ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – 19th January 2021

Episode Date: January 20, 2021

Tradie V LadyHas your height impacted your dating life?Latest with Dean McCarthy2min noodlesHow much for your watch?Michelle Visage chat!Fridge or PantryWhat was your worst date?Birthday Banger!Savage secretsRelaxing musicBree checks a factSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi everybody, welcome to the Bree and Clint podcast, the second one for 2021 and to safe space. And by that I mean my wife doesn't listen to the podcast. So I need to get some help from everybody. Have our third wedding anniversary. Is my third wedding anniversary? Third. Yes, it would be. You were there. Third wedding anniversary. I wasn't there. I wasn't invited.

No, you weren't. It's awkward, isn't it? We weren't even... awkward isn't it You know We weren't even No no no Does that mean I don't have to invite you To my wedding

When I have one No because that would be awkward We weren't even We weren't even working together Can you imagine But we did know But you do invite Ben We did know each other

We knew each other I can't invite everyone That I know That would be Jesus Christ Anyway third wedding anniversary And I'm on the lookout for the right gift

You said for third Anniversaries Because it's like You know how they do gold, silver For whatever Wood Paper Imagine if you just wrapped your dick up

What Yeah Which anniversary is dick? No, it's wood. Every. Oh, wood. Wood. You just wrap your penis up.

Oh, I see what you did there. Our last anniversary was cotton. This one is... Oh, lame. This one. Oh, okay. What did you get for cotton? Like, what did you get for that?

I didn't get Lucy anything. A lambskin rug. No, that's... No, that's... That's wool. That's wool. What the hell? Cotton could be sheets, could be bedding. Oh yeah, that's good.

Lucy got me some really nice t-shirts and I got her nothing. You told me it's leather. You got her nothing! Oh, you've got to step it up. I got her nothing because we agreed that our wedding anniversary was going to be tickets to Elton John. And that's what we were doing for our anniversary.

But then she still got you a present on top of that. And then she sprung a gift on me. So this year I really need to blow her out of the water. You are a rookie. I need to blow her out of the water with the gift. Does she need a new purse? No, I've got the winner. I think he should get her a pair of RM Williams boots.

That's a lot of money. You got her nothing last year. Very good point. Has she ever met you? No, I got her half an Elton John concert because he left halfway through the concert. Would she like our tips? She's got a pair of RMs. She would love a new pair of RMs.

Oh, well, it's perfect. Are they brown or black? I'm a great gift giver, can I say? She's got tan. She wants black. It's so expensive, though. Yeah, they're like $600, $700. RM Williams boots are my all-time favourite.

They are the OG boot. Yeah, they're a beautiful boot. They're great boots. How much? I can't even remember how much they are. They're $500. Oh, shit. Yeah, it's not a cheap boot, is it?

And it's not even a big wedding anniversary. It's just the third wedding anniversary. Yeah, but you love them. Get her like a little leather wallet, something tiny. Oh, get her a gimp mask. Oh yeah, that's good. A little ball gag. No, that's rubber.

No, it's strapped leather. How would you know, Clint? She goes, is this a gift for me or a gift for you? I'm not into that stuff by the way. Maybe I want some new R&B boots.

Yeah, that'd be nice. Yeah, well you need to be married first. You didn't get me anything for our last couple'd be nice. You didn't get me anything for our last couple of anniversaries. You didn't give me anything. No, that's not the point. We're talking about you. Yeah, it's true.

She's got you there. Yeah. So anyway, hot suggestions. Do you want them on the Facebook page? Yeah, Lizzie's not a member of the Facebook page either. So any ideas, you can whack them up in the Facebook. Facebook, the group, Lizzie's not a member of the Facebook page either. So any ideas, you can whack them up in the Facebook. Does she have any other? Facebook, the group,

the private group. Does she have any other brands that she'd want, like a pair like Mupiachi, black boots, or like? Oh, she's got so many boots. Oh, okay.

She's got so many everything. She's got like a million like Marc Jacobs bags. She's so stylish. She's got Chanel. She's got, what else has she got? She's got everything.

She's got, no, that's painting her in the wrong light. She's got a very well's got... What else has she got? She's got everything. She's got... No, that's painting her in the wrong light. She's got a very well curated collection of the best stuff that she's accumulated over a lifetime of style. There is a lot of stuff. Like in terms of like... She works at a fashion magazine. She's so stylish.

In terms of like, yeah, high fashion, expensive kind of stuff, I don't think I've got one thing that would... No, you've got that leather jacket. Oh, yeah. That I got given for free. Yeah. thing that would... No, you've got that leather jacket. Oh, yeah. That I got given for free. Yeah. So that doesn't count. Memories.

Yeah. Like, I don't have one... Actually, no, you worked hard for that jacket. You shut the fuck up. That's not... You earned that jacket. Hey, no. No, you rein it in.

I'm just saying. You rein it in. Clant. Okay. I'm just saying You reign it in I'm trying to think of something I've reigned it in It's been reigned in Nothing in life is ever free What's something that I can fire back at you No there's no need

I've thought of something When is the anniversary It's on the 2nd of February That is soon. Yeah. Ben's the master of gifts in this team. Yeah, Ben's at Giver. No, I am the master of gifts.

No, you two are both good at gifts. Me and Clint hate gift giving and we don't like doing it. Actually, no, yeah, Ben's good as well. I feel like I don't get enough credit for how good at gift buying I am. That's the one good thing I am at. All right, excuse me. Ben's top of mind, okay, because he came up with the idea for your birthday present

that we gave you yesterday. Okay, I did say this morning to Sophia how impressed I was with my birthday gift. So thank you, Ben. Okay. Well, thank all of us. Well, I made it happen. I was supposed to say I did, but I made it happen.

No, I did. I thanked all of you on Instagram. Anastasia told me what colour pals to buy. Oh, nice. I called a lot of Ribble Sports. Anastasia told me What colour pals to buy Oh nice I called a lot of Rebel sports You bought me Two things of pals now

And I actually Made the effort To see her on her birthday And go to a concert A lot of effort From everyone And on my birthday On my actual birthday

She went out of her way Bought me a card And another thing of pals Yeah Pals are Seltzers by the way If you don't live In New Zealand

Drinks. Alcoholic drinks. Bree's got a problem. And I've got a problem in that I need an anniversary gift. Does she need a new beer fridge? Not leather. Are there any labels that she really likes that you wouldn't get a voucher to but like you know.

Oh voucher. No don't go voucher. Don't go voucher. You're like a Westfield voucher. There's so much leather at Westfield. There's so much leather. I hate vouchers. That was very awkward at the Christmas party. Have you spent your voucher yet?

No, I haven't. I don't know where it is. Have you told the voucher story yet? You need to tell the voucher story. No, I have apologised to that person. It's fine, but it's a great awkward story. It's very funny. If anyone knows me and if you listen to this podcast, you would know that I just don't appreciate a voucher. We were so close.

This moment is so good. I've forgotten all about it. I don't appreciate a voucher as a gift. I just think it's not very thoughtful. That's me personally. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion. That's what I personally feel. I feel like you might be on the same page here.

Vouchers, awesome. Wait, don't cut in on the story. Hang on. Finish the story. Shit, wait, you totally cut my story off. Anyway, Brie hates vouchers. I need to see the title. Also, we've got to stop this in two minutes.

Which I've talked about on this show quite a lot. So Brie hates vouchers. We're at the ZDM Christmas party. Santa calls her up to receive her gift and it's a small rectangular flat gift and Brie says this better not be

a bloody voucher I hate vouchers so unthoughtful like screamed it Brie unwraps her gift I was drunk okay Brie unwraps her gift

and it is a voucher a voucher and to be honest it was one of the best type of vouchers Because it was a voucher to Mecca Where there is a lot of stuff you can buy from there And she says I was just kidding Anyway I no longer drink anymore

After that Because I say really ignorant And horrible things. Anyway, I talked to the person who gave it to me and I apologised profusely and they were like, oh, I don't care. And she actually said to me, I kind of agree. You should have bought her a voucher to make up for it. She actually got a voucher in the Secret Santa as well.

That's right, she did too. All right, suggestions are welcome. We've got to go. So you keep on trucking, everybody, and we'll see you guys tomorrow. Awkward ending. See you. Yay.

Bye. Hey, Google, what's the time? It's 3 p.m., give or take a minute. Alexa, play ZM on iHeartRadio. Playing ZM on iHeartRadio. Hey, Siri, when are Bree and Clint on? Bree and Clint are on air in five, 4, 3, 2, 1. G'day everybody, Bree and Clint, good afternoon.

We're just going through each other's TikTok algorithms and going, man, either the algorithm is really messed up, or we are all individually really messed up in different ways. Because I believe that you can tell a lot about a person from the first video that comes up when they open their TikTok app. Yours is all about naked men. Oh, no. That's what you just showed me,

a man falling over a naked man onto a guitar. No, he wasn't naked. That was a sausage. See, this is my point. This is exactly what I'm talking about. Is that a euphemism for something? No, it was a real sausage. Is that a metaphor?

Well, you were showing me a TikTok about a lady who videos herself sleepwalking and farting. Yeah. Spot on. You can tell a lot about a person from what their TikTok algorithm says. It's the first video. The rest of it's diluted. It's the first video that comes up. I think as soon as you open the app, it hits you.

To entice you. Yeah, you know how it pulses for a second and it goes, oh, what is the most Brie video or the most Clint video that I can give them? To really hook her in. Yeah. And for me, they were like, sausage penis. So, yeah, maybe I'm not right. Today on the show, we're giving away some cash

thanks to KFC's new Big Kahuna Burger. If you want to play with us, be listening at quarter to five. Quarter to five and you can win some cash this afternoon. Big Kahuna. Do you remember that song? No, that was, ooh, Barracuda. Oh, yep, you're right. We've got a brand new game, though,

that we're playing at three o'clock every day at the moment. Free and Cleanse. Trading versus Lady. Pretty simple. If you want to play, call now 0800-DIAL-ZM. It'll be a Tradie versus a Lady,

which I mean, if you're a Lady Tradie, you can call for either or all. Yeah, or if you're a Lady Lady, you can call for either or only one. No, just that one. Just that one, yeah.

It's general knowledge. Good knowledge of general knowledge will do you well in Tradie versus Lady. 50 bucks up for grabs if you want to play. Call us now. 0800 dials at M.

Jason Derulo, Breeinclint at M. Breeinclint. Let's play our new game. Breeinclint. Tradie versus Lady. Very simple. How good is your general knowledge? We're about to put you to the test.

It's the tradies versus the ladies. And who have we got up first, Clint? Fighting out of the tradies corner, she's a 22-year-old surveyor who got her toe cut off when she was three. Welcome our tradie, Charlene. Hello, Charlene. Hey, how's it going?

Good. How did you manage to get your toe cut off when you were three? It went through the bike chain of my brother's bike. You're kidding. Which toe? My big toe. No. You're like Martin Guptill.

Okay, fighting out of the ladies' corner this afternoon is a 32-year-old office administration worker who likes driving and camping. Please welcome Hayley. Afternoon, Hayley. Hello, how are you? Good, thank you. Guys, the way it works, I'm going to read out the questions.

If you think you know the answer, Charlene, your buzzer is tradie. Hayley, your buzzer is lady. When you think you know, it's first to three. We'll win that 50 bucks. Good luck, guys. Here we go. All right, here we go. Question number one.

What is the name of the Golden Girls actress who turns 99 this week? Who? Hmm. Her last name is a colour. Her first name rhymes with sweaty. Three,

two, one. Tony. Charlene just buzzed in I have no idea I'm going to say Is it Cindy Brown? I have no idea I admire you giving it a go But no, it is not

It was Betty White Who turns 99 Question number 2 If someone is said to have a lot of clout, what does that mean? Lady. Lady. Yes, ladies. Hayley.

Is it a lot of baggage or? Good guess, but no. Do you want to guess, Charlene? It'll be a complete random guess. Go on then. Go on. It means they have a lot of humour? I don't know.

No, it means they've got a lot of influence or power. Yeah. A lot of clout. They're important. They're important. Okay, none from two. Here we go. Question number three.

Question number three. It's an easy one. How many in a baker's dozen? Trady. Trady. Charlene. Charlene. Twelve.

Hayley, you want to record? Ladies. Yeah. Thirteen. Yeah, we've got a point on the board. The ladies are on the board with one point. All right, here we go. Another question.

A group of Australian employees have been arrested this week for stealing $4 million of what? Is it A, avocados, B, salmon, or C, adult toys? Tradie. Tradie. Let's go to Charlene. I'm going to guess salmon. Salmon's correct.

That's right. All right, we're one apiece here, one apiece. Question number something. Which Fast and the Furious franchise actor slash actress also appeared in the award-winning film Saving Private Ryan? Is it A, Paul Walker, B, Vin Diesel, or C, Michelle Rodriguez? Lady? Yes, Hayley's in.

Is it C? No, it's not Michelle Rodriguez. Lady? Yes, Hayley's in. Is it C? No, it's not Michelle Rodriguez. Charlene? Paul Walker. No, it's Vin Diesel. Okay. All right, this is the question. This is the winning question, okay?

This is the winning question. We're now going to this. Whoever gets the next point wins the game. That's correct. All right, here we go. What has Justin Timberlake and Jessica Beal named their new baby? News

out today. Is it A. Phineas B. Felipe or C. Sexy Back? Trady? Lady? Trady. Charlene, for the win. Okay, I'm going to guess because I have an idea. I think it's maybe B. It's middle one.

Felipe. No, it's not. Hayley, get in there. Come on. I'll go A. A, Phineas. Well done. She's done it.

Wow. What a game. Oh, no. It's a point to the ladies somehow. Point to the ladies in the second game ever. Thanks, girls. We'll hook you up with that 50 bucks, Hayley. I always forget that they're both on that track

because they sound quite similar. No, they don't. You don't think so? No, doers are like, prisoner, prisoner. And then Miley's like, oh, I can't get you off my mind. They're different.

Miley's rasi, you know, heads from the bong kind of twang. You should get into impressions. I want to talk about this guy because I found it really interesting. There's a story out today about this guy who has had height surgery. Oh, yeah. Which they don't call it height surgery anymore. They call it, the medical term, I believe, is cosmetic limb lengthening surgery.

Much more catchy. They make you taller. Yeah. I used to hear about this. You used to see stories about people who wanted to work on aeroplanes. Be a flight attendant. As a steward, yeah. And they weren't tall enough.

And so they would break their shins and then they would put metal plates in either side of their shin bones and wait till the bone grew in the gap. Which is, that's still a rule on planes. Actually, if anyone's listening, if you work as a steward on a plane, do you have to be a certain height? Or if you used to. Or if you used to, yeah.

I should call my friend Dan. Surely you have to be a certain height because they need to see you over the seats when you're doing the safety instructions. No, because a lot of planes don't even do that anymore. No, you need to be a certain height so you can reach the overhead lockers. Yeah, it's not the safety thing. It was always the overhead lockers. I think it's a

combo. I think it's a combo. Well, I definitely could. I can reach those things. Well, congratulations. So, I mean, you never know. Yeah. This guy didn't want to do it because he wanted to work on planes. He said he always wanted to be a basketball player. Are they not going to be able to lengthen your legs long enough for you to become a basketball player? Even, so his name is Alfonso Flores.

He's 28. He's from Dallas, Texas. And ever since he was 12 He dreamed of being taller Because I mean he grew very fast Very early If he was full height at 12 But he was essentially 5 foot 11 So he was about 5 foot 11

Which is about my height Yeah So he was about my height He's average height, right? Yeah, for a man I'd say that's about average Yeah And he decided that he wanted to be taller and he went in and he got a consultation

and they said, yeah, that's easy. We can do that. How tall do you want to be? Yeah. How tall do you think he picked? Oh, don't say anything more than like 6'2". How tall did he elect to then become? Because if they're only giving you the height out of your legs,

anything more than a couple of inches, you're going to be out of proportion. You're going to be all legs and no torso. I'll say... Wait, I'll tell you what they do. Yeah. So essentially is what they say. They break his legs in two places.

Yeah. And then a state-of-the-art telescopic rod was implanted into the cartilage of the bone. The device was then pulled apart gradually so that it slowly separated the two bone segments. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, new living bone then grows to fill the gap, creating an increasing overall length of limb.

Yeah, got it. Yep. Sounds horrific. How tall did he get? 6'1". Oh, you're fine. You've got two inches. Two inches.

Which I mean. And now he's in the Lakers. That's the dream height for most men though. If they are a little bit shorter, they'd be like, I want to be 6'4". Oh, he'll be stoked. 6 or 6'1". Yeah, yeah, he'll be absolutely stoked. I want to know from people,

do you think that this has big impacts on his dating life? Do you think that's why he did it? Like he's saying it's because he wanted to play basketball. I don't think it will because it's a subtle change. He was already 5'11 and now he's 6'1. So you don't think that will have any change? It might if it affects his confidence. You know, if he feels more confident,

then yes, it's absolutely going to have an impact on his dating life. I think about people who are really tall and really short when it comes to dating. Yeah, like, how tall is really tall? Like, our boss, Ross, is... He's six foot... Eight. Eight?

He's six eight, and that's tall. He's a whopper. He's a huge human. Like, when I first met him, I literally gasped. I was like, who's that? And girls who are over six foot, what, six foot three? No. Would find it hard dating guys,

finding guys who are their height to date. I'm telling you, as a woman, women over six foot, six foot one. Oh, is that it? I think so, yeah. Yeah, right, okay. Because men would be like, oh my God, which I think is ridiculous because I think tall women are beautiful.

But I'm telling you, I reckon, yeah, six one. Call us this afternoon if your height has impacted your dating life. That's what we'd like to hear about. Whether it be tall or short, either or. Has it made things hard for you? Has it made things really easy for you? Yeah.

Maybe. Yeah, we just want to hear a bit of insight. Has it had an impact on your dating life? 0800 DIAL ZM or you can text us on 9696. Bree and Clint. Would you get the surgery to become taller? Not me, I'm happy. I don't need any more height.

I'd actually probably get it to have some height taken off. Are you going to come down a bit? No, actually, I'm happy with how it's going. Wouldn't it be good if you could donate some? It took me a while to get here, but I'm comfortable now. Ben, you want an inch? I've got a spare. Oh, that sounds wrong.

I wouldn't say that. Don't say that to Ben. That's a private conversation. Anyway, there's been a guy over in the States who has elected to get height surgery where they've added a couple of inches to his height. He went from 5'11 to 6'1. Yeah.

We're asking you this afternoon, though, has your height, whether it be your tall or short, ever impacted your dating life? Amy's here. Hi, Amy. Hi, Amy. Hi. Has this happened to you?

Yes. I'm only 4'11", so it's quite hard. Do you know that's the same height as the Veronicas? Yes. I'm trying to react really politely. I was about to go, whoa, you're tiny. But then I... Yeah, the Veronicas...

That's probably not what you want. Hey, the Veronicas are both 4'11", so yeah, okay. What impact does it have on your dating life? Well, everyone's so tall, so I look ridiculous next to... Do you target a shorter man or you're not... Yeah, what's your type, Amy? I think I prefer taller guys. Oh, okay.

I've heard that from some shorter friends of mine, that they prefer a big, burly man. Are you seeing anybody at the moment? No, I'm single. Oh, okay. Do you put that, can I ask, this might be really rude, but say you go on Tinder, do you put that you're 4'11 or do you surprise them when you go on the date?

Do you just pop up from under the table? Yeah, pretty much. Love it. Okay, well, interesting. Amy is out there. She's 4'11 and she's looking for a tall man if anyone's interested. Are you interested? Because I googled what the average height of a man is in New Zealand.

Very interested, yeah. And the average height of a woman. And these statistics came out in 2019, so not that long ago. Yeah. So for a man, the average Kiwi man is 177.7, which is about 5 foot 9. Yeah. About 5 foot 9.

And then the average height of a woman in New Zealand is 5 foot 4. Is it 5 foot 4? I'm a giant. What are you? 5 foot 10. Yeah, right. Okay. Okay, listen to him.

No, no, no, I don't mean it like that. You're meant to encourage me and be like, no, you're fine. No, you're fine. You're perfect. Tony, welcome, no, I don't mean it like that. You meant to encourage me and be like, no, you're fine. No, you're fine. You're perfect. Tony, welcome. Please change the subject for us. How tall are you, Tony? I am six foot, nearly six one.

Wow. And when did you get to that height, Tony? Because I'm interested. I was this height when I was like 14. Yeah, about the same. I was a giant compared to all of my friends. And how many times people say to you, oh, you'll be good at netball?

Oh, all the flipping time. And Tony, did you dominate? Yeah, I did. How good was it when you were like younger and you could just do that? Okay, so we just heard from someone who's 4'11 and how being short impacts their dating life. How does being over six foot

impact your dating life, Tony? Well, it's real weird. Some guys find it real intimidating and they just don't like it at all, especially if you want to go out and wear heels. You're six foot and all of a sudden you want to wear six inch heels. It's just a no-no.

No, you wear them, Tony. I got to that point in my life where I was like stuff everyone else. If I want to wear the heels, I'm wearing them. Are you seeing anybody at the moment? I'm actually married. Oh, lovely. Don't tell us, Tony. Do we think he's taller or shorter than her? I think he is. You think he's taller? I think so. Okay, Tony, how tall is your husband? Six, six, one, the exact same.

Yay! Perfect match, Tony. Unless he wants to wear heels, then he'll be taller than you. Bree and Clint. Time for the latest. From iHeartRadio. This is the latest. Live from LA with Dean McCarthy. This is a story that came out just over Christmas

where Dr. Dre suffered an aneurysm. We've got Dean on the line live from Los Angeles. What's the latest with Dr. Dre, Dean? Hey, guys. I've got some good news on Dr. Dre. Yeah, he suffered a brain aneurysm and was rushed to the Cedars-Sinai Hospital in Beverly Hills. And today he's been released.

So we don't really know much about what happened. All we know is that some of his famous friends like Ice-T said that they FaceTimed him. He's in good spirits. And we know that he's been released, which obviously means good things, right? While he was in hospital, though, an interesting thing, you might remember when we talked about his estranged wife who wanted $2 million a month in alimony. What do you call it? Right. While he was in hospital, though, and interesting, you might remember when we talked about his estranged wife who wanted $2 million a month in alimony. What do you call it?

Alimony, wife support. Yeah, like... Wife support. Yeah, spousal support. Well, spousal support. He signed the deal in hospital. What? He signed the $2 million.

She's getting $2 million a month in hospital. I don't know whether you should be signing things like that whilst in hospital. That's fascinating. Was she pushing it in front of him? He's not going to pay her lawyer fees.

So two things. Either she's got him at a moment of weakness and slid it under his nose and got him to sign it. Or he's been faced with his own mortality and gone, you know what, life's too short. If this is what you need, just take it. I'm sick of fighting. Yeah, I don't want to fight anymore.

Life's too important. Take it. Either way, ka-ching, she has really lucked in on that one. Because he did not want to give it to her, right, Dean? This was a bitter battle that game. He did not want to give it up. It was ugly. I mean, he did say it.

It was really ugly. Didn't he? He was the one that said it one time, didn't he? What? He was like, don't worry about the prenup. I love it. Yes. Oh, right.

Here's what he did. He ripped it up. He dramatically ripped the prenup up in like a piece of passion on an island or something. And then he got down and stuck it all back together. You know when you make a big dramatic thing and then you get down with the sticky tape? Yeah, yeah. It was like that. And that's why she took him to court,

I think, in the first place. That is the latest live out of Los Angeles with Dean McCarthy, our Hollywood correspondent. Thanks to Liquid Self-Service Laundromats. You can check out their website for a location near you. Bree and Clint. And how do you make your two-minute noodles?

I know it sounds obvious. Takes about two minutes. Well, you say that. I know it sounds mundane. I've seen this story yesterday and I I, to be honest, was shocked. It's one of those culture bridging moments where you realise things are different in a different country, but you thought they were the same. Or like realising that Weet-Pix told you that the...

Aussie kids were Kiwi kids. No, the Aussie kids were Weet-Pix kids, but Kiwi kids were also Weet-Pix kids. Yeah. So who is it, Weet-Pix? It's like when you live in Hamilton and you think you've sure got a friend in the breeze and then you move to Auckland and you find out they've also got a friend in the breeze. Apparently they get around.

In the Garden City. Anyway, the same thing. New Zealander Alice Brine, who's a comedian and lives in the UK, is blowing up Twitter at the moment when she revealed in New Zealand, three minute noodles are called two-minute noodles. We're talking about Maggi two-minute noodles.

The real bombshell there is that there is such thing as three-minute noodles. What the hell are three-minute noodles? Are they the same as two-minute noodles? Bombshell. And to be honest, I don't know if it's just because we've grown up with it, but two-minute noodles has a better ring to it than three-minute noodles. That's how I feel too, but is it because because we've grown up with it, but two minute noodles has a better ring to it than three minute noodles.

That's how I feel too, but is it because we've just grown up with it? Probably. It's gone all the way to the top. Maggie have replied. They said the reason for the variation. What did she say? Yeah, Maggie. Maggie has come to the table and said the reason for the variation between two minute noodles

in Australia and New Zealand. Yeah, what's the reason? And Maggie, three minute noodles in the UK comes down to a difference of manufacturing equipment and a slight variation in ingredients used, which makes me go- What does that mean? What does that mean? Who's got the superior noodles, Maggie? Like, who did you give the good ones to? If we've got different ingredients, who's got the good noodles?

I still don't understand. Does that mean our microwaves are different? What does it mean? Microwave. Like as in the equipment? Is it because of the ingredients? This is the point I want to get to. We all need to figure out

how we're making our noodles because there's variation in how long they take depending on how you make them. So this is an honesty session and we've brought producer Anastasia in here as well so we can get as many voices as possible.

I want to know how you make your two-minute noodles. It can be me-goring. It can be magic. It can be fantastic. I don't care. is an honesty session and we've brought producer Anastasia in here as well so we can get as many voices as possible. I want to know how you make your two minute noodles. It can be me goring, it can be Maggi, it can be fantastic, I don't care. We're just talking

about the cooking of the noodles. Just the noodles. Leave the sachets out for a second. We don't care about the sachets. Don't worry about the sachets.

How do you soften the noodle? Okay? Me? You first. Pot, water, on the stove, noodles in

once it's boiling. Okay, I absolutely, you know what, I absolutely agree with boiling. Okay. You know what? I absolutely agree with you. You do? Yeah. And to be honest, I didn't always do it like that. But for the last long time as I got smarter.

The noodle absorbs more water. It does. Way quicker. And you don't burn yourself getting things out of the microwave. Producer Anastasia, how do you make your two-minute noodles? It's so going to be microwave. She's 23. It's the microwave to be microwave. She's 23. It's the microwave.

Of course it's the microwave. She cooks poppadoms in a toasty machine. Have you heard of a thing called a stove? So it's this thing, it's this amazing thing where you put a thing called a pot. I don't think she can reach. I know. Brian Clint. I want to know from people this afternoon,

how much have you spent on your watch? Oh, yeah. Because story out today about UFC star Conor McGregor. Oh, yeah, okay. He's copping a lot of backlash after he shared on social media his new gold timepiece that includes 342 baguette-cut diamonds on the backdrop and a further 80 invisible set baguette-cut diamonds on the front to make a total of about $1 million price tag for that watch.

You said six figures. That's seven figures. Obviously, I don't have very much money. Sorry, I meant seven figures. I was thinking of six zeros. Right, okay. So how much is the watch in total, did you say? It's a $1 million watch.

A million dollar watch. A million dollars he spent on that watch. He'll be okay because who's going to steal Conor McGregor's watch? That's the bit you've got to think about. Oh, I wouldn't try it. I went on a Contiki once and one of the guys on the Contiki had a Rolex.

Oh, yeah. And we were in South America and someone just took the Rolex off his arm. Just put him in a headlock, took the Rolex off his arm and took off on a motorbike. No one is going to try and steal Conor McGregor's watch.

Yeah, that's true. Because he will destroy them. Yeah, he is one very, very angry leprechaun. I mean, he's lost to a few people in his career, but I doubt he'd run into them on the street and they would say, give me your watch! Give me your watch!

Whatever you need, Habib! I actually, over the break, tried on a really expensive watch. Where was it from? It was just the jewellery store in the mall by my house. Diamonds? No, no diamonds.

No diamonds? What made it so expensive? It was the brand that Chris Hemsworth is the spokesperson for. Tag? Yeah, tag. It was a tag.

I tried on a tag. How much are one of those going for? So I did this thing because I just had some spare time and I was just walking around the mall

and I was like, I'm going to go into this store and I'm not going to ask to see the price tag. I'm just going to pick the nicest watch I can see. That is not a good idea. And I'm just going to try it on for fun because I thought I'd love to know what it feels like, the watch. You know what would be fun? Trying on things I can't afford. Yeah. Well, at least you get to wear it for a moment. I tried on this watch and the lady's telling me all the things about it. She's like

it's automatic. It doesn't have a battery. I'm like, oh, save some money there. That's good. Cool. Yeah, I really like the feel of that. I mean, I'll have to check with my wife. How much is the watch? She said, that one there is the Carrera. That's $10,000. $10,000. I put it down very, very carefully on the cushioned plate that she had put out for me.

And I said, yo, I'll come back later. Is it also a phone? No. Does it, you know, is it a measuring tape? No. Does a measuring tape come out of it? Doesn't count your steps? Doesn't do your heart rate?

Does it give you free coupons for things? Doesn't get you text messages or anything like that? Because, I mean, smartwatches these days do a lot of stuff. Yeah, my smartwatch just told me it's time to get up and go for a walk. I think I'd rather the tag actually. At least the tag won't tell you to do that. I want to know from people this afternoon, because, I mean, Conor McGregor's spent a million bucks on this watch,

and surely I don't think we'd have anyone listening that would have spent or been, you know. No, there won't be a million-dollar watch out there. Surely not. No, but there'll be some expensive watches. You might have been handed down a watch from your grandfather, or maybe you just said, I deserve it. I'm going to treat myself, and you bought yourself a really flash watch.

Maybe it's a wedding watch. Who knows? I want to know. 0800 dial ZM. How much is your watch worth? Maybe you've got one of those really, really $30,000 expensive Apple watches. Oh, yeah. 0800 dial ZM or you can text us on 9696.

Bree and Clint. We're talking about expensive watches. Yeah, it's after UFC star Conor McGregor posted on social media he had a bit of a shopping haul. You know, no big deal. He bought a new Rolls Royce, a new suit, and a new $1 million watch. Oh, blimey. It is a monster. I mean, so, you know. He's doing alright for himself.

How gutted would you be if you left that watch in the Les Mills changing rooms? Oh wouldn't you? You take it off. Someone picks it up. So you can go and do your pump class and then you leave it there. Man, you'd be gutted. You don't take that watch off, ever. If you're wearing it, once it's on your body, it's like a chastity watch. You don't

take it off. We got a text to say that watches are his thing. That he gets himself a watch after a big fight as like a commemorative thing. And apparently Conor McGregor has over $20 million just in watches. Which is quite cool because I have read about him. He kind of, he spends money

yes, but then he buys like stuff like that to remind him of where he came from and it's like a symbol. Where did he come from? A diamond mine? No, but like a symbol of he could never have bought something like that before. But at some point you've got to go, okay, cool. I get it. I've got the symbols. How many watches do I need? But you know, whatever you want to do with your millions of dollars, we're not here to judge. We want to know your expensive watch stories this afternoon. Jen's called up. Hi, Jen. Hi, Jen. Hi. Is it you that has an expensive watch?

No. So I bought my ex-boyfriend a $550 watch for a CDS. Yeah. And then he, well, he had a, we'd planned a trip to Queenstown. Okay. And he uninvited me from the trip so he could have some deal from Wellington, come down, and my place and broke up with me. No!

You're kidding me. Had you already given him the $550 watch? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He still wears it now. No! Yeah. The worst bit would be, and I don't know if this happened, Jen. Slimy, slimy.

If he uploaded photos from Queenstown with the new girl and he's got that watch on his arm, how much of a slap in the face is that? Well, she actually didn't end up going. She cancelled because she, yeah, she had ended up getting back together with her ex, I think. Well, there's some karma, I guess. Yeah, karma's a little bit.

There's something. All right, thank you, Jen. We've got Sharon on the phone. Sharon, you've got an expensive watch phone Sharon you've got An expensive watch story Have you You've bought an expensive watch Yes I bought an expensive watch

For my Soon to be husband A few years ago Okay So was it his like Engagement present Would you say Or wedding gift

Wedding gift Okay Wedding gift And Sharon How much did you spend On hubby on his watch About four and a half thousand dollars Was it a tag Was it one of those ones We were talking about And Sharon, how much did you spend on hubby on his watch? About $4,500. Was it a tag?

Was it one of those ones we were talking about? Yeah, it was a tag. Oh, that's so cool, those watches. Yeah, but you could have got like a 2012 Mitsubishi Diamante. You could have got a Majitski. Like, you know, secondhand. No, his brother had got one, so I think he saw it and wanted one as well. Okay, so are you guys still together?

You got married and you're together? Does he wear the watch? He does, yes, he does. Okay, because that would be the only downside, right? I'd be too scared, eh? Yeah, but... He doesn't tend to wear it to work, but when we go out and stuff... I'd be terrified. Okay, so he got a $4,500 watch.

How much was your engagement ring? Not that much. You need to add some diamonds. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I'm owed. Yeah, you're owed something for sure. Not that much You need to add some diamonds Yeah Yeah Wow I'm owed Yeah you're owed something for sure

Just start adding diamonds onto your wedding band Love it okay Bree and Clint It's one of the most successful shows in the world There's been a million season All stars Christmas specials The UK got a season Emmys have been won

And after having tops and bottoms galore, Clint, we're finally getting a season down under. And to celebrate, welcome RuPaul's bestest friend in the whole world, Michelle Visage. Bring back my girls. Can you tell I watched the show, Michelle? Just a little bit. That was quite the intro.

Thank you. You're welcome. You deserve it and you need it. How excited are you to finally be bringing the show to Australia You're welcome. You deserve it and you need it. How excited are you to finally be bringing the show to Australia and New Zealand? I mean, it was only time. As you know, Roo is the biggest Aussie file. He's married to an Australian. So it's always been on the radar, you guys.

It's just a matter of scheduling and timing. And we were able to do it finally. So exciting. What are you really excited about doing while you're here in New Zealand? Because, I mean, it's a pretty special place to be. Maybe some All Blacks. It's really, it's bizarre for me as an American to be here in a COVID-free country because it's like, well, can I really take it off?

So I'm going to be that girl walking around with a mask just to warn you right now. Yeah, right. No, I love that. Are you super excited to actually be out and about in a country where you can live a normal life here? I'm going to move here. I already told my husband. I was like, this is where we belong. They have a leader with a brain.

They do everything correctly. This is where we need to be. Absolutely. We will take you in a heartbeat. Yes, please. Aw, thank you. Speaking of that leader with a brain, she's a real icon, Jacinda. Yeah.

You know, she used to be a DJ. Yeah, she was a DJ. You are lying. No, that's legit. They called her just Spindera Dern. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you guys know that I did 17 years of Breakfast Show presenting? Yeah.

What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Well, you can tell from the podcast, yeah, how good you are. There's got to be a... Oh, God. Yeah, no, don't get me started, Michelle Visage. I adore you.

Do you want to come in and co-host the show while you're here? Oh, my God, stop. I will indeed if you'd like me to. Oh, yeah. Stop. I'll pee my pants. We can work on it.

I'll wet myself. Can we? You can't wet yourself. Let's work something out. That would be fantastic, I think. Oh, my pants. I'll wet myself. Can we? You can't wet yourself. Let's work something out. That would be fantastic, I think. Oh, my God. Jacinda's got a feature in the Down Under series somehow, though. I was going to ask, Michelle, can she be one of the guest judges?

Is that possible? Are you all on a first-name basis with your prime minister? Yeah. Yeah, it's very relaxed here in New Zealand. I call her mate. Michelle, when we interview her, I'm like, how you going, mate? Brie lives up the road from there. Yeah, it's very relaxed here in New Zealand. I call her mate. Michelle, when we interview her, I'm like, how you going, mate? Brie lives up the road from there. Yeah, I do.

I actually do, yeah. Oh, that's amazing. How cool is that? Can we trade, please? So wild, isn't it? No, we can't trade. Well, the new one. We might for the new one.

The new one, yes. The new one, yes. No, the old one. I want to give you the old one, please. I don't think you can give him away. You can't pay us enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I want to give you the old one, please. I don't think you can give him away. You can't pay us enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm so excited.

Spill the tea for us on RuPaul. What is a secret that you can tell New Zealanders that no one knows about RuPaul? Well, RuPaul is going to be here hosting. So that's super important. I think a lot of people think, well, is Ru actually coming? Is Ru going to do it? Yes, it's RuPaul's Drag Race. So I am here.

RuPaul is here. And being a former radio brethren, you know that's all you're going to get out of me, kids. No, you can give us a little bit more. Come on, Michelle. It's just little old New Zealand. No one's listening. What about, obviously, Courtney Act?

You know, I'm an Aussie. Courtney Act is, you know, the Aussie that was on the show. She did so well. I think it was season six. Correct me if I'm wrong. I can't remember. Yeah, it was eight years ago. Yeah, a long time ago.

Will she feature in some way, like as a guest judge or something? Or is she coming back to do a whole other season? I don't think so, no. We've got RuPaul and we've got me. So I think that those bases are covered, babe. Well, to be honest, that's all you need in my eyes, Michelle. You and RuPaul can be good to go. Can Brie be on the show?

Because she straddles this perfectly. It's down under. It's New Zealand and Australia. Brie is an Australian who's on the radio in New Zealand. I'll wipe the pit squad down, Michelle. I'll do anything. Oh, Brie, I think you and I both should sign up for that job, yeah? Lock it in.

We'll double team them. Oh, she said that. Exactly. A couple of category ideas for you guys, New Zealand and Australia specific. I'm sure you've done your research. I'm sure you're well prepared. But what about something like Bar Bar Bad Sheep, where the contestants have to dress up like real naughty sheep?

I like that. Yeah? That's good. You are twisted, Clint. You are twisted. Yeah, okay. Is that a yes, though? A yes or a no?

It's coming from Michelle Visage. It's a yes. Cool. I love that. That's a yes for me. What about Crocodile Undie? And it's where the contestants strip down to their underwear

and they have to wrestle a live crocodile. That's a yes for me as well. That's a yes as well. Yeah, cool. I like that. And they have to wear all like materials made from, you know, fake crocodile skin That's a yes as well, yeah. Cool. I like that. And they have to wear all, like, materials made from, you know,

fake crocodile skin. Oh, fake crocodiles, yeah. As long as it's fake and no crocodiles get harmed. Yeah, that's good. Good, yeah. We can just dress someone. We can just paint someone as a crocodile and they can wrestle one of the pit crew. That'd be nice.

Yeah, fantastic. Ken Bree, can you and I dress up like the crocodile and wrestle the pit crew? See, now this is the ideas that I want to jump on board with, Michelle. Okay, yes, that works for me. This is a hot, hot TV show that's coming this way. We're talking to Michelle Visage. RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under is coming to TV and Zed On Demand. It's being filmed right here in New Zealand, which is so exciting.

I don't think you understand how big of a deal this is for me, Michelle. I've been watching the show for so many years. And I read somewhere the other day, because season 13 is currently out, and your first episode, it was the most viewed first episode of the show ever. Did you ever think the show would be as big and mahoosive of a juggernaut as what it is? Well, first of all, to go back to the first part of that sentence, that run on sentence that you just gave us, Bray, you're the biggest fan. You don't know how excited we are to be here to do it. It's a really big deal for us to get here to do it,

especially when the world's like kind of falling apart and the human has it all together. So it's, we, trust me, that is not forsaken on us we are super excited about it and did i ever expect it no because when you start something and i didn't come on board till series three because i had a um a really homophobic radio boss ironically oh my god i wasn't let out of it was year one of a five-year contract so i couldn't get out of it which is why i had to start on series three anyway that's neither here nor here nor there. For us, the way, did we ever expect, we always knew it was special. We always knew that we wanted to do something

to celebrate what our hostess does best, better than anybody else in the world, which is the art of drag. And we never expected it to be what it is today, but I'll tell you what, we are grateful for every single second that we have to be able to help these kids live their dreams. How's that homophobic radio boss going now?

Like who's winning in the grand scheme? Yeah, was he left back in 2001 where he should be? Unemployed. Yeah. The world does something well again. Yeah, I agree. Michelle, we're so excited to have you guys here. And from someone who's watched the show for years, can I just say thank you for being such an amazing ally to the LGBTQI plus community and bringing to light some really important issues over the years that I think have really changed society for the better.

So I just want to thank you so much personally for that. I appreciate that. I'm a mother to a gay daughter and I have lots of, you know, one biological daughter, but I have hundreds of thousands of gay bees out there in the world. So you do not need to thank me for being an ally. I think it's just human behavior to be an ally. So I am proud to call myself an ally, sweetheart. And you make it look

good, too. Like, you do it in such a sexy way. Yeah, you're a babe. Go on, then. Michelle Visage. Tell me more. Here to film RuPaul's Drag Race with RuPaul here in New Zealand, the Down Under edition. Thank you so much. Thank you. Talk to you soon.

Oh, you're coming in to host the show. We'll see you soon. Shante, you will stay. Thank you. I've realized that people are quite passionate about where they keep their foods, and by that I mean fridge or pantry, basically. Oh, I thought you meant like bedroom, bedside table. Stomach, mouth, upper intestine, lower intestine.

Now, it all stems from my belief that tomato sauce should go in the pantry and that cold tomato sauce is for people with cold souls. No, tomato sauce goes in the fridge, it says on the bottle. It does say that on the bottle, but when you go to a restaurant, it doesn't come out of the fridge. It's on the table and it's warm. Yeah, but they're refilling them every day. Look, I don't want to get into that yet, okay?

I'm just saying tomato sauce goes in the fridge. I believe it goes in the pantry. Anyway, and I've copped heat and I'm willing to stand my ground, but I thought, no, let's solve this with a poll, okay? Let's poll this thing. So I put it up and I said, once and my ground, but I thought, no, let's solve this with a poll. Okay, let's poll this thing. So I put it up and I said, once and for all, where does tomato sauce belong? Can we settle this thing?

This poll has had, so you know that this is statistically correct, has had over 10,000 votes and a whopping 89% of people believe tomato sauce belongs in the fridge. It says it on the bottle. It says it on the bottle. It says it on the bottle. But it's bitter out of the pantry. No, it's not.

People are like, it'll go rancid. There's so many chemicals and salt in it. It'll be fine. You know what else? If you get a hot meat pie and you put cold tomato sauce on it. It ruins the pie. It's great. No, it ruins the pie.

Because it saves your mouth from being burnt. Why do you want your cold stuff on your hot food? I like it. You might as well run your pie under a tap. I think it's a great feeling. And I saved the roof of my mouth. Okay, you and I disagree on sauce. I've got a few more categories.

Okay, that one we disagree on. I thought, let's just go for it, okay? Let's do all the controversial items. Chocolate. Where does chocolate belong? And I want you to remember that this poll is meant to be New Zealand specific. I got so many messages from people who go, it's so hot here in Australia, it has to go in the fridge.

I understand that. In New Zealand, where does chocolate go, fridge or pantry? In Australia, it goes in the fridge. In New Zealand, it goes in the pantry. Correct. I believe that's correct. Because it gets too hard in the fridge. 10,000 votes.

62% of people said pantry. Yeah. So, yep, that's good. We're fine there. One of the other controversial items, butter. Now, this butter, I need you to understand, this is directed at people who use butter instead of margarine on their toast and their sandwiches.

You're spreading butter. Yes. So where do you keep your butter? I keep it in the fridge because I buy the specific soft butter. Spreadable butter. Spreadable butter. So where do you keep your butter? I keep it in the fridge because I buy the specific soft butter. Spreadable butter. But I don't disagree with people who keep it out as well.

I have done that before too and I don't mind it. Just keep a chunk out. But in summer, let's say, it does melt a lot. You've got to keep a little bit less out and use it fast. 64% of people want their butter in the fridge. Yeah.

Bread. Fridge or pantry? That's pantry. Fridge. More than fridge. Freezer. Bread should be in the freezer. I hate bread in the freezer.

I only make toast with bread. Well, that's okay. But like, if you're defrosting that bread, it's never the same. 64% of people keep their bread in the pantry. Yeah, that makes sense. Eggs, where do you keep your eggs? Fridge. Yeah, I keep them in the fridge too. I find it so weird.

It's gross to me that they go on the bench. And how weird is it when you go to the supermarket and they're in one of the aisles and not in the fridge? Yeah, but this is what someone pointed out to me. Supermarkets are temperature controlled. The whole supermarket is a constant temperature. They know that supermarkets are never going to be above a certain temperature.

This one was as close to 50-50 as we got. 53% of people believe eggs belong in the fridge and 47 pantry, so about half and half. And one bonus one, where does red wine belong? In the fridge. No, it doesn't. Stand by it. Chilled red wine belong? In the fridge. I stand by it. Chilled red wine. It'll change your life

and don't make me get out the messages. I had one good glass over summer. It was a really hot day. You messaged me and said I just had a chilled glass of red wine and I think you might be right. 88% of people said red wine belongs in the pantry. 12% of people said red wine belongs in the fridge and I got about 100

DMs from people saying red wine belongs in the fridge and I got about 100 DMs from people saying red wine belongs in the bin. Yeah, fair. Yeah. We're divided on these topics, folks. We agree on a few, you and I. Yeah, it must be hard to share a kitchen with your flatmates in some places. Does it feel the same for you? Bree and Clint.

I think I have found the story of the worst first date ever recorded in history, Clint. Fantastic. It's really not good and it's coming out of America and it's been in the last couple of weeks that this has happened. The 6th of January was the day. A woman by the name of Jenna Ryan, she's 50 years old, she's a real estate agent and a radio show host. Right, okay.

She was asked by a man on Facebook on a date and if she'd like to join him on this first date on a private plane. Wow, okay. Which I mean, good so far, right? Yeah. He then continued to ask her if she would like to fly to Washington. Oh, no, I know what it is. To attend the Trump rally.

No, he invited her to storm the Capitol on their first date. That's correct. No. And wait, the story gets more interesting. Yeah. She said yes. Well. I'm keen. Yeah. She said yes. Wow. I'm keen.

I'm ready to go. Maybe that was her New Year's resolution, like, yes, man. She's like, okay, I'm going to take these opportunities. Just whatever comes my way. I'm not a trumper, but I'll just do it for the experience. So I think she was. And anyway, so the date on January 6th, she went, she flew on the plane, and she stormed the Capitol, and she live- streamed the whole thing as she stormed the Capitol.

Good. And the footage of her live streaming, her date and going into the Capitol later got shared with the FBI and got used against her. And she was arrested last Friday on charges of disorderly conduct and entering a restricted area. Yeah. And it doesn't stop there. Yeah.

The guy who invited her also ditched her and got with another woman. No! That's the perfect ending to the perfect story. God bless America. Yeah, right? Well, she deserves it. She deserves everything she got. Apparently she was like, oh. Yeah, right. Well, she deserves it. She deserves everything she got. Apparently she was like, oh.

I got dumped storming the Capitol at a Trump rally. And now I'm going to prison. I think that's going to be hard to beat this afternoon. That's hard to top. But we would love you to try. We want to hear about this afternoon. Worst first dates. I feel like there will be quite a few that maybe happened over the holiday break. There'll be ones that are more awkward than that.

Yeah. There'll be ones that are just like, what were you thinking? Remember at the end of last year, we talked to that lady who the guy, a Tinder date for a first date, took her to a cemetery. No, he took her to a cemetery to meet his dad. Was it his dad? I think so. His late father, yeah. On the first date. He's like, it's time to meet my dad

at the cemetery. On the first date. Oh, 800 dials at him. Can you top it? What was the worst date? The worst first date you've ever had? Yeah. Doesn't even have to be first. Nah, just worst date you've ever had? Yeah. It doesn't even have to be first. Nah, just worst date you've ever had.

Give us a call or you can text 9696. We're looking for the worst date stories in New Zealand after a story has come out about a woman who said for the first date she got asked by a man on Facebook, she'd been talking to him, to get on a private plane and fly to Washington. Wow. Where she would join him at the Trump rally and storm the Capitol together.

She obliged, went, and then he dumped her at the rally for another woman. And she's been arrested by the FBI. She's going to prison. So, look, the bar is really really high or is the bar really low? Don't really understand. But we're looking for the worst first date story. Sarah's caught

up. Hi, Sarah. Hi, Sarah. Hi, there. What happened, Sarah? What went down? Yours is good. So I went so he picked me up from my home and five minutes in a cop pulled us over, and he turned out to be on his restricted. So the cop ended up letting us drive to his house,

and he told me after to walk home. And then said that he'd rearranged for another date, and I was not keen. You didn't give him a second date? No. Did you feel bad for the guy? How old was he? Well, I thought he was 19, but it must have been like 18 or something. Couldn't you have told the police officer you were his guardian

and that you were... You're like, officer, I'm his mother. I'm taking him for a lesson. Yeah, shut up. I look very young for my age. Okay, good. Well, congratulations on no second date. That's good from you.

There's some really good texts coming through on worst dates ever. Someone said, I got proposed to on a first date. What? A first date. What? Run. Run fast. Very quickly.

The troubling thing about that message is that's where it stops. I know. They might have said yes. I need to know more. We need to said yes. I need to know more. We need to know more. I need to know more. Someone else said, it wasn't a first date, but I got into bed with a guy who I really liked,

but it was just before things really started to heat up that he let out a big Tarzan-like scream. So do the scream. Where he beats his chest and he goes, Oh! So do the scream Where he beats his chest and he goes And then she writes That was the last time I saw him You, I, Tarzan You, Jane

Oh man This person wants to remain anonymous Hello Anonymous What went down Anonymous? What happened? So I met this guy on Tinder I want to remain anonymous. Hello, Anonymous. Hello. Hi. What went down, Anonymous? What happened? So I met this guy on Tinder and I thought, oh, yeah, I'll give him a first date. Yeah.

For our first date, we went up to Christchurch's Port Hills in his souped-up Subi. Nice. Yeah, with the subwoofers. Blow-off valve. Yeah, it was pretty noisy. Wait, this wasn't Producer Ben, was it? He's got a Subaru and he's from Christchurch. Did he impress you? Can assure you it definitely wasn't him.

So anyway, this guy took me up the hill and he was showing off, trying to drop some patches, do some skids. Oh, no. This is the first date, right? Yeah, first date. He came around the corner too fast, hit a patch of glass,

popped his tyre and skidded off the edge of the cliff. No! What? Were you in the car? Yeah. What happened? Obviously, you both were okay. Yeah, so the whole car didn't go off,

just the two front tyres. So he managed to put it in neutral and push it back, get his car into the middle of the road and change the tyre. He put a space saver on. And then he drove like a nana the entire way down the hill. And blamed me. Blamed you.

It gets so much worse. And then he, on the way down, he was driving like a nana, but with his phone between his knees, Snapchatting back these other girls while he was right next to me. Are you kidding? What is this going up to? Would you say anonymous? Yeah, what else?

Now, obviously, there's more. There's more. We got to the bottom of the hill right near the roundabout where the Domino's is now. And he pulled over and said, oh, can you get a cab? I've got to go and fix my tyre. No!

Anonymous? Yeah. You know the good thing about this whole thing though is that you can really pinpoint where the date went downhill. It was still going uphill until... When the Subaru went off the cliff. I tell you what, Anonymous, it could have been worse. It could have given you an STI and his STI. Yeah.

And that would not imprison you much. Oh, definitely not. Thank you, Anonymous. You've been the best caller of the day. That was great. What a story. Bree and Clint. M.A.

It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Bree and Clint's birthday banger. All right, welcome. If you're new to our show this year, we do this every day at this time where we get three of you on. We figure out what was number one on your 16th birthdays. Then we play the best song in full. First up to play birthday banger is Maddie.

Hey, Maddie. Hi, Maddie. Hi. Hi, guys. How are you doing? Good. How are you, mate? Yeah, good, thanks.

That's good. Just on my way home from work. Lovely. Well, let's throw a birthday banger in there for you. I'm not sure we've got Maddie's one. We might have to come back to Maddie. I'm just looking at the songs we've got down the bottom. Maddie, we're going to bang you on hold and we'll come back to you, okay?

Hang on a second. Let's go to Michael. Hi, Michael. G'day, Mike. Hey, guys. How you going? Good, mate. How are you?

Not too bad. Excellent. Michael, what's your birthday? 12th of June, 1996. Right. You were 16 in 2012 birthday? 12th of June, 1996. Right. You were 16 in 2012 on the 12th of June. And, Michael, this is your birthday banger. I'm out of piss.

I'm trying to go home. Oh, no. Banger. No. You're Maroon 5. Michael, how gutted are you to get Maroon 5 as your birthday banger? That takes me back to high school, man. That's a banger.

Banger. Oh, I guess if this is the Wiz Khalifa version, it's okay. Why do you have such a thing against Maroon 5? I actually quite like Maroon 5. Yeah. They're just so middle of the road. That's not what you say behind the scenes here. No, I do like Maroon 5.

I told you I bought songs for Jane on CD, okay? So you love Moves Like Jenga? No, I hate Moves Like Jenga more than anything. No, I do like Maroon 5. I told you I bought songs for Jane on CD, okay? So you love Moves Like Jenga? No, I hate Moves Like Jenga more than anything. See, I mean... I just... It's your big birthday banger. You want it to be exciting,

you know? I'm a, I'm a... But Michael likes it and that's all that matters, okay, Michael? Yeah, I'm glad Michael likes it. I like it. Wait there.

Linda. Hi, Linda. Hi, Linda. Hello. Welcome to the show. Thank you. I've always wanted to do this just to give you guys a laugh. You might not even hear myself.

Oh, you reckon? Of course we'll have it. And I bet I've got a feeling it'll be a good one. Let's start with your birthday. It's the 21st of October, 1952. Oh, no, you're right. We don't have it. Oh, no.

They didn't have music back then. It doesn't go back that far. Oh, we, you're right. We don't have it. Oh, no. They didn't have music back then. It doesn't go back that far. Oh, we're just kidding, Linda. You were 16. In the 60s and 1968 on the 21st of October, this was top in the charts. Hey, Jude. Oh, my God.

Banger. What a classic. The Beatles. Linda, did you ever think you called up for a laugh and you've got an absolute stonker? What a classic. That Beatles movie is coming out this year. Sir Peter Jackson has got his hands on like 65 hours

of never before seen Beatles footage. Maybe 2021 is the year ZM finally plays the Beatles. I loved that movie yesterday. Have you seen that Linda? It came out like last year or the year before? No. It's so good. It's all about the old Beatles catalogue and in one part it's

Sheeran tells the guy to change it from Hey Jude to Hey Dude. Hey Dude. Very good movie. Okay, wait there. We'll get Maddie back. Maddie, we've sorted it out now. Are you still with us?

I am, hi. Yay, she's back. All right, let's start with your birthday, Maddie. Okay, it's the 4th of August, 98. All right, you were 16 in 2014 on the 4th of August. And Maddie, we finally got it. Here's your birthday banger. Magic and rude.

I love this song. Do you like it, Maddie? I mean, it's not bad, but it's not the best one I've heard. What would you pick out of the three today, Maddie? Probably Hayden. Maroon 5. What? you pick out of the three today, Maddie? Probably Hey Jude. Maroon 5. What? Not Maroon 5 over the Beatles.

Come on. I'm joking. I'm picking the Beatles. I'm picking the Beatles. Maddie, you picking the Beatles? I sure am. This is the first time we've ever played the Beatles on this segment. Linda, you want to hear the Beatles?

All right. Let's do it. Here we go. The winner of Birthday Banger For Linda Is the Beatles And Hey Jude It's Brie and Clint Send them Thanks Ben Take a sad song

And make it better Remember To let her into your heart Then you can start To make it better Hey Jude Don't be afraid You were made to

Go out and get her The minute you let her under your skin Then you begin to make it better And anytime you feel the pain Hey Jude, refrain Don't carry the world Up on your shoulders For well you know that it's a fool

Who plays it cool By making this world A little colder. Na, na, na, na, na. Na, na, na, na. Hey, June. Don't let me down. You have found her.

Now go and get her Remember to let her into your heart Then you can start to make it better So let it out and let it in Hey Jude, begin You're waiting for someone To perform with And don't you know that it's just you

Hey Jude, you do The woman you need is on your shoulder. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, yeah. Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her under your skin. Then you begin to make it better. Better, better, better, better

I'll make it Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah La, la, la, la La, la, la, la I'll make it La, la, la La, la, la, la Thank you. ZM, Brian Clint, the winner of Birthday Banger, you are listening to ZM, by the way, for Linda, is The Beatles and Hey Jude.

Because we can. Just thought we'd get them on just because, I mean, we're back for a new year And Stevie missed us Just check in with us Ross Boss Are you there?

We're either doing Something incredibly right Or incredibly wrong With our station That Linda Who I assume Went to school With my mother

Yeah Is ringing up For this Shtick That we're still doing Hey it's not a shtick mate This is semi-award Nominated content Didn't Linda sound Like a top bird though? this shtick that we're still doing. Hey, it's not a shtick, mate. This is semi-award nominated content.

Didn't Linda sound like a top bird, though? I couldn't hear her over a hearing aid. Careful. Careful. You leave Linda alone. I'm sure Linda's very lovely

and I'm sure she'll enjoy Britain's My Mum on Sunday. We appreciate every listener that listens to this show. Yeah, we will take what we can get. Exactly. Do you approve

of the Beatles being played on ZM and birthday banger Ross Boss? I approve of personally hearing the Beatles. Well, you can't

have it both ways, mate. Someone texted through and they said tell Ross to stop being a Karen and leave Linda alone. All right. I'm glad you said Karen because I thought you were going to say something else

instead of a Karen. Hey, we've got to go. We've got to. We've got to. I can't stay around my father. Yeah, let him go. We've got to go anyway. We've got a Rolling Stones triple play to do after the break. Oh, cool, cool. Yeah, let him go. We've got to go anyway. We've got a Rolling Stones triple play to do after the break.

Oh, cool, cool. Yeah, nice. Bree and Clint. I've been doing a thing, Clint, on my Instagram over the last, oh, it's been for a few weeks. I do it every now and then where I ask people that follow me to share their deepest and darkest secrets. Yeah, you get some juicy stuff.

Like anonymously, like no, like. Because you then share it to your story, but you don't include their name or anything. No, no names or anything ever. But yeah, some real like juicy, sometimes dark, sometimes saucy, like heaps of secrets. Some of them I see them and I'm like, you shouldn't be proud of that thing.

Yeah. Like I hope you're not proud of what you're sending them. Which I don't think everyone that writes in is proud, but they're like, this is my secret. Oh true, this is the biggest secret I have. This is what it is. Anyway, I thought, well you said you would like to talk about a few of them on the show. I want to hear some of the most interesting ones you've got. And I know some of them aren't safe for the radio, so. There's a few interesting ones that I've pulled out that we can talk about. Okay, cool. These are some of the, yeah, some of interesting ones that I've pulled out that we can talk about. Okay, cool.

These are some of the submissions that I've got on strangers sharing their deepest and darkest secrets. Someone said, I've been in a relationship for three years with my girlfriend. She thinks I'm a vegan. I actually eat meat every day. That's a big secret to keep from your significant other. You're in way too deep. How do you think they got to that place?

He went along with her idea to become vegan at the start. No. No. I think she was vegan. She was vegan and she was hot so he went, I'm vegan too. I'm vegan too, yeah. Yeah. And that's the way he connected with her.

And he may have tried to be vegan and he went, it's not for me but she's so hot. I'll just have Maccas on the way to work. Yeah. Maybe. Okay, yeah. Do you ever think he could get caught? Yep. Yeah.

You could easily slip up. Yeah. Go to a barbecue and someone chucks you a sausage and you just tuck into it and she's like, ah, babe, that's not tofu. I'd love to get an update from that person. Yeah. How they do it or if they've ever come close to being caught.

Someone else said, I told my husband that periods last for two weeks. So we have two weeks of fun and then I have two weeks off. You can't tell me that that guy doesn't know that that is not

true. Nah, you would know if you've got the kind of husband who would believe you. Who would fall for that. Yeah. I mean, she's a genius. I mean, you put the hard work in. If you've got the kind of husband who is grossed out by periods, just tell him whatever you want. He'll go, oh, whatever, I don't want to hear it.

That's fine, you just deal with it. Tell me when you're ready. I'll go sleep in the spare bed. You can have some time off. I like that idea. Someone else said, I found out my mum is cheating, but I haven't said anything. Oh, that's horrible.

That's really rough, isn't it? Not so much that your mum's cheating. It's horrible that you have to hold that secret. The worst part is that the way this person wrote this answer is that I don't think the mum knows either That they know So then what do you do You confront the mum That's what I would do

I don't want to think about my mum Depends on your relationship with your dad to be honest Like if you care about dad Then yeah you should say something to mum But shouldn't you give your mum the opportunity first Where you're like hey mum I know about this You need to tell dad You just don't need it on your conscience That's the problem Shouldn't you give your mum the opportunity first? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where you're like, hey, mum, I know about this. I know this thing. You need to tell dad.

You just don't need it on your conscience. No. That's the problem. I wonder how, like, how did she find out? Oh. I don't want to know. Mum would have gone, oh, I can't get into my iCloud. Can you help?

Oh, no. And she would have seen the messages or the photos or something. It would have been millennials helping boomers with their tech. Always the way. And you will have found their secrets. That's how it always comes out. These are secrets that strangers have sent me on Instagram. Someone else said, I've been with my boyfriend for three years

and right at the start he made it clear that I was forbidden to fart in front of him. They then go on to say, it's been three years and I feel sick. I love the word forbidden. I forbid it. I'd leave him. I forbid it. I would actually leave that guy if I was him.

You would, yeah. No, I would because, I mean. You need to because if you didn't, you would explode. I would no longer be here. You'd be the first case of spontaneous human combustion recorded in New Zealand since the 1940s. Too much hot air. You know, as a retired DJ like yourself.

Semi-retired. Semi-retired. We're actually doing a wedding in two weeks. Is that the first gig in like two years? Yeah. But congratulations. Semi-retired. Semi-retired. Just keeping my finger in the pool. One day, I the first gig in like two years? Yeah. Yeah. But congratulations. Semi-retired. Semi-retired.

Just keeping my finger in the pool. One day, I've said this to Anastasia, one day I'll chop her into RMV for one more gig. One more gig. One more gig. In your dream.

One more gig. Maybe. One more gig. You mean the first time you played RMV? What? Have you played there before once? Yeah.

Yeah, so why would you, you need to move on. You gotta go bigger. Big dreams yeah bigger go bay dreams main stage well as a as a semi-retired dj you should know uh what songs are relaxing for your audience don't do relaxing sorry no you have to an emergency dj clint show is high energy you get all the time you're gonna have something when you want to get the crowd out and you want to wrap the party up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's closing time.

You go to closing time. This might be good for you because there's a research team who have analysed more than 2,200 songs that feature in Spotify playlists with the words relax, relaxing, chill or chillin. So from essentially they're trying to find the most relaxing music. Right. Okay. So you should be able to pick it.

So what we're going to do this afternoon, I've got five options and no, wait, I've got six options all you have to do is tell me what you think uh through science science and stuff was the most relaxing song got it okay got it okay first one uh maroon five sunday morning vintage maroon five i actually like this maroon five sounds relaxing sounds relaxing yep Vintage Maroon 5 I actually like this Maroon 5 Sounds relaxing to me Sounds relaxing yeah Or was it

Ariana Grande This has got a vibe You know this is It's kind of like chill isn't it Is that what I think of As go to relaxing music Yeah But yeah maybe

Okay sure what else you got Was it This banger Isn't it? Is that what I think of as go-to relaxing music? Yeah. But yeah, maybe. Okay, sure. What else you got? Was it this banger? No, I feel like I am. I feel like I'm having some kind of American military music psychological torture. Okay, cool. Yeah, what else have you got? It still could be it.

Okay, here's your fourth option. Lewis Capaldi. No. This is not relaxing because I've heard it so many times that now when I hear it, it makes me angry. And there's nothing relaxing about being angry. Lewis Capaldi is someone you loved. Love Lewis Capaldi. Don't want to hear that.

The last option, and this is from an actual study where they were on the hunt to find the most relaxing song. Was it a bit of Celine Dion? Every night in my dreams, I see you. I feel you. This is not Celine Dion again. That is how this is not. Well, judging from

how I feel right now, I don't think I'm relaxed. Harry, more music. More music. Far across the distance. I was a different person when I recorded this, okay? Get it off. Sometimes it's good to revisit, you know.

All right, out of those. What's the answer? Out of those. I don't know. Is it Maroon 5 Sunday morning? Yeah, it's Maroon 5. Ariana Grande. Yeah, no, it's Maroon 5.

You're locking in Maroon 5 Sunday morning as the most relaxing song according to a study. Yeah. You're wrong. It's definitely Celine Dion. Is it? No, I'm kidding. I just wanted you to play that song again. Every night in my dreams, I see you.

But it's actually Lewis Capaldi. That is how. This is a lose-lose break. Honestly, there's nothing in this for me. Bree and Clint. Look, I spend a lot of time on the interwebs, you know, just looking at things, filling my brain with knowledge, and sometimes I feel like I'm led astray.

Okay. Because there's something, you know, where you look at it and you go, oh, I don't think that's true. Oh, like you said, we talked about injecting the COVID vaccine directly into your Johnson. At this exact time yesterday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's one of we talked about injecting the COVID vaccine directly into your Johnson. At this exact time yesterday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's one of those things where I'm like, I call BS on this.

Good, it's good to be sceptical on the internet. On this particular one, I can't really answer because I don't have the equipment to answer the question, so I don't know. Do I have the equipment? Well, I think you might. Right. But I've never seen it. Oh, but I've got another baby coming on the way, so I must have the equipment? Well, I think you might. Right. But I've never seen it.

I've got another baby coming on the way so I must have the equipment. Yeah, you might. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I saw this on the internet and then I want to get your opinion afterwards. Sure, I can do that. So take a listen to this.

Okay, here we go. This... What are you doing in the bathroom and why the f*** is it taking you that long to poop? Boners. We get boners from pooping so we wait it out until that boner goes away by itself we don't want to walk out and have you be like hey is that a boner please tell me that is not the reason why men are so long in the toilet

um no i can only speak for myself here i'm gonna bring answering like gingerly because i because and why men are so long in the toilet? No. I can only speak for myself here. Why are you answering like gingerly? Because I've never pooped with another man, so I can only speak for myself. I'll bring in my male affiliate here, Producer Ben. Does that audio have any truth? Poop bone is not a thing, right?

No. No. I don't know how you'd be able to do it. Why would he say that then? I think it's just a joke. Is it a joke or is he trying to cover up what he's really doing yeah possibly because i'll just want to tell you now if you think that we're doing naughty stuff in there is that where you maybe think that's happening no i think because people who mix that and going number twos those people are gross i don't think that if you may be just trying to work out why guys actually do spend so much time.

No, why are you spending so much time in the bathroom? Well, just because we're on the phone, probably. Like, to be honest, one of my flatmates, and I don't want to call him out, in our household we call him poo boy, spends so long. Is it like a relaxing thing? Yeah, it's a break. Is it a time where you get time to yourself or something? Yeah, that's what it is.

Is that what it is? So you'll be scrolling or you'll be simple read in there. Maybe you just have some time with your thoughts. Well, it's either that. I've got a speaker in my bathroom. We've got Spotify in there. That's right. Yeah.

It's either that or you're just all violently constipated. We're squeezing. We're straining. We're pushing. I'm going to say it's the latter. Not me. ZM Sp Free in Clint

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