ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – 26th February 2021

Episode Date: February 26, 2021

Tradie V LadyWhat did you sell after the breakup?Latest with Dean McCarthyWhen did you find out your parents were ‘bad to the bone’?Mr Potato head newsPie down the pantsWhat was your school song?Birthday Banger!Clints ‘Dad Shower’Sperm newsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

G'day everybody, welcome to the Brie and Clint podcast, another Brie and Clint podcast without Brie and with Caitlin. Hi Caitlin. Hello. Fridays on this show we do an international birthday banger. Hit it Ben. It's my birthday, it's my birthday. Brie and Clint's birthday banger. The podcast.

Yeah! You've never heard it, what we do is we get your details from our podcast family page on Facebook, and we're slowly working through them three a week to do everyone's overseas birthday banner because you guys can't call up for it live on the show. Yeah, sorry. And I know you probably want to be a part of it, but this is how you can be, right? Full disclaimer, Caitlin's already looked at the names and places. It's the places I'm not very good at.

I'm so sorry. Let's start with Timothy Weber. Where's Timothy Weber from, Caitlin? Timothy Weber is from Pocotelanjo, S-C-U-S-A? Pocotelanjo. Pocotelanjo? What's S-C? South Carolina? South Canterbury. South Canterbury. South Canterbury, U-Sbury. South Canterbury, USA. Yeah, all right. Well, you know who you are.

Pocatelijo. Yeah. Timothy Weber, you were born, oh, you do this bit. You were born on the 29th of April in 1991. So on the 29th of April in 2006, you were 16, and this was your birthday banger. Does that make me crazy? Damn, this would have been going off in

Pocatelijo. Absolutely. The Thirsty Whale in Pocatelijo? Turn it up. Cool. Okay, next one's for Josh Taylor. And where's Josh Taylor from, Caitlin? Josh Taylor is from

Hawaii, call me UK. Oh, no. I thought it was from the UK. Oh, no. It's from the UK. Hang on. That was supposed to be British. Ha-Wai-Komb-B? Ha-Wi-Komb.

Ha-Wi-Komb. Is the B silent? Ha-Wi-Komb. British people have a weird way of running things together. Like Worcestershire. Joshua Taylor is from the UK. and on the 5th of October 1990 that was his birthday and he was born then on the 5th of October in

2016. He was 16 and this was his song. I can imagine a 16 year old Joshua Taylor wearing a fedora with a popped collar and some Osiris skate shoes. And he's just like, yeah. Come here, girl. Yeah.

Come to the bag. Nice, Joshua. Joshua's mum's like, Joshua, cut it out. Stop humping that broomstick. Joshua Taylor. Stop humping that broomstick Joshua Taylor Stop humping that broomstick I told you about the word humping We don't like it

Our last one's for Patrick Now I want to get this right Because this is someone's name So let me read it first Wasi... Wasil... Wasi... Wasiluski?

Wasiluski I think you're right Patrick Wasiluski Fromiluski I think you're right Patrick Wasiluski From London in the UK From London I hope that's right You sound like you're from London No disrespect

Let's do your birthday banger Patrick On the 25th of May And you were born in 1993 And on the 25th of May in 2009 You were 16 And this was the number one song Yes, Patrick Banger

I either have my headphones up way too loud Or you played that song so loud, Clint I can't hear anything I think it's just a loud song It's a banger That's my vote for winner this week I played this I played this last week

At my At my big Did it go off? Return to DJing DJ set in Crush Which went off Like And what

Do you do like That song's 12 years old now And it still goes hard Do you get on the mic And you're like Yep Yep You do like

Yep Nah I try not to DJ Danny I fight every urge inside myself not to. Here we go. Ben, can you turn the music bit off that you've got? Anastasia, you festy pest. You'd still get down to this song, right?

Are we recalling a couple years ago on Electric Cab when Dizzy Rascal played? Wow. Brought the house down. Yeah, banger. Ben's going to have a couple of craft beers,

enjoy this tonight by himself. Yeah? Yeah, I'm going to a comedy show tonight, but

yeah. Yeah, well, there's an interlude. Hey everybody, this is your birthday banger. Here you go

Patrick! For Patrick Wait, the drop will catch you off guard Bonkers Nice Have a great weekend everybody One more week with Caitlin And then Bree's back

In a week's time From her secret TV show That's not a secret From anyone who listens To the podcast See you guys next week Here's the podcast. Hey, Siri, when are Brie and Clint on?

Brie and Clint are on air in five, four, three, two. What a way to start the weekend. G'day everybody. Welcome to the show. Bree and Clint with Caitlin Fillion and it's a Friday afternoon. Hi Caitlin. Happy Friday. Happy Friday.

Oh, feels good. Feels good. Happy birthday to George Harrison from the Beatles. Huh. I thought I'd start the show with a celebrity birthday and that's the only way I could find. I was really hoping for like a Dua Lipa or something like that, but you know. Huh. I thought I'd start the show with a celebrity birthday and that's the only one I could find. I was really hoping for like a Dua Lipa or something like that, but you know. Yeah. You can't.

Well. You get what you give them. He's still alive, isn't he? No, not at all. Oh, no. I'm so sorry. I don't know who the Beatles are. Yeah, that makes it better.

Ringo Starr. Ringo Starr is still alive. The voice of Thomas the Tank Engine. Is it? better. Bringo Star. Bringo Star is still alive. The voice of Thomas the Tank Engine. Is it? Yeah. The fuck controller. Today on the show, we want to give you $20,000 with ZM's Secret Sound. There have been guesses all day today,

and you can increase your chances by going and looking at all of the incorrect guesses on the ZM Secret Sound Instagram page. That's the best way to keep up to date with us. Just follow it and then it'll go straight into your feed. Easy as. Has your thinking changed at all on what the secret sound is, Caitlin? No, because no one's guessed mine yet. What is your current one? My current and only one is the tin of a tomato sauce being opened.

Oh, that's right. Yeah. Because you did all the logic. You're like Greg's, Greg's, Greg a tomato sauce being opened. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Because you did all the logic. You're like Gregg's, Gregg's, Gregg's tomato sauce. But the Gregg's clue is the wrong spelling of Gregg's. But still, you know, Soundkeeper Owls is probably quite tricky. Yeah.

I think she's, yeah. Probably trying to throw you off. I think so. Well, if you want to use Caitlin's guess or your own guess, wait till four o'clock. The Activator's going to play at about five to 4, and you'll have your shot at it. Let's start, though, with Tradie vs. Lady.

Free and Clint. Tradie vs. Lady. It's your chance to win $50 cash for the weekend. Oh, my God. The world would be your oyster this weekend if you had $50 cash. You could get Maccas on the way home tonight and tomorrow night. Yeah, wow. You could get...

You could buy a cool water pistol for the weekend to have fun with your friends. You could get all the KFC your flat needs. You could, you know? Yeah, there's a lot you could do. You could buy a present for your cat. The Zingerburgers are on me. If you want to win it, 0800DIALZM.

Call us now and you can play Tradie vs Lady and win that 50 bucks cash. After some more Friday jams, here's my chem on ZM. You're gonna clean up your looks. Bree and Clint. Bree and Clint. Tradie vs Lady. Found the right button eventually. Okay, fifty dollars cash on the line if you can beat the game caitlin tell them how it works we have two people on the line right now one is a tradie one is a lady they go head to head and one of the most trickiest games that is now out because I come up with five questions

and they have to answer the first to three. It's most tricky for Caitlin. Okay, first person here to play. Our lady is 37 and she can shake her eyes. Buzzy, welcome Serena. Hello. Hi, Serena. You can shake your eyeballs.

I do. I can shake your eyeballs. I do. I can shake my pupils. I tried to do a cross-eyed once, and they just continued to shake. And so now I tell my nieces and nephews every time they pull a face, I say, don't be doing that. The wind will change, and you'll end up like this. Yeah, right. Okay, let's meet the man who's taking on your shaky eyes.

He's 33. He's a dairy farmer, and's meet the man who's taking on your shaky eyes. He's 33. He's a dairy farmer, and he is the best hunter ever. Welcome our tradie, the Coos. Hey, Coos. Hello, Coos. Coos. Coos. Yo, best hunter ever.

Yo. Yo, Coos. This is a real disaster if Coos doesn't answer. Kuz best hunter ever yo Kuz this is a real disaster if Kuz doesn't answer it's like he's just like Kuz are you there Kuz

are you aware that the game has started yeah mate yeah alright are you with us you're going to deduct points for being late right

here we go Kuz your buzzer is tradie. Serena, your buzzer is lady. First to three points wins. Good luck, everybody. Okay, question number one. Joseph Parker faces off against Junior Farr tomorrow night. What's one rule that you cannot do in boxing?

Tradie. Tradie. Kooz. Kooz. Knee in the eyes. Yeah, knee in the eyes. We'll take that. Knee in the eyes. Yeah, knee in the eyes. We'll take that. Knee in the eyes, yeah.

Definitely cannot do that. Question number two. You can't do it in Boston. Fair enough, Coos. He's onto it. All right. It was announced today that Mr. Potato Head is going to be made a gender-neutral brand, so it will just be Potato Head.

What's something that you can make with potatoes? Potato. Serena. Serena. Serena, yeah. Yeah. Scallop potatoes. Yeah, they'll do. Yeah.

I was literally going to take anything because you can make anything with potatoes. Chippies. Right. A streaker at the Cricket Easter today in Dunedin made a great escape down a bank before he was caught by police. He still had one item of clothing on. What was it? Socks, Tati.

Yeah. Coos. Yeah, we'll take it. It was socks. We'll take it, we'll take it. He also had one shoe on. Okay, right, so two to Coos and one to Serena. You can win the game here, Coos.

Good luck, everybody. Speaking of Dunedin, a man in Dunedin has been caught trying to steal a pie by putting it down his pants. What must you always do with a pie? Lady. Serena. Yeah, blow on the pie.

There it is. Coos, you had the right answer, but you didn't use your buzzer. Welcome to tie-break, everybody. Next correct answer wins the game. KJ Arpa has absolutely blasted New Zealand in an interview saying that he never wanted to stay here because of

the tall poppy syndrome. What New Zealand show did he start his career on? Serena. Shoreland Street. You've done it, Serena. Shoreland Street. She's a lady. Oh, oh, oh, she's a lady. You've done it, Serena. You've taken down the Coos and won 50 bucks cash. Amazing.

Sorry, Coos, back to the dairy farm, brother. Sorry, Coos. Thanks, lady. Good sportsmanship in the Chady vs. Lady arena today. So much concentration there from both of them. It was great. Bree and Clint. Friday afternoon, and I've got a bit of a scandalous story

about Kanye and the whole Kim Kardashian breakup thing. Okay. And I feel like for the first time ever, Kim and Kanye might have done something relatable here. You know? Right. There's not much they do that's There's not much they can do. Remember when Kim did a happy birthday post to one of her kids

and she gave the kid like a Clydesdale or something? Oh, my God. She's like, my child needs to grow up with a horse. And Kanye did a happy birthday congratulations message welcoming Kim into the Billionaires Club. Oh, my God. And then North is just like this artist. Yeah.

Oh, don't get me started on the painting. No, this is to do with their divorce. Kanye, because they are getting divorced, by the way. That's been confirmed. It's real. It's over. O-V-A-H. It's over.

She filed for divorce. Yeah, and that's important. She's leaving him. Yeah. By all accounts, he was keen to stick it out and be on season 43 of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, but she's not keen. Kanye has reportedly been trying to sell some jewellery

that he's given Kim during the relationship, and apparently he was spotted at at least two jewellery shops with stuff to sell just before the divorce was, like Kim went in and applied for the actual divorce. Is he worried that she's going to get all the money? I don't know. I don't know if it's that or if it's like, you know how there's, sometimes in a relationship there's like a vengeful period?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where you're like, well, if you don't want to be with me, then you're not going to keep this Pandora bracelet that I gave you. That I bought you. She's like, I had the bracelet before the relationship. He's like, but I bought you six charms. So I'm keeping those. To give you some perspective on the type of jewellery

that we're talking about, Kim's engagement ring alone, which Kanye definitely gave her, is a 15 carat diamond and it cost between 3 and 4 million US dollars. That is disgusting. It is disgusting.

And I know I said this is relatable, that bit's not relatable. But possibly selling some stuff from your relationship, relatable. So she obviously gave it back to him or did he like go in and was like, we're not divorced yet, I'm taking this. I don't know

if he was taking the ring in specifically. I'm just using the ring as an example of the type of jewellery that exists in a relationship. He would have given her bracelets and other stuff. I mean, a whole jewellery shop probably. Maybe one of those Apple watches with the gold strap.

I reckon he gave her a grill too. I reckon that's something that he would give Kim Kardashian. And Kim's like, thanks, I love it. I'm not going to wear it right now, but I've totally, totally. Totally wear it later and I will not swap it for something else. We want to know this afternoon, what did you sell from the breakup? Like, did you have something that they gave you and you're like, I hate you now. I don't want to be reminded of you.

So I'm going to sell this thing you gave me. Yeah. Or even better, did they leave something at your place after the breakup and you're like, screw you, Daddy-O. I'm going to sell your Pokemon cards. Yeah. It's mine now and I don't want it. So I'm going to sell your Pokemon cards. Yeah. It's mine now and I don't want it, so I'm selling it. Exactly right.

Tell us. Tell us what you sold. How much money did you make? How much money did you make? Did they come looking for it afterwards and you're like, too slow? You're like, I don't possibly know where your car went. Yeah, I'll look for it, but I haven't seen it. It's gone.

Not for a bit. 0800 dials to them or text us on 9696. Bree and Clint. Turns out Kanye's been plundering the family jewellery cabinet just before the breakup happens. Yeah. He's been taking, according to sources, taking jewels down to the pawn shop and flucking them off,

which I didn't think he would need to do. I thought he's right. No, but maybe you're right. Maybe it's a vengeance thing. Maybe he's like, you can't have them anymore. Well, if you don't want me, then you don't want this choker necklace. My expensive jewelry. We have had some amazing texts through.

Lots of people in Kanye's boat Speaking of boats, sorry That was a really lame segue But this person sold her partner's Her ex's boat And said that she was looking after her I got it for eight Oh, I said I got it for $8,000

But actually got it for $25,000 That will teach him for cheating on me Wait, she sold his boat for $25,000 $25,000 And told will teach him for cheating on me. She sold his boat for $25,000. $25,000. And told him that she got eight. Yeah. So probably only had to, if they maybe went halves, maybe gave him four. And she played dumb.

She's like, I don't know what boats cost. Meanwhile, she's pocketed like $15,000. Whoa. That's badass. That's badass. I like that. Nikki's here. Hi, Nikki.

Hi. What did you sell from the here. Hi, Nikki. Hi. What did you sell from the breakup? I sold my engagement ring. Good on you. Nice, nice. Okay, what was your engagement ring worth? How much did he pay for it? I got $100 for it and I threw a going away party.

Yeah, good for you. It wasn't me. Do you know what the ring was worth originally? Originally, it was a couple of hundred. Yeah, right. Yeah. And he wasn't there. Do you know what the ring was worth originally? Originally, it was a couple of hundred. Yeah, right. Yeah. Not bad then. Not bad.

100 bucks. Suck on that. He's gone. Is that how you feel about it too? You're not invited to my party. Yeah. Yep. Yep.

That was it. It was all my friends and it paid for the alcohol. Love it. Nikki, good stuff. This person wants to be anonymous. Hello, anonymous female. Hello. Hey, guys.

Hello. What did you sell from the breakup? I sold a car. My boyfriend was a mechanic, and he bought the car for 500 bucks and did it up for me to drive. And then we broke up. We didn't really talk,

so I sold the car in parts, including a subwoofer and a sub, and I made two grand. Man. Well done. Did he come looking for, and I made two grand. Man. Well done. Did he come looking for any of that money? No. I don't think he knew I sold it.

Yeah, fair enough. He must have been so impressed. He would have been like, oh, man, my girlfriend used to be so cool. She knows how to sell parts. She had a subwoofer. Yeah. Which I still had that girlfriend and that subwoofer. Sucks to be him.

Finally, Steve. Hey, Steve. How are you guys? Clint, how are you doing today? be him. Finally, Steve. Hey, Steve. How are you guys? Clint, Cleeton, how are you doing today? We're going good, Steve. Hello, we're good. Happy Friday. What did you sell from the breakup?

It wasn't actually me. It was a friend of mine that I knew over in the States. Yeah. Right. Her husband cheated on her with his PA. Right. Classic. Oh, yeah, big classic.

Yeah. Sent her an email to say, sell all my stuff and send me the money. I'm not coming home. So she did. She sold his Porsche Carrera for a dollar. Sold his watch for a dollar. Sold basically everything that he had. And he had expensive taste.

She sold everything for a dollar each. Sent him the money. And he tried to sue her for theft, but she had his email saying sell my stuff. It just didn't say what the price he wanted for it. That is incredible. She sold his Porsche for a dollar. Sold his Porsche for a dollar, yep.

I like that because she's gone, this impacts me, because she could have got some money out of it too, but she's gone. The revenge is going to be sweeter than any money I could possibly get. Oh that's so good. Absolutely. Oh my god I need to go and hang out in the fancy suburbs of Auckland on the

weekends and hopefully there's some like angry wife who's been cheated on who's like the BMW you want it? 50 cents, take it off my hands that's my dream That's amazing. I'd get so much joy out of that spike car. It'd be fantastic. Hey, thanks, Steve.

Great call, man. Have a great weekend. Cheers, guys. You have a great weekend, too. Bree and Clint. Time for the latest. From iHeartRadio. This is the latest.

Live from LA with Steve McCarthy. Steve, this story I said before is quite upsetting and quite shocking to do with Lady Gaga and her dogs. What's the latest? This is so crazy. So last night in Hollywood, Lady Gaga's dog walker had taken her three French bulldogs for a walk. The dog walker was shot four times and two of the dogs were taken. The other dog ran off and actually was later found actually by Lady Gaga's bodyguard.

But the two other dogs were taken away lady gaga this is so well has put a five hundred thousand dollar reward no questions asked reward and you can even find the email online she's they've set up an email like a gmail account um for any information but so apparently look so here's the thing the lapd do not think that the that the dog thieves actually knew it was Lady Gaga's dog. Right, okay. They don't think it was that sophisticated. But these dogs are just super expensive and very in demand,

and they were just stolen just to happen to be Lady Gaga's. How's the dog walker? Yeah. Has he survived? He was shot four times. Is he alive? He's alive, yep. Okay, he's alive.

Yeah, he's alive. He got shot four times. Yeah. He's He's alive, yep. Okay, he's alive. Yeah, he's alive. Yeah, he's alive. He got shot four times. Yeah. He's like the 50 Cent of dog walkers. Wild. So wild. And half a mil.

Half a mil reward no questions asked. Then that's for the dogs. That's not for information leading to an arrest, right? That's so that she can get her dogs back? No questions asked.

She just wants the dogs back. Doesn't care. Doesn't want to hear. Doesn't want to try and catch them. Just get the dogs back 500 grand. That's doesn't want to hear, doesn't want to try and catch them. Just get the dogs back, 500 grand. That's horrific. And I know that there has been a rise in theft of what you would call designer dogs here in New Zealand.

But nothing like that. Like French Bulldogs and stuff like that, they get targeted here in New Zealand for theft. But to think that that sort of thing is going to happen is just next level. That poor guy, I assume it's a guy. Yes. Poor guy. And poor Lady Gaga too. Great name.

All right. That's the latest on Lady Gaga's stolen dogs with our Hollywood correspondent, Dean McCarthy. Brianne Clint. So this woman has taken to TikTok to describe this huge secret that her parents told her when she was 12. Right. So they told her that because there was this Right. So they told her that, because there was this addict, there was this little door,

this addict in the middle of their house. Are you saying addict or attic? Attic. Attic. Did I say addict? Yeah, attic. Sorry, attic. You know, like a hole in the roof.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I thought you meant. Attic. Sorry. Attic. Sorry. Attic, I will pronounce better. And she was like, what's that door for, Mum and Dad?

And they said that it was a room that had all these Christmas and birthday presents in it and that's why she couldn't go in it and that's why it was locked. Whoa. First big mistake. She's 12. Of course she's going to go and find another door to get in there and find all the birthday and Christmas presents. Yeah.

If you're hiding something, you've never made it sound more desirable than what you've just done. Exactly. So she ended up crawling around the back of the house and through this door up through and finding a door that was not locked so she could find out what was inside this attic. Here's what she found. When I was 12 years old, I lived in a house that was a one and a half story. My bedroom was upstairs and there was an attic on each end of the hallway. Here's what she found. Very, very well lit room. Full of what looked like a jungle of odd plants that I had never seen before. So I picked a leaf and took it to my sixth grade science teacher so he could tell me what it was.

And it was weed. It was weed. Her parents were 420. Do people still say that? 420. 420. Wow. That's why I had to clarify whether you were saying addict or attic. Oh, sorry. Attic. Wow. That's why I had to clarify whether you were saying addict or attic.

Oh, sorry. Attic. Wow. So she found out that her parents were drug dealers. Yeah, or maybe just growing it recreationally. But, you know, there was quite a bit. There was, yeah. So.

Either way. They bad. Her parents. They bad. Badass parents. Yeah. Have you ever found out anything like that about your parents? Anything salacious?

Anything dubious? Anything that made you go, oh my God, you're not the straighty 180s that I thought you were. My mum told me once that she just drinks in front of her friends to be cool. And I was like, yeah, right, mum. So that's pretty much as bad as it gets. Yeah, right. Yeah. What about you?

Nah. My parents are pretty, like mum's a teacher. Yeah. And dad was a badass back in his day. But more just like a regular motorbike riding goofball kind of badass. Yeah, right. And dad's always been out there because he always had bikes. And it was almost the opposite because he was like,

I love bikes. I love living wild and free. And mum's like, you bloody well don't. You need to put that bike on. Not on my watch. You need to put that bike on Trade Me. You need to calm yourself down. He's like, it used to be bad to the bone.

I reckon we can put this out there this afternoon, though, and find out whose parents were actually bad to the bone. When did you find out and what did you find out about your parents? What was, like, really juicy? What were you like, that is not the parents that I know and grew up with. Yeah, maybe it's really juicy. Maybe you found out your parents were swingers You know Yeah That's the sort of thing

I'm thinking about Yeah yeah yeah Or maybe you found out That your parents Like go to Raves You know Yeah

Maybe they're like Super cool Yeah since you moved out They stay out on K Road In Auckland until 3am Who knows We can keep you anonymous If you don't want your parents

To know that you know But we'd love to have you Call this afternoon On 0800 dialDARLS-ZM. You can text your stories to 9696. When did you find out that your parents were bad to the bone? Bree and Clint. We want to know about your badass parents. Caitlin just told us a story about a girl who caught up into the attic

and found out that her parents were growing weed. After they told her she couldn't go in there because it was filled with presents. Yeah, well it was filled with presents, just not for her. Silly, silly parents. And hey, here in New Zealand, we have some bad parents. It's weird to think of you, and I mean this with all due respect,

it's weird to think of your parents as people who do bad things and good things and make mistakes and all that kind of stuff and live lives that aren't just being role models. But you're a parent and you still do stuff. I don't do anything, Caitlin. No, no, but I mean like you drink sometimes. Yeah, totally. That's what I mean.

You still kiss your wife. Our parents don't even, my parents never kiss. My parents never do that. But they have. I guess what I mean is, of course they do. You just don't think about it as one of their children. So we want to know what you've found out about your parents this afternoon. Yeah, there's a text in saying that I was in my mid-20s

and my sister and I discovered that our mum had a female friends with benefits. Your mum had one? Dad was apparently all good with it too, for a bit. I'll bet dad was all good with it. Dad liked it. Whoa. How did they find out?

How did it come up? Maybe they walked in, I'm not sure. This one is very stressful. Okay, I found out before the 660 concert that my mum was just as bad as I was and does MDMA at concerts. No! What?

Mum's on the pingers. What? Whoa. Oh my God. Mum, if you're listening, I hope you're being responsible. We're not encouraging it. Go to the pill testing site, please. Yeah, and just...

I hope mom's not on the bath salts. That stresses me out so much. Let's go to anonymous. This person needs to remain anonymous. Hello. Hello. Hey, how you doing? Good.

When did you find out that your parents were bad to the bone? Well, the old man took me out the back of the garden one day to plant some plants. Yeah. Right. And I was about four or five this time. And yeah, let's just say they're not tomato plants. I love that you're four or five. You're like, Daddy, can I try some?

No. Does Dad still have a decent garden going? No, no, no, not at all. Oh, he's seen the error of his ways and calmed himself down. Either that or he's got better at hiding it because he knows that you're now a narc. And you ring radio stations and tell people about it. This person also wants to remain anonymous.

Hello, anonymous. Hello. Hello. Oh, hi. Hi. When did you find out that your parents were bad to the bone? Okay, well, it's really wild, but my mum was on the interpolis

because she went missing in Spain for like three months. What the hell? Your mum was wanted by the International Police Service. Okay, well, she didn't call home for three months, so her parents got really worried. Was she okay? Oh, yeah, no, she was cool. She was living it up large in some Spanish nightclub,

like a family friend rang all the nightclubs and spoke in Spanish and found her. Your mum can never get angry at you for coming home after curfew. A hundred percent. And she is so cool. I mean, I know that's not very good, but that's pretty cool. Your mum's lived a life, you know? I know.

You'd never think it looking at it, but you're just like, wow, mum. That's what I mean. Do you understand what I mean when you say you don't think of your parents as being people before they were your parents she was just overseas

living her best life yeah and she's like you're so naughty and then you're like mum you're like mum

I'm going on a contiki and mum's like boring why don't you go missing for half a year anonymous number three welcome to the show hello

when did you find out your parents were bad I was a teenager and I was going Nonomish number three, welcome to the show. Hello. When did you find out your parents were b-b-b-b-bad? I was a teenager and I was going through my mum's, like, side table next to her bed trying to find something. Oh, no. And I found photos of them with some of their other couple friends having adult time.

Mum's a swinger! Wow. You poor thing! Now, let's not shame your parents. No, no, no, but I mean having to see that. But can we talk about the photos? Because I imagine your parents are boomers and those photos would have had to been taken on a real camera and then taken into New World to get developed those photos would have had to been taken on a real camera and then taken into New World

to get developed and someone would have had to see those photos when they were getting them developed and then she stored the photos from the party. That's the weirdest bit Anonymous. Yes, that is the weirdest bit. Like, I don't know. I was a teenager and I was just like, and I can't even look at those photos. Have you guys ever talked about it?

Have you guys ever talked about it? Oh God, no. I just pretended that I don't know. at those things. Have you guys ever talked about it? Have you guys ever talked about it? Oh, God, no. I just pretended that I don't know. Oh, my God. Sally and David are coming over for dinner tonight, and you're like, I'm busy. I'm going out. I'm going out. I can't do it.

I've got to go. Sorry, sorry, Mum. That's wild. That's incredible. There's one text that you have to read out before we finish. Finally. Actually, I'm the parent. This is what the text has said.

And my kids don't know that in 1974, I posed for Playboy. Go mum. Get it, mum. Yeah, girl. I hope mum has a copy of that in the house somewhere You know? Yeah And hasn't like not kept it Because she didn't want the kids to find it

When are you ever going to get to do that again, right? I know, she should have it on the wall And be like, just don't look Just don't look If you've got a problem with it, don't look Yeah, yeah You came out of that, okay? Tell me what you really like

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pods. Bree and Clint. Hasbro, the toy company, have made a decision today and they've announced it, that Mr. Potato Head is no longer going to be a Mr. They are creating a gender neutral

toy which is now no longer Mr. or Mrs. Potato Head, it is Potato Head. So it's been like that for the last 70 years. I think this is a toy that's been around for years. And obviously, with the evolving of culture, they have decided that this is, by calling it Mr. and Mrs.,

it is limiting it to when it comes to both gender, identity, and family structure for when kids are playing with these toys. So it's just potato head. And it's just potato head. And I congratulate them, I think. You're into it? You think that's a good idea? Yeah, ka pai.

Awesome. Let's include everyone. Let's make everyone feel comfortable. I've seen that some people, and there will always be some people, who have kicked off about this and they're like. Oh, of course. Like Piers Morgan, who you expect to kick off about anything, who's come out and been like, this is ridiculous.

What has the world come to? Like Simon Bridges would come out like he did this week and he'd go, this is woke. This is too woke. My favourite is they say, what next? What next? To that I say, potatoes don't have a gender. So the fact that you're willing

The fact that you're willing to put your reputation On the line and defend the gender Of a potato with a moustache Says more about you Than it says about The potato head corporation Exactly You're like what next

What next for you bro Pick your friggin' battles. Like, how in the world does this possibly affect you? I know! Why are you so upset? This is my favourite line from people who get offended by this stuff too. They're like, it's an attack

on families. If you think it's an attack on families, you should have married a potato, and you should have raised a family of potatoes and then you would have a leg to stand on. This one, it's a very small concession that we can make as a people to go, you know what, not everybody conforms to male or female, you know. Exactly.

There is so many. Yeah, I just think. Well done, Clint. Thank you for saying that. Genders. I attended Mr. Potato Head's wedding in 1974. What am I meant to tell my kids? Potatoes do not have genders. That's well said.

Brian Clint. Hi. Hello. So picture this. You're in Dunedin, and perhaps you went to the cricket yesterday. Oh, yeah. Am I a student in this? I don't really know.

Let's not age this person. Am I a young and cool DMB frother in my first year studying sports science? You be who you want to be. Okay, that's who I am. This is you. Okay, cool. I live in the Nitro flat on Castle Street. That's you.

Okay, what's your name? Cool. Dwavid. David, cool. Dwavid. David. David. Dwavid. David. Okay.

No, cooler. Something cooler. Chad. Like Seth. Seth. Yeah, Seth. Okay. All right, Seth.

You've just had Thirsty Thursday after the cricket because we won. Yeah, chair boy. Yeah, chair boy. Back to my flat. Yeah. Well, it's 2.26 in the morning and you're like, oh, man, I need to eat something. What are you going to eat? Classic me. Probably a pie. Yeah, well it's 2.26 in the morning and you're like, man, I need to eat something. What are you going to eat? Classic me. Probably a pie. Yeah. Now, if you don't have the money,

what are you going to do with, how are you going to get that pie? Are you going to be a good human? Because I'm a Pavo student and I spent all my student loan on nitros. Yeah, yeah. I don't know how I'm going to get the pie. I don't know. You're probably just going to be a really good person

because you're a good person, Seth, and you're going to say, bummer, I'll go home and cook some fries that I have in the freezer. Okay, I'll do that. But this guy, and now we're back to the real story. That was just,

we were just doing some ad-libbing. That was just like a little play for you to get in the mood. I'm impressed with me having the foresight to have fries at home, by the way. Oh, always have some fries in the freezer. Very unlike me, Seth, the first year DMB frother, to have anything in the freezer. You've got to make sure you've got the tomato sauce as well.

So this is actually a real story and it happened in Dunedin. This guy really wanted a pie, so he put it down his pants in an attempt to steal it. This is a real story that happened in Dunedin. This is a real story that happened at 2.26am this morning at a night and day. Wow. If I was going to steal a pie, I can't think of a worse place to put it than down my pants.

So hot. So hot. So hot. So hot. And if you're wearing tight, because men have a bit of a gap, so it could fall down the leg, right, unless you're wearing tight jeans.

Men have a gap, but men also have an extremity down there that is likely to come in contact with the pie. You're talking about your penis? Yeah, or testicles. Oh, or testicles. Okay. Well, anyway, they caught him. The police caught him and they were like no, no, no.

No, no. We know there is a pie in your pants. Boys, frisk him. And the guy's like, please don't, it's so hot Please Please don't frisk me I'm guilty, take me away I can physically see If you frisk me, you're going to spill

boiling hot cheese onto my gonads Cheese and mints Unfortunately as well the senior sergeant Who was on the case Said that It was unsellable After they found the pie Oh 100%

I hope that he was In the pants Yeah Yeah so He returns to the night and day You know what He's like Stop recovering fellas

Back on the shelf Where's this cop In this story Where's this cop When you need him Always blowing the pie Safe communities together You know

Where's that guy? It could have been him. It could have been him. Although in that case, I'm not putting my hand up to blow on the pie. Don't blow on, yeah, don't in that region. Don't do that. Bree and Clint. We were talking about this the other day,

and we realised that everyone has this part of their history that no one talks about. Yeah. And some of us have shared history, but we don't know that because we don't talk about it, you know? Yeah. And it was something that I actually thought like was the same for everyone, but it's obviously

not part of the curriculum. Like anyone can choose. It's very regionally specific. Yeah. But I think there is crossover. Within New Zealand, there is crossover in some areas. The thing we're talking about is the song that you used to sing at school. And the reason you probably don't talk about it is because it was so etched into your brain

and you want to forget about it because it's all you ever did is sing that song. School singing on reflection is the weirdest thing, eh? Is that they just bring like 400 kids into a room who can't sing and you're like, okay guys. And I imagine these days, because I haven't been at school for a while, I imagine there's like a projector or something or maybe like a big screen TV, I don't know. But when I was at school,

they brought out the overhead projector. With the lyrics? The OHP and they put the OHT on the OHP and it projected it up on the thing. And it was one teacher's job to whip the OHT off and put the new lyrics on when the verse changed remember that bit and you had and sometimes they put the sheet on upside down and the words are out there backwards there's just so much pressure for a the teachers but also for you

trying to stand there and sing and you're like oh my gosh well i was at an all girls school but when i was at um a boys and girls school i, oh my gosh, he's like listening to me and he can hear me singing and I'm really bad. Yeah. Not me. I was a songstress. I was like,

I was out there going, bright eyes, burning like a fire. You know, I really tried to finesse. Was that your school song? Yeah, it was one of them.

What is it? Okay, so tell me what, have we got a song of yours or we can't find it? So that's at primary school and we didn't know what the song was but all our parents were like, oh my god, that's from the movie

Watership Down. I've never seen it. It's one of those 80s I don't know. Apparently it's about rabbits. I don't know. One of the songs we sang in school. I also went to a very Catholic school so some of the songs were very religious and I've got a feeling that our overly passionate RE teacher

Mr Parker, there were a lot of originals. I think he wrote them. I think so. So I'm not going to use any of those because they're not relatable. That's not how that works either. That's not how RE works. But one of our school songs, do you know the song that goes

and because we're going to ask you guys to sing it. One of my songs was Lean on me But one of our school songs, do you know the song that goes, because we're going to ask you guys to sing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of my songs was, Lean on me when you're not strong And I'll be your friend Yeah, this song here. Lean on me when you're not strong Which is very cute for a bunch of primary school kids to sing. Super cute, super cute. Because they don't know kids to sing. Super cute.

Because they don't know anything about leaning on each other. We just thought that you were tired. Which you're like... Yeah. Yours was good and I think yours is quite relatable. What was your school song? Yeah, because I also went to an all girls school and so I think they thought

maybe we could all sing and there was that brother sister let me that was a very religious song but then we had this one which I just realised was by Bette Midler Some say love it is a river

we never knew to start that I'll take the song out. Do you remember the words? Because in some chorus it was like, Some say love, it is a river. And then it was like, Some say love, it is a flower.

And so you'd always be like, Some say love, it is a river. Because you're like, yeah. There's got to be a teacher who picks the songs. And I hope that now that we are the age that we could be teachers in schools, there's some teacher in there who's like, you know what? Screw it. Let's do Cardi B.

Yeah, the kids are going to sing WAP. No, not WAP. That's inappropriate. Not WAP. That's inappropriate. No, but they're like Bodak Yellow. But like Beyonce or, you know, someone. Yeah, yeah.

Or Uptown Funk or something like that. I would love to know if there are some school teachers listening and what songs are sung at school these days. That would be cool too. Yeah. And then we can do like the old school and then, yeah. Which one do you want to do? Do you want to do that one or do you want to know what people's school song was?

Well, no. Oh, shivers. Okay, sorry. I've gone rogue. I know you've gone rogue, but they're both good ideas. I know. Let's stick with what we were going to do and maybe we can do the other one next week. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We want to know this afternoon on 0800 dial ZDM, what was your school song? Bonus points if you're willing to sing it to us. Yeah. Okay.

And, and we'll try and find it and track it down and play it. Yeah. And give you all the feels and the nostalgia. If there was a song that was specifically sung at your school every time, not necessarily the song that had your school name in it because there are some of those like we mean more like

a popular song that you guys always sung and all the parents had to come and listen to you and you're like some say love 0800 dial ZM you can't text this one, oh no you can text if you're really nervous but we'd love you to call

with your school song this afternoon. Get in touch. Let's go. Caitlin's here filling in for Bree while Bree's off shooting a TV show. And we want to know what's the song that you sung at school? Because there's major throwback vibes in this and no one's exploring it. Yeah, it's really given me so much

nostalgia. And thank you so much for all the texts and the calls that are coming through. It's actually getting me a little bit overwhelmed from remembering primary school as well. Not just high school. I forget about primary school. Clint, do you remember? Fish and chips. Yeah, fish and chips.

Make me want to lick my lips. Eat them for... Oh, hang on. Eat them for breakfast, lunch and tea. Fish and chips are for me. That's the one I just had a little injury with my look, but I'm all good. I'm back. I thought you salivated too much at the thought of fish and chips. That's a banger. People are texting in their school songs. This makes me happy that this is one that's come through. Can you imagine a whole school hall full of kids belting this out?

That's good. And the bit where they all go hard on the Jeremiah was a bullfrog. And they'd have moves, they'd have little dances that they had to do and everyone would be so pumped. It's a special time. Alex is here. Hi, Alex.

Hi. What's the song that you guys sang at school? No, don't tell us. Sing it to us. Yeah, sing it to us. Okay. Kiwi kids are rocking it, rocking it. Kiwi kids are talking.

Kiwi kids are living it,wi kids are laughing at us. Alex, you are nailing that. That's beautiful. Alex, I've never heard that song before in my life. Neither have I. But you singing it makes me want to learn it. You have heard it because I sung it to you at the Wellington karaoke thing that you guys did. Did you?

Oh, my God. I sang it to you guys and I was drunk. Well, I was drunk too, so. That's amazing. Okay, Alex, you're awesome. Love that one. Another text has come through for one that someone's school song was. It was this. Now, let's attack this in two parts.

Yeah. First of all, emotional banger. It really is. Second of all, hasn't aged well. We do not like him. Do not endorse R. Kelly, unfortunately. Claire's here. Hey, Claire.

Hello. Hello. What was your school song? And don't tell us. Don't tell us. Okay. I'm putting up at the pub to do this. Yeah, go on.

Are you ready? Yeah, we're ready. We're waiting. Everybody's doing a brand new dance now. Come on, baby. Do the locomotion. Yes, Claire. Come on, come on.

Do the locomotion with me. What? What is this song even about? Do the locomotion. We did it at camp, and there was this boy I really liked, and he was called Blaze White, and he got to put his arms on my hair back and do the locomotion. It was pretty cool.

Oh, yes. Caitlin's so right, though, Claire, right? No lyrics to any song are as burnt into your brain as the song that you sung at school, eh? You'll never forget. I don't even know. No matter what happens on your deathbed, you'll be like, come on, come on.

Cool, thank you, Claire, that's good. Someone's texted and said this is the song they sang at school. Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet? Did you finally get the chance? Cool school. On the light of day Get back to the Milky Way Very cool school.

And very trusting that people can hit those notes and carry it on. Yeah, I'm not going to lie. Kids would have butchered that song. Olivia's here. Hi, Olivia. Hi. What was the song that you guys sang at school?

And again, don't tell us. You've got to sing it to us. Sing it. Hi, Olivia. Hi. What was the song that you guys sang at school? And again, don't tell us. You've got to sing it to us. Sing it. Oh, my God. I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly. I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky. This song holds a special place in Caitlin's history. I don't know if you know this, but I know this is about you, Caitlin.

This is your song. Olivia, this is my song. This is my song when I knew I had to get out of Philly and go to a big city like Christchurch where there was big windows and sky buildings. It was so exciting. I spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly. I'll do what it takes till I...

Caitlin, knowing what you know about this song in your life, can you imagine 400 kids singing this song? Like a chorus of children singing it to you? Like everyone's just crying. Everyone's just absolutely sobbing. That's good. Liv, what was the school? Amazing.

Olivia. Olivia, what was the school? What was the school that sang this? She's busy crying. St. Peter's Chanel in Hamilton. Love it. Olivia, what was the school? What was the school that sang this? She's busy crying. St. Peter's Chanel in Hamilton. Love it. Oh, beautiful.

Love it. So good. We should ask everybody the school, actually. Let's finish with Bree. Hey, Bree. Hi, Bree. Hello. What's the school? St. Peter and Pool in Lower Hutt.

Okay. We were in the hut. Okay. All right. Big up the hut. Now, don't say it. Don't say it. Sing it.

Reveal it to us in song. You can count on me like one, two, three, I'll be there. Banger, banger. You can count on me like one, two, three. Cute. How old are you, Brie? I'm only 18. You're only 18, yeah.

Because Caitlin and I were wondering this. It's been a while since we were at school and do they sing modern songs now? Seems like they do. Yeah. Yeah. The teachers are really passionate about, like, Netsky. Like, have you guys heard of Netsky?

Okay, kids, it's time to sing Afterglow. Hey, thanks, Brie. Have a great weekend, okay? See you. You too. Can I finish with a couple of things? I don't want to stop this. Go on, go on, go on.

I think you might need to get one of these songs up as well. Oh, sorry. Bye, Brie. Do you remember the nature song by Buttonbirds? Yeah, I know the one, yeah. The Muttonbirds, maybe? The Muttonbirds? Yeah. They've written Buttonbirds. Yeah, I know that song, yeah. The Muttonbirds, maybe? The Muttonbirds? Yeah.

They've written Buttonbirds. Yeah, I know that song. And it was like, how did it start? Yeah, that's a classic. Nature into me. Yeah. And also, this school is so cool. They sung Bon Jovi, Living on a Prayer.

And I can guarantee there were like eight year olds and they probably had their hair spiked up and some like tight jeans on Your teachers are bogging I love it though They're like, I'm eight and I'm living on a prayer, man. Brie and Clint.

Yeah. Hey. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Brie and Clint's birthday banger. Okay, Caitlin's still here filling in for Brie, and we're doing birthday banger. We're finding out the number one song on your 16th birthday,

and the first person playing for Friday is Jacinta. Hey, Jacinta. Hey, Clint. How are you going? Hello, Jacinta. Hi, Caitlin. Are you good? Hello, Jacinta. Hi, Caitlin. Are you good? Hello.

When's your birthday, babes? The 26th of September, 1997. Okay, Jacinta. On the 26th of September in 2013, you were 16, and this was your birthday banger. I got the eye of the tiger. The fire. Dancing through the fire. Banger. Emotional Katy Perry banger. Absolute banger. Emotional Katy Perry banger.

Absolute banger. Do you love it, Jacinda? Love it. It's good, eh? Yeah. See, some people would say you need California girls. Nah, I reckon this is better. No.

This is good. No California girls. This is the best. Okay, cool. You've got a good birthday banger. Wait a minute. Let's get Natalie on. Hi, Natalie.

G'day. How you going? Good. How've got a good birthday banger. Wait there. Let's get Natalie on. Hi, Natalie. G'day. How are you going? Good. How are you? Happy Friday. Thank you. You too. What's your birthday?

It's the 9th of August, 1970. Okay, Natalie. On the 9th of August in 1986, you were 16, and this was the number one song. Her love shines over my horizon. She's a slice of heaven. Dobbo. Yeah, classic. It's a good one. That's huge, eh? Yeah, can't go wrong, eh? Is this 1986? Yeah. Yeah, impressive. Still a classic, still goes hard. It's like a drinking game now, isn't it? No, I think that's Loyal. Oh, Loyal, yes.

But Natalie, to tell you how enduring this is, he literally played that song at R&B this New Year's. That's insane. And it went off, you know? Yeah. Okay, wait there. Let's go to Catherine. Hey, Catherine.

Hello. Hello. Hi, Catherine. When's your birthday? 9th of March, 1988. Okay, Catherine. When's your birthday? 9th of March, 1988. Okay, Catherine. On the 9th of March in 2004, you were 16 and this was the number one song. Speaking of emotional bangers, Scribe and Dreaming.

Do you like it? Yeah Yeah, it is good Yeah Also timeless Couple of Kiwi songs Yeah, very rare for us to get two Kiwi songs in Birthday Banger We were killing it those years Two Kiwi number one

Two Kiwi number one Yeah Okay, wait there Caitlin Katy Perry I'm going to be controversial. Dave Dobbin, Scribe. Because I know what you're going to pick,

so I think we're going to go on a draw. It's okay. But I'm going to be controversial because I just can't go past. I love Dave Dobbin. He's got a special place in my heart. But I can't go past Katy Perry raw. Oh, controversial. Yeah, I know.

I know. I'm sorry. But is it the right vibes? It's all about vibes, right? Because it's Friday. Yeah, it's Horses for Courses. You've got to pick the song for the moment. But then also Dave could do that too.

I don't know. I don't want to pick anymore. No, I know. I'm thinking of people who have knocked off. I'm thinking about this imaginary situation that probably doesn't exist. Like a bunch of tradies who have just finished, I'm thinking about this imaginary situation that probably doesn't exist, like a bunch of tradies who have just finished building for the day

or some mechanics who are kicking back after a long day working on engines and for some reason they've got ZM on. They're like, you know what guys,

let's not listen to Hodaki today, let's listen to the, let's listen to, oh, ZM. Clint Roberts. Freudian stuff and I'm like those guys want to hear

Dave Dobbin so yeah I know they do but then they're also like he's very so hot let's listen to him that's what they listen to they're like

I only listen to music from people who are hot I'm going to go against you I'm going to go Dave Dobbin and today the split vote goes to Anastasia let's put it on her now Spanner in the works

she's from Christchurch, so she probably loves Scribe. You can pick any of the three songs. What is the winner of Birthday Banger today? Despite his appearance at Electric Ave tomorrow, Scribe will be there. It's got to be Dave Dobbin today. Yeah.

Fair. Fair. Look, you did your best. You stood your ground, Caitlin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, all good. All good. You can't beat Dave Dobbin on a Friday.

I feel you. There we go. Who's our winner? Natalie, congrats. You just won Birthday Banger. Very impressive. That's awesome. Thank you.

There we go, New Zealand. Perfect for a Friday. It's Dave Dobbin and it's won Birthday Banger. ZM. ZM Hey, I got a lot of faith in you I'll stick with you, kid, that's off the bottom line Yeah, you have a lot of fun, don't you? And living with you is a ball of a time

Hey, beauty, when the mood gets you down You bottom up some fear, dragging on the ground That's when I gotta play the clown for you Black humor, baby, you kick your boots County Angel Black humor, baby, you kick your boots How did you do? Where did you hide your wings? Her love shines over my horizon She's a slice of heaven

Walk moonlight over my horizon She's a slice of heaven Hey, I got a lot of faith in you I'll stick with you, kid, that's the bottom line Yeah, we have a lot of fun, don't we? Heaven has to be with you all the time Hey, beauty, when the moon gets you down Your bottomless pit, drag it on the ground

That's when I gotta play the clown For ya Blackie look at me Kick my boots How did you do Where did you hide your wings Her love shines over my horizon She's a slice of heaven

Warm moonlight over my horizon She's a slice of heaven Her love shines over my horizon She's a slice of heaven Warm moonlight over my horizon Bye. Howdy angel Where did you hide your wings? Her love shines over my horizon She's a slice of heaven

Warm moonlight over my horizon She's a slice of heaven, slice of heaven Warm moonlight over my horizon She's a slice of heaven, yeah Her love shines over my horizon She's a slice of heaven, yeah Warm moonlight over my horizon She's a slice of heaven, yeah Zeddy and Bree and Clint with Caitlin filling in. Big Dave Dobbin winning birthday banger this afternoon, Slice of Heaven. How timely is this, Caitlin?

Someone's just texted in after we were talking about your school songs. And then that comes up for birthday banger. They said Slice of Heaven was my school song. Of course. And I've been jamming it in my head ever since you guys were talking about it before. What are the chances? What a banger for a Friday. Ten-year-old me is grooving in assembly right now.

Yes. Dave Dobbin won. Sorry, Sir Dave Dobbin, by the way. Sir, yes. He was inducted. Do you know, quick story. This is my quick flex. Just one flex for the day.

Dave Dobbin taught me how to make tea. How and when and where? When I used to work in Wellington, I made him a cup of tea because I was a producer and I said, would you like something to drink? And he said, I'll have a cup of tea. And I made it. And he was like, this is not how you make tea. So then he was like, you've got to take the tea.

How does Dave Dobbin make a tea? I now know, obviously, this is about nine years ago, you have to always take the tea bag out before you put the milk in. Let the tea steep for a little bit. Let it sit there for a minute or so. Take the tea bag out and then put a couple of drops of milk in or how many milk you want. And that's how you make tea, according to Dave Dobbin.

It's changed my life. Yeah, that's how you make tea for Dave Dobbin. Yes. This's how you make tea according to Dave Dobbins. It's changed my life. Yeah, that's how you make tea for Dave Dobbins. Yes. That's how I make tea from now on as well. There'll be some staunch tea baggers in there

who are like, keep the bag in, G. The bag stays. Brie and Clint. Caitlin's here filling in for Brie. One more week, right? You're here for another week

after this? Yes, I'm coming back up to Auckland so I'll be in the studio with you. Nice. I want to use the radio for personal benefit for a second and say congratulations to one of my best friends, Callan, and his partner, Christy, who had their baby this morning, I think.

Their first child arrived. Oh, congratulations. Congratulations, guys. Huge news. Mildly inconvenient for me, this baby arriving. I'm not going to lie. Okay. Just be honest.

Right. We had planned, we'd invented this thing, and I don't know if it's a real thing. We'd invented a thing called a man shower, which is the same as a baby shower, but it's for the man. Because baby showers seem to be exclusively for the mum. Well, the thing is, Clint, is that the mum is holding the baby in her stomach. She's the one that has the sore breasts and the cankles and the pain and the not sleeping. The men genuinely, I mean, I don't want to stereotype, but the men generally get away without any of that pain, don't they?

I understand. I understand. I understand. However, we were looking to take advantage of the opportunity and have a dad's only, men's only man shower. And it was all organized. And the most important bit is, and people who are in a relationship, particularly with kids, will know this feeling. We all had our leave pass approved. We had managed to synchronize calendars.

We'd managed to go, okay, we've all got to do this. We've all managed to get the night off. It was a sleepover because it was out of town too. Dad's on tour. Dad's on tour. I was going to Rotorua. We're going to catch up with everybody. All the dads from around the place were going to converge on this place.

We'd go out to 10 p.m., yeah, yeah. And we'd fall asleep standing up. And it was all done. And then this wonderful child arrived a little bit early, which is a miracle and everybody's happy about it. But it's ruined your week. Or is it? Because I actually haven't told Lucy yet that the baby's been born.

Clint. Do I keep the leave pass? Clint, I know. Do I keep the leave pass? Because she's going to see photos on social media that the baby's already here. What if I get to Rotorua and then I'm like, oh, you won't believe it, babe. I didn't check my phone while I was driving and the baby's been born. I'm already here.

I'm too tired to drive back. Clint, what are you going to do without the rest of the boys? Just sit there in a hotel? Actually, that sounds quite nice. Just be by yourself for a night. Again, people who have kids, doesn't that sound wonderful? Book yourself a motel room for the night and just watch TV.

Poor child is going to grow up and they're going to be like here's Uncle Clint coming to see you. And you're going to be like, hi, you ruined my weekend that one time. Well, if you're listening, baby Rowan, we're glad that you're here. You have a great mummy and daddy and I'll just have to have some beers at home by myself to celebrate there is as i said before some bad news for kiwi men and all of human existence uh coming for us

from 2040 so this epidemiologist dr shanna swan and her team have found about 50% to 60% of a decline of sperm counts between 1973 and 2011. Now, this is in New Zealand, Australia, Europe, and North America. Oh, that's not good. It's not good. And so as it stands, it's a current trend. So it's set, because it's been going down for all those years, it's been set to hit zero between 2040 and 2045. Now, Clint, I don't know if you know much about how babies are born.

Well, I don't know if you know how I live, Caitlin, but I do, evidently. Oh, you know, okay. I've got 1.5. Just a refresh for those. You need the sperm. You need the sperm. Now, fortunately for us, fortunately for me, this is not seen in the studies that they did on men in South Africa, Asia and Africa. No, I think maybe they just think there's not enough data in those regions.

But because I was like, okay, so what do we need to do? In 2040, there's going to be a boom in children born called Francois. Just like lots of hot men coming over. So I think what they've done is they've tried to see if it's due to genetics or whether it's something that you as men are doing that you need to stop doing so you can preserve your sperm. Are we putting our balls too close to the microwave when we're making meat luring? Well, it's actually funny. So they agree it's not genetics, but it could be due to some environmental and lifestyle factors,

including effects of pesticides, cosmetics, foam furniture, paper plates, work stress, fatty food, processed food, and packaging. So the standouts are foam furniture and paper plates. Yeah. If you're living in a flatting situation at the moment as a dude and you're eating off paper plates so you don't have to do dishes and you're sitting on a cheap Kmart couch, you are basically infertile. You've got to check yourself and make sure that the spermies are okay.

Let me come at this from a purely selfish point of view for a second, Caitlin. I have one beautiful child with my wonderful wife we have another wonderful child due in one month amazing after that not keen for any more children oh okay yep at the moment i have voluntarily suggested that i go and have the snip do i need to can i just up my foam furniture and paper plate usage and render myself infertile and then therefore eliminating the need for a hot needle to go into my downstairs

and sever my sperm carrying tubes? Now, Clint, I'm going to throw a spanner into the works because I've got a third option for you. Okay. Sperm donor. Stop being selfish and put all your sperm in the fridge. Not your fridge, someone else's fridge.

And then we can have all these beautiful Clint babies. Yeah, right. Okay. I need to discuss that one with Lucy. I threw that at you, didn't I? Yeah, you really came out of left field with that. It doesn't solve my problem that I don't want any more kids after this.