ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – August 10th 2018

Episode Date: August 10, 2018

What phone do you use?Clint sings Celine DionBirthday Banger!Are you dating someone hotter?Booze or wifi?Mary performs Missy ElliotAnjelah Johnson in studioSpeeding finesBad haircutKiwi MillionaireSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Brie and Clint on ZM. Kia ora New Zealand, how are you? Happy Friday, welcome to the show Brie and Clint. Hello mate. We have $40,000 up for grabs at 5pm today. That's right, secret sound happening again today. Soundkeeper Annabelle will be in. Will someone win the 40k?

How often do you get to say that? One phone call and we could give someone $40,000 this afternoon. I had a few people message me on Instagram yesterday just to say thank you because I jackpotted it yesterday for the people. Oh, you took us up $10,000. Yeah, you're the real hero. I'm the real hero. If you missed it, we played a game called What's the Plot?

And it was either Annabelle keeps her money or I win it for the people. Yeah. And I took her down. $30,000 instantly up to $40,000. Also, there's a microphone set up in the corner of the room for a very special performance today. I'm so excited for you because today you might come good on one of your wedding vows that you promised your wife, Lucy.

4.30, I will sing for Celine Dion tickets. And you know, I'm not worried And you know I'm not worried about it I'm not worried about it Is that why you haven't been practising All afternoon and last night No that's why I'm not worried No that's why I'm not worried Because I've just had a practice

With producer Ben I think I'm right in the zone I think my rendition of the Titanic theme song I think could surprise a few people today Ross Boss The biggest Celine Dion fan Will be the judge Of whether or not Clint's performance is good enough to win these tickets.

Also before 5 o'clock today, we're going to give away tickets to Friday Jams. What's happening? What's happening? How good is this? Move with this. Pick your pick. If you get through to play Birthday Banger today and you win,

we'll give you two tickets to Friday Jams Live where you'll see Usher and this man, Lil Jon. This is the Birthday Banger to end all Birthday Banger today and you win, we'll give you two tickets to Friday Jams Live where you'll see Usher and this man, Lil Jon. This is the Birthday Banger to end all Birthday Bangers. Yeah, so that'll happen about quarter to five this afternoon. Right now though... Let's just play this.

I'll buy yourself. Let me see you do it. Let me see you do it. Now we've got to play this one. Here's Usher loving this club. Bree and Clint, ZM. ZM's Bree and Clint. Clint, are you someone who gets excited when they release details about the new phone

that it's going to come out? Used to be. I feel like they haven't changed much recently though. Like it used to be like quantum leaps in the sort of phone that would come out. I feel like they just take things away. Yes, now I'm scared. Like the headphone jack and then you know, the charging jack changed.

Next they'll go, we've taken away the screen. No more cracked screens because you don't have one. Now we're putting it in your hand. Like something like that. So the excitement's worn off for me. But Samsung have released last night the new phone, the Galaxy Note 9, when it will be released in New Zealand and how much it will cost.

Right, okay. And it is the most expensive smartphone ever to go on the market. Really? That's what caught my attention. How much? So one of its big selling points is... Okay, sell me on it first. Cool.

And then give me the price. That it has a massive amount of storage. How much? So big storage. So the minimum entry level is 128 gigs. Yeah. And it'll cost you $1,700. Oh.

Jeez. I don't know how much the most expensive iPhone is, but it doesn't matter what kind of phone it is. That's a crap load of money. That's a lot of money. And then if you go up to the 512 gigabyte, which is a lot. That's a lot of storage. It's half a terabyte.

It is. It's huge. That's two grand. Two grand for a phone? It's $1,999, but it's two grand. Yeah. It's quite a lot. The things that I was interested in.

It's a lot of money for something that you are at risk of dropping every time you're drunk, you know? There's a lot of things. Imagine you have a $2,000 vase in your house, okay? And then get that vase, take it with you to town. You take it to the toilet. You take it. Yeah, get steamed with this vase.

And then you have to carry it around. And take it out. And then take it out and show it to people and walk around with it. You just wouldn't, would you? No, you wouldn it. Yeah, get steamed with this vase. And then you have to carry it around. And take it out. And then take it out and show it to people and walk around with it. You just wouldn't, would you? No, you wouldn't. But somehow with phones, it's different. It's like, yeah, I'll pay $2,000 for that.

It's crazy. So they're saying the biggest things are the memory, the battery apparently is the biggest battery Samsung has ever put in a mass market phone. That's good. So that's good. And also the colours. You want to know the colours?

Yeah. So here in New Zealand, you'll be able to get midnight black, ocean blue, and I think metallic copper. Okay. Yeah. Fantastic. Does it have a headphone jack?

I think it does. And you know what? That's all I really care about. Me too, because I miss it on my iPhone still. I'd probably pay two grand for an iPhone if they put a headphone jack back in it. I probably would too. Yeah.

Just a special edition iPhone. Oh, but no one's going to be using plug-in headphones, guys. Well, then 12 months, you won't even need to. Mate. Bullshit, Steve Jobs. Oh, no, he's gone, isn't he? You're the one with the earpods. You're the one with the earpods.

Yeah, I've got the wireless earpods and everyone teases me. They go, oh, cool nerd headphones. And I go, I can't plug other headphones in. What was the game we want to play this afternoon? We want people to call through 0800 dial ZM and we're going to guess what type of phone

you use. We think it's pretty easy to tell. Are we going to tell by the person or by the quality of the phone call? I mean, everything will come into it. Everything will come into play. And this is not an Apple versus Samsung. No.

We don't care what phone you're on. We're just going to guess what type of phone you use based on your voice. Call us from a Huawei. Call us from a Landline. A Nokia. Call us from a Siemens. That's the type of phone. Is it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You sure? Yeah. Okay. Well, it used to be anyway. I hope it is. Z it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You sure? Yeah. Okay. Well, it used to be anyway. I hope it is. We're just talking about the new Samsung Galaxy Note 9. The details got released last night.

New Zealand, you'll be able to get it on August 24th at a price starting at $1,699. You know, someone's texted and told us what the most expensive phone in New Zealand is. What is it? It's not a Samsung, even though that one goes up to $2,000. Apparently, New Zealand's most expensive phone, without gold placing it or anything or putting diamantes in it, is an iPhone X, 256 gig, $2,099. So it takes the cake on this $1,999.

It's so much money for a phone. That's ridiculous. It's so much money for a phone. That's ridiculous. It's so much money also because you're completely tribal with it. Like part of the reason you're getting it is because it's a Samsung or because it's an iPhone. That's more than my first car. Yeah, yeah. Like that's crazy.

It'd be more than a lot of people's cars. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, right now. That's mental. Right now we're going to guess on 0800DilesAtM. You've called in, you've talked to our producer, Ben, and you've told him what kind of phone you use. We're just going to guess.

What type of phone do you use? First up to play, Sonia. Hello. Hi, Sonia. Hi. Okay. Sonia. Yeah.

Are you in a relationship? Yes. Okay. Interesting. Sonia. Yeah. Have you charged your phone today? Yes. Interesting. I'm going to say, Sonia, you're using an iPhone 6. I think an iPhone 7. iPhone 7? Let's just go with iPhone. Let's go with iPhone. iPhone in general. Sonia, what type of phone do you use?

An iPhone 7. All right. Damn, we're quite good at this. That's one from one. Thank you, Sonia. Thank you, Sonia. Let's go with Brian. Hi.

Hello, Brian. Hey. How's it going? Good. Listen to Brian. Brian sounds important. He's got a nice... What do you do for a job, Brian?

I do IT. Now I know what he's got. He's an Android user. I know what he's important. He's got a nice... What do you do for a job, Brian? I do IT. Oh, now I know what he's got. He's an Android user. I know what he's got. He's an Android. But what kind of Android? That's the question. Does he...

I know what he's got. I know what he's got. What do you think? He's got a Samsung. Or is it a Note? Or it could be a Note. What's the one that used to blow up? That's the Note 7.

Not that one. Let's just check Brian. Oh, it's still here. Brian, you're not on a flight. Sorry, Brian. Brian, you're not on a flight with a Note 7, are you? Not yet. No, cool.

Okay. Let's say Samsung Galaxy. Let's just say Samsung Galaxy. Brian, do you have a Samsung Galaxy? Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Oh, man.

I love Blink. Oh, two from two. Damn, how are we so good at this game? This is our secret talent. Okay, Melissa. Hello, Melissa. Hi. Now, Melissa, what did you have for dinner last night?

Oh, my God. Oh, nothing, actually. I was studying. Nothing. Melissa, I had grated cheese for dinner last night. Oh, I had cheese and marmite at lunch. Oh, you and I would get on. You know what that means?

Yeah. Melissa currently doesn't have much money. I think because she spent her money on an iPhone X. I think iPhone 2. I'm going to say iPhone. Melissa, what do you use? iPhone, yeah. Yes!

For that bonus point, Melissa, what type of iPhone is it? 6 Plus. Oh, okay. Shouldn't have asked. Should we go one more? We're three from three right now. Do you want to go one more? I feel like one more. Let's go with Gary.

Gary, hi. Welcome to the show. How are you doing? Oh, no. Okay. Gary? Yes? Whereabouts do. Okay. Gary? Yes? Whereabouts do you live, Gary?

I live in the country in Sefton. Oh. Yeah, I know what Gary's on. Are you a farmer, Gary? Yeah. Oh, God, I love the farmers. Gary. My dad's a farmer.

Is there much reception where you are, phone-wise? Yeah, lots. You get lots? Yeah. Have you finished work for the day, though? Yeah. Clint? I know what he's on. What do you think? Gary's on the landline. I think he's on a landline, too. Gary, are you

calling us from a landline? No. Oh. Try. Gary, is it a Nokia? No. Close. Close? Close. Wait, what else? Are you on a Sony Er a Nokia? No. Close. Is it? Close. Close. Wait, what else?

Are you on a Sony Ericsson? No. What is it, Gary? It's an old Samsung, the button one. Oh! How good's a button one, though, Gary? Oh, it's great. It's great.

It does me wonders. You can text your mates while you're riding your farm bike. Yeah, true, right. Is it still 22 cents a message, Gary? No, I'm on a plane. I love you, Gary. Bree and Clint. Well, you've only just met her.

Sorry, I blacked out. What happened? Zinian's Bree and Clint. Celine Dion. It's happening this Saturday night. You said in your wedding vows to your wife Lucy at the start of this year, you will endeavour to get her a ticket to Celine Dion. Yeah, it was one of my vows.

You didn't know that Celine Dion would then announce that she was going to tour New Zealand. No, I didn't know she was coming this soon and only doing two shows. No, I didn't. You missed out. You nearly paid five grand for some tickets. For two tickets, by the way. For two tickets. But that's how desperate I was for these tickets.

Yeah, I get it. I get it. You wanted to make her happy. I wanted to follow through. We haven't even been married for six months. Yeah. I can't be defaulting on promises this early. You need to do these things.

Anyway, you've missed out. She's devastated. I got wind in the office here that there was a ticket floating about with our boss, Ross. Yeah. I said, is there any way I can get that ticket for my bestie, Clint? I need it for him, just one ticket for his wife, Lucy, to get him back in the good books.

Be nice if you've got two tickets, but yeah, one will do. One will do. We'll take one. As long as she can go. As long as she can go. You'll be happy. My promise is fulfilled. Great.

Ross then said if he can prove his love for Celine Dion, I will give him the ticket because Ross is the biggest fan of Celine Dion. He wouldn't believe it. He's wearing a Celine Dion hoodie today. He's a six foot eight man who loves Celine Dion. I said, what about, and I will put my hand up and say I came up with the idea of you performing a Celine Dion song for Ross. Thank you for that.

But now we're here. So whatever it takes, okay? Whatever it takes. Right. Momentarily, I will follow through. I will do my part. I'm so excited for you. I think you've got this because if you do it well enough,

you'll get the ticket. If not, it'll be no ticket for Lucy. Who gets the ticket? Don't worry about that. Don't worry about that. The song I'll be performing will be the Titanic theme song, My Heart Will Go On. Most iconic Celine Dion song ever.

I've been practising, okay? I've been practising the last 24 hours and it's not really sinking in quite. Mate, you've got this. I'm backing you in. Just before we do this, I want to speak to an expert. So on the phone now, we have Moses Mackay, one of New Zealand's best singers from Sole Mio.

Moses, good afternoon. Hello, Moses. Oh, hello, guys. How you doing? A little nervous. Yeah, a little nervous if we're being honest. Moses, give it to us straight. How hard is it to sing the song My Heart Will Go On?

Well, first of all, this is one of my favourite songs ever made. And second of all, when you've got to sing Celine, you have to have the little gravel in the voice. So, you know, you have to, you know. Every night in my dream. So nice. So, man, Clint, I believe in you, man. That was doing things to me, Moses. Can he come and do it for me?

It would be much more pleasurable for everybody involved. It's too late. You should organise that. Moses, as far as technical aspects of a song go, I started in a certain place with this song and singing it, and then it just goes up and it continues to go up, and then it goes up into a range that I didn't even know existed. So what is your advice to me, a man of zero octaves,

how do I best attack this song? Well, you stand up and you clench your butt cheeks and you give it everything. That is the best vocal advice I've ever heard. By the way... Clint's done that a lot, so he'll be easily able to do that. Moses is in the market for a Celine Dion ticket too, by the way. If anybody needs a date for Celine Dion, he'd like to go too.

Maybe you could bring Moses in. He'll sing for one of Ross's tickets as well. I would love that. I will sing while the concert is going. I will sing there with concert is going. I will sing there with Celine. Yeah. Amazing. Moses, thank you for your help. I don't know how much this is.

I'm just going to cleanse my butt cheeks and go for it. Clinton Roberts' vocal trainer has just given him the tips and next, Clint will take on the biggest song from Celine Dion ever. My heart will go on. One song to warm up. ZD is brilliant, Clint.

I'm about to save Clint's marriage. Clint promised his wife Lucy earlier in the year in his wedding vows that he would get her a ticket to Celine Dion. Yeah. Celine Dion then said she was going to tour New Zealand not long after that. As if it was planned. As if she heard my vows and went, oh, I'll go stitch this guy up. I'll put on a massive show, but I'll limit the tickets and I'll make sure it sells out

before he can get them. You know, I tried to get tickets. Like I tried and it sold out in under 90 seconds. Blah, blah, blah. You didn't get tickets. Right. So I heard in the office, Ross, our boss, who's sitting in studio right now, kind of like a judge from The Voice.

He has a ticket and he said to me, Clint has to prove to me how much he wants this ticket for Lucy. You're the biggest Celine Dion fan there is, right, Ross? I'm currently wearing a hoodie with Celine Dion's face on it. Can I ask, if you're the gatekeeper, what are you looking for in this performance? Just extreme embarrassment, mostly. Because I've been practising and it is an impossible song to get right.

Well, Celine gets it, so why can't you? She's Celine Dion. If you love Lucy, you'll be able to nail this. Oh, don't put that on me. Okay, mate, your love will come out in the song. Mate, I'm here to help you and I've organised a few things. Producer Ben, can we bring them in? Because I know Ross is all about performance and he loves performance, so I've organised a few things. Producer Ben, can we bring them in? Because I know Ross is all about performance

and he loves performance, so I've organised a massive fan. Ben, can we get this fan over here? I'm going to control this fan and I've got a few things here just to set the mood for you, Clint, whilst your performance is happening. Yeah, sure. Because I want you to get the tickets. You know the fan's not going to blow anything

because I had to cut all my hair off after you permed it. It's all right. I've got things to throw into the fan to create atmosphere. Right. So that's the first thing I've organised. Can we bring in the crowd, please? Oh, no, no crowd. It's just Ross.

Because you need to perform in front of a crowd. No, no, no. Yes, can we bring in? Yes. Make some noise for Clint, everyone. Make some noise. Not every girl from the building. There's people from, random people from the building coming in now to the studio.

The studio is filling up. I haven't met half of these people. Yes, bring your drinks in. I've told them. You know what I told them, Clint? What? I told the crowd that it's a live performance

for R&B Friday, for Friday Jams Live. You guys are welcome. It's me doing Celine Dion. Guys, sorry. Usher's not here. It will be Clinton Roberts performing My Heart Will Go On this afternoon.

Special performance for his wife, Lucy, to win a ticket. Ross will be the judge. If we can kick off the music, please. This is Clinton Roberts. My Heart Will Go On, Celine Dion. I need to start solo. Here we go. Thank you for the wind, Brie.

Yes, man, I need more. Every night in my dreams I see you I see you I feel you that is how I know you oh the fan go on Harry more music more music far across the distance and spaces between us You have come to show you Go on Near, far, wherever you are I believe that the heart does...

Oh, shit! Go on. I've got feather and my heart will go on. And on. Okay, this is where it really goes up a notch. Harry, I'm going to need the music, mate. Crowd encouragement! You're here. Sing along!

There's nothing up here. And I know. Oh, shit. My heart will go on. We'll stay Yes, let's be Yes, let's be Forever this way

Every day My heart will My heart will Here we come Go on and on Oh, God. I'll turn this. Turn the fan off. I don't know how.

Turn the fan off. I don't know how. Okay, got it. Oh, no, take that off. I need to know. Take it down. I need to know. Ross. If you missed any, there was take that off. I need a no. Take it down. I need a no. Ross.

If you missed it, there was feathers going everywhere. There was confetti. I'm exhausted. I didn't really feel like you nailed the bridge very well. Could you do it again? No, get lost. Ross, we need a thumbs up or a thumbs down for Clint getting the ticket for his wife, Lucy, to go to Celine.

I'll not only give you a thumbs up, mate. I'll let you go as well. Oh, I said it! Yeah! Lovely. wife lucy to go to celine i'll not only give you a thumbs up mate i'll let you go as well thank you very much what about you do you want to come as well i've got a second girl she doesn't yes i do i do want to come and i did absolutely nothing zedine's brilliant clan it's my birthday it's my birthday Brie and Clint's birthday banger Right, obviously we figure out the song that was number one On your actual 16th birthday And you really have to fight this afternoon

If you want these tickets to Friday Jams You can't pick your birthday banger No, you don't get to pick it But you've got to be a believer in it You've got to petition us This is what was really number one on your 16th So let's get into it First up, Jackie

Hi, Jackie up, Jackie. Hi, Jackie. Hi, Jackie. Hello. First of all, what did you think of my Celine Dion? Oh, it was perfect. It was just like being at the concert. I know, right? I don't even need to go anymore.

Jackie's kissing us. I like it. Jackie, what's your birthday? 16th of September, 1987. Okay, Jackie, you were 16 in 2003 on the 16th of September. And in 2003, this was number one. Oh, Jackie, you got the Crusader. You got Scribe.

Oh, it's bringing back some memories. Yeah, right? I love Scribe. How much do you want that to win? How much do you want to double pass the Friday Jams? Oh, for sure, for sure. Especially Usher. He was one of my favourites back in the day.

How big is Usher coming to New Zealand? That's huge. Michaela, it's your turn. Hi, Michaela. Afternoon, guys. How are you? Good. How are you?

Yeah, good. Thank you. Are you excited about Friday jams? On a scale of one to ten, about 11. Me too, Michaela. Let's see if we can get you some tickets. What's your birthday? 7th of November, 1996.

Okay, Michaela, you were 16 in 2012 on the 7th of November and top in the charts was this. I'm gonna pop some tags. Only got $20 in my pocket. I'm hunting, looking for a comer. This is King Muscle. There you go, Macklemore. How do you rate that as your song to win you a double pass to Friday Jams?

That was a banger. That was a hit. It was a banger. That was a hit. It was a banger. Pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty good. You're in with a chance, I think. The only other song keeping you out of contention is Georgia.

Hi, Georgia. Hi. What's your birthday, Georgia? 27th of July, 2001. Okay, Georgia, you were 16 last year on the 27th of July, and top in the charts last year was this. Oh, Georgia. On the 27th of July and top in the charts last year was this. Despacito. Oh, Georgia. Oh, it's good.

We still play it though. Yeah, I know. Yeah. It's so tough for you because we're in a throwback mood. It's Friday Jams and that song, I mean, banger. It's a banger. Anything you want to say to try and convince us, Georgia? Oh, you know, it was my birthday two weeks ago, so...

Two weeks ago? It was my birthday six months ago. No, okay, let's decide. Oh, let's deliberate. This is big, okay? This is big. This is really big. So you've got Scribe.

You've got Macklemore. Or you've got Despacito. Which one of those are we playing and who is getting a double pass to Friday Jams? I like them all, but if we're really in the spirit... You better say scribe. ...of a throwback, it's got to be scribe. It has to be scribe, right?

It has to be. Jackie, guess what? You're going to Friday Jam's live. I can't wait. I can't wait. Thank you. Bree and Clint. It's the Crusader.

$40,000 up for grabs with Secret Sound next. This is your birthday banger. ZM. This is good. We can't not stop now. Dealing hip hop. Gotta stand up. Still going.

How good is that? That is the winner of Birthday Banger. Scribe and Stand Up, 2003. 2003? 2003. Jackie picked up some Friday Jams tickets. That was the right song. It's timeless, too, that stuff.

Timeless. Scribe, whatever the guy is going through at the song. It's timeless too, that stuff. Timeless. Scribe, whatever the guy is going through at the moment, and he is going through some stuff. He just has that place for New Zealanders where if he was to drop a new album tomorrow, if he could, if he got into the right headspace, boom. He's just a great artist. Yeah, he's great. Zinian's brilliant, Clint.

Speaking of your wife, Lucy. Yeah, are you struggling to get a match on Tinder, Bumble, Grindr, Plenty of Fish, whatever the dating app is that you're using? Science suggests that it could be because you're setting your sights too high. What? So you're saying, are you talking to me directly? No, no, I'm talking. Well, yeah.

Mate, because we know I take what I can get. How's your strike rate? How's your matches at the moment? Is it going well? I just take it where it comes. Oh, please don't say that. Please don't use this. I take it as I can get it.

No, again, don't. Oh, okay, yeah, okay. You know what I mean. So this is an effort to use science to categorise something which can't really be categorised hotness, okay? Right. So they've taken the data from all the users of these dating apps and they've looked.

The people who get swiped the most to say yes, that gives them a percentage, a number which denotes hotness. Okay. And then people that you're swiping yes to, they're saying on average when you're looking at someone, the thing that makes you swipe yes to them, they're saying that person is on average 25% hotter than you are. So you're saying people, on average,

go for someone who's more attractive, and that can be subjective, than themselves. They've raised the bar. Right. They've gone. Why settle, Clint? Why not set the standard high? As someone who...

You've done that. Yeah. Well, anyone who's seen... You're punching. As someone who managed to... And it's not because you're not attractive, mate. It's not because you're not attractive and you don't have a good personality. I think you've got both of those things.

But your wife, Lucy, is next level. Yeah. Like, she's next level hot. Okay, I'll stop talking about your wife Lucy. As a five who locked in a 10. Oh, you're better than a five. I don't need to hear this. I don't know why we're doing this.

I'm just saying if you can do it, fantastic. But it comes with its own risks because this is why. Right. If you had gone into it and you ended up and you've gone to yourself, realistically you've said, I'm a seven. I'm going to date a seven. You're on a level playing field. It's all even.

If you've gone even better, you've gone, I'm a seven. And this is a horrible thing to say. I'm going to date a five. Do I want to say this out loud? You're here now. No, let me not say that one. And let me say, when you set the bar so high, you're constantly at risk of someone coming in.

I just pictured you in a hole going, and just digging this hole, literally. The higher you set the bar, the more likely it is that an ex-bachelor is going to come along and take your partner from you. Does that make sense? Can I just say, someone who's single, myself, every person I've dated, hotter than me, more attractive than me.

And guess what? I'm single. This is a question we're going to ask this afternoon. 0800 dial ZM. Are you like me and you are dating someone who is hotter than you? And are you willing to admit it? Yeah, are you able to admit it? Can you come on and go, yeah.

It's a nice thing too. I'm punching. I'm punching. And how did you do it? And what are the challenges? How did you lock them down? And what's going on? And how did you do it?

And where are they? And can I have one? 0800 dial ZM. Or you can text us on 9696. ZM's brilliant client. We are talking about the reality that science suggests that on dating apps, you aim for someone who's 25% hotter than you.

You go, I'm going to raise the bar. People don't want to settle. I'm going to go for it. And you're not good on you. But that comes with its own challenges. When you land somebody like that, I don't know. Other people want them. If you know they're hotter than you,

you constantly are competing with that someone's texted and said I can admit I'm a seven and he's a ten but he is dumb

so they've gone they've gone yeah I'll take the looks but um he someone said I have people who ask me

how old my daughter is when my wife is only two years older than me. Jeez. Two years older. Even as a bloke, it's tough. It's not funny when I'm only 39 as well. She must look amazing. Yeah, and he must look quite old as well.

Well, maybe not. Maybe she just looks amazing. On 0800 Dialed ZM this afternoon, we're asking the question, are you dating someone hotter than you, and do you know it? Casey, hi. Hi.

Who are you dating, and are they hotter than you, Casey? So, I'm dating my boyfriend. It's still quite recent, but he is definitely way hotter than I am. Why do you think that? Oh, I don't know. Just like, I don't even know how to explain it.

Like how much, Casey? If we're talking like, you know, real talk. I would say it's a solid 10. Hell yeah. Nail that 10. Does that come with, and I know it's a horrible thing to think about, but does that come with like jealousy issues? Does that make you go, oh, he's my 10, and I don't want anybody else to see him?

Like, do you try and get him to dress down when he goes out in public? Not dress down, but I definitely get, you know how every girl gets punched by every girl he's hanging out with? She just makes him wear a T-shirt that says Casey's boyfriend. Oh, at hundreddiles.com, Zach, are you dating someone hotter than you? Oh, yeah, mate. Definitely. Are you punching Zach?

How much? Oh, she's got to be close to the old tin banger. Oh, that's nice. And what would you rate yourself? Oh, I've got to be, I guess on looks, maybe just above five, six. Oh, I bet you're better than that. Zach. Oh, you know, that's all right.

You make up with the rest in chat. You know how it goes. You got some good personality, some good bants. Where did you guys meet? Was it a dating app situation? Oh, yeah, mate. Tinder. Were you surprised?

Was it one of those ones where you swipe it and you go, look, this is just an absolute air ball? It was like, okay, so check this for a laugh. You know, I was pretty strategic with my super likes. I was going to say, was it a super like? It was, and she was like, I only ever swipe right to the super likes. No way. Yeah, she was like, I literally, she'd never met anybody on Tinder.

I'd never met anybody on Tinder. And then, like, even when we met, she didn't even think I was the guy from the profile for like the first car ride when I picked her up. Were you using old photos for you? She thought I was catfishing her.

Hey, but you've made it work. How long have you been together? Like just over two years when I was using her. That's awesome. So you're in there, mate. And you're on a level playing field. When you've been in that long

you're on a level playing field. Especially if you're feeding them up. Oh, yeah. Put a ring on it, mate. I always tell her I'm like like, your looks will fade, but my chest is getting better. Last of all, Tony, are you dating someone hotter than you? Hell yeah, I am.

Where did you meet him, Tony? We also met on Tinder. And when you got the like, when you got the notification that he'd matched with you, were you like, hell yeah? Yeah, I was like, oh, this guy must just like be joking. Oh, come on. I bet you're not bad yourself, Tony. Oh, I don't know.

How good is he? How hot? He is like a 12 out of 10. A 12? That's impossible. Has he got an eight pack? Has he what? Has he got a six or an eight pack?

Yeah, he does. Yeah, but what's his flaw? Like, what's his thing? Nothing. Does he have bad breath? There's nothing wrong about him. Does he not cut his toenails? There's got to be something.

Does he leave McDonald's chips down the side of his car? No way. It's that he's too hot. And he cooks and he cleans. Oh, he's just perfect. Tony, I'd get out if I were you. It sounds too hard to maintain. You don't need that kind of pressure in your life.

Zinni is Bree in Clint. Bree, do you want Wi-Fi on your plane trips? It's a tough question. I've had a really bad experience recently. As you know, I went through a breakup a couple of months ago. Yeah. And literally, I went through a breakup as i was driving to the airport it was brutal i was on the phone to you because you had to go and talk to paul rudd and so you had to go

for our show yeah it was for a work thing and i had to fly to taiwan which is about 14 hour trip and i remember talking to you and i was just crying and i couldn't get it together and you're like it's fine you get on the plane, you have a sleep, take a sleeping tablet, you'll be good. I get on the plane for the first time ever in my whole life and I've flown quite a lot, this plane had Wi-Fi. Okay. And I couldn't bring myself to not use it.

Yeah, I was going to say, was that helpful or not helpful? Because the way I was looking at it was once you're in the air, you've got to shut it off. Exactly right. You can't send the messages that you'll regret later. They don't have a chance to try and talk you out of it or talk you back into it or whatever it is. Aeroplanes, I feel, are the last place where you're truly out of touch.

Literally. And I say that as a good thing. I've heard like super workaholics and business people who talk about how nice it is to get on a plane and have that calm. Because you're forced to log off, you know? It's the last place. Well, it was the last place.

It was the last place. Now more and more planes are getting it. There's been a survey done that said nine, a survey of 9,000 people and two thirds of that. So 6,000 people, 67% actually of passengers said Wi-Fi on planes was now crucial. They would choose the airline that they fly on. Based on that.

Based on whether it had Wi-Fi or not. Really? Yeah. And I don't agree because I don't want Wi-Fi. I want to just put, as someone who's addicted to their phone, I want the chance to put it down. It's actually nice. Even then you pick up your phone and you go,

oh, I wonder how many Instagram posts are like saved down that I can look at, how far back can I go on my Twitter feed without having Wi-Fi. I say bring on the booze. No, okay. Okay. So part of the survey says 53% of people surveyed would rather have Wi-Fi than alcohol on the plane.

No. That's where you can drink and you have no responsibility. And it's normally free. The booze is normally free. The only place, Nellie, where alcohol is free. Drink responsibly, obviously, in the air and on the ground. They say it gets you drunker in the air, eh? Apparently, because of the, what is it?

The air pressure? The altitude? Yeah. That one drink is equivalent to two, but it doesn't hit you until you hit the ground. Really? I didn't know that. Anyway, this is what I fear out of this survey.

So half of people are saying if it's a cost-cutting thing, get rid of the booze, get the Wi-Fi. No. No. What are we talking about here? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? You can do just one trip without wifi

Just one If it's an emergency Go to the pilot And say look I need to make a phone call Can I use the cabin phone? Or something Obviously you're half drunk by that side

Because you've been drinking free booze the whole time But no I'm against it Do you want wifi on planes? Nah It's a chance for me to run away from all my issues. Hey, are you familiar with a lady by the name of Mary Halsey? Never heard of her.

She is. Is that Halsey's mother? Could be. Could be? Could be. Okay. She could be the secret artist who's getting announced for Friday Jams Live. This video of her performing Missy Elliott is going viral everywhere.

Where'd you see it? Twitter, actually. Okay. It's been shared by Missy Elliott herself. No way. It's been shared by Jada Pinkett Smith, Will Smith's wife. It's also been shared by Tina Knowles,

who's Beyonce's mum. Yeah. I mean, how good is this woman? How good is this woman? You just have a listen to this and you tell me how good she is. This is a performance at like a cookout in the States, all right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is my second time exclusive here at Goddard Park

at the Cool Cat Karaoke. Missy's funky white sister is in the park. Also, while she's doing this, she's holding some animal's horn. Is it working? Let me work it. I put my thing down, flip it, and reverse it. He's chirping with his wingyip. He's chirping with his wingyip.

If you got a big... Let me search you. Find out how hard I gotta work you. He's chirping with his wingyip. He's chirping with his wingyipa He's chirping and if his wingyipa Missy Elliot has said, wait, I just found out that I have a funky white sister. She'd be like 45.

Is this woman 45? Yeah, yeah, she's incredible. So is this at a karaoke place? No, it's in a park. She's performing this in front of like a RAV4, just doing karaoke in a park. I love that this in front of like a RAV4, just doing karaoke in a park. I love that it's in front of a RAV4. Her name is Mary Halsey,

and I would not be surprised if very shortly she starts touring New Zealand. Producer Ben, can we please get Mary on the show for next week? I reckon we'd be lucky to get her. I reckon she's blowing up that much. She's got to do Ellen. She's got to do, you know. Do you reckon she'll get on Ellen? A hundred percent. This is what the Ellen show is made for. I reckon she's blowing up that much. She's got to do Ellen. She's got to do, you know. Do you reckon she'll get on Ellen? Oh, 100%.

This is Ellen's. This is what the Ellen show is made for. Well, mate, if we can get her, we will be the only New Zealand radio station to have Mary on the show. There you go. ZM exclusive, Mary Halsey. We'll have her next week to perform.

ZM's brilliant, Clint. Angela Johnson is doing One Night Only at the Sky City Theatre this Sunday night in Auckland. You can get tickets through Live Nation right now and she joins us this afternoon. Hi. Hello. Hello.

This is, I love how she's trying to do her accent. I'm not very good. I like how your name's Angela Johnson, otherwise known as the most viral comedian ever. Oh, thank you. Am I? I'll take it. You 100% are.

The clip of you doing the nail salon bit was huge. Massive. So big. Back in 2007 we actually got a piece of it if you don't remember. So my link starts doing my nails right away. You have boyfriend? No, no, I don't have boyfriend. Honey, why you don't

have? You look so pretty, like model. Cheerleader, something pretty. you like long or short nail uh short nails please thanks oh honey that's why you don't have boyfriend i actually have to confess to you angela say it the amount of times that i've recreated that bit of yours and gotten so many laughs. Oh my God, racist. And then claimed it as my own comedy. I'm like, yeah, no, that's fine. Yeah, it's an original piece.

Yeah, original piece by me. A couple of years ago, you probably don't remember this. You wouldn't remember it. Oh my God, were you at my house? Two and a half years ago. Was that you outside my window? I was in your bed. I wouldn't be surprised.

I mean, your sheets smell amazing. Thank you, Downy. I actually tweeted you two and a half years ago. Did I reply? You did reply. What did I say? So I tweeted you and it was a video of me and I was standing outside my everyday nail salon,

which was called Beautiful Nail. Shut your mouth. And if you haven't heard the piece of Angela doing the nail salon bit, we've grabbed it and you actually say this in your stand-up. No, me and we go over um it's a place called beautiful nail I was kind of confused when I first read the sign though beautiful nail just one just one nail do I get to pick which one or when I saw this in my life. Were you dying? I was dying. And I was like, I need to tweet you. And what did I say back to you?

You literally were like, oh my God, you found it. Like, where are you? Oh, that's so funny. And then you never wrote back. And then I was like. But you're here now. But you're here now. And I thought it'd be cool if we could actually call.

Recreate that tweet. We could. Well, all that. We could call Beautiful Nail, the salon. I can't do it in the accent. No, no, no. No, no, no. Not in the accent.

But I thought we could call them and you could ask if they've got crystal gel. Okay. Which is obviously what you say in your stand-up. Sure, sure, sure. Just to see if they've still got it there, that Beautiful Nail. Okay.

This is like dreams coming true for me right now. Good afternoon, beautiful nail can I have you? Hey, how you going? Good thing, how are you? Good. Do you guys have crystal gel? Crystal gel, no. No?

No, we don't get that. You don't anymore? Because you used to, right? Yeah. Because it's not popular. Oh. What do you use now? We use acrylic.

We use the Dream Gel. We use the S&S dipping powder. Oh, dipping powder. I heard that's good because it doesn't use that light. Okay. Thank you. Bye. Thank you.

Bye. Bye. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Holy shit. I can't believe Angela Johnson just called the actual beautiful nail salon. Can I say? Yeah. I've been touring for 11 years. Never in my life has a radio station had me call a beautiful nail salon.

Like, that's a first. It is a first. In 11 years of touring. I'm so happy with that. Way to go, New Zealand. Like, that's a first. It is a first. In 11 years of touring. I'm so happy with that. Way to go, New Zealand. Yes, everyone. Way to go. Shame about Crystal Jell, though.

I know. She said it's not popular. Not popular anymore. If you want to see Angela Johnson live, you can, but you need to hurry. She's here this Sunday at the Sky City Theatre. Tickets are on sale

through Live Nation. Thanks for coming in. Thank you. ZDM's Brain Clip. What's the most expensive speeding fine you've ever got? Not that bad. Like a... $230? What? Like $230.

No. Oh. No? What? How fast are you going? They must be more expensive in Aussie. How fast do you have to go for a $230? I think I was 8km's over. Whoa. That's how expensive it is. 8km's over. Whoa. That's how expensive it is. 8km's over. What? Am I being gypped? Over here, what did I pay? 60. Yeah, I did

11km's over and I got $60. What? Yeah. Wow. Australia is tough. What a load of BS. Yeah. I think it's something like if you're between like 5 and 8 or 5 and 10km's over, it's like 200 and something dollars. I mean, don't speed and it's important,

but the crime needs to fit the punishment. 8 Ks, 230 bucks. Yeah, mate. And that was a long time ago too. It's probably more now. Anyway, I've just learnt something really interesting. You're going to start speeding in New Zealand. I was going to say, I'm going to make it home really quickly tonight.

No, don't speed. It's bad. This is the actual scale actually I'm going to make it home really quickly tonight. No, don't speed. It's bad. This is the actual scale, actually. Our producer just got it to us. Yeah. 10Ks or less, $30. Okay, 10Ks or less, $30. What?

Yeah. 11 to 15Ks, $80. 16 to 20, $120. So it starts going up rapidly. Wait, I need to look into exactly. What do I Google for that, Producer Ben? What do you want to know? Speeding, like how much it is in Aussie.

Oh. Fine scale in Aussie. Yeah, go and Google it. Google it. Yeah, keep going. I'm listening. To get a $230 fine in New Zealand, you need to be doing between 26 and 30 Ks over the limit,

which is heat. For how much? For $230. That's crazy. I need to look into it because anyway, yeah, can't find it anyway. Right, but hey, it's all relevant because there's a British guy who's gone over to Dubai, so he's on a holiday, and he's decided that he would hire out a Lamborghini

just for a bit of fun. How very Dubai of him. I know, right? So he's hired out this Lamborghini and it's a brand new Lambo. And when you hire it out, you have to leave your passport there because obviously it's a very expensive car. You need it as a down payment. Mate, you have to leave your passport for a scooter in Thailand. That's vicious. That's very true. This guy clocked up in three hours, 33 speeding tickets. In three hours? In three hours.

So let's put it into perspective. So he was driving a $480,000 luxury Lamborghini. Yeah. And he was doing some of the speeding fines included 126 kilometres an hour in a 50 zone. What a douchebag. 230 in a 100 zone. What a douchebag. 230 in a 100 zone. 230? 230 is the highest speed that he was clocked at by the police over in Dubai.

It's probably what the limiter is on their Lamborghini. How would he even get that up to that speed on a public road? Like what a lunatic. Very quickly. What an idiot. Anyway, so now they're in a battle because he's dropped the Lamborghini off and essentially the fines have gone back to the owners of the

Lamborghini. Oh, because he got his passport and boosted and the fines arrived in the mail later. No, no, no. So he's ditched the passport. He's ditched it. So he's left the Lamborghini there with the keys on the roof at the place when it was like early in the morning so no one was there.

He's left his passport and now these people who obviously hire out these cars are terrified that he's going to go to the embassy and just say, oh, lost my passport. And they're going to be left with $33, 33 fines worth of money. Yeah, but let's get real here. He's a foreigner with no passport in Dubai. Like it's not exactly the kind of country when you, and they hate debt over there as well. You're not allowed to be in debt.

They find, he's going to, yeah, he's going to prison for the rest of his life. Yeah, bye-bye to that guy. Zeddy's brilliant, Clint. I want you to think about that feeling you get when you get a bad haircut. You know, when you're in the chair and you can tell that it hasn't gone to plan and maybe it's eyebrows, maybe it's whatever it is. God, it takes me back to a few times where, especially as a woman, because if you've got long hair and something goes wrong,

it's not an easy fix. It's taken you a long time to cultivate that, right? No, it's so bad. The feeling is the same for men though because it's all relative. You still look like crap in the moment. And you have to walk out of there pretending that you like it? Yeah, that's the same for men though because it's all relative. You still look like crap in the moment. And you have to walk out of there pretending that you like it? Yeah, that's the thing. And they always hold the mirror up and they say to you,

so what do you think? You know? And it's not quite right, but you just stomach it. Over in New York, there's a story that's going viral at the moment out of Brooklyn. Oh, no. Where they don't just take it, they speak their mind. A lady had her brows done.

Okay. Didn't think they did a very good job. Said to them, I'm not happy with this. I'm not going to pay for it. And they said, well, if that's the case, we'll call the police. The police can come. And if the police say that we did a bad job, then you don't have to pay. I love that.

Yeah. But if the police say that we did our job properly, then you have to pay. It didn't get as far as the police. It turned into an all-out brawl. What do you mean? In the hairdressing salon? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the girl was there with some friends getting her eyebrows done.

They started fighting every lady in the beauty salon as well. A cat fight. Listen to this. This is the sound of, oh. How many people are involved? About ten Show me That's the sound of one of the ladies from the salon

Beating one of the other ladies with a pole Not funny Oh no no no not funny Shouldn't condone violence Well the escalation's pretty funny Like it's all over some eyebrows And what was probably a $45 job. Like, just let them go.

Or just pay your money and leave and never go back. What are you? Are you someone who says something? Or do you just nod and say, I love it? Say, I love it, and then leave and put a hat on. Yeah. And then you leave and you cry in your car? No.

Just me? Okay. ZDM's brain clip. I want to tell you the story about a Kiwi doing it big in London at the moment. Is it not? Please tell me it's not a story where someone's making a ton of money. Yeah. Makes me feel bad.

So his name's Tim Baker. Let me guess. He's really young. Yeah, he's 29. Oh, God damn it. He's 29. You could do this though. Look at it.

Oh, this is what they all say. Look at it positively. I feel like I'm reading an article on the internet that says, quit your job and work from home. You earn lots of money. Maybe you want to do this. Okay. Maybe you want to do this.

He's 29. I'm not stripping again. He's from the Hawke's Bay. Some people listening now will know him. His name's Tim Baker. He has made $42,000 since Christmas on the streets of London selling toilet paper with Donald Trump's face on it. Oh, my God.

What a brilliant idea. What a brilliant idea. So he has a licence, which means he's allowed to push a trolley around the streets and just vend on the streets. It's called a peddler's permit. Okay. And he can just walk past people and go,

hey, man, you want some Donald Trump toilet paper? And that's it. Do you feel like he would make more if he was in America or he would get bashed? He has said that he sells them to people all over the world because he believes he's universally disliked. Even in the UK though, the Brexiters would be angry

and they'd go, we love Trump over here. That's true. So he's going to get it anywhere he goes but probably safer to do it in London. The trick to his business, the genius is it's three bucks a roll. Oh, that's cheap. It's cheap. I'd actually buy that. And then you get to wipe your bum with Donald Trump's face.

I've already done that. Wait, what? It was a long night. Hey, hang on, what? You can print his face on any paper, mate. Oh, my God. I thought you were talking about a weird sitting on Donald's... Oh, door! Whoa!

Zinni's brilliant clint.