ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – August 11th 2020

Episode Date: August 11, 2020

Attractive accents according to the BritishLatest with Dean McCarthyConference call gone wrongAre you old and do you have a tattoo?TimTam vs PenguinChristchurch WizardInsta Fame Game!What did they think WASN’T cheating?Birthday Banger!ABBA newsNew pub crawlSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi everybody, just a quick disclaimer, what you're about to hear is 11 minutes of toilet chat. If that's not your buzz, skip forward 11 minutes and you'll miss it all. Which I'm sure it is a lot of people's buzz, and if that's not your buzz, there's a mystery that gets solved. It doesn't get solved! It's a disclaimer, it's a short. It's about 15, it's about a 15 year old mystery, and it turns out someone on this team was involved.

No, no. Okay, podcast. Hi everybody. year old mystery and it turns out someone on this team was involved no no okay podcast hi everybody oh excuse me and welcome to the brilliant clint podcast no advice on how to unshrink my jeans it's gonna put it out there at the start not oh not one bit i'm so sorry that i'm starting to think it's me i think i've outgrown the genes. We're not talking about the genes again. Can we talk about my other thing? It's tomorrow. It's always about you. $43 million in Lotto. No, it'll be about you in a second. Are you turning the big 43 tomorrow? Are you turning this podcast into

gambling chat? I'm not talking about Lotto again. Okay, fine. Can I talk about gambling for a second though? Ben won $500. Whoa. Yeah, that's true. In your bloody stupid rugby thing. Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, it might be bloody and stupid, but it is also a rugby thing. Did you bet on the Crusaders or something? Yeah, there's five of us and we all had a team. Oh, did you bet the Crus?

Well, yeah, because I'm from Christchurch. Yeah, good team. Two Christchurch lads over there having some... And then Clint had the cheater who came dead last. I just want someone To talk to rugby league

About for once Go on then Alright Who's your favourite team Yeah Huh No no no Who drive the league chat

Come You don't know Who my favourite team is Blues No They're not even In the competition That's a separate thing

Well To be honest I don't really want to Talk about my team at the moment because they are not doing all that well. Are they doing better or worse than the Warriors? Broncos for life. Oh, that is better.

Yeah, which is very unusual. The Broncos are doing as well as the Chiefs. Anyway, I'll talk about something else then. Bring it up. Go on. I did have something to ask, but now I forget. Can we go back to Super Rugby and gambling until you figure it out? No.

I wanted to talk about what I talked to you about the other day. One of the most frustrating things, because we're on tour at the moment, and we're going around the country. We're on tour. We're a band. Yeah. Well, we are on tour. We are on tour, yeah.

We're touring around the country. The road life is for me. We are on the road. I a band. Yeah. Well, we are on tour. We are on tour, yeah. We're touring around the country. The road life is for me. We are on the road. I'm a journeyman. Every Friday. Where I lay my head is home. And one of the worst things about staying in a hotel, and I'm very grateful that we get to stay in a hotel.

It's great. But why do they never have a damn toilet brush next to the toilet in the hotel? There's got to be a conspiracy why don't they yeah because if you do what are they like no no no ma'am that's our job please skid up your toilet we'll deal with that once every 24 hours how embarrassing is it where you know the maid's coming in yeah and there's no way like i don't go just when we share a room, Brie. Yeah, that too. Let's not talk about that at the station. That room in Hamilton. Won't be going back there, will we, Brie?

I did not leave skid marks in that room. You did not leave skid marks? No, thank you. Do you want to know? This is going to piss you off. And I don't usually indulge number twos chat. But, just to make you hate men even more. What? And Ben will back me up. Oh my god, you poo standing up me up Oh my god you poo standing up

No we don't poo standing up No But we can We can We the skid marks off the bowl Yeah He's just pointed at it And it's like a

Game It's like a It's like a shoot em Like a Wait Wait Wait Wait

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Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait When you do twos... Always ones. You do ones, but is it sitting down? Yes. Yeah. Do you secretly love it? No. No, it's fine. No. What pride do you get about standing up? You guys are idiots.

Sitting down is the best. I didn't want to have this much toilet chow. I wish I had contributed. It's why it's called a toilet break, because you're having a break. Yeah. Like, you're sitting down on the toilet. What we're doing right now is technically a toilet break as well. Yes, that's right.

Radio break. When we went, I'll do one more disgusting thing because I feel like it makes you happy. When we went to Wellington and the bathrooms that we had in Wellington. Oh, memories. Ben didn't come. Sorry, Ben. Yeah, sorry, Ben. So this is a new story for me.

I sat down to do my business. Oh, I know what you're talking about. I don't. And the water level in the toilet was too high, and my thing went in the water. The end of my thing was dangling in the water. The water must have been very high. We had this issue in the woman's toilet,

because I went a couple times. It's too high. It was one of those ones that splashes up on the on the sea. I've never felt more disgusted in my life. I don't think you realise my dipstick went into the water. Yeah. Clint's. It wasn't splashback which is quite common. No. It was

the thing. He went fishing with his thing. It was a link fishing. I dropped my line in. He dropped a worm in. Nice. Ew that makes me feel sick. And I had sat down to go number twos, obviously. That's why I was sitting down. And did you get a wet bump?

Because I did. No, I couldn't do my number twos because my thingy was hanging in the bowl. Does that mean did you have to hold it out? I got off and I had a shower. Yes, man. You had to reel it back in. You did it in the shower. You waffle stomped.

No, yeah, I've had enough. No, I've had enough. Yeah reel it back in. You did it in the shower. You waffle stomped. No, yeah. I've had enough. No, I've had enough. Yeah. I've reached my limit. That was the answer. Anyway, anyway, anyway, anyway, anyway. Wonderful stay.

Wonderful stay. We loved where we stayed. It was a wonderful place. It was lovely. My one criticism of that was... That's the only criticism. It was actually beautiful. There was coffee.

My one criticism is that my wanger went into the toilet water. Mine is that there was no toilet brush. And Ben has just Googled it. Ever been to a hotel, used water. Mine is that there was no toilet brush. And Ben has just Googled it. Ever been to a hotel, used the toilet, and wished there was a toilet brush? Most hotels don't have them because they're filthy, messy, and unhygienic. But necessary. But they're also necessary. You just have to change them often.

Yeah. We don't get in trouble with this. Our work has the most disgusting toilet brushes. Oh, my God. It's like they bought toilet brushes when they built this building, and then they're like, well, those will do us for life. Yeah. You know what's the worst about the ones here?

Yeah. Is they're the ones that break off halfway. Yeah. You know? And you've got to try and screw the thing back on. Yeah. It's falling into the toilet, and then you have to grab it out. It's just a bad time.

Were you included in the women's toilet chain email that went around check her emails don't know what was that um last week three of the four toilets in the woman's block at work um they actually got blocked so we got sent an email wait what day was this this was yesterday just reminding us they sent it to all the women in our floor just reminding us all on common proper toilet practices. No, but what day did they get blocked? Yesterday. Oh, wait, are you teeing up a joke? No, I thought you said the email got sent on Monday

and I was hoping you said that this was on Friday and I was like, well, I wasn't here. Oh, no, you weren't here. You know, it could be the after floor Friday and you weren't here, so. I hope, well. Who knows? We weren't here, me. I hope, well. Who knows? We weren't here, me and Anastasia. No.

I'll tell you another disgusting story. Where I used to work at the other radio company, because there's only two radio companies in New Zealand, and when I worked at the other one. So you can figure out what that is. The women's toilet had an issue. Yeah. I've heard about this.

You've heard about it. That's how big a deal it got. There was someone called the mystery shitter who would do their number twos on the floor in front of the toilet. Yeah. This is so weird. We had a mystery shitter at my like two radio stations okay we need to cross reference exactly all the people who worked at that radio station when you

were there and all the people who worked at the radio station that i was at in the time that i was there i need to call my friends and find out what the years were yeah they never found her so wait yours is more hectic than mine So she would go on the floor Regular right Regularly go on the floor And they could not figure out who it was And they started doing all kinds of detective work And there was a Facebook group And they were worried that the person who was doing it

Was in the Facebook group Because she must be Because they put everybody in there So the only way And it was going on for so long The only way they had of figuring out who it was Was when someone left the company They said Well guests are about to find out If you were the mystery shitter Because if it stops only way they had of figuring out who it was was when someone left the company they said, well, guess

we're about to find out if you were the mystery shitter, because if it stops, then it was you. But if you were smart, you'd sneak back in and do a couple every now and then. Yeah, really cut your tracks. So, my question is the mystery shitter did it on the floor, was it in a cubicle

near the toilet, or was it just in the open near the basin? Should we call Sharon and find out? I want to know. Get her on, hang on. Because our mystery shitter, she would go into this one toilet that was the best toilet. You know how there's always one better toilet? And she would go into the best

toilet and then she would shit. We called it Kanga style. So it's like have you guys ever heard of that? Kanga. No. Kanga. She would kangaroo.

Yeah, so she would sit on the toilet front ways so that her poo would hit every side of the toilet. Oh, I've heard that called a rollback. Yeah, a Kanga. And then she would just leave it and she wouldn't flush anything. Anyway, they were trying to catch this woman for like, I'm joking, like three years. And then all of us ladies would get accused of it. Did you get accused?

Yeah, everyone did. It was horrible. Hey, Sharon. Sharon, it's Clint and Bree's here as well. You're on our podcast. Hello, mate. One quick question. Were you the mystery shitter?

The what? No, don't come in that hot, mate. Clint is claiming. Stop it. One quick question Were you the mystery shitter? The what? No, don't come in that hot mess Clint is claiming Stop it Clint is claiming that you are the mystery shitter No, not true Not true, Sharon I was just telling the story about the mystery shitter

From the building that you and I used to work in together Ah, no Sadly that wasn't me I'm a real clockwork gal. It's not happening at work for me. I know it wasn't you. But interestingly enough, it did end when Clint left. No, shut up.

No. And just because it was in the female toilet doesn't mean... And also, we all know Clint. He's very vain. Not going to lie. We have a massive mirror in the girls' toilet, and he would always come into yours and take a chair. Very good.

You should come in our podcast more often. I perhaps would use the women's toilets on the weekend, okay? So you're saying you have used the women's toilets? Excuse me. Clint and Paul Roberts, you were caught walking out of the women's bathroom at 1.37pm one day, and we all found out that that's where you took your shit, okay? Oh my God! No, no, no, no, no.

No, this is the best, because in a movie, a twist like this would happen. All the women get accused, turns out to be a man. It was, it was and don't even get me started about the time he had Actually, no, I won't tell the only podcast fuck you Sharon I got you. I got you on here for some special insight I'm getting rid of her No, no, it's alright What about the time that I saw your penis Alright, see you, see you Sharon I love you Sharon You're my favourite Come back any time

Sharon's gone now You can't talk to her anymore Toilet tales Tune in for more So I'm convinced it was Clint Anyone else? This is why I don't do this kind of conversation This is why I

Because you don't want to be found out To be the mystery shitter Can you put like a bloody disclaimer On the front of this podcast, Ben? Yeah, well, you have to voice it. How long is this, Ben? Too long. Why? What's why?

Pooing is a completely normal thing. All right, here's the podcast, everyone. Hey, Google, what's the time? It's 3 p.m., give or take a minute. Alexa, play ZM on iHeartRadio. Playing ZM on iHeartRadio. Hey, Siri, when are Bree and Clint on? Bree and Clint are on air in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Kia ora, everybody. Welcome to the show, Bree and Clint. G'day, everyone. G'day, everyone. G'day. Oh, g'day, everyone. I am so sore. Why?

I just want to say that. I just want to have a little whinge. Go on, yeah, go on. For the first time in like two and a half years, I played a game of soccer on the weekend. Yeah. And I'm so sore I can barely walk. Yeah, you've got that after

30s body going on. Excuse you. No, only in the pain way. In the pain way. I feel like I literally have more lactic acid build up than the normal person. I don't know. Is that a thing?

Yeah, it is. It's called the over 30 body effect. Is it? Oh, yeah. Like, this is the problem. You won't feel like that if you played football regularly. I don't think so. But you would have to be training like three times a week. You'd basically have to be pushing through that lactic acid pain

every single time you wanted to train. That's why you see people in their 40s when they go to sit down. It's not just sitting down. It's, oh, and then they're in the chair. And that's why they don't want to get up again. Even before I played this game of soccer, the only exercise I've done in such a long time, I know I'm old because I wake up and I've got injuries.

From sleeping? Yeah. You've got injuries. From sleeping? Yeah. You've got sheep. Like my shoulders sore or my hip. Hey, today on the show, we've got heaps to give away. We're giving away limited edition Simpsons sketches in the next 15 minutes. We're looking for a Simpsons super fan. And the 50K fact of the day is here at 4 o'clock.

$500 up for grabs if you can answer our fact of the day question. Yeah, so not long to wait for that. Just over an hour. Next though. Oh, this is good. Remember how New Zealanders got voted the sexiest accent in the world last year?

I remember. I can't let it go. How could I forget? I'll never let it go. I'm still living off it. A new study. Who do Brits find the sexiest? People from Britain.

Who do they think has the sexiest accent? Is it themselves? I'll tell you who it is. Put it this way. They feature, Kiwis feature, and Australians feature as well. Let me guess. The Kiwis have beaten us again. No, you don't know that for sure.

I do know. You don't know that for sure. Or else you wouldn't be talking about the story. British people, text us. Tell us who you find sexy. Tell you after new Benny on ZM. Brie and Clint. Hey, who do British people find the sexiest when it comes to their accent?

That's what a new poll has tried to find out. Because, of course, we all know New Zealanders have the sexiest accent in the world. Well, it did get voted the sexiest last year. Yeah, last year. And that's true. It's definitely true. I've heard myself. I listen to my podcast.

Sorry, our podcast. You said to me that you turn yourself on with your accent. Yeah, I can if I need to. It's like a turbocharger for the bedroom. Just whack on some brilliant Clint podcast. Wouldn't have said that. Wouldn't have said that at all. A survey

has been done of a thousand Brits and they've said, which extent sexy turns you sexy on? Brits. They gave them a particular phrase to listen to. They listened to 40 different people of 20 different

nationalities saying the same sentence. Gotcha. We've actually had your British flatmate, Bree, say the sentence for us so we can get a true feel of how it sounds to them. Yep, this is my flatmate, Ben, and he is in fact British. In Britain, we can expect rain at any time

of the year. While winter is wetter than summer, seasonal differences in rainfall are very small. Yeah, so proper. So very proper. He's very fancy, isn't he? Very fancy. Most British people are. Now, before I reveal who ranked where, let's hear an Australian example. Brie, give us an example, please.

In Britain, we can expect rain at any time of the year. While winter is wetter than summer, seasonal differences in rainfall are very small. Struth, I don't know about you, but that was pretty sexy to me. That was pretty sexy to me. I turned down the Aussie. Yeah, right. Yeah, because I get quite a lot of crap for it.

I'll give you a quick Kiwi. Go on. In Britain, we can expect rain any time of the year. While winter is wetter than summer, seasonal differences in rainfall are very small. There you go. That's British. Okay.

Okay, now we can reveal the results. What have you got planned? No, I've got nothing planned. Just the top 20 results, okay? We won't do all 20. I know exactly why you're doing this. Just do a couple of highlights. Number 15 out of 20, Italian.

Root. Oh, Italian's hot. Italian is hot. All day. You snooty Brits. Any day. Thisude. Oh, Italian's hot. Italian is hot. All day. You snooty Brits. Any day. This is classic Brexit from the Brits. This is exactly what they do.

Vintage British Brexit. If they've put Italian at 15, they don't know what they're talking about. 10, number 10, American. Okay. I don't, love you, American. Depends where you're from. But I don't particularly find the American accent. Some American accents I find very charming. Yeah, right. Okay. I don't... Love you, Americans. Depends where you're from. But I don't particularly find the American accent.

Some American accents I find very charming. Yeah, right. Okay. Number four, Australian. I'm happy with four. Four's not bad. Yeah, four's not bad. You're in the top five sexiest accents of British people.

I don't know if they're hearing what we're all hearing. And number two, or you could say the winner of the poll of sexiest accents according to the British, the second sexiest is... New Zealand. We win. Number two, we won. Well, you did it because what's number one? No, that's fine.

We won. Number one was themselves. All right? I knew it. They're so stuck up themselves that they chose themselves as the sexiest accent. I knew it was going to be themselves. So two has to be default, I guess. I guess we are the winner.

So thank you very much. Next, we're looking for our Sompsons super fan. If that's you, we're looking for two people to play on 0800 Dial ZM right now. You've got to correctly pick the Simpsons character in your Winner Simpsons sketch thanks to Disney+. Still a lot of S's. So many S's. So many.

We'll be back in a second. Bree and Clint from iHeartRadio. This is The Latest. Live from LA with Dean McCarthy. Dean McCarthy, due to have a baby with Katy Perry any day now, Orlando Bloom has come out and spoken about why he quit Hollywood. Yes, and you may have noticed, of course, he was such a big name. He was everywhere.

He was in, of course, the Pirates of the Caribbean. He was in Lord of the Rings. Orlando Bloom was such a massive star. He told Page Six today, this is like a reputable source, right, and he's gone out on record saying he could not stand the sight of himself. He was just everywhere. You think about it, you look back, he was everywhere.

He was on every billboard. He was on every trailer. He was in every cinema because those franchises were so enormous. He could not stand the fame and the attention. It was just so overwhelming. He took a massive step back from the spotlight. He's now, however,

doing a new film called Retaliation. So we've been wanting to see more of him and it's coming back. But, you know, he also confessed the other day in an interview, he and Katy Perry were thinking about moving down towards your neck of the woods to Australia. So I don't know how many big movie roles he'll be doing down there, down under, but that would be a very cool

neighbour for you guys to have. He'd be fine. He could team up with Chris Hemsworth. And now Zac Efron's talking about moving to Byron Bay as well. Yeah. Yeah. It's amazing that even superstars get sick of themselves because I always wondered that when Ed Sheeran is at the height of his powers and he has like four songs on every single radio station,

does he get sick of it? Does he go, man, this is too much. This is too much Ed Sheeran. Too much me. And I am Ed Sheeran, you know? It's interesting to hear that even they get sick of it. Dean, this is off the back of a very similar story where Cameron Diaz spoke out about nearly the exact same thing last week

as to why she decided that she wasn't going to really do any movies anymore as well. I know, it was so mind-blowing because she was a massive, massive, massive star, remember? She was everywhere. And just like that, she said she felt overexposed. She said in her interview that she felt like all these people around her were controlling her life, which is a very, very true statement for those stars. They've got the agent, the manager, all these people, the producers, everyone literally driving their life, and they're just in the passenger seat.

It was so much that she needed to take a step away, and she never came back. She married one of the, I've just gone blank, good, what was her name? Good Charlotte guys. Yeah, one of the Madden brothers. Oh, yeah, she did. Benji or Joel.

Joel, one of them. One, I think Benji. Joel Madden. Joel Madden, there you go. Joel, yeah, right. Yeah, and you've got to respect that. They go, I've had enough. And she left on a high.

Like, she was one of the biggest movie stars in Hollywood. This is my opinion with Ellen at the moment. It's like what have you got left to prove? You're rich. You've done it all. Why not just go, all right, I guess you don't want to leave when people think you're an evil genius. Well, she can't leave now because she's not leaving on a high, is she?

Good point. Next and latest, live out of Hollywood with our correspondent, Dean McCarthy. Look, mum has had a bit of a whoopsie at home because her husband is still working from home and they were also toilet training their five-year-old at the time. So they've come up with this plan to toilet train their five-year-old that every time they go to the bathroom,

they come out and they announce that they've been to the bathroom. Like a celebration. And then everyone cheers and celebrates and claps. Yeah. In the hope that. That's interesting because I've heard that's what happens at your house. It does, actually. That's how they toilet train me.

We still do it. Yeah, you do it with your partner now. You can be like. Woo! Yes, man! She's done it. She's done it. Third time today.

You go. You go, girl. Anyway, so they're thinking behind it is that it'll get them excited. Yeah. Get the same praise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. Positive affirmation.

Yeah, it makes sense. Anyway, she didn't think about the fact that she has come down the stairs this one afternoon and she's announced, I went poopy on the potty. And then everyone was silent. Yeah. And then her husband has looked at her with like deer in the headlights. And she's realised that he's on a national conference call with his whole company.

Who announced it, the kid or the wife? The wife. So, you know, parents obviously on that conference call would probably understand. Everyone else would just be like, that is a weird household. I thought, you know, I want to get in the mind of, you know, what she would have felt like, how embarrassing that would have been. We're allowed back at work. So instead of doing it over conference call, I thought I'll just go out into the office and announce that I've went poopy on the potty.

All right, well, best of luck. We can pet you in now. It's just hit me how embarrassing this is going to be. Now, you sure this is what you want to do? Once you do it, there's no going back. And I know that they're not listening to the radio out there So they won't know that this is a radio gag Yeah, right

Look, it's going to be embarrassing I'm just about to step out in the office But I feel like you've got to put yourself outside your comfort zone Right Hold on, be quiet I'm just walking out I'm just making my way Everyone

I went poopy On the potty Congratulations Finally Wow she did get a round of applause It's a round of applause guys I've got a round of applause for doing a poo That's good

Yeah well done Well come on back then That's good stuff You might have just made ZM Employee of the Month with that Congratulations Look I can't come back to work out in the office ever, but hey, it's a good result. Bree and Clint.

What do you think is a good age to make a decision about getting a tattoo? Because you need to be sure. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Or, I don't know, some people pull off. It's all about mindset. You've got to be confident.

And I think if you are, then you'll make the right decision and you'll be cool with it. But me, I haven't reached the age because I can't bear the fact that I'd get something tattooed on me and then a year later I'd regret it. Yeah, see it's hard. I think if you want a tattoo for more than two years and

you're above the age of 18 then... Oh, you've been wanting it for more than two years. I think that's a factor. Dude, the tattoos are for life. They're not just for two years. No, I think that's a factor. Like if you want it for more than two years. I think that's a factor. I was like, dude, the tattoos are for life. They're not just for two years. No, I think that's a factor. Like if you want something for longer than two years, then maybe you can.

Someone told me that if you want to get a tattoo, get it drawn out on a piece of paper exactly how you want it and hang it on the wall of your bedroom or somewhere where you are every day. Put it on the bathroom mirror. Somewhere where you're going to see it every single day. And if in six months you still love it as much as you loved it in the first place, then it's sweet to get it tattooed.

It's not realistic though because if you get a tramp stamp, then you don't see it at all. So it's fine. You're getting a tramp stamp. Yeah. Get your partner to look at the picture every fortnight. And twice on their birthday. Jeez, you're getting gypped.

There's a grandmother over in the States, actually, and she's just turned the ripe old age of 103. Oh, yeah? And she's decided that she wants to get her first tattoo. Good for her. It's on her bucket list. So she's ticking things off that bucket list. She's been in lockdown at the nursing home that she lives at,

so she hasn't been able to celebrate her birthday yet. Yeah. But recently she was allowed out for the day and she went down to a place called AWOL Custom Tattooing. Yeah. And she got a tattoo. I don't mean to be rude, but I wonder if they have to change the dimensions and stuff for older skin. Well, apparently I have heard before that I think, yeah,

older skin is a little bit different, so you have to change your tact maybe a little bit. Remember that magazine, Mad Magazine? Do you remember that? Yes. And it had the Folden picture on the back of it? Yeah. I imagine if you had older skin, you could do that.

You'd like a double tattoo where it looks like one thing when it's stretched out and then when the skin wrinkles back up. Oh, yeah, that's a good idea, like a book. It looks like something else. Yeah, or like a transformer. Oh, yeah. When it's wrinkled up, it's Bumblebee. And then when it's stretched out, it's...

A car. Yeah. Or something. I don't know. Well, she ended up getting a frog and it looks quite good actually. Oh, yeah. It's a nice frog. I thought it looks awesome.

Jeez, long time to wait just to get a frog. 103 years and you go, nah, I'm going to get this frog. She should have got a full blown like tribal arm tattoo. Sleeve, yeah, yeah, yeah. Full sleeve. Yeah, or knuckle tattoos. Knuckle, yeah. I'd say bad grand or something like that.

That would have been dope. Go in. Yeah, why not? Go in. 103 years old. She's a bad grand or something like that. That would have been dope. Go in. Yeah, why not? Go in. 103 years old. She's doing pretty well. She's 103. Neither of my parents have tattoos.

And I think that's a big part of why I don't have any. Neither of my parents have tattoos either. But that didn't stop me from getting dumb tattoos. You've got a few. Excuse you. It's okay when I say it. Not okay when you say it. Not okay when you say it. I know that you don't like your tattoos because you never show them off.

No, I probably should get them removed. It's just something I haven't got around to. I'm keen to hear from some people who know, who have like grandparents or older friends, like maybe you're friends with a really old person and they've got some sick tats. Maybe they got them recently or maybe they're rocking some old school like navy tats.

Yeah, I'd love to hear about those. My pa, he fought in Papua New Guinea for the Anzacs and he had war tattoos. Yeah. And that was the first time I ever saw tattoos and I was like. Tattoos were different back then. These are very different types of tattoos. Very different. They weren't as sharp.

No. You know, there wasn't as much. You definitely had to ask granddad what his tattoo was of. Yeah. Yeah. And then when he told you, I still couldn't really see it. Oh, there wasn't as much. You definitely had to ask Grandad what his tattoo was of. Yeah. Yeah. And then when he told you, I still couldn't really see it. Oh, 800 Dialed ZM, who's the old person that you know with tattoos?

And what do they have? Yeah. And what's the story? Yeah. And are you old and do you want to get a tattoo? Yeah. I'd like to hear from those people. If we hear from someone really old who wants to get a tattoo, we can get that organised for you.

We'll make it happen. Yeah, we can do that. You can also text us on 9696. There's a grandmother over in the States who has turned 103 and for her 103rd birthday she decided to get a tattoo. She's got inked up. First tattoo that Dorothy Pallack has ever gotten and's a frog, and she loves it. I'm only looking at her close-up.

Where is that? Is that her forearm? I think it's on her forearm, yeah. Yeah, dope. And I reckon it's only her first tattoo. That's what they say, eh? Once you get one, you get addicted. You're like, got to get another one.

And you want to get a sleeve. Got to get another one. So she'll probably be back to get a full sleeve. Get a sleeve. Neck tats are pretty in. She could get an NRL player style neck tat going on. Red tats are quite popular. Post Malone style face tat.

The world is her oyster. So we want to know old people with tattoos. Do you know them? Hi, Lindy. Hi, Lindy. Hi. Hi. Who do you know that's got a tattoo and how old are they?

It's me. I got most of mine in my late 50s. Yes, Lindy. Yes, Lindy. I'm now in my early 60s. Yes. And they were mementos of a trip to Africa. Oh, nice.

So, Lindy, did you always want to get tattoos, or just one day you decided, I'm going to get a tat? No, I think I've always liked them, but was never brave enough until I got old enough not to care. Talk me through what you got. What's your African memory tattoos? I've got a zebra. I've got a great white shark. I've got a zebra. I've got a great white shark. I've got a gorilla. Where are they, Lindy?

Mostly arms and shoulders. Oh, cool. Are there any on your list that you haven't been able to get yet? No, I think I'm probably done for now. Because where do you live? Where do you live? Where do I live? Yeah.

In Palmerston North. Because if we came to Palmy one time and we, would you live? Where do you live? Where do I live? Yeah. In Palmerston North. Because if we came to Palmy one time and we, would you come and- Would you get matching ones with Clint and I? No, no, no, no. I'm not offering up to get a tattoo. Yeah, do you want to get matching ones with me? Just saying, if there was a free tattoo on offer, is there anything that you'd like to get done?

Yeah, probably. Yeah, right. I just had heart surgery and I want to get a memento of that. Okay. Well, you should. Okay. Yeah, that'd be awesome. Well surgery and I want to get a memento of that. Okay. Well, you should. Okay. Yeah, that'd be awesome. We'll keep your details, Lindy.

Thank you. Stacey's here. Hi, Stacey. Hi, Stace. Hi. How are you getting on? Good, thanks. Who's the person you know that's got a tat?

So I used to work in a nursing home and there was a lady there who was an ex-biker, ex-rocker chick, and she had a full body tattoo that was in the shape of a one-piece swimming suit. No way. Like a wetsuit? Yeah, like a swimming costume. That's awesome. What age are we talking?

She was late 90s. She was like 97, 98. That's incredible. God, people who were just, you know, going against the grain before their time. Oh, she was a proper rock chick. And she started having them when she was really young and she kept adding to them and adding to them and adding to them, you know, into her late 60s, 70s.

She was older when she had them. She loved them. And she would tell me stories about them. Oh, God, I'd love to talk to someone like that. Did you ever have to bathe her? Yes. And every time you go to bathe her, did you always do the joke, oh, you have to take your swimsuit off, love?

I did that a couple of times, yes. She would have loved it knowing that type of person that she would have been. Annette's here last. Hi, Annette. Hi, Annette. Hi. Who's the older person that has the tats? Well, no tats yet, but my mum turned 65.

And she wants a tat. Yeah, yeah, in the mum turned 65. And she wants a tat? Yeah, in the middle of lockdown, and so it was a bit of a gutting retirement birthday for her, so she's decided she wants her first, and probably last. What does she want to get, Annette? She hasn't figured it out yet,

but it was a bit of a shock to us as a family, because she's very Brady Bunch, you know, bakes. Yeah, what about something topical, like like 2020 kiss my ass or something like that? Can you imagine Carol from the Brady Bunch turning around going, I think I want to get an arm tat. Is that your mum, Annette? Bree and Clint.

You may have seen in the news recently a rival biscuit to the Tim Tam. We found out about a couple of weeks ago, Bree, that in the UK, they don't have Tim Tams. I don't know what they are. No, they believe their version of the Tim Tam is called a penguin. Yeah, we talked about it, and you tricked me into thinking I was trying a penguin when I wasn't. You didn't have any penguins for me to try.

No, you can't buy them here, no. One of our UK-based listeners, Kevin Evans, got in contact and he said, mate, you want to try penguins? I'll send you some penguins. And we've got them. He sent us a family pack of 21 penguins, which according to all the articles... That was a lot of freight for a lot of animals.

Right? According to the article, it's the British version of a Tim Tam. That's what they're saying. They're saying it's a little bit different in size, but pretty much the exact same biscuit. I've devised a taste test for you and I, Brie, where I believe I can take all the bias out of the conversation, and we can say

which biscuit is better, without our cultural ties to Tim Tam overshadowing it. So without knowing what's what. Yeah. What I've got producer Anastasia to do is take a sample of a Tim Tam and a sample of a penguin, and slice them up. Because penguins are slightly bigger than a Tim Tam. Yeah. Yeah. What I've got producer Anastasia to do is take a sample of a Tim Tam and a sample of a penguin and slice them up because penguins are slightly bigger than a Tim Tam. Okay.

So we're not going to be able to tell by feel because she's cut them into similar sizes. No. And there's also a bit of a physical difference. So you guys will have blindfolds on so that you can't see because there's just a bit of a different colour. Okay. So what we're going for here is purely a taste test difference. Yeah.

So if we pop our blindfolds on. All right, blindfolds going on. And, uh... I'll remove the paper. Yes, remove the paper. All right, now... All right, has the paper been removed? Okay, which biscuit are we tasting first?

Left or right? So I'm going to get you To start with Your left biscuit Okay This one Clint's just trying to figure out Which one's which Yeah I can't see my This one right

My hand Yeah yeah Left biscuit Left biscuit in the mouth Bon appetit Okay Okay Well it's yum

Straight away it's yum Mmm Interesting I'll give it that Does it have Tim Tam Connotations Absolutely Mmm Would you agree Yeah If I gave you that as a Tim Tam You'd go. Does it have Tim Tam connotations? Absolutely.

Would you agree? Yeah. If I gave you that as a Tim Tam, you'd go, yeah, that's a Tim Tam. Yeah. Right? Okay. Can we go for the right-handed biscuit? Yeah.

All right. I know that one. Oh, my God, they're incredibly similar. They're very similar. They're incredibly similar. Uncanny, isn't it? They're almost the same. Damn, I wanted one to be drastically different. I wanted one to be slightly drier or, like, more crumbly or something like that,

but it's just not going to happen. Okay, can we take our blindfolds off? Yeah, take our blindfolds off. Okay, now we need to reveal Which biscuit we think is better Okay The first one Only Anastasia knows which is which Okay

The first one The left biscuit Or the second one The right biscuit Which one did you think was better? Mmm I believe The second biscuit

Was the better one I agree You agree It's very subtle But I think the second one Was slightly more chocolatey in the middle. Yeah, what didn't you like about the first one? The first one,

I don't know. I don't know. What was the difference from the first to the second for you? The first biscuit, it had everything. It had everything I wanted from a Tim Tam, but I don't know. There's something emotional about the second one. It just connected with me more. Do you think it was like texture?

I feel like it was texture. You've given me two Tim Tams again, haven't you? Yep. Screw you! I set up this whole taste test so that we could do... This is scientific. I've removed bias. I've done everything that needed to happen. But you said you felt an emotional connection to this.

Screw you, I'm going to have a penguin right now. Tastes nothing like a penguin. Kia ora, I'm Jane Yee. I'm Alex Casey. And I'm Duncan Grave. We're the hosts of The Real Pod and Confession Cam Time. We bloody love reality telly. If we sound like your type

on paper, join us each week for your fix of reality TV news, recaps and gossip. On The Real Pod, it's perfectly fine to like reality TV. It's a safe space, so let down your walls, wear your heart on your sleeve and remember, it is what it is. And what it is, is The Real Pod.

Brought to you by the Spinoff Podcast Network and available wherever you get your pods. Bree and Clint. When I moved to New Zealand two and a half years ago, or over two and a half years ago, there was a couple of people I learnt about straight away. Oh yeah? There was one guy that kicks around in Auckland around Pointe-Chevre called One Dread. Yeah, One Dread, town icon. One Dread, he's an icon.

And the other one was the christ church wizard oh right they were the two people not dan carter no not richie mccall no people like these are the people you need to know about not bill english at that stage dread christ church wizard okay that's pretty much it yeah right and i was like interesting so the first time i ever went to christ church i was like i've got to see the wizard. You've got to go and see the wizard, yeah. That's the only thing I really wanted to see. Like I was like, I need to see this guy. Yeah. And it was quite a big shock for me today.

But on a big international website, I saw the headline, the Christchurch wizard. Yeah. And I thought, surely this can't be about our very own Christchurch wizard. And it was. You're a wizard, Harry. surely this can't be about our very own Christchurch wizard. And it was. You're a wizard, Harry. And there's quite a lot of information about him in this article. Do you know much about the Christchurch wizard?

Just that he's always been there. And he's basically a tourist attraction. He spends most of his time in Cathedral Square and Christchurch, I believe. Yeah. Yeah. So apparently he, I believe. Yeah. Yeah, so apparently he's British born. Yeah. His name is Ian Brackenberry Chanel.

And he's 87. Right. He's an 87 year old dude. Yeah. And he moved to the country in the 1970s. And he pretty much soon after that established himself as the Wizard of Christchurch.

God, you've been doing your research on the wizard. No, seriously, there's so much. You're like wizard Wikipedia. I'm so interested in the wizard. Yeah. Because I think he's a fascinating guy. Apparently, he's got his own TripAdvisor rating. Does he?

Yep, four out of five stars. Who gave the wizard a bad rating? Yeah, who's not giving him five stars? We can ask Ben. Ben, you're from Christchurch. What's your interactions with the wizard a bad rating? Yeah, who's not giving him five stars? We can ask Ben. Ben, you're from Christchurch. What's your interactions with the wizard been like? How many stars? He's pretty convincing.

Four out of five. Four out of five. He's great. He can be a little bit loud, but he's fantastic. There it is. Okay, we found the down rate. You know, he even changed his name on his driver's license. To what?

The wizard. His driver's license says the wizard. The wizard, okay. You know, he even changed his name on his driver's licence. To what? The Wizard. His driver's licence is The Wizard. The Wizard, apparently. All right, that's, yep. And this is the part that I was quite interested in. You know he gets paid to be the Wizard of Christchurch? How much? How much do you think he gets paid?

So, wait, every year since 1998, he has been paid by the Christchurch City Council to be the Wizard of Christchurch. Really? Yes, apparently from this article. Well, then he has to have a TripAdvisor rating. Yeah, well, I guess so. He has to be independently audited. Can you imagine filling out your tax form?

Yeah. Can you imagine asking for a pay rise? Wizard. You're like, honestly, I did 50% more spells this year. Where did you train? Well, I went to Polytech and then Hogwarts for a few years. How much do they pay the wizard? Guess.

100 grand. 100 grand a year? You told me to guess. I hate when you do this. Well, stop making me guess. How much do they pay him? He gets paid $16,000 every year to be the wizard of Christchurch. Yeah, right.

That's not an impressive amount because to me that means he has to have another job. Do you reckon he does have another job? We'd have to. He can't get by on $16,000 a year. So now I want to know what's the wizard's other job? What's the other job? You know he's

training a successor. Is he? An understudy. An understudy. A guy that's going to take his place. When he retires. Yeah, he's training a successor. Is he? Yeah. An understudy. An understudy. A guy that's going to take his place. Yeah, when he retires. Yeah, he's been... When he goes to fight Voldemort and loses. He's been the wizard's apprentice for the past six years.

He's 39 and he's a guitar teacher. I can see him on the screen. His name is Ari Freeman. His beard's incredible. I think he's a very good understudy. We're going to Christchurch this Friday for Friday Okie Live. It's at the Carlton.

Why don't we spend the morning trying to find the wizard? I do every time I'm at Christchurch. Why don't we go and try and get a photo with the wizard? Have you ever met him? I've tracked him down. I've never had the guts to say hello. I've always wanted to ask if I could touch his beard.

I think that's a bit far. No, I don't think so. People who have beards like it. No, I don't think so. People who have beards like it. No, I don't know if they do. I don't know if they do. Well, you can try it until you go. I'll just distance myself from it. Or I want him to put his hat on me and sort me into one of the houses.

Let's give it a go. If you have any wizard advice for us, wizard tips, Christchurchians, cantabs. What should we ask the wizard? Yeah, text us on 9696. Bree and Clint. Z96. Bree and Clint. ZM, Bree and Clint. It's Bruno Mars, that's what I like. Remember when we went to LA and we did that celebrity houses tour

and the guy goes, that's Bruno Mars' house. And we're like, is it? And he goes, yep, now let's go. And we're like, prove it. And he goes, can't. Can't. We came here once and Bruno Mars came out and said, hey, get away from my house.

Anyway, definitely Bruno Mars' house. Let's go. Oh, my God. I heard she bought all her followers. She would. She's such a bitch. It's time for Brie and Clint's Insta Fame Game. Please pay me $95 for this service.

$95 each. To Liz of the Stars houses. This is the Insta Fame Game where we guess how many followers celebrities have on Instagram. You can win by picking the winner. Hi, Ashley. Hi, Ash. Hi. Who would you like to play for you in the Insta Fame Game today?

Oh, I don't know. Either or. Well, we need you to make a decision. Maybe we should back the females. And the females' name that you'd like to choose is... Oh. Not again. What is happening?

Not again. Ashley, who do you think you've called? ZM. Yeah. And who does the afternoon show on ZM? Don't worry, this is more embarrassing for us than it is for you. Why are you making this worse for us? Actually, wait there.

Why are you doing this worse? I want to choose Brie. Yes! Done some quick Googling. You're putting some grass on your toes. It's the afternoon. Yeah, right, right, right. Thanks, Ash.

I like it, Ash. I like that. Keep us humble. Nicole, that means you, right. Thanks, Ash. No, I like it, Ash. I like that. Keep us humble. Nicole, that means you get me, okay? Awesome. Awesome who? Awesome Clint. Yes!

Oh, thank God. Yes, Nicole. Yes. Okay, Producer Ben, give us our first celebrity for the Instafame game. It's this game. It's fun. It's fun. Your first celebrity is Bruno Mars.

No, it's not Bruno Mars. It is Bruno Mars. Bruno Mars. We went to his fake house one time. Definitely his real house. He's been quiet recently, Bruno Mars. He has been quiet, hasn't he? Oh, don't be close. For Bruno Mars, Clint, you've put $43 million and

Bree, you've put $48 million. Bruno Mars has $22.3 million. Point to, you've put 48 million. Bruno Mars has 22.3 million. Point to me. Okay, great. Point to Clint. Your second person. That is Clint. Point to Clint who works on this show.

Your second person is Jason Derulo. Right. Jason Derulo. Who's just done a massive video with old mate Will Smith. I saw that, yeah. He sort of like faked he smashed Will Smith's teeth out. That's fake, hey? He hasn't really smashed Will Smith's teeth out.

I think if they really did, they wouldn't be putting it online. For Jason Derulo, Clint, you've put, is it 90 million? 90 million. And Bree, you've put 30 million. Jason Derulo has 6.7 million. Yeah, it is. Damn, I went way too hot. He's big on the TikTok.

Yeah, because he can dance. Yeah. Suits him. And he's hot. Hot people on TikTok. That's what the algorithm likes. We're on TikTok. Yeah.

Yeah, we're doing very good too. The algorithm is broken. Your third person for the Insta Fame game is Simon Cowell. Simon Cowell. Who, thanks to the medics, after breaking his back in an electric bike fail. I know, poor guy. Cool that he has an electric bike, though. For Simon Cowell, Clint, you've put $1.3 million.

And Bree, you've put $11 million. Simon Cowell has $1.6 million. Simon Cowell has 1.6 million. Is that it? Yeah. What's the hot fire Simon Cowell content you're looking for in Instagram? The before and after his plastic surgery photos. True. Get well soon Simon. Okay what's our next one Ben? Your next

Insta person is Chris Hemsworth. Hey happy birthday Chris Hemsworth. It's his birthday today. Is it? How old is he? Bonus age game. No, he's 37. Is he 37?

37. What would you have said? 35? Yeah. For Chris, Clint, you've put 90 million. Probably close again, aren't we? You've put 85 million. He has 43 million. Yeah, get in. It's tie break. We're going to tie million. He has $43 million. Yeah, get in.

It's tie break. We're going to tie break. It hasn't been a while. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right then.

Brie and Clint. Okay. Your final person for the Insta Fame game is Jennifer Garner. Jennifer Garner. Oh, I know why. Because she's dating Bradley Cooper. There's rumours because there's some beach. Wait, Jennifer Garner's the one that used she's dating Bradley Cooper There's rumours Because there's some

Wait Jennifer Garner's The one that used to date Ben Affleck Yeah correct Cool just making sure Is she rumoured To be dating Bradley Cooper What happened to

Bradley Cooper's Super hot girlfriend From when the star Was born Lady Gaga He hooked up with Lady Gaga Hang on so am I doing

Jennifer Garner Or Bradley Cooper Definitely Jennifer Garner I'm not even sure Bradley has Instagram. He wouldn't. He's so cool. Okay, Clint.

You've put $13 million. Bree, you've put $4 million. That name again is Bree. Jennifer has $9.5 million. That's a game to Clint. Damn it. There we go. That means, Nicole, you've just won the Insta Fame game.

Well done. Yay. Awesome. Thank you. You done. Yay. Awesome. Thank you. You're very welcome. Bree Ann Clint. We're back in a moment. Bree Ann Clint.

A lady in the States who was engaged when she was 19 years old, but it fell through before the wedding due to, how do you say the word? Irreconcilable differences. She's written a list of 20 questions that you should ask your partner before you guys decide to get married. How old is she now? She's 21 now. Oh, so she's not even, not that long ago.

Not that long ago, but she's reflected on her experience and she's gone, geez, we weren't on the same page about any of this stuff. I should have asked these questions. I should have asked these questions. It's quite a long list and it's quite serious too. It talks about things like sexuality and all that sort of stuff, preference, whatever. I've picked out some of the interesting ones just to highlight quickly.

She says that you should talk about debt, who's got it, and whose is it after you get married. You should talk about kids. How many do you want? Do you actually want some? Kind of a big question, yeah. And do you know if you have any fertility problems before you get married?

Oh, that's a pretty intense question. Yeah, but she's saying don't let it become an issue after you get married. Deal with it up front. Yeah, but what if you don't know? No, do you know is the question. Oh, right, gotcha. Are you aware of any?

Gotcha, okay. Number three, oh, levels of religiousness. Talk about how religious you are. I feel like if you've been dating them long enough to marry them, you should know if they're religious. You would know all these things, yeah. Or you're like, man, I wonder where she goes every Sunday. So pretty much all the things, yeah.

She's never hanging out with me on a Sunday. Whenever she comes home, she tastes like wine. Yeah. Weird. So you should ask all the questions that they say you shouldn't ask on a first date. Exactly right. Have the hard conversations before you.

Money, politics, religion. Religion. Absolutely right. Yeah. And then there's a question in there which I think is really interesting. She says that before you marry someone, you should ask them what they consider cheating to be. Oh.

Yeah, because people have a very different view on this. Some do. Yeah. And she said get it out in the open so you're on the same footing so that if one of you does it, there's no argument. You go, yeah, actually. We've talked about this. We've talked about this and it's black and white.

We had the conversation. You cheated on me. Because if you don't, that's when they can get away with it. Yeah. So what for you, Brie, I'll ask you. Yeah. What do you consider to be cheating? I consider anything where you've got intent to do something more than what a friendship is.

So that can be physical or it can be emotional. Yeah. So either or. Yeah. To be honest, and I said this to you off air, I feel like emotional cheating is almost worse than a one-off kiss, random kiss at a bar. Yeah, right.

Like I would probably be able to get over that more so than if I found out my partner was texting someone on Instagram or something. I'll tell you what my system is for figuring it out. It's simple. It's just a filter. If it's something that you wouldn't do in front of your partner then it's cheating like if you go oh i wouldn't want my partner to know about this then that's cheating so what so what about like eating a whole bag of m&ms

i wouldn't do that in front of my partner wouldn't you no because i get in trouble i feel like you would do all right okay no no no something with another person. Oh, gotcha. No, I'm not talking about eating. Jesus. We're talking about cheating on your partner with someone else. I was making a joke. Yeah, if you wouldn't do it in front of them, if you were like, if they would get upset if they saw you doing it,

then you've got to go, yeah, actually, no, that's cheating. I'm not going to do that. I feel like that's a pretty good filter. Yeah. I wonder if we can take some calls from people this afternoon who found out that them and their partner had a different definition of what cheating was. Like something happened and they were like, no, I haven't cheated.

No, I didn't cheat. I didn't cheat. I just sent her a nude on Snapchat. It goes away. I didn't cheat on you. We just kissed. Yeah. That's it. We just kissed and then I said

I've got a girlfriend and then we kissed a bit more and then I left. Yeah, that was all above board. Are you willing to share that with us this afternoon? I mean, I don't assume the relationship is still going, but it might be. What did they try and get away with as not cheating? What did they think

wasn't cheating? What did they try and tell you? as not cheating? What did they think wasn't cheating? What did they try and tell you? Babe, that's not even cheating. Okay, that's not a big deal. No, I slept over in their bed, but our clothes were on. I fell over and over and over. Into their bed. 0800 DIAL ZM.

It's a tough question. It's a personal question, but we'd love to hear from you this afternoon. You can text us on 9696 as well. What did they not consider to be cheating? You can also remain anonymous. There's a list doing the rounds, 20 conversations, questions you should ask your partner before you guys decide to get married so you can check that you guys are on the same page.

Yeah, good idea. One of the more interesting ones is what do you consider cheating? You need to be on the same page. Yeah, good idea. One of the more interesting ones is what do you consider cheating? You need to be on the same page with this because if you've got different kind of views or whatever and then something happens, I mean, what are you going to do? Be aware that having that conversation could break you up though because if you find out

that they don't consider something cheating that you think is really damaging to your relationship, it'll be hard to come back from that, especially if they've been doing that thing, you know? Yeah, because then you're going to go, what have you been messaging whoever on Instagram? Yeah. Yeah. So we want to talk about those differences this afternoon.

What did they think wasn't cheating? Thanks for all your calls so far. Bella's here. Hi, Bella. Hi. Hi. What did they consider not cheating? So she didn't think that sleeping

in the same bed as someone that she'd previously had feeling for was cheating. This is a classic. Hell no. This is a classic and it's not even, it's not even, like it doesn't have to have the past romantic element to it. Would you consider your partner sleeping in the same bed as another

like person of a gender that they're attracted to? Would you consider that partner sleeping in the same bed as another person of a gender that they're attracted to? Would you consider that to be cheating? Is the person that they're sleeping next to attracted to the same gender that they're... Yeah, you know what I mean? If it syncs up, just sharing the bed without letting them knowing, a lot of people would consider that to be a betrayal, wouldn't they, Bella?

Yeah, definitely. It's even worse if they've had previous, you know, history with that person. Was it a deal breaker in your relationship? At the time, it wasn't. And I told her I was uncomfortable with it. But she later went on to cheat on me with that person. Well, there you go. Bree says this all the time.

If you've got a gut feeling that something is off, then... Did you have that gut feeling, Bella? Yeah, I did. You always have it. You always do. Rachel, hi. Hello. What did they consider to not be cheating? Sending pictures of their downstairs

region to other people. Is it because of the quality of the pictures, Rachel? Yeah. Right, okay. That's so black and white for me. Same question for you. Was it a deal breaker?

Yeah, absolutely. And the photos got sent on to my sister and my friend and a few other people as well. And Rachel was like, wait a minute, I recognise that one. That's my one. Well, they said, I got dibs on that. Because sometimes people do things outside of their relationship that they wouldn't even do inside their relationship. Were they sending nudes to you as their girlfriend?

No. No. So they were literally taking those for other people. Stupid. If they'd at least sent them to you, then maybe they could have gone, oh, sorry, babe, that was meant for you. Yeah, I've said press all. There's a few texts I feel like we should read out

because they're quite interesting. Someone said, a friend of mine doesn't consider getting with another girl cheating because she has a boyfriend. So hooking up with a girl doesn't count. Does he agree? That's what this comes down to. Have you had the conversation? You need to agree on that. Does he agree? In your relationship. Someone else said, my

ex cheated on me but he didn't think it was cheating because he was drunk. I don't think that counts. Someone else said, he kissed another girl on New Year's and used the occasion to say it wasn't cheating. That's like saying, I took part in spin the bottle and it doesn't cheating. That's like saying

I took part in spin the bottle and it doesn't count. Imagine he's there in March he's booking his tickets to R&V and you're like, oh babe, are we going to R&V this year? And he goes, no, just me. I'm just going. Just me. That's what I do. I do New Year's by myself. I'll see you when I get back. Summer, hi. Hi.

Hi. Yeah, what do they consider not cheating? So my ex considered hooking up with my twin sister not cheating because we were the same person. What? No, he didn't say that. Yeah, he did. Identical twin?

No. Not even identical twin? Oh, not that that matters. Not that it matters, but I'm just trying to get... Hang on, hang on. What about the sister? Yeah, what was she up to? Oh, man.

I don't even know what she was thinking. What did that do to your guys' relationship? It was pretty tough for a while, but we're okay now. You're okay now. And what about him? Yeah. Do I have to ask? He's gone. He's gone.

Thank God. He didn't end up with your sister. No. No, no, no. No way. And he genuinely didn't think it was cheating because you were the same person. I think you win. I think you've taken it out there. Well done, maybe. Congratulations. Sounds like he had

an IQ of 12. Yeah, right. Have the chat, everybody. Get on the same page. But like I said, if you're not on the same page, it could be a deal breaker. It could be. Bree and Clint.

No. Hey. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Bree and Clint's Birthday Banger. All right, here we go. Birthday Banger for you Tuesday. This is where we take your birthdays and figure out

what was number one on your 16th. Don. Hey, Don. G'day, Don. G'day. Is it short for Donald? No, it's Don Don. Don Don.

Don Don. Yep. Love it. Okay, what's your birthday, Don Don? 9th of September, 1992. Right, you were 16 in 2008 on the 9th of September. And Don Don,

shake your bonbon to your birthday banger. Kid Rock all summer long. Is that good for you, Don? Don? Don? Hello. Hello. Do you like it?

It's good for you? Pretty good. Yeah, good. Okay. Cool. Let's get one on for Ethan. Hey, Ethan. Hi. Hello. Hello. Do you like it? It's good for you? Pretty good. Yep. Yeah, good. Okay. The Kid Rock. Cool. Let's get one on for Ethan.

Hey, Ethan. Hi, Ethan. Hey, how's it going, guys? Good. How are you, mate? Good, thank you. That's good. What's your birthday, Ethan?

16th of May, 1992. Okay, you were 16 in 2008 on the 16th of May, and this is your birthday banger. A bit of lollipop, Lil Wayne. What a banger. What a banger. What a tune. It's quite a unique birthday banger, Ethan. You're lucky, man.

Well done. Cheers. Cheers. Okay, right there. I like that one. We've got to get one more on for Hayley. Hi, Hayley. G'day. Hi, how's it going? Good. How are you, mate. Well done. Cheers. Cheers. Okay, wait there. I like that one. We've got to get one more on for Hayley. Hi, Hayley. G'day.

Hi, how's it going? Good. How are you, mate? Very good. That's good. What's your birthday, Hales? 11th of August, 1987. All right, you were 16 in 2003 on the 11th of August. And Hayley, this was top of the charts and you your 16.

Tune. Breathe. Blue Cantrell. This is a Dr. Dre beat as well. I don't know if I've ever heard this, but... Haven't you heard it? And then Sean Paul. I'm pretty sure that's one of the beats off the Chronic 2001. I'm sure it is.

I thought that song was massive everywhere, but... Yeah, good. It's a good birthday banger. Do you like it, Hayley? Yeah, it's all right. Yeah, it's all right. All right, cool. Unique birthday banger selection today.

We've got Lil Wayne, Kid Rock, and Blue Cantrell. Who would have thought that's the lineup? I believe that it's Wayne. I think it's Lil Wayne. Lil Wayne. Yeah, I love that song. Yeah. Kid Rock, fun.

Kid Rock's good. Blue Cantrell song I can't vote for because I don't really know it. That's a great song. So I vote Lil Wayne. I would probably vote for Breathe, Blue Cantrell, but I don't believe we've got the whole thing in the system. Oh, so it's out. But I love that Lil Wayne song, so I'll go with you on that.

Ethan, you've just won birthday banger with an absolute ripper. Congratulations. Yeah, cheers, guys. What a tune. Yeah, this is a banger. No, stop, no, stop, stop.

This is the 3-6 Mafia version. Wait, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Stop. Who did that? Hang on. Hold on, wait, wait. Is that the explicit one? It's a completely

different song. Is that the one with all the... You know, yeah, I know what it is? It's a completely different song. Is that the one with all the... Yeah, I know what it is. Let's try again. There it is. There you go, Ethan. Awesome.

Still no guarantee, just completely censored, but we'll give it a go. And well done. Bree and Clint, this is Birthday Banger on ZM. Like a lollipop, she say I'm like a lollipop Like a lollipop, she say I'm like a lollipop Shawty want fun, bottles in the club Shawty want fun, no one like the touch And I've been waiting long, she don't wanna know

Shawty wanna fuck. I don't say fuck. Shawty come on. I'm on the touch and I be ladylike. Come on. Yeah. Oh, kid, the mama had the swag like mine. She even wear her hair down her back like mine.

I make her feel right when it's wrong like mine Man, she never had a lose like mine But man, I ain't never seen a hurt like hers That in my mouth had me lost for words So I told her back it up like herp, herp And I made her jump like jerk, jerk And that's when she say I look like a lollipop Oh yeah, she say I look like a lollipop Oh yeah, I like that

Like a lollipop, lollipop She say I look like a lollipop Yeah, I like that She say I look like a lollipop Shawty pop thug, Shawty wanna thug Bodies in the club, bodies in the club Shawty wanna hug, Shawty wanna touch Shawty baby, Shawty wanna Shawty wanna thug Outro Music I'm not gonna get up, yeah, you make it up, yeah, stop, stop, drop it, yeah, drop it,

drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it,

drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, dropty, I'ma hit it, hit it like a cream miss And you can't do this, don't do that Shawty need a refund, need to bring that n***a back Just like a refund, I make her bring that n***a back And she bring that n***a back Because I like that

Shawty wanna die now Yeah, I like that All those in the club Yeah, I like that Shawty wanna love You know I like to Yeah, I burn Tryna let it go Tryna let it go Bottles in the club Tryna let it go Tryna let it go

Tryna let it go Tryna let it go Call me, so I can make it juicy for ya Call me, so I can get it juicy for ya Call me, so I can make it juicy for ya Call me, so I can get it juicy for you. Call me so I can make it juicy for you. Call me so I can get it juicy for you. Call me so I can make it juicy for you. Call me so I can make it juicy for you.

Call me so I can make it juicy for you. Call me so I can make it juicy for you. Zed and Brian Clint, the winner of Birthday Banganger today is Lil Wayne and Lollipop. That's memories. We've messed up again. It was Hayley's birthday. I know. Not only did we not play her song on her birthday, we didn't even say happy birthday.

Very rude of us. So happy birthday to you, Hayley. Bree's now going to sing you happy birthday to make up for it. I'm definitely not. Did you hear that recently Lil Wayne put on some weight? Did he? Yeah, now they call him Lotta Wayne. I'm in a disease like I'm in stroke.

Bleed through the pencil and leak on the... I walked straight into that. This Friday for Friday Okie Live, it's at the Carlton. If you want to come, you can win yourself $500 cash if you do the best song. Doors open at 7, singing starts at 8. That's the Carlton in Christchurch this Friday for Friday Okie Live. Have you got hiccups? Yeah.

Boom! Ooh. A ski? Might be gone. I'm very scarable, so we'll see. Yeah, you are very jumpy. Oh, you nearly swore too. I really let myself believe that it was over.

Don't worry, I'll just turn my mic off. You do, you just go for it. Because this is big. We have to talk about this. And it's actually some of the biggest news to have dropped in the music world in, I reckon, a decade. Right. This is massive.

And it's to do with one of the biggest, most successful bands of all time, very on brand for ZM, ABBA. Love ABBA. They're huge. It's estimated that they've sold over 150 million albums over their career. They've got a stage musical, Mamma Mia. There's been movies made. Yeah, they're cracking it.

They're massive. Huge. There isn't a household in New Zealand that doesn't have ABBA gold on CD. It's a classic. But did you hear that in the last how many weeks there's been rumours that they will release five new songs next year? New songs? Five new songs next year.

They'll hit the road holographically as their younger selves. Wow. And it'll be their first new. Why did this never happen? We were meant to get Tupac as well. Yeah. Everyone was going to tour. Then they're like, we can do a Michael Jackson tour.

They're like, ooh, don't do that. This is the first new music from ABBA in 35 years. Yeah. It's a big deal. Must be old songs that they never released. Well, this is the thing. And I thought, you know, is it new? Is it remixed?

What is it? And I emailed my friend Bjorn from ABBA. Did you? Because... Bjorn at ABBA.com? Look, I don't want to give out his email because he is... Sorry, that was rude of me. He is one of the main singers from ABBA and he's a big deal.

So he's like, you know, keep my stuff personal and whatever. Right. He didn't make me sign anything and he said, look, I'll give you An exclusive look Into what some of those five songs This is good for us this is a big deal Huge deal Go Coast will be angry

Coast are going to be furious Tony Street will be off her rocker that we got this exclusive I said to Beyond can I share it with Coast And he said no only you and Clint At ZM are the only people So this is the only place you're going to hear this. Amazing, amazing. I'm so excited. So the first song

that Bjorn from ABBA sent me, this is going to be in one of the five releases of the new songs. It's a remix and it sounds something like this. Yeah, get it, Bjorn. Bjorn, Bjorn, wait. There's a real good drop coming.

All right, everyone. Take it up a notch. I would go to this Ember show. I would go to this Ember show. Vagabjorn! Now look, that's good. And we love dancing. Even got the piano in there. So good.

And we love Dancing Queen. Yeah. But one of my favourites, I think might be this next track, and it's another remix. You wouldn't believe it. And it's of their big hit, Gimme, Gimme, Gimme. Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after me. You wait till you hear the drop on this mammoth.

Yeah, right. You wait. Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after me. All right, all right, all right. Here we go. Still building. Still building. Get a Bjorn.

Plenty till we die! You know, I don't know if she ever has, but I think this might be the first time my mum takes pingers for this tour. Seriously, Abba. I love Abba! Is back in a big way. Bree and Clint. Look, you've heard of a pub crawl. We back in a big way. Bree and Clint. Look, you've heard of a pub crawl.

We've probably all done one, you know, here and there. But have you ever heard of a cheese crawl? Oh, no. A cheese crawl apparently is going to be started in London in the next couple of weeks where every Saturday you will get taken on a tour where you'll get to try different cheeses across London. Right.

Are you going to cheese factories or like cheese? I think, I don't know. Cheeseries. Cheeseries. Cheese holes. I don't know. They call them cheese holes. Cheese holes is what they're called.

You're popping it out of cheese holes, yeah. Anyway, it costs 25 pounds. So what, like $50? Yeah. Ish. Yeah. And you pretty much go hopping from cheese place to cheese place. I want quite a lot of cheese for $50.

And I probably want a glass of wine too. And if we're hopping, I'm going to need my wine on the lanyard. This is good. Yep. It's a good idea. No, I see what you're saying. Because wine and cheese. This is good. Yep. It's a good idea. No, I see what you're saying because wine and cheese are unbree-ble. Oh.

Un-bree-leave-able. Yep. Go on. Keep going. I know now that we're here you've got more. I can get fetter than this. I can get fetter than that. Yeah, all right.

Yep. I can get. Yep. I got it. Fetter. Yeah, you can get fetter. You can do fetter right, yep. I can get... Yep. I got it, fitter. Yeah, you can get fitter. You can do fitter.

You didn't think that was a good a time? That one? These are going downhill. These are getting worse. You know, the one thing I thought when I read this story is they chitter not be lying to us. Yeah, mm, yeah, mm, mm us I should have stopped ages ago I reckon you should have just slipped Brie Leavable in there but actually nailed it the first time

I didn't even say it properly Like I should know that I'm not good At the pun game I need to get out of the pun game Yeah those weren't great Get it? No I'll pay that What is this?

More FM? Jesus Christ We need to stop with the With the pun based gags We need to go home early I think