ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast - 20th April 2023

Episode Date: April 20, 2023

DIY fails Coffee makes you gain weight Cheating confessional hotline The pill for men What's The Plot See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Ready? Yeah. Hi everybody, welcome to the Brie and Clint Podcast. Today Brie wants to do something a bit different. We don't usually call listeners on our podcast, do we? No, we don't. But here's the background for everyone.

Over the past, how many years would you say, Clint? It's at least a year. At least a year. We've had this person texting the text machine here at ZM. Every time we play L.A.B., she will text us and say, Hi, Bree and Clint, thanks for playing L.A.B., and then signs off with her name, Lynette. She could be L.A be LAB's biggest fan.

She could be, or it's one of the boys' mums. Oh, I never thought about it like that. You never know. I thought... She never misses, though. She never misses. If we play LAB in the afternoon on our show... She will text.

She will text, and she'll always text the same thing. And I thought we could call this mystery woman, Lynette, today on the podcast and just see if we can get in touch with her. Yeah, what's her deal? Why does she love LAB so much? Yeah. Okay, Claude, plug it in. Let's put it through and see

if... Oh, here we go. Will she answer? I don't know. Should we prank her and tell her she's won tickets to an LAB concert? No! Yes, do it. We're going to get voicemail. We'll leave a voicemail and we'll say...

Do we just play some LAB for her? Oh, that's a good idea. Hello, Lynette speaking. Hi, Lynette. It's Brie from Brie and Clint. How are you from Bree and Clint. How are you? Oh, great. How are you? I'm going well.

Clint's here with me. Hi, Lynette. How are you going? Hi. Oh, great. Great. Hey, lovely to speak to you, Lynette, in person. We've only talked to you on the text messages before.

Yes, which is probably a good thing. Why is that, Lynette? Why? No. Oh, no, because I've got a very wicked sense of humour. That's why we want to talk to you, Lynette. You're our type of peoples. Oh, never mind.

We just wanted to call, Lynette, because how long do you think you've been texting our show for? And you always text the same thing. It's to say thank you for playing L.A.B. How long do you think you've been sending those texts for now? I don't know. Sometimes it's not always L.A.B. It'll be a New Zealand character. Yes. Like Maruki or any of them. Navy? Are you a fan

of Navy? Yeah, not too bad with Navy. Yes, she's just not long bought out another good song. Yeah, it's a great song. So what is it about LAB and Muraki and the Kiwi artists that you enjoy so much, Lynette? Well, I suppose it's because you get bought up on a lot of local stuff. I mean, I'm into all sorts of K-pop, P-pop, whatever. But the New Zealand's got

coterie. They've sort of got the homey type sound and I like that. Lynette, you sound like you really know your music. I feel like if we get a big interview With one of these bands or artists We should get you to come in and do the interview If you could get Written by Wolves I would love to do it

Get out of here Lynette Your favourite Kiwi artist is Michael Murphy's band Written by Wolves. She knows her stuff. Are you serious? Yeah. Wow, this is fascinating to me. They're a great band. I just didn't expect it, Lynette. Lynette, whereabouts do you live? I live in Foxton. I've been to Foxton. I love Foxton. It's got the windmill, doesn't it? The big windmill.

Yes, it does. Yeah. And the Dutch oven. Is it the Dutch oven? Yep. Well, the Dutch cafe now. We've got that. Yep.

Out of interest, so these messages that you send through to Breno, which we really appreciate, we appreciate everybody who sends a message in, but yours in particular, because not everybody signs off with their name. Yeah, we always like – It makes it stand out, and it's very personable. And we always talk about you here, Lynette.

We're always like, I hope you hear us talking about you on the radio. We're always like, oh, shout out to Lynette. She's texted through again. Yeah, I like the fact that you thought L-A-B starts with Lynette. Yeah, the L is for Lynette. Yeah. Do you text a lot of radio stations? No, I only listen to you guys.

See, that's what I was scared to ask, but that's what I was hoping you were going to say. And you know, even if that was a lie, that's the right answer. Hey, well, Lynette, we just wanted to connect with you and say that we see your messages and we really appreciate it. And we wanted to find out who is Lynette LAB's biggest fan. We found you and you're bloody awesome.

So thanks for taking the time to pick up the phone today. It's so nice to actually put a voice to your name, Lynette. And as I said, please text or call the show anytime. We appreciate it. Oh, cool. That's wonderful. Thank you so much show anytime. We appreciate it. Oh, cool. That's wonderful. Thank you so much, guys. It was wonderful. And we'll look you up the next time we're in Foxton, okay? Wait, you can come to my

house anytime, guys. You're on, Lynette. Brielle, come and Dutch oven you. You get tea, coffee, you get biscuits and cake. Beautiful. Mate, I'll bring the Chardonnay. We'll get on the Raz. Oh, whoa, whoa. Thanks, Lynette.

See you, Lynette. You have a great evening. Bye, mate. You too. Bye. See you. What an angel. She's so cute.

I love Lynette. Wow. I knew she'd be awesome. What about her? She loves... So that won't make sense to anyone who doesn't know, but Ridden by Wolves are like a heavy metal emo band. Like, they...

I love that. Yeah. Yeah, wow. I wonder if we can get her a T-shirt and send it to her. We love Lynette. And we love any of you that always text through to the show. Very wholesome start to the podcast today. Yeah.

Let's get into it. Brie and Clint, see you later. Enjoy the show. Bye. Bye, guys. I'm coming in. Well, howdy, pilgrims. Brie and Clint.

Good evening, everybody. Good afternoon and welcome to the Brie and Clint show. Good afternoon people, happy to be here, happy to be here. Brie's got a full face of makeup and a packet of gummy bears. That's right. She's ready to go. All the things I need for a good Thursday. I mean Thursday, moving into the unofficial long long weekend. Yeah. We're all just, we're all doing that, eh?

I think so. Everybody listening. We're all taking the Monday, right? People text through on 9696 if you're not taking the Monday off and why aren't you taking the Monday off? Is your boss being a stickler? Yeah. Are you a doctor? Yeah. What kind of job couldn't you take the Monday off?

Doctor. Doctor. Specialist. Teacher. Teachers. School's going back on. See, what a punish. This isn't school holidays finish tomorrow.

They should just carry it on. And then they go back to school for one day and then they have to have another day off. Just carry it through. That doesn't make any sense at all. No. Surely And then they go back to school for one day and then they have to have another day off. Just carry it through. That doesn't make any sense at all. No. Surely no kids are showing up to school on Monday. Or maybe they all are because the parents are like, I don't care.

I just want them out of the house for one day. You're going back. You've been here for two weeks. I'm sending you back. Yeah, text us if you can't take Monday off. Today on the show, your chance to play What's the Plot? We're playing for $100 before 5 o'clock. But first up, it's tradie versus lady.

The tradie's staging a mini comeback yesterday. Is that score up to date? I believe so. All right, 31 plays 33. The ladies are ahead. We need a tradie and a lady to give us a call right now. Bree and Clint. Time for tradie versus lady.

Bree and Clint. Time for tradie versus lady. Bree and Clint. Tradie versus lady. Score update for you guys. For the year, the tradies on 31 wins, the ladies out in front on 33. Let's go live to our lady first who is calling us all the way from Auckland. She's 42 years old and she is a self-confessed carnivore. Welcome to the show, Sarah. G'day, Sarah.

What's your favourite cut of beef? Probably sirloin. Sirloin, really? Wasn't expecting that. Lady knows it. I like any meat, any meat. Lady knows it, meat. Sarah, any meat, though?

Yeah, any meat. I eat meat, that's all I eat. Have you ever eaten guinea pig? No. I have. It was quite traumatising for someone who had guinea meat. That's all I eat. Have you ever eaten guinea pig? No. I have. It was quite traumatising for someone who had guinea pigs. No, no, no. I don't think I could try that.

I think I'll pass. You literally said any meat. Have you eaten kangaroo, Sarah? No. It's quite good. Not bad. I've had crocodile. Yeah, I've had crocodile.

Not bad too. Yeah. I'm not bringing it to a barbecue or anything, though. In Australia, people bring kangaroo to a barbecue. Do they? Yeah, you can get it at any... Just one day hit on the way to the barbecue. Pretty much.

Yeah. You're taking on our tradie today. They're 33 years old. They're from Christchurch, and they once had a big night out in Vegas and woke completely tied up. Welcome to the show, George. George, was it a good kind of tied up or a bad kind of tied up? Well, it was quite funny.

So, yeah, I was majoring in the background. Who was that? Sounds like one of the guys who tied you up in the background. All right, George, your buzzer is tradie. Sarah, yours is lady. First to three correct answers gets 50 bucks from KFC. Good luck. Here we go, guys.

Question number one. What city will host the next Olympic Games in 2024? Is it Moscow, Paris, or Blenheim? Lady. Yes. I'm going to say Sarah, Justin. Moscow? No.

Good guess. George? Paris. Yeah. It is Paris. Definitely not Blenheim. We'll host the Olympics next year. Question number two, one to the tradies.

What was the name of the high school in the movie Grease? Was it Summer Heights High, Rydell High or Forest Park High? Yes, George. Rydell High. Well done. It, of course, was Rydell High. Nice work. It, of course, was Ride El High. Nice work. Two to the tradies.

You're off to a flying start. You need this one here, Sarah. Question number three. Buzz in when you can tell me who sings this song. Yes, George. Oh, I've forgotten. Oh, no. Sarah, you want a stab? I've forgotten. Oh, no. Sarah, you want a stab?

I can't. I don't. I can't. I have no idea. Nowhere to run. You better count your money. When you're sitting at the table, there'll be time enough for counting. Such a banger.

When the dealing's done. Kenny Rogers. Of course, the late and great Kenny Rogers. Question number four. Still two to the tradies. In the Disney movie Ariel, what does the evil villain Ursula steal from Ariel in a

trade for Ariel's human legs? What does she take from her? Isn't the movie The Little Mermaid? The Little Mermaid, yes. The movie's name is Little Mermaid, but Ariel is the person. What does she take from her? Isn't the movie The Little Mermaid? The Little Mermaid, yes. Yeah, yeah. The movie's name is Little Mermaid, but Ariel is the person. What does she lose? Trudy.

Yeah. Yes, George. Is it a trident? No. I mean, good guess. Sarah, you want to guess? I have no idea. It's her voice.

Her voice, remember? She can't talk to the prince. No, I've never watched it. You've never watched Little Mermaid? Oh, you've got to watch it, Sarah. It's her voice. Her voice, remember? She can't talk to the prince. No, I've never watched it. You've never watched Little Mermaid? Oh, you've got to watch it, Sarah. It's a great film. Okay, someone's going to get this one. No points there.

Question number five. What type of race is the Tour de France? Treaty. Yes, George, for the win. Stokely race. It is. Well done, Georgie boy. You have got $50 cash from KFC and you have ever so slightly narrowed the gap

between the tradies of the ladies to one point, George. Nice work, mate. Awesome, thank you. Any shout-outs? Just a shout-out to the crew at Activision Hire. Yeah, the lads He has to say that, they've got him tied up at the moment Yeah, can you untie George now please, he just won

Nice work mate The Cheating Confessional Hotline is open We're leaving judgement at the door We're asking you, what was it that you cheated on And did you get away with it? Are you sure you're willing to leave judgement at the door. We're asking you, what was it that you cheated on and did you get away with it? Are you sure you're willing to leave judgment at the door? Because I've got a text here that says, I've cheated on ZM a few times now with more FM.

Okay, now I'm pissed. You're really testing us. Now I'm pissed off. You're really testing our levels of forgiveness here, okay? Let's get some cheaters on the phone who are willing to confess to us. First person wants to remain anonymous, and that's fine. Hi, Anonymous. Hi, Anonymous. Are you there?

Don't get scared on us now, Anonymous. It's okay, Anonymous. We'll put you back to Claudia where she'll see if she can get through to you. Let's go to someone who's willing to give us their name. Cameron. Hi, Cameron. Hi, Cameron. Hello, how are you? Good, thanks, Cameron. Tell us, how old were you first when this cheating took place? Probably 16-something, maybe 16 and a half.

All right. And have you told anybody about this? I told my mates and they loved it. Yeah, but it was good. You don't sound sorry or remorseful, but that's fine. Tell us what you cheated in, Cameron. So we were taking a music exam, and it was an open book, kind of. It just had a bit of notes, so I was cheeky and printed off a sheet of music.

And we had to write a passage from a sheet of music or something, a passage, a decent one. And I copied a piece of Beethoven music. I can't remember what it is for the life of me. Note for note. Oh, my God. Note for note. And the teacher didn't realise she was a fan of Beethoven.

She knew every one of his songs, whatever. Yeah. And then I got an Excellence Plus top of the class and I even got awarded for it. Of course you did. It was Beethoven. 16-year-old virtuoso. Cameron, imagine if you got like a B on it

and you'd be like, Miss, it's bloody Beethoven. It's got to be a Beethoven, Miss. You're going to give him a B? Get some culture. She didn't even notice. It was great. Can I ask, Cameron? You did that.

You went through those things. Can you actually play the piano? Yeah, yeah. I played piano for like nine years. I'm sure to, but I can't play it. He's like, I'm no Beethoven. Cameron, I love your work. Thank you for your honesty.

We've got an anonymous caller back now. Hi, anonymous. Hi, anonymous. Hi. You want to confess to some cheating to us this afternoon? Yep. What happened, anonymous? What did you cheat on?

So in high school, I cheated on a few end of topic tests by writing the answers on my thigh and then like lifting up my skirt to read them, like what Kim Kardashian did. Classic. I mean, it's a classic. Yep. Is it a Kardashian move?

I think she said one time, is that right, Anonymous, that she did that in high school? Yeah, she said it in Keeping Up With The Kardashians. She said she used to write the answers and then just, like, lift up her skirt because teachers couldn't ask her to keep under the skirt. I've been begging her out for years, but it turns out she is a role model. How do you think? It turns out she is inspiring girls all around the world.

How do you think she passed the mini bar? Oh, her legal exam? Yeah. You must have wanted to dress her a skirt. You must have won a dress or a skirt. You must have won a dress or a skirt, yeah. None of it's good from you. Jeez, you'd have to write a lot of notes on your thighs to pass the bar. How about this?

When I was six years old, and bear in mind I am 49 now, I entered a colouring competition for Cobb & Co, and my mum did the colouring for me, and I won a meal for our whole family. That's such a good idea. We should just get your daughter Tui and we'll go around entering her in competitions but we just do all

the work and we clean up we take all those prizes from those children. I want to know whose idea that was to do the cheating. Did mum want the free family meal? And she's like we're going to put this in under your name. But you're shit at drawing. So let me do it. Let me do it. Now you sit back.

When you win the prize, just look cute. I want to have fun. Yeah, well, I want a free meal. This isn't about fun. I like this text too. My husband and I are in the same industry and I complete his online professional development every year because I'm more academic. He always gets top marks and I joke that if

he ever divorces me, I want all his certificates. I love that. I love that you're ever divorces me, I want all his certificates. I love that. I love that you're doing it for the family. Together, you are the perfect employee, you know? I have to, I mean, look, I just have to read out this last text. Okay. Just because.

I'm just going to read the last text that's come in. I cheated on the rock for you guys. Better yarns, better music here. I mean, I just had to read that out. Some cheating we're okay with. I mean, that's fine. Some cheating we encourage. Yeah, we encourage that cheating, yeah.

We'll get some Metallica on for you shortly. It's Soft Rock Thursdays here at ZFM. Bree and Clint. Look, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news for coffee drinkers, but I read an article on the Herald this morning, and it could be bad news, Clint. Okay, well, that's me. I'm a coffee drinker.

This is what the headline said on the Herald. Does drinking coffee on an empty stomach really make you gain weight? What? The article by Lily Rohan. She goes into talking about how she came across, I believe it was a video, and it was an expert talking about whether or not it is actually bad for you, drinking coffee on an empty stomach, which I think a lot of people do. I reckon 75,

more 80, 90% of coffee drinkers start their day with a coffee. Yeah. Before breakfast. A weight loss expert named Alice said that drinking coffee on an empty stomach, it has nothing to do with it being high in calories, but it raises your cortisol levels, which means your cortisol is correlated with insulin, aka your fat storage hormone. Makes no sense to me, right? But this is, I think, broken down so we can understand it. So coffee is extremely acidic on the body.

So when you drink it in the morning on an empty stomach, it will reduce your stomach's pH level. Okay. Right. So that can interfere with the proper digestion of food later in the day. That makes sense. Which if you are someone who prefers your cup of coffee first thing in the morning, there are a couple of options to make things easier for your body. Right. Like putting milk in it to dilute the effects of caffeine on your system. Yeah, yeah. Or having something light to eat like a banana with your coffee. Oh, yuck.

Well. A banana and a coffee to start the day. Maybe a piece of banana bread. I don't know. What about a cigarette? I don't smoke, but I know people who in the past that's how they start their day

I know people who start their day with a cigarette and a V yeah I'm just like black coffee a cigarette and a V wow how do you function

in the life the trio very well so long as I have my cigarette and V right okay so if you eat something with your coffee just's going to...

Just even something small. Like a piece of toast or... Yeah, just to get your stomach like moving. And the thing that I wanted to know, and she answers this question as well, is what is the best time to have your coffee? Yeah, I'm interested to know that. Yeah, so she says that having your first cup of coffee

about one to two hours after you wake up or 30 minutes after you have your first food. Okay. Yeah. Okay, that makes sense. This is kind of like the time where we got told you should always brush your teeth before eating breakfast. I've never heard that. What do you mean? Brush your teeth before breakfast.

Yes. The first thing you do when you wake up, you should brush your teeth. And then brush your teeth again after breakfast before you leave the house. Well, you don't have to, but yeah. Right. Because if you, let's say you wake up and then you go have a coffee

and you have some food, your teeth isn't coated in, you know, the toothpaste. So if these are the rules to live by, can we get these, like, written down somewhere and, like, given to us just so we know? Yeah. Because I don't want to be finding this stuff out in my 30s. Like, the damage is done.

I want to know. Where's the adult handbook? Like, I don't want to know how to do my taxes. I want to know these simple things. Someone just texted and said, I saw Clint smoking a dart outside Mount Smart Stadium last week in a 1995 Warriors jersey. That was him.

You did not. That was him. You did not. Yeah, I saw you too. And I was like, mate. It was a 1998 Warriors Super League jersey. Thank you very much. We need to cross to producer Claudia in the producer's booth now,

who is, we said this yesterday, we're going to say it again so she knows we weren't lying. Oh, no. Looks ravishing with her new hair. Thank you. What a choice of word, but thank you. I'm real jealous. I want my hair done like that now. Do it.

I'll do it for you. That means Claude has a whole new look. It's a new me. It's a new you. New day, new me. Isn't it amazing what a good haircut and dye can do? Yeah. Yeah. For like myself again. What are you trying to say Isn't it amazing what a good haircut and dye can do? Yeah. For like myself again.

What are you trying to say? That she didn't look good before? Yeah, wait a minute. And you're saying, isn't it amazing what it can do for someone's appearance? No, no. I'm saying you haven't had a haircut in three years and maybe it's time. It's like when you wear makeup and people are like, oh, you look nice today. I cut my own hair.

I cut it into the sink. Ew. Save money. Claudia revealed to us that this haircut, which you've had professionally done the sink. Save money. Claudia revealed to us that this haircut, which you've had professionally done. Yes. Looks great. Ravishing. Looks great ravishing. Thank you. Is actually a bit of a repair job

on something that you did to yourself. Is that right? Well, technically someone did it to me first and then I tried to fix it and made it worse. Right. So I went and paid as little as possible for a haircut and got what I paid for, put it that way. So I went home and I've as little as possible For a haircut And That's where you went wrong I got what I paid for Put it that way

So I went home And I've cut my hair before And it's been totally fine But I guess it's because It was in lockdown And no one saw it But I tried again

The The sort of the bar For an okay haircut In lockdown Was really low Yeah it was real low Bree cut my hair in lockdown Hey

I worked hard on that haircut She did it under Zoom tutelage of her mum, who's actually a hairdresser, and she's like no, Brianna, you need to cut that bit a bit shorter. Yeah, it was really difficult to be honest. So anyway, you've got a cheap haircut. Yeah, and I didn't have anyone to help

me try to fix my hair, so I just went for it, you know. How could you see what you were doing at the back? That's the secret. I couldn't see. That's the fun. Yeah yeah so i just did it purely by feel and then checked it off i was like checked with my partner and like is it kind of even and she was like oh there's a couple bits that are like a little bit longer but i'm like totally fine it doesn't matter and you guys also let me walk around like this it's been months i didn't notice anything i went to the hairdresser she brushed my hair and then went oh was your last haircut done by a hairdresser oh no and i didn't notice anything. I went to the hairdresser. She brushed my hair and then went,

oh, was your last haircut done by a hairdresser? Oh, no. And I didn't want to tell her that I did it myself. So I was like, yeah, yeah, of course it is. But I'll pull up a picture of what it looked like. Look at the back of my head. Oh, my God, it's so bad. Half of it is two inches shorter than the other half. You're completely lopsided.

Totally lopsided. How could you be so off? Nobody let me know. It's right, if we're looking at you from behind, it's right down the centre too. The left hand side is, you're right, a good three centimetres higher than the right. I did think that one side was slightly shorter,

but I didn't realise it was such a like distinct line. I think it's so bad that people would have thought that's on purpose. Yeah. You know? Like an asymmetric. Yeah, exactly. Fashion thing. It's just lucky that I never wear my hair straight, otherwise you would have seen it. But I just wear it like a bird's nest, so it kind of all blended in. Doesn't really matter at

that point. Nobody can tell. I love that your hair was so bad that the hairdresser was like, I've got to take a picture of this. You've got to see this. Give me your phone. I need to get a photo of this. What's worse is she took it on her phone and thenresser was like, I've got to take a picture of this. You've got to see this. Give me your phone. I need to get a photo of this. What's worse is she took it on her phone and then afterwards was like, oh, do you want me to airdrop? She's like, this is going on my Instagram.

Do you want it? What we want to ask this afternoon is when you have attempted to do something yourself, you're like, I can do that. Like Claudia with her hair. I can totally tint my own eyebrows. I can save some money here. Easy. And I can DIY.

Get a home kit, tint my eyebrows. It'll be easy. And then you've had to end up spending even more money to get somebody to do the thing that you already did because they need to do it properly and in the process fix the thing that you didn't do properly. Do you know how much it cost me to get it fixed? How much?

I mean, they dyed it as well well but it was over $300. Yeah, but you got foils, right? Yeah. It would have been a whole head of foils. Claudia, you look ravishing. It was worth it. Ravishing. I've heard people around the office are saying they're jealous and they want the same thing

done. I've heard people you've left thoroughly ravished. What? I don't know. I went $100 at him? You did something and then you had to pay someone else to come in and do it properly. What did you try and do yourself to save some money on? We'll also take calls from people whose partners

have done the thing. And you were like, get a professional in. They're like, no, I can do it. And then you had to pay the professionals to come in to fix the thing. Babe, I can rewire the electrical in the bathroom. I've got it. The tile? I'll do it. And then you've had to pay the professionals to come in to fix the thing. Babe, I can rewire the electrical in the bathroom. I've got it. The tile, I'll do the tile myself too. Bree and Clint, phone lines are open.

0800 dial ZM. Dobman, dob yourself in. Bree and Clint. Let's get some people on. Michael's here. G'day, Michael. Hi, Michael. How's it going?

Was it you that thought you could do something yourself? Of course. Yes, Michael. what was it? We just bought a house. We were thinking, oh, we need to save on some money. So we did all the plastering and painting ourselves. We attempted to do the plastering. It was awful, patchy, uneven.

We got the professional in, and he simply tapped me on the shoulder and said, you tried. You tried? Oh. That's so good. It's actually a real skill that plastering stuff. It's such a skill. They make it look really easy when those big swipes and they've got this little trowel of putty and you're like pulling the stuff off and putting

it on the wall and it's so quick. Smearing crap on the wall, how hard can it be? It's pretty hard, isn't it, Michael? Yeah, I watched a couple of your videos on it. Yeah, that looks easy enough. Oh, Michael. They do it on the block when they run out of money. How hard can it be?

It's such a thing too that it's so noticeable, like the tiniest mark or if it's uneven, it's just so noticeable. Someone's texting and they said, do not try to do a DIY braise wax. As in Brazilian wax? Yeah. Oh, no.

Do, do, do. I never have. Do girls DIY that? 100%. There's heaps of girls that do their own waxing. I don't know about a Brazilian, but. What's the difference between a wax and a Brazilian wax? Well, a Brazilian's the full shish kebab.

And a normal one, you're just trimming the sides up. A bikini wax, I feel like you can do yourself pretty easy because it's just the sides, whereas a Brazilian, you need to get all up in the... You also have to be willing to pull the trigger. You've got all the hair and you've got to be the person to... Because at least when someone else is doing it, you can go, just do it, just do it, just do it, just do it.

But when you're doing it, you have to... i feel like you'd have to have a station where you sit yourself in front of a mirror and you'd see your chamber of secrets and you'd probably you know i feel like you want to tie yourself to something otherwise you'd pull and you'd move with your head yes you're like so like tie yourself there's a clock that has to come off i waxed my own legs once and it was the worst experience of my life. The ankles are so painful. Oh, my God. Let's talk to Cody.

G'day, Cody. Hi, Cody. Cody. Yeah. Hello. Cody. Yeah. I tried the whole haircut thing.

Okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah. All right. Did have a mullet. Yeah. I did have a mullet. Yeah. And I'll tell you what, with the clippers,

you're meant to put that long thing on so that way you don't cut it too short. Yeah. Of course, you're meant to put on the number that you want. Yeah. Yeah. Didn't use that. So it was for a sake.

Yeah. Oh, Cody. I start sniffing away in a mirror like doing my own hair cutting because my mates say it's easy. They must be hairdressers. And I sniff away. How do I thin this out?

Start cutting it with the scissors, making it terrible mess. Start righto. No, that's it. Put everything down. Wait, did you try and thin your hair out just using normal scissors? Well, apparently you can, but it doesn't work. Yeah, a professional can do it. What was the end result, Cody?

Was it a haircut that people thought was passable? Well, it was on a Sunday, so I had to find a hairdresser that was open because it's like, oh, I'm not going to work like this. I'm an apprentice. They will rip me apart. I went to the hairdresser, it's like, right,

fix this mess up. And he cut it all up. Oh, yeah, yeah. Put the mirror behind it. Oh. Where did it go? He goes, you got rid of it.

I didn't, but I don't need a mullet anymore. Oh, Cody. All right. So the guy had to cut the whole thing off to of it. I didn't, but I don't even mull it anymore. Oh, Katie. All right. So the guy had to cut the whole thing off to fix it. The moral of the story is... Don't cut your own hair. Don't drink and shave your own head.

Brayden's here. Hi, Brayden. Hi, Brayden. How you going? Good, thanks, Brayden. What did you do to try and save some money? It was my old man, but I was meant to do it for him,

but I was away to work on the build of my trade. He wanted an adjustable shower head installed into his shower. Yeah. So he tried to do it himself because, you know, that's how the old man is. DIY attitude. Yeah. He put the drill bit through the water pipe.

Oh, no, he drilled into the water pipe. Yeah, yeah. So he got up by, like, if he went over towards the left by, like, 20 mil, he would have missed it, but no, he just missed it. So there's water just spewing into the inside of his wall. He had to, obviously, I'm a builder, so I had to come and, like like rip all the chip and everything off. Far out.

Yeah, as well as the plumber to do everything. So, I mean, a job that he should have waited until I got home from work cost him, yeah, a few pots. Oh, no, Brayden. You know, one of my uncles, he does everything himself and when I say everything. Some people can. No, like he is so bad that he does his own dentistry.

Oh, oh, oh. Yeah. I thought you were talking about housework. Well, that too. He does his own dental work. He's so cheap that he's like, I don't need to go to the dentist and I've seen him pull out one of his own dental work. He's so cheap that he's like, I don't need to go to the dentist. And I've seen him pull out one of his own teeth before with pliers.

Oh, that's shocking. That's country Queensland for you. Someone's texted and they said, it's just blokes ringing. DIY seems that we may be the problem. Oh, no, mate. Don't spend money on that. I can do that. I'd like to cross to our contraception desk for a moment. Who's at the contraception desk? Your sex ed teacher from high school.

Oh, good. Wasn't it weird? Was this the case at your school the sex ed teacher was also the PE teacher? Yes. Weird, eh? I'm like, why does the PE teacher get lumped with that job? Our PE teachers were always a really sporty man and then they're like, alright, you're the person to teach these kids about sexual health.

Sex, sexual health, reproduction, intimacy, consent. And you can tell he... And the guy in the smallest shorts with the whistle around his neck is like, okay, I'm the man for the job. You can tell he doesn't want to be there either. No. He's like, why do I have to do this job?

None of us wanted to be there. Yeah. Anyway, it's important, okay? So listen up. The male contraceptive pill, which has been a myth for a long time. The women's contraception pill has been has been a myth for a long time. The women's contraception pill has been around since the 1960s. Decades.

When's the men's one going to come out? Come on, someone think of the men, you know? Women always get stuff first. Bras. I'm not going to comment. I'm also being facetious. So a male contraceptive pill which disables a gene crucial for producing sperm may be available in just five years.

Five years? That's ages away. It's pretty close. That's so far away. I feel like we've been talking about this for like 10 years. Longer. Like even longer. Probably since 1960 when it came out and they were like, okay, great news. And we're going to work on one for men too.

And they're like, nah, let women do all the work. We'll get around to it. But we feel like, you know, that's the woman's job to take the pill. Well, they've just had the breakthrough. Researchers at Washington State University said they have found how to develop a safe and reversible contraception for men. They found a particular gene. I won't bore you with the name of it. It's ARRDC5.

Such a catchy name. It renders men temporarily infertile. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this is, do you reckon, like, because, I mean, the woman's pill has been around for such a long time. Yeah.

Do you reckon it'll take, like, quite a few decades for it to catch on, like the men's contraceptive pill? Did you see what the anti-vax movement was like? They were like, I'm not putting that in my body. I don't know what's in it. I'm not putting most things in my body. It could be coming out at the worst time in history. I don't know.

But it has more benefits than just that. They're saying that this pill, which has no hormonal side effects, could be used on animals to prevent overpopulation. So we get all the possums on the pill. Oh yeah, you can put them on the pill. Or you get all the rabbits on the pill. Totally.

On the men's pill. So wait a second. Wait, wait, you can put them on the pill. Get all the rabbits on the pill. Totally. On the men's pill. So wait a second. Wait, wait, wait a second. So you're saying it has no hormonal effects. Yeah. Whatsoever. Whatsoever. That's the key.

So the men get the ones where it doesn't change your hormones, doesn't mess with you. But then the women, for decades, we've been taking these bloody pills that mess with our bodies. This is my favourite line from it. Listen. Cause all kinds of issues. The reason they haven't brought a men's one out yet.

Why? It says, previous hormone-based pills for men have resulted in severe side effects, such as mood disorders and shrinking testicles. Oh, my God. What do you think we've been dealing with? Oh, my God. This is going to set me off. Honestly, the amount of amount of mood disorders and shrinking

testicles what do you guys get mood disorders and swollen boobies and weight gain um pain hormonal depression um there's all kinds of side effects and that's with all types of women contraceptive like i feel like even the pill that i'm on now, so bad for me to take. But, I mean, I'm on it for other reasons. But so many women struggle with this stuff. And I love how they're like, we don't want to bring one out because there is side effects. And we don't want people to struggle with the side effects. Jeez, calm down, mate.

You're having a mood swing. Yeah, I'm on the pill. It's good news. It's good news. And it can't happen soon enough. pill! It's good news. It's good news and it can't happen soon enough. Well, yes, good news. Five years. Five years away. The King's coronation is not this weekend, not next weekend,

but the weekend after that. That's the bit where they officially make him king and he sits on the throne and they put the crown on him and he officially, Prince Charles, officially becomes King Charles. It's a big deal in the royal family. It's the biggest deal. Yeah. It's as big as it gets.

And as is tradition, the monarch will choose a dish that becomes the official coronation dish. And what happens is because everybody in the UK has their little community parties to celebrate the coronation, the idea is you make the coronation dish and everybody shares the same dish. It's like a shared experience that everybody could do. And then the king judges who had the best one. The king visits your house and you have to give 20% of that dish to the king.

When Queen Elizabeth was crowned in 1953 she chose coronation chicken. Have you ever had coronation chicken? Never had coronation chicken. It's cooked chicken meat with curried mayonnaise dressing. That sounds horrific. Doesn't it sound like a 1953 dish? 100%. Like a 1953

British dish? You put it in a casserole dish and you bake it. It's iconic in the UK. It's part of their cultural fabric. Prince Charles is getting a bit of shit for his dish that he has chosen. What has he picked as his dish of choice? King Charles' official coronation dish is... A quiche. Not a quiche. Oh, not a quiche.

The quiche contains spinach, broad beans, tarragon, all set with an egg and pastry. A quiche. A quiche. A quiche. What's the thing that's like a quiche but it's not a quiche? Yeah, I know what you're talking about. What is that?

Claudia will know. Is it a frittata? Frittata. A frittata. Like at least go for a frittata. It's like a fancy quiche. Oh, no, no, no. I prefer a quiche over a frittata. Oh, yeah.

Quiche all day. Why? What's the difference? Pastry and girth, I feel. Yeah. Frittata's very thin. Is a frittata just no pastry? Isn't it? I think it's the same thing

just without the pastry, isn't it? It's the same eggy thing, but it's naked. You say frittata. I say quiche. Anyway, Coronation Quiche. It's on. We've got to bake it. Oh, we've got to bake it. We've got to bake it.

We've got to bake it. Are we going to make it? I don't want to make a quiche. Can you make it? You're better at cooking than me. I probably could. Make a coronation quiche for us. A quiche is so easy to make, can I say?

Yeah, we'll make one for the King's coronation. Oh, that looks pretty fancy. It's your civic duty, okay? All right, well, send me the recipe and I'll make the coronation quiche. Are we uncultured? Is quiche quiche? Like, should we be appreciating quiche more than we are? Nah.

Quiche, you take it or leave it. Cold quiche. Bacon and egg pie. Oh, see, that's next level. Now we're getting into it. You add bacon to anything and it's good. Maybe the coronation quiche just needs a bit of bacon I can throw bacon in our coronation quiche It definitely doesn't need more egg

It's mostly egg I don't think it needs broad beans Here we go, birthday bangers for you guys. This is where you have the chance to call up and find out what your birthday banger is on the show. Do you remember what your birthday banger is? I think mine's let me love you, Mario. Oh, yeah. What's yours?

Jenny from the block. From the block. That's right. J-Lo. Let's kick it off with Olivia. Hi, Liv. G'day, Liv. Hi.

How's your day been, Liv? It's been pretty good. Not too bad. Are you on your way home from work? I am. Oh, excellent. Well, let's get you there. What's your birthday?

2nd of January, 1985. All right, Olivia. That means you were 16 in 2001. And on your 16th birthday, this would have been number one. Bob the Builder. This is your birthday banger, love. What do you reckon? I think it's absolutely awesome.

Do you? Good. Okay. Can I also just say, Brie, my fiancé is absolutely in love with you and you are his hall pass. Hey, that has made my day, Liv. I mean, you know. You let me know, Liv. You let me know.

He's very excited in the background that I'm talking to you. Oh, what's your fiancé's name? Tom. Oh, g'day, Tom. No, don't try and hit on Tom. Oh, sorry, sorry. Hi, Tom. Thanks for saying that, Tom.

That's made my week. Wait there, Liv and Tom. We're going to do a birthday banger for Samir. Hi, Samir. Hi, Samir. Hi, guys. I believe your daughter's there with you too, Samir. Yeah.

Kalari, want to say hi? Yes. Say hello. Hi. Hi. Oh, adorable. How old is she, Samir? Seven.

Seven. I mean, she can answer. She goes, Dad, I can answer. I'm seven. Well, she's too young to play birthday banger, but I assume you're old enough, Samir. What's your date of birth? December 26, 1988.

Right. That means, Samir, you were 16 in 2004. And on the 26th of December 2004, this was number one. When the pimp's in the crib, ma. Drop it like it's hot. Drop it like it's hot. Drop it like it's hot. When the pigs try to get one. Snoop Dogg. What do you think? It's a bit better than Bob the Builder, I guess.

It is better than Bob the Builder, yeah. Well, not according to Livia. She quite loved Bob the Builder. Livia was fizzing for Bob the Builder. Okay, wait there, Samir. We're going to do one more for Amy. Hi, Amy. Hi, Amy.

Hi, guys. Hi, Amy. Hi, guys. Hi, Amy. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Oh, we're good, Amy. Whereabouts are you? I am in Christchurch.

Oh, lovely. How good's Christchurch, Amy? How good is Christchurch? How good is it? It's pretty glum looking today, guys. Is it? Oh, no. Well, let's brighten that up with a birthday banger, shall we?

What's your birthday? It is the 2nd of February, 1987. All right. Amy, you were born exactly one day after me. Oh, yeah, she was too. I'm the 1st of February, 1987. Yeah. Oh, look, we're nearly twins.

We are nearly twins. There's a strong chance that you're going to get J-Lo, Jenny from the block as well. Just saying, but let's see. Let's find out, Amy. You were 16 in 2003 and here's your birthday banger. Oh, it's Big Brother. Must have just changed.

I haven't heard this for so long. Right? I love this song Amy This is a great throwback Yes Not just because we're birthday twins Amy Because the song is great as well I'm going to vote for your song for birthday banging today

I was going to go with Olivia in my hall pass But I've got to go with you Amy New flow, what a tune It's a jam guys, it's a jam Congratulations hall pass, but I've got to go with you, Amy. New flow. What a tune. It's a jam, guys. It's a jam. Congratulations. Straight out of 2003. You've just won Birthday Banger. Amy?

Yay, thanks, guys. It's such a good Friday jam, too. Such a good one. Brent Clint. Here's Big Brothers on ZM. Brian Clint. I came across something pretty interesting on the interwebs this week, Clint. Yeah.

And it was about gummy bears. Oh, yeah, okay. Which, I mean, I'm a fan of gummy bears. Those Haribo ones everyone goes on about? Yes. That's the global standard for gummy bears, eh? It is. That's kind of the gummy bears everyone chooses, I guess.

Are they American? They must be American. I think they're German. Oh. Actually, I don't know. I saw this post on Reddit where everyone was losing their minds because people were talking about what the flavours were of each gummy bear. Yeah. And there's one particular gummy bear that everyone was really kind of shocked

at what the flavour was. Just like when you told me that a rainbow petal pop is caramel flavour. I know. Blew my mind. Wild, right? Blew my mind. So I right? Blew my mind. So I thought we could put you to the test this afternoon. I'm going to give you some of the green gummy bears,

which is the flavour that everyone's talking about. Yeah. And I just want you to tell me what flavour you think the green gummy bear is. Before you give it to me, I would assume it's lime. Okay. That's what... You go off flavour, right? You go off colour and I would assume that it's lime.

Okay, so have a go at those, some green gummy bears. And you just tell me what flavour is the green one? Because normally a green coloured lolly is lime or apple? Apple. It's apple. You think it's apple? No, you see apple, I can taste apple. It's an apple flavour.

The green gummy bear from Haribo. Haribo? Haribo? Is. You wouldn't believe this. Strawberry. No, it's not. Apparently.

No, it's not. Apparently it is. Why would they make the green gummy bear strawberry flavour? I don't know. But apparently it's actually strawberry flavoured. Someone should make them try the white one as well. Is there a white gummy bear? The clear one.

What flavour is that? This is just to be honest because I wanted to eat some gummy bears. Yeah, I can tell that. I have no idea what that flavour is. Pineapple. No, it's not. Why would it be the white one pineapple? Yeah. I get pineapple. I don't get what that flavour is. Pineapple. No, it's not. It tastes like nothing. Yeah.

I get pineapple. I don't get flavours out of any of them. It just tastes like gum. It tastes like gummy bear. Are you eating gummy bears with your Invisalign in? I forgot to take my Invisalign out before the break. That's such a no-no. Well, I can't chew them, so I'm just sucking on them.

Because I've taken my teeth out. You go to the bathroom. Big news out of Netflix today. What have they done? Another Full House spin-off. Have they? No. Are the Olsen twins in this one?

No, still not. Oh, boo. Now it's called Empty House. Everyone's moved out. No, that's not funny. The news out of Netflix today is that they are ending their DVD delivery service. Wait, what? Yeah.

That wasn't a thing here. That was not a thing here. No. But that's how Netflix started. Yeah. Netflix, 25 years ago, the way that they were conceived as a company and the way they changed the world, the way they killed Blockbuster and I guess

by association Video Easy and United Video Whoa, play it one more time now. Video 2000? Yeah, um Video Vixen? Oh no, that's a different one That's an adult video service that you've just outed yourself

Claudia what was the Video Easy song Do you remember Video easy movie guarantee Get it first time Or get it free Video easy Why is there a space

In my brain for that Did you just make that up I don't know my wife's phone number Sounded made up I've never heard that in my life That's the Video Easy song Somebody right now Will have had a flashback. Video

Easy. Video Easy. It's so easy. See, I can make up songs too. No, I didn't make that up. Anyway, Netflix have said it's time to stop delivering DVDs to people. In the States they were still doing this. In 2020 it was still worth

$200 million to their business. Really? Delivering DVDs. In 2021, a year later, down to $100 million. And then it's down, it's down, it's down, and they've gone, we don't need it. I lived in the States for a couple of years, and I remember people having that service. And I also remember they did vending machine DVDs.

Vending machine DVDs were here as well. Yes, and they were here too. There's still a place for it. This is where I think it sucks a bit. I understand they can't keep doing it forever. But not everybody has the internet or at least good internet. Oh, my God. I saw an ad for something the other day that really creeped me out.

And it was an ad for – maybe this was a dream. It was an ad for internet and you could have 5G no matter where you are in the world. Oh, yeah, that's Starlink. Is it called Starlink? That's what Elon Musk does, yeah. That's the Starlink. Have you seen it? There was an ad for it here in New Zealand. Yeah, that's not a dream, mate.

That's real. You can do that. And I was like, that's creepy. Your parents can get 5G at their farm. They never have had 5G. They can. So Elon Musk boxes up a little satellite for you and then you stick it on your roof.

Is he still in the factory boxing them up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude doesn't sleep. Does it actually work? Someone just texted and said that I absolutely nailed the video. Easy jingle. Thank you very much. Well, there, yeah. Dude doesn't sleep. Does it actually work? Someone just texted in and said that I absolutely nailed the video easy jingle. Thank you very much. Well, there you go. Anyway, my point is we've all watched The Last of Us, okay?

The TV show, the zombie apocalypse one. When that inevitably happens, all you're going to have to watch is DVDs, okay? It's true. There is not going to be any internet. Same with music. If you haven't kept all those DVDs. Same with CDs. Same with CDs.

If you haven't kept those, you've got nothing. You've got nothing. One of the coolest things that my partner and I did, we went and stayed at this little cabin, and it's like all run from solar power and all that kind of thing, and there was a TV in the cabin. You remember those TVs that have a DVD player built in? A 14-inch little box tv yeah

yeah yeah i wanted one of those so bad they were so cool back in the day and we saw this tv and we were like wait and then we opened the cupboard and there was all these dvds and i was like this is such a throwback yeah there's something wholesome about it there there is uh anyway remember when we can't do it anymore remember when we went to Dargaville when the last blockbuster in New Zealand was closing down? Oh, yeah. Remember that? Yeah. They were still selling those DVDs for like $10 a DVD.

You went into that weird out-the-back room and bought all those DVDs half price. I went into the porno section for research purposes. Thank you very much. That's not what you said at the time. You made me go in there. There's some good news and some not so good news for the men of the world. Okay.

We talked earlier about the male contraceptive pill. Yes. I feel like that's good news for men. Good news? Look, do you want the good news first or the bad news? I'll give you the good news first. Okay, I generally like my bad news first because I like the good news to cheer me up afterwards. Same, but I'm running this show.

So here's what's going on. Apparently, according to studies and research, the average penis length worldwide has increased by, get this, 24% in recent decades. So let's talk statistics on that. And this is data from the last 30 years, right? What? Claudia's just done the gesture for 25% of a very small penis is still not very much. No, it's not. I can give you the exact measurement, right? 25% of a four centimetre donger is only one centimetre.

So the average length of a male appendage was 12 centimetres. Oh, yeah, that's the average. The average. In what year? This was 30 years ago. Oh yeah. And over the past 30 years from IHOP. Oh yeah, later on. You're getting too excited.

It's moved to 15 centimeters. Oh, that's decent. A jump of three centimeters. Three centimeters? Yeah. Three centimeters. That's what research is showing. Yeah. I don't know a man listening that wouldn't give his left one for another three centimetres.

I know. Even if they're perfectly well endowed, you always want more. Yeah. Well, I'll give you the bad news now. Oh. So there has been an increase in length and that's like worldwide across all males worldwide. Oh, not a reduction in girth.

But there has been, and this is bad news, but there has been a decrease in testosterone levels and sperm quality. Oh, right, and fertility. Yeah. And that's what I was talking about before with the estrogen and the BPA and the- All those types of things. The chemicals and everything like that. And they're quite confused.

And the tight-fitting undies and the- Yeah, well, we don't know if that's true. Putting your laptop on your lap even though it's in the title of the computer to have it in your lap. Having your cell phone in your pocket too close to your testes and the radio waves. Oh, don't say that because I always think about those things. I mean, not my testes because I don't have testes, but like having your phone up against your ear, like which is close to your brain. Like anyway, they said that they're quite confused by the results because the length of the male appendage

in the last 30 years has increased, but then the sperm quality. It's getting bigger, but less effective. Yeah. And they're quite confused by that because they said that normally that wouldn't be the case. But obviously there's a reason for it. They haven't exactly figured it out, but they're obviously looking into it at the moment. Well, there you go.

If you're 30, ring your dad tonight. And say, suck it, Dad. Oh, no, you probably shouldn't. No, no, don't use those words. Don't talk about that and then say that to your dad. Oh, James. I will not, son. That is the end of the Thursday show.

Oh, tomorrow's Friday and then it's the unofficial long weekend. Oh, hey. I'm so excited. I mean, nothing better. What are you doing for the long, long weekend? Going to the beach, going to Coromandel. Nice. What are you doing for the long, long weekend?

Going to the beach, going to the Coromandel. Nice. We're such Aucklanders. How good. Such Aucklanders. If you have a long, long weekend, be safe on the roads. You know, we can do this tomorrow. Oh, Drew, do we have to come back tomorrow? I thought we were taking tomorrow off. No, no, no, no, no. We're taking Monday off. Be safe on the roads You know We can do this tomorrow Oh Drew

Do we have to come back tomorrow I thought we were taking tomorrow off No no no We're taking Monday off Oh Nah I'm kidding I'm excited It'll be a long long long weekend

I'm excited for Friday Which I'm up for I mean Yeah is that a long long long weekend What are we doing for Friday Oki tomorrow We are doing Blink 182 Is it Blink 182 or Blink 182 Blink are doing Blink 182.

Is it Blink 182 or Blink 182? Blink 182. Blink 182, aye. I'm fairly confident it's Blink 182. Fairly confident. Why are we still discussing this 30 years on? Because no one has answered the question. We'll sing some Blink 182 tomorrow

for Friday Oki and everything else. We'll catch you guys back then. Our podcast is out very shortly. Go and grab that. Enjoy the bits that you missed of our show and we'll catch you back tomorrow. See ya. Bye guys. ZM's Brand Clint. On Insta, Facebook, TikTok and live weekdays from 3 on ZM.

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