ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast - 1st November 2023

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

Bill Bailey live in studio! Whose name did you take in the marriage? Google Down has a new champion! All Blacks return home. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Record it in the wall, please. I am recording it in the wall. No, that's a good reminder. I've forgotten to record like three things already this week. Did I tell you I forgot to record our big Bill Bailey interview today? Oh my gosh. You literally said, I'll record it in here and you... Yeah, I know.

Yeah. But I don't usually record the things. Claudia records the things and she's at home with COVID. So, Claudia, if you've ever wanted to feel useful or missed, you are. Because we're a shit show without you. Claudia's partner messaged me and said, please take Claudia back. Oh, no, did she? She's gone stir crazy.

She's gone feral. Yeah, she's gone. She's making vampire capes for her animals. Like hand-making vampire capes for the animals. I saw the photos. So they could go trick-or-treating. Cute. But she can't even take them trick-or-treating. She's got COVID. I think it was just for Halloween. Yeah.

That's cute. What? I think she just made it just for Halloween. Oh, not for trick-or-treating. What does a dog get for trick-or-treating? Because they can't eat chocolate. They can get heaps of stuff. Smackos. Who has got smackos ready for their Halloween guests? We have so many dog treats in our house.

Like, if you've got dogs, you've got dog treats. Oh, okay. Like, you would have dog treats. Some old ham. Old ham. God. You could give a dog anything and they'd be happy. We should test that out.

I mean, they even want to eat the most poisonous things. Yeah. And they just don't think about it. The amount of different foods. Who Dears Wins Dog Edition. The amount of foods that I let my dogs try is outrageous. What have you given them? Oh, everything.

Chili? No, I'm not an idiot. Not on purpose. Like, I. Fargois? Every time I'm cooking, like, they have to sit at the line. They're not allowed in the kitchen. They sit, like, in this imaginary line.

And if they're good girls and they sit there, I'll just give them whatever I'm chopping up. Like, bits of the offcuts, like the offcuts of carrot and the offcuts of cucumber and the offcuts of cauliflower and broccoli. They'll eat it all. A glug of the cooking sherry. No.

No, no. What's that? What's sherry? What's a glug of the Christmas sherry? Cooking sherry. A cooking sherry. No. No, no. What's that? What's sherry? What's a glug of the Christmas sherry? Cooking sherry. Oh, cooking sherry. Cooking sherry. Is that a drink?

What's sherry that you cook with? Alcohol. It's alcohol. Thanks. Sherry? You don't know what sherry is? Okay, you dumbass. Okay.

Well, no, you asked like it was a dumb thing to say. What? So you're like, what's that, Boomer? Boomer. Boomer alert. Actually, to be honest be honest in fairness to ella it is a bit boomer but like you see it's a little bit it's like an old it's like an old lady drink isn't it totally i thought you meant i don't drink it no i don't drink it but you haven't but it's like even like for like our age group it's like None of us are drinking that I've never had sherry No But I know what it is

Yeah Yeah But that's our generation Because our parents Would have maybe had it Who do we realise That your mum is This is some perspective

For the age gap in our show Who do we realise That your mum is the same age as today? Snoop Dogg Yeah Ella's mum is the same age as Snoopop dog yeah ella's mom is the same age as snoop dog oh yeah funny they're born in the same year 1971 they could hook up oh my gosh imagine is snoop dog single i'll google it for you and then we can set your mom up snoop dog i can't

think of someone a worse match for your mom than snoop dog Probably not eh Maybe That's why it would be good Opposites attract Opposites attract I would love to see my mum cooked She would be so funny Yeah So funny Get her on the gin and juice

Keen Yeah Gin is an alcohol That you get And then sometimes You mix it with juice Oh yeah Yeah that's what the

That's why I said gin and juice Thank you but I'm gin and juice Just a bit Just a wee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just want to be really crystal clear. Do you know what? Crystal is a type of alcohol that you can, it's expensive, but you can get it.

I can't pronounce it. It's vodka. How do you say it? I think you're looking for vodka. Vodka How do you say it? I think you're looking for Vodka Vodka I think you're looking for Vuvuzela Which was the popular whistle At the

2010 Football World Cup What? Now that's the one You turn upside down That's pretty good You need to show that To Caitlin I already showed it

Oh okay She wanted everyone To do that impression And I just Gave myself the ick Oh yeah We're to do that impression, and I just gave myself the ick. Oh, yeah, we're giving ourselves the ick. Why did you give yourself the ick? I did it, and I was like, this is just bad. Oh, gotcha.

All right, before we go, because this is going to be a short game, good game, everybody do your best celebrity impression. Okay? Oh, hang on. We're going to ick ourselves out of the podcast today. Who you got? Oh, no. Who's it Who you got? Oh, no. Who's it going to be?

No, no. Brie, who's your celebrity impression? No, no, don't come to me first. Okay, Ella, you're the thespian among us. What is your best celebrity impression? I'm Harry Styles. I like, wait, booze penis. That's what he says.

Is that the thespian on the show? I think if that's the bar. Booze penis. That's what he says. Is that the first thing on the show? I think if that's the bar. Fool's penis. Shit. Okay, that's me. Jesus. Thank you. I don't even have any celebrities that I.

You do Rita Ora all the time. I do. Rita Ora. No, no, no, Rita Ora. Hello, it's me, Rita Ora. No, no, no, Rita Ora. I get the Orblat. Hello, it's me, Rita Ora.

I went to Rugby World Cup on the weekend You yell all the time Don't tell us not to yell I'm not having that today Okay One's turn Make it good This is my Morgan Freeman

Hello everybody I'm Morgan Freeman Hello everybody, I'm Morgan Freeman. Hello everybody, I'm Morgan Freeman. It just sounds like scary. When does the impression start? I'm so confused. I've travelled a long way to be here. She's going British, fuck.

Yeah, what? I've travelled a long way to, fuck. You're Irish. I feel like I've travelled a long way. Fuck. You're Irish. I feel like I could do a bit of Morgan Freeman. Get busy living. No, it's going Irish again. No. Hello, I'm Morgan Freeman.

That's probably better. Thank you, Ella. At least it was American. Alright, your turn. Hello, I'm Morgan Freeman. All right. Okay, ready? Here's my impression of a celebrity.

It hasn't been good so far. Take it home. I'm a celebrity playing a character. Okay. And I'll do multiple characters. Oh, I don't know. I don't know, Mum. I eat like a bird.

Yeah, big bird. What kind of bird eats four packets of Pop-Tarts for breakfast? Scene. That was a British version of Kath and Kim. Were they British? That sounded a bit British to me. I'm still in my Rita Ora. Rita Ora's back.

She's back, baby. I went to my first Rugby World Cup game on the weekend, even though I was at a Rugby World Cup. Can we talk about that for a second? What the fuck, Rita Ora? I sang at the Women's Rugby World Cup, but that's not counted. She put up a post on her Instagram on Sunday because she went to the Rugby World Cup final with Taika and she said,

my first rugby game ever and I loved it. She was in New Zealand performing at the Rugby World Cup. She was in the stadium. She performed at the stadium for the rugby, for the women's rugby world. So strange. She was there. That was weird. She obviously didn't say in what.

No. Is that what you think it is? She's outed herself. She's like, oh, women's rugby. No. No, thank you. Oh, no. I don't know if I'll stay for that. All right. Let's get outed herself. She's like, oh, women's rugby. No. Oh, no, I don't know if I'll stay for that. All right, let's get out of here.

See you tomorrow. Bye. Bye. Hey, kia ora, everybody, and welcome to a brand new episode of The Brianne Clint Show. Welcome back. It's that time of year when everyone is just starting to feel festive. It's November. Are you feeling festive? Nah.

Nah? I feel tired. I'll put my Christmas tree up now. I'm fine with two months out. November I feel like is a fine time to put your Christmas tree up now. I'm fine with two months out. November, I feel like, is a fine time to put your Christmas tree up. My friend, Tanya, puts her Christmas tree up the 1st of September every year. Does she? Have to be a fake one. That'd be a crispy-ass by Christmas Day if it was real.

It's a fake one. Yeah. Yeah, it's not a real one. I want to go real this year. I've never gone real. Haven't you? I've never had a real Christmas tree in my life. Once you go real, you... You end up with a dead real Christmas tree in my life. Once you go real, you

end up with a dead real Christmas tree in the back of your yard for the rest of the year. You end up with pine needles everywhere. We had a real one every year for my entire childhood. Yeah, but you had a farm. You could go and burn it. Well, I don't know where Dad would get rid of the dead

Christmas tree, but I know where we'd get them. We'd cut them down illegally from the forestry. Yeah. Yeah. That's the beauty of living rurally, isn't it? And then he got, as time went on, he got a bit scared, I reckon, because we started cutting them down off the side of the road. Yeah.

Like, whose property is that, the side of the road? It's the council. Yeah. And is the forestry the council too? I don't know. I've done that you get in trouble for the side of the road. It's when you cross the fence you get in trouble. Yeah. Is the forestry the council too? I don't know. I've done that you get in trouble for the side of the road. It's when you cross the fence you get in trouble. If you see a perfectly grown Christmas tree

on the side of the road, that's free for the taking. Oh, no one ever said they were perfectly grown. They were always like real like shanky looking with like a couple of branches and they just got worse and worse. Anyway, what are we doing? It's the 1st of November. Merry Christmas everyone. Merry Christmas, everyone.

Merry Christmas, everybody. Merry Christmas. Let's get some Mariah Carey on. Why not? Get the boobs out. I mean, get boob lay out. Get the boobs out. Get your boobs out.

Get some Christmas gin. Producer Ella, we got the Christmas gin. Some eggnog, maybe? I'm keen, I'm keen. Yeah, let's get it moving. Have you tasted eggnog? No. What is that? Oh, it's like a mil'm keen. Yeah, let's get it moving. Have you tasted eggnog? No. What is that?

Oh, it's like a milky drink. Iggy. Iggy, alcoholic. I don't know. Let's play Tradie vs. Lady. We have got $50 cash from KFC available to you. If you would like to play with us, you should call right now on 0800 DIAL ZM. Bree and Clint.

It's Tradie vs. Lady. Three, two, one, let's go. Welcome to Tradie versus Lady, a game we play every weekday on this show. And we've been keeping score all year because, I mean, there's no trophy, but it's fun to keep score. The ladies are on 98 wins for the year. The tradies on 93. The tradies are on 93. The tradies are coming back. This is about as close as

they have got this whole year. So let's go to our tradie first today. They're calling from Napier. They're 23 and they're going overseas for the very first time next year. Welcome to the show, Aidan. Hello, Aidan. Hello. How are you going? Whereabouts are you going overseas, Aidan? Oh,

maybe Europe. Thinking a bit of Tokyo, America. Wait, you're properly going. Have you not booked it yet? No, no, I've already got me... No, I haven't actually. Shit, I need to get on to that. That's a key part of the trip. Aidan is booking the trip.

Yeah, glad we could remind you. Not good, Aidan, not good. You're taking on our lady today, the 32 from Napier, and they had a speaking line on Outrageous Fortune. Now, that is a claim to fame. Welcome to the show, Amy. G'day, Amy. Hello.

Do you still remember it word for word? I do. Would you like me to perform it for you? Yes, please. I love that. It was, no, that's Wednesdays. On Fridays, she goes to brainy school. Were you at school with Pascal or something?

Yeah, yeah. So the scene was that she was wagging school and everyone in the class had all these different reasons as to why she wasn't there. I felt like I was watching Outrageous Fortune just then. It was fun. You went to school with Pascal. I went to an island

with Pascal. Oh yeah. Celebrity Treasure Island. She was a lovely human. Okay, let's get into this thing. Tradie vs. Lady. Aidan, your buzzer is Tradie.

Amy, your buzzer is Lady. First to three correct answers gets 50 bucks cash from KFC. Question number one. What was Pepsi originally introduced as? Was it Yahoo, Brad's Drink or Coke 2.0? Jodie. Yes, Aidan.

Coke 2.0? No, unfortunately. No, incorrect. Amy, you want to have a guess? The first one? Yahoo. Yahoo. No, that's another drink. We were looking for Brad's drink, apparently. What a terrible name for a drink. Hence why they changed it. No points there.

Question number two. If I was doing the Paso Doble, what would I be doing? Lady. Yes, Amy. A dance. That is correct. It's a style of dance. Nice work. You're on the board. One to the ladies. Question, Amy. A dance. That is correct. It's a style of dance. Nice work.

You're on the board. One to the ladies. Question number three. Buzz in when you can tell me who sings this song. Yes, Aidan. Bruno Mars. It is, of course, the man himself, Bruno Mars. We are one apiece in this game.

Question number four. On what Japanese city was the first atomic bomb dropped? Lady. Yes, Amy. Hiroshima. That is correct. Nice work. Two to the ladies, one to the tradies.

You need this one here, Aidan, to stay in it. Question number five. What sport does Lydia co-play? Ladies. I'm going to just give it to Amy. Golf. It is correct. just give it to Amy. Goal. It is correct. You've got the win.

Lady. Oh, oh, oh, she's a lady. Well done, Ames. You've got 50 bucks cash coming your way thanks to KFC. Work it. Thank you so much. Nice work. Tight game.

Bree and Clint. Let's talk about YouTubers and podcasters. Okay. clint let's talk about uh youtubers and podcasters uh there's a couple by the name of faith kelly and ethan pain who are making waves this week uh when one of the topics on their podcast has gone viral right because faith kelly um who is the female in the relationship, has voiced to her partner, Ethan, that she would like to keep her last name when they get married. Oh, okay. She wants to get married.

Are they engaged? I don't even know if they're engaged. Okay, so it could be hypothetical. It could be. But he's not having a bar of it. He doesn't want her to keep her last name. She must take his last name. And they're having an bar of it he doesn't want her to keep her last name he must take uh she must take his last name and they're having an argument over it uh take a listen ethan says he won't propose to

me because i want to be kelly payne faith doesn't want to take my name that irks me no yes i want to take your name i just want to take mine as well i'm not saying no because otherwise then i just wouldn't change my name i'm saying i want to put mine there but kelly payne so if anyone goes oh what's your name i'll be like oh faith pain so what's the point in because i don't want to lose my association with my family you know yeah okay great so let me keep it no it's a personal thing i've grown up with the name my whole life i like it i'm going to keep it no so she wants both names. She doesn't even want to not have his name at all. I think she's compromising.

Yeah. I think she probably just wants to keep her name, but she knows he's not going to let her do that. So she's like, oh, well, I'll just have both. And he's like, absolutely not. The issue here is that she's got really good reasons for the way that she feels. She's got a great reason.

He doesn't have any good reasons for the way he feels. His reason was just do it. Everyone else is doing it. Just do it. The majority of people are doing it so you're gonna do it. Yeah. Lots of people do do it and if you want to do it, great. It's the social norm

but obviously if you don't want to do it, your partner should be understanding of that. I feel like he's being a bit rough. Like she's kind of given a good reason. She's also compromised and said I'll have both names. It also says in the article that on all of her documentation, like her driver's licence or her passport or whatever,

it'll be a hyphenated name. But if someone asks her, she will just say that her name is his last name. Oh, really? That's what she's trying to compromise. She's giving him almost everything. He hasn't thought it through. This is his problem. He hasn't thought through the ramifications of what he's saying

because he's sounding very sort of, very bossy, like very old school man of the house in that situation. And times have moved on. My wife, when we got married, kept her last name and her reasoning for it was, I have been this person my whole life. And when we get married, I'm not going to be a different person.

So I don't want to have a different name. So does that mean your wife has a different name to your kids? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because your kids have your last name, hey? Oh, we made up a new last name for them. Oh, do they have a completely new last name?

No, that would really complicate it. Imagine if I had a last name, she had a last name, and they had a last name. Yeah, which is like a mesh of the two names. No one would know who to return them to at the end of the day. Exactly. I thought we could ask people. I love hearing when people do something different

and it can look very different in a lot of different ways. It doesn't just have to be hyphenated or she kept her last name and you kept your last name. Maybe you came up with a completely new name. Maybe you took her last name or maybe you kept your last name maybe you came up with a completely new name maybe you took her last name or maybe your maybe you switched last names yeah yeah that's even more you took his and he took yours that's strange isn't it well you can legally i think i think i think you can do anything yeah i don't know but i think you can do anything. My sister put it off for so long. She was like, yeah, I'll do it. Yeah.

Yeah, I'll do it. But she didn't want to give up her last name. It's a part of her identity. It's a part of where she came from, you know, and eventually she changed her last name because her husband really wanted her to but I could tell that she didn't want to. A lot of people

change it in conversation but they never legally change it. They just never get around to it. I could tell that she didn't want to. A lot of people change it in conversation, but they never legally change it. They just never get around to it. My sister did that for many years. Because what a pain in the ass changing your licence and all that. So annoying. Unless you want to do it. So how did it go for you guys?

Did you do something other than the traditional taking your partner's last name when you guys got married? We would love to hear about it. Oh, 800-DIALS-ZM or you can text us on 9696. Did you keep your last name? Did you make it hyphenated? Did he take your last name? Or did you do something completely different?

Yeah, what are the options in 2023? Heap of options. Make up a name. Yeah. Completely new name. Take a name of your favourite Star Wars name. Take a name of like your favourite like Star Wars character. You could if you want. Like call yourself like the Chewbacca family.

Yeah, the Chewbaccas. It's up to you. So what did you guys do? Rebecca's caught up on 0800 dials at him. G'day, Rebecca. Hi, Beck. Hey, how's it going? Good, thanks.

Are you talking from personal experience? Is this what you did? Yeah, so all my children have got my? Good, thanks. Are you talking from personal experience? Is this what you did? Yeah, so all my children have got my last name, definitely. Okay, that's cool. I don't understand how it's 2023 and women are still, like, catering as though men are the dominant species or gender over us. And why wasn't that woman, like, just as equally outraged that he wasn't taking her name?

Yeah, it was quite full on. He was being quite just a bit, I don't know. He didn't really have a good train of thought either. He had no real good argument. I think that's half of why it's newsworthy. I think half of it is because she spoke up for herself and the other half is because

he is so stubborn about it. Yeah, so close-, closed-minded. But can I ask, are you still with the partner of your kids? Yeah. And what was the situation when you guys... Were you married? Were you discussing...

Yeah, did you get married? Did you discuss it? Don't even get me started on marriage. I wouldn't get married either. Right, so marriage not for you? No, if he wants to be the same as me and the kids, he's totally free to change his last name to be the same as us. But you're not going to marry him?

No. So they signed a paper for the government to show that I love someone. No, that's not, not care. Geez, Rebecca's got some strong views. I totally, like, it's fair enough. If marriage isn't for you, like, and if it is for you, then great, go do it. But if it's not for you, then, I mean, I totally understand that. There's a lot of people on the text machine in the same situation as Beck

where the kids have taken their last name. Yeah. But the dad has still kept his last name. Yeah. And they're married. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, they are married. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, they are married.

They're married, and they both kept their names. And then when they had kids, a lot of people on text machines saying that either the kids took their last name or they hyphenated it. Let's get some more ideas.

Amanda's on 0800-DARLS-AT-HIM. Hi, Amanda. G'day, Amanda. Hi. Tell us, what's the situation? We're good. What's the situation in your family Amanda? So when I got married I actually hyphenated my name so it's got like my maiden name first

and then my husband's name second. Oh yeah okay. What you're referring to, what that lady said 100% I mean it was my heritage. It's who I was brought up as. And I was also, I'm also studying. And I mean, all of my effort I put in is based as my maiden last name for all the years that I've worked hard. And I don't, as horrible as it may sound,

it's not really associated with him how hard I've worked to get that. Yeah, I know what you mean. You associate it with the name that you've had your whole life and the name that you've had and you want that name to be on all of those papers when you get those degrees, right? Yeah, all of the hard work that I've put in to get where I am now has been with that last name.

Are you worried the degrees would be null and void if you changed your name? You'd go for a job and they'd go, no, it says that this person is qualified, but on the application, your name is this over here. It's actually with a hyphenated name. You wouldn't be surprised at how tricky it is when you give that to people. Yeah, right. They need more information. They're like, oh, are you sure?

Are you sure it's you? Do you and your husband have long names? Because I feel like it couldn't work for some last names. If it's too long and then you hyphenate it. Well, it's like a hyphenated Mary's a hyphenated and then you've got to be quadruple hyphenated. Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm lucky because even hyphenated, it's only like

three syllables, effectively, so it's not huge. Yeah, totally. It still irks me that people still refer to me as Mrs. My husband's last name. Because that's just so the social norm, I guess.

Yeah, and especially because my husband's in the military, you're always Mrs. However. Yeah, yeah. It's a bit Handmaid's Tale. Yeah, it's so far back, and I agree with the last caller. We're in, you know, this era. Yeah, I get it.

Things should probably change a little. Yeah. Alright, thanks Amanda, we appreciate it. Someone on the text machine has said, me and my partner are having this discussion at the moment. Oh, this is timely. We're getting married in three weeks, and my last name is very well known in the area, and I'm proud of my last name,

where my partner's last name isn't the same as his mum's as she was adopted, and he doesn't even talk to the people his last name is associated with. Oh, that's an easy solution. But because of the gender norms and him being a very proud man, he thinks him taking my name is me wearing the pants and how it might look to his friends and family. So hyphenated is our current option.

Give him time. He just needs some time to come around to it. Oh, I would love to take the, like, if you've got a cool name, I'd be like, sweet, about time I ditched this name. That means nothing to me. Here's a radical solution on the text machine. Easy fix. Don't get married.

Don't have kids. Save names and money and time. Done. Fix. How many days till Christmas? How many days in November? 30 days? How's September?

54? 30 plus 24. I think I'm right. 54 days. Oh, that was some quick math from me. Well done. Yeah. She's getting better.

Don't ask me any more further questions. How many days till New Year? No, no, no. I said no further questions. Look, the annual list from Gwyneth Paltrow's line, Goop, has been released where she gives suggestions of things that smell like her vagina. No.

No. Suggestions of what she thinks would be great Christmas gifts. Oh yeah. She releases this every year. I'm convinced that Gwyneth Paltrow is punking us all. I'm convinced that she is trolling all of us

because there is no way that this list every year can be in any way serious. My memories of it in the past, the items are either redonkulously expensive or just redonkulous. They're just ridiculous in every way, like the price, the thing, just everything. But I thought it would be a bit of fun to go through some of them.

Do you want to hear what's on the list this year? Yeah. My wife. My wife. My wife. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah.

Excuse me, Bree. My wife. Yeah. Subscribes to the Gwyneth Paltrow ethos. Yes. She would love a Christmas gift off the goop list. Well, you see if there's anything. She'd love a goopy Christmas.

I don't know if you can afford anything on here, to be honest. But let's go through some of the stuff that's on the list. Let's kick it off with a champagne saber. Oh, okay. And by a champagne saber, I mean this is a knife that you use to cut the top of a champagne bottle off. It's a literal sword, isn't it? It's a literal sword. This one is called

Maiden Champagne Sabre and it's really, I mean really nicely priced at $313. Oof. For a sword that's only good for cutting champagne? That's all it does. Yeah. It doesn't do anything else.

I can't cut Christmas turkey with it? Nah, it's not that type of saber. Let's move right along. Yeah, pass on that. Next one, please. Pass on that one. Maybe you'll be interested in this. You've got two young girls.

Yeah. There's a Louis Vuitton wardrobe that is for a dollhouse. Okay. Okay. So it's a miniature wardrobe that you put inside a dollhouse. Exactly. My daughters have a dollhouse. Yeah, so it's a little miniature Louis Vuitton. So it looks like a Louis Vuitton trunk.

And it's got clothes and stuff in it, but that isn't included in this price. Okay, this is just the trunk. Just the trunk. You need to buy the clothes and the shoes separate. But for the trunk, it's, you know, a very reasonable price at $115,000. What? I thought you were going to say $1,000 and I was going to tell you to get out. $115,000.

Look, this is what it looks like. I mean, very visual for everyone else. No, you're joking. You've read it wrong. No, I haven't. I haven't read it wrong. I'm telling you. How much is that?

That's $115,000. A Louis Vuitton baby wardrobe. Isn't that outrageous? Okay, let's move on to some of the ones that, I mean, this is probably the one that I think is actually a great idea and I might even buy this as a gift for people. Okay. And please, if anyone is listening that wants to buy me a gift,

I will welcome this as a gift. Parmesan cheese. Oh. Like half a wheel or a whole wheel of Parmesan cheese. Gwyneth Paltrow says, great gift. And I have to agree with her. I have to be on board with this. I think this is a fantastic idea.

We get our cheese pretty cheap from Costco these days. So what's a wheel of Gwyneth's best cheese going to set us back? Well, this particular cheese is from the oldest dairy in Parma and one of the only four dairies making Parmigiano-Reggiano from the milk of brown cows. It's $623 for a wedge. Pretty cheap compared to that Louis Vuitton wardrobe, to be honest. Yummy.

Nothing you say is going to shock me anymore. Anything is cheap. Let's just roll through some of these. There's an Hermes doghouse on there for $3,000. There's a pair of Chanel roller skates for $8,000. But the piece of resistance, the thing... The what, sorry?

The piece of resistance. The piece of resistance. Okay, yeah. Wait, what's it normally? Pista. Huh? Don't worry. Okay.

Is the 24-carat gold adult vibrating toy for $23,634. A $23,000 vibrating toy for $23,634. A $23,000 vibrating toy? Yeah, it's gold plated. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Hey, gold member.

Hey, gold member. Send that one to your boyfriend and say, if you don't buy this for me, you don't think I'm worth it. Oh, it looks really nice. I'll bet it does. It's $23,000. Yeah, maybe not for $23,000. You'd want it to be rechargeable for that price, eh?

You'd want it to be. I don't want to be buying batteries. Bree and Clint. This is the latest live from LA with Dean McCarthy. Dean, this is massive news. Who is the big A-list star that's engaged for the second time? Oh, my goodness. Channing Tatum and Zoe Kravitz are engaged.

They've been dating for two years now, and they are finally ready to tie the knot. They are engaged. She was spotted wearing a wedding ring. I don't think they've actually announced anything. No, they haven't. I'm like, wait, have they announced it? No, she just got spotted with the wedding ring, I don't think they've actually announced anything. No, they haven't. I'm like, wait, have they announced it? No. She just got spotted

with the wedding ring. Sources told page six. And of course, their reps, that's right, their reps have not said anything on it. So they're keeping it a bit low-key. They are very, very famous. They don't really need to be doing press releases and stuff on this kind of thing. But I can confirm

one thing. I saw Lenny Kravitz at the iHeartRadio Music Festival, which we all went to. He is that good looking. Yeah. He is probably the best. He's hotter. He is so good looking.

Dean, you're a good person. You've met both of these. You're a good person to judge. Who's more attractive, Lenny Kravitz or Channing Tatum? Lenny Kravitz. Wow, Tatum? Lenny Kravitz. Wow, okay. Quick answer. Yeah, rappers.

Whoa. So, not to name drop, but get ready to pick up a couple of names. Get down, bend your knees. So,

I interviewed him when he did the Hunger Games for the first time. That was the first time I met Lenny Kravitz. And him and I made up our own little handshake.

And every year on his birthday, I like to repost it because I'm that guy. But no, he's so hot, and he's got the cool factor. Yeah, he's got a cool aura about him. That's the only way to describe it. Not everyone has like an aura, but he has an aura. Not every man can pull off leather pants, but Lenny Kravitz pulls off leather pants. Very well.

Very well. Very well. And his daughter's just as cool. I didn't realise that because I knew Channing and Zoe Kravitz had, I remember when we talked about that they were dating and then I thought that just kind of fizzled out, but they've been dating for two years and now they're engaged apparently. Do you reckon Channing Tatum had to go and ask Lenny Kravitz for his blessing? Probably.

I'd say so. I'll put it on that. What a weird situation. There you go. That's the goss out of Los Angeles with our Hollywood correspondent and personal friend of Lenny Kravitz, Dean McCarthy. They've even got their own special handshake, guys. Yeah.

It's official. Exciting news for Christchurch today because they're getting their very own Monopoly board. Oh, that's official. Exciting news for Christchurch today because they're getting their very own Monopoly board. Oh, that's good. Yeah, they're the fourth, I believe, the fourth city in New Zealand to get one. And then I think New Zealand as a whole also has one.

They really wanted a stadium, but they will settle for a Monopoly board. Oh, not bad, not bad. We could have done with that indoor sports arena by now, but we'll take a Monopoly board. We'll put the stadium off for a couple more years if you give us the Monopoly board. Yeah.

It's quite interesting. Fix the cathedral. Oh, Monopoly board. Oh, that's good too. That sounds good too. We'll take it. We'll take it uh we'll take it um it made me think about what is on the new zealand version of the game yeah because i have been a monopoly fan since

i could remember still a massive fan of monopoly more so monopoly deal these days but i always am so interested to see what is the equivalent of the original board to when it obviously gets these different limited edition versions. Yeah, yeah. So I looked into it. Do you know what is on the New Zealand Monopoly board? They're pretty bog standard, aren't they? It's like Queen Street in Auckland. It's pretty bloody boring, to be honest.

Is it like Cuba Street in Wellington, which is not boring, but... It's like Trafalgar Street in Nelson, cameron road in todonga cathedral square cameron road yeah this could be the old version but this is what i could find on the internet it needs a refresh if you ask me wow there's pack and save and you know what while we're here i feel like it shouldn't be roads or streets it should be landmarks or places or like things. Yeah. You know, like iconic things. And everything needs an update because our history has moved on.

Yeah. I think we need to update it. And I thought this afternoon. People used to go to Queen Street as something to do. Now they actively avoid Queen Street because it's terrifying. Exactly. I thought we could, this afternoon, together as a team, throw out some suggestions.

If the Monopoly people are listening, I mean, feel free to take these ideas. This is for a New Zealand-wide Monopoly. New Zealand-wide Monopoly. What is going on the board? Can I go first? Yeah. One of the utilities, you know, you land on a utility, you have to pay money. One of them could be the viaduct in Auckland where you lose $200 and your dignity.

Yeah, that's good. Yeah. See, it's relatable. Because that's usually what happens when you go to the viaduct. You lose about $200 and your dignity. Exactly right. Just rolling off of that, instead of having the community chest on the board, because it's relevant, more relevant, we could just have,

you've landed on the cost of living crisis. Yeah. And you just have to give money over every time. Yeah, sounds good, yeah. You know? Perfect, yeah. Well, that one got applause. They loved it so much.

What else you got? What if you're, you know, you could be the boot or the car or whatever. Yeah. What if your icon was a little, tiny little dildo and your goal was to get to Waitangi so you could hit Stephen Joyce in the face. You know when the dildo hit him when he was up at Waitangi? Or that could just be a permanent place.

Like instead of having Fleet Street, you have Stephen Joyce getting hit in the face with an adult toy. I like the idea that his face is there and you are the dildo. Oh, good. You have to get to his face. So it's just Stephen Joyce. Yeah. there and you are the dildo. Oh, good. And you have to get to his face. So it's just Steve and Joyce. Yeah. Because I always think about Mayfair and Park Lane,

which are the two dark blue. They're the most valuable ones, eh? They're the most valuable ones on the board. And the equivalent in New Zealand would probably be Remuera and Fendleton. No, you know what it is? What? It's Lord's House in Herne Bay. Oh. That's the most valuable property on the board. You get to buy Lord's House's Lord's House in Herne Bay. Oh. That's the most valuable property on the board.

You get to buy Lord's House. Lord's House if you want to. Yeah. Yeah, that would be good. Hopperton would be on the board. Kadrona Bra Fence would be on there. That Kadrona Spades Ale House. Yeah.

That everyone gets the photo in front of. And the biggest one, I reckon, on the board, one of the most important landmarks in New Zealand, Puzzle World in Wanaka. Puzzle World? Don't you knock Puzzle World. It is the backbone of that town. Actually, I've got nothing against Puzzle World. Have you been there

recently? It's a joy. Okay, let's talk up Puzzle World. Can we stop talking up the pathetic Wanaka tree? Because that thing is grim. It looks so beautiful and all the postcards and then you go there and grim. Yeah, it's literally just a tree. It looks so beautiful and all the postcards and then you go there and you're like, bro, this is a tree. No, that would be on the board.

It's not even a good tree. That's going to be on the board. I forgot about the Wanaka tree. Okay, what else is going on the board? We're going to throw this open. If the good people at Monopoly are listening, you're welcome to these ideas. If you want to put your ideas on the new Monopoly board.

You can have them. What are the most iconic places and things or people and moments that should go on a 2023 version of a New Zealand Monopoly board? 0800 dial ZM or you can text us on 9696. Let's refresh this thing.

God, you guys are funny. I'm just reading some of these texts. Some of them are so good. We're asking for your suggestions. We think the Monopoly board, the New Zealand version needs an update because it's pretty boring. It's just a bit old and stuffy, eh? It just doesn't, I feel like,

represent New Zealand in 2023. We're putting the Viaduct on there. We're putting Lord's House on there. I missed one before. You know how you can buy like a row of properties? And I reckon you should be able to collect a row of properties that belong to property you should be able to collect a row of properties that belong to property developer slash DJ Max Key.

Yeah. You should be able to get the keys to Key Way or something like that. That'd be good. Yeah. You know, there's a Max Key development literally like the street over from me. Up from your street, yeah. I mean, they're everywhere. There's so many good suggestions on here.

Someone said instead of free parking, when you get money, it should be a wins payout. Yeah, you get a working for families tax credit instead of free parking. Yeah, someone else said the bucket fountain in Wellington. Yeah. The iconic bucket fountain. People get so disappointed when they see our bucket fountain. I love that bucket fountain. I hate that bucket fountain in Wellington. Yeah. The iconic bucket fountain. People get so disappointed when they see our bucket fountain.

I love that bucket fountain. I hate that bucket fountain. Someone said, I don't know how we do it, but we have to put Tina from Turner's on the board. Oh, she needs to be on the board. She is a New Zealand icon. You know what she loves? What?

Cars, cars, cars. She could be like, instead of the car piece, it's like Tina from Turners. Lauren's caught up. You want to help us put together this Monopoly board? Hi, Lauren. Hi, Lauren. Hello, how are you?

Good, thanks. Tell us, Lauren, what should be on the board? So you know the little icons that you move around the board? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could get a ponytail for the time that John Key pulled his girl's ponytail. You be the ponytail and someone else has to play as John Key and he's chasing you as a ponytail around the board. Yeah, getting chased around the board.

Yeah, that's good. Lauren, you know what's so funny is someone else text through a similar thing. They said when you pick up one of the community chess cards, it could say John Key pulls your ponytail at a press conference, claim $200,000. So good. It's good. They might conference. Claim $200,000. So good. It's good.

They might think alike. Yeah, thanks, Lauren. I like it. You could be one of the sausage rolls that gets eaten by Chris Hipkins. Yeah, that's good. We need to incorporate the time Chris Hipkins said spread your legs. Get outside and spread your legs during COVID. Yeah, someone else said our mighty gore trout should be on the board.

I totally agree. It definitely should be. 100% should be. How have we not think of it the giant LMP bottle? Yeah, that goes on there. Well, that's a given though. That's got to be on there.

Castle Street in Dunedin. Castle Street in Dunedin can be the shittest, cheapest street on the board. It would be the brown ones just as you start. With a hole in them. You know?

Yeah, there's like beer stains on the board or something like that. Yeah. Someone said the corrugated iron sheep. Oh, the sheep and dog and Jesus that are in Tito. Yeah, those are a great option. That's another good one. The sheep, the

dog, the Jesus combo and then the pookiko up on top of the thing. Yeah. Someone said another one. Best kebabs in Gore. Not the biggest, but deserves a shout out. Yeah. I agree with the biggest, but deserves a shout out. Yeah. I agree with you. 100% deserves a shout out. Taika Waititi's new $10.9 million house in

Pointe Chevre. That could be the most expensive property. Yeah. God, he paid a lot for it. To all the people who are texting in the dildo that got thrown at that MP. Yes, we've got that. No, that's already on the board. You play as a dildo and you have to travel to Stephen Joyce's face on the board. What could be some of the other pieces?

Pineapple lumps, someone said. Yeah. That's a good one. You can play as a pineapple lump. Someone said best kebabs in gore. It's not the biggest, but it deserves a shout out. Okay, we'll get best kebabs from gore on there. What else?

Yeah, producer Ella. Throw in some ideas. All right. What about fish? You know the little characters? Fish and then chips. Yeah, those are good. Running around.

Thank you. That's good. Someone said one of the properties could be the burnt down Sky City Convention Centre. That could be on there. That thing, that thing, Brie and I drive past it every day. That thing burnt down before COVID. Yeah, just before, eh? And they still haven't finished rebuilding it.

Yeah. It burnt down in 2019. A lot of it burnt down. You know what should be on the board as well? Yeah. Briscoes, but then also the Briscoes, you can play as the Briscoes lady as well. Yes.

And someone said if you get a card where Judith Collins says that her husband is Samoan, you advance directly to go. play as the Briscoe's lady as well. Yes. And someone said if you get a card where Judith Collins says that her husband is Samoan, you advance directly to go. No, you advance directly to Telofa. Oh, you advance directly to Telofa. Yeah, perfect. Bree and Clint. Time for some Google Down.

Do you feel lucky? Well, do you? It's time for Bree and Clint's Google Down. Punk. Here we go. Another round of Google Down. Another opportunity for someone to pick up some KFC. Where we can find out who is the fastest Googler this week.

No, Producer Claude, who is, I want to say, majority of the time the winner. Yeah, she's got the special sauce in this game somehow. She does have the edge. But Clint will be versing Producer Ella today. Here's the winner. Yeah, she's got the special sauce in this game somehow. She does have the edge but Clint will be versing producer Ella today. Here's the rules. I put these exact questions into Google. I'm looking for the first most common answer that comes up on Google

for that exact question. First person to yell out the correct answer wins a point. First to three takes the win. Got it. Everyone ready? Ready, ready, ready. Here we go. Question number one. How many years does a donkey live for? 27 to 40 years. That is correct, Ella. Thank you. One for me.

Nice work. 27 to 40 years. Wow, that's pretty impressive. Yeah, it's quite a long time, eh? That's a long time for a pet. Well, 27 is very different to 40. You could meet a 40-year-old donkey. A donkey that was born in 1983. My parents bought these two donkeys recently because the dingoes were eating all our baby lambs.

Yeah. And did you know that donkeys are meant to... They protect. They're meant to protect like your flock of sheep. Anyway, these that donkeys are meant to... They protect. They're meant to protect like your flock of sheep. Anyway, these two donkeys are so dumb, they did nothing. Do you still have them? Yeah, we still got them. They're just like...

Chilling. They're meant to be guardian ass angels. Yeah, literally. All right, next. Question number two, one to Ella. Who invented the wheel? Summerang people. I'll take that.

Sumerian. Sorry. Sumerian. Sumerian. But I knew what you meant. Sumerian people. The fourth millennial BC. Prove that.

Prove that you invented the wheel. Prove it. TikTok wasn't there. Where's the video proof? Yeah. That's two to Ella. She's off to a flying start. Let's hope the pressure doesn't get to her.

Clint, you need this one. Question number three. What year was the song Hit Me Baby One More Time a global hit? 1998. 1998. That is correct. 1998. 1998. That is correct. 1998. My gut said guess and I would have said 1999.

I was lucky you didn't guess. Lucky you didn't guess. Okay. Now I will preempt this question with the fact that normally I will allow guesses, but for this question, no guesses. Okay. So I feel like you've had a guess. What?

You're disqualified. Okay. Which I'll judge it based on obviously how much time. We can just show you whether we Googled it or not. That's true. True, true, true. Okay, we can do that. Here we go.

Question number four. What came first, the colour orange or the fruit? The fruit. The fruit. No. No. The fruit. Damn it.

Correct. Clint just got it. So the colour is named after the fruit. That makes sense. The word didn't come to describe. Sorry, wait. What was that? I put it down here as well.

The citrus... Yeah, pretty much 200 years after the fruit. Yeah. Yeah, so it was definitely... They weren't like, hey, those oranges are orange. Yeah, exactly. They went,

this colour is the same colour as an orange. Exactly. That's so buzzy. Yeah, it is when you think about it. Interesting though, eh? Okay. This is for the win. We're all tied up.

Okay, calm. Here we go. Question number five. How many NBA championships has LeBron James won? Four. Four. Ella just gets in and she takes the win. What a game, though.

I feel like that one meant a lot to Ella, that one. You can tell. Yeah. Look at her, which means, Emma, you backed in Ella and you get the 50 KFC chicken dollars. That's awesome. Thank you. Nice work.

You enjoy. Look how stoked she is. Hey, Ella, it was my pleasure to let you win today. You say that, but I was good. I knew how much it meant to you and I do not feel bad about letting you have the win. No, I'm so happy. I could cry right now. Don't do that to her.

I wanted to beat your little smug face, so I did. And I was happy to let you. I was happy to listen to him. Don't let him take it away from you. Spoiler alert, if you haven't watched the Rugby World Cup final yet, I'm going to give you five seconds to turn the radio down.

I feel like you don't have to say spoiler alert for sporting games. Don't assume. No, I will assume on this occasion. Not everyone's got Sky. No, I'm going to assume. Wasn't it on free-to-air TV? Well, not everyone's got a TV. Okay, five, four, three, two, one.

We won! Yay! We are world champions! Hooray! Just kidding. We lost by one point and it was agonising and frustrating and it's all the goddamn TMO's fault. It's all his fault.

It's all his fault. It's not our fault. It's not that South Africa were the better team. It's not that they are back-to-back world champions. It's that guy in the box with the video screen. I was reading something today on how much money the All Blacks players missed out on by not winning the Rugby World Cup final. Yeah, I think people might not realise sometimes that they do win bonuses.

Yeah, yeah. I know in State of Origin in the rugby league, if they win the series, they win quite a hefty bonus. Do you know how much? Ah, I think it changes. Yeah. I heard at one point it was like, I think at one point I heard it was like 50k.

Oh yeah, decent. Yeah. The All Blacks lost by one point and that one point means each of the players each missed out on $150,000. Wow, no wonder they were so sad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were gutted.

They were like, that was going to pay for my new pool. While Sam Kane was in the bin on his red card, he was like, $150,000. $150,000. The landscaping, I couldn't know. Oh, $150,000. I've just had a kid. $150,000. $150,000. The landscaping I could have done. Oh, $150,000. I've just had a kid. $150,000.

Everyone in the whole squad would have got that $150,000, not just the 23 players that played that day. Every single member of the squad would have got $150,000. How much is that altogether? Heaps. Heaps. I reckon they took 35 players over there with them.

Do the math on it. Do the coaching staff get it? I don't know. Who knows? It's over $5 million. Whoa! That money didn't come from Rugby New Zealand. It was going to come from Edidas, from the sponsor. Isn't that crazy? Yeah.

Isn't that crazy? That's so much money. That's why you want to be sponsored by Edidas and not by, who does the Wallabies jersey? Essex or some shit. Careful. Well, you want to go for the big dogs. You want to have a Nike or an Edidas on there. Mate, have you put your foot in an Essex gel Kayano?

You can't beat it. The support. But do they have $5.5 million to pay the players if they win? Probably not. I don't know. But you know what? The Wallabies, pretty safe bet. Yeah.

They saved a lot of money. They're like, we will pay you all $150,000 if you win the Rugby World Cup. And the Wallabies are like, great deal. And then the guys at Essex are like, don't worry, guys. We're pretty safe. We're all good. Money in the bank, baby. We will give you guys a million dollars each.

Yeah. And they're like, deal. Out in the rounds. They got 35 grand each just for making the final. So that's not too bad, you know? Yeah. $35,000 bonus payment for making it into the final. Pretty good.

150 grand on top of that if they had won it. About one point. One point. They're each writing a DM to Wayne Barnes. They're like, dear Wayne, I was going to get a Tesla. You owe me. But now, now I can't get a Tesla and I have to play super rugby again. Thanks a lot.

Wayne's like, oh, I feel so bad. Wayne's in South Africa right now on a golden throne, just feeling like the king of the world. They're like, we love Wayne. We love Wayne. They've given him the key to the country. He's running the place. I didn't see a Galicia in a spa pool.

They've given him a mansion there. But we're over it, by the way. We're not bitter. I can tell. We're very mature. We've moved on. And it's just a game. They've given him a mansion there. But we're over it, by the way. We're not bitter. I can tell. We're very mature. We've moved on. And it's just a game and it doesn't really matter. So it's all good.

I totally believe you. It's that time of the day where every day we do a birthday banger. Right, jump on board the birthday banger train. Number one songs on your 16th birthdays. We'll do three and we'll pick our favourite one to play out in full. Hi, Sophie. G'day, Soph. Hello.

It's your turn to do a birthday banger. Yeah, I think my nine-year-old is really excited in the back. Okay, great. What's your nine-year-old's name, Sophie? Her name's Kaya. Okay, Kaya, we're very excited to do your mum's birthday banger, but we need your birthday, Sophie. 28th of October, 1989.

All right, that means you were 16 in 2005. And back on your 16th birthday, this was number one. I bet that you look good on the dance floor. I don't know what you're looking for, my soul. I don't know what you're looking for. And back on your 16th birthday, this was number one. Banger, Arctic Monkeys. I bet you look good on the dance floor. Yeah, not bad, not bad. Not bad, not bad. Back when they were good.

Oh, what? Who said that? Okay, wait there, Sophie. Not too bad, Sophie. We're going to do a birthday banger for Marcy on our $800. Hi, Marcy. Hi, Marcy. Hi. How's your week been so far, Marce?

Not too bad. I just started a new job, and I've got a very excited six- and four-year-old in the car listening to you guys. Oh, cool. What are their names? Ruben and Declan. Oh, well, hello. Ruben and Declan. Ruben and Declan. And what's the new job, Marcy?

It's doing some Excel data work for aluminium outfits. Anyone who can work Excel is way smarter than us, so good on you. Well done. Nice work, Marcy. Good to have you on the show. What's your birthday? 26 October 85.

All right, that means you were 16 in 2001. And Marcy, let me take you back to your 16th with this one. Oh, come on, Marcy, that's awesome. A bit of Kylie Minogue. That takes me back. I'm too old now. This is the song that plays in the gay bar on The Simpsons. Do you remember?

Yeah. When Homer accidentally ends up in the gay bar and they're all dancing to this Kylie Minogue song. I mean, pretty accurate. Yeah. Marcy, do you like Kylie Minogue or not for you? Not too bad. It's all right.

It's not bad. It's not a bad one from the Australian. Holly, let's do yours. You've got the last one today. What's your birthday? Thursday is the 2nd of November, 2001. All right, Holly. It wasn't that long ago, but back in 2017, you turned 16,

and on that day, this was number one. Havana Unana. Half a mile. Oh, Havana Unana. I reckon it's a pretty good banger. Yeah. Camila Cabello, that was huge for her. You're a big fan?

Yeah. Like quite a few of her songs, actually. Yeah. I'm quite happy with that. We haven't heard much from Camila Cabello in a while, to be honest. But she was huge when this song came out. Being pretty quiet. Okay, good.

Easy. Arctic Monkeys is my vote. Is it? Being pretty quiet. Okay, good. Easy. Arctic Monkeys is my vote. Is it? Yeah, Sophie. I was going to vote Kylie Minogue. Were you? Yeah. You can. I'm going to vote Kylie Minogue, which means Ella, you're going to choose the winner of Birthday Banger out of those three songs today. Oh, crikey. What is it going to be?

She's panicked. I just want to go old school and fun. We'll go with Sophie. Sophie, I bet you look good on the dance floor. Dance floor one. Brilliant. Okay, perfect. Sophie, you've won birthday banger this afternoon.

Yahoo. Hooray. Nice work. Thanks for calling through, guys. Thank you. Here you go. What year is this, Brie? This is 2005. Oh, yeah, I was wrong What year is this, Brie? This is 2005.

Oh, yeah, I was wrong. This is the right choice. Brie and Clint. From the Arctic Monkeys, I bet you look good on the dance floor. Hey, by the way, if you've got a long drive home this afternoon, we've got a lot coming up for you.

We've got a double pass to Fridays Live up for grabs just after 5.30 if Mama Di can win it for you. And then before 6 o'clock, Bill Bailey, international comedian extraordinaire, the guy from Black Books, Bill Bailey's coming in studio for a chat. Yeah, he's touring the country with his comedy show,

so we'll get the deets on that with him. But first, I saw this story that's out of Adelaide in Australia, and it's from another, it's from a radio station that were running a competition to give away tickets to see Taylor Swift. Oh, yeah. We did that. And I think, I think it's gone too far. Oh.

I think it's gone too far. There's a show in Adelaide that decided to run a competition called Parent of the Era. Okay. Obviously, a play on Taylor Swift Era's Tour. Era's Tour, yeah. Where essentially parents could compete to win tickets to see Taylor Swift. For their kids. For their kids.

Okay, yeah. And the winner would be decided based on how much the parent did to show their love and support for their child to try and win these tickets, right? And the kids get to go, if you really love me, you will do this thing. Exactly. And I think people could nominate being like, I will do this for my child.

If you choose me, I'll do this. Exactly. We've got some audio of one of the entries. Luke Porter actually has gone above and beyond where, listen, take a listen to what this guy's done. Rachel, just explain what you offered to do to be the parent of the era. I wasn't going to put myself up, but I thought I'd nominate my husband to get a tattoo of Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift on his bum.

Throw dad's bum under the bus, why don't you? Rachel, the wife, said she asked him when he was half asleep. He said yes. The tattoo, he's gotten the tattoo of, let's say, you know, I don't want to jinx a relationship, but it's early days for Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. It's not, yeah, yeah. The tattoo is of her face and his face.

And it's a beautiful tattoo. Don't get me wrong. It's the entire bum cheek. It's the entire bum cheek. I was thinking like a cute little kind of 50 cent coin size. It's a full portrait of both of them. It's huge. Please tell me he got the tickets.

It doesn't say. Imagine if he did that and then some other dad's like, oh, I've got a plane that can do skywriting. I'll do a bungee jump. Yeah. Oh, you've got a whole bum cheek of that. Let's be real. Someone would have to get a tattoo on their face to top that. Imagine if you got Taylor's

face on one bum cheek and Travis's face on the other bum cheek. They were kissing. And where they kiss, like their lips meeting is around your... Yeah, a nose. Around your nose. Yeah. Looks like they're kissing your bum. And as you clap your bum cheeks, it makes them kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. You've got a weird

brain, don't you? Yeah, I wish I didn't say that on the radio, but... You took it too far. Is that Christmas yet? When are we into the end of the year? Are you almost done? Yeah, we're nearly done. We're nearly there. Don't worry.

We're close. I thought we could ask people. Little cheese. Just what is going on? I thought we could ask people this afternoon. And it is a bit of a needle in a haystack, you know, type of question. But did you get a tattoo to win something? Oh, yeah. Or, you know, it of question. But did you get a tattoo to win something? Oh, yeah.

Or, you know, it could have been a competition, could have been a bet. Did you get a tattoo for losing a bet? Or did you get a tattoo for losing something? Yeah. But, yeah, did you get a tattoo for a competition? Radio stations have been guilty of this for decades. Decades and decades.

Challenging you to get a tattoo of something, to go somewhere, get Woodstock bourbon tattooed on your body so you can come to Fiji or something like that. Yeah. You know? And we do apologise for everyone past and present that has been involved in that idea. I wonder if anyone listening to us right now has a ZM logo

tattooed on their body. There would be. There would be. There would be? Yeah. Yeah, 0800ZM. You can text it to 9696. Did you get a tattoo so you could win something or did you get a tattoo because,

specifically because you lost something? We'll get you our next. Bree and Clint. Right now we're asking you, have you ever got a tattoo to win a competition or maybe you got one because you lost a competition or a bet? Would you? Would I?

Yeah. Oh, it depends what it was. If it was to see Taylor Swift at Madison Square Gardens with flights and accommodation, would you get a tattoo? What's the tattoo? It's a big decision. Yeah, I don't know. It's going to be on your body forever.

If it was the tattoo that this guy has gotten for his daughter to win these tickets to see Taylor Swift in Sydney, it's a whole bum cheek tattoo of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. It's not worth it. The tattoo's really well done.

It's a really nice tattoo, but it's just enormous. If they don't give him the tickets, there's going to be outrage. We asked, did you get a tattoo to win something or because you lost something? Someone said, I got a tattoo of a marlin on my leg because I lost a bet. The bet was my mate had to get a nipple piercing and I had to get a tattoo of a fish.

Is that fair? I don't know if that bet's fair. I feel like you... You can take a nipple piercing and I had to get a tattoo of a fish. Is that fair? I don't know if that bit's fair. I feel like you... You can take a nipple piercing out. You can't take a tattoo of a marlin off. Yeah. You can't breastfeed anymore, though. Emily's here.

Hi, Emily. G'day, Em. Hi, guys. Tell us, Em, did you get a tattoo for a competition? I did. Somebody pulled out of a radio competition. They were meant to get a tattoo for a competition? I did. Somebody pulled out of a radio competition that were meant to get a tattoo. Okay. And the radio station came into my work and asked if anyone would do it.

And I put my hand up straight away and I got one. Wow. There you go, Emily. So what were the details? What did you have to get? What did you win? When was it? It was a few years ago now and I had to get 660 tattooed on me

to win tickets to the concert. Okay. And you were like, sweet, sign me up. I get tickets to the concert. And where did you get the 660 tattoo? It's on my arm. Oh, you're not bad. I thought you were going to say your bum.

It's on my bum. And you get a six on one cheek and then a zero on the other cheek and you just, you know. Yeah, that could work. No, I got it on my arm, but I'm covered in tattoos. Oh, right. Do you still like 660? Yeah, absolutely. Sweet.

It's all good then. Good to go. Go for it. Thanks, Emily. Let's talk to Ingrid on 0800-DARLS-NM. Hi, Ingrid. Hi, Ingrid. Hi, guys.

How are you? Good, thanks. Did you get a tattoo for's talk to Ingrid on 0800-DARLS-NM. Hi, Ingrid. Hi, Ingrid. Hi, guys. How are you? Good, thanks. Did you get a tattoo for a competition, Ingrid? Well, not actually for a competition. Well, it is a competition. It was the Rugby World Cup 2011. Okay. And the All Blacks were playing France,

and I was jumping up and down like a crazy person because I love rugby. Yeah. And I said, please, please, if they win, if they win, I will get a tattoo. So, yes, they won. Who did you say that to? God. Whoever was listening. Yeah.

Whoever heard. Just whatever it took. And I did. I eventually got a tattoo on my right ankle of the fern. Yes, you did, Ingrid. What is the tattoo of? A fern. Oh, the fern. Yeah. Oh, perfect. Brilliant. Nice work, Ingrid. What is the tattoo of? A fern. Oh, the fern.

Oh, perfect. Brilliant. Nice work, Ingrid. And were you thinking about getting another tattoo this year? No, because the bloody Wayne Barnes, no. What could have been right, Ingrid? What could have been? Oh, Ingrid, bless your heart.

Someone texted in and they said, I can confirm that you can breastfeed after nipple piercings. There's just extra holes for the milk. There you go. I love this text. We're asking if you got a tattoo to win something. And they said, not specifically for winning something, but I got the strip club stamp tattoo so that I could get in for free.

Oh, my God. That can't be true. That cannot be true. The calendar girl stamp. That cannot be true. Imagine if they changed their stamp. Oh, you'd be gutted. You'd be gutted. Go and read that top text out.

No, actually, don't. You can't read it out. I put one of those. You can't read that out on the radio. I can. I can censor it. Okay. I put one of those W wet transfer tattoos on my downstairs parts

to win a toweling hat and a few beers at a pub in Russell in the Bay of Islands. Is that a big deal, though? Well, you would have had to show them that the tattoo was on there. Yeah, true. Like, I mean, I'd... I wouldn't know what bar that was. And they were like, all Alright, whoever goes to the bathroom

And puts this tattoo on there downstairs I just wouldn't put it in the area Where you've got the pubies Because imagine trying to get that tattoo off It gets all stuck in your pubies It gets stuck and then it's a nightmare True, shave it down first Alright then, our next guest is a comedy legend

That you will know from TV shows like Black Books And Nevermind the Buzzcocks or the trans-Tasman game show that we had here, Patriot Brains. Welcome to the show, Bill Bailey. Hello. Thank you. About time we had someone funny on this show. Thank you.

Oh, you said that with a... There was a degree of disdain. It was self-doubt. Was it self-doubt? Was it? I don't know. Was it self-deprecation or was it hatred? Was that aimed at someone else? I think a bit of both.

Oof. I felt it. Whatever it was. We have just staged an election here in this country. Yes. No, you've staged one. It wasn't a real one. It was a coup.

Yeah. It was a mock one. Staged a coup. All right. And the country had to make a decision between two men named Chris. Were you going to vote Chris or were you going to vote Chris? Yes. That classic dilemma. Yeah, exactly.

Every country, every three years, has to decide which Chris will lead them. I thought you, as an outsider, I'm just going to show you a picture of each of the Chris's without telling you who won. He's laughing. Would you have voted for the balls, Chris? Who are you going for?

I don't know. It's such a hard choice, isn't it? I, as a man of limited follicular density, I would go with the bald one. He speaks to you? Yes, very much so. He seems to have more teeth than the other one. The ginger one has a large penchant for a sausage roll.

That was his main electioneering device was to tour the country and sample sausage rolls. Really nearly swayed me, yeah. Really? What, just shamelessly going for the sausage roll vote? Yes. Yeah. Well, what about this fella, the ball fella?

Well, he won. Oh, he won. He won, did he? You've picked the mood of the nation there. Have I? Oh, I've always got my finger on the pulse. You nailed it there. Thank you.

Hey, Bill, when we do these interviews, normally we do some research on the person coming in, and I thought we could play a bit of a game because I was Googling some stuff about you, what you've been up to, and then obviously Google gives suggestions of the most popular questions people are asking about you on Google. Okay. And I thought you could do a quick fire round of answering the most Googled questions of Bill Bailey.

Here we go. Okay. Question number one. How many languages does Bill Bailey speak? Four or five, possibly Bailey. Here we go. Okay. Question number one. How many languages does Bill Bailey speak? Four or five. Possibly seven. Wow.

Question number two. Is Bill Bailey a vegan? No. Question number three. Is Bill Bailey a feminist? Yes. Question number four. Did Bill Bailey know

how to dance before winning Strictly Come Dancing? No. That's incredible. Question number five. How many instruments can Bill Bailey play? Up to 130.

No. You've got to be shitting me. Take him at his word. That's amazing. Last question. Did Bill Bailey write a song for Adele? In a manner of speaking. In a manner of speaking, you wrote a song for Adele?

Okay. I wrote a song that I thought Adele might want to sing, but I haven't heard back from the management. Right. Hey, there's still time. So in the way that I could write a song for Adele, you've written a song for Adele. Well, I don't know what your music writing

capabilities are. I wrote a song in the manner of Adele, in the style of Adele. It had a lovely title, You Left Me, but I'm not going to go on about it. I reckon that's on her next album. It sounds like her. It was very much, it was like, You left me, I saw you down on the street

And you said you were on your way to someone else to meet And I knew that it couldn't be me Because I was the one that was there. So I left many hours standing outside your door singing, Why, why, why, why, why, why? Why did you leave? Why did you leave me? Why did you leave me?

Why did you leave me? Why did you leave me? Why did you leave me? Why did you leave me? But I'm not going to go on about it. Go on, mate, that's it. Yeah, I reckon she's doing herself a terrible disservice by not recording it. Shit, I'm crying.

You've got your picture of Chris Luxon. You could be Chris Luxon's double. He looks like someone that the hair's been photoshopped off. He looks like he's got a filter on. He looks like he's got a really big, bushy afro

and it's been photoshopped off. Poor sod. You will be going to Auckland, Dunedin, Christchurch, Invercargill, Queenstown, Funganganui, Palmerston North. Places that even New Zealanders haven't been. Wellington, Hawke's Bay, Tauranga, Rotorua, Hamilton.

Do you have anything on your bucket list to do here in New Zealand this time? Are you an adventure sports enthusiast? Do you want to be thrown off a bridge or anything like that? I've done all that adventure stuff. I'm into nature wildlife. I've heard that there's a bioluminescent shark. What? Yes.

A glow-in-the-dark shark? A glow-in-the-dark shark, and it was discovered here in New Zealand, and it's in New Zealand waters, and I want to see it. Okay. Yeah, there you go. It's a hell of a goal to see yourself while you're here,

considering you have 30 days and counting. I suppose you just go out at night, don't you, with like a big torch. Hope for the best. Well, if you want to see Bill Bailey live, you can get tickets right now from billbailey.co.uk. Yes. It's a pleasure to have you in the country, Bill,

and thank you for your time. Thank you so much. Goodbye. Bree and Clint. ZM Bree and Clint, that's New Choice of Arne. It's called Got Me Started. Do you think, Bree, that you are a boring person in your relationship? I can be at times.

Same. I think we all are at times. When you've been with someone for a long time, it's easy to fall into a bit of a rut. And I think deep down there's part of your partner that wants you to be boring or at least a bit predictable. So they know. They're like, oh, when I get home, this person will be there.

I don't know if I want to date someone where you don't know what's coming next. Where are they going to sleep tonight? Yeah. I read this article on Stuff Today from a clinical psychologist who talked about the things that make you boring to your partner. Okay. In a relationship. And we can answer these honestly, okay?

So how to tell if you're boring. Do you, first one, always greet your partner at the end of the day with, how was your day? Yeah, probably most of the time. Stop it. That's boring. That's a boring question to ask, according to the clinical psychologist. You should be asking something specific about their day.

You should prove that you already took an interest in their day and you were thinking about them and you should say something like, rather than how was your day, which is generic, you should say, how did that big meeting go that you were nervous about? How was your lunch catch up with so and so? How was your

What if I don't know any of that? How was getting your bunions shaved at the foot doctor? I know, right? I know. How was your day? It's way too open-ended. It is. You know when you catch up with someone, they say, oh, how have you been? And you're like, oh, good.

Busy. Good. Yeah, you need to give someone specific to concentrate, to focus on. Yeah. Yeah. Probe a bit deeper. That's something else.

So here's another one, question you can ask yourself. Just find out if you're the boring one in the relationship. Do you talk more than you listen? I think we take it in turns in my relationship. I think there's times where I talk more. But to be honest, I am quite quiet at home. It's quite shocking, I know.

You're all talked out when you get home. You and I sit here on the radio, like let's be fully transparent. We talk constantly for four hours a day. Yeah. By the time I get home, I'm all talked out. I could talk more, Believe it or not, when we get home,

we're not going to our partners. Hey, babe, do you want to hear the top 10 countries in which you can travel to this summer for less than $5,000? Let me run you through the list.

Like, I just want to be quiet and, you know, kind of relax. Okay, you're boring if you complain a lot. Do you complain a lot in your relationship?

Probably. I really try not to, and I fall into the trap of it sometimes. But do you want to? Yeah, probably. Everyone wants to. It's human nature. This psychologist says, even if you have a good reason for complaining, like a high-stress job or a constantly negative person that's hard to deal with

sort your shit out and stop making it your partner's problem you know deal with it you could be you could you could just be like this that by the way this thing is affecting me at the moment but don't always come on come home and bang on about the bad shit you know because it becomes emotionally taxing yeah i agree with that and disagree. I've agreed with all the other ones. This one I'm 50-50 because I think your partner is also meant to be your sounding board and the person that you tell everything. I think you need to probably be aware of not going on about something.

And how much you're putting on them. Yeah, but I think that's a part of a good relationship is where you confide in your partner about that stuff. But just don't go on and on about it. These are signs that you might be the boring one in the relationship. The last one is, do you decline most of your partner's invitations and suggestions of things to do?

Yeah, that's me. If they're like, we should hang out with these people and you're like, oh, I just want to watch TV. Not really. We should go and do this walk. Oh, I just want to watch. I just want to stay at home and get drunk by myself. Jesus. What's

happening at your house? They say you need to say yes sometimes even if you don't want to because constant rejection is hard even on the most upbeat partner. Just say yes. If it's going to make them happy just do it. Just do it. Even if it's only one out of every four times.

They're the things you always regret when it comes to the time though. You're like, oh, I said yes to that. Oh, I said I'd go with you to this thing. Oh, no, I'm so excited. I'm not, no, I'm not complaining. Here's a fun tip. Get drunk before you go. Yeah, good idea.

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