ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – 7th July 2022

Episode Date: July 7, 2022

Is lip balm a conspiracy? They're a 10 but..... Worst first date questions Palmerston North drag scene with Spankie Jackzon!!! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Do we play that version where it says, pack up your stuff and go? No, we play the shit version where it goes, pack up your shit and go. Right. Work hard and I just can't pay it. Spend my money on whatever I like.

Okay, here we go. Hello everybody, welcome to the Skeleton Staff edition of the Bree and Clint podcast. Guess who's back, back, back, back again. Again, again. Shady's back. Back, back. You called me shady. Sorry.

You meant to put his name in there. Donks is back. Back, back. You guys can't get rid of me, can you? Guess who's back. You're like a red wine stain. You're like a bad virus. Yeah. You know? a red wine stain. You're like a bad virus. You know? Just keep coming back.

You're like a dropped butter chicken on a white rug. We're very lucky to have you here this morning, Don. Very specific. Producer Ella and Producer Claudia have gone down. Is it COVID? It's not COVID. It's not COVID, but it's symptomatic of COVID. Right. Could be flu. You have to stay home. Could be

the flu. Could be soft cockitis. Soft cockitis. They might be listening to this. Could be the man flu. Could be man flu. Just wanted a day off. Oh, man flu will take you out for a week. Clint and I have been drinking our concrete smoothie, so we're here.

Yeah. Which is good. Donks is here. And Donks is from the South, man. Oh, they built him tough In the south They built him bloody tough You're telling me

I We were just singing Some stupid song Before we did the podcast And it really annoyed me Because that song Has been stuck in my head I told you this

It's been stuck in my head Since Monday It's this song I can't get this stupid song Out of my head I go to sleep with it In my head I wake up And as soon song out of my head. I go to sleep with it in my head. I wake up and as soon as I open my eyes, all I hear is, You said you fucked up on a night out.

You're trying to figure how to worm your way out. Isn't that just what Lucy said to you when you woke up this morning? Yeah, that might be it. That might be why. No. You know what earworm I've had for woke up this morning? Yeah, that might be it. That might be why. No. You know what earworm I've had for the last 24 hours? Yeah. Our anniversary song. Oh, have you heard it, Donks?

Your anniversary song? Oh, you haven't heard it? No. Oh, we've got to play it for Donks. This isn't the one-hit wonder from the Hot Mess Express. No, no, no, no. No, this is bigger and better than that. What do you reckon it was called? I think it was Bree Surprise maybe Because we were hiding it from you So it was mine and Clint's

It's mine and Clint's four year anniversary On air together this week And I wanted to get Clint something nice And do something for the show All I've got is Bree Superbad It's you McMuffin i wonder where it is there was a there was a um a segment you did the other day where i think you're talking about plane etiquette and i'm trying to be a good producer

and get some options of you know sound effects and audio that you could have lined up uh and there was one that just said plane sound effects and all it is is Clint going, meow. Oh, that's my favorite. That's when we swapped out his actual plain sound effect with him doing a plain sound effect. No, the song, and anyway, I went on to Fiverr, this like freelancing app and hired this R&B singer and I spent five minutes writing the lyrics to an anniversary song. So good.

It came out very good. You would love it. You would absolutely love it. I'll have to go for lyrics to an anniversary song. So good. It came out very good. You would love it. You would absolutely love it. I'll have to go for a look and find it. Brie's surprise. No, it's not there. Damn it. What a build up.

What a tease. It's in yesterday's podcast. Okay. I can plug this in. Yeah, so it doesn't take too long. It won't because I've got it on email. Old school. Okay, hold on. We're going on. Oh've got it on email Old school Okay, hold on We're going on

Oh, shit You're plugging Okay, hold on You're plugging an aux cord And I'm playing an audio file off an email Yeah Okay, you ready? This is high level shit, man

Okay Alright, it's just Opening now Can I get it in time? Oh Here it is And Now

You've already turned on? Oh, I'm so tired. I'm glad this is on the podcast. Come on. Have you got the right thing up? Have you got the right cord in? Have you managed to plug the aux cord into your, what is it, the fire, the USB-C port? Okay, hold on

See Clint, this is why you don't own a Mac Here it is, I got it Is that anniversary song? We're all small for the bank It's been four years And together we've conquered our fears But most of all We down multiple beers

Yes, beers How good are beers? The Vanu Tour Friday, Yolk, Birthday, Bangor And yeah, we chased Tatum in L.A. The hot mess express That was the best But out of it all

I'd want nothing less But out of it all I'd want nothing less So here I say thank you For the last four years Let's raise our beers. Yes, beers. How good are beers?

How good are beers? To the Bree and Clint show. I say cheers to the last four years. So let's raise our beers. Yes, beers. How good are beers? Can we get this Fiverr R&B singer on for an interview just so I can ask him what he thought when he saw the lyrics come through?

We've got to book him for Friday Jams. We should, eh? Get him to do BVs on your Friday Oki. I'd love to hear some other songs he's done for people. Because you just write your own lyrics in and then he just sings it for you. I'm going to write me a song for my birthday. It's like the non-famous person version of Cameo. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty amazing. Like, I mean, it wasn't cheap, but worth it. Worth every penny. That was, I mean, generally is a very sweet thing to have done. Oh, thank you, Sam. Yeah, I think Clint liked it. I loved it. He was surprised. I thought it was to have done. Oh, thank you, Sam. Yeah, I think Clint liked it. I loved it.

He was surprised. I thought it was brilliant. Yeah, so there you go. Now, the only way I can hear it is by plugging an extension cord into Brie's laptop. Enjoy the podcast, everybody. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye, guys. I'm coming now.

Well, howdy, pilgrim. A little afternoon delight in the morning. It's ZM's Brie and Clint. It's about damn time. What's up, everybody? Welcome to the show. It's Brie and Clint. Morning, it's ZM's Bree and Clint. It's about downtime. What's up, everybody? Welcome to the show. It's Bree and Clint. Morning, guys. Happy Thursday. We're on the downhill slide.

Is that the saying? Yeah, sure. Anything from Wednesday, people will talk about the downhill slide. We're on the downhill slide to having no staff left. Both of our producers have gone down sick this morning. Not you and I, though, mate. We are going strong. Not the old Clydesdales.

Not the old immunities here. Not the old workhorses. Not the old reliables. Not the old bloody Toyota Hilux in here. They just can't take us bloody down. We're going to jinx ourselves. We have Phil and producer Donks on the ones and twos this morning. Morning, Donks. Morning, Donks.

How was the early morning Uber from Onihanga? Oh, it was not great. No. Let's not do that again. He had to get in an Uber. I ordered the Uber for him, so he had to get in and the driver was like, morning, Clint. I was

soaking up my 15 minutes of fame. I hope you preserved my immaculate reputation in that Uber I hope you kept my 5 star rating I mean, well look What's everyone's rating on Uber? Should we check? I don't have Uber You don't have Uber?

No You don't have the Uber app? No How do you get around? Public transport, man But what if you go out at night? I love public transport. But, I don't know.

Get me to order you an Uber home. Yeah. I can't believe that. So you've never had Uber? No, not really. How do I find my star rating, Brie? So go to your account and it should be up the top in the left. Oh wait, I've got to give Sam's driver a star rating. Was it a five star trip? Oh heck yeah. Five stars?

Okay, cool. He was great. Go to my profile. Go to your Pro account, and it should be up top left. Oh, yeah, I got mine. I know what mine is. What is it? Yeah, I know what mine is.

4.86. Oh, 4.81. Yeah. Terrible passenger. I reckon that was the night I took Mama Di out on K Road, my mum, and she was just so chatty on the drive home. Didn't you do it in the back of an Uber once? Oh, stop.

I'm not that crazy. I wish I had that story, but no. Did it push your rating up or down? I guess it depends what your driver was into, eh? Depends, yeah. Depends who your driver is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bree and Clint.

Bree and Clint. Bree and Clint. Tradies versus ladies. Appreciate everyone's text. Our second producer this morning is you guys on the text machine, so we appreciate you. The tradies took it out yesterday. Ricky. That's what I said.

Yeah, no, yeah, that's what you were saying. Yeah. You definitely remembered. The tradies will not win this morning because we don't have one to compete. It's girl-on-girl action this morning. Lady versus lady. We'll meet our first lady. She's from Christchurch.

Please welcome to the show, Mercedes. G'day, Mercedes. How are you this morning, mate? I'm good. Oh, good to have you on the show. Opportunity to win 50 bucks, but you'll have to take down Nicky. G'day, Nicky. Morning.

We're about to see you in the country this morning, Nicky. Christchurch too. Hey, okay. How cold is it in Christchurch this morning? It's not too bad, actually. Good to hear. How good's Christchurch. Okay, you're going to need your own buzzers.

What about names? Names. Let's go with names this morning. Pretty standard. Yeah. What's not normally going to be tradie or lady the buzzer? I mean for like other radio games.

Oh, yeah, well, maybe you should have said that. Mate, do you want to go me this morning, eh? Yeah, I do want to go. Do you want to go? Let's fight. Sorry, ladies.

Here we go. Your buzzers are your names. 50 bucks up for grabs. First to three wins. Good ladies. Here we go. You buzzer your name. It's 50 bucks up for grabs. First to three wins. Good luck. Here we go, guys. Question number one. What is the highest grossing holiday film of all time?

Is it Love Actually, Home Alone, or Home Alone 2? Mercedes. Mercedes. Home Alone 2. No. Nikki is a good guess, though. Love Actually. It was Home Alone 1. No. Nikki is a good guess, though. Love Actually. It was Home Alone 1.

Yeah. Yeah. Gavin! I couldn't believe it either because Home Alone 2 did very well as well. That was a loss to New York, I know. Yes. Question number two. No points there to anyone.

Who is the original voice of Buzz Lightyear? Nikki. Yes, Nikki. Is it Tom Hanks? Oh, that's Woody. Who is the original voice of Buzz Lightyear? Nicky. Yes, Nicky. Is it Tom Hanks? Oh, that's Woody. Such a good guess. Mercedes, you want to crack?

He was on Home Improvement. Woody Allen? No. We're looking for Tim Allen. Tim Allen. You've confused Woody, the character voiced by Tom Hanks, and Tim Allen. You've confused Woody, the character voiced by Tom Hanks, and Tim Allen. You've put those two together. No points there for anyone again.

Question number three. Buzz in, guys, when you can tell me who sings this song. Mercedes. It's close. Yeah. Kind of gave it away, didn't it? Nice work, though, Mercedes. You're on the board with one point.

Question number four. What is the name of the cocktail that consists of coconut milk, rum and pineapple? Nicky. Yes, Nicky. Oh, pina colada. Oh, she's on the board. Here we go. We've got a game.

You were quick on that one, weren't you, Nicky? We have a game on our hands. Question number five. Which of these is not a type of craft beer? XPA, IPA, APA or SPCA? Nicky. SPCA. That is correct. Of course, it is not a type of beer. Two alcohol-based questions correct for you there, Nicky.

There's a trend happening, Nicky. Here we go. Question number six. Which animal is known to have the most powerful bite in the world? Is it a lion, a rhino, or a hippopotamus? Nicky. Nicky for the win. Oh, hippopotamus.

She's got it. She's a lady. Oh, oh, oh, she's a lady. Oh, tight game this morning. Why wasn't a crocodile on that list? I would have thought they'd be right up there as far as powerful bite goes. Oh, I just picked some animals. Yeah, fair enough.

I put SPCA in a question. Well done, Nikki. You get 50 bucks for winning Tradiverse Lady this morning. Awesome. Thank you. Nikki, you enjoy Love Island tonight, mate, okay? Go and have a drink. Saw this article online where they're talking about this new documentary

that they're going to make where they're looking for people to apply for it. Don't worry, I've seen it. Oh, you've seen it? I've had it sent to me. Are you going to apply? No. Not for this one. The reason why we're laughing is because the new documentary

that they're looking for people for is called Too Large for Love. And it's not about fat people. No, it is not. It's not about tall people. You can take a few guesses as to what it's about. They're looking for male applicants. See if Donks can guess. Don't ask Sam Donkin. He's nice enough to come in here to fill in for the applicants. See if Donks can guess. Don't ask Sam Donkin.

He's nice enough to come in here to fill in for the producers. Sam, don't answer that question. He's a man of the world. He's cultured. Say no comment. What do you reckon the key criteria is to be a person on Too Large for Love? What do you reckon you need? No comment.

Good man. Smart this morning. It's essentially a documentary where they want to discuss the hidden problems of living with a very, very large... Donkin. Donkin. Anyway, they pretty much have said they want to showcase, you know, everything from the downsides of having a large one

and how it affects certain parts of their life. It would be fascinating just to see what these people's lives are like because everybody's like, oh, mate, that would be a dream. I'd love that. That would be so cool. What are you complaining about? But it's like, I imagine it's like women with big boobs. Oh, it's horrible, yeah.

Well, not that I can comment on that. The thing I'd love to know about having a big, I clearly don't have one. You're really putting yourself in it. love to know about having a big I clearly don't have one The thing I would love to know The thing I'd love to know about having a really large one. I'm talking like a unusably large one which is what

this doco's about. Too large to love Is there such thing as a reduction? That's a great question. It's probably something they cover in the doco. Yeah because you can have your big boobies reduced. Can you have the size of your big... I feel like it would be quite a full-on operation.

I don't think they could unless there's some kind of shrinking procedure. Do they put you on the roids for a bit? But that only shrinks your nuts. Yeah, I don't know. Do you remember that guy? Maybe this is an old wives' tale. Someone on the text machine can tell me if it is or not. But there was that story about that guy who apparently he held the record

for the largest one in the world at the time. Yeah. And apparently when certain things happened. Oh, I know this story. Yeah. When he got excited. Yeah. So much blood was needed for a certain area that he would faint.

Yeah, it would take blood away from his brain. Is that a true story? Well, that's a story that I've heard. Whether it's true or not, I don't know. Someone on the text machine can let us know. But that's a crazy story. Surely that's not true. Do you reckon there's anyone listening at the moment

who would be an applicant for Too Large To Love? I mean, probably. Like, if you look at the stats, you know. What? What are the stats? I mean, there's like if you look at the stats, you know. What? What are the stats? I mean, there's a pool of what, how many people in New Zealand, five million? Yeah.

There's at least three that could live here. Some ladies out there right now are going, well, I haven't met them. From all my research in the past 20 years, I'm going to say no. Well, there you go. If you want to apply to be on Too Large to Love, what do you do? Someone just texted through and they said, are you guys talking about me? Bree and Clint from iHeartRadio.

This is the latest live from LA with Dean McCarthy. Dean, tell us what's happened with Taika Waititi and Natalie Portman. He's so good. He is the most likeable person in Hollywood for sure. But he forgot that Natalie Portman was actually in fact in Star Wars and he asked her if she'd ever liked to be in Star Wars. And you can imagine how the conversation went down. He's like, I think you'd be so good in a Star Wars film.

How have you never been asked? You'd be brilliant. And she's like, what? She's like, bro, I'm Padme. To me, Natalie Portman is Star Wars. Yeah, she's the modern Star Wars. She is, eh? Surely he thought she was someone else.

Maybe he did what I do and he got Natalie Portman confused with Keira Knightley because I quite often can't tell them apart. How do you get those two people confused? One's English and one's American. Oh my god, same. Thank you, Dean. Thank you. I'd understand, like, you know two celebrities I always get confused with? Who? Mark Wahlberg

and Matt Damon. I'm always confused. I'm like, which one was in the Martian movie? See, no, I can't see that one. Oh, you can't see that one? Natalie Portman and Keira Knightley for me, they're both quite little, and I imagine them both being quite gentle as well.

Isn't Keira Knightley quite tall, though? Dean, have you met Keira Knightley? No, I haven't. Keira Knightley. Keira Knightley. Keira Knightley. I look quite pretty. I totally see the resemblance, but my mind is blown that you would even say that, Clint.

I'm absolutely blown. Taika Waititi is doing everything at the moment. The fact that he is about to take on a Star Wars film just shows. He's unstoppable. There's nothing he can't do. It's massive. I can't wait to see it, too, because I feel like he brings his own flavour to classics, which I think is great because they evolve and they change and he's the man for the job.

You hire him to give something the type of treatment, don't you? Yeah, exactly. Weird time that we live in. I feel like everybody is putting out a car. Dyson, the vacuum company. They put out a car. They're working on one. Sony are working on a car.

All electric cars. Electric cars, yeah. Well, Dyson, it's pretty easy for them. They've got the technology in their vacuum cleaners. You're going to be able to take the battery out of the vacuum and just whack it in the car. Problem is your car will go flat before you drive it all the way around the house.

That is the issue. Yeah, but they're working on that. They're working on that. Yeah, they are working. Who else is doing a car? Apple. Apple are working on a car. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who else is doing a car? Someone you... Oh, Apple. Apple are working on a car. Yeah.

It seems like a thing to do. And now Kanye West is making a car. Of course he is. Of course he is. Is it going to be called the Yeezy? No, it's not going to be called the Yeezy. It's called the Donda foam car. Oh.

There's only one drawing of it so far. Here it is. That's the car. Right, okay. It looks very Batman forever futuristic. Doesn't it? The image says Donda foam car. Conceptualised. Designed. Manufactured in the United States. Amen. Oh God. It doesn't have any windows. It doesn't have any windows? It's got a windscreen and a little window on the driver's side.

But other than that, there are no windows in the Donda car. Oh, I don't know about that, Kanye. I just think so. No, it's a hard thing to say. I was going to say stay in your lane. But that's a bad car pun and also unfair. Because people told him to stay in his lane when he got into fashion. And look where it's –

And look at him now, you know. There's rumours that Kanye's car is going to be made by Tesla. It does look very Tesla-like. He's good friends with Elon Musk. Obviously, you can't just start making cars. You have to have like a manufacturing plant. You have to know how to make a car. So I don't know.

I don't know where it's going to go. I don't know that I'd drive a Kanye car. I just don't know if it's... Yeah, I'm not like... You're putting your life inside. It's different to wearing a pair of Yeezys on a rainy day. There's real serious safety implications when it comes to a car, right? Do you think Kanye's car is going to have, like, you know,

all the latest technology and all the futuristic stuff? Because if it's a self-driving car and Kanye West, who hasn't really, I mean, let's be real, he hasn't made a car before, brings out a self-driving car. Yeah. No, I think I might go with a Toyota still. I reckon I'd stick to something. I might get the signature class or something like that. Yeah. No, I think I might go with a Toyota still. I reckon I'd stick to something. I might get the signature class

or something like that. Yeah. It's just a risk, but I mean, good on him, I reckon. Give it a go. Hey, you gotta give stuff a go. He does like cars.

He owns a lot of cars. Surely you don't call it the Don DeFoam car though. Surely you call it the Kanye. Surely it's... The Kanye. Surely it's called a Kanye. Yeah, way better.

C-A-R-N-Y-E. The Kanye. Kanye. Yeah. Anyway, these are all ideas. If you're interested, Kanye, let's talk. Everything's up for grabs for the right price. You know, there's weirder things that would happen if Kanye emails you.

Hey, it's Kanye. That car name, great idea. Can I have it? How much do you want for it? I'm going to do a marathon. This is a shock to me. What, you think I couldn't do a marathon? I think you would have no desire to do a marathon.

I've never done a marathon. What I know of marathons is 50%, maybe 75% mental, psychological, which means you have to want to do a marathon, and I can't think of anything you want to do less. You're 100% mental, psychological, which means you have to want to do a marathon. And I can't think of anything you want to do less. I've never. You're 100% spot on. You know me too well. Someone on the text machine said, yeah, maybe a running movie marathon.

Maybe a buffet marathon. Oh, my God. Keen. I'm so keen. 42 buffets. Yeah, I'd be so keen for that. Genuinely, though, this could be the marathon, not only for me, but I feel like you'd be keen too.

Okay, talk to me. I saw this advertised and I don't think it's a brand new concept. I think they've been going for maybe a couple of years or so. Yeah. But it's over in Aussie and Clint, it's a beer marathon. How does a beer marathon work? So essentially, it's only five kilometres, which I mean is achievable.

I guess you wouldn't really call that a marathon, would you? Five kilometres of running. So five kilometres of running. It consists of five stops along the way at some of Australia's best breweries. Right, okay. So, I mean, it's kind of like a running pub crawl. Pub crawl, yeah. Really scenic, really spread out pub crawl.

I mean, I'm so keen. You stagger from pub to pub and they're about 150, 200 metres max apart. Yes. Like you do at Ponsonby Road or the Strip in Christchurch kind of thing. But this one, there's a K between each one, basically. So there's some actual running in between. Okay, alright. So you'd have your exercise gear on, put my tights on, keen to

go to a few breweries in my tights and my exercise gear because it's comfortable. Yeah. And it's about to go down. How many beers do you consume at each stop? So I looked into that. I think it's up to go down in Aussie. How many beers do you consume at each stop? So I looked into that. I think it's up to the runners. Right, yeah.

You know, you make your own choices. One at the first one, two at the second one, three at the fourth one, so on and so forth. And then a vomit between the fourth and fifth one. And tickets will set you back about $55 Australian per person. Yeah. But that includes a beer at each brewery. Okay, that's all right.

So you get one beer. So I was going to say I can run to different pubs for free. What are you charging me for? But that's a little bit different. Yeah, right. So you get a beer at each place. And it sounds like my type of marathon. I'd be keen for that as well.

They're going to get in legal trouble though with the term marathon. This is not a marathon. It's five kilometres. It's a beer fun run. Mate, why are you taking this away from me? It's not a marathon. Finally a marathon. It's not a marathon.

A marathon would be 42 pubs. Well, see, that's not safe. Well, it depends what you're having at each pub. What if you're just having a little... Chicken parmigiana at one. Bowling fries at the end. Yeah, exactly. Doja Cat in Vegas.

That's the song we're going to be taking on for Friday Oki tomorrow. Can't wait. I still am obsessed with that song. We get the lyrics printed out for us when we do our Friday Oki covers of those songs. Yeah, you don't really realise what Doja's saying. What is she talking about in that song? Just a whole lot of words. What, you've never been corseted? Yeah.

Come on now. Whose ass got burned in Abu Dhabi? You've never been valeted? I got into a heated argument. Well, conversation with my wife Lucy last night. We were on the couch, we were watching Love Island. And recently you and I have been catching quite a few flights

and the weather's been quite inclement. And what that's done for me, Brie, is it's given me quite dry lips. Yeah, it's the weather, it's the cold. Yeah, and the air conditioning. And the air conditioning, all of that stuff. I don't usually get dry lips, ever. Like I'll get them once every couple of years. Wait, you get them once every couple of years. And when I get it.

Wait, you get them once every couple of years? Yeah, yeah. And when I do, it's really uncomfortable, as you know. It's one of the worst things in the world to me. Like I remember when I used to play a lot of sport, like wind burnt, sun burnt, chat lips are so painful. Because licking them does nothing. It makes it worse.

Makes it way worse. Because of that, because I never get them, I don't own lip balm. So I need to go and each time they get sore, I need to go and get something. And you never use a whole tube of lip balm, but I never store it. I carry lip balm with me 24-7.

You've got chapstick in your pocket right now. I've always got it on me. Anyway, I bought some for this recent bout of lip issues. Do we have matching? No, I got this one that people are raving about at the moment. Oh, okay. I went to the chemist. She's like, everybody is buying this.

This Dermal one. Hashtag not sponsored. See, I don't sway. I'm a chapstick girl. You're brand loyal. I will get behind it. I think it's the best. That's because you use it all the time.

Yeah. Okay. So Lucy said to me last night, she said, oh, how's that new lip balm going? I got some too. It's amazing. And I said to her, oh, no, new lip balm going I got some too it's amazing and I said to her oh no my lip dryness is sorted now I don't I'm not using it I didn't actually didn't open it I don't need to use it so you never even used it no I never used it because my lips stopped being dry and she

said well that doesn't mean that you can't use it you can still use it. It'd still be nice to use. And I said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's how they get you. I don't have dry lips, but if I start using lip balm, my lips are going to start to need the moisture that the lip balm is giving me. And then I'll become a lip balm person. And then I'll have to use lip balm every day. Whereas now I have naturally moistening lips

that don't require any balming. Those juicy, moist lips of yours. Why would I mess with this? And she had this blank look on her face and she goes, that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. And then I may have taken it one step too far and I said, no, it's not stupid. You're stupid.

Is that what you didn't say there? No, no, no. But my argument was, it's not stupid. It's like that time I started using moisturiser and now I have to use moisturiser every day. Okay, now you're stupid. You're actually stupid. She said to me.

That's the dumbest thing you've said on this show. She said to me, you need moisturiser because you're getting old, okay? Savage. And she's not wrong. Like, as you get older. Yeah, yeah. And we should have been using it years ago.

I retracted my moisturiser statement. That's a dumb comment, that one. I won't retract my lip balm statement. I believe lip balm is a conspiracy, and you don't need it every day, but people who have been using it every day, they need it every day, and I don't want to fall into that trap. Look, I think there's an underlying thing that's going on here. Right.

And look, maybe your wife Lucy doesn't want to tell you that when she kisses you, your lips are chapped. They're horrible to her. They feel real dry. And maybe this was her way of subtly being like, just because they don't feel dry to you, they feel like a dry ass. Cat's ass.

Cat's ass to me. I've got to admit, when I kiss her and she has lip balm on, I quite enjoy ass. Cat's ass. Cat's ass to me. I got to admit when I kiss her and she has lip balm on, I quite enjoy it. It's nice. Well, I get to take some onto my lips in that situation. It's like a little transfer. Yeah. Which she hates.

That's a good time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. I just wanted a second opinion on whether my, I don't know that I'm going to be swayed from this. I don't need another product in my life.

I don't need another responsibility. But 9696, do you agree with me that lip balm is a scam? That's all I'm asking. Mate, I think, I hate to say it, but you sound stupid. I agree with Lucy. Where did you meet your partner? I mean, there's the standard ways, dating apps, bar. Friend of a friend.

Friend of a friend. Your mum sets you up. Work. Work. These are the Kiwi classics. This is how we usually meet. Dog park. Oh, yeah, okay.

Dog park's a good one. Dog park's a bit jazzier, I think. You reckon? Well, it's a little bit more serendipitous. Great place to meet someone. I meet so many great people at the dog park, can I say. That's why you've got so many relationships on the go. It's a great community.

And it's hard to keep up with all of them, you know, texting everyone. I can't meet tonight. But this woman, you would never guess how she met her now husband. I'm trying to think. You're saying it's a strange way. I think it's pretty strange. Did she operate on him? Oh, that would be great.

Is she his cardiothoracic surgeon? No, but that would be a great story. Okay. The woman's name is Erica Sanders, and she's an estate agent, and she's from Texas. And she heard about this guy named Austin when a friend put them in touch

as Austin needed to sort out some accommodation for when he was released from prison. Oh. Right? He needed somewhere to be paroled to? Well, I think he just needed somewhere to live, somewhere to go. I think you need a fixed address to be released. Interesting.

Yeah. So he was trying to find a place to live. And anyway, this friend of Erica put them in touch and they talked for a number of months, I believe seven months, where she was helping him out and found him a place and also started dating him. And now seven months later, they're married.

I wonder if that's against the property manager code of conduct. Like, are you allowed to... Don't date your clients. Don't date your clients, Don't date the tenants. You know? Because then your tenant's going to start going, repeatedly they'll go, oh, hey, there's a problem with the pipes.

I need you to come round and check the pipes. Yeah, come check my pipes. I mean, the pipes. The pipes. Have you ever dated a landlord? No, but I know that you are. Oh, yeah, I'm currently dating my landlord. You're in a relationship with your landlord.

Yeah, rent's cheaper. Your partner owns the house that you live in. Oh, well, you ruined it. People thought I was like saucy and I was like dating my landlord. Well, I didn't say what order it came in. Yeah, true. Yeah. Technically, you are in a...

My rent's gone way down. You're in a landlord-tenant relationship. Yeah, it does get awkward when I call her. Miss a payment? Yeah, about the dishwasher not working. What was the interesting way you met your partner? Because a woman has met her now husband when she was looking for accommodation for him

when he got out of prison. Unusual way to meet your partner. I reckon that now they're together, she's moved him into her house. But, I mean, if she left nice properties, she should be happy to go into... Job done. Found him accommodation in my bed.

So we're asking you this afternoon, this morning on 0800DIALS at M, how'd you meet your partner? Sheila's here. Kia ora, Sheila. Hi, Sheila. Hello. Hello.

How are you all? Good, thank you, Sheila. Did you meet your partner in an unusual way? Yeah. I just recently split up with my ex-husband, and a friend of mine lived next door to a sailor. He was going away on deployment, and she said get somebody to write to, to me.

I didn't know anything about it until I received a letter. So we were pen pals for eight months. Been together ever since. And we've been married nearly 25 years. Oh my God. Oh my God. I love this story. So can I check, Sheila,

you got the chance to meet your partner before they sailed away? Is that right? And you said, oh, yeah, I'll write to you. No, I think he'd already sailed. They were in Dubai or somewhere exotic. That ship had sailed. Yeah, got a letter.

So, Sheila, you fell in love through letters. Yeah. I mean, to be fair, he was a sailor. He was trying to get me to write things that weren't quite PC. 25 years ago, he wanted you to go to the one-hour Photoshop and print out some raunchy pics to put on the letter. He was probably like, can you draw me a raunchy cartoon, Sheila? That'd be great.

Someone on the text machine said, I met my now husband in the supermarket checkout line. He was behind me and a new lane opened. He offered for me to go first. It resulted in coffee and seven years later, happily married. Isn't that incredible? I love it. Some people, you have to pounce on that moment though. Because if you don't, if you just let it pass by,

then nothing is ever going to happen. You'll never see them again. But he showed that he had good manners. So obviously she was like, oh, he's all right. Someone texted us and said, we met walking opposite ways down the main street of Mount Maunganui. I was out for a friend's birthday and he had come over for a boys weekend.

We had a drink and swapped numbers. But it was six weeks before our first real date. We've been together for three years and we've bought a house together already. So just walking past someone. Just walking past each other on the street. God, you've got to have good game if you see someone walking past on the street. And balls as well.

Like you've got to really, wow, okay. Natasha's here. Hi, Natasha. Hi, Natasha. Yada. Tell us, did you meet your partner in an unusual way? I did. Well, it kind of doesn't feel unusual,

but I met him on a marae at a high school talent show. We were at different high schools and we met on a marae. Natasha, were you both competing in the talent show? We were. Cute. What were the talents? Yeah, what was your talent? He was a dancer and I was a singer.

I was a singer, yeah. Match made in heaven. Match made in heaven. Yeah, I know. Can I ask, did you guys meet up in the mattress room of the marae later on? Well, we did talk all night, probably keeping everyone up on our mattresses in the marae. Cute, Natasha. How long have you guys been together?

We've been together for three years, but this was like 15 years ago almost. Oh, so you made the connection and then you ended up together way later on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now we have a house together. How did you reconnect? Well, he just messaged me one time. Cute. Slid in the DMs.

Cute. Okay, Natasha, that's cute. This is my favourite one. This is so unusual. What was the weird way you met your partner? They said, I met my partner through a ticket resale page on Facebook. He recognised me from Tinder and asked me on a date when I bought his ticket. None of these tips are usable, eh?

People are like, okay, I'm looking for some tips on how to meet someone. I'll start hitting on people in Facebook Marketplace. Yeah, right? Well, what about this one? Someone else said, I met my wife at the arrival gates at the airport. What, like love actually? Well, they wouldn't have known each other.

They just would have met, maybe waiting for family. Other people. Yeah. Jess is here. Hi, Jess. Hi, Jess. Hi. You meet your partner in an unusual way?

Well, you could say that. I was travelling with you in a camper van and the camper van broke down and he was the salvage truck driver. Cute. Jess, this sounds like a type of film that you would watch on the internet. No, right?

Jess is like, I feel like I've heard this plot line before. He literally rescued you though from the side of the road. Yes, he did. And this is seven and a half years ago. And we're getting married in three weeks' time. Oh, amazing. Congrats to you and your partner, Jess.

I think this is my favourite one that's come in. We've asked, did you meet your partner in an unusual way? I think I've seen the text you're talking about. They said, I rejected my wife from a bar for using a fake ID. Jeez, if I met partners in that way, I would literally have a million partners. Brie and Clint. Once upon a time, there was a girl.

She was smart, debatable, talented, eh, athletic. Not really, but picking a movie title based on just the plotline That she can do Brie and Clint's What's The Plot $300 is our jackpotted amount that we're playing for this morning All you gotta do is correctly guess two movies Based off the plotlines that I read before Brie does I feel like there's more pressure on me this morning

because I don't want to embarrass myself. Well, you're on the big stage. In this time slot. Yeah. You know? Yeah, people don't know that you're good at this game. If this is the first time they've ever heard What's the Plot, they could think you're some kind of idiot

when actually you've got quite a good track record, but you've never taken on Hayley from Palmy. Morning, Hayley. G'day, Hayley. Good morning. Good morning. I know how good you are. Oh, thank you, Hayley. I'm really nervous. Nah, mate. Just relax. And my best bit of advice is just buzz in and give it a go. What's

the worst that could happen? I could lose $300. That is the worst that could happen. You're right. Just guess every movie under the sun. That's what I do. Okay, here comes your theme, everybody. Seeing as we are down two producers and people here at ZM are dropping like flies, we are doing movies about illness.

Okay. Sickness. Virus. Things that affect you in that way make you sick. I am legend. Well, that could be one of them. Exactly right. I hope so.

Love that film. Exactly right. I hope so. Love that film. Exactly right. I've sent producer Donks the task of collecting our illness-based movies. And here we go. Don't wait for me to finish the plot line before you buzz in and give it a go. Okay, Hayley, just jump in as soon as you think you know what it is. Okay, yeah. You buzz in your name.

Here we go. This is your first movie for What's the Plot this morning. A group of misguided animal rights activists free a caged chimp infected with the rage. Yes, Brie. Planet of the Apes. Planet of the Apes is incorrect. Hayley.

Hayley. Hayley. I know what it is, but I don't know what it's called. It's a free guess, this one. If you get it wrong, I'll just keep on going with the plot. What's a chimp? I'll give you three seconds. I don't know.

I'll carry on. They release a chimp infected with the rage virus from a medical research lab. When London bike courier Jim wakes up from a coma a month later, he finds his city all but deserted, on the run from zombie-like victims of... Bree. Oh, it's not that, though. Zombie-like people.

What's the name of that movie with Brad Pitt? Nah, you'll have to buzz me out. Give you one more guess, Hayley, and then we'll abandon this one. Is it... It's not Where Would They. That's what I thought too, Hayley. That was a brand-pat one. No, this was 28 Days Later.

Oh, yeah. I've never seen it. Okay. I don't think I've seen it either, Hayley. Let's just forget about that one. Let's forget about that one. Here we go. Here comes movie plot number two.

When Beth returns from a business trip, she attributes the sickness she feels to jet lag. However, toate Brie. Contagion. Contagion. Come on. Take a break. Contagion is correct.

That movie terrifies me, by the way. Especially post-Global Panini. And now we're living in it. Yeah. Was it Gwyneth Paltrow? Was that Contagion? I think so, yeah. Gwyneth Paltrow? Was that... I think so, yeah. Gwyneth Paltrow, yeah.

Okay, next one. Will not be I Am Legend, seeing as Brie ruined that one. Oh, is that in there? We'll go to movie number three. When a mysterious force decimates the population, only one thing is certain. If you see it, you die.

Brie. Brie. If you see it, you die. Iie. Brie. If you see it, you die. I know this one. Bird Box? Bird Box. The Netflix one starring Sandra Bullock. Bird Box is correct. Yes! And that is the victory.

So sorry, Hayley. No, that's fine. You well deserve that one. You seem like a lovely person. We'll get you a prize, hey? We'll get you something, okay, Hayley. Hayley. No, that's fine. You seem like a lovely person. We'll get you a prize, hey? Yeah, wait there. We'll get you something, okay, Hayley? It won't be $300 cash. Oh, thank you so much.

We'll find you something. We'll find you something. Oh, it's going to be nothing. Thank you. Have a good morning, Hayley. Kiwi Queens will compete in Season 2 of RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under, and the full line-up has just been released. We're very excited to have Kiwi Queen extraordinaire

Spanky Jackson on the show this morning. Hi, Spanky. Hey, Spanky. Good morning, New Zealand. Oh, my God, Spanky. What a massive morning for you. Finally, the secret is out. You're on the show, The biggest drag stage in the world

How are you feeling? Oh it's epic hey Like I It has been a long road To get to this point So I'm grateful that it's finally all out But I'm super excited Did you audition for season one?

Did you try and get on the first RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under? Yeah I did But I was unfortunately kicked out I was just too beautiful for them, unfortunately. Too beautiful. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the beautiful queen season, so you're on the right one, Spanky.

Spanky. I know, thank goodness. You're a Kiwi queen. You're from Palmerston North, correct? Yes, that is. And I'm freezing down here this morning, so that's keeping me cute. I've got to ask, what is the drag scene in Palmerston North like? It wasn't, like, really existent.

Like, I grew up here, obviously, and then I moved to Australia. And then when I came back, there seems to be a lot more kind of regular drag happening here, which is, I know, it's baffling, but... In Parmy, there's regular drag in Parmy now. I know. I know. Blue Bull's drag race has taken over the world. It's everywhere.

Hey, Spanky, I need to ask, because obviously last season, Keita Mean, the Kiwi Queen, took it out. Do you feel like there's more pressure on the Kiwi Queens this season? Because, you know, last season on the Kiwi queens this season? Because, you know, last season a Kiwi did take it out. Oh, absolutely no pressure. I mean, it's anybody's game and, you know, you just have to apply yourself and do the best that you can.

So I just hope to live up and take another crown. That would be amazing. With all due respect, I reckon you're wrong, Spanky. I reckon those Australian queens are salty AF. I reckon they are baying for Kiwi blood. They're going to go, what do those backward Kiwi queens know about drag? I live in Sydney, baby.

I hang out in King's Cross. How am I going to lose to a New Zealander? First the blood is low, now this? We can't take it anymore. I know. I mean, anything to do with balls is always good. I like that, Spanky. My last question for you.

I know how much costumes cost on these shows and how much you guys put into your drag. What do you think is the most expensive outfit you took to the show this season? Oh, look, girl, that's a big question. We all spend an awful lot of money. So, yeah, anything from three grand upwards. Wow. Three grand upwards?

You're kidding. Yeah. All right, well, we're excited to see it. I know. You have to look amazing. You have to. Like Bree said, it's the biggest drag stage in the world. You need to win even more now, Spanky, to pay for your outfits.

I'm already doing that. There it is. now, Spanky, to pay for your outfits. I'm already doing that. There it is. That's Spanky Jackson, Kiwi Queen, star of RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under Season 2. It premieres on TVNZ Plus on July 30, which is not far away at all. Good luck, Spanky. We're rooting for you. See you, mate.

Thank you so much. And thank you, New Zealand. I hope to do us all proud. Thank you. Bree and Clint. The there are 10 but phenomenon is taking over social media. It's where you give them a hotness rating, but then you give it a qualifying factor,

which might make them hotter or colder. Colder. Yeah, let's say that. Like this. He's a 10, but he calls his parents mummy and daddy. Oh, six. He's a nine, but he calls his parents mummy and daddy. Oh, six. He's a nine, but he can play the flute with his butt. No, it's kind of impressive.

Like it's a party trick. Ten. Such a random one. Very subjective. I feel like you'd be into butt flute, guy. I feel like that's right up your alley. Yeah, I've met him before, actually. We asked you guys to text us yours

in, your Zara 10s, and we're going to attempt to answer them together. We've had so many of these come through, like this one, Bree. He's a 10, but he doesn't run a top sheet on his bed. Oh, so wait, there's bottom sheet, top sheet. I don't run a top sheet. Really? So 10. 10? Match made in heaven.

Oh, okay. You run a top sheet, don't you? I do run a top sheet. I don't care about betting enough for it to impact somebody's hotness. So, ten. Yeah, good. Good. There are ten, but they don't like dogs. Three.

Like, actively don't like dogs. One. Hmm. Yeah. It wouldn't work. Like, I'm just saying. Yeah. Me, personally, not for me.

I don't have a dog. Don't need a dog. 10. 10? That wouldn't impact you at all. It literally has no impact on my life. Why would I care? It doesn't impact me at all.

Dylan's here with one for us. Hi, Dylan. G'day, Dylan. Dylan, are you there? Yeah, can you hear me? Yeah, we can hear you now. There you go. What is it?

Give it to us. How's it going? Good, thank you, Dylan. I'm excited to hear you're there at 10. What have you got? They're at 10, but they can't decide what to have for dinner. That's a great one. Wait, Dylan, have you called in to complain passively, aggressively about your partner?

Oh, it feels very close to home, Dylan. Better pass it. It was like maybe somebody. Don't throw me under the bus like that. Why don't you answer it for us then, Dylan? They're a 10, but they can't decide

what to have for dinner. Well, I'm really a foodie, so they'll probably drop me down to about a three. A three? Oh, we'll drop that far. Answer me this one.

They're a 10, but they call a radio station and passively, aggressively talk about me. Love it, Dylan. Oh, low blow. Thank you very much. We appreciate that.

Some of the hottest girls in the world can't decide what to have for dinner. It's not just girls. There's so many people that can't decide. No, it's not a guy thing. You don't reckon? It's not a guy thing. Okay, what do you want to have for dinner? Go.

Burger fuel. Okay, ask me. It's closed. Try me again. Ask me. What do you want to have for dinner? Pasta. fuel. Okay, ask me. It's closed. Try me again. What do you want to have for dinner? Pasta. It's easy. Simple. What about this one?

There are ten, but after every joke, they always make a boom-tish sound. Negative two. No, that's cringe. That's cringe. There are ten, but they don't wipe down their equipment in the gym after using it. That's a good They're 10 but they don't wipe down their equipment in the gym after using it. That's a good one. Seven.

Only that much? Depends how sweaty they are. It really depends how sweaty they are. Some people don't sweat all that much. He's a 10 but he lives in a pineapple under the sea. Hey, come on. Hey, wait. I think SpongeBob SquarePants is pretty hot. What about they're a 10 but they never wear socks ever.

Do they live in boat shoes or regular shoes? What about They're a 10 But they never wear socks Ever Oh Do they live in boat shoes Or regular shoes It doesn't Any type of shoes They're wearing But they're a 10 They're a 10

So their feet Would have to stink Six Really Six or seven Six or seven Yeah I reckon about a seven Yeah

Ladies shoes are different though You guys hardly wear socks anyway What You don't wear socks In high heels do you What How do high heels work don't wear socks and high heels, do you? What? How do high heels work? I always wear socks and high heels.

It's more comfy. You never wear high heels. Yeah, because I'm smart. They hurt. They're a 10, but they scratch their private parts and sniff their fingers afterwards. Oh, that's a minus 5. That's a minus 5.

What about they're a 10, but they only eat foods that are beige or grey in colour? Oh, Bachelor Life. And they were a ten? They're a ten. Like they only eat that. They don't eat anything else. And we have to eat together?

Yeah. Ah, sucks. Oh, yeah. I'd probably go five. Yeah. They're a solid ten, but they follow up work emails with a team message saying, did you see my email? Hi, did you see my email?

That person's classified them as a soft two. Soft two. What about they're a four, but they own a flock of miniature ponies. 15. King. Is that the collective noun for miniature ponies? Are they a flop? I just made it up.

There are seven, but they like mayonnaise on their peanut butter and jelly. Weird, but it wouldn't change my opinion. Still a 10. Again, so long as I don't have to eat it, right? Yeah. That's fine. Go for it. Bree and Clint.

It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Bree and Clint's birthday band. People that stand up as soon as the seatbelt sign goes off Sit down Just wait Just get off when your seat is next Yeah Yeah

Makes sense Hey, this is Birthday Banger We do this every afternoon on our show at around 5.30 You call us up, you give us your birthday And we figure out what was the song that was number one on your 16th And then we play our favourite one in full. Morning to Gerry. Welcome to the show.

G'day, Gerry. G's are. K for Kilo. Oh, there you are. What did you say? K for Kilo. Kiri. Kiri.

Oh, Kiri. Sorry. Kiri. Kiri. Sorry, Kisar. How you going, mate? Having a good morning? You're our fan in our house.

We've got three daughters. They love you. Oh, what are your daughters' names? Hi, I'm Jordan. G'day, mate. Have you had a good morning? Hey, Brie, you're our fan in our house. We've got three daughters. They love you. Oh, what are your daughters' names? Hi, I'm Jordan. G'day, Jordan. I'm Kiana. G'day, Kiana. And the other one's shy.

Oh, what's the last one's name? Noemi. Oh, amazing. Oh, lovely to meet you guys. I'm excited to do your dad's birthday bang. What's your birthday, Kerry? So it's the 28th of October, 1976. All right. I'm hoping for a good one for you, Kerry.

You were 16 in 1992. And here it is, mate. Banger. Oh, Kerry. Do you like it? Not bad. Do the girls know Billy Ray Cyrus, Kerry? No. No?

The dad of Miley Cyrus. That's how old he is. He's Miley Cyrus' dad. Yeah, okay, wait there, Kerry. That's a good one. Not bad, mate. Not bad. Andy's here. G'day, Andy. Good morning wait there, Kerry. That's a good one. Not bad, mate. Not bad. Thank you.

Andy's here. G'day, Andy. Good morning. Hello, Andy. Good morning. How are you? Good, thank you. That's good, Andy.

What's your birthday? 18th of September, 1985. All right, that means you were 16 in 2001, and on your 16th birthday, this would have been at number one. Where you walk, where you move been at number one. Jennifer Lopez. And Ja Rule, I think. Yeah.

It's I'm Real. Do you like it, Andy? I like the other one better. Yeah, okay. You like Hakey Breakey Heart. Yeah, me too. I love that J-Lo song, though. It's nice.

Yeah, it's a nice, relaxing song. Is it enough to win, though? We'll go to Emma for one more birthday banger. Morning to Emma. Hello, Emma. Hi, morning. How's your week been, mate? Pretty good.

I'm just waiting on the school holidays. Two more days to go. Two days to go. Not long now, Emma, not long. Well, let's get you there. What's your birthday? 22nd of March, 1992. All right.

That means you were 16 in 2008. And Emma, this is your birthday banger. Banger. Banger. Come on, Emma. You've got to love this one from Kanye and Estelle. I don't know. I think I like Andy's better.

Oh, you like Andy's. Okay. Everyone likes each other. Yeah, right. Okay. No, fair enough. Fair enough. You can only like what you like.

I know what I want to win. Yeah, me too. Do you reckon we're on the same page? No, I don't think we are. Yeah, I don't think we are either. Three, two, one. American boy. It's a breaking heart. Yeah.

I've got to go with Carrie and my girls. We've got to go to a split decision in these situations. All the power goes to our producer, Sous Chef Sam. You can choose from all three songs. Your pick is final. Is it J-Lo, Billy Ray Cyrus, or Estelle and Kanye West, Sam? It's got to be Estelle and Kanye West this morning. Still a bop.

Love it. Emma, congratulations. You just won birthday banger. Emma's like, can we play J-Lo's instead? Yeah.