ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – 29th April 2022

Episode Date: April 29, 2022

How to napBree finally ‘made it’Bens leaving gifts for the showFriday-Oke!BYE BEN (well…bye me)Thanks for listening guys! Love you allSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Just a heads up, if there's kids listening, this podcast intro has some dirty content in it. Hello everybody, welcome to the Brie and Clint podcast on a Friday. It's Ben's last show and Ben's last podcast, but we're not going to talk about it. Okay? It's in the show. Yeah, I don't want to talk about it. It's in the show. We're not talking about it. I'd rather talk about butt stuff.

No more butt stuff. Unless Ben on his last podcast. Ben, what do you want? I would like... Because if you choose... No, wait, wait, wait. Because if you choose butt stuff... Which I'm not.

You're going to have to put a warning on the front of this. I don't choose that. And at the end of the show, you're finished. You're done with us. So it is one more thing that going to have to put a warning on the front of this I don't choose that And at the end of the show you're finished You're done with us So it is one more thing that you'd have to do But if that's what you want I will waive my personal butt stuff ban For Ben

Is butt stuff a no-go for you? No, just in podcast sense Oh, just in podcast Good to clear that up But also, you can't ask me about my real life preference Why not? Because it's invasive. Are you a top or a bottom?

Here's a good question. In the gay world, would Clint be a top or a bottom? Again, this is Ben's choice about whether he wants butt stuff. I think he'd be a switch, but mainly bottom. Can we bring back the them sleeping together when we go on road trips? I would bring up the top and bottom chat.

That's horrifically out of context. Ben and I did not sleep together on a road trip. go on road trips chat no we're bringing up the top and bottom chat okay hang on that's horrifically out of context Ben and I did not sleep together on a road trip I've said it like that on purpose

no it was one time and we said we wouldn't talk about it on the podcast Bruno would carefully cuddle and have no issues

so Ben I think we have Ben what's your choice well I feel like we've said too much butt stuff now. I'm going to have to put an explicit warning on. So you might as well. Speaking of...

Now you've opened the butthole floodgates. The butthole's open now. Now it's time for some diarrhea. Have you seen... Make it quick, by the way. We're tight on time. It's time for some diarrhea. Have you seen, did you guys see? Make it quick, by the way. We're tight on time. Did you guys see that the Spider-Man movie from 2003 got a line taken out of it?

No, what was the line? So apparently it was a homophobic line that Tobey Maguire, well, not obviously him, but his character, Spider-Man, says, and they've literally taken it out. Oh, that's good. At least it was Tobey Maguire and not Uncle Ben. Because Uncle. Oh, that's good. At least it was Toby Maguire, not Uncle Ben. Because Uncle Ben's from that other generation. You're like, oh, dear Uncle Ben. There's a chance he was like, no homos.

That that was taken out too. Uncle Ben, RIP. Yeah, RIP. Okay, Ben's got a flight to catch, so let's do an international birthday banger. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's Brian Clint's birthday banger.

The podcast. Ben's leaving. We don't want to talk about it. It's in the show. You'll hear it Brian Clint's Birthday Banger The podcast Ben's leaving We don't want to talk about it It's in the show You'll hear it in the show I don't want to talk about it Okay this is where you tell us Your birthday On the podcast group

Ben's been managing this By the way Have we got this under control When he leaves? I don't want to talk about it You tell us your birthday And we tell you what Your birthday banger is

First one is for Greta Penny From Auckland Oh how international Right here in Auckland. I wonder if she lives near me. She was born on the 18th of February 2005, which means she was

16 last year. And in February... That's not possible. In February last year this was number one. I've got PTSD. This is a fantastic song. Not when I sung it. Oh, you're PTSD about that, right.

I love this song. I agree. It's a great pop song. Hey, nice that we have a 16-year-old listener. Yeah, that is cool. Good to know her appeal. Well, she's 17 now. Hopefully she hasn't listened to the butt stuff thing earlier in the podcast.

Yeah, you didn't think about that, Ben, did you, when you allowed us to talk about butt stuff? Okay, this one's for Johnny Didion Gray. Great name. Colorado. From Colorado. You can smoke weed there. Colorado.

Johnny, that's a great name. You were born on the 30th of November. No, Johnny's not the part of the name I was celebrating. It was Didion Gray. You know, but the whole name together is what I'm saying makes it a great name. Johnny Didion Gray. Johnny Didion Gray. JDG.

Yeah. Johnny, you were born on the 30th of November 1990, which means you were 16 in 2006. And Johnny, here's your birthday back. I see you whining and grinding up on the floor. I know you see me looking at you when you're already... birthday back. You're so polite. This song hasn't aged well. A lot of Akon's music hasn't. No. But you know the best thing Akon ever did?

Retire? Was discover Lady Gaga. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. His music hasn't aged well. Lady Gaga, his progeny has aged well. Akon has aged quite well, the person. He doesn't do music anymore.

He is now like a full philanthropist installing solar energy farms in West Africa to bring power to his community. Yeah, so it's quite amazing to me that the person he is now produced the music that he did. You know? Yeah, yeah. Like, smack that. Not a great tune. Banger, though, Johnny.

Good stuff. One more for Kareva. We love you, Kareva. Oh, Kareva. Finally. You're such a long-term listener of this show. Her name must have been sitting in the pile for ages. I love that name, Kareva, too.

We know exactly who you are. And thank you for always commenting and supporting. And she's been – how long has she listened for? A long time. Long time. Since the beginning. From Canada. And you were born on the 15th of April, 1975,

which means you were 16 in 1991. And Kareva, you've waited a while. And it's been worth the wait because here's your birthday banger. I've been thinking about you. Love this. Got you on my mind. Chica Papa. This is clearly the winner, right?

Absolutely. Actually, no, Ben can decide. Ben, it's your last show. Don't pick Akon. What is the winner of birthday? What's the winner of birthday? Or driver's license. What's the winner of birthday, Ben?

No, we're going to do London Beach. Yes, Benny! All right. Don't talk about it. Ben's leaving. Don't talk about it. It's in the show. You'll hear it on the podcast.

It's in the show. But you can post your messages on Facebook. Like, fuck you, Ben. Is there anything you want to say to the podcast listeners before we go? You'll hear it on the show today. Oh, yeah. Don't talk about it on the show. Don't talk about it on the show.

But I'm just saying a special message for the podcast listeners. Because you do put the podcast together. Oh, yeah. Don't talk about it on the show. Don't talk about it on the show. But you're saying a special message for the podcast listeners. Because you do put the podcast together for them every day. Remember, you've got a flight to catch. Yeah, true. I do have a flight to catch. Yeah, thanks for listening. And thanks for messaging me. A lot of people have been messaging me privately over the last few weeks.

But, yeah, enjoy it. I mean, the podcast is not stopping. So don't freak out. I thought it was because you're leaving. No. But yeah, enjoy it. I mean, the podcast's not stopping, so don't freak out. I thought it was because you're leaving. No. I ain't making it. No, Bree's making it. Oh, am I making it?

Yeah. Okay, all right. It's in the show. You'll hear it in the show. Here's the winner of Birthday Banger. Oh, this is a good one for Benny to go out on. He loves London, B. His favourite.

He's always loved them. He's got all their tapes. Enjoy the podcast. All the best to Ben, and we'll see you guys next week. Bye. ZM's Bree and Clint. Good, everybody. Happy Friday, and welcome to the Bree and Clint show.

It's a Friday. Everyone be happy. Oh, it's Ben's last day. It's Ben's last day, but we don't want to talk about it. We'll talk about it later, okay? We're going to do it later. Way to ruin a Friday, Ben. Well, you could check with him.

Ben, you still leaving? You're still leaving? You've had your expensive free company dinner now, so you could stay and you would have got free dinner for nothing if you don't want to go. No, I think I have to use the contracts. Oh, well, good one! Well, you had a contract here. Didn't really mean much to you, did it? Yeah, you just leave whenever

you want. Hey, we're fine with it though. We're happy for you. Oh, that's good. Yeah, you sound fine. Piss off. Yeah, we're fine. We will farewell Ben appropriately later in the show today. But first we want to give you $50 cash thanks to our mates at KFC. That's right.

If you want to play Tradie vs. Lady for a Friday, call now 0800-DIAL-ZM and see if you can pick up the 50 bucks. It's Friday Jams as well, so we'll play Tradie vs. Lady after a bit of cash up on ZM. Brie and Clint. I'm in the morning feeling like P. Diddy, brother.

Brie and Clint. Brie and Clint. Tradie vs. Lady. All right, here we go. Tradie versus Lady, the last one for the week. Who's going to pick up the 50 bucks, all thanks to KFC? It's me, our Lady First. She's from Christchurch, and she dropped her phone in the ocean on the weekend. That was a bit silly, wasn't it, Jess?

Yeah, my bad. Did you put it in the rice? I did, and it doesn't work. It didn't work. Oh, terrible. You win some, you lose some. It's the fish's phone now. Yeah, exactly.

Let's meet your opposition today. He's 24, he's from Dunners, and he loves playing rugby. Welcome to the show, Sam. G'day, Sam. Who's your team you're backing? Oh, it'd have to be the Crusaders, even though I'm from down south. Wait, wait, what? Wait, what?

Highlanders. Surely Highlanders. Oh, you want to support a team that wins, don't you? Oh, stop jumping ships in. Come on. Well, that's what Richie McCord did, didn't he? Anyway, okay, let's play this game Shall we Sam your buzzer is tradie

Jess your buzzer is lady First to three correct answers Gets $50 cash Thanks to KFC Good luck Guys buzz in If you think you know the answer Question number one

Horses are generally measured With what type of measurement Lady Yes Jess Hands That is correct Nice work Jess You're on the board.

One for the ladies. Question number two. Or feet if you're kinky. What? Oh, gotcha. Question number two. Cream puff is or was the oldest cat on record? Born in 1967 and died in 2005.

What age did creamuff live to? Was it 28, 38 or 48? Ladies. Yes, Jess? 28. Worth a guess. Sam? 38.

38. It is 38. A 38-year-old cat. Yeah, 28 makes more sense. It does. And even then it doesn't make sense. Yeah, but 28's not going to be a world record. Can you imagine what that cat looked like at 38?

No hair, one eye. Half a tail. Blind, deaf. Oh, my Lord. Kill me. Oh, God. All right, one point apiece. Question number three.

Which country produces the most coffee in the world? Is it A, USA, B, Mexico, or C, Brazil? Trades. Yes, Sam. Is it Brazil? It is Brazil. Nice work. Two to the tradies, one to the ladies.

Question number four. Which American rapper released the album The College Dropout in 2004? Ladies, tell me which. That is correct. Nice work, Jess. You've tied it up. Here we go. We've got a game. This is for the win, guys. Good luck. Ready, guys. For

the win. Question number five. Buzz in when you know the answer. Where does the president of the United States of America live? Yes, Sam. Washington, D.C. We need some more info.

I'm going to be a little bit more specific, but we'll give you a chance. The White House. That's what we were after. We technically would have had to accept America as an answer as well. But you got there, Sam. Congratulations. $50 coming your way and another win for the tradies.

Thank you very much. Typical. Always winning. The Crusaders. Then he wins tradie versus lady. He's just a winner all round. Okay. Are you a napper?

Do you enjoy a nap? Look, when I did breakfast radio, I fell into a bad habit of napping each day. Me too. When I did breakfast hours, you go, I need to catch up. So you lie down for a one-hour snooze, turns into a two-hour snooze. You feel like crap for the rest of the day. It's not good, eh? You wake up feeling worse.

Well, a recent study from the Paris Brain Institute tested volunteers by giving them a task with a hidden shortcut to complete the task. The group then rested. They had a nap for 20 minutes in a darkened room. After that, 83% of them found the shortcut, compared to only 31 who found the shortcut for the ones who had stayed awake. So they believe that a nap sharpens you mentally so long as you only nap for that 20 minutes.

Well, it was always the thing. I remember being told that 20-minute naps were the key. It is the key. And if it's longer than that, you feel like crap. You go into a full sleep cycle after 20 minutes. It's a crap nap. Yeah, it's a crap nap. You've got to keep yourself in that light sleep bit.

They also believe that as you get older, you nap more. Really? Yeah. 22% of adults admit to napping, which is nice. It sounds luxurious. Anyone with kids at the moment is going, nap would be nice. Yeah, right. But when you're in your 70s, 53% of people are napping.

I'll be napping in my 70s. I'll be taking naps in the sun naps in the car nap in the sun nap on the beach how good is that um i have here the three steps for a perfect nap do you want to hear what they are absolutely i'm keen to hear number one plan your nap so if you take it at lunchtime or early afternoon just plan it out know when you're gonna have the nap find yourself a quiet private environment okay plan the nap. Find yourself a quiet, private environment. Okay. Plan the nap. Seems straightforward. Don't do it in the middle of a busy food court.

Plan the nap. Got it. Know when you're going to do it. Number two, set an alarm so you don't sleep any longer than 30 minutes. 20 minutes is optimal. Don't go over 30, okay? Whatever you do. If you know you need 10 minutes to get to sleep, then that 30 is fine.

But you should only be napping for a maximum of 20 minutes. So they're adding on the 10 minutes to get to sleep, then that 30 is fine. But you should only be napping for a maximum of 20 minutes. So they're adding on the 10 minutes to get to sleep. Yeah. And then after your nap, this is step three. Wake up straight away. Stand up. Once your alarm goes off, stand up. Okay.

That could freak a few people out. Yeah. Do something invigorating. Like go and splash your face with cold water so you're fully awake. Really? Step three. Seems intense. I've got step four here.

It says, oh, that's a bit harsh. Listen to the Brian Clint podcast. Perfect nap. No, they'll put you, oh. Put you to sleep. They'll put you back to sleep, yeah. No. Well, that's a bit rough.

As long as we can help, right? Brian Clint. Guys, I thought, who's keen for a new game? Me. For a Friday? Me. Yes, good. Well, I've invented one, and it's called How Many Times?

As in, how many times have these certain celebrities tied the knot? Oh, okay, yeah. And it's going to be best of five. It's between producers and you, Clint. Okay. All right? We're going to kick it off with the first person, the celebrity. All you have to do is tell me how many times do you think

James Cameron, Avatar director, has been married? Absolutely no idea. Do we yell out? But my friend's been to his house, knows his son. There you go. I'm going to say twice. Twice for Anastasia. She's locking that in. I feel like if he was in the game, it's going to his house, knows his son. There you go. I'm going to say twice. Twice for Anastasia. She's locking that in.

I feel like if he was in the game, it's going to be quite a lot. I reckon six. I reckon once. I reckon he's a good, honest man. One marriage for James Cameron. I actually met one of his wives, weirdly. All right, so we've got two from Anastasia. I don't know why.

So you're saying one of his wives. So you're positive it's been more than once? Yes. Yeah, yeah. So two for Anastasia, six for Ben. I mean, really, I've gone high. One. And once for Clint.

The director, James Cameron, has been married five times. Oh. Whoa. It's a point to Ben. It is a point to Ben. He was the closest. Nice work, Benjamin. All right.

Person number two, tell me how many times has the beautiful, the stunning, of course she's from the notebook, Rachel McAdams been married? Twice. Oh, she's been married to Ben Affleck. Did she? Has she? Was she?

I don't know. Oh. Good. They've got kids together. I'm going to say Rachel McAdams has been married twice. No, Anastasia already picked that. Oh, damn it. Okay, I'll say three.

Three? I'll say sex. Rachel McAdams, very famous actress, has been married twice. Yes! To a guy named Michael Sheen in 2010. And then again in 20... Charlie Sheen's brother? I don't know.

Then again in 2016, Jamie Linden, who she's still married to. Oh, no Ben Affleck. Okay, my bad. No Ben Affleck. Alright, that's one point to stage, one point to Ben. Here we go. Person number three, tell me how many times has gone in 60 seconds Nicolas Cage been married?

Oh, heaps. Five. I don't even know. Five for Clint. I can't even think of who that is. I'll go four. What? Wait, hang on a minute. Are you? Wait.

Don't tell me you have to Google Nicholas Cage. No, I think he's in movies. Are you joking? Okay, five for Clint. Do you like action movies? Ben? Um, yeah, three. Three for Ben.

Five for Clint. Stage? I'd said four previously Okay, four for Anastasia I should have gone six again Nicholas Cage has had a total of four wives

Don't know him, but I know how many wives he's had That was a complete guess, including and listen to this list of his ex-wives, Patricia Arquette who of course was on Everyone Loves Raymond. Very famous. Elvis' daughter, Lisa Marie Presley. Really?

A former waiter, Alice Kim, and makeup artist Erica Colquitt. By the way, I confused Rachel McAdams with Jennifer Garner before. I was thinking you were, but I didn't want to say anything, just in case. Does anyone know the score, or should we make this one for the win? This is for the win.

Person number four. How many times has Kate Winslet from the Titanic been married? Oh. Once. Well, there was your husband who made it off the Titanic. Oh, shit. Well, that's not. The rich one who gave you the heart of the ocean.

It wasn't a real film. There was Jack Black in The Holiday. How many times has the stunning Kate Winslet tied the knot? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say zero. Zero. Okay, I'll go one. That's a good guess, Clint. Yeah, that's good.

Zero. Anyone else? I mean, I'll just go. Say sex. She's a very desirable woman. I'll go four. I'll go four. Four for Ben.

Producer Anastasia. Yeah, I'm going to go four. I'll go four. Four for Ben. Producer Anastasia. Yeah, I'm going to go one. You're going to go one? Technically, that means she's been married three times. Ben takes that point, so we need to go to the last one. No, that was for the win. Ben wins the game. I win the game.

Okay, do one more. Go on. Okay, one more. How many times has Brad Pitt been married? Brad Pitt has been married to Angelina Jolie three times. Three? Anastasia says once. Oh, once.

Ben, how many times do you say? Five. It's twice. Anastasia wins. Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston. Is that it? I thought there must have been a 90s one like Gwyneth Paltrow or something. Wait, was he married to Jennifer Aniston?

Yeah. Yeah, he cheated on me with Angelina Jolie. Duh, where you been? For five years he was married to her. Oh, we're on a break. How dare you forget that? Bree and Clint. Guys, I think I have finally arrived.

I've made it. As a what? As someone who's made it. Right. The big time. As a celebrity? Yeah. Really?

I think so. Are we in the prisons of fame? Do I need to get an autograph? Yeah, this is bigger than the time they recognised me at the McDonald's drive-thru. They didn't recognise me as Brie Thomasel. It was Double Fudge Girl. Oh, Double Fudge Girl. This is big.

Hangover Double Fudge Girl. That's the one. So a girl who used to work here, you'll remember her, Clint, Sarah Corsi. Oh, yeah. She has gone on to manage some bars and restaurants and that kind of jazz. She's killing it in the hospital games. She is. And she messaged me and she said, oh, my God, guess what?

And I was like, what? What's going on? She goes, we do these family quizzes at all the bars and restaurants that I look after. And I saw that in last night's quiz, you came up as a question. Get out of town. You're not a quiz question. You're a quiz question.

I've made it. Oh. Can you read out, Clint, the screenshot from this very official pub quiz? Name either of the current hosts of Celebrity Treasure Island New Zealand. This is good because we can actually play the quiz, can't we? Yes. And then there's a picture. play the quiz, can't we? Yes. And then there's a picture. Yeah.

And they give you the image. Yep. Two people that they put up on the screen. Okay. I'm going to go. A man and a woman. I'm going to go Matt Chisholm. I know him from the news.

He's a very, very accomplished journalist. He was on Survivor. I think he was on 2020. Who's that woman? Who is that? Well it does say On the question Name either

Yeah right Of the host No but I want both I want Kudos I've got it I've got it I've got it That's Brinley Stint

The taskmaster You bastard No no Okay no Back to the drawing board No You know who it looks like Is that Hayley Sproul? Looks like Jennifer Lawrence Don't you think? Bastard. No, no. Okay, no, back to the drawing board. No. You know who it looks like?

Is that Hayley Sproul? Looks like Jennifer Lawrence, don't you think? Hayley Sproul. She hosts everything else. Give me one. No, sorry, I don't get Jennifer Lawrence. No. No, I don't get that.

That's Suzanne Paul's daughter. You know, you joke and you laugh. And I said to her, I was like, how did everyone go answering this question? Yeah. She's like, a lot of people answered matchism. But not many Brie Thomas-els. That's right, mate. So, you know, I was a quiz question. Did people know the answer?

No. No. But I was still a quiz question. Did people know the answer? No. No. But I was still a quiz question. I'll wait for season three. Oh, okay. Come on. I'm hoping. The border is open.

We keep saying it. The border is open. You can travel. They want you to... Well, I don't think they want you to travel. I think they want you to stay here and spend your money in New Zealand. Yeah, that's a good option as well. But we're sick of that.

It's time to go travelling,. But we're sick of that. It's time to go travelling, baby. We're sick of that. So, with that in mind, how early do you have to get to the airport these days? There's two kinds of people in life. The leave plenty of time just in case at the airport people and the get there as late as possible without missing the flight at the airport people, right?

Which one are you? I think I'm a mixture. You know, I used to be get there super early. And then as I, I think once you travel more and more, I have gotten later and later. Plus a bit more lenient on you when you've got a current membership, eh? It's true. It is true.

Well, here we go. It's changed a bit because now when you go to the airport, you need to know if your airline or destination has any COVID-19 requirements. If they do, you can't check in online. You've got to check in manually at the counter. If you're traveling with an airline that requires passengers to be vaccinated, you'll also need to show your international travel vaccine certificate, which you found out last week is different to your regular vaccine passport.

Oh, God, you've got to download a new one. And you've got to print it out, and you've got to show it to someone. It's a nightmare, honestly. You also need to present any documents that your destination requires, such as pre-departure rat tests and health declaration forms.

Anyone would think that you're signing up for life insurance or health insurance. So once you factor all of that in, plus the fact that the airports are understaffed still and they're all new there, they don't know how to do that job because they've just had to take them back on again. The advice on how soon you should get to the airport before your flight? Stay home. Stay home.

Close. Don't even go. Close. Three hours. Right. Is that about right? You've done an international flight. Three hours?

I mean if I could do it again I think I just wouldn't go Really? It's that bad? The paperwork and all that Is the bad part Not the actual At the airport part Yeah

It's all the paperwork And you have to get This rat test And you have to pay Extra for this That's the bad part That's why The airport

If I'm honest Especially in Auckland, very smooth. Really? A lot of people, but pretty smooth. Okay, that's good to know. Go Kiwi. That's why I will only ever travel with my wife because she does the paperwork. She's the scribe in the family.

Can she do mine next time? You want to come on our family holiday? Yeah. Hey, where are you going? Probably the Goldie. Sign me up. Hidden to Movie World. I'm coming.

Brie and Clint. Time is waiting. You only get one second of a song. No hesitating. You only got one second of a song. Our weekly song battle where Brie and I go head to head-head guessing songs as quickly as we can with you guys. I've been having some shockers for this game. But you know, you win some, you lose some.

Let's meet our squad today. Dave's here. Hi, Dave. G'day, Dave. G'day, guys. Loving that new track that we're playing from you on the show at the moment. Dave. Yeah. Dave. Just Dave. Great tune, Dave.

Whose team do you want to be on, Just Dave? Bree or Clint? I'm going to go with Bree. Okay. Well, I'll do my best, Dave. It's a team effort, all right? So you're going to have to carry the team. Thank you.

It's me and you, Maddie. We're going to take this out, and you're going to go home with 50 KFC chicken dollars, okay? Sounds good to me. Sounds good. All right, Anastasia, set us up. This is the one second song challenge. We'll play the start of a song.

The first person to buzz in with the correct title and artist wins themselves and their team a point. First to three obviously wins. I'm going to play some songs of people that have played artists that have played at Coachella this year. Oh, okay. So that's a bit of a hint. And Branklin will give it a go. Oh, no. And then Mad a bit of a hint. And Bray and Clint will give it a go.

Oh, no. And then Maddie and Dave will go after them. Is that cool? I've been watching a lot of performances from Coachella. Sweet. I was a few beers down. I was going to say, not sober, though. No.

And with that, let's hear song number one. Clint. Doja Cat Woman. Yeah, that's good. He's done it. Remember Dave I told you about carrying? This is your moment to carry. Alright, Nettie and Dave.

Come on Dave. Your names and your buzzers. So when you reckon you know the artist and title, let me know, alright? It's your song number two. Nettie. Yes, Dave. Oh, Dave. Harry Styles.

Can he get the song? Five, four, three, two, one. Golden? Oh, good guess. Matty, you get a guess. What do you reckon? Watermelon sugar. Yes.

Oh, you've put us in a power position here, Maddie. Maddie was waiting to swoop. Dave, you did better than me, mate, so I'm proud of you. All right. It's back to Brinklin. Let's hear song number three. Brink! Whoa.

Disclosure. Oh. Can't you get the name of the song? Five, four. Latch. Oh! One of my favorite songs when Sam Smith does it acoustic, so love it. Good job, Brie.

You've actually earned yourself a point. I'm surprised I got that with the pressure. But Dave, remember I said this is your moment, mate. Come on. Maddie, you could win it with this point. Let's hear song number four. Maddie. Yes, Maddie.

Come on, Maddie. Close us out. Billie Eilish. Yeah. Oh, no. Five, four, three, two. Bye. What a round.

Maddie, you came through. Dave. That was a buzzer beater from Maddie. That was. It was. My heart's racing. Jeez, the rush. Hey, well done, Maddie.

You've picked yourself up 50 KFC chicken dollars. Congratulations. Nice work. Thanks, guys. Cheers. Bree and Clint. Today is a bit of a sad day here on the Bree and Clint show because it's producer Ben's last show.

Ben has produced our show from the very start. Yeah, he's one of the original founding members and I'm not ready to talk about it yet. And Ben's last show. Ben has produced our show from the very start. Yeah, he's one of the original founding members, and I'm not ready to talk about it yet. And he's had enough. I know it's the last day. I'm not ready to talk about it. He's moving to Australia. I am.

But you are leaving us. Yes. We will address that. Bree's not ready to talk about it. I'm not ready to talk about it. We'll address that as a family later. Yeah. But you said that you've got gifts for us.

I thought, I mean, it's been four years on the show, right? I thought it'd be nice to give you guys each individually a gift that I have had that you can now take ownership of, you can use. Oh, I get it. Stuff you don't want to pack. He's going to downsize the flat. He's going to offload some stuff. I'm hoping it's something good. I'll take it.

It's more I'm leaving you with something and you just have to look after it. So content gift. Yeah, sort of, yeah. Has this been stuff that you've accumulated like here at the studio over the years? Tramping gear. Just leave them to it, I reckon. Leave them to it. I'll start with Brie.

Oh, me? Yeah, we'll start with Brie. Okay. So for you, I have given something that you have to now look after oh no it's not another it's not a kid is it not an orchid we have recently found out that you know you have a lot of clothes a lot of fashion things that you need to get rid of i thought it's about time to give you every single outfit our show has owned over the past four years. Oh, no. Look up. Oh, my partner's going to hate you. Oh, my God.

So in this bag is our prison outfit when we stayed the night in the prison. Yeah. The Hot Mess Express outfit. Friday Oaky Jacket. So heavy. Friday Oaky Jacket. We've got our. Venute hats.

The Venute hats. The Irwin costumes we went to that one party in. Oh, God. The Hot Mess Express. Oh, no, the Hot Tub Time Machine hats. Yeah. Good, you've given that to the right person because I don't want it. No. Oh, this is the hat you and I bought together at the LA markets.

You never know when you're going to need these. Yeah. Okay, what a lovely gift. Oh, my partner's going to hate you. You're lucky you're moving. I mean, you can store them at work if you'd like. No. This is cool cool This is memories

Listen to me typical hoarder This is memories Oh my god I want it You will never wear any of that Yes I will I'm gonna keep it I will Okay who's next

Your next person that I'm gonna give it a gift to Is producer Anastasia What do you got for Anastasia For Anastasia Who is constantly on her phone and her computer 24-7, I thought I would give you a USB. Okay. And on that USB is my official phone book.

You now have the numbers of everyone our show has met in the last four years. Channing Tatum. Channing Tatum is not on there. Damn it. Oh, my God. It's Ben's black book. It's my black book. You've got all the artists, like King, Saatchi, Benny, Drax, Lord.

You've also got Dan Carter, Taika Waititi, and Nathan Foley from Five. Do you think Anastasia is the best person to be responsible with all these famous people's numbers? You know, everyone. What do you call it? Comedians we've met over the years. Every number is on there. Eight gigs, too. I mean, there's probably not that many.

It's just a text file. I would use that wisely. Wow. Thanks, Ben. Wow. Is Justice Crew on there? Justice Crew is on there. For some reason, Tones and I is on there.

I don't know if it's real or not, though. Really? Keen for that. Oh, she got a great one. Hey, you be faithful. I got clothes that smell like mothballs. Okay. And the final person is Clint The show's property and financial advisor

I have gifted you something And this needs to be kept very secure Is it property? Very safe It's not property It's not another property in Auckland He's already got one It does need to be kept in a very safe place

I leave you And for you to look after Every single dollar we have earned Off the Hot Mess Express single. Here's a box full of $200 cash. Have we made $200 cash? Well it's

50-50 with Kings but... Oh wait, do we have to give him a hundred? This is all our money. So we've made this song that we made, Send It. This has made $400. Hey, aren't we going to the pub after this to celebrate you? Maybe that's why I gave it now.

And we're going to send it. I mean, it's hit over 130,000 streams now, so we're making money. Pretty good. Any future income from this song, they're better as keeping. That is his. That is his to keep. Thank you, mate. These are very thoughtful gifts. He's

kind of like passing on the baton. I know. Because he's leaving. I'm not ready to talk about it yet. But thank you very much. Very nice. And now it's time for Bree and Clint's most popular segment. Friday

Okie! I love Friday Okie. It's time for Bree and Clint's most popular segment, Friday-okey! I love Friday-okey. It's the best. I listen every Friday. I never miss Friday-okey. Thanks, Bree and Clint. You've made my Friday again. Friday-okey!

Here we are, Clint. Another Friday, another Friday-okey. But today's is a little bit different, a little bit special. That's right. Today we lose senior producer Ben McDowell. He's been poached and he's leaving the show. So it's a tribute to you today, mate. Today's Friday-okey.

I love the song. Good. That's great. Great start. And I needed to pick a song from one of your all-time favourite musicians, Elton John, and I was going to pick Benny and the Jets, but... Because of my name. Because of your name, and I mean, he's jet-setting, but...

Oh, yes! You know, but producer Ben doesn't like that song. No, and you said a bit too hard for you. And it's also very hard. Oh, right. It's so hard. Not completely selfless then. The song you've chosen is a ripper.

Today, for Friday Okie, our singing contest, which you guys will judge, we're doing I'm Still Standing. I'm still standing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm still standing. What a banger. Yeah, yeah. Rules dictate as you chose the song.

Bree, you go first. So you're about to hear Bree's Elton John. I feel like I'm about to have a pretty average week. But, you know, it's all about Ben It's all about energy That's what it's about That's it, that's it So listen to them both and then you get to judge who did the best one Here comes Breeze, Elton John

So far good Just wait for it Sounded pretty true to the original so far, yeah You could never know what it's like your blood like winter freezes just like ice and there's a cold lonely night that shines from you you wind up like the wreck you hide behind the mask you use and did you think this fool could never win well look at me i'ma come back I got a taste of love in a simple way And if you need to know while I'm still standing

You just fade away Here she goes, here she goes Don't you know I'm still standing Better than I ever did Looking like a true survivor Feeling like a little kid I'm still standing after all this time Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah If you ever wanted to know what Elton John would sound like as a woman, very flat, I just showed you. A woman from Australia. Yeah. Real flat. Hey. Hey, that was great.

Thank you, Ben. Yeah. I appreciate that. You did very well. I'm in trouble, though. I think you've done, I think this might be your song. Well, I actually have a surprise for you this week. Oh, yes?

I will be sitting out this week's Friday Oaky. And seeing as it's his last day on the show Today you'll be taking on producer Ben No My first time ever singing Are you serious? Yes I'm excited for this

I haven't heard it Today you'll be judging between Bree and Ben Who has the best Elton John Oh my god Here's Ben What's he like? I can't wait for this Now I know how you guys feel.

Ben can actually sing. He was nervous, though. Okay. All right, I'm ready. I'm ready. Let's see how he wins. You can never know what it's like. Your blood's like winter freezes just like ice.

And there's a cold, lonely light that shines from you. You wind up like the wreck you hide behind the mask you use. Oh, that was good. And did you think this fool could ever win? You look at me, I'm coming back again. I got a taste of love in a simple way. And if you need to know while I'm still standing, you just fade away. Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did.

Looking like a true survivor. Feeling like a little killer. Come on, Ben. I'm still standing after all this time. Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind. Look at her. I'm still standing. Woo!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm still standing. Woo! Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm still standing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Ben! I've got to be completely honest. I did the yeah, yeah, yeahs. Did you? Yeah, so don't judge them on the yeah, yeah, yeahs.

Do not judge me on the yeah, yeah, yeahs. That was the worst part. Okay, we need five people. I don't reckon we even need a vote. That was awesome. No, it's got to be authentic. It's got to be real. We need five people. I don't reckon we even need a vote. That was awesome. No, it's got to be authentic. It's got to be real. We need five people on the phones right now.

Oh, mate. Oh, 800 dials at M. That was fantastic. It's Bree versus Ben for Ben's last day on the Bree and Clint show. I'm so glad we never take on the producers because we would get owned, Clint. Oh, don't worry. Anastasia can't sing. Yes, she can.

Bree and Clint. Time to get a Friday Oki winner. Just, if you missed it, a very unique Friday Oki this week. It wasn't Brie versus me. It was Brie versus Ben. And I found an even harder opponent, I feel like, in producer Ben. Quite the songstress. For his last show, an Elton John classic

I'm Still Standing Bree sounded like this don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did just a little bit it's just short and Ben sounded like this

picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind I'm still standing. Good, they took out the yeah, yeah, yeahs. Yeah, the yeah, yeah, yeahs weren't the best. We have five people standing by to vote.

Sophie's here. Hi, Sophie. G'day, Sophie. Hiya. How you guys going? First of all, what did you think of Friday Okie this week? I thought it was great. I think, Bree, you did really well, but Ben definitely hit some high notes.

Yeah, totally fair enough, Sophie. If I was calling up, I'd be voting for Ben and not myself as well. Just to be clear, you are voting for Ben? Yes, I'll give this one to Ben. Okay, thank you very much. You've got to give it to him. That was fantastic. Let's go to Amy.

Hi, Amy. Hi, Amy. Hello. What did you think? What's your feedback on Friday Okie? Obviously, Ben doesn't need any constructive criticism. He's leaving. It's too late now, yeah.

But you could stoke his ego. What did you think? Yeah, that's true. Bree, she did pretty well, but I'm just going to say Ben really put his back into it. So I'm going to vote Ben. You could feel the passion. Yeah. You know?

The authenticity, eh? Yeah, you could. You really could. All right. Two votes, Ben. Let's go to Jason. G'day, Jase. Hello, Jase.

Kia ora. How's it going? Good, thanks, Jase. Your thoughts on Friday Oki this week? You're an Elton John fan? Oh, who isn't? I mean, credit where credit's due. Both were pretty fantastic.

And you both were better than Elton John on his own farewell tour. I was there. That's very true. That's true. Yeah, look, there were some notes being hit, so that's a win in itself. But it's got to go to the farewell man himself, Ben. It has to. Oh, nice. Thank you, Jase. We're looking at a win in itself. But it's got to go to the farewell man himself, Ben. It has to. Oh, nice.

Thank you, Jason. We're looking at a clean sweep here. Grace. Hi, Grace. Hi, Grace. Hello. What do you think, Grace? Do I deserve a pantsing?

Is producer Ben going all the way? Yeah. Well, you know, it was close. It was close. But Ben definitely really put everything he had into it. Yeah, he definitely did. He really did. You know, this is actual fact, Grace.

I've just found out in the break. He actually held his testicles super tight for some of those notes. So that is commitment. That makes a lot of sense. Just like Elton does. It's commitment. He's got to have it then, you know? He's got to have it.

Okay, one more vote for Ben there. Can you go all the way? One more. Shannon, hi. Shannon. Kia ora. Come on, mate. What do you think?

Are you sending producer Ben out with a clean sweep? Oh, tough decision. But I'm a little bit around the bush about it. I do think, Bree, you showed a lot of character in there. And you showed heart. You showed mana. Oh. Bree.

What? You're voting for Bree? I'm voting for Bree, yeah. Shannon. Yeah. I'm leaving. choose Brie. What? You're voting for Brie? I'm voting for Brie, yeah. Shannon. I'm leaving. He actually is leaving. Are you sure, Shannon? Did you hear producer Benz?

It was great. It was sensational. But there was just something about your voice, Brie, that just screeched through my earlobes. Well, thanks, Shannon. Fear, fear, fear. It's irrelevant because he's already got four votes. He's the winner. He's the winner.

He's the champion. Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind. I'm still standing. I think I became 10% more attracted to producer Ben listening to that. That was actually fantastic. He's dropped to the airport, cheeky pash. Maybe, you never know. Brie and Clint.

It's my birthday, it's my know. Brie and Clint. Hey. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Brie and Clint's Birthday Banger. All right, here we go. Birthday Banger for a Friday. This is where we take your birthdays and we figure out what song was number one on your 16th. Exactly right.

Ella is here. Kia ora, Ella. Hi, Ella. Hi. Hi. How are you, mate? How's your Friday going? Oh, it's so good. It's so good. Lucky for the weekend. Hi, Ella. Hi. Hi. How are you, mate? How's your Friday going? Oh, it's so good.

It's so good. Lucky for the weekend. Of course, always. Ella, what's your birthday, mate? 26th of February, 1999. All right. You were 16 in 2015. And on the 26th of Feb in 2015, this had a number one hit. Love me like you do.

Love me like you do. Love me like you do. Smelly Golding. a number one hit. Smelly Golding. It was a bit of Ellie Golding for the movie Fifty Shades Darker. One of them. One of them? A Fifty Shades movie. Yeah.

Do you like it, Ella? What a banger. Yeah, what a banger. It was huge. What a banger. She was huge. She was massive. Yeah. And then just... Well a banger. She was huge. She was massive. Yeah.

And then just... Well, she became... She got married. She had a baby. Oh, yeah, yeah, true. She became friends with royal people. True, true. You know, so she had to reign it in.

I'd take it easy, too, after that. Yeah. Kick back for a bit. Not a bad one, Ella. Wait there. We're going to do a birthday banger for Amy. Kia ora, Amy. Hi, Amy.

Hello. Are you looking forward to the weekend, mate? I sure am. I mean, who isn't? Who isn't? You got any big plans? Just catching up with friends and going out for some drinks. Isn't it weird to say that?

I know. Life is coming back, eh? I know. Life's getting back to normal. I've spent so much money on Ubers recently. So good. It's actually kind of depressing. But at the same time, I'm like, yay, life.

Yeah, but you didn't spend that amount for two years. So now. But I didn't save it, did I? Didn't put it in a special going out account. Well, whose fault was that? All right, Amy, what's your birthday, babe? It's the 16th of August, 1989. All right, you were 16 in 2005.

And on the 16th of August in 2005, this reached number one. Don't you wish your girlfriend was wrong like me? Wow. Don't you wish your girlfriend was wrong like me. Wow. Don't you wish your girlfriend was... The PCDs. Nicole Scherzinger and the Pussycat Dolls. Amy, you a fan? Absolutely, that's a banger.

That's going to play at the girls' drinks this weekend? Absolutely. Top notch. You can do a little Pussycat Dolls dance before you guys sit down. Be careful. I put my hip out doing that once. This song, actually. Okay, wait there, Amy.

We're going to do one more birthday banger. And today's special birthday banger guest, is he aware of this? I don't know. Are you aware of this, Producer Ben? Ben, we're doing your birthday banger. No, I wasn't aware of it. But excited. I am excited.

Nothing gets past Producer Ben. It is Producer Ben's last show after being with the show for four years. And have you ever done your birthday banger? I haven't done it on the show. Oh, but you know what it is. Have you been taking advantage of the machine in the background for personal use? We're not allowed to use it for personal use. I mean, I know one of, could be one of three.

So it'll be a surprise for me. Okay. Okay. All right. Well, what's your birthday, Ben? Producer Ben, could be one of three. So it'll be a surprise for me. Okay. Okay. All right. What's your birthday, Ben? Producer Ben, who doesn't celebrate birthdays, but we've managed to find your birth certificate and you're born on the 27th of March, 1993,

which means you were 16 in 2009. And Producer Ben, this is the song that was number one. I've got some questions in my mind But definitely need some answers by now Banger! This is the song that was number one. Banger. Brother, Smash Proof. Real fan? Yeah, big fan.

That was number one for a long time. A long time. Yeah. Producer Anastasia pointed out the lyrics in it say, You turned your back and you went away because you were my brother and you should have stayed. I just think that's appropriate for what you're about to do to us by leaving the show. I feel like it's kind of fitting.

You know, and without saying too much, we'll let the song do the talking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I vote Ben. Yeah, I'm voting that. You're the winner of Birthday Banger, Ben. Congratulations. Thanks. Here's Smash Griffin Brother on ZDM.

Brie and Clint. Today, the Brie and Clint show farewells a founding member of our team, right, Brie? That is right. Four and a bit years ago now, we started this show, and producer Ben was there from the start. And now he's leaving. He's going to Australia to mine coal.

He's a fly-in, fly-out worker. He's getting paid really good. Go over there for three weeks, come back for a weekend. And I don't blame him. It's great money. I do it too. I'm just waiting for the right opportunity. I'm going. We joke because it is actually a really sad day for us it is it is a really emotional day and when you work together so closely on a show like this you spend so much time with each other and you do

become like a family you really do yeah so why are you leaving what have we done no you guys have done nothing there's just a very good career opportunity over there. And, you know, it's been eight years in New Zealand and radio. And I'm just keen for a big old new step, something fresh, something exciting. It is good. And also keen to be in Australia for a little bit. Yeah, you've got to go. You've got to explore.

I've rubbed off on him. That's why he goes, oh, she's pretty. She's all right. I guess I can, you know, brave the other Australians. I did not want to send you off without, you know, marking the occasion. And also a bit of advice for you as you go forward in your career. So what I've done is I have reached out to three important people in your life. And I've got each of them to provide us a message to send you on your way.

The first clip is from your favorite member of the Bree and Clint team. Who do you think that is? That is a rigged question, so we'll play the audio. This is from producer Ellie. It's your partner in crime Ellie here. Still some of the best times of my life working with you on the show and I'm so excited for your next chapter of life.

I'm proud of you for making such a brave move and leaving little old New Zealand. So just like old times on the show, I've written you a three-verse haiku. Oh, nice. You love beer, hikes, golf, and what a moustache you have. Your God, Craig David,

a great friend, workmate. Your few words often mean more. Thanks for being you. You're fleeing the nest, but don't forget your roots, bro. Because how good's Christchurch? Yeah, it is good. I love you, Benny.

I already miss being in the same room as you every day, so I'm really going to miss being in the same country. Good luck. Bon voyage. Love you, bro. That was definitely more than... That was more than a haiku, but I appreciated it. Yeah, was that a haiku? No, haiku finished.

She just... Oh! I was sitting there like, well, I mean, this is a double haiku. Love it. It was nice to hear from Patricia. I'll see her this afternoon anyway. Are you going to see Patricia Ali before you go? Oh, she's coming to the drinks.

She's coming to the drinks. Oh, yeah, boy. Yeah, the farewell drinks. The next message is from two fairly influential people in your life, Ben. Here is a message from Mr. and Mrs. McDowell, your parents. Oh, my parents. Hey there, Ben. It's Mum and Dad here.

We just wanted to say congratulations on your new job in Oz. Oh, yeah. We also wanted to say well done on surviving more than four years with the Bree and Clint team. There's never been a dull moment. From the constant optimism from the chief supporter. The Vinute saga. The LA trip and Bree's obsession to chase Channing Tatum.

The Shark Cage. Oh, yeah. And those are just a few. It'll be another great adventure into a different wilderness for you, Ben. Take care and have the best time ever. We're so proud of you. Oh, that's so nice. Your parents are the best.

I love your mum and dad. I love mum and dad. Thanks, mum and dad. That was nice of you to reach out. That was a lovely message. They put a lot of effort into that. And it shows that they truly listen to the show because I know that your parents actually, they support you so much and they listen to this show.

And it's so nice to hear from them. Can't have been that much, though. He didn't cry. Like, I thought maybe that would crack him. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it was very nice. This last one will do it. This last message will get you. Okay.

I have organized a message from your radio mentor, the person who has taught you the most in your time in radio, former colleague of yours, Tammy Davis from Outrageous Fortune. Ben, right from the first day that we met, I knew there was something special about you. The man with the heart that didn't quite work, but operated from that heart, worked with that heart, beat it like a heart. Me, that felt with a heart, that just was able to harness, harness that blood flow, harness that pulse, that pulse that lives inside you. The reason you are where you are today is because of one person

and one person only, and that's me, Tammy Davis. You're welcome, buddy. Don't forget, wherever you go, I'll be with you. Okay? Hei kone ra. Kia ora. My friend. Toku hoa. Mana.

That was strange. Also inspiring. I loved it. Very inspiring. Weird but inspiring. I should talk to Tammy. I haven't talked to her in a while. I told him you were leaving. He goes, Izzy!

We're going to miss you a lot. We appreciate everything that you've done for our team. And good luck with the future, Ben. No, thank you, guys. I'd just like to say, Ben, I get very emotional in moments like this. And it's because I think we do work so closely together. And I'm going to miss how talented you are in that booth. And you are so good at your job and you have the same passion

that me and Clint and Anastasia have and that's why we mesh so well as a team. You have such passion for what you do and your creativity is second to none and I'm able to throw you an idea and you bring those ideas that we give you to life and you are the best at what you do. And I'm not surprised that you've got an opportunity overseas because I knew they'd steal you eventually. But I'm sad to lose your talents in the booth,

but I'm mainly sad to lose a great mate. I know you're not dying, but you're moving countries, but you are one of my really good mates outside of this show and I'm really sad to lose you to Australia. But, yeah, I just wanted to say thank you for all of the effort and the time that you have put into this show. I know that blood, sweat and tears have gone into it. Sometimes we fight.

Sometimes we argue. But most of all, we have fun on this show and we love each other at the end of the day. And I just wanted to say thank you for how much passion and drive you have given to this show and the friendship you have given to me over the four years. And I truly love you and I'm so proud of you. Thank you, mate. I'm devastated to lose you, but I can't wait to see what you do next.

We can still be Facebook friends. Are you sure? I actually already deleted you, so I'm going to have to add you again. No, I love you, mate. I love you guys too. Thank you so much for the last four years. It's been incredible. Bree and Clint.

Akihiko Kondo is a Japanese man who was in the news this week. He's married to a fictional computer synthesized pop star. He's married to a hologram. I saw this story doing the rounds this week. He identifies as fictosexual. See, I'd never heard of that. Me neither. Fictosexual is a term for anyone who experiences sexual attraction towards fictional characters.

Kind of like you in Sailor Moon. God, she was hot. Or Goku. Were you more Sailor Moon or Goku? I was a bit of both. I could have done either or. Or Vegeta. Oh no, not Vegeta. I was more Trunks. Did you want a bit of Vegeta in your fajita? Vegeta in my fajita.

I've been doing a bit of digging into this because that's fascinating to me. Like attractions that sit outside the mainstream. I hope that's not offensive to say. It's not mainstream. It's not mainstream. I hope that's not offensive to say. It's not mainstream. It's not mainstream.

I mean, I'd never heard of it before. Fictosexual. He's married to a hologram. Because do you remember that movie that Joaquin Phoenix was in? Yes, Her. Her. Yeah. And he falls in love with an AI. Yes.

Yeah. Effectively, Siri. Does that count? Siri. I guess it would, but I don't have that on my list. What I have is a list of different attractions and I wondered if you could tell me

what each of these attractions are. Okay. So I'll give you the name for it. You tell me somebody who has that or is that, what are they attracted to? Got it. First one, mechanophilia. Someone who has mechanophilia. What are they attracted to? Is it like engines?

Close, yeah. Can you be a bit more specific? Mecanophilia. It must be something with an engine. Actually, you know what? I'll give you engine. They're attracted to motor vehicles, helicopters, ships, aeroplanes, and bicycles.

Right. So not lawnmowers? I guess. I guess a lawnmower. So not lawnmowers? I guess. I guess a lawnmower. That fit in the category? No, because it's not a vehicle. But it is a machine. You could ride on it.

Dangerous romance. The lawnmower, isn't it? You'd want to ride on lawnmower. Someone's getting... You know? Do the ride on, but again. Okay, someone who has dendrophilia. If you've got dendrophilia, what are you attracted to?

Sexually attracted to what? Dendro. It's not dendruff. No, dendro. Dendro. I don't know what that would be. What are you attracted to? Someone who has...

No, not... I just took a stab. Although I'm sure there is that. Dendrophilia is the word used to describe people who are sexually attracted to or sexually aroused by trees. Trees? Tree huggers. There you go.

Tree mother huggers. That's why they hug the trees. You'd want to find a You know A good solid tree Would you? For a partner I mean What about the age gap though? Some of those trees are old

Finally one more Cytophilia If you have cytophilia Cyto You're aroused by what? Cytophilia I'll give you a hint I have a feeling

You may have cytophilia I'll give you a hint I have a feeling you may have cytophilia Garlic bread Yeah, correct Cytophilia describes someone sexually aroused by food Man, look I do get that warm fuzzy feeling Who doesn't get a bit turned on by a long, hot, thick garlic bread So good

There you go, if that's you We see you, we recognise you, and we're intrigued. Brian Clint. Brian Clint. Have you ever wondered, Clint, to yourself, I wonder how I stack up against other men? Down there? Yeah.

Every man does. Every man does. Every man does. Every boy does. Every man does. Every man does. Every boy does. It can be quite the, what's the word? What's the word? I don't know. What word do you think?

You know where you get, oh, no, we're going to have to start. What's the emotion? The emotion, oh, this is going to take a while. Okay. Not paranoid. No. Self-conscious. Right. Okay. You can get quite self-conscious a while. Okay. Not paranoid. No. Self-conscious. Right.

Okay. You can get quite self-conscious about it. Definitely. And I think that's what they were trying to tackle with this study. And maybe it was a good thing. Maybe it was a bad thing. Good pun. Tackle.

But they've done a survey of global penis size. Nice. This is what we need. And I'm about to give you the results of where New Zealand men place. Fantastic. Against the rest of the world. So, essentially it's a graph and they've done, I'm not too sure how they got this data,

but they've managed to get some sort of data and they've placed all the countries around the world, I think it's like 86 different countries, longest to shortest. Let's drill into how they got the data. How do you think they got it? Guys showing up for auditions? Yeah, because I mean... Because that would skew the data. If they said we're doing a global study on wanger size,

only you'd put the best of the best forward, right? That's what I was thinking. We'd have a national campaign to find our five biggest guys and we'd send them forward so we won at the Dick Olympics. Yeah, the details wouldn't be right. But, hey, let's just go with it because that's what we've got. Yeah. Do you want – what do you want first?

Because I've got every country. Yeah. Were you interested to find out New Zealand? I just want to know where we ranked. I want it to be like the medal count at the end of the Olympics. I want to know where did we come. Kiwi men with an average length, and we're talking excited. Oh, full flight.

Full flight, yeah. Full flight. Yeah. Came in at 50 on the list. Oh, shit, I thought you were going to say centimetres. No, with a length of 13.99 centimetres. That seems respectable. So 50 out of the 86.

So literally dead in the middle pretty much. Average. Average. Average. C's get degrees. Average. Average. Who would you like to know next?

What country are you thinking? Australia. Australia. So we're 50th. Yeah, we're our enemies. Where is What country are you thinking? Australia. Australia, the arch nemesis. Yeah, where are our enemies? Where is the Australians on the list? Yeah. So New Zealand came in at 50 for the longest average size.

Yeah. The Aussies came in at 43. Right. With the average size of 14.46. They got a whole centimetre on us. Yeah, well, no, 46. Not a whole centimetre, half. Right.

Half a centimetre. Don't sugarcoat it, but yeah, all right. All right, let's go top five, shall we? Yeah. That's what we really want to know. Yeah, borders are open. It's time to travel. Where are we going?

The ladies want to know where we're going. Number five, Haiti. Yeah, good for Haiti. Average, 16.01 centimetres Yeah Number four, Sudan Good for Sudan 16.51, a little bump up

Number two, Cameroon 16.67, right? So just remember that Number two, the average size was 16.67, right? Yeah Number one, the country The was 16.67, right? Yeah. Number one, the country, the average size of a full flight, 17.61. Yeah. So, massive jump up.

Yeah, 13 more centimetres than New Zealand. Huge. Sorry, three centimetres more. Okay, settle down. The number one spot for the average longest size is Ecuador. Oh, well done, Ecuador. I mean, they'd be stoked.

Wouldn't you? Wouldn't you be stoked? Wouldn't you? They'd go, the rumours are true. Unless you're on the other side and you're like, right, so everyone here in Ecuador, except for me. 17. This is BS. I'm bringing the average down. Well, there you go. Fragment that into your travel plans, New for me. At 17. This is BS. I'm bringing the average down. Well, there you go. Factor that into

your travel plans, New Zealand, as the world opens up again.