ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – 1st August 2022

Episode Date: August 1, 2022

Pax Assadi AND Guy Montgomery join the show You gotta stop stalking your ex Who is the worst celeb polluter? What did your flatmate use? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network Hi everybody, welcome to the Brian Clint Podcast. Can I start with a complaint? Oh, I love that. Yes, you have the floor. You know what I find really annoying? A lot of things. When you get an email from a company

and they've written, they're like, Dear Clint, your account blah blah blah, you need to do blah blah blah, do not reply to this email. And I'm like well excuse me mother fluffer, you emailed me. So why can't

I email you? And the email address is donotreply at company.com and I'm like alright, I had one today they emailed me, apparently I bought a website at some stage in my life, like a domain name. What domain?

I don't remember doing it. Maybe it was for B-School. You had to do that, B-School. Maybe. Oh, was that when you bought the webpage Clitoris? Did you actually? He did. Because he was going to start his own webpage.

Excuse me, I did not. Clint-oris. Clint-oris. It was a website for people named Clint who were also Tauruses. It's literally just one letter in it. Like if you mess that one letter up. I hear that website's hard to find though. It's super hard to find.

Google can't even find it. Anyway, so this domains company emailed me today saying, hey, your domain name is expiring. Their email address was customercareatcompany.com. So you can reply. So I'm like, oh, customercare, I'll reply. And it came back with, this website is not checked or something. I was like, up yours.

I just hate emails, if I'm honest. I'm so bad at them. I hate them. I always lose them. How many unread emails do you have right now? Oh. I'm going bad at them. I hate them. I always lose them. How many unread emails do you have right now? Oh. Do you want to do this? Personal or work ones?

I'm looking at personal. I don't want you to know how many unread work ones I have. Yeah, that's too early for that. I've got my personal Gmail. Incriminating. Unread currently, I'll go first, 120. Oh, that's all good. That's nothing.

Oh, I don't think we need to read that. Yeah, I don't think we need to. If that's all good. That's nothing. I don't think we need to read that. I don't think it's a benchmark. I'll go. What's the first number of yours? One. Same. Two. What's the second number of yours, Bree? Five.

Okay, two. So I'm currently in third place. Oh, me? I'm three. Whoa. But hey, depends if it's a- Hang on, hang on, hang on. Is it bad that our web expert, our social media manager,

has over 2,500 unread emails? What she does in her spare time is none of our business. Is it 2,500 or is it 200 and something? No, two and a half. Don't worry. Mine's 1,576. Okay. Mine's 1,247.

It's all good. It's all good. You'll hear some theorizing from us on... Wait, I've got to read out this number. Go on. Unread text messages. Oh, I hate that. Really?

Unread text messages. Text messages. Unread text messages. Oh, I hate that. Really? I hate unread text messages. Text messages. Unread text messages. Mine, 169. Nice. Text messages. Yeah. Those are important.

Those are important. Yeah, that does annoy me. Okay, do you want to, let's see what an unread text message is that I haven't read. It says, help. I mean, one's from my, I missed a call, so that's one. Let's go to another one. Stranded in the middle. Okay, we don't need to read that.

Hey, producer Ella's off for six weeks. She's going to Europe, aren't you, Ella? Wait, is it six weeks? No, no, no, it's four and a bit. Four and a bit. I thought it was four. Yeah, four and a bit. I'm sad to go so soon after starting the job.

Like, I really love this job. But. See you later. See you later. Send me heaps of pictures of pasta. Yes, I will. Just go to Italy. And pizza.

Oh, yeah. In Napoli. Are you going to Gay Parry? What's that? Paris? I'm going to Paris, yeah. Are you going to Napoli? No.

Are you going to old London town? Are you going to old London town? Yes going to London Venice? Yeah Florence? Italy? Oh Florence is beautiful I love Florence

Give me some tips as well I've never been overseas like without my mum Take your passport I'm scared I'll ask my partner I mean she was on the super yachts over there

Oh wow Five years So she knows all the best spots Damn My advice for you I've been to all the places you're going. Yeah? Learn the basic words you need. For Italy and Paris, learn hello, goodbye, thank you, please, how much, and those things.

So I can give you the Italian ones. Go on. So hello is testa da minchia. No, it's not. Testa da minchia. Is it actually minchia. No, it's not. Testa da minchia. Is it actually? It is. No, it is.

Well, that depends where you are. Testa da minchia. That's close. I do not know. And in French, the one you want for hello, it's merd let it. Okay, that's what you want. And to say goodbye in Italian, fanguro. It sounds real.

I don't believe you. I'm not saying it. Fanguro. No, that one's real. That one's real. And in England If you want to say Goodbye or hello

Yeah It's um Well hello D That I can do We'll see you in Four and a half Maybe five weeks Wait is today

She said tomorrow Wait she said tomorrow My thing says It's your last day today No that's just a reminder For tomorrow Yeah tomorrow Don't worry

We'll do a goodbye It's so that you get her a present You're reminding me today that your last day is tomorrow. No, your phone is. High maintenance. I'm going to get you one of those travel bags that you have to strap to your body. Oh, a fanny pack. Yeah. No, no, not

a fanny pack. Security one. The security fanny pack. The flat ones. So they can't rob you. And their skin colour. Alright, do you guys want me to get you some choccy? Yes, please. From where? Everywhere.

Switzerland. Yes. Don't forget to declare it on the way back. Can I just send it if I'm there? Oh, yeah. It's so expensive, though. Oh, yeah. All right.

You better send it while you're there. It's a work expense. Okay. Enjoy the podcast, everybody. Forget everything I just said. Ella will be here tomorrow. Bye. See you tomorrow. I'm coming in.

Well, howdy, pilgrim. What time is it? Three, two, one. It is Brinkland. Afternoon, everybody. Welcome to the show. It's Brinkland. Did I hear that right?

Have the Commonwealth Games started? Yeah, they started last week. What is going on? It's raining gold medals for New Zealand in the Commonwealth Games at the moment. How come I haven't seen anything on TV? Oh, I don't know. Maybe you're, I don't know. Australia's doing bloody well.

I think they're in first place. I love watching the Commonwealth Games. I'm a devo. What's the best wins New Zealand's I love watching the Commonwealth Games. I'm a Devo. What's the best wins New Zealand's had so far? Oh, we've had some swimming medals. We've had some... Oh, don't put me on the spot here. I'll just put it this way, Brie.

Some archery. Overnight, a lot of gold for New Zealand. This is the headline I'm predicting for the papers in the morning. Golden showers. No, I don't know if they're going to. New Zealand athletes experience golden showers. Yeah. I don't know if journalists will go for it.

Hey, you never know. You never know. You never know. I don't work for the Herald. Well, good on them. I can't wait to go home and try and find out how I can watch some of it. Yeah. Yeah.

Get amongst. I need to get amongst it. Commonwealth Games. Today on the show, are we sending anyone else along to our Love Island party or are we full? No, we're going to send some more people. Okay, it's going down on Wednesday. I didn't even see last night's episode. I'm behind.

Oh, you, I mean, look. Not much happens, eh? Nah, they go on their final dates. Everyone's nice to each other. There's not really any drama. Although, there is a bit of drama because one more couple, I believe, gets voted out before the end. Right, okay.

So that has to happen at some point before Wednesday. Well, we're going to show the grand final in a bar in Auckland in the Viaduct. It's called the Lula Inn. And if you go and register at ZM Online, we could call you at 5 o'clock this afternoon and tell you you're coming and sitting at a VIP table to watch the Loveaduct. It's called the Lula Inn. And if you go and register at ZM Online, we could call you at five o'clock this afternoon and tell you you're coming and sitting at a VIP table to watch the Love Island finale.

That's right. But you can also just come along, bring as many people as you like, and we'll see you on Wednesday night at the Lula Inn. It's free. Bree and Clint. Bree and Clint. Tradie versus Lady.

Right, it's time to kick off Tradie vs. Lady. The Tradies had quite a few wins last week and extended their lead to 67, plays the Ladies sitting at 51. They're dominating. They're going well. They are absolutely dominating. Maybe the Tradies have an advantage

because we can have Lady Tradies playing. We've had some great Lady Tradies. We've had no men cross over into the ladies team though. You know what I mean? I know what you mean. Anyway, let's meet our contestant today. Our lady is 39. She's from the Garden City and she is a bubbly mum of two teens.

Welcome to the show. It's Sharia. G'day. Hi. Hi, Sharia. Sharia or Saraya? Saraya. Saraya. Thataria. Sharia. That's a cool name. Sharia. I like it.

Hey, how old are your kids? 14 and 13. Oh, they're close together, aren't they? There you go. Okay, you're taking on our tradie today. He's 24. He's also from Christchurch, and he is a human Shazam. Oh, you better get the music question correct then.

Welcome to the show. It's Hayden. G'day, Hayden. G'day, team. How are you? Good, thanks. It sounds like you should be calling up for the one-second song challenge, mate. Oh, I try it all the time, but you never answer my calls.

Oh, we'll have to get you on. We'll have to get you on. Yeah, okay. Hayden, your buzzer is tradie. Sherea, yours is lady. First person to give us three correct answers is going home with $50 cash from KFC. Good luck. Here we go, guys.

Question number one. How many main members were there in the group Destiny's Child? Brady. Hayden. Three. Three is correct. Obviously, Kelly, Beyonce. And what's the other one, Clint?

Michelle. Good. Don't forget Michelle. The elevator one. The elevator one? No, that's Michelle. Good. Don't forget Michelle. The elevator one. The elevator one? No, that's Solange. That's Beyonce's sister. Uh-oh.

Hey, it doesn't matter. You got the question right and that's all you need. One to the tradies. Question number two. The elevator one. You know, the elevator album. Yeah. Will Smith has released an apology video after he slapped Chris Rock

roughly about three months ago at the Oscars. Name a Will Smith movie. Lady. Yes, Sharia. Oh, my God. Movie. Will Smith movie. Lady.

We'll give her a second. Hayden, we'll give her three, two, one. Hayden. I Am Legend. There youden. I Am Legend. There you go. I Am Legend, one of my favourite Will Smith movies. Sherea, what about Men in Black? I know.

Or Wild Wild West. The Pursuit of Happiness. Or Hitch. Or that horrible movie he did with his son about space. Sorry, lady. Sherea, I love you. Question number three. You can still come back here.

We've seen people do it. The Commonwealth Games are on at the moment. What colour uniform do the Canadian athletes wear? Tideys. Yes, Hayden, for the win. I'm going to take a guess. Is it red? It is red.

Congratulations. You've won. Hayden, has anyone told you for a 24-year-old you've got a very deep manly voice? It comes with the job. Yeah, right. Sorry, Sherea, no win today, mate. Sorry, mate. All calls, sorry, ladies.

Next time. Sherea. Bree and Clint. I want to talk middle names. Oh, yeah, Paul is mine. Paul is yours. Very stock standard white guy middle name. Very, you know, neutral, bland, a little bit bland.

Hey, excuse me, that's my father's middle name. Hey, I've got a bland middle name too. I'm named after my dad. It was bland. I said to dad, dad, why Paul? Why do we share the middle name Paul? I was waiting for this great story about an ancestor of ours named Paul who had done great things and he said to me, I don't know. That's just what mine is. I was waiting for this great story about an ancestor of ours named Paul who had done great things and he said

to me, I don't know. It's just what mine is. I don't know. It's what mine is. It was my name so it's your name. I've got my dad's, I'm named after my dad so mine's Brianna Stephen. Is it really? I'm kidding. My middle name's Stephanie after my dad Stephen. Well it's

not Stephanie isn't it? It's Stepheny. Stepheny. Stepheny. Like Antigone on Love Island. Yeah. Hey, I want to talk about middle names because I've come across this story that will blow your mind. Because you know when you meet people and sometimes they have more than one middle name.

Like John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. Yeah, exactly. And I mean, not totally uncommon for someone to have two middle names. My daughter's got two middle names. Yeah, not super uncommon, is it? No. But what about... More than two feels a bit greedy though.

What about 27? 27? Middle names. 27? You wait. So there's this story out where this couple are talking about how their son has 27 middle names and there's a reason for it, right? They never want him to travel. Yeah, well, you know, that's a good reason.

Can you imagine the passport? Imagine him trying to fill out the immigration document. Imagine trying to fill out any document. My first and middle name don't fit usually. Imagine him trying to put them all on there. So anyway, they came up with this idea that they wanted their son to have the choice of a name as he grew up. That's fine.

Don't give him a name then. Right. Well, that's a bit strange. No, just leave it as a blank space and he'll write his name. We just call you boy and then you decide. No, don't give him a middle name is what I mean. And just say that's for you to choose when you're ready. And he's

five and he's like, I want it to be Action Man. No, I think they meant like he gets to pick his name name. And he can pick it from his middle name. So this is how they did it. This kid's going to have an identity crisis. Well, they gave him his first name, which is Rain.

That's his name. And they decided the way they would. His name is Rain. That's his name. His name again is Rain. Wasn't it, isn't it Kourtney Kardashian's son? Yeah, that's Rain, like R-E-I-G-N. Yeah, Rain.

Anyway, so then they decided that the way they'd get all the other names is they would ask all their best friends to contribute a middle name. This is a true story. What a cluster. So anyway, that's what happened. Do you want to hear some of the ones, some of the middle names? No, I dislike this family immensely. Nah, you're going to hear them.

So these are some of the middle names that they could remember, but they've forgotten some of them. Go on then. So Rain has a choice of Storm, Thunder. Wait, wait, wait. Sorry, hang on. Stop. So are these his middle names?

Yes. So these are all listed as his middle names? Yes. And then he gets to whittle it down to one when he feels like it. He gets to pick when he's older. Okay. Yeah. All right. So storm, thunder, cloud, fire, flight, Ambrose, Elijah, bird, hawk, wind, ocean, and food.

Food. They gave up by the end, eh? Someone, well, whoever suggested that one was like, these people can't be serious. I'm just going to say food. Rain food. Rain food. So they're some of the ones that he's going to get to pick from. Yeah.

They forgot. They should have put an on me so he could be. Rain. Rain on me. Rain, rain, rain on me. Rain, rain. You know? Yeah, that'd be good.

Yeah, that'd be a good option. I mean, it's funny. I'd go for that. I, anyway, the story gets better because apparently when the kid was about four, he was ready to pick his own name. Okay. So the parents asked him, they said. Yeah, this is going to be good.

So the parents asked him and they said, you know, here's all your options. What do you want your name to be? And he said, Betty Crocker. I mean, it's a solid name. It's backfired on the parents. Well done. Well for Betty. I was wondering if we could ask people, do you have a really long name?

Yeah. Like, do you have more than two, three middle names? Yeah. Like, have you got like six? Well, maybe your first name's multi-hyphenated. Yeah. Like, do you have more than two, three middle names? Yeah. Like, have you got, like, six? Or maybe your first name's multi-hyphenated. Yeah, I'll be counting that. Yeah, totally. That's a long name.

Yeah, true. What if your first name's Anna-Marie Louise and your last name's Richardson Dixon McSlixtinson? Oh, that was close. I'm glad you kind of stuttered on that. Bree and Clint. This person's text us and they said, my parents effed me up, man.

I can't even fit half of the forms I fill out. First name, Weina Hana. Middle name, Hariwaka Te Rangi Pai. I think she's on the phone. Really? Should we ask her? I want to hear her full name. Okay, Hana, welcome to the show.

Hi, Hana. Thank you so much. Is this you that we Hana, welcome to the show. Hi, Hana. Hi, is this you? Thank you so much. Is this you that we're talking about here? Yes, this is Hana. Okay. I want to hear your full name. Just say it in full.

Waina Hana Heriwaka Terangipai David hyphen Vanderwater. Hana. You have all these beautiful te reo names at the start and then finishes with David Vandewater. I know, I know. So good. So if you travel overseas,

what do you write down? Do you have to write all of those? It's like, yeah, anytime I have to fill out legal

forms, I have to fill in my whole name and honestly, it's so hard. But it doesn't Even like doing my car stuff, oh my God.

But that little card they give you on the airplane, that won't fit. I know, I literally have to write like off the side there. Oh, my God. But that little card they give you on the airplane, that won't fit. I know. I literally have to write, like, off the side there. Oh, what a nightmare.

Your name's, like, winding down the side of the form. I know. I know. Hannah, honestly, sometimes I just miss my middle name on those forms. Just skip it. Yeah, I just skip it. Oh, what a badass. I know.

I'm so badass. Hannah, how long, because this is a milestone for kids, how long did it take you to be able to write your own full name? Oh, what a badass. I know, I'm so badass. Hannah, how long, because this is a milestone for kids, how long did it take you to be able to write your own full name? Oh, my God, I couldn't. I always used to write Hannah, so I just wrote H-A-N-A. But my middle name, I don't think I learnt until I was about 10 that I found out how to write it properly. Hey, Hannah, be honest.

Do you sometimes forget? Hey, like, it can be difficult. I'm not going to lie. Here's one. Fair enough. It's in the same league as yours, Hannah, be honest. Do you sometimes forget? Hey, like, it can be just caught. I'm not going to lie. Here's one. Fair enough. It's in the same league as yours, Hannah, but it's Italian-Dutch-Catholic. So their name is Maria Elizabeth Karina Anika Giovangangelo.

Oh, my God. I do not envy that. Maria Elizabeth Karina Anika Giovangangelo. God, can you imagine if you met that person and you're like, where are your parents from? And she's like, Teneru. Hannah,

have you got kids of your own? No, not yet. How many middle names are you going to give them when you do? Hopefully, hopefully not that many. I've suffered enough, I think. I won't pass it on. Hannah's learnt, she knows. Bree and Clint from iHeartRadio. This is The Latest.

I swear we were only talking about this last week, but Will Smith has finally posted an apology video after he slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars about three or four months ago. I watched it. It's quite good. I mean, I feel like he's very emotional in it, isn't he? Yeah, it's fairly raw. It is.

We've got a piece of the audio here that will play for you. This is Will Smith apologising to Chris Rock. I've reached out to Chris and the message that came back is that he's not ready to talk and when he is, he will reach out. So I will say to you, Chris, I apologize to you. My behavior was unacceptable. And I'm here whenever you're ready to talk. Look, Chris Rock has since responded in one of his stand-up shows

because he's currently on tour. He's touring around the world. He's here in New Zealand on Sunday night. Very soon. Anyway, so he has commented where he compared Will Smith to former Death Row Records executive and currently incarcerated hothead Serge Knight. Suge Knight, yeah.

Suge Knight. And he also said to him, everyone's trying to be a victim and he doesn't want any part of it pretty much. Right. He said, I went to work the next day. I didn't try and be the victim and that's pretty much all he's said so far. It's a strange one. It's a similar thing to what happened with Taylor Swift and the next day. I didn't try and be the victim and that's pretty much all he's said so far.

It's a strange one. It's a similar thing to what happened with Taylor Swift and the Kanye thing. He's now permanently part of this narrative with Will Smith

that he never asked to be a part of. So he'll handle it in his own way. You've got to watch the Will Smith apology. I think it's interesting on a lot of fronts

whether you believe him or not. I think he's doing the work. The bit I found really interesting is where he said that through the process of trying to make up for it, he's trying really hard not to hate himself. Like he's trying not to think of himself as a piece of ass. Yeah. Because otherwise, you know, it's really interesting.

It's really interesting. Chris Rock also said anyone who says words hurt have never been punched in the face. Yeah, that's very true as well. You know, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words, I mean, getting slapped hurts. I've never been physically assaulted, so I don't know how that feels.

Well, there you go. Will Smith finally speaks out in posts about slapping Chris Rock in the face. If you want to support Chris Rock, get some tickets to see him at Spark Arena this Sunday night.

Is it sold out? I'm going. I can't wait. I don't know. I bought my tickets the week of the slap. Oh, see,

you jumped on the train. Yeah, I'm ready to go. Jumped on. Bree and Clint. Please welcome to the show the most handsome comedian in New Zealand.

It's the Pakistani prince, Pax Asadi. Hi, Pax. G'day, Pax. Hi, Bree. And, um, Clines, is it? Clines? I just literally called you the most handsome comedian in the country. The least you can do is that, mate.

Yeah, I know, that wasn't necessary. Get my goddamn name right. No, I liked it. I was scared you were going to say Joe Damon. Well, no, they've got the wrong guy. Is that who you find the most attractive comedian in New Zealand, Joe Damon? No, I have a thing for Reece Darby. Do you?

Would you kiss him? I would kiss him, yeah, on the mouth. I have a thing for white guys that can do robot voices. Oh, so you went to Guy Williams. Pax is with us because he is hosting the comedy mixtape in South Auckland this week. Pax, tell us who you're heading out south with for this. We've got me.

We've got Tofinga from The Laughing Samoans, who's a comedy legend and one of the funniest people on the planet. And I mean that. I'm not on the planet. And I mean that. I'm not just saying that. I genuinely mean that. We've got Bubba, who's an up-and-coming South Auckland comedian. We've got David Kourios, who was a star of the second season of Taskmaster New Zealand. And then we've got a bunch of other up-and-coming brown comedians who I've gone out to comedy clubs and watched

and seen and gone, that person's really funny and I want them on the show. Oh my God, you're like the gatekeeper of the comedians these days, Pax. You're like just plucking them from all the comedy clubs. If you had to pick one, and I mean, they're not listening right now, who would be your favourite child out of all of them? That's a really hard question to answer. I'm going to say Tofinga just because I'm so excited. Like, I've hung out with him a couple of times. I've interacted with him a couple of times.

But I've never been able to be on the same show as him. Yeah. It's bucket list stuff. Yeah, it's a bucket list thing. I'm an excited little kid who gets to perform with someone who they watched when they were like 12 years old. We're going to give away some tickets to this show very shortly. It's being filmed for three. This show's going to be on TV.

So your laughing face might be one of those faces in the crowd that they cut to. So wear something nice, right? Yeah, put your best shirt on. Or your angry face. Or your angry face, yeah. Is Aunty Leanne part of this line-up? Your comedian queen you selected from the show 60 Seconds,

is she part of the line-up packs? No, no, she's not. Aunty Leanne's not part of the line-up. But Aunty Leanne, I'm going to be going on tour, so if you want to see Aunty Leanne, come watch me on tour, especially near Wellington. I'm going to be Wellington. The town's near Wellington.

Come to one of those shows and you'll see Auntie Leanne for sure. For sure. Do you put a couple of drinks into Auntie Leanne before she gets on the stage? Yeah, a couple of drinks. I give her a couple of Vs. I give her some... Oh, I can't wait for it.

Some planes, some jet planes. I get her real zinging. Get her on the watermelon vape just to get her charging before she hits the stage. Once her eyebrow is twitching, I know she's ready for comedy. A woman by the name of Caitlin O'Neill, Clint, is copying a lot of feedback online after she's posted about her relationship that she's been in for the last two years. Oh, way to rub it in. You know, she can hold down a boyfriend.

Some of us don't have a relationship at all. Not me, I've been married for several years. So I'm just advocating for those who don't. You haven't been married for several years. Yes, I have. Several years you've been married for. I've been married for four years. So not several.

That is several. Is it? What do you think the word, wait. I think it's seven or more. Can you, are we recording this? What do you think several means? Seven or more. Right.

Yeah. Means more than two. Does it? Yeah. My mind is blown. It's one of those things, eh, every day. My mind is blown to that. Why has it got seven in it then?

That's a fair question. You know? Yeah. Several means more than two. Several sounds like seven or more, doesn't it? I have never known that. Hey, I'm becoming smarter by the second. Yep, absolutely.

Also showing how dumb I am by the second as well. Hey, look, anyway, she's been with this guy for two years and she's posted about online something that her and her boyfriend have never done before. Oh, yeah. And get your minds out of the gutter because just peel it back even more. Are they Christian? She says that she hasn't done this particular thing

because of her religious beliefs. Oh, it is? Okay, yeah. So it is because of that. She says they've been together for two years, but they have never kissed. Oh, kissed? They've never kissed.

Then they're not in a relationship. That's what people are saying, Clint. They're saying she has friend-zoned him. Yeah, you're not in a relationship. What do they do? I don't know. Wait, wait, wait. Do they do other stuff other than kissing? No. Just like sharing

a Fanta with your friend? No lips. Yeah, can you not get your lips on my Fanta, please? Maybe it's because of COVID. Oh, the relationship's only been going since the pandemic started. Maybe it's all on Zoom. They don't want to give each other COVID. Oh, I thought it was just going to be on Zoom.

So they still bump uglies, but they don't kiss. Does that mean they just tap their laptops together on Zoom? Yeah. Nah, people are saying, yeah, they reckon, no, you're friends if you haven't kissed before. But she's saying, it's my religious beliefs. I'm saving myself for marriage. What religion is that, that you're not allowed to kiss? I'm not sure. I'm not too sure, but I mean

some people do have those religious beliefs. I don't know everything about all religions so I'm sure that could be somebody's religion. But I've not heard of it. Maybe they know that the temptation would be too great. Maybe. That if they kiss, they know they can't stop.

But how does she know and how does he know that there's that connection? Because I feel like a kiss can tell you a lot. Like, you know, there's been times where I've been on a few dates and I'm like, oh, I'm not sure. Like, I think they're nice. But then if you kiss them, there's sexual chemistry or not. You've got to kiss them to find out. Also, it's just fun or not. You've got to kiss them to find out. Yeah.

Also, it's just fun. Have a pash. Yeah. Do you feel like if they don't kiss for much longer, the spark will fade? It could. Like you go. I mean, it might already. Maybe they're, you know.

Over it. Maybe. Going through the motions. You know, because imagine. Do they hold hands? It doesn't say. But imagine if, you know, Caitlin, she gets to 32 and she's like, I'm finally ready.

For that big kiss. For that, to get married. For a big sloppy kiss. Right? I'm finally ready to get married. We've been together for over 10 years now. Yeah. And it's their wedding day.

You may kiss the bride. They kiss and she goes, I don't feel it. He's got bad breath. I didn't feel the spark. He's a bad kisser. There's too much teeth involved. And then the guy's like, I have waited over 10 years for this? Yeah, right.

Well, each to their own, but to me, I don't believe that. How long? This is my last question that I want to ask you. How long, and even if you can remember this, had you not kissed someone that you were dating? Oh, like, oh, what? Do you know what I mean? On my first girlfriend, I avoided passing her for as long as possible because I was really scared.

How long? Like a month, minimum. How often did you see her? And then she cornered me and she's like, we are pashing and we are pashing now. And then I did it and I ran away and then she dumped me. I love your recollection of events and you're like, yeah, she wanted me real bad.

She's like, what is this weird guy up to? Get her on the phone. Let's find that first girlfriend. She does not need that, okay? She's been through enough. Bree and Clint. This is a letter I found in the New Zealand Herald today. It's someone asking for advice on how they can stop stalking their ex on

social media. You know what? I thought about this and back in the day, you never had to even deal with this. No. You never had to think about it. You could never see that person again if you lived in a big enough place. You know, whereas these days, there's that option of going onto their Instagram and seeing who their new bae is and all that kind of stuff.

It's quite hard to avoid. It's too accessible. It's too easy. You know, I heard an amazing quote the other day. Where was it? Where did I hear it? Post hot pictures on your Instagram. It'll make you feel better after a break.

No, no, no. It's what you're talking about where things have changed and people are instantly accessible. This is the quote. It was, we are analog creatures living in a digital world. We're not equipped for this. Aristotle. We are not equipped for this. Aristotle. We are not equipped for the amount of information

we have at our fingertips. Aristotle, come through, bitch. Right? I thought it was quite good. No, that is, and it's true. Yeah. We actually don't know how to deal with it most of the time. It's quite relatable, though.

Don't feel bad if you're in this boat. I'll read you the letter, okay? This is what this person's going through. They said, Recently, I thought it would be fun to look up an ex on social media over a few wines. Bad idea. I found my first serious boyfriend,

who I was with when I was a teenager, and I couldn't get over how good he still looks. Oh, no. Then there was the high-flying job, the perfect younger wife, and the cute-as-a-button three kids. I couldn't help but compare his life to my own, a body destroyed by three beautiful babies,

an aging husband, savage. He's savage. And a job that I am not excited about. I've now become obsessed with stalking him and his wife on social media. How do I stop this unhealthy habit and get more excited about my own life? I've got another great quote because I feel like this is a time for it. Yeah. Comparison is the thief of joy.

That's a good one. It is a great one. It is a good one. And it fits this really well. Totally. You should never compare. Because, and here's another good quote, the grass is always green one. It is a great one. And it fits this really well. Totally. You should never compare. Because, and here's another good quote, the grass is always greener. It is.

And social media is a highlight reel. So that's the first thing to address. He's posting the good bits. And he might just be better at Instagram than you. Him and his wife could have a real average relationship where they don't get along and they've got a lot of issues, but he's not posting that on Instagram. She could be a total BITC, you know what. You know, and he could be a bit of an a-hole to her as well,

but you don't see that on social media. Okay, here's some advice from an expert, or a couple of experts actually. So the question was, how do I stop stalking my ex on social media? Psychologists Verity, Tom and Nick Beats, they're specialists in relationship and sex therapy. Okay. They've answered this letter that this person has written. What do they have to say?

So they said the first step is, and this is for anybody who is visiting pages of people they don't enjoy on social media but they can't stop. It doesn't have to be an ex. It could be an ex-friend. It could be a workmate. Any page that makes you feel less. Where you're comparing yourself to them.

Yeah. So the first step is go cold turkey with the social media stalking. You have to block that account. And if you're using a, this is their advice, if you're using a fake account to do stalking, you need to get rid of your fake account now. A burner account. Yeah, you have to get rid of it.

You have to commit time and mental energy to making this thing better, you know? Right. You know, I've done this before, and I feel like if you say, no, I've never stalked an ex on social media. You're lying. You're lying.

I've definitely been. You're just trying to make people think you're better than me. Exactly. But it's a natural thing where you want to see, right, for a certain amount of time. And I've definitely done it. You know what made me stop? What?

Is when the ex that I was having a sneaky look at. Did you like a picture? Oh, no. But they saw that I'd viewed their story and they messaged me about it and I felt like my, literally my throat fell into my butt. I was like, oh my God, it feels so awkward. That might not be the advice you want to hear if you are stuck stalking somebody,

but you have to do it. You have to block them. Cold turkey. It's cold turkey. That according to these psychologists is the answer. I wonder if you get withdrawals from the ex, like you're like shaking, you're like, I just need one hit of Jared. I just need

one hit. Just one. Just one. Just give me one picture. Hey, there's someone that's texted through with a quote to end this. Okay, go on then. And they said the grass is greener wherever you water it. Oh, I like it. I said before, who's the worst

polluter out of all the celebrities? All those dirty celebrities with their private jets. who's the worst polluter out of all the celebrities? All those dirty celebrities with their private jets. Who's the worst? Well, it's not Leonardo DiCaprio. No, he drives a Prius. Because he is very environmentally friendly. Although I see him spending a bit of time on super yachts. Yeah, he does.

They're not hybrids. No, they're battery powered, aren't they? I had a friend. They're a tugboat. I had a friend who worked on The Great Gatsby in Sydney Yes

I should say this is alleged before I say any of this and they said that I had a friend on set too What was your friend's name? Not important

I don't want to get anyone in trouble Okay fair enough He would fly in visitors I've heard this too Regularly Alleged

Regularly Playboy Leonardo DiCaprio Anyway he's not on this list Visitors Visitors Fly-in visitors. I've heard this too. Regularly. Alleged. Regularly. Playboy Leonardo DiCaprio. Anyway, he's not on this list. Visitors. Visitors. The world's worst polluters, based on how much they use their private jet,

has been released. Oh, I'm interested to know. It's all over the place today. People are really giving her a hard time. There's a bit of controversy, but number one on the list, the worst polluter is Taylor Swift. I think it was in one of the recent docos about her

you see her get her new private jet. Yeah. It's a nice one. What a milestone. Everyone remembers their first private jet. Don't they? And then you upgrade that jet you know, once. You never think you'll you never think you'll grow out of your first private jet, but eventually they? And then you upgrade that jet you know, once. You never think you'll you never think you'll grow out of your first private jet but eventually you do. There's no

moment like buying a brand new private jet though. The smell of new jet. Oh, it's just delightful. To die for. The private jet Taylor Swift uses, which is technically, well not technically, actually also rented out to other people has been in the air for 22,923 minutes this year alone.

That's a long time. Okay. It's done 170 flights this year. Whoa, that's a lot. The shortest flight this private jet has done is 36 minutes from Missouri to Nashville. Okay. So it's just zipping around the place. Pretty quick flight.

She says it's not her fault because other people use it. She's renting it out. Yeah, but you're making money off those emissions, aren't you? I wonder who rents it out. Like an Uber. Who do you reckon would rent out Taylor Swift's jet? Anyone. The Kardashians would rent it.

Not Kim. She owns her own. But some of the other lesser known Kardashians like Kylie. Can you imagine? Oh, no, no. She's got a private jet too. She's the richest Kardashian. Kendall.

Yep. Probably Kendall. Rob. He'd have to give it to him for free. The emissions racked up by Taylor Swift's jet. This is going to piss you off. If you're doing your bit for the environment right now, if you're looking at getting an electric car or something like that

and doing your bit to help the planet. How much? The emissions clocked up on Taylor Swift's jet represent 1,184 times more than the average person's total annual emissions. Her carbon footprint just for her jet is the size of 1,000 people. Producer Ella is looking quite annoyed. She's a Swifty. Producer Ella, what's the issue? I'm just mad about

this. Stop ragging on Taylor. I love her. You leave Taylor and her private jet alone. But also, you're famous. You can't go on public flights because you just get bombarded. Can't you? You should get bombarded. I once saw Anna Paquin on a near New Zealand flight.

Yeah, did you bombard her? No, she had her twins with her. You told me you took a photo get bombarded. I once saw Anna Paquin on a near New Zealand flight. Yeah, did you bombard her? No, she had her twins with her. You told me you took a photo of her sleeping. What? You showed it to me. See, that's what Taylor Swift doesn't want. I don't want people to take photos of me sleeping, so I'm going to destroy the environment.

How does that make sense? Who else is on the list? Taylor's copping a lot of hate. She's actually saying it's not true. Well, it's still hers. But yeah, sure. Okay. So here's the top 10.

Number 10, Travis Scott. These are the worst pollutants. And he hates flying. No, that's Travis Barker. Oh, no, that's Travis Barker. Yeah. It's confusing. They're both in the Kardashian family.

They're both in the Kardashian family. Number nine, Oprah Winfrey. Oh, yeah. Okay. Number eight, Mark Wahlberg. Mark Wahlberg? He's flying here soon to open his new burger restaurant, yeah. Okay. Number eight, Mark Wahlberg. Mark Wahlberg? He's flying here soon to open his new burger restaurant too. I was going to say, he's flying all around the world for F45.

Yeah, that too. Why don't you run around the world, Mark Wahlberg? It'll be a better workout. Don't dare him. He will. Number seven is Kim Kardashian. Okay. Number six is Steven Spielberg.

Spielberg's getting involved. Stay home, Steven Spielberg. Spielberg's getting involved. Stay home, Steven Spielberg. You've done enough. Number five, Blake Shelton, country music singer. The guy who's the host on The Voice America. Judge on The Voice. Yeah. Yeah.

Number four, A-Rod, J-Lo's ex-husband. Baseball player. Where are you going, A-Rod? I mean. Baseball season's over, bruh. You haven't played in ages. He goes and watches all the other games probably. Yeah, he's like, let me on.

Number three, Jay-Z. Right. Stay home, Jay-Z. You know what happened last time you got around too much? Naughty boy. The Lemonade album. So, chill out, man. Number two, Floyd Mayweather. That goes with the persona. Yeah, well. And number one,

the toxic Avenger, the worst polluter in the entire world, Taylor Swift. Don't know me or take me somewhere we can be alone I'll be the princess All there's left to do is run You'll be the princess I can just see

Taylor reading this and being like there's way worse people out there. I'm going to fly and see them. I'm going to write a song. Brie and Clint. It's time to play Guess That Voice. The game where we guess celebrities' voices. And sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's a struggle.

Let's bring our contestants on who will play with us for KFC Chicken Dollars. Bruce from New Plymouth is on the phone. Kia ora, Bruce. G'day, Bruce. Afternoon.

Hello. Who would call a kid Bruce anyway, Bruce? My father, Thomas. Yeah, right. Fair enough. I like it. Let's meet your opposition today.

Oh, no, first of all, what team do you want to be on, Bruce? Team Bree or Team Clint? Let's go Team Bree. Team Bree. Bruce, the two Bs. Mate, I was quoting a Rubicon song, okay? It was very niche.

I thought you were throwing shade at Bruce as well. Well, that's only because you've never experienced the musical prowess of Rubicon. Oh, I'm Devo. Okay, you're on Team Bree. That means, Megan, you're on Team Clint, okay? Yes, that's awesome. Good, good.

All right, here we go. Producer Claude runs the game. What is the theme today, Claude? Bit of a weird theme today. It's celebrities that have sung their own TV theme songs. Okay. So the shows that they've been in, they've sung the song for it. Very nice.

And yeah, a tip for you guys, for some of them, listen to what they're saying. Okay. Not just their voice. All right. Brie and I will go first and then you, Bruce and Megan will have a go after us. Gotcha. Okay, here we go. Here's your first celebrity.

Whoever's holding the feeling stick has permission to say whatever he or she is feeling without being judged. I'll go first. Brie? Yes, Brie? Kristen Stewart? No, that's good though. Miley Cyrus?

No. Can we listen again? Yes, you can listen again. Whoever's holding the feeling stick has permission to say whatever he or she is feeling without being judged. I'll go first. So they sing their theme song. Brie?

Yes. Taylor Swift? No. This is someone who looks a lot like Katy Perry. Oh, Clint? Yes. Zooey Deschanel. That's the one.

Hey girl, what you doing? New girl. That sounds like nothing like it. Can we hear it again? Yeah, you can hear it again. Yeah, I am. Where is she? Whoever's holding the feeling stick has permission to say whatever he or she is feeling without being judged.

I'll go first. That was a hard one, though. Not going to lie. Megan and Bruce, your buzzers are your names. Come on, Bruce. Okay. This one's hopefully a little bit easier. Here we go.

I got cast at 12 years old, and that's obviously just the spongiest, most absorbing. Bruce is in. Yes, Bruce. Who's that? Miley Cyrus. It is indeed. You get the best of both worlds. Cheer it up, take it slow.

She's unmistakable, eh? You get the best. Her voice is so recognisable. All right. One point, team Bruce and Brie, one team point Megan and... You nearly done the dirty on yourself. Can we go to the third one, Claude? Are you awake?

Yeah, me and Brie, me and Brie. Here we go. If you don't know the voice, listen to what she's saying. Okay. We were supposed to announce it together that we were going to be doing a revival. So, Jerry Trainor, who plays my brother on iCarly. Brie. Brie.

Oh, what's her name? Oh, I know. Have you got a guess, Brie? I forget her name. Is that Carly from iCarly? That's technically right. You can't give him that. No one's going to get her name. Is that Carly from iCarly? That's technically right. You can't give him that. No one's going to get her name.

I'll get her name. Ella's just doing an M for you. Megan or Bruce, do you guys want to buzz in on this one? Megan? Yeah. Miranda Cosgrove? That's her. It's all for real.

I'm telling you just how I feel. So wait. I'm showing my age. I never watch iCarly. Oh, how'd you miss iCarly, man? I missed that era. It's coming back, isn't it? Yeah.

There's a revival. I saw that, the reboot. Yeah. Good work, Megan. You've put us ahead 2-1, and now it's over to you and Bruce for the next one. Come on, Bruce. Keep us in it, mate. Good luck, guys.

Here's your celebrity. Summertime is the best song I've ever made. Unless you count the theme song to the Fresh Prince. Megan. Megan. Megan for the win. Will Smith. Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down.

And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there. I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air. God, I had a shock of a sudden. I was just waiting for Gina Riley to come up. I don't know who that is. Who's Gina Riley? One half of Kath and Kim. Oh.

She sings the thing. Did she sing that? Yeah. I'll do that next week. Okay, good. I'll be ready then. Hey, Megan, congratulations. There's 50 KFC chicken dollars coming your way. Awesome. Thank you, guys. There you go. Thanks for playing, good. I'll be ready then. Hey, Megan, congratulations. There's 50 KFC chicken dollars coming your way.

Awesome. Thank you, guys. There you go. Thanks for playing, Bruce. She killed it. Sorry, Bruce. Oh, yep. And that's okay.

First the Rubicon thing. Now that's a shit day for Bruce. I feel like we can all kind of help each other in these situations because it's quite relatable when something goes wrong in the flat. Yeah. You've all had nightmare flat situations. Yeah. It's part of, it's a rite of passage.

It's a part of growing up. And as corny as it sounds, it is. Yeah. And we're asking you guys this afternoon. You know what it teaches you? What? It teaches you how to- Not to trust people.

That. But also- How to clean up after yourself. That. But it teaches you not to trust people. That. How to clean up after yourself. That. But it teaches you how to live with somebody so that when you find that special somebody hopefully you've done all your dumb stuff with your flatmates. And you now

are house trained. House trained pretty much, yeah. We're asking you guys on 0800DIALS at M, what did your flatmate use behind your back? Mike's here. G'day, Mike. G'day, Mike.

Yo, Tatlin. What was it, man? What did your flatmate use without asking your permission? Quite often, it wasn't just one, to be honest, but a number of my flatmates would use all of my personal hygiene products in the shower. So whether it was like my Lynx body wash or my shampoo. Not the Lynx body wash. Yeah. You only get a new bottle of that every Christmas when Mum gives you the multi-pack.

Well, the socks and the undies as well. Yeah, exactly right. But as you can see, I got them back. How? I emptied out half my bottle of shampoo and topped it up with Veet. Oh, Mike, did you actually do that? You did not. I did.

I did. And did we, please tell me you weren't living with females? No, I wasn't living with females, but safer to say two of my flatmates, turns out two of my flatmates were stealing my shampoo. Now, Mike, Mike, Mike, there's a quick. I mean, how could you tell? Mike, there's a quick psychopath test we have to run on you here. Did you warn them first?

Did you say, please don't use my shampoo? No, I just said, stuff it. I'm dealing with you guys. You're stealing my stuff. I'm taking my revenge. Did they see the funny side? I think eventually after their hair started growing back. What about their eyebrows?

They would have lost everything. Yeah, a wee bit. Oh, Mike. Mike, do you live alone now? No, I live with my wife. Yeah A wee bit Oh Mike Mike Right Mike Do you live alone now? No I live with my wife

Right okay She better watch out She better bloody watch out Mike Yeah Your wife better not Use your shampoo Mike is coming after you Shampoo costs like

Four dollars a bottle That shit is You know I get it I get where Mike's coming from Megan's here Hi Megan G'day Megan Hi Tell us Megan Who was the flatmate And what did they use Behind your back That shit is, you know, I get it. I get where Mike's coming from. Megan's here. Hi, Megan. G'day, Megan.

Hi. Tell us, Megan, who was the flatmate and what did they use behind your back? My flatmate, I'm going to name her Olive, she would use my shower towel. Oh, no. Okay, let me check again. Okay, is this your clean towel out of the linen cupboard or she would use your current

towel hanging on the towel rack? My current towel on the towel rack. Megan. Oh, that's so yuck. It is so yuck. How did you find out that she was doing this? I only found out when my other flatmates saw that I had the same towel because it was both stripes.

So the towel you're using to dry your face and bum bum, she's also using to dry her face and bum bum. Megan, imagine if you guys have got the wrong side, like she's using one side to dry her face, but that's your bum side. No. She thought it was perfectly fine because apparently

we were both clean when it was happening. No, no. I love that logic. I love that. She's like, I only did it after a shower. That's so off. So off. Thanks, Megan. Glenn's here. Hi, Glenn. Hi, no. I love that logic. I love that. She's like, I only did it after a shower. That's so off. That's so off. Thanks, Megan.

Glenn's here. Hi, Glenn. Hi, Glenn. Hi. How are you going, mate? Tell us, Glenn, dob the men. What did your flatmate use behind your back? He used my car.

Oh, okay. That's personal. Please tell me you didn't do anything bad in it. Yeah, he did burn out. You get home and your flatmate goes, hey, Glenn, by the way, you need a new set of tyres. They're looking a bit bald. No, I was actually sick in bed when he did it

and I had to replace my tyres. They got flat. What sort of car was it? A Mazda 3. That's not even for doing burnouts in that car. It's just a normal car. He had to figure out how to turn the traction control off, which I can't turn it back on now.

Oh, God, Glenn. Are you still living with this guy? No, he's still my best friend, but no, I'm living by myself now. Yeah, good idea, Glenn. Keep the friendship strong. Sometimes it's not good to live with your friends, eh? It's not.

Finally, John's here. G'day, John. Hello, John. Hi, how's it going? Good, thanks. Tell us, what did they use behind your back? So I had a flatmate

who took bakeware out of the cupboard and gave it to his girlfriend. Why did he give it to his girlfriend? I have he give it to his girlfriend? I have no idea. The funny thing was that they broke up not that long after and she kind of snuck in the house and cut up his clothes.

Oh, wow. He got his karma. You were living with some interesting people there, John. You were sharing a roof with some. So it's your bakery, I assume? Yeah, some muffin trays. And he just gave it away? Yep. Some people way., some muffin trays. And he just gave it away? Yep.

Some people ate it. Not the muffin trays, John! Yeah, it was very distraught. I get it, I get it. How did you find out? Because obviously you were like, I'm going to go make myself some zucchini muffins. And then you realised it was gone.

How did you figure out it was him? Well, there was three of us living together and the other guy was adamant, not him. But, like, the day that he had this girl around, like, there was, like, the muffin tray was just sitting on the table. I was like, that's weird. Yeah.

But, yeah, a few days later, couldn't find it. Like, I made this big song and dance trying to find it. He acted all dumb, so it's definitely him. Oh, he denied it too. Jeez. Well, good detective work, John. You're better off without them, okay? Well done.

Thank God. Good on you, John. Oh, wait, did you get the muffin tray back? No. No, I had good detective work, John. You're better off without them, okay? Well done. Thank God. Good on you, John. Oh, wait, did you get the muffin tray back? No. No, I had to buy me one. Bugger. Listen to this text that's just come through. Someone said, I lived with two hairy boys and I am a hairless girl.

One day I found a pube in my pretty pink shower poof and it smelled like Link's body wash. And when I hit him up about it, he just looked me square in the face and said, yeah, that was me. I just wanted to know how it felt. Men, eh?

Nothing worse than finding someone else's pube in your poof. That is not a good idea. Bree and Clint. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Bree and Clint's birthday banger. Just before we do Can I read you this one more text About flatmates borrowing stuff

Someone said My flatmate quote on quote Borrowed several pairs of my undies To take on a family holiday They denied taking them But left them in her washing pile Sunny side up in the laundry when she returned. Oh, that's off.

Oh, I didn't need to hear that. That's rotten. I'd be throwing those out. You don't share underwear. No, you don't share underwear. Oh, there was one time I feel like it was quite awkward and a friend of mine stayed over. And I always feel bad because it wasn't like a plan to them.

No, yeah. And then I said, oh, do you want some pyjamas to sleep in? And then I never know whether to give them underwear with the pyjamas. Yeah. Do you give the underwear? Well, I'm not a girl, so we don't do that. We just sleep in our clothes. I gave the underwear as an option.

Right. Consensual sharing of underwear is fine. It's fine. You don't go into your flatmate's drawer and steal some knicks. Yeah, well, tell my two dogs that. Lauren's here for birthday banger. Hi, Loz. Hi, Lauren.

Hi. How are you, mate? I'm doing good. Have you ever borrowed? Not really after that story. Yeah, I was going to say. If you stayed over at Bree's house and it wasn't planned, would you want her to offer you a pair of undies?

I mean, I sleep in my clothes anyway, so I'd be fine. So you wouldn't accept my underwear, Lauren? No, I probably wouldn't. Fair enough. Just for you, because, I mean, you run out of underwear quickly, right? Oh, I've got heaps of undies. Oh, she's thinking of you. Okay, give us your birthday.

We'll do your birthday banger. 14th September 1986. All right, Lauren, that means you were 16 in 2002. And on your 16th birthday, here it is, Lauren. That's a banger. Why did you have to complicate it? You should have just taken the underwear and worn them. I like how Lauren sleeps in her clothes.

Don't have to get ready if you stay ready, right? She goes to a foot. No, it's just easier. What about if you're in a ball gown? Yeah, she puts a gym gear on. Wait, wait, wait a second. Lauren, you're saying you sleep in your clothes on the regular. Well, okay, I put pyjama pants on, but the top and hoodie,

like if it's really cold, the hoodie stays on and the tops are the same. Yeah, right. Yeah, I kind of don't really have set pyjamas either. Robert's here. G'day, Robert. G'day, Robert. Hi, guys. You'll take a pair of Breeze undies, won't you?

Yeah, will you wear them? Oh, not sure. Hang on. Give the pyjamas a go. Yeah, okay. Pyjamas? There's some pretty cool pyjamas out there, so yours are probably cooler than mine. What about my...

I've got some granny panties that would be quite comfy. Kind of like boxers. But I'm a bit like Clint. I just sleep in my clothes on your couch. I don't want to put you out too much. Low maintenance. Oh, see, I'm a good host. I go as far as...

I've never offered anybody a pair of undies in my life. I have multiple times. That makes me sound weird. Hey, Robert, let's move on. What's your birthday? My birthday is the 26th of February, 1982. All right. That means you were 16 in 1998.

And on the 26th of Feb in 98, this had a number one hit. You're here. There's love. Huge. Celine Dion. Titanic release. Titanic theme song. What do you think, Robert?

Well, I actually thought it was going to be Britney Spears because I remember about that time was when Britney Spears became huge. I'm a bit surprised. Celine Dion's got me quite surprised. I think Titanic was the rage, wasn't it? It was. It was huge. Biggest movie of all time at the time. Okay, wait there, Robert. One more

birthday banger for Nico. Kia ora, Nico. Hi, Nico. How's it going, guys? Good, mate. How are you? Yeah, all good. Happy that Monday's over. Oh, you and me both, Nico. You and me both. Well, let's wrap it up for you with a birthday banger. What's your birthday?

It's 24th of October, 2001. Right, Nico, that means you were 16 in 2017. And on your 16th birthday, this would have been number one. Posty and 21 Savage, Rockstar. Do you like it, Nico? Oh, yeah, can't go wrong with a bit of Posty. Yeah, it's a good song. I love Posty.

He's cool. I want to see him live. I think he'd be dope live. Okay, wait there, Nico. We've got to vote. Isn't he opening for the Chili Peppers? Yes, he is. He is.

I got tickets the other day. Can't wait. I vote for Lauren's birthday banger, Ever Living Complicated. Same. Do you? Yep. Even though she wouldn't take my undies, I will vote for her birthday banger.

Yay. Well done, Lauren. You win. Congratulations. Here's your birthday banger. Lauren, they're full cotton. They're like real soft. Oh, well maybe I'll reconsider. Okay, you think about it and let me know. Yeah, but are they clean? I will. Yes, of course they're clean. Brian Clint, straight out of 2002 on ZM.

ZM, Brian Clint, Avril never gonna find you Thank you No, no, no ZDM, Brian Clint, Avril Lavigne, the winner of Birthday Banger for Lauren this afternoon. Fun fact, that's also sometimes co-host of this show, Maddie McLean's Birthday Banger. Is it? Yep, 1986. I think you told me that actually last week. Quick age game. How old is Avril Lavigne?

Oh, okay. So that song was number one in 2002. She had to be 19. 20 years ago. I'm going to say she's 39. Producers? 32. No way.

Absolutely no way. Yeah, I'm guessing 32. That was number one in 2002. Wasn't she like 16 when it was number one? Wait. Well, lock your guess in then. I'm not good at math. I'm not good at math.

I'm not good at math. 36. 36? Yeah. 32. Claudia wins. She's 37. Is she?

Yeah. She's in the Shania Twain documentary. She has not changed her look at all since 2002. Well, is it her or is it her clone Stephanie? Oh, don't start with that. Oh my gosh, I will go off. It's so interesting. Hey, next on the show,

they've released the first six contestants for Celebrity Treasure Island 2022. We're going to get one of them in studio with us. Guy Montgomery is in for a chat next. I can't wait. I love Guy Montgomery. One of the funniest dudes ever. Totally.

And who else did they announce today? Mike King, Susan Devoy. Alex King. Who else? Oh, Ron Cribb. Ron Cribb, sorry. Troy who? Troy Flavel.

He's another all black from the same time. I don't think he's on it, but that'd be great. How would you know? Hey, there's always next season. Six members of the cast of Celebrity Treasure Island 2022 were released today. It's been very secretive up until now. I was shocked.

I can't believe who's on the show. We have one of them in studio with us right now, the host of Guy Montgomery's Spelling Bee, and probably my favourite named comedy show of all time. I was part of the problem before we were talking about it. Please welcome to the show, Guy Montgomery. Welcome, Guy Montgomery. There you go.

You guys always have to introduce yourselves at comedy shows. Hey, thanks for having me. Hey, thanks for being here. And thanks for pushing that button that made it feel like for having me. Hey, thanks for being here. And thanks for pushing that button that made it feel like there was some pomp and ceremony around my being here. You're welcome. That's what we do. Hey, you're going on Celebrity Treasure Island.

Well, you've been on Celebrity Treasure Island. Yeah. The timeline's blurry, but come release date, I'll be there. Can you finally believe that the release day is here? Because, I mean, look, I'm not going to lie, it was a while ago that we filmed this. Did you kind of block it out of your memory and just try and forget? I didn't try to forget. I naturally, you know, forgot.

Naturally I forgot. Because it was a while ago, and when you're doing it, it's incredibly all-consuming. It basically takes over your life. Well, you're sleeping outside, so it's hard to get away from it. That's right. And then when you get released back into society, it's sort of like coming out of, I guess, maybe a music festival

or something where it's like you lose your connection to what felt like the only world you knew, and then all of a sudden you're in a car on a motorway and you're thinking, well, hold on a second. Did that happen? I was on a beach just recently. Imagine how Tom Hanks felt after Castaway. He was actually performing a role.

Was that not a true story? No, no, no. I don't even know that he went method. That's how good he is. Jeez. I'm just looking at the people you've been announced with. Mike King, epic. Who else have we got in here?

Ron Cribb, former All Black Ron Cribb. Alex King, Mike King's daughter. First ever on Treasure Island. Dame Susan Devoy, squash legend and one-time National Party politician. Yeah, she was the Race Relations Commissioner for a while. She was, yeah. I would say she was one of the greatest New Zealand sports people ever. She's one of our greatest athletes in the industry.

I thought you were going to say one of our greatest race relations commissioners. I'm not going to comment on that. Yeah, Brie, you were showing me your ranking of all of our race relations commissioners before we went on air. I've got a top ten. And then there's your picture, Guy Montgomery, which you can see on the Celebrity Treasure Island Instagram page. I just want to describe it for people.

Okay, go for it. You look like you own a vintage plane and you were on your way to Mardi Gras in a fluorescent pink Speedo and your plane went down on a deserted island. Yeah, I mean, that's basically what the stylist said as well. It was, honestly, because you take all these different photos and they're like, we're going to use these.

And, you know, somehow that particular photo shoot totally escaped me. I took a lot of photos just of me in a yellow T-shirt and I was like, I can't wait to pump out those yellow T-shirt photos. I look good in a yellow T-shirt. Honestly, I remember they were saying I could overhear the stylist and they were like, look, we need one person to rock these DTs this season. And they were talking about who they were throwing up as candidates, and most people said you.

What's a DT? Dick Toggs. Oh, I see. Sorry, yeah, Dick Toggs. And they had to get the smaller. They brought out a medium, and I said, they're too big. And then they brought out a smaller. I said, they're still too big.

And they got an XXS. We tried these on Ron Cribb. Yeah, yeah. We didn't cover anything yeah i'm just excited to be elevated from the boring title of comedian to the fascinating strata of uh celebrity yeah what a great privilege absolutely it is big i need to ask you guy because i know you watched last season i did you're a big fan you said um and you can't tell us much obviously you can't give any spoilers but on a scale of, you said. And you can't tell us much, obviously. You can't give any spoilers.

But on a scale of 1 to 10, how hard you thought it was, where did it actually sit? So on that scale, 10 is harder than I imagined. Hardest. Hardest you thought it could be. And 1 is, this is a doddle. Yes. I mean, it's a boring answer, but I feel like five. I think I had an approximation of what to expect,

and it was sort of, it basically was on that plane of experience. Right. The longer you are there for, the harder it becomes. Yes. You know, because. So are you there for a while, are you? Well, I'm certainly there during the show. And you'll find that.

Are you there till the end? I'm certainly on the show. There's no denying that. You know, Chris Parker came in for the same interview at the beginning of the last season. And I said to him when he walked into the studio on air, I said, welcome to the show, the winner of Celebrity Treasure Island. And I didn't know at that point. And I felt very awkward in that moment, guys.

But I didn't pick up on any of that. I was like, ha-ha, good gag, Clint. And everyone performed their role successfully. Exactly. Well, I noticed you resisted using that gag on me when I came in. Well, I've learned my lesson. Yeah, you could get in trouble. Please give it up for New Zealand's newest minted celebrity contestant

on Celebrity Treasure Island 2022. That's what I like about this show is we go on as just people, but you exit as a celebrity. With massive egos. It's Guy Montgomery, everybody. Thank you very much. Thank you so much, Guy Montgomery. Thanks, Guy. That voiceover guy sounds exactly like Guy.

Lovely cadence. Let's talk Lto for a second. If you're an avid lotto player, this will interest you. If you're just a person who needs or likes money, this should interest you because the second largest lottery prize in US history has been won by one

person. I know the person. Do you? Yep. I went to school with her. Her name's Katie Drage. You wouldn't believe it. Okay. Well, if it is her, you need to re-friend her. I need to. So this is mind-blowing, by the way.

This is crazy money. This is mental. I've converted the numbers here into New Zealand dollars so that it makes more sense. Right. Okay. But it's in America. It's called the Mega Millions Lottery. One person has won it.

The amount that they have won over the weekend in New Zealand dollars, $2.157 billion. $2.157 billion. To give you some perspective on how much money that is, the.157 is 157 million dollars. Wow! The stuff that comes after the decimal point is

157 million dollars. You know the issue with this though is that if you got the phone call that you'd won, you just would never believe it. You'd hang up constantly. You'd be like nah, this is BS. I don't believe it. Yeah, well that's not how you win, Lotto. They don't ring you. You have a ticket.

And you find out that you've won. But you're right, you'd still be in disbelief. You would not believe it. The ticket that they won on cost $2. $2? Yep, $2. Did they, I'm always interested to know, is it numbers they picked themselves? They don't know.

They haven't located the winner yet. You're kidding. They know where and when the ticket was sold. Get out the CCTV. But they have not had the winner come forward yet. But it just happened over the weekend. So maybe they're just rocking backwards and forwards in a corner and they'll get around to it.

Maybe they're trying to ditch everyone they know before they claim it. I don't think you need to ditch people with that much money. You can literally give money to everyone you know. And you should, I think. Look, whoever they are, they've got a choice of how they receive the money. This is how it works in America.

They can take the money as a lump sum payment, but if they do that, they don't get the full $2.157 billion. Isn't it like a certain percent? So, yeah, I think it's half-ish. If they take the lump sum, they will receive in their bank account $1.259 billion. I mean, it's enough. $1.2 billion.

It's enough. In their bank account. But if they do that, they'll get taxed. On the whole lot. If they get it all at once. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the other option is that they get all of it, but it's over a number of years. In instalments. So the other option

is they get an annual payment of the full amount over 30 years. How much would it be? So, okay. Because I'm interested to know this. So the full 2.157 billion, if they take one payment a year for the next 30 years, each year, they will receive

in their bank account $71,900,000. I think it's enough. Every year. I think, you know, every year. You're not even going to be able to spend that in a year. You'll just get through your $70 million and they'll give you another. That is insane. So what would you take, the lump sum or the annual payments

for the next 30 years? I mean, it's really neither here or there, is it? It's not really even something. I mean, obviously with other ones like where people win, you know, $20 million, it's a big decision. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah I mean either or I'm fine with

too much money for me I don't actually want it yeah I totally believe you yeah not interested thank you you can keep your 2.157 billion dollars

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