ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM’s Bree & Clint Podcast - 25th August 2025
Episode Date: August 25, 2025Producer Claud has been challenged... Private Parts Song (Remix). The return of Kid or Kidding. "The Bali Curse". See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....
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ZM's Brie and Clint Podcast
It's our radio show
But wrapped up in a neat little package
Just for you
It's ZM's Brie and Clint podcast
Watch the new season of the Guilded Age
Streaming now on HBO Max
Available on Neon
Go! Let's go
I think I met you in a dream last one
Dead Am's Brie and Clint
Not sure if you guys
Listen to the news before our show starts
But um
Brie was
and she's just volunteered
because the police need more training and arresting people
she's just volunteered as tribute
if the police want to practice they're arresting
she said do it on me
I just said I'm available
willing, ready
I can get myself to and from a police station
mainly available in the mornings
let me know
willing and ready to be arrested
what about the detained part
are you prepared to be detained
depends which cops are detaining me
until they process
Can I pick and choose my cops?
Now, detained is more just they put you in the cell
until they do your paperwork.
They don't hang out.
No, I don't think there's a lot of hanging out.
No, no.
You get to hang out with the other detainees.
Oh, I'll skip that part, I think.
Just the arresting with the police officers.
All right, so you're volunteering as like a live,
like how they have those CPR dolls.
You're just one of those.
And you'll just thrash about a bit and be like,
stop it, stop it.
I'm also willing to be chased.
Okay.
On foot mainly.
Lightly tased?
I'll think about it.
Okay, cool.
Well, if the police minister is listening, you have our number.
Ready and willing, like I said.
Fun show on the way today.
We have two stabs at the secret sound.
That's happening.
You already know that.
That's at 4 and 5 o'clock.
We're standing by for the release of the hotly anticipated private parts remix.
Oh, yes, guys.
I'm my private box, private box, private box.
These are my private box.
No one should die.
Our producers working on it right now.
It was promised, and it will be delivered this afternoon.
Uh-huh.
I'm so excited as well.
We're hoping to have it ready for Tomorrowland.
Or at least, or at least Rhythm and Alps.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, yeah.
New Year's, A.
It will go off.
Except that Rhythm and Alps.
for New Year's Eve, you're like,
someone please touch my private parts.
Anyone, anyone, I've got a tent over there.
Let's get into Tradyverse Lady to start the show.
We have $50 cash thanks to KFC on the line.
Oh, 800 dial Z-M if you want to play.
Please touch my private parts.
I am very lonely.
It's cold.
It's just a fever ZED.
Play Z&M's Brie and Clint.
It's Trady versus Lady.
Three, two, one, let's go.
All right, back into it for another week of Trady versus Lady.
The Trades really need to start picking up some speed.
They're on 64 wins for the year.
The lady's on 71.
Yeah, they really do.
Our lady is calling from Carpity.
She is 18, and she is a dog walker.
Welcome to the show, Sophie.
Hi, Sophie.
Hi.
How many dogs you're walking at once?
these days, Sof?
Today we just took out 11.
11.
Has your dog walking business got a cool name?
Like, my dog goes with a company called Hounds Like Fun, which I think is quite clever.
What's the name of your dog walking business?
We don't really have a name.
We just walk him.
Oh, yeah.
Nice.
We just walk him.
Not a bad name.
We just walk him.
Yeah, you could take that as the name.
You're taking on our trading from New Plymouth.
He's 18, and he once fell off a 30 metre scaffold.
Welcome to the show, Jamal.
Hi, Jamal.
Hello?
You're right?
Isn't the scaffolding there for safety reasons,
like to stop you from falling off, Jamal?
I know, that's what the harness is for.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, that's a great point, Jamal.
All right, Jamal.
And he wasn't aware in that, Clint.
Stupid question, Clint.
Jamal, your buzz is tradie.
Sophie, yours is lady.
First person to give us three correct answers wins $50 cash.
Good luck.
Here we go.
Question number one, the Black Ferns kicked off their campaign.
with a win over Spain this morning.
What country is this World Cup being played in?
Rugby World Cup.
We'll give you a hint.
It's not New Zealand.
It's not Australia.
Trading?
Yes, Jamal just got in.
Front?
No.
No bad guess, though.
Yes, Sophie.
Spain?
Spain.
Do you say Spain?
Yeah.
No.
It's England.
England is what we were looking for.
No points there.
That's okay.
We move on.
Question number two.
Hosted by Jeremy Wells and Paul Williams.
What New Zealand TV series?
Yes, Sophie.
Taskmaster?
Well done.
She's on the money.
It's back on the telly tonight.
730 TVNZ2.
One to the ladies.
Question number three.
Buzz in when you can tell me who sings this.
Sophie.
Is it Chapel?
It's Chapel?
It surely is.
A friend of mine was at a festival where she played over the weekend.
Very jealous.
Over in the UK, obviously.
Yeah, right.
Two to the ladies, none to the Trades.
You need this one, Jamal, to stay in the game.
Question number four, New Zealand Fashion Week, kicks off this week in Tamaki Makoto.
Out of these three brands, which one is from New Zealand?
Mew, Zambizi, Chanel.
Trady?
Yes, Jamal.
Zambisi?
Well done.
It is Zambizi.
He's on the board.
Back in the game.
We found a specialty category.
It's New Zealand fashion designers.
One to the tradies, two to the ladies.
Question number five.
True or false?
A platypus is a mammal.
Trudy?
Ladies.
Yes, Jamal.
True.
Well, it is true.
He's right back in the game.
One of the only mammals in the world that also lays eggs.
I think it might be the only one, actually.
Anyway, we're all tied up here in the six.
This is for the win.
Pecorino, Havarty and Gouda
all types of what?
Sophie.
Well done.
She's a lady.
It's a great game.
It was closer than I thought it was going to be.
Jamal, great comeback.
But Sophie, you're the Trady versus Lady champion today.
Congratulations.
Yay.
Good on you, Sof.
We'll get that 50 bucks out to you.
Nice work.
Ladies go to 71.
Trady stay on.
64. The gap gets bigger.
ZD.M.'s Brie and Clint
podcast. There's a 92-year-old
Italian woman in the news today
who is
an absolute freak. She's got the
medical world in shock
because this 92-year-old
Italian woman has the muscle
cells of a 20-year-old
and she's nearly 80 years old.
She's an elite sprinter.
She holds world records in three
different age classes, I think.
Her name is Emma
Maria Mazinga
and put some goddamn respect
on her name because she
you're right, she broke the outdoor
200 metre world record
twice for women
over 90 with a time of
That's amazing.
50 seconds. It's a good time.
She's doing the 200 meter
in 50 seconds.
Genuinely,
scientists are studying her
because she appears to have
the cardio-respritory
fitness of someone in their 50s
and her muscle function
they function as well as a
healthy 20 year old and she's
92. It's all the
minestronees. Yeah.
Minestrone. And olive oil, right?
And Pomodoro. Yeah. We here at the
Bree and Clint show, no strangers
to a fitness
challenge. We love a race. Last year
we held our own women's 100 metre
race between Bree, Claudia
and Ella, our two
producers. But grudgingly, we did it. Yeah.
There was a few tears.
It was on the TAB.
Yeah, yeah.
We had it commentated.
It was a big deal.
It was a huge deal.
Do you guys remember your times?
Don't remember.
I have your times here.
How do you still have these?
Because they're on file.
We're going to let this go.
I mean, that's true.
Bree, you did the 100 metres in 16.3.
Poor.
A bit of training I could get under 15, I reckon.
Ella, you did the 100 meters in 17.4.
It was under 20, thankfully.
Yeah.
And Claudia, you did 18.
It's pretty much the same as Bruce.
Ish.
I felt that's pretty close.
That's 100 metres.
I felt good about that race.
Yeah, I know you did.
I didn't.
All women.
I hurt myself.
In there, or under 40 at least.
I could walk for the next week.
I just remember Claudia being slightly behind me going,
why am I coming last?
And then in the video because everyone was filming it.
I had to speed us up because we looked too slow.
We looked too slow.
Genuine question. Genuine question for you guys.
Do you all think you could beat Emma Maria Mazing, the 92-year-old who does the 200 metre in 50 seconds?
I am pretty confident that I could beat her.
I agree with you.
I think I could.
Ella?
If I say yes, I don't want to do it. I don't want to test it.
But do you think you could do it?
Yes.
I agree with you.
Claudia?
I am very confident that I could.
See, Brea and I are not so sure
I'm not as confident
We're not really that sure
50 seconds
I did it in 18s
If you double it
That's 30 something
6 seconds
Is when it's
It's 100 metres
You fatigue less
Obviously over 200 metres
You need to take a bit of fatigue
Into account
Yeah yeah
So you wouldn't do your second hundred
slower than your first 100
Yeah but I've got it
Like 14 seconds spare
Yeah to Claudia's credit
She'd have to do her second hundred
twice as slow
as her first haven't. She'd have to do
a hammy. But I'm still not confident
that she could do it. I'm still not
confident. Should we
test it? No. No, I don't
think we need to test it. Tomorrow.
No, I'm busy tomorrow.
Sorry, busy tomorrow.
We're going to fly this woman
over from Italy
and Claudia.
We'll race her. There's two options here.
There's two options here. We could do a strict time trial
where we just time
mainly Claudia, but everyone.
over 200 meters and see that you're all faster?
Or we put the call out to try and find the oldest person that we can
to go head to head with Claudia.
Is there someone out there that is well-experienced, let us say?
I don't want someone well-experienced.
I want someone with no experience.
No, when I say well-experienced, I mean of age.
And also well-experienced.
No, really unfit.
In a running race.
Someone with some miles on the clock.
Do you think you could take down producer Claudia in a 200-meter race?
The answer is yes.
I said...
You're 32, aren't you, Claude?
Yeah.
I said I wanted you to race Mama Die.
She'd smoke me.
The next time Mama dies here, like she's in her 60s.
Yeah.
Mama die versus Claudia.
Who would you bet on, honestly?
Mama die.
I feel like for this to be interesting.
We should do that the next time Mama dies here.
but for right now.
I think she's a great option if she's up for it.
Yeah.
I feel like to make this interesting,
the person needs to be minimum double Claudia's age.
Yeah, I think so.
So we're looking for someone.
To make it fair for Claudia.
64 and over who's willing to race Claudia in a 200 metre race.
Can we make it at 100 instead?
No.
It's 200.
I really hurt myself last time, guys.
You'll hurt yourself more on the 100 than the 200.
Because the 100 is a straight sprint.
Because I heard myself straight away.
You've got 14 seconds up your sleep.
Ages.
You've got age.
966.
Claudia has a rest in the middle.
That's our text number.
9696.
If you are or you have access to someone 64 and over who's willing to race Claudia.
I won't go easy on you.
I'll give it my all.
We're looking for a fit 60 year old.
Claudia just absolutely smokes them.
She's like, yeah.
In your face.
I like it was hard.
Back to the rest home, bitch.
Text us if you...
Genuinely, we would love to make this happen.
Yeah, we'd love that.
We would all love that.
If not, Mama die's going to have to step up.
We're going to have to fly her over here
just so she could beat Claudia and then we'll fly her back home.
If we can't fly her over,
is she willing to go down to the local tenderfield track and field?
She would.
And time herself.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
She could do that.
Get Steve to take one of the kettle guns down.
and my dad would take it way too serious
put her into a training camp
he puts her in a pair of spikes
you're not losing to that
Claudia woman
no wife of mine
the chance of mama die
running in that 200 metre race
not beyond the realms of possibility
she has made contact with us
she was listening and she said to me
I'm looking at flights as we speak.
Game on.
I'm really worried that she's actually going to appear.
I actually don't know who would win.
Claudia or Mama Die.
If you missed it, we're trying to get Claudia.
We originally wanted her to race against the 92-year-old Italian woman
who's got the world record for 90-year-olds over 200 metres.
But I think we have come to the conclusion that Claudia would just take that race out.
Oh, did we come to that conclusion, did we?
I think if you do the math on Claudia's time in the 100,
she would have around 14 seconds to spare.
It's not fair, because she's a professional runner, and I'm one-third her age, so...
Anyway, we've found you a competitor much younger in Bree's mum, Mama Di,
and it's looking like this could be the race that happens.
Almost too young, I think.
I probably would have to back Mama Die in for the win.
She's quite athletic.
And I'm really not, so I would probably agree with you.
And she's got good knees on her.
There is Franklin
Welcome to a fresh round of kid or kidding
Where you could be a kid being a kid
Or you could be a kid tricking us to thinking you're an adult
Or you could be an adult
Tricking us into thinking that you're a kid
You could be anything, we don't know
You can be anything, we have no idea
Oh I'm so excited
We haven't played for a while
Who's up first
To the show, our first contestant
Porsche, hi Porsche
Hi Porsche
Hi, how old are you, Porsche?
I am 21.
21.
21.
Congrats, big year for you.
Did you have a big 21st birthday, Portia?
Yeah, I did.
What did you do?
Um, I went to a club with all my friends.
Yeah, that's what you do when you turn 21.
What was your drink of choice, Porsche?
Yeah, what were you drinking?
Tequila.
Nice.
I mean, that's definitely an adult.
Definitely an adult because they know about tequila.
Porsche, are you a 21-year-adult?
Porsche, this is where you can tell us if you were a kid or you were kidding.
No, I'm kidding.
Oh, you got us good, Porsche.
Who would have thought?
Trekked again.
How did she know about tequila?
Flynn's here.
Hi, Flynn.
Hi, Flynn.
Hi.
How are you going?
Man.
Good.
Yeah?
How old are you, Flynn?
I am 13.
13.
13.
Nice. What do you do for...
A job. What are you do for a job?
Yeah, what do you do for work?
I do paper runs.
Oh, you're nice.
Oh, he double-guffed us.
He was quick on that, wasn't he?
Because if you were an adult,
pretending to be a 13-year-old.
You'd be like, I'm a lawyer.
Do you like school? Flynn, do you go to school?
Yeah, kind of boring half the time.
That checks out too for a kid.
I reckon this is a real bona fide kid
that we're talking to.
Oregon, it's a kid.
Flynn, are you a real kid?
Yes, I am.
Oh, are you 13, Flynn?
Yes.
Yeah, got him.
He played himself.
We got him, good.
You played himself.
Ila's here.
Hi, Ila.
Hi, Ila.
Hi.
How old are you, Ila?
20.
20.
You're 20.
Uh-huh.
Do people say you sound younger?
Yes.
I thought so.
You're youthful, right?
You're just youthful.
You'd have a driver's license, wouldn't you, Ila?
Yeah.
Yes, what sort of car do you drive?
Toyota.
Toyota, great choice, very reliable, yeah.
Hey, Ila, as a 20-year-old, have you been to any live music concerts?
What's been your favourite, if you have?
None.
None.
You don't like music?
I do.
Oh, you do?
You do? What's your favourite?
I don't like people.
Any favourite musicians?
Sabrina Carpenter.
Sabrina Carpenter.
Oh, that's an adult.
We're talking to a 20-year-old here.
That's a 20-year-old adult.
It has to be.
Ely, you're definitely 20, aren't you?
No.
Oh, you're not.
How old are you?
Nine.
You're nine.
God, you did well.
Rats.
Avery's here.
Hi, Avery.
Hi, Avery.
Hi.
Welcome to Kidd or Kitting, the game where we don't know if you're
You're a kid or you're kidding.
How old are you, Avery?
Um, I am 23.
23.
It takes me a while sometimes to figure out how old I am these days, too.
Avery, you're the oldest contestant we've had on kid or kidding today.
Congratulations.
Thanks.
What have you been doing today as a 23-year-old adult?
Well, it's right.
Talking on my phone.
Talking on your phone.
Adults love that.
That checks out.
That checks out.
Are you dating anyone at the moment, Avery?
Uh-oh.
Yeah.
You are?
How many people?
Uh-oh.
Just one.
Just one.
You're a one kind of relationship girl.
I'm married.
Oh, you're married.
Oh, yeah, wow.
And what's your husband?
Have you got a husband or a wife?
Is that your...
Sorry, that's just my son.
What's his name?
Nico.
Is he a bit grumpy at the moment, is he?
Yeah.
God, you can't...
Why don't you give him to his dad to sort him out?
He's at work.
He's at work.
Oh, of course he is, Avery.
That's always the case, isn't it?
Where does your husband work?
Um...
Truck driver.
Truck driver.
How long have you been married for, Avery?
Um, two, yeah.
Two years.
And do you still love them?
Yeah.
Oh, that's nice.
How many kids are you going to have?
Um, two.
Two is a good number.
I mean, Avery clearly a 23-year-old married woman to a truck driver with a kid.
With a kid.
Is that true?
Avery?
No.
Oh.
What?
How old are you really?
Um, eight.
What?
Avery, was that not even your son in the background?
That was my brother.
Oh!
God, you are quick on your feet, Avery.
Can we find Avery some KFC because that was so good?
Avery, you've won 50 KFC chicken dollars.
And if she doesn't enjoy it, her truck driving husband will.
He's going to love it.
She was so good.
How quick was she?
Sorry, that was my son.
That was my son.
The Private Parts Remix, Delayed.
But that means...
Oh, mate, good things take time.
Good things are coming.
So...
And we don't want to rush it.
No, you can't rush it.
You can't rush greatness.
No.
Did Michelangelo rush the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel?
No.
He took his time.
And the Pope was like, I need that ceiling ready by 3.30.
And he's like, no, I need another hour.
I completely agree with that comparison that Clint just made.
Yeah.
So.
This are my private path.
Private parts.
It's the same.
Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel.
Remix of the private parts song.
Same.
Same.
Art is art.
I'll let her finish.
4.30 incoming.
It's on its way.
It's on its way.
Last week I was filming some ads
because apparently people want me for that kind of stuff now.
Sell out.
Sorry, what?
You know, says you.
Port Kittle Black.
I went out to film some ads for
this motorhomes company. It was great. It was out of this really cute little motor home.
What do you call it? A camp. A camper van? Campa van. Campground. A campground that overlooked
the water. It was beautiful. Anyway, I got there early and they had this lovely woman who was there
to do my hair and makeup. So I didn't look, you know, like I'd woken up at 6th of the morning.
Exactly. So I looked a bit put together. And she was so nice.
And I was talking to her about her life and where she's from and what she's about.
And anyway, I learnt the busiest fact about this woman.
Okay.
She told me, right, she's a mother of four, which amazing.
She looked incredible and she's like, here's a fun fact for you.
During all four pregnancies for my four kids, I did the same thing every day of every pregnancy.
I did this one thing.
Cry?
I'm sure she would have probably done that as well, but no.
No.
She said to me that she...
Cursed the man that got her pregnant?
I think she did that too.
But she said during all four pregnancies,
every single day she never missed a day.
She watched the movie, you've got male.
What?
She watched it every single day of every pregnancy,
and she had four of them.
Okay.
No, no, I've done the math.
You've done the math.
I've done the math on this.
So a standard pregnancy is about 280 days.
So we're just going with a standard pregnancy.
Sure.
So that times four, because she had four kids, is 1,120 days.
Right?
Yeah.
You've got male.
The runtime for that movie is one hour, 59 minutes.
So, which is, I mean, I've done the math equals, you time.
that by 1,120 days, it equals 133,280 minutes, which I've then worked out is 92 and a half
days she spent watching the movie, You've Got Mail.
That's a whole trimester of watching You've Got Mail.
Why You've Got Mail?
I said that to her.
It's one of her favourite movies ever.
Would have to be.
And I was like, of course, it's a fantastic movie, one of the greatest movies of all time.
And she said it was her comfort thing during pregnancy,
where it gave her comfort to watch that movie.
So she was like, I'm going to do this every day.
It's a part of my routine.
Crazy.
It's not just any Tom Hanks or Meg Ryan movie.
It's that one specifically.
That movie, because, I mean, there's other amazing movies with them in it.
Of course there is.
There's other amazing movies.
But that was like her comfort thing that she did.
Yeah, right.
And she was pregnant.
Isn't that funny?
There's that podcast, that guy.
Montgomery and Tim Bat did
where they watched Six in the City
Two every day for a year
And they documented it
And made a podcast about it
Why would you do that?
They said they went mildly insane
Well they also did one where they watched
Grownups too
Yeah
Which also horrible
That sounds like torture to me
I wonder if she's watched the film
Since her children were born
Or if she's like 1,200 times
That's my number
She still taught
She still spoke very fondly
of the movie
like it was still
one of her favourite movies
I've seen no movies
that often
but what is your most watched movie
I don't know
I go through phases
of where I have my comfort movie
and I'll whack the comfort movie on
and I'll just re-watch it over and over
what's my comfort movie at the moment
my comfort movie for a while
was how to be single
and with Rebel Wilson
such an easy watch
but it's funny
yeah yeah
mine's probably Zoolander
Zoolander is a good one
Yeah
But I'm not watching it
Producers do you have a comfort movie
That you just will re-watch over and oh
You know what else
One of my comfort movies is
When I'm really really not feeling good
My mental health is bad
Ratatoui
Oh great choice
It's a go-toe film for me
You will crack a smile
It's like a big warm hug
Yeah yeah right
It is
Okay
I would definitely watch the Hunger Games series
All four movies three times a year
I definitely watch that over and over as well
I love it
Sometimes I don't get to movie number three
because I feel like it went a bit downhill.
That's fair.
My one and two are great.
Oh, I just love it so much.
Enjoy the first two and then never watch the third
because we don't forgive them for killing prim.
Still not over it.
Still not over it.
Dead Am's Bree and Clint podcast.
Last week I brought you all guys' attention
the private paths song.
This are my private parts.
Private parts.
This are my private parts.
No one should die.
No one should die.
And if you touch my private pass, private pass, private pass, and if you touch my private
pass, I would you my mother, I would you my father, I would you my teacher.
Chef's kiss, no notes.
It's fantastic.
The private parts song is by a teacher in Africa, Gelda Waterbora.
I just want to give credit where credit is true.
Absolutely.
And last week we debuted.
that on ZM and I said to you guys
should we make it into a remix?
Yeah.
You know, should we make it into a remix
and then we can, you know,
first play it here on our show?
Mm-hmm.
Because this is going to go viral.
Well, it's a good message too.
Remix could help spread the message, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
Normally you don't want to spread things
when it comes to...
Private parts.
These kind of things.
But in this case, we want to spread
this really solid,
far and wide.
Important message.
And it takes time for these things to bed in too.
So if we get the remix done now ahead of festival season.
Oh, it's going to be an Ibiza.
Who knows where this could go?
It's going to Ibiza.
You're going to it's going to Ibiza?
Yeah, yeah.
Mike Posner will be there.
It'll be an Ibiza.
Yeah, yeah.
It'll be popping off in the clubs.
So without further ado, here it is the remix of the Private Parts song.
This is my private parts.
No one's good.
Time, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
No, what you would die.
If you touch my Reddit fuck,
Bradley pack,
if you judge my Reddit pack,
I would show my mind.
If you touch my Reddit fuck,
Bradley puff.
If you judge my Reddit pack,
I would show my mind.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Come on.
Wow.
I mean, I smell a hit.
Yeah, I wonder if we can get that playlisted anywhere.
Do you reckon George FM would play it?
I reckon George FM...
It's got them ridden all over, it does not?
Should we create a fake email and send it to them?
Why not a real email?
Yeah, okay.
I'll be...
Back yourselves.
I'll be Gilda Waterbora's manager.
Oh, true, we've got to get her permission, don't we?
Do we?
Nah, it's a remix.
It's a remix, yeah, yeah.
If it makes any royalties,
We'll split it.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, 7030.
Yeah, that was fire.
That was good.
That's the private parts remix.
It's first and maybe only play.
Could be the only play.
But I have a feeling other radio stations are going to pick it up.
Oh, it's going to snowball.
Should we drop it into Fletchhorn and Haley's music log tomorrow morning?
Yeah, from memory they love it when we do that kind of stuff.
I reckon drop it into their log.
Yeah, yeah.
As a surprise, they'll love it.
Yeah, yeah.
Just label it Harry Stiles or something.
Sneaky.
The ZDM Podcast Network.
I read about this woman who said, on a podcast, I think,
she was like, this is the reason there was no second date.
And the date had gone really well right up until the bill splitting.
So here was the sitch, $140 bill.
They decided, and I think it was, you know, a joint decision where they were going to split the bill.
Yep.
That's completely fine.
Decided up front.
Yeah, I think so.
Completely fine.
She knew that and she so happened to have $70 in her wallet.
Okay.
Because I think the bill was like actually $141 something.
Okay.
But it was $140.
Sure.
She's like, I got $70, puts the cash into the little envelope,
and he turns around and says, you owe me like $0.90 something cents.
Wow.
And she said I knew at that point that there was not going to be a second day.
Who is doing that though?
Because I imagine she threw cash in to make it easy and then he's put his card in.
And then they go away and tap the card and do the rest.
Yeah, I actually paid an extra.
Dollar 80.
I think it was like $141.40.80 or something.
Yeah.
And he's like, you owe me 90-something cents.
You'd go.
I would actually be.
in my mouth. It would make me that uncomfortable and I would be so, I would be that cringe over
the situation. Yeah. I think at first I'd laugh. I'd go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, spot you
later. And if they were serious, I'd be like, no, no, no, no, you do. Do you want my bank account
number? But the thing is, is that there is that there is that guy's perfect match out there.
There would be someone out there who would feel the same in those situations. Look at producer
Claude.
Shots fired at single producer
Claude. So producer
Claude's not that over the top, but you do
love things to be fair.
Uh, yeah.
Yeah.
To a point.
If the bill was $145, for example,
and your date put $70 cash down,
which left you with $75 to pay,
how would you feel?
How would you feel?
I would pay the rest and then complain about it later.
Yeah, Claude.
And you know what?
And I love that you know that about yourself.
And this is what I mean.
So, like, obviously those two aren't a match.
And she knew straight away where she was like,
this isn't going to work for me.
Should, out of etiquette, if you're throwing cash in,
should you be the one to overpay?
Should you go, I've only got $80.
I'll just put $80 and you get the rest.
Well, she didn't have $80.
Oh, she had $70.
She said I only had $70 and I felt like it was more than enough.
Yeah, yeah.
Look at Claudia.
She's like, it's not.
I'm trying to put myself in the situation.
I'm like, oh, someone did it to me.
Okay, wait.
Let's put you in this exact situation.
You've gone out on a day.
The bill's 100, what do we say, $141.80.
Yeah.
Good date.
Your date slides across $70 cash.
I know Claudia would never say anything in the moment.
No, no.
It'd be, you know, you would just get on with it.
But how would you feel inside about it?
Do I really like?
this person or am I still kind of figuring it out?
You're still figuring it out. Yeah, I wouldn't be happy.
If you really liked
them, would it make you really like
them a little bit less? Oh,
no, probably not.
It would sit there, I'd think
about it, but I don't think it would actually affect anything.
I'm interested now.
Roll reversal. You're the
person with the $70 cash.
All good. Yeah.
That's all I have. Sorry.
That's close enough.
Do as I say, not as I do, okay?
Look, the bill splitting thing can be awkward,
particularly if you're not getting the waiter to just go,
cut it in half and you both tap your cards,
or whatever it is.
Or if they believe that you had five dumplings
and they only got three dumplings.
Or I don't know what it is.
Oh, God.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, actually, you had a cocktail and I'm driving
so I actually didn't have any,
I didn't have anything,
so I don't feel like I should split that with you.
But people are different.
People will approach these things differently.
I mean, unless they've down five cocktails and you had water,
in that case, I don't think the date's gone very well anyway.
I'm on board then where I'm like, this is a bit unfair.
0,800 dials at them.
Or text your awkward date bill splitting stories into 9-6-96,
specifically on a date.
Yeah.
Because there's that overarching, you know,
awkwardness.
I'll also take ones that aren't on a date as well.
Like maybe you've gone out for someone's birthday.
Oh, okay.
And it's an awkward situation between a friend group.
You've lost friends over it.
Where someone's gone, I'll pay for everyone.
And you guys all pay me back and then no one pays back.
I hate that, eh?
It's ZAM's Bree and Clint podcast.
Awkward bill splitting situations.
They made me so uncomfortable.
Even reading the text that
coming through made me so uncomfortable.
And thank you for all of these texts, and there are
so many, and we won't be able to get through all of them.
There's so many good ones.
But all of them that I have read have made me go,
oh.
Let's kick it off with this one that says,
I went on a first date to a Korean barbecue place
where you pay by the plate.
I'm a vegetarian, and for one tray of vegetables,
and I got one tray of vegetables,
which was reasonably priced.
My date got three trays of,
expensive beef. He then got shitty at me and called me a toxic feminist for not splitting the
bill. I did pay for my tray of vegetables. Needless to say, there was no second date. Maybe the
awkwardness of bill splitting is a good litmus test for the person that you're with. Like that, in that
situation, your refusal to split the bill has made that guy show his true colours. Yeah, so you've
actually come out on top in that. You got it out of him. My friend went out with her husband
and another friend couple.
The guy from the friend couple ordered a $90 giant steak meal
that the restaurant was famous for as well as beers.
She and her hubby didn't drink.
At the end of the night,
the guy told the waitress to split the bill between the couples.
My friend's hubby paid while she was in the bathroom
and when she found out she was furious at her partner.
How do you feel about that situation?
Read the room.
If you are out for dinner as couples,
it's often easier just to split the bill.
But if you know that you had the $90 steak...
Then you pay for the $90 steak.
And four beers.
And the people opposite you had shared a pasta and a couple of sparkling waters.
Read the room.
You don't do that to friends.
Read the room.
You don't do that.
That's...
I'd be so...
I'd be mad too.
Here's a good laugh for you guys.
My ex...
I split up with my ex before I moved out.
And he made me pay.
for more of the power bill
as I had a longer shower before moving
out. Hashtag Lucky Escape.
He timed your shower.
You've got to be kidding me.
I wonder how he figured
how he did the math on that.
Like how much extra.
How much extra it would be?
Like how many minutes
equals how much power?
My friends and I were in Europe
and we had this one friend that never wanted
to split the bill the easy way.
He had to always check the receipt
and wouldn't pay two euros for water
because he didn't have any.
This was every single night of the trip.
Two euros for water split four ways.
There's this famous trip in my friend group from back home
where everyone talks about it.
This one friend that got invited on this trip.
I didn't go on the trip,
but they said it was pretty much exactly like this.
And it made going out for meals or dinner,
It just made it awkward.
Anyway, that person's never been invited again.
Yeah, well, yeah, if you don't, if you're not fun to, you know.
Is that awkward that they don't get invited anymore because of that?
Do you think they know?
I don't know.
I don't know if they know.
My wife always wants to split the bill on our date nights.
Babe, our cards come from the same account.
No, but it's the principal.
Yeah.
It's the principal, right?
Yeah.
Someone else said I went to get ice cream with a mate of mine,
and I went to the bathroom
and when I came back,
he said that he'd paid
and he asked me to Venmo him
the amount that mine was.
It was under $3.
Oh, that's sad.
We don't have Venmo here, eh?
I don't think so.
Oh, because you can just bank transfer here?
But it's just being like, hey,
can you transfer me $2.60 for your ice cream?
My partner and I alternate
when we go out for lunch and dinner.
Oh, that's fun.
So you go, oh, I got the last one.
You get this one.
I'll get the next one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's cool.
Yeah.
Unless you strategically pick real expensive places on their time, on their time to pay.
But it will work out because they'll know that you're doing that.
And then when it's your team, they'll pick really expensive ones.
It'll be like an arms race to see who can take each other to the most expensive restaurant.
Next thing, you know you're going for lunch at the top of the Sky Tower and your partner's turn to buy.
You've got to go back to work.
But you're like, maybe I will have a magnum of champagne.
It's a Tuesday during the day.
but I might.
Maybe I will get the dinosaur
fill it.
Thanks for your texts.
It's ZM's Brinklin podcast.
Time for a round of how many.
How many?
How many?
How many?
That's a good amount.
This is how many.
The game you win if you've got the most something.
And today it's broken bones.
It sure is.
So you had to have broken a bone before
to actually win the game.
so we asked people who have at least broken one bone to call through.
Jordan's called through.
Hi, Jordan.
There you come, guys.
Good, thank you.
You've broken a few bones, Jordan.
I have, I have.
How many would you say?
Six that I've had x-rayed.
Ooh, okay, can you name them off the top of your head?
I've done both wrists, my elbow, my back, a finger, a toe.
Ooh, you broke your back?
Yeah.
Which vertebrae?
Uh, one of the lower ones.
Oof.
Okay, you're at six.
Your job, Jordan, is to pick the person on the Brea and Clint show that you think you've broken more bones than.
Your options are Bree, Clint, or our producers, Ella and Claudia?
What do you reckon?
Um, I think Claudia.
You reckon Claudia's the clumsiest on the show, Jordan?
No, least clumsy.
Least clumsy.
Oh, least clumsy.
Thanks, Bree.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, good idea not picking Ella.
She's vegan, so she can't drink milk, which means her bones basically dust, Jordan.
That's so not true, don't you dare lie.
There's no calcium in her whatsoever.
Brittle.
Fake.
Fake news.
She's like a wafer.
Keep going, anything out.
She's like a dropped rice cracker.
Are you done?
Jordan, this is ridiculous.
All right.
Okay, let's start with you then.
How many bones are you broken, Ella?
One.
Only my pinky.
It got stuck in a radio studio door
when I was getting a tour at Life FM and I fainted.
On a tour? That's so embarrassing.
Yeah, it was. It was really embarrassing.
You're still young, though. There's plenty of time.
Plenty of time.
No, I don't want to. I'm good.
Bree, how many bones have you broken?
I've broken five.
Oh!
Whoa!
I broke my both pinky toes at one point in my life,
kicking it on stuff.
I broke a bone in my foot.
and multiple vertebrates.
There she is, five.
You've got a backbreaking buddy and brie, Jordan.
Yeah, twins.
Twins.
L4 and L5.
Probably similar vertebrates to what you broke.
Jordan, I'd say.
Clint, how many of you broken?
Three.
Three?
Both elbows and one vertebrae in my upper spine.
What the heck?
Why did you broke your back too?
Just a small fracture.
Wow.
It's called a clay diggers fracture.
Huh.
Were you doing something silly?
You're digging clay.
I was it Les Mills.
That just leaves Claudia.
So Claudia, if you've broken less than six bones,
Jordan wins free KFC.
Six is a good amount.
How many bones have you broken?
Jordan, I will say you've read me like a book.
I have never broken a bone.
Zero.
I'm shocked at that.
The least club is he on the show.
It's because she doesn't do anything, Jordan.
I don't like to leave my house.
She walks her dog, that's about it.
And that's scary.
Yeah.
Her favourite pants are made out of bubble wrap.
Yeah.
Jordan, you did it.
Congratulations.
You're the most broken man on the Brian Clint show this afternoon,
so you've got 50 KFC chicken dollars coming your way.
Awesome.
Thanks, guys.
Well done.
What was that?
The suffering worth it.
The suffering was worth it.
Yeah, yeah.
Except to break six bones.
Play ZDEM's Bree and Clint.
The Barley Curse.
Anyone here heard of the Barley?
No, I've never heard of the barley curse.
Not talking about barley belly.
That's what I went to initially.
Because that can be a curse when you are...
Yeah, yeah.
When you were...
When you're cursing the meal that you had.
Yes.
Yeah.
And riding that porcelain bus.
I've actually never been to Bali.
Oh, Bali's the best.
Yeah, right.
I love Bali.
I want to go back.
Haven't been for ages?
I'd love to go back.
Would the curse put you off?
I have been a victim.
myself to this particular curse.
Okay.
You're not shocked by that?
Well, I don't know what it is.
Okay, that's fair enough.
I'm sitting here waiting and find out what it is.
The barley curse is a widespread...
I know what it is.
Tourist myth.
Yeah, it's when the white chicks come back with the braids.
No.
Oh.
I believe that's Fiji.
Oh.
The barley curse is a widespread tourist myth.
that relationships will end sooner or later after visiting Bali with your significant other.
What?
When you say sooner or later, how later is later?
Eventually, the relationship is doomed.
Yeah.
Only, hold on, only if you are not married.
Oh.
If you are married, you are safe from the Bali curse.
myself
I went to Bali
The last time I went to Bali
Was with a partner
That's right
It was with your last girlfriend
We broke up a year later
Did you go to Bali
Claudia with your ex
No I've never been to Bali
That was a different curse
A different curse
That was the Claudia curse
Oh that happens
No
I'm trying to run through my head
And think about the couples
That I know
That have been to Bali
But wait before we believe this
How do you know
What do you mean?
Like, how is this a curse?
Who said it?
So this is like a widespread myth.
Wow.
That a lot of people talk about, mainly tourists, but I've looked it up and apparently
there's origins in a local legend about a heartbroken princess.
What?
Who cursed the Tanah Lot Temple to cause breakups amongst unmarried couples.
couples visiting the island.
No.
That's where they reckon this stems from.
Oh, I'm all over this.
Wow.
And so now the Bali curse is something that people are aware of.
Ella, have you been to Bali?
I have with my family.
Oh, no, my parents were married, but they did break up.
But I had a fling with someone.
I didn't go with them, but I was messaging them.
When I was at Bali.
No way.
But you could go to Bali now because you're married.
Yeah, so you're safe.
Wow.
I want to test out this theory.
I want to talk to people next on 0800 dials at M
if you have been to Bali
with a significant other.
Only if you weren't married.
I just want to talk to the people that have been on a Bali trip
when they were in a relationship and not married.
We want to work out if you have fallen victim to the Bali curse
Or if you haven't, do you believe that you will?
Yeah, do you feel like your relationship is now doomed?
And now that Breece told you about the Barley Curse,
do you know why your relationship is doomed?
Also text us on 9-696, if you can relate,
if you've fallen victim like myself to the Barley Curse.
Can we prove or disprove the Barley Curse this afternoon?
Let's see what we can get.
We need unmarried couples who have been.
to Bali together
ZDN's Brie and Clint
podcast
The Bali Curse
If you haven't heard of it
Welcome
You've got people really scared about this
And people who have only heard half of what you said
Because someone's texting and they said
My co-worker and his girlfriend
Have just been to Bali
Bree, what is the curse?
They've had enough, they don't need any more shit
Well I don't wish this upon them
But I am not in charge of the Bali curse
which is the fact that if you go there for a holiday with your significant other
and you are not married you will break up when you return home
your relationship is cursed it's doomed it's cursed
that is apparently the barley curse can we prove or just prove it this afternoon
this person wants to be anonymous hello anonymous
hi anonymous what's your experience with the barley curse anonymous
So I went to Bali in 2017 with my children and my partner at the time where we were not married.
Okay.
Two months after we came back, we separated.
It was quite, yes, it was quite sudden.
And I was like, oh, what?
But yeah, we broke up.
Was there any signs that your relationship was in trouble before your trip to Bali?
A little bit here and there, but nothing really, you know, relationships have ups and downs, but nothing, yeah, absolutely.
not really that's bad a sign.
And then next minute we've broken up,
our whole family broken up.
And I'm like, well, I didn't really expect that.
And I was just driving home and I was like, what?
Oh, my God.
Wait a second.
So you just heard us talking about this and you were like,
oh my God, I could have been a victim to the Bali curse.
Yeah, 100%.
And we went around to temples and different things with the kids now.
Oh, you were basically asking for it anonymous.
Yeah, the temples.
That's where they say they do the most cursions.
Thank you, Anonymous.
That's helpful.
Adam here.
I've been to Bali with.
my ex and her family. We broke up
six months after we got back.
Creepy.
Kyra is here. I know 800 dials at him.
Hi, Kyra. Hi, Kyra.
Hello, how are you guys?
Good, thanks. You're about to go
to Bali with your partner, correct?
Yes, we fly out on the 14th of October.
Okay. Are you married?
No, we just recently got engaged,
so I thought, I wonder if it affects
people that are engaged, but not yet married.
Interesting.
Kaira, have you thought about a loping before going?
Well, we thought so, but we thought we could be your little guinea pigs.
And if the wedding goes to go to the water around us.
No, no, we're not willing to risk your relationship, Kyra.
I am.
That's a great risk.
No, the price is too high, Kyra.
It's too high.
Not for me.
We will tell you, we are having texts from people who got engaged in Bali.
Someone said we got, oh, no, here you go.
We got married on the beach in Bali, and we're still together.
the 35 years later.
So maybe he was going to do it in Bali,
but the sort of timing was sort of right here.
We go to Phuket, so he was going to do it on holiday over there.
But Kyra, he ended dropping the knee beforehand.
It says here, no, the Bali curse does not inherently include engage couples
because the local folk tale and myth specifically applies to unmarried couples.
Right.
So the intention of being married.
should be enough to see Kyra through.
I think you'll be okay, Kyra.
The wedding is on and you're more than welcome to come.
Hell yes.
Well, if it happens, Kaira, Kaira's wedding.
We went to Bali in 2004.
He proposed over there
and we've been together for 23 years.
Okay, so you can go unmarried and unengaged
so long as you get engaged while you're there,
then your relationship will survive.
Right.
Someone else said,
I went to Bali with an ex.
We broke up a few months later.
A lot of people, me and my partner.
Now, fiancé, as of two weeks ago, head to Bali in October.
Should we not go?
My current partner and his ex went to Bali, and they broke up months later.
Not me, but a close friend went with her very fresh boyfriend at the time.
She got terrible barley belly and pooped herself everywhere in their villa.
He had to help her.
Seven years later, they are still together and go to Bali every year they're not married.
I think the barley belly poo.
The poo bound them.
The poo drives away in a bad spirit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Vinnie's here.
Hi, Vinnie.
Hi, Vinnie.
Hey, mate, how you going?
You had a tour guide warn you about the barley curse, Vinnie.
Yeah, yeah.
He's basically that town a lot, temple.
He's like, oh, if you go there, like, it's a nice place, but if you don't think you're going to get married to the misses, like, don't go there because you'll get cursed.
They know about it.
Yeah, yeah, he was like, don't go.
He's like, it's a nice temple, but don't go if you don't get married.
Hussie.
Wow.
Yeah.
But I think somewhat did curse us because I think while we're at Bali,
I think I had the misses on the back of the scooter
and we ended up in a rice paddy.
Oh, no, Vinnie.
Was this after the beach club, Vinnie?
It was like a temple run with a scooter and it's like two meters into a rice paddy.
Did you guys break up?
Nah.
Oh, it must have been the rice paddy.
Yeah, now the rice paddy must have washed the curse off.
Yeah, the rice paddy does have good spirit.
Yeah, it does.
From what we've heard.
It's cleansing.
Okay, thank you for your local insight, Vinny.
That's invaluable.
We appreciate it.
It's very split on the text.
Someone else said, went on our first couple's trip to Bali after dating for six months.
Survived the Bali curse.
Six years later, we're now five months married.
Good.
See, yeah, if you're married, you're in the clear.
It must have been because you had their intention to get married.
It must have been, the spirits must have known.
I think if you're in a new relationship,
go to Thailand.
Yeah, maybe go to Thailand.
Once you're married, then go to Bali.
There you go.
Don't say you weren't warned.
We're going to do a birthday bangor next.
Someone's texted and said,
Hey, guys, I can vouch that it also applies.
to married couples.
Loll.
I just realized.
So married couples aren't safe either.
My in-laws, my wife's parents, have been married for 40 plus years.
They've just got back from a three-week trip to Bali.
Oh, God.
It looks like one of them's going to have an affair.
Oh, no.
I mean, good for them, but oh, no.
Right, let's do some birthday bangers for your Monday.
Number one songs when you turn 16.
Let's start with Brea.
Hi, Brea.
Brea, yeah, hi.
Brea.
Hi, Brea.
Brea, I heard it's your birthday tomorrow.
Yeah, it sure is.
Well, happy birthday for tomorrow.
What year are we talking?
Thank you.
1996.
All right, that means you were 16, Brea, in 2012.
And on the 26th of August, 2012, this was at the top.
This is a big year.
Oh, it's a Guy Sebastian banger.
Oh, yeah, I'm happy with that.
Yeah, it's a goodie.
Bree and I actually do quite a good rendition of this song.
No, we did not.
Yeah, we played it to Guy Sebastian.
It's never sounded worse.
Brea, it was not good.
That's a great birthday banger.
I'd be stoked.
Brea likes her.
Let's do Claire's birthday banger.
Cutta Claire.
Hi, Claire.
Hi, how are you?
mate how was your weekend brilliant full of sunshine oh that's what we like to hear good on you
what is your day to birth claire the 17th of December 1982 all right that means you were 16 in
1998 we've done our calculations and here's your birthday bang oh that takes me back
Spice Girls, their goodbye song, titled Goodbye.
Was this their breakup song?
Yeah, this was their last song together.
Oh, wow.
What are you reckon, Claire?
It's pretty iconic.
It's iconic.
You can't go wrong with the Spice Girls song.
Okay, wait there, Claire.
Clint, no comment.
Oh, she said it's iconic.
I think she might have been being generous.
iconic in the fact of that it ended, it was the end of an era.
Yeah, it's post-Jerry, right?
Yeah, Jerry had already left.
The writing was on the wall.
Jerry had already left.
And then, yeah, this was a little while after that, and then they did this song.
Okay, Victor's here, and it's Victor's birthday today.
Happy birthday, Victor.
Happy birthday, Victor.
Thanks, guys.
What have you been doing today for your birthday, Victor?
Not much, just work, and I'm just chilling at home with the misses.
Oh, lovely.
Well, let's hope there's.
a big birthday present for you tonight Victor
we'll do your birthday banger now
what year?
92. Okay. That means you were
16 in 2008
and on your 16th
birthday this was number one.
Ah, Victor's birthday
present.
He gets to kiss his
misses tonight.
Do you like it, birthday boy Victor?
Yeah, yeah, pretty good, pretty good
It's good, okay
I'd also like to say two things,
just first one,
long-time listener, first time call it.
Okay, very good.
Yes, Specter.
It's your birthday, it's your birthday.
Thank you.
And what was the other thing you needed to say?
Second thing is,
Happy birthday to Brea, tomorrow.
Yes, oh, that's very kind of you.
Nice of you, victim.
What a gentleman.
True gent.
Okay, we've got to choose between Katie Perry,
Spice Girls, Battle Scars.
I'm voting for Guy Sebastian.
I think it's Battle Scars, yeah.
I think that's the song, isn't it?
Yeah, I think Brea's taking it out.
Brea, the birthday girl tomorrow, congratulations.
You're the winner of birthday banger today.
Thanks, guys.
Sounds cool.
Have a good birthday tomorrow, Brea.
Thank you.
Here it is.
From 2012, Guy Sebastian and Lupe Fiesco on Zid M.
You have more with love.
These battle scars.
ZDM's Brie and Clint.
Guy Sebastian and Lupe Fiasco on Zim, Brian Clinton's a birthday banger from 2012 for Brea.
Someone texted and said, hey guys, millennial here.
Why do I remember every single word to this song, but not what day of the week it is?
I think it's because you remember the important things.
Yeah, exactly right.
You know?
Exactly right.
Why does it matter what day of the week it is?
No, when Guy Sebastian's battle scars exist.
Yeah, and you're at the point of breaking.
Yeah.
And it's impossible to shake.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We didn't play Spice Girls.
I wonder if you would have remembered every word to that.
This has its place.
I quite like this song.
Yeah.
Not my favourite Spice Girls song?
No, no, not even Top Five.
Yeah, it's got a place.
What is this Spice Girls' Top Five?
Stop.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.
Stop, definitely in there.
Want to be, obviously.
Spice up your life
Spice up your life
Is there
Anna nah nah
That's that one I
Spice up your life
Oh the colours of the world
Yeah
Yeah
What did you say
Stop
Stop
Yeah
What's the song we sing
On that segment
Who do you think you are
Yes
Gotta be in there
Yep
Got to be in there
What about when two become one
When two become one
Or mama
Yeah
Oh, guys, I've got the top five.
Yeah.
Okay, so it's wannabe?
Yeah.
Spice up your life.
Yes.
What was the other one we said for this segment?
Stop.
No, stop.
Yeah, stop.
Yeah.
Viva Forever.
No, Viva Forever's not in that.
No, it's not top five.
What's the other one we do in the segment?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Yeah.
And the last one.
Don't say holler.
To round out the first.
Don't say holler.
The 2,000 hit.
Holla.
No, it's not holler.
It's stupid lice.
No, it's holler.
Oh, that's when you sure have played holler.
And whenever I'm listening, would have went,
oh, she's so right.
No one cares about the Spice Girls holler.
It's a forgotten baga.
No one cares about the spice girls holler.
Just because it was at the end of their good run.
This is them trying to be Destiny's child.
This is everything.
They're like, you're British and white.
Well, most of you.
They are.
Definitely.
Rounds out the top five.
Z&M's Bree and Clint podcast.
It's no secret that Bree and I are immune to the Kiwi conspiracy.
A lot of New Zealanders, and people around the world actually have been brainwashed into believing
that this ridiculous creation, the Kiwi, is real.
It's not a real bird.
You're telling me there's birds and they can't fly.
Who came up with that stupid myth?
Well, the beak like that, that's not a bird.
No way.
Okay, that's not real.
It's a marsupial, if it is real.
When we told our producers that we were going to talk about this,
they were quite shocked.
But that's because they're brainwashed like the rest of the media, and they...
Have you ever seen...
Wait, let's just see.
Oh, come on.
Have you guys ever seen, with your own two eyes, a Kiwi in real life?
Yes.
Where?
In the bush?
At the zoo.
No.
If it was at the zoo, and it was behind some glass...
Oh, don't you dare.
And it was dark.
You're sounding like flat Earthers.
You have no idea.
We call BS.
Excuse you.
No, seriously.
Excuse you.
Do you believe that the moon landing was real?
All right.
We're not bringing that stuff into it.
See, they're trying to sway us.
This is what they do.
This is what people like you do when we try to get down to facts.
They're trying to distract us.
You're trying to discredit us.
From the truth.
They're trying to discredit us.
Okay, say your thing and then I'll say my thing.
No, we'll just say our thing.
No one has ever.
seen a Kiwi in the wild. No one. No one that isn't being paid by the government.
Okay? People from the Department of Conservation will go, actually, I breed Kiwis. Yeah, and who
pays you? The government. The government. It's all a government conspiracy. You're being paid by the
government. In fact, Kiwis, this is, you're hearing this, you may be hearing this for the first time,
and it's hard to hear the information. It's quite shocking the first time you hear it.
I'm going to tell it to you straight, okay? The Kiwi is a marketing tool used by the New Zealand
government to trick people into coming to New Zealand to spend money to try and see a bird
that doesn't exist.
It's the perfect scam.
It's the perfect scam.
And everyone always has the same experience.
They're like, you know, we went out there, we didn't want to disturb it too much,
turns out there nocturnal.
That sounds very bloody convenient to me.
We were going to see one, but the weather was bad one night, so they said we'd have to
come back.
Unfortunately, we had to go back to Finland.
We didn't get to see it.
We didn't have the time.
Well, get this.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Turn her off.
No.
Get this.
Announced today by the Poo.
They've come clean.
The Pukaha National Wildlife Center in Mastodon.
They've come clean.
No, the opposite.
They're now promoting a white Kiwi.
They've said.
Oh, this is getting out of control now.
Come and visit us at the Pukaha National Wildlife Center in Mastodon.
We've got a new variant.
We've got a white Kiwiwiwiwii.
And you should come here and you should spend money to see this Kiwi.
What are they saying?
It's an albino Kiwi, are they?
Yeah, some kind of gene mutation, some kind of super Kiwi.
We're not even buying the other type of Kiwi, let alone the albino Kiwi.
Can I say I actually expected better from the Pukaha National Wildlife Syndrome Nas?
I thought they were above this.
I thought they were above this too, but turns out no.
Oh, hello.
Okay.
You guys are actually ridiculous.
Talk to your friend, Bree, Pax Society.
He's done a TV show called Endangered Species.
he's altero.
This is where, hey, wait, wait, wait.
This is where I got the information from.
Not packed.
I filmed Taskmaster with him and I said to him, mate.
I said, you know that whole time you filmed that show about endangered species?
Did you ever see a Kiwi?
He did.
And he said, no.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
No, don't you do.
Okay, I'll turn you off again.
He said, for the cameras, for the cameras, we made it appear like we saw, but no.
And even if he did see one.
No Kiwis.
Even if he did see one.
Guess how they funded that show?
New Zealand on air.
Guess where the money for New Zealand on air comes from?
The government.
Turn me back on.
The government.
You cannot be spreading false information on the radio for all of our TED hours.
No, get rid of it.
You hear it here first.
If we're not on air tomorrow, you know they've come for us.
You know they've come for us, okay?
The government is very powerful.
I wouldn't be surprised if we are missing persons tomorrow.
We're bravely taking a stand.
Well, missing person, just like the damn Kiwi.
Play ZM's Brie and Clint on Insta, Facebook, TikTok and live weekdays from three on ZM.
