ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – 28th January 2022

Episode Date: January 28, 2022

Did you date your neighbour?Deep heatDo you own a bidet?FridayOke!Teacher fartSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network Hi everybody, welcome to the Brie and Clint podcast on a Friday, our fifth podcast of the year. Yes, number five. Can I just say, if you're watching the Australian Open at the moment, get up there Ash Barty, she's made it to the final last night. She's going to win the whole thing. What do you reckon the prize money is? Million? Oh, I found out it was seven point something just to win it but then they get a massive amount for

each game so in the total it was like heaps. Wait, they win seven million dollars if they take out the Australian Open. No, it's a million isn't it? Maybe it was seven for total if you went all the way through. Australian Open. I remember seeing it going, shit that's heaps for 5 games I know it's a lot Is it only 5 games that they have to win?

Oh, well, I just threw that number out there I remember seeing you grass Australian Open 2022 Men's and women's singles The winner of the Australian Open will win 2.875 million dollars Here we go First round qualifying If you win win, $25,000.

Second round, $35,000. First round, $100,000. Third round qualifying, $52,000. It's the big one you want. If you win the whole thing, you get $2.8. Here we go. Winner, $2.875 for the men and women's. It was one of the first Grand Slams to make it even.

And one and a half million for coming second. Pretty bloody good. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good second prize. Because it's so easy to come second. I'm putting my kids in tennis. Are you? Yeah.

Read the Andre Agassi book. Why? Because his dad put him in tennis. Okay. He hates tennis. I know, but he's rich. Yeah, but he hates tennis. But did he hate it the whole

time? Yeah, he hated it the whole time. Why did he keep going for so long then? Family pressure? What, you're talking about applying to your kid? No, but I would do it in a, you know, loving and caring way. Oh, right, okay. You know, like, if you don't win, you sleep outside. If you don't win, I won't love or care for you.

Exactly. You know, just light pressure like that. Nah, I'm never going to be that person. Like, my parents are always, I feel like, what were your guys' parents like? Absolutely no pressure to do anything whatsoever. They just said, whatever makes you happy. My parents were exactly the same but also

whilst on the other hand also being super supportive and would drive me to so many different trainings and all that type of thing because we live so far out. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Mum's taxi always running for the extracurriculars. I always think if they had applied a bit more

pressure on me, what could I have been? Could I be a dentist? What could you have done? Dentist is a big one to shoot for. Doctor, doctor, doctor. Shoot for the stars. You could have been a dentist. Dentist, doctor.

Teeth doctor. I remember at the height of my sporting kind of training and stuff, my mum, because we lived in Stanthorpe, she'd drive me to Toowoomba on a Saturday morning. I'd play two club games of softball in Toowoomba. Then we'd stay with my auntie in Toowoomba on the Saturday night. Then we'd get up and we'd drive an hour and a half to Brisbane. And then I'd train for six hours in Brisbane with the Queensland team.

And then we'd drive three and a half hours home on a Sunday afternoon. And we did that, I think think for like five months every weekend. It was all to keep you off the mean streets of Stanford. It was all to keep, yeah, pretty much. I mean everyone else I went to, no I'm not going to say that actually. It's alright, it was implied, I know what you're going to say. Which is not true. There is a few people I went to school with that had kids really early but. Oh, you're going to go that way is not true. There is a few people I went to school with

that had kids really early. Oh, you're going to go that way. Sorry. What do you think I was going to say? I think it's a... Yeah, everyone smokes a bit of marijuana. Not the ones who are... No, I mean as a kid.

Who cares what you do as an adult? Extracurricular activities, as far as I understand them as a parent, are all about keeping your kids off the drugs while they're kids. Right, gotcha. Just get them to 18. That's the key. That's why my mum made me play so much sport.

Makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because what do they say? Idle minds and idle hands are the devil's playground. It's so true. If you're too busy to do any of that other stuff. Little did she know that you were addicted to performance enhancing steroids. I know. And you were shooting up in the changing rooms.

She didn't know that but she just thought she was like, God my kid is talented. She's like, shit my daughter is ripped. I have produced a very athletic human being. That's a very muscular 12 year old. Oh well, must be good genes. I develop so early and I get teased for it.

Muscles or? No, like as in I was really tall. Oh, right. I was really tall. Yeah, that's brutal. Girls get tall way before guys do. Like when I was 12, I was pretty much the height I am now. Really?

Like no shit. Was that movie Shallow Hell out at the time? Yes, I used to get, Bahamut, that's a huge bitch. And all the boys, you know what was the worst? Is all the boys, like once I went to high school, primary school was fine. Once I went to high school, all the boys hated me

because I'd just destroy all of them because I was so much taller. So I was so much faster, so much stronger than everyone. And they don't develop until they're like 15. And so I'd just punish everyone. Behemoth. They'd be like, this is a human. Oh, right. And then I remember this one time this kid went up to our PE teacher

and he was like, sir, sir, this is bullshit. Take Brianna Thomasel off our team. She's hurting all of us. I did break one of their collarbones. All right, let's do an international birthday banger. Here we go. It's my birthday. It's my birthday.

Brian Clint's birthday banger. The podcast. Who's missed this? This is your chance to hear your birthday banger. All you've got to do is join our Brian Clint Podcast Family Facebook page That's the name of it And submit your birthday on the pinned post

We'll start with Daniel Mainlander I believe it's pronounced Daniel Mainlander He's from Newton Mearns In Scotland Welcome Lassie Lassie means girl Welcome laddie He's from Newton Merns in Scotland. Welcome, Lasse. Lasse means girl. Welcome, ladde.

Yeah, that's better. Daniel, you were born on the 23rd of June, 1978, so you were 16 in 1994. And on your 16th birthday, this was number one. And I swear, I swear, by the moon and the stars in this house, I'll be there. Banger. Makes me think of the movie with Ryan Reynolds in it, Just Friends. Oh, yeah.

This has been in lots of movies, this, I think. I'll be there. I'll be there. Great song. Christine Nehor is next from Upper Hutt. What? Oh, she's local. She's part of the Upper Hutt posse.

You were born on the 4th of April, 1972, so you were 16 in 1988, and on your 16th birthday, this was number one. I should be so lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky. I should be so lucky enough. Kylie. Kylie Minogue. Back when she was still, like, properly Australian. Yeah. You know, like, full Australian. She didn't have a mixed English slash American.

She wasn't international. She was still on Neighbours. Yeah, true, yeah. Yeah. I Should Be So Lucky. 1988. She was still on Neighbours. Yeah, true, yeah. Yeah. I should be so lucky. 1988. Iconic from Kylie Minogue. One more for Nicholas Lee from Bradenton, Florida.

Bradenton? Oh, Bradenton. I used to live right near there. I visited some of my friend's parents in Palmetto, which is literally the township over from Bradenton, which is near Tampa Bay, which we were talking about earlier today. We're watching Selling Tampa on Netflix. Yeah, Bradenton's

kind of near Tampa. Stunning looking place. Beautiful place. Nicholas, you were born on the 17th of April 1985, so you were 16 in 2001. And here comes your birthday banger. Great song. I didn't understand this song at all

when I was a kid. In 19... 2001. 2001! You wouldn't have been a kid. You would have been a teenager. What a virgin. Why didn't I understand that? What was there to understand? How old would't have been a kid. You would have been a teenager. What a virgin. Why didn't I understand that?

What was there to understand? How old would you have been? Are you sure that's 2001? I think it would have been. Wow, okay. You would have been... I think the logistics. I just couldn't work them out.

Hold on. 20 years ago from now, so I would have been... 11? 11. Oh, yeah. Kind of a kid. Nah, older than that. 14. 20 years ago from now So I would have been 11? 11 Oh yeah Kind of a kid Nah, older than that 14

Okay, not so much then Virgin Virgin Big virgin Yeah, right, okay Anyway I vote for that song as the winner Me too

Yeah, go Here you go, Nicholas Lee From Bradenton, Florida Go Gators That's right Go Gators! That's right. Go Gators, Orange Country. Here's the winner of Birthday Banger. See you guys next week.

Enjoy the podcast. We'll just go to a little chorus bit and then we'll... Because he was cheating. I get it now. I get it because they were banging on the bathroom floor. Yeah, doing repairs. Yeah. Upnoon everybody Happy Friday

We've got a new intro But we don't have a new Friday intro We need one I'm eating chips You've got chips in your mouth That's right I'll take this up with Ben Ben

Can you get a version of this new intro But get that Remember the girl Who was in our Friday intro? She's like, oh my. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't use the Friday song. It's Friday then. Oh, yeah, that's good too.

Get that in there. Use a bit of that in there. Otherwise, how are people going to know it's Friday, man? Maybe, oh, maybe. Normally you guys would say happy Friday. Yeah, we did. Maybe Rebecca Black's, it's Friday, Friday. Yeah.

And what about a clip from the Ice Cube movie Friday? That'd be good too. Maybe we'll start with dialing it back to just that girl. We'll get the clip from her. Yeah, right. And we'll work from there. And then we'll work from there. And then someone goes, thank God it's Friday.

Yeah. Yeah. Lots of ideas. As you can tell, it is a Friday. The wheels are off and we've got a big show planned for you guys this afternoon, including Friday Okie. It's back for 2022. That's right.

Five o'clock today, we'll take on a Taylor Swift classic. Easy. She's such an easy artist to cover. I mean, you know, she's not that good of a singer. Such a middle-of-the-road voice that we just smashed it this afternoon. It's actually ridiculous how talented that woman is. That's coming up at 5 o'clock. You chance to win some KFC on the show today

with the One Second Song Challenge. But we'll kick everything off with Tradie vs Lady this afternoon. Yeah, if you want to play, 50 bucks up for grabs, all thanks to KFC. Call now, 0800 DIAL ZM. The Tradie's sitting on one, the Lady's out in front on three. Friday jams all afternoon too. Fun fact, this is my birthday banger.

Is it? Yeah. What is it? J-Lo and Jenny from the block. Great chain. Yeah. Happy birthday to me. Well, soon.

Brie and Clint, ZM. Brie and Clint. Brie and Clint. Trady versus Lady. Friday Jams is very confusing for her. I need to stop making fun of him because I don't know what a third is. No, we found that out this week. Brie's question to me was, is a third bigger than a half?

I feel like a lot of people don't know what a third is. Can I say? A lot of people. Don't just say dumb things and then go, a lot of people agree with me, okay? Yeah, fair point. Tradie versus lady, let's get into it. The lady's sitting on three points, the tradie's sitting on one win for the year. Let's bring our lady on today. She's 25, she's from Ashburton and she's a professional life coach. Damn! Welcome to the show, Destiny. Stop it! You're a professional life coach

and your name is Destiny. Correct. Thanks for having me, guys. I love that. You're a life coach. You're inspirational. Can you say something to Bree and I today to motivate us for our Friday show? Okay. Okay, I'm halfway through shopping, but I'll do my

best. Go on. Everything comes down to a decision So if there's any changes that you want to make in your life You just haven't fully decided And once you fully decide, you don't look back Sign me up, Destiny If there's anything you want to go after Just decide and truly go after it I like that

Or what about a game Of two halves It's two halves And makes up a whole game. I can stick with Destiny's one, to be honest. Chris is here as well. He's your opposition. He's 30. He's from Nelson, and he accidentally cut his left thumb off.

Whoa, welcome, Chris. Chris. Hey, team, how we doing? How did you manage that, mate? So, we're just going to do the tip. I've attempted it a couple of times. The first time I was cutting some kindling wood with a tunnel fork and took the tip to clean off.

Then about a year later, I had a knack off with the chainsaw. Right. With the chainsaw? Yeah, wow. Yeah, it's got a little vendetta against the left thumb. And then you thought, may as well just get rid of this. Like Destiny said, Chris, everything is a decision. You just decided that you didn't want that thumb anymore.

Your buzzer is tradie. Destiny, yours is lady. First to get three questions correct gets $50 cash. Thanks to KFC. Good luck, everybody. Here we go. Here we go, guys. Question number one. Who plays Katniss Everdeen in the Hunger Games movie series?

Which actress? She was also in Silver Linings Playbook. Her name rhymes with Minifer Smorrents. Jennifer Lawrence, lady. Destiny, what's your answer with Jennifer Lawrence, lady Destiny, what's your answer? Jennifer Lawrence That is correct Well done, how did you get that?

You guys have never seen the Hunger Games? No, I haven't Wow, that's interesting Yeah Wow Wow Question number two The ladies are one point ahead of the tradies

On average, how many nipples does a female dog have? Lady. Yes, Destiny. Six. No. Chris? I'm going to say four. No, guys, it's eight on average.

Some can have less, some can have more, but on average it's around eight. More than eight? Some can have more than eight. Wow, that's more nipple than dog. That is a lot of titties. Question number three, still one to the ladies. Guys, tell me who sings this song. Chris is in first.

Adele. That is Adele. Nice work. You're on the board, one apiece. Question number four. What colour is the San Francisco Golden Gate Bridge? Lady. Yes, Destiny. Gold?

No, you'd think it was, but it's not. Chris? Ah, colour? No, guys, it's red. You guys never watched Full House. No, they're too long. Oh, well, Chris isn't too young. Well, also, the bridge isn't famous because of Full House. It's a fairly recognisable landmark. Yeah, it's in a few movies. It's fine though, we'll move on. One a piece. Oh, well, Chris isn't too young. Well, also, the bridge isn't famous because of Full House. Like, it's a fairly recognisable landmark.

Yeah, it's in a few movies. It's fine, though. We'll move on. One apiece. All right, one apiece. Question number five. Melania Trump is in the news today after she failed to auction off some of her personal items. Who is Melania married to?

Trady. Yes, Chris. Shit. Come on., Chris. Shit. Come on. Donald Trump. Yeah. I mean, her last name gives it away. Surely Chris was joking just then.

He was joking. Yeah, I was. Two to the tradies, one to the ladies. Destiny, you need this one here, okay? It's all about making decisions. And you've got to do it right now with question number six. How old is Justin Bieber? Is he 26?

Lady. Yes, Destiny. 25. No, Chris. 26. He's 27. Question number seven. Still two to the tradies and one to the ladies.

You're really pushing us here, guys. Be and write some more questions. All right, here we go. Are we ready? Chris, you can take it out here. What is six times six? Lady. Destiny got in.

36. It is 36. We're up to question number eight. We've run out of questions. Can you think of one on the spot, Clint? Easy peasy. The winning question, what colour underpants am I wearing right now? Lady.

Destiny. Yes, Destiny. Grey. Oh, no. Chris? I'm going to say blue. No. All right.

What colour underwear am I wearing? Lady. Yes, Destiny. Black. She's got it. She's got it. She's a lady. Oh, oh, oh, she's a lady.

You've got to play it safe, Destiny. Always go black. Fun fact for our long-term listeners, our undercolour, always black. Always black. Always black. Don't know how you... Bree and Clint. We need to have a bit of a conversation about Mr. Bradley Pitt. Okay.

So you're Brad Pitt. That don't impress me much. Said no one ever. No one ever said that about Brad Pitt. I guarantee you, even at the peak of her powers, if mid-90s Brad Pitt had walked up to Shania Twain... She picked the hottest man in Hollywood. She would have been impressed.

Yeah, exactly. The story out about Brad Pitt today, because he's dating someone. Oh, yeah. A singer, and forgive me if I get this wrong, Like Lee? Oh, yeah. I think it's Licky Lee or Likey Lee. Likey Lee. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who is a Swedish. The girl who sings that Follow Rivers song. Swedish pop star. Yeah, yeah. She's cool. She's very indie. She's very indie. And I think the story is getting traction because it's a bit of a secret relationship

because Brad Pitt's still in the middle of a messy divorce with Angelina Jolie. Yeah. That's still going on. But it's because Brad Pitt and Likey Lee are neighbours. Oh! Yeah! Right! Buzzy, hey? Kind of hot too Yeah, I know. Like, did they meet across the fence? Like, how did they meet

each other? Surely, yeah, surely they did on the driveway when they were getting their mail in Maybe! And was he like come over for a wine? She was like, hey, aren't you that guy off Friends? He was like, yeah, I did do a couple of episodes. Oh, did a couple. No, she's hey, aren't you that guy off Friends? He's like, yeah, I did do a couple of episodes. Oh, did a couple. No, she's like, didn't you date that woman off Friends? He's like, hey, aren't you Likey Lee?

She's like, yes, yes, I am. It's real. Well, not real. It is. It's boy next door, girl next door stuff. It really is. Wow. I kind of find it really cute that they're neighbours.

It's cute because they're both single. Yeah. Because I'm sure there's plenty of over-the-fence relationships that have gone on. Do you reckon that happens a lot? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If your boyfriend or your husband works too much and you've got an attentive neighbour,

I reckon that's the tale as old as time. I reckon, I remember a girl I used to work with, her mum, who I used to work with, her mum, who I became good friends with because we used to go over there every Tuesday for Taco Tuesday. And I talked to her mum quite a lot and her mum had gone through a divorce and she bought this other house and she moved into this house and she ended up becoming

really good friends with the neighbour and then they married and then moved into the one house. Wow. And rented out the other house next door because they both owned the houses. That's efficient. Yeah. Yeah, isn't it? So that's how they met because they were next door neighbours. And that answers the question anyone who's been trying to hook up with Brad Pitt for years.

Move in next door. Just buy the multi-million dollar property next to his. This is, um, this, you'll know this song. You know this? Yeah, vibes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is her. Very cool.

I wanted to ask people this afternoon, 0800DIALZM, did you hook up with the neighbour? And what were The circumstances How did it happen Yeah how did it come about Did it end up In a marriage

Or was it just a fling Just a hot fling Was it secret Yes And are they still Your neighbour Yeah Like what if you guys

What if it fell apart And you still had to Live next to each other Like imagine If the Tim The What was his name Tim the tool man

Taylor Hooked up with Al. No, it was Wilson who he loved. Oh, Wilson. Al Ballin was his assistant. Well, imagine if he hooked up with both of them. Imagine if they did it a three-way. I know. 0800 dial ZM or you can text us on 9696.

Did you hook up with your neighbour? Rumours out today that Brad Pitt has shacked up with his neighbour Okay So you're Brad Pitt Hot Swedish pop star Licky Lee Brad Pitt apparently been seeing each other for six months or so You might have heard this if you were at like a cool party once

Or if you went to like a cool party once. Or if you went to Laneway in the 2010s. It's a vibe. Yeah. This is Licky Lee. And she's Passion Brad Pitt, the neighbour. That's right.

I'm hooking up with the neighbour. So we're asking you guys this afternoon on 0800 DIAL ZM, did you hook up with the neighbour? We'll talk to Martin first. Hi Martin. Hi Martin. How are you? Good, did you hook up with the neighbour? We'll talk to Martin first. Hi, Martin.

Hi, Martin. How are you? Good, thank you. Sexy beast. Martin, is this something you've put a feather in your cap for? This is a long time ago. So I was 10 years old when we moved town. And we moved next to a family that had a seven-year-old girl.

And I took one look at her and I thought, man, one day, I said to mum, one day I'm going to marry that girl. Yeah. And yeah, she never liked me. Well, she liked me as a best friend. And we ended up getting together and spending 23 years together. Got four children. We're not together now.

But yeah, it was a long hook up with a neighbour. Oh my god, a proper childhood romance. Sorry to hear that you're not together now but pretty cute story. It was really good. She did well, she dated my brother because she only liked me as a friend for years

and years. Before I was 19, sorry, yeah. Sorry, when I was, I gave up and moved away to university. And that year, she started writing to me because she missed me. And she said to me, maybe we should move in together. So she came up and started living with me. Oh, my God. I love that you said you moved there when you were 10,

and when you were 19, you decided to give up. You gave it a solid crack, Martin. You gave it a dick-ade. And as soon as you moved away, that's all you had to do. Take it away. You know, take it away from them and then they come. Martin, that's really good advice, actually. You had to play a little bit hard to get.

He's put a solid nine years of effort. It was worth it. I got four kids out of it, so it was worth it. Hey, that's fantastic. Congratulations. What a beautiful story. Kelsey's here as well. G'day, Kelsey.

Hi, Kelsey. Hi, how's it going? Good, thanks. Was it you that hooked up with a neighbour? It was. I was living in the country, so was the other guy. In the country, did you say? Yeah, just in the country, you know, like rural area.

Yeah. Yeah, there was a bit of flirting going on. I asked him over for, you know, cook him a few meals and stuff. And lo and behold, eight years later, two kids and happily married. Oh! Now, I've never lived in the country. Bree has. But I imagine...

You're not close neighbours normally. No, when you've got neighbours in the country, it's not like you talk over the fence, right? It's like down the road. No, no. You can't stand to their backyard or anything like that. So how did you catch each other's attention? How did you enter each other's, you know, sphere of...

So we were actually dairy farming on the same farm, but we'd never met each other prior to both going on the same farm. Right. Okay. Yeah. And so did you exchange messages By writing a message on the side Of one of the dairy cows? No, but that would have been a good idea

That would have been very cute Did you do the damsel in distress routine? Did you get one of the cows to poo on your head? And you're like, help, I need someone to Someone to wipe me down So you guys are still together now? Yeah, we are, we're married Oh, I love that story

So he made the first move, did he Kelsey? No, he're married, yeah. Oh, I love that story. That is lovely. So he made the first move, did he, Kelsey? No, he didn't. I did. Oh, good for you. Go, girl. Yeah. Someone's got her way.

Yeah. Go for what you want. Yeah. Romance everywhere. There you go. Your soulmate may be living right next door to you right now and you just haven't even thought about it. I mean, unless they're married or, you know, not the right age

or maybe, you know, or maybe they call noise control on you regularly. Maybe that too. But, just check. I mean, you can check. There's still a chance. Welcome to the show. The greatest daytime radio announcer in all the land. It's Georgia. It's me the land. It's Georgia. It's me. Hi, Georgia. Hi, Georgia Burt.

You're a ray of sunshine during the day. And sometimes you fill in for us in the afternoon. So thank you for doing that. Anytime, guys. How are you, George? Happy New Year. Happy New Year. It's like we've never seen each other.

I know. I haven't seen you since last year. Yeah, no. It's like this whole week's been a blur. Yeah, just haven't seen you. Friday j. Yeah, no. It's like this whole week's been a blur. Yeah, just haven't seen you. Friday jams go off on your show every Friday. And what you do is you do a great job of taking requests and shout outs on your show. Great job.

I mean. Today, someone took advantage of sweet Georgia and stitched her up with one of the shout outs that they sent through. Now, I believe this is becoming a bit of a running trend but old George Do you know about this do you? You don't always know do you? I like, no so this is the thing I know exactly what you're going to say

they come through pretty fast and humblebrag they do, they come through pretty quickly and I'm like I can't keep up and so I'm reading them and as I go sometimes one slips through the radar, you know? Someone took advantage of Sweet Georgia today. Oh no, it's a Mo and Bart Simpson situation. Absolutely.

This is a, yeah, totally. It's a most heaven. Look, I'm going to play you this shout out and Bree, you tell me if it jumps out at you, the issue with it, okay? This has come through on the text machine. Georgia, acknowledging all of her wonderful listeners, has just read it out.

See you, Faye, and it's church on ZDM's Friday Jams with Georgia. Big shout out to Daddy Finn, Callum, Joel, Brad, Emily, and Hayden at Dixie Normus Construction in Christchurch. G'day, g'day. Oh, no, Georgia. I thought, like, Dixie Brown's, the breakfast place, or Dixie Chicken. No, no, you meant like Dixie Browns

The breakfast place Or Dixie Chicken No no Dixie Chicks Georgia You've got to You've got to pre-read these things You know what is delicious

Is that cider That they make Dixie Cider Nah that's not it Dixie Dixie Cider Dix Dickens Cider

Dickens Itider Dickens It's an Irish brand It's an Irish brand Alright alright alright What about I got another one today So actually This all ended up in me

Being asked on a date tonight Somehow Right A new restaurant in Papamoa Opened up Go on Can I Or do I have to be careful

Nah go on Cinema Cinema Cinema Nuts In Papamoa Can I or do I have to be careful? Nah, go on. Cinema. Cinema. Nuts. In Peppermint. Cinema nuts. If you're texting these things into Georgia, okay? I'm going to clap whoever that is if you're listening.

That is good stuff. She's going to read them out. And she's the one who's going to get the broadcast and complain I heard they grew up to delicious foods Yum Real salty Brie and Clint, back in a second That's so good

Brie and Clint Look, a story out today about An actor by the name of Jason Isaacs You might have seen him in Harry Potter, the Harry Potter series. I think that's what he's most well known for. If you watch that really weird Netflix show called The OA, it had two seasons.

Which was quite big as well. It didn't make a lot of sense. It got cancelled. He was the guy who captured the kids and kept them in the basement. He's that guy. He often plays a bad guy. But, yeah, you'd know him if you know him, obviously,

and you would have if you watch a Harry Potter series. But he's 58, and there's a story out about him today where he was on a podcast, and he was talking about the first time he can ever remember injuring himself. Right, okay. And on the podcast, he started talking about the first time that he thinks he ever hurt himself was when he was 12 and his best friend gave him some Vicks Vaporub.

Oh, yeah. Right? Yeah. Because he had a bad chest. He actually had like a cough right so he said he was 12 and his friend gave this to him and he's rubbed it on his chest which was all good um and it's when he went to sleep that night and he said which is i find this quite strange when he was 12 he would sleep naked oh yeah at a sleepover. No, I, yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

Fair enough, whatever you're into. Whatever it is. Anyway, so he went to bed and he said, you know, as 12-year-old boys do, sometimes you hold on to your privates before you go to sleep or, you know. Not just 12-year-old boys.

All boys. All boys in general. You want to make sure it's safe. That's what he did. And he said after he touched them, he leapt out of bed, screamed, probably for his mum. Yeah. And he said it was one of the most painful things he can ever remember from his childhood.

Yeah, Bernie. Yeah, ouch. Not a good time. Yeah. Remember I had that run in with DP. That's right. Mine's worse. Yeah, and also equally innocent as well.

It was innocent. Yeah. So this was a couple of years ago. I had rolled my ankle on a night out and I was like, oh, some DP will help this because it was just so sore. So I've gotten out the deep heat, put it on my ankle, you know, Bob's your uncle, did the trick. At the time that this happened, it was that time of the month for me.

And that's all I have to say. You do the math on that. Because I never wash my hands afterwards. You had to change something. I had to change, you know, change the old tyre on the... You can say tampon. I had to change a tampon and I forgot that I'd used the deep heat and let's just say it was a disaster.

Oh. I'm not joking. One of the worst pains I've ever felt. A kid in class told me that you can get out of, when I was at school, told me you can get out of class if you put tiger balm under your eyes. It'll make you cry?

Because it'll make you cry and then the teacher will let you out of class. Yeah, that stuff's strong. I didn't think about it at all and I put it right on my lower eyelids. It's so sensitive. And it went straight into my eyes. I cried alright. My eyes caught fire and they went, they were

bright red. I was like, I have to go. I have to go. And she's like, what's wrong? And I just said, I put Tiger Balm in my eyes. And she goes, well then go. She's like. So it worked. I got out of class. You're an idiot. But it wasn't worth it. Literally, sting eye. That's what you had.

I want to ask people this afternoon on 0800 dial ZM. Might have been Vicks Vaporub. Might have been DP. Might have been Tiger Balm. Could have been chilli. Maybe you were cutting up some chillis. Oh, yeah. And later on in the night you forgot.

I want those type of disasters. When did you have a Bernie, Bernie type of disaster? Yeah. It could have been just you on your own. It could have been you with someone else. Oh, okay. Because I remember getting a few messages from people when I shared my story about those kind of instances.

0800 dial ZM or you can text us on 9696. When did you have a Bernie Bernie accident? Bree and Clint. We're asking you when did you put some... It was cream but you've broadened it out to chilli. It's chilli. It can be... There's quite a few things that have that sensation

that you don't want in certain areas. And we're not just want in certain areas. And we're not just talking about those areas. It can be other stuff too. It could be your eyes, it could be your mouth, it could be your nose. Just not nice. We're taking your calls this afternoon on 0800DIALZM. Let's start with Jen.

G'day, Jen. G'day. How are you? Good, thanks. Did you have one of these disasters where you put something in an area it shouldn't go? I sure did. What happened? Many years ago, I was playing rugby and I was the captain of the women's team.

And before the game, I went to the toilet and I had liniment on my hand. For the whole game, for the whole 90 minutes, my bum burned the whole game. And instead of getting player of the day, I got dick of the day. Yeah, I'll bet you did. Oh my Lord. Jan, did it make you run faster though? I think it did.

You know what they call that, Jan? What do they call it? Sting ring. Sting ring. That's what they call it. I'll bet you were the first I'll bet you were the first one In the showers after the game too, Jan Oh, was I, was

I can't believe you put up with it For the whole game That's a true player right there The problem Oh, I had to I was the captain I had to set an example The problem is down in that area too

When you're running Because I know this From friends of mine who run, it travels. Like as the two, excuse my French, bum cheeks rub together, it pushes. It pulls it in. Yeah, it pushes it in, it pushes it out, it moves it up, it moves it down. So by the end of the game, it would have been all around your area, right, Jen? It sure was.

It was terrible. I almost had tears. It was all up in the undercarriage. Not a good time. Dick of the day. Amy's here. Hi, Amy. Hi, Amy.

Hi, guys. Tell us what happened. What was the ointment or the item? So it was anti-flames. I was doing a dance exam, and a couple of days beforehand, I pulled, like, the upper inner thigh. Oh, yeah. Okay.

Yep. So I thought, oh, before I go into the darkness exam, I'll weather on the anti-flam, so I'm not sore. Yeah. And I get into the dark school, and it was a really hot exam room, and I started sweating. And it kind of spitted into places. It kind of burned.

Oh, same as Jen. Ah. And Jordan. Oh, sorry. And Amy, did you have to, like, obviously keep your concentration through this exam? I was trying my hardest. I was actually crying,

but, like, trying to smile through the tears. The ironic bit is... It got worse. I was wiping my tears away with my hands. Oh, no. Oh, no. The ironic bit is... I was burning from my hoo-ha in my eyes.

You're using an anti-inflammatory cream, but I bet you've never felt more inflamed in your whole life, right, Jordan? Am I right, Amy? Absolutely. I was horrified. You poor thing. Someone on the text machine, this is pretty bad. They said, I was brushing my teeth before a night out

and I grabbed the wrong tube. It was far too late before I realised it was D-Pete. Does that really happen? It could happen. I've seen people do, like, photos like that. I mean, D-Pete looks very similar to a tube of toothpaste, doesn't it? Yeah, I guess it does. It does look quite similar.

You'd know quickly. Finally, Jordan's here. Hi, Jordan. Hi, Jordan. Hey. How are you going? Good, thanks. Tell us,. Hey. How are you going? Good, thanks. Tell us, did you have one of these disasters?

Yeah, so I'm a qualified chef, and I was at work one day chopping up, so like bird's eye chillies and big red chillies for a chilli jam. Yes. And then after that, I decided that I'd go to the loo before service started. Went to the loo, got back to the kitchen. So it was about a minute later and then it started to burn. Around the front or around the back? Around the front.

Oh no, Jordan. Did you have a fire right down the eye of Mordor? Yep. Do you have a fire right down the eye of Mordor? Yeah, so, but the thing is, my chef told me the only way you can get rid of chilli burn, the burning of the chilli, is lemon juice. No! So I cut the lemon in half. No! No, you didn't.

And I squeezed lemon all over it. He was winding you up. Was it just on the area, it didn't go in? No, up. Was it just on the area? It didn't go in? No, just on the area, like on the outside and it actually works. Oh, it did work? Yep.

There must be something in the acids. I thought he was winding you up when you said the apprentice to get a left-handed hammer. Jordan, as much as I believe it worked for you, I'm going to not recommend that for the females. No, no, no. I think not a good idea. I would have thought the only way to deal with it

was to drink a lot of milk and then have the milk come out to the other end, right? Good work, Jordan. That's a life hack for you if you ever get chilly down your willy. Brie and Clint. Time is waiting. You only get one second of a song. No hesitating.

You only got one second of one second. Welcome back to the One Second Song Challenge for 2022, where Brie and I go head-to-head guessing songs as quickly as we can. But you've got to help us if you want to win the KFC. It is a duo effort, and I've got Jess today. G'day, Jess. Hi, how are you? Come on, let's do this thing for a Friday.

That means... Yes, why not? Absolutely. You've got it. My team, questing for some free chicken this afternoon, is Emma. Hi, Emma. Hiya. We're going to do this. You know your music?

I like to know. Just give it a bit. Just give it a whirl. Yeah, just chuck it out there. That's what I do every day, Emma. Anastasia's going to set the game up for us. What are the rules, Anastasia? Hey, guys.

We'll play the start of a song. The first person to buzz in with the correct song title and artist wins their team a point. The first person to buzz in with the correct song title and artist wins their team a point. The first to three points wins. Bree and Clint play a round and then Emma and Jess will give it a go. All right. Today's theme is the most streamed songs of summer. Most streamed songs of summer.

All right. Bree and Clint, when you're ready, let's hear song number one. Bree! It's BTS. It's BTS. Smell like butter. How did you get there? No idea.

I was not. How did you get there? You got three beats. Smell like butter. It's those first three beats are the same as the chorus. Yeah, well done. Have you been practicing over the holidays? All right.

That was an absolute fluke. But Jess, we got a point. Brilliant. Well done. Let's go. Good job, Brie. All right, girls, your names are your buzzers. Let's hear song number two.

Emma. What are we doing? Emma's in. Olivia Rodrigo. Good for you. Yeah. Again, a couple beats. Yeah, well done, Emma.

That was very good. That was so good, Emma. It was a good game. A very highly played song. I'll say. Yeah, for sure. Of the year. Of the year, yeah.

All right, guys. Brianne Clint's turn. Let's hear song number three. Clint. Masked wolf, Astronaut in the Ocean. I was never going to get that. Are people still listening to that song? Apparently so. I haven't heard that song for a long time.

Yeah, right, okay. Big on TikTok. TikTok streams always get up. Yeah, okay. Jess, we need this one from you to keep us in it, okay? Yeah, right, no pressure. You can win it here to keep us in it, okay? Yeah, right. No pressure. You can win it here, Emma.

You can take the game. All right, girls. Your names, your buzzers. Let's hear song number four. Emma. Emma's in. Emma. Ed Sheeran.

And? Bad Habit. Emma, I think you might be one of the best players we've had on this game. Jess, no hard feelings. She was fantastic. She was fantastic, yeah. I'll give her that one. We got beat by a great team this afternoon.

Absolutely. Hey, Emma, you got 50 KFC chicken dollars coming your way. Congratulations. Oh, awesome. Thank you so much. She would have beat us, Clint. I reckon. She would beat us Clint I reckon She would have smoked us

It should be me and you Versus Emma next week Yeah Brie and Clint I told you before I know what the hottest item When it comes to home renovations Currently is

Is it a certain dancing pole? No it's not a stripper pole No I'd love one of those Would you that very Early 2000s I feel I was going to say practical Practical you think? Yeah who I'd love one of those. Would you? The very early 2000s, I feel. I was going to say practical. Practical, you think?

Yeah, who doesn't love that at a party? No, a fireman's pole is practical. I'd love a fireman's pole too. Going from floor to floor. No, it's not that. Apparently, the hottest new item to have in your house, and if you're planning a Reno, this is something you should look into getting,

could add heaps of value to your house. Rain shower? Not a rain shower. It's a bidet. You know how I feel about bidets. I know you like a bidet. Remember when we first started this show? Well, I know you like the idea of a bidet.

I've never got to use one. You know when we first started this show and we went on the hunt for a bidet? That you could use. It was a bidet hunt that we could use. And no one said that they had one. No, no one volunteered up their bidet for your behind. Which I kind of get it. It's a very personal thing.

Well, it doesn't make contact. The bidet market is booming at the moment. They are saying, apart from being a novelty item, they're good for people who have mobility issues, like if you can't get back there. Right. People who have hemorrhoids, like if you don't want to rub down there. Oh, yeah, of course.

Good for lazy people who just can't be bothered. The list goes on. Also good for the environment, a bidet. Less toilet paper. Yeah, because if you don't know what a bidet actually is, it's a little... It's a water fountain for your bum. Yeah, it's a little jet of water that shoots up your b-hole, you know? That's exactly what it is. It's a bum water fountain.

Yeah, a bum fountain. It's a bum fountain. They're saying when you wipe, you're basically wiping what can be reached, not what can't be reached. Oh no. When you wipe, you're basically wiping what can be reached, not what can't be reached. Oh, no. When you spray, you get into every nook and cranny, which leaves you way cleaner.

So they're more hygienic as well. That's what they're saying. I know I don't need to sell it to you. I'm just saying. No, I'm on board the bidet. That's why it's popular. I've also never used a bidet, but I wonder if they are so popular, do we have any people listening to us right now who used a bidet but I wonder if they are so popular do we have any people listening to us right now

who own a bidet? And we're talking about a personal bidet in their house. Yeah, do you have a bidet in your house? Either it's a properly installed one where it's the separate bowl to the main toilet. Or will you accept the hose on the side of the toilet? Because that's super common in Asian countries. Nearly every Asian toilet has the hose.

Okay, yeah, if you've got the hose, we'll take that. But it's not the same. I say we don't accept that. There's also those Japanese toilet seats that you can install where it's got a little nozzle that comes out when you finish and then it shoots it straight up in there. I've had that. I've run in with those.

Have you? Yeah. I went to Japan. Well, then you have used a bidet. I run in with those. Have you? Yeah. I went to Japan when I was... Well, then you have used a bidet. Well, I didn't count it as a bidet, and it wasn't by choice. Oh, right. I didn't know that I was using it.

You did not consent. I was 16, and I thought I was flushing the toilet, and it was a big shock. I don't forget anybody. But do you have a bidet in your house? Do you use one? What's it like? Is it the future?

Or are they awful devices? I've never been to a house where they've had a bidet. I feel like it's going to be hard to find. We'd love to hear from you. 0800 DIAL ZM. Bounce. Or you can text your bidet experiences in to 9696. Bree and Clint.

Forget robo vacuums and air fryers. The hottest new item to have in your house for 2022 is a bidet. A toilet that cleans your butts. I've been on board the bidet for years. I mean, I think it's a very, you know, elaborate household item though. It feels luxurious, doesn't it? It does, but it shouldn't.

We should normalise the bidet. Is the bidet like buying an electric car? Eventually it will pay for itself in the amount of money you save on toilet paper. It will. And just think about it. I just read someone's text who said they have a bidet and they said, guess what? When there was a toilet paper shortage during COVID,

we had no issues. Didn't affect them because they had a bidet. We're asking, do you have one in your house? And what is life like? We'll start with Paul. G'day, Paul. Hi, Paul. Hi, how are you?

You got a bidet? Yeah, yeah. It was put in the house. Well, it was in the house when we brought it. We'd been in the house about two years. Do you use it? Yeah, yeah. It was weird to use the first time, but nah, it's good as gold now. Paul's like, now I love it.

And it has a remote and everything and, like, heats the water. Oh, a nice warm jet of water. It's a fancy bidet. Can I ask, are you so used to it now that when you go somewhere else that doesn't have a bidet, it feels weird to use toilet paper? Yeah, I feel like such a peasant when I go to use toilet paper. Okay, Paul, thank you. Love that for you, Paul.

First-hand bidet experience. Bradley's here. Hi, Bradley. G'day, Brad. How's it going? You calling us from the lap of luxury, Bradley? Do you have a bidet? I don't, but I had one when I was a kid in Japan,

and I really didn't like it. It was a bit weird. Oh, okay. Interesting, because obviously a super common thing, that's where I had my bidet experience in Japan. Yeah, it was 2011, so yeah, it's back in the days. These are quite high-tech, hey? Yeah, it is, and it sings, it's back in the days. There's a quite high tech, hey? Yeah, and it sings to you.

It sings to you? Yeah, it does. What does it sing? There's all these different options. Like they do a mist slash a different type of all that. You know how like a shower head. Who only needs a mist? You know how on a shower head they have all the different options of stream?

Yeah. So if you want it real fast or if you want it soft or if you want it, you know, medium, there's all that. So can I just confirm, Bradley, you're anti-bidet having used one? I'm anti-bidet for sure, yeah. I did not like it. Yeah, good to get a bit of balance. Well, have you used it recently, Bradley? Because maybe your tastes have changed.

Yeah, right. It's 10 years on. Are you keen to have another go? No. Not at all. He knows what he likes. And a bidet is not it. Keisha is here.

Hi, Keisha. Hi, Keisha. Hi, how are you going? Good, thanks. Do you have a bidet? Yes, I do. And I've worked for a bidet company. I used to work for them for 10 years.

You're a bidet expert. I am. I am. Here's an opportunity, Keisha. Are you looking for a bidet expert I am Here's an opportunity Keisha Are you looking for a bidet influencer Because Bree She has a lot of Instagram followers I definitely rep a bidet

A lot of TikTok followers I've never seen a TikTok on a bidet But I think Bree could do it Do you think we could work out a deal Where you install one of your bidets in Bree's house Look I don't work for the company anymore, but when I did, I definitely would have. Yeah. Well, you put me in touch with people.

I definitely would have. I could be New Zealand's first bidet influencer. Yeah, right? You could be. I've got a bidet, so any time you want to come to New Plymouth, you can come use it. Keisha, I will hold you to that. And the next time I'm there, I'm coming to your house, Keisha.

Yeah. No, definitely. Definitely. They're the best thing you'll ever use, honestly. Honestly. You've got to have a bidet in your home. I feel like it's life-changing. That's a passionate review. It does sound life-changing. And at first I was like, ugh, yuck. But they, I mean, really, it's, well, I reckon once you

use one, you think it's yuck not to use one. Well, you know what? Like Paul said, what are all us peasants sitting around doing? We need to go get bidets. Yeah. For now, we just have to keep using the shower head like we have been using, right? There's long ones on the corner. I'm not meant to talk about that on there.

Brie and Clint. Time for Friday Okie, everybody. And now it's time for Br Bree and Clint's most popular segment, Friday-oke. I love Friday-oke. It's the best. I listen every Friday. I never miss Friday-oke.

Thanks, Bree and Clint. You've made my Friday again. F-F-F-Friday-oke. Welcome back to it, everybody. Here we are. I joked before that it was almost everybody. Here we are. I joked before that it was almost cancelled. And then Ben took that as verbatim and said, no, it's cancelled, you said it.

Yeah, but he's a big supporter. You're back on board now, eh, Ben? He's actually made it happen this week. Yeah, yeah. So if you want to thank someone or complain to someone, that's producer Ben. This is our feature where each week we go head-to-head in a singing competition.

We take a week about picking the song and then we spend 15 minutes with a professional audio engineer making it sound as good as possible. This week, after being accused of not writing our own songs, we thought we'd do Taylor Swift. The incredible Taylor Swift. This is one of my favourite Taylor Swift songs. Yes.

Favourite to sing? No. After attempting it this week, definitely not. Well, we've both done it. I picked it, which means I'll go first. Once you've heard both songs, we'll invite you to vote on the winner on 0800Diles.nm. But let's just get into it, you know?

Let's give it a crack. Grab the bull by the horns. Here comes my blank space. Enjoy, everybody. Happy Friday. Nice to meet you, where you been? I could show you incredible things. Magic, madness, heaven, sin.

Saw you there and I thought, oh oh my god look at that face you look like my next mistake loves a game wanna play hey new money suit and tie i can read you like a magazine ain't it funny rumors fly and i know you heard about me. So hey, let's be friends. I'm dying to see how this one ends. Grab your passport and my hand. I can make the bad guys good for the weekend. So it's gonna be forever or it's gonna go down in flames. You can tell me when it's over If the high was worth the pain Got a long list of ex-lovers They'll tell you I'm insane But I've got a blank space, baby

And I'll write your name Wait, they didn't have to isolate that one line. I think it gave it a bit more... They didn't even take the music out on that one line. Gave it a bit more spice. That was... I feel like... Uncalled for.

I feel like if I had to think about what you would sound like singing that song, I feel like it was spot on. Oh, congratulations. You know? You manifested that. Hey, there were some good moments in there. Was there? Yeah, I think so.

Okay. I think so. You got some good moments in yours? You remember, you know how I do that thing where I do the sexy voice thing? Yeah. I think I may have fell into that trap this week. The thing is when you do that voice, it's not a joke. No, it's me trying to actually do it.

Okay, well, let's hear it then. Here comes Breeze Blank Space, everybody. Come on. You can vote on who did the best after this. Nice to meet you, where you been? I could show you incredible things. Magic, madness, heaven, sin. Saw you there and I thought, oh my God, look at that face.

You look like my next mistake. Love's a game, wanna play? Oh, holy shit. New money, suit and tie I can read you like a magazine Ain't it funny, rumors fly And I know you heard about me So hey, let's be friends I'm dying to see how this one ends

Grab your passport in my hand I can make the bad guys good for a weekend So it's gonna be forever Or it's gonna go down in flames You can tell me when it's over If the high was worth the pain Got a long list of ex-lovers They'll tell you I'm insane

But I've got a blank space, baby And I'll write your name It's actually alright. I was waiting for a train wreck. I was waiting for it to just... I don't know if it was as sexy as some of your voices. No, no. I think you were okay.

It was, yeah, I think I... It was the only range I could find that sounded average. Well, can we get five votes on our $800.00 to pick the winner this week of Friday Okie, the first Friday Okie of 2022? If you give us some feedback as well, like some constructive criticism, you can win some KFC chicken dollars this afternoon.

Did you see that tick? Oh. I resent that tick. Brie wasn't trying to push anything in. I wasn't. Even though it may have sounded kind of like this. Five votes. 0800 dial ZM. We'll pick a winner

of Friday Okie. Brie and Clint. And we're in the middle of a Friday Okie. B-B-B-Friday Okie! A weekly singing battle where we take on each other. And this week a Taylor Swift classic. Who's the best Swifty out of the both of us?

Well mine sounded like this. Got a long list of ex-lovers they'll tell you I'm insane but I've got a blank space baby and I'll write your name. Jeez that's jarring. I hate.

I warmed into that. I hate when that happens because it's happened to the both of us where they isolate the worst part of our performance. Or is it Breeze? And I'll write your name. They only gave you one line as your replay. I said to Al, he goes to me, he goes, this is a fantastic line. He goes, should I just put this as your

replay? That's the only bit. Yeah. Play it one more time. Hang on. Got it? Pretty good. Well, that did not influence the vote, okay? Pretty good. Let's get some votes on. William's here. Hey, William. Hi, William. Hello. How are you? I'm good, thanks. That's good. William, tell us, what are your thoughts this week? It was pretty good. Clint had a big voice crack in the middle of it, and Bree was Bree. Yeah.

If you had to vote for one, who are you giving it to this week, Will? Clint. Thank you. Oh, Will, you're killing me here. Even with my testy for one, who are you giving it to this week, Will? Clint. Thank you. Oh, Will, you're killing me here. Even with my testy blower, I appreciate that. Lizzie's here. Hi, Lizzie. Hi, Lizzie.

Hi. Who's got it this week in Fridayoke? I'm going to have to give it to Bree because I don't think I've laughed that hard in such a long time. What? You enjoy it? I loved it. It was awesome. Don't change that sexy voice.

Oh, thank you, Lizzie. Nah, thank her in your sexy voice. Thanks, Lizzie. Ooh. Ooh. All right, we'll pop Lizzie on hold. She needs a minute to cool down. That's one apiece.

Let's go to Miles. Hi, Miles. Hi, Miles. Hello. What did you think of our Friday Okie Taylor Swift special? It was amazing. I thought so. I'm a bit confused now, though, because originally I'd gone with Clint,

but now, after hearing that sexy voice there, I was like, oh, I'm a bit confused. I don't know if I'll go Bree or Clint. Oh, jump ship, Miles. Jump ship. No, no, no, no, no, no. Hey, Miles, come on over. Oh, no. Am I really losing your vote, Miles? Are you going Bree? I'll be original. Hey Miles, come on over. Oh no.

Am I really losing your vote, Miles? Are you going Brie? I'll be original. I'll go with Clint. I have to stick with what my gun said today. Well, thank you, Miles. Oh, I love it. That felt weird.

That was awkward. I appreciate it though. 2-1, let's go to Matt. Hey, Matt. Hello, Matt. Hey, team. How's it going? Good, thank you, Matt.

What are your thoughts this week? I think Clint killed the song for me, but Bree, you brought it back. So my vote's with Bree. Yes, Matty, my man. You're keeping me in the game. I love it. Cheers, mate. Bye, Matt.

He's giddy. Okay, tie break. Thanks, Matt. We'll go to Terina Hi Terina Hi Terina Hey how you guys doing Good thank you

You've got the deciding vote In Friday Oki this week Who's it going to be Well you know what That's the best I've heard you both sing To be honest Really Really

Yeah yeah And I thought it was really really awesome But I'm going to have to go with Bree Yes, my girl! She took me right there She's like, Clint, I'm going to have to give it to Bree I thought you were going to say

And I'll write your name There you go One sexy send-off coming your way, Tarina Here it is Thank you Bye, babe We'll see you tonight Bye Bye See ya Kisses Thank you. Bye, babe. We'll see you tonight. Bye.

Bye. See you. Kisses. Get a room. She hung up. Do you want me to introduce the next song? Yeah, go on. I'll do Birthday Banger.

Get the Birthday Banger call. Birthday Banger, if you want to play, call us. No, in the sexy voice. Oh. If you want to play Birthday Banger, call us now. 0800-DIAL-ZF. There you go. Brie and Clint.

Time for a birthday banger. Brie and Clint's birthday banger. We do this at the same time every day on our show. Three of you guys will find out what was number one on your 16th birthdays and then we'll pick our favourite one to play. Emily's up first. Kia ora, Emily. Happy Friday.

Hi, Em. Hi. Happy Friday. How's your week been? Yeah, it's been okay. Oh, well, let's see if we can make it a bit better with your birthday, Banger. What's your birthday? The 7th of December, 1996.

Okay, Em, you were 16 in 2012. And on the 7th of December, your 16th birthday, this was number one. Olly Murs. What's the show that he's on? Is he on The Voice? I think he's a judge on The Voice. Yeah, that's it, eh? Yeah.

This was huge. Do you like this song, Emily? Not my favourite, but a pretty good song. Yeah, that's it, eh? Yeah. This was huge. Do you like this song, Emily? Not my favourite, but a pretty good song. Yeah. It's an upbeat song, which is good. He wasn't quite a one-hit one. He had a couple of songs, but... He had a few, but... I know, I get Emily's vibes. Let's go to

Jaden. Hi, Jaden. Hi, Jaden. G'day, how are you? Good, mate. How's your week been? Oh, busy. Yeah. What do you do? Oh, I'm a joinery manager. Oh, yeah, good. you? Good, mate. How's your week been? Oh, busy. Yeah. What do you do? Oh, I'm a joinery manager. Oh, yeah, good. Oh, yeah, God. Not easy work, the old joinery.

Ready, I'm going to pretend to know what it is. I can tell you're pretending. You have no idea what I do. No, no, hold on. She's bloody hell, Jaden. That's tough hard yakka, mate. It's kind of in the carpentry world, isn't it, Jaden? Oh, similar. Yeah, I got him. I yakka, mate. It's kind of in the carpentry world, isn't it, Jaden? Oh, similar.

Yeah! I got him! I love it, Jaden. And windows and doors and stuff like that. Yeah. He joins things. Skirting and, you know, sideboard. What's your birthday, Jaden?

20th of September, 1994. All right, Jaden, you were 16 in 2010. I saved that, didn't I? Well done. The 20th of September, and here's your birthday banger. We'll be young forever. You make me feel like I'm living a teenage life.

I can see you, Jaden, putting together a kitchen cabinetry set, just belting this out of the top of your lungs. Am I right? Wearing a cupcake bra. Yeah, you might be right. And a pair of ar top of your lungs. Am I right? Wearing a cupcake bra. Yeah, you might be right. Yeah. Yes. And a pair of arseless chaps.

You know what's so funny about the saying of arseless chaps? All chaps are arseless. I had this exact conversation with Lucy. If they had an arse in them, they wouldn't be chaps. They wouldn't be chaps. Yeah. Mind blown. Yeah, all chaps are arseless.

Here's Kim. Hi, Kim. Hi, Kim. Hi. You've never owned a pair of arsed chaps are arseless. Here's Kim. Hi, Kim. Hi, Kim. Hi. You've never owned a pair of arsed chaps, have you? They would look weird. Can't say I have. Well, that's just pants.

No, it'd be a pair of pants without a crutch. Yes, good point, actually, yeah. A crutchless pair of pants. And that's for no one. Kim, what's your birthday? 27th of July, 1997. All right, Kim, you were 16 in 2013. And on the 27th of July, on your 16th birthday,

this had a number one hit. Banger. Bit of Miley Cyrus. You like a bit of Miley, Kim? Oh, every now and then. Yep. Everyone's not super keen on their birthday bangers today, which is okay. Well, I'm keen on Kim's.

I vote for that Miley Cyrus song to win birthday banger today. Yeah, I think I'm with you. I like that vibe. Oh, there we go. Well then, let's do it. Congratulations, Kim. You just won birthday banger. Woo-hoo. Woo-hoo. Definitely a Friday vibe, for sure. All right, Kim. You just won birthday banger.

Definitely a Friday vibe for sure. Hurricane. Get your arseless chaps ready, everybody. And your coachless pants. I've got a fantastic story for you this Friday afternoon, Clint. You'll love this one. This is right up your alley. Right.

And it's about a French class. And this girl has posted online a story about her French class. And at the moment, obviously, with COVID, there's a lot of online testing and all that kind of stuff. Yeah. Right. Anyway, she said she was taking a French quiz, one of the tests. Oui. Online.

Oui. And, I mean, we've got audio of it here, but I'll give you the premise of it. So, essentially, there's a piece of audio which is in French. Sure. And they need to translate that. Okay. That's essentially how it works. But you listen to what happened to some of the audio.

So, I'm in this French class and there's this learning tool that we have where there's an audio of the question and then we respond with typing. And then you would type in your response. What's interesting about this one is this one's two minutes and 13 seconds and it's all silence until this part. What?

Oui, oui. That's a good point. What is the French translation for? I think the French translation is le fort. Is it um, meurt? Le fluff. How funny is that? The teachers obviously accidentally uploaded it.

That's grim. Also, if anyone's going to bully you for your online fart, it's a class full of teenagers. I know. They're not going to let you live it down. You know what? They all apparently went into class the next day and they were like, oh, teacher, pew, pew.

This part. That's good stuff for a Friday. Come on. Bon fart, everybody. That is good stuff. As you might know, the move to the red in the traffic light system means that all the big summer events are now off

for the foreseeable future which is devastating uh obviously for artists musicians you know live performances it's it means literally loss of their entire income that's right what you might not realize is unlike last time there is no government payment for the people who are affected by this, who work in that industry. But there's one man who's taking things into his own hands, and he joins us right now. Welcome to the show, Will from Saatchi. Hello.

Yes, Will Lashko. The Caped Crusader on a mission for the live events community of New Zealand. How are you going, man? Very, very good. I've accidentally become the spokesman for at least the artist side of the music industry, which was not what I was intending on doing, but I guess I was going to do it. You're shooting for the head, man. You're going for it.

I've seen you personally tweeting the Prime Minister and getting at her on Instagram as well. Have you had a response from anybody in the government about what you're asking for yet? The only politician that's reached out is David Seymour. Coincidentally, this morning he literally called me and was just wanting to say, you know, he was like, oh, great work on the petition, et cetera, et cetera. And I was like, is there anything you can do to like press Jacinda on it? And he's like, oh, you know, the petition, et cetera, et cetera. And I was like, is there anything you can do to press Jacinda on it?

And he was like, oh, you know, the last person she's going to listen to is me. And I was like, oh, okay, right. Was that a weird thing, getting a call from David Seymour early in the morning? I was like, hey, bro. Well, I guess, hey, Mr. Seymour. It's kind of like when your teacher calls you. Yeah. We were like, yo, it's the weird guy from Dancing with the Stars.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, oh, sweet. So kudos to him for reaching out. Totally. Because literally Carmel Cipollone, who's the arts minister, has just been, it's just radio silence, essentially. I just keep getting the notification on my email that it's been forwarded to someone else and forwarded to this person and forwarded to the like but no

one's said you know okay let's jump on a call so spell it out for us will from sachi who does this affect with gigs being cancelled and no support payment who apart from you musicians who does it really affect thousands of thousands of people um right down to the people that set up the fences and deliver the portaloos and rent out the AV equipment and the artist liaisons or the tour managers and caterers and security. These live events, these big festivals especially, employ thousands of people, thousands and thousands of people and also you know the live uh also the small venues uh can't have shows and you know that employs bar staff and

um you know that they're also great um foundations to have small upcoming um artists um play on those stages so so what do you guys need so you're doing something what do you guys need? So you're doing some work. What do you guys really want? Well, what we immediately need is the reinstation of some sort of support payment, like the wage subsidy or the resurgence payments, which was around in the last lockdown, which isn't around anymore. And also just kind of like a long-term plan that is kind of established with the arts industry and the government around new protocols that could be put in place to make sure that these events can go forward in the future safely and have a little bit more consistency and clarity around what the actual

factors are that are required for those events to go ahead. Absolutely. I've just looked on the website. You can sign the petition at change.org. It's so far got 19,234 signatures, which is massive. And that's only in the last however many days. Three days. Three days.

That's the amount of people. So you've got so much support behind you. There it is. Go and sign the petition, everybody. That's Will from Saatchi on a crusade for the live events industry. Thanks, man! Thanks, Will! Thank you so much, team. Get the full menu delivered to your door

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