ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – August 31st 2018

Episode Date: September 2, 2018

Dad jokesCrocs updateBanning catsBirthday Banger!Kiwi conspiracyLGBT rugby teamChat-rouletteFined while drivingThai beggarsAvocado jobSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Zed-Ems! Let's go, go, go! Now let me see you dance! Zed-Ems, Brie and Clint. Good afternoon everybody, happy Friday! I love how producer Ellie literally walks in as the mics go on and she just starts talking. Yeah, and then she froze like a possum in the moonlight. Mate, not the best time, we're on the air.

No, come over, whatever you wanted to share with us, you can share with the people. Go on. What did you want to say? I had a question for what's coming up, but, you know, I probably should know that too. What was the question? Go on. What day is Father's Day?

Sunday? That wasn't my question, but I'll come back. Okay, cool. We'll see you soon, man. All right, mate. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Good time for us to chat is when we're not on the air. Yeah.

Producers should know that, but just checking. Not completely random, though, because next we are going to do some stuff for Father's Day. For fathers especially, actually. Father's Day? What day? Have you only just found that? No, I found it ages ago, but I love it. Does that video exist in Australia as well?

No. That's a New Zealand thing. Yeah. And it's amazing. Yes, Father's Day. If you have left it to the last minute and you haven't got Father's Day sorted, we might be able to help you next, but your dad will need to be near you. Okay?

Right. We'll explain everything next. Easy as that. Plus, this afternoon we're going to give someone a trip to Las Vegas to see Drax Project. That's huge. I've got one question for you. Yeah. What are you getting your dad for Father's Day? It's easy. Scratches and a lotto

ticket. And then you ask me? What are you getting your dad for Father's Day? Yeah, don't know. Are we going to have to do this all day? Just for the next break. Bree and Clint. Friday Jams. Here's Beyonce. ZM. Oh yeah. ZM's Bree and Clint. Friday Jams, here's Beyonce, ZM. Oh, yeah. I'm a single lady.

ZM's Bree and Clint. Oh, what day is Sunday? We're still doing it. Oh, I'll play along. Oh, I don't know, eh? You don't know what Sunday? No, if I was to say what day is Sunday, what would it be? Happy Father's Day.

She's a Kiwi legend, that lady. She is an absolute Kiwi icon Absolute hilarious And everybody who does Does Father's Day type gifts I'm talking Bunnings Warehouse I'm talking Mitre 10 Megas People who make undies She should get the gifts every Father's Day

Oh my god I've just come up with Actually I've just come up with the greatest idea ever For a marketing campaign What's that? For Father's Day As if you're not going to get her What's that? For Father's Day.

Yeah. As if you're not going to get her on board to promote your Father's Day sales. Sales, yeah. It'd be brilliant. Oh, is that the idea? Yeah. Oh, is that not good? Oh, no, it's all right.

Has it been done? No, it's good. I just thought it's... Did I miss something? No, it's good. It's fine. I just expected more. Oh, I didn't know.

It's on Sunday, by the way, Father's Day. You may have forgotten about it, but that's okay because we can still save the day. It's two Sunday by the way Father's Day You may have forgotten about it But that's okay Because we can still save the day It's two days away Even if you don't have any money at the moment We might be able to save Father's Day for you We're pretty excited

Right now To have the first annual Bree and Clint Dad joke off That's right You heard correct Do you want to hear one? Have you got one?

I've got one You're not a dad, though. I know, but it doesn't mean I can't do a dad joke. Okay, hit me with a dad joke. Hey, Clint. Yeah? Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? No.

It's great food, but no atmosphere. I've got one more. Do you want to hear it? Yeah, sure. Hey, Dad, I'll call you later. Don't call me later. Call me Dad. Rock solid.

You know what my dad's favourite joke is? Oh, give it to me. This is the joke he told at my wedding too. Oh, no. Why did the Mexican... Oh, no. Oh, no. Why did the Mexican push his wife off the cliff?

Why? Because he wanted tequila. This is what we have on the table today. We have a $200 mobile fuel voucher. This is big stakes this afternoon. This is going to a dad and a dad only. You just heard two dad jokes, three dad jokes from non-dads. No more, okay?

We need dads to call us on our $800 idiom right now. It's a dad joke off this afternoon, and the winner will take it all, the $200 mobile fuel voucher. If you have a dad joke in your dad arsenal, now is the time to unleash it, all right? I feel like we need some music behind it when we come back. Yeah? To set the mood.

Some what? Some Benny Hill music. We can do that. We can do that? By the power of radio, we have that. I'm excited. We will commence the dad joke off after this, but if you're a dad with a joke, now's the time to call 0800-DIAL-ZM.

ZM's Brain Clamp. Welcome to New Zealand's first ever Dad Joke Off. It's big stakes here this afternoon. It's Father's Day on Sunday and the winner this afternoon will take home a $200 mobile fuel voucher. We have a full phone board

of dads. Each of them chomping at the bit to release their comedy gold. I feel like we can easily judge this based on how big the laugh is. From who, me and you? Yeah. Oh, yeah? Yep.

Yep. Yep. Well, you just put pressure on me to laugh now. Well, that's the point. You don't have to laugh. All right, okay. Sam, you're up first. Are you nervous?

No. No? And you're definitely a dad? Yeah. All right. Are you nervous? No. No? And you're definitely a dad? Yeah. All right. How many kids? Three. Oh, you're seasoned.

Seasoned dad. When you're ready, hit us with your dad joke. What do you call a dog with no legs? What, Sam? Anything you like. He's not coming. All right, Sam. Nice work.

Well done. Not bad. He's kicked it off. Welcome to the Dad Joke Off. Mike. Hello, Mike. How's it going?

Very good. Hit us with your Dad Joke, Mike. Hang on. Let's get your criteria too. How many kids? Three daughters

who enjoy making them cringe. Do they like your jokes? Oh, they roll their eyes and grit their teeth, but I kind of think they do.

Okay, when you're ready, hit us with your best one. Okay. Why did the hedgehog cross the road? Why? To visit his flatmate. See, that one is from the dad joke annals of history. That is a... I haven't heard that.

You've never heard that one? Never heard it. Okay, thank you, Mike I haven't heard that. You've never heard that one? Never heard it. Okay, thank you, Mike. Didn't mind it. Murray? Yeah. Hello, Muzzy. How many kids, Murray?

Two. Two. You expecting many presents for Father's Day? I hope so. Let's see if we can get you your own present right now, a $200 mobile fuel voucher. Give us your best dad joke. Knock, knock.

Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who Daisy me rolling I got him I like that one I like the commitment I like how much

He would do on that I like that it's modern I'm so sick Steve Hey Hey dog Tough act to follow With Murray Yeah Come on big Steve I believe in you Thanks Thanks Brie Appreciate it Steve. Hey, how you doing? Oh, tough act to follow with Murray.

Yeah. Come on, big Steve. I believe in you. Thanks. Thanks, Brie. Appreciate it. When you're ready, Steve. All right.

Well, this is one I was just telling my daughter, Alex, who's with me at the moment, about how I went to the zoo the other day. Oh, yeah? There was only one dog there. It was a real shitsy. I like it. I see what he's done. I like it I see what he's done I like it

There are two dads left Jamie, hi Hello Jamie You alright? Oh, you sound like a young dad Oh, no, not really Yeah? How old are you, Jamie?

34 Oh, you're a relatively young dad Yeah, how old Yeah, okay Yeah, two kids When you're ready Lay your best dad joke on us What did one leg say to the other?

What? I don't know about you, but I reckon the guy in the middle was a bit of a dick. Let's go to the last one. Hello, Travis. G'day, how's it going? Good. When you're ready, hit us with your dad joke. Okay.

Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Travis. Thanks, Travis. Okay, $200. Who's getting it? It's got to be Murray.

It's got to be Murray. It's got to be. Murray, congratulations. You have a $200 mobile fuel voucher for your knock-knock daisy joke. Oh, that's awesome. So, Murray, they're really going to see you rolling. They hate us. Awesome, guys.

Do you have, like, one more go-to joke that you keep up your sleeve just in case you're really on a roll? I had a few, but memory's not as good as what it used to be. All right, let's go out on a high, shall we? We're going out good. Hey, happy Father's Day, Murray, and congratulations. Oh, thanks, guys. Hey, Murray, if I was to say what day's on Sunday, what would you say?

What date on Sunday? He knows. He's got it. Yes, I was just checking if he was worthy, and he is. Yesterday, I brought to the table some fashion news. Fashion! Of course, it is New Zealand Fashion Week at the moment and I attended a show where I

saw the cutting edge of fashion. What's coming? What's next? What's about to take the world by storm? Stop trying to build it up. They're ugly. Don't say that now because history will judge you poorly. I have told you that

Crocs are in. Crocs are the next hot shoe item. Every single model in the show that I saw in the catwalk was wearing Crocs. That doesn't make them fashionable. Where does fashion come from? Mate, I saw... Where does fashion come from? I don't know.

Fashion houses. Where do fashion houses exhibit? Fashion week. Where was I? Fashion week. What were they wearing? Fashion. Fashion can come from a bin.

You want to wear stuff from a bin, that's fine. I bought this shoe, you're still sceptical. Overnight, we have run a poll on our Instagram. Sceptical is an understatement. As to whether Brianna Tomasell should spend all of next week wearing Crocs. I have things to do and important meetings to go to. I can't rock up in Crocs. Yes, you can because we want you to be well-dressed.

We want you to look good. So why would I wear Crocs? Well, look, the people are not going to lead you astray, okay? That's the other part of fashion. It's what's popular. So we're going with the popular vote here. It's whether or not people want to mess with me. I don't know.

I don't know. You know what? I do get the funny side of it. Yeah. I'm on board for the gag, but I actually really don't want to wear them. So overnight, via our Instagram account, we have had 1,300 votes as to whether you should spend Monday to Friday Don't people have better things to do?

next week dressed in Crocs. And I can now report back to you that the results are 74%. Yes! Shocker. Now, don't think I'm going to hang you out to dry here, okay? I knew it was going to come in this way. Of course it was.

I knew we were going to find out that you were going to wear Crocs next week. And this is for everything. Do I have to wear them the whole week? This is for dates. This is for anything you're doing. But don't think you're going to be stuck because I know outfits are important to you. I know variety is something that you

prioritise. Oh my god. So I have organised from the good people at Crocs. They messaged me last night. Yeah. Crocs New Zealand. Yeah. And they were like, you'll love them by the end. And I messaged back and I said, no, I won't. You will because I've organised for you a pair

a day. Next week you will have a unique pair of Crocs to wear for your outfit. I, this weekend, am picking up five pairs of size 10 Crocs and next week you will be the hottest ticket in town. I have no words.

Please, can I just ask one thing? Yeah. Can you please not get the ones with the camouflage on them? No, they were really popular. They were really, because we put a poll up as to which ones to get too. Of course they're popular because they don't have to wear them. You love camouflage. You have a camouflage jacket.

Yes, different from camouflage crocs. No, it's tying each other together. Actually, fine. I'll wear the camouflage crocs. That's fine. Can you just not get me the ones with the flames on them? The good thing about camouflage crocs

is you could argue that they're invisible. I hope I'm invisible next week. If you have any styling tips for Brie, feel free to send them through to us now on our Instagram. It's like polishing a turd. Nothing's going to work. Shut up. ZD is Brie and Clint.

Clint, what do you think a world would be like without cats? You're asking a cat owner here. It'd be a sad world. It would be a sad world, yeah. I'd be sad. Yeah, a lot of very lonely single ladies. Yeah, that have no cats. That have no cats.

They bring a lot of love into the world. They really do. They really do. There's a Southland region that's about to find out what that's like. How? Yeah, so there's a tiny township, Omani. It's called just near Invercargill. Omaui?

Omaui? Yeah. Yeah, O'Malwy. So there's this thing that's come out recently where they want to get rid of all of the cats in the township. Why? Because so apparently the area is there's a lot of native bush areas and environmental places around that area where they're saying that the house cats are a threat to birds, lizards, bugs and plants.

And they're now bringing in this rule where if you have a cat, you have to get it desexed. And if a cat dies, you're not allowed to replace it. Right. So eventually they want to get rid of all the cats in that area. That's sad. It is sad, but I kind of get it from an environmental perspective. I have two cats, and

they are lovely. Oh, that's right. I saw on your Instagram one time one of your cats killed a bird. Not just one bird. They keep killing birds. We've had to cover the cats in bells to try and protect the birds. Oh, really? Yeah. Because they're natural-born predators. That's what they are. That's what they do.

Here's the thing, though. Small township in Southland of Omae. By bringing this in, you're starting, but cats can live for 18, 20, even 25 years. So it'd be a long time before the cats are phased out. Plus two things... Wait a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're saying to me a cat can live to 25? Yeah. Some cat... Whoa! Yeah. Not, whoa, whoa. What? You're saying to me a cat can live to 25. Yeah, some cat. Like, yeah. Whoa. Yeah, not often. Not often. And I don't think the 25-year-old cat is out there catching many native birds.

Can you imagine a 25-year-old cat? Kill me. Please. Just give me the damn cat food. Can't be bothered to catch a bird. Two things are going to happen here, though. One, people are going to stockpile their cats. So the cat people of Omawi are going to go out now.

Buy 10 cats. Oh, it's going to be like a cat fire sale this weekend. It's going to be. And also, anywhere who's selling cats, they've now got to clear their stock. So they're going to heavily discount them. Buy one, get one free cat this weekend. Can you imagine all the single ladies will just become automatic crazy cat ladies?

Yeah. They'll load up early. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The other thing that's going to happen is you're going to create a cat black market. So there are going to be people, much like local drug dealers, who are cat dealers. There's going to be people in the region who are going to, you'll be standing on a corner and they'll go, psst, psst, you want to eat pussy?

You want to buy us some cats? Yes. I've got Persian. Yes. I've got, what's another type of cat? British blue. I've got British blue. I've got tabbies.

I've got tabbies. I've got, I've got Bermans. I've got kittens. You name them, I've got them. And then you're going to have people hide, and then there's going to be midnight police raids on these houses. Boom, knocking down the door. Where's the cats?

Where do we know you've got them? We can see fur all over your furniture. Your workmate said you went to work wearing black pants the other day and you had white hair all over you. We know you've got them, mate. Where are you keeping them? Drop the cats. Put your hands up and drop the cats.

It's not worth it. It's not worth it. It's not worth it. Good luck. Good luck with that one. You want to play birthday banger with us? You can. That story literally took a turn for the worse. Well then that's the reality of it. Anytime you make something illegal, you

drive it underground. People just want it more. In the black market. That's it. We need a good one for a Friday. We do need a good one for a Friday. We need something to take us into the weekend.

We need something to really lift the spirits. Like I'm thinking Whitney Houston. Ooh. Would be good. Maybe some Celine. Maybe a bit of ABBA.

No, no, too far. Really? You went too far. No, you say too far. No, you went too far. If ABBA came up, are you telling me you wouldn't choose ABBA? What ABBA song would we actually play? Dancing Queen?

Oh, yeah, would I be? Yeah, I might be on board. Yeah, I'd be on board. Waterloo, I draw the line. First person giving it a go, and maybe their birthday banger is ABBA. Sam, good up. Hello, Sam. Hey, team.

How are we? Good. How are you? Yeah, good. That's good. I'm probably too young for ABBA. Yeah, I was going to say, I can tell from your voice you're not going to be an ABBA one. We can rig it, Sam.

What's your birthday? The 22nd of December, 94. Okay, Sam, you were 16 in 2010. Yeah, probably a bit too young for ABBA on the 22nd of December, and this is your birthday banger. Oh. Oh. Oh, wait for it. I was trying to do a really bad ABBA joke, but it failed.

Bruno Mars grenades. Oh, yeah? It's not bad. Hey, that's all right. Yeah, it's no ABBA, though, is it? It's no ABBA. No, it's not an ABBA thing. Is it a bit depressing for a Friday?

Oh, I don't know. Yeah. See, you're such an upbeat guy, too. I wish we could have given you... I like that he's fighting for his song, though. I like that. Yeah, good. Okay, up next for Birthday Banger, welcome to the show, Jacinta.

Hello, mate. Hey, how's it going? Good, how are you? Not bad, you guys? Yeah, pretty good. Big weekend ahead. Oh, yeah, going to see Punk in Dunedin. Oh, how good.

What's your birth... Not looking forward to traffic. Oh, I can imagine. All right, what's your birthday? 17th of May, 1990. Okay, Jacinda, you were 16 in 2006 on the 17th of May, and back on that day, this was top of the charts. You get Busta Rhymes and touch

it. Yeah. Is this a bit of you? Not really. It's a bit of hardcore rap, isn't it? Yeah. And I'm not 100% sure we've got the censored version loaded in the system either. Oh, well, let's not play any more of it then. Okay, finally, Tyler. Hey, Tyler.

Hello, mate. Hi. What's your birthday, Tyler? 27th of February, 1997. Okay, Tyler, you were 16 in 2013 on the 27th of Feb and top of the charts on that day was this. Con los terroristas. Oh, you get Bauer, the Harlem Shake. Oh, that's great. It's like 2013's In My Feelings.

Yeah. Oh, the producer's area is blowing up to this. How do you feel about it, Tyler? Oh, not quite sure. She's not on board. She's not on board. Okay, we'll just wait there. What do you want?

I really need to wait, so let's pick quick. Oh, okay. That's easy. I know she's not on board, but I think it'll get you. I think once you hear it playing. I think going into a Friday, going into a weekend. So, birthday banger today is... Harlem Shake.

Bree and Clint, ZM. ZM, Bree and Clint. That is the winner of Birthday Banger it's Bauer it's the Harlem Shake some of you will remember that ringing out over Gisborne

towards the end of last year at Rhythm and Vines Bauer played the last R&B I'm pretty sure did it? yeah, did it I'm going to experience

my first one are you going to R&B? I'm going you will not be disappointed you know who they should book for R&B? I'm going. You will not be disappointed. You know who they should book for R&B, though? Who? I'm telling you, if this ever comes up in Birthday Banger,

it'll be very hard not to play it. Yeah, but if Ross Boss is here, you know what will happen. We'll have to time to the chair. Which I'm okay with that. That's fine. Bree and Clint. Zee means Bree and Clint. Zedian's Bree and Clint. There is a magical video going around Facebook at the moment.

It's been a great week for New Zealand because a kiwi has been captured on video in the wild. It's on Stewart Island, and some trampers are just walking down a path. It's like a dock track. And then all of a sudden, you just see a kiwi come plodding along the path. And then he wanders off into the bush.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't kiwi birds really shy? Yes. And scared? Yes. And nocturnal. And nocturnal. Yep. It's fake.

I'm telling you, I don't even think this bird exists. Now, I didn't want to believe that, what you're saying, when I saw the video. I was just rejoicing in the fact that someone had finally seen one in the wild. Because they're so rare. Yeah. And you know why they're rare?

Because they're not real. I'm not ready to believe that. But the more I look at this video, which is going up to our Facebook page right now, actually. It's up on Bree and Clint on Facebook if you want to see it. The more you say that, the more I believe that this video could be

CGI. Like this could be a Weta Workshop production. It's very cute. It is very cute. And I've never seen one before. I was telling you before, when I went to Auckland Zoo oh, the kiwi bird was asleep. Is there a kiwi enclosure at Auckland Zoo? I don't know but I didn when I went to Auckland Zoo, oh, the Kiwi bird was asleep. Is there a Kiwi enclosure at Auckland Zoo?

I don't know, but I didn't see one at Auckland Zoo. Well, if there's not a Kiwi enclosure, then you weren't going to see one. Yeah, because... But I know what you're saying. It was under construction or there's always something wrong with the Kiwi enclosure, so it's never there. They do have a Kiwi enclosure at Rainbow Springs in Rotorua, where I'm from, and it's dark in there.

Every time I've gone in there, I've never seen a Kiwi. Like it's been dark and they go, oh, they're sleeping. Wait, so they've got the enclosure there. They've got the enclosure. But you've never seen it. No, I've never seen it. And so now your brain is starting to tick over about all the times that you've been told it's real

when really it's probably not. Is that what Australia believes? That our national bird is fake? That our Air Force is not only named after a bird that can't fly, but a bird that doesn't exist? That our National Rugby League team that can't win anything are named after an imaginary bird? Is that what you guys think of us?

It might go around in Aussie that it could be fake. If this video is real, and I do really encourage you to go and look at it, then it's magic. It's beautiful New Zealand, Aotearoa. Beautiful piece of footage. Kiwi magic. I can't believe they've actually caught it on film.

And that's exactly right. I can't believe it. Do you think when they were discussing, you know, what was going to be the national bird here in beautiful New Zealand, land of the long white cloud, and then they realised, wait a minute, we don't really have, maybe we should just make it up. I don't want to believe it, but there will be people out there with stories, theories, information.

It's like the Loch Ness. Yeah. Do you want to open the phone lines this afternoon? We realise how ridiculous this is. No, no, no, no, no, no. Because this is where people finally get to have their say. You know why the Kiwi bird doesn't fly? Why? Because then, if it was real, we'd see it flying around in the sky.

But guess what? When they made it up, they said it didn't fly, so then they wouldn't have to explain why you never see it flying around. Oh, 800. Let's just end this. Oh, 800 dials at him this afternoon. It's very simple. The Kiwi, real or fake Let's just see what we get

We have opened a can of worms this afternoon by suggesting that the national bird of New Zealand the Kiwi may not actually exist by suggesting that the national bird of New Zealand, the kiwi, may not actually exist. I've never seen one.

I want to believe it's real. There is a video going all over the country via Facebook from Stewart Island today. It's up on our Facebook. You can see it too. It's got over a million views. It's a kiwi trotting along a track in the bush in the middle of the day. Now, some conspiracy theorists have come forward and said that has to be fake. Kiwis are nocturnal.

Why would it be on the track during the daytime? Owen has commented and said, that's a Pokemon. Good point, Owen. So we want to know from you, New Zealand, what do you believe? Real? What is the truth? Or fake? Nikki. Hello. Hello. Hi, Owen. So we want to know from you, New Zealand, what do you believe? Real? What is the truth? Or fake? Nikki.

Hello. Hello. Hi, Nikki. Hi, how are you? Are we being hoodwinked? Is our national bird imaginary? Have we started Friday too early? Guys, a crack up.

You did. I'm sorry. They're totally real. I've seen heaps. You have to come to Christchurch. Where are they? What, there's Kiwis in Christchurch? They're in Willow Bank.

So there's like a wildlife park. And every time I've been there and I've lived here for 41 years I've probably been 41 times and they're everywhere. You know how you say before they've got the enclosure where they're always in the lake.

Every time there's at least four or five. Can I ask Nikki? They're not CGI. You've said you've seen them. Yeah, with my own eyes. But have you ever touched one? I shouldn't say so because it says don't touch them, but I did. Nikki!

Nikki, do you work for a government organisation, Nikki? I cannot say. Oh, now you've really put doubt in my mind. Lisa. Hi. The kiwi, our national bird, our pride and joy, real or fake? Totally fake. Absolutely fake.

Why? I have been a kiwi my whole life, and I've been to Auckland Zoo, seen that kiwi enclosure. It is not there. I went to Stewart Island. I paid a lot of money to go on a Kiwi tour. We walked up and down the bush, drenched wet, never saw a Kiwi. It was completely unreal

and they gave me all my money back because like, oh, sorry, it's not real. Lisa, they told you it wasn't real. Well, they were like, oh, this is not here tonight. I guess they're just not real. And you're like, mm-hmm, yeah. Lisa's blowing this conspiracy wide open. It's all over the place.

Okay, thank you for being brave, Lisa, and coming forward. Appreciate that. Jennifer. Thanks for telling your story. Hi. The Kiwi, real or fake? It's 100% real, and I've been down there, and my family has witnessed it.

I missed it. But the very next day, we sat there, and we could hear them during the it. I missed it. But the very next day we sat there and we could hear them during the day. Wait a minute. Jennifer, you're saying you've been told by people that it's real? No, no, no. I've seen it on their camera. My cousins took a video of it.

Could be fake. And Doc actually tell you where to sit and wait. So it's half an hour into your second day on the track. There's an old mining site with an old train and there's a breeding pair in there. And if you sit quietly... Jennifer, this all fits the story perfectly. I just need to know one thing.

Did you see a Kiwi with your own eyes? Not on that day, but I'm an outdoor ed teacher and I've seen multiple. Oh, this conspiracy is just getting more and more confusing If you want to see the video for yourself

and make your own mind up it's on the Bree and Clint Facebook page right now Okay Someone has also texted and said the Kiwi is fake the Tuatara is fake the Moa was fake

our national icon should be a possum Someone's also texted and said Australia is fake was fake. Our national icon should be a possum. Someone's also texted and said Australia's fake. Have you heard that? Yeah, I'd believe that. The whole country? Yeah, I'd believe it.

I've never been there. There's a really cool article in the newspaper today about an LGBT rugby team in Christchurch called the Christchurch Heroes and I thought it's such a cool story, why don't we get the manager of the team on the show today. Welcome to the show, Andrew.

Hi Andrew. Hey thanks guys, lovely to be here. Do I have that right? You're an LGBT rugby team? Yes we are. We're actually an inclusive team but I'd say the majority of our team identify as LGBT. Andrew, how did this all come about? How did the heroes start? So the heroes sort of came about as the brainchild of one guy who had been playing many, many

years because I sort of didn't feel like he could continue with rugby because of his sexuality. So that sort of started a movement last year, getting some registrations of interest and that sort of thing. And he's stepped down since then. And myself and my other co-manager, Rawa Karatai, have taken that vision on board and got behind it and kind of just run from there. So it's really just taken off.

I just think, Andrew, what an amazing message, starting a team like this, the LGB team. It sends a great message to young kids who might be struggling with their sexuality going through a time. They might love to play rugby and feel those feelings and not really being welcomed. And they see this team that's in Christchurch and is setting the tone for a lot of other rugby teams around the country. I just think what a great message to send to those young kids. I think so too, you know. I mean, there are a lot of people within our community who don't,

you know, who are LGBT and don't necessarily conform to the traditional stereotypes. You know, hot pants, glitter and Mardi Gras parade might not be the thing they want to do every Friday night. Wait, are you guys saying you guys aren't interested in that? Well, you know, we have some that are, absolutely. Because I heard there was a drag show at your end of season party. Yeah, there was.

Yes. A drag show. Who doesn't love a drag show? And we had some fabulous performers in the gay community here in Christchurch. You guys would be a unique thing, especially in the rugby community in Christchurch. You guys would be a unique thing, especially in the rugby community in Christchurch at the moment. What is the most common question you get from members, like people who don't really,

haven't engaged with the LGBT community before? I guess one of the questions that they ask is, you know, do you have to be gay to play in the team? That's probably the most common one. And absolutely you don't. We have, you know, probably two or three guys who are straight and they play with our team and they really, really love it. Andrew, probably the most important question to ask,

how are the boys going this season? Well, you know, like every team starting, a lot of these guys haven't played for many, many years. But the level of improvement through the season has been massive. And through the round, Robin, we're playing each team in that round twice. And those teams are coming back and saying after our second game, wow, you guys are really improving. Do you think, this is a tough question,

and I don't know if you'll be able to answer it, do you think New Zealand as a country is ready to see an openly gay All Black? I think they are. I mean, everyone knows these rumours of All Blacks who aren't out of the closet. But I definitely think, I mean, up until this season, people might have wondered if Christchurch was ready for an LGBT-inclusive rugby team. Yeah.

And we've proven quite cohesively that they are. Yeah. You know, Christchurch Rugby Football Club is the oldest football club in New Zealand. It's the second oldest football club in the world, and we've been embraced by them as well. Yeah. So I absolutely think that, yeah,

New Zealand is more than ready for an openly gay All Black. How good. Hey, we think what you're doing is awesome. And such a great example for the rest of the country. Good for you. The whole message behind it is fantastic. You're making huge strides for the country. You're blazing a trail.

So, Andrew, the manager of the Christchurch Heroes, Christchurch's first LGBT inclusive rugby team. Thanks for talking to us this afternoon. Thanks, Andrew. Thanks, guys. ZDM's brilliant class. So about this time last week, we were talking about that study that pretty much has said the phone call is dead. No one is picking up phone calls.

Unless you're 60. Unless you're 60 years old. And you still have a landline. You're my mum who still has a landline. Who just turned 60. It's literally. Oh my God. Oh, the study's real. Sorry for saying age out loud mum and dad.

Yeah, she's going to come after you. Love you. So essentially we came up with this game called Chat Roulette where we wanted to test this theory where I take a hold of your phone and then you get a hold of my phone and we call someone at complete random to see if they will pick up the phone.

All right, mate. Let's go. Your phone first. You have my phone. Are you nervous? Always. I'm scrolling. I'm scrolling.

I'm scrolling. Stop. Do you know someone by the name of Karen Hunt? Yeah. Who is it? Let's find out. Just a friend from Rotorua. Let's find out.

Let's have a chat to Karen. Sorry, but the person you're asking is not available at the moment. Please leave a message after the tone. There you go. That's so annoying. Get out of jail free card. Now let's go to your phone. I've just landed in the S zone on your phone, okay?

I have your phone here. I'm just going through it. Now my mind is going through if I've got any Xs with the name S. Who is Sophie Tiller? Oh, that's one of my good mates. Real good mate of mine. Oh, then I'm not interested. Who is Mark Sayer?

That's my ex's dad. No way. This is the holy grail. How ex? We dated for four or five years. Oh. So you've been to Christmas? My first love.

Oh, yeah. Why do you still have his dad's number in there? I don't know. It's an old phone. If he doesn't answer, do you want to leave a message? No. Hello? Oh, my God.

G'day, is that Mark? Yeah. Mark, sorry to call you out of the blue. I'm calling from New Zealand. My name's Clint. Oh, my God. I do a radio show with Brie Thomasel. Oh, no.

Oh, what? Yeah. Look, your name has just come up in her phone book. And do you have good memories or bad memories of her? Great memories of Bree. Yeah? Any that you'd like to share? And bear in mind, this is on Nationwide Radio at the moment.

Any memories you'd like to share today? Yeah. Bree and my daughter went out to the casino one night. And my daughter woke up naked with $50 notes stuck to her whole body. Mark! No! Apparently they got drunk and won a lot of money

and thought it was a great idea to come out of the shower with notes stuck to themselves. Mark. What are you doing to me? Mark, you have set the radio waves on fire this afternoon with that story. Thoroughly appreciate you. Thanks for your time. No worries.

Thank you. Hooroo. Holy shit. Wow. Oh, my God. Sounds like you are quite familiar with the whole family. I don't have anything to say. I've got nothing.

Do you want... Oh, my God. Shit. Zinian's Brain Club. Did you hear about this ridiculous story that's coming out of Western Australia about a guy who's been fined doing something behind the wheel? No. Oh, my God.

I don't even know where to start with this story, but the WA police shared a ticket that they issued to a Perth driver on their Twitter account. And essentially on the ticket there's an area where it says, you know, a fence. Yeah. And all they've put in there was watching something whilst driving. No, not watching adult stuff.

Oh, no. So apparently they pulled over this driver and they were like, mate, we caught you on your phone. We saw you. We could see the light as you were driving, mate, we caught you on your phone. We saw you. We could see the light as you were driving. What were you doing? Yeah. And obviously they were expecting him to say texting

or checking my bank account or anything. Say anything. Say watching Dora the Explorer. Apparently this guy just literally said to them, oh, I was watching that. Oh. Just came out with it. Just told them the truth.

Now, forgive my lack of knowledge of the terrain of Australia, but is Perth like the outback where there's just long, straight roads forever and you could sort of put it on cruise control and watch a movie? No, Perth is a city. It's like Auckland. He's driving around, pretty much driving around Auckland doing that. Oh. Just getting, apparently they said to him, they're like,

mate, what are you doing? Yeah. Like, obviously it's dangerous. Like, what the hell are you doing, mate? And he goes, can you not tell my missus about this? Apparently his missus gets real angry at him and he's never allowed to watch it. In the house. In the house. Well, pull

over then, mate. Far out. Anyway, apparently he was issued. So hang on, he said, please don't tell my missus. So they tweeted the ticket. Yeah, without his name on it, obviously. Right. But the make of the car's on it and... Yeah, he's cooked.

It's gone absolutely viral. So she's probably seen it by now. They issued him a ticket worth $435 and three demerit points. And his dignity. That was included in the ticket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, I know that they say risk is an aphrodisiac, but I don't think they mean while you're driving. Be a normal person and eat a Big Mac while you're driving,

for God's sake. Have you ever heard the term big pecking? Be a normal person and eat a Big Mac while you're driving, for God's sake. Zeddy's brain clamp. Have you ever heard the term big packing? No. So this is a new thing and this is going to get something. What, this is an actual term? It's an actual term. Big packing.

Big packing. So like, that's not my bad Kiwi accent. It's like backpacking. Like you are backpacking, you're travelling, except you are begging people for money while you're travelling. Right. This is blowing up at the moment because there's a couple of tourists who haven't been identified yet, but they're like European-looking guys.

Your typical backpacker. Your typical backpacker sitting in a market in Thailand, oh, they're in Phuket actually, with signs out begging for money and like a coin tray there What does the sign say? The sign says help me fulfill my dream, I'm travelling Asia

for 15 months, sadly I'm out of my savings but I stay positive So they're not homeless people and they're not poor people They're people who are on a holiday who have decided that rather than fund that trip or maybe they've been irresponsible with their money or maybe they went over without enough money rather than just go home they're going to beg

people in thailand and it's like there's thai people in the market i was going to say phuket is not a wealthy area no put it that way no it's a third world country if you've ever been to phuket is not a wealthy area. No. Put it that way. No. It's a third world country. If you've ever been to Phuket, obviously that's where the tsunami hit. Yes, right. It's an area that's still rebuilding. Those two, this is what gets me rucked up about it because you could say they're crafty. You could say that.

Yeah, but be crafty and get a job at a bar or, you know, something. Yeah. They would be richer than 95% of the people in Phuket, probably. Just by pure sheer luck of being born in the country that they were born in. And then they sit there with their son. If they needed their medical bills paid

or something, you could maybe understand. If they got into trouble and they had to fork out heaps of money for a medical bill. Or they were trying to get home. Like if they'd run out of money and they were trying to get home. These guys literally are travelling for a year and a half. Just don't want to go home. And they just want some more money to keep going. That's a bit rough.

The Thai people in particular have got very pissed off. What, they're annoyed? Yeah, yeah. It's going viral. I mean, I don't keep up with many Thai newspapers, but they are going viral over there and people are pissed off so they're not begging anymore um because they've stopped they're kind of in hiding they're kind of like they probably wouldn't have made any money anyway because no one has much money there's money that's the weird

thing there's money in their box they probably put that in there to get them started yeah you know how buskers do legitimize it do they yeah that a technique? My friend used to busk a lot and she told me that she used to put like 20s and 10s in there. As a visual prompt as to how much to give. Exactly. And so when people would see it, they'd be more likely to throw in a note. Right. Yeah. That is so interesting.

Anyway, that's what big packing is. So if you hear that term, we're not recommending that you do it either. Just be aware. Just get a job at a farm like a normal backpacker. Just go with enough money to pay for your holiday. You know how in the last couple of weeks we've been talking about, you know, dream jobs? Yeah, we've had a whole lot of really great jobs

pop up recently. There was a few and I've got another one. Oh, yeah, okay. Do you love avocados? Yes. How much? So much that the fruit that I rage about If they're over $4 in the supermarket

Because I'm like, I love those And you know I'm going to buy them Even though they're $7.50 You know I'm still going to buy it I get weird when people call it a fruit Is it? It is a fruit I think it is But I just don't see it as a fruit

Or is it a vegetable? I don't know It's like a hybrid It's got a stone, it's a fruit Yeah, it's definitely a fruit I just get weird about it It's because it's. It's got a stone. It's a fruit. Yeah, it's definitely a fruit. I just get weird about it. It's because it's not sweet. Right.

That's the issue. That's probably it. It's because you wouldn't bite into a big delicious avocado the way that you would a peach. No, it's gross. So apparently there's this job that you can get if you love avocados where Californian researchers will pay you to eat them.

You're literally getting paid to eat avocados. Yeah. So they're doing this study across four universities where they want to test whether avocados help with abdominal fat loss. So you know how an avocado is full of fat? Yeah. They're very fatty. They reckon it actually fights to get rid of the fat stores in your abdomen.

Fight fat with fat. Yes. They reckon it's actually the best thing to fight fat. What a delicious way to lose weight. Isn't it crazy? So do you want to hear what you need to be if you want to be a candidate? Yes. So you need to be at least 25 years old.

You need to be willing to eat at least one avocado a day for six months. It's not bad. That's a lot of avocados. But one a day. Like I was thinking five a day for six months it's not bad that's a lot of avocados but one a day like i was thinking five a day like do they supply them that's the other bit because they're expensive they are expensive because if you if they find out that avocados are a great weight loss supplement it's probably cheaper to hire yourself a personal trainer who comes and gets you out of bed every day than buying an avocado to eat every single day. Isn't that ridiculous? Let's do the math.

So say, how much have you seen an avocado? At the moment, at the Fruit World by my house, they're $4. Okay, let's go with $4, which I've definitely seen them for more. Yeah. So $4 across six months. Yeah. So let's say there's 30 days. Just go 30.

Yeah. So four times 30 times six. Times six. Oh my God. $720 on avocados. And then they pay you on top of that. Yeah, so they pay you for it. Great job.

So they must be paying for the avocados, surely. Okay. Hey, if anyone wants us to be on that diet, just as a tester, feel free to send your avocados in. Countdown, New World. Our address is ZM in Auckland. Auckland. Across the road from the gym.

You'll find us.