ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – 22nd February 2023

Episode Date: February 22, 2023

Live from Dunedin Google Down We guess your childhood bullying nickname Bree's eventful plane ride See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. I have just noticed something. I leave for three weeks and Ella has gotten another tattoo. Show me. Another one. Yeah. Well, I actually got a... Wait, has the smiley face been there?

Yeah. Yeah, I got a little love for her. How many are you up to? Check the back of her arm as well. The other arm. Show me. That one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Wait, what's the one on this?

Hold on, turn around. It's an angel sleeping. No, that one she already had clawed before I left. Oh, really? Yeah, that one you had. Have you seen the tramp stamp? Oh, yeah, let me. See her neck?

I'm Claudia and I are going on Sunday to get another one. Are we, Claude? Yeah, absolutely. What are you getting? Not sure yet. I want to come. You should. It's a flash one.

I'll be in Sydney. Oh. Brag. You're in Sydney? Yeah. You're everywhere. I'm going to Sydney Mardi Gras, bitch. It's in Sydney.

Are you going to wear an outrageous outfit? Yep. An outrageously sequined outfit? I'm going to wear, you know what wear an outrageous outfit? Yep. An outrageously sequined outfit? I'm going to wear, you know what Doja Cat wore? That red thing? Yeah. But I'm just going to sequin my whole body. Well, that's what she did.

No, but she wore a dress. But what about this arm and stuff? But didn't she sequin her face? Is that the one you're talking about? No, but what I'm saying is I won't be wearing anything but Seek Just. You should go as that worm that Heidi Klum went as. I was thinking I could go as what Sam Smith wore. Oh, to wear.

They have worn some outrageous outfits recently. They look like a butt plug. Oh, that black one to the bathroom. That was baffling. Yeah, baffling, all right. Yeah. How hot was that performance they did, though? Yeah.

Like, where was that? You should wear the corset that they wore with the Hooters out and the little Tessels. Yeah. That's fun. I think I'd rock that. Swing them around. Swing them around. For anyone who's...

Swing them around. Helicopter. Take off. For anyone who's never been to Sydney Mardi Gras, you're missing out. What is it? Like a festival? It's the big gay parade. The big gay parade.

And it is the biggest party. It's confusing for New Zealanders because here Mardi Gras is a drum and bass festival at the snow. I'm pretty sure everywhere else around the world Mardi Gras just means party. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in Sydney, Sydney Mardi Gras just means party. But in Sydney, Sydney Mardi Gras, it's like the biggest gay party ever. And it's so fun.

I bet. It's just so much love. Well I guess it's just me and Claudia and Ella getting tattoos then. Hell yeah. We're still getting the three Rugby World Cups to represent 1997, 2011 and 2015. I would go on the record and say I'll give you five grand if you

got a tattoo. It has to be bigger than a ten cent piece. But do I get to choose what it is? No, you didn't think about that, but you want to choose what it is. You give me five grand? I have to have some say. Five grand?

Five grand is so much. There's not much I wouldn't do for five grand. And it has to be on your lower back Like a turnstamp Can I also have five grand? Courtney's like I'll do it I'll do it for five hundred I volunteer

I'll do it I start a Imagine if I get glasses and a tattoo this year Hell yeah New you And a motorbike Yeah bring back the eyebrow piercing And an eyebrow piercing Do you have a hole from it?

We've got to do like image overhaul roulette on the show. I think you should get a labret piercing. Oh yeah, like 182. Yeah. Late night, come home. Work sucks. I know. She left me roses by the stairs.

Surprises, I mean, not she cares. Say it ain't so. I will not go. Turn the lights off. Carry me. Claudia! Miss Claudia! Are you okay?

On that note, let's go to the toga party. See you guys. Bree and Clint. Bree and Clint. Tradie versus Lady. Every shitty top 40 DJ in the world is making that joke at the moment. And laughing. And they all think they're so crack up.

Part two, I didn't even hear part one. What part one? I wonder where part one went. Maybe it didn't make it to the charts. I thought it was part one. Oh, look it. This is Tradie versus Lady. I believe the score is 13 apiece.

Yeah. 13 apiece. So this means whoever wins today will take the lead. They'll take their team into the front. We'll start with our lady. She's calling in from Horowhenua. She's 36 years old, and she's good at different accents. You know we're going to get her to do one.

Welcome to the show, Rachel. Hello there, Rachel. Oh, hello her to do one. Welcome to the show, Rachel. Hello there, Rachel. Oh, hello there, bro. Welcome back. Solid from you, Rachel. It's good. It's good.

Would you rather I said, hey, from Scotland? Oh, you're from Scotland, Rachel? I could be from Scotland, or I could be from Johannesburg. Rachel will be taking on our tradie today. She's quite bored. She's got more. She can't stop. He's calling in from Christchurch.

He's 22, and he's a painter who makes R&B music. Welcome to the show, Sean. G'day, DJ Sean. Good morning. Who's the greatest R&B artist of all time? I definitely like Chris Brown. He's all good. Lance Vali's dancing with him at the moment.

Yeah, the correct answer was Usher, but that's all good. I was looking for Montel Jordan. Okay. Both of you. Both of you are going to be cancelled. All right, let's get into this before anybody loses any more credibility. Sean, your buzzer is tradie. Rachel, your buzzer is lady. Whoever gives us three answers correct first will get $50 cash from KFC.

Good luck to both of you. Here we go, guys. Question number one. What fruit turns into a pickle? Lady. Yes, Rachel. Which fruit? I was going to say cucumber, but that's a vegetable.

Okay, no F words. I will cancel this game. It was a trick question. A cucumber is a fruit. It is a fruit. Yeah. So we will accept cucumber. Are we all on board from here on out?

We're good. Let's keep playing. Come on, guys. Best behaviour. Question number two. So we will accept. Are we all above board from here on out? We're good. Let's keep playing. Come on, guys. Best behaviour. Question number two, one to the ladies. If you tipped 20% on a $15 bill, how much would the tip be? Ladies. Yes, Rachel.

$3. God. Wow, that was seriously impressive. Incredible, Rachel. And I'm normally cramp at math. Yeah. Well done. That was very impressive.

All right, Sean, you need this one if you want to stop her. Question number three. Buzz in when you can tell me who sings this song. Lady. Yes, Rachel, for the win. Amber. Well done. She's a lady.

Oh, oh, oh, she's a lady. An absolute tradie down trowel. The ladies have it. They're back in front. And, Rachel, you get $50 cash thanks to KFC. Congratulations. Thanks. Can I trade it for a pink ticket?

I think they're worth a bit more than $50, Rachel, but that's all good. Bree and Clint. Look, I'll be honest. Kids can be cruel. They really can. Can't they? So that's why I believe it is so important and so vital that when you're choosing your kid's name,

that you think of every possible rhyming word. Run it against it. Exactly. Really what you should be doing when you're thinking of naming your child is getting a focus group of children and giving the name to them. Testing it. Get the meanest kids you can find. Yep.

And just go, all right, Gavin, what have you guys got? All the bullies. You got anything for this name? Yeah. And then just see what they come up with. Yeah, yeah. You need clever ones though. Yeah.

You need the smart bullies. The smart bullies. Because they're the ones who will really get you. Yeah. Sometimes you really. You do all that research, hey, and you try and find out the right name and then you call the kid Tom and you're like, phew, got through it. And then the first day of school, Tom poos his pants

and they just call him poo-your-pants Tom for the rest of his school career. God damn it! So they pivot away from the rhyming of the name into something just blatantly just obvious. Let's call him Dump Truck. Yeah. Poor Tom. Poo your pants, Tom.

Poor old poo your pants, Tom. I read this story about this guy and he is in the process of changing his name after he says his parents have done him dirty. Okay. And have given him a name. How old is he? I think, it doesn't say. Do you think he's made it through school yet? Yeah.

It sounds like he's in his 20s, I think. Interesting to do it then. You've already been forged in the heat of battle. Like, you are surely bulletproof by the time you've left school. Well, he says it kind of still lingers around. Okay. And then he says also when he says his name, sometimes people mistake it for this other word.

Right, okay. So he's had enough. And he's changing it. He's doing something about it. Yeah, he's had enough. He's going to change it. Which, to be honest, his name is really basic. Right.

Like it's not like an unusual name. Okay. He says that his name Mitchell, when shortened, sounds like a very derogatory word that people in school named him Mitch the something. Claudia, have I got permission to say what I think it is once on the show? Can I? Can Bree and I say what we think? You can say it.

If you think it's appropriate, you go for it. No, don't put this back on me. If that's the choice you want to make, you go for it. If you think it's appropriate, you go for it. No, don't put this back on me. If that's the choice you want to make, you go for it. Alright. Is it a good life choice? We'll find out.

What's a funny thing has he come up with? Ready? Mitch the snitch. I knew you were going to go with snitch. Good choice. Which,

that could also be like not great. Mitch is a snitch. You know, any chanting. Mitch the snitch. Mitch the snitch. Mitch the snitch. Like anything where you can chant it, like kids will just jump on that straight away,

you know? Yeah. It's because anything that rhymes. Mitch the snitch, which makes him a that. A witch. Yes. Mitch the witch, whose mum is a. Lichtenstein.

We all know what Mitchell's name has been shortened and rhymed with. He said he's had enough, he's changing it, and we wanted to know... Wait, does that make him a bit of a... I mean... He can't hack it anymore. He's given in. Does that make him a bit of a... Apparently, he's changing his name to Nick, which I don't think he's thought that through.

Yeah. Look, I thought we could ask, because this is a very common thing. Yeah. Where people, kids mainly, like to rhyme your name with stuff. Yeah. And it tormented you through school

because your name rhymes with something. We want to celebrate the bullying you received at school this afternoon. Let's take the power back. Yeah. And have a bit of a laugh with it. That's what we're going to do. You tell us your name. Yes.

Brie and I are going to try and guess what people rhymed your name with at school. Okay? Oh, this could be so bad. So just call us and tell us the name. That's it. And we'll see if we can figure the rest out. Basically, Brie and I are going to see how good we are as bullies. Yeah, see if we can

go back to our schooling days. We're trying to figure out what your name rhymed with and what kids bullied you with simply because your name rhymed with that. We're taking the power back this afternoon. Exactly right. We are not encouraging bullying. We're taking it off the bullies and being like, yeah, it rhymes with that.

So what? Like this poor woman who texted and said my sister's name was Ash. She got Ash Bash Bum Rash at school. Oh, that's so horrible. What about Sean? Kids used to call me Sean watching porn on the lawn eating popcorn. Lol. My name is Maria.

Kids rhymed my name with diarrhea. Oh, Maria. Maria diarrhea. Maria diarrhea. It's pretty good. Kids are horrible, eh? Don't do this, by the way. No, it's not nice.

This is what you shouldn't do. Not a rhyme, but my name is Alice and I hit puberty early. Kids always sing Alice the Camel Has Two Humps to Me. What? Oh! Poor Alice. And now it's something that is, you know, everyone wants. We're going to try and guess what yours was this afternoon.

You just give us the name. We'll try and figure it out. We're going to start with Vicky Lee. Hi, Vicky Lee. Hi, Vicky Lee. Hi. Vicky Lee. So people rhymed your name with something to bully you when you were at school.

They did. It has a third factor. So at times they'd include my last name if they were feeling extra zealous. Okay. So in primary school, my maiden name was Burrows. So Vicky Lee Burrows. Vicky Lee Burrows. Sticky wee.

Sticky wee. Sticky wee. Follows. Follows. Oh, no. No, I won't say that. Is it that though? Is it sticky wee? Did it Sticky Wee?

Did we get that part? Yeah, it was either Sticky Wees or Stinky Wees. Stinky Wees. Vicky Lee Stinky Wees. Yeah, and then what does Burrows go with? Bumrose. That's such a kid thing, Bumrose. That was not even clever.

They've just tried to find it in any way they could, right? It's not even good. What's your new last name, Vicky Lee? Doherty. Oh, Doherty. Try rhyming that. That was a prerequisite when Vicky Lee was picking her husband, eh? She's like, can't rhyme with anything.

Can't rhyme with anything. I've already copped enough. There were potentials and I had to cross them off because they were just, it was too easy. Yes, Vicky. Let's go to Steph. Hi, Steph. Hi, Steph. Hi, Steph. Hello, how are you?

Yeah, we're good. I'm struggling to think what Steph would be rhymed with. Steph likes meth. Steph on the meth. Steph on the meth. Is that what it was, Steph? No, so I quite often got called Steffy as well. Oh, Steffy.

Oh, Steffy. Steffy. Steffy's got a Steffy. Steffy's got a Steffy. I thought that was hilarious. Yeah, everything Steffy related is hilarious to a boy in high school. Oh, so funny. Yeah.

Anything to do with Stiffys. Poor Stiff. We apologise, Stiff. Not cool. Let's talk to Luke. Hi, Luke. Hi, Luke. Hi, guys.

Yours is pretty straightforward, I reckon. Bree reckons she's cracked this straight away, right? Luke. Yeah, pretty easy. Puke. Luke, puke. Yeah pretty straightforward, I reckon. Bree reckons she's crackless straight away, right? Luke. Yeah, pretty easy. Puke. Luke, puke. Yeah, that's the one. Pukey, Lukey.

Pukey, Lukey. Lukey, Pukey, yeah. Lukey, Pukey. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, not even original from the kids at your school, Luke. Nah, not back in the 90s, nah. Yeah, pretty.

Someone's texting, they said, my name's Eden. I got Eden Peden her pants. Yeah. Someone's texting. They said, my name's Eden. I got Eden Peden her pants. Oh. Wait, wait. What about this one? My mum's maiden name was Oblenus. Have a guess what they rhymed it with. Oblenus, I think it is.

Oblenus. What about this one? My name is Matoris. I can. Matoris? Yeah. Matoris. Matoris. Matoris? Matoris. As a guy whose name is... They could never find him or her.

He was always missing. I used to get Clint... Clintoris. Yeah. Well, I wasn't going to say that. Sounds like a dinosaur. Doesn't it, Jess? Thanks, Luke. Let's get Jodie on. Hi, Jodie. Hi, Jodie. Hey, how are you? Bree reckons she's figured you out. I can't figure it out.

I've nailed Jodie's, I reckon. The note that we've got about Jodie's one is it's a little bit rude. I know what it is. So you reckon, and you reckon you've got it, and it's a little bit rude? I don't know if I should say it. All right, well, sorry to open an old wound here, Jodie, but was it? I don't know if I should say it. Well, Claude's put it down.

It must be okay. Jodie. Jodie Grody. Jodie Grody? okay. Jodie. Jodie Grody. Jodie Grody? Jodie Scody. Jodie Chodie. Oh. It is Chodie.

I knew it. Jodie. Kids are so predictable. Jodie Chodie. Yeah, well, I mean, unfortunately, it was a teacher that gave it to me. No. Yeah. That's so inappropriate.

That's so inappropriate. That's so inappropriate. It was accidental. It was quite a thick accent and the J came off as like a VH. Oh, okay. Oh, no. Oh, Chody. Oh, Chody. Chody.

Oh, Chody. Is Chody here? Chody? Scody Chody. Yeah, we haven't had a baby for a week. Poor Joe. Scody Chody Scody Chody Your whole life And now two stupid radio hosts Are dredging it back up on national radio

It's not fair is it It's not fair Chody is it My friends call me Chody and my partner Funny when you're an adult I bet your partner wouldn't like you calling him Chody though Would he I mean it would be a bit ironic She's a she

Oh, okay Yes, Chody Fair enough Rude of me to presume I apologise, Chody Yeah, you apologise to Chody I'm very, very sorry I'm sorry for that, but not sorry for the Chody bit

Thanks for calling, Chody What? ZM Bree and Clint. We heard if we ever broke up. What? ZM Bree and Clint. That's Mae Stevens. It's called If We Ever Broke Up. What are you screaming about? Sorry.

I just heard this kid that we were just filming a birthday message for. He got a PS5. What? For his 11th birthday. A PS5 and a personalised video from ZM superstars Bree and Clint. Jealous. What a birthday. I know. By the way, video from ZM superstars Brie and Clint. Jealous. What a birthday. I know. By the way, was that a cameo, that video?

Are we on cameo? Are you? How much would you charge for a video on cameo? I'd pay people to ask for a video. Please can I do a video for your birthday? I'll pay you $15 if you want a video for me. I always, cameo's the side A. Cameo. So cameo,

if you don't know, you go on the website and there are a bunch of celebs on there and they set their own price and you can say, it's my brother's birthday. He's turning this age. He's a big NRL fan.

This is his name. And he loves, he loves cars too. Ruby too, he's on there. Yeah. Yeah. I always find it a bit grim

when the person's price is like. Real low. $10. Maybe they just don't feel good about charging people heaps of money. You know, that's true. You know? That's true. Like some people on there are charging, you know, $400.

I know. Isn't that insane? A one minute video. Carson Kressley was on there. Who? Carson Kressley. From Queer Eye Yeah the original

Right Yeah How much for him? I think he was about 400 Because he's still relevant Because he's on RuPaul's Drag Race Yeah So he can

Well I mean For $400 I want more than just a message I want like I want you to show me a part of your house that no one else has seen. Yeah, like a bidet or something Yeah, yeah, yeah I want to accompany

you on your morning walk. I saw in your Instagram story the other day you've got a bidet. Yeah Can I come over and use it? So the bidet I really want, remember when we tried to search for one that I could use and now you've got one and to search for one that I could use? Yeah.

And now you've got one. Can. And I've got something that I could use it with. Your bottom? Yes. So we moved house last year and the house actually has two bidets. Fancy. That must be European. The new house has two bidets.

I don't know why you would have two bidets. You obviously just clearly love bideting. The issue we've got is I've got little kids and my daughter Maggie. They think it's a fountain. They think it's a fountain. So she goes over and lifts the tap up and then the water shoots out quite far. So it was spraying like right across the other side of the bathroom. So I've actually had to go around and like cable tie off the bidets so that they can't be turned on.

So yes, you're welcome to come around and be the first person to use our bidet. Yeah, I'd really like to use it and then we can film it. Yeah. And I can give my review on how good your bidet is. We could start a bidet only fans page. Yeah, see that's good content. We've found our niche.

We've finally found our niche. I went to someone's house the other day, did I tell you this, and they had a urinal in their house. See, that is living. So you never have the problem of toilet seat up and down. Why have we never installed urinals in domestic houses? Probably because they're gross. That would solve so many marital issues.

They're gross. Are they? Yeah. But I mean, it does solve a lot of issues. A toilet is just a urinal at 90 degrees. It's just a urinal. A toilet is just a urinal that's harder to aim at. Well, I wouldn't know.

Yeah, exactly right. I wouldn't know. Do you have to put the cakes in, the ones on the wall? Well, you would anyway. You would, eh? Yeah, yeah. And the little stickers that you pee on and they change colour. Mate, you got two bidets, why not add in a urinal?

Bree and Clint. Time for the latest. From iHeartRadio, this is The Latest. Did you see S Club 7 have reunited? I saw this story, was it last week? Yeah. And there was the photo going around of them and what's the girl that everyone was talking about and they were like, she looks like she's 19. Tina.

She's going backwards in age. Yeah, yeah. They've all aged normally. Like, they look like people in their late 30s, early 40s. Rachel's still the hottest. She looks 19. You reckon Rachel's hotter than... Rachel was always the hottest.

Well, Jo, she's got the flow. Yes, Jo, she got the flow. What did Paul have? Oh, you know. What he had crabs, I think. Well, S Club. They've begun their reunion performances and fans have been left utterly disappointed at the first gig when only one of them took the stage.

S1. S1. Why did only one of them took the stage. S1. S1. Why did only one take the stage? So it's quite complicated. They booked, I guess S Club 7 work on like a booking thing, and they booked two of them to perform at an intimate 150-person party. Right. So S Club 2.

Yeah. But they only got S Club 1. Only one of them showed up to do it. Tina and Bradley were booked to perform and only Bradley showed up. Oh, Tina.

Everyone's saying how hot she is and she's like, I deserve better than this. Yeah, maybe she's already fighting back. I don't know. But can you imagine

how disappointing an S Club 7 show would be with just one person? Well, I went to an S Club 3 show, remember, a few years ago? That's right. That event, what was it called? So Pop. Yeah.

And we turned up and they called them S Club 3. Was it any good? It was all right. Bewitched, they played, but they only had one person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, you know who was fire? Oh, um, uh, uh, I-465? No, they weren't too bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, you know who was fire? Oh, um, uh, uh, I-465? No, they weren't too bad.

Yeah. Um, but it was the Vengaboys. All of them were there and it was a hot set. The cowboy? The cowboy. Both cowboys? Were there two cowboys and the Vengaboys? They all wear chaps.

Yeah. They were awesome. Well, anyway, S Club 7 off to a bad Yeah. They were awesome. Well, anyway, East Club 7 off to a bad start. Oh, no. If you were getting your hopes up for a rocking East Club 7 reunion. I was, actually. Bree and Clint. When did you throw up or did you see someone throw up

and was it in not a very good situation? A lady on my flight today threw up for the entire thing and it was a very small plane and it was pretty much the only thing that people could hear it was so loud i felt so bad for her like oh nothing no no domino effect no one else on the plane started going not that i could hear yeah i think i think everyone was okay because it wasn't it wasn't bad turbulence but maybe she just has really bad motion sickness. Yeah. I felt horrible.

Who knows? She might have had a bad curry. Yeah, well, yeah, she could have. Let's go to Susan on the phone. Susan, who spewed and where? Hello. Hi. Hello.

Tell us what happened, Susan. So I was in London with my husband, and we went to watch a ballet play in the hoya overt hole in london and as we were there sitting the silence everybody was watching the play and all of a sudden they would keep here to sell like i was like oh my goodness and i looked at my husband i was too scared to look it was just basically behind me and and then the sound kind of carry on and you can imagine inside the theater the silence everybody start looking and when we looked it was the guy behind us who actually did and the guy the guy behind that's not the one behind us the one behind us, the one behind him. Right. It was all covered. So the one behind him vomited all over the place.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. No. So the guy two seats behind you spewed on the guy in front of him. Yeah, it was the one behind me. Oh. Not the ballet experience you expect, is it? No. You expect a classy occasion.

No, I just felt lucky we weren't sitting in that room. Oh my God. You were so close to disaster. It was a 3D ballet where it was really, really real. Yeah. I bet, Susan, that's horrible.

Thanks, Susan. Nothing worse than someone else throwing up on you. Someone texts through and they said, my friend spewed on the Ferris wheel and we were stuck at the top. It landed on people. We've got Nikki. That's Nikki.

Oh, is it? Nikki, that's your friend who spewed at the top of the Ferris wheel. Yes. And it was disgusting. How many people do you reckon it hit? Maybe like two or three, but you could see it from the top, like all these purple specks because she just had a raspberry fanta. You could see it all over the grass.

Oh, Nicky. Oh, Nicky. You'd be sitting at the bottom of the sphere, so you're going, oh, it's raining. What's the, oh, why is it that? Oh, why is it purple? Oh, why is it chunky? It doesn't smell like rain. Was she sick?

Was she sick from the height? Or why was she sick? Was it motion from the Ferris wheel? She'd just been on like one of those really fast, like the octopus ride and then went on the Ferris wheel. And it just, yeah. She was having too much fun, wasn't she? Yes. Your poor friend.

That's so horrible. Thanks, Nikki. We appreciate the call. Someone texted her and they said, when I was in year eight, we went on an end-of-year trip to Rainbow's End from Hamilton, and I'd never been on a roller coaster before, and I was scared, but I did it nine times in a row.

I got back on the bus to go to Hamilton and had my crush sitting opposite me. Worst headache ever and I spewed three times. I think that blew my chances with him. Let's get Rosie on. Hi Rosie. Hi Rosie. Oh hi. Who spewed Rosie and where? It was me, and it was on an aeroplane as well. Oh, no. Was it bad turbulence, Rosie? No, no. It was all smooth.

So it just came on really suddenly. I was a bit hungover from the night before. Oh, okay. I was making my way home, and I was unfortunately in the window seat, so there were two people next to me, and I was like, oh, my God, I need a puke. Get someone. Oh, no.

Was there no bag? Was there a bag? No, no, no. I looked. I was, like, frantic, and then I was like, oh, no, it's coming, it's coming. I was wearing a scarf, and I managed to catch it in that. And then I just had to hold on to it. Oh, that's rock bottom, Rosie.

And pop it in the bin as I got off the plane. Oh, that is rock bottom for you. And I really just hope they didn't smell the alcohol. Yeah, I reckon they would have been smelling the spew that would have covered up the alcohol. Hey, Rosie, it could be worse. This could have happened to you, very similar to your situation. I was sick on a flight three weeks ago.

When we were taxiing to take off, I ended up spewing into the sick bag. Someone had ripped open the bottom of the bag and it ended up spewing all over my lap, the seat and the floor. Oh, yeah. My friend Catherine will hate me telling this story, but she went to the hairdresser hungover once and started spewing, so they gave her a bowl to spew in, and she kind of had her face down in the bowl. Are they still doing her highlights? And they cut her hair around.

Well, her face was in the bowl. They cut her hair around. No, they did not. That's one way to hold someone's hair back, isn't it? Bree and Clint. Google, are you down, down, down, down, down, down, down? What the hell? I think Google's actually...

What's been happening with Google Down since I've been away? We haven't been playing. You're in charge of Google Down. Oh, good. Well, it's back. We can't Google Down without our HBIC. Thank you, mate. Appreciate that.

HGBIC. He'd Google B in charge. Yes. I want that on a plaque on my desk, please. If you want to win 50 KFC chicken dollars, here's how you can do it. You can text 9696 the name of the person here at the Bree and Clint show you think is going to take out the game of Google Down this afternoon. It's either Clint, Producer Ella, or Producer Claudia,

and I'll give you a hot tip. It's usually Producer Claude. I'll give you some inside scoop, though. Yeah. Bree, Ella, and I are in the same room in Dunedin right now. Claude is playing by proxy from the Auckland studios. That's a very good point. I feel like that's in my advantage though.

Do you? I've got no distractions. Do you? Yeah. Well, we could just pretend that we don't hear you. Oh, what? In that. You wouldn't do that though.

I wouldn't do that to you, Claude. Well, look, if it's some kind of competitive advantage over Super Claude, we've got to do what we've got to do. I've got some advantage for you. I got a text just before saying I've reached my data cap, but so far it's still working. Oh, my God. I reached my data cap today, too.

Twinning. Fun. Too much TikTok. All right, let's do this, Brie. All right, here we go. Question number one. Here's how it works. I'll ask the questions.

You buzz in with the... Why are you getting close to the answers? Oh, I'm not. Oh, you didn't come around here. Ella was moving closer and closer to the laptop. I was like, why are you coming around here? Oh, she wants a microphone. Yeah, you probably need that, eh?

I'm going to ask you a question, the exact question that I've put into Google. First person to yell out the most common answer that comes up for that question receives a point. First to three will take out the game. Got it. Question number one.

Here we go. What is Harry Styles' net worth in 2023? Coming to the country very soon. 100,000. Million pounds. 100 million pounds. What did you say, Claude? I also said 100 million pounds. I'm going to take Claude. No, Claude, you said 100, pounds. 100 million pounds. What did you say, Claude? I also said 100 million pounds.

I'm going to take Claude. No, Claude, you said 100,000. No, I said 100 million pounds. That was Ella. Ella said 100,000 million pounds. That's a lot of pounds. I heard Harry in panic. Just think about how many pounds she wants to give Harry.

That is one to producer Claude. Here comes question number two. How long do butterflies live for? How long? I'm going to guess eight days. 29 days. Nice work, Clint. I'll take that. 29 days. I would have

accepted Claude's answer, but Clint got in first. 15 to 29 days is the most common answer. Isn't that sad? I know. But beautiful. We stopped growing swan plants at our house because our cats were eating all the monarch butterflies.

Might as well just let them. The butterfly's going to die anyway. Well, that's the spirit, Clint. No wonder you always see butterflies living it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, YOLO. You know, just I'm going to live while I can. All right. Hey, this could all be over tomorrow, bro.

Literally. Haven't you heard? We only live for 15 days. Hurry up. What are you going to do when you grow up, bro? I don't know. But that was so annoying. I was a caterpillar and then I had to spend ages in a cocoon and now I only get 15 days

as a butterfly. All that work. God. Alright. Whoa. Wish I was a moth. Moths live for way longer, I've heard. Yeah, but people hate moths. Okay, come on, come on.

One to Claude, one to Cliff. Ella wants to win, come on. Question number three. Moths live for up to to Cliff. Ella wants to win. Come on. Question number three. Moths live for up to 90 days. But then people hate them. What would you rather? O to be a moth. O to be a moth.

No one likes a moth, though. No. They put all that dust stuff on people. How many active volcanoes are there in New Zealand? How many active volcanoes are there? Nice, Claudia. Good from you, my friend. The answer that comes up for that question on Google is nine,

which brings Claudia to two. I declare all the moth data. Clint won. And producer Ella still yet to be on the board. Question number four. Who invented the sodaodaStream? Who invented Guy Q. Gilby?

I'm going to take it from producer Ella. She started it and she was clear, succinct. Claudia, you were close though. I'll take it. Alright, that makes it one to Clint, one to Ella, two to Claude. Here comes

question number five. Come on Ella, it's you and me. to Ella, two to Claude. Here comes question number five. Come on, Ella. It's you and me. We've got to take it down. In feet, how tall is the statue of David? In feet. 17. Nice work, Clint.

It is 17. Nice. That was invigorating. Get in. And I got a picture of this little willy as well. 17. Nice. That was invigorating. Get in. And I got a picture of this little willy as well. Bonus. Nice. Yeah, David's willy's pretty little, isn't it? Show me. Oh, David's.

I've cleared it. I'll show you a replica. Oh my gosh. God, I haven't looked at that for a while. It's little A. One part's bigger than the other part. True. All right, two to Clint, two to Claude.

Me bragging over here that I've got a bigger one than the statue of David. All right, all right, all right. He's 17 feet tall, so. True. Everything looks small on a 17-foot man. Question number six. What year did Apple release the first iPhone? 2006. 2007.

2000. Claudia has said 2007. Was that a guess, Claude? No, I Googled that. She's nailed it. I was so close. Mine was a guess. Mine was a guess.

You're best to go for a guess on that one, but she can't be beat. Producer Claude takes it out. All right, we'll find someone from the text machine who bit on Claudia. Hey, Claudia, congratulations, babes. We're so happy for you. You guys are so kind. Thank you so much. We're honestly so happy for you. Yeah, I can hear it in your voice. I can just feel the sincerity in the room.

It's live from Dunedin, the show, today. Yes, it is. Yeah, so it's extra smooth. Dunedin, and everything is extra crisp. It's epicrisp crisp. Shit. What? It's my birthday.

It's my birthday. Free and clean. Birthday banger. God, we haven't even hit the toga party yet. No, this is before. This is pre-toga party. We're here for Ori 23 at Otago University, and it's time for a birthday banger.

That's right. You call us up, tell us your birthday, and we figure out what was the number one song that was on the charts for your 16th, and we'll play one of those songs in full. Okay, who are we starting off with today, Bree? Jackie. G'day, Jackie.

Oh, g'day, guys. How are you, my friend? I'm good, thank you. Good to hear you guys. Oh, good to hear you. Thanks for calling through. Let's do your birthday banger. What's your birthday?

27th of August, 1983. I've got a good feeling for you, Jackie. You were 16 in 1999, and here it is, your birthday banger. I knew it! You knew it? You knew it was going to be five? I know, You knew it was going to be five. I know. I knew it was going to be a banger.

Oh. Yeah. Right. I was like, you're getting really good at this if you can. Are you picking up what I'm putting down? What do you reckon? Is that a good birthday banger for you? Absolutely not.

Oh. No way. You hate it, Jackie. Tell us why. I probably liked it then, but now, oh, no way. No, you're hoping for something else. Okay, we appreciate your honesty. Thank you.

Wait there. We're going to get a birthday banger on for Richard. Kia ora, Richard. Welcome to the show. G'day, Richard. Hey, how's it going? Good, thanks. How's your hump day going, Rich?

Oh, not bad, not bad. Day off tomorrow, so I have a few busies tonight. You know how it is. I like your style. Nothing like a mid-weeker, Richard. Can we call you Dick? Uh, sure, why not? Alright, Dick, let's do this thing. What's your date of birth? Uh, 1st of

February, 1987. Alright, mate. You're my birthday twin. Oh, yeah. Richard, Richard, you and I are born on the exact same day In the exact same year I was born in the UK So you're probably still a day ahead of me Oh Interesting, whereabouts in the UK Richard?

Peterborough Oh yeah, you know Peterborough Love it, it's my favourite borough Okay, let's do your birthday banger Alright, you were 16 in 2003 Richard Oh, yeah. You know Peter Burra. Love it. It's my favourite Burra. Okay, let's do your birthday banger. All right, you were 16 in 2003, Richard. And on that day, this would have been number one. Banger!

Oh, the classic. Such a tune. Big brothers. Were they Inspector Rejects or Idol Rejects? Big brothers? Or was that Liberty X? That was Liberty X, wasn't it? Liberty X. I love Liberty X.

What do you think, Richard? Oh, I love it. I love it. I like it too. My birthday twin. I can't get it. It's rare that you meet your birthday twin. It is.

Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of people with the same birthday as you. Where are they? Out there in the world. Oh, Dick and Clint could be best friends for life. Okay, wait there. You could win. Oh, wait. He's Dick and you're...

It's a birthday banger for Sheila. Kia ora, Sheila. Hi, Sheila. Hi there. How are you going, mate? Good, thank you. What are you feeling you're going to get for your birthday banger, Sheila? What would you like to get?

Probably a vintage classic. A vintage classic? Right. Well, that depends how old you are, to be honest. It depends if you are vintage. Well, I feel it. 1985. 1985?

Okay, good vintage. That's a great, great year. Yeah. It's a great year. Sheila, you were 16 in 2001. And on the 4th of October, 2001, your 16th birthday, this was number one. Faggot. Crazy Town.

God, there's three Ritz snorters today. They're all good, those songs. What do you reckon, Sheila? You like a bit of Crazy Town, Butterfly? I do. What a great song. Who doesn't? This is really hard because I don't want to go against my new best friend, Richard, my birthday brother.

Because really, that's my birthday banger as well. Yeah. Isn't it? It's not just his. It's my birthday banger. Yeah, you've got the same birthday banger. But I can't vote against Crazy Town Butterfly, so I have to go with Sheila as my vote. That's just my vote.

I'm going with Big Dick. I'm going New Flow, Big Brothers. You're going to vote for my birthday banger? I'm going Big Brothers. Okay, Big Brothers for Big Dick, which means we go to a live in-studio split vote. Ella, you can choose between five, Big Brothers, and Crazy Town. What's it going to be? I'll go to Breeze Mike. what's it gonna be um i'll go to breeze mike it's gonna be crazy town that's the one that means sheila you've taken it out you're the

birthday banger champion well done here you go a vintage banger for sheila from 2001 b Bree and Clint, ZM. Bree and Clint. ZM, Bree and Clint. Winner of Birthday Banger from 2001 is Crazy Town Butterfly. I was just bragging to Bree that I used to know the whole rap to that song. Oh, let's hear it. And I had an eyebrow piercing at the same time bragging to Bree that I used to know the whole rap to that song. Go on, let's hear it. And I had an eyebrow piercing at the same time.

No, I said you used to know. Oh, well, let's see if it comes back to you. Such a sexy, sexy, pretty little... No, let's stop. You walked right into that one. No. Got him. I feel my eyebrow piercing's opening up again.

Yeah, I feel like it is too. I think it's coming back. Yeah, I feel like that arm tat that you were going to get is kind of showing up. The tribal spiky design. Yeah. Would have aged well on you, I reckon. Yeah, I reckon too. Hey, I want to read this out to you and you see if you can guess what this is, okay? So a man has been left outraged after discovering his wife has been using something of his behind his back.

His razor. Oh, because a lot of women like to pick up. She's been using his face razor to shave her back. How are you meant to shave your own back? You put it on a stick. Oh, that's dangerous. I say that like it's a normal thing to do her back. How are you meant to shave your own back? You put it on a stick. Oh, that's dangerous. I say that like it's a normal thing to do. Yeah.

Not razor? Not razor. Not razor. Not razor. Man has been left outraged after finding his wife has been using... Has been using what behind his back? So it's his item?

Yes. I'm trying to think of anything that I'd be grossed out if my wife used it. Bar of soap? No, we share a bar of soap. Oh. Oh, no, that's off to me. No, we've had this conversation.

I mean, for your wife, not for you. Because, I mean, you're blessed. I've told you how to use the soap. You rub it on your hands, not your body. Your wife has used it? Oh, no. Is it one of those weird? These used to pop up in my TikTok feed a lot.

Have you seen the reusable ear cleaners that they sell? You know how people use a cotton bud and then they throw it away? Oh, the ones that wear a twist. It's got like a little twist spiral on it. Oh, that's awesome. Which have to be bad for your ear. Yeah. Is it one of those?

No, not one of those. You're going to be so like, oh, of course. Undies. No. Cricket box. A man has been left outraged after discovering his wife has been using his toothbrush behind his back. On purpose or by accident? Apparently, when he confronted his wife, she said she uses his toothbrush from time to time, either by accident or when she forgot hers on a trip away.

Yeah. He claims that this is revolting because he doesn't want to rub her plaque onto his teeth before bed at night. Grow up, man. You literally put your lips on her lips and share saliva. So he says that she's like, I don't get it. It's no different to kissing me. But he disagrees and says it is on every level of consciousness different. Look, I'm not advocating for a one toothbrush household, but I wouldn't be grossed out.

Do you use your wife's toothbrush? Not on purpose. Does she know? No. Oh, no. Oh, she would not appreciate that, I don't reckon. I reckon I've accidentally used it two or three times in the space of our relationship. In the last week.

And I definitely didn't tell her. But I wouldn't be grossed out by it. Would you? Yeah, look, I don't think I'd like it to be a regular thing. No. I'm not going to, like, blow up about it if it's, you know. If my partner's forgotten a toothbrush on a trip and, you know, and mine gets used, I'm not going to be super upset about it.

But if it's, like, a constant thing, maybe not. We have a new intern here at ZM whose name is also Ella, who confessed to us last week that her flatmate used her toothbrush. See, that's off. Yeah, that's off. That's off. That's off. That's not good.

I reckon anyone outside your partner, it's weird, eh? It's weird how you've gone, you're the person I share mouth juice with, so that's cool. And so you're fine with them? I can't think of anybody else I'd be fine with. I've got a confession. Okay. I've got a confession. Okay. I've got a confession to make.

I know it's not my toothbrush because you and I have never shared a room. No, we haven't. Should I tell this story? Look, it was a long time ago. Yeah. And back in the day, I may have ended up having a good time and I went back to a person's place. Yeah.

Wasn't planned. Yeah. Right? You didn't have a toothbrush at this person's house. But obviously I had nothing with me. I had no toothbrush. I had nothing. Did I use a mystery toothbrush?

Oh, okay. Because it was like a flatting situation. It was flat. I didn't know. That's off, isn't it? Yeah, a bit. Yeah, but would you do it? You would have done the same thing.

Because then the flat mates, the flatties are going to be like, they get up and they've got a wet toothbrush. And they're like, who used my toothbrush? And then everyone else says it wasn't me. And they go, oh, it must have been that chick that you brought home last night. You would have done the same. No, in that situation, don't you just rub a bit of toothpaste on the gums? No, no.

You do a finger brush? No. Don't you do a finger brush? Finger brush is not good. If you've been sinking beverages all night, you've got like this film on your teeth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like sugary drinks. It's yuck.

And then in the morning they're like, should we go out for breakfast? breakfast and you're like all i've got is my town dress and furry teeth yeah i reckon i'll just go home someone just texts through and they said brie i think we've all done that at one point yes thank you the mystery toothbrush the mystery toothbrush look i'm also i mean now you've opened the floodgates have i used a mystery razor in that situation? Oh. Yeah. Wow, you do a bit of panel beating before you go into. Well, see, if it's not planned. You go home with someone and Brie's like,

I just need to use the bathroom. 45 minutes later, she comes out looking like a different person. Well, remember that time? Yeah, I remember the time. And I ended up using the soap. It was medicated dog wash. Yes, it was. It stunk. I smelt like a medicated dog.

Whoa. Would you say you're a punny guy? Nah. You're not a fan of the pun? Nah. I'll hit a good dad joke, but I don't pride myself on puns. I feel like I'm not smart enough to come up with puns quickly. I've got a really quick dad joke if you want to.

I hit it the other day. Go on. What do you call a woman who's really good at darts? What? Amy. I don't get it. Amy. Amy.

Amy. Aim, darts. Amy. Amy. Darts Amy Amy Oh yeah Nah come on Come on I think I've got a better one You want to hear it

Yeah yeah yeah I told my mum the other day That I now drive a car Made out of spaghetti Oh yeah You should have seen a face When I drove pasta Yes

That's good gear That's good gear. That's good gear. The reason I ask is I saw this story about a comedian named Lee Brace. That's his real name. Lee Brace. Lee Brace. What's funny about Lee Brace? I don't know.

Lee Brace. Sounds like knee brace. Oh, yeah. Okay, I got you know. Libre. Sounds like knee brace. Oh, yeah. I got you now. Yeah. Anyway, he has won the UK Pun Championships. Right. That's a thing?

That's a thing. It's a real competition. And he has been crowned the UK's Punniest Performer. UK's Punniest Performer. Yeah. Punniest Performer. Okay. The biggest cheese dog in the UK.

Yeah. All right. Anyway, he has won the title and he's released what he thought were his top four punniest jokes at the event. And I thought I could read them out to you guys. And it's a thumbs up or thumbs down. Yeah. Are you guys ready? Thumbs up, good punny joke.

Yes, thumbs down. Thumbs down, average. Okay, yeah. Okay, first one. This is from Lee Brace, punniest performer. When I was a kid, my mum used to run a dating site for chickens. She did whatever she could to make hens meet. I like it.

That's good for me. I like it. That's good. Okay, here's another one. No, that's a lesbian chicken dating service. If it's only the hens that are meeting. Oh, even better. Isn't it?

Saucy. To make hens meet. He's obviously a family comedian because it would have been very easy to go for a cock joke in that one, wouldn't it? Could have been, yeah. Wouldn't it? Yeah. But no, it kept it above board. Okay, yep, we'll give him a pass on that.

All right, next one. One of the other jokes he used was this. I've just applied for a job as a waiter. Well, someone has to put food on the table. Oh, I don't like it. It's average. It's clunky. It's clunky, yeah.

Listen to us, like, we're comedians. Yeah. It just wasn't as good as the hens joke. Yeah. Okay. I feel like it, yeah. No, I won't critique it too much. He's the greatest punster in the world.

It's a thumbs down for us. But it's a thumbs down on that one, yeah. Okay, next one. For Christmas, I bought my... Maybe it's a delivery. Maybe it was your fault. Could be. I'm not that good at the delivery.

Okay, let me try and put a bit more effort in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For Christmas, I bought my girlfriend a book about hypochondria. Well, what do you buy the woman who has everything? Well, first of all, what do you buy the person who has everything? Because she's a hypochondriac. Oh, so she thinks she has everything. Oh, no.

What do you buy the woman who believes she has everything? Would that be better? Would that be... A book. Oh, look, we're not going to make these... Oh, yeah, we're not. It's not our job. He's one from three for us.

He's one from three. I think he might save it with this one. I feel like I've saved the best for last. All right, this is it. Here we go. The greatest pun in the UK. I took my Spanish friend for a picnic at the weekend. He said, gracias.

I said, yeah, I should have bought a blanket. Gracias. He said gracias. I said, yeah, I should have bought a blanket. Gracias. It's good. It's good. We like it, Lee Brace. We like it. Hey, that's the end of the show, everybody. Brie and I have got to get out of here, because we're heading to a toga party.

Yeah, and we have to go pre-drink, because that's what you do when you're at uni. Responsibly, of course. Responsibly. And when I say pre-drink, two drinks. Of water. Of water. That's right.

We're hitting Ori 23 at the Otago University. By the way, can you do a Bondi Sands Express tan on me before we go? I just need you to do my body at a 90 degree angle, just the bit that's going to be sticking out of the toga. It does need time to develop, so you might be on your own. Right. Just leave it on.

I actually do have something. Just leave it on. I'll get hotter as the night progresses. Well, that's what happens. Yeah, you get hotter and hotter. Thanks for listening, I think. Is that what you say at the end of a radio show? God, it's been a long day.

We're in Dunedin. We'll be back home in Auckland tomorrow. That doesn't matter to you, though, does it? No, it doesn't. They don't care. God, it's been a long day. We're in Dunedin. We'll be back home in Auckland tomorrow. That doesn't matter to you though, does it? No, it doesn't. They don't care. So let's just get out of here. Thanks for joining us. We'll see you tomorrow.

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