ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – 27th January 2022

Episode Date: January 27, 2022

Do you NOT read books?Another voicemailWhat's The Plot!Beauty disastersSpace news #sexySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network Ahoy hoy everybody and welcome to the Breein Clint Podcast. I don't know if Ben's shared this with you, but did you know that tonight he's taking part in a police auction? Oh, where they auction off all the drugs that they... Now that auction would go off. Yeah confiscate. Now that auction would go off. Where's that auction? No, it's where they're auctioning off all the

stolen goods that they've confiscated. All the goods that have been handed in. Lost and found stuff. There's some real shit in there. Where is this? How do I get invited to this? Ben's got the link. Anyone can do it, right? Do you want the link?

Oh, is it online? Yeah. Police auctions. Yeah, so it's an online auction, so it opens up and then people just go for it. I think normally you would do it in person, but COVID. A lot of really shitty bikes on there, like rusty old bikes. Right. Can you send me the link?

I wouldn't mind to have a look. What are you hoping To get Ben In the auction Well me Cocaine Switchblade Switchblade Maybe

Some earpods A fighting star A ninja star There was a knife there Just a bit worried about it A knife Yeah and I was like Nah I don't know about that

Who knows what that's done Yeah how many bodies Are on that thing Yeah I wouldn't be getting A knife Yeah maybe just some ear was like, no, I don't know about that. Who knows what that's done. Yeah, how many bodies are on that thing? Yeah, I wouldn't be getting a knife. Yeah, maybe just some ear pods, a few ear pods there. Have you not got any ear pods? No, I've got ear pods, but it's always good to get some new ones. But they're not new.

But they're not new. They're not new. Yeah, but you can still sell them. And they'll be new to Ben, though. They'll be new to Ben. Yeah, you can on-sell them. They need a deep clean. See, can I just say, ear pods is something I wouldn't buy.

Really? Second hand. They go inside your body. Ear pods is something I wouldn't buy secondhand. They go inside your body. AirPods is something I would never buy secondhand along with undies. Undies, yeah. Mouthguard. Mouthguard.

Adult toys. Toothbrush. Adult toys, yeah. Would you buy an electric toothbrush secondhand? No, of course not. Yeah, because you can change your head. No, but it's still gross. It's got all this saliva that's dripped down.

Yeah, that's true. Oh, there's the knife. Oh, there's some Louis Vuitton. Anastasia, there's some Louis Vuitton. Oh, is there? Wait, what is it? Wait, what is it?

Wait, is it real? Hard to know. Hard to know. Would you buy like a pair of Beats by Dre's? Is that something you'd buy second hand?

Over-ear headphones. I'd think about it. It's still an intimate item? Over ear headphones. I'd think about it. It's still an intimate item. It is, but I'd think about it more than ear pods. Yeah, I'm more good with that. Not ear pods. I'd like an ear pods to a sex toy. Shin pads?

Soccer shin pads? No. No. Disgusting. You know, my soccer shin pads are one of the most disgusting things that I own. They go like yellow, eh? Oh, God, they're bad. You know it gets so sweaty in between your shin and the shin pad

that it turns into a foam? Kind of like when a horse gets real sweaty and they foam up between their butt cheeks. What's that watch, Ben? Which one? Oh, it's a G-Shot. Oh, there was a Tiffany & Co necklace Where?

Down Go down the other way It's photography isn't great It's terrible Yeah they're right there Tiffany & Co The heart No the other heart

I think that's one as well That's the same one Yeah Yeah right Well there's something for everybody in there Narcotics And Pandora's

Memorabilia Yeah it's a Fitbit Oh that would take so long Oh yeah To auction off all of that shit in there. Narcotics and memorabilia. Yeah, it's a Fitbit. That would take so long to auction off all of that shit. How good if you get the Fitbit but you inherit the other person's steps as well. I've got my eyes on a leaf blower. What do you want a leaf blower for?

Why wouldn't you? He's got a point. It's just a lot of fun. Except your hand gets tired. They look good. Those headphones look fine Actually, just a lot of fun. Except your hand gets tired. They look good. Those headphones look fine. You literally already own those headphones. Anyway, there's lots of stuff in there.

You should check out your local police auctions, everybody. Yeah. For a thing or two. Maybe some airports. So many bikes. I've had to stop buying things because I've run out of room. And I realized that it's just more junk. I don't need more stuff.

I just start filling up the other cupboards in the other rooms. That's why you're lucky there, aren't you, Brie? I'm downsizing. I'm minimising. Like I talked about yesterday,

I'm having a DVD sale. Yeah. I'm figuring out what brings me joy. I'm a hoarder. Good on you, mate. Does any of your cool shit not spark joy anymore?

Are you looking to inherit some stuff? Mate, I have so much stuff that I've... Oh, like today on the show we talked about Lucy's beauty products. Yeah. You gave me some. Still going a year on. Oh, I should top you guys up.

We're overflowing. Oh, yeah, I'd love some new stuff. I used all that perfume that you gave me. Yeah, boy, I'm the plug. I'm the beauty plug. There's a sword. There's a sword at the auction. Samurai's sword.

You know what else we should be talking on the podcast intro because we didn't talk about it in today's show. Yeah. I got nearly roasted from Clint for my Instagram story this morning. Oh, yeah, the egg grating. Oh, yeah. Yeah, where I decided I would grate a boiled egg, which I think is a genius idea.

You get great egg coverage across your whole piece of toast. So I think if you remember correctly, I said I was going to roast you, and then I saw the end result and it actually looked quite good. Yeah. Why is it so much better than just smashing up the boiled egg with a fork and then spreading it? It's like lighter and fluffier or something. Right. It's actually amazing. Yeah. And then

I'm boiling a lot of eggs at the moment, so I should give it a go. Give it a go. You tell me what you think. Yep. Give it a whirl. Yep, yep, yep. And I'd love Could you do it and just bring it in and we try it? Nah, I don't want some. Well, I mean, we need content. I could do it on the show tomorrow. We don't need content that bad. Yeah.

Hey! I'd like it. I think it's a great idea. I know, I know, I know. I don't like show tomorrow. We don't need content that bad. I'd like it. I think it's a good idea. I know, I know. Why don't we all have breakfast together sometime? It's actually delicious. Next time we're on tour, we can cook them in the hotel.

Anastasia, you and I, when we room together, we eat some weird shit. It's weird. That hot chocolate night. Yeah. And those subways we got. Oh, that was the worst. Yeah. It wasn't good.

You don't want to know what Ben and I get up to. The boys next door thought we were... Yeah, we don't mention that. Yeah, the boys next door were like, what are you guys up to? We were like, we've had three hot chocolates each. We're not getting to sleep tonight. And they're like, why are you naked? And then we tried to wrestle each other.

Wrestle! Oh, pillow fight, yeah. We had a pillow fight. Because you know how it's stereotypical that boys like girls have pillow fights at sleepovers? We actually did that. Because we made room together to sleep over, whereas you guys... But there was no one... You don't know what we did.

We know what you do. We know. You pretend that the other one's not having a wank in the shower when you're in. No. Bree. Let's wrap it up, everybody. My mum listens to this. Sorry, it's true.

It's not true. Sorry, don't go out with it's true. So you're telling me. No, the podcast is here. Leave it out. That when you guys room together for a whole week. The dolphin with it. It's true. So you're telling me. No, the podcast is here. Leave it out. That when you guys roomed together for a whole week. The dolphin's been. A whole week.

It was either that or a public bathroom. Oh. What's going on, everybody? Welcome to the show. It's Bree and Clint. Where this afternoon we've been going down a pitbull reminiscence wormhole, haven't we? I mean, if there's one thing I know is that pitbulls' bat catalogue is fantastic. Is it about time we talk about our secret pitbull idea that we had?

Yeah. We're not going to get to do it. We might. Oh yeah. You never know. Never say never. If we don't put it're not going to get to do it. We might. Oh, yeah. You never know. Never say never. If we don't put it out there into the universe, though, it can't happen.

So should we talk about it? Yeah. So we had this plan before COVID, obviously, where we were going to bring pitbull to New Zealand for a one-off concert. Yeah. Just a pitbull concert. It was just going to be pitbull.

And we were going to give away all the tickets to it. And instead of a mosh pit, we were going to have a pitbull pit. And to get into the pitbull pit, just going to be pit bull. And we were going to give away all the tickets to it. And instead of a mosh pit, we were going to have a pit bull pit. And to get into the pit bull pit, you had to be bald. Yeah, or... Or shave your head. Or be wearing a bald cap. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm not going to ask the ladies to shave their heads. No, I was like, no, they have

to shave it, man up. And Brie's like, no, it's too much. Too much. No one loves pit bull that much. Everyone would have either a bald cap or be bald. Can you imagine him coming out on stage and there's just a mosh pit full of bald people. And they've all got horrible goatees. And sunglasses. That's the pitbull pit.

Mr 305. If anyone has an MIQ spot for Mr 305 can we please have it? I dressed up as pitbull for Halloween one year. Did you? And it was so bad because the party I went to, there was so many hot people there. And let me just say, I did not pick up.

If anyone's listening that wants to sponsor that event too, do you think Gillette would sponsor it? Absolutely. That'd be a good one, eh? Five blade razors will do the trick. That'd be a good one, eh? Yeah. Then five blade razors will do the trick. Or what's that? What's the ladies one?

The Venus. The Venus. Yeah. I bought a new Venus the other day. Splurge. Treated myself. Today on the show

our movie guessing game is back for 2022. It's called What's the Plot? And it's your chance to win $550 cash today if you can guess the movies before Brie does, we're going to play that at 10 to 5 this afternoon.

Oh, not this game again. This was the source of most of my stress last year. Oh, it's back. I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm just going to give it away. Are you? Nah. We're going to start the show, though, with Tradie vs. Lady.

If you'd like to win $50 cash right now, thanks to our mates at KFC, you can call 0800-DIAL-ZM. We need a tradie and a lady to play this game. Can the tradies get their first win of the year? The ladies have cleaned up all three, but it's time to play now to see who can take out day four. Do we need to start the show with a bit of pitbull now?

Yeah. I think so. Here you go. Here's some pitbull. Brian Clint, ZM. Be not working hard. Brian Clint, ZM. That's brand new music from Charlie Puth. He's gone for ages.

Did you know that he wrote the song for the Kid Leroy and Justin Bieber's day? Yes, I did know that. I didn't know that. I found that out recently. He would have made a fortune off that. He's a very good songwriter. Yeah. I mean, he's all right. He hasn't done his own stuff for a while.

No. Yeah, but I knew we'd see him again. That was a big set up. That was a big set up. I know, and you almost got in the way of it with your stupid Kid Leroy fact. That's a great fact. Your stupid joke almost got in the way of my great Kid Leroy facts. That's a great fact. Your stupid joke almost got in the way of my great Kid Leroy facts. Time for the Tradies vs. Ladies.

Free and Cleanse. Tradies vs. Ladies. Right, the Tradies vs. the Ladies. The Ladies have been on a great run so far. I mean, it's only three days in, but still. Three wins for the year. The Tradies not yet to have a win. Let's welcome our lady.

She's 20 years old. She has never broken a bone before, and she's from Timaru. Welcome to the show, Kate. G'day, Kate. Hello. Hi. Congrats on never breaking a bone. You might have jinxed yourself now.

I know. Is that a goal for 2022? No, definitely not. I want to get one of those casts. I was quite jealous of kids at school who had casts and everybody got to sign it. My brother had to have this awkward cast

because he broke his arm so badly where it went from his wrist all the way up to his shoulder and then there was a bar that stuck out. One of those, yeah. One of those ones. So his arm was held in place. It was so weird. Kate, you'll be taking on our trainee today

who's also 20 years old. Oh, could this be a love match? He's from Christchurch and he loves playing rugby. Welcome to the show. It's Tom. Yeah, g'day, Tom. What position in the team, mate? Prop?

Nah, mate. I play a fin turn, that's it, ain't it? Oh, what a flashy guy. Nice, I likeay, Tom. What position in the team, mate? Prop? No, mate. I'm a fin turn, number 13. Oh, what a flashy guy. Oh, nice. I like that, Tom. I like that. Got all the jazzy moves. Yeah, what a Sonny Bill Williams guy.

We like that. Okay, Tom, your buzzer is tradie. Kate, your buzzer is lady. First to get three correct answers. That is the rule. $50 cash. Good luck, everybody. Here we go.

Question number one. What is the fruit that also has the same name as a grandmother? Tradie. Yes, Tom. Apple. That's correct. The old Granny Smith. One to the tradies.

Question number two. That one made you think a little bit. I like that. It's hard to keep up, but who is the current leader of the New Zealand National Party? Lady. Yes, Kate. Oh, no, I've had a mind blank. Oh, it's the New Zealand guy.

I forgot his name. The New Zealand guy. Yes, that's right. Oh, you're on the right track. Oh, no, I forgot his name. Air New Zealand guy. Yes, that's right. Oh, you're on the right track. Oh, no. I forgot his name. Can I jump in here? Yeah, you can jump in, Tom.

Chris Luxon. It is Chris Luxon. Two to the tradies. Question number three. You need this one here, Kate, to stay in it. If you owned a Russian blue, what type of animal would you have? Lady? Yes, Kate.

Kate. That's correct. She's on the board. You're back in the game, Kate. Question number four. Buzz in when you can tell me who sings this song. I forgot to get a song ready. Oh, no.

Okay, I'll go to the next question. Question number four. What is the collective noun for a group of monkeys? Is it A, a gang, B, a troop, or C, a ruckus? Tradie? Yes, Tom. Troop? A troop is correct.

And he's got it. First win for the tradies of the year and 50 bucks coming your way. Tom, nice work. Thank you very much. Have a good rest of your day. You too, Tom, from Christchurch. I was judged last night. Were you?

Judged really, really harshly, I think. Right. By my partner. Oh. I felt quite vulnerable. Yeah. Did you put yourself out there? I think. Right. By my partner. Oh. I felt quite vulnerable. Yeah. Did you put yourself out there? I did, which I thought this was something.

That's when it hurts the most. Yeah, this was something I thought she already knew about me, but turns out I was wrong. And I made a throwaway comment that turned into something where I was really harshly judged. Okay. So I wanted to go deep into the relationship now. Well, this is the thing.

For new things to still be coming to life. You think we'd already know everything. Yeah. And I thought this was already common knowledge, but turns out it's not. And I feel like it is between you and I. I feel like you already know this about me. Okay.

But I wanted to use the radio this afternoon because this thing that we discussed about me that I was judged for, I know I'm not the only one. I know I'm not the only one. I'm going to prove it this afternoon. Right. So we're having a conversation and for some reason

To Kill a Mockingbird got brought up. Okay. The movie. And I turned to my partner and I said, I was like, oh, that's the only book I've ever read other than this one other book that I read for pleasure. I said, I read that book to kill a mockingbird at school because I had to and I've read one other book

and I've never ever read any other books. I know that about you. I knew you knew that. She looked at me and she goes, she goes, oh, you mean they're the only two books you read at school? And I said, no, they're the only two books

I've ever read. Ever. And she thought I was joking, but I'm really not joking. And she was like, oh, my God, how embarrassing. She's worried that she is in a relationship with a big dummy. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, you should already know that by now.

You're not a big dummy. You're just one of the few people who's willing to admit to the fact that you're not a book person. I'm not a book person. I love documentaries. I love to consume knowledge and learning in different ways. But I realised really early in my life I'm not a book person. I would have to sort of say that I am similar,

but I'm trying really hard to become a book person. See, why? Why try and be something you're not? Because I know that that's the secret to broadening my horizons. Is it though? And I know that Why? I know that that's the secret To broadening my horizons Is it though? And I know there's knowledge out there That I don't have

Books are a thing of the past That I can consume They're in the past No so I've got I know what you mean about The thing of the past thing So I've met it halfway I've got an Audible subscription

See that is not the same I'm now listening to books That's not the same You know over summer I read the entire Kevin Hart book By listening to it On Audible Yeah yeah yeah And it's not the same As know over summer I read the entire Kevin Hart book On Audible Yeah That's not the same

As becoming a book reader You know it But I have read more than two books Look How many have you read? Three? Four

Don't lie I reckon I've read And autobiographies don't count I reckon I've read twelve Genuinely I think I've read twelve Okay name three Off the top of your head Right now go

The three Hunger Games books. Oh! And I did. I did. I did. Yeah, I bet you did. And the first Harry Potter. Well, see, I can't test you on that because you could have just seen the film. No, I read them. What would you test me? What's on page 59 of the second

book? That's where Prim... What's Katniss' mother's name? Oh, I don't know See? I don't know Lies Anyway, look, I know I'm not the only one You're not a big book reader yourself No, but I'm trying to be

See, I think just be who you are Just live the life that you're meant to live You know? And I want to talk to the people Because I am positive I am not the only one That has read a minimal amount of books and they're okay with it. Are you willing to call us up this afternoon, 0800DIALZM,

and say, look, I've read one, maybe two, three books in my life and I'm not planning on starting now. Is this something to encourage? Yes. Is it? Why not? Is it? You know, it's like in high school trying to force your kid to play rugby union.

Maybe they're not a rugby union player. Maybe they're meant to play hockey. Don't force them into something they're not meant to do. Maybe they're not a book person. Exactly. Well, you'll be pleased to know we've got full lines. Oh, yeah. And next we will be talking to the non-readers of Aotearoa.

Are we the smart group? You be the judge. Bree and Clint. We're talking about reading books or not reading books. I got judged by my partner last night when I revealed that I've read two books in my whole life. I forgot to ask what the other book was. So one is To Kill a Mockingbird. Yes, because it was for high school English.

Yeah, and what's the other book? The other book was a great book. Yeah. Holes. Holes? You've never read the book Holes? What do you mean I've never read Holes? You've only read two books.

It's a fantastic book. There's also a movie. I've seen that too. Right, okay. I think I know why you're not a book person. Why? Because you were introduced to books with To Kill a Mockingbird. Like schools pick the most punishing books.

Oh, and then we had to read The Pride and Prejudice, but I just got the cliff notes for that. We got made to read Wuthering Heights as our book. Like get some new books, high school. Honestly. I got excellence for the test, by the way, for Wuthering Heights. I listened to the audiobook. Yeah. I used to get the

cliff notes and I did really well. I put it on while I was asleep. No, you didn't. I did. I can listen to it properly and then I listen to it again in my sleep. So you're not a reader either. Stop kidding yourself. You're not a reader. I'm here to stand up for all the non-readers and say you matter and it's okay not to be a reader. Just to be clear, we're not a reader. I'm here to stand up for all the non-readers and say you matter

and it's okay not to be a reader. Just to be clear, we're not saying don't read. We're saying if you're not a reader, you don't have to hide in the shadows anymore. I know. I learnt pretty quickly that my brain doesn't consume knowledge that way and I'm okay with that. I'm fine with it.

And I want to hear from my fellow non-readers on 0800DIALZM. Sarah's here. Hi, Sarah. Hi, Sarah. Hi. Hi. Tell me, Sarah, how many – first of all, how old are you? I'm 52.

Okay. How many books have you read in your life? Two, and they were both in high school, and I couldn't have told you the names until you just said Holes. Oh, one of yours was Holes. Such a good book, isn't it? Yeah, it actually was a good book. Yeah.

I even downloaded Audible, realised you have to pay for books on Audible, so cancelled that too. Oh, you get a free book a month. Yeah, but you can watch like 10 movies on Netflix for free. And you know what I, when I, I mean, you've got a great point, Sarah. And to be honest, what would you rather? Listen to someone talk about it and you have to use your imagination?

I mean, boring. Or someone's done the whole thing for me and I can see it on the screen. Hey, don't be anti-book. Absolutely. Don't be anti-book. Sarah's with me. That's not where we're going. We're going to talk to Wesley.

Hi, Wesley. Hi, Wes. How's it going? Good, thank you, mate. How old are you? I'm 22. How many books have you read? None.

I mean, maybe one in high school, but I can't remember. Nah, well, you didn't really read it in high school. Not if you don't remember, yeah. I mean, I've got this one book I've had for about seven years. I've tried starting it about five times. What book is that? It's The Rebel God by Wilbur Smith. So Weasley, I would say, I would say read one.

No. No, no, no. How does Weasley know it's not for him if he hasn't given it a go? Because he would have already done it. He said he's tried to read that book seven, he's had it for seven years. Wesley, you know what I say to you? Let it go. You're not a reader.

Let it go. I'm going to try again though. Maybe six times lucky, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or no, I reckon write that book off. It's not for you. I want to be a book person. I've heard it's a good book. I want to be a book person. I've heard it's a good book.

I want to be a book person too. It is hard. But there's a movie for everything now, Wes. You're not missing out. Beth's here. Hi, Beth. Hi, Beth. Hi.

Come on, back me up on this. Are you not a reader? I'm not a reader, no. Yes, Beth. How many books have you read? I partially read Anne Frank and ended up watching the movie and Googling the differences between the movie and googling the differences between the movie and book

just to pass it off yes and Beth was the movie great? heard it's good I can't really remember to be honest right okay the worst part is my mum has a library

of about 500, 600 books in her house is she disappointed in you? I just don't want to be like her where you sit in a bedroom and read a book all day. How boring is that? I'd rather be out there rollerblading, bro. Is there any reading and chill? Like, is that a thing?

Yes, there is. Well, it must be because my mum was certainly into it, but no. Oh, you mean the sexy one? Yeah, where you invite someone over and you go, do you want to come over for a read and chill? I think I talked myself up before when I said I'd read 12 books, because I've listed them all. How many?

Up to 12. Is it more than my two? I've read I Am David. I've read One and a Half Harry Potters. I've read Three Hunger Games, the Andre Agassi biography. Nah, that's not included. The Andre Agassi biography. Yes it is. You listened to it on Audible. No, I read that one. Oh, sure

you did. One and a half Jack Reaches and the Brokeback Investor. No, the Barefoot Investor. You read Brokeback Mountain did you? No, but I would. You'd enjoy that one. Maybe that'd be book number eight. There you go. If someone tuned over from Radio New Zealand right now by accident

and they heard this conversation, they would be appalled. Please go and buy the Brokeback Investor. You get some real good tips. Bree and Clint from iHeartRadio. This is the latest live from LA with Dean McCarthy. It's tennis season. The Australian Open is on at the moment. Roger Federer, the biggest name in world tennis, is not playing.

But, Dean, there's been stats released on how much money he makes. Okay, I hope you're sitting down. This is going to make you feel really poor. He made last year $126 million in the year, which is about $427,000 a day. A day? A day. Now, obviously, this guy, a day.

Okay, so, of course, he is a 20-time Grand Slam champion. So, you know, like, yeah, he's certainly earned good money. He's done the work, yeah. $4.5 million a day. And he only played, I think it was at five events in 2021. Like, he has had a sore ankle or something. And so he's been totally out of the game. But even so, his endorsements, he is really, really safe.

You know what I mean? Like, he's got such a great reputation. He's so likable. He's never done anything wild or, you know, controversial. So he's a really good person for the brand to partner with. I'm not surprised he makes good money. Yeah, he's got a really clean image. He's sort of the anti-Novac Djokovic.

But $420,000 a day? I feel like they should cap the amount of money people can make. You know what I mean? When you hear things like that, you do, eh? They just start a global cap where they say you can't make more than this amount of money. Imagine you buy a Lamborghini one day and you go, oh, was that the right thing to do or did I waste my money?

Might buy a yellow one the next day. And then you have the exact same amount of money the next day. Jeez. Insanity. Wow. Okay, you're right, Dean. That did make us feel poor. So thank you for that.

There's the latest with our Hollywood correspondent, Dean McCarthy. Bree and Clint. That is the latest with our Hollywood correspondent, Dean McCarthy. If you're trying to lose weight at the moment and you can't, I have somebody that you can blame it on, you know? Which is always a healthy thing. It is. Putting blame onto other people. Yeah, and it's not your personal trainer if you've got one. It's not your F45 instructor.

It's not even your partner who's been encouraging you to have a bit of choccy at night. You know, it's not them. Newly released research has found that if your grandfather smoked, it could affect how much body fat you have. God, I knew that bastard. I'm just kidding. I'm just joking.

Did your grandfather smoke? I'm pretty sure neither of my grandfathers smoked. Well that counts them out for you. Mine did, so I'm good. The study looked at children of women pregnant in 1991 and 1992. So people

who are roughly our age. It found that granddaughters specifically, of men who smoked before the age of 13. So if your granddad smoked. Who was smoking before 13? Our grandfathers. What the hell?

We're talking about the 1940s. I was going to say, careful, don't age our grandfathers up. I think 1940s. Yeah. What else was there to do, you know? Smoke. Lots of things. Drink. I think 1940s. Yeah. What else was there to do? You know? Smoke. Lots of things. Drink.

Work on the railroad. What do you think you're doing if you're working on the railroad? Smoking. Exactly right. If your grandfather smoked before the age of 13 and you're a woman, you are more likely to carry an extra 3.54 kgs of fat compared to people whose grandfathers didn't smoke. Isn't that strange?

What a load of BS. Nah, nah. What a load. I love how you're like, it's on the page. It's on the page. It's from science, bro. The study suggested that smoking altered the DNA in that generation, which then could be inherited by their descendants. Buzzy, right?

My question is what's going to happen to all the grandchildren of the 12-year-olds who are currently addicted to vapes? You know? Let's play this thing forward. At the moment, the kids are on the vapes. Yeah, what happens to those people?

Yeah, what's going to be their grandkids? I thought you were going to say what happens to all the kids or the people who go to all the festivals these days. Yeah, them too. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, so long as they're not at a festival and they're under 13,

then they'll be sweet. No. Oh, right. So it's all to do with under 13. It's how young you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing. Oh.

Yeah, so. Right. I was hitting the grappa when I was under 13. Bree and Clint. Z-Dames, Bree and Clint. G'day, everybody. Bree and Clint. Sorry.

We're just having chats about catheters. Yeah. Off air. Why? Because Keita and Anita are in studio. Yay! Thank you for having us. You guys love a catheter chat.

Hang on, why can't we hear one of these? Let me just put them all on. Hello, hello. Hello, hello. Oh, my gosh, I sounded like Adele there. You know what I was going to say? I was like, when could you ever not hear Keita? People tune me out, I'm used to it.

Answer it on a good day. Our favourite podcast on the ZM Podcast Network, Keita and Anita's Happy Hours in Full Swing. I'm just looking at the title of the latest episode, How Drunk Can Keita and Anita Get in One Night? Now, that sounds like a challenge. Yes. The answer is very.

Right. Do you do it on the podcast? Do you get drunk on the podcast? Not officially. You should do that for an episode. I don't know about the T's and C's legally. I mean, they can, you know, legal can deal with that. Listen to the first three episodes.

Are you guys enjoying having your podcast out there and sharing your lives? Absolutely. Yeah, so much fun. We've always been fond of sharing our bits of people, haven't we? We can share them to the masses. Who would be the ultimate person you'd want to get on

your podcast? Because, I mean, throw it out there into the universe because you never know. Well, we've had you. Strong. And then we actually had you on the pod once. Well, considering we're getting into Omicron, I'm thinking maybe Clark Gafer because I could really use some rapid tests.

Oh, yeah. That's a good idea. Parliamentary privilege. I know, he could call into his pharmacy mates and boom. Yeah, that'd be nice. That would be nice. And what about you, Anita? You just got nominated for an award today.

Thank you so much. The New Zealand... Okay, here we're going to butcher this. The New Zealand Television Awards, and it's the Television personality of the year. Oh, my gosh. Yes. For that impersonation you did of the queen.

I was like, well, I was only on TV four times last year. Until a very disappointing costume sent me home. But isn't that amazing? I'm so honored. Congrats. That's so exciting. Never has there been a nomination that is so well-deserved. Well-deserved?

Well-deserved. You can get Keita and Anita's Happy Hour. It's a podcast on the ZM Podcast Network right now. You can get it on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts from. Our two favourite queens, Keita and Anita, good to see you. Good to see you. Thank you for having us. Love you guys. Up next on the show, I've got a surprise for youita and Anita. Good to see you. Good to see you. Thank you for having us. Love you guys.

Up next on the show, I've got a surprise for you, Bree. Ooh. Yeah, just for you. This is specifically for you. Well, because your surprise is normally, I either hate it or I actually really like it. So where does this one sit? I think it's a nice surprise. It's

personalised. You just might not like the liberties that I've taken. But I think at its core, it's a nice surprise. It's personalised. You just might not like the liberties that I've taken. But I think at its core it's a nice surprise. You've gotten a tattoo of my face.

About time. I can't wait to see it. Would you like that? Yeah. Where would you like it? On your gooch. Okay, done. I'm just not showing you it.

I'll give you your surprise next. Bring a cleanse. Brand cleanse. Kia ora. I'm Simon Pound, and I host Business is Boring, a podcast that reckons it's anything but. Join me each week as I chat with some of the most interesting and inspirational players in the Aotearoa business scene

and learn what it takes to make it happen from accidental entrepreneurs to the brains behind some of the country's biggest brands. If you're into business or want to be, then make sure you follow Business is Boring wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by the Spinoff Podcast Network in partnership with Sparklab. Kia ora, this is Toby Mann. I'm the host of Gone By Lunchtime, a podcast for the spin-off podcast network all about politics and politicians

with me, Annabel Lee-Mather, and Ben Thomas, careering wildly from the very serious to the very ridiculous. It's not for everyone. I don't think it would be Ellen's cup of tea, but you, I reckon, will love it. Gone By Lunchtime. Grab one now wherever you get your podcasts. Brie and Clint. I've got a surprise for you, Brie.

This makes me nervous. No, it's a nice surprise. Yesterday, you surprised us by playing us your dad's new voicemail. I did. Big Steve. If you don't know Big Steve, he's a farmer from country Queensland. Very attractive man. You don't have to throw that in there.

It's central to his character. You know, he's a daddy in every sense of the word. Oh, God. I mean, not my cup of tea, but I've heard. And you played us his new voicemail, which it's a bit out of character, right? Very out of character for my dad. We've got it here.

Take a listen. Well, howdy, Pilgrim. Steve here. Sorry I missed your call. I'll give you a ring back as soon as I can. See you, partner. Is he a comedian now? I don't understand.

I was like, Dad. He doesn't talk like that. He does not talk like that. He's a farmer, but he doesn't talk like that. He has an Australian accent. He's blokey blo, please do. He doesn't talk like that. He does not talk like that. He's a farmer, but he doesn't talk like that. He has an Australian accent. He's blokey bloke. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I thought it's neat, it's fun, it's different, and it would make a really good voicemail for you. So what I've done is I've contacted Big Steve and we have re-recorded your voicemail. Oh, my God. Would you like to hear it? This is your new voicemail message. When people call you, this is the message that people will hear.

Howdy, partner. This is Buffalo Breeze phone. Sorry she can't take your call right now because she's busy doing nothing cattle. So you leave a message and she'll get right back to you soon. Be-ha!

What do you think? Oh, my God, that is horrendous. That's your new voicemail message. No, it's not. It is. We've recorded it onto your phone, so if anyone has Bree's number. I've got business calls on that phone.

Imagine if they get that answering machine. Business is about to boom, baby, with that one. Can you imagine? It'll just be people laughing down the phone. You know the best bit? I rang him today to record that with him. Yeah. And we organised it beforehand.

And I said, look, I've got a script here. I wrote him a script of what to say. And he goes, oh, I've actually already written something. So that was all him. He was ready to go. He goes, I've actually got one. I will just rattle it off for you now. You know what?

I think, because my dad obviously got into farming because it was the family business. I think he was actually deep down meant to be creative. You think he's got like... I think he's, you know... Got some comedy genius in there. He needs a TV special.

Oh, my God. The other bit that he wanted me to stress is the de-nutting cattle bit in there where he goes... Is that what he said? Yeah, he goes, Bree can't come to the fold right now because she's de-nutting cattle. He wanted me to stress that that is something

that you actually used to do. No I did not. He said please communicate that she used to do that and she enjoyed it. What the hell?

It was sheep. Was it? Yeah. Right. Not cattle. Do you castrate bulls? Is that something you do to a bull? What good is a bull with no nuts? I don't think it's a good Yeah. Right. Not cattle. Do you castrate bulls? Is that something you do to a bull?

What good is a bull with no nuts? I don't think it's a good idea. No, you want them intact. Anyway, I mean, good person to ask is Rodeo Steve. Howdy, pilgrim. I love it. Thank you guys so much. You're very welcome.

What a great surprise. And in the words of Big Steve, Bree-ha! Bree and Clint. Just wanted to clear it up. You do castrate bulls. Do you? They become steers. Right, and what do you do with a steer?

If it's got no... You grow them till they're full size and then they get turned into steaks. Oh, right. Yeah. You eat bull meat. I'm so silly, eh? I just imagined that the boys would be too tough.

I don't know. Yeah, because the boys are all muscle. Yeah, well, I thought, oh, but you castrate them. I thought the testosterone would toughen up the meat too much. I think they castrate them quite early. So they castrate them. Welcome back to our channel where we now talk about everything Carlton. Once you castrate the bull, can you milk it?

I'm going to move on from that point. I wanted to talk about this hilarious thing and I think actually really smart that this girl has decided to take it upon herself to do to a guy she met on Tinder. Because, I mean, obviously people on Tinder, we have heard the stories where they can be quite harsh. You know, where people can send messages where it's quite harsh and probably a bit rude sometimes. And that's what happened to this girl.

She said, you know, she was on Tinder. She received a message from a guy and she was like, oh, okay, I've matched with this guy. I'll see what he's messaged me. And this is what it said. Hi there. You're a bit larger than what I would normally go for, but fancy meeting for a drink. That is.

She was very taken aback. Is that nigging? That's nigging, eh? That's so rude Yeah So rude Anyway, she didn't write back to him Good

What she decided to do was find his Facebook page Which she did She tracked down his Facebook page Through his Facebook page, she managed to track down his mum And then she screenshotted all the things she needed to and she sent it on to his mum and said, just so you know, your son is being very rude on Tinder. That is clever.

Pretty funny. And effective revenge. Quite funny. Because he's not going to listen to you if you tell him off, but he's going to damn well listen to his mum. That is very well done. So the mum has replied. Okay.

Do you want to hear what happened? Absolutely. So apparently the mum replied saying, I've spoken to my son. He seems to have no information about you on his phone and would never be so rude as to send a message like that to anyone. I hope you will trust that he will not do this again, but I'm sure that he has been hacked and it wasn't him.

Oh, come on, Mum. Mum, obviously, is an up-to-date technology. Mum's a bit gullible. Yeah. Hacked. I know. Hacked. You know why, though?

You know what? I feel like if I was that boy's mum, you would feel so gutted to think that you'd raised a man who was so rude like that. She won't want to believe it. She won't want to believe it. So she'll be like, oh, he's been hacked. And I mean. You just want mum to reply with, thank you, what a little shit,

I'll deal with that. Exactly. That's all you need from mum. Yeah. Right? it. Exactly. That's all you need from mum, right? Yeah. But, anyway, I thought that was a very funny way of tackling that. And that's a classic tell, I'm gonna tell your mum.

You know, it's a telltale. She's a dibba-dobba. Yeah, she's an arc, but in the best way. Remember back in the day when you were younger, the worst thing ever would be to be a dibba-dobba? To be a telltale. You didn't want to be a dibba-dobba? Was that not a saying? I've never heard the saying dibba-dobba.

Was that not a saying here? We'll do a quick round the room. Dibba-dobba? Anybody get dibba-dobba? No, I haven't heard that one. Never heard of that. Is that a Nazi thing? But I understand exactly what it means.

So what do you guys call it then? An ark? Or a telltale? Or a tattletale? Yeah, both. All of those are good. Or dibba-dobba's way better. Dobbing them in. Dibba-dobdobba's way better. Dobbing them in.

Dibba-dobba. Dobbing them in. Dobbing them in. We understand what it means. We understand what it means. Like, you get it straight away. Yeah. It's a bit dibbly-dobbly.

No, it's dibba-dobba. Yeah, right, right. I thought we could take a few calls this afternoon where people could come clean about a time that they've dobbed on someone. Oh, yeah. Have you been a dibber-dobber? And it could be in any situation. Maybe you found out someone was cheating on one of your friends and you told on them.

Yeah. Maybe you- Who did you tell? The partner. Yeah. The other partner. Yeah. Yeah.

Or anyone. I don't know. Maybe you heard someone took money out of someone else's bag and then you told on them. Yeah. Maybe. What's another situation? Dad had a big win on the pokies and he said,

please don't tell mum. And you did. And you told mum. Dibba-dobba. Can you stop saying dibba-dobba? It sounds weird. Why? I don't know.

There's nothing weird about it. No, okay. Dibba-dobba. We're going to make it work. Yeah. When were you a dibba-dobba? Yes. He's on board. Give us a call Dibba-dobba. We're going to make it work. Yeah. When were you a dibba-dobba? Yes. He's on board.

Give us a call on 0800-DIAL-ZM or you can text your story in to 9696. You can dob on yourself for the time that you dobbed on somebody else. Yes. Brianne Clint. Were you a dibba-dobba slash I've just learnt all the New Zealand slang because I never realised that was Aussie slang. But turns out it is. Someone said a telly tail or a telltale tit or a narc, a squealer. Squealer's good, yeah.

Yeah, and then they said sometimes. Yeah, we would then move on to you're a dobber. So there you go. When have you dobbed on someone? We're taking your calls this afternoon. There's lots of texts coming through. Some are quite hectic. Right.

But let's talk to Anonymous first. Hello, Anonymous. Hi. How are you? I'm good, thanks. How are you? Good, thank you. Was it you that dobbed on someone?

Yes. Who was it? When I was little at school, I was sitting on the mat and I was sitting behind this girl and I looked in her hair and I saw a net. Oh, no. Yeah, so I told the teacher on her

and then she got sent home from school. Oh. No, no. I mean, she had to get sent home. That is the best thing that you should have done. That is a good time to dob. Oh. No, no. I mean, she had to get sent home. That is the best thing that you should have done. That is a good time to dob. Yeah. You don't want everyone to be getting nits.

Did the teacher handle it well, though? Yeah, I think so. She wasn't like, Emily, get up here. She walks over, she's like, ew, Emily's got nits. And everyone freaks out. No, you did the right thing. I think that's a good time to dob. Dave's here.

G'day, Dave. G'day, Dave. How are you? How's it going? Good, thank you. Dave, have you dobbed on someone? No, I got dobbed in. Oh!

Oh, okay. What did you do? Oh, I love this, Dave. Well, it was Christmas morning, and I went to the local gas station to grab a drink, and I took my two step daughters in with me at 8 and 11 and

I told them to pick an ice cream and I stood in line and after a couple of minutes in line the lady in front of me went up to the counter and then just as she turned around I looked at her and I was like oh it's my ex-girlfriend so I started talking to her and then that was the end of that and they got their ice creams

in the car and off home we went. And then a little bit later, my girlfriend said to me, oh, were you having a bit of a chat with your ex-girlfriend? And I said, oh, yeah, why's that? And she goes, oh, my daughter said that Dave was talking to a real pretty lady in the petrol station. Oh, Dave. Your kid's knocked on you.

You're done locking dinner, Dave. Someone's always watching. Well, at least you know whose side the kids are on, right? You know what the thing is? That's spice for mum, not you. Kids are super honest. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, kids are so honest, so it's really hard to get away from it.

Someone on the text machine has sent in a really big story, but essentially they said, I left one job and started a new job, and whilst I was doing the training for my new job, one of the ladies told me she had met a guy on Tinder and she'd gone on a couple of dates with him. I then found out uh she then found out that he was married and had told him to get lost uh but he was still constantly texting her she showed me a photo of him and i recognized him that it was the husband of someone that i used to

work with she's like i didn't know her very well. So I decided I eventually got her number and I ended up ringing her and explaining everything that I knew. Wow. That's a lot for someone you don't really know. But he deserves it. I mean, you know, I think it's – there's definitely two types of people in that situation. It's a very hard one, especially if you don't know them very well.

Yeah, there's the not my business, not my fight people and the girlfriend got to know type of people. I've got to have my sisters back. I'm coming for you. Bree and Clint. Every now and then a little piece of audio gold comes across my plate and that's what happened this morning and I found this piece of audio gold. Okay, a little nugget.

Look, it's from a TV station over in Kentucky, America, from a little place called WDRB. And it was this particular... They said all the TV channels are called over there. I know. KR2W. 501 KW5. Los Angeles Live.

It was about this meteorologist, a weatherman, by the name of Mark Weinberg. Okay. He's who I want to talk about. Because a piece of audio of one of his broadcasts is circulating after people are saying they believe he farted on air. Oh.

On live television. Right. So what I thought we could do is investigate. Okay, yeah, we need to conduct. So we've got the normal piece of audio here. Let's cross live now to Mark Weinberg with the weather. All this air is. Audio here. Let's cross live now to Mark Weinberg with the weather. All this air is, it's 8 in Des Moines, Iowa.

The temperature... I mean, apparently he didn't anticipate such windy conditions. Why did he pause? It was real awkward. Why did he pause? You should real awkward. Why did he pause? You should see the footage. Yeah, I feel like I need to see the... He, like, stops.

He's, like, deer in the headlights. I reckon he was trying not to. Trying to hold it. Yeah, or I'm not sure he looked... Or trying to release it silently. Maybe. He looked quite scared. Gross.

This is gross, by the way. What I've asked producer Ben to do is have we done this Ben? Grab the audio and slowed it down. Because some people are saying it's a cough. Some people are saying it's definitely a cough. Others are saying Marky Mark Weinberg, let one go.

So we've slowed it down here. All this air is. It's not a cough. It's not a golf It's definitely a fluff It's not a golf It's a fluff So I want to check with Ben Who is a qualified radio professional

Was doing slow motion fart replays Were you envisioned your career heading When you went to the New Zealand School of Broadcasting? Nah but I had to sign a contract to come onto the show So I knew that I was part of this job. Yeah, right, okay. And all I'll say to that, could be worse. How?

Could it? Yeah, I don't know. Bree and Clint. Time for what's the fun? Once upon a time, there was a girl. She was smart, debatable, talented, eh, athletic. Not really. But picking a movie title based on just the plot line, that she can do.

Brie and Clint's What's The Plot. A new remix, I meant. Obviously. This is What's The Plot, where you guess movies to win cash. And today, taking you on for $550 cash is Dion. G'day, Dion. Hello, Dion. How are we?

How are we? Good? Good, mate. We are good. How are we? Oh, very good, very good. Good. Have you heard this game before, Dion? I have. I listen to it most days, yeah. Okay, good.

Much like the Bat Signal, I put the call out before for superhero fans. Is that your genre of film, Dion? Yeah, it is. How much are you a Marvel man? Are you borderline nerdy on it? Oh, a wee bit.

A wee bit. Not full on nerdy though. Got any merch? This is a very big challenge today. No memorabilia? Okay Well Brie you like a superhero movie too I do love superhero movies Some more than others I have plot lines

All you have to do is buzz in When you think you know what the movie I'm talking about is And I will need the full name of that movie Okay Yes Like if it was Spider-Man I wouldn't just accept Spider-Man I'd need Spider-Man No Way Home.

Is that what it's called? Yeah. God, okay. Like Spider-Man Homecoming. Homecoming, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's No Way Home as well. Oh, man, I am good.

You're obviously not a fan. No, I'm not. Far From Home. Yeah, that's another good one, I reckon, Dion. That's the best one. Okay, Dion, your buzzer is Dion. Bree, your buzzer is Bree. First to two wins the game and $550 cash. Here we go, Dion. That's the best one. Okay, Dion, your buzzer is Dion. Bree, your buzzer is Bree. First to two wins the game

and $550 cash. Here we go, guys. I feel like I've got my work cut out for me today. Don't wait for me to finish the plot line before you buzz in. Movie number one. Before she was a superhero,

she was Diana, a princess. Bree! That's Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman. It is. Is that the full name Of the movie though?

Wonder Woman Just going with that Yeah Wonder Woman is correct Gal Gadot What a babe What a babe What a babe

She's my She's my Fortnite character So She's my pass card Okay Okay Okay Okay

Movie number two You can get back on this, Dion, okay? You can stay with us if you get this one. Yeah, I got this. Imprisoned on the other side of the universe, our mighty hero finds himself in a deadly gladiatorial contest that pits him against... Dion.

Dion. Thor Ragnarok? Thor Ragnarok. Thor Ragnarok. That's correct. Dion. Very good. Very good, Dion. Well done, mate.

I would never have got it. I haven't seen it. That's the best Thor movie. Right, Dion? It is. It's fantastic. I haven't seen it. It had the full Taika treatment.

It's very funny. It did. Okay, we're at tiebreak, everybody. This is for the win. God, I hate it. I'll remind you that I need the full name of the movie if you're going to get the point. Yeah.

Movie number three. With the help of allies, Lieutenant Jim Gordon and District Attorney Harvey Dent. Bree! Bree. Oh! Batman. The Dark Knight.

Final answer? Yep. Got to go for it. Because there's also Dark Knight Rises, isn't there? Gosh. Yes, there is. Batman, The Dark Knight. Yeah, Batman, The Dark Knight.

I'm just locking it in. That's correct. That was so close. You knew that, didn't you, Dion? You knew that one. I heard it. Oh, Dion, I'm so sorry. Great game though, mate.

Oh, that was close. And we got 50 KFC chicken dollars for you. Yes, we do. Don't go home empty-handed, so congratulations. Okay, thank you. No worries. You know what? My gut, everything in my gut said just the Dark Knight.

You've got to trust your gut sometimes. I think Harvey Dent, I think he dies in, oh, no, he becomes Two-Face, doesn't he? He becomes Two-Face in the Dark Knight. And then so the Dark Knight rises. He's not Harvey Dent. Harvey Dent, yeah, right. Oh, there we go. Bree and Clint. I want so the Dark Knight rises. He's not Harvey Denton. Harvey Denton. Yeah, right. Oh, there we go. Bree and Clint.

So I want to talk about beauty disasters, beauty product disasters specifically because one product has left my wife, Lucy, it sent her to A&E, left her in hospital. It was a bit dramatic. And she asked me not to be too dramatic with this. You dramatic nut. She did spend the night in A&E though

after using this one thing. I'd like to preface this by saying my wife is a beauty queen. She knows all the things about all the beauty things. She's been a fashion and beauty editor at multiple magazines and our bathroom

has more products than chemist's warehouse. She's used a lot of lotions and potions on her body. And that's why this one is so shocking. Over summer, she did something called a foot mask. Are you familiar with a foot mask? Sounds so weird, doesn't it? Doesn't it?

I remember seeing these things about seven or eight years ago. There was an ad that was on TV, and it used to do the rounds, and it was quite like shocking. Yes. Because it's one of those ones where you put your like feet in these little booties. Yes. And then you keep them in there and then you take them off

and like a week later your feet peel. That's right. That's exactly what it is. Yeah. It's meant to dissolve all the dead skin on your feet. So if you've got crusty feet. It's the stuff that they grind off your heels when you go get a mini-piddy. Yeah, yeah.

And so she did one of these before Christmas. Going into summer, she's like, I want, she used our nine-month-old daughter Maggie as an example. She's like, I want those feet. Oh, I thought you were going to say she used Maggie as a test dummy. I was like, probably not the best person.

No, she was showing me how fresh she wanted her feet to look. She did it and to her credit, it worked. She came out with amazingly soft feet. She even said,

she used the words, this is one of the greatest experiences of my life. That's how much she loved it. Well, there you go. Yeah, raved about it. She wore two. She's like,

we can do these together. But when I saw the packet. Have you got crusty heels, do you? Big time. Well, why didn't you do it? Because when I saw the packet, I was like, this looks dodgy. They're like six bucks, and you get them off the internet.

And it looked a bit imported, you know? Just a bit dodgy. Six bucks. Right. So they're not the most expensive thing where you're like you know um customer guaranteed we've tested nah no yeah yeah yeah you know it's not from a reputable brand anyway i very bravely let her um test them and it worked and i was really tempted to use the

other one i thought you know what it's done such good things for him maybe i will do it didn't get around to it fast forward six weeks to this week, and I still haven't done it. So Lucy goes, tough titties. I'm doing the second one. I want to have another go, and I'm taking your packet. What did her feet need doing again, though?

I don't know. I can't imagine they would have. She had been hooning around barefoot on the concrete but I think she was so excited with how it was the first time she was like, let's do it again. I get that. She did it. And then afterwards it was fine. We went to bed and then

the next day she woke up and her feet were red. Like a sunburn. Like inflamed red. And as the day went on it got worse and they started to really hurt to the point that that evening I went to the chemist with a photo of her feet and I said, have you got a cream for this? And they said she needs to go to a doctor.

So she went to a doctor and they said your feet need urgent attention and they ended up having to bandage her feet. Her feet have a chemical burn. They are blistered, and she came home with both of her feet in bandages after using this foot mask. That's so

bad. It's shocking how bad the end result is. Are her heels soft though? Not at the moment, because they're burnt. She has high hopes that even this really burnt and blistered skin is going to

be a good result. is going to peel off and she's going to have fantastic feet. But I mean, there's a warning for you, right? Yeah. And we don't know

if it's because it was the second time around and that was the issue doing it twice. Her feet were probably already so sensitive. Yeah, it was too fresh. Or whether it was a bad batch, or whether it's just bad shit

and you shouldn't do these foot peels. Who would have thought that a bag of chemicals that dissolves your skin could be dangerous? I mean, shocking, isn't it? It's so shocking to me. It's called a double effect foot peeling mask, if you want the warning, by the way. Just steer clear of that. Yeah. Or do it. I mean, it's your body. I mean, yeah. It's up to you. foot peeling mask, if you want the warning, by the way. Just steer clear of that.

Yeah. Or do it. I mean, it's your body. I mean, yeah. It's up to you. Your body, your choice. I thought this afternoon we could take more warnings and talk about other beauty disasters. Okay.

Like what else have you used? What products have you used? What beauty tools have you used? And it didn't go well for you. I want to hear some epilator stories. There's one that rips the hair out, right? Oh, my God. About five or six years ago,

they were all the rage before laser hair removal, and I decided I was going to buy an epilator because I wanted to do... I got sick of paying for Brazilians. You epilated your downstairs? There. My bikini line. And let me just tell you,

it did not end well. Yeah, I don't imagine it did. That sounds so painful. Yeah. Can't bandage that area up. Give us a call now with your beauty disasters. We're taking your beauty product disasters, beauty tool disasters, just beauty procedure disasters.

My wife has given herself, the doctor said, close to second degree burns on her feet from one of those foot peeling mask bags. Yeah, be warned. They're gross looking and they can really hurt you. We got into them because someone we know was using one and it was called Baby Feet. Because the idea is you get feet so soft they could be a baby's feet. Yeah, pretty much feel like a baby. Yeah.

So the warning, they can have very adverse side effects. I've thought of another one. Yeah. And this is another warning for people because I know how popular laser hair removal is. Yeah. And I love laser hair removal. I'm a big advocate for it.

Go for it, I say. It's worth it. But the first couple of times I got laser hair removal and I got the full shebang, let's say. Yeah. Make sure you use the heat cooling spray on the areas because they can get very hot and can swell. Do they have to bring in the big laser for you?

Is that right? Shut up! They're like, we need a bigger laser! Clear all my appointments in this afternoon! You know that laser on Austin Powers that they use to shoot at the moon? Shut up! The moon is your butthole.

My butthole is quite hair-free, thank you very much. Yeah, because of the big laser. Craig's here. G'day, Craig. Hey, how we going? Have you had a beauty disaster, have you, Craig? Yeah, a wee bit. It was a wee while ago. I used some hair removal cream on the sensitive downstairs area

and it didn't go so well. Yeah. I feel you on this one, Craig. How long did it take before you knew you'd stuffed up? Well, I sort of lathered it all up and then, you know, left it for a wee bit. Yeah. Not sure quite what went wrong. You know, I either left it on a wee bit. Yeah. Not sure quite

what went wrong. You know, I either left it on there too long or they give you a little plastic scraper thing to, you know, take it off.

Yeah. And I might have scraped a bit too hard. I'm not too sure. Did you end up with a burnt sausage? Not so much the sausage. More the berries.

The berries. And I'm assuming the gooch. Yeah. Oh, that is horrible, Craig. You poor thing. Yeah, right. That's so bad. Okay, there's a word of warning for people.

Sam's here. Hey, Sam. Hi, Sam. Hey, guys. What was your beauty disaster? I bought a little eyebrow dye. It was on clearance. Quickly figured out why it was on clearance.

I left it on for like maybe, oh, 10 minutes too long. Yeah. I had full green eyebrows. No, you went green. Oh, no, I didn't know that. Oh. Oh, no, Sam. It was rough.

We thought you might just look really, really angry with super dark eyebrows, but no, they went toxic green. Sam, you just tell everyone around you you're going for like a Billie Eilish vibe. How do you fix that? Try to create a new trend. Do you have to re-dye them to get it back? No. I managed to exfoliate my face really well

and a few times in the shower, that was enough. Wow. Thank God, Sam. You wouldn't have had many eyebrows left after that. Exfoliate your eyebrow off. Rach was here. Hey, Rach. Hi, Rach. Hiya. You witnessed a beauty disaster, didn't you? Yeah. Tell us about it. So I used to work in a walk-in nail bar and I can't remember what they're called, but there's like these blades that you use like on

the heel. The cheese graters. Yeah, the cheese graters. That's what I call it. Everyone calls it the cheese graters. That's disgusting. Yeah. Like foot parmesan. And they literally shave like pieces of skin off your heel. Yeah, it's pretty gross. And one of our nail techs accidentally cut a bit too much off.

And yeah, so we had to like scramble all the towels. What, blood? Yeah. How much blood? It was quite a lot. It took her quite a while for the bleeding to kind of slow down enough so we could bandage it. I felt so awful for her.

That's terrible. Did you know this woman? No, no, no. It was just like a random customer. It wasn't me who did it, but I saw it happen. Oh, no. So I was already terrified of going near them, but I'm definitely never, ever, ever going back.

Yeah, that is terrifying. Yeah, that is terrifying. Yeah, that is terrifying. A lot of foot stuff. Scary foot stuff. One more text that has come through. Yeah. And someone said, I tried to wax my own downstairs once.

I ripped all the skin off of it. You can use your imagination as to what it was. Yeah, I got it. I got it. Could have been a certain or the other. Neither good. Neither's good. If you would like to see my wife's foot pics,

her burnt and blistered feet are currently on her Instagram. Oh, she should be putting those on OnlyFans. There's a PSA about those foot bags. Bree and Clint. Time for a birthday banger. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Bree and Clint's birthday banger.

You see, what we do is we take your birthdays and we put it into a machine and then we figure out what was number one on your 16th birthday. What's the voice? I don't know, like 1950s? Oh, yeah. 1940s?

Aristocrat. Yeah. Aristocrat. I love that voice. Aristocrat. Aristocrat. Yeah, because there's a cartoon called Aristocats. That's what really screwed me up on the word.

Yeah. Okay, let's meet our first very fancy contestant. It's Vicky. Hi, Vicky. Hello. G'day, Vicky. Why don't you come over and shake it for us? Don't mind if I do.

Yes, Vicky. I like you. You're a good time. Vicky, when's your birthday? 18th of September, 93. All right, Vicky, you were 16 in 2009. And on the 18th of September, your 16th birthday, this was number one. Queen Bee.

The fanciest bee of all the bees. Banger. Yeah, Bee Banger. That's a bop from Queen Beyonce. Totally. Because there's good birthday songs to have for Beyonce, like good birthday bangers. Yes.

And that's one of them. Good work, Vicky. Wait there, we'll get a birthday banger for Steve. G'day, Steve. G'day, Steve. G'day, guys. How are you? Good, mate.

How are you? Not too bad, thank you. That's good to hear. Are you a fancy lady as well, Steve? It depends on the hour of the day. Right, okay. When the sun goes down, maybe. I like that, Steve.

What's your birthday, mate? 8th of May, 1968. Right, you were 16 in 1984. And on the 8th of May, your 16th birthday, Steve. This had a number one hit. But girls, they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have fun. Steve, he wants to have fun.

Steve. Not bad, not bad. Pretty good, Steve. I mean, it's an iconic song. And she's an iconic artist. Absolutely, and you were 16 years old when this was number one. You love it, Steve? I mean, it's an iconic song. And she's an iconic artist. Absolutely. And you were 16 years old when this was number one. You love it, Steve?

Not a bad banger. Not a bad banger. I love it too, Steve. I like it. We'll do one more for Zoe. Whose birthday is today? Happy birthday, Zoe. Happy birthday.

Thank you. Have you had a good day, Zoe? Yeah, it's been great. What's the best present you've got? So far, I've only opened a couple, but I've just bought myself a brand new bedding set, which is super lame, but I'm super excited about it. Are we talking linen?

Yeah, we're talking linen. Yes, girl. I'm going to guess by your present to yourself what age you are. Yeah, go for it. I think you are turning 26. 21 today. 21 and you're getting excited about bedding. Can I say, Zoe, you're ahead of your time and it's a very good thing

because once you learn how important bedding is, good quality bedding, you're on the up from there, mate. Beautiful. Hang it early. All right, so 2001 then. 27 up from there, mate. Beautiful. Hitting it early. 2001 then. 27th of Jan, 2001.

So you were 16 in 2017. And Zoe, your birthday banger is... I'm a star boy. A huge banger, Zoe. That's awesome. Love this song from The Weeknd. The Weeknd and Starboy. Tune, Zoe.

Really good. Okay. That's awesome. He's like my favourite artist. No way. Oh, even better. Oh, perfect. Okay, wait there, birthday girl.

We've got to deliberate between Cindy Lauper, The Weeknd and Queen B. I'm going the Lauper stuff. I'm going Beyonce. Are you? Yeah, it's not usually my cup of tea, but that Beyonce song, I really like the drums on it. Yeah. I'm going girls just want to have fun.

Steve liked it. I vibed it. We'll go to split vote, and today the split vote will go to producer Anastasia. You can choose all three. Cyndi Lauper, Beyonce, or The Weeknd. What's it going to be, Anastasia? Cyndi Lauper for sure. Yes, queen.

Love a throwback. Because why be Anastasia? Cyndi Lauper for sure Yes Queen Love a throwback Because why Anastasia? Us girls want to have fun Yes She got it And so does Steve Good call, good call Yes Stevie boy

Steve wants to have fun as well Steve Rock it Cyndi Rock it Cyndi Wants to have fun. Here's your birthday banger, Brian Clint. Let's hit him. Earlier

in the week, this piece of news came out of America where Joe Biden was at a press conference and he was taking questions from journalists and there was one particular journalist who asked a question and Joe Biden

didn't answer the question because he believed it was a stupid question. Right. And he muttered something under his voice but the hot mic that was right near him caught the whole thing. What a silly goose. We've got the audio here. Let's see if you can make out what Joe Biden muttered under his voice.

That's a great asset. More inflation. What a stupid son of a bitch. Did he just say, what a stupid son of a B? Yep. Wow. I mean, that's refreshing from a president. You know, keeping it real.

To say that to a reporter. If it was genuinely a stupid question, which it sounds like it was. Anyway, I saw this. I heard the audio and I thought, this smells like a remix to me. So I got, enlisted the help of producer Ben and I said

I need this particular song to be made with Joe Biden. So the first one we thought was Rihanna's song Bitch You Better Have My Money. Stupid song, I'll bet you. Oh no, wrong one. Yeah, yeah. Rihanna's song Bitch You Better Have My Money stupid son of a bitch oh no wrong one yeah yeah

son of a bitch better have my money y'all shouldn't help me well enough son of a bitch better have my money please don't call me on my blood

pay me what you want probably bigger than the one giving me your money it works it does work yeah I like it Pay me what you want it. Probably bigger than the one. Give me your money. It works. It does work. Yeah, I like it.

Yep. And the one that you already heard just before. It's iconic. The Britney song. Stupid son of a bitch. Works as well. It's stupid, son of a bitch. Anyway, there you go, Joe Biden. Even he gets caught out.

Yeah. Saying stuff under his breath. Oh, it's natural, I think. I think it's everyone does it. Yeah. Just not on a hot mic to hundreds of thousands of people. You should have heard some of the language Judith Collins used. I can imagine.

Telofa doesn't even begin to cover it. Brian Clint. Here's some space news. I told you I had space news and I told you it was sexy space news. Well, it better be sexy. Scientists have turned their attention to answering the question, can human beings reproduce in outer space? Have they not done this yet? Nah, not with people.

They got rats up there, do they? Yes. Yeah, yeah. No, you joke, but they're currently conducting experiments using mice and frozen mice stuff. I hope they defrost it before they stick it in the lady mouse because, ooh, cold. But they're trying to figure out, could human beings,

you know, could you get pregnant and out of space? So who is volunteering? Jeff Bezos. No, not really. I mean, it's good for the men. Why? Because there's no gravity. Why does that make it good for the men?

Think about it. Oh, everything goes up in zero gravity. Is that what you're saying? Well, they have less of an excuse. They're trying to figure it out because if we're going to Mars, they're saying that missions to the outer reaches of space are going to require reproduction. You know?

Some of these Mars missions, well, they reckon the first Mars mission, it's going to take three years to get there, and you're probably not coming back. If you go, you're probably not coming back. Well, I mean, it is a long coming back. But they would like you to... Well, I mean, it is a long flight, and it takes a long time to get over the jet lag. Yeah.

On a three-year flight. Yep, yep. Doesn't it? Plus, there's not many service stations to refuel on Mars yet. These are jokes, but you're probably not coming back if you're one of the first ones. Yeah, no. So they're sort of saying that if you're going,

you're going to colonise Mars, so can you have some babies on the way? Oh, my God, imagine if you're the first person. Is it really fair to make a kid and then the kid's born and then it grows up and it's like, yo, where am I? And they're like, oh, well, you're on Mars. Well, I think it's fine. Is it?

Yeah. What about there's no friends for the kid? Yeah, but obviously there'll be more than just one kid. They won't have one and go, let's see how this one goes for 20 years And then we'll have another one Logistically when it comes to space Indoor gardening I wonder how the logistics of it work

You know like Well what happens Clint is in the world of Sexual intercourse There's men No I know how that bit of it works But how does it work when there's no gravity you know Like do you have to strap in? You have to, like, does one of you have to be...

I think you're talking about a different type of arrangement. Does one of you have to be weighed down? Because there is strapping in and... No, I know all about that. I know all about that. Do you? Yeah. Have you done it before?

Have you? I'll just leave it there. Okay, I'll just leave it there. I think wherever, so say they're on Mars, I'm assuming they're not going to be in zero gravity because they'll have pods and stuff that won't have that. No, no, no. Yeah, I know.

I know. But they're talking about doing it on the spaceship on the way there. Well, why would they have to do it on the spaceship? I don't know, because you've been on the spaceship for three years. You've got to do something. So the only thing they're like, geez, we only have three years. We must make all the babies weekend.

I wasn't talking about the baby making, but I was talking about the... Three years. We don't have long guys. Anyway, they're locking into it, okay? Get ready for space. There's a woman who's like 55. They're like, you were born here to have a baby, damn it. You've got three years to make it happen.

I've gone through menopause. I don't care if you've gone through menopause. That'll do. That's enough space news for today, everybody.