ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – August 29th 2018

Episode Date: August 29, 2018

Friends ClapsPants life-hackFake MelaniaBirthday Banger!Is your partner a bad kisser?#GirlProblemsWhat do you get on a sundae?Don’t squat on the looIs this the dream job?Fan swaps sides for $3,500See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM! ZM! Let's go, go, go! Now let me see your Vans! ZM's Brie and Clint! Did that secret sound thing you just heard send shivers up your spine? I've got tingling in places I shouldn't have tingling. So what it doesn't say is there's only two more chances.

Literally. We're going to do it at 5 o'clock today and then if it doesn't go, it's happening at 8am with Fletchbourne and Megan tomorrow and whether someone wins it then or Annabelle gets it, someone at 8am with Fletchborn and Megan tomorrow and whether someone wins it then or Annabelle gets it, someone's getting 50 grand. Can I say the thing? Yeah, say the thing. The big thing that's happening? Yeah. So if someone doesn't guess

it with us this afternoon then we're giving out the biggest clue of all. Yeah. So what that clue will do is it will really kind of level up the playing field. Yes. But there'll only be

one guess left. Literally one more guess and the clue could really open it up to a few people. We haven't seen the clue yet. It's currently in an envelope on the table. I want to open it so bad. Yeah, me too. But this is what we're going to do. We're going to get to five o'clock. We're going to do Secret Sound as normal with

Soundkey Brandabel. You can call up and give that a go. We're also, if that person doesn't get it, we're going to give someone a chance, the queue jumper. Now, how do we find the queue jumper, guys? How do we find the person who gets to jump the queue and have a go? They just apply it online. Right. So someone who hasn't

been able to get through. And they've been absolutely ripping their hair out because they think they know it. They will jump the queue this afternoon. So they will get on with us. Essentially there are two more guesses today and then one guess tomorrow and then it's over. And then it's over. It either goes to Annabelle

or it goes to one of these three people between now and 8am tomorrow. But the thing you have to remember is that the clue will be given out if no one guesses it here on this show this afternoon. Yes, and one person will go forward with that clue. Oh, that's big. Okay, 5 o'clock.

It all starts at 5 o'clock this afternoon. ZM's secret sound, $50,000, thanks to Save My Bacon. Right now, though, if you know this song, wait for it. Wait, not that one. This one. If you're a big fan of this song and the show, you should call right now 0800 DALZM

if you want to be a part of the Brain Clint team. Either this afternoon, next, we will triumph or we'll fail together. Bit of a game we've invented. Did we invent this game? Yeah, we invented it. Yeah, okay. Well, kind of, not really. You've got to know this song though, alright? Call now.

You've got to know this song to play. 0800-DIAL-ZM if you want to be a part of the team. Bree and Clint, ZM. ZM's Bree and Clint. ZM, Bree and Clint, that's Kyle and Kehlani. It's playing with me. Secret Sound, 5 o'clock. The second to last chance to win $50,000. Before we play the Secret Sound, though, let's play a different game.

This is a game that I've been trying to get across the line on our show for a couple of weeks. You were on board from the start. Yeah, I'm keen. And I feel like it's going to be a bit of fun. All you have to know is this song right here. The Friends theme song. I mean, who doesn't know this great track?

Who sings it? The Remembrance? Yeah, I didn't know. No, I did know that. But became famous on the hit TV show Friends. And I said, I really want to play a game where the people call up and we test how good they are at getting the clap right. Because everyone does the clap. Everyone always does the clap. Under pressure, though. If you're not familiar, there it was right there.

Yeah, this is the part right here. This is the bit you're looking for. Just that. If you don't get it right, very awkward. Yeah. Very awkward. Some people make the mistake of adding extra claps in too because I think there's only one, but then they start adding in an extra verses too.

Oh, right. Anyway, look. But in that clap, how many claps are there? I think there's four. Is there four? I think there's three, four. There's four. Oh, hang on.

Producers are saying four. Yeah, there's four. All right, so this is what we're going to do this afternoon. Let's give it a go. You and I, so the people on the phone right now that have called 0800-DARLS-AT-M, know what we expect. So, Clinton Roberts, are you going to go first? Yeah, I can go first.

All right, here we go. This is what we're after. Go. Got it! Got it, got it, got it, got it. Nailed it. Alright, so we're one from one. Are you ready? I'm ready. Hit me with it. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Oh god, I appreciate the situation.

I really don't want to stop this stuff. Yeah, you got it! You got it! Okay. Alright, so we need everyone on the phones to get this right for us, the Bree and Clint show, to have a win this afternoon. What, you want every single person to nail it. I need everyone. It needs to be 100%.

No pressure, Jenna, but do you understand the rules of the game? Jenna. Bad start. Do you understand the rules of the game? Yes, I do. Alright, Jenna, are you ready? This is your moment. Alright, here we go. Alright, here we go. All right, here we go. No one told you life was going to be this way.

She's got it. She's got it. Okay, well done, Jemma. Congratulations. Nice work, Jenna. Nice work. Thank you. Okay. Excellent.

We're one. We're three from three so far. Let's go to Elish. Elish? Elish? Hello. All right, are you ready? This is your moment. Yeah. Here're one. We're three from three so far. Let's go to Elish. Elish? Elish? Hello. All right. Are you ready?

This is your moment. Yeah. Here we go. Give it to her. Oh! I was so nervous. I was so nervous you weren't going to make it great work

great work alright let's go to Joel Joel no pressure mate but we have a perfect record at the moment do you back yourself I'm backing myself wait mate

alright Joel here we go mate your moment got it got it No one told you life was gonna be this way Yeah! Got it! Got it! Joel, you're a superstar, mate.

Well done. Nice work, Joel. Yes, thank you, guys. Nice work. Let's go. Now's the point where we go, are we pushing our luck doing any more? You know, like we have a perfect record.

I want to go the whole hog. You want to go the whole hog? Yeah, I believe in the people. There's two more people then. Sam, you're second to last. Are you ready? I'm ready. Come on, Sam.

Don't let us down. No one told you life was going to be this way. Sam! The acoustics, the timing, the speed, it had everything. Well done done Nice work Okay Alright let's go to Shannon We can't do too many more

Because I think I'm getting quite sweaty Shannon I hope I don't ruin it for you It's all on you Shannon We believe in you Shannon we're sending you Positive vibes

Major positive vibes Okay Okay Shannon This is you For the people For the Bray and Clint team. Here we go. Oh.

Yeah! It's a clean sweep! It's a clean sweep! Shannon! You got it. Oh, what a moment in history. Tell your friends. Tell your family.

Have a good one. I mean, I've been disappointed people didn't get it right. She's an incredibly easy competition, but, you know, still. How about that? I got the point out there. That's a victory for the whole country, New Zealand. Well done. What a way to start the show.

Zinian's brilliant class. We've just had news. There's a conspiracy theory. We just played the game with the Friends song where we had people putting in the clap where you needed to. It was big. We had five people on the phone. We thought we had five out of five.

We had a dream run. It was a dream run. I said to you in the break, I said, I don't want to bring it up, but I think I might have heard an extra clap. We went to the text machine. Laura, you texted in. Hey, guys. The Odetta did text in.

What did you hear? I heard five claps from Shannon Shannon was last I'm sorry, I'm sorry There was a lot of pressure In the heat of the game, I didn't notice anything I feel like I did, but I just wanted to go with it Now, it's still unconfirmed at this stage

Shannon Replay We have a replay We've got a replay with it. Now, it's still unconfirmed at this stage. Shannon. Replay. We have a replay. We've got a replay. We have a replay. Just before we go to it, I want to offer you the option to, like, is there anything you need to tell us?

No. I'm happy with my clap. She's happy with it. I was ecstatic afterwards. Right. She's celebrated. Now, we know there is four claps. Let's go to the audio ref of the replay.

This is Shannon. This is what happened earlier. Good luck, Shannon. Good luck. Good luck. It's going to be this way. Yeah! Oh.

Oh, no. It's hard to tell way Yeah! Oh no. It's hard to tell. That's four. That, hmm. We've got the slowed down version. Shannon, this is just the claps in super slow, super slow-mo. Here it is. Yeah!

Oh no! Matt. It's five. Shannon. I feel redemption round. You were the fifth person, and you were the one to complete our dream run. Pressure.

And that's what we said. There is pressure with this. We didn't know how anyone was going to perform under pressure. Didn't know how anybody would handle it. Shannon, I feel like you need the opportunity for redemption. Okay. I don't know if I can deal with the pressure. There's even more pressure

on it now. I believe in you. You've got it. Do you have two hands free? I do. Do you know how many claps to put in? I don't know anymore. It's four. Shannon, it's four, okay? Okay.

Are you ready? I believe so. Here we go. You can do it, Shannon. Come on, Shannon. No. Shannon, you muffed it again. I've done it again. Shannon, you've done it again. be this way. No! Shannon! Shannon, you muffed it again!

I've done it again. Shannon, you've done it again. Oh, Shannon! Shannon! She likes things in... My hands need to give them five times. Yeah, I know, mate. I know. You get in the rhythm

and they just leave them minding their own. That was brilliant. Is it third time lucky? No, we're... No, third time lucky. You want to do third time lucky? No, third time lucky. You want to do third time lucky? Yes, I believe in her. I believe she can do it.

This is, Shannon, and this is the last chance, okay? This is the last chance. If we don't get it this time, it's over, okay? And the competition's never coming back. Do you want a third attempt? Okay, good one.

Come on, Shannon. Come on! This is the time! Come on, Shannon. Come on! Get going! Shannon, you did three. Three! Shannon! Shannon! Hang up on me.

Hang up on me. See you, Shannon. Have a good day, mate. See you. Good luck, mate. See you, Shannon. Have a good day, mate. Good luck, mate. See you. Zedian's brilliant Clint. Clint, within the amount of time that you've known me,

what would you say is something that you think about when you think about me? That your pants are undone. It's something that I feel like I'm becoming well known for. At first I thought it was just like a quirky thing you say about yourself, like, oh, I'm the girl who undoes her pants because I'm too full. Then, like, we would be in a situation where that wasn't relevant, we weren't talking about it, and you'd lift your arms up and I would see your pants were undone. And I'm like, oh, my God, she talks the talk

and she actually walks the walk as well. Yeah, no, it's no joke. And maybe I just need to buy some bigger pants. You just need to move over to track pants. Oh, mate, I'm not at that level. Well, if belly restriction is an issue, get elasticated, girl. What? If I wore tracksuit pants, I already have.

Give up. I ate cheese from a bag the other day. I've got a life hack that if you're like me and often you undo your pants, but it can be very invasive when people see that your pants are undone. Also, aren't you worried your pants are going to fall off? Like if I undid my pants and dropped the fly,

like if I undid the dome and dropped the zerp, my pants would fall off when I walked. That's why I have to undo them in the first place. They ain't going anywhere. They're tight. Very tight. Anyway, I've got a life hack for those people and I feel like we need to share it. Someone actually messaged me because they knew

how often I undid my pants and I don't want to get arrested. So they messaged me with this life hack. So I really appreciate that. I've seen this and it's quality. It's very good. I'd never considered anything like this. So I'm going to demonstrate in front of you right now. So hopefully I'm just going to try and explain

what's happening. So say your pants are undone. Which they are. You didn't have to undo those. You just lifted your shirt and we're wearing a black pair of skinny jeans and the top dome is undone. I prepared these earlier. They're zip ones. They're not button fly. Yes. So they're a zip fly. All you

do is you take a normal hair tie that you might have on your wrist. You put that around the button. You then put that through the button hole. Thread the, yeah, through the hair tie through. And then pull the hair tie back over your button. It then gives you an extra, oh, a lot more room and a lot more give. You now have elasticated a pair of jeans. I'm pretty much wearing pregnant pants.

I think this is one of the best life hacks I've ever seen. It's right up there. How about the fact that every girl I know only has one hair tie, so you have to choose whether your hair goes up or your pants stay on. My hair's staying down every time. It's the pants every time. We're going to make a video of this. It's going up right now, actually.

Oh, it's going up right now? Yeah, on our Instagram page, at Bree and Clint, if you can't picture how to do it and you want to learn, there's a tutorial. You can do it right now. It's going to cost you nothing. And it's the best. It's going to cost you nothing. And it's the best. It's going to cost you one hair tie.

It works at weddings, when you're at dinner, maybe you're at your boyfriend's place. No, you're sure you're wearing a dress to a wedding? Nah, jeans. You know there's no, like, waistband on a dress? Like, you can just... Oh, maybe I need to purchase some of those. Have you ever considered a muumuu?

When I wear my overalls, that's my eating suit. you can just... Oh, maybe I need to purchase some of those. Have you ever considered a muumuu? When I wear my overalls, that's my eating suit. Bree and Clint, you can find that video on Facebook or Instagram. Facebook or Instagram at Bree and Clint right now. Zee's Bree and Clint. Have you heard the conspiracy theory that Melania Trump, First Lady of the United States of America, is using a body double?

No, I haven't heard this until today. This has been sort of circulating around the internet for a bit. Suggestions that when Donald Trump makes appearances and you just see Melania standing beside but slightly behind him, that a lot of the time it's not her. Why? Because she doesn't want to be there? Yeah. And she secretly hates it. She secretly hates it.

She didn't really know what she was signing up for and she doesn't want to be there. Have you seen the videos? They're so funny of where Donald Trump tries to grab her hand. Yes. And she pulls her hand away. Yes. Hilarious.

So there's two parts of that where either it's Melania and it shows that she's unhappy. I reckon that is actually her. Or there's another theory that that is the stand-in body double for Melania. And she's not paid for that. That conspiracy theory runs even deeper. Why? That when they use the body double, the body double is also a bodyguard

and it's an extra disguised bodyguard. You make that face. But someone has published a picture. What? Come on. Someone has published a picture of a Secret Service agent standing next to Melania who looks just like her. What?

Yeah. I want to see it. It's crazy. So people are now commenting on it and they made an appearance overnight in Ohio and people have been commenting that it's a body double because they think this one looks like she weighs more than Melania. Okay. They went as far as to say she looks nine kilos heavier. Very specific.

Well, that's super specific. And you can see it around the face and the tummy. Awkward if Melania's just had a big lunch. But that's part of the theory. Now this audio has come out. This is Donald Trump speaking with so-called Melania standing next to him.

Here it is. My wife, Melania, who happens to be right here, finds that subject to be of such vital importance and she's very much involved and as you know, she's on the committee

and really wants to be involved in that process know she's on the committee and really wants to be involved in that process so melania doesn't say anything she just awkwardly nods and why would he say something to a tv camera my wife melania who just happens to be right here my wife melania happens to be right here you know i don't know that's's a stretch. Okay. You know the TV show The View? Yes. So Whoopi Goldberg and whoever, they've done a side-by-side, the image that you're looking at right now.

Okay. And they're picking it apart. Listen to this. That's not Melania. That's the wrong nose. The girl has a different nose. I don't know. Last night...

Wow. And Melania doesn't shake her head like that. So you don't think that's her? She just stands silent. I don't think that that's her nose. Do we see... Let's see the two again. Look at her nose.

Well, maybe it's a shadow. Oh, my gosh. I don't know. Wow. You know, the Secret Service says that they don't use body doubles, that that's not a... I don't know what they would tell us anyway, exactly. They would say that, though, wouldn't they?

Of course they would. They're not going to come out and say... Yeah, sometimes we use a fake Melania. I hate that you've brought this to my attention because I'm someone who I become obsessed. Yeah, you're never not going to be able to see it now. Just watch. I mean, they look very similar. Yeah.

If you're ever watching the news and she's there and she doesn't speak, ask yourself, is that the real Melania or are they using a body double? I love shit like this. So good. I bet if they used a body double for me, it'd be some dude. We get your birthdays. We figure out what was topping the charts in New Zealand on your 16th birthday.

Easy peasy, right? Yeah. Most of the time. We then play the best song. Yeah, well, sometimes we're given a bit of a dilemma. Sometimes you get stinkers and you have to pick. Sometimes you get too many good options. I know.

It's either one way or the other. Laura, let's find out what your birthday banger is, okay? Okay. What's your birthday, Laura? Well, I just had it. It's on the 18th of August, 1990. Oh, well, happy birthday for the other day. You were 16 in 2006 on the 18th of August,

and on that day, this was number one. The mischievous girl, whatever you are. A banger. And a few that are one. Yeah, get it, Laura. Get it, Laura. I'm going to go ahead and assume she likes that one. She's fine.

I like her. Okay, she's got a good chance at winning this thing. Who's next? Let's go with Dave. Hello, Dave. How you going? Good. What's your birthday, mate?

4th of November, 1975. Okay, Dave, you were 16. Yeah, I love how Dave hesitated before he told us. He's like, no, guys, you might need to sit down for this one. You sound really young. You do, Dave. A lot younger. Oh, good.

Yeah, good. Excellent. You were 16 in 1991 on the 4th of November, and back in the 90s, this was top of the charts. Now, Dave, do you recognise this song? Oh, yeah, just bury me now. This is U2 and it's a song called The Fly. Do you know it?

Yep. Is it what was playing at your 16th birthday in 1991? No. No. Yeah, not U2's biggest song. Nah. No. I feel like U2 created a world of enemies when they forced their album upon everyone's phone. No. I feel like U2 created a world of enemies

when they forced their album upon everyone's phone. Yeah. I think before that, they could have been one of the best bands of the decade. Yeah, it's really tarnished their history. I actually really dislike them now because of that. Well, I don't think we'll be playing that. It's our birthday banger.

Hey, Bailey. Hi, Bailey. Hey, how's it going? Good. Let's round it out. What's your birthday? I really expected a girl on the end of Bailey and then this really deep voice comes through.

Yeah. Yeah, good day. I really love that name for a guy. I think it's hot. What's your birthday, Bailey? 15th of the 2nd, 2000. Okay, Bailey, you were 16 in 2016 on the 15th of February, and this is your birthday banger.

My mama don't like you, and she likes everyone. Banger. Banger, you reckon, Bailey? I quite like promiscuous girl, that. Yeah. I like how we had Dave on before who was born in the 70s and sounded like a young man. I was just about to say that. And then we've got Bailey here. Are you 18, Bailey? Yeah, yeah, I'm 18.

And you sound like you're 45 and you drive a massive truck around. Yeah. All right. Bailey's voice is hot. Can you? Okay, sorry. I mean, it's fine. He's still here, though.

Awkward. Bailey, seeing as Bree's treating you as a piece of meat, why don't you choose the song that wins birthday banner today? Oh, this is a spanner. I'm going to have to go from SQ to LA. Oh, thank God he didn't say you two. Wait a minute. We played that recently in birthday banner.

Yeah, but Bailey wants to hear it. Yeah, give him what he wants, actually. Yeah. Bailey can have whatever. Bailey wants to hear it, and also I think Laura wants to hear it. Laura, do you want to hear it? Oh, my God, yes. Okay, cool.

Do you want Bailey's number as well? And Bailey, oh, my God, sounds really, really hot. See? I was a little bit younger, so I would probably do them. I love how Laura and I are the same age and we're both frothing over Bailey. Here it is, birthday banger New Zealand, Secret Sound next. ZM. ZM, Bree and Clay, they're the winner of birthday banger from Nelly,

Fatato and Timberland from that great, great era of Timbaland songs when he was working with Justin Timberlake and Nelly Fatato and Kerry Hilson. He's amazing. He is amazing. I love Timbaland. That was for Laura, but it was chosen by Bailey. Speaking of promiscuous, girl, watch out, Bailey.

You may be getting a text from Bree shortly. Why are you saying watch out? Because you've gone into the system and you've found his phone number. I did. Oh, my God. If you worked for a government agency and you did that,

you would be fired right now. You've gone into the system. You've found his number. Are you done? I did not do that. Is his phone number or is his phone number not on your laptop now?

That's because the producers sent it to me. They sent it to me. They only do what you ask them to do, mate. I did not ask. It's all right. Bailey sounds awesome. God damn it. Invite me around for dinner.

Bailey is probably throwing his phone out the window right now. Time for a new SIM card, I think. Let's talk about something fun. You know what's fun? Kissing. Let's talk about something fun. You know what's fun? Kissing. Let me kiss you. Yes. It's alright.

How good's a first kiss? Oh, you're never, let me just take down the mood again for a second. Yeah. Because you're married, you're never going to have a first kiss again. Yeah, but I've found the kiss that I want for the rest of my life.

Oh, cute. There you go. That's so cute. There you go. So good. Someone who hasn't is myself because I'm single. And recently I've been noticing when I go on YouTube, because that's what I do because I'm single, late at night, nothing fun, just YouTube. All the ads that have been playing before the videos I'm watching are these weird ads about how to kiss properly. What does that say about you? Because those ads are targeted.

Like, have I Googled something recently? Yeah, what sort of stuff are you looking at that they know that you're single and looking for kissing advice? Oh, mate, there's a few things I'm Googling. What's up with kissing advice? Like, what sort of advice are they offering? So it's really weird.

So I looked into it. It's this guy called Michael Fiore, and he runs this website called kissingmagic.com. I tried to find some of the ad about him speaking about it, but we couldn't find it. It's really strange. And then I've, like, looked more into it. He writes really weird books. Is he like a grown man?

Or is he like a teenager teaching other teenagers how to kiss? No, he's old. What? And some of the books that this guy's written are Make Him Beg To Be Your Boyfriend In Six Simple Steps. There's also What To Say If He Shows You His Hmm And Other Blunt Dating Advice For Women. Yeah, there's also what to say if he shows you his and other blunt dating advice for women. So it's all pretty much advice for females about how to kiss a man. Ladies, how to impress a man with your kiss. Can I say that you don't need to?

Like, we're very easy pleased. You're pretty much hooked already, right? Yeah, so long as like, actually, no, there are no rules. Can I ask you? Yeah. Do you think a first kiss tells you everything you need to know? No, I've never thought about it that deeply. Like, have you ever thought someone was so hot and then have kissed them and thought,

not for me? The first girl I ever kissed gave me strep throat. So. So I knew that one wasn't going very far. Where was your first kiss? Rotorua, at a party.

Yeah, it was. How old were you? 15? I was 15, no, I was 14. Oh yeah. It was on a softball diamond. I had no idea

what I was doing and I really wish I'd had some of this guy's kissing advice at the time. Well, you can find it on the internet, but this is how to kiss men, so it might help you out if that's what you're into. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We want to ask this afternoon on 0800DALZM this is kind of taking a turn, but are you dating someone that's a pretty average kisser? Oh. Like is your partner a bad kisser? Have you ever dated someone where you thought

they're not the best kisser? Yeah, I said before that you don't need to do anything to impress men. That's wrong. Like if the teeth are clashing. I think like I don't know what's worse. I don't know what's worse. Is it when it's too much like too much tongue? Yeah. Or when it's like nothing at all. I think

nothing at all. I think an over presence of liquids is yeah is bad like if you're having to wipe your face I kissed this guy once

and he would never use tongue it turned me right off really yeah like fair enough not even in the real heated moments of

that's what I mean like obviously it's cute like pecking every now and then and obviously there's circumstances. Not a full tongue pash goodbye on the way to work.

Yeah, exactly right. But it was never, ever. And I, to be honest, I think I dumped him because of it. Okay. Well, we can do this. You can call us on 0800 DALZM if you have a partner who's a bad cusser. We can keep you anonymous. Yes, or

maybe we can hear about a story where you used to date someone and that was the breaking point. Yeah, what made it so bad? What made it so bad? 0800 dial ZM or you can text us at 9696. ZDM's brilliant clan. Let me kiss you. And what makes a good kisser or a bad kisser?

Because it's so hard. Like, how do you know if you're a good kisser or not? No, you'd have no idea unless someone told you. And then how bad would you feel? I know. Have you ever been told that you're a bad kisser? No, but I've also never been told that I'm a good one. You've never been told?

No. Oh, okay. What, have you been told? Yeah, by a few people. I think you'd be... Oh, can I... Go on. All right.

I think this is going to be negative. No, not negative. Just... I think you'd be quite a dominant kisser. Like... What is that supposed to mean? You know how often there's someone doing the kiss... There's the kisser and the kissy?

I feel like you'd be like... So you're saying I'm the one that's always more into it? Just... Maybe a bit aggressive. Can I share something with you? Yeah, please. I sometimes kiss with my eyes open. You're a psychopath.

No, I'm not. I don't always. But then I also, one of my trademarks, I love a little bite of the lip sometimes. Who are you, Zorro? Trademark. I'm Italian. You've been kissed. I can. Trademark. I'm Italian. You've been kissed.

I can't help it. I'm passionate. Well, you're a trademark. And I also, I also. Imagine that you're kissing a girl this weekend and they bite your lip and you go, hey, you're using a Brianna Thomasel trademark. Copyright. We've asked you to call us this afternoon and tell us if you're dating someone who's

a bad kisser. We want to know. You can stay anonymous. Now, this person, do you want to be anonymous? No, I'm sweet as. All right, Jay. I'll get all the names wrong. It's out there now.

All right, Jay, what happened? All right, so I met this girl online. Oh, Jay. Yeah, yeah, we're listening. Sorry, I met this girl online on Tinder, and she seemed perfect. She has all the same interests as me. I found her physically attractive,

and it just seemed like soulmates almost. Perfect. So everything was perfect, and this is before you kissed her, right? And then we'd been talking for, like, two weeks or so, and then she came down to visit a friend in the town I lived in, which is Thames. And she didn't visit a friend, but she was going to say no to me.

But she came over, and, well, to put it simply, it was like kissing a fish. Now, you mean toothy or like... Oh, no, like... Was there a lot of tongue? Oh, yeah, that was the case as well. Right, okay. But it was...

Her mouth was just splattered. Oh, all right. Probably wouldn't be the word I'd use. Oh, so you mean like a dead fish? Like there was... Yeah, basically, yeah. Oh, okay. All right.

Jeez, Jay tells a very suspenseful story, doesn't he? Oh, I was hooked. Rachel, are you dating a bad kisser? Oh, I used to, so it was the breaking point. Yeah. What happened? Yeah, so what happened was is is that we went in for, like, a kiss, and then he kind of just sucked my bottom lip in, like,

so my bottom lip just would just get always stuck, and I was like, oh, I'm going to have another cut. He's a bottom sucker. Yeah. And he would just, like, suck it back in. Like, it was, like, his trademark, and I tried to, like, reteach him. Like, it was, like, his trademark. And I tried to, like, re-teach him how to kiss, possibly, like, giving him a bit of pointers.

And what did he say? He just didn't take it. He just kept sucking my lip into his teeth, and my lip would always come out quite swollen. That sounds... Oh, my God. I had to, like, break it off. That sounds very similar to Bree's trademark.

No, no. Yeah, it does. No. It does. How is yours different? It's not a gentle nibble. Like, I can understand Bree's. It's trademark. No, no. Yeah, it does. It does. How is yours different? It's not a gentle nibble. Like, I can understand Bree's. It's like a gentle, gentle, gentle nibble.

Thank you, Rachel. You actually broke up with him because of it. But yeah, I just couldn't do it. Rachel, though, one good thing, one good thing, if you're someone who needs lip fillers, if you're dating him, you don't anymore. He's like a mobile Kylie Jenner lip kit. Exactly.

We're going to take one more. Shannon, your boyfriend is a horrible kisser. Is that right? Yeah, he just does not like to kiss at all, ever. What? What do you mean?

When was the last time you kissed your boyfriend? You know, when you make him look in love. We like kiss, but he's just never really into it. I don't know about that. Isn't that weird?

What do you do if you're not? All right. What makes you think that? Yeah. He just won't like be into it. Just doesn't really kiss back. You're like, kiss her the whole time. Hey, Shannon, try my trademark bite of the lit.

It might get him over the line. Give him a little nibble, see how you go. All right. Well, if you are a bad kisser, people are more willing to tell a radio station than they are you, so I guess you'll never find out. Hey, Clint. Yeah?

Look me in the eye. I'm not going to kiss you. I'm not going to kiss you. No. I was going to say, look me in the eye and tell me you're not going to go home and try and use my trademark. That's a yes. He's doing it.

Zinian's brain clad. Look at the time. It's Wednesday. It's about nearly six o'clock. We've got to talk about some hashtag girl problems. Oh, yeah, good. We do this every Wednesday where I pretty much just have a whinge about some of the stuff we go through as ladies.

Yes. You know what one thing I haven't talked about in this segment? Yeah. That is if you're a girl or a woman, peeing in the wilderness, not so easy. Peeing in the wilderness. Whereas I think for men, not a hard task. I thought it was easy but not if you couldn't hide yourself. No. Like I thought as long as you could not if you couldn't hide yourself. No.

Like I thought as long as you could whip the pants down, then from there the process is easy, but it's just you don't want to be seen because your pants are fully removed. No. Oh, really? It's never easy. Like if you're... I also heard another one the other day that you guys can do it standing up,

but you choose not to. Well, I mean, do you want me to test that i've never tried you should use the men's urinal should i should i just can you imagine if someone walks in it's just me trying to wee into the urinal yeah you can you say that urinal there you go there we go i've never used one so true maybe don't maybe don't use the work one then. No, it is very difficult as a female if you don't have like a toilet to use to do a wee. It's really difficult. Something to practice in your spare time. Don't do it on concrete.

Splashback. Not good. Anyway, let's play because we've got some of the guys from around the office to record some of these. Yeah. And here it is. Hashtag girl problems. Today I cried in countdown

when I heard One Direction Perfect come over the speakers. Damn you hormones. Damn you. Hashtag girl problems. Wax this. Wax that. Wax, wax, wax. Why couldn't females just be born bald everywhere?

Would be much easier. Hashtag girl problems. When your day is long. I have a small yet powerful celebration every time I realise I'm not wearing eye make-up and can rub my eyes freely. Hashtag freedom. Hashtag girl problems. Everybody hurts sometimes.

You know I've never considered that eye makeup one before? Oh my God. It is so good. Are you wearing eye makeup right now? Yes. So you can't rub your eyes? I cannot rub my eyes. Because the makeup will go on your eye or because it'll ruin your makeup?

It'll both. It's a disaster zone. We don't know how lucky we are, fellas. We really, really don't. Count your blessings. Zinni is brilliant, Clint. You know when I knew that I'd found my soulmate in Lucy? When?

When I realised that me and her had the exact same Sunday order from McDonald's. We both had the same... Large Big Mac and chips? No, not Sunday the day. Oh, not what you order on a Sunday. No, no, Sunday the ice cream. Oh, right. S-U-N-D-A-E.

I love how your brain was like, I hope I know how to spell this. Yeah. Right, yeah. I went into it blind and I think we came out okay. What have we got? We've got chocolate fudge. Yeah.

Caramel. Yeah. Strawberry. Yeah. Is that it?? We've got chocolate fudge. Yeah. Caramel. Yeah. Strawberry. Yeah. Is that it? No. Is there more? No.

From there, you can do whatever you want with it. What do you order? When you go through the drive-thru at Macca's, what do you order? I order the classic regular chocolate fudge sundae with double fudge. Oh, okay. That's good. You are customising in some way. 100%.

At least you're doubling the fudge. Doubling. We are caramel sundae with extra caramel sauce. That's full on. So double the caramel sauce. Yeah, that's sweet. Over the last few days, I've been conducting a scientific poll via my Instagram account.

Is that why you've been wearing that lab coat? Yes, that's the reason. Right, because I was wondering why. You said you'd become a gynecologist. No, I didn't say that. That is not something I would say at all. You said you went to Polytech and you took a course. Why would I masquerade as a gynecologist. No, I didn't say that. That is not something I would say at all. You said you went to Polytech and you took a course. Why would I masquerade as a gynecologist?

Why on earth would I pretend to be a gynecologist? Jesus Christ, you make me look like a bad person sometimes. No. That's what you tell your wife, Lucy. The poll was, what do you have when you order a sundae from McDonald's? Okay. Straightforward, but I think it says a lot about you as a person. I think I'm about to learn a few things.

You're welcome to still contribute to the poll. It's still up on my Instagram at the moment, but I wanted to bring you a few of the results just for us to mull over. I'm interested. Because there's some interesting ones in there. Now, here we go. This is the first one that's come through.

50-50 soft serve and chocolate sauce. Soft serve and chocolate, okay. So half the cup is chocolate sauce. The other half is. Okay. So half the cup is chocolate sauce. The other half is soft serve. So half fudge, half soft serve. Extravagant, but I like it. Whoa. Large sundae with caramel sauce on the bottom and then chocolate sauce on the top.

Don't hate it. I like that. Don't hate it because you get the best of both worlds. I did some investigating though. You have to order the large one to get that, to get two different flavours, top and bottom, apparently. No, that's not true. It's not true? No, because if you get the extra fudge, they put it in the top and bottom.

Okay. Oreo with caramel sauce. Ooh. So you're mixing the McFlurry. So you're taking elements from the McFlurry. And putting it into a sundae. And then putting them into the sundae. Or are you taking elements of the sundae and putting them into a McFlurry?

I've always thought they needed the nut option. They used to. Yeah. You used to be able to get crushed nut. I just like to be able to have nuts with anything. I just like to have the option. If I'm feeling a bit nutty.

Love nuts on a sundae. I do love nuts. This one was good. This is not a flavour option, they said. I totally forgot that they were called Sundays. We've been calling them Choccy Boys for far too long. Who calls it that? Them and their partner. Chocolate sauce with a side of small fries to dip into it.

Yes. I am all about the salty and the sweet. Don't hate it. Producer Ben's screwing his nose up. He hates the... Some people do Some people can't get their head around it No I love salty sweet

Try it It's got to be a quick dip though Because you don't want the chip to go soggy Salty sweet and then throw some nuts in the mix This is where it starts Damn This is where it starts to get interesting This is from the poll

Okay You can see the results on Instagram They're there I have not made these up I get no sauce What? That's a no on Instagram. I have not made these up. I get no sauce. What? That's a no.

You just get a cup of ice cream. I think I'd break up with someone. They weren't the only one. I like mine without any sauce. I prefer the taste of the ice cream. No. No, no. No, we're not doing that.

Who's doing that? No, we're not doing that. Get a soft serve. Again, plain. The sauce makes me thirsty. No, get a drink. Get a drink. Who's going to McDonald's and just getting a cup of the soft serve? What is wrong with you?

That's not even a sundae. That's not even a sundae. That's just a cup of ice cream. That's just a plastic cup of ice cream. You may as well have got the 50 cent cone. At that stage, you're taking the piss. You're wasting a cup. You're wasting everybody's time.

Are you okay? No, I think I've gone a bit far. You alright? We were talking about before going to the toilet as a female and how it can be difficult at times if you may be in public and because, I mean, we can't just go anywhere like. The term you used was in the wild, peeing in the wild. In the wild where there's no toilets.

It's also difficult for some females to actually go to a public toilet because there's always been, I believe, this theory that you can catch things from sitting on a public toilet seat. Have you heard that before? Yeah, I've heard people say it before. But also just the general grossness of some toilets. I really feel for you guys knowing that any business you do requires a sit down. Like for a man, you can go into the most disgusting bathroom. So long as you can, as long as you've got a powerful enough stream,

you can stand like three feet away. And not touch anything. And not touch anything. Well, touch one thing. Get a good arc going and just shoot it into the bowl from a distance. And that's it. Imagine having to pull my pants down

and put my beer skin on some of those things. It can be very confronting. And there's a survey that's been done of over 2,000 women, which has revealed that 76% of women actually squat at public toilets to avoid contracting disease. Now, when you say squat, what do you mean? Do you mean the hover where you go down to the seat in a seated position, but you engage the leg muscles? Yes.

Or do you mean the full stand on the bowl and squat right down? Who knows? Bit of both. Both, let me tell you, are very difficult. God, you'd want it to be a short movement if you were doing the hover. Just the burn in your thighs. The hover is very difficult, can I say?

And especially after leg day, it's impossible. You can't do it. Because I imagine you're down there and then fatigue sets in and you haven't finished your business, number one or number two, and the muscle gives out and then you go crashing into you haven't finished your business, number one or number two, and the muscle gives out and then you go crashing into the disgusting bowl.

And it makes it really gross. Well, do you want to hear some actual facts? If you're one of these people that hover or squat, guess what? What? It's all for nothing because it's a load of BS. The theory of you can contract a disease from a toilet seat is a myth. It's not true. It's not true.

So apparently you're more likely to be struck by lightning than catch a sexually transmitted infection from a public toilet. From a seat, sorry, from sitting down. I know it's in science, but still. That's science, mate. That's what they're saying. Imagine you're perfectly monogamous in your relationship. Yep.

And you happen to be that one lightning strike person who gets the herp from a toilet seat. Oh, you had to go there. No, but you're saying it doesn't happen. So you're saying the science says it can't happen. No, and so apparently a toilet seat is said to be one of the cleanest things you'll come across in terms of microorganisms. So your cutting board at home is dirtier than a toilet seat.

I don't know if they're meaning a public toilet seat when they say that though. Yeah. Are they talking about like a toilet seat at Spark Arena in the middle of like a concert? Yeah. Probably not. Especially if people are doing the hover.

But here's the thing that really got me. It's actually worse for you and you could actually catch something by hovering rather than sitting down. How? So a UTI, which is something that a girl can catch, is something you can actually get by hovering. How? Because, so. How on earth?

So apparently in that motion, I'm just reading this from this article. I mean, it's coming from a doctor. This is written by a doctor, so I'm assuming it's true. So apparently if you're in a rush and you're hovering and you're in that kind of whatever and not all the wee comes out, that's what can give you the infection. Oh, holding on to a bat. Yeah.

Oh, so if you're just, oh, I see. Because you're not fully relaxed. So you're not relaxed and you're not really letting it all go. Exactly. So it's actually causing you more harm to not sit on the toilet seat. Every day I learn something new about girls and I just go, man, you guys have it rough sometimes. Like you really, really don't.

Mate, it's a minefield in there. Ziddy's Brain Club. We talk a little bit on this show about dream jobs that come up. I remember you said recently you wanted to be the Ferrero Rocher taste tester. That is the perfect job for me. You get to move to Italy and you get to eat chocolate. Pretty good. So good.

We did last week Instagram stalker. Someone who gets paid to stalk people on Instagram. Yeah, and figure out, you know, if they're the real deal. A guy's turned that into a business. I got another one and it might be better than both of them. Really? So this job pays. Is it looking after miniature ponies? No, it's be better than both of them. Really? So this job pays. Is it looking after miniature ponies?

No, it's not looking after miniature ponies. The job pays $179,000 New Zealand dollars. Whoa. You get travel, meals on top of your income. Is it all you can eat? The job is go to luxury resorts in Mexico and do Instagram photos. Oh. What kind of photos? So there's a resort company in Mexico called Vidanta.

Are they naked photos? Because I'm out. No. They just want classic. I probably would actually still be in. Well, yeah. They just want classic Instagram photos. They want someone who is good at this to be their brand ambassador.

This is what they're looking for. The lucky applicant will immerse themselves in each of our resort destinations from uncovering ancient Mayan ruins, hidden eateries, and underwater cenotes to discovering the hottest new restaurants and nightclubs while attending the biggest shows and entertainment offerings in the area. Applicants are expected to be pretty handy with social media and be good communicators. They also must have charismatic, sunny vibes.

That's it. You just have to be good at Instagram and they'll pay you nearly 200 grand to travel around Mexico staying in resorts. And you do it for the whole year. How are people, how is this even a thing? How many people are applying? Well, it's open to the whole world.

The applications are open to the whole world. But you can apply for it. You're welcome to apply for it. They did one of these things a while ago and it was open to the whole of New Zealand to apply for a very similar job where you were a travel reviewer. Okay.

So it was your job to... You remember the show United Travel Getaway? Yes. So the New Zealand version of that. It was your job to go to resorts. What a great job. Review them. Do you know who got that job?

Who? The Prime Minister's husband, Clark Gayford. Was that him? Yes, that was him. But that just shows you that you can get these things. If you want to do it, it's realistic. I love that you've used Clark as an example of if he's good enough, we're all good enough.

Oh, no, I didn't mean it as an insult, but at the same time, yeah. Well, he's just a normal person, right? If Clark can do it, you can do it. Yeah. Like, I'm in, mate. I will do that job. But, I mean, I barely got this job. normal person can do it you can do it yeah like i'm inmate i will do that job but i mean i barely got this job i've barely gotten every job that i've ever had well if you're going to apply

don't hand in your resignation from your current job first maybe that's the trick so it's not a sure thing that i apply and i'm like ross i out. If you want to apply for it, check this into Google. Check in V-I-D-A-N-T-A Resorts Ambassador. One more time. V-I-D-A-N-T-A Resorts Ambassador. That will take you through to a link where you can submit your application. And basically, I think they just want to see your Instagram and show that you can do those cool photos and put a nice filter on and use the right hashtags.

Easy, right? 200 grand. Boom. I'm going to go call Ross. Zedium's brilliant, Clint. Think about right now how much you love the All Blacks. Yep. I mean, they're such an iconic team here in New Zealand.

Yeah, but I'm trying to play it cool. What would it take for you to root for another team? Oh, another rugby team? Yes. I wouldn't do it. Maybe not. No, look at this. Even if the other team

was almost guaranteed to beat the All Blacks, which wouldn't happen, I wouldn't bet on them. Okay, let's take it down to a smaller scale. You root for the Chiefs? Yes. In rugby. Can you stop saying root? Well, that's what it's called. Fine. You go for... Oh, sorry. You go for, oh,

sorry, you go for the Chiefs. What would it take to get you to go for another team? Like, how much money? Like, is there a price? Nah, because people, the minute you do as well, people go, oh, traitor. That's where I feel sorry for Blues fans

because they have this team which just sucks so much and has sucked so much for so long. That's why I feel sorry for Blues fans because they have this team which just sucks so much and has sucked so much for so long. That's why I go for the Hurricanes. I know. Hurricanes, Hurricanes. But Blues supporters can't change because then they'll go oh, bandwagon. Yeah, I know. Oh, bandwagon. And then what happens when your team gets good again?

You just, once you've, it's like when you have kids. You're stuck with them. Okay, well that's a little bit different. No, it's not. You can't change. Once you've picked your team, you can't change. There's a guy in America who was a New York Knicks fan, and he's changed.

Well, New York Knicks are not very good. The Knicks have been sucking up a storm for a bit. They haven't been going very well. They shouldn't. They play at Madison Square Gardens in the middle of New York City. He was really frustrated, and he's decided he's one of these like super fans that has every piece of clothing you can possibly think of. And he goes to every single game.

I know people who are like that with the Blues. Yeah. Yeah. What still? Yes. Really? Yeah. Good for them.

No, they did a Facebook post at the end of this. Commitment. And they said, this is it. This is the last year. And they've got all the stuff and they go to all the games and they said, if this happens again next year, I give up. I'll burn my jerseys. Was that this year they said that?

They said at the end of this season, yeah. I'd love to see next season. Anyway, this guy, he's fed up. He said, I'm over the Knicks. I'm going to eBay my fanhood and see how much I can get for it. Okay. So now people have betted on eBay for which team he should go for. So people are paying this guy to swap to their team that they want.

Oh. Yeah. Hang on. So he's auctioning his fan allegiance. Yes. And they're going to buy him as a fan. Yes. What's so good about him?

Why do you want him as a fan? He's one of these super fans. Okay, sure. He's full on. Anyway, the auction's over. You want to super fans. He's full on. Anyway, the auction's over. You want to know how much it's gone for? Yeah, how much? $3,450

Evan Perlmutter is his name, has gotten for his fanhood and he will now go for the LA Lakers. Oh, he's really done well there. He has to move his whole life. Oh, he has to move cities. He's moving across the country from New York to LA.

Why can't he just do it on TV? Why can't he be New York's number one Lakers fan? Because a part of the package was that he goes to every game. Not enough money. Not enough money to move your whole life. Could have been worse. Could have been North Carolina.