ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – 22nd April 2021
Episode Date: April 22, 2021Tradie V LadyWho paid for the wedding?Instagram hackDo you remember? #GameHot damWhat’s The Plot!Something coming to WellingtonWho called you fat?Birthday Banger!A drug for a broken heartWeed tester...Period painSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Hello everybody, welcome to the Bree and Clint podcast.
G'day.
G'day everybody.
Today on the show we are going to have a conversation about when people called you fat.
Do we want to read out some of the texts that didn't make it to air?
Yeah.
Okay, it was a pretty, like, not heavy, but like traumatic thing that we were talking about, being called fat.
And we talked about how it sticks with you.
But some people, some people text us some text messages that
didn't make it to where that are worth reading out that aren't funny but we should read them out
anyway yeah someone said my grandfather told my boyfriend you like him big huh thanks pops
there was another grandma one where was it oh yeah i feel like this is very relatable to anyone who
had you know how grandparents can be like painfully honest?
Yeah.
When they came back from their OE, they said,
wow, you got big over there.
Jeez, that's so harsh.
Someone said, I had a manager who,
when I said I was going to lunch,
he patted my stomach and said,
are you sure you need lunch?
That's fucked, can I say? That's fucked. Fuck you. you need lunch that's fucked can i say that's
that's so fast he can't touch you oh my god not even that he can't touch you why is he commenting
on your weight it's none of his fucking business god that pisses me off this is one you just should
never do someone said a customer asked me when my baby was due the rule is unless you can see the head you don't assume that anyone is pregnant you
do not ask that question and um also none of your business i had a friend come over to the house my
one of my wife's friends um come over to the house the other week who i was pretty sure was pregnant
um and uh she came over and i like i think i knew she was pregnant but she hadn't told me that she
was pregnant yeah right so i went out of my way to be like hey can i get you a glass of wine
and she was like no i'm pregnant i was like oh well i didn't want to assume
you know now you look stupid as well she hadn't told me that she was pregnant now
you look like you just think she's that weight all the time but i didn't want to assume
i didn't want to assume you I didn't want to assume.
You should have said nothing.
Someone else said.
Well, no, because I couldn't talk about the baby until she had told me there was a baby.
I kind of wanted to break the ice.
How about you just say nothing?
Leave it alone.
No, but I want to be like, I want to be excited about the baby.
No, but that's the same thing as not asking.
You're putting a woman in a position where.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no no no no no i'm the woman i'm telling you there's a missing link no sorry there's a missing link what's the missing
link i think i thought that i remembered lucy telling me that this person was pregnant but i
wasn't a hundred percent sure like i think the news had been shared with me indirectly but i
wasn't a hundred percent sure so it hadn't been shared directly with you
so then you should have said nothing yeah but you wait for them if they want to tell you they will
tell you will they yes of course well i didn't want her to think that i didn't care she would
have just assumed that i'd been told because it's also a really touchy subject like you should never
talk to people about getting pregnant or like
anything like that because you don't know people's situations oh i know yeah so it's like a big it's
like a big thing you should never ask a woman anything like that that's what i think but then
i don't know people do it all the time but maybe just think before you ask try my wine technique
no that's not a good thing to do because Because then what if, let's say, what if she wasn't however many weeks yet
and she didn't want to talk about it.
Yeah, like Mariah Carey on the episode of Ellen.
Exactly.
You Ellen'd her.
Fuck, I'm Ellen.
You Ellen'd her.
You've got the same haircut.
I'm getting cancelled.
Damn it!
Is that why you're cutting your hair like Ellen?
I'm going to have to retire to my multi-million dollar mansion
for the rest of my life.
Horrible news.
Horrible news.
Horrible news.
Poor Ellen.
Yeah, she'll be fine.
So tough.
She'll be fine.
All right, let's get out of here.
Here's today's podcast.
Enjoy it.
Savor it.
Lap it up.
Why?
There's one tomorrow as well.
No, I know, but there's not one until tomorrow.
Oh.
And then it's a long weekend. And then it's a long weekend.
And then it's a long weekend.
So just remember.
Maybe enjoy this in chunks.
Yeah.
You know?
Big chunks.
Maybe a little bit now and a little bit after dinner
and then just a little bit before bed.
See you guys.
That's how I describe my wine intake too.
Hey Google, what's the time?
It's 3pm, give or take a minute
Alexa, play ZM on iHeartRadio
Playing ZM on iHeartRadio
Hey Siri, when are Brie and Clint on?
Brie and Clint are on air in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Kia ora everybody, welcome to the show, it's Brie and Clint
God, I forgot we were doing a whole radio show just then
Thursday, what's today?
Thursday.
Every day.
I've started doing radio shows on the weekend.
They don't broadcast.
They're just for me, but, you know, just to keep myself sharp.
That's called your podcast that no one listens to.
No, don't upload it either.
Would be a...
That is what is known as a podcast.
It's the ramblings of a very tired man.
Today on the show, your chance to win, add to cart.
It's travel week.
We've got one more item to add in there at four o'clock.
And then at five, if you've got all five items, call us, tell us.
You'll take them all home.
Easy as that.
Pretty simple.
I'm just looking at what today's, ooh, probably my most wanted item I've heard.
The four o'clock one?
Throughout this whole AdDocard.
Can I see what it is?
Oh, right.
Yes.
Oh, we have it?
Oh, good.
Okay.
That's a different way of doing it.
I like that.
It's very good.
Cool.
Four o'clock.
We'll announce that next, though.
Your chance to win 50 bucks cash to start the show if you're the smartest tradie or lady in New Zealand this afternoon.
That's right. Call now 0800DIALZM and you could win that 50 bucks.
Easy peasy. It's general knowledge.
Here's Lil Nas X on ZM.
Bree and Clint.
Bree and Clint.
Tradies versus ladies. All right, the tradies versus the ladies.
So far this year, the ladies sitting on 33 wins
and the tradies with a win yesterday sitting on 24.
Let's meet today's lady.
She's 21.
She's from the Tron as well.
Strong representation from the Tron at the moment
and has a 14-year-old cat with one eye.
How good?
Welcome to the show, Alyssa.
Hi, Alyssa.
Hi.
How are you guys doing?
What happened to the cat's eye?
Well, we had a neighbour with a big man-coon cat that bit him up.
Oh, no.
No, the big man-coon.
Doesn't your 21-year-old cat have one eye?
No, she's 18 and she's still got both eyes.
Oh, right.
Shout out to Shizzle if you're listening.
She can't. She's deaf. Yeah, she
is deaf. Okay, Alyssa, you'll be
taking on our tradie today. He's 32
and he owns an app just for
tradies. She? Whoa. Oh,
she owns an app just for tradies.
Welcome to the show, the Mark Zuckerberg
of tradies. It's Tanya.
Hi, Tanya. Hi.
Tanya, you sound cool as, can I say.
What's the app?
Give it a plug.
We are MyTradie.
Yes.
Nice and easy.
And what does MyTradie do?
So we just essentially make it really easy for everyone to find tradies that they need
and easy for tradies to promote themselves.
Great idea.
That is such a good idea.
I have so many jobs.
I'm going to get the app.
Here we go, guys.
Tanya, your buzzy is Trady.
Alyssa, yours is Lady.
First to three correct answers wins $50 cash.
Here comes question number one.
The TV characters Milhouse and Nelson are from what popular cartoon?
Yes, Tanya.
Simpsons.
That is correct.
Easy money.
Come on.
Into their 108th season now, isn't it?
Yeah, definitely still watching.
Question number two.
660 will become the first band to play New Zealand's biggest stadium, Eden Park, tomorrow.
Name one 660 song.
Yes, Alyssa.
Long gone.
Nice one.
It's one apiece.
Question number three.
The song A Whole New World is from which Disney film?
Trudy.
Yes, Alyssa.
Is that The Little Mermaid?
No.
Unfortunately.
Oh, Taga.
Free guess for you.
Frozen 2.
Oh, no.
Has no one seen Aladdin?
That was the next guess. That was the next one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe.
Lion King.
I can't believe no one got that.
All right, still one apiece.
Question number four.
How many people are on the court for each team during a game of netball?
Ladies.
Yes, Alyssa.
Seven.
Seven is correct.
Two to the ladies, one to the tradies.
Question number five.
Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has said she's feeling the pressure
from her family to set a date for her wedding.
Who is she engaged to?
Lady.
Oh, Alyssa.
Is it me?
No, that's her daughter.
No, she's not engaged to me.
Oh, no.
Oh, Alyssa.
Tanya, free guess before we go to multi-choice.
Clark.
Clark Gaifert.
That's correct.
We are all tied up, guys.
This is for the win.
Here we go.
Question number six.
How many colours are there in a standard rainbow?
Lady.
Yes, Alyssa, for the win.
Seven.
She's a lady.
What a day. Oh, she's a lady. Amazing. She's a lady. What a day.
Oh, oh, oh, she's a lady.
Amazing.
I really enjoyed that.
That was such a good game.
Nice work, guys.
But, Alyssa, you take it out this afternoon.
Fifty bucks coming your way.
Thank you, guys, so much.
The ladies extend the lead.
Bree and Clint.
Look, this is a story that might trigger people organising a wedding.
And I'm going to say it's a bridezilla.
I'm going to go out there and say
a bridezilla has cancelled
her wedding because
her guests
didn't donate $1500
each to fund the event.
What?
So apparently
this bride thought that
each guest should pay $1,500
so that her and her groom could have the ultimate wedding that they wanted.
When she didn't receive any donations,
she decided she'd cancel the whole thing.
$1,500.
I wouldn't pay $1,500 to attend Beyonce's wedding.
She wrote this on one of the Facebook groups.
I need to get away from this awful society.
How hard would it be to have been to donate to your friends?
Do I matter to you?
Just give me your money for my wedding.
I won't even sugarcoat this.
I won't even pretend that it's not what I wanted.
It was my dream. What a psychopath.
Goodbye.
See you in a couple of months.
See you in a couple of months.
I'm never talking to you again until summer.
And then she said, I'm cutting all of you snakes off.
Wow.
She wasn't happy.
People do effectively pay to attend weddings these days
with the...
Wishing well.
Wishing well.
You're effectively giving a contribution
to what is a very expensive day.
But $1,500?
Must be like a degustation meal wedding.
It better be.
There better be like helicopter bungee jumps for everybody,
bouncy castle,
performance from 660.
Enrique Iglesias.
Yeah, right, yeah.
Jeez, you went for it.
$1,500?
Weddings are expensive, and you have to be able to fund it yourself to have a wedding.
It'd be nice, it is nice if your guests chip in a little bit on the day, but you can't expect that to pay for the day.
Otherwise it's not worth doing it. You should have a cheaper
wedding. I find it
interesting to know who
pays what for certain
weddings. Remember that old
kind of saying is that
the bride's parents
pay for the wedding? The father of the bride
is meant to. Yeah, why?
That's the old tradition.
Why?
I don't know, but I think it's from back in the day
when your daughter was marrying you into a better family kind of thing.
Like you were, it's kind of like a dowry type.
Yuck.
Yeah, yeah, but it's like.
Yuck.
The status, like if you've watched Bridgerton.
Disgusting.
Yeah.
Yeah, so it's like...
I think that's where it comes from.
It's like, take my daughter and give her a good life
and I will pay for the wedding.
Yeah.
Oh, that's so old school.
You look after her.
Very old school.
We want to know this afternoon, who paid for the wedding?
Yeah, who was it?
Was it you and your partner that paid for the whole thing?
Was it the, you know, the...
No, I want to know if you've got a rich uncle who is like,
whatever kind of wedding you want.
What uncle is paying for someone's wedding?
A rich uncle who loves you.
You might be his favourite niece.
And he's like, have whatever wedding you want.
I've got a rich uncle and I know he ain't paying for nothing for me.
You haven't asked.
You haven't asked.
I'm not asking.
Ask him.
We'll ring him and ask him.
No, we are not doing that.
If he says he'll pay for unlimitedlimited Wedding, you have to propose.
I wouldn't want it.
Oh, you're stupid.
Oh, $800 at M.
Who paid for the wedding?
That's the question we want to know this afternoon.
You can also text us on 9696.
Bree and Clint.
You might have won yourself a free wedding.
Bree and Clint.
We're asking who paid for the wedding? I know
it's a bit of a personal question.
But we're asking you
to be honest with us this afternoon. They're expensive.
Yeah, and a bit of a
waste of money.
If you ask me. A little bit.
I think everybody who's had a wedding
and has paid for a wedding. Would agree.
They're a waste of money. That's what I was going to say.
You know it's a waste of money. Because you're like, oh. But it They're a waste of money. That's what I was going to say. Yeah. You know it's a waste of money.
Because you're like, oh.
But it's a fun waste of money.
Could have bought a house.
It's kind of like throwing money up in the air at a strip club.
You're like, woo.
Good house deposit, wasn't it?
I'll regret this later.
Let's talk to an anonymous male.
Hello, anonymous male.
Hello.
How are you?
Who paid for the wedding?
What's that, sorry?
Who paid for the wedding? Me's that, sorry? Who paid for the wedding?
Me and my wife did.
Okay.
That's weird.
You paid for your own wedding?
Yes.
Yeah, well, we found it a bit awkward and rude to ask for money, so we decided to...
I totally get that anonymous, can I say?
I feel like if I ever get married, which I don't know if I will,
but I feel like I'd like to pay for my own wedding,
which will be a small one because I'll be paying for it.
Can we ask what your budget was, Anonymous?
You're anonymous.
You can just tell us.
What was the budget for the wedding?
It was about $1,200.
$1,200?
Oh, that's not too bad. You got married for $1,200? I can justify $1,200. $1,200? Oh, that's not too bad.
You got married for $1,200?
I can justify $1,200.
What was the wedding like?
Was it a chilli bin full of beers?
No, there was no alcohol.
It was basically a platter.
I took two hours off work to come and get married
and then went back to work straight afterwards.
What?
You took two hours off work
for your own wedding
and had a platter?
He took an hour extra
for his lunch break.
This is bizarre.
I love that.
Right, okay.
I love that.
Why not?
Go against the grain.
Okay.
Someone else...
No explanation given.
Someone...
That's pretty standard, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Someone texted through and they said,
we paid for our own wedding and
we had army trucks as our wedding cars
and the total cost was $5,000
including the ringing
of the church bells. Wow. You've got to
include that. What was the cost to the New Zealand
taxpayer when you used the army trucks though?
I would argue I paid for your wedding.
Maybe they owned their own.
Oh, right.
And they just camoed some, you know, some high luxes.
They're starting a militia.
Some high luxes.
This person wants to remain anonymous as well.
Hello, anonymous.
Hello, anonymous.
Hello.
Hello, come on.
Oh, what's the go, anonymous?
Razzle dazzle us.
Who paid for your wedding?
ZM paid for my wedding.
What?
ZM paid for your wedding.
Well, I did a radio competition And I won
Yeah
And the deal was
I was supposed to buy a house
But they couldn't give us
The money for the house
So they said
You can just have the money
So we paid our bills
Got married with Tahiti
And yeah
How good
That's a pretty good deal
Was this an old
ZM live rent free competition?
It was the My house, My Sandcastle competition.
My House, My Sandcastle.
Rings a bell.
Don't even remember it.
How much money did we give you?
30 grand.
Whoa!
Nice!
Anonymous!
You cleaned absolutely up with that.
And you got your bills paid off, a trip to Tahiti,
and you got married with it.
You did it right.
Well done.
I did. And then when we come back, we worked bills paid off, a trip to Tahiti, and you got married with it. You did it right. Well done. I did.
And then when we come back, we worked our butts off
and we bought a house and we sold it
and we bought another house in a kiki area and we're free home.
Can I say anonymous?
It's so nice to hear because obviously we give away prizes
and stuff all the time.
It's one of my favourite parts of this job
and it's so nice to hear someone who has once a big prize to call back in
and to hear what you did with it.
And we definitely wanted the house
but the bank lending at that time
was because we've got too many bills.
We'll pay them all. We'll do this
and we'll come back and we'll just work out.
Seeing as we gave you
$30,000, are you a ZDM listener
for life? Yeah, I took
an hour to work so I listened to you when I can't.
Yes. Love it. We'll buy
people with money. We can't afford to give everyone
30 grand, though. Finally, last anonymous
person. Oh, your
sister-in-law won a wedding as well. Another free
wedding. Yeah, so she
entered a competition, and she was planning
a wedding at the time, and
they've got three kids, and
trying to like
save up for this wedding and she won a free wedding up to the value of like 40k or something
and then she gave it up because she didn't like the venue are you serious
yeah where i mean where was do you know where the venue actually no don't don't say yeah don't tell
me you've won a you've won a wedding from Auckland City Council.
It's the Waitakere Landfill, but it's worth 40 grand.
I'd still take it.
Bree and Clint.
Right, I'm about to give you a hack on how to view anonymously
people's Instagram stories.
Oh.
Now, I know people have wanted to do this in the past.
I've heard you, Clint, wanting to do this at some point.
Don't throw me into this.
Hey, it's fine.
Remember?
You've been like, oh, I can't do that because I don't want them to see that I'm viewing this story.
That's the feeling that everybody who wants to creep on an Instagram story without being seen feels like.
We've all felt it before.
Maybe you want to check your exes.
Maybe you want to check your enemies.. Maybe you want to check your enemies.
It's completely natural.
And I've got a hack here for you.
And it's really simple.
So if you didn't know, Instagram actually preloads a handful of Instagram stories that
you can view without an internet connection.
Right.
So the way I view it, to be sneaky, you can go to the profile that you want to stalk.
So go to the profile before doing anything else.
Then you wait for the story ring to appear around the profile picture.
Sure.
And then once that appears, you then turn your phone to aeroplane mode.
Yeah.
And without a Wi-Fi connection, so take that off.
And you'll be able to view some of the stories
that have preloaded.
Now, how do I get out?
That's something I need to know.
I haven't thought that far ahead.
Once I've viewed it, when can I turn the internet back on
without it registering it?
I would say...
Or can I never turn the internet back on?
Just never use your phone again.
Yeah, right.
You haven't given me enough info for me to feel safe to do it,
so I'll keep using my fake profile.
All the details are up at ZM online
if you want to see exactly how to do it.
One more item in the cart next.
For ZM's answer cart, what is it?
You can get it, you can write it down, and you can win it at 5 o'clock.
Bree and Clint, ZM.
Bree and Clint.
Look, this is a game that I came up with a little while ago.
You weren't here when we first played this game.
No.
But it's essentially to kind of reminisce or evoke an emotion,
a bit of nostalgia.
Yeah.
Where we want to remember songs that we haven't thought about for a long time.
You know that feeling.
Someone puts it on and you go, oh, my God.
I remember this.
What's the name of the game?
The name of the game is called Do You Remember?
But of course it is.
Of course it is. Of course it is.
So this is how we play, Clint.
Essentially, people have to call us up, 0800DIALZM,
and they have to suggest a song where they think we will go,
oh, my God.
Oh, my God, I haven't thought about that for ages.
Haven't even thought about this song in such a long time.
She was such a vibe or they were amazing or I had such a big crush on him.
Which makes it a bit hard because, you know, we do have Friday jams,
so there is some songs that get played.
And, you know, we have to at least heard of the song.
And unfortunately for you guys, we're the judges.
Yes.
And our ruling is final.
Let's have a bit of a go at this game ourselves.
Yeah.
We're going to suggest a song to each other
where we're trying to bring up that feeling of
I haven't heard this in so long.
Would you like to go first or second?
I'll go first.
Okay.
Do you remember?
This absolute banger from Mandy Moore.
Baby, come to me.
Show me who you are. from Mandy Moore.
Banger.
Banger.
Is this the song where it was like
the first kind of like
product placement
influencing for the and she did it for the Vida Beatle and in the music where it was like the first kind of like product placement influencing for the,
and she did it for the Vida Beatle?
Yes.
And in the music video, she was driving a Vida Beatle and everyone went,
I love this song, I love her, I want a Vida Beatle.
It's heavily in the film clip.
Have you thought about that song in a long time?
Not in a long time.
So?
So I'd give you a point there.
Do you remember?
Right, you give it a go.
Okay, here I go.
My one, I don't want to say too much about it.
I want to let it speak for itself.
The person who sings the song has an iconic voice.
It's from the 90s.
Okay.
Have you thought about this song recently? I try to walk away and I stumble Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world comes close when you are not here
Macy Gray.
Macy Gray, I try.
I try.
I thought about it quite recently actually.
Did you?
Because she is actually in a,
she was in a movie or a TV show that I was watching,
like acting.
Was she?
Yeah, real random.
And I was like, oh my God Was she? Yeah, real random.
And I was like, oh my God, Macy Gray, what a vibe.
And then I found her and put a playlist on Spotify.
Damn it.
But great song.
But great song.
That's how it works, guys.
Some of them will work, some of them won't.
If you think you can pull it off, call us.
Talk to producer Ben.
Give him the song.
We won't hear them until they go to air, okay?
We'll vibe it out.
Yeah.
It needs to be unanimous from you and I, Clint.
Yes.
Can you get past making both of us think,
oh, that was a tune.
The most nostalgic song gets played as well.
So there's your trophy.
0800 dials at M.
We'll play Do You Remember.
Bree and Clint.
We're playing a game called Do You Remember?
The idea of the game is surprise us with a song that we haven't thought about for ages.
But makes us think, oh, that was a banger.
I love that song.
Why isn't that on my playlist?
When you think ages, something we haven't thought about in ages, how long?
I don't want to have thought about it for at least three years.
Yeah, I reckon that's about right.
Yeah.
At least three years.
But also, that's not like a real number.
It just needs to feel like it was about three years.
It's a vibe, yeah.
So can you surprise us with one?
We're going to start with someone who wants to remain anonymous.
Oh, okay, mysterious.
Or their name's Anon.
Oh, right.
Are you anonymous or is your name Anon?
Just anonymous.
Okay.
Anon, here we go.
When you're ready, introduce it.
Name an artist of the song.
So the name of the song is Young Homie by Chris Rene.
I love this song. I love this song.
I love this song.
Was on America's Got Talent?
No, X Factor.
X Factor.
Fun fact, this song was only a hit in New Zealand.
This is the only country it went to number one.
Now, I hate to be party pooper.
It came up in Birthday Banger.
It came up in Birthday Banger.
And also, I had an Instagram memory from when he came to New Zealand
and we hosted a listening party with him
and it came up in my Instagram feed
just last week.
Good song though, Anonymous.
Worth a shot though.
Worth a shot.
Great song.
Great tact as well from Anonymous
coming at it from not a real big artist.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
One hit wonder.
One hit wonder, yeah.
Jaden's here.
Hey, Jaden.
G'day, Jaden.
Hello.
Okay, we're going to sting you in and then you're going to tell us the song that you want to know if we remember.
Do you remember?
My, My, My by Armand Van Helden.
Great 2000s banger, this song.
Brie, have you thought about it?
Can't say I have thought about it.
Does it give you the feeling though?
No.
Oh my God, this song.
No.
No.
Not a bad song.
Yeah, I think I would agree with you.
However, at the moment, Jaden, you're leading, okay?
Yeah, you're in the lead.
I don't think it's perfect, but you're in the lead.
We've got one more shot of this from Rebecca.
Hi, Rebecca.
G'day, Beck.
Hey. Come on, bring it home, Beck. Here we go, Beck. When you're in the lead. We've got one more shot at this from Rebecca. Hi, Rebecca. G'day, Beck. Hey.
Come on, bring it home, Beck.
Here we go, Beck.
When you're ready.
Um, Kit, are you going to be my girl?
Four, five, six.
Come on and get your kicks.
Now you don't need the money when you look like that.
Do your honey.
This is good.
This takes me back to pubs.
I just thought about it two nights ago.
No, you did not.
Yep, it was on Popstars
because one of the contestants did a remix version of it.
No!
Bugger.
Okay, all right.
So here's the thing.
We haven't played this before.
We either pick the best of those
or we go no winner this week.
Oh.
It does make the prize more attractive
if there's no winner.
Yeah, because if there's no song that really sticks out,
do we include our songs that we put in the mix?
No.
Oh.
Because then it would just be yours.
All right, we'll try again next yours. Messing you like candy.
Alright,
we'll try again next week.
The song is out there.
The song has to be out there.
It's out there.
The song that gives you that feeling.
We'll see if we can
find it again next week.
Brie and Clint.
Brie,
I've got a surprise for you.
Is it a puppy?
No,
it's not a puppy.
It involves your
favourite male artist.
Who would that be?
Who's your favourite male artist?
I don't know.
You know who it is.
Just say it.
Elvis.
Oh, no.
Your other favourite male artist.
Is this a joke?
No, who's your other favourite male artist?
Freddie Mercury.
No.
No, your favourite artist is Pitbull.
I'm about to blow your minds.
I'm about to blow your freaking minds.
Is Pitbull here?
No, he's not here.
I wish he was here.
Someone has had way too much time on their hands and they've done a Photoshop job to see what Pitbull would look like
if he had hair
and facial hair.
Gotcha.
And what you're about to see,
I don't think you're
quite ready for this.
Very visual.
It is very visual
and that's why I've just
put the pictures
on our Bree and Clint
Instagram story.
So you can go
and see this too.
And I think you're
going to want to
after you hear Bree's reaction.
No you won't, man.
Bree,
producer Ben,
get it ready.
Please feast your eyes on what Pitbull would look like with hair.
Oh, my God.
He's so hot.
Pitbull, if he had shoulder length hair.
He would look like Randall from The Edge.
That is Randall from The Edge.
If he had slightly longer hair.
Well, not slightly.
The guy's bald.
If he had shoulder length hair and some real stylised facial hair.
He's so sexy.
How hot would he look?
Oh, my God. That's blown me away. He's so sexy. How hot would he look? Oh my god.
That's blown me away.
It's too much and it makes you go, is Pitbull
balding? Because if he's not,
if he's shaved his hair, you know,
for style, grow it out.
Because the world deserves
to see this. Look at the middle photo.
Yeah, I know. It's so good.
It kind of looks like a mix of
like Jon Snow
from Game of
Thrones. Yes. And
I'd say Enrique Iglesias. There's a big
Enrique Iglesias vibe, isn't there? Yeah.
There you go. If you want to see it, if your afternoon
needs a bit of a pick-me-up, if you've never
thought to yourself, hmm, Pitbull,
go and look at our Bree and Clint Instagram
story right now.
Pull up! Feel fine our Bree and Clint Instagram story right now.
Bree and Clint.
Once upon a time, there was a girl.
She was smart, debatable, talented, eh, athletic.
Not really, but picking a movie title based on just the plot line,
that she can do.
Brie and Clint, what's the plot?
On her way to a five-game winning streak, or is she?
That's up to you, Lauren.
You're the person charged with taking Brie down at her own game.
Are you up to the challenge?
I sure am.
Yes, you are. Bring it on, Loz. Yes, you are. Bring it on Loz. Bring it
on. I'll give you the rules.
I'll start reading movie plotlines.
The first person to buzz in
with their name can have a guess
at what it is. If you're wrong,
the other person gets a free guess.
First person to get two plotlines
correct wins the game.
And if it's you, Lauren, you'll take home $250.
Can I say Loz instead of Lauren?
You can say Loz instead of Lauren.
Cool.
Bree, you can say Boz if you want.
Thank you.
Yep.
This week, the theme, detective movies or whodunits.
Okay.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, no.
Here we go, everybody.
Best of luck.
Movie number one.
When two cops join a special unit,
they use their youthful appearances to go undercover.
Three.
Three.
21 Jump Street.
21 Jump Street.
Yeah, the first one. I don't know Street. 21 Jump Street.
Yeah, the first one.
I don't know.
It could be either.
21 Jump Street.
Is correct.
Oh.
That was a stab.
That's what I had written down.
This is like the worst genre for me.
Is it?
What would have been a good genre for you, Loz?
Oh, like rom-coms or something?
No, rom-com weeks next week.
I would have been right there with you, Loz.
Here we go.
It would have been tough.
It would have been, yep.
Movie number two.
Two Miami detectives blow a fuse when $100 million worth of heroin...
Brie.
Brie.
Bad Boys.
Bad Boys is...
I was just about to say that.
Never mind.
I don't even know if it's right yet, Loz.
Oh, yeah, true.
Correct.
Goodness!
A down trowel, unfortunately.
Loz, no good this week.
Sorry, Loz.
That's all right.
No worries at all.
Call back for Rom-Com Week next week.
Ben, let's do Rom-Com Week next week.
Yeah.
Hey, bring it on.
I love a Rom-Com.
Ben's like, what's that?
Look, he doesn't know what we're talking about.
Ben, like a Rom-Com.
I know what it is.
We did romance movies last week.
Not romance. Rom-com. I know, I know it is. We did romance movies last week. Not romance.
Rom-com.
Rom-com.
Romantic comedy.
Like, um, like,
knocked up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Funny and romantic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's not the one
I would have picked.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a rom-com.
Yeah, it's a weird rom-com.
We'll play,
well, look,
you don't get to choose them.
I just get to win.
Oh.
We'll pay for three hundy bucks next week.
Bree and Clint.
Something new could be coming to Wellington.
Or could it?
Wellington, we haven't been there for a while.
It's one of our favourite places to visit.
Renowned for, well, everybody else thinks Wellington has really good public transport.
You don't need a car in Wellington.
You can catch a bus or a train.
Is that what people say?
I feel like that's it.
But then I think if you live in Wellington,
I think the public transport's always on strike.
I think that's the reality of it anyway.
I think everyone always says that Wellington is windy,
pretty average weather.
But every single time I've been to Wellington,
it's been amazing weather.
Weird, eh?
Yeah.
We've got a weird warped perspective of life in Wellington.
There's a man called
Stephen Moore. He's a government
procurement specialist.
Yeah, I know exactly what that
guy does. Same. He's
upset because...
Oh no, Stephen, what's happened?
He's proposed a new type of public
transport for Wellington and he feels like
he wasn't taken seriously.
Oh, hot air ballooning.
Not hot air ballooning.
He presented a 45-page proposal suggesting that Wellington
Hovercrafts
should get a monorail.
Well, sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine,
bona fide, electrified six-car monorail.
What'd I say?
Monorail.
What's it called?
Monorail.
That's right, monorail. Monorail. Monorail. What's it called? Monorail. That's right, monorail.
Monorail.
Monorail.
Now, I feel like the Simpsons, I don't care how reliable or efficient monorails are,
I feel like the Simpsons ruined any monorail producer's chance of installing a monorail.
Probably.
Does this guy from the government look like the guy that was on the Simpsons?
The ring came off my putty can.
Take my penknife, my good man.
I swear it's Springfield's only choice.
Throw up your hands and raise your voice.
Mother Rail!
What's it called?
Mother Rail!
Once again!
Mother Rail!
Didn't he have a cane?
He had a cane and a stripy jacket.
Yeah, he did.
And straw hat.
Wrapped and broken.
Sorry, Mom.
The mother's...
Yeah, no one's taking him seriously.
Monorail would be pretty cool though.
I mean, it would be cool.
Isn't it just like a kind of fast train?
Yeah, just above the ground for some weird reason.
Mum of two has described the upsetting moment
she was body shamed by a 13-year-old girl.
Oh, no.
In a clothing store.
This is over in the UK, I believe, in a shop called River Island.
They sell a range of different things, men's, women's, kids' clothing.
Janine Cross said she was in the clothing chain store
when she came across a woman and her daughter.
So she was standing behind this woman and her daughter.
Yeah.
And she heard the daughter say, they only have fat girl sizes here.
The 13-year-old then turned around, bumped into Janine and said, oops, sorry.
And then laughed.
Laughed and then left.
Not okay.
The mum said nothing.
The mum didn't, well, the kid had to have learnt it from somewhere.
That's the thing.
Yeah, that's true.
13-year-olds don't just become fat shamers.
No, they don't.
They have to learn it from somewhere. And it's sad because it's probably something that's been reinforced in her that,
Absolutely.
One, it's okay to say something like that and two, that being overweight is a bad thing.
Exactly.
It definitely isn't just ingrained in humans to think or say things like that.
Does it hurt more or less when it comes from a kid?
I think a 13-year-old isn't, you know better at 13.
If it was a six-year-old, you're like, well, it's a six-year-old.
You know, it's not a big deal.
I remember one time one of my, like third cousins, but anyway,
we were playing and she would have been about four and she goes,
I was like, oh, who are you?
She goes, oh, I'm Supergirl.
And I was like, cool, I'll be Batgirl.
And she goes, no, you're fat girl.
No.
And I thought that was pretty funny.
How old were you?
How old was I?
Yeah.
I think I was in my like mid-20s.
Did you get roasted by a four-year-old?
Yeah, I got absolutely steamed by her.
Bree drop kicked her out of the park.
I tried to correct her.
I said, no, bat girl.
And she goes, no, fat girl.
She's like, I didn't stumble.
I know what I said.
But she's four.
I'm ruthless.
Thirteen, you should know better.
Yeah.
And I can't believe that the mum wouldn't say anything.
Yeah.
Well, the mum obviously agrees.
That's the thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Horrible behaviour.
Horrible and disgusting behaviour.
Honestly.
We're going to ask you quite a,
it could be quite a traumatic topic for you this afternoon,
but look, if you're okay with it now and you can laugh about it, I guess.
You can't even laugh about it if you're over it.
You're on to bigger and better things
and it's empowered you rather than held you back.
Yeah.
We want to know this afternoon, who called you fat?
Yeah, what happened? What went down? who called you fat? Yeah, what happened?
What went down?
What did you do?
Yeah.
How did you react?
We want to know your stories.
0800 dial ZM or you can text us on 9696.
When did someone call you fat?
We're asking you this afternoon, a bit of a tough question.
When did someone call you fat?
Yeah, you'll remember it.
If it happened to you, you'll absolutely remember it.
Yeah.
I got called fat once, but not directly.
When a flight, a lady who works for the aeroplane company asked me if I wanted to be seated
in the emergency exit.
Oh, yeah.
And I said, absolutely.
More leg room.
And then she goes, oh, you can't be pregnant though.
And I said, I'm not pregnant, but I'm throwing away these jeans.
I hope you still took the seat though, very comfortable.
I did, I did.
Let's talk to Ashley.
Hi, Ashley.
G'day, Ash.
Hi, how are you?
Someone called you fat.
Someone, yeah, we six-year-olds.
So I was on a school trip with my kids' class.
We were at the gardens learning about nature
and all the things that live and grow there.
The parents had to be the trees,
the kids were the birds and the butterflies and whatnot.
And a wee boy in my group came up to me quite excitedly
and was like, oh, look, guys, we get to have the fat tree.
No!
I hope you gave him an F. we get to have the fat tree. No! No.
I hope you gave him an F.
I've still given the side eye for it.
Yeah.
I hope the tree fell on him and you're just like,
Timber!
Walk out.
Absolutely.
Yeah, good.
Okay, thanks for sharing, Ashley.
Let's talk to Alicia.
Hi, Alicia.
Hi, Alicia.
Hi, how are you?
Good thanks, Alicia.
When did someone call you fat?
I think I was about 16, so I was in high school.
Okay.
And it was my geography teacher.
What?
Your teacher called you fat?
He did.
He said, you're quite overweight, aren't you?
So here's the kicker.
I was only like size 12, neck.
You were size 12?
I was a size 12.
No.
I mean, good kicker, but it doesn't matter if you were a size 32.
He shouldn't be commenting.
He shouldn't be saying that.
I know.
Did you tell your parents?
No, I just kind of...
Internalised it?...fucked it up, I just kind of... Internalised it?
...fucked it up, I guess.
You poor thing.
You know what?
I totally blame my friend who was sitting next to me
was absolutely stunning.
And I was like, anyone would go the way next to her.
Yeah, but you know what?
See, this is the problem.
16-year-olds, you're so like...
Impressionable.
And something like that can be so detrimental
that you don't even realise to a woman's confidence.
Totally.
To anyone's confidence.
If a teacher said that to one of my daughters,
I would be down the school.
I'd be that teacher.
I'd be that parent.
I'd be screaming.
I'd be like, how dare you?
How dare you?
Okay, thanks for sharing, Alicia.
Sorry that happened to you.
Someone texted and said a six-year-old next door
asked me why I was so fat.
I told him it's because I eat
little boys. He ran away and I laughed. That's a great comeback. Someone else said, this is pretty
full on, a doctor called me fat once and said that I'd never be able to have kids because I was too
fat. I wasn't even there to discuss weight or having kids. I've now blacklisted that doctor
and will never go see that person again. Wow.
Good for you. Yeah, right.
Sounds like a horrible doctor.
Lastly, Amanda is here. Hi, Amanda.
Hi, how are you?
Good, thanks, Amanda. Tell us, when did someone call you fat?
I was actually the person that called somebody else fat.
Oh, why? What happened?
I was the meanie.
Why? There was just this fat girl at school and I just tormented
her like really, really bad and then
about 10 years later after leaving school I actually saw her in the local
shopping mall and I was expecting a slap in the face and she just gave me
a big hug and she was just like, you've got me so much strength
and now I'm a fashion
designer. I've got my own boutique. I go to Milan and all these places in Sweden. And
yeah, she's just rolling in money now. But yeah, her confidence built on that.
Did you, wait, wait, did you apologize to her?
Yeah, I did. I did. And I was like, slap me if you want. And she's like, no, I want to
thank you. She said, because it made me a stronger person.
I just got to check, Amanda.
You regret what you did, right?
Oh, hell yeah.
Because it kind of sounds like you're giving
like a motivational talk, you're like,
by fat shaming her, I created her.
I broke her to rebuild her.
You're not suggesting it as a motivational technique,
are you?
Sometimes...
Oh, hell no.
No, good, okay.
I was just mean at school and she just thought it caught that.
And you can realise that you've made mistakes.
Have you read the one text about the Tinder date?
No.
Oh, someone's texted through and they said,
after a Tinder date that ended with us having indoor gardening times, I was told he didn't want to see me again
as he didn't date fat chicks.
I said, fair enough,
since I don't date guys who finish in 30 seconds.
There you go.
That is the correct response.
Boom!
Right in there.
Right in the kisser.
No, not the kisser.
No, not the kisser.
Bree and Clint.
It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Bree and Clint's, not the kisser. No, not the kisser. Bree and Clint. Hey.
It's my birthday.
It's my birthday.
Bree and Clint's Birthday Banger.
All right, Birthday Banger for a Thursday.
Three people.
What was number one on their 16th birthdays?
We're going to start off with Katrina.
Hi, Katrina.
Hi, Katrina.
Hi, how are you?
Good, how are you, mate? Katrina, can you hear us on your speakerphone?
Katrina.
Katrina, Katrina.
We're going to put her on hold.
The producers will speak to her, see if we can get a better line.
We'll go to...
Karenza.
Karenza, kia ora.
Hi, how are you?
I love that name.
Thanks.
Very cool.
What's your birthday, Corenza?
22nd of 4th, 1971.
All right.
You were 16 in 1987 on the 22nd of April.
And wait, 22nd of...
Is it your birthday today?
It is.
Happy birthday.
Oh, cool.
Have you had a good day?
I have. I have. Lovely. Well, I'm so glad had a good day? I have.
I have.
Lovely.
Well, I'm so glad we can do your birthday banger for you.
Here's your birthday banger.
Oh, nice.
Nice.
Sanger.
One of my favourite.
What year are we talking?
1987.
Yeah, how good.
Corenza, you've got a great one.
Yeah, I do. It's cool. Very good. Okay, wait there.
We'll see if we can beat it.
Carlene, all the K names today.
We've got all K names today.
Carlene, welcome to Birthday Banger.
Thank you. How are you guys doing? Good, mate. How are you?
Yeah, good. Thank you.
That's good. When's your birthday?
We've got another one in 71. I am
the 3rd of January, 1971.
Carlene, you and I have the same birthday.
Oh.
Do you hate that it's the 3rd of January?
Does everyone always, like, forget that it's your birthday
or they don't want to party?
No one can come to your birthday.
You either get one or three.
Yes.
Yes, Carlene.
Story of Bree's life.
Hey, we're connected, us people that have got those crappy birthday dates.
You were 16, Carleen, in 1987 as well.
But on the 3rd of January, this is the song that was number one.
Won't you take me to a funky town?
Won't you take me to a funky town?
Pseudo-echo?
Yeah.
I always think of the Towelie episode of South Park.
I always think of the episode of Malcolm in the Middle.
Oh, yeah.
When he's roller skating.
Yes.
Harleen, what do you think?
Well, it gets you moving, that's for sure.
Absolutely.
Gets you moving with some energy, am I right?
Oh, no, we've lost our last one.
Where did she go?
Katrina, that's right.
I've got her details.
Katrina was born on the 19th of July, 1976.
So she was 16 in 1992 on the 19th of July.
And Katrina, if you're listening, this is your birthday banger.
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You other brothers can't deny.
Now when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face, you get sprung.
Huge birthday banger.
So it makes a lot.
You don't realise that it was from the 90s.
Oh no, I realise.
Oh see, I never did.
When did you think it was from?
More like the early 2000s.
Oh yeah, nah.
But then it came back with Nicki Minaj.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Soon she anaconded it
And yeah
That's my vote
For the winner
Of birthday banger today
Yeah I think that's my vote too
There we go
Oh my god
Becky look at her butt
And education
It is so big
There's lots of things
In this song actually
Rap guys
Girlfriends
Body positivity
There we go
Who understands
Those rap guys
They only talk to her because she
looks like a total prostitute.
I mean, her butt
is just so big.
I can't believe it's just so round.
It's like out there. I mean, it's gross.
Gross. Look.
She's just so
whack.
Birthday bangers, it is. What? Birthday banger. Oh, is it in?
You make me so horny. Ooh, rump of smooth skin, you say you wanna get my bins?
Well, use me, use me, cause you ain't that average groupie.
I seen her dancing, to hell with romancing.
She's sweat, wet, got it going like a turbo vet.
I'm tired of magazines, saying flat butts all the thing. Had the average black man and asked him that.
She got a pack much back
So fellas
Yeah
Fellas
Yeah
Your girlfriend got your butt
Healthy
Shake it
Shake it
Shake it
Shake that healthy butt
Baby got back
L.A.
With the Oakland
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A.
L.A. L.A. L.A. L.A. L.A. L.A. L.A. L.A. L.A. L.A. L.A. Pigs with the Oakland Boobies. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
L.A. Pigs with the Oakland Boobies.
I like them round and big.
And when I'm throwing a gig, I just can't help myself.
I'm acting like an animal.
Now here's my scandal.
I want to get you home and up, double up, up, up.
I ain't talking about Playboy.
The silicone parts are made for toys.
I want them real thick and juicy.
So find that juicy double.
Makes a lot in trouble.
Begging for a piece of that bubble.
So I'm looking at rock videos.
Not any bimbos walking like hoes.
You can have them bimbos.
I'll keep my women like Flojo.
A word to the thick soul sisters.
I want to get with ya.
I won't cuss or hit ya. But I gotta be straight when I say I want to.
Till the break of dawn.
Baby got it going on
A lot of simps won't like this song
Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
Cause I'm long and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So ladies, ladies
If you wanna roll my Mercedes
Then turn around, stick it out
Even white boys got the shout
Baby got back
Baby got back
Yeah, baby
When it comes to females
Cosmo ain't got nothing to do with my selection
36, 24, 36
Only if she's 5'3
So your girlfriend rolls a Honda
Playing workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you got buns, hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that hard roll
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that
Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines
You ain't it, Miss Thing
Give me a sister, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Tell him not to have tried to diss
Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit em
And I pull up quick to get with em
So ladies if the butt is round
And you want a triple X throwdown
Dial 1-900-MIX-A-LOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back
ZM Bree and Clint
The winner of Birthday Banger from Sir Mix-A-Lot
Baby got back
Baby got back
It's one of my favourite Sir Mix-A-Lot songs.
Me too.
Definitely top five.
Probably, yeah, top five.
Baby Got Back.
There you go.
Brie knows every single word.
And if you came to our Friday Yoki live last year,
you may have had the privilege of seeing her perform it live.
I apologise to everyone involved.
It's longer than you think that.
It's so long.
It's not until you're halfway through performing it you go, oh, no.
Very sweaty by the end.
In those glittery jackets we wore.
Yeah.
You can see it in baby's back.
Okay, I said before that there is a drug that scientists are saying can be used to treat a broken heart.
And it's true.
Well, according to scientists, it's true.
For it to work, you have to believe that a broken heart is a physical condition.
I'm talking about how you feel after you've had something really sad happen to you.
Yeah.
A breakup, a divorce.
Someone passing away.
Someone passing away.
Apparently, it is a real condition and it's called tachosubocardiomyopathy.
Tachosudocardiomyopathy.
What does that mean?
It's otherwise known as broken heart syndrome.
And it was first discovered in the 1990s.
So the symptoms of it are the heart's left ventricle loses function.
And it's typically caused by emotional or physical stress.
Which makes sense, doesn't it?
It's that feeling you have in your chest where you're like,
ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, this person has left me and you you described it before you said it feels like you're never going
to recover from this yeah you go to a place and it's the worst place ever where you're like i'm
never ever not going to feel like this again yeah it's horrible it's the worst feeling in the world
it's the physical part that they're talking about treating not the psychological like quite depressed
episodes that you can go into.
But I think it goes hand in hand.
It goes hand in hand, right?
You fix one, the other one starts to mend.
Did you know people have died from it before?
Have they?
In 2017, a woman in Texas got tachypsoidocardiomyopathy after the death of her dog.
She didn't die, but it was quite serious.
I can't.
That's so sad.
In 2019, a UK grandmother actually died from tachy-pseudo-cardiomyopathy.
Is it because her partner died?
No, it's because burglars broke into her house.
Oh, that's horrible.
Yeah, I know.
I'm going to break your heart with this story anyway, aren't I?
So apparently they've tested it on mice.
God, mice cop it, don't they?
Poor mice.
And they've found that the condition can be dramatically improved,
even reversed using – now, if you go to the chemist to ask for this don't use my pronunciation sub-anal hydroxamic
hydroxamic acid what there's a drug just say there's a drug for it so can you give me the
drug for the broken heart thingy can you imagine if it becomes mainstream the number of sad sad people you're going to see in doctor's surgeries just before summer you know when
everyone dumps their partner to get ready for um to get ready for beach season if they don't have
that drug yeah just get viagra will that do it same same if you um how do I say this? If you enjoy smoking the devil's lettuce, I've got a job for you.
Is that like iceberg lettuce?
No, not that one.
Comes in a bag.
Or tinfoil.
So does iceberg lettuce.
Does it?
Yeah.
Iceberg lettuce comes in a bag.
Iceberg does.
Doesn't it come as a whole cob?
It's like a head of lettuce and they shove it into a plastic bag.
Oh, yeah, okay. Well, it's not iceberg lettuce, okay whole cob? It's like a head of lettuce and they shove it into a plastic bag. Oh, yeah, okay.
Well, it's not iceberg lettuce, okay?
Gotcha.
It's marijuana.
You have to know.
A US company that specialises in the sale of cannabis vapes
are on the hunt for a full-time product tester.
Oh, this is dangerous.
They're looking for an expert to come on board
and try out all of their vaporizers.
So they want you to try all of their vapes so that customers don't have to.
You've tried them before.
Remember that one time you got tricked into it?
Oh, that's right.
You were like, pardon me?
Yeah, I thought it was a normal one.
Yeah, I thought it was shisha yeah and the guy was like nah ball
that's got cbd oil in it and i was like mate i've got to drive home and then you had to stay all
night um nah i didn't you only had one puff the person they are looking to hire will get every
vape in the store 100 free and the idea is that you use them and you tell the company,
are they any good, basically.
The successful applicant will be paid $58,500 a year.
Not bad.
Not bad, that's a full-time income.
Yeah.
And there are other perks of the job as well.
You get to work from home.
Oh, how good.
You get flexible work hours.
They don't care if you're trying out the vapes in the evening or during the day.
They don't care.
What a cruisy workplace.
And the best bit of the job, you get a $358 a month expense account.
I imagine that's to cover...
Munchies.
Munchies, yeah.
They've missed a real opportunity,
because $3.58, so close to $4.20.
Should have just made it $4.20.
Should have just made $4.20.
Should have just made it $4.20 allowance.
That's it, be done with it.
People would have been like, mean, bro.
Anyway, if you'd like to apply...
I've got no idea how you apply.
I thought it was funny.
You have to move countries, I'd say.
Oh, you have to go to America, yeah.
You shouldn't have to.
If you're working from home, you should be able to test the vapes from here in New Zealand.
They just FedEx them to you and you just try them at home.
They are illegal here.
Really good point.
Really, really, really, really good point.
The one spanner in the works.
Have you ever thought to yourself Clint As a man
I wonder what a period feels like
Yes I have
I wonder what the pain feels like
It's a weird thing that you guys will never get to experience
There's so many things that women go through
That men will never experience
Like I've been there when my wife's given birth twice
And you just have to stand back and go
Your body is unbelievable
The only thing we've got that
you guys will never relate to kick in the nuts that's about it yeah i feel like i'd take the
kick in the nuts over period pain once a month really well you never you're not getting kicked
in the nuts once a month are you oh you mean one kick in the nuts over a life of period pain is
that what you mean because i'm not trying compare, but getting kicked in the nuts is pretty bad.
Yeah, but you don't have it every single month.
Gotcha, gotcha.
That's what I'm saying.
We are guaranteed to have it, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You don't get it.
Yeah, yeah.
Imagine if you-
Oh, mate, if it was one kick in the nuts over a lifetime of period pain, I'd take the kick
in the nuts.
Imagine, though, if you guys had to line up every month to be kicked in the nuts for five
days in a row.
You would never hear the end of it.
Exactly.
You would never hear the end of it.
That's pretty much what we're doing.
Well, you know, it depends on how bad your pain is.
But a guy is delving into that world of trying to experience
or comprehend what period pain is like.
Yeah.
And he's decided he would strap himself to a period simulator who is the sadistic
person who created the period simulator um i think it's sounds like a ride that didn't get approval
at dream world it's similar to that um that machine i hooked you up to for the pain labor
pain simulator oh the tens machine it's quite similar that thing was intense yeah it made it
feel like my my guts were going to come out my butthole.
Which a lot of the time, and other women will probably agree with me on this,
period pain can feel like something's about to come out your butthole.
Yeah, it's weird.
It's like so much pressure pushing down, depending on how bad it is.
Anyway, this guy decided he'd whack this thing on,
and then he would try and cook some eggs
whilst having this period pain simulator attached to him.
Take a listen to how he dealt with this.
Oh, what?
Okay.
Okay, wait.
Wait.
It's getting worse and worse.
I'm about to cry.
I'm about to cry.
My eyes are watering.
Okay, I made an egg.
I don't know what this one was.
Right, I get the picture.
Ow.
Ow.
Why is he cooking an egg?
What did that have to do with anything?
He was just trying to see how women deal with the pain and trying to do everyday tasks.
Because you guys love eggs when you're on your period.
Is that what it is?
No, well, I don't know.
My uterine lining is shedding itself.
I feel like poached eggs.
It's common knowledge, actually.
What you couldn't see is that guy ate an entire block of chocolate after that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Downtrout it.
Yep.
And then he watched a rom-com and cried.
Such a stereotype.