ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast - 18th April 2023

Episode Date: April 18, 2023

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The ZM Podcast Network. Hi everybody, welcome to the Brianne Clint Podcast where, gosh, I'm so angry. Why? Oh, about the thing. What happened to the thing? I've recently got into a podcast in a really big way and it's done by these two comedians. They're both American and both, did I say they're comedians? They're comedians.

Did I say they do a podcast? They do a podcast. What do they do? And I'm like, man, I would love to see these guys live doing comedy. Yeah. But they're American. And I'm like, oh, when will I get the chance? I don't know.

I literally Googled last week if either of them were coming to the country. But I must be shit at Googling because I just saw on Facebook that one of them performed in Auckland literally last night. And I had no idea. Didn't come up on Viragogo? No, didn't come up on Viragogo. Boo. Didn't come up anywhere. That's so annoying.

I'm so pissed off. Like, I'm so pissed off about it. That happened to me literally at the start of this year. And my partner was so angry at me because we'd just watched RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars All Winners. Yeah. And so there's one queen that won the whole thing. No spoilers. No spoilers.

But we have watched her on multiple seasons, so we've loved her for ages and we were like, oh, my God, we're obsessed with her. Like she's like we're never going to get to see her live, ram, ram, ram, whatever. And then all of a sudden my partner messaged me and was like uh did you know such and such was in town last night literally like two days after two days after nobody comes to new zealand literally i was like what the fuck yeah i was so angry and like she ain't coming back here for years.

There's one way we can rectify not your situation but my situation. Claudia, is there any reason that you can think of that the show should broadcast from Wellington tomorrow? Because there's another show in Wellington tomorrow night. I mean. You could go. There's surely something. It's not in the budget. In your budget? Yeah.

It is a bit excessive. But I mean... See people. Yeah, like, do we need to... Have a look at clients. Is there like a make-a-wish kid whose dream is to meet Greg Flint? Oh my God. Because I'll meet that kid.

Too far. I will make that kid. Too far. Clint. I will make that kid's dream come true if it means I can go to the comedy show. I'm looking up how much flights would be. Disneyland, Clint Roberts. Yeah, set your dreams a little bit higher, kid. So make a wish. You can have whatever you want.

You could meet Richie McCaw. Or Clint Roberts. And Brie. And Brie from Triggeraw. Or Clint Roberts. And Brie. And Brie from Trigger Island. You said it. Okay. You'd fly back on the Thursday. Let's have a look.

Oh, the 1975 are performing down there tomorrow night. Oh, we need to go and interview the 1975. Yeah, we should meet them. Okay. So, look, do you want the good news or the bad news? I want the good news. Okay. No, I'll give you the bad news first.

There's no good news, is there? Okay, I'll give you the good news. Okay. The flight to Wellington from Auckland tomorrow, you could get on the, I mean, you'd have to get on this flight. I mean, the cheapest flight's $250. Return. That's the good news.

The flight home is going to set you back about $400. Hitchhike. So. Jeez. That's crazy. That's like an hour in the sky, right? Yeah. And, yeah.

How many bloody cookie time cookies are they giving out to charge that amount? Exactly right. I feel like you should get the number of cookies relative to how much your flight costs. Because sometimes those flights are $100. That seems excessive. If it's $400, you should get to take a bag of cookies. And I know that we're looking and it's literally the day before. Is that guy on your screen the guy that you wanted to see?

Yeah, it is. Because I was literally looking at it on here being like, oh, we could go see this weird guy named Bert Kreischer. Bert Kreischer, yeah. Bert Kreischer. I was like, don't excuse me. We'll go see this wrestler. Who the hell is Bert Kreischer?

He does look like a wrestler. You're right. Yeah. I'm sorry, Clint. That sucks. You know, I just, you know, just, you know. Message him. Yeah, right? Yeah. Yo, we'd love to go in there and get Brita messages. She's got more followers. I'm sorry Clint That sucks You know I just You know Message him Yeah right

Yo Yo Get rid of messages She's got more followers You've got a huge podcast We've got a podcast We should link up We're in the same industry

We should do a crossover episode By the way I need you to fly me To Wellington To be on my podcast Who's his Touring people Yeah what's his name

Burt Kreischer Burt Kreischer Is Burt Kreischer. Is he with Live Nation or? No, because Live Nation is the website that I checked for tickets. Oh. Oh.

Anyway, it's a shitty pipe dream. It's not going to happen. Don't worry about it, everybody. I'm so sorry, Clint. Do some better research next time. What are the odds? What are the odds? This keeps happening, though.

I know. It's serendipity in the extreme. I feel like it's because Viragogo fucks everything up. That's probably what it is. I'm so fucking sick of people like that. You know what I'm sick of? I'm sick of people that scam other people. Can you just fuck off?

Did you get scammed? No, but people creating fake profiles of my Facebook page and trying to scam other people. Did I tell you guys I won a sham voucher on Instagram? Like people creating fake profiles of my Facebook page and trying to scam other people. Did I tell you guys I won a Shein voucher on Instagram? Congratulations, Gloria. I won about 16 of them. Did you really? Literally.

We've all won, actually. What are the odds? I was blocking three people in like every day for the past week. God, I'm just so like, go do something. Like with your life. Get a life. Anything. Stop like taking from the poor and giving to yourself.

Oh, my friend who went to the show that I was talking about, the reason I knew it was on because he posted it on Facebook. He's saying we shit? He just messaged me and he said, bro, it was so good. Oh, no. Oh, that's mean of him. Oh, he's double stressed it. Bro, it was so good, bro.

Oh, no. Bro. He reckons he'll come back, bro. Oh, no. Bro. He reckons he'll come back next year. Oh, there you go. Okay. Of course, they all say that. Does he have any Aussie dates? It's good marketing. Yeah, he's got Aussie dates next week. You should go. It might be cheaper to go to Australia. Yeah, honestly.

I mean, it's no Taylor Swift. I probably wouldn't make the effort. You know what? Hey, Ben. Wait, you mean you wouldn't make the effort for Bert Kreischer? He's not on your bucket list? Maybe he's your Taylor Swift, so then that's relevant, you know? Gutted. All right.

Anyway, anything else to bring up or should we get the hell out of here? I want to go home and see my parents. I've changed my mind. I've got some people to scam. Got to go. Fuck you, Claudia. I got some Make-A-Wish kids to message to say they want to make me. Okay, you're talking too far. I'm coming in. Gotta go. Fuck you, Claudia. I got some make-a-wish kids to message to say they want to make me. Okay, you talk it too far. I'm coming in. Well, howdy, pilgrim.

Good afternoon, everybody. Welcome to the Bree and Clint show. G'day guys, happy Tuesday. How we going? Bree's just paid a visit to the vending machine, what did you go with? Cashews. Cashews? Yeah, I'm rich. Salted? I feel like unsalted nuts are not my bag.

I'm in the middle of enjoying some unsalted, unroasted almonds. I feel like unsalted nuts are what they would serve on the plane ride to hell. It's a joyless way to eat your nuts. It is the worst way to eat your nuts. Just give yourself the little tiny pleasure of having the salted ones. Roasted? I don't mind. As long as they're salted.

Yeah. I'm not complaining. You can have a salty raw dog. Like, have you ever had an unsalted pistachio? Not great. I thought pistachios were naturally salty. I think they are, but then I like them a little... I don't think you salt a pistachio.

I think that's their natural taste, isn't it? I don't think so. Pistachios. Bring Ella in on this chat. I'm pretty sure they are salted. taste, isn't it? I don't think so. There's star sheos. Bring Ella in on this chat. I'm pretty sure they are salted. Ella, are nuts vegan? What? Yeah, are nuts vegan? Yes.

Okay. How are they? Okay, well, how many do you eat? Do you eat a lot of nuts? Yeah, I love nuts. Star sheos definitely are salted, yeah. Are they? Yeah.

Have you ever had an unsalted one? That'll be why they're so salty. Yeah, probably. And then that gets into all the nooks and crannies. Oh, I love sucking on the shell. Yum, yum, yum. Take me back. I can just do a bowl of shells and just suck on them.

Nah, see, now you're losing your mind. Okay. Yeah. The nut is the piece de resistance. That's why you fight so hard to get in there. Yeah, okay. Yeah, good point. It's cheating when you get a pre-shucked pistachio, isn't it?

When you don't have to do any other work. No, I don't mind that. Such a little reward though once you finally get into that pistachio. Tiny little nut. You know, sometimes I just get to the bottom of the bag and find all the ones that have... All the escapees.

That have escaped and then you just feast. Yeah. Yeah, what is the best nut? Pistachio would be up there. Such a great question. I reckon cashews are the king of nuts. Oh, pistachio is up there for me. Cashews definitely out there.

Yeah. It's taken me a long time to appreciate a walnut. Walnuts are average. Yeah. Let's be real. They're weird looking. Good for you though. Taste weird, don't care.

Good for your brain. All nuts are like a pine nut in like a salad or like food. Delish. Maybe that's the topic of today's show. Let's find the greatest nut. Or not. Or we can talk about something interesting.

We've got the 50k cash combo coming up in our show today. Someone will win $1,000. See? Clint's coughing. That's because it's unsalted. You don't want an unsalted nut. They get stuck in your throat. My almond's repeating on me.

When you hear those artists, which include Harry Styles, get through on 0800DIALS.M. You can have $1,000 and the upgrade as well. You sure can. Up next on the show, we're going to kick it off with Tradie versus Lady. $50 cash on the line for one of you. If you can call now 0800-DIAL-ZM, then I suggest you do.

We can guarantee at least one nut-based question in today's game of Tradie versus Lady. Okay. Bree and Clint. Bree and Clint. Tradie versus Lady. Before that, though, we've got to do this. This is Tradie versus Lady.

The Lady's in front on 33 wins for the year. The Tradie's not far behind on 30. Our Lady calls us today from the great city of Hamilton. She is 21 years old, and she skydived for her 21st birthday a couple of weeks ago. Welcome to the show, Ella. G'day, Ella. Hi, how's it going? Good, thanks.

How was the experience skydiving out of 10? 11. Wow. You already got a great view of Hamilton. I did it in Poplar. Ah, good. Oh, even better. Way better.

Yeah, highly recommend. Yeah, I love it. You're taking on our tradies today. They're 19 and from Dunedin, and they once drove to Invercargill just to get a milkshake. Welcome to the show, Oliver. I salute you, Oliver. That is commitment.

Why did you drive so far? Was the milkshake that good? No, the milkshake was horrible. It was milky. It was like they used the old light green bloody milk. So why did you drive so far? So why did you go so far? Do they not have milkshakes in Dunedin?

Yeah, I thought I'd try something different, you know, spice it up. Yeah, right. Yeah, fair enough. It's boring too, so yeah. Well, that I thought I'd try something different, you know, spice it up. Yeah, right. Yeah, fair enough. It's boring too, so yeah. Well, that'll teach you to try something different, won't it? Yeah, I reckon. I reckon. That might stick to the old hometown from now on.

Good man. I drove eight hours once to go to the last Sizzler in Australia. Wasn't worth it? No, it's never worth it. Wasn't worth it, no. It's never worth it. Okay, Ollie, your buzzer is tradie. Ella, yours is lady. It's never worth it. It wasn't worth it. It's never worth it. Okay, Ollie, your buzzer is tradie.

Ella, yours is lady. First to three correct answers is going to get $50 cash from our friends at KFC. Good luck. Here we go, guys. Question number one. What is the largest planet in the solar system? Is it Mars? Tradie.

Yes. Oliver, already in? Jupiter. Nice, Ollie. Well done. It is Jupiter. Very well done. One to the tradies. Question, Ollie. Well done. It is Jupiter. Very well done. One to the tradies.

Question number two. Where do peanuts grow? On a tree, on a bush, or on a vine in the ground? Yes, Ella. Tree. That's incorrect. Tradie. Yes, Oliver.

On a bush. Yeah, well done. They do grow on a bush. Two to the tradies. You need this one here, Ella, to stay in it. Question number three. What is the name of the massive music festival that took place over the weekend? Yes, Ella?

Coachella. Oh, she's kept herself in it. Nice work. One to the ladies, two to the tradies. Question number four. Buzz in, guys, when you can tell me who sings this song. I'm so fancy. You already know. Oliver.

Iggy Azalea. He's got it. Well done. Woo! He's a working man. It's an age. Gas money to get you halfway to Invercargill for another milkshake. Congratulations, Oliver.

Ollie's like, nah, been there, done that. Never again. Nice work, Ollie. Very well done. 50 bucks coming your way. Buddy, cheers. All good. Hey, I went to support the Mighty Warriors on Saturday night.

It's our year and it was a sold out crowd. Did you know that? Yeah, I did hear that. Yeah, amazing. Were you really there to support the Warriors, or were you there to support the North Queensland Cowboys? I was there to support the Warriors. Our boys, my parents, weren't stoked.

Right, because they are Queenslanders. They are. They were supporting the Cowboys. Yeah. And, God, it felt good when we won. Yeah. Just to throw it in their face. Yeah, suck on that, mum and dad. But it was good when we won. Yeah. Stick it to your parents. Throw it in their face. Yeah, suck on that mum and dad.

But it was such a good game. The Warriors played amazing. But there was one thing that was happening off to the left of us where we were sitting that I couldn't help but notice. Before you tell me, whatever it is, I believe you. Because the people watching at a warriors game is like no other sport like people show up special fans and they go hard for the warriors they do so whatever you say this person did i believe and uh look it was uh he was a big warriors fan he i noticed early

in the game he was the person you know how there's always kind of someone near you in the crowd that's yelling out things and a lot of the time it's funny stuff and people are laughing. That was this guy early on in the match. And I thought this guy's here for a good time. Might not be a long time, could get kicked out. But he was having a great time with him and his mates and he was having a few drinks.

And then this was after halftime and I noticed there was some commotion going on where him and his mates were. And I was like, what's happening down there? So, you know, at the Warriors Stadium, at Mount Smart Stadium, the seats fold back when you're not sitting on them. Yeah. And then you push down the bottom part of the seat to sit on it. Yeah. pushed down the bottom part of the seat to sit on it. Somehow this guy had gotten his entire foot wedged into the back of the seat

where it kind of folds up and folds down. How? I think he may have stood up and he was trying to step over the seat. To go up the empty row? Yeah, down to the next seat. So I think it was the seat in front of his. And I'm not joking when I say for about five or ten minutes, a group of people slowly started to gather because they could not get him

out of the seat. And then they were trying. He was quite like he was a decent-sized man. And at one point there was was six men holding this guy up, and they were trying to twist his foot and his ankle out of this seat. I think they just got new seats at Mount Smart as well. I think those are all brand-new seats. Right.

Because they were yellow, and now they're all blue. So they've replaced all the seats. So that would be a strong seat. He's not snapping his way out of it. Yeah, I feel like the seat was quite tight around his ankle And eventually How embarrassing After 10 minutes they got him free

And the whole crowd has just cheered Because obviously everyone around was on the journey with him Yeah And then he celebrated by sculling an entire beer That sounds about right You know, and everyone was happy He was laughing the whole time, by the way. He thought it was hilarious.

Any time you require assistance to get out of something, to get off of something, or to get into something, how embarrassing. Yeah. You know? Yes, Producer Ella, you've got your hand up. I got stuck in a baby swing.

I feel like that would be actually super common. What age? 12. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Maybe 16, just in that teenage year. No, they're two very different numbers. Were you 12 or 16?

Yeah, I agree with Clint. Very different. 12, you're right on the cusp of going, oh, my little sister's doing it. I want to have a two. 16. Too old. 12, 12, you're right on the cusp of going, oh, my little sister's doing it. I want to have a two. Yeah. 16. Too old.

Too old. 12 to 14. Yeah. I feel like I'm lucky now at this point in my life because there's not even a chance that I would even close to fit in that seat. I got my hand stuck in the Sky Tower as a child. Oh, yeah? Do you manage that?

Up on the viewing deck, you know where those glass floors are and the big wraparound glass windows are? There was a piece of glass at a right angle to the window glass. Yeah. And it was like a glass strut or something. And I was like, oh, I'll stick my hand in between that and got it stuck between the window and that thing and had to be helped out of the Sky Tower.

What did they do? Vaseline your hand? No, just a lot of jimmying. Oh yeah? I think maybe the nervous sweat maybe helped the hands in that situation. I had a real habit as a kid of getting my hands stuck in things. I got my hands stuck in an egg beater. Yeah? Yeah. What else? Multiple

fences. I got my hands stuck in wire fences. Why do you put your hand in all these things? I don't know. I had my finger stuck in a glass coke bottle. Oh yeah. That's pretty common. Yeah. I don't think I got myself stuck into anything. I got a whole packet of hubba

bubba stuck in my hair once. And you know why? Because I watched an episode of Mr Bean where he's on the train and there's someone being loud in the carriage that he's in. So he gets the gum from under the seat and puts it in his ears. That's right, yeah. And I'd seen that and decided to do the same thing.

My mum had to literally cut an undercut, cut all this bubble gum out of my hair. Let's ask people, because this is pretty common, whether you're a kid or maybe you're an adult and you've gotten stuck in something, 0800 dial ZM or you can text us on 9696. Where and what did you get stuck in? Where did you get stuck? What did you get stuck?

An hour old where you saw a guy at the Warriors game on the weekend get his foot stuck, you know when the chair folds up, his foot went down in there and then he couldn't get out. I'm keen for some full body stucks. Like I hope we get some like full

wedged in person type stories. I want a head stuck somewhere. You want a head stuck? I want someone stuck in like a McDonald's playground. Yeah I want someone who's put their head through the bars at the zoo and then couldn't get it out. Stuff like that. Well we're throwing it out there so let's see what we get. Meg at the zoo and then couldn't get it out. You know, stuff like that. Well, we're throwing it out there, so let's see what we get.

Meg's here. Hi, Meg. G'day, Meg. Hey, well, I got your head stuck story. Yes, Meg. Brilliant, straight away. All right, hit us with it. Tell us. So I was dubbed the candy apple kid because I had a big head and a little thick body when I was a kid.

They wouldn't give a kid a complex, would it? I got my head stuck in everything, but one time it was a pool fence, tried to sneak in, going head first, and I got stuck with my head inside, body outside. Yes, Meg. Did they ever do that thing where they pry the bars open so you can wriggle your little lollipop head out of there?

Massive, but all we got is just everyone laughing on the home video. I feel like, Meg, your name really is open to the nickname Big Head Meg. Yeah. There goes Meg. She's got a big head. Big Head Meg head Big head Meg Big head Meg Big head Meg

Sorry to trigger you Meg I'm a fellow woman with a large head So you know We find each other I want to bring Meg in and try different hats on her Kelly's here, hi Kelly Hi Kelly Tell us first Kelly

What was the thing that you got stuck? I got stuck between a mattress and a staircase. What, like Ross on Friends? Yeah, basically. It was what it felt like. Oh, yeah. I was trying to... My mum got me a new double bed as a 16-year-old, so I got so excited.

Stunned. I was trying to put it upstairs myself. Okay. Through a corner staircase. Oh my god, literally like Ross with the couch. Yeah, I yelled pivot many a times. Pivot! Pivot, Kelly!

Pivot! So you got pinned in there because you're transporting an entire double bed up the stairs by yourself. How long were you stuck there before someone came to help you? I had to wait till my mum got home which was probably about two hours. Oh my god. Oh my god, Kelly. Did you have any food on you? No, but luckily it wasn't too bad. Who has food on them? Well, one time when I was a kid, I climbed up a cupboard

and the cupboard fell on me and I got stuck under there for two hours and I ended up eating the shell pasta from one of the cards I got my mum for Mother's Day. Desperate times, I guess. It had paint on it. You're like the beer grills of macaroni art. Why I am the way that I am. Jill's here.

Hi, Jill. Hi, Jill. Hello. Tell us, mate, where did you get stuck? Well, it's what I got stuck. I got some beads when I was, God knows how old, really little, and decided to shove them up my nose. Oh, Jo.

For some stupid reasons. Yeah. Went so far up that Mum had to take me over a couple of days and not sleep and watch me, you know. Oh, no. Stop breathing. Took me to five different places, and this one, obviously, finally, I was able to have some special little tiny kids' tweezers

and was able to pull one out. Would it have been up, like, in your brain or something? Yeah, way out past kind of where you can feel them. Oh, your poor mother. Oh, my God. You hear those stories of kids shoving things up their nose and then, like, as an an adult having severe sinus problems. Because no one knew they put it up there.

And then realising. Got a kid with like a 20 cent piece up there. Got a piece of Lego up there. Yeah, right. Oh, Jill. I was about silly and I think I actually did it again, but not as fast. Oh, Jill.

Oh, Jill. I think I must have been testing how far I could actually push them up without having to get them properly pulled out. Yeah, that's how other people normally get in trouble as adults too, Jules. What, sticking things up there? Oh. Yeah, different type of bead. Stop it.

Jane's here. Hi, Jane. Hi, Jane. Hi. Jane, tell us, mate, what was the thing you got stuck? So my brother put his wanger inside of a little CD hole. Inside the little CD hole? Yep.

Like where you put the CD, he put his wanger in the CD player? No, in the hole in the middle of the CD. In an actual CD? Yes. Wow. I'm done, Jane. What age? What age?

Oh, dead. I'm dead. It's not a very big hole. I want to say 11. Can I ask, Jane, what was the CD? Oh, great question. Metallica. He entered Sandman.

Oh, God. And wait, wait, wait, wait. So what happened? So he's done it. It's got stuck. Did he have to, like, tell your parents about it? No, we were home on our own and a couple of friends and he panicked and tried to pull it off and it wouldn't work.

So we had to snap it for him. Oh, no. The whole family had to gather round his wanger stuck in the Metallica CD. Pretty much. Oh, jeez. That's so gutted. This Metallica CD would have been ruined. Have you ever tried to snap a CD?

It's not easy. Oh, it would have been. It's not easy to snap a CD. And that's how Jane's brother got circumcised. Jane, you've won Caller of the Year. Thank you so much. Oh, thank you, Jane. I like how you just rip straight into the story too.

She's told it before. You're straight into it. Hi, I'm Jane. My brother once got his winger stuck in a Metallica CD. The end. You all right? Can you please sneeze into your elbow? I was acting.

We're living in a post-COVID world. I was acting. Right. I'm the actress. Can you act like you know how to sneeze properly, please? Nah, your first one was better. Oh, was it? Yeah.

Do your parents, I don't know if this is just my parents, because my parents are visiting at the moment. Yeah. This is how my mum sneezes. Oh, Bo. Yeah. This is how my mum sneezes. Oh, boomer sneeze? This is how my mum sneezes. Yeah. I'm like, mum, is that completely necessary?

I think there's a chart that can be plotted, and it's like age versus sneeze volume. The older you get, the louder the sneeze. They just get louder and more elaborate get, the louder the sneeze. They just get louder and more elaborate as you get older. I'm like, do you want attention? Is that what you want? Just ask and I'll give you some attention.

You don't have to make that sound. A loud sneeze is quite enjoyable though. Like really just letting it go. Yeah, for you, not for everyone else around you. Anyway. My sneeze is not for everyone around me. I want to talk about sneezes because I am someone who has suffered with a real bad hay fever my whole life. Just horrible allergies, horrible hay fever. Me too, actually.

It's just so bad. It's horrible. And I came across this article which was talking about, I don't know if this is, I mean, it's from an expert, a vitamins expert by the name of Sarah Hastings. And she's talked about the dietary changes you can make to what she believes will help you with your hay fever. Okay. Okay? Look, let's just be open-minded.

I thought you didn't believe in vitamins. Yeah, but this is about food. Okay. Oh, okay. All right. So it's more like nutrition. Yeah. Okay.

This is about food. Okay. All right. Okay. All right. So it's more like nutrition. Yeah. Okay. This is about food, not vitamins. Are you going to eat your way to antihistamine? I'm going to fix my gut health and that's going to in turn fix my hay fever. All right. What have we got to eat to beat hay fever? Okay. So the first one is root vegetables. So we're talking sweet potato, carrot, beetroots, that type of thing.

Yeah. I was about to say carrots, but you covered those. Yep. Yams. Yep. Yep. I love to eat a whole lot of yams. Turnips.

Turnips, yep. Yep. Yep. Any more? Nah, that'll do. That's it? Yeah. Okay.

Apparently, they're packed full of essential vitamins and minerals that can help you reduce the inflammation in your body, which in turn helps you with your hay fever. Ginger. Yep. Great. Ginger's great for everything. Ginger's so good.

Okay, so that's the first one. The next one is citrus fruits. Oh, I love that. Which I love a bit of citrus. So we're talking oranges, lemons, grapefruits. Feijoas? Is that a citrus? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know.udia can you google if feijoas are citrus please they might be feel like they are yeah could be um but she says that those three oranges lemons and grapefruits are the best ones of the citrus family for helping with hay fever uh the next one i'm not a fan of this cla Claude, do you have an answer? Well, it's a guava, so I don't know if it's a citrus. Let's say yes. Can you Google now, is guava a citrus? Yeah, can you Google, is guava citrus?

The next one, I'm not on board this, it's kale. Oh, are we still talking about kale? No one is. I feel like kale had its moment in 2012. It got in the bin. Yes, producer Claude? It's not citrus. Guava's not citrus.

But it's packed with vitamin C. Well, that seems like a contradiction. So Guava is not citrus. What about Fijas? No. No, Fijas are Guavas. Right. Guava family?

Yeah. Who knows? I don't know, man. Kale is another one, and the last one on the list. Wait, back to kale. Yes. Surely you can find a way to enjoy kale. You're an adult.

Hate it. You would don't. Oh, don't mind it. Roasted kale. Don't mind it on a bit of a hash brown with kale, with poached eggs and a bit of hollandaise on it. Oh, that's nice. Yeah.

And lots of like oil and like. I prefer spinach, but I'll take kale. Okay. You know, the last food on the list to help you. Doesn't really wilt kale. Kind of does. It stays quite robust. Kind of does if you really. Cook the shit out of kale. Okay. You know? The last food on the list to help you. It doesn't really wilt kale. Kind of does. It stays quite robust. Kind of does if you really.

Cook the shit out of it. Yeah. Like really just get in there. Really fry all the nutrients out of it. Yeah, I like that. These are the foods that you can eat to help you with your hay fever apparently. The last one on the list is salmon. Oh, bougie.

Bougie salmon. Right, okay. So let's make a meal. Let's make an analogy-free meal. What's your root vegetable going to be? Potatoes. Got to be potatoes. So we'll do those as a hash brown?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then what's our citrus going to be? The citrus. Oh, lemon goes in hollandaise sauce. Lemon in the hollandaise sauce? Yes, lemon in hollandaise sauce. And then we'll have the kale wilted.

And then we'll wilt our kale. With a bit of garlic. Cooked in a lot of oil and some chilli oil and salt and butter. Cooked in heaps of butter. Yes. And then we'll bake the salmon and put that all together. Wonderful. And we'll have that every night.

And we'll go broke because how much does salmon cost? Sounds like a recipe for gout to me. Guys, let's just have a runny nose, okay? I didn't play your nose. How awkward or how awkward can first dates be?

Terrible, horrible, can go really bad. There's so much pressure on them. So much pressure. Jamila Jamil, who you will know from The Good Place,

she's amazing. She's so funny. She has a new podcast called Bad Dates with Jamila Jamil where she talks to famous people about their worst first dates ever. Okay. And to promote it, she has shared the story of her worst ever first date. Oh, no. How bad is it?

On a scale of one to ten, one being amazing and ten being like you've shit yourself on a date. Oh no. How bad is it? On a scale of 1 to 10 1 being amazing and 10 being like you've shit yourself on a date. 10. Oh it's that bad. No one's shit themselves. She said from doing the podcast though an amazing number of stories of people shitting themselves. Like I've come close. On a first

date? Yeah I was sick. I'd just gotten back from the Philippines. Why'd you go on a date? Because I'd already, we'd already rescheduled like twice before and then I was like, if I reschedule again, it's going to look like I, and I really did want to go on it. And then I just, I

sucked it up and I wore two pairs of underwear. Anyway, this is Jamila Jamil's worst date ever. He turns up at my house. He takes three steps in and collapses face first on the ground. All of his front teeth shoot out of his mouth across my entire living room. So now there is blood and teeth all over my room and he's having a seizure.

And I panic. I think he's going to die. I call 911. Police turn up. The fire brigade. They're trying to resuscitate him. They manage to bring him to and they're like excuse me sir have you taken anything do you have epilepsy and he's like oh i might have had some cocaine but i always have cocaine and i was like oh

it's a small red flag and he's trying to treat like this because he's got no teeth now and so they start putting the blanket over him to take him out and he gets a raging erection which feels inappropriate at the moment and they're sir, have you taken anything else? Right. And he looks directly at me and just goes, I am out of house and Viagra. Oh, jeez, it just got worse and worse. It was kind of like a car crash and you hit one thing and then you bounce off that and you hit another thing and then you rolled it six times and then you went down the quarry

into the lake and the car's sinking into the water and then all of a sudden it's submerged and there's no coming back. How presumptuous to take your Viagras at the beginning, before the first date. And on a first date. A first date, before you even meet the person. Yeah, there's something not right with that guy. If that's what you're into, go and pop your Viagras after dinner

when you feel like things are going particularly well. I mean, yeah, you're being very presumptuous, aren't you? No second date. Oh, really? I'm shocked. I'm shocked to hear that. We want to hear your worst first date stories this afternoon. The worst.

What happened that meant? Well, no, I was about to say what happened that meant there was no second date. But we've done this before and the number of people who follow up their story with and we've been married for six years and we've got three cubs. And we've been together ever since. Doesn't mean it wasn't

a horrible first date. It can be a horrible first date but still turn out. We'd love to hear your stories this afternoon on our $800. Or you can text them to 9696. Doesn't matter how bad, how graphic, how awful. We want to know what the worst first date you ever went on was. You can remain anonymous because some of these are quite personal.

We're talking about worst first dates. Jamila Jamil's got a new podcast called Bad Dates and she's told the story about a first date, a guy arrived, walked in the front door, instantly collapsed having a fit and smashed his front teeth out and when he came to, the paramedics said

have you taken anything? He said, oh, just a bit of cocaine. And then they put a blanket over him to wheel him out and he got a boner and they said what else have you taken and he goes awesome viagra that's gonna be hard to top should we kick it off with this text though uh someone said worst first date ever was in queenstown they wanted to show me how good they were at skimming rocks ended up throwing it right into my temple and gave me a concussion then fast forward two hours there was a tree with those leaves that drop.

I said I could swing on that over the water. The tree broke and then had to sit through dinner, absolutely drenched. We're still dating though. Oh my God. Why did you swing on that tree? Oh, because they were concussed. They weren't thinking straight.

I don't know. I wouldn't have went to dinner. I would have been like, oh, I think I'm done for the night. Yeah. Let's go get takeaways. Yeah. Sitting in a restaurant soaking wet in Queensland,

I hope it was summer, someone texted in and said, not my worst date, but I always remember the guy who took me to a kebab shop, insisted on me paying because if girls want equality, they should pay the bill. And then at the end of the night, dove in for a kiss.

Followed that up with, just because I kissed you doesn't mean that I like you. And then he got upset when I said no to a second date. Oh, my God. Who in the world would think you're getting a second date after that display? Come on. Let's talk to Ioana. Hi, Ioana.

Hi, Ioana. Hello. Tell us, mate, what was your worst first date ever? I have several, but the one I remixed right off. I met a guy at a party through some friends and he asked me out on a date and I said, yeah, sounds good. We went and had a drink. That was lovely. And then we went to, he said, let's go up to Ponsonby. So we went up to SPQR up there. Yeah.

And 15 minutes into the meal, he looks at me and he goes, so, do you swallow? Oh! Oh! Oh, you. This date is over. Thank you, bye. You got up and left?

I got up and left. Seriously? Good on you. I had to stay probably an hour and a half. Have a bit of decorum. Did he think he was funny? Did he think I was being funny? I don't understand. Well, we know he was seriously

eating. Oh, yuck, mate. He had a trip to London for the night. I don't know. Oh my God. Disgusting behaviour. Here's one. First, he snuck me into his house after some light petting. He, oh no, I can't read that. No, you can't read that one.

I'm sorry. Yeah, no, don't read that one. I've already started that. Oh, I can read this one. He actually stood me up on the first date because he got arrested, turned up to the redo date blind drunk and hit on the barmaid. Still dated him for three months and he disappeared off the face of the earth while i was on holidays people persevere probably got a worse date probably

got arrested again probably doing 20 years laura's here hi laura hi laura hi hi sorry can i just like start by saying that poor caller before me the sheer audacity of that guy is just oh my god Horrible. Yeah. Just, I... It's disgusting. Oh, my God. You know what would have been the perfect situation? I've always wanted to throw a drink in someone's face. That's the moment. And I feel like that is the moment.

That's the moment. Exactly. Drink in the face. Okay, Laura, can you top it? Maybe, possibly. Not to the sheer shock horror of that conversation. Yeah, probably a good thing. Tell us about your worst day ever.

My worst day ever was I met a guy through some mutual friends and we kind of hit it off and he was like, oh, do you want to go out with me? And I said, sure. So we went and hung out at Mission Bay and had a bit of a snog and, you know, whatever. Just chilled out. Lovely. And then I was talking to my best friend at the time.

This was quite a few years ago when I was younger. And I was like, oh, I met this guy. He's really cool, blah, blah. And we were talking about it. And she was like, sounds similar to the guy I'm seeing. And it turns out this has been like her boyfriend for like the past like two, three months that she's been seeing that she hadn't felt comfortable introducing to anybody yet. She had a secret boyfriend

and he had been going on, he went on a date with you and you pashed him after you had a connection. Yeah, and I had no idea they were going out. Like they were kind of exclusive, but she was just at the point of feeling comfortable with introducing him to her family and her friends and stuff. Was she mad at you? Yes and no, but I think she felt like that he was kind of a player and a kind of a little bit of a sleep bag.

You're not the enemy in this situation. He is the enemy. I can't. What are the odds of that? Like that you have. Of all the guys. I mean, we are in New Zealand. But like, can you imagine him?

He would be like, what are the odds? The best friends. What are the bloody odds? I just want to read this one out. Someone's texting and said, I've been talking to a guy for a bit and then I decided to pick him up for a first date. I showed up and he took one look at me and my brand new ute and said

no thanks, I'm all good. Gay guys don't like dairy farmers I think. What? That's so rough. That's so rubbish. That's so judgmental. That's horrible. That's so judgmental. Now it's time for a birthday banger. Let's do a birthday banger before we get into that solid content.

This is where you call us up. You tell us what your birthday is and then we figure out what was the number one song when you turned 16 and we'll play one of those songs in full. Hi, Sam. G'day, Sam. Hello. Have you. Hi, Sam. G'day, Sam. Hello. Have you cried today, Sam?

Not yet, but it's still early. There's still time, Sam. There's still time. What was the last thing you cried about? Probably my cats being cute, I would assume. Oh, right. Okay. I do that all the time.

Not my cats, but my dogs. Like if they're being real cute together. It makes you cry. Sometimes. Wow. Like tear up. Oh, right. Okay. I do that all the time. Not my cats, but my dogs. Like if they're being real close together. It makes you cry. Sometimes. Wow. Like tear up. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Wow. Okay. All right. I love you, Sam. I feel like we're spirit animals. What's your birthday? 13th of March, 1995. All right.

That means you were 16 in 2011. And on your 16th birthday, Sam, let me take you back there. This was number one. Excuse the pun, but I love this song. It's from Avalanche City. It's called Love, Love, Love. This song was huge. You like it, Sam?

Yeah, yeah, it's pretty good. He's an avocado farmer now. Is he? Yeah. Everyone got into avocadoing. Yeah, he got an avocado orchard in the Bay of Plenty. Yeah. Yeah, it's a life.

It'd be great. Wait there, Sam. We're going to do a birthday banger for Drea. Kia ora, Drea. G'day, Drea. Hello. Drea, there she is. When was the last time you cried, Drea?

Cried? A couple of weeks ago when I got married. Did you cry? Hey, congratulations. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Was it good tears? Yeah, of course. Oh, you never know.

You could have been left at the altar. I don't want to get married. No. Okay, good. Okay, well, what's your birthday, Drea? 26th of November, 1981. All right, that means you were 16 in 1997. And on that day in 97, this was number one.

Barbie, let's go party. Barbie world. Yeah, Drea. Controversially not in the new Barbie movie. Is it not? No. Oh, what a load of BS. Mattel never liked this song.

Idiots. They were never into it. Yeah, that's so stupid. Drea, you love it though, right? Yeah, it's a banger. I mean, how could you not? How could you not? They've got to make it work.

Okay, wait there, Drea. We're going to do one for Jess. Hi, Jess. Hi, Jess. Hey, how you going? Good, thanks. I've asked everyone else I need to ask you.

When was the last time you cried? Oh, it would have probably been, oh, last night. Last night? Was it like a show that was sad or an ad? Yeah, it was one of those soldiers coming home videos. Oh, God. Don't bring it up, I'll cry. The only thing more emotional than the soldiers coming home

is like the soldier reuniting with their dog videos. Oh, my God, yes. Damn. God. Don't know why that's more emotional than the kids, but it is. And then if the soldier is an old person soldier. Oh, got me. It's all three. I'm out.

The soldier's returning from World War II. He's been gone for 70 years. Oh, God, I would blow my eyes out. Okay, Jess, let's move on swiftly. What's your birthday? 18th of the 4th, 2003. Right, that means you were 16 in 2019. And on the 18th of April, 2019, this was at the top.

Oh, yeah. Banger. Billie Eilish. What's wrong with Billie Eilish? Yeah. This was massive. This is her biggest song. Huge.

Yeah. Okay, wait. Oh, it's Jess's birthday today, by the way. Happy birthday, Jess. Oh, shit. Thank you. Dammit, Jess. We nearly made her cry again because it's got her birthday.

Sorry, Jess. No, that's okay. I've got a friend who cries whenever you sing happy birthday to her. Oh, really? Yeah, even if it's not her birthday. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because she's so embarrassed?

Wait there, Jess, on your birthday, we've got to make a decision between these three. I love Everland City. I like the Billie Eilish song, but I feel like we're going to play Barbie. It's Aqua. Yeah. Hey, girl.

Drea, congratulations. You just won birthday banger. Awesome. Thank you. All good. Nice work, Drea. Brian Clint. Hiya, Barbie. Hi work, Drea Brian Clint Hiya, Barbie

Hiya, Barbie Hi, Clint You did the man voice and lady voice That's how it works in my household most of the time, too Brian Clint, you're on ZM It's fantastic You can brush my hair Undress me everywhere

Imagination Life is your creation Come on Barbie, let's go party Bree and Clint This is quite an interesting letter to the editor that I saw today on the New Zealand Herald. It's from someone who has a crush, like a serious crush on one of their workmates. Oh, this is like Dolly Doctor.

Yeah, yeah. I would never write to a newspaper to get an answer to a situation like this. But I'm glad that this person did because it's really interesting. Before I read it to you, have you ever had a crush on a co-worker? Yes, I have. Me too. And then I ended up, oh, hello. No.

No. The look on Clint's face just then was like looking at his sister being like, gross. You would think it was you. No, anyway. I don't want to hear about your crush. Do you want to hear this? Yes, I want to hear it. So it's from an anonymous source because of course, but here it goes. I have a crush on a coworker,

but this isn't a normal crush. I've had crushes before and I usually either confess or I just ignore them and then they go away, but not this one. I really, really like this person far more than anything that I've felt in a long time. I'm aware when he's in the room and I notice all sorts of details about him.

I've tried to put it out of my mind and I know work and romance don't mix, particularly when I have no idea if he returns my feelings. But this crush just won't be crushed. Do you have any advice on how to navigate a painfully intense crush on a colleague? Jeez, stage five. They're in deep. They are. And it sounds like...

I reckon it's affecting their work. Yeah, it sounds like they don't want to be in that deep either. They're like, this is now getting to be a problem. Well, I think they just know, or at least they think they know that you can't mix business with pleasure. Oh, business, business. I say go for it. Okay, is that your official advice? Mix business with pleasure. Oh, business. Business. I say go for it. Okay.

Is that your official advice? Well, unless it's going to be a situation where if it goes badly and you have to... Continue to work with that person. Yeah. And be professional. But if they're like, let's say, for example, here at ZM, like we've got obviously our immediate team.

Yeah. I'd probably say steer clear of those people. Sorry, Producer Claude and Producer Ella. You're both disappointed. But, you know, steer clear of that team. But then like the wider office I feel like is fine. Are you going to go pash someone at Newstalk ZB? I mean, you know, there's a few people out there.

Do you want to hear the official advice and see how it compares to yours? Yes, what do they say? So it says work and romance don't mix but many many people have romantic entanglements yay if you're not dealing with a power imbalance that would make one of you vulnerable to exploitation that's a really good point isn't it yeah like you can have a crush on the boss see that's a no-go but they're not allowed to have a crush on you yeah but i also think boss is a no-go zone. It says the only real harm in dating a co-worker

is if the relationship doesn't work out. Oh my God, you're so spot on. Oh my God, it's like I've been here before. At the end of the day, if you really, really like this person, why not shoot your shot? The worst that he can say is that he's not interested, which will hurt.

Yes, but you will handle it and have new information about how to proceed. You will learn. You will grow as a person. And if he says yes to a date, well, everything is possible. Why not? How fun would work be if you were having a secret fling with somebody in the office?

It'd be so much fun. Wouldn't it? So much fun. Imagine how much effort you'd put into what you wear to work. You would, but that's fun too. That's fun too. Because then it's actually exciting and you're excited to go to work. Yeah.

Because you've got your crush there. I'm just recalling a time that I had a crush on someone that I worked with. And it was at the Christmas party I decided to make my move. You've told me the story. Yeah, I decided to make my move on a guy called Chase who was a very charismatic, good-looking guy and we ended up having a little pash on the dance floor and then one of my friends came over and goes, he just kissed someone else in the bathrooms and that was after he vomited.

So, look, it didn't work out for me. Wait, was your kiss directly after the vomit or was there a kiss between vomits? No, so I was sloppy seconds but it was after. No, that's the worst order. No, that's better than being straight after the vomit. I thought it went kiss, vomit, kiss. No, it goes vomit, kiss. Vomit, kiss, kiss.

Yes. Oh, so she kind of cleaned it out for me. She, exactly. Brian Clint. We're about to conduct an experiment, a competition. Yesterday on the show, I said to you, Clint, I watched the new Lewis Capaldi music video for his song that's called Wish You the Best.

Yeah. And I could not hold back the tears. I cried so much like a little baby. And then for some reason I was out in the Zen M office before the show and I made one of my friends out there watch it, and she didn't cry, but I cried again. I can't. You're a sucker for punishment.

I am a sucker for punishment. You also made Claudia watch this yesterday, and it's on our Instagram. Claudia instantly cried. You didn't warn me at all. No. Oh, I did warn you. You were like, how are you going to cry,

but you didn't tell me why. I told you. This music video, so sad. Brie described it as very Marley and me the music video and then she went, Claudia's got a dog. I'll make her watch it. So here's what's going to happen right now.

We're all going to watch it. The Brie and Clint team and we're going to sit here, we're going to watch it and the competition is if you cry then you're out. Yeah. All right? Okay.

That is the game. And can I just preface this with I feel like I'm at a disadvantage because there is a dog in the music clip that looks a lot like my dog, and I feel like it's unfair, but that's fine. I'm not going to cry. Does it change anything if I tell you that I spent the morning with my cat at the vet and not looking good? Why are you telling me this?

That's going to set me off before we even watch it. I'm talking about me. Something about yourself. I'm saying I'm in a vulnerable animal state at the moment. But I am going to feel your pain now and I'm going to cry for you. I'm just saying this is quite raw for me personally at the moment. Someone on the text machine just said, I watched it and sobbed and I knew I shouldn't have even tried it,

but I couldn't help myself. Me too. And now we're about to do it again. Is everyone ready? Is everyone ready? I guess so. Okay, we're going to kick it off. You will hear the song and we will let you know who cries

first. Okay. Good luck, everybody. I'm not going to cry. It's fine. Here's Lewis Capaldi and Wish You The Best. My God, that is exactly like your dog. It looks so much like her. Do you think you can tell me everything, darling? Oh, my God, that is exactly like your dog. It looks so much like her. Bree and Clint. Instead, I only wish you the best.

I did good. I didn't do good. Oh, no. Oh, no. That's so sad. Oh, my God, Ella. It got you. It got you bad. I was fine until the last second. It's bad, eh?

When he puts the dog collar on the... Oh, wow. Can I have those tissues? Yeah, I feel like I'm all cried out from watching it. You've cried the first two times. Yeah. You're now immune to the Lewis Capaldi music video. Yeah.

Right. Okay, well, if anybody has some really sad videos they want to send to Brie. Ella is wailing. Oh, my gosh. It's really sad. Really, really sad. That was me in the ZM office earlier today. I might take a tissue.

Yeah, if anyone else has anything that they think. What's wrong with me? Yeah, I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with me now. You've already cried twice. Yeah, true. I've had my share. Yeah, what's wrong with you? That was real sad. That was real sad.

It was real sad. It's called Wish You The Best if you want to try the experiment on yourself. If you have a dog, look, I am warning you. I am warning. Or a granddad. Or a granddad. I'm warning you. It's very sad.

Bree and Clint. And that's the end of the show. We are done. I don't want to go home. Trouble on the home front? My mum and dad's last night here in New Zealand. You don't want to see them? It just means that it's going to be over and I'm really sad about it

and I know I'm going to cry again. I've already cried today. I'm just an emotional wreck. They've been here for a good stunt. Only two weeks But I'm just going to miss them When are you going to see them? I don't know

You got that thing That thing? That's like September That will come up so fast What are you going to do for your last night To celebrate with your parents? I haven't planned anything. Strip poker. Yep. Maybe

that's on the list. We might play a bit of, we might actually play some cards. A bit of Canasta. Have you ever played Canasta? No, I've never played Canasta. Such a good card game. You need a special deck of cards though. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's a very old person's game. I used to go to my Nan's, she lived in like an old people village. Yeah. It's a very old person's game. I used to go to my Nan's.

She lived in like an old people village. Yeah. Like in little units. Yeah. And they used to have a canasta club and I used to, I'd say to my mum, can you drop me off at Nan's? I want to play in the canasta club. Did they play for real money? Yeah. It was awesome. Yeah. It was so good. And I was like.

If you lost, they would never take your money. But if you won, You're more than welcome To take their money I always took their money Yeah I used to go around When I knew it was The day after pension day

Yeah perfect timing Yeah and then clean them out And they got lots of booze And ciggies Yeah When they restock Yeah totally For this and more ways

To fleece the aged community Tune in to another episode Of the Brian Clint Show tomorrow We will see you then. Bye. Bye guys. Bye.