ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast - 8th May 2023

Episode Date: May 8, 2023

Bree's milk challenge and charity walk Misheard coronation audio Man rescued from the woods How many languages do you speak? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Hello everybody, welcome to a very milky Brie and Clint podcast. Oh, the first half's not that milky. No. The back end though. I put the milk pretty early, so. Oh, did you? The whole thing's a bit milky.

Oh, she's a bit milky. Brie's on a journey. You'll hear it in the podcast. You'll hear it. Do you reckon you could hear my, hold on, wait. She's going to put the mic to her stomach. Nah, not really. I feel like I'm doing an ultrasound. Here's the

heartbeat. It just breathes digestinal tract. I feel violently ill. People who have listened to this show for a while know that I'm lactose intolerant. Yeah, which you've played fast and loose with the whole time that I've known you. Yes, I have because I joke about it and I do

you know. Love cheese. Love cheese. High risk, high reward. High risk, high reward. But no, when I say I'm lactose intolerant, I'm not just saying it to say it. I say it for attention sometimes. Do you? Someone texted us and said there's a thing you can get called lactate. Lactase.

Or lactase. Is that what it is? I hope they're not called lactate. And then the pills that you can Lactase Lactase tablets They're called lactase Also lactaid I think in America

Lactase, I know the tablets Because you take them, it's either before or after And it helps people who have lactose intolerances To break down the enzymes Yeah Why don't you just take some of those? Oh, I've tried them. Yeah.

Like, I think for some people they work. Yeah. For me, I didn't see that many results. Yeah, right. But, I mean, I should have seen. Also, you weren't expecting to drink two litres of milk when you came to work today. It wasn't on my list of things to do today. No.

And that's how life can surprise you. That's the fun journey of life. That is. You know, it twists and turns around every corner. What did Forrest Gump say? Life is like a box of chocolates and I'm lactose intolerant, so I might shit my pants. Yep.

Life is about twists and turns. Like on the way home, I could shit my pants. You could twist and turn into a service station to use the bathroom at pace. Oh, I've done that before. That's the worst feeling. Is it one of those ones where you need to go get the key on the big lanyard? Isn't it? Have you guys?

Oh, it's the worst feeling if you're in the car and you really need to use a bathroom. What about those places that have the shame key and it's on that enormous ring with a piece of wood stuck to it? So you don't. Who's stealing a bathroom key? No one. Yeah, weird. You have to walk through the service station with the shame key and around the back.

Any service station that still has the toilet around the back, creepy. Sus. Weird. Creepy. You know, in Australia, very common that, like, a set of shops, like cafes or restaurants or, like, if they're all, like, in together, they'll share a bathroom. Oh, yeah. So they give you, and it's so weird saying, like, what they put on the key so that people

don't lose it. Like I remember I went to this restaurant once in Brisbane and I went to ask for the key and a whole entire cat, you know the cat where the paw moves? Oh, those wavy cats. Yes, they put this whole cat on the key. I was like, where the hell's the key? Just want to mess with people. It'd be a funny video to make

where you just attach the worst things to it. Give them like a live cat attached to the key. You're like, this is so we don't lose it. It's got a, bring the key back.

The cat's got a bell on it so we don't lose the keys. Don't take the cat. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to Perth tomorrow. So I am not going to be on the podcast for the rest of the week. I've never been to Perth.

I think the only places in Australia I've ever been are Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne. Oh, yeah? What are your favourites out of the three? Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne. Oh, yeah. Do I have a preference between Brisbane and – Yeah, I prefer Brisbane because it's warmer than Melbourne. It is warmer.

I like them all, though. I like them all. I. I like them all. I think I've only been really drunk each time I've been to each of them. Oh, no, I went a couple of times on footy trips to the Gold Coast when I was a kid. Oh, yeah, you've been to the Gold Coast.

Yeah. Is that not Brisbane? No. What? Totally different place. Is it? Huh. Who knew?

How far? Do you guys think Brisbane and Gold Coast is the same place? Yeah I thought Brisbane was the Gold Coast is probably Is it the Brisbane It's the Gold Coast Do I fly into the Brisbane airport? Yeah Brisbane has an airport

And the Gold Coast has an airport Oh shit Oh Coolingatta Coolingatta airport Yeah Yeah Australia's so big man Depending on where you are in Brisbane

Hour and a half Oh yeah Two hours Jeez it's like Auckland to Hamilton Yeah it's Yeah pretty much the same Yeah. Australia's so big, man. Depending on where you are in Brisbane, hour and a half. Oh, yeah. Two hours. Jeez, it's like Auckland to Hamilton. Yeah, it's pretty much the same. It's like North Auckland to South Auckland. Gold Coast is ages away from Brisbane. Well, some people might not say that, but it's a completely different place.

Well, I forgot to include that one then. Yeah, Gold Coast. Love Gold Coast. How far away is Perth? Seven and a half hour flight. Perth. So you know how you got Australia Seven and a half hour flight. Perth. So you know how you got Australia and then obviously there's like Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne. Perth is like all the way on the other complete different side of the country.

Just a little trip. That's where all the miners live, eh? Yeah, a lot of fly in, fly out, big mining places over in Western Australia. There's dolphins everywhere. I'd assume there would be. There's dolphins anywhere there's water, isn't there? Nah, bro. No?

No dolphins in lakes. Okay. I think there is freshwater dolphins. Is there? I believe there is freshwater dolphins. The old lake dolphins, they'll get you. The old lake dolphins, they're aggressive. Are you thinking of crocodiles?

Our friend Matty is going to be doing the show with Brie for the rest of the week. I'm going to make him drink two litres of milk tomorrow to raise money. He'd do it too. What about orange juice? He'd do it if you told him it was a challenge. Yeah, because he's so competitive.

If you say to him, Sam Wallace drank this two litres of milk or Barbara Kendall drank three litres of milk, he'll drink five. And he'll die in the process, but he will do it. He's one of the most competitive people I've ever met. It's crazy, eh? He's so competitive. He gets that look in his eye and he just can't concentrate

on anything other than winning. He's like, I need to win. We love Matty. So he's here for the rest of the week. I'll catch you guys back on Monday. Have fun. Thank you. Bye.

Enjoy the podcast. Pray for me. Pray for me. For my drive home, I will update you if I shit myself or not. Bye, guys. I'm coming in. Well, howdy, pilgrims. Zed and Brie and Clint Can I feel you?

Kia ora everybody, welcome to the Brie and Clint show for a brand new week. It'll be Monday everyone, good to be here for your Monday afternoon. We've got a lot of stuff to give away this afternoon, don't we? Fill me in Brie. Well first off, Fast 10 is coming Very fast approaching I can't wait for that. We're going to give away $1000 to celebrate At 4 o'clock

So be listening out for that Then we've also got KFC Chicken Dollars Up for grabs on the show today We're also going to be putting Someone in the draw To see Ed Sheeran Live in Vancouver There's only going to be 5 spots So we're going to be calling someone someone in the draw to see Ed Sheeran. Live in Vancouver. Yes.

Yeah. There's only going to be five spots, so we're going to be calling someone and putting them in the draw for that, so that's pretty bloody exciting. Someone who's registered for it at ZM Online, there's still time to go and do that. Yes. Bit of work on your behalf. You're going to have to call somebody that you know

and slip some Ed Sheeran lyrics casually into conversation, but you can do that. Well worth it for a spot at Flying to Vancouver to see Ed Sheeran live. Yeah, his brand new album's out. So we're going to do that after five o'clock this afternoon. We're going to kick off the show right now with $50 cash, all thanks to our friends at KFC with Tradie vs Lady. If you want to play for a Monday, 0800 dials at M is the number to call.

Every single question is about the coronation. You will have to write them. And the inner workings of the British royal family. Oh, can we not? I avoided it all weekend. And what the different military uniforms meant. He's lying. The questions will not be about that.

Maybe one. Bree and Clint. Time for Tradiverse Lady. He's lying. The questions will not be about that. Maybe one. Bree and Clint. Time for Tradie vs. Lady. Bree and Clint. Tradie vs. Lady. Here we are. Tradie vs. Lady for another week. Score update for everyone playing along at home.

The ladies on 40 wins for the year. The tradies had a bit of a bad week last week. They're sitting on 34 wins. Let's go to our lady first. She's calling from the capital. She's 31 years old, and according to her son, she makes cringeworthy TikToks. He would say that, though.

Welcome to the show, Emily. G'day. G'day, Emily. Go and give your TikTok a plug. To be honest, I deleted it because the kids made too much fun of me. Oh, Emily, you could have been famous. What were you doing on there that was so cringeworthy? Were you doing the dances?

No, I was talking to them and just trying to use their language, but just, you know, like try and come off natural. I like it. I think it's a good concept, Emily. I think it's strong. I think you need to start that TikTok account back up. They were just scared that you were going to get better at TikTok than them, I think. I think they's a good concept, Emily. I think it's strong. I think you need to start that TikTok account back up. They were just scared that you were going to get better at TikTok than them, I think. I think they were jealous.

I think they were probably jealous, actually. You're taking on our tradie today. They're from Taranaki. They're 27. They're an apprentice builder who screwed through the plumbing lines on Saturday morning. Oh, good stuff. Welcome to the show, Sam. Hey, how's it going?

Sam, how much did that cost you on the building slab of beers? Oh, a bit more than a slab. Probably more like 10. 10 cents on a Saturday as well. You would have had to get the plumber out of bed probably. Oh, shocker. They love that target rate. They love that one.

All right. Well, maybe we'll have more luck today. Your buzzer, Sam, is tradie. Emily, yours is lady. First to three correct answers gets $50 cash from KFC. Good luck. Here we go, guys. Question number one.

King Charles was coronated over the weekend. Is he King Charles I, II, or III? Lady. Yes, Emily. The III. It is the III. Nice work. Did you watch it?

No. That makes two of us, Emily. That makes two of us. Question number two, one is the third. Nice work. Did you watch it? No. That makes two of us, Emily. That makes two of us. Question number two, one to the ladies. What does a Scoville unit measure? Brady. Yes, Sam. Heat.

Can we give it to him? Oh, I'd give it to him. Yeah. Spiciness or heat. It's a heat spiciness measurement for chilli. Yeah, I'd give you that one. That's one apiece. Question number three.

Buzz in, guys, when you can tell me who sings this song. Lady. Yes, Emily. Oh, Emily. Oh, my God. Why am I having a red light? Iron Maiden. Oh, are you kidding?

That's not what we were looking for, Sam. You want to guess? I didn't even hear it. You know this song. Buzz in when you know. Lady, lady, lady. Yes, Emily. Queen.

Of course, it's Queen. It's Bohemian Rhapsody, guys. Come on. It's hard to hear down the phone line sometimes standing up for you guys. All right, two to the ladies, one to the tradies. Question number four. Sometimes the phones make it sound like Iron Maiden. Yeah, exactly.

More rock. I got flustered. All right, question number four. What is the only fruit that has its seeds on the outside? Brady. Yes, Sam? Strawberry. It is a strawberry.

Nice work. We're all tied up here. This is for the win. Question number five. Richie McCaw was at the coronation over the weekend. What is he famous for? Lady. Yes, Emily, just in first.

All Blacks. Yeah. That is correct. Well done. She's a lady. Oh, oh, oh, she's a lady. Emily's like, I think he was an Iron Maiden. Yeah.

He was the lead singer. Was he the singer? Emily, hopefully that wins you some brownie points with your kids. You won $50 cash. Nice work. Awesome. Thanks, guys. You're very welcome.

We're going to talk about this a little bit later in the show, but Bree is training for a big physical challenge at the moment. I am. I don't want to give too much away yet. We're going to talk about it after five o'clock. It's for a good cause. It is for charity. But you're going to push yourself physically.

Probably the most I've pushed myself since I was like 20. Yeah. Like I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it. She's been down on the ground stretching out her limbs. She's in pain at the moment which is why this tweaked my interest today. It's a study from

Scotland's St Andrews University that says water is not the most hydrating beverage. I've been saying this for years. It's not. Beer is the way to go. It's not beer. I've been saying it for years.

But there is something commonly available that is more hydrating and would be more beneficial for you and anybody doing physical activity at the moment. Powerade. Yeah. They say Powerade or Gatorade is more hydrating. Powerade would be good. Or Gatorade. Yeah, electrolytes, that sort Gatorade is... Powerade would be good. More hydrating. Gatorade, some electrolytes, that sort of thing.

It's not that though. Okay? It's not that. What would it be then? Ginger ale? No, it's something with a bit of sugar in it. Okay. And something with a bit of fat or protein in it.

That keeps your body hydrated for longer and actually gets you hydrated faster as well. It metabolizes into your blood system faster than water can. So are you saying that you should be, like if you're playing sport or going for a run, you should be drinking this rather than water? Exactly right. The thing, the drink for you, the athletes. Protein.

You should be drinking milk. I'm lactose intolerant I know but you're training for a You're training for a big You're training for a big physical You're not going to make me drink that This here is a pint of milk That I think you should down

I've seen the way your body is at the moment You're stiff You need hydration in your joints So I think you need to drink that I think you need to drink it quickly. This will not make me unstiff. It'll make me constipated, which will make me more stiff. I feel like you're wrong and you should just trust me on this.

Honestly, I'm thinking of you because if I drink this pint of milk, you have to be with me in this enclosed box for the next two and a half hours. It's a risk I'm willing to take, okay? To see you in peak physical condition, that's a risk that I'm willing to take. I have not drunk a glass of milk in 15 years, I reckon. Do you need a bit of encouragement? Because we'd like to see you scull it if you can.

Guys, could you help me out here? Bree. Bree. Bree. Bree. I feel so peer pressured. Bree. Bree. Bree. I feel so peer pressured. Bree. Bree.

Not just some of it. All of it. All of it. Not just some of it. All of it. Bree. Not just some of it. All of it.

She's doing it. She's doing it, everybody. It's going down. How did she do that? It was really amazing. I feel sorry for all of you. A pint of milk. I'm going to have the worst spinny bum.

I thought we could give you an hour to finish the rest of the two litre bottle of milk as well. And really... And really... What do I get if I, okay. Yeah. Here's the deal. Okay, because in one hour we're going to reveal what your big physical challenge is.

Yes, yes. And if I. And you're raising money for charity, I reckon you should try and get this two litres of milk. Is it two litres? Yeah, this is two litres. Couldn't you have given me one litre, given me a chance? It's Dairydale.

It's Dairydale too. We couldn't even fork out for the good stuff. You know how I say I'm lactose intolerant? That's not a joke. Like, I actually am. I will be violent. Three minutes ago on this show, you asked me if I could set up a challenge where you ate a wheel of cheese.

Okay, so don't come at me with a lactose intolerant card. It's hard. It's a hard dairy. I will have violent, violent diarrhea. You made me eat a kilo and a half of burrito a month ago. I need to make this worth it for me. What do you want? Okay, this is what I want.

The challenge that I'm doing, which is for charity, if I can get that, oh, jeez, if I can get that down, how much do you reckon I should ask Clint to donate if I can get that down? At least $500. $500? I was going to say $100. It's me in the middle at $200.

$200. See, now I have to give it a crack. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it. Okay, I will donate $200 to the cause if you can drink two litres of milk. Oh, my God. That's $100 per litre. I'm going to be so sick. If you would like to text any words of encouragement to Bree,

I think she needs help. She's going for two litres of Blue Top, by the way. It's Blue Top milk. It's full cream. It's full fat. Full fat. That's how you get the full hydration out of the milk as well. Yeah, you need that.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Nine six, nine six. At least it's cold. I mean, that first glass went down easy. Get a bucket because, and I don't know which end it's going to come out. You've got 58 minutes. Brie and Clint.

If you're just joining us, Brie is two thirds of the way through a two litre bottle of Dairydale milk. It's a challenge given to her by me to get her ready for her big physical challenge, which we're going to talk about soon. The research says milk is more hydrating than water. Unless you're lactose intolerant, then you're going to be severely dehydrated when it gives you the run. You have to keep the milk coming in. I've had a text in here from somebody.

I asked for encouragement for Brie on the text machine, 9696, and someone said, my husband is a food scientist. And he said, my husband is a food scientist. And he said, milk is better than water. Yeah, that's correct. It is more hydrating for you. But Powerade and beer is even better than milk. Stop it. They said the study that Clint referenced was paid for by a milk company.

What the hell? Oh. But focus on the front of it, okay? They said milk is better for you than water, okay? Just focus on that part. You know what I'm focusing on is I'm doing this big charity thing and I'm trying to get people to donate money to this amazing New Zealand charity.

And you said you'll give me 200 bucks, $100 per litre. Yeah. That's a dollar per yeah. That's so. It's a dollar per mil. Yes. Yeah. I'm happy with, like, I mean, I will be so sick tonight, but at least there's, like, something good that will come out of it.

A hundred percent. Yeah. And something really gross that will come out of it too. I don't know where it's going to come out at this point. I reckon, I don't know if I can do it. Like, I feel pregnant. Take your time. You've got so much time up your sleeve.

No, but like I said, I'm trying to trick my body before it realises. Before it knows the milk's coming. The havoc that I'm about to put it through. The way your puku is now sticking out, I reckon. I look like I'm pregnant with twins. I reckon your stomach's figured out the milk's on the way. I think it knows it's here.

I think it's not. I think it knows. I think the jig is up. Well, good luck. There's about a third of the two-litre bottle left. She can do it. She can do it. Nine, six, nine, six.

Come on. Get an encouragement in for Brie. Someone said how many mils in a litre? A thousand. A thousand. No, I don't mean a dollar a mil. I don't mean that. Oh, dollar a mil. You heard it here first folks. Oh, that's given me

big incentive. No, I didn't know. Big incentive. No, let's just let's not get ahead of ourselves. Oh, I can't wait. God, I'm going to be, I'm going to be the top, the top person on the charity board.

She needs to finish it yet. So let's all get ahead of ourselves. I better not get ahead of myself. Brie and Clint. Brie is entering the end of a one hour challenge set for her to consume two litres of milk for your body. For your, for your body. For your... For your... I...

It was based off some stupid study that I saw that said milk's more hydrating than water. And Bree's about to take on a really big physical challenge for charity. And so I thought two litres of milk would be good. You were down on the ground. An hour ago you were down on the ground trying to stretch your hamstrings. Yeah, well now I can't get down on the ground because it looks like I'm seven months pregnant.

I haven't seen you down on the ground at all since you started the milk challenge. I'm not going to. I can't even barely walk. There's about one mouthful of milk left. Are we going to do it? Yeah. Are you going to do it? I've got this.

All right. Here she goes. Cheers, everyone. Cheers. Oh. Oh. Oh Oh Oh Ah Ah

She did it Oh guys I'm not well Hey well done that wasn't easy No That wasn't easy She did it. Oh, guys. I'm not well. Hey, well done. That wasn't easy. No. That wasn't easy. That was quite the...

You didn't make it look easy, and it wasn't easy. Good. It was as hard as it looked, especially for someone with lactose intolerances. We joke, but what you're doing is for a good cause, a serious cause, too. So tell us about this challenge you're taking on. Let me try and concentrate because this is super important.

On the 27th of May, I am going to attempt to walk 50 kilometres in one day, not after drinking two litres of milk. And it's all for this amazing small New Zealand charity called Sweet Louise. Yeah. And they're all about supporting and helping women who have incurable breast cancer and supporting and helping their families

and doing everything they can for those women. And they're such an amazing charity run by amazing people here in this country. helping their families and doing everything they can for those women. And they're such an amazing charity run by amazing people here in this country. And they're a small charity, so they need all the help they can get. And the reason why we're doing 50 kilometres is because they do a challenge in May called 50K in May. Yeah. And anyone can do it and raise money and you can walk 5km a day if you want to. For some reason

I'm doing it with Dame Susan Devoy. Yeah. We decided we're going to do it in one day. So you're meant to do 50km over the month and build it up but you're going to do it all in one go. No, you can do it. You can build it up or you can do it in one day. Yeah, right. I mean, we're doing training so we've already hit 50km.

Yeah, in total. In total from training, but we're going to try and do it on one day to raise more awareness and as much money as we can. Yeah. And I'm so stoked because the reason why I drank that two litres of milk is because you said you would donate $200. And I happily will. Amazing.

I mean, should I tell you I would have donated $200 anyway without you drinking the milk? You shouldn't tell me that. Okay, I won't tell you that. You shouldn't tell me that. Of course I'll donate $200. I'm so scared because I definitely don't want to let people down. I've never done

something like this before. It's a long way. It is a long way, but there's people who mean a lot to me and I went on a walk with one of my friends this morning who has incurable breast cancer and I'm just seeing how amazing and inspirational and strong she is. I'm like, if she can do what she's doing, I can bloody put my big girl pants on and do a 50 kilometre walk.

Have you worked out how long it'll take you to walk 50km in a day? Yeah, it depends. I've done a little bit of math. It can be anywhere from, depending on how fast you can go, from eight hours to 12 hours or longer, depending on how many breaks you have. Yeah, you're going to need a lot of milk. I don't think I'll be.

We're implementing something called the Champagne Hour where we'll have a bottle of champagne for that whole hour. Love that. Yes, you know, stay hydrated. Dame Susan probably need a magnum of champagne. Yeah, right. I'd love, if you're listening right now and you've had people in your life that have been through something like this,

I'd really appreciate if you could go to the Sweet Louise page and donate. You don't even have to donate to me and Dame Susan. There's a heap of people that are raising money. If you want to donate to us, I think we're up on the page. You can donate to whoever you want. We're going to get the link to donate to Bree and Dame Susan's on our Instagram account right now. If you go onto our story, you can just click on it.

It'll be right there and you'll be able to go and make a donation. Yeah, good. Well done, mate. Thank you. Two litres of milk down. I'm going to go to the bathroom. 50 k's to go. Oh, Jesus, mate.

I'm seven months pregnant. We should get you a camelback full of milk for your big walk. Please, no more milk. No more. We're on the hunt to bring a bit of culture to our show, as we do not. We've asked people to call through on 0800DIALZM who can speak multiple languages.

Someone's texted in and said, does BS count as a language? 100%. Because I'm fluent. Yeah. 100%, it does. Someone else said the Makona ad that we were referencing earlier is German. Should have known that from the Mir.

Makona heft Mir. Yep. Yeah, makes sense. See, no culture on this show whatsoever. No culture. It's a culturally barren wasteland. So if you can speak more than one or two languages, the phone lines are open on 0800 dial ZM.

We'd like you to call up now and prove it to us. We'd love to speak to you. Max has called up. G'day, Max. Hello. Shall I say bonjour? Bonjour, commentaire. Okay, all right, Max.

Yes, Max. Max, first of all, how old are you? I'm nine. And how many languages can you speak, Max? I can speak three. Three? What ones, Max, can you speak? I can speak English, Portuguese, quite a bit Maldi and French.

Oh, so four. So four? I love how you've just forgotten about the fourth one. Can we get a little bit of Portuguese, Max? Could you give us a little couple of sentences in Portuguese? Oh, Max, so good. And you're nine, did you say? Yes.

Oh, well, you've made us feel very inadequate this afternoon. We appreciate that, Max. Well done, Max. Keep it up. Let's go to Anna. Hi, Anna. Hi, Anna. Hi, how are you?

Good, thanks. I feel like you're going to do the same to us, Anna. First, tell us how many languages can you speak? I speak four. I speak French, Spanish, Italian, and, of course, English. Can I ask, how does somebody get to be able to speak four languages? Have you lived in a lot of countries, or are you just really, really, really ridiculously smart?

Okay, so I'm originally from Mexico, where we speak Spanish. Okay. And I attended a French school from the age of four. Okay. I did all my studies in French. Yeah. And I learned Italian at school, and I have lived in Italy and in America and New Zealand and England.

Anna, can I ask, because people always say that Spanish, which you said Spanish is your original language, and Italian and Spanish quite similar, right? They are quite similar, that's correct. Which would you say is the hardest language, in your opinion, to speak? I think English. Really? Wow, that's so interesting. Thanks.

And we really appreciate it. Someone texted and they said, when I did Contiki, they used to give us a list of the basics for each country that you should learn, like your place or mine. How do I get home, and you're pretty good looking. And also, you up. Someone else texted in and they said, guys, Dolce Delici is Spanish. Come on, Brie, I asked you. You told me it was Italian.

Spanish, Italian, pretty similar. Jack's here. Hi, Jack. Hi, Jack. Howdy, guys. How's it going? Good, thank you, Jack. Do you speak. Hi, Jack. Hi, Jack. Howdy, guys. How's it going? Good, thank you, Jack. Do you speak multiple languages, mate?

Yeah, I can claim four, but I am familiar with six, yeah. Wow. So tell us, list them off for us. Punjabi, Marathi, Hindi, English, German, French. Wow. And then is that an Irish accent that I can hear in there as well, Jack? It's debatable. It's not Irish, but it is close, French. Wow. And then is that an Irish accent that I can hear in there as well, Jack? It's debatable. It's not Irish, but it is close-cut.

It's not. Okay, well, what is it? It's just messed up. I've been away from home and travelled heaps, and, yeah, so the accent is just absolute muck-up of all the accents. Isn't that amazing? Jack, which one would you say impressed the ladies the most? Oh, well, my partner's Kiwi, so she was impressed by Punjabi, which is my first language.

Yeah. Well, I'd say, like, you know, French is a very beautiful language when you know how it's spoken, which I don't. It is terrible when I speak it with my messed up accent. Do you find that with that many languages rolling around in your brain, if you don't use them, you lose them? Yeah, absolutely. Like, they do come back to you when you start speaking to someone

or when you hear a conversation, it's it's there in your subconscious but if you don't use it you lose it yeah i have heard that hey jack can you give us a bit of punjabi of course yeah what would you want me to tell you um can you just say um can you say hey it's jack you're listening to brie and clint on zm the best radio station in the world or just something like that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that.

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I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that.

I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the studio, the hardest working goddamn comedian in the country, it's Tony Lyle. Yes, what a guy. And I mean that too, I follow you on Instagram, there is not a day of the week that you're not gigging in some part of this fine country, Tony. And some of them you get paid for now, Tony.

And as a comedian, can I just say, it fills my heart for that to be my describer. Not the funniest, not the best, not the most successful, but by God does he work at it. He tries. He gigs all the time. Are they great gigs? Shut up. But in a lot of them, he's doing them. He's out there, he's

treading the boards. You believe in not quality, but quantity. Yeah, well I try to believe in both, but you know, you take what you can get. You're no Tony from The Project as well. He's on your TV. You're all over the place. You've got to do it, man, I try to believe in both, but, you know, you take what you can get. You take what you can get. You know Tony from the project as well. He's on your TV. You're all over the place. You've got to do it, man.

I have three children, and they have to eat. I don't know if you've seen how much everything costs these days, but you've got to do as many jobs as you can, and I managed to have 30. Tony's performing in the Comedy Fest, just in case you didn't think he had enough going on, with your show Killjoy. What's going on? What's Killjoy about?

Oh, mate, it's a show. It's basically about times I've gotten in trouble for things. I've realised it sort of blossomed in front of me. I had this one story that I wanted to tell about a time I got in trouble for saying something on the TV. And then it just, once I started thinking about that, it made me realise I've just gotten in trouble a lot. What word did you say?

I didn't actually say a word. People thought I made fun of Mark Richardson, who was there in the flesh. And everyone, for some reason, everyone defended him and was like made fun of Mark Richardson who was there in the flesh and everyone for some reason, everyone defended him and was like, oh Mark Richardson and they thought I was being ageist which I was, to be fair. He's old. The story was, the world's

oldest woman had died. So off the back of that story, I made a joke when I said, well it's really sad news, but on the plus side Mark, that brings you up to the world's third oldest person now. I love that joke, that's funny shit. It's a timeless joke Mark's only like 50 or something. And he would laugh at that. He laughed, but yeah,

old Andre from Timaru didn't appreciate that and jumped onto the Broadcasting Standards Authority and said I was being ageist. So that sort of was the impetus of the whole thing. And then when I started thinking about it, I was like, man, people have complained a lot. Yeah, middle-aged white guys are out of bounds now. Especially the wealthy ones.

You know who's had it tough for too long? Mark Richardson, the man with more jobs than me. So that's where it came from. And it's blossomed a whole bunch of stories, misunderstandings, and just some good old-fashioned observational comedy. Well, you're going to Wellington and Auckland. What's your favourite part of the country to gig in?

Well, it's a hard question. Because I know Guy Williams doesn't like doing rural New Zealand gigs. And that's because Guy Williams is a coward. You heard it here first. I love gigging in rural New Zealand gigs. He's talked about that. And that's because Guy Williams is a coward. You heard it here first. I love gigging in rural New Zealand. Because they love it. You just have to notice something about the town

and it's the greatest night of all time. Like one of my favourite gigs I've ever done is in Geraldine. And if there's anyone listening to this in Geraldine, I don't even have a frequency in Geraldine, I have no idea. But they go off, it's their big night of the year, they come out in droves,

they're a great audience. They turn up, eh? I like to say, oh, you guys have got a bloody liquor store with a drive-thru. And they're like, yeah, we do. We know it's about the liquor store. You're like, wait, that's not the joke. I'm still working on the punchline. I was like, surely you've got to get out of the vehicle before you buy a knee brace.

I mean, you can't drive the vehicle. And they're like, we do drink drive down here in Geraldine. Do they really have a drive-thru liquor store? Drive-thru liquor store and also a drive-thru post office box. You know what's so funny is I come from a rural town in country Queensland and we have a drive-thru bottler. Like it must be a rural country thing.

That's the weirdest combo, eh? You know? I will say I mentioned this in the show and I did it in Australia. I just told you at the Melbourne Comedy Festival and the feedback was that's a normal thing. It's very normal. In Australia, drive-thru liquor stores

are everywhere and I was like, mate, I'll take my fast food drive-thru, fine, but I'll draw the line at booze.

Yeah, I'll get out of the car. It seems irresponsible. Prove that I'm not too drunk to buy this alcohol and then carry on. You should have to do a breath tester

as you go through the liquor store to buy it to make sure you're not topping up. You can see Tony in Wellington from the 9th to the 13th of May and then you're in Auckland at see Tony in Wellington from the 9th to the 13th of May

and then you're in Auckland at the Kew Theatre from the 24th to the 27th of May. The tickets are available at comedyfestival.co.nz. Yeah, or just Google Tony Lyle Killjoy tickets, something I'm sure you're a capable, capable, strong, young, independent person out there. Don't overestimate us, Tony Lyle. That's Tony Lyle.

Thanks, man. What a time. Thank you guys very much. Appreciate it. Appreciate it, Tony Lyle. That's Tony Lyle. Thanks, man. What a time. Thank you guys very much. Appreciate it. Appreciate it, Tony. Brian Clint. It would be hard to do a radio show today, Clint, and not talk about the thing that consumed everyone's weekends.

Warriors versus Penrith. Exactly. And let's get down to the real nitty-gritty of the game. And I'm talking about, I mean, that was a big part of my weekend. Same. I don't want to talk about Warriors were robbed. By the ref. By the ref.

Again. Again. Honestly, it's so blatant. Yeah. Every time they lose, it's crazy. It's always the ref. It's just the ref every time. No, I'm talking about the King's Coronation.

Look, I'm going to be honest. I watched three minutes of it and couldn't stand to watch any more. You weren't interested in just the pure spectacle of it? Nah. You weren't interested in the outfits? Nah. The celebrities? Nah.

The horses? Nah. A lot of horses. I do like horses. Beautiful horses too I just, I've never been into You know this about me, I've never been into that stuff You know

I invited Bree over to watch Prince Harry's wedding Remember that? That's right You, Ben, your partner at the time And about 15 minutes in, they were like, oh, this is boring. I was like, yeah.

What else can we watch? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Trying to change the channel. I'm like, no, we're watching this. You're like, man, this sucks. We should go to town. And I think you did. Yeah, and then we all went drinking.

It was a good night, actually. But no, the King's Coronation where obviously Prince Charles becomes King Charles and some other stuff happens. I, to be honest, don't really know. Or care. Or care. But I did tune in, as I said, and this is swear to God on us. I tuned in for three minutes and it was part of the ceremony when they had this big choir singing. Can I just say there's a lot of choir singing?

Right, right, right. It's very, the whole thing was very religious. Well, this particular part, I couldn't help but think that the choir was singing something quite strange. Okay. And I heard it straight away, and I looked at my partner, and we both looked at each other and went, what are they singing? Right.

So I've grabbed the piece of audio. I've managed to find it because, God, we're dragged on. But I've managed to find it. Okay. And I just want you to tell me what the choir is singing here at the King's Coronation. Correct me if I'm wrong, but did they say something about Camilla's vagina? I'm pretty sure, yeah. I'm pretty sure they did. I heard vagina something Camilla.

What I've heard is I've got a vagina Camilla. Do you have another lesson? I have another lesson. I've got vagina Camilla. I've got vagina Camilla. I've definitely heard Camilla and I definitely heard vagina. Which is weird because she was there. It was kind of about her.

I think it was as she was walking into the place. Surely not. Surely not. Vagina Camilla Yeah, what's this bit? Vagina Camilla Are they saying I backed? No, I heard giant. I heard giant vagina, Camilla.

Have a listen. Here, giant. I don't know. I didn't hear that. Either way. Definitely the word vagina. Either way. Definitely the word vagina. Either way. Definitely the word Camilla.

That's weird because I watched quite a lot of the coronation and on the way out the choir were singing, massive penis King Charles. But I don't think it was a compliment. I don't think they were saying he was well endowed. Yeah. I think it was they were talking about him being a bit of a knob. God save the king.

And that's all I got out of the coronation. Oh no. Oh no. I've got to make an apology. Do it. We were just talking about this particular piece of audio

from The King's Coronation. Bye, Regina, Camilla. Bye, Regina, Camilla. Seems to be that the choir is singing about Camilla's private parts. And someone's text her on the text machine. Someone said Regina is Latin for queen. Is it? Regina, not vagina.

That would make a lot more sense. I mean, but to the untrained ear, like you and I, Clint, definitely sounded like vagina. Vagina. Vagina. Camilla apparently means long live Queen Camilla. Right, so not violent vagina. No. Okay.

Right, you live and you learn. No. It's all part of the learn. We'll get it right at the next coronation. Yeah, yeah, yeah live and you learn. No. It's all part of the learn. We'll get it right at the next coronation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll remember for sure. 100%. Hey, speaking of things that happened to me on the weekend, I thought I'd let you in on this real

awkward situation. So instead of watching the King's Coronation, my partner and I decided we'd watch this doco that's on Disney. And it's about the Aussie women's football team and their path to the Women's World Cup, which is coming up. We're going to be able to watch some games here in New Zealand, which is awesome.

And we were watching this doco and it was so awkward for me because in one episode, one of my exes was in the episode. Did you date one of the Australian soccer players? No, I dated one of the people that one of the players is now dating. Oh. Yeah. Oh. And they did this part where one of the players then was proposing to their partner.

Yeah. And I was like, oh, my God, please don't be my ex. Don't be my ex. And then all of a sudden, yep, there's my ex. And I was watching my ex get engaged in this episode, had no idea. And I was like, oh, this is something I didn't think I'd be watching. Wow. Yeah.

We had to find out that your ex-partner is getting married to someone else on a streaming platform. Like that would have only happened to you and maybe some ex-boyfriends of bachelorettes. Maybe. Maybe. But like think about it. When would anyone ever really get to watch or want to watch the proposal of their ex?

Yeah, nah, never. How random. Unless someone decided to film the proposal and then upload it. Cringe. But they might do that. Well, that could happen, yeah. Yeah, right. Did you know that your ex was engaged to somebody else?

Yes, I did know. You just didn't know it was a world-class athlete. No, I did. Oh, you did? But I just didn't know that they would include it in that really professional documentary. Yeah. I was like, oh, yeah.

You're watching it with your partner, eh? Yeah. Were you like... I was like, that's my ex. Yeah. And then we kind of like... And then the ring comes out. Cool. And your partner was like, that's my ex. Yeah. And then we kind of like... And then the ring comes out. Cool.

And your partner's like, wow, so you didn't propose to her and you haven't proposed to me. Interesting. Yeah, interesting. We should get some tickets to the Football World Cup, I reckon. Yeah, let's go watch a game. It'll be fun. Time for Birthday Banger.

Right, this is what we do at this time. It'll be fun. Bree and Clint. Time for Birthday Banger. Bree and Clint. All I want for my birthday is a birthday banger. Right, this is what we do at this time every day. So if this is the first time you've heard it, you get to call us up and we figure out what was the number one song on your 16th birthday and then we're going to play one of those songs. First person up to Birthday Banger today is Charlotte. Hi, Charlotte. G'day, Charlotte. Hi. How are you, Charlotte. Hi.

How are you, Charlotte? How was your weekend? Not too bad. Pretty quiet. Just hanging with the family. Oh, lovely. Good to hear. Hey, Charlotte, what's your date of birth?

13th of November, 1985. All right, Charlotte. That means you were 16 in 2001. And on your 16th birthday, this would have been number one. Oh, banger. Mary J. Blige, you like it, Charlotte? I like that song. When they go that high with their response, I know they don't really like it.

It's okay, It's okay. It's okay. I've been a good a bit now. I think it's good, Charlotte. I think you've got a banger, but that's cool. Wait there. We're going to do one for Anne. Hi, Anne.

Hi, Anne. Hi. How are you, Anne? What did you get up to on the weekend? Got a flu, Dan. Oh, nice. Did you? Got a sore arm?

Very sore arm. Yeah. Good on you for getting ahead of flu season, Deb. Oh, nice. Got a sore arm? Very sore arm. Yeah. Good on you for getting a head of flu season, Anne. Nice work. Let's do your birthday banger. What's your birthday? 23-12-65. All right.

That means you were 16 in 1981. And let me take you back to your 16th birthday with this one. Let's get physical, physical. I want to get physical. R.I.P. Olivia Newton-John. You remember that, Anne? Oh, definitely. You love it? Good birthday banger for you?

Love it. Love it. It's a good one, Anne. I like it. Okay, wait there. We're going to do one more birthday banger for Grace. Kia ora, Grace. G'day, Grace.

Hey, guys. What did you get up to for your weekend, Grace? Oh, work, most of it. Oh, bugger. What do you do for work? I'm a housekeeping manager. Oh, of course. Okay, well, let's get you through this Monday with your birthday banger.

What's your birthday? The 4th of the 9th, 1992. All right. That means you were 16 in 2008. You might not remember, but this would have been number one. Disturbia. Rihanna. Disturbia from the movie...

Disturbia. Disturbia, that's right. Disturbia. What do you think Grace? Yeah it definitely Makes sense Sounds like that Means something to a

16 year old Grace Okay wait there Going to choose between Mary J Blige Olivia Newton-John And Rihanna For me it's Mary J Blige Yeah me too I think

You agree? Yeah Yeah okay Charlotte Congratulations You've just Oh we lost Oh where is she? Where is she? Okay, Charlotte, congratulations. You've just... Oh, we lost. Oh, where is she? Where is she?

There she is. There she is. Oh, no, here I am. No, it sounds good. Charlotte, you've won, my friend. Woo-hoo! Here we go. Coming straight out of the year 2001.

This is Charlotte's Birthday Banger on ZM Bree and Clint. Bree and Clint. Have you got a gym membership at the moment, Bree? Negative. You know what my gym membership is? What? The pavement. Oh, yeah, man. You know? Life. The streets of my school classroom. I have a membership to the outdoors. Well, this might not be for you.

Then there's a new gym in Melbourne, which is opening up, where the fees for the gym are $1,000 a week. Get off the grass. That is stupid. $1,000 a week. A lot of people have a gym membership and they don't go. Do you think you'd go if you're paying $1,000 a week. A lot of people have a gym membership and they don't go. Do you think you'd go if you're paying $1,000 a week? I'd hope so because I would be thinking you'd get to live at the gym.

You'd have a nice apartment set up there. You'd have a personal chef, maybe a chauffeur and personal training 24-7. There is a chef. You just have to pay for the food, but there's a chef, I believe. Oh, boo. So it's like $1,000 plus if you want to use the chef. Here's what I know you get at this gym. It's called Sint Haven, and it's in the Melbourne suburb of Collingwood.

It's in Melbourne. Fancy. You get yoga classes, a meditation cave, vitamin IV drips. So they put the vitamins into your veins. That's not real. Showers infused with vitamin C. Oh, jeez. And then the real fancy stuff.

So there's a cryotherapy room you go into. Oh, that's the cold where you pop into that weird suction bag. No, I think it's just like a tank and you go in there, but it's not like an ice bath. This thing goes down to minus 87 degrees. Yeah, you like step into this big suit. It's like a puffer jacket and then they fill it full of like ice cold like air. Negative 87 degrees Celsius.

It's meant to reduce inflammation. That sounds horrible. I feel like it would. Sounds horrible though. Imagine the shrinkage. It'd be terrible. In a negative 87 degree suit. I'll tell you what's not inflamed.

My downstairs. Yeah. Tell you what is. My nipples. They've got a thing called an ear pod, which is where you go in and they pump it full of oxygen. It puts more oxygen into your system. This, you've got to be kidding me.

It's a thousand dollar a week, Jim. I'm still waiting to hear when I'd actually be like thinking this is worth it. There's a Pilates studio. Big warp. There's an area for anti-age biohacking. What's that mean? I don't know. This is the biggest scam ever.

Oh, and there's a gym. So if you want to actually lift some weights and do some exercise, there's a gym. So you get some like IV bags and where they freeze you so you're like a snowman. Yeah. And they want to charge you $1,000 a week. Yeah, yeah. Who is going there? Well, you say that.

To get a membership, you first have to be nominated by an existing member. Right. And then they go, okay, so I'll be a member and I'll go to the management. My friend Bree wants to join. You should accept her. Definitely don't. $1,000. What a rip off.

You have to come in for four interviews to determine whether your values align with St. Haven gym. Are you joking? And then from there, they'll decide whether you get the privilege of paying them $1,000 a week at this gym. This is insane. Are they brainwashing people? What is going on? What world are we living in?

No one will join, right? No one will join. Oh, there will be some pretentious people that would love to be a part of an exclusive club. It's sold out. Yeah. It's completely sold out. The. It's completely sold out. The memberships are all sold out.

How many memberships are there? I don't know. It doesn't say. Oh, see, they don't mention that. Yeah, it doesn't say. They don't mention that, do they? It'd have to be a few, though, to pay for the bloody cryogenic therapy chamber.

Well, not really when they're charging $1,000. Anyway, if you're- Do you say $1,000 a week? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're charging $1,000 a week So pretty much only like 50 people need to go If your Liz Mills subscription's about to lapse Maybe it's not so bad now

Maybe it's not such a bad price at all I've just realised 50 members Yeah They make $50,000 a week A week, yeah, yeah What? We're in the wrong business, mate

We're talking about the man who needed to get rescued here. In the woods. Oh, mate, strap in for this story. Well, actually, I shouldn't say strap in. Why? Because straps are a part of the reason why this guy needed to be rescued. Oh, okay. So this story is doing the rounds around the globe today. And German police say that a 51-year-old man was left tied up,

tied up in the woods when a certain sexual game went awry and had to escape after a cyclist and a hunter heard his screams for help. Oh, no. So wait. Not the old. We, no. So wait. Not the old forest sex party gone wrong. Romp and dump. Yeah. Not the old got wood strapped to the wood.

So apparently he was fully dressed. So let's just get that out of the way. So he wasn't naked. He was fully dressed, but he was firmly. In clothes or in some kind of weird bondage outfit? It doesn't say. He was fully clothed in a gimp suit. Wait, but, well, there was something on his head.

He was fully dressed, but this is their words, not mine, firmly bound with ropes and pantyhose over his head atop a deer hunting platform near the town of Beckburg late on Wednesday. Oh, my God. You'd be so freaked out if you found somebody in the woods. Can you imagine? You'd think he'd-

Strapped to a tree with pantyhose over the- You'd think he'd been kidnapped or something. Yeah, or he was some kind of attacker or- Yeah. Yeah. You wouldn't know what to think. Apparently, this all kind of went down after he went there with a woman to have a bit of fun times.

Yeah. And apparently, the woman tied him up, did too good of a job, and she received a phone call and then got quite spooked and then fled the woods suddenly, leaving him behind. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Leaving him behind, tied up. Anyway, apparently.

No man left behind when it comes to creepy forest and stuff. Surely. Apparently the 51-year-old said that he had bought a box cutter with him in case he needed to free himself. Right. But she had tied the rope so tight that he couldn't get the box cutter in to be able to cut it. This is the creepiest, most German thing I've ever heard.

He's tied to a tree with pantyhose over his head and he's got a knife. No thanks. No thanks. I mean. And he's a bit randy as well because No thanks. I mean, if you- Andy's a bit randy as well because things haven't managed to, you know, do what needed to happen. It was on a Wednesday too, which is, you know, hump day. Oh.

If things couldn't have got worse, like if you think your Wednesday's bad, spare a thought for this guy. Yeah. I know people are like, try new things with your partner. Branch out. Step back. Go outside the box a little bit with your romance. Maybe with your partner, not some woman you met online.

And not in a forest either. No. No. Some boundaries are good. Public place. Actually, no, not but no. Oh, no. Bree and Clint.

I feel bloody horrible. What are we talking? One, two and a half hours ago now, you embarked, excuse me, on a challenge to consume two litres of milk for charity to raise money for a very good cause. Yes, for a charity called Sweet Louise. You said you'd give me $200 as a lactose intolerant person to consume two litres of milk.

Yeah. I achieved it. And now I'm reaping the benefits. Brie just returned from the work bathrooms where she said it's a party at both ends. It's not good. That fast? It affects you that fast?

I hope, yeah. Well, I mean, I have not drunk that much milk ever, I don't think. Why would you? And why would I? I never sit down. Who would? What right-thinking person would? I never wake up of a morning and think, oh, wouldn't mind a two-litre milk.

People do, actually. You know there's an AFL player where he strictly only consumes milk? Was it for sponsorship reasons? I don't think so. Is he wearing like an anchor logo? Has he got a tattoo on his arm? He just believes that milk is better. Well, that's what the science says.

That's why we actually did it. That's the real reason. I didn't want to mess with Bree's lactose intolerance. It's because it says that milk is more hydrating for you than water and you're training for a 50k walk. Yeah, I'm real tired now. Oh yeah, it makes you lethargic, eh? Yeah. That's why babies go to sleep so well. Is it? Yeah, I feel like I'm experiencing that right now. You know the one thing I hope? Yeah? Crazy dreams tonight? Well, I hope

I don't get stuck in traffic. Oh, you need to be nearer. I need to be, yeah, I might take that bucket with me, actually. Gross. Like a booster seat. Oh, my stomach is in knots. Well, then let's go. You've done a good thing.

If you'd like to donate to Bree's charity walk, raising money for Sweet Louise, the link is in our Instagram story right now just search brie and clint on instagram it's uh they support women in new zealand with incurable breast cancer please go even if it's a dollar that's amazing thank you very much you do another two liters tomorrow i'll donate another 200 dollars oh i'm so glad you're not here tomorrow. Clint away for the rest of the week. Thank God. Bye, everybody.

Bye, guys. Play ZM's Brand Clint. On Insta, Facebook, TikTok, and live weekdays from 3 on ZM. Feed by KFC. Get the full menu delivered to your door with the KFC app. Play ZM.