ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – December 14th 2020

Episode Date: December 14, 2020

Sandwich eatingDJ Ben remixLatest with Dean McCarthyThe most important thing for your healthDid you get an inappropriate secret santa?Olympic celeb trying outCliff Hangers!Most watched NetflixWhen did you last hear from your ex?Birthday Banger!Public holidaysReasons why you should breakupRuining Lime scootersAmazing cat storySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello everybody, welcome to the podcast. I'm about to lose control and I think I like it. Bree's really excited because her projector may have finally arrived. I think this is it. A box has arrived, we don't know if it's the projector or not. Well it looks like a decent size, the box. I'm pretty sure this is the projector. Do you want to use my key to cut into it or something?

Yeah maybe, hold on, oh no wait I've got it. You're in? I've got it. Okay. This is big because there's a lot of pressure on this projector to be good. There's an entire business plan around this projector being good. Let's see. Oh, it's bigger than I thought it was going to be.

Yeah, it looks quite good. Okay, that's a good sign. We're actually videoing this for the podcast page. Yeah, if you want to go and see what it looks like. Oh, wait, is that the box or is that the actual projector? No, this is the box. Okay, keep going. Hold on.

It's wrapped in a lot of bubble wrap, though. Yeah. So I think it's giving the illusion. Okay, here we go. Bubble wrap. It's like a, oh, yeah. Okay, no, it could still be a good size. It looks not too bad.

Yeah. The LC450 video projector from Ape Man. From Ape Man. Let's have a look. Can you imagine this company we're like why did you pick us to do this well yeah well if it's not good then suck it man but if it is good this is great advertising for the hashtag not sponsored okay what have we got in here oh there's lots of cords and stuff so it's actually oh it actually getting small this is like a babushka oh no it's getting smaller

and oh my god it's so small it's tiny wait wait wait you can tell when electronics are good by how heavy they are can i hold it can i hold Oh, it doesn't weigh anything. But it could be portable. It could be portable. I've got faith. It's got one USB port, one HDMI port, one 19 volt power and one auxiliary audio output. Look at the cords and stuff that comes with

it though. Look at, feel how heavy this is. It's quite a lot of stuff. It's heavier than the projector. I know. But I mean, it's portable, man man You don't want it to be too Oh I thought it'd be bigger than that It is For those who are not going to get to see the video That's what I've said many times in my life

Would you agree that's the size of two Big Mac boxes? Yeah It is eh? Oh it's not big It's got a remote Power pack What else has it got? RCA cable and an HDMI cable.

So it's got everything you need to get it working. It's got a lot of cables. It does have everything. We should test it in the studio somehow. The proof's in the pudding, yeah. Do you need a white wall? Or do you put it on there? It will look worse than it is on that black one.

You need a white wall, hey? Yeah, you need to do it in your room with the lights off on the white wall of your bedroom. I'll do it tonight. Yeah. Okay, I'll do it tonight and I'll post the video of what it looks like under this video that you're watching right now.

Anastasia looks mortified. What's your initial review of the projector, Anastasia? You're the head of AV for the Bree and Clint show. What's your thoughts on it? When I read all those reviews about them. What were the reviews? How come I didn't see the reviews? Remember I read those reviews?

That's a completely different projector to the reviews I read. So this one still could be good then. One thing, one positive thing. Okay, I don't think it looks very techy. It looks more gimmicky That's not good It could be simple It could look simple I also think from here

Even though it looks small If you cut it in half and laid it out flat It would be around the same size As a standard flat projector You know what I just realised? No, it's on American Power Supply It's alright I think I might have a cord that fits this.

An adapter. No, but it's about voltage. So you now need to check the voltage before you plug it in or it could blow it up. Oh, I've never done that. Wait. What is it? Wait a minute. That plugs into that converter there.

Oh, right. I was going to say, this doesn't even plug into it, but this plugs into here. 19 volt work and NZ. Yeah, did you have a look how many volts it is? Laptops and battery chargers usually come with a bit of... Check the label to a DC. They can be plugged in right away to a New Zealand outlet with the right...

Oh, yeah, you'll be right. So, again? I've got an adapter at home. Everyone's got those travel adapters. I've got one. This is an American plug. Yeah, but you need the reverse. Yeah.

Like, not that you're travelling to America. You need that you're travelling to New Zealand. Oh, I bought a pack that had them all. Yeah. So, I've got one somewhere. So, I need an American... Fuck, I hope it doesn't blow up. You know what?

It actually doesn't look super cheap. No, it doesn't. Like, it actually looks fairly decent. I don't see why we're being so skeptical about it. It actually looks fairly decent. I thought that it was going to be smaller than that. I literally thought it was going to be the size of a... Smaller? I hope not. I literally thought it was going to be the size of a fat hard drive.

Yeah. Really? Yeah. You know what's cool about this, though, is that if it's half decent, you can take it with you to anywhere. Well, that's the idea of it, right? Yeah. I think it looks good, and I have faith.

I like that, Anastasia. Well, we can't judge a book by its cover. That's what Mum always taught me. And I'm not going to judge this projector by its size. Yeah, but, you know. Good things come in small packages. Not always. That does not apply to all.

It's not about the size. It's about how you use it. Not always. Not always. That does not apply to all. It's not about the size. It's about how you use it. Not always. Not always. Yeah. Tiny dicks are good too. The remote always tells you a lot about the product, I reckon. Yeah, it doesn't look great.

Why am I the only one who hasn't lost faith in it? It looks great. No, excuse me. You've only just gained faith. You rewind this. You were the most sceptical. No, that looks like an expensive product. You need to come and have a look at it up No, no, excuse me. You've only just gained faith. That looks like an expensive product. If you rewind this, you were the most sceptical. No, that looks like an expensive product right there. You need to come and have a look at it up close, though,

and then actually say your thoughts. What's stopping anything getting on the lens? Like, normally it has, like, a cover. Oh, look. Oh, it zooms and shit. It's for focusing it, I think. Oh, yeah, sweet. I'd make it bigger.

Probably, depending on how far away it is. Depending on how far away you are, yeah. Cool. All right. I like it. Well, stay tuned if I can find a plug that actually... Oh, look. It actually...

You can screw it onto a... Tripod. A tripod. Oh, that's cool. Oh, it's handy. That is handy. Oh, look. Look at this.

It's got a leather handle. It's a handbag. It's a handle. Yeah. That is cool. Oh, look. Some random person's taking a photo of us through the window. Hi.

Hi. Hi. I feel like a zoo animal Who was that? So much going on today Tag us Tag us Like and subscribe

Tag Okay That was really bizarre Watch this space Anyway watch this space And watch this video So do you think I test it Alright watch this video

Do you think I test this in my room first to see if it's even worth testing outside? Up to you. You could go to all the effort of setting up the beanbag cinema and everything first

and that be the first time we test it. Inviting everyone around. That's much funnier. Should we do that? Or we use it on the projector here for the first time. Bree, don't do that.

Why? You think it's going to fail. I have faith. Yeah, Anastasia. Yeah, Anastasia. Yeah, Anastasia. As the social media producer, I would like to see the content be produced for the page tonight in your room.

I know, but it would be very funny if you invited everyone around. Even in your room, it won't be a true representation of that. It won't be. We could host a movie party this Friday. Because in summer, too, we won't be able to start the movie until like 10.30 at night. No kids invited.

Anyway. Watch this space. It is cool. It looks cool. I think it looks cool. I was just thinking that yellow one for some reason, that one you always see around. This is the up one from that. Is this the first time we've done an unboxing live on the podcast? I think so, yeah.

I'm glad we filmed it or else it's very visual. This is essentially a vlog right now. Yeah. We're vloggers now. We're famous. Hashtag like and subscribe. Hashtag 8manNZ. Wait for the review.

Yeah. All right. Let's go, baby. Cool. Oh, no. It's not going to be good. Hey, no. It's not going to be good. Hey, Google. What's the time?

It's 3 p.m. Give or take a minute. Alexa, play ZM on iHeartRadio. Playing ZM on iHeartRadio. Hey, Sarah. I'm going to bring Clint on. Brie and Clint are on air in five, four, three, two, one. Hi, everybody, and welcome to the show.

G'day. We were just talking about our Christmas party that happened on Saturday here at ZM. Lovely Christmas party, can I say? One of the best Christmas parties we've had. Yeah. Shout out to Vaughn because he invited us all at his house for half of it. And shout out to all of the people who organised it because it was awesome.

Yeah. But you and I were just talking about how awkward Secret Santa can be. Yes. Because in our office, they literally make one person open it one by one. You all have to watch. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm horrible at opening gifts. There's so much pressure on your reaction too when you open your gift. Yeah. Because everyone's looking to see if you like it. Do you like it? Does she like it?

I don't think she likes it. Oh, I don't think she likes it. You know, in high school, I took acting classes just for those moments. We're actually going to talk about Secret Santa gifts today on the show because one member of our team got something. How do you want to describe it? Put it this way. It's illegal.

Yeah, I don't know if we should be talking about that. Nah, we can talk about it. It got 51% in the referendum. Oh no, it got 49%. That's why it's not legal, eh? Yeah. Well, we'll figure out if we can talk about it. That'll come up soon.

Also today on the show, we're going to pick another gift out of the Subway cookie Christmas tree. What did we give away last week? AirPods, GHD hair straighteners, GHD hair dryers. Yeah, we gave away a heap of cool stuff. And espresso machines. Yep,

there was a lot of cool things and a lot more good things to come as well. Yes, but next, you've got, is this a cute story? Oh,

this is a cute story. So no, wait, so this is the question. A woman has spoken out about how she has taken a bite out of her husband's sandwich that she makes

for his lunch every day for the last 15 years. Is this a metaphor? Why? Or is it a euphemism? No, it's...

Is sandwich code for something rude? No! It's an actual sandwich. Oh, right, okay, yeah. Why has she done that? Text us, 9696,

if you think you know why she has taken a bite out of her husband's lunch every day. It better not be for cheating reasons. Maybe. I know.

Maybe she does it because just to test if it was like, you know, tasting good. Yeah. We'll just see if he actually eats it.

Yeah. He just goes to the pub each day. That's a good way of checking, isn't it? He's like, great sandwich, honey. She goes, it's awful.

I ate some of it. Bree and Clint. I want to talk about this story about this woman. She's been with her husband for 41 years. Yeah. Which is a long time. Too long, some say. Yeah, some say.

Her name's Tracy and his name is Clifford. That's such a cute name. I love that name. Like the big red dog. Yeah. I think that's why I like it. I love Clifford, the's such a cute name. I love that name. Like the big red dog. Yeah, I think that's why I like it. I love Clifford the big red dog. Anyway, she put on Facebook that she's been married to Clifford

for almost 41 years and she has made his lunch every working day since day one. Jeez. That's a lot of lunches. She is owed some. Could you figure out how many that is? Yeah, I can. Okay, so 41 years.

So how many weeks holiday are we assuming he gets a year? We're going to say he gets four. Four weeks holiday. So 52 weeks minus four weeks of holiday is 48 weeks a year. Yep. And how many years? 41. 41, so...

You've got to buy on his weekends. Yeah, but 48 weeks. Okay, 48 weeks. Times 41 years. Yep. Is 1,968 weeks times five lunches a week. Yep. She's made him 9,840 lunches.

Hot damn. And she's had a bite of 9,840 sandwiches. Yeah, because she spoke about on Facebook how she always bites her husband's sandwich, which is a pretty weird thing, like pretty rude. And a lot of people were like, oh, that's pretty rude to be biting your husband's sandwich every day. Anyway, the story behind it, I think is the cutest thing I've heard in a while. You asked people to guess why? Yeah.

Can I tell you what my favourite guess is? Yeah. Someone said, to tell him that today is not the day she is poisoning him. That's good. I like that. No, it's not that. The rest of the people got it. Oh, they did.

They've probably seen the story. But for anyone else who hasn't, so apparently she said, on occasion I would join my husband Clifford on the job site and I would have lunch with him. He made the comment once that lunch tasted better when we share it with someone we love. Cute, Clifford. Anyway, soon after that, while fixing his sandwich one night, I took a bite out of it before putting it away.

When he got home, long before cell phones were around, he commented that someone took a bite out of his sandwich today. I told him that since I couldn't join him for lunch, I took a bite so he knew I was joining him from wherever. That's sweet. I continue to do this frequently unless it's tuna or pimento cheese because she doesn't like that. And now I get to enjoy lunch with my husband most days. That is lovely. to do this frequently unless it's tuna or pimento cheese because she doesn't like that.

And now I get to enjoy lunch with my husband most days. That is lovely and the sentiment is beautiful. But do you think that deep down Clifford wishes she would just make herself the same sandwich and he could just text her when he's having lunch and she could go and have her sandwich so that he didn't have to have a bite taken out of his sandwich every day? Yeah, he probably goes hungry every day. He's like, can you stop taking such big bites? You're getting hungrier, woman. I mean, thanks for the free sandwich, but...

Very cute story from 41 years of marriage. Still got it. Congratulations. Bree and Clint. Please welcome to the studio one of New Zealand's foremost... Do we call you a DJ? I don't know. Oh, you like producer, right? You like to be called producer.

Producer's fine oh yeah it's in your title producer Ben he's kind of like Josh 685 he's like the man behind the beat he's like Josh 685

if Josh 685 hadn't been discovered yet yeah and if he wasn't successful yet yeah I can't wait to be discovered and if he was a white guy

from Christchurch yeah so you're just like that who knows hey there's still time for you every now and then I can't wait to be discovered. And if he was a white guy from Christchurch. Yeah. Yeah. So you're just like that. Who knows? Hey, there's still time for you. Every now and then. A few miles left on your tires.

Super producer Ben McDowell, find a little Easter egg musical secret for us and you bring it to the show. And you've got another one for us. I've got another one, yeah. I saw this. I think it was on an Instagram reel a while ago and someone just said, Justin Bieber sounds a lot like the lead singer of Fall Out Boy.

Okay. His most recent, Justin Bieber's got a recent song, Lonely. Yes. With Benny Blanco going. We know it well. It's punishing our ear holes three times an hour at the moment. I thought he sounded like the Walmart yodeling kid. Remember the time I got you to do

the remix for that? Yep, that was also a good remix. Anyway, and I noticed I was like, oh yeah, cool. I do say so myself. And then I went and looked at the song Lonely and checked it out and I was like, okay, it's pretty slow. Like it runs at about 80, just below 80 BPM. And I was like, okay, let's find something that's way

higher for Fall Out Boy. So there's only one Fall Out Boy song that is double that. So a perfect match. And I think it's called Sugar We're Going Down. Really fast. Iconic Fall Out Boy track. Absolutely. Wouldn't say that Justin Bieber sounds like the lead singer.

Well, that's where producer Ben comes into his own. It's what I do on my bored Sundays, by the way. So before I play this, do you want to come out and make an accusation here that Justin Bieber has, what are we saying, he's ripped off

Fall Out Boy? No, I just wanted to make a comparison of how similar it is and how perfectly it fits. Let the people make those accusations

after you play it, right? I feel like you're already throwing fists that you've made this remix, so just own it, I'd I feel like you're already throwing fists that you've made this remix, so just own it, I'd say. Here we go. This is producer Ben

basically calling out Justin Bieber on Nationwide Radio. See if you think it's too similar. But it still feels strange Like looking in a mirror Trying to steady yourself And seeing somebody else And everybody saw me sick And it felt like no one gave it They criticized the things I did As an idiot kid Close to love

Make a name Love Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Make a name. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Raw team. We're going down. Whoa! I feel like I like that version better than the real slow Justin Bieber one. Yeah, if you haven't blown this thing wide open, Ben, you've definitely improved on helping out with your voice.

Yeah, he sounds really good on it, doesn't he? So what did you do? Did you double the speed of Justin Bieber? No, it just fits perfectly. Oh, you didn't change? It just fits, yeah. You didn't alter anything? You just laid them over the top of each other?

I altered a tiny bit, but nothing major. What he did was he speeded up the BPMs to put it into the double back playlist, and then he just doubled the track, layered it. Yeah. I have no idea what you're talking about. Well, thanks for finding out. Thanks for finding out.

I was like, where is she going? The whole time that you were talking, my brain was like... Just play your song. I was like, just play the remix. Bree and Clint from iHeartRadio. This is The Latest. Live from LA with Dean McCarthy. This story is absolutely everywhere today. Shia LaBeouf being called out by multiple exes. And with The Latest is Dean McCarthy.

Hi, Dean. G'day, Dean. Hi, guys. This is so wild. It's like a movie or something. So you may or may not be aware, but FKA Twigs, which is Shia LaBeouf's ex, is suing him, citing a relentless abusive relationship. Okay, so she's come out. He's been a kind of troubled guy. You've seen probably over the years, he's done a couple of things that have

landed him in some hot water. Well, today, Sia, the Australian writer, who, you know, she hides her face with a big wig. Sia has come out and she tweeted this. This has blown my mind. She wrote, I too have been hurt emotionally by Shaila, a pathological liar who conned me into an adulterous relationship claiming to be single. Now, if

you're thinking that's the most random connection ever, you may recall he actually featured in her Elastic Heart music video. I remember he was dancing around with Arsenal. Yes, in the cage. Yes. In the cage. So that's how they met.

And now Sia, who none of us ever knew this, by the way. This is not a rumour. Like, this is the first we've ever heard of this. But apparently he had some type of, as she put it, adulterous relationship with Sia. And I suspect perhaps more exes of his will come forward as well. Yeah, it's been a really big story in Hollywood today. Yeah, it's not just cheating stuff too.

The FKA twig stuff is really serious. She's talking physical abuse and intimidation type things with Shia LaBeouf as well. Yeah, it's really horrible. Yeah. Yeah, it's really horrible. This is a really random aside, but I follow this Instagram page called Shia Fits,

which just profiled Shia LaBeouf's outfits, because he's got quite cool style. And that page now is essentially null and void, because you can't continue to profile his cool clothes. And they've just posted one more image which says, we stand with FKA twigs. Well, that's awesome from that page. That's cool to see.

Right, heavy stuff. That's the latest live out of Los Angeles with Dean McCarthy. Cheers to Social Drinks Co. Low sugar, low carbs, some is seltzer in a can. Bree and Clint. Here's an interesting question. What do you think is more important for your mental health out of sleep, food

and exercise? Obviously we all know that all three of them and as a combination they are the key to long term mental health or looking after yourself at least. But what's the most important, do you think? Sleep. Sleep? Yeah.

Right. Researchers at the Department of Psychology at the University of Otago, actually, have analysed data from 1,111 young adults. I reckon that was a real, like, who's the person who picked 1111 as the number? Yeah, I don't know. Someone who's-

Lucky number. Someone who loves patterns. Anyway, they've analysed that many people in New Zealand and in the United States, okay? Everybody in the study was between 18 and 25, and they were asked a range of questions about their mental health, including the quality and quantity of sleep, how much physical activity they did, and what sort of food they consumed.

And when tested side by side, the most significantly outranking like thing within those three that contributed the most to people's mental health was sleep. I knew it. It's so important. Starts with sleep. You don't realize how important it is to get enough sleep and to get a certain type of sleep, like REM sleep.

Quality sleep. REM sleep, where you fall into that deep, actual, like, you know, reinvigorating sleep. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so glad it's not exercise, by the way. Or food. Or food, yeah.

I was like, please be sleep. Right. But again, all three are important. They are important. There was one little note on the study that said they're not able to interpret whether, because if you already, if you have mental, if you have like depression or something currently

and it's affecting your sleep patterns, if that's contributing to bad sleep and that bad sleep is contributing to your mental health issues as well. It's a bad cycle. It's a bad cycle, but they said it starts with sleep. So if you're not getting the sleep, then it's going to be very hard to maintain a good mental health. It's really

hard though because every human in my opinion is so different and every human needs different things in a different way. So you can't just put a stock standard. Everyone needs eight hours or seven hours of sleep. You know what I mean? You can't do that.

And please don't interpret this information as us saying, oh, if you've got some mental health issues, just go and have a nap. Have a bit of a sleep. That's not what we mean. It's just, but these psychologists from study, they said. Need to get the sleep right. Of those three pillars of health, and this is for overall well-being, actually. They said it starts with sleep.

Sleep is such a hard thing, and I've talked to a lot of people about it. It's such, like, it affects so much. And I think there's so many people out there who struggle with sleep. Like I don't think people talk about it as often as probably what we should. But like that's why products like weighted blankets are coming around and all this stuff to really – Magnesium supplements. Magnesium, you know, melatonin, all that stuff where it's like trying to help people.

Black Market, lorazepam. Don't buy that. Don't buy that. Don't ever buy that. Yeah, yeah. But it does bring you back to my key point of 2020, and that is that the ideal bedtime is 9.30. Stand by it.

The best bedtime is 9.30. You know, they also say, though, too much sleep is bad for you as well. Yeah, none of us are in danger of getting too much sleep at the moment. Don't worry about that. All right? Oh, I mean, I slipped for a farewell yesterday.

Yeah, it's because of the Christmas party. It's a different story. Christmas party on the weekend for us and for lots of people listening too. It is the season for Christmas parties, isn't it? We went on a hike, which I know was your worst nightmare beforehand. How did you enjoy it while we were doing it? Hated it.

And we had a picnic at the beach. Loved it. Loved it. And then we went to Vaughan's house and got lit AF until about quite late, actually, didn't we? Loved that part too. Great Christmas party. The ZM tradition is we do Secret Santa

and everybody gets somebody else and you put the gifts in a box and then we open them together on Santa's knee. No, you don't do it on Santa's knee. No, you don't do it on Santa's knee. Who did I sit on? I don't know who you were sitting on. I think that was some guy that just walked into the party. Yeah, right. But you open

it in front of the whole group of people, which isn't a small group. No. It's like 30 or 40 of us. Yeah, we're a big team. It's a big team and everyone is watching you open this gift from someone you don't know who it's from. Here to explain what she got for Secret Santa is producer Anastasia.

Hi. Hi. Tell us what gift you received on Saturday for Secret Santa. For those of you who don't know because my name's Russian, I'm Dutch and And someone knows... Gave you a Dutch oven. It was very awkward on the day. They know how much I miss the homeland.

I was going to go there this year. So they gave me some wrapping paper with my face on it, Van Gogh, cheese, all things Dutch. Dutch flags. I opened it up. Dutch flags, all that stuff. I opened it up. A lovely box of Heinekens.

Two skipping ropes. That's good for you. Yeah, I like that. Some small Dutch pancakes. Another Dutch branded beer. Lots of Dutch stuff. And then a small envelope, which I was like, oh, I wonder what's going to be in here.

Like a small windmill or something. Well, you know. Two tickets to the canals. Yeah, the canals, yeah. Yeah, that could have been it. What was it? It was an illicit substance. Yeah.

A spliffity spliff. Yeah. Someone literally gave you a schmock and a pancake. Schmock, pipe and a crepe. An Amsterdamiff. Yeah. Someone literally gave you a schmock and a pancake. Schmock, pipe and a crud. An Amsterdam special. Yeah. Which in any other workplace could have been, I mean, could have been really awkward, right?

Well, yeah, yeah. It wasn't awkward for us. Oh, it was, yeah. Was it awkward? I felt uncomfortable. Well, you received it in front of your boss. How did you feel about being given a naughty cigarette for your cigarette sander? Well, I mean, it was a good conversation starter.

I met a lot of people that I don't normally talk to to talk about it. They came up to talk to you. Were you popular after that, were you? Yeah, yeah. Receiving a special gift made me a lot more cooler. Yeah, right, okay. Because in a lessened substance, not that it is cool.

No, I don't know. It's a conversation starter. It's a conversation starter. Yeah. Hey, what did you get from Secret Santa? Yeah, it was certainly a popular attraction

in the team. And I'm very grateful because the Heineken's went down beautifully. Yes. And the pancakes were lovely the next day for breakfast. Your panic.

And of course, the envelope thing went down well in the toilet where we put it, right? It's gone. It's flushed it. It has been flushed. And we got a lot of use out of those two skipping ropes too. That was quite fun. We want to know on 0800 dial ZM this afternoon,

have you ever received an inappropriate secret Santa gift? It doesn't have to be illegal. I'm trying to think if I have. I don't think so. Did someone give you something? Did they read the room wrong? Did they give you an item where you go, you can't actually gift this.

This is not something that can be given out. Was it inappropriate? Yeah. Or was it just something that you would never, ever, ever use in your entire life and go, why the hell am I getting one of these? I think that happens quite often, doesn't it? You can call us on 0800

dial ZM or you can text your inappropriate secret Santa gift to 9696 and we'll get you on up to Mariah Carey, Brie and Clint ZM. This wasn't the song, was it? No, definitely. 100% wasn't this song. Kia ora, I'm Jane Yee.

I'm Alex Casey. And I'm Duncan Grave. We are the hosts of The Real Pod and Confession Cam Time. We bloody love reality telly. If we sound like your type on paper, join us each week for your fix of reality TV news, recaps and gossip. On The Real Pod, it's perfectly fine to like reality TV. It's a safe space,

so let down your walls, wear your heart on your sleeve, and remember, it is what it is. And what it is, is the RealPod. Brought to you by the Spinoff Podcast Network and available wherever you get your pods. Brian Clint. Our Dutch producer Anastasia got given a joint

for Secret Santa. Inappropriate work Christmas party. I think the person who gave it to her put a lot of thought and effort into that gift. Yeah, they rolled it quite good. And look, in a workplace like ours, obviously nothing

illegal happens, but it went down okay. In some workplaces that could be given over and that could be a fireable offence, you know? It was a gag. It was a gag. Yeah, and it was just grass inside it anyway. So we want to know, on 0800DIALZM,

did you receive an inappropriate Secret Santa gift? Maybe this year or maybe in other years? Hi, Steve. G'day, Steve. Hey. What did you get, Steve, for Secret Santa? Pierce-shaped Hey. What did you get, Steve, for Secret Santa? Pierce-shaped pasta. What?

That exists? It exists. Where do I get that from? No idea. Now, why was it inappropriate? Steve, are you gluten-free? Absolutely. That's the reason.

Yeah, right. Fair enough. Okay, great. I appreciate that, Giv. That's quite funny. Yeah, and where Fair enough. Okay, great. I appreciate that gift. That's quite funny. Yeah. And where do you get it from? Where do you get it?

Can someone text us on 9696? Hi, Ashley. G'day, Ash. Hiya. Did you get an inappropriate secret Santa gift? Oh, it wasn't an appropriate gift, but it was more like a last minute one. Oh, yeah. I was given a TV guide and a nail file.

A TV guide and a nail file. A TV guide and a nail file. Yeah, it was wonderful. They clearly stopped at a servo to get that, actually. Yeah, I think it was more, I think it was like, oh, it's all right, we've got chicken stand-up. What do I have in my glove box? Damn. Was it even a current TV guide?

Like, was it for the following week or was it an old one? I honestly didn't even check. You didn't bother checking? And I was like, well, I'm going to do nothing with this. Yeah, wow. Do they still make the TV Guide? I hope so. I love the TV Guide.

Crosswords. I still use the TV Guide on my phone all the time. Yeah? I like to Google it. Yeah, nice. I Google the TV Guide. Oh, it'll be a good gift for you then. Hi, Richie.

G'day, Richie. How are you? Did you get an inappropriate Secret Santa gift? Yeah. I got a G-string from my auntie. Oh,, Richie. How are you? Did you get an inappropriate secret Santa gift? Yeah, I got a G-string from my auntie. Oh, itchy Richie. Yeah, and then she backed it up again the next year. What, another G-string?

Yeah, two in a row. Does she want you to, you know, get into wearing G-strings or something? I don't know. I think they wanted me to do a bit of a show or something. Wait! Do you wear G-strings? No, no, they wanted me to do a bit of a show or something. Wait! Do you wear G-strings? No, no, shit no, nah. So where did she get the idea that that would be a good gift for you? I don't know.

I think she was just trying to get a laugh out of everyone. Yeah, right. And did it work? Yeah. Yeah, well, it embarrassed me for a bit there, yeah. I reckon the first year it would have worked. The second year. Yeah, yeah.

The second year was quite obvious. She's a bit weird. Does she have you for Secret Santa again this year? Um, uh, I hope not. Yeah, right. Yeah, good luck, Richie. You should turn the tables on her and get her something awkward.

Like what? I don't know. Can of whipped cream and some handcuffs. And a whip. Yeah. And then she has to open it in front of everyone. Finally, Naomi, did you get an inappropriate Secret Santa gift? I did. So I'm a teacher, and my Secret Santa gift was a New Zealand Eye Fighters calendar.

Oh, I love those. Full of half-naked men. And so that was okay, not something I'm really into or going to look at. But then I was flicking through it just to have a look, and September was my ex. No! Actually, good for you, Naomi. Not a bad effort.

Yeah, I guess so. Not a bad effort. Was it a coincidence, or was that the real reason that they got you the fireman's calendar? No, they had no idea. I was living in a different town at this stage. What? It was a pure coincidence.

Wait, I've always wondered about those fireman's calendars. Is your ex actually a firefighter? He is. Oh, okay. And can I ask Naomi, was he the one that was climbing the ladder or was he holding the big hose? I got such a shock, I closed it very quickly.

I bet you did. I've seen those calendars. I think they're all holding the big hose. They it very quickly. I bet you did. I've seen those calendars. I think they're all holding the big host. They're all holding. Right, gotcha. Yeah, right. Thanks, Naomi. Merry Christmas, mate.

I appreciate that. Yeah, you too. Also, for anyone playing along at home, if you wanted to buy your own penis pasta, it's from, apparently you can get it at Pack and Save or Acquisitions, a shop called Acquisitions. Pack and Save is pack and penis pasta. Yeah, apparently it stocks it.

Say that five times fast. Pack and Save is pack and penis pasta. Stickman, am I right? Thanks, stickman. More like dickman. Anyway. Anyway, very serious. I wanted to talk about this is like a big deal,

but there is a famous person who I think is qualified for the Olympic trials for their country. Right. So this person, normally a singer. Oh, right. You mean famous not for sport. Not for sport. Right.

Okay. Played and did this sport as a kid and was good, but then had to pick when they were around 13 which way they would go. They went with music. But now looks like they I'm pretty sure they have qualified

for that country's Olympic trials. Got it. Do you know who it is? I don't, but I think I can guess it. Will you be pissed off if I get it? No, I'll be surprised. I think it's Jason Derulo and he's qualified for breakdancing. Did I get it?

Not even close. Not even close. I thought because that's the new sport in the Olympics. But it makes sense. So all of a sudden all these, yeah. No, it's a sport that's already been in the Olympics. But it makes sense. So all of a sudden all these, yeah. No, it's a sport that's already been in the Olympics. Oh, right.

The sport is swimming. Oh. Like legit. You need to be training seven days a week. Well, you've got to have good cardio strength for both of these passion projects. Okay, swimming, swimming, swimming. Swimming. I'll give you one more guess.

Do we have a clip there, Producer Ben? Okay, when you're ready, once you have your second guess, you can play the clip of the person that it is. Okay, so I get to guess first? You can have one more guess. Adele. Adele, and that's why she got so fat. Well, I mean, she'd be, yeah. She'd be lightning speed in the water these days, wouldn't she?

But I'm guessing it's not. It's not. Okay. It is X of Miley Cyrus, Cody Simpson. Really? Qualified for the Australian Olympic Trials in swimming. Holy crap, look at him. With a 100-metre butterfly.

Look at him. He's a monster. He looks like Michael Phelps. So what people don't, of course, people would know about Cody Simpson if you're a fan of him. Yeah, he had to pick between professional swimming or music when he was 13. Well, he was on track when he was 13. Who knows what he would have done. But he has been training, I think, for about five or six months,

and he is now qualified for the Olympic trials. Have him and Miley broken up? Yeah. Oh. Well, I don't know. They broke up. Yeah. Well, that's sad.

But, I mean, obviously it threw him headfirst into the pool and he got his training up. That's so impressive. I'm not joking when I say this, because I think if Cody Simpson is a 16-year-old pop star and seeing this picture of him now. He looks like a swimmer,

doesn't he? He looks like an Olympic swimmer and you know how butterfly swimmers have that even different frame again? They kind of look like a stingray with arms. Yeah, he looks like that.

So he's 23 and he said he's on track to fulfil his dream of going to the Olympics. Yeah, wow. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, and when you said X of Miley Cyrus,

and sorry, Cody, I default went to Liam Hemsworth. I mean, he's an athlete. And I was like, what's he going for? Whatever he wants, eh? Yeah, he could do whatever. Oh, cool. There you go. Never give up on your dreams.

There's always time. They should get more celebrities into the Olympics. Get the viewership up. Bree and Clint. Time for a cliffhanger. Oh, my God. What? No way. I can't believe that happened.

Oh, my God, no. Are you f***ing kidding me? Brie and Clint's Cliffhanger. Pretty simple. You guys call us up, tell us a story, leave us on a cliffhanger, and then there'll be three alternative endings, the real one from you, and then one written by me and Clint,

and the rest of the audience just has to pick the real one. Here to leave us on a cliffhanger is Anonymous. Hi. Hello, mate. Hi. Hi. How are you guys? You're going good.

How are you? I'm good. I'm good. Okay, when you're ready, tell us everything except the end of your story. Okay, so basically when I was in high school at the end of year 13, my friends had an 18th birthday party and we'd had a few drinks and everything and it was a pool party. So yeah, I was intending on swimming, but after a few drinks I decided actually I would.

So I jumped in the pool and swam around for a bit. And then when I got out, I noticed something really embarrassing. All right. Producer Ben has three possible endings. Ending number one, my left breast was hanging out of my top. And from this day forward, I was known as Boo-Borella. I don't mind that name. Ending number two.

Boo-Borella, spin it up one time. Ending number two. It turns out that my pad had come out and was now floating around in the pool for everyone to see. Oh, no. Yep, yep. Ending number three. There he was, my boyfriend of two years,

hooking up with the hottest girl in our grade right in front of me, and everyone at the party saw. None of them great endings? No. But one of them is a real ending. Joe, can you pick it? I'm thinking it's number three.

Number three. Number three, her boyfriend of two years was there hooking up with the hottest girl in our grade and everyone saw. Anonymous, what's the real ending to your cliffhanger? Her boyfriend of two years was there hooking up with the hottest girl in our grade and everyone saw her. Anonymous, what's the real ending to your cliffhanger? That my pad came out. Anonymous!

Oh, no. No wonder you weren't planning on swimming. Wait, I didn't think you could swim with those. I thought it had to be the other. The latter. Yeah. So, basically, what had happened is, yeah, I didn't think you could swim with those. I thought it had to be the other. The latter. Yeah. So basically what had happened is, yeah, I don't know. I just had a few too many drinks.

Obviously forgotten that that's the reason that I didn't want to swim. And yeah, I didn't realize I went to the bathroom and it went round. Everybody knew about it, but no one knew it was me apart from my closest friends. Oh my God. For keeping that a secret. Oh, so you got away with it. I got away with it. I got away with it, but the next Monday in my health class, I heard someone go, ooh, names. Dad had to pick a pad out of the pool the next day after the party.

Who would do that? You're like the Banksy of pads. Yeah. Yeah, girl. Amazing story. Hey, we've all been there, mate, at some point. We've all had an embarrassing situation like that, so don't worry about it.

Great. Club Hangout Anonymous, we're going to get you some free mobile fuel. Well done. Awesome. Thank you so much. There you go. Turning a negative into a positive.

That's what we like. Maybe write something on your hand this summer if you're in that situation. I don't think after that experience she would ever forget again. No, I'm offering other people advice, not her. I was reading something in the Herald this morning, New Zealand's

newspaper, the New Zealand Herald. You alright there? Shameless plug. It said this, it said, tis the season where, without fail, the ghosts of boyfriends past will creep out of the woodwork and slide back down the chimney that is your DMs. And it got me thinking, yeah, I can see how that might be true.

It's a time when people get lonely and, you know, you have a lot of time to think because a lot of people are on holidays. They see other people, maybe their siblings with partners, and they're like, ooh. Obviously, people got a lot of time on think because a lot of people are on holidays. They see other people, maybe their siblings with partners, and they're like, ooh. Obviously, people got a lot of time on their hands. I miss mine. I miss my ex. I wish I hadn't ended it that bad.

I wonder if they still like me. Apparently, when your ex gets back in touch with you at Christmas, there's a word for it. What does it mean? It's called marling. Marling? The word for an ex getting in contact at Christmas is marling because it comes from the word, it's inspired by Jacob Marley

who is the ghost of Christmas past who appears to Ebenezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol. Right. So your boyfriend is the ghost of Christmas past coming back into your DMs. Gotcha. I thought we could take some calls this afternoon. It doesn't have to be Christmas

on when your ex decided to get back in touch with you. Maybe there was a reason. I'd like to talk to the person who texted us and they said, the last time I heard from my ex was when I got engaged to my current partner two months ago. See, that's not a coincidence. Not a coincidence. They're just trying to rock the boat. They also want to know if there's any residual feelings there or anything like that.

Trying to get in before anything super permanent happens. I would love to hear from someone who got a message from their ex maybe on their wedding day. That's awkward. And they mask it with, hey, haven't been in contact for a while. Just wanted to drop a message and say you look really happy. I hope you're happy. That is so, so not what the text actually means. No, absolutely that's not what the text is about.

No. Did you hear from your ex as soon as you lost a whole lot of weight? As soon as you got fit, were they straight back in the DMs? Yeah, and you were looking really fit and good. Did you hear from your ex as soon as they got a new partner? What do you mean? As in they've realised how amazing you were when they started dating someone else? Maybe, yeah.

And they missed you? Yeah. We can keep you anonymous on this one, but we would like to hear from you this afternoon on 0800DIALZM. When did you last hear from your ex? Maybe it was yesterday or the weekend just gone. Yeah. Maybe the Christmas thing. What's it called?

Marleying. Yeah. Maybe you're getting marleyed. Yeah, maybe you're getting marleyed as we speak. Give us a call or you can text us as well on 9696. And like I said, we can keep your name off it. That's totally fine. Just love to hear the gossip, really.

What's going down in the DMs? Bree and Clint. We want to know the last time you heard from your ex, and we are getting some juicy stuff. There is some full-on text coming through. Someone texted through and they said, the last time I heard from my ex was on Messenger while he was on his honeymoon.

Oh, nah. Don't be that guy. That's not good. Someone else said, this happened to me. My husband's ex sent a text five days before our wedding. That's not ideal. How pissed off would you be?

That is not ideal. Someone else said, oh God, there's so many horrible ones. The last I heard from my ex was the day before him and his new girlfriend went Facebook official. He asked me if I wanted to try us again. The day before he announced his new... Neck man up.

Right. Just to check. For the record, it's not hearing from your ex that's the weird thing. Like, it's perfectly healthy to have a dialogue with your ex. Yeah, but it's the timing and it's the connotations and it's the... Yeah. A lot of people... What is the stuff that went around that?

A lot of people saying they heard from exes after they announced that they were pregnant. Oh. Or they were engaged or, you know, big life moments. Oh, if they're pregnant, leave them alone. Yeah, a lot of people saying that. Last I heard from my ex was when I announced I was pregnant with my current partner. That just came in. Yeah, right.

Okay. Danielle's here. Hi, Danielle. Okay, Danielle's here. Hi, Danielle. Hi, Danny. Hi. Oh, sorry. No, you go. When's the last time you heard from your ex?

Well, the last time we were talking, my fiancé actually asked my ex to be a groomsman. What? What? Yeah. We're getting married in March, and my ex is going to be one of the two groomsmen for my birthday. How do you feel about that?

Just to make it a bit more juicy, his wife is going to be my bridesmaid. Wait. You're obviously all friends. Are you guys all good? Yeah, yeah, we are. We dated when we were young. I was about 17 when we dated.

Oh, right. Okay. Oh, well, we dated when we were young. I was about 17 when we dated. Oh, right, okay. Oh, well, that's nice. But, yeah, it was a little bit strange for my now fiancé at the beginning because I was very close to my ex and his wife. And so it was really strange for him having that relationship at the beginning. But after some time, they've become more like brothers now, so that's why he's a groomsman. Yeah, that is quite juicy.

That's a Shortland Street-style plot line there. Yeah, that is, isn't it? Thanks, Danielle. Let's go to someone who wants to remain anonymous. Hello, anonymous. Hi, anonymous. Hi. Can you hear me?

We can. Are you the person that your husband or your soon-to-be husband sent a text five days before your guy's wedding? So, husband now, but yeah, so five, well, about five, 15 days before the wedding, and he got an Instagram DM. No. Oh, he received the DM. Yeah, right, he received the DM from his ex.

Yes, he received the DM just saying, hey, mate, just know your wedding's coming up. I hope you're well. It's exciting that we've both found what we're looking for. You seem to be happy, all the best. God bless. Classic line. Do you think it was genuine anonymous?

No, I think it was just checking in. Just checking in to make sure. Here's a question. How do you know that he received the message? Did he tell you? Yeah, so he told me, oh, this has come in. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. And is that what you wanted?

You wanted to be told, or did that set off a bit of a chain reaction five days out from the wedding? No, I was happy to be told. Early in the relationship, she messaged quite a lot. It got on my nerves so I said just let me know so I can be calm. Yeah, be all good.

Before the wedding I didn't care because we were getting married so it wasn't really a problem. He was locked in. The deposit had been paid five days before the wedding. That is so premeditated. We're also getting some Facebook messages on this. When was the last time you heard from your ex? Someone said, she just moved into the flat opposite me.

Oh. Someone else said, I actually live with mine. Yeah. So this morning over toast. And someone else said, I talked to my ex this morning as I was leaving his house. Well, there you go. There's a whole other situation to be in. Finally,

Anonymous has called through. When was the last time you heard from your ex? The last time I heard from my ex was the day before he and his new girlfriend went Facebook official. Oh, you're that girl. That's you. What did you think? So what did he message you the day before he became Facebook official with this other girl? So the day before he became Facebook official with this other girl. So that day before it happened, he messaged me. He wanted to see if we wanted to try again. And this was about six months after we'd originally broken up.

Does part of you want to tell the new girl? Or do you like, I want to say the hell out of that? Well, as far as I know, to be honest, the last three years, their relationship's been quite rocky too. So I feel like it's probably something that I didn't get involved in. Wouldn't have guessed that, Anonymous. I probably dodged a bit of a bullet.

Yeah, right. I'm shocked by the end of that story. I'm shocked. Anonymous, thank you for your call. It's very, very good. We appreciate it. We appreciate the call. No worries.

I think you dodged a bullet. There you go. That term once more, if you hear from your ex at Christmas time, marling, like the ghost of Christmas past. That's where it comes from. Brie and Clint. I don't know. It's my birthday.

It's my birthday. Brie and Clint's birthday banger. I had three Christmas parties on the weekend, okay? Three. Did you? Yeah. What did you have yesterday? Yours and then the ZM one, and then Robert's family Christmas.

Oh, God. Yeah, big weekend. I'm going to sleep through Christmas Day. Is that why you're a bit cross-eyed today? Fifth to last birthday banger of 2020. This is our last week on air for the year. Yes, and we'll take three people's birthdays. We'll figure out what was number one on their

16th. Hi, Mel. G'day, Mel. Hey, guys. How are you? Great, thanks. How are you? Very good, thanks, Mel. Let's do your birthday banger. What's your birthday? 27th of November, 1987. Right, you were 16 in 2003 on the 27th of November, And this is your birthday banger. Yes. What a great birthday banger. Fat Man Scoop. You like it? Yeah, nice.

That'll get the party started. Okay, cool. Let's go to Dakota. Hi, Dakota. Hi, Dakota. Hello. I love your name, by, cool. Let's go to Dakota. Hi, Dakota. Hi, Dakota. Hello. I love your name, by the way. It's such a cool name. Oh, thank you.

What's your birthday, Dakota? 10th of November, 1997. All right. You were 16 in 2013 on the 10th of November. And in 2013, this had the number one hit. Save me. Oh, vibes. Jubilee.

Clinging. That's right. Yeah. Do you like it, Dakota? I mean, it's not really twerk-worthy, but it'll do. It's not twerk-worthy. No, it's more like a... It was a vibe of 2013, though.

I'd like to see you try and twerk to it, though. I'll try this weekend. Yeah, you'll give it a go. Let's see if you can vibe to this next one. Hi, Colleen. Hi. Our second Colleen in the space of a week. This name is popping off in Birthday Banger at the moment.

What's your birthday, Colleen? 10th of December, 1978. All right, you were 16 in 1994 on the 10th of December. And, Colleen, this is your birthday banger. Get it, Colleen. You got Cotton Eye Joe. How do you feel about that? I love Cotton Eye.

Yeah. Who doesn't love a bit of Cotton Eye Joe? Get down. Get your country on. Okay, wait there, Colleen. Three great birthday bangers today. Fat Man Scoop, Jubel and Cotton Eye Joe. My gut says for the end of the year that it should be Fat Man Scoop. Be faithful.

My gut says Cottonod and I Joe. Right. For a Monday. Listen to it. Look, I also know that there is a slight issue with the version of Be Faithful that we've got. Remember we played it a little while ago and there's like half a verse missing? Is there? Yeah.

I don't remember that. I don't know if we've rectified that yet. So actually I know, you know what, let's go with the tried and true. The one we know is going to be great.

From the rednecks, Colleen, you've just won birthday banger. Oh, awesome. Get ready, Colleen. Get ready. Hike your boots up.

Fortnite Joe's in town. Brian Clint, this is the winner of Birthday Banger. Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from? Fortnite Joe. Where did you come from? Where did you go?

Where did you come from? Fortnite Joe. Where did you come from? Fortnite Joe. I've been married a long time ago. ស្រាប់បានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានប� He came to town like a meeting stone He rolled through the field so awesome and strong He's a true, true, sunny-sour girl But all his trouble was having so much fun I've been married a long time ago Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from? Cotton-eyed Joe!

Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from? Cotton-eyed Joe! He rolled the sacks to wherever he went The hearts of the girls were to have a go He ran away so nobody would know And left on the land of a cat and a dog But I've been forgotten, I do. I've been married a long time ago. Where did you come from?

Where did you go? Where did you come from? Cotton Eye Joe. But I've been forgotten, I do. I've been married a long time ago. Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from?

Cotton Eye Joe. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, I'm Mr. Cotton Eye Joe. I've been married a long time ago. Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton Eye Joe? Hey, I'm Mr. Cotton Eye Joe. I've been married a long time ago.

Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton Eye Joe? ZM Bree and Clint The winner of Birthday Banger is the rednecks and cotton-eyed Joe Can I ask, what does that mean? Where did it... Cotton-Eyed Joe.

Cotton-Eyed Joe. Should I Google that? I think it's a derogatory term for people from the country. Oh. I think. I don't know. I'm offended. As we started playing that too, Brie goes, is this the one that Ross Boss hates?

Makes me want to play it more. Yeah, he's shown his hand way too early in this game. Here at the Bree and Clint Show, we've got your back. We like to help people that listen to this show and we want to help you optimise your 2021 leave. We're a work smarter, not harder kind of show. Always have been. We're a work smarter, not harder kind of show. Always have been. We're a work less, not more kind of show.

We've done the calculations for you, so you don't have to. Let's start with New Year's for 2021, which is very soon. Yeah. Wait, what's the goal here, by the way, with these? The goal is to turn 16 days of leave into, what did I say? 48. 48 days off. Okay. So you're maximising the 48. 48 days off. Okay.

So you're maximising the leave that you get given. Exactly. And taking it strategically. Like public holidays and that kind of thing. If you take the days off where you should, you'll get maximum amount of time off. Got it. So the first one is a new year for 2021. It actually falls on a Friday, New Year's Day, which means if you take four days of leave, you can get 10 days off.

Oh, because you get the first and the second, so you get the Monday and then... So if you book in the 6th till the 9th and then you can get 10 days off in a row, which is great. What about Waitangi Day? You can take one day of leave, get four days off, because February 6th is a Saturday next year. Oh, so you get the Friday for free or the Monday. Yes.

And you take the other one. And then you take another day and you can have four days off, which is good. What about Easter? This is one of our favourite ones. We always do Easter. Take four days of leave, get 10 days off. Where?

Oh, right. The four-day Easter weekend, which is Good Friday, April 2nd to Easter Monday. Yeah, so if you take April 6th to 9th, it's an easy way to get a 10-day break. The Easter one you can do every year. Yes. Because Easter's not date-specific.

It's always on the first Sunday or whatever it is. Yes, exactly right. So that's always what you should do. Sorry to my Catholic upbringing for not knowing when Easter is. Also, if you are a Southlander, there's the Southland Anniversary Day on Tuesday, April 6th, so meaning you can get 10 days off for three days of leave. Wait.

Because you go. Is that built into Easter? Yeah. So you don't have to take as many Wait. Because you go. Is that built into Easter? Yeah. So you don't have to take as many off because you get that day already. Damn. So they're lucky. What about Anzac Day? Take one day of leave, get four days off.

I mean, that's pretty standard because the Monday is the closest. You're just taking long, long weekends. Yeah. Same with Queen's birthday. You can do that. Same with Labor Day. These are all the same. But Christmas and New Year, if you take four days of leave next,

so this is next year, not this year, you can get 12 days off. See, that's the key. That's the key. That's the big one. So what you want to do is you want to get your leave in right now for December 2021, December 29 to 31. You joke, but we've actually done that before. And the problem was that Fletch, Vaughan and Megan

saw this hack at the exact same time as us. And we were all like, it's all above board. It's totally legit. We put it in and Ross is like, yeah, it's totally above board and it's all legit. But how am I meant to run a radio station if no one is here? If you're all away for 12 days. Show cut.

We're going to cut it. Show us the slips. Show cut. Who got it in first? Who got it in first? Show us the slips. Show us. Show us the proof.

You know what's also really exciting about next year? Just play a podcast. We don't care. Yeah, put something on. Is there is the first new public holiday in 50 years. Oh, is this Matariki? Matariki. Maori New Year's. Does it start this year? 21? Oh, no, wait. From 2022. Oh, is this Matariki? Matariki Maori New Year's.

Does it start this year? Oh no, wait, from 2022. Oh, sorry. I just got a lot of people's hopes up. Sorry about that, guys. Yeah, well, these things take time. But it's coming. It's coming. I mean, that's the first one in 50 years. Yeah, and there was talk that they were going to have to

cancel one to start a new one. What? Yeah. No. They're not. They're putting in another one have to cancel one to start a new one. What? Yeah. No. But they're not. They're not. They're not. They're putting in another one. Oh, I was about to write a letter. To who? Jacinda.

Yeah, Jacinda. There's another one of these lists during the rounds, which is the six telltale signs that it's time to break up with your partner. Oh, these always go around. They do. And honestly, if you read them, you'll find what you're looking for. That's the problem. You'll interpret it

and you'll start putting yourself and then you go, oh my God, maybe I do need to break up with my partner. That's me. If you're looking for the inspiration, you'll find it. Yeah.

But just so we're clear, it's things like not enough communication, no intimacy, you don't feel appreciated, you think they're lying to you, those things. I thought what we could do

this afternoon is you and I as experienced relationship experts Don't feel appreciated. You think they're lying to you. Those things. I thought what we could do, as it's known, is you and I as experienced relationship experts, and now in successful relationships, oh my God, look at us. We live with our partners. Don't jinx us. Yeah, true. Mine's stuck.

She's got my kid, so we're established. I thought what we could do is the real six reasons The relatable ones. Yeah why you should break up with your partner. If this stuff is going on within your relationship then hey it's time to get out. The ones that will resonate. So what do you got? Okay I

want to kick it off with the reasons why you should leave your partner. If they eat your leftovers, knowing how much you were looking forward to them. Yeah, exactly right. I'd be out. Or if they know you're going to be hungover the next day.

Yes. There's a deeper rooted issue if they do that. They're selfish. Yes. Yeah. They're not thinking about you. Yeah. It's grounds for divorce.

What have you got? The real reasons you should leave your partner. If they're over 30 and they're still wearing one of those belt bags as a satchel. Bum bag. Yeah. Over their shoulder. You look like you're dealing pingers at Rhythm and Vines. You do.

I'm just going to come out and say that. It's not pulling at all. Am I jealous that it's a look that I can't achieve? Possibly. I don't know if you ever would have been able to achieve it. Thanks. No, but I'm just saying. There's some stuff you can.

Yeah, right, right, right. But there's just, you know, you can pull off other things. Anyway, that's a reason. Second one, reasons why it's time to end your relationship. If they don't go and get the Uber Eats when it's at the door, even though you did the ordering and paid for it. Again, selfish. Again.

And again for you, food-based. It's give or take. All of mine, I think. I'm noticing a trend. Yeah, right. The real reasons why you should break up with your partner. This one's quite personal for me. If they keep their tomato sauce in the fridge.

I keep mine in the fridge. And that's why you and I would never work. Who wants, this is a personal bugbear for me. Who is out there enjoying cold ass sauce on their hot food? It goes mouldy in the cupboard. Yeah, eat it faster. Who wants mouldy tomato sauce? Eat it faster.

It's full of salt. I'm not going to drink tomato sauce. Okay, all right, let me rephrase. If your partner keeps a tomato sauce where you don't, it's either time to break up with your partner or it's time to get your own sauce. One of the two. You decide which.

One's a bit easier than the other. Reasons to break up with your partner. If they don't ask you if you need to use the bathroom before they go in there and absolutely destroy it so it can't be used for multiple hours. Do the right thing. You always courtesy us. Again, kind of food-based.

Kind of. You, you, you need two bathrooms. I'm just going to come out and say it. No, it's pretty simple. One day when you buy your own house, you need two bathrooms. You be considerate. Hey, babe, do you need to use the bathroom? Because, damn, something's about to go down in there.

Bree and Clint. the bathroom because damn something's about to go down in there what is the town or city in new zealand that is destroying more lime scooters than any other town or so i have no idea clint shut up you've already read the story okay just let me do it for everybody else all right please tell me i'm so interested well i will actually yeah the town or city destroying more lime scooters is Hamilton. There you go. Where are the stats coming from? And I don't even know if you did read the story.

I think you just guessed. I actually just guessed. Yeah. And that's why I said before, you said no one wants this title. I think maybe the people of Hamilton are quite pleased with their title. You reckon? I think maybe it speaks to their character. Is that offensive?

I can't tell if you're trying to be offensive. Put it this way. I'm from Rotorua, and so Hamilton to me is the big city. We always look at them as a big city. But at the same time, I'm a Chiefs fan. I know you guys are Chiefs fans. It's a bit rugged down in Hamilton. We do things a bit differently.

And I just think that maybe this is a crown that you might be proud of. Eight Lime scooters a week are being destroyed in Hamilton. Oh, no. It's gotten so bad that the owners of Lime have had to come out and issue a threat, actually. They've said, until we get Lime damage under control, we really can't afford to upgrade our fleet as much as we would like to. So no new Limes for Hamilton until you stop breaking them. I think maybe you're looking at this from the wrong angle too.

I don't think it should be seen as a vandalism thing. I think maybe you need to treat Hamilton as a test market and go these guys are pushing lime scooters to their extremes. Hamilton is where we can find out what they're really capable of. I don't know if throwing them in the river is pushing it to the extreme.

Again, you're looking at it through the wrong lens. Are they waterproof? Is what you should be asking. Not, you shouldn't be snapping the handlebars off these. You should be going how high a jump can you take a lime scooter off? You shouldn't be jumping them. You shouldn't be saying

It's not safe. You shouldn't be saying why are you setting our lime scooters on fire? You should be saying are lime scooters flameproof? And the good people of Hamilton are willing to find that out for you, so maybe you should be giving them more lime scooters is all I'm saying. I think you should do what they've done in Auckland, take them away, and then they will appreciate them more. Well, this is where it could be going, yeah.

We here in Auckland no longer have lines. They took them off us because we were naughty. We have 45 other brands of scooter and whenever you want to use one, you have no idea which app you need and you have no idea whether you have the app installed. You have to download the app, then use the code to go onto the internet

to then scan the code, to then use it on the new app, to then download the app, to put a password in, to then scan the code, to then use it on the new app, to then download the app, to put a password in, to then get the code for the new app and then you can ride the scooter. To only realise that you don't have your credit card with you. It's actually, and then it's the wrong company.

So maybe actually I'm wrong. Maybe you should look after your limes, Hamilton. You don't want to end up like us. Every now and then we get a really buzzy text come through on 9696 And you guys can text us whenever you want Especially if you've got a great story like this I read this text and I thought We can't go past getting this person on to tell this story

And she joins us right now Hello Flick Hi Tell us what happened with your cat So in 2015 I moved house And we kept her inside for about three weeks. When we let her outside, she disappeared. On Saturday.

Like Saturday just gone? Yep, half of December, five years later, I got a phone call from the vet saying they had my Kira. Your cat has shown up after five years. Five years. Where has she been? Where have you been, bitch? She's skinnier than she was, so who knows? Do you reckon she's been living with someone, Flick? Like, do you reckon

someone's been looking after her? Surely. The vet said the last couple of months an older woman had been feeding her. Oh, yeah? Right, okay. But she's very scruffy and she's a little bit bald, but she's healthy. Do you think she remembers you? I always wonder this about cats, because I know dogs do,

but do you get the feeling that your cat remembers you after being missing for five years? Yeah, she's not scared. She's been purring and coming around for cuddles. I think she does. Do you think she blames you for this, by the way? No. Where have you been, bitch?

She's the one that ran away. Yeah, but you know what? Cats are like, they don't care about that. They're like, yeah, but this was your fault. Felicity, do you still have room in your life for your missing cat or have you moved on? Like, do you have a dog now? Do you have three other cats? Does this story not have a happy ending?

It has half a happy ending. I have two cats already and our landlord has already declined a third cat. Oh no! So which one are you going to get rid of? She's going to a really close friend of mine who loves animals and I know

she's going to take care of them. You can't! You can't send this cat away again. You can't. It's been five years. She just got back to you. Sorry to do this to you, but you can't get rid of that cat. You need to give away one of the others. It's their turn.

Make it cat survivor or something. Get the cats to vote another cat out or something. Yeah. You all vote. I'll fight her from the landlord. One last question, Flick. Is this because she was microchipped? Is that the only reason?

Obviously, she's made her way back to you guys. Yeah. Yeah, it was the microchip. As soon as they, when they scanned her, they weren't expecting it, but it came up with my name and number. She's a gangster cat. She's been dodging and weaving. She belongs to the streets now.

Getting scanned for five years. What's the cat's name, by the way? Kira. Kira. Congratulations. That's a Christmas miracle. What's the cat's name, by the way? Kira. Kira. Congratulations. That's a Christmas miracle. That's crazy. Definitely.

See you, Felicity. Thanks for the text. Thanks, Fleek. Don't worry. Bye. Bye. Mobile smiles. Register. Fill up. Redeem points for rewards. Easy. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Fletchborn and Megan a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. ZM.