ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast - 16th January 2024
Episode Date: January 16, 2024What did you do soon after having a baby? Tell them to "Go f*ck yourself" Telling people off in public Is it tennis or is it an adult film? Embarrassing first hook ups. See omnystudio.com/listener fo...r privacy information.
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The ZM Podcast Network.
Hello everybody and welcome to the Brie and Clint show.
G'day guys, second day of the year for us, for the show.
And I think we started strong.
I think we started strong.
And it's probably going to be downhill from here.
What was the highlight of yesterday's show?
You know what was the highlight.
Oh, the fart in the jar.
That sounds real weird out of context.
Yeah, well, if you didn't hear it, why didn't you tune into our show yesterday?
Yeah, just to clarify, no one actually farted in the jar.
No, but you made plans to.
Yes, but that was in my own personal time
and not at work.
Yeah, right.
Because that'd be weird if it was at work.
But if you've listened to this show at all
over the last six years,
the idea of you doing a fart in a jar
isn't like outside of the realm of possibility,
you know?
Let me take this opportunity.
If you'd like to buy a Breeze fart in the jar,
please call 0800-DIAL-ZENM right now. I didn't know you were monetising it. Yeah, you'd like to buy a Breeze Fart in the jar, please call 0800 DIALS at M right now.
I didn't know you were monetising it.
Yeah, you've got to monetise anything these days.
Yeah.
The awful thing is someone would buy that.
Mate, there's that woman who started a whole account
where that's all she did,
and then eventually she had to stop
because of all the foods that she was having to eat.
It was affecting her gut.
It was affecting her gut and her health so bad.
And so instead I think she started selling her own sweat.
Oh.
Yeah, just, I mean, you can sell anything.
You can sell, well, you can sell anything.
I could.
What?
I just don't know if there's anything I could sell.
What could you sell?
That's a really good point.
I mean, it's not the way I intended to start the show,
but if there's any of my bodily functions anyone would like to purchase,
get in touch.
See, it sounds weirder when you say it.
Why is that?
I don't know.
Why is that?
I don't know.
Why is that?
Okay, let's rip into it.
We've got 50 bucks cash up for grabs with Tradiverse Lady.
The lady's got the first win of the year yesterday,
continuing their strong form from 2023.
Come on, where are the Tradies?
Are you going to bite back?
0800 dials it in.
Bree and Clint.
It's Tradie vs. Lady.
Three, two, one, let's go.
It's the deciding year. Who will take it all, the Tradies! Three, two, one, let's go! It's the deciding year.
Who will take it all, the Tradies or the Ladies?
Well, the Ladies started off strong yesterday on the board with one win.
The Tradies yet to get on the board.
Let's go live to our Lady First in Christchurch.
She is 25 years old and she just got a job as a preschool teacher.
Congratulations and welcome to Emily.
Hi, Emily. Do you reckon you've picked the right year?
Pardon? You know like when teachers they obviously have to pick
the year that they want to teach. Oh you mean like the age bracket. Yeah.
So with preschool teaching you're generally, so I'm a teacher in training.
Okay. So they kind of just fill the gap. So I'm with
like four year olds and children that I just get into school.
Yes.
But if I had it my way, I'd work with two-year-olds.
I love two-year-olds.
I think they're so cute.
I've got a two-year-old.
She is very, very fun.
What about...
So much personality.
Yeah.
What about the terrible twos?
No.
No.
No.
If anything, like four-year-olds.
Four-year-olds?
I reckon it's four-year-olds. Four-year-olds? I reckon it's four-year-olds.
Four-year-olds, that's when they become sassy.
Oh, I've got a four-year-old too.
She's also a lot of fun.
You always want what you don't have.
Okay, you're taking on our training today from Rangiora.
They are 35.
They are a mother of two boys, born one year apart.
Geez, not much time off for you, Lauren.
Welcome to the show.
Thank you.
G'day, Lauren. You wanted to get in there and get it done.
Well, it wasn't really planned, but you know, we're really happy. Yeah, amazing. That's so funny. Just after
Tradie vs Lady, we're talking about things you were back doing straight after
having a baby. Oh, yeah. And Lauren was back having a baby.
Back having another baby. Okay, yeah. And Lauren was back having a baby. Back having another baby.
Okay, let's do this.
Nice and clear on the lady and the tradie.
Actually, let's go.
Your buzzers are Emily and Lauren today, I reckon.
Yes.
And Emily, yours is Emily, and Lauren, yours is Lauren.
That makes sense.
It'd be weird if it was the other way around.
First three correct answers gets 50 bucks cash from KFC.
Good luck.
Good luck, guys.
Here we go.
Question number one.
Which country originated the sport of curling?
Was it Switzerland, Scotland or Serbia?
Emily.
Yes, Emily.
Switzerland.
Ooh.
That's a good guess.
Incorrect though, Lauren.
Scotland.
It's Scotland, yeah.
It is Scotland.
Scotland originated the sport of curling.
Nice work. We're one point to the tradies. It is Scotland. Originated the sport of curling. Nice work.
We're one point to the tradies.
Question number two.
The hit film from the late 1990s
starred Cameron Diaz and Ben Stiller
and it was titled There's Just Something About What?
Emily.
Yes, Emily.
Mary.
Mary.
She's on the board.
Nice work, Emily.
That's the only reason I know that.
Oh, okay.
Boom.
You got it.
And is there something about your sister, Mary?
Oh, she's an odd one.
Yeah, right.
As long as she doesn't do that bit with the hair gel where she thinks it's hair gel.
Oh, okay.
We've all seen the scene.
Iconic.
Okay, we are one apiece.
Question number three.
Buzz in when you can tell me who sings this song.
I'm on tonight, you know my voice don't play.
Emily.
Emily.
Shakira.
Shakira, Shakira.
Shakira, Shakira.
That's nice work, Emily.
Two to the ladies, one to the tradies.
You need this one, Lauren, to stay in it.
Question number four.
I do.
What major Grand Slam tennis event is currently taking place?
Emily.
Yes, Emily, for the win.
The Australian Open.
She's got it.
Well done, Emily.
She's a lady.
Oh, oh, oh, she's a lady.
It was a nice, tight game, but Emily, you are victorious.
$50 cash coming your way.
Thank you very much.
She's like, I've done my work.
I'm not concentrating anymore.
We got there in the end.
I want to talk about Naomi Osaka. If you don't know who that is,
four-time Grand Slam champion, tennis player, and
she recently has taken some time off from tennis, but everyone's talking about
her at the moment because it's her first time playing in a Grand Slam
at the Aussie Open since she took time off to have a baby.
Yeah, not that long ago.
Six months ago.
And she's back playing it.
And she's playing in a Grand Slam tennis tournament.
That's why my ears pricked up straight away.
I was like, wow, that is incredible.
I went and watched a bit of the tennis in Auckland over summer
and the way that those people,
the things that they put their body through
in a two-hour match of tennis, it's crazy.
The thing that you're doing that six months after having a baby.
It's quite incredible.
And unfortunately for Naomi Osaka,
her bed, the Australian Open bed,
came to a very, very quick end in the first round last night when she was knocked out by 16th seed Caroline Garcia.
I mean, she was up against it.
She's the 16th seed.
Also, blame the baby.
Well.
You got a good excuse.
She got asked in the press conference, you know, like, how did you feel like coming back?
You know, this is like your first big tournament coming
back and we have some audio of her talking about uh how she felt playing six months after giving
birth of course i have to tell myself like hey like six months ago you were pregnant and stuff
like that and of course like there's a voice in my head so like that's like who are you to like
think that you can come back and immediately start winning matches but i don't know it i kind of always
expect myself to stand a chance anyways yeah interesting she's i mean she's incredible yeah
like i'd be happy to just be able to walk five kilometers six months later after having a baby.
Yeah.
My mum always boasts.
My mum always says to me, and I don't remember the exact details,
but she always, like, boasts to me that after,
I think it was after my sister's, like, her first baby,
which was an emergency C-section.
Yeah.
I think she always boasts about how quickly she came back
to play A-grade netball in Stanthorpe.
After a caesarean?
Yeah.
Really?
I think it was quite quick.
Like?
Like she bounced back quite quick.
What do we reckon it was?
Oh, I need to, I'll text her and ask her.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because.
Back out on the netty court.
Yeah, she was like, I was back out playing A-grade netball.
Thank you very much.
Having witnessed my wife give birth twice,
women's bodies are just incredible
in what they are capable of doing.
Playing
a Grand Slam tennis match, I don't think that's on many
people's to-do list after having a baby,
but you know. Truly amazing
from Naomi Osaka.
Like, just ridiculous. I thought we could ask
and put it out there, because I'd love to hear your
stories this afternoon.
What was the thing, how soon after you gave birth?
What were you doing?
Like how soon after you gave birth and you were back doing what?
How soon?
Yeah, did you do the Tongariro Crossing?
Oh, that's pretty impressive.
Oh, I can't think of anything worse.
That is pretty impressive.
To be honest, I can't think of anything worse than doing is pretty impressive. To be honest, I can't think of anything worse
than doing the Tongariro Crossing.
Even having not given birth.
Not having given birth.
To be honest, my hips felt like I'd given birth
after doing the Tongariro Crossing.
Yeah, well, it doesn't matter what it is.
We're just keen to know what it is.
If it's something that you didn't think
you would be able to do so soon after
or your partner did so soon after
they gave birth to a child, oh, $800 at the end where you can text it to do so soon after, or your partner did so soon after they gave birth to a child,
oh, $800 at the end where you can text it to 9696.
We'd love to hear about it.
Come on, boast a little bit.
Why not?
That person we just had on for Tradie First Lady,
who a year after having a baby, they had a baby.
It's impressive.
It's very impressive.
How does that even happen?
I mean, I know how it happens.
Well, let's have a conversation
up there, I'll tell you.
Truly amazing
and inspirational story
from the Australian Open.
Naomi Osaka is
out in the first round, but it's not about
that. It's about the fact that she's
playing a Grand Slam
tennis tournament and she gave
birth to her daughter, Shai, six months ago.
Wild.
She's playing top-level tennis.
She gave birth six months ago.
It's truly amazing.
So we're asking you the question, what were you back doing
and how soon after giving birth?
This is Lauren, who played Tradiverse Lady with us.
We said that Lauren, one year after giving birth, she gave birth. This is Lauren who played Tradiverse Lady with us. We said that Lauren, one year after giving birth,
she gave birth.
Yeah, she had babies back to back.
But Lauren, you said there's something else as well.
There is.
I'm just a walking ball of bad decisions.
So I thought it was going to be a great idea
three weeks after giving birth
to do a road trip around the South Island.
What?
Three weeks? Three weeks after giving birth to do a road trip around the South Island. What? Three weeks?
Three weeks after giving birth to my second because my parents came to
visit because they wanted to meet their
grandchildren. And I was like, you've never
been to New Zealand. It's a beautiful country.
This is a great idea. We're going to go on a road trip.
I hope you didn't take
the bumpy road, Lauren.
Oh, gosh.
We did.
That sounds like a nightmare. You need to be fully I hope you didn't take the bumpy road, Lauren. Oh, gosh. We did. Oh, we did.
That sounds like a nightmare.
You need to be fully selfish after you've had a baby.
Did you have a donut pillow at least?
No, I did not.
God, you're hardcore.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was.
I mean, hardcore is one way to put it.
Yeah, it was quite a soft core at that stage, I reckon, to be honest.
That's amazing, Lauren.
Thanks, Lauren.
Thanks for sharing.
Someone texted her and said,
my friend was back on her horse competing in competitive equestrian.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
One week after giving birth.
That's amazing.
Someone else said,
I played soccer six weeks after an emergency C-section.
That was you, wasn't it, Kirsty?
Kirsty.
Yes, that was me.
Six weeks.
How, Kirsty?
Probably wasn't the cleverest thing to do,
but I got fed up on the sideline of people not running for the ball.
Kirsty's like, put me in coach, I'll show them how it's done.
You guys are so useless.
Actually, the coach was my husband, and I was like, I can't deal with it.
Put me on.
He was like, that's not wise.
And I was like, you will.
And he was like, okay, go get changed.
I need to ask, Kirstie, what position were you playing?
Oh, we lost her.
We lost you.
I'm a striker.
Oh, you're a striker.
Jeez, Kirstie. Yeah, right. Okay. Oh, you're a striker. Jeez, Kirsty.
Yeah, right.
Okay.
How did it go?
How did you feel afterwards?
No, we've got a bad line.
Okay, no worries.
No worries.
A few more texts coming through.
Someone else said, I did the fitness test to be a fireman four months after the birth
of my third child.
I used the baby as a weight to train carrying an oxygen tank.
That's incredible.
Someone else said, I gave birth at 2 a.m. on Christmas Day
and was at home at 7 a.m. having Christmas dinner at 12 p.m.
Oh, yeah.
That's amazing.
Someone else said, there's so many coming through.
Someone else said, I was in the drive-thru getting breakfast 40 minutes after on my way home.
40 minutes?
40 minutes.
Do they send people home that soon?
Well, they can't stop you if you want to leave.
That's amazing.
If they stop serving breakfast at the drive-thru at 10.30
and you gave birth at 9.50,
breakfast stops at 10.30.
That's your prerogative.
You mentioned before that your mum got straight back
into the competitive netball scene not long after a caesarean birth.
A-grade netball in country Queensland.
A-grade netball in country Queensland.
Mama Di, hi.
Hi, Mum.
Hi, good evening, guys.
Happy New Year, and I hope everyone's back on deck.
All right, don't avoid the question I hope everyone's back on deck. All right.
Don't avoid the question.
We need to know the details.
What is the thing that you boast about all the time?
Which birth was it, and what were you doing how soon after?
It was Amber, and I was back playing competitive American basketball.
Oh.
Oh, jeez.
Okay. This is even...
Excuse me, because the netball is for, you know,
it's not quite as...
Hectic.
Rigorous, yeah.
Yes, and I had an emergency seizure as well.
So how long?
How long after?
Six weeks later, I was back playing competitive
American basketball and aerobics.
At the same time, why?
Why did you get back into it so fast?
Well, Clint, you should know by now,
you're locked in a house for six weeks with a baby.
You don't care what you're doing.
You just want to get out of the house.
And the excuse is, the team was short, I'm off.
I can just picture my mum holding up the basketball being like,
I had this in me six weeks ago.
Mind you, I played, I was six months pregnant with Amber
and played the grand final of the American basketball.
I don't know if that's recommended.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And we won.
Yeah, well, congratulations.
You know what?
Actually, no, we take it back.
It's great advice.
That makes it all worth it.
Yeah, everyone should have a new mum on their team.
It's just a good strategy
because they will do anything to get to that game.
Thanks, Mum and Dad.
Bye, Mum.
All I can say, guys, just one thing.
Yeah, okay.
Make sure you feed before you go.
Mum, uterus of a warrior.
Yeah, drain those chest basketballs before you get on the court.
Thanks, Mum and Dad.
Talk to you soon.
Love you, guys.
Bree and Clint.
Time for the latest with Dean McCarthy.
From iHeartRadio, this is the latest live from LA with Dean McCarthy.
It's awards season.
Today is the Emmys in Los Angeles.
And Dean, what's the goss?
Who are the big winners?
Who are the big losers?
What's going on?
Everyone's the winner.
You know these days.
Here's a so-called my favourite, Jennifer Coolidge won,
obviously, the best supporting actress for her role in The White Lotus.
Thanks to the evil gays.
The evil gays are going to get me real bad.
Real bad.
Oh, I got a hot dog.
Like, she's so good.
Obviously, the big stars were all there.
The Bear, obviously, nominated, won a ton of big awards,
obviously, for, I mean, Best Director.
It also won Best Actor for Christopher Sora.
And, obviously, Best Director.
I mean, it was a huge, huge winner on the day.
Nancy Nash from Dharma.
She won Best Supporting Actress.
Ooh, I love that.
Succession, Best Supporting Actor went to Matthew McFadden in that one as well.
And of course, I hope you're sitting down.
Queen's RuPaul's Drag Race won Best Reality Competition.
Yes, Queen.
Hell yeah.
I did not have it on.
Just a big day.
But look, let's talk about the red carpet
because I want to show you some highlights and some lowlights.
Jenna Ortega, who obviously plays Wednesday,
she was nominated.
She didn't win for her role in Wednesday,
but she looked so fabulous on the red carpet.
Jennifer Coolidge crushed the red carpet.
Khalid Abdaal, he played Dodi Al-Fayed in
The Crown. Oh, yes. Remember the guy
that, yeah, he wore a
sign on his hand that said,
Never Again, which was a special message
out that everyone is kind of like
reading into that and wondering what he's kind of
saying. It kind of brought a bit of political
moment to
the red carpet.
And I was sort of talking about
that right now. But it was a really fabulous day.
Selena Gomez was there. She took
her boyfriend, Benny Blanco.
Now, I've spent a lot
of time with Benny Blanco. I've been to his house
and everything. He lives in West Hollywood.
He's the most regular
dude. He's like
regular.
He's obviously very talented. He's written songs with
all the big stars and very successful.
But just like a regular dude.
I feel like that's her vibe though.
Like she's quieted down to earth.
A regular dude era.
You know?
Yeah.
So I feel like it's a good match for her.
I did see Melanie Linsky, the Kiwi, who was nominated for multiple things,
mainly the show Yellow Jackets.
And she was really good in Last of Us too.
Yeah, so she had multiple nominations.
She wasn't able to go to the event as she got COVID-19.
Oh, no.
Which sucks.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Do you reckon any of the other big stars were still testing for COVID-19?
I feel like that.
No.
It's a hard one.
Good on her for testing, but I feel like a lot of them wouldn't have been, you know?
Yeah, right.
I'll see what you say.
I'll just leave that one there.
Good gosh.
Thank you, Dean.
I feel like we were there.
Now we've got all the details.
We appreciate it.
He's our eyes and ears in Hollywood.
Dean McCarthy.
Brian Clint.
The Thames Coromandel District Mayor Len Salt is in the news
and he says he's got no regrets after signing off an email response
to a constituent's query with these words exactly, and I quote,
go F yourself, kind regards, Len.
He'd had enough.
And he thought this is, I think, the best way to sign off and finish this email.
And this was in his capacity, his official capacity as his lordship, the mayor.
This wasn't from len.salt at gmail.com.
No, I don't believe so.
I don't believe so.
This is from len.salt at thamescoromandaldistrictcouncil.govt.nz.
Exactly.
What was it?
Go F yourself.
Go F yourself.
Kind regards, Lynn.
Kind regards.
I like it.
I like it.
Because he still gets, you know, he still gets in there the kind regards.
Yeah, I like it.
So then you don't really know how to feel.
Because he's just told you to go F yourself. Yeah, it's a real. Then he there the kind regards. Yeah, I like it. So then you don't really know how to feel. Because he's just told you to go F yourself.
Yeah, it's a real.
Then he also said kind regards.
The shock of being told to go F myself by the mayor of the Thames Coromandel District Council
would really make me sit bolt upright.
Yeah.
I mean, it packs quite a punch, I think.
Yeah.
I just love the phrase, go F yourself.
Yeah.
Like, it's just such a good phrase.
It's a great way to end a strongly worded email.
Oh, it's the best way.
Because it says, I'm finished with you.
Yes.
I'm not interested in discussing this any further.
It's telling you what to do, where to go.
And how to do it.
And how to do it.
And to who.
Yeah.
I mean, it covers every base. It's got it all in there. Yeah. I think how to do it. And how to do it. And to who. Yeah. I mean, it covers every base.
It's got it all in there.
Yeah.
I think Len's nailed it.
He's done well.
Is there anybody in your life that you think deserves the Len Salt treatment?
Like where I feel like it constitutes that phrase.
Yeah.
Is there anybody over the summer break that you feel has wronged you,
that you'd like to call out?
There is.
I can't really say.
I wouldn't say.
There's some people I'm going to talk about after 4.30 when I went
to the movies recently.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know if I would have used that phrase exactly because they were
about 13.
I was going to say they were children.
They were children.
I'm going to say teenagers.
I'm going to say young adults.
But I don't know.
It's a very aggressive phrase.
Would you say?
Yeah, I'll give it a go though.
Yeah.
I'll give it a go.
And this is actually to people who are in the Thames Coromandel District as well.
Yeah.
So, okay, yeah, I can do this.
I can do this.
To the people, look, I get fireworks on New Year's Eve. Okay, I'm not that much of a grinch that I don't get fireworks. I don't get them on New Year's Eve. Oh, yeah, I can do this, I can do this. To the people, look, I get fireworks on New Year's Eve.
Okay, I'm not that much of a grinch that I don't get fireworks,
I don't get them on New Year's Eve.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
But to the people who were letting off fireworks at midnight
on the 2nd of January and the 3rd of January
in the Coromandel over Christmas.
I'm with you.
At midnight and again at 2am.
I'm with you.
In the words of Len Salt, go f*** yourself.
Yep, I'm totally with it. I'm with that. I've got one, I've got one, I'm with you. In the words of Lynn Salt, go f*** yourself. Yep.
I'm totally with it. I'm with that.
I've got one. I've got one. I've got one.
I feel like I've got the vibe now.
To whoever in my family unit
thought it would be appropriate
to eat the last
two pieces of lasagna
that I slaved over and I
made and hadn't had any pieces yet. Of the Christmas lasagna? Of the Christmas lasagna that I slaved over and I made and hadn't had any
pieces yet. Of the Christmas lasagna?
Of the Christmas lasagna.
Didn't check and say, has everyone had
a piece of lasagna? Yeah.
I hadn't because I was in the kitchen working my
tush off. You can go
f*** yourself.
We've got the hang of this beep thing.
I think we nailed it, yeah. Do we dare
open it up to everybody else?
I think so.
Do we dare offer the people of New Zealand the opportunity to tell somebody to go...
Themselves.
Themselves.
I think so.
Do you have someone or something?
It doesn't have to be someone.
It could be something.
Yeah.
Or a situation.
If you want to go and tell them.
It'll be live, by the way, so we're going to put quite a lot of trust in you.
Yes, we're asking you not to swear on the radio.
We're going to have the beeps ready.
We're simulating swear word.
But we do need to just also keep in mind the beep isn't real.
You just have to not say the F part.
Yeah, the beep can't prevent you from saying that.
You know what I mean?
You have to see.
I don't think they realise that just because you press that.
It doesn't override them.
Exactly.
See, I can keep talking over the top of them.
It doesn't cover up what we're saying.
I trust the people.
I trust the people.
Especially the angry ones.
Who do you want to go and tell them to F themselves?
Give us a call.
0800 dials at it.
Get in your Len Salt,
Mayor of the Thames Coromandel District Council era.
Someone who's painting the town red at the moment
is the Thames Coromandel District Mayor,
Len Salt,
who has gone viral
because he's replied to someone's email
and signed it off with,
go F yourself. kind regards, Len.
Straight to the point.
To the point.
I feel like his constituents would back him on that.
I feel like that's why we elected Len.
Yeah, well.
No funny business.
He actually made a comment and he said,
if people were to say this is not the language or decorum you'd expect from a mayor,
I would take that criticism on the chin, he said.
He goes, fair enough.
I thought you were going to say, he said,
those people can go F themselves.
But they can also go F themselves.
So look, we're being very trusting with this
and offering you the chance, like Len,
to get it off your chest because it is a great way to vent
the old go F yourself.
It is.
It's one of the, I think, the best lines to use.
Would you like to call up, explain who deserves that,
and then tell them to go F themselves.
But we will use our magic button to make it all kosher.
Replace the F part.
Now, Trish, we're going to get you to go first.
Just make sure Trish knows what's going on. Hi, Trish. Hi Now Trish We're going to get you Now just make sure Trish knows
What's going on
Hi Trish
Hi Trish
Hey
Do you understand
That the button
Doesn't actually work
It's imaginary
Yeah
So
I'm thinking
I'm going to say
A different word
But it's appropriate
Far more appropriate
Oh okay
Okay
Because we're hoping
That you just
Maybe would stop
You'd say go And then I'd do the button, and then you'd carry on.
And then you'd finish it off.
Okay, cool.
And if you're really daring, you could put in a ffff, you know,
to make it sound like.
Like I'm saying it.
Okay, cool.
You could put a ffff with a defined G at the end.
Trish has got it.
She knows.
She's all over it.
All right.
She's all over it.
Let's not mollycoddle her. Trish, when you're
ready, take it away. Okay.
Alright, so I
just received a letter the other day
from someone who has complained
about my number plate
and would like it revoked.
So my number plate is
FNYWXR
which I'm a beauty therapist
and it means funny waxer.
Oh, funny waxer, obviously.
I love it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's been described as obscene and offensive.
Oh, what?
I just feel like there's some rude-minded people out there
that have totally misinterpreted what the message I was trying to convey.
I agree.
So to that person, what do you say?
I would like to tell them to go f*** themselves.
Yes!
Trish, we nailed it!
Thanks, guys.
My heart was racing there.
Trish, I feel like this is a real injustice.
Can I sign a petition to help you get that number played back on the road?
Thank you.
I've just started one on Instagram,
and I've had a lot of other suggestions for some alternatives
should it not work out.
Oh, yeah, what's another good one?
What's another good one that you've got?
What about I would suggest bee hole waxer?
Oh, that could be a good one.
You should enter on our thing.
I'll poke a hooker.
Or BVRWXR.
Back cracking.
No, Beaver Waxer.
SLKMIK.
SLKML.
Okay.
SLK.
I don't know what I should say.
I don't like it.
I feel like that one needed a...
Oh, no.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, no.
Yeah.
Thanks, Trish.
Thanks, Trish.
Well done. Okay. All right. Move along. Move along. Move along. If you know, you know. Tony's okay. Yeah, no. Thanks, Trish. Thanks, Trish. Well done.
Okay, all right, move along, move along, move along.
If you know, you know.
Tony's here.
Hi, Tony.
Hi, Tony.
Hello.
Tony, who needs this?
Who do you believe needs this same message?
It's a kind of funny story.
So on a daily basis, if not more times than one,
I often tell my boyfriend to go f*** himself.
I wasn't ready.
I wasn't ready.
Tony, you need to give us a warning when you're going to do that.
Why are you telling your boyfriend to go f*** himself?
It's not in a toxic way.
It's more in a loving way, but just a reminder.
Oh, it's a loving go F yourself.
Yeah, I know the one.
All right.
Yeah, but still saying the phrase, but I mean it not in a mean way.
Well, go on.
Yeah, I want to hear what it sounds like.
Deliver it in a loving way.
I'm ready on the button this time.
Okay, I still say go F yourself.
Okay.
I didn't hear a lot.
Sounds the same to me.
Yeah, I didn't hear a lot of love,
but I guess it's all in the context,
isn't it, Tony?
Yeah, I mean,
it's still in the main context,
but I don't mean it meanly.
Okay, as long as he knows it's all good.
It's in the eyes.
I reckon when she, you know, says it, it's in the eyes.
Finally, Darren's here.
Hi, Darren.
Hi, Darren.
How are you?
Darren, you're not going to screw this up, eh?
You know exactly how to do this.
Oh, I know that you have.
Okay, perfect.
You're all over it, Darren. When you're ready, tell us the going to screw this up, eh? You know exactly how to do this. I know exactly how to do it. You're all over it, Darren.
When you're ready, tell us the story if you need to
and then tell us who you want to go tell them to F themselves.
Well, I don't know who I'm telling to go F themselves,
but they robbed my house while I was away on Christmas.
Someone robbed your house, Darren.
Dirty bastards.
What did they take?
They took my washing machine because I didn't get into the wash house.
What?
Who steals a washing machine?
Do you ever...
I know, and jokes on them because the washing machine was broke before I left.
A washing machine's such a pain in the arse
because you've got to unscrew the cold tap,
you've got to unscrew the hot tap.
Who steals a washing machine?
All right, Darren.
So to the people that robbed my house,
you can go...
yourself. Oh, you nailed it, Darren. Well done, mate. Nice my house, you can go **** yourself.
Oh, you nailed it, Darren.
Well done, mate. Nice work, Dazza.
You absolutely smashed that.
Nice work, Daz.
Was it a front loader or a top loader?
It was a top loader.
Oh, I can see why now, yeah.
No one's stealing a front loader.
Those things are so heavy.
Hard to come by.
Cheers, Dazza.
See you, Daz.
Happy New Year, mate.
Thank you.
Thank you.
There you go No F-words
I think they nailed it
Everyone did a good job
Yeah
Everyone needs to open the Go F-Yourself corner more often
I think so
Okay
Gets a lot off your chest, doesn't it?
Feels good
Hey, let's get classical
Cool
We'll bring the mood of the show The tone of the show up a bit, you know? Yeah Let's get classic Cool.
We bring the mood of the show, the tone of the show up a bit, you know?
Yeah.
We bring some classical music to the airwaves.
We bring a bit of culture to the air.
Yeah.
We reek of culture on this show.
And not the type you find in sourdough.
Claudia's here.
Hi, Claudia.
Hello.
She's in charge. She's our maestro. Hi, Claudia. Hello. She's in charge.
She's our maestro.
Oh, you're like Bradley Cooper on that new movie.
What's it called?
Maestro.
I haven't seen it or heard of it.
You haven't even heard of it?
Really?
I thought you were going to say that one he did with Gaga.
I also haven't seen that one.
Fun fact, Claudia's also wearing a prosthetic nose.
Yeah, just like Bradley Cooper.
I'll never take it off and you'll never see.
Let me play Leonard Bernstein.
We just want to know.
Like you said, this is Let's Get Classical.
I've taken songs from the ZM playlist,
turned them classical,
and you guys just have to guess what they are.
Okay, we're ready.
So buzz in with your names if you can tell me.
I need the artist and the name of the song.
Here's your first one.
Clint.
Clint. That is Ocean Ellie's Confidence. You got it.
Did you guys know that one of them stole a drink bottle
lid over the New Year? Didn't hear that.
We joke, but
how wild was that story?
It was wild.
And everyone's like, I didn't have that on my bingo card for 2024.
And then someone from the Green Party starts stealing $15,000 worth of clothes.
What next?
I mean... What next?
I feel like they're just trying to one-up each other.
Nicolas Cage is going to steal the Declaration of Independence.
Nah, that would never happen.
He's going to steal a Mustang.
Okay, 1-0?
Yeah, one point to Clint.
Here's another one.
Clint?
Clint.
Black Eyed Peas, Pump It?
You're on a roll.
You're on fire.
Which is actually sampling a different song
Yeah
So that could have been that song on Pulp Fiction
Oh yeah
Yeah
You got the right song, well done
I um
Right now
I saw an interesting fact the other day
That made my brain go
Wait
Yeah
The song from the Black Eyed Peas, Where Is The Love?
Yeah.
It's Justin Timberlake singing the chorus, not Fergie.
Did you not know that?
No, I did know that.
Yeah.
But then, like, I also hadn't thought about it.
Yeah, it's real weird because it's when they relaunched with Fergie,
but the first song they dropped was with Justin Timberlake and no Fergie.
She's not in it at all, is she?
It was at the same time that Justin Timberlake
sung the McDonald's theme song as well.
I'm loving it.
Yeah, weird, eh, to think about that.
Anyway, I'm just trying to distract from how badly I'm playing.
No, you can get one here.
I feel like maybe this is your one.
It's all about confidence, baby.
Good luck.
Okay.
Oh, I've got the tip of my brain.
Oh!
Brie!
Brie.
This is me, Keita Siddle.
Very close.
I'll give it to you.
Keala.
Keala Siddle.
Keala Siddle from Greatest Showman.
Yeah.
What a tune.
Genuinely, I thought you buzzed in because Clint was making noises
like he knew what it was.
No, it was...
I wouldn't have got it.
You wouldn't have got it.
I'd recognise it, I wouldn't have got it.
Yeah, if you have never,
if you watch one thing on the internet tonight, go home and Google when Keala Siddle and the team from The Greatest Showman,
when they're pitching to get this movie over the line, getting funding,
and they impromptu sing this song.
Oh, my God, it's amazing.
She's not joking.
Brie showed it to me last year.
It's incredible.
One of the best videos that exists on the internet. Go Google it. Br's not joking. Brie showed it to me last year. It's incredible. One of the best videos that exists on the internet.
Go Google it.
Brie and Clint.
Fletchvorn and Hayley are teasing a big announcement on their show at 8am this Thursday.
That sounds exciting.
I wonder what that is.
I don't know.
Shit.
There can only be one thespian on the show.
Oh, you're thespian.
Yeah.
Have you been confused? Thespian. Thespian. I thought you hadespian. Yeah. Have you been confused?
Thespian.
I thought you had Lisp.
Yeah.
Look, I need to talk about a situation that happened over the holiday break recently,
actually, just this past weekend.
I have nearly told off some kids in public.
Yeah, this is a big moment as far as...
I've nearly gone full psycho bee on them. Yeah, this is a big part of aging out... I've nearly gone full psycho bee on them.
Yeah, this is a big part of ageing out,
is what they call it.
Like, I know I thought about that at the time.
Like, I was like, oh, I'm old.
I'm getting to that point where things make me...
If you tell kids off in public,
you are no longer one of the kids.
Mm.
Yeah.
Well, to be honest,
I wouldn't want her to be part of this group
because they were quite rude and disrespectful.
Give me the details.
Let's see if you're justified.
So here's the details.
Just before the holiday break, my partner and I bought a house,
so we've been doing a lot of renos on that, working really hard,
haven't done much relaxing.
But it's been good.
It's been great.
We're very excited.
But it gets to last weekend and we thought let's treat ourselves
because we've done a lot of hard work, you know,
been sweating our bollocks off and we decided we'd book ourselves
in to go see a movie.
Okay.
And relax for a little bit.
Yeah, nice.
You know, have a good time.
Yeah.
And we decided we'd go to one of the fanciest cinemas
where you can order food and they bring it to you
and it's a smaller cinema.
Like it's quite a boutique cinema so there's not many seats in it but they bring food in, it's a good time and you sit back and you relax.
Anyway, get to the cinema and we
sit down, we've got our seats, we're happy and as we walk in there's a grandma
and she's got her little granddaughters with her and they're like about six or seven.
Very cute because we went to go see the movie wonka oh perfect so we've walked past them
and we've sat salt burn yeah i don't think grandma was gonna go see salt burn with the grandkids
uh we sit down and that's all good we're the only ones in the cinema yeah and the movie's just about
to start and these two teenage girls walk into the cinema, yahooing,
laughing, having a good time.
They're on holidays.
They've obviously been dropped off by their parents.
Yeah.
And they're there by themselves to watch a movie.
Okay.
Fun.
Fun.
So I reckon they would have been like 13, 13-ish.
Two 13-year-old girls.
Yes.
Two to 13-year-old girls.
They sit in the seats directly in front of us
because it's not a big cinema.
They're in the seats in front of us.
Anyway, straight away my gut says these two are going to be trouble
because they were very loud.
Anyway, I was like, no, they'll calm down once the credits play,
the trailers play and the lights go down.
Once it goes dark, they'll get the message.
Everyone kind of pipes down.
Everyone knows the cinema etiquette.
Oh, no.
It got worse.
They were talking at full volume to each other the entire film.
And when I say the entire film, I'm not exaggerating.
They took a phone call multiple times.
They made fake fart sounds with their hands.
They got up and down to go buy more food.
I'm not exaggerating when I say about seven or eight times.
So every time you open the door and the light comes in,
I was sitting there just raging because I was like,
all I want to do is be entranced by this movie, sit back and relax, not think about anything.
And these two girls who were sitting right in front of me,
and I was like, you know, we could move seats,
but because it's so small, the cinema, it's not going to make much difference.
Look, I will put it out there and say I did do a couple of...
Very loud shush.
Yeah, fair enough too.
And I thought about saying something, but I was like,
oh, I don't want to be that person.
It's disrespectful to you.
It's disrespectful to Grandma.
It's disrespectful to Timothy Chamolet.
So did you, Brie Thomas L, say anything to the teenage girls?
No, I didn't.
And I regret it.
If I could go back it If I could go back
I would tell those girls
Because it's actually fun
Like telling people off
And taking the moral high ground
When you know you're right
I feel like I was in the right
If it's fireworks
It's open for opinion
But if it's talking and taking phone calls in a movie
You are right
And if the bloody
cinema usher came in and said, what's going on in here?
You could say, the bloody talking and taking phone calls.
They'd go, well, actually, you're right. Thank you.
You're in the right. Girls, come with us.
What would you have said? Here's a question
for you, because I sat there and I
thought about what I would say.
Like, what I would say, like I've got
one shot at it. What would you lean
over and say to them? I'd use my dad voice. Yeah. And I'd go. Here we go. I would say, like I've got one shot at it, what would you lean over and say to them?
I'd use my dad voice.
Yeah.
And I'd go.
Here we go.
I'd say, all right, girls, you've had your fun.
It's time to cut it out.
And then they look at you and go, all right, dad.
You're not our dad.
Yeah, probably.
Probably.
I thought about it and I feel like I would have went with a real simple,
I lean over and I will, look, I know they're teenagers,
but they weren't acting like it.
Or I'll lean over and say, hey, girls, can you please kindly shut the up?
Oh, you needed this.
Can you please shut the up?
And that's it.
Like, real simple.
You should have done it.
You should have done it.
It could be years before you get that opportunity again.
I know, because it's very rare.
It's very rare you find yourself in this situation.
We want to ask you this afternoon,
when did you take the decision to do it
and tell somebody off in public for their bad behaviour?
What were they doing where you thought, no, this constitutes...
No, it's not appropriate.
What they're doing is not appropriate.
This is appropriate for me to go over and tell them off.
Oh, $800.
Or you can text your situation into 9696.
We want to know, when did you tell somebody off in public?
We'd love to hear your stories. Bree and Clint. When did you tell somebody off in public? We'd love to hear your stories.
Bree and Clint.
When did you tell someone off in public?
Oh, I've got mad regrets, eh?
Because you never, it's very rare that you're in a situation
where I feel like you know you're in the right
and you have the opportunity.
Yeah, you had the moral high ground.
To tell someone off.
A couple of teenage girls sitting in front of me at the cinema
and, oh, just their parents would have been so disappointed
in their behaviour.
They talked through the whole movie.
Talked through the whole movie, full volume,
took a bunch of phone calls,
making fart noises with their hands,
which I found quite funny, but still, like, just be quiet.
Just shut up.
So did you do what Brie couldn't
and actually tell somebody else off in public?
AJ's caught up.
Hi, AJ.
Hi, AJ.
G'day, mate.
How you doing?
Yeah, g'day, mate.
Happy New Year.
When did you do it, AJ?
It wasn't me.
It was my brother late last year.
We were strolling around in his Ford or driving in Brisbane,
and all of a sudden he winds down the window
and he's like,
Oi!
Put a bloody helmet on!
Someone on a bike, I assume.
I mean, he's got a point.
Kids riding around without helmets on.
Ironically, that'd probably be enough
to scare the kids into crashing their bike
and causing themselves an injury.
And they'll learn a lesson.
I mean, he was a paediatrician,
so maybe he was trying to drum up some business.
They didn't know that.
I could just picture it.
Put a helmet on, you bloody idiot!
Let's go to Kate on 0800.ZM.
Hi, Kate.
Hi, Kate.
Hi, guys.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year.
Kate, tell us, mate,
when did you tell someone off in public?
Well, it's not me.
It's someone in our town.
And no one on the Facebook pages, like the local Facebook pages, is Peggy.
And she drives this little white car.
Oh, no.
And she goes around following them.
And if they are doing something that she thinks is wrong,
and if she sees and she pulls them up, like, you know, if they park in the park
and they, you know, go to get out of the car,
she'll go behind them and get out
and accuse them of driving ridiculously
or whatever they do.
So she's a local vigilante is what she is.
Yeah, yeah.
But, like, she takes it very seriously
and you see her driving around all the time.
And, yeah, she's well-known on the Facebook pages,
and, yeah, if she calls you up, she'll let you know.
Peggy, you misbehave, and you'll get pegged.
No, we don't want to peg anyone.
Why, what does that mean?
No.
Don't Google it at work.
Do you not know?
No, I do know.
Okay, good.
Kate, where is this in the country?
We're in Cambridge.
In Cambridge.
Okay, well, shout-out to Peggy in Cambridge doing the people's work, isn't she?
Someone texted her and said, I was going to the dairy with my kids
and there was a group of preteens.
I saw one of the girls punch a boy in the face.
I saw Red got out of my car and ripped her a new one.
I don't tolerate that.
Carry on.
Fair enough. Fair enough.
Fair enough.
Can you imagine?
That girl would have poo-pooed her pants.
Where were the parents?
Where were the parents?
Where were the parents?
Jackie's here.
Hi, Jackie.
Hi, Jackie.
Hi, happy new year.
Happy new year.
When did you go full Kezza and tell someone off in public?
Well, and my kids probably called me Karen for doing that, but I was on the sideline
of the sports field and this guy started to push the referee.
So that just got me wrong.
And I went, I said, you need to stop it right now.
Put on my mummy voice and told him off.
Good on you, Jackie.
Jackie, give us a reenactment, right?
Let's hear the mummy voice that you said that kid's way.
I just said, I said, enough.
You need to walk away now and calm down.
You need to just get off the pitch.
And I like pushed him backwards and literally took him off the field. That was solid from you, enough. You need to walk away now and calm down. You need to just get off the pitch. And I, like, pushed him backwards and literally took him off the field.
That was solid from you, Jackie.
I would have went straight up and did exactly what you said.
Yeah.
I would have been like, oh, no.
Fair enough, too.
You don't touch the ref.
Hell no.
Exactly.
And you don't let the kids see that somebody could do that to the ref as well.
It's not acceptable.
It's not acceptable.
It's not acceptable. You can not acceptable. It's not acceptable.
You can get banned for life.
Thanks, Jackie.
Happy New Year, mate.
I appreciate it.
Thanks, Jackie.
I like how she's like, I turned my mum voice on.
Yeah.
It's powerful.
It is powerful.
It's a powerful tool.
The amount of times that I heard my mum from the sideline when I was playing soccer, where
she'd go full crazy mum, and she'd be like, get off of there!
Like, mum, I don't even have the ball.
Bree and Clint.
Time for a birthday banger.
Bree and Clint.
All I want for my birthday is a birthday banger.
Here we go, birthday banger time.
We call us up, you tell us what your birthday is
and we figure out what was the number one song when you had your sweet 16.
Let's go to Brooke first.
I know $800 is at him.
Hi, Brooke.
G'day, Brooke.
Hi, how's it going?
Good.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year to you too.
How was your holiday?
Did you get any time off?
Yes, I was in between jobs over the holidays,
so I just started on the 3rd of January.
Oh, that's early.
Early start.
It's a good time to start.
There's bugger all people around.
What's your new job?
What do you do?
Inventory, a vet clerk.
Oh, okay.
Oh, very important job.
A lot of...
She's in charge of the ketamine.
Make sure everything's well set, son.
Good friend to have you are, Brooke.
Good friend to have. What's Brooke. Good friend to have.
What's your birthday, mate?
I believe she said 11th of December, 1999.
So that means she was 16 in 2015.
And, Brooke, on your 16th birthday, this was number one.
Adele, obviously, the goat. It's Adele, obviously, The Goat.
It's Adele.
Are you into it, Brooke, for your birthday banger?
Oh.
Oh, we're just losing Brooke there.
But I feel like her vibe was, oh, yeah, it's not bad.
It's not bad.
I'll take it.
I'll take it.
That song was one of Adele's biggest.
Let's go to Bevan for a birthday banger.
Hey, Bevan.
G'day, Bev.
No, not another dodgy line.
Bevan, are you there?
Yeah.
Oh, there you are.
Oh, there's Bev.
How was your New Year's, Bevan?
Oh, it was good.
It was good.
It was awesome years.
I worked right through.
So, a bit of buggy.
Oh, good on you, Bev.
Good on you. What's your birthday, mate, a bit of buggy. Oh, good on you, Bev. Good on you.
What's your birthday, mate?
Twice a March, 2000.
All right.
That means you were 16 in 2016.
And let me take you back to your 16th with this one.
That's not true.
Bevan worked all the way through the holidays. Fifth Harmony and work from home. Are you into it, Bevan worked all the way through the holidays.
Fifth Harmony and Work From Home.
Are you into it, Bevan?
Oh, of course.
Of course.
That song does things to my hips.
I can't control it.
R.I.P. Fifth Harmony.
That broken up, eh?
Well, Camilla Cabello went off and then some of the other ones.
That broken up. ones stayed together.
Okay, moving on.
Let's do one more for Tracey.
G'day, Trace.
Hello, how are you?
Good, mate.
What did you get up to for New Year's?
Yeah, not a lot.
I'm a bit older than the others, so I was in bed asleep.
Mate, good place to be, isn't it?
Yeah, definitely. Get past the hype and just realise, you know, in bed's where it's at.
Hey, Trace, what's your birthday?
22nd of the 10th, 68.
Alright, that means you were 16 in
1984.
Let's take
you back there, Trace.
It's a bit of wham for you, Tracy.
Wham.
Wham.
That wham doco on Netflix is really worth a watch
if you're looking for something.
It's really good.
It's very good, eh?
You get an insight as to how much of a genius George Michael was.
Yeah, I knew nothing about wham except for
ba-doo-doo-da-bug, that song.
About last Christmas. Well, and that. And that. He did some good stuff. I'll say. Yeah, I knew nothing about Wham! Work From Home. Oh, yeah, same. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. You know me. I always go for the Work From Home.
Bevan, you're the winner of Birthday Bang.
Congratulations.
He's putting his steel caps on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Put those steel caps on, Bev.
Bree and Clint.
All right.
Bree and Clint.
Fifth Harmony and Ty Dullesign. Bree and Clint. Fifth Harmony.
And Ty Dullesign.
Work From Home.
The winner of Birthday Banger from 2016.
2016.
Yeah.
Makes me want to get out my angle grinder.
With the flame cannon. Yeah.
And your cut off denim shorts.
Yeah, and just, you know, make some...
Cut the bottom of your singlet off.
Make some sparks fly. Let your boobies hang out the bottom of the singlet. No, you took off denim shorts. Yeah, and just, you know, make some... Cut the bottom of your singlet off. Make some sparks fly.
Let your boobies hang out the bottom of the singlet.
No, you took it too far.
Isn't that what...
No, you took it too far.
Okay.
I saw this video over the break about this guy who I believe has had,
I reckon, the most embarrassing first, like,
sleepover experience with a girl that I've ever heard.
Okay.
And I reckon it's more embarrassing than that time you went home with somebody
and washed yourself with medicated dog shampoo.
You can't just fling that story out in the open
and now people are like, what?
Well, it's on TikTok, that story.
You can look it up.
Search Bree dog shampoo.
Look, I went home with someone.
It was very hot at the time and it was a first meeting event
and I said to the person, can I have a shower?
Very considerate.
And they said, absolutely, I'm going to do the same.
You go use the main bathroom, I'll use the en suite.
All good.
Went into the bathroom.
I was, look, I was a little bit intoxicated
and I was like, I need some body wash to wash myself. And so I was looking around and it
was a bloody shub and I was in the shub and I was like, okay, here's the only bottle sitting
on the side of the shub. Picked it up, washed myself. I did at the time think, God, it's
got an interesting smell. As I've walked back into the room, you know, to get freaky,
the person looked at me and goes,
oh, you didn't use that bottle that's sitting on the side of the shop.
And I said, nah.
And they said, oh, because that's medicated dog shampoo for my dog's mange.
Not sexy, can I say.
There's no coming back from that.
Bree defleated her downstairs.
I don't even have any hair down there.
I'm bald.
It didn't do anything.
It's good we can get a fresh video out of that story now.
Oh, jeez.
Go back up on the internet.
Yeah, you're all caught up, everyone.
Count it.
Good news.
I reckon this one's worse.
You reckon it's worse than that?
It's pretty bad.
This is a story shared by someone on TikTok.
Their name is Jordan.
Have a listen to what happened to Jordan
when he went home with a girl for the first time.
Put a finger down if you went out the other night
and you got with someone and you went back to her house
and she suggested the two of you jump in the shower
for a little shower hoo-ha.
You thought, why not?
Went in Rome, hey? So you get in the shower for a little shower hoo-ha. I thought, why not? When in Rome, hey?
So you get in the shower and no more than 30 seconds later, you hit the deck pretty
hard in excruciating pain, clutching at your knee and you're screaming pretty loudly, loud
enough for the rest of the house, all the housemates to come down and have a look at
what all the fuss is about, only to find a random naked guy in the fetal position on their shower deck almost crying
and, you know, there's a lot of water coming down
so there's a bit of shrinkage happening
and you can just hear them laughing and you're thinking,
oh, God, get me to the hospital so they can fix my damaged knee
and my damaged ego right now.
But, you know, positive thoughts.
How did... Wait, I missed it.
How did he damage his knee?
He slept and he's done like his ACL.
He's popped his knee out of the joint so much so that he couldn't even stand up again
and he's writhing around in pain but naked on the floor of the shower of the girl
that he was about to make love to.
I think when you're naked, because you're so vulnerable,
it doesn't matter what situation or what is happening.
It makes it twice, maybe three times more embarrassing.
And four, maybe five times more embarrassing
when there's strangers involved.
That's my worst nightmare.
I don't want people, like, if you hear me screaming in the bathroom,
leave me.
Leave me.
Talk through the door.
Talk through the door.
Talk underneath the door.
Don't come in.
The only people that are allowed to come in is the fire service
or the ambulance driver.
That's it.
No one else.
I wonder if we can top it this afternoon.
Can you top that guy naked on the floor with a busted knee
or Bree in the dog shampoo?
Can't get worse than that.
Can't get worse than that, surely.
We're looking for the most embarrassing first hookup stories.
Yeah, when did you...
The first time you guys went home together.
The first sleepover.
The first sleepover.
And what?
And the worst happened.
Remember the waffle stomp story? Oh,
yes. I don't want to relive that
one. That one's disgusting. If you
know, you know. You can figure it out.
Yeah.
We're talking about embarrassing
first hookups. You know, when
you go home with somebody for the first time and
the worst thing
possible happens. You're very vulnerable the first time,
especially if it's not your home.
Like you're going into someone else's space.
You don't know if they've got enough pillows or a bottom sheet.
We just told a story.
We listened to a story from a guy called Jordan
who went home with a girl and she was like,
oh, we should have a cheeky shower before we...
You know I'm the biggest advocate for no shower sexy times.
Yeah, I think the shower was like a...
Unless you have the shower for it.
Yeah.
Which is rare.
Because it's dangerous.
I don't even think they wanted to do the deed in the shower.
I think it was like, let's have a shower together.
I speak from experience because I broke off a soap holder once,
using it for some leverage, you know?
Yeah, I know what you mean about the right shower then, yeah.
Yeah, cut my foot open.
Something with a step.
Exactly.
He didn't even make it that far.
He got into the shower box, slipped over straight away,
put his knee out, I think he did his ACL,
and then writhed around in the fetal position naked,
crying while all the flatmates came in and they were like,
who is this guy?
Who's this naked guy?
That's so embarrassing.
We want to know, can you top it?
Do you have a worse story than that?
There's a lot of texts coming through.
Some that can be read out on radio.
Others that can't.
But we appreciate those stories just for us.
Someone said, hey, hey guys i took a guy
home for the first time and he left skid marks all over my duvet disgusting as safe to say
i asked him to leave where was he sticking the duvet and never saw him again yes why on the
oh just so many questions someone else said after a, after a sleepover, the guy had to leave early to pick up his kids.
He told me to let myself out, but he forgot to tell me that his toilet door was broken.
I got out of bed and went to the loo in my underwear and got locked in there.
No windows to climb out.
And I was in there two hours
after he came
back with his kids.
Oh, how embarrassing. She was in there for two
hours. And there's no
window. She couldn't even ventilate it while she was
in there. Not bad. Someone
said I had a cheeky wee tinder hook up
and mid indoor gardening he
fell onto my shoulder and started
sobbing. Oh no. After a minute he recovered and said I'm sorry., he fell onto my shoulder and started sobbing. Oh, no.
After a minute, he recovered and said,
I'm sorry, I broke up with my ex a week ago,
and I thought this would make me feel better.
Shocker, it didn't.
That's so awkward.
This person wants to remain anonymous, understandably.
Hi, Anonymous.
Hi, Anonymous.
Hello.
Hi.
Tell us.
What was the awkward, embarrassing first hookup situation?
So this was many years ago now, back in my uni days,
but I went in the first night with this guy that I'd been talking to, and in the morning, he rolled over to go and give me a cuddle
and his shoulder dislocated in front of my eyes,
in front of my face
and I was trapped under his arm for quite some time.
He couldn't get it popped back in.
Oh my God.
Yeah, he was crying.
I was lying there trapped
He was crying
Yeah well obviously painful
Yeah
And I had to call out help
To a flatmate
And yeah his flatmate came in
Didn't know I was there
And he ended up having to call an ambulance.
Oh, my God.
I just picture you anonymous laying there just being like,
you pinned me.
I can't get up.
I have to know, is that a story that you guys went on to tell later
at your wedding together?
Or was that kind of the beginning and end of the relationship there?
Well, certainly not.
We stayed friends, but we laughed about it.
I did actually sit next to his grandmother
while that story was told at his 21st.
That's amazing.
So good, Anonymous.
It's funny to look back.
It's funny now.
Definitely not funny at the time.
Thanks, Anonymous.
I need to read out some of these.
They're so good. Someone said, I went homeonymous. I need to read out some of these. They're so good.
Someone said, I went home with the hottest guy I've ever met last year
and I was so drunk I fell asleep on his toilet.
He found me asleep with my jeans around my ankles.
Needless to say, I never heard from him again.
Oh, you'd be so gutted because you're right there.
You were so close.
You were so close. The hottest person.
You were so close.
The hottest person you've ever gone home with.
I'd be so filthy with myself.
I'd be so angry.
One more from the text machine.
They said, I went home with a guy after many bevvies
and I assumed that he lived alone as he was in his mid-30s.
I got up and went for a nude walk to the bathroom.
I met his
mother in the hallway,
who was on her way to tell us to be
quiet. I was
completely naked.
Safe to say, I didn't go
back.
As mum.
Can you imagine?
And you'd been so noisy because you thought the house was...
Oh, man.
One more anonymous caller.
Hi, anonymous.
Hi, anonymous.
Hi, is that me?
Yeah, that's you.
These have been so good.
Are you the one that got locked in the toilet, anonymous?
That's me, yeah.
Is it?
Oh, no.
Yeah, yeah.
So I'd gone home for a sleepover
and in the morning he said,
hey, I've actually got to get up and go and pick up my kids.
I'll be back in a couple of hours,
just make sure you're gone before I get back,
but let yourself out.
And I was like, yep, sweet as.
I was like in my underwear, got up, went to the loo and shut the door
and then went to leave and the door was completely locked.
I could not get out.
It was one of those internal bathrooms with no windows.
Oh, no.
It was the middle of winter and I was really cold
and I just had to kind of curl up on the bath mat for two hours.
And when he came home, he kind of, I can't remember,
I think my car might have been there and he walked in and he goes,
like he didn't even open the toilet, but he just walked into his bedroom and went,
I forgot to tell you about the locked door, didn't I?
No!
And me on the other side was like, yeah.
Poor naked shivering woman on the other side.
You met his kids after that.
They were there.
What age?
What age do you reckon the kids were?
They were like five and eight.
Oh, they had no idea.
They didn't know what was going on.
The only thing that would make that story worse was when you went
originally in to use the loo.
Was it ones or twos?
It was ones.
It was ones.
Thank God.
But she was in there so long that she needed to do twos as well.
So then the twos came after.
Bree and Clint.
I love this time of year because I'm a big tennis fan.
I got out to the ASB Classic quite a few times.
Such a good event.
And then, obviously, it's followed by the Aussie Open,
which is one of the Grand Slams.
So I've been watching a lot of tennis and I absolutely fizz for it,
usually a lot of late nights.
And I was laying in bed last night and I was watching the tennis
and I thought to myself, I feel like there's a game that I can come up with that's
very...
Tennessee?
Tennessee.
Yeah.
But probably not what you think it's going to be.
Okay.
Do you think you know?
No.
Do I have to make noises like a tennis player?
No.
No?
Okay.
Off the back of watching the tennis, I have come up with a new game that we are
calling Grunt
or Groan.
Let's go down to the tennis court
and talk it up like yeah.
Is this
a grunt from a tennis
player or is it a groan
from an
adult film? Oh,
that kind of groan. Okay.
Producer Claudia has been working hard on the tools.
Oh, I shouldn't have said that.
And finding some audio clips where you and I are going to decide
if it's a grunt from a tennis player or a groan from an adult film.
Have you been sourcing footage from adult films?
Yeah, FITC, what my phone has been up to today.
It better be a good game then.
Pure partner looks at your search history.
No, don't worry.
We're incognito.
We're fine.
We'd love you to play along if you're listening.
See if you can pick the differences.
Claudia, when you're ready, you take it over.
You are in charge.
All right.
Don't let the sound effects distract you.
They all have tennis sound effects.
Okay.
So it makes it a little bit harder.
I like it.
I think if we team up, I reckon we're the perfect team because you watch a lot of tennis
and I watch a lot of...
True.
Okay.
Tennis.
Okay.
So this is either...
Tennis porn.
Tennis porn.
This is either a real tennis noise or an adult film noise.
You can buzz in with your name, I guess.
Okay.
And you can both have a guess.
Okay.
Here's the first one.
Bray.
Bray.
Can I hear it one more time?
That's a tennis player.
Clint, would you concur?
Nah, that's not a tennis player.
Oh, okay.
Oh, we've gone opposites.
Okay, I like it.
That is a tennis player. Yeah, I like it. That is a tennis player.
Yeah!
I knew it.
Still doesn't sound like a tennis player to me.
Okay, yeah, yeah, cool.
Okay, here's another one.
I think we just, each one, because, I mean, we're workshopping this game.
We just each pick.
Yeah.
So we don't have to buzz in.
Okay, yeah, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure.
Okay, here's another one.
That's not a tennis player.
That's an adult film.
Although I did hear some of those sounds at the tennis this year.
There's some that are very like, especially when they're really tired
and they're like lunging for it.
It's like, oh.
That's what makes this game so fun.
And now when you.
Nah, that's an adult film.
That's an adult film.
Okay, both saying adult film.
Actually, one more time.
Oh, nah, nah, that's an adult film.
Adult film, adult film.
Locking it in?
Yeah, lock it in.
Yeah, that's an adult film.
Oh, I knew it.
Knew it.
Sounds fun.
You guys are good at this.
I like how you put the tennis sounds in there,
so it makes it harder.
Yeah, it was way too obvious otherwise.
Okay, here's another one.
Tennis player all over, no doubt in my mind.
Tennis player.
Tennis player, I agree.
One more time, one more time.
The warm-up.
It's the...
Luckily for us, that is a tennis player.
Yes!
Because that would be concerning if it wasn't.
Very aggressive otherwise.
Okay, let's go again.
One more time.
Nah, that's not tennis.
That's not tennis.
One more time.
Yeah, I'm going to say adult film.
Okay, you're both looking at adult films?
Yeah.
That one is tennis.
You perverts.
You got any more?
Yeah, you want to do some more?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Can't believe it. Yeah. God, Bob.
That one's definitely porn.
That's Maria Sharapova.
That's an adult film.
Yeah, that one is an adult film.
Oh, my God.
And one more.
These are all women.
I was going to say, they're all women, Claudia.
My priority, okay?
Yeah, I was going to say, they're all women, Claudia. My priority, okay? Yeah, I was going to say, we know what you're into.
We know who your favourite tennis player is, Anna Kournikova.
Tennis, tennis, all over, tennis.
Please stop.
Please.
Tennis player.
Tennis player, tennis player.
That is a tennis player.
There we go.
Come on!
Come on!
I really, can you imagine if a tennis player just one time decided to troll all of us?
And they line up a shot.
They're like, oh yeah!
Has everybody seen the 75 hard challenge that people are posting about on social media at the moment?
I have seen it doing the rounds for a while, yes. Me too, me too.
And I love a fitness fad and a diet fad.
You know, I love the idea that this might be the thing
that finally, finally tips me into the bracket of ripped and...
None of them are going to work long term.
I know, but I like to dream.
This is the thing i know um but it's
interesting because so many people are doing it so it's like is it something that is worthwhile
or is it like the lemon detox diet and it's dangerous and stupid 75 just seems like a long
time yeah like it's it's um a third of the year. Oh, is it? Is that right?
No. I just threw that out there
just to see. No, it's not at all.
Is it close?
No, a third of the year would be 120 days.
121
and a half days.
A third. Anyway. Yeah, yeah, you're
right. No, you're right. That's not your strong suit.
That's okay. No, it's not my strong suit.
Do you want to know what it is, the challenge?
Yes.
The 75 hard challenge.
It's where you just go hard for 75 days on diet, exercise and fitness.
Yeah, it is.
But there's five challenges that you have to do every day.
Oh, gotcha.
Okay.
And you're right.
You do it for 75 days every day for 75 days.
Yes, no break.
And here's what you have to do every single day.
You have to exercise every single day.
You have to exercise twice for 45 minutes each time.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Are you out on challenge one?
You have to do two lots of 45 minutes in one day.
Oh, nah, that's too much.
So if you're an F45 person, you'd have to go to two classes. That's called doing doubles at F45 where you go in the morning.
They have too much.
It says it doesn't matter what the exercise is,
but one of them must be outdoors.
So one of them could be going for a 45-minute walk.
Okay.
Well, I kind of do do that already.
You have to drink four litres of water.
I've got a few litres to go.
Four litres?
How much do you reckon one of these glasses is?
That's a pint glass.
That's 500 mils.
So you have to drink eight of those.
Oh, yeah.
I'll be peeing so much.
You'd just be constantly in the toilet.
Yeah.
I'd have to change my undies halfway through the day.
You would feel very, you know, like flushed.
Yeah.
Like you do.
You would.
It's a lot.
There's a second challenge.
The third one of five.
You need to pick a diet or eating plan and stick to it.
You don't have to count calories, but you can't have chocolate.
You can't have things like cakes and muffins and stuff.
It's all the good stuff.
You can't have soft drink and you can have no alcohol at all for 75 days.
I say, oh, that wouldn't be that hard for me because I'm not really
a more social
drinker, not an everyday
have one beer at dinner.
But it would be hard. For almost
three months? That's a long time.
People doing dry January,
go away. Honestly,
I've had enough of you. Such a weird month
to choose. Such a shit month to pick.
Go back to July.
Okay, we're only at three.
There's two more things you need to do.
Jesus, this is so much.
The 75 hard challenge.
You have to do this for 75 days in a row.
And this might be the hardest one for you.
Really?
You have to read a minimum of 10 pages of a book every day.
I'm out.
About growth mindset or self-help
or something to enrich your mind over this.
This is no Fifty Shades of Grey type books.
Is watching Netflix like a documentary?
Like a David Attenborough?
No, you have to read.
You have to read 10 pages a day.
What if it's like a documentary on philosophy?
And the last thing in the 75 hard challenge
that you have to do every day for 75 days
is take one progress photo of yourself in the mirror.
Take your top off, stand there in your undies, take a photo of how your body.
Imagine if those photos got out.
That's what I always think.
Because back in the day, like, do you always, there we go, inside into Clint's mind.
I always think about, like, when I was in my 20s,
because I took a lot of before photos.
I was going to say, I've got so many before photos.
There's no after photos.
Like, it's fine.
You think about this, right?
I've got nothing but before photos.
You think about it.
It's so fine when they come as a pair.
I would never in my life post the before photo without the after photo.
Ever.
I am the before photo and the after photo.
Bree and Clint.
Newish.
Yeah, newish.
It's like when you buy a house that's been renovated
Newish
It's not a new house but it's new to you
Feels new doesn't it
Oh not always
Yeah true that house you've got doesn't feel very new
Nah it feels like someone died in it
Alright let's get out of here
I'm on bachelor week
My whole family is away at the beach
What are you eating at the moment on bachelor week
So I'm going to the supermarket to get myself a Bachelor dinner on the way home.
Yeah, what are you getting?
I was going to get steak, a piece of steak.
Okay.
For the barbecue.
Yeah.
And some asparagus.
Yeah.
For the barbecue.
Yeah.
And then some capsicum for the barbecue, to cook on the barbecue.
Meat and two veg?
Yeah.
Yeah, easy.
Oh, it's meant to be meat and three veg, eh?
Oh, I'd say sometimes you can go two.
Maybe I'll just have extra asparagus.
Why complicate it?
The main thing is I'm going to cook it on the barbecue.
Because I can.
Because I'm a man and I'm on bitch for a week.
You know, it's summer.
I've got to get that barbecue out.
Make good use of it.
Yeah, I ate the last of the leftovers yesterday, so I'm on my own now.
Mate, you should just get a few bloody corns with the cob and you just leave them in the husks.
Yes.
And you throw them straight on the barbie.
Oh, that's what I do.
There's my third veg.
Yeah.
Brilliant.
Thank you for that.
Back it on.
Have a great night, everybody.
We'll catch you back tomorrow.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
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