ZM's Bree & Clint - ZMs Bree & Clint Podcast – April 23rd 2020

Episode Date: April 23, 2020

#IsItOkFast foodQuarantine CluedoFast food HaikuWhat’s The Plot!Have you got your shit together?Birthday banger!Free beerNative bird parkDouble babyHaircutsMorale Boosting songStop snackingNo more menSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello Governor, welcome to the Bree and Clint podcast. I was listening to another podcast last night. I tuned in to the team that used to do our job, Clint, the Jason PJ show. Oh yes, yep. And I couldn't help but notice how long their podcast intro was. How long are we talking? I can't exactly remember how long, but I remember roundabouts. It literally went, I think, for 25 minutes.

Shit me. Yeah, they're doing some big stuff over there. Was it good? Was it a good 25 minutes? Yeah, I thought it was quite good. I mean, I'm not trying to get people to leave our podcast and go over there. I mean, I'm not sure what the show was like, because I pretty much was done listening after the podcast intro. Yeah, that's the risk, right?

Unless this is a good distraction technique. What if you and I just focus on doing a really good podcast intro, and then by the end of the intro be like, well, I've got my fix. Then it doesn't matter what's in the show. Like, it could be a good buffer for bad content. Yeah, right. Well, we need to do a good show first and then maybe it'll skew over. No, I'm saying if you do a good intro,

it doesn't matter whether you've got a good show or not. Because people will be done listening. People will be done listening by the end of the intro. Okay, go on. What's your best thing you can pull out right now for the podcast intro? No, I've got nothing. That's the problem. Oh.

It's generally the way on the podcast intro. So here's the thing, though. When they record their podcast intro, it's probably 9 o'clock in the morning. Yeah, it would be, yeah. They've got their whole life ahead of them at that time of day, you know? Yes, they've been up since 4 o'clock in the morning, but the day is their oyster. With us, we're sitting here at seven o'clock at night and it's like oh mate i'm just ready to go i want to i want to get home i want to have

something to eat and start drinking i feel like i drag the podcast intro out as long as i can but you are definitely always keen to get out of here yeah yeah that's fair yeah which makes sense because i mean you've got a new baby and a wife and stuff at home. But I just love to have a yarn. No, let's look at the immediate dynamic. You're already home. Well, that's true. I am already home at the moment.

You're there. I've still got to get home. Yeah, very true. In saying that, I always want to give my all, especially to the podcast listeners. I want to give you all of me. Oh, you suck up. I do. You bloody suck up. Go on. That's why I'm asking. And that's why I've created a bonus haiku for you this afternoon, especially for the podcast. Okay. You'll hear in the

show today we're doing takeaway haikus and I've got a bonus one that I wrote especially for the podcast. This is a special edition. All right. Did you write a special poem for the podcast listeners? I barely got through my first one for the show, to be honest. Okay, you ready? I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you. Here it comes. I love takeaways.

They are so yummy, yummy. Can I have some now? I'm just checking your syllables. Yeah, check my syllables. Check it out. They are yummy. They are yummy. They are yummy. No, they are so yummy, yummy.

Oh, I was going to pull you up there. No, no, no. That's only six. No, it's well checked. It's only six. No, no, no, yeah. And I will not have you say that that's just the shitter haiku that didn't make the show. No, it is the shitter haiku because I heard your other one.

No, no, I refuse. That was like a bad version of Justin Bieber's song Yummy. No. And I feel like you've copied him. No, no, I refuse. That was like a bad version of Justin Bieber's song Yummy. No. And I feel like you've copied him. No. Yummy, yummy. Show me a good version of Justin Bieber's song. Remember that song?

Yummy, yeah. Oh, pretty similar. Okay, well you give us, if you don't have anything special to give the podcast listeners, I'm wrapping this up at a mere three minutes 30. I'm trying to think. Or as Jason PJ would say, the intro to the podcast intro. By this stage, they've only just finished introducing each other.

I'm not joking, pretty much. It goes for a long while. They delved into something really personal actually on yesterday's show. Did they? Yeah, someone got some hate. Someone got a complaint. Yeah. And they talked about it. Have you got a complaint? Have you got any hate mail or shit?

Oh, mate, you know what is funny on our show? I don't think you've ever gotten a complaint. Only me. I get all the complaints. People just love to write a complaint about me. What have I got? I wish I could remember some of them. Oh, I got a complaint the time I said boner on the air.

That was a fun formal complaint that someone wrote about me that was good yeah um what else have i got not just i think the main complaints i get are just that i'm too crude um and i need to be more ladylike yeah which i say to those people poo poo you fuck off don't care what you think i'm'm going to be me and I'm going to live my life and you can live yours however you want. Yep. And then we'll just, you know, keep going. Any new information that has come to light that you'd like to share on the podcast? New information.

That would be quite interesting to get Ross Boss on every now and then and we read out the complaints. The ones he's received? Yeah. Yeah. Because I never get to, you know how sometimes he doesn't tell us all of them? No, he's sheltering us Yeah, but sometimes they're quite funny Most of the time not

Most of the time it's quite personal But I mean, you know, sometimes listeners want to hear that Do you want to hear a complaint? Is that what you want? Yeah Because I'll get you one Ellie, can you complain about something about the show please? It was just four hours of shitness, to be honest with you. Well, you know what I say to you?

Fuck you, Ellie. You and the lot of them. Did Jason and PJ swear on their podcast? Yeah, they swear a lot. Oh, fucking oath. Me too, then. Seriously, though, I'm going to leave. So let's wrap this mother up Shall we

No but that's the challenge I'm giving you for tomorrow Yeah I want you to bring something Real personal To the podcast intro tomorrow Okay That's what I want to hear

I feel like I'd bring it to the show Before I bring it to the podcast Then it goes on both But I can try And bring a personal podcast specific Yep Anecdote Yep

Sure Yep Done Cool Okay Enjoy the podcast everyone Bye guys Yep, anecdote Yep, sure Yep, done Cool Okay Enjoy the podcast everyone Bye guys Hey Google

What's the time? It's 3pm Give or take a minute Alexa Play ZM on iHeart Radio Playing ZM on iHeart Radio Hey Siri Winner Brie and Clint on

Brie and Clint are on air in 5 4 3 2 1 Brie and Clint are on air in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. How's this? Can we hear each other now?

Hello? Are we there? Are we good to go? Hello? Yeah, I think we're on. Oh, good. Okay. Crisis averted.

All right. No, that's good. We're under control. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show, Brie and Clint. Hi, Brie. How are you going? Hello, Clint.verted. All right. No, that's good. We're under control. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show, Brie and Clint. Hi, Brie. How are you going? Hello, Clint.

Good, thank you. A little bit tired, but, you know, getting there. Good, good. I went for a run before I came into the show today, and then I was all frantic. I always leave these things too late and underestimate how long it's going to take me to shower. So I've just chucked some shorts on and a T-shirt. I'm clean. And then I just put my jandals on to come to work today because there's no one here and no one's going to see.

But I've just realised that I've got autumn toenails and not summer toenails. And they're really not jandal appropriate at the moment. Yeah, I lost my shellac about a week and a half ago and it's not looking good in our household. It's not looking good. It's long and spindly. It's like... Anyway, that's enough about my toenails. I've got a good. It's long and spindly. It's like...

Anyway, that's enough about my toenails. I've got a fun show coming up for you guys today. Yeah, we do. There's plenty on the show today for you to get involved with. There's also What's the Plot where you can win... Oh, how much is the fuel up to now? It's a lot. Yeah, I think it's $12,000. Okay, well

now you've just gone and made the real number not very good because it's definitely not $12,000. It's somewhere between $500 and $1,000 worth of fuel. Yeah, I think it's like $500 and something. If you want to give that a crack, we'll be doing that just before 4 o'clock. Okay, cool. What else is on the show?

We're going to have a round of Quarantine Cluedo. We're going to play Birthday Banger, all the usual bits. But, Nick, do you want to ask people if something's okay? Yeah, there's a hashtag trending online at the moment where people are asking each other if certain things are okay to do in quarantine. And I want to get people's perspective on this. So if you want to be a part of it, 0800DIALZM,

and we're going to get your guys' answers on some of these questions. Okay, you need people to call right now, is that right? Right now, 0800DIALZM. It's mostly to do with where you can drink wine. Oh, that sounds good. Okay, I'm keen to be a part of this too. Okay, we'll get you guys on after Hot Girl Bummer. Bree and Clint, ZM.

There's a hashtag that is trending at the moment saying, is it okay? And they're talking about doing certain things in quarantine and whether these things are okay or not. Yeah, okay, all right. Which I can relate to a fair few, if I'm going to be honest. So they're okay with me, a fair few of them. But I thought we would run through some of them, Clint.

Sure. Some of them are quite enjoyable, actually. Have we got anyone on the phone? We've got Logan here. He can jump in on the conversation as well. Logan, you can say yes or no to if these are okay or not to do in quarantine. All right. Yeah, and we've also got producer Ellie who can jump on this for another opinion as well.

So between us, I think we should get a good consensus. All right. So the first one is, hashtag, is it okay to take wine on a dog walk? Oh. I think that's completely fine. Yeah, I think so too, as long as you take it in a keep cup. Put it in a camelback. That's exactly what I was thinking.

Yeah. Camelback, yeah, good idea too. Camelback looks like you're staying hydrated on the walk. And I mean, general consensus, I did survey some dogs. They've said it's fine. Yeah. Because the walks get more fun. Sometimes the walks end up at a playground,

which you're not allowed to go on during coronavirus. But anyway. A lot more windy the walks, the general consensus has been from the dogs. Windy, was that a pun? Yeah. So we're going a four-y, was that a pun? Yeah. So we're going a four way, that's a resounding yes. It is okay to drink wine on a dog walk? Yes it is.

Second one, hashtag is it okay from a girl called Molly. She asks, is it okay to lock my kids in the shed for lockdown? Asking for a friend and also myself. I would say it depends on the shed and it depends on the length of time.

Yeah, the longer the better. I wouldn't lock your kids on there while you go for your drunken dog walk. Go to the supermarket. Yeah, you know. I just think you put some food in there and they're good to go. Yeah, right. Puzzle. Done.

Look, I'll say no. I feel like if you're going to say yes, someone needs to say no to this one, so I'll say no. Ellie? Yeah, look, my guts are going a bit funny here. I feel like that could be bordering on child abuse. I'm not sure. So we've got Bree who says yes and doesn't have a kid.

Me who has a kid and says no. Ellie who's on the fence. Logan, how old are you? 14. 14. So and doesn't have a kid. Me who has a kid and says no. Ellie who's on the fence. Logan, how old are you? 14. 14. So you kind of are a kid. What way are you voting? Well, if I was stuck in a shed for a long amount of time,

I'd probably go crazy. And I'm going crazy in isolation anyway. So I'm going to say no. Yeah, but your parents would be fine. And that's what she's really asking here. The next one, hashtag, is it okay? A woman named Kerry said, is it okay to start the day with chardonnay on cornflakes?

I'm going to say that's a big fat yes from me. Absolutely. 14-year-old Logan said, of course it is. Logan, I can imagine what your adulthood is going to be like. I reckon that's yuck cornflakes, but my vote doesn't matter. We've already got three votes for yes, so don't worry. I'd go with a Riesling, though, because it's sweeter. No, you should go with a Kahlua.

Oh, yeah, Kahlua would be good. Kahlua would be nice. Or an Irish cream. What about a Corona? No, not a Corona. No, no. Jesus, Logan, read the room. Beer and cornflakes.

Come on, no. Jesus, Logan, read the room. Beer and cornflakes. Come on, mate. The next one, Shell says, hashtag, is it okay to do a smelly fart on a run whilst respectfully staying my distance from people? Well, you already know Bree's answer. Yeah. I think that's a big yes, better out than in. No, but you told us the other day that coronavirus can be spread by farts. Yeah, but they're saying socially distant from out than in. No, but you told us the other day that coronavirus can be spread by farts.

Yeah, but they're saying socially distant from people. Right. Well, how big is... Does your fart have a mind? It doesn't know where it's going. Yeah, and what's the radius of a fart? Yeah, well, I mean, they say it is detrimental to your health to keep them in, especially whilst running. I'm anti-flagellant, so I vote no.

What's your vote? Yes. Yes. I think it's a yes. Oh, no. What's your vote? Yes. Yes. I think it's a yes. Oh, yes. It's a big fat yes for me. It's a big fat yes too for me. I'm out.

It's fine. Got to let them out. Running away from you lot. Next one is from Sarah. Hashtag, is it okay to have a three-hour long bath to get away from everyone, including my kids, and to fake a headache when they all go for a walk so I can chill in peace alone. I've done this. Oh, man, that's the life.

Yeah, that's good. That is. I'm down with that. You're going to need to do like two bath top-ups for a three-hour bath, though. You're going to have some cold water in there. Yeah. It's going to be like slow-cooked human soup after three hours. You'll be like a human sous vide.

You'd age 40 years. Delicious. Yeah, you'd age 40 years as well. Logan's right. You'd be so a human sous vide. You'd age 40 years. Delicious. Yeah, you'd age 40 years as well. Logan's right. You'd be so wrinkly. This one's from a girl named Rosie. She said, hashtag, is it okay to sit in my car on the driveway to get five minutes of peace from my kids?

Hashtag, Fleet Fauna Megan Long Week in Group 2 driveway edition. Yeah. Absolutely right. I think go for it, Rosie. If you need that piece of sanity, you get it. We talked about maintaining normality too and just going and sitting in your car twice a day to pretend you're in a traffic jam, you know,

just to feel like you've got some kind of routine. So, yeah, I think that's good. I think that's actually constructive. And the last one is from Amanda. She said, hashtag, is it okay to drink wine whilst hosting a university class via Zoom? Look, I think Amanda gets the MVP of all MVPs because I think that is, you know, just multitasking at its best. It's also a great way to earn the respect of your students. So yeah, I think that's a yes as well. Put it in a keep cup,

cut a teabag thing off and it'll look like you're drinking tea. You're good to go. Nah, slap the goon bag. They'll love you. We've talked a lot about the fact that next week fast food restaurants are going to be open again.

Your chance to indulge yourself in whatever hot, salty, sweet, pre-prepared, saturated fat-laden meal you choose. You know, it's been a long time and you deserve a treat. You know, you deserve something good. It is good to get something that I haven't cooked because it's not always good when I'm cooking. Do you find that your food that you cook,

no matter how much flair you put into it, eventually starts to taste the same? Yeah, look, I don't have many dishes in my repertoire. The ones I do have are good, but, you know, they're pretty much the same old, same old week in, week out. Well, this is exciting. I've got information on some of the biggest fast food restaurants and exactly when and how they will be opening when we go to level three.

Are you keen for this? Yeah, great. I want to know. Okay, so the main message from all the fast food restaurants is to be patient when you're ordering your food. It might take longer. Pay without cash if possible and be prepared for a reduced menu. So if you have a very specific burger that you like from McDonald's,

be prepared for the fact that it might not actually be on there straight away because they've got to go to all their suppliers and stuff and they've got to get everything moving again and it's not all going to happen overnight, they've said. Yeah, don't be that annoying person that wants a steamed bun. Shout out producer Ellie. Now is not the time to be particular. Just get your basic, you know, bacon and egg McMuffin or your Big Mac or your Zinger Burger,

you know. Here's some hard data that you can use. McDonald's have said they will hope to have all of their 137 drive-thrus open at 5am on Tuesday, but only with core items available like cheeseburgers, Big Macs, McNuggets, shakes, sundaes and fries. Well see that's an interesting topic right there because that's what they believe

are their core items. So there's no bacon and egg McMuffin on there? No, no bacon and egg McMuffin on that list. Whoa! That's controversial. I feel like that is one of their essential items. They could be serving that but from the list I've scraped, that's what they've said. It's not on there?

Okay. You could ask them to do you a special McNugget McMuffin. No, see, we don't want to be asking for special things. You just want to take what you can get. Okay, Domino's. Domino's Pizza. They are going to be open at 9.30 in the morning for a pizza brunch. I'd love some early pizza.

Pizza's good any time of the day. Delivery only, no pickup, which suits me. That's very good. To be honest, I don't think I've ever picked up my pizza from Domino's anyway. No, and their delivery's very good too. They've got the pizza tracker. You can watch it cycling or whatever it is coming up your street.

That's good. I literally live 100 metres from a Domino's, and I've ordered from their delivery multiple times. And I always think to myself, I wonder what the delivery driver thinks of me right now. Like he literally would get on his bike because that's what they ride around here. And he would go, right, I'm going around the damn corner. Burger Fuel. Oh, I love Burger Fuel. They will be operating a contactless pickup service. They're also going to be doing curbside pickup so you don't have to get out of your car

because Burger Fuels don't have drive-thrus, but they'll let you pick it up from the roadside. So technically a drive-thru Burger Fuel then. Yeah, I guess. And they're going to be doing delivery. Burger Fuel are going to do delivery. That's awesome. I knew there were some good things that would come out of this.

Tank juice bar. I love Tank were some good things that would come out of this. Tank juice bar. I love tank, but I tell you what, I haven't waited all this time for a salad. But if you are, if you're fit spoke, tank juice bars will be on Uber Eats. Hell Pizza. Here we go. Another good Kiwi business. They've said that they hope to open their 76 stores by 4.30 on Tuesday. So you can have a hell pizza dinner.

You can get some prawn horns. Yeah. Yep. Then we get into some of the biggies with not such good news. KFC, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell and Carl's Jr. You might have to be a little bit more patient. I don't have confirmed information on their reopening dates and times just yet it says each restaurant must show that it's adopted an enhanced cleaning hygiene social distancing plan

um yada yada yada before they'll open but they'll be working on it i went past kfc today by my house and you can just tell there's a real buzz around it you can just tell that they're going to rise to the challenge and and the colonel's always been there for us before, Brie, and he'll be here for us this time again. I'll be devastated if KFC's not on the list because I'm definitely hankering for anything KFC. I want to know, because my mind goes to the essential workers, the people that have been out there on the front lines. And I think it's so great that a lot of supermarkets

have made it so they can go straight through. I want to know if the fast food people are going to step up and let the essential workers actually skip the line because I feel like they definitely should. They definitely should. The issue is that drive-thrus generally only have one line so I don't know how you manage that.

Just bump them out of the way. Just push them. Monster cars. Just go over the top. Yeah, why not? Hold tight, New Zealand. We're almost there. Okay? Keep doing what you're doing. And very soon, your reward will be in your hot little hands.

We invented a game during lockdown. It's called Quarantine Cluedo. And basically, we're going to use our detective skills to figure out what room of the house you're in, right? Yeah, pretty easy. We'll ask a couple of questions and then we'll just have a guess. There we go. What's our success rate like, by the way? Not very good, eh?

Not good. Okay, let's see if we're any better today. Hayley, hello. Hi, Hayley. Hi, how are you? Good, thanks. Or as we like to call you in this game, Hayley Hobknuckle. Hayley Hob... If it isn't Hayley Hobknuckle, exactly who I thought

it would be. She hobs and she knuckles. Can I ask you what's your lockdown been like? Have you been leaving the house or are you working from home? I'm 14. Okay, well you'll be at home then? Yep, just doing school a bit and taking the dog for some walks, so.

Good. What kind of dog? What kind of dog? We've got a Rottweiler. No, I love Rotties. Oh, cute. Okay, cool. Gentle giants, hopefully.

Let's figure out where you are. So, Bree and I get one question each and then we're going to guess the room that you're in. I'm going to ask Hayley, the room that you're in currently,'m going to ask Hayley, the room that you're in currently,

is it appropriate to eat a bowl of cereal in that room? No. No. All right. Hayley, would you say you ever do any study, at-home study from this room? No. It's got to be a bath.

It's got to be a wet room. It's got to be a wet. It's got to be a wet room. It's got to be a wet room of sorts, right? Because you can eat in a bedroom, you can eat in a kitchen, you can eat in a lounge. But which? Bathroom, laundry, toilet. It's toilet. You reckon Hayley's in the toilet? Hayley's a classy girl.

She won't be in the toilet. She's definitely in the toilet. Hayley, are you in the toilet? No, I'm not. Where are you, Hayley Hobknuckle? I'm in mum's closet. Oh, are you in the toilet? No, I'm not. Where are you, Hayley Hobknuckle? I'm in Mum's closet. Oh, are you? There's been a lot of people in the closet in this game.

A lot of closeted people. Okay, Hayley, you beat us. Well done. Isla is here. Hey, Isla. Hi, Isla. Or as we called you on this game, Isla fishing for something. Isla fishing for clues.

Am I right? Yes. Isla, how are you going? Good. How old are you, Isla? I'm 11. Oh, we're going down the scale. How's homeschooling going?

I don't like it. No, I don't imagine you would. And I don't reckon your parents like it either. Like, I don't reckon anyone's. No, they don't. No. Have you watched that new TV channel that they've set up that's meant to be like school on TV?

No, I haven't. No, right. Okay. Have you watched a lot of Netflix? Yes. Yeah, now we're talking. That's what I'm talking about. Okay, Isla, fishing for clues.

The room that you're in currently, can you wear your shoes in that room? Yes. Yes. Mmm. Isla fishing for something. Would you say you sleep in this room at any point? Yes.

Oh, bedroom, I think, or lounge room. No, you don't wear shoes in the bedroom. Oh, no, no, no, no. Yeah, you do. I wear shoes in my bedroom. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She's in the lounge. All right, let's go with lounge.

Are you in the lounge? No. Where are you? I'm in the bedroom. Damn it. You know what? Take your shoes off, Isla. Okay, thank you.

Sarah's here. Hey, Sarah. Hi, Sarah. Hey, guys. Salty Sarah, we call you on this game. Salty Sarah, the slippery salamander. Are you nine years old? A few more than that.

A few more than that. A few more, right. Okay. Okay, Sarah. Salty, salty Sarah. The room that you're currently in, would you ever find yourself naked in that room? I'd hope not.

You'd hope not. Okay, so she hopes not. Salty Sarah, would you eat in this room? No. Oh, I was going to say kitchen, but now I don't know. She had to think about it, though. Where would you be naked? Bedroom?

Bathroom? It's laundry. Toilet? Yeah, you wouldn't want to be... I reckon she's in the laundry. Okay. Because you wouldn't want to be naked in the laundry, really, would you? So you don't eat there and you don't...

She said you wouldn't eat there? Yeah, she said you wouldn't. Okay. Salty Sarah, are you in the laundry? You win. I win. Yes! Finally, we got one. We got't. Okay. Salty Sarah, are you in the laundry? You win. I win. Yes! Finally, we got one.

We got one. Okay. Thank you, Salty Sarah. Now, this is the question, Bree. Do we risk it on one more or do we go out on a victory? Yeah, absolutely. You always risk it for the biscuit. All right.

Okay. Blake's here. G'day, Blake. Hi, Blake. Hey. How old are you, Blake? Two. Two.

Okay, cool. Blake, the you, Blake? Two. Two. Okay, cool. Blake, the two-year-old. Big booty Blake. Big booty Blake, the big booty two-year-old. Blake, is the room that you're in carpeted or has a mat? Carpet. Carpeted. Carpet, okay.

Now, some rich people carpet their garage. Blake, the room that you're in at the moment, have you ever done any indoor gardening in this room before? No. No, you haven't. Oh, that carpet. It's a hallway. No one's ever been in a hallway. He's you haven't. Oh, that carpet. It's a hallway. No one's ever been in a hallway.

He's in a hallway. Technically not a room. Hallway room. He's closed the doors to make it into a room. You reckon? No, I've got no idea. I reckon he's in a bedroom. Okay, Blake, are you in a bedroom?

No. Where are you? I'm in the lounge. Of course. Do love a carpeted lounge. See, I told you we should have gone out on that victory. Then everyone would have thought we were good at this game. One from four is not bad, is it?

Interesting thing about lockdown, Brie, is you learn what you're good at, right? You learn what your skills are. Or what you're bad at. Or what you're bad at, yeah learn what your skills are or what you're bad at yeah true true and some people learn new skills some people get good at things you and I have realised throughout the course of this lockdown that

we have a knack for poetry in particular the ancient Japanese form of poetry haiku you said that we have a knack I don't think that is the case. No, you're good. No, I'm terrible.

Ever since you figured it out, you're good. You're good. Sure, your first one had the wrong amount of syllables and your second one rhymed for no reason. But I think you're reinventing the haiku. I think you're like the slam poetry version of haiku. You're taking it to a new place. About time to bring it into 2020, I think.

Yeah. So today for our haiku, the entire team will be joining, producer Ellie and producer Ben as well. We have a theme, okay? We like to have a theme for our haikus. Just gives us a central pillar around which to construct our art form, you know? And today that topic is fast food. Yes, obviously everyone's gearing up for its return next week.

So people are thinking about it. It's top of mind. Seeing as you're not confident, I'll go first. Would you like me to go first? Yeah, you can go first. To break the ice. Here comes my fast food haiku. McD's. could it be?

Pizza and pasta, for me? KFC, ooh wee. I believe it rhymed. Were you taking inspiration from mine? Yeah, thank you very much for noticing. Yes, I was. I took a leaf out of the Brie Thomasale Poetry Journal. Good, good. I don't know if it was the right

page to take as generally, last time, they're not meant to rhyme, but I liked it. Would you like to go next or would you like Ellie to go next? Ellie can go next if she wants. Ellie, you ready with yours? I got it. That was fun, by the way. I enjoyed that. Thank you. I put my heart and soul into it.

It came from the heart because I'm hungry. Alright, well here by the way. I enjoyed that. Thank you. I put my heart and soul into it. It came from the heart. Yeah, nice. Because I'm hungry. Yeah. All right, well, here's mine straight from the heart as well. Fries, quarter pounder, add Big Mac sauce and steamed buns. How long till it's mine? Steamed buns.

Yeah, I love a steamed bun, hun. Yeah, you rave about the steamed bun. I do. I really felt the emotion in yours come to the fore at the end there with the how long till you are mine. Okay, Bree, I think it's time. I think you've had enough icebreakers. I think you need to step up to the poetry mic and smack one down.

I've really lost it on this one, I think. Here we are. Give me it all now. In my belly. Pow, pow, pow. Give me all the cow. I like it. Did you just put in pow, pow, pow to make up the rest of the syllables you needed?

Absolutely. We're going to cross live to his home isolation chamber, producer Ben, for a haiku now. Ben, good afternoon. Good afternoon, mate. Are you ready? Always ready, yeah.

Okay. Now, you and Bree, you can attest to this. Ben has given us some of the deepest, most meaningful poetry during lockdown. He's such a deep man.

Including, I want to go outside. Deep. That was some of his deep man. Including, I want to go outside. Deep. That was some of his best work. Okay, producer Ben, who has been isolated in his apartment for a month now,

please give us your fast food haiku. Cravings? I have plenty. Money? Plenty I have not. I'm really hungry. I like that.

See, he sounds dumb when he says them, but I think they're actually quite good. They are quite clever, yeah. Yeah, did you Google that? No. He's got an amazing ability to, the way he reads it, and you're like, oh, what a moron, but then you just sit with it for a second,

and it really hits you. It does. It hits you, yeah. Wow. Thanks, guys. That's a second and it really hits you. It does. It hits you, yeah. Wow. Thanks, guys. That's a special talent you've got there, Producer Ben. I'm proud of everybody. Well done.

That was good. Well done, team. Yeah. And now I'm more hungry than ever. Yes, I am. So how many days to go? I don't know. Bree and Clint.

A game where Bree is sitting on 11 consecutive victories in a row. This is What's the Plot. Once upon a time, there was a girl. She was smart, debatable, talented, athletic. Not really. Picking a movie based on just the plot line? That she can do. Brie and Clint's What The Plot.

Because you have won so many games in a row, the prize has jackpotted to a whopping $600 of free mobile fuel. That's good for someone if they can win. It's incredibly good. But to take it, you'll need to know your movies better than Bree. And that could be you, Cassandra. Hello. Hi, Cass.

Hello. Hello. You know your movies? Hopefully. Yeah, okay. Be confident, Cassandra. You can do it. Have you played along in the car before?

Oh, absolutely. Every day. Every day? Well, every day that it's on. I was going to say. You knew what she meant. Look, look, look, look, look? Oh, absolutely. Every day. Every day? Well, every day that it's on. I was going to say. You knew what she meant. Look, look, look, look, look, look, look. There should be no advantage today

because the movies are random. They've been suggested to us by listeners of the show in our Instagram story. So the first movie plot comes to us from Chelsea Langkild. Here we go. Your buzzer is your name. Don't wait for me to finish the plot.

Fearful that her ailing father will be drafted into the military. Oh, Cassandra. Hello. Is that Mulan? Oh my God, yes. Never seen it. It is Mulan. Disney's Mulan. No.

Nice work, Cass. Okay. Movie number two. This one comes to us from Kiara Ashley. When maladjusted orphan Jesse vandalises a theme park, he is placed with foster parents and must work at the park to make amends. There, he meets an animal who has been separated from his family. Sensing kinship...

Cass? Cass. Is that free, Willie? Oh, my God. You've done it, Cass. You've done the unthinkable, Cassandra. After 11 weeks, you've finally taken Bree down and what's the plot? Oh, my God, you've just won $600 of mobile fuel.

Nice work, Cass. $600 of fuel, is that going to help you out? Yes, my car needs a wash, but yes. How good is having $600 of free mobile fuel when you can't go anywhere? I feel really great. I'm just going to run my car, really do my part for the environment. Just leave it running in the driveway to make sure you get your money's worth. Nice work, Cassandra.

Very well done this afternoon. Thank you. I've got to ask you, Brie, how do you feel going down after such a long time? I know you had aspirations of getting to $1,000. I never feel bad. I hadn't seen either of those films. So I don't feel bad because I haven't seen them. So she did very well.

I couldn't have won. Have you not seen Free Willy? No because I haven't seen them. So she did very well. I couldn't have won. Have you not seen Free Willy? No, I've never seen it. I actually haven't seen Free Willy either, but I thought of the author. Yeah, to be honest, I was going to say Free Willy as well, but you got in first. You did very well. All right, well done, Cass.

Wait there. We'll get your money out to you. That is What's the Plot? Bree and Clint. Bree and Clint. I've figured out something pretty big and i feel like a lot of people will be very interested in this okay uh i had a light bulb moment the other night where i figured out you could look for one thing in someone's bedroom to figure out

whether or not they have their shit together. Okay. And by their shit together, you mean like in life? Yeah, in life. Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah. You know, they've got their stuff organised. You know, they're killing it. And there's one main reason you can tell. Okay.

What? Yep. And it's based on the position of something. Yep. Okay. I believe you can tell whether or not someone has it together based on the position of their bed in their bedroom. Right.

Tell me more. I believe if your bed is in the middle of the room up against a wall, you've got your stuff together. I think if your bed is up against two walls backed into a corner, you've got a few things to work out. Okay. What if your room is not large enough that it doesn't allow you to have your bed

in the middle of a wall? Hence not having your shit together. Right, you haven't got your shit together enough to get into a house where you can get a room that's big enough. Is that what you mean? Yeah, you probably, I mean, you know, there's certain circumstances that will exempt you from this rule. Yeah.

But I feel like it's a pretty spot on rule and it's good to use, especially when you start dating someone. Yeah. Like if you go over to their place for the first time you can actually check if they're actually telling you the truth whether they have their stuff together or not. Yeah, right. God, it would be awkward if you were staying the night at someone's

house for the first time in that situation and they gave you the wall side and then in the middle of the night after you've done what you've been doing and you're both asleep, you wake up and you need to go to the toilet, and you have to do a commando roll over the top of them to get out of the bed. See, that's what I mean.

No one likes to sleep up against the corner, and if you do, you're crazy. Why do you like that? Why do you like to be locked in? No one wants to wake up facing a wall. Yeah, okay, I think it's important to acknowledge that we all at some time have had that set up. Absolutely. I mean, I'm surprised I don't have it now, to be honest. But I can

confirm that when I had my bed in that position, I did not have my shit together. See? This is what I'm talking about. Let's do an experiment because I know where your bed is and you know where my bed is. We're both in the middle of the wall. Ellie, as a person, would you say that she has her shit together? Yeah, I think so.

Okay. So by your reckoning, and I can't remember being in her bedroom. She should have her bed in the middle of the room up against one wall. Okay, let's cross live to producer Ellie now. Producer Ellie, first of all, congratulations on exuding an air of having your shit together because we both believe that you do. Thank you. So what is the position

of your bed? I'm good. I'm up against the wall. Up against the back wall. I'm not. Yeah, one wall. Middle of the room, one wall. You're in the middle of the wall. She doesn't know how to say it, but I knew what you were saying. Get your shit together, Ellie. I know, right?

Look, I wanted to do a bit of a poll this afternoon just to get the feeling whether or not this is actually correct. Yeah, I'm keen to do that. I believe it is, but we need to take a poll. Yeah, let's take it to the streets, baby. Yep, 0800-DIAL-ZM. All you need to do is have a bed and a room and you can play. And we'll get your take next to see whether or not this is actually true.

You also need to have an honest indication of whether you have your shit together or not. I feel like people will be honest. Give us a call if you want us to do it for you. Bree and Clint. I had a realisation the other day where I thought there's one way you can tell whether or not someone has their shit together based on the position of their bed

in their bedroom. And now I'm talking about whether or not the bed is up against one wall in the middle of the room or it's up against two walls in the corner of a room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I mean, there can be other positions, but we're just going to go with that general idea. Are there other positions?

Other than it floating in the middle of the room, what are the other positions? Yeah, some super fancy. That means you're super rich. Yeah, or you've got enough room. That's what I mean. You're rich. I'd be worried about my pillows falling off the top of the bed when I was asleep. Yeah.

Maybe there's like a pre-made headboard in the middle or something. I don't know. I'm keen to use your brutal metric of bed in the corner or bed in the middle of the wall as an indicator, and we have a team of people ready to take that test. Let's bring AJ on first. G'day, AJ. Hi.

G'day, mate. G'day, mate. G'day, mate. How are you doing? Good, thanks, AJ. Look, you want to be a part of this poll. First of all, tell us where your bed is positioned in your room. In the corner.

This is why I happen to agree. You've really pulled on my heartstring here, Bree. Sometimes you've got to be ruthless. Yeah. Now, listen, I just bought a house and moved in and I opted to go for the smaller room

so that I can rent out the bigger room to get a bigger rental yield. Oh, interesting. How I pay the mortgage. Yeah. Because arguably, AJ, arguably anybody

who's bought a house has got their shit together and yet you bought a house and didn't give yourself the best room yeah so what are you up to are you alright

what are you doing mate I reckon it's better to get that better rent for now while I'm single how much

how much extra are we talking though oh like 60 bucks a week an extra 60 bucks a week that's not too bad yeah okay see I

I think you might... But you're stuck in a little kid's bedroom. Yeah, actually, no, absolutely right. No, you're absolutely right. AJ, the science works on you. Thanks for calling. Taylor's here. AJ, hi, Taylor.

Hi. Tell us first, where's your bed positioned in your room? My bed is up against two walls. All right, so in the corner, right? Do you share your bed with someone? Pardon? Do you share your bed with someone? No.

So that's one good thing. Good. So no one's locked down in your bed, Taylor. That's good. We need to know, you're the judge here. Have you got your shit together? Definitely not. Yes!

I knew it! And I love that you can admit that because we've all been there, Taylor. Is it your goal to one day have your beard in the middle of a wall? It should be, but it's not. Oh, come on. Shoot for the stars, girl. But see, generally, Clint, they don't know what they're missing out on until you have it.

It's so hard to make your beard when it's against a wall. It is terrible. Destiny's here. Kia ora, Destiny. Hi. Destiny, where's your bed positioned in your room? All right, so I moved into my partner's house

a few months ago, and so I'm sharing his bed, and it was in the middle of the room. Yeah. Okay. Now it is currently against two walls. And why is that? Now, when I first moved in,

he was in full-time work and I was in full-time work. I went to work one day. I came home and he had moved the bedroom around and put the bed up against the two walls and two days prior he had lost his job. You shut up. Oh, my God. That's so creepy.

Oh, my God. Destiny, move it back so we can get a really good job. Move it back. This is incredibly accurate. I knew it. I knew there was a method to this. Destiny, I'm sorry to hear about your partner losing his job. But move the bed back. I think Bree's right. Then we've got to move

the bed back and we'll be back on track. Seriously. I would actually love to hear back from you if that actually happens. That would be amazing. What a fantastic discovery you've made. I think that that's really interesting and you can apply it to yourself. Look at your

bedroom tonight. You won't even need to. You know where your bed is. I was going to say, are people searching? I think they might remember. Can't wait to get home and find out where I put my bed. Three from three that was. Bree and Clint. It's my birthday. It's my birthday.

Bree and Clint's Birthday Banger. All right, Birthday Banger time. We'll take your birthdays. We'll figure out what was number one on each of these people's 16th birthdays. First person playing is Sandra. Hi, Sandra. Hi. Hi.

What's your birthday? The 6th of May, 1996. All right. You were 16 in 2012 on The 6th of May, 1996. All right. You were 16 in 2012 on the 6th of May. And on 2012, on that day, this was top of the chart. So you didn't have to stoop so low. Had your friends collect your records and they'd change your number. You said I don't need you.

Gautier and Kimbra. Now you're just somebody. Somebody that I used to know God, are we ready to hear that song again, Brie? Global hit, wasn't it? But damn, it played a lot. Oh my God, it played a lot. And at first I was like, this song is amazing.

And then I was like, I hate this song. What are your thoughts, Sandra? It's an alright song. It's alright, yes. Yeah, it's not too bad. Sorry, I got very passionate about your birthday banger there. It's an option, put it that way. Penny's here. Hi, Penny. an alright song. It's alright, yes. Yeah, it's not too bad. Sorry, I got very passionate about your birthday banger there. It's an option, put it that way. Penny's here.

Hi, Penny. Hi, Penny. What's your birthday, Penny? 27th of the 1st, 79. Alright, you were 16 in 1995 on the 27th of January. Penny, this is your birthday banger. In your head, in your head, zombie. Zombie. This is your birthday banger Zombie Such

An iconic tune Do you remember that one Penny? I certainly do remember that one I believe I sang it a few times Yeah right Oh yeah It's a great sing along song I think mostly the chorus

But yep Okay good one Penny That's a good sing-along song. I think mostly the chorus, but yeah, okay, good one, Penny. That's a good throwback. And William's here. Hey, Willie. Hello, Will. How's it going? Good, thanks. How are you?

Yeah, not too bad. That's good. Let's do your birthday banger. What's your birthday? 10th of March, 2000. All right. You were 16 in 2016 on the 10th of March. And in 2016, this topped the charts.

Oh, man, what happened to Lucas Graham? Did he have any other hits after this? He had a couple of songs, but everyone kind of expected him to go on and do like what Lewis Capaldi, although Lewis Capaldi's actually only had a couple of songs too. Oh, my God. He's right in what Lewis Capaldi, although Lewis Capaldi's actually only had a couple of songs too. Oh my god. He's right in the Lewis Capaldi

mould though, isn't he? Yeah, he is. That was an absolute juggernaut of a song. What do you think, Will? Yeah, it's pretty good. I can relate to it, you know. Oh, cute. It wasn't that old. Because you were once seven years old, is that why you can relate to it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, right, okay.

Yeah, no. I feel like I can relate to it too. Everyone born after 2012, before 2012 can relate to it. I think it's zombie. Do you agree? Oh, it's zombie for sure. Zombie's the winner of birthday banger, which means Penny. Yes, Penny. You've done it.

Congratulations. Thank you very much. Okay. Tell your friends, tell your family, Penny, you've taken out birthday banger. Yeah. Oh, good. There's someone in there who's making shopping.

Wait, you're waiting to do your supermarket shopping? No, no. Someone else is doing it for me. Oh, even better. Oh, you're sick. You're having a great day. Text him. Tell him to pick up some squiggles.

Crack yourself open a Thursday drink and enjoy this, your winning birthday banger. Brian Clint, ZM. Another head hangs lowly Tightly, slowly, taken Slowly, time will slowly take it. And the violence causes silence. Who are we mistaken? But you see, it's not me. It's not my family.

In your head, in your head They are fighting With their tanks and their bombs And their bombs and their guns In your head, in your head They are crying In your head, in your head, zombie, zombie, zombie. What's in your head, in your head, zombie, zombie, zombie.I love you Another mother's breaking

Heart is taking over When the violence causes silence We must be mistaken It's the same old tea Since 1916 In your head, in your head They're still fighting With their tanks and their bombs

And their bombs and their guns In your head, in your head They are dying In your head, in your head Zombie, zombie, zombie What's in your head? In your head Zombie, zombie, zombie Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Yeah, yeah, yeah ZM, Bree and Clint That's the winner of Birthday Banger for Penny It's the Cranberries and. That's the winner of Birthday Banger for Penny. It's the Cranberries and Zombie. That's a great birthday banger. I love that song. Yeah. Even though I would have been very young.

R.I.P. too. She passed away a few years ago, the singer from the Cranberries, didn't she? That's so sad. Yeah. One of the greats. Brie and Clint. No, you're right. Something really, really good for people listening. This is good news.

If you want free beer, which I mean. Yes, please. Who doesn't want free beer? Especially right now. I'm drinking a load of it. Free beer for an entire year. Sounds like a good deal to me. It's exactly what a brewery over in Australia are offering.

Moondog Brewery, who sadly had to close two of its Melbourne venues because of obviously coronavirus and all the goings on. They've come up with this idea where they announced on their Instagram they will be giving away a year's worth

of beers, which I was like, damn, what a good price. Yeah. Is it leftover beer? No. Is it a year's worth of beers, which I was like, damn, what a good price. Yeah. Is it leftover beer? No. Is it a year's worth all up front and you've got to drink it before it goes off? No, no, no, no, no.

You just have access to their beer for a year. Okay, yeah. And you don't have to do all that much. What do you have to do? You don't have to do not that much. What do you have to do? You don't have to do not that much. It sounds like there's a catch. Kind of. All you have to do is go to their Instagram

and you have to upload a before and after picture of your hair before and then after you cut a mullet into it. They're on the search for the best isolation mullet they can find and the winning mullet will pick up that free year worth of beer. Is this competition open to New Zealanders? Because I feel like this is a competition made for New Zealanders. I think potentially. You'll have to go to their Instagram and have a look.

It might be Australians only, which I think is BS, but it potentially could be. have to go to their Instagram and have a look. It might be Australians only, which I think is BS, but it potentially could be, and I've seen some good mullets kicking around NZ, especially down in the South Island. Yeah, absolutely. And there's so many 14-year-old East Coast boys

in New Zealand as well, who are obviously too young for the beer, but they're rocking a hell of a mullet. Maybe they could win it for their dad. Yeah, that'd be a nice Father's Day present. What do you think constitutes a good solid mullet? I believe a good solid mullet is if you have a hat on and I see you from the front, I know that the mullet is there. It needs to bush out around your traps, your trapezoids.

Yeah. And then when the hat's off, I actually want a short cut on the sides. I don't care what you do with the top. It needs to be short, obviously, but I want it shorter again on the sides and then free-flowing at the back. I feel like my favourite mullets, and this might just be me personally, is a good curly mullet. Yeah, love a curly mullet.

You know what I don't like? What? A greasy curly mullet. Yeah, love a curly mullet. You know what I don't like? What? A greasy straight mullet. People talk about a greasy mullet and they talk about greasing up their mullet like it's a badge of honour. But, no, I love nothing more than a well-panteneed, pro-veed. That's the flowy mullet that I think of when I think of a good mullet. Yeah, yeah, I'm on your team.

Yep, absolutely, yeah. And I think, yeah, you've got to really commit. You need to know that you could tuck the back of the mullet up into the hat and it could look like you don't have one. I love when people do that. Yeah, and then boom, unleash that. And then boom, look out, secret mullet. And I feel like the hair has to be below the shoulders.

What do you think? Yeah, I agree too. Yeah, or at least touching the shoulders to be a good one. Yeah, exactly. Which means the only person in this conversation who could enter the competition is you, and I think you should. I really think you should.

It would take a lot of money for me to cut a mullet. It wouldn't actually take that much effort with my hair. I feel like I'm nearly there. How much money would it take? Oh, 10K. 10K and you'd cut a mullet in? Probably. Yes, you would for 10K?

Yeah, I think I'd do it for 10K. For charity? Oh, God, yeah, why not? 10K and you'll cut a mullet in for charity? All right, leave this with me. Brian Clint. I'm waking up. Brian Clint.

We're all hot off the back of Tiger King, right? We've all seen it now. Probably. We're all up to date. Everyone's up to date of Tiger King, right? We've all seen it now. Probably. We're all up to date. Everyone's up to date with Tiger King, right? Yep. I've watched even the additional episode, which made me hate AirPods. Yeah, right.

Okay. What? I haven't seen it yet. Is it worth watching the extra episode? Nah. Nah, I didn't think so. Nah, not worth watching. I'm on to other things now anyway.

But I may have found a way for New Zealanders to live that Joe Exotic lifestyle. Okay, how? I've found a business for sale which will let you become the Tiger King of New Zealand. All right, well, I'm cautious. How does New Zealand's only native bird park Located on an abandoned prison sound? Where the hell is this place? It's in a place called Shannon

Which is 35 kilometres outside of Palmerston North Shout out to Shannon It's very central I mean if you're talking about the central North Island. And it's up for sale. Now, let me tell you that the native bird park located in an abandoned prison, what do you think the perfect name for that park would be, Brie? Jailbird.

Jailbird, close, not bad. That's all I got. The park is called Alcatraz. Alcatraz. Because it houses native owls inside it. It's got more porks in there. Alcatraz. Owls that live in a prison.

Alcatraz. Yeah, no, I got the joke. Alcatraz. No, I got I got the joke. Alcatraz. No, I got it. Let me sell you on the business. It's located inside the original Shannon Jail, which was constructed in 1911. The jail was last used in 1972 to house prisoners,

so it's been abandoned for a while. And in there, it's not just birds. They've got moreporks, which you just heard. They've got North Island wicker. They've got moreporks, which you just heard. They've got North Island wicker. They've got a variety of native bird species, but there's also a donkey. There's an alpaca. Random.

Yeah. There's a deer. There's a pig. And there's some cows as well inside this park. How does that sound? It's a menagerie. Oh, you're not convinced. Okay.

How about the fact that there's a picnic area, which inside it has free roaming a miniature horse. Oh, now I'm on board. Rabbits, guinea pigs, all just pottering around in there for you to just have a little picnic with. I must ask,

why is it up for sale? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, as a potential buyer, that's an important question to ask. Yeah, I feel like I want to know the reason because, I mean, it's in an abandoned prison, which I mean, never thought to myself, oh, I'd love to live and work at a prison. Perhaps business isn't booming at the abandoned prison Bird Park in Shannon, 35 Ks outside Palmerston North.

But what it's looking for is a good business person, like Joe Exotic, to come and take it over, you know? That can really jazz it up. Yeah, really jazz it up. I've got one more thing. I must say, I don't know whether or not native birds are as cool as tigers. Oh, that is disgusting of you to say.

And I'm pretty sure that they're probably not. Hey, if you're interested, the property's for sale on One Roof. Go check it out. Great thing to sink your money into. Wrap your head around this conundrum. A woman, 20-year-old Bangladesh woman, gave birth to her first child. Congratulations. I know, pretty exciting.

And then a month later, she gave birth to some twins. Which is crazy. And when I read the story, I was like, there's just no way. How is that possible? The baby is in the womb for nine months. She just had a baby. She couldn't possibly be having more babies. Yeah, and my limited understanding of the female anatomy

is you can't get pregnant when you're pregnant, you know? No, I don't think so unless there's some really weird cases out there but this woman... I'm right in assuming that, right? I'm pretty sure. You guys's some really weird cases out there. But this woman – I'm right in assuming that, right? I'm pretty sure. You guys are the other one doing it. Is that how you guys interpret it? Yeah, I'm pretty sure you can't.

Sweet, sweet, sweet. This woman was actually pregnant with all the children the whole time. Well, one baby for a month longer and then the others later. But it turns out she actually has a rare condition, which means she has two uteruses. Oh, I've heard about this. So her first baby and the twins were conceived and grown in two separate wombs.

So were they conceived at different times? It doesn't say in this story but potentially I'm guessing yes because they're a month apart. Yeah, I mean one could be two weeks early and one could be two weeks overdue but I mean

and again we're relying heavily what I'm about to say relies heavily on my limited understanding of what goes on under the hood for you guys. But if the pregnancy was to happen in the same occasion at the same time, it'd have to go into two different places, wouldn't it? Yeah, which I mean potentially could. It'd have to travel into two different uteri.

Definitely is potential for that. The crazy thing to me is that she didn't know that she was pregnant with the two twins. So she had the baby and then she went in because she was having stomach cramps and they did an ultrasound and they were like, you've got two heartbeats.

There's two twins in here. And she was like, pardon me, she didn't even know she had two ut in here. And she was like, pardon me. She didn't even know she had two uteruses. She hadn't been diagnosed with that. She didn't even know she had it. You wouldn't know that you were, you wouldn't even think for a second that you were pregnant with twins again. No, absolutely not.

You've had the baby and then you go, all right. Especially if it's your first baby, you go, I don't know how long it takes for this old tummy thing to start going down, but clearly mine's going to stay up for a while longer. You'd be very confused. You've got twins in there and you're like, oh, it feels like they're still kicking. It must be sympathy pains. They must be having sympathy pains.

Yeah, that would freak you out once they started kicking, wouldn't they? The good news is that all the children are safe and healthy and the mother is doing fine as well. So she's like a baby-making machine. That is great news. If you have two uteruses, do you have two periods? God, that poor bitch. She would. I don't know.

She would. Probably, yeah. Oh, my God, that poor woman. Bree and Clint. I was walking around my bubble neighbourhood area. I was staying local this morning. I was going for a walk. And I walked past the barbershop and I was like,

oh, I wonder if level three means that I can get a haircut. But no, of course it doesn't, right? There's nothing less contactless than a haircut, right? Yeah, I mean, people are all up in your face for an hour two hours well behind my face but yeah you know right like there's no social distancing involved with a haircut so it's going to be a little bit longer i'm i'm i'm close to a diy job i reckon i reckon I'm on the verge of going... God, you boys are so bloody precious with your hair, I tell you. No, it's not that.

No, you are. No, I'm calling you out. I'm calling all the boys out right now because I haven't had a haircut for two years. Yeah, but you're here. Woman's hair is like a fountain and it just runs. No, not the case. It is, and all you've got is a more long... You've got, not the case. I've got split ends all over the shop.

You've got a longer fountain, that's fine. And I've told you this before, your haircut is easy. Just cut along the bottom and it's cut. That's not how a haircut works, mate. But it would. It would in this situation. It would. If you just needed to cut off your split ends or to take yourself up an inch just to go snippy, snippy, snippy.

It's called layers. Men have got, I was going to use the word layers. Men have got layers in their hair. Like when I go to the hairdresser. I could easily do your hair. Give me a number two, I'll do it. He takes it in two fingers and he's like snip, snip, snip, snip. And then he goes on a different angle, he's like snip, snip, snip. And then some of it goes through a comb.

I don't know what he's doing up there. And it takes an hour. It takes an hour to do it. Whereas yours, snippy, snip, around the bottom. You are the fanciest man I know. No. No. How much is your haircut? No, free. How much is your haircut? Free because I get a hook up.

So how much would it normally be at the place you go? $35. Sounds like a fancy place. Do they offer you anything? $35 is not fancy. $35 is standard for a haircut. I know some men who pay $95 a haircut. Yeah, well that's just craziness. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anyway, you fancy men, if they're using scissors, what happened to just using the buzz cutter? That's what Ben did, and look what happened to him. Yeah, but Ben was doing it. This is my point, okay? I, I and many men are on the verge of a DIY job or employing a friend or loved one to do their haircut because men's hair.

I'll do it. Men's hair, once it gets to a certain length, it looks very uncut. Whereas women's hair, like I said, a beautiful fountain that you can just tie up. Don't you mansplain to me haircuts. I know how a woman's hair is and I know that men are a little bit precious with their hair. They're like, oh, it's been four weeks, better get a haircut.

You are on the verge of re-entering my bubble next week when we go to level three. I'll cut it for you. No, you're not welcome to. My mum's a hairdresser. I used to cut my brother's hair all the time. You should call my brother and get a review from him. Yeah, I feel like he'll warn me against it.

Well, there you go. If he doesn't, then you know it's good. I was suggesting getting my wife to do it. Has she ever cut hair? No, but only one of the two of you hasn't butchered my hair before. Which one of you organised a perm for me which burnt my scalp off? Was it her or you? Technically, I didn't do that perm,

so you can't put that on me that I did that to your hair. Someone else did that. I don't blame anyone else. I only blame you. I think you're missing out. Your wife never cut hair before. Me, cut my brother's hair all through high school. Yeah.

My mum is a hairdresser. I've watched her do it a few times. I also saw what you did to Ellen's hair. I saw what you did to Ellen's hair with that hair dye. He likes it. Ellen, do you like your hair? I hate it. See to Ellen's hair with that hair dye. He likes it. Ellen, do you like your hair? I hate it. See, he loves it.

He loves it. He hates it. He's a walking advertorial for why you should not be that near her. Yeah, but I wasn't trying with his hair. I've changed my mind. I'm fine with a hat. I'm fine. I'll be good for another month.

Bree and Clint. Look, this next information is not going to be funny, but it might be helpful to some people. Oh. Found an article. Sorry, mate. I thought it was going to be a funny article, but it pretty much states it was all these different ways

that it gives you to stop snacking. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you pitch this piece of content to us today before you'd actually read the article? No. Yes, you did. And now content to us today before you'd actually read the article? No. Yes, you did. And now it's in the show and you've read it and it's a purely scientific article.

No. Hey, we do interesting stuff. Yeah, bullshit. We do interesting stuff. We do. We talked about that woman that had three babies in the space of two months. Yeah.

That's interesting. All right, you better use your Thomas L charm to spin this into a bit of fun. Oh, God. Here we go. What are the top five ways? And I'll make it fun for you, too. I'll get you some music to go with it.

Okay, cool. I'm really going to have to polish this turd. Here we go. Here we go. Well, we can do this together. That's right. We're in this together. Here we go.

Oh, no. Now we cross live to Brie. This jazzes it up. Who's got the top five ways that you can stop snacking in lockdown. Oh, thanks so much, Clint. Coming live from my lounge room, one of the biggest snacking areas ever. This might help you out during lockdown. The first way to stop snacking during lockdown.

Pretty exciting. Separate eating from distraction. What? I mean, cool. So apparently if you're eating and watching the news or you're on the phone or you're doing something whilst eating, you will eat more. It's my favourite thing to do. Yeah, I know.

Why are they taking that away from us? Eating and watching TV, eating and talking to my friends on the phone. Okay, let's not do that one. That one's stupid. That's cancelled. Yeah, that one's dumb. The second rule to stop snacking in lockdown is don't pop the Pringles. Don't pop the Pringles because once you pop, you can't stop?

That's literally what it is. They say if you open something, you will eat it until it's gone. Why would I buy Pringles if I didn't intend on popping them? No, that one's shit. Can I say also, interestingly about Pringles, have you ever noticed that Pringles, where their slogan is... They've gotten smaller? No, no, have they?

But no, no. Yeah. Once you, they say once you pop, you can't stop, and yet Pringles are the only chips that come with a lid. So they're literally the only chips where you could stop. True, you can put it away. You know, Pringles are the only container where they say have have some later, and yet they tell you, don't you stop. If you pop these, don't you stop.

And that's why they made them so good. They had to. They had to. Because there is an option of stopping. Okay, two down, three to go. You haven't given me a single good one yet. Oh, no, here we go. Number three, become aware of your true needs.

You don't need chocolate at 11 o'clock at night. You probably need some water. No, I don't. You probably do. No, I don't. I feel emotional. I've been locked in the house. No, that's not going to be good for your brain.

I deserve a treat. It is good for my brain. It's going to give me dopamine. It's going to give me a sugar rush. Nah, shit. Nah, you've got two more chances, mate. Two more chances to hit me with one way, constructive way, that I can help stop snacking during lockdown.

Oh, this is a good one. This is a good one. Re-engineer your environment to encourage healthy decisions. So get rid of all the bad stuff. So they're pretty much saying to cut down snacking, you just don't have any good snacks. I mean, that's not rocket science. Because I don't live alone.

So if I do that, my wife will hate me. So that's not a possibility either. Well, she should hide her stash somewhere. She doesn't want to have to do that. She wants them in easy reach. She's a busy woman. Well, you're being difficult. You're being very difficult.

I'm not being difficult. No, I think you are. No, you are. You've got one more chance. Go on, what is it? The number one way. The number one way of stopping snacking during lockdown, have a protein-packed breakfast.

That's actually a good one. That's actually smart. You know what I've realised? What? I don't want to stop snacking. It's my favourite thing to do. I don't care. I don't care. It makes me happy. No, you don't want to stop snacking. It's my favourite thing to do. I don't care. I don't care.

It makes me happy. No, you don't have to stop snacking. Or you can say you've stopped snacking, but you've moved from three meals a day to eight meals a day. Bree and Clint. This is going to concern... If you're thinking about moving to Australia, don't. Because this is very concerning. Well, actually, for the ladies, maybe if you're thinking about moving to Australia, don't. Because this is very concerning.

Well, actually, for the ladies, maybe if you're a male, I think you should be moving to Australia. Okay, sure. When all this is said and done. Yeah. There's statistics out today that there is officially an Aussie man drought. Okay, not enough men to go around in Australia.

Yeah, apparently stats out saying that the census over the last however many years has showed that there are 100,000 less men than women in Australia. Oh, that's substantial.

That's a lot, isn't it? God, this is not what men need. than women in Australia. Oh, that's substantial. That's a lot, isn't it? Yeah. God, this is not what men need. What? Men do not need that power ratio going in their favour as well. Yeah, the ladies aren't. Well, I've got the pick of the litter, you know. They want me.

I don't want them. I mean, I do want them, but they can come to me, you know. The ladies aren't happy about it, I'm telling you. And apparently there's a few ladies speaking out that apparently the statistics show there's quite a few, there's not too bad of statistics for

like in your 20s, like males in your 20s. Yeah. But as soon as you get around 34, 35, not many. Wait, is it single men or just men in general? Well, they're saying men in general because the census is obviously the count of people. Yeah, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Because lots of men are taken by their age anyway.

I know it does get harder in the dating scene the older you get. Because your pickings become slimmer, right? Well, exactly. So this is saying because there is less actual physical men, the amount... Physical men, as opposed to metaphorical men. Yeah, yeah. They're saying, yeah, it's very, very difficult, and they're officially calling it the Aussie man drought.

God, too many women in Australia. What an unfortunate time for you to leave. The estrogen is just pouring out of that place Although you leaving the country did actually help to shore up the ratios a little bit Well yeah, I was just doing my part for the country Exactly right, exactly right I guess I'm now using this platform to encourage any young hot strapping lads to head over across the ditch Yeah, get over there

And you know, you've got, as you said, the pick of the litter. Do with that information what you will, men of New Zealand. Find yourself a wonderful Australian sheila. ZM's Free and Clint. The podcast with mobile smiles. Register, fill up, redeem points for rewards. Easy. If you enjoyed this podcast,

why not give ZM's Fletchborn and Megan a listen too. Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. ZM.