ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – August 15th 2018

Episode Date: August 15, 2018

What is this guy hiding?Animals on planesBree in Woman’s Day feedbackBirthday Banger!What do men really want?Move to Auckland#GirlProblemsClint’s Friends quizWho forgot the key ingredient?Paris has a new urinalSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM! ZM! Let's go, go, go! Now let me see you dance! ZM's Brie and Clint! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm down, mate! Calm down!

It's not worth it, alright? Brie, I need you to sit down, put down the laptop. I'm so angry! You are about to be entertained for the next three hours by a woman who is about to punch her own laptop screen as she tries to use the company website. I'm trying to get onto my payroll thing, and you know when it asks you to put in a new password?

I've done it 16 times. Everyone who works in an office will know this feeling when the workplace goes, guys, we're moving to a paperless system. Everything's on the intranet. I'm about to rip my hair out. And then it's like, you need a number in the password. No, you need now. You need an uppercase letter.

No, sorry. The password has to be 16 million characters long. Is there anything more annoying than having to change your password? I just want my damn payslips. Oh, good. Anyway, over it. I don't even care. I'm not, you know, whatever.

Are you relaxed? You look relaxed. I'm so relaxed. Hey, this afternoon, we relaxed? You look relaxed. I'm so relaxed. Hey, this afternoon, we're going to give someone a shot at 50 grand. If you think you know what the secret sound is, five o'clock is when we're doing it. Soundkeeper Annabelle will be on. And if you get it correct, thanks to Save My Bacon,

tomorrow morning there'll be 50 Gs in your bank account. I bet Soundkeeper Annabelle can get onto the payroll system. I'm sure she, it's a breeze for her. Next, though, we need your opinion on something. Something went down on the weekend to one of my friends with a guy. There was a number involved for a date. But I think he was hiding something. I want to put it to the people next.

And hopefully she's listening. Maybe you can help. After French Montana and Swaley, this is unforgettable. Bree and Clint, ZM. ZM's Bree and Clint. So I was telling you about how I went to a birthday gathering over the weekend. Yes. Went to a winery and there was a bunch of us there. It was a great time.

Yeah. I overheard a conversation between one of my mates and this guy that we met at the winery and they were kind of flirting with each other and it was cute and it was great. Do they know each other? No. Right. They'd never met before.

Romantic winery rendezvous. Literally. So they met at the winery and anyway she's chatting to him and then she comes back over and she says oh my god he's so cute like i asked for his instagram he says i don't have instagram so then i said to her okay not totally unusual because some people don't have instagram especially for i think guys for guys yeah i said, okay, so what did you get? Did you get his Facebook or his name? She goes, no, he would only give me his phone number.

Yeah. He said he didn't have Facebook. Right. I think, because if you think about it, Clint, is he hiding something and doesn't want her to get on his social media? Possibly. But this is where I go. Why didn't she just want the phone number?

Yeah, well, she just said I asked for his Instagram first. Right, okay. Yeah, well, you know why, Clint? Why? Because then you can stalk the person. Oh, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. So these days, getting someone's Instagram, you can get all this background information.

Hmm. Which, I don't know, I kind of said, who doesn't have Facebook these days? Maybe not. Who doesn't have Facebook? Old people? Well, he wasn't old. People with a checkered past?

Or someone. Maybe he was wanting to hide something? What sort of phone did he have? Because that's obviously often a very telltale sign. Like if they're using a $30 supermarket phone. It was an iPhone. Oh, no, he's got Facebook then. Otherwise, why have you got an iPhone?

Other than to check your social media. Even if you don't have a Facebook page, then do you normally have, like you've got Messenger or something, right? Or you've got an Instagram account with nothing on it just so you can scroll other people's pages. The only way he was contactable was through his phone number. Yeah. Where you can't

really find out anything about him. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Benefit? I want to give him the benefit of the doubt that he's being straight up. Okay. And it could be kind of refreshing. Like maybe it's nice to go out with a guy who, I don't know, isn't all about posting up pictures of you on this. And likes and followers and all that stuff.

You know what, if he doesn't have an Instagram, he's not liking any other girl's Instagram photos, is he? Maybe it's endearing. I love how you're a glass half full type of guy. Well, I just want to believe that this guy could be legit. He definitely could be legit. But you don't think so? I don't know.

Who knows? What did he look like? He, a footballer. That's how I'd probably describe him. But you don't think so I don't know Who knows What did he look like? He A footballer That's how I'd probably describe him Good looking guy Yeah Really good looking guy

Age range Probably I'd say early 30s Early 30s Tattoos I don't know if that's relevant or not I think he did have some tattoos I think he had a sleeve Yeah okay

Yeah I want to get the people's thoughts this afternoon Sure Should my friend give him the benefit of the doubt out of sleeve. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I want to get the people's thoughts this afternoon. Sure. Should my friend give him the benefit of the doubt or should she investigate a bit more? Is it a red flag? Is it a red flag? I feel like you're looking for red flags.

I feel like you want there to be a red flag for some reason. My gut's never wrong. Come on. Us dudes, we're fine. I would have said the same thing if it was a girl. I would have said the same thing. All right a girl. I would have said the same thing. All right. Do you want to put it out there?

0800 dial ZM. Should she give him the benefit of the doubt or is it a red flag? We're just talking about this friend of mine. We were out at a winery on the weekend for a birthday party. She met up with this guy that she thought was really cute and they were flirting and she asked for his Instagram and he said, I don't have Instagram. She then said, oh, what's your Facebook? And he said, I don't have Facebook. And then so he gave her his number. He said, here, take my secret phone number. I mean, regular, normal phone

number. My second phone number. The text machine is very skewed this afternoon. There's a lot of people saying he could be totally normal, totally not hiding anything, he just doesn't want social media, which could be the case. Which is what I want to believe. Which there's other people. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt that he's just a technophobe

who doesn't want any social media, a bit of a recluse, and he could just be a good dude. But there's other people saying that they've had a similar situation and then found out that they had a girlfriend so it's very 50 50 on the text machine a lot of people are saying that she should put his mobile number into facebook because it brings up a profile which is connected to a mobile number which used to be the case but if you're listening now facebook actually did an update at the start of the year where you can't do that you can't can't do it anymore. We used to do it all the time with people who text in,

go and see who they were. All the time. Can't do that anymore. Anyway, you've asked for feedback and it has come through thick and fast. So first of all, Adrian, hi. Hi, hey. What do you think, Adrian?

Benefit of the doubt or red flag? I think she should give him benefit of the doubt because I didn't have a Facebook until like two years ago. I'm 35 now. But you've got a Facebook now though. I have a Facebook now but I barely use it. I don't

follow anyone. I only use it for like, you know, to find events and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have Instagram. I also have Instagram, and that's also the same. I don't follow anyone. I just use it.

I do a little bit of photography. You just use it to stalk other people, Adrian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't. We got your number, Adrian. I'm just going to have a look on your Facebook. That's interesting. But Adrian, he still has it. He still has it though.

James, hi. Hi, James. How you guys going? What do you think, red flag or benefit of the doubt? Red flag. He's full of shit. Oh, James. Calling him out.

And that is coming from a man as well. I like how upfront James is. What if it was a girl, James? What if it was a girl and she didn't have any of those profiles? Same thing. Nah, same thing. Even more dodgy. Yep. Goes both ways.

Doesn't matter. Brood. Hi. Hi, Brood. Oh, Bruce. Bruce. Sorry, Bruce. I thought Brood was a weird name. I was like, are you one half of the band? What do you think, Bruce? Oh, I definitely think given the benefit of the doubt. Was it you at the winery on

Saturday? No. I'm with you, Bruce. Like, I want the benefit of the doubt. Was it you at the winery on Saturday? On Saturday? Uh, no. I'm with you, Bruce. Like, I want to believe him, but you've got to admit it kind of looks a little bit off if there's literally no paper trail about this guy.

Oh, yeah, I guess so, but a lot of my friends that I'm working with and a lot of people that I work with at the moment, they just spend too much time on Facebook and social media. Yeah.

So I've just deleted it. Oh, really? So you've had a lot of friends that I work with at the moment, they just spend too much time on Facebook and social media. Yeah. So I've just deleted it. Oh, really? So you've had a lot of friends that have deleted it recently? Yeah, just deleted Facebook due to all the nonsense on it, but they've kept their messenger. Yeah. Right. See, he didn't even have that.

No, he didn't have that. Because then she could have given him the messenger things so they could chat. Yeah, all right. Let's keep going. Liam. Hi, Liam. Better for the doubt or red flag?

Liam. No, Liam, that's okay. Let's go to Alicia. Hi, Alicia. Hey, how's it going? Good, thanks. What do you think? Total benefit of the doubt.

He's, yeah, I reckon give him a chance. My partner of seven years doesn't have a Facebook or an Instagram, and I actually quite like it. Does he not have one because you won't let him have one? I have Facebook. No, no, no, no. He just chooses not to. He thanks everyone that's got one.

It's a dirt page, I don't know. Is that what he tells everyone that he meets when he's out? Yeah. I'm just kidding, Alicia. I agree. It is refreshing if it is. If a guy's not on there. Yeah, if it's just the fact he doesn't have one.

So what did she do? So what has she done? Is she going to follow through with it? Is she going to text him? Or have you scared her off with your conspiracy theories that he's hiding a secret wife and family somewhere? On the day, I said, oh, that's a bit strange, but I didn't want to get into it and I thought she deserves to make her own assumptions.

But it'd be interesting. I should text her and see if she's met up with him. Yeah, find out. I'd actually love to know. Well, I'll text her, see what's happening, and we'll cover it tomorrow on the show. Okay, there you go. ZDM's brilliant client.

Are you familiar with the concept of a support animal, or like a therapy animal on flights? A guide dog? Yeah. Or an anxiety dog? Anxiety dog, yeah. Guide dog's more of like an assistance. You need that.

A service dog, that's what that is. I'm talking about, say you're a bad flyer and so you bring on the flight, you're a chihuahua and it sits in your lap and it keeps you calm so you can get through the flight. Yep. So that is more and more these days a very normal thing. However, like anything, once they bring the rule in,

people start to see how far they can take it to the point that a bunch of airlines around the world now have had to be more specific with the type of animal you're allowed to bring on because there are multiple cases of people bringing support birds on airplanes. I've heard about this. Have you ever seen an animal on a flight? No. Neither?

No, I've never seen one. Never in my life. So apparently people are showing up with support ducks. Right. I think this is a super common thing in America. Yeah, yeah. And a support peacock. A peacock?

Shout out to a flight. Those things are loud. But can you imagine trying to justify that? You go, yeah, I need them. It's my support peacock. If I don't have my peacock, then I can't fly. What this? No, this is my support peacock. If I don't have my peacock, then I can't fly. What, this? No, this is my support goanna.

What, this four-metre python? No, this is my support python. So you can't bring that on the plane? Well, you didn't specify. Haven't you seen the movie Snakes on a Plane? I can bring it on. They have had to specify. So flights in America now specify that you are allowed dogs and cats only.

Even then, cats. Cats on a flight. Try controlling a cat. They're the last animal that I, when I think of calming, I don't think of a cat. Oh, I don't know. Good relaxed cat does wonders. Cats get pretty stressed.

Yeah. You're only allowed one of those animals per customer, so you can't bring multiple cats with you. What if I have a Great Dane? Yeah, that's fine. So I can bring that on the flight? Yeah, you can bring that on cats with you. What if I have a Great Dane? Yeah, that's fine. So I can bring that on the flight? Yeah, you can bring that on the flight because it's a dog. That thing would need two seats. It just needs to remain in a carrier

or be on its leash at all times. What about a support miniature pony? Well, that's what I wondered. Where's the line? Because, I mean, they calm me a lot. Support horse. A support horse. A horse is a very loving animal. What about a support pig? Very intelligent animal.

I love pigs. If the flight was going down, who better to take charge of the flight than a support pig? Like, where do you draw the line? Yeah, where do you draw the line? Can you have a support goat on a flight? I love goats. You love goats?

Yeah. And they'll eat anything. No matter what meal they've run out of, the goat's not going to care. Sorry, sir, we've run out of the chicken. He goes, oh, that's okay. I'll eat the fish. I'm a goat. love goats? Yeah. And they'll eat anything. Very calming. No matter what meal they've run out of, the goat's not going to care. Sorry, sir, we've run out of the chicken. He goes, oh, that's okay, I'll eat the fish. I'm a goat, I don't care. I'll eat anything you give me.

What about... Even the goat will eat airline food? Yeah, exactly. And what about, this one might only be appropriate for Australia, but what about a support kangaroo? Nah, they punch people. ZDM's brain clip. So yesterday, Clint, we talked about how I made my debut in Woman's Day.

Yeah, you're a big time magazine celebrity now. Also, my cankle made its debut in Woman's Day. Yeah, so two page spread. Bree is spread across both pages. Because I was too large to fit on one page. I like to say long. Long, I was too long. You were too long because you were lying horizontally.

My cankle needed a page to itself. Yeah. If you want to see it, if you haven't seen it, well you could go and pick up a copy of Women's Day or you can go to our Brie and Clint Instagram, which is just Brie and Clint and you can see the magazine and Brie and the cankle right there. I'm so glad you did a swipe through

where you zoom up on my cankle. That's so nice of you. Well if I zoom, then they can do an even zoomier zoom on that zoom. Right, right, got it. You know, you know. Which, I mean, that's the first thing, you know, there was a few things I noticed. The article's amazing, can I say.

They did a lovely job on the article. Very complimentary. Very complimentary. I love how they pointed out which one was Channing Tatum and which one was me, just in case people got confused. It was great. But then a few people, because I put it on my social media, and a few people started commenting on the way I was dressed

and the way I was styled. Apart from the kenkle, it's definitely the elephant in the room. If you haven't seen it, I mean, I'm not going to lie, not something I would pick out for myself. It's a red knitted turtleneck with a tight pair of white capris and a hoop earring. Is it just one hoop earring? Like you're some kind of J-Lo-styled pirate?

I don't know. Let's just say it's not me. I would never wear that outfit. It makes me look a little bit older. My favourite comment on our Instagram about it is someone who goes, what is the date of this magazine? Look, I thought it'd be fun because I was getting an absolute giggle out of some of the things that people were writing

and saying what I looked like. So I thought this afternoon we could do a bit of a mean tweet style where I read out what people thought I looked like in that Woman's Day article. Yeah, and if you don't laugh, you're going to cry, so you may as well give it a go. Let me sit the tone for you. Okay, here we go. Take us through some of the feedback. Here's the feedback I've gotten from what I look like in the Woman's Day article. In this photo, you look like someone who is about to get their life insurance in order.

Or their will. That's great. Thanks for the feedback. Or Cigna funeral insurance. Oh my God. You look like they airbrushed you into a 48 year old woman. It gets better. You know who you look like in this photo? You look like someone who's running a knitting club. You do look like someone, and it looks like you've knitted that turtleneck yourself too. I'd own that.

Yeah. I'd like that. You look like one of the original cast members from The Golden Girls. Well, not that old. Hopefully it's Betty White they're talking about. You look like your name is Susan, and you drink your weight in Savvy B's, buy a Thermomix and never use it, but you join all the local Thermomix pages on Facebook anyway.

How good's a Thermomix and a Savvy B though? So good. In this picture, you look like you wear Spanx, not under a ball gown, just in general, every day. They're nice, though, holding everything together. Suck it in. I need that suction. You look like my mum in this picture, and my mum is old.

She died in 1983. You look like you're a mum with an addiction to your son's ADD medication. Oh, brutal. Brutal. You look like someone who could actually afford Lululemon in this picture. That's kind of a compliment. That is kind of a compliment. You look like the lead speaker at my kids' PTA meetings.

Her name is Barbara. You definitely look like a Barbara. You know what you look like the lead speaker at my kids' PTA meetings. Her name is Barbara. You definitely look like a Barbara. You know what you look like? You look like someone who wants to speak to the manager. I'm definitely making a complaint. I'm making a complaint. If you would like to see Barbara in all of her glory, why don't you log on now?

Bree and Clint on Instagram. Please be nice. Or not. I'm enjoying both. Zedian's Bree and Clint. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Bree and Clint's birthday banger.

Just gives us a chance to reminisce here at ZM, play some of the songs you might never hear on ZM. Yeah, some stuff that probably got played way back in the day, but doesn't get enough attention anymore. No, we get your birthday and we figure out what song was actually topping the charts on your 16th birthday. Let's kick it off this afternoon with Annalise. Hello.

Hiya. What's your birthday? The 21st of February, 1998. Okay, Annalise, you were 16 in 2014 on the 21st of February and topping the charts was this. One of the biggest songs of the last, like, yeah, five years for sure. How do you feel about that one, Annalise? See, I don't know.

I'm really conflicted because I love it so much, but it's all overplayed. It's so overplayed. Agreed. And once it's in your head, like, it don't know. I'm really conflicted because I love it so much, but it's so overplayed. It's so overplayed. Agreed. And once it's in your head, like, it's in there. In 10 years' time, Annalise, once we've all, like, had a chance to rest from happy, probably how long it's going to take for us to get over it, it'll be a classic again. Exactly.

So call us back when you're 30 is what I'm saying. Yeah, it kind of makes me not happy. Next, to play birthday banger, Sophia. Hi, Sophia. Hello. Hi. What's your birthday, Sophia? Oh, my God.

It's not the same year she was born. It was the year my son was born. That's all right. That's the best part about birthday banger. 12th of August, 1970. Oh, happy birthday for a recent birthday. Thank you. You were 16 in 1986 on the 12th of August,

good year back in the 80s, and this was top of the charts. Sophia. Horrible. Do you know this song? I wish I didn't. This is, for those who don't know, this is the 1986 America's Cup Team New Zealand theme song.

Right. It was kind of like our Heal the World, you know, the Band-Aid song. Gotcha. So it's a whole bunch of celebrities, New Zealand celebrities from the 80s, not good ones, singing about a boat. Sophia, unfortunately, the birthday banger chooses you. Oh, my God. See, I didn't start really liking music until Pump Up, the volume started. Got it.

Well, good luck to you, Sophia. Finally, Nina. Hi, Nina. Hi, guys. What's your birthday? 3rd of May, 86. Okay, Nina, you were 16 in 2002 on the 3rd of May. And top of the charts on that day was this.

This is a band called The Calling. Do you remember The Calling, Nina? Yeah, I do actually. Yeah, okay. What do you think of it? It's a good song. It's good to play it now and then. It's better than Sailing Away.

It's definitely better than Sailing Away. Is it better than Pharrell Happy? Yes. It is. That's the thing. When was the last time a good bit of middle-of-the-road alt-rock from the early 2000s got played on ZD? Oh, how good's The Calling?

You know who was one of my favourite bands? The Calling? The Calling. Me too. You know who I want to go see live in concert? The Calling. Hey, guess what, Nina? Nina.

Yay! It's on. Your birthday back in the soft room. Secret sounds next. Bree and Clint, zit in. Yeah, we'll be there This is The Rock. Bloody Maury Fair, mate.

What are you guys doing? Hi, Ross. Hey, Ross. Good to see you. Birthday bag your head against the wall. Hey, no, that was good. This is The Calling. What's wrong with The Calling?

Well, it just took me a while to wake up, first and foremost. And from the slumber that that put me in to come in here and say, that was a poor choice. Play Sailing Away, mate. It's national pride. Nah, that's one of those songs you've got to lower your register for

and sing in that accent that was so popular at the time. You're far good and I'm good. What about For All Happy? No one's ever heard that song. That song launched

the career of Nickelback. We'll strike that up as a yes. That's a beauty of birthday banger. Is that a no from you, Ross? It's a no from me. Oh, no, he's putting a mark on the wall. All right, good to see you, Ross. Always good to see you.

We'll be back tomorrow with a bit of Neil Diamond on birthday banger. Zinni is brain clad. One of my favourite movies from the early 2000s was the movie with Mel Gibson, What Women Want. Oh, the one where he could read the ladies' minds? Yeah, he got electrocuted in the bath and he woke up with the power of hearing what all the ladies were thinking. You want a little bit of it?

Yeah, a little bit. This is the movie. I can hear what women think. Whoa, lighten up in that aftershave, buddy. I'm talking personal, private stuff. The stuff that nobody on Earth is supposed to hear, I hear that stuff. I don't know how this happened to you or why, but you may just be the luckiest man on earth.

It's back in the glory days before Mel Gibson was a notorious anti-semitic. Went rogue. Yeah. Really rogue. Yeah. Before he made that, remember he made Passion of the Christ?

Yeah. And then at the same time, how could we forget? Did some drink driving and yelled, I think he did drink driving. Yeah. And then yelled at a Jewish cop. Anyway, let's not get bogged down in the details.

How good was the movie? The movie was great. And I got excited when I read that they're doing a remake of that movie but a gender role reversal. Oh. So instead of what women want, they're now doing what men want. Like a Freaky Friday. Yeah, different version.

So I think her name's Taraji P. Henson will be playing the main character. And it's great because she works as a sports agent and pretty much the exact same storyline, except Mel Gibson worked in an ad agency. But she kind of gets this power where she hits her head and she wakes up and she can hear what all the men are thinking. Oh, no. Not necessarily a blessing. What do you think is going to be in the film? What do you think she would be hearing? Men's thoughts.

I feel like it would be two things. Yeah. Food, food, food, food, food, food. The other one would be sex, sex, sex, sex. It wouldn't even be that. It might be a bit more as it would be boobies, boobies, boobies, boobies, boobies, boobies. Do you feel like men are a pretty simple kind of creature? I really do.

And I think that, you know, when girls are talking, you see other girls talking to their girlfriends and they're like, I just don't understand what he's thinking or what he wants. We're not that deep. Like we really are not that deep. When it comes down to it, what men want is food, sex and a sandwich. That's exactly what Gary said to us today. Yeah, I got the power.

We said that to Soundkeeper Gary. Like, Gary, if you could have anything, he goes, food, sex, sandwich. I'm like, two of those are food. Two of those are food. Which I mean we, I mean me personally, I have no idea what you guys want. I'm trying to go a bit deeper because most of the time it's food or a beer. Footy. Yeah.

Real base level crap. Now, I'm not a gamer, but for a lot of dudes it would be like, oh, I wish I could get on Fortnite right now for a lot of guys. Yeah. If I like really look inside myself and I go, what do I want? What do I want? What do I want? I don't know.

Maybe like a photo with Richie McCall where I look cool. I don't know. You're a weird guy. I don't know what I want. They really had to dig for something there. It's like when people say to you, what do you want for your birthday? I don't know. I don't know.

When people say nothing, that's a lie, by the way. No, for men, for men, it quite often is the truth because what you see for a loss is what you get. I want to ask the men who are listening to ZM right now, 0800DIALZM, what do men really want? What do you want? The simple things. Sum it up for us in two, three words.

No, we'll talk to a complex man if there's one listening. He's like, I just want someone to give me a cuddle. A cuddle and a kiss. Yeah, okay, all right. I don't think you're going to be blown away by the glimpse into the opposite sex you're about to give me. No, and I love that. I love that guys are simple

and they just want the simple creature comforts of life. Someone's texted and said, what do men think? What are men thinking? Itchy balls most of the time. 0800 dial ZM right now. Give us an insight. What do men thinking? Itchy balls most of the time. 0800 dial ZM right now. Give us an insight. What do men really want? ZDM's brilliant client.

You know how in recent years they're just taking old movies that went really well at the box office and they're turning them into remakes? Yeah. Yeah, that's happening with What Women Want. Remember that movie? Yeah, the Mel Gibson one. Yeah, remember this movie?

Oh, yeah. I can hear what women think. Whoa, lighten up that aftersh Yeah, the Mel Gibson one. Yeah, remember this movie? Oh, yeah. I can hear what women think. Whoa, lighten up that aftershave, buddy. I'm talking personal, private stuff. The stuff that nobody on earth is supposed to hear, I hear that stuff. I don't know how this happened to you or why, but you may just be the luckiest man on earth. It's a great film.

He falls into a bath and he gets electrocuted and he wakes up and he can hear what every lady's thinking. By a hairdryer, from memory, he gets electrocuted by a hairdryer. Yes. Yeah, so he was. A woman's appliance which gives him the ability to understand women. It's a genius concept. So the remake, which is exciting, is they're twisting it around

and they're actually doing what men want, where a woman gains the power of hearing what exactly men are thinking. You don't want it, ladies. I'm telling you right now, you don't want it. Not good? You don't want the, ladies. I'm telling you right now, you don't want it. Not good? You don't want the ability. No, just not interesting. You've already asked,

so you've asked men listening to ZM today to get in contact and say, tell us, what do you want? I want to know. Can I give you a snapshot of the texts? Go for it. Socks and undies. That's right.

That's actually what we do want. Socks and undies. You say, what do you want for your birthday? Socks and undies. It's usually true. You know why? Because we don't want to buy them ourselves. It's fair what we do want. Socks and undies. You say, what do you want for your birthday? Socks and undies. It's usually true. You know why? Because we don't want to buy them ourselves. It's fair enough.

What do men want? Nice bacon. Not that crappy sheep bacon. From the text machine, food, sex, and money so we can buy more food. See, it's brilliant. Just basic stuff. Oh, 800 dial ZM. Jared? Is. Jared?

Is it Jared? Or Robert? Robert. Robert, sorry, we're having a bit of issue with the phones. Hi, Robert. Hi, Robert. We want to know, what exactly do you want? Man cave.

Oh, you want a man cave? Yeah, but basically making it as like a man cave slash woman cave. So make it a unisex cave. I don't think you can say woman cave. I think that kind of... That's a different kind of cave, Robert. It kind of sounds like something else. Well, you've got to give something that a woman wants as well.

You can't just be, you know... How nice does Robert sound? He's an equal opportunist cavist. That's so nice, Robert. I'd love to be your partner. What goes in your man cave, Robert? Well, pretty much a pool table, TV, playstation.

And then you've got the little, you know, the woman stuff, you know, like a mirror and makeup and all that kind of stuff and alcohol. Me and my partner are both thinking if we won Lotto, that's the thing that we would do. We would make a unicef cave that both of us can have fun in. That's beautiful.

Robert's cute. Hang on, is it the same cave and you just both have stuff in there that you like? Yeah, pretty much. Oh, that's even nicer. I can't deal. Thanks, Robert. Let's go straight to Jared. Jared, what do men want?

I reckon men want some power tools and something good to look at. Something shiny, Jared. Bring us right back down to earth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have both of those things already, Jared? I have something good to look at, but I'm at Mitre 10 Mega now, so I'm getting some more power tools.

I was going to say you can make something with the power tools. You are not calling us from Mitre 10 Mega. Are you really? I could take a picture, but no. He's a true man. I love that. Finally, but yeah. He's a true man. I love that. Finally, George, what do men want? All I want is $22 million.

That's it. What do you want? That's it. $22 million. Is that the Powerball tonight? Yep. All I want is money. You just want to be healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Don't forget about wise. I love George. Sets the bar low at 22 billion. That's it. Good luck, everybody. Especially George. He had a lot of tickets, actually. I miss Robert.

Zee is brilliant, Clint. If there's one thing we love here in New Zealand, it's global recognition. It's us knowing that we have movie stars that people like and want to hire and all blacks that people respect and cities that people want to live in. Well, guess what?

We no longer have the cities. We had one city in the global top 10 most livable cities in the world. That was Auckland. And as of today, the new list has been published and we've dropped out. Auckland's not in there anymore. We were eighth.

We were in eighth place. Now we've dropped four places to twelfth. Yeah, I was reading this this morning actually. So do they release this list every year? Yeah. Right. So they didn't specify why. Yeah, it's probably because Auckland it costs so much in rent.

Could be. It is a liveable index. Could be a part of it. Do you want to know what the top ten is now? Yeah. So the top ten most liveable cities from 1st to 10th, Vienna, Melbourne, Osaka, Calgary, Sydney, Vancouver, Toronto, Tokyo, Copenhagen, and in 10th, Adelaide. We got beat by Adelaide. Pretty much you want to live in Japan, Canada, or Australia.

Pretty much, yeah. That's literally the top 10. That's pretty much what it is with a little bit of Copenhagen stuck in Japan, Canada or Australia. Pretty much, yeah. That's literally the top ten. That's pretty much what it is. With a little bit of coconut. Adelaide? Adelaide. I've been to Adelaide. Everything I've heard about Adelaide.

It's a dump. That's what I've heard. Auckland kicks Adelaide's butt. But according to this list, it's better than Auckland. It's more livable than Auckland. Although it is cheap. Is it? Cheap to buy a place in Adelaide because no one wants to live there.

You know what Auckland needs? What? It's not an underground train and it's not a new indoor stadium. It's none of those things. A miniature pony farm. Not a miniature pony farm, although that would help. It's just a bit of a zhuzh and by that I mean a good marketing campaign. Waterpark.

It needs an image overhaul. A dream world. It needs someone to come in, shine up the place, and re-present it to the world. So that's what I've done this afternoon. I've put together, let's call it a marketing campaign to get Auckland back into the top 10, get more people wanting to live here in Auckland and get it back into the top 10 cities,

most liveable cities in the world. So an ad. Yeah, here it is. This is what I got. Do you love traffic? Do aggressive drivers make you feel right at home? Oh my God, watch where you're going, you f***ing b****es. And do you enjoy constantly being rained on every 15 minutes?

Then Auckland City is waiting for you. Home to New Zealand's worst rugby team, named after that feeling you get when you watch their games, the Blues. And the Hurricanes heap the heartache on the Blues at Eden Park. Or perhaps it's music you love.

Great news, Auckland gets all the concerts. All you have to do is choose whether you want to buy a ticket to a show or groceries for that month. I'm going to be so skinny for Ed Sheeran. Or dead. And to top it all off, you'll live in a beautiful, leaky and mouldy two-bedroom apartment

for the low, low price of just $1 million. It's giving me breathing problems. Auckland. It's got the Sky Tower, which is actually just a casino with a really long elevator. Go on, live here, please. Zinni is brilliant. Every week on this show, a Wednesday, we like to take a bit of time where I just have a whinge, really,

about some of the problems. Is that just Wednesdays? Yeah. No, that's every day. I was going to say. That's every day. But we like to highlight it. I think that's a strapline for our show. Bree and Clint, that's every day. I was going to say. That's every day. But we like to highlight it. I think that's the strapline for our show.

Bree and Clint having a whinge. Four to seven weekdays. We should put that on the billboards. Check it out. Yeah, yeah. We should either put Bree and Clint having a whinge or Bree and Clint shit yarns. But it's not just us.

You're welcome to join us for a whinge or a shit yarn as well. Oh, we love when people jump on the bandwagon. Come on board. And this one in particular is all the ladies. I'm speaking to you. Some of the problems we go through as females, you might have issues that men just don't understand. Might have issues that we don't understand.

We've got a few, trust me. There's quite a lot. We call it hashtag girl problems and we get some of the guys from around the office here to read them out in Hashtag Girl Problems. Ever go on a date and five minutes into it you think, I shaved my legs for this? Hashtag Girl Problems.

I just took 100 selfies and I don't like a single one. Hashtag Girl Problems. When your day is long. I really don't understand females. And I am one. Hashtag girl problems. Overalls are in. But when I wear them, I look like a five-year-old or a farmer.

Hashtag girl problems. Everybody hurts sometimes. Brie, I can't help but notice that you're wearing overalls today. Yeah, my cows are outside. No, you don't look like a farmer, mate. I look like a painter. Oh, you're funny. No, you don't look like a farmer, mate. I look like a painter. Oh, you're funny. No, you don't look like a painter.

Why are we going? You look like an Italian plumber on a Nintendo game. Hey, it's-a me, it's-a me, it's-a me, it's-a me. Zee is brilliant, Clint. Can you please read out what's written on the board? Uh, Clint, secret break. What happened last time we did a secret break? You broke the sacred trust of letting each other have a secret break

and sprung the idea of perming me, giving me a perm. Oh, you're so dramatic. You're so dramatic, mate. Calm down. You put it out there on the radio and then as soon as it's said, it has to happen because everyone goes, that'll be crack up, man. It's not another perm.

So here we are again. Here we are again with another break at about the same time where I don't know what's about to happen. Something happened on the show last night or yesterday afternoon and I was shook. It shook me to my core. Something I found out about you. I'm not really too sure what to think.

I've grabbed the audio from yesterday. Do you remember, Clint, this happening? Friends. You want a Friends movie? Yes. Oh, yes. It'd be a bit sad. Mate, are you not on board Friends either?

No, no, no, no. Have you seen? No, no, no. Don't talk to me. I can't believe you're not on board with Friends. Sorry, I just can't. I love Friends. I don't want a movie. I don't want a movie.

I don't want a movie. So you do like Friends? I love Friends. Oh, now he's backtracking. He's backtracking. Stand by, Art. I know that you don't want a movie, but I feel like you weren't on the Friends train

and then you jumped on board. No, no, no, no, no, no. I love Friends. Okay. I'm cool like everyone else. I love what everyone loves. Right. Whatever you love, I love, man. Whatever you like, I like.. I love Friends. Okay. I'm cool like everyone else. I love what everyone loves. Right. Whatever you love, I love, man.

Whatever you like, I like. You're a Friends fan. How good's Love Island? Would you say? I'm a Friends fan, yeah. Excellent. Can you kick off the music, please? Welcome to Clinton Roberts takes on the Friends quiz.

Yeah, I can do this. I love Friends. All right. I love Friends. This is a quiz that I have taken this afternoon as a true friends fan. I love Johnny. How are you doing? Oh, wow.

That was a joke. And I passed. You took a friends quiz. You passed. I passed. Well, if you pass, I'll pass. And let's see if you pass this afternoon. Are we ready?

Hit me. What is the name of the dog that Phoebe hides in Monica's apartment in the episode where Chandler doesn't like dogs? I've never seen that episode. Trick question. Is it A, Duke, B, Fluffy, C, Clunkers, or D, Spike? Duke. Pow, pow.

It's Clunkers. I've never seen that episode. The only dog I know I'm friends with is that big white one. Right, so. It's clunkers. I've never seen that episode. The only dog I know on Friends is that big white one. Right, so you're one down. Question number two. I've mixed in a few easy and hard ones. Okay, cool. So here's question number two.

When and where did Monica and Chandler first hook up? At Ross's wedding. Where? On a tropical island. That's half a point. That's half a point? On a tropical island. That's half a point. That's half a point? It was in England, but it was at Ross's wedding. The island of England.

That's pretty good. That'll do. So you got half a point? Yeah, that'll do. I'll give you half a point. And Joey was a celebrant. Ooh, suck on that. He wasn't, actually.

That was at Monica and Chandler's wedding, my friend. That's fine. No, that wasn't a question. That was a bonus one for me. Okay, question number three. Question number three. I'm one from two. You're half from two.

What is the address Chandler gives Janice when he lies about moving to Yemen? No, that's... Is it A? I got this question right. No, you... Okay. I did. A, 15 Yemen Road, Yemen.

B, 13 Desert Road, Yemen. C, 93 Yemenite Street, Yemen. Or D, 47 Yemen Street, Yemen. I'm going to go with option C, Yemenite Street, Yemen. It was A, 15 Yemen Road, Yemen. Let's move on to question number four. Which main Friends character marries Emily? Ross.

No, trick question. He says the wrong name at the aisle. Oh, yes, but they still have to get married because it's legally binding. What is your final answer? They go through it and she escapes out the toilet window. The correct answer is Ross. That is correct. Damn, Friends expert over here.

You're one and a half out of like a million. Let's go to question number five. Can I say that was an easy question too? I'm giving you a few easy ones.

When Joey couldn't afford to buy the full set of encyclopedias, which single volume did he buy? I got this question right. Is it A,

M, B, J, C, Q, D, V. J for Joey. That's wrong. Right. Is it A, M, B, J, C, Q, D, V? J for Joey.

That's wrong. What was it? It's V. Question number six. Which one of the Friends characters married someone who turned out to be gay? Ross, his first wife. That's correct. That is correct.

You're getting all the easy ones right, so that's a plus. You know what I'm getting? I'm getting all the Ross questions. You know when they do the which friends are you quiz? Damn it, I'm Ross. You are Ross. What is the name of the guy that Monica dates that is nearly twice her age? Tom Selleck.

No, what's his name? Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I. We need you to lock in his character's name. Mike. No, it's Richard. Who is Emma? Emma is Ross's daughter. Damn it, why am I getting all the Ross questions right?

All right, last question. Final question. What is Ross's name? Ross. No, come on, go on. What is the name of the band at Chandler and Monica's wedding? No, absolutely no idea. Is it A, The Smelly Cats, B, The Jungle Kids, C, The Swing Kings or D, Carcass?

D, Carcass. No. It's The Swing Kings. Mate, I'll give it to you. You're a half-assed fan. Did I get 50%? Not even. This weekend, I am going on a big boys trip.

All the guys have got a group chat going. We've got an itinerary for the weekend. Going to Sydney with the aim of seeing the All Blacks play Australia. Who did up the itinerary? The guy who lives in Sydney. The guy whose house we're going to stay at. So there's eight of us. Is he the guy that like literally at an event will be like,

all right, eyes on me, eyes on me, everyone? Not generally. No? No, not normally, which may explain what's happened here. So all the flights are booked. Everyone's locked in. We're all going. Yeah, you spent $900 on your flights.

Can you stop bringing that bit up? I'm just saying. I'm trying to hide that bit. Who from? Your wife? She knows now. She knows. Does she know?

Yeah. The whole extent? She knows it was a bit more than it needed to be. Okay. So those $900 flights could be all for nothing because the guy in charge of the itinerary, the guy who lives in Sydney, the guy who's organising the bulk of the activity

has forgot the key ingredient, the tickets to the rugby game. You mentioned this earlier. What the hell? How do you miss that? Isn't that what the whole weekend's about? We've had this plan for months, like three months. And we said at the start, hey, we're so organised this year,

why don't we get in and get really good seats? There'll be any seats available now. Why don't we get in and get really good seats? There'll be any seats available now. Why don't we sit on halfway? Why don't we go somewhere where we can see everything and we can really enjoy the game? You're going to have seats in the nosebleed section. So he sends through a map of the stadium. And this is a big stadium.

It's ANZ Stadium, so it's where they had the Olympics. It holds 100,000 people. It's huge. It's massive. It's huge. And I've been to a couple of rugby games there. Yeah. And if you don't have good seats, because it's built for an

athletics event, trust me, mate, it's not built for a rugby match. So there's eight of us and that's the issue. The game's not going to sell out. It's not going to sell out. But we want to sit together, all eight of us. The only place he could sit at us was in the very top of one of the stands

in the far corner. Oh, my God. All the way to Sydney so that we can sit in the top. We better watch it on TV. Let me just break it down for you. I've sat in really bad seats in that stadium. I think I went to see Adele. Adele looked like a dot.

This is the guy who, when he came over here earlier this year, we went to the All Blacks in Auckland as well. And he had the job of booking our tickets. There were 12 of us. He booked them so late that we had to sit in groups of three all around the stadium. Well, why didn't you learn your lesson? Because we thought

he'd learned his lesson. We thought from that one that he'd figured it out. And we were goading and we were like, get those tickets, man. Get those tickets, man. I'd be ropeable. I'd be absolutely ropeable. I am ropeable. Like you're going over there to watch the rugby and now you're not even going to be able to see it.

It's not even like it's like a fun activity on the side. It is the reason for the trip. It's the whole reason that we're going. Did you play it cool? Were you like, it's fine? Or were you like kept it real and was like are you serious? I haven't replied yet. I haven't replied yet.

They're not even cheap, the tickets at the top. It's not even like they're only 20 bucks. They're 150 bucks to sit in the top of the stand. Oh my god. This is a very expensive boys weekend. I'm not very expensive boys' weekend. No, I'm not going to buy that seat.

They haven't been purchased. I'm not going to sit there. Tell everyone about what you're taking to the game. Oh, yeah, I want to take one. No. You're taking a limo to the game? No, that's because there's eight of us. Well, that's if you end up going because you might not get tickets.

That's because the limo is actually cheaper than – no, it is. It is. It's cheaper than four Ubers. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. Honestly, it is. It is. It's cheaper than four Ubers. It is. It is. It is. It is. Honestly, it is.

It's a life hack. Anyway, I was wondering if we could take some calls this evening when you or someone you know has forgotten the key ingredient, like the main reason for the event. Like you take someone home and you get into bed

and you're like, oh, damn it. Yeah, that's a key ingredient for sure. Probably a little X-rated for the time of course. I was thinking like wedding ring. Right. You know that? I love how my brain goes one way.

You can tell who's married. 0800 dial ZM. When did you or someone else forget the key ingredient? ZM's brain, Clint. We're just talking about how rich Clint is and how he's taking $900 flights to Australia for one night. Oh, no, that's right. You changed your flight and it's costing you an extra $300.

Yeah, but I get an extra day. Oh, that's right, yeah, where you'll spend more money. It's not about me. We're not talking about me. And your KOTU membership. No, we're not talking about me. Did I say it right this time. It's not about me. We're not talking about me. And your KORU membership. No, we're not talking about me. Did I say it right this time? Your KORU membership.

We're not talking about me. We're talking about the guy who's organising the activities. And I love how in the break. You make it sound so bougie like this is what I do every weekend. Mate, in the break you just said, like we were just talking about how you're taking a limo. Yes, because you can drink in it and it's an hour's drive out of the city. And in the break just then you go,

just so you know, it's a Hummer limo. That's right. I'm taking a Hummer limo to the Bledisloe. We, we, we. The limo is a life hack. Just me. I heard you're just taking the limo. It's $40 each. It's $40 each.

I heard you're making everyone else get their own limo. And you can drink in it and you can play your own music. No. Excuse me. We're talking about, because we're going to the All Blacks game and the guy organising, there's eight of us. In a box, right? You're sitting in a box.

I wish we were sitting in a box. We're sitting in the top corner of the stand. If he books these tickets, so far away. It's a 100,000 seat stadium. They built it for the Olympics. He's had three months to buy the tickets. He decided to look into them on Monday, the Monday before the game. Mate, some people would just be happy to go.

I am happy to go. Sorry you don't get on the try line or on the halfway mark, mate. Look, I would be happy to go if I didn't shell out more money than I have on flights, okay? No, I get it. I get it.

I'd be annoyed. He's waited too long and now you guys all have crappy seats. He's forgotten the key ingredient. It's the whole point of the weekend. It's the whole point of the weekend. It's the whole point of the weekend. I could have saved a lot of money and stayed here and watched it on TV. So we want to know from you, on 0800-DALZINIUM.

Do you have a KOTU membership? When did you forget the key ingredient? Tim, hi. Hi, Tim. Hello, how are you? Good. Do you have a Kauru membership? Actually,

I do. Tim, it's an investment, isn't it? Do you catch a limo hummer to work, Tim? Well, no, but I would if I could. Yeah, wouldn't we all? Tim, when did you forget the key ingredient?

Well, my girlfriend at the time well, she's my wife now but decided to go off camping so we drove two and a half hours to Coromandel I'd done the job of packing the car and we unpacked the car in Coromandel and discovered I'd left the pink behind

Fantastic You're sleeping in the car, Tim Did you sleep in the it was extra romantic, you sleep in the car? Well, no, it was a two and a half hour drive back and then a two and a half hour drive back again, so.

Oh, no, give up. No, no, no, don't go back. You should have just done a Titanic in the car with the hand down the window. I'm persistent. Thank you, Tim. Mike, when did you, hi, g'day. G'day, mate. Mike, when did you...

Hi, how are you? Hi, g'day. G'day, mate. Hey, mate. Your friends are pratt. Tell us about your Kauru membership. All right, so I'm from the UK, and when I got to New Zealand, you guys used a few terms, and one of them was

at a big event for work, and they said, oh, bring a plate. Yeah. And so I queried the idea, bring a plate, and I went, yeah, yeah, yeah, bring a plate. So that's what I took, just a plate. An empty plate. Oh, my God. Are you joking, Mike? Yeah, yeah,, bring a plate. And I went, yeah, yeah, yeah, bring a plate. So that's what I took, just a plate. An empty plate. Oh, my God.

Are you joking, Mike? Yeah, yeah, it was a plate. But, yeah, no, they looked at me pretty strange, and I learned pretty quick, but, yeah. I tell you what, though, how good was it when you filled that empty plate up with all the free food? Oh, no, it was brilliant, mate. I didn't have to put anything into it, just a plate.

Yeah, you're winning. Well done. Congratulations. Nice work, Mike. Also, Mike, what would you do this weekend, this situation? What would you do? So the seats haven't been booked yet. The only ones left are in the nosebleeds.

What do we do? It's a boy's night. Just go and have a good time and do something afterwards if you have to. Just make the most of it. There you go. Mike's got a good attitude. Yeah, strippers. Zinni is Brie and Clint. Oh, so the guys in Paris. Oh's got a good attitude. Yeah, strippers. Zinian's Brinkland.

So the guys in Paris. Oh, gay Paris. Paris. Bonjour. They're very upset at the moment. And it's something that they've installed. They're usually quite upset about something. Yeah.

I was there for our honeymoon. What are they like, the people in Paris? Quite angry. Really? Like quite. It's a city of love. City of love. They're quite rude.

Yeah, I've heard that. Well, they're getting really annoyed at something that the local council is installing on all the footpaths and that is public urinals. Oh, wee wee. Sorry. Wee wee, you'll pee-pee. Literally. So they're installing these bright red urinals on all of these corners and streets in an attempt to get people to stop peeing on the roads.

So how awkward for people. Like I guess people are already doing it because they're weeing in public. Yeah. But so the urinal is actually called, this is such a weird word. Thank you for people. Like, I guess people are already doing it because they're wearing it in public. Yeah. But so the urinal is actually called, this is such a weird word. Thank you for that. Sorry, I'm just sitting the scene a little bit. Uri trotanoia. Oh, yeah.

The French have it. Or, as the French say, That's how you say it with a French accent. Is it? Yeah. Is it actually? So it's a combination of the French words urinal and pavement and it kind of looks like kind of a post box

and you pee into the box part and then the wee runs down into like a straw bed underneath and it gets turned into compost. Wait, so you're not in a cubicle? No. There's no doors? No. It's literally like it's a post box in the middle of the street.

And people, men, I'm assuming not ladies. Yeah, I assume men. Can you imagine a lady? She's cocked her leg and she's trying to get into the mirror. I'm picturing her backing up to it. Can you imagine she's like, hold on honey. Wait, I don't want to take the photo yet. I'm picturing her backing up to it. Can you imagine? She's like, hold on, honey.

Wait. I don't want to take the photo yet. I've just got to pee in this thing. The end. I've got to be for men. Yeah, it's for men. Unless you had a shiwi. Oh, shiwi.

You could have a shiwi-wi. Shiwi-wi. Which I think is a, you know, I get why they'd be kind of angry because they're everywhere and they're bright red. Yeah, it's better than peeing in a doorway. Better than having it on the street. Yeah. Is it, though?

Yeah, it's kind of weird. Well, if you're going to Paris soon, strap in. It's not all that's cracked up to me. And don't pee in a post box because they look similar. Ziddy's Brickland.