ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast - 29th May 2024

Episode Date: May 29, 2024

Stop making unhealthy food healthy!  What are we calling ourselves in the Big Race?  Tips for sprinting.  Fights at the wedding.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio

Apple, Spotify Or wherever you get your podcasts The ZM Podcast Network ZM's Brian Clint Thanks to KFC Try the new Korean BBQ Double Down today Tonight we are going to witness The most anticipated show

In the history of professional radio. Their names, Brie and Clint. There it is. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. It's Brie and Clint. Guys, welcome back, first of all. Good to have you back.

Great to have you back. Good to be here. Let's compare who had the best lunch. Oh, yeah, sure. Okay. What did you have for lunch? I made toasties, ham and cheese toasties. I made them and then I bought them to work to toast them, so I got to have them hot.

That's good. So they weren't, you know, they weren't. Nothing worse than a cold toastie. And they weren't reheated. I did the buttering and everything, and then when I got here, put them in the toastie machine. Reheated toasties, grim. Claudia, what did you have?

I had some little, like, homemade quiches that I reheated in the air fryer. Oh, okay. I think you made a quahishay. A quahishay. A quahishay. Ella, what was your weird vegan lunch? I already know what you're going to say. I had tofu scrambled.

Yeah, but it was really good. I put bok choy in there. Oh, that makes it better. Oh, really? I actually had some in my bag. I'll heat some up for you. No, I'm good. I will.

I will do that. Oh, yum. You've got some old tofu scrambled hanging out in your bag. No, it was my lunch today. Just the room temperature in your bag. Delicious. I ate lunch at home today and I reheated enchiladas I had from last night. What's that? reheated enchiladas I had from last night. With sour cream, homemade guac,

some jalapenos on there and some hot sauce. I see why you've pitched the question. Yeah, I see why you did this one. Normally it's tuna and rice. I vote homemade enchiladas. Yeah, me too. Closely followed by my tofu.

Anything but tofu scramble. But tofu scramble. If you had a dog shit sandwich for lunch, I'd prefer that over the... That's vegan, isn't it, Ella? Hey, hey, hey, everyone calm down. We're going to have a fun show today. We're going to play Human Shazam at four o'clock. I'm confident no one's lost Human Shazam on our show yet, have they?

It has jackpotted, I heard, from George's show. No, it didn't. Oh, no. It didn't. That was my bad. That was yesterday. Management are really pissed off at how good people are at this game. People are too good.

They were expecting this thing to jackpot into the thousands, but you guys just keep getting it. You're too good at guessing. Good by us. Four o'clock, human Shazam. Next, though, tradie versus lady. 50 bucks up for grabs for tradie versus lady.

The tradies, I thought they won yesterday. Either way, they're behind. The tradies did win, so I believe it's 41-46, but if you want to play, 0800-DIAL-ZM right now.

Bree and Clint. If you're looking to play, I just licked the microphone. Oh, no. I was trying to pad for time to get the right page up on the screen and I went... I just licked the communal microphone. What did it taste like?

It just tastes like cold metal, but you know it's more than that. It's weird, mate. It is way more than that. I'm going to need to lick a dead hole white. It's Treaty versus Ladies. Mate, it is way more than that. I'm going to need to lick a death hole, Wyatt. It's tradie versus lady. Three, two, one, let's go. I'll clip recovers.

I'll give you the scores. As I said before, I'm pretty sure the tradies took it out yesterday, putting them on 41. The ladies sit on 46. Let's meet our tradie first. They're in Hamilton. They're 22 years old and they have no fun fact about them. Welcome to the show, Tafere.

Hello, mate. Hello, are you there? Hello. What's the weather like in Hamilton at the moment? Bloody raining around here. Bloody raining. Windy here. Bloody raining and windy here too.

Rain, rain everywhere. You're taking on our ladies today from Auckland, the 30, and her daughter is her best friend. Welcome to the show, Tracy. Hi, Tracy. Hello, how are you? Would your daughter say the same about you? I hope so.

Oh, cute. What's your daughter's name? I hope so. She better. Yeah, right. Harper. Harper. Shout out to Harper. Cute. Okay, Tafere, your buzz's name? It's eight, so she better. Yeah, right. Harper. Harper. Shout out to Harper.

Cute. Okay, Tafferty, your buzzer is Tracey, you're the lady. First of three correct answers gets 50 bucks cash from KFC. Good luck, guys. Question number one. Who was the lead singer of the band Queen? Tracey. Tafferty.

Freddie Mercury. Freddie Mercury is correct. I was getting worried there for a second, guys. That is one to the tradies. Question number two. Name a yeast spread you might have on your toast in the mornings. Lady. Yes, Tracey.

What did you say? A yeast spread. You want to have a guess, Tafferty? You're going to kick yourself if you don't get this. Yeast spread. Yeah. No, no yeast and jam. Marmite.

It is Marmite, but too late. We're looking for Marmite, Vegemite But too late We're looking for Marmite, Vegemite, Promite Any of the mites Any of the mites No points there Question They're yeasty and delicious

Question number three Who sings this song? Benny and the Jets Benny Anyone who knows Who sings Benny and the Jets? Yes, Tracy. Yes, Tracy.

Elton John. It is Elton John. You came through at the clutch. We are one apiece. Question number four. What of the following is not a famous Las Vegas casino? The MGM Grand, the Bellagio or the Sky City Casino? Lady.

Yes, Tracy. Sky City Casino. It the Sky City Casino? Lady. Yes, Tracy. Sky City Casino. It is Sky City Casino. You'll find that right here in Auckland. And Hamilton. And Hamilton as well. And Queenstown. Is that a Sky City, is it?

Might be. Yeah, right. Not Las Vegas. I don't know. I always never get let in on that one. They always say, time to go home. Not in those shoes. All right, two to the ladies, time to go home. Not in those shoes. All right, two to the ladies, one to the tradies.

Question number five. What type of animal is Bambi's best friend Thumper? Tradie. Yes, Taffety. Bear? No. Tracy? Tracy? Tracy?

It's in the name. Thumper. It's in the name. Lady? Yes, Tracy. A deer? No. No, we were looking for a rabbit.

No points there. Still two to the ladies, one to the tradies. Question number six. According to old English rhyme, what four somethings should a bride wear for good luck? I'll give you the first one. Yes. Tracy.

Something blue. That's one of them. Can you give us three more? Something borrowed, something blue, something old, something new. She's got it. She's a lady. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, she's a lady.

She was a rickety old game today, guys, but we got there in the end. Nice work, Tracy. $50 coming straight to you. Thank you. Tough for you. You sound like you're in pain, brother. He needs to lick the wounds on that one. I'm like yours.

My girlfriend last night sent me a very disturbing video of a woman that she follows on Instagram. Yeah. And I think this woman should be taken away to prison. Wow, okay. Yeah, because of this video that she sent me. Really? It was quite disturbing. I think this woman should be taken away to prison. Wow. Okay. Yeah. Because of this video that she sent me.

Really? It was quite disturbing. Did you report it? Yeah, no, I definitely reported it. Good. Good first step. To the food police. Oh, okay. Hey, that's a very real police.

Okay. Yeah, sure. Because the video is so disturbing. And I'm going to play you the audio of the video so you can hear it for your own ears. It's quite alarming. It's from a woman named Sarita Holland. She, I believe,

is like a food influencer slash healthy eating exercise. That's what she's about. Okay. And this is her take on a healthy tiramisu. I'll show you how. Greek yogurt, vanilla protein powder, honey or maple syrup, cinnamon, coffee, rice cakes.

Dip them in. Then top with a pitch. Coco, there you have it. That is going to hit the spot. No! It will not hit the spot. Rice cakes and a tiramisu. What are you doing?

What? My Italian heritage. I am disgusted. My only experience making tiramisu is with you, and that was not the recipe that we used. That was not your nunna's time-honoured recipe. Absolutely not. I also, as a secret shame,

have just eaten an entire tiramisu cake with my wife. We demolished an entire cake. No rice cakes in the cake. Absolutely not. She calls it... Because I don't turn to tiramisu for its health benefits. No. Does anyone?

I'm not thinking, better go healthy for dessert, might get a tiramisu. She calls it a high-protein, low-calorie, gluten-free tiramisu. Yeah, all of those words should not come before the word tiramisu. Just why are you doing that to a tiramisu? Eat your high-protein foods. Go for it.

And do your exercise. I'm all for it. So that you can then enjoy a tiramisu as God intended. Stop messing with the way God intended foods to be. And I get it. Look, I get it. If you're on a weight loss journey and you need a treat, then maybe there is a place for that.

What it does, though, is it makes the rest of us question every tiramisu that we eat because now there's a chance that it will be a healthy tiramisu made with rice cakes. Do you reckon that would be nice? Is there any part of you that goes... Oh, look, the ingredients up until the rice cake sounded okay. Like the Greek yogurt, the coffee, the honey. It didn't sound like a tiramisu.

Even if you get a nice protein powder in there, sure, it's fine. But, yeah. You're really trying to find the good parts. I know, I know. And that's what people do in these situations. I have the same feelings about low carb beer. Like I kind of just feel like if you're gonna have

a beer, just have a beer. And I'm dubious about how good it can actually be for you. Don't take it away from me. I drink low carb beer because it makes me feel better about drinking beer. The only one that I've found that actually tastes good is that Heineken Silver. That's all I drink low-carb beer because it makes me feel better about drinking beer. The only one that I've found that actually tastes good is that Heineken Silver.

That's all I drink. And that has only come on the scene recently. Up until then, I'm like, you can shove them up your bum, honestly. I got on the Heineken Silvers early. Just have one less normal beer is my opinion on low-carb beers. No. No, because low-carb beers you can have like- Instead of six low-carb beers, just have four normal beers.

No, it's not the same. It's not the same. Don't ruin this for me. Let's ask people, what is the food that shouldn't be made healthy? It just needs to stay unhealthy. It doesn't even that it's unhealthy. It just needs to stay normal. Stop trying to suck the joy out of these foods

by making the healthy alternative. You know what I can't get on board with? And don't try and convince me. This bloody 90, 92% dark chocolate, cacao chocolate. There's no, I don't care what it is. If I'm eating chocolate, I want it to be actual chocolate. Less calories equals less joy. Just stop messing with chocolate.

Oh, $800. Or you can text it to 9696. What is the thing that people should stop trying to make healthy versions of? What have you seen? Maybe your partner's guilty of it. Bree and Clint. We are asking, what is the food that nobody should be making healthy? Maybe your partner's guilty of it. Bree and Clint. We are asking, what is the food that nobody should be making healthy?

Just leave it alone. There's just some stuff that you shouldn't mess with. And we're... Which I think is fair enough. I think it's fair. I think some foods deserve to be protected. Some foods should be sacrosanct. You know, even though you know that they are damaging to your health, maybe they shorten your lifespan.

They are what they are. I'm not taking protein powders. I'm not taking protein powders and making bloody cakes out of it. You know? You keep your protein powders. What about protein cookies? Are you into a protein cookie? No, I don't want a protein cookie.

I just want a cookie. There's a woman that I saw on Instagram who's used rice cakes in a tiramisu. Yeah. As a healthy version. It was yogurt and rice cakes. And honey. And she dips the rice cakes in coffee and called it a tiramisu. Have your healthy snack.

I've just taken offence to you calling it a tiramisu. It's not a tiramisu. It's rice cakes dipped in coffee. They'd usually be Biscoff biscuits, wouldn't they? It's Savoyardi biscuits and nothing else. Okay, right. That's what it is. So we want to know what's the food that shouldn't be made healthy.

And Natalie's caught up. Hi, Natalie. Hi, Natalie. Hi, how are you? We're good. What triggered you? What did you experience that was trying to make healthy? I didn't try it, but I know I had a friend that made brownies out of red kidney beans.

Why is she doing that, Natalie? I don't know. Why? Chocolate brownies. Yeah. Chocolate brownies out of kidney beans. Yeah, cooked red kidney beans. No. And chocolate? I of kidney beans. Yeah, cooked red kidney beans. No.

And chocolate? I don't know. Right. I'd probably use that for like a sweetener. I don't know, actually. I wish you had have tried them, Natalie, so we could ask what they were like. Yeah.

I know, but no. Natalie wouldn't put that in her body. She wouldn't sacrifice herself. Too much self-respect. We're asking what food shouldn't be made healthy. Someone just texted, potatoes. Agreed. Leave the potato alone.

Who is the psychopath that invented low-tatoes? Oh, I don't mind a low-tatoe. Really? Yeah, because I feel good about eating them and they taste the same. No, to me, the overarching feeling is I should feel bad about regular potatoes. That's what I get from it. Yeah, which we shouldn't. Which you shouldn't.

It's a vegetable. Yeah. Dimitri's here. Hi, Dimitri. Hi, Dimitri. Hello, how are you? Good, thank you. Dimitri, what is it?

What did you see that they were trying to make healthy? So, you know when you're having a lovely afternoon TikTok session? Yes. And you come along and someone tries and messes with lasagna. Oh, no. Get in the bin. Like, when they try to put, like, cucumber sliced instead of the pasta. Like, no.

Just no. Oh, you mean like the ribbons of zucchini instead of the pasta? Yeah, just like. Dimitri. Leave it alone. It's minced pasta and cheese sauce and that's it. Dimitri, one of those people is actually our producer, Ella. She's tried to do that to lasagna.

What do you have to say for yourself? I miss lasagna, not going to lie, so I veganised it. Is it good? She veganised it, Dimitri. Is it good? There's no way it's good. It's fine. No way.

It was good. Is it good? Hang on, hang on. Let me read that back to you. Is it good? It's fine. It was good, but it's not the OG. Dimitri, he's on the money.

The problem is, in saying that, though, I'm a bit of a hypocrite because I do add bacon and pineapple to mac and cheese. That's fine. That's all right. That's not making it healthy. That's fine. That's upgrading it. Yeah.

Yeah, that's right. It's just a flourish. You're in the clear. Thanks, Dimitri. We appreciate it. Someone's texted in and they said, cucumber sushi with cauliflower rice. Oh, my God. Yuck It's just a flourish. You're in the clear. Thanks, Dimitri. We appreciate it. Someone's texted in and they said, cucumber sushi with cauliflower rice. Oh, my God.

Yuck. Just eat a salad. Sushi doesn't need fixing. Sushi's already healthy, isn't it? Someone else said chocolate mousse made with avocado. I've heard of this. Why are people doing that? No.

Someone else said cauliflower pizza bases. I've actually had them. Not bad. Careful. You're getting a bit wishy-washy on your pizza bases. I've actually had them. Not bad. Careful. You're getting a bit wishy-washy on your stance here. I know. Katie's here. Hi, Katie.

Hi, Katie. Hello. Hello. Oh, you're the one that said chocolate mousse made out of avocado. Yeah. Like the consistency, I get it, but I just want full cream. Have you, Katie, have you had it? Have you had the mousse?

No, because I think avocado doesn't have flavour anyway. It doesn't, you're right. But that's why you can get away with it. That's why you can get away with it. But I just, it's a dessert or, you know. That's what it comes back to, isn't it? It's a treat at the end of the day. I don't want my mousse being green.

I'll just eat an avocado with a carrot on it if I want. Exactly, Katie. I don't want my mousse being green. I'll just eat an avocado with a carrot on it if I want. Exactly, Katie. I don't want my mousse green and I don't want my avocado brown. And I don't want my chocolate healthy. And I don't want my chocolate healthy. That's what it comes back to. See, Katie and I would be friends. She's on the money. She is on the money.

Someone's texted and they said 0% wine. Just no. Yes. I agree. Why are you drinking it? Last one. Cheesecake. All these stupid bloody Weet-Bix overnight taste like cheesecake. Weet-Bix overnight.

People that do the Weet-Bix overnight. And they reckon it tastes like cheesecake. And they're like, oh, it tastes like cheesecake. No, it doesn't. No, it tastes like cheesecake. Cheesecake. Cheesecake. Bree and Clint.

Shows brought to you by the new Korean barbecue double down at KFC right now. From iHeartRadio, this is the latest live from LA with Dean McCarthy. Dean, I thought she was but a child, but news out today that Millie Bobby Brown is married. Blows my mind. She'll always be 12. Yeah. I don't care what age she is when you Google her. No, she's actually been married. Blows my mind. She'll always be 12. I don't care what age she is when you Google her.

No, she's actually been married. She's actually married Jon Bon Jovi's son Jake in a gorgeous, very quiet wedding actually. Here's what happens. So basically this is kind of like their private friends and family wedding because she's actually filming the last season of Stranger Things.

So once the season has finished shooting, they're going to have the big dramatic Hollywood wedding. Because, you know, Jon Bon Jovi, he's worth like $200 million, right? Yeah. You bring out the good stuff. You bring out the good stuff. Pretty cool, though. They've been together for quite a few years, actually.

And interestingly, Jon Bon Jovi's other son just got married, I think like two weeks ago as well. So maybe they thought, like, let's just get like a two-for-one deal on the buffet or, I don't know, maybe the venue gave them a bit of a family discount. I don't know. Whatever it was. Two for one wedding. Why not? Hey, so she's 20. He's 22.

That's Can someone explain? Maybe I'm being judgmental, but why not just date for a bit longer? You know? Like, do you have to rush getting married or are they both super religious and they wanted to speed along the process

for another reason? Well, they've actually been dating since 2021. Right, okay. That's not all that long, Dean. Three years. Since she was 18. Millie Bobby Brown will be so ready to be finished with Stranger Things and get this last season out of the way.

Not that it hasn't been great to her, but she's the star of that show and she's ready to go and do all the movies and all the things. The big roles. Right, Dean? She'll be ready to launch off into the next stage of her career, right? Totally. It's time for her to take on some new projects and really, you know, catapult her career.

But she's certainly done well, yeah. Yeah. Love her. John Bon Jovi's just had throat surgery, by the way. Has he? And he's worried he'll never be able to sing again. Oh, that's sad. Yeah.

What did they say? What for? Like, what was the throat surgery for? I think it was for on his vocal cords. He had, like, nodules on his vocal cords. Maybe. Oh. Yeah, because you'd want Dad to get up there at the wedding

and bust out a living on a prayer, wouldn't you? If your dad was Bon Jovi, I 100% would want that. You'd want Bon Jovi as your covers band at the wedding. Shut to the heart! That's the latest live out of Los Angeles with Dean McCarthy. He's our Hollywood correspondent. Brian Clint. There's a real sad story out of America today.

A girl named Maya Valise had been commended for her academic achievements. And look, she was a part of the cheerleading squad. She was getting top marks in all of her classes. And she actually got told by school administrators that if she kept going and if she didn't pretty much fail any classes before she graduated, she would be receiving the honour of being valedictorian or the ducks of the school. Valedictorian is the highest achieving academic student of the year, right?

Yeah, the ducks. The ducks. The valedictorian, the ducks. And they pretty much said, hey, look, if you don't fail any classes from here on out, you will get valedictorian. God, your parents would be so proud, wouldn't they? After all her hard work, she didn't fail any classes. Officials later told her that miscalculation had occurred,

which meant that some of the classes she had taken at another school before transferring would not count toward her final marks, which means she was knocked off the top spot. Yeah, ripped off. So obviously the person who was calculating who would be valedictorian obviously was not valedictorian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's devastating for that girl.

Yeah. Because it meant that I think... It's given her false hope. Well, it also means like in America, if you get valedictorian or ducks of your school, it means you're entitled to certain things like going to a college. So you might get a scholarship and that kind of thing. And it says here that she got accepted to go to the University of Texas

on the understanding that her freshman year fees would be waived because she was going to be valedictorian. And then they took it away. And now she can't. Gutted. Pretty horrible news, hey? Yeah. Yeah.

She'd written her speech and everything. I know. And you're dealing with young people. She's 17, you know? Yeah. What do you do, though? Like... I mean...

Because the other girl who did get it, you know, you've got to take it off one of them. Who said it was a girl? Well, don't you have a male and female? Oh, do you? I don't know. I feel like my school we had. I feel like you just have one.

Oh, I think we had boys ducks and girls ducks. Oh, well, that's poos. It should just be one. Well, more people can get it if you have both. Yeah, I know. But isn't the ducks of the school the best? True. There should be a boys ducks and then a girls ducks and then a supreme ducks.

The ducks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. The ducks of all ducks. The ducks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. The ducks of all ducks. The ducks nuts. Yeah. Literally at the top. And at the school I went to, because we just had-

Was it you? Me? Are you joking? I don't know. You know me. I definitely was not the ducks of the school. I was close to being one of the sporting ducks. What sports ducks is that, eh?

I was real close. Is there a word for that? I think it's just sporting ducks. I sports ducks is that, eh? I was real close. Is there a word for that? I think it's just sporting ducks. I think I came third. Dumb but strong. That was me. Not the brains, but some of the broad. Yeah.

Yeah. I got third. I was so close. The person who won went on to go. They don't put third on the board, do they? No. In fairness. We had a board in our hall in gold littering. Only got up that every few years. They don't put it on the board. They don't put third place the board, do they? No. In fairness. We had a board in our hall in gold littering.

Only got updated every few years. They don't put it on the board. They don't put third place up there, do they? In fairness to me, the girl who did get sporting ducks went on to play, compete in like four Olympics. Oh, they made the right choice. The evidence is clear. I mean, yeah.

Yeah. But still, they didn't know that at the time. Well, some would argue they did. Some would argue they did. And then the other guy, so it was her. She went on to play, competed for Olympic Games. And then the guy went on to play for Collingwood. Yeah. In the AFL.

Yeah. For like. It's a good pedigree. I think he still plays. Yeah, hell yeah. Me. They should have kids together. I hope they're high school sweethearts.

Yeah, they would make really good athletes. We want to know this afternoon, did you get ducks at your school? And I reckon sports ducks is a good one too if you got that. It counts. Because we want to know, were you the cream of the crop at your school?

Were you the tippity top? Yeah. And then what did you go on to do? Yeah, we want to know where you're at now. Yeah. Was it a precursor to great then what did you go on to do? Yeah, we want to know where you're at now. Yeah. Was it a precursor to great things that you would go on to do? Or too much pressure. Or yeah, way too much pressure and you crumbled under it. Or maybe you decided you didn't want to go down a certain path and you wanted to do something else.

Yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah, whatever it was. Whatever it was. Did you get ducks at your school? And what are you doing now? It's a very simple question. You know?

We'll know from how you feel about it. Absolutely. Someone texted her and said, the Supreme Ducks could be called Ducks Deluxe. Oh, there it is. That's good. Well, that's an incredibly tasty duck meal from a restaurant. What, Ducks Deluxe?

The Ducks Deluxe. I'll have the Ducks Deluxe with everything on it. And I'll have the Duck Nuts, please. Yeah. Bree and Clint, just a starter, the Ducks Nuts. Bree and Clint. Let's play Google Downs. Do you feel lucky?

Well, do you? It's time for Bree and Clint's Google Downs. Punk. The game where we find out who is the fastest Googler in the bunch and you get to pick up 50 KFC chicken dollars if you back the winner. I want to make a prediction early. I think Ella and Claudia are both quite preoccupied this week with the big 100 metre race.

Yeah, that takes up a lot of brain space. I think they're shook and I think they're beatable. I ain't shaking in no boots. Okay. Especially with that tough guy's speech. Here we are. Let's rip into it. Here's the rules as per usual.

I've put these questions into Google. I'm looking for the correct answer that Google gives. If you're the first person to yell out the correct one, I'll give you a point. First to three points takes home the win. Are we ready to play? I hope so. Alright, here comes question number one. Who won the Oscar in

1993 for Best Actor? Who won the Oscar? Al Pacino. Clint Eastwood. Al Pacino. Emma Thompson. Al Pacino. Emma Thompson. Al Pacino. I kind of want to give a point to Ella for saying that.

You can't. Al Pacino. You can't reward that. I mean, it is my game. I can do what I want. You can. You do it. You do it, Brie.

But I won't. The point goes to Clint. It is Al Pacino, otherwise known as his stage name, Al Pacino. Thank you. Sounds like pasta. Sorry, is that rude? He is Italian. Oh, right.

I'm so sorry. All right. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Quick, next. Move on. Al Pacino at the casino. Al Pacino.

All right. Question number two. Move on quickly, you idiot. How tall is the Sydney Opera House? 600 feet. 67 metres. 183 metres or 600 feet. The correct answer, one of you has it.

Oh, okay. Is 67 metres. Oh, that's what I got. What? Which means Clint is way out in front on this game. He's two in front, one more, and it's a pantsing. Oh, no. Here comes question... I'm just so distracted from the running, you know?

I've had too much coffee. Question... You know what they say about women in multitasking? Shut your mouth. We're good at it? Well. Oh, that's got to give you some fire, Claude. You take a point off.

Question number three. In what year was penicillin discovered? I can't spell that. 1928. I'm going to say you both got there. I'm going to give you both a point. I'm going to give you both a point. Take it. So you're both well on the way.

Yes. You're welcome, ladies. Oh, shut your mouth. A bit of fire I've just put in the bellies. Get out of here. Snakes. Question number four. How much did Arnold Schwarzenegger make for the original Terminator film?

I can't spell. $75, the original Terminator film? I can't spell. $75,000. Terminator film. About $223,000 when adjusted for inflation. I don't know. That is... $75,000? Correct.

$75,000. And Clint takes home the win this week. A win for the good guys, finally. Peter. That means, Peter, you're getting the KFC. Yo, good one. You're welcome, Peter. Thanks for believing in me, by the way.

You're the only person that texted Clint. Oh, really? I thought it was a bad sign. That's not true. That's not true. Oh, that was some thought it was a downside. That's not true. That's not true. Oh, that was some shade, Ramella. I'm learning from the best, Bree. Oh, Peter's like, don't mind me, I've got the KFC.

Peter's good to go. He's good to go. Speaking of that big race, which clearly is taking up so much mental capacity of our female members of the show, next, you are going to declare your race names for this. If you haven't heard yet, Bree is going to race Claudia and Ella in a 100 metre sprint

because some random person on the internet asked them to. Yeah, we haven't even discussed if there's a prize. We're doing this for free. Yeah, what's the prize? It was your idea. It wasn't my idea. It was the podcast listeners' idea. If I'm calling this race, I need to know what to call you It was your idea. It wasn't my idea. It was the podcast listener's idea.

If I'm calling this race, I need to know what to call you, so you will put forward your own race names. Next, if you have any suggestions for Ella, Claudia or Bree, it's not too late to text them in to 9696. I've got a few I need to workshop. Yeah? Yeah. I know, I've got nothing.

Brown Lightning. What? No. White Lightning is one of them. Oh, okay. I thought Brown Lightning because it's like... But anyway, we'll got nothing. Brown lightning. What? No. White lightning is one of them. Oh, okay. I thought brown lightning because it's like... But anyway, we'll come up with it next. It's set in.

Bree and Clint. This Friday, after a challenge from a podcast listener came in, Bree will race Claudia and Ella in a 100 metre sprint. A podcast listener said, I really don't know who would win out of you Claudia and Ella. Can you please put this to the test? And so we have turned it into a massive deal

and we're calling it the race that is going to stop the nation. Yeah. It's the Olympics before the Olympics. The girls are taking this incredibly seriously today. I saw in the group chat today they've sourced sponsorship from Rebel Sport. Yes, appreciate Rebel Sport coming on board.

Obviously, they've recognised how big this event is. The real athletes need to be dressed. And how important it is that we need a sports bra. Yeah, I think that's the biggest bit, right? That is the main part. They are supporters in more way than one. Yes, we thank you. We thank you, Rebel Sport.

I'm not invited to race, so I'll be commentating the race. The key thing that I need to know is what to call you guys in this race. I know you don't want to be called Ella, Bree and Claudia. It's not staunch enough. And the 100 metre race is all about posturing, right? It's all about steez. Yeah. We need names. You. Yeah. Like boxing.

So you need names. Like a horse race, they've got cool names. So the girls have been away today and they've come up with their names. Who would like to debut their race name first? I'm not too sure. I'm still, I don't know where I've landed on my name. Can I share some of the suggestions that have come through? Yes, that's a good idea. We asked you guys, we said you're welcome to suggest a name for the girls.

Someone said Claude the Fraud. Oh! Claude the Fraud. Actually, that's fair. I'm not a sprinter. I shouldn't be there. But give your underdog status that way. Yeah, that's true.

On the back of what happened in Google Downs before, someone said Ella could be Al Pacino. That's good. I like that because she thought Al Pacino was El Pacino. That's what it read like. And then like the racehorse, Brie could be Fartlap. I do like Fartlap. I mean, it's after an iconic Kiwi and Fartlap was incredibly fast.

Incredibly fast. And quite big. Yeah. Which I feel like is the same as me. Powerful r fast. And quite big. Yeah. Which I feel like is the same as me. Powerful rump. Big, powerful rump. Big heart. I think you guys need to back yourselves, okay?

This is a race of confidence. So I'm going to throw Claudia in first. Okay. Claudia, please tell me what your 100 metre race name is. I'm going to be Gimli, son of Gloin. Gimli, son of Gloin. Gimli, son of Gloin. Anyone that has watched Lord of the Rings will recognise this little quote from Gimli. I'm wasted on cross-country.

We dwarves are natural sprinters. Very dangerous over short distances. Like me, I'm very dangerous over short distances. That's the nerdiest name I've ever heard. I'm going to need to be fast. Can I just go with Gimli for you? Yeah, you can go with Gimli. That's the nerdiest name I've ever heard. Can I, because I'm going to need to be fast, can I just go with Gimli for you? Yeah, you can go with Gimli, that's fine. And just so we're clear, Gimli is the short guy with the axe, isn't he?

Yeah, 100%. On my axe. The big ginger beard. Got it. So funny. Gimli confirms in lane one. We go to lane two now where Ella would like to be known as... Barking Mad.

Barking Mad Ella. Yeah, do you like it? I was toying up with Tracy Chapman. Why? Fast car. Oh, that's good. But no, no, no, I like the bark. I quite like Tracy Chapman.

I know you do, but... Okay, so you're barking mad. Not mad dog, just barking mad. Oh, maybe I should have gone mad dog. It's too late. Too late. Barking mad in lane two. Okay.

I'm really torn now. I kind of like fart lap. I feel like it's better. You can take it. I feel like it's better than any of mine. But also, Tracy Chapman's there. What's your top? Apart from Fartlet, what's the top one on your list at the moment?

The top ones I had were White Lightning. Can I say everybody wanted to be called White Lightning? Which is a cool name. It's a cool name. It's really cool. Light Breeze. Oh, that's funny. Bree-lit for speed.

Like built for speed. Oh, right. Brilt for speed. Noel it for speed. Like built for speed. Oh, right. Brilt for speed. No, too, yeah. Or the shocker. The shocker. Okay. Yeah, the shocker.

Okay, well, they're all on the table, and so is fart lap. In lane three will be fart lap. Yeah, you have to. It's too good. It's too good. It's too good. I appreciate the person that ticks that through. Gimli vs Barking Mad vs Fart Lap will take place at 1pm in Victoria Park this Friday. Everybody is welcome to come and watch.

But please don't. Thank you so much. No, I don't think we should do that. The more cameras we can get on this, the better. The more footage we'll have to put the video together. 1 o'clock in Auckland's Victoria Park. You can come and join us for that. Oh, God.

Two things. We'll have a sprinting expert in the form of James Mortimer joining us on the show after 5.30 to give you girls some tips. And tomorrow, I've got an expert coming on to provide odds on who's going to win this race. See? Like betting odds. I heard, guys, that the TAB is actually picking this up.

I heard they're going to have the actual race up on the TAB. People are going to be able to bet. Forget the wars. Who cares about the bloody Melbourne Cup? Get it in your multi. It's a hot multi pitch. Coming in hot. Hit those stretchers up, guys.

Remember last year when we were all doing the census? Do you remember that? Yeah. When that was the hot topic? Oh, that was a punish. Be honest with me. Did you do your census?

I did. Did you? Yes, I did do it. Yeah. Are you the cops? No, not the cops. No, just a friend. Are you from the government?

Just a friend who's hoping you had your say. I did. I can look you in the eye and say, I actually did the census for me and my partner. Shocking participation in the census, I heard. Was it? Well, just hard. I mean, it's just a bit of a punish.

It's hard to get people to do anything in the years directly after COVID. Because we all did what we were told for so long. True. And now it's like, just please don't talk to us at all did what we were told for so long. True. And now it's like, just please don't talk to us at all. I felt like it was quite invasive. The census? Yeah. Did you really?

Some of the questions? No. I didn't feel like it was invasive enough. I was like, ask me more about me, my favourite topic. They ask a lot of questions and I was like, where's this information going? It could get hacked. Well, yeah, but, yeah, but.

You know, my salary, if I want kids, if I have kids. What else did they ask? I don't think they asked if you wanted kids. I feel like they did. Really? I feel like they did. Oh, nah. It was pretty surface level.

It was so short, the census. Oh, I felt like it was long. What census did you do versus what did I do? I thought there was going to be more questions. Maybe I did a fake census. Oh, I felt like it was long. What census did you do versus what did I do? I thought there was going to be more questions. Maybe I did a fake census. You've been scammed. I've been scammed. You've clicked on that census link that got text to your phone.

And then it's like, just put your credit card details in here. You didn't put your credit card details in? No, weirdly. And the results from that census are starting to come out now. So we're starting to see. I am interested in the results. Almost one in five people living in New Zealand now have Maori whakapapa, with the Maori population growing to over almost a million people.

That's one in five people in New Zealand. So that's big. Yeah, that is big. The census also showed that one in three people under 25 is now Maori. One in three. Yeah, because, I mean, I'd love to know the results from the last census to this one. Yeah, it's gone up anyway. Yeah.

The other bit is from the census, the big news that's come out is that we're getting old as a country. We're getting older. What do you mean? Data showed that the median age of New Zealand has increased to 38.1 years. That's the median age of a New Zealander at the moment, which is up 0.7 years from the previous census. Less people having kids. Less people having kids.

We're not replacing the old people with young people. Yeah, a lot of people. I feel like our generation is that first kind of generation where a lot of us are kind of like, do I want kids? Should I be having kids? Yeah. Should I be having more than one kid or two kids? You know, our generation's kind of like that first one where we're all kind of really thinking

about it. That's totally true. That's totally true. Gisborne, Bay of Plenty and Hawke's Bay were the only areas that got younger. Everywhere else got older. Okay. Auckland is the youngest region in New Zealand. The median age here is you, 35.

Right. You 35? Yeah. Yeah. You're the median age of Aucklanders. And that's the youngest region in the country. There's a lot of us kicking around in Auckland. Yeah, but we're not having enough babies

and we're not bringing enough people into the country, but we don't have enough babies. So I've done my bit. I've had my babies. But am I doing my bit for the environment? By what? By not having babies. Oh.

It made me feel good in some way. Well, yeah. But what good's the environment if there's no people here to enjoy it? What good's the people enjoying it if there's no environment? Ha ha! You're the exact opposite of what the government

doesn't want, eh? They want you to do your census and have some babies and you're like, I don't trust that census thing and I don't want any babies. The royal photographer Arthur Edwards has come out six years after Meghan Markle and Prince Harry's wedding and has said it was a miserable day for him.

Well, for him. Yeah, he called it miserable. Him as the photographer, not Harry. No, no. He doesn't really know all that much because he was made to stand so far back. But he said from what he could see, like, it was just a miserable day. Right. We've got some audio of him talking about what it was like to be a photographer on the day.

The day was a miserable day. I can tell you now, it was the worst royal wedding I ever did. Harry was determined to keep the newspapers away from it as much as possible. And the photographers they engaged for the job was there, was five feet away. You know, it was just hopeless. And then the carriage shot, when they went past me in the there, was five feet away, you know. It was just hopeless.

And then the carriage shot, when they went past me in the carriage, they looked the other way. So for me, it was a disaster. Well, was that deliberate? You were made to feel unwell? I felt so. It wasn't just me. It was the whole of the British press.

You know, they were in many ways badly treated. Yeah. Allegedly, apparently, it was very tense. Like incredibly tense on the day between everyone including Harry and Meghan Markle.

Oh, okay. Like everyone was just kind of on edge. He would have hated being on display like that. And it's part of the job. He hadn't quit the job then, had he? No. So it was part of the job. That is't quit the job then, had he? So it was part of the job. That is true. So he had to do the thing. Doesn't really seem like his bag, does it? Nah. Nah, he's very burnt on

all that kind of thing. There are people though, even if you are not a member of the royal family, who hate the idea of photos, even on their wedding day. You know? If you don't like photos, you don't like photos. And even if it's your wedding day, you don't want to stand there and pose. And I reckon it can cause a few fights.

My brother, I was so proud of my brother because my brother hates photos. Just doesn't like getting photos. You've got to suck it up on your wedding day though. And I watched my brother suck it up big. He did the amazing vows.

My brother's vows were some of the most amazing vows I've ever heard. And my brother hates that stuff. He hates public speaking, hates public displays of affection. But my brother stepped up to the plate and he did the vows. And then I saw him and I watched him stand there and take just photo after photo. And I know he would have been hating every second of it. I've been a groomsman

in some of my friends' weddings and there's definitely been an overarching vibe of alright, just get it done. Alright, just get in the photo. Just get it done. I'm going to get back there and drink some piss. Yeah, hurry up. Hurry up. Burn through the photos. You spent like five grand on the photographer and you're like, can you just take the bloody photo so we can move on?

Just hurry up. Grandma, can you just take the bloody photos so we can move on? Sorry, get grandma. Can you wheel grandma in here? Yep, got one. Click. All right, get grandma out. It is a place where a potential place where conflict can happen on a wedding day. It really is. I feel like the photographer, like photographers who go to weddings

or videographers now as well would see some stuff on wedding days. A special skill because you're managing people, aren't you? Yeah. You're not just there to capture the setting. You're trying to get the energy from everyone. You're trying to get the best out of everyone. You know, you're trying to get the,

capture these amazing moments from, you know, the people who are getting married. You're trying to get the drunk uncle to take his sunglasses off in the family picture. It's so much pressure. And I feel like they would have seen it all. Yeah. I'd love to ask, especially like wedding photographers

or videographers listening. Yeah. Like, did you see a fight go down at a wedding? Yeah. Especially between like the two people getting married. You don't have to give us any details about it, obviously. Yeah, like was there an argument? Yeah, what happened? What caused the fight? Or maybe you were give us any details about it, obviously. Yeah, like was there an argument?

Yeah, what happened? What caused the fight? Or maybe you were just a guest at the wedding as well. Yeah. And you saw a fight go down at the wedding. Maybe you want to call in, maybe it was your wedding and you could admit, I had a fight with my partner on our wedding day. Maybe it wasn't even your partner. Maybe you kicked off at your sister for something on the wedding day.

True. I didn't even think about that. You know, because it's a high-pressure situation. It is. I feel like everyone's kind of a little bit on edge until, you know, the dance floor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Once people hit the dance floor.

It's all done then. Then everyone's having a good time. 0800 dial ZM or you can text to 9696 and we can keep you anonymous. We just want to know, did you see a fight go down at a wedding? Bree and Clint. A lot of physical fights. I feel like we should have leaned more towards argument. Yeah, we would have taken argument.

A lot of physical fights coming through. A lot of physical fights at the wedding. This one's not a physical one. Someone texted her and said, I had a fight with my mum. Oh, that sucks. On my wedding day because she was supposed to be at the house to help me get into my dress and have all those nice mother-daughter photos. She was crazy late and I ended up having to get ready without her,

which sucked. Oh. I'd be fuming as well. You would be. Because I'd be like, where are you? Yeah. I'd be like, where the hell are you? This is the one day.

This is the day. This is my day. I bet your mum felt bad afterwards. I really, if that person. I hope so anyway. If that person's still listening, where was she? What was her excuse? Or this one. Would have had to be good. I was at a wedding and I saw the bride's dad and the groom's dad get

in a punch up over the bride being a Catholic. Oh, no. Not the Catholics versus Protestants at the wedding. Oh, no. That's the last thing you want to go down at the wedding. Let's go to Rebecca on 0800. Hi, Rebecca.

Hi, guys. How are you going? Good, thanks, Bec. Tell us, mate, was it a fight that went down at your wedding? Yes, it was my wedding. First of all, who serves coloured food to a bride on her wedding day? Who says what? Who serves coloured food to a bride on her wedding day?

Oh, no. So I spilt it. My grandmother took me to the toilet to clean it all off, put the food on my beautiful white dress that she'd made. When I got back, my husband had stolen my beautiful white dress that she'd made. When I got back, the husband had stolen my pork crackle. No! Back!

Yes, he did. Divorce! Actually, seven years later, he did it again, so it was awesome. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I tell you, man, he never lived it down. Every time we had pork on the plate, he'd look at me, and I'd just give him the death stare.

Are you serious? On your wedding day, your husband, you get up to leave to go to the bathroom, you come back, and he's taking your pork crackle. I would be human. He's like, well, what's yours is mine now. And there was none left either, so I didn't even get pork crackle on the day. I don't think you would.

I'm so angry for you, Bec. I'm so angry. That's the main reason you got married, eh, Rebecca, was to get that pork crackling. The only reason. Mate, you're a saint that you stayed with him for seven years after that. How about this text?

I gave my maid of honour sister, who was 21, a rev up because she was trying to get into my husband's uncle, who was 65. Oh, no. I scared her off. And then she tried to come back for more when she thought I wasn't around. But I was.

That's not what you want to be doing on your wedding day, making sure your little sister doesn't get into the... Getting into your husband's old ass uncle. God, jeez. I want to know what city that was in. This person wants to be anonymous. Hi, anonymous. Hi, anonymous.

Hey, how are you going? Good, thank you. It wasn't you that got into a fight at a wedding, was it, anonymous? No, it wasn't. It was, I was the bride, it was my mother and my husband, the groom. They got in a fight. No. Actually, more just one-sided.

We had two weddings. We had one in New Zealand and one in the UK. Yeah, fancy. Yeah, it was fancy. And the New Zealand wedding, she wasn't that well behaved, but nothing for what she held back for the English wedding. So the English wedding, my in-laws had put everything on and my husband had arranged for my father to turn up somewhat unexpectedly.

And so my mother lost her stuff and stood in the churchyard screaming across all of our guests that my husband was the son of Satan and she'd never talk to him again. Can I assume that your mum and your dad were not together anymore and so the surprise was not something that she appreciated? Yes, it wasn't.

So for getting your dad there who she didn't like, your husband is the son of Satan? Yeah. Anonymous. Anonymous. Do you feel like your hubby should have told her that he was coming?

Well, no, because they always played really nice at Christmas. Okay. So we really had no idea. It's a special occasion too, right? Yeah. You park your crap for other people on the special occasions. Yeah, and we'd already had one family wedding, so she kind of had her moment how she wanted it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but she wanted two anonymous even though it was meant to be yours. Yeah, so everybody's head just spun round and there was people like, who's that? It's the bride's mother. Oh my God, really? Oh, you poor thing.

Oh look, to be honest I really didn't care by then. I was just like, whatever. My aunt actually jumped on her, dragged her away and said to me, I didn't know she was still behaving like that. And I was like, oh, what do you mean, still? Yeah, she'd had a bottle of Chardonnay by that point. No, I think she was sober.

That didn't change it. Oh, no. Well, good to know that you're not the only one who's experienced it, you know? Oh, exactly. Good to have the comments from the aunties. Did she ever regret it and apologise to you guys or your hubby? No, we spent about six months not talking and then we tried to resolve things. And no, she was just oblivious.

Oh, that sucks. But that's all right. Look, certainly we never think about that day as being a dull day. No, exactly right. We laugh about it. That's the spice of life, right, Anonymous? Yeah, completely. It's always good for a dull day. No, exactly right. We laugh about it. That's the spice of life, right, Anonymous? Yeah, completely. It's always good for a giggle.

And it was good because you had your other wedding in New Zealand first. Exactly. Thanks for calling through, Anonymous. That's the key. If you have a bad wedding, just have another one. Well, that's the thing. You can always have two. And like the pork crackling situation,

it doesn't have to be to the same person. No, you can just pick whoever. You can change out anybody in the wedding situation. Bree and Clint, we're going to do your birthday banger next. If you want to know the number one song when you turn 16, you can call us right now. 0800-DIAL-ZM. Bree and Clint.

People at home can't see this, but I've got all my new Chiefs jersey gear on. My new Chiefs kit has just arrived for the end of the super rugby season so just so you know listening to this i'm wearing the full kit at the moment and uh warriors if you're listening i will 100 rock any warriors merch you want because i'm the warriors girl on this show yeah yeah i'm more i'm warriors guy too so there's any warriors stuff oh no'll keep. No, you've got your Chiefs stuff. They're different competitions. No, you've got your Chiefs. They're completely different.

You've got your Chiefs. I'm Warriors. So Warriors, if you're listening. Yeah. We're bringing clans. All I want for my birthday is a birthday banger. Up the waz. Let's do birthday banger for your Wednesday.

Number one songs when you turn 16. And we'll play our favourite one out in full. The hat is getting cooler and cooler. Sorry, it's quite hard to hear under the bucket hat with the headphones. But we're good to go now. Let's go to Alice on 0800. Is it him? Hi, Alice.

Hi, Alice. Hi. How's it going? Good, mate. How's your day been? Yeah, not too bad. Good to hear. Well, what's your DOB, Alice?

It's the 16th of May, 1980. Okay. All right, Alice, that means you were 16 in 1996. And on your 16th, this was number one. Happy birthday for a couple of weeks ago, Alice. What do you think of that one from Tupac? Yeah, pretty good. That's true.

My son's pretty happy about it too. Yeah. I like it. Nice. Okay, wait there. We're going to do a birthday banger for Ava. Kia ora, Ava. Hi, Ava.

Hey, guys. How are you? Good, mate. What have you been up to today? Oh, just studying. Studying? What are you studying? I do chemistry.

Oh. That's a lot. God, you're smart then. At university. Oh, that doesn't mean anything. Yes, yeah, university. God, you're smart then. At university? That doesn't mean anything. Yes, yeah, university. What are you going to go on to do with your chemistry degree? I kind of want to go into like the forensics area and testing blood and drugs.

Oh! Or if that doesn't work out, buy an RV. Yeah. Like on Breaking Bad. Yeah, go out into the desert. We joke, Ava. Grab some of those new Codrill cold and flus that they've just brought back. Yeah, they're back on the shelves now, Ava.

We joke, we joke. Well, you're a smart cookie. Let's do your birthday banger. What is your birthday? 21st of September, 2004. All right, Ava, that means you were 16 not all that long ago, back in 2020 during COVID, and this is your birthday back. Ed Sheeran and Shivers.

What do you reckon, Ava? I like the other one better. Oh, you like California Love. I don't mind that one from the Sheer Dog. Yeah. It's catchy. It's less punishing that one from the Sheardog. Yeah. It's catchy. It's less punishing than some of the Ed Sheeran songs. Oh, come on.

No, it's either fun or punishing. Those are the two categories of Ed Sheeran songs. Not too bad, Ava. Not too bad. Right there, we're going to do Macy's mum's birthday banger. Hi, Macy. Hi, Macy. Hi.

How old are you, Macy? I'm 12. 12. So not old enough to play birthday banger, but we can do your mum's. All we need is your mum's birthday. 3rd of September 1983.

Right. Nice work, Macy. That means your mum was 16 in 1999 and this is her birthday banger. A little bit of Monica in my life. A little bit of Erica by my side. And this is her birthday banger. Please tell me your mum's name is Jessica, Tina, Rita. Sandra or Rita, yeah.

That's a great one. That's a great one. What's mum's name, Macy? Joanne. Joanne. Joanne? I think I might. Is Joanne in the song?

Oh, Lauren. Lauren. I think Lauren's in the song too. I think it might be. I think? I think I might. Is Joanne in the song? Oh, Lauren. Lauren. Lauren. I think Lauren's in the song too. I think it might be. I think Lou Bega had all bases covered. Wait there, guys. We're going to decide between Tupac, Ed Sheeran and Lou Bega. I'm picking Lou Bega, mumbo number five.

Yeah, it's got the... I'm going with Macy and her mum. It's got vibes today. Hey, Macy, you've done a good thing for your mum today and you've just won birthday banger. Congratulations. Nice work. Call back when you turn 16, okay, Macy, you've done a good thing for your mum today and you've just won birthday banger. Congratulations. Nice work. Call back when you turn 16, okay, Macy? Yep.

All right, we'll talk to you then. Brian Clint from 1999. He's mumbo number five on ZM. One, two, three, four, five. Everybody in the car, so come on, let's ride to the... Brian Clint. Mumbo No. 5. Zed and Bree and Clint.

That's a birthday banger today for Macy's mum from 1999. It's got it going on. She's all I want and I've waited for so long. Macy, can't you see? You're just not the girl for me. Oh, that's not fair. Macy's 12. Well, not, yeah. Macy, you did great.

And your mum will take both of you. I know I might be wrong, but I'm in love with Macy's mum. Yeah. Diggs on the show, you have decided to go on a 100 metre sprint against the producers on this show, Ella and Claudia. Can I just say this was not my idea? A podcast listener has come up with this idea because they have always just wondered

who would win in a foot race between me and the two producers. It's a weird thing to wonder. I mean, there's a lot of weird thoughts that go around, isn't there? So next, for three untrained runners, we're going to get some expert advice. I resent that. Do you? I resent that.

Is it false information? I trained in primary school. Yeah, right. Okay. It's only defamation if it's not true. We're going to get James Mortimer on the show. He's a former New Zealand sprinter. He is an Olympic sprinting coach.

He is working with the incredible Zoe Hobbs for the Paris 2024 Olympics and he's going to give you guys as much advice as he can into the big race. This is good because I want to ask him if I should go shoes on or shoes off. Great idea. Bree and Clint. This Friday in one of the more random things we've done

on this show, Bree will race Claudia and Ella, the two producers on this show, in a 100 metre sprint. They're calling it the race that's going to stop the nation, the Olympics before the Olympics. It's the biggest event of the year before the Melbourne Cup. You girls are going hard. You're taking this very seriously.

So I thought we have to go hard too. And we've got some expert advice in, in the form of former New Zealand sprinter and current New Zealand sprinting coach, James Mortimer on the phone with us. Hi, James. G'day, James. How's it going? Good to have a fellow sprinter and current New Zealand sprinting coach, James Mortimer, on the phone with us. Hi, James. G'day, James. How's it going? Good to have a fellow sprinter on the show. I mean, it's not a quiet time for you.

There are Olympic Games coming up, so thanks for giving up your time for such a silly cause, first of all. No, it sounds very serious. Oh, yeah. No, it is actually very serious. It's got everyone talking, and it's caused quite a divide between the group here in the studio, James, so it'd be good to get some expert advice going into the race on Friday.

Yeah, I mean, well, sprinting starts with a lot of trash talk, so you've got to start now. There's a lot of posturing involved, isn't there? Perfect, perfect. Absolutely. Can I start with a safety concern? There's four days of preparation for this race. Minimal strength and conditioning has been going on.

I don't even know if there's any stretching happening. What's the risk of injury to our athletes in this 100-metre dash? Probably pretty high, to be honest. There's not a lot of preparation going on. Oh, no. You've obviously got to be quite explosive in a lot of areas and have good sprint mechanics to make sure that the body holds together. But excited to see what happens, but also I'll be pretty nervous.

So I've had quite a sore groin for like a number of weeks, but you don't use the groin in sprinting, do you? Not as much as other parts of the body. I'm in the clip. It would still be a safety concern. Can I ask, James, what's the slowest? Obviously, you've got some very fast athletes under you in the form of Zoe Hobbs. You've worked with Liam Malone before.

What's the slowest you've seen a healthy person do the 100 metres? Oh, no. Where's the flaw? I mean, even some of these masters these days at sort of age 90 and things like that can still rip out a pretty good time. What's a pretty good time at the masters? Under 15 seconds. Oh, you're bloody joking. Would you expect three women under the age of 42 at least get under 20 seconds? I would hope so. He doesn't sound confident. Yeah, I would admit I'm not that confident

but not with four days leading in, no. Yeah, right. Hey, what physically makes the best natural sprinter? Obviously, there's a lot of good parent selection in there. If your parents are very athletic, then you've got a good starting place there. My dad's had two knee replacements, so I'm not looking good. Okay.

Sprinting's a sport for all, right? Usain Bolt was 6'6 and Shelly Ann Fraser, who's the best female at the moment, is 5 foot. Okay. Yeah, there's a big range there. That's good. I've seen Claudia and Ella doing a lot of work around coming out of the blocks

fast. How much of the 100 metre sprint is in that start? A lot. Yep, you reach... The top guys reach about 50% of their max speed by the first couple of steps. Wow! You should be quite explosive in that first metre or two.

Right, OK. So, James, Ali here. Hi, nice to meet you. Do you have any advice on, like, the starting then? Because that's what I'm worried about. Like, do I start on the back foot or the front foot? Or on the floor. On the floor. Yeah, nice to meet you. Do you have any advice on the starting thing? Because that's what I'm worried about. Do I start on the back foot or the front foot? Or on the floor. On the floor. Yeah, what do I do?

I would put your strongest foot first. So that's the one you're going to push on. Think about the leg that you plant your foot when you go to kick a ball. Oh, left foot. Okay. She's never kicked a ball before. Go do that. Kicking a ball is next week's challenge.

James, I'm so glad you're here because I have one very, very important question for you because there has been a lot of discussion. We will be running down at Vic Park on grass and there's been a bit of discussion over do we go in shoes or barefoot? What would you say is the best way

to go? If it's a dry condition, you've got to go bare feet. I knew it. Wow. I knew you'd get more flexibility. That is runner's choice, by the way. James, thank you for your advice. I think everybody's taken something out of it. I've taken that we need to have St. John on standby.

Yeah, at least a physio. At least a physio or some kind of stretcher to get people back up the hill to the studio. It's going to be great. Best of luck with the Olympic Games and representing New Zealand

over there with all of your athletes and thank you for your expertise this afternoon. No problem and thank you very much. I look forward to seeing some video.

Really appreciate that, James. We'll see you out there on the track, okay? Call me if you run past. We'll let you know. He wants nothing to do with you if you go over 20 seconds. Don't call us. We'll call you.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Bree and Clint. And that's the end of the show. Thanks for joining us, everybody. It was nice. On the show, you might want to get the podcast. Ella has tried to force us to eat her tofu scramble, which I'm going to go. I'm not eating it. I'm going to HR about it. I'm to eat her tofu scramble Oh yeah Which I'm going to go

I'm not eating it I'm going to HR about it I'm not eating your tofu scramble We're not taking your tofu scramble, okay? Eat it It's vegan propaganda You ate cat food for goodness sake You can eat my tofu

Because I lost a bit Oh that's your And don't even pretend like this tofu scramble was made with love for us to try It's your leftover lunch that you're forcing on us. I made it this morning. How much is a block of tofu these days? So I go to Tofu Man in Northcote and... Is that a shop?

Yeah. Tofu Man? Yeah. And then I go in and... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Tofu Man. I got four big blocks, four big blocks of soft tofu for $7. Jeez, that's pretty good. That is cheap.

How many blocks in a scramble? I put two in this one. Oh, okay. No, it gives me a big fat meal. Probably four meals, but I make it two. Right, okay. And what gives it flavor? That's exciting times.

Is it full of soy sauce? So tofu soaks up whatever flavor you put in it so i put yeah thanks for tofu mansplaining tofu to me i know how it works well what do you put in it i put tofu no sorry i put turmeric turmeric cumin you put coriander you put oregano you put everything in it oh my gosh do you put eggs in it no you idiot do you cook it in bacon fat, you guys. Do you put eggs in it? No, you idiot. Do you cook it in bacon fat? Okay, you guys are immature. I'll talk to you when you handle it. That was a good call from her. She won that.

She won that round. We'll be back tomorrow, though. She won that round. Our special guest is the tofu man joining us on the show. You vegan vigilante. I'm going to get you. Have a great night, everybody. We'll catch you back tomorrow. You vegan vigilante. I'm going to get you. Have a great night, everybody.

We'll catch you back tomorrow.