ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – January 28th 2019

Episode Date: January 28, 2019

Are you a flatearther?DNA DietDean McCarthy Live from LAGordan Ramseys NZ pilotWhat do you want to say about Aucklanders?Beat The Bull – Day1Clints Stag rashWe call Brynee about us playing at LanewayBirthday Banger!Orifice objectsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kia ora everybody, welcome to the Bree and Clint podcast. Yo! Yeah. Alright. Alright. You trying out a new gangster persona? Yep. Alright.

Bree's wearing her laneway outfit today. She's got her um... Fedora. Festival hat. It's a fedora. Your um, ripped band t-shirt. And uh, your dungarees. And your high top chucks.

It's a nice look, it's a good look. Thanks mate. It's very well coordinated. It's a good look. Thanks, mate. It's very well coordinated. You've got the blacks and the greens, and you've gone for a very limited palette, and I like it. I like it a lot. I want to blend. Yeah, you want to, yeah, yeah.

But at the same time, you want to stand out, so I'm thinking like some big circular round sunglasses. Do you have feature sunglasses to wear to the festival? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, you do, yeah. I was thinking either this outfit or just like nothing with some pasties on my nipples. You know those girls that can pull that off? Yeah.

How do they pull it off? I don't get it. You can pull it off. No way. Are you talking like full topless? Yeah, like full topless and then they've got literally the pasties on the nipples. Yeah, and do they do the glitter over the boobies as well? Yes.

Glitter boobs? Yeah. You can pull that off, man. I believe in you. When I was 22, maybe, but my boobs sit in a different position these days. Like, that shit is real. That shit, no joke. Like, have you ever watched The Sweetest Thing, where Cameron Diaz is like 29, 21,

or whatever she says? That shit, no joke, is real. I realise how much my boobs, well, probably around 26, I reckon. Right. I just want to say, as a feminist, I believe. As a feminist. And you're right to go topless wherever you like. One day it'll happen.

Here's the podcast. You have a great time at Laneway. Thank you, mate. I'm going home to recover from the stag do. Have a great weekend, everyone. See ya. Good afternoon, New Zealand. Hello, New Zealand.

Or at least... Apart from Auckland. Yeah, two-thirds of you that are at work today and... Why does Auckland get a holiday? Everyone gets a holiday. It's just on different days. Oh. I don't know why we don't all have our same anniversary day on the same day. Oh, actually, no, I do know why.

Why? Because we have different anniversaries. I guess that's why. What is it an anniversary of, by the way? Is it... Like, what are we commemorating? Is it the Queen's birthday again? No. No? Do you know the Queen's birthday weekend Is it the Queen's birthday again? No.

Do you know the Queen's birthday weekend is not the Queen's birthday? No, I know. Yeah. Yeah. Also, Jesus. Is that his birthday? Unsure. Don't know.

I'll let you in on a secret. Behind the scenes today is definitely a sit down show for me today. Today I will be doing the show from the comfort of a chair. I'm in a bad way. You look like you've done about, I don't know, four triathlons. I feel like I've done four triathlons. But you've just been to a Bucks weekend. So you do the math on that New Zealand. Two day stag do. No. What happened on the stag do? We don't know. No. Excuse. No. Look, I've just got a very sore pelvis. Oh, that doesn't stop at all.

Either way, look. Hey, you said it, mate. What goes on the stag do stays on the stag do except for the injuries. Except for the sore pelvis. Hey, next, we want to talk to someone who is a flat earther, okay? Are you willing to come on the radio and say publicly that you're a flat earther?

We might not get anyone, and to be honest, you don't need to call just yet. We'll give the details of why we want a flat earther next. But first, here's Ariana Grande. This is Breathin, Bree and Clint, ZM. Bree and Clint. It's going to piss some people off if you believe in the odd conspiracy theory.

YouTube have announced that they will no longer be suggesting videos to people that contain conspiracy theories like 9-11 being a hoax, the moon landing being fake, and flat earth. Really? They've taken all of those off the table? Yeah, so they won't ban the videos and they won't stop you uploading them, but they will no longer promote them as something you might be interested in. You know when a video finishes and then you get the grid of all the other ones that are kind of linked to it?

They're not going to push those forward anymore. Interesting. They've said that it promotes dangerous beliefs or something like that. Okay. But if you believe it, I mean... You believe it? Then you believe it. I do find...

It's interesting to find out when someone is a flat earther. 100%. Because it's just unusual. Like, you don't hear that often where someone... Like, was it... Who are the famous people? There's a certain few famous people that have come out and said that they're flat earthers.

Really? Yeah. Oh, yes. There's some NBA players who believe that the earth is flat. And by the way, this is what I understand about people who are flat earthers. Yes. They believe that it is a government conspiracy and that the earth is a disk. It's completely flat.

And NASA patrol the borders and that's why no one sails off the edge. When you get to the edge, NASA turns you around and sends you back. Right. That's what I understand the conspiracy to be. Do you want to hear a few famous people who are flat earthers? Mm-hmm. B.O.B.? Okay, yeah.

Flat earther? Yeah. Okay, well, this one's a bit... Teela Tequila? Okay, yeah. I mean... Remember Teela? Teela Tequila.

I thought she was of sound body and mind. Remember Teela Tequila. Okay, yeah. Teela Tequila. I thought she was of sound body and mind. Remember Teela? And I think Kiri Irving, the basketball player. Kyrie Irving. He's like, he was born in Aussie and then plays for the Cavs.

Just like when you find out someone's a Scientologist. You know? No judgement. Really? A little bit of judgement. You know? No judgment. Really? A little bit of judgment. No, no, no. Okay, yeah, no judgment because I wouldn't mind hearing from one.

I wouldn't mind hearing from someone who's a flat earther this afternoon. Are you a legit flat earther? We won't make fun of your beliefs. I mean, I'm not going to ask you to call and then laugh at you. I'm just really seriously interested in why you believe the earth is flat. I'd like to know how they got there.

Yeah. You know, what made them change their mind or what made them go down that path to believe that. And what do you see as concrete proof? Okay. Like, what made you believe that the earth was flat? We might not get anyone here. Like, we've just just like, people don't

like to have their belief systems ridiculed. I understand that. But I would be seriously interested. And are you pissed off that YouTube's gonna pull your videos? That no one's gonna get to see the videos anymore? Safe place right now. 0800 dial ZM. Are you a legit flat earther?

We wanna talk to you. We'll see what we get. Free and Clint. We put a call out just before to see if a flat earther? We want to talk to you. We'll see what we get. Free and Clint. We put a call out just before to see if a flat earther would give the show a call, and nobody called, which is fine. I kind of didn't expect that we would get anybody. The news is that YouTube are no longer going to promote videos of conspiracy theories like flat earthing because they said that that opinion is damaging. So we just wanted to know from someone,

why do you think the earth is flat? And do you think people should know about it? Do you think you should get to see it? Interesting to hear those people's thoughts and views on stuff like that. I've just been doing a little bit of research and one of the main reasons they believe the earth is not flat is because when you look at the horizon,

it doesn't have a curve in it. They said, how can the earth is not flat is because when you look at the horizon, it doesn't have a curve in it. They said, how can the earth be curved if I look at the view and I can't see a curve in it anywhere? They say if you're in an aeroplane, you should be high enough to be able to see the curvature of the earth. So, yeah. We've got a couple of calls through, actually. Is Isaac someone that we want to talk to?

Do we want to? No. That's it. That's it. No on the calls. We'll just leave that one there. But if you are a flat earther, maybe you're going to have to start distributing your videos on DVD because YouTube is going to help you get out there.

Blu-ray is the way of the future. Blu-ray. That's what you want to do. Alright. Up next, I want to tell you about the latest diet that could be the last diet you ever take. What, in like a grim way? In a good way. Oh, okay.

You wouldn't believe it, but I was doing some reading this morning. What were you reading? Oh, you know, just stuff. I'm a reader. The internet. I'm a reader now. What was the last book you read? I've never read a book. You've never read a book?

Well, I kind of half read To Kill a Mockingbird in grade 10. Oh yeah? But I just watched the movie. Oh yeah, I was guilty of that too. Yeah. Because you've got to write an essay on it. That's so boring. Why can't we read Harry Potter or, you know, The Hunger Games in high school? Something good. I learned a great trick at high school. If you're a

bad reader, because some people just are, and that shouldn't prevent you from passing. I'm a bad reader. Get the audio book from the library or these days get it from iTunes and listen to the book. Brilliant. It's like a podcast. Yep. Yeah. Probably wouldn't listen. Well, I passed the exam. I had

to do weathering. I don't know how I passed but I did. Yeah. And look at us now. I assume you weren't reading a book this morning though. No, I was reading some internet stuff and I came across this article that was talking about a new diet. Oh yeah. Which I'm always interested in the new fads

in the diets. I mean, what's the biggest one at the moment? Keto. The keto diet. Everyone's all about keto. Going into the ketosis. I'm in ketosis, babes. Ketosis. Big. It's huge, isn't it? My body is constantly burning fat. Even when I'm eating, my body is now burning fat because I'm running ketosis. Which essentially, it's huge isn't it My body is constantly burning fat Even when I'm eating my body is now burning fat Because I'm running ketosis

Which essentially it's where you just stop eating carbs That's what it is Your body starts burning fat Instead of carbs And that's what all these diets are They're kind of like a fad And they focus on one thing And they put everyone in the same box

Even the biggest diet only lasts for about two years look at paleo yep look at atkins diet it's gone it's yeah this might be the diet to end all other diets okay it's called the dna diet and essentially to be honest this is something that i could probably get on board with because it's got science involved. Okay. And I always believed that we're all different, right? All of us as humans are very different. So like when you drink coffee, it does something certain to your body.

But then when I drink coffee, it does something different to me. Yeah. And essentially this diet works on the fact of everyone is different and different things work for different people. Okay. So they take a swab in your mouth, like it's full on. They'll take a DNA swab of saliva from your mouth. Yeah.

And then they figure out certain things that affect your body in different ways. So like the food that you should be eating, the exercise that will work best for your body type and all this different type of stuff. Really? I think that's fascinating. Totally is.

Because obviously it works because certain exercise would be better for certain type of people and then other exercises would work better for others. Well, we don't know if their DNA screening process works, but the idea behind it is sound going, okay, this is who you are and this is the exercises you have to do.

But what if you did it? What if you did it and it came back and it said, this is who you are and this is the exercises you have to do but what if you did it what if you did it and it came back and it said this is your body type if you want to be fit you have to eat nothing but vegetables and you need to run 5k's a day if you do that you'll be ultra fit

you'll be the size you want to be and you won't have any health problems I mean how accurate is science anyway? Bree and Clint. Tudor, Tudor. Spud.com.au. Dean's in. Dean McCarthy, he's live in LA.

He's our favourite reporter in LA. What's happening, Dean? How was the weekend? Hello, guys. Fabulous weekend in LA. Do you know what, though? This weekend was pretty monumental for Hollywood because it was the Sundance Film Festival. Now, this is a big deal.

This is a festival, a film festival. A film festival. Dean, our main question, though, is, is it a festival? Do they show films? Yes, they do. They do. But look, it's an interesting festival. It gets a lot of praise because a lot of things are revealed at this festival.

And today, the first time the Michael Jackson Leaving Neverland documentary aired. Now, you've heard about it. There's been drama. There were protesters. And when the two men in the documentary actually came out and did a Q&A at the end of the film, they walked onto the stage. They got a standing ovation from the crowd. Michael Jackson and the stage have come out saying

that this is an absolute assassination of character. They're full of lies. But the creepiest thing of all, the two guys said that Macaulay Culpin was in on it all along and that he was Michael's favourite. Whoa, really? See, this is huge. And off the back of the R. Kelly stuff that has just come out as well,

well, it's been coming out for years but has really hit home in the last couple of months, this is massive. We talked to our producer, Ben, who loves Michael Jackson, and just the shock on his face that this sort of thing could be real is massive, right? We're all in, yeah. We're all in shock. What's also kind of dark as well are the two accusers.

Their parents were involved. They're all in the documentary. But let me say this, though. This is interesting. The estate also came out saying, notice they did not have any other people in the documentary that were also close friends of Michael's. They are saying that it was a skewed, warped documentary,

a one-sided type thing where they all kind of colluded together. So, yeah, it's going to be everywhere. So it'll be coming. You'll be able to see it pretty soon. Yeah, okay. All right. That's very hard. Yeah, it's huge news in Hollywood at the moment.

Margot Robbie, the Aussie. What's her next movie that she's going to be in, Dean? Look, I love me some Margot Robbie. You would remember her from The Wolf of Wall Street and she was in Focus with Will Smith. She is going to be playing Barbie in the very first ever live action Barbie movie. Strangely, it was originally given to Anne Hathaway. Really?

I can't see. Yeah, I can't see. Then it was Amy Schumer was in talks for it, but it has finally gone to Margot Robbie. It was announced today on Twitter, actually. One of the executives at Warner Brothers, they've partnered with Mattel, of course. It's an official film.

And Margot Robbie is going to be playing Barbie, which I think is really, really awesome. She's an extremely talented actor. So stay tuned. Maybe I can play Ken. Maybe you would make a fantastic Ken. If you want to know what Dean McCarthy, our Hollywood reporter, looks like, you can go to his Instagram, at Mr. Dean McCarthy.

But he looks like the male version of Barbie. Yeah, he looks like Ken. Yeah, and you get to meet Margot Robbie. That's great news. All right, well, good. Imagine if Dean and Margot Robbie had a baby. That'd be a hot kid. I don't think Margot is. That's great news. All right, well, good. Imagine if Dean and Margot Robbie had a baby. That'd be a hot kid. I don't think Margot is Dean's type.

True, but you know, there's always surrogates. Dean McCarthy, live on the ground in Hollywood. Thank you so much, man. Good to talk to you. We love you. Bye, guys. Bree and Clint. It's some people's dream to meet a celebrity and get a photo.

It's other people's dream to get absolutely roasted by that celebrity. You know what I mean? I know the celebrity you're talking about. When it comes to Gordon Ramsay, I don't think you want a photo. You want a taste of this, right? Overcooked on the bottom. Crispy as ****. And it looks like Gandhi's flip-flop.

What a shame. Who the **** are you to turn around and tell me when you were like a pig? You French pig! Your opportunity, New Zealand, is now. Oh, man. The chef from Hell's Kitchen, Gordon Ramsay himself, is in the country. He was riding a Lime scooter in Auckland the other day. Yes.

Now he's in Stewart Island, and he caught a flight with one of our very own, quite young, pilots, Joel. Good afternoon, Joel. Hello, Joel. Good afternoon, Joel. Hello, Joel. How you doing, guys? Now, you met the man himself, didn't you? He was in your plane when? Yesterday, yesterday morning, we flew down from Monaco to Stewart Island. I've got some audio here of him that went up on his Instagram to over 5 million people,

where he, is he having a go let's have a listen to him with you landed in Sture Islands captain Joel there he is yeah 16 16 how old are you now? 22 promise me I do swear to God I swear to God my birthday is the 31st March 2016

that was a bumpy flight well done bud that is so cool so good That was a bumpy flight. Well done, bud. That is so cool. So good. What was that like when Gordon Ramsay starts putting you on his Instagram? Did you get nervous? Oh, well, I didn't actually know I was going to get on his Instagram. I knew I started recording and I sort of was there. You know, half an hour later, got a message,

tuck your shirt in because my shirt was untucked. I said, what do you mean? He said, look at Gordon Ramsay's Instagram. Sure enough, I was on there. Did you have food about that you wanted to get him to rate? Because that's like a thing, right? People love to get Gordon Ramsay to rate their lunch. Did you have a thought that he could rate your lunch?

Oh, I thought about maybe getting a couple of good old Southland cheese rolls to him. But, I mean, I didn't really have the time in the morning and all that sort of stuff. It was all pretty early. But, yeah, it did cross my mind, though. You do look quite young. And how long have you been flying for? I've been flying for about five years now. Okay.

All right. So it's all legit? It wasn't like someone called in sick and they got you to jump in the pilot seat or anything like that? Not quite, no. Okay. And finally, what's he really like? Like, in person, what's Gordon Ramsay like to deal with?

He's actually really down to earth, really nice guy. I mean, sure, he's got the old F-bomb here and there and everything. I felt it was a lot harder than to really on the way down. But no, really nice guy. He was just, to be honest, a thunder to our country. So really proud to say that I'm in Zealand

and can fly cool names around our beautiful country. Did any part of you, Joel, just want to wind him up just so you could get, like, the absolute roasting? Oh, I kind of, looking back on it now, I wanted to give a couple of pieces of bread. It's got Gordon, you're an idiot sandwich. I think probably safe that you didn't do that. But hey, Joel, well done, mate.

Good to talk to you. I hope you get to download that video and keep it on file for a while because that is very cool. Cheers. Today is Auckland Anniversary Weekend, which isn't exclusive to Auckland. It is a public holiday for Auckland, Northland, Waikato, Bay of Plenty and Gisborne regions, as well as some parts of the Manawatu, Whanganui and Hawke's Bay regions. So why is it just called Auckland Anniversary? I don't know.

I don't know. Well, I think they just call it Anniversary Day. Everywhere else, they just exclude the Auckland bit because I think a lot of those places would be pissed off if they knew they had to share a holiday with bloody Auckland. Bloody Auckland. I tell you what.

Aucklanders. Latte drinking. BMW driving. They're so damn good, don't they? Fuel tax paying Aucklanders. Bloody Aucklanders. Get all the concerts. Bloody Aucklanders.

Don't they get everything? Live in your million dollar house, Aucklanders. Harbour Bridge, heaven. No tolls. America's Cup racing. Rugby World Cup final playing. They've got one of the best rugby teams. Oh no, they don't.

We today, and we're having a bit of a laugh. We're just having a bit of a laugh, guys. Come on, it's just a bit of a laugh. We have a very unique opportunity, New Zealand. Auckland is not listening. They're on holiday. They're at home. They're at their batches in the Coromandel.

They're probably, I was going to say they're camping, but we all know Aucklanders. They'll be camping. No, they don't camp. No. They glam. They glam. That's what they do.

They're glamping. They're glamping. Either that or they're at laneway or they're stuck in traffic. Yep. Okay? Which in that case, they're probably listening. 0800 dial ZM. But they can't ring and drive.

True. They can't. No. true no oh 800 dials this is what we're gonna do today only this is a one-time offer what do you want to say about aucklanders behind their back that's it they'll never hear it do you want to make fun of them for something are you angry about something are you fed up Do you want to spill the tea, so to speak? What pisses you off about bloody Aucklanders? Okay? I mean, we live here.

I actually quite like the place. But, but, maybe you don't. And if you don't, you have a right to say what you think about Aucklanders on the radio. This may be the saltiest segment we ever do, but that's fine. It's a special occasion. What do you want to say about Aucklanders on Auckland Anniversary Day? We won't tell them. You can text us too on 9696 or call right now, 0800-DIAL-ZM.

Free in Clint. Auckland Anniversary Weekend. Oh, Aucklanders. It's easy to hate on Auckland. They've got everything. Stop buying up all the Range Rovers and, you know, the fancy apartments. We're sick of it. Why Hickey Island?

Not even part of Auckland. It's its own island. Stop claiming why Hickey is your own. It's not yours, Auckland. We understand, New Zealand, especially Cantabs, that Auckland can get on your tits a little bit. It can really peeve you off sometimes. You know, it seems like they get everything.

Even though we're from Auckland and it's pretty great. Let's just talk about all the bad stuff. Yeah. Even though I moved to Auckland about 10 years ago and actually I really enjoy it here. That's not the point, okay? We have a unique opportunity today where Auckland is not listening. They're on holiday. So what do you want to say about Auckland?

What really gets your goat about Aucklanders? Hey, AJ. G'day, mate. G'day, mate. Hello, mate. With a greeting like that, there is no way you are from the City of Sales. Is that correct? I'm from Tauranga originally.

And I actually moved to Auckland and they're very, I'd say, unfriendly. Like back home when I left, you'd walk down the street and people would sort of like say hi to you and like talk to you. But in Auckland, everyone seems to be sort of looking down at their phones and trying to avoid eye contact. So you're saying they're snobs? Yeah. Are you saying they're snobs? So you're saying they're snobs, AJ? A little bit, mate.

I mean, there's nice people here, obviously, that have come from outside of Auckland. Matt, all I'm hearing is AJ thinks Auckland is a bunch of snobs. You know what they'll be doing on their phones too? Taking pictures of their lattes to put them on Instagram. Ugh, Aucklanders. I love this text. It says, I'm 33 and I own my own home with three acres of land

for less than the price of a crappy Auckland apartment. People get really done up about that, don't they? It is crazy in Auckland. It is extremely expensive. How much it costs to buy somewhere. Oh, $800. ZM, Brandon, they are not listening today. What do you want to say about Aucklanders?

They all need to learn to drive. You think because they're in traffic more than other places in New Zealand, Brandon, they'd know how to drive by now. Oh, exactly. Well, I guess if they learnt how to drive, there wouldn't be that much congestion, you know? There's a text message here.

It says, I'm from Wyndham, right down the bottom of the South Auckland, South Island, and I had to go to Auckland for an appointment and I was astounded by the amount of people out during the middle of the day and not working. That's the other thing Aucklanders do, eh? They're not...

Why are they all at the shopping centre? Why are they all there? One more. On 0800 dial ZM. Good afternoon. Hello. Hello. And I've hung up.

Cool. I'm going to be honest with you. I love hung up. Cool. I'm going to be honest with you. I love this text. It says, if it's so expensive, busy, petrol too expensive, rental market too hard, et cetera, et cetera, insert your whinge here, then for God's sake, just bloody move out of Auckland. That is a very good point.

And to be honest, it's a beautiful day here in the City of Sales, and I'm really looking forward to getting out there this afternoon Yeah, me too It's time to give away some cash Right now at Lone Star You can win a trip to Nashville And Cabo St. Lucas Thanks to Lone Star and Corona

Great prize That's huge All you have to do is scan your Lone Star loyal app and purchase anything until the end of February and you're in the draw. To celebrate, we're going to give away some cash with a game called Beat the Bull. People might say they recognise this game

as a very popular radio game called Beat the Bomb, but no. No. This one has a bull. This one has a bull. So it makes it different. Brand new game. Rebecca, how are you?

I'm good, thank you. Do you understand how this game works? Yep. I do, I do. Just for everybody else, to get you in the spirit, Bree's going to explain it. Cool. Yep, no, I am.

Okay, Beck, essentially you're going to hear when the cowboy jumps on the bull and you're just going to have to pick how long the rider can hold on for. Okay. It's going to give you the money amounts as it goes up and how long he holds on for. You just have to jump off before he gets thrown off. Okay, sweet as. Just say stop when you want us to stop, all right?

The longer you're on, the more the money. Here we go. Beat the bull. The ride of cowboy. Three, two, one. 150. Yeah! 180.

210. 250. Yeah! Stop. Stop, stop. Oh! Hey, 250. Was it 250? I think it was 250. Oh! Hey, $250. Was it $250?

I think it was $250. $250? Let's say $250. Let's say it's $250. $250 back, you're going home with $250. Yay! Would you like to know how much the money would have gone up to? Yeah, go on.

Okay. Let's see. Doesn't matter now. You're all sorted. We're sending you that $250 thanks to Lone Star. This is where you could have got to. $275. $275. Yeah!

$280. $360. Yeah, you're right, Apple. Whoa! $365. Oh, come on. No. Oh.

Is he off? $395. Oh. Is he off? 395. No, he's still going. It's an angry bull. 400. He's off. There you go. Could have been $400, but you didn't know.

$250 that you didn't have, Bec. I'm still laughing to the bank. You are laughing to the bank, Bec. Well done, mate. We'll get that cash in your account ASAP thanks to Lone Star. Yay, thank you. There you go. If you win this prize, you'll also get another four days in Cabo St. Lucas

and $1,000 spending money thanks to Corona and Lone Star Loyal. We'll play this game again on the show tomorrow. Every day this week. Every day this week. Money, money, money. This is a good game. I reckon this is going to catch on. I think this is probably a really good radio game that's

going to take off. Bree and Clint. Bree and Clint. Come back heroes. Alright. We have one person to call to save your life. Who's it going to be? You have to pick someone out of your phone book.

You need to trust that that person will call you back within 30 seconds. But they don't know that they're playing a game with your life. They don't know it's a fake life and death situation. No, they don't. You should tell someone that you're actually about to die. Like, really take the pressure off. Well, they'd definitely call me back then. And then see if they wait 30 seconds. See if they delay the call.

You have to call back in exactly 30 seconds. Who are you putting your life in the hands of this week? I think I'm going to call fellow Zed-Emmer, Cam Mansell from the Snapchat. Oh, he'll absolutely call you back. He loves you. We do have a good friendship. Cam Mansell put up a post about Bree the other day on his Instagram. One of those posts that goes, sometimes someone comes into your life that is so special

that it makes you wonder how you ever did life without them. No, it's lovely. I'm just saying save that kind of post for someone like a bit more important. I am. Maybe I am important to him. Maybe you are. Let's call him and find out. All right.

He's got 30 seconds to call me back. All right. Here we go. Hi, Ahon. Hiya, Han. Hi, Cam. How are you? Good. Oh, my God, I have the biggest news to tell you.

Oh, wait. Oh, my God. Hold on, wait. Call me back in 30 seconds. I'll tell you. Call me back. Call me back. Oh, no.

30 seconds. Okay, so you've hung up? I've hung up. Cool. Oh, no. Oh, no. He'll call back because he will... He'll be itching to know. That tease you put on there, 20 seconds.

Oh no, come on, Cam. Is too juicy to miss out on. It did sound like he was having a few drinks for Laneway. If he doesn't call you back... 10 seconds. Oh no. In time, tell him he's not allowed to get no other news. Come on, Cam. Come on, Cam. How many seconds? 3, 2, no. In time, tell him he's not allowed to get to know the news. Come on, Cam.

Come on, Cam. How many seconds? Three, two, one. No. No. Oh. I can't believe he didn't call me back. I can't believe that either.

I thought he was a dead set. He sounded like he was keen to know the goss. Yeah. You sure your phone's not on mute? No, it's definitely on. And he's just not calling you back. It's because he's on the lemonade. He's lost his perception of time. Oh well, no points

to me. Okay, well, there you go. That's your first loss. Bree and Clint's Comeback Heroes Comeback Heroes Bree and Clint Call back heroes. Bree and Clint. I, today, am in an absolute world of pain.

You've seen me, and I walked in today, you go, oh God, why are you limping? It looks like you've been to CrossFit, or you've had like a real big exercise health weekend. Do you know what it feels like? It feels like I've been riding a really big horse for about 48 hours. I bet you have. No, no. I, on the weekend, had a stag do for one of my best friends. And I'm one of his groomsmen, and it fell on me to organize a stag do, which is a big responsibility.

And I took it very seriously. And I think I've spent the last 48 hours playing dad, party dad to 18 drunken men. My favourite part is you walk into the office today and you're limping and you look like you've had a real rough weekend. Anyone would have thought, oh, that weekend got crazy. And I said, oh, what happened? Did you ride a mechanical bull or what went on?

And you were like, oh, I had the house we were in had a lot of stairs and I had to walk up and down them a heap of times. I also. Crazy weekend. Excuse me. I also played cricket. Oh, look out. And I had to walk to the cricket field, which was down a very big hill,

and I had to carry a chili bin full of beer. I love that that's the reason. The chili bin was on wheels, but still, I had to drag it. Okay, I had to drag it. You and your friends, crazy times. You know what the biggest injury, this is the problem, once you hit 30, any kind of physical activity, you're laid out for the rest of the week.

You know what the biggest injury from the stag do is for me, though? What? I've come back with a rash. Oh, no, I can see it. I've come back with half of my face has what I'm calling stag rash. There's a rash all over one. Oh, there's a few. There's a few.

I'm calling them bites. I don't know what it is. I've got no idea what it is. It comes, it starts like in the middle of my forehead and it goes down around my eye and comes over my cheek. It's also starting to come up on my neck. And I don't know what it is. Well, there's one place that I know your face would have been at a stag do, but it shouldn't have been.

No, it wasn't. No. Excuse me. I've got pink eye, and for the life of me, I cannot tell what I've done. I'm actually, I've got a doctorate In um I went to Polytech Do you really?

Yeah as far as I can see That is a motorboat rash No it's not a motorboat rash Okay well I've done some googling I've done some googling And I have a few ideas As to what it could be Okay cool yeah

Lay them on me So Always This is good advice for anybody too Anytime there's anything wrong with you Go to google Yeah Go to google

Don't go to a doctor That's stupid Yeah waste of money just go to google i need to know from you are they itchy um no the ones on my neck yes they are okay which they look like a different type of uh bite to me okay um which i'm thinking you've been maybe bitten by a few things okay um it could be psoriasis no it's not flaky okay so that's out psoriasis is out psoriasis. No, it's not flaky. Okay. So that's out. Psoriasis is out. Psoriasis is just dry skin, right? Yeah. Dandruff. It can be a rash.

Yeah. It could be hives. Oh, yeah. Did you get nervous at all on the weekend? No, I didn't get nervous. Very stressful. Stressful? Very stressful.

Yeah. Hives are caused by stress. Especially when your name is the one on the bond. Yes. And your credit card is associated to the house. It could be hives. Very stressful. Yeah, okay. are caused by stress. Especially when your name is the one on the bond. Yes. And your credit card is associated to the house. It could be hives. Very, yeah, okay. Could be hives.

Another thing I did look up, which you struggle with a lot being a Kiwi. Yeah. And it was quite hot this weekend. Yeah. It could be heat rash. No, it's okay. Could be heat rash. It could be.

You know what? It could be heat rash. It could be. Yeah. We hit high 20s. You got heat stroke when it was 23 degrees. If it's not gone by tomorrow, I'm going to a real doctor. But for now.

But for now, let's just say I think it's bed bugs. Better than what I thought you were going to say. We have an idea. So we launched our name Officially for our DJ duo last week The Hot Mess Express A big gig is happening in Auckland today Called Laneway Festival

A lot of alternative bands It's very cool It's one of those ones where you don't really know That many people on the line up But you've got to pretend you do Because you don't want to be the one who doesn't know Who the band is, right? For example, I'm going later tonight.

I know one band. And that is? Florence and the Machine. It's okay. We can use this. Yes. We need to bring in Ross Boss for this idea. Good afternoon, Ross Boss.

Hello, Ross Boss. Hi, guys. We want you to stitch up Briony, who's one of the junior announcers here at ZM's. You might hear her on the weekend. Yes. She's just come off her internship, so she's still very fresh. If the boss tells her to jump, she's going to jump, right? She's got to do it.

We know for a fact, Ross, she is going to Laneway this afternoon, and we thought it'd be a great idea where you as the big boss could call her up and say, there's some big interviews that have come through at the last minute. Can she step up and do them? Cool, she's going to shut bricks. We want you to ask her to interview, live at Laneway, Florence and the Machine, and the Hot Mess Express.

Let's see if she's even heard of our brand new DJ duo that's never played before, ever. Hello, Briony speaking. Briony Ross, how are you? Who's this? It's Ross. What's up? Are you, um, you're going to Laneway, eh?

Yeah. We, um, we've got some last minute interviews and I can't get anyone to do them. Can you do a couple of interviews later on tonight? We'll be lucky that last thing's about nine-ish. Yeah. Who do you want me to interview? So there's a Florence one just before she goes on stage Yeah So I think that'll be about nine just side of stage

I only give you two minutes But just take your phone and get some good stuff And then There's a new one, we've tried to put them for float So one I need you to get some Some drops for that, but also just check that they're actually good.

The Hot Mess Express, apparently they're paying at like $10 or $10.30 or something. The Hot Mess Express. Yeah. I'm not sure what stage they're in, but their manager, apparently a really connected manager, was, I don't know who else, other people over in the States. So they were going to be there,

so it needs to be on your own game. Okay. Is there anything you want? Can you send me questions to ask? Oh, you'll figure it out. Are you a fan of Florence? Yeah, but like what the fuck? I'm wasted.

I'm going to need a side wrap for this. It's freaking me out. Yeah, you're probably going to have to pull it together. But I'll sort your details. Okay, thank you Thanks, Bri Bye Oh my god She didn't even flinch

Okay This is the power I hold in this industry The gravitas I have What time? I'm in I'll stop drinking Is that what she said? Yeah, well she's definitely not going to do that

But that's what she's telling the boss We're going to call her back right now And Bri, you're going to reveal to her who the hot mess express is. Just tell her you're a member of the group, and tell her you're ready to receive the interview. Hello?

Bryony. Hi, it's Bree. Yeah, I just talked to Ross. Apparently you're interviewing Florence and then you got one of the biggest interviews of the year, the Hot Mess Express. That's crazy. I'm not f***ing Kane on that.

Hey, I've got one of the members. I've got one of the members from the Hot Mess Express here, actually. Clint, it's Bryony on the phone. Are you f***ing kidding me? I wish I could cry. Bryony, Bryony, we're a serious musical act, okay? That's our day duo. Don't talk to me.

I hate you all. Do you know how much I freak the f*** out? Hey, enjoy the festival, mate, okay? Also, just to lock it in, you can do the interview at 10 with the Hot Mess Express. I was like, who the f*** is the Hot Mess Express? There's not even a f***ing band. But I was like, look, Russell.

Okay, alright, you're not safe for the radio. We're going to let you go. See you later. Why is this always happening to me? Bye! Let's do Birthday Banger. Free and Clint's Birthday Banger. Right, this is where we take your birthdays and we figure out what's top of the charts on your actual 16th birthdays.

Yeah, we go back in time. Good afternoon, Todd. Hello, Todd. Hello. What's your birthday, Todd? July 3, 1985. Okay, Todd, you were 16 in 2001 on the 3rd of July, and on that day, this was number one.

This is a red-pick anthem. Uncle Cracker, follow me. How do you feel about that? I feel old, but I don't know. A good tune, nonetheless. A good tune, nonetheless. A good tune. Hard to beat too.

Hi, Sarah. Hi, Sarah. Hello. What's your birthday? 13th of March, 1988. Okay, Sarah, you were 16 in 2004 on the 13th of March, and this is your birthday banger. What I said is on me now.

Oh, he only had one song, but it was great. You get effort. Yay. Yeah. How awkward that he had a number one song, and then his ex-girlfriend that he wrote that song about then had a number one song straight after him. Yeah, saying, if you write back.

Yeah. That's a weird time, eh? Literally the most public breakup ever. I actually quite keen to hear that song today. So, Sarah, you're in with a chance of winning birthday banger. Finally, Alexis. Hello. Hi.

What's your birthday? 28th of February, 1987. Okay, Alexis, you were 16 in 2003 on the 28th of Feb. And back on that day, this was top of the charts. J-Lo and that guy from Lip Sync Battle. LL Cool J. Also known as LL Cool J. Also known as roll up one leg of your pants guy.

Vintage J-Lo. How do you feel about this? I don't mind that. I like it. Okay, you and me have got a tough decision to make. I like them all. I like them all. I could easily play all three of these.

Uncle Cracker, Amon, which we can't say. It's F-It. F-It. F-It. Or JLo and LL Cool J. I got to go with my gut.

I know that you want to hear Aim On, which we might be at a stalemate. I want to hear Uncle Cracker. No, you know what? For a day like today, I hope it's stunning where you are as well because today is a beers and the sun day. It's a ripping day. And you might be stuck in traffic coming back from your long weekend as well. This is the right choice. Uncle Cracker?

Yeah, let's do it. The winner is you, Todd. Congrats, you're playing your birthday banger. Yeah, Todd. Yay, thank you. ZM, Brie and Clint. You don't know how you met me, you don't know. Brie and Clint.

I do love the weird articles, and this article caught my attention as it talks about weird things that were found inside Americans' orifices in 2018. All right. Is this one all right for the radio? Let's talk about it in a medical way. Oh, okay. We don't have to talk about how they got there or any of that back-end stuff.

Don't speculate on the reasons. No. But we can talk about some of the objects that were found inside human orifices. Yeah, sure. They could have been accidents. They could have slipped. Yeah, absolutely. They could have slipped.

It happens a lot. People slip and land on something. Yeah. You know? Cool. These were actual things and it's done by an emergency room because that's where these people go. That's where you have to go.

Yeah. It's where you should go. There's nowhere else to go. It's the most embarrassing place to go, but it's where you should go. Some of the objects found, one was a whole egg. What? Not broken. How on earth?

I don't know, mate. Again, we're not speculating about reason. We're not. But just for a second, for it to get in there without breaking, impressive. Pretty impressive. a second for it to get in there without breaking impressive pretty impressive then for you to get into the car to the a and e and then into surgery without it breaking yeah even more impressive well once it's in yeah is it kind of like you know cushioned well they've got to be up there in a chicken anyway and they don't break up there so maybe eggs are stronger than we think true

well that was found last year um A beer bottle could have slipped. That's definitely, yeah. That would have been like a pool party. Yeah, barbecue, spill some tomato sauce. These things happen. These things happen. What about a deodorant bottle? Oh, you really hope that the lid had been taken off before that went in?

You're hoping so. Sorry, what was that last one? A deodorant bottle. And you're hoping it's not a Lynx Africa. You're hoping it's, you know, like one of the, a Rexona. Perspiration can happen on any part of the body, and there's no reason why that. Also, we don't, we're not speculating about which orifice either.

No. Could have been the mouth. Yes. Yeah. I mean, No. Could have been the mouth. Yes. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Could have had a sweaty mouth. That one's tough. What about a coffee container?

A glass coffee container. I mean, that's just impressive. Isn't it? There's a real opportunity for a new marketing slogan here. Makona Haft Mer. Well, they say coffee makes you go. Doesn't it? What about.

Oh, we're still going. We're still going. I've got two more. A candy cane. This was at the end of last year around Christmas time. No, move on from the candy cane. But my personal favorite. Christmas is sacred. my personal favorite. Christmas is sacred.

My personal favorite, and this story really is alarming. A Buzz Lightyear figurine. The man, it was a man, said that the Buzz Lightyear figurine, the reason it got stuck, and let's just, we're not going to talk about anything else. The reason it got stuck is that once it had entered, the wings accidentally...

To infinity and beyond! Brie and Clint. ZM. Brie and Clint, that's loave and I like me better. That's the end of the show. We are out of here and Brie is off to Laneway Festival.

Oh yeah, Florence and the Machine. Bring it on. You know how I know you're off to Laneway Festival? Why? Because you've got your festival hat on. Yeah. You've got, you call it a fedora. It is not a fedora.

It's a fedora. It's a festival hat. It's a fedora hat. I've been trying real hard to... I've seen you've been trying to rock the fedora. I've been trying to work... It's not a fedora. I've been trying to work the wide Brim Festival hat into my wardrobe.

Do you want some advice? Yeah. You need to go with not so, like, out there colours. It was like, it's tan. Yeah, go with the black to start off with. Really? Is that what it is? And then you build people up to the idea that you're wearing a fedora. And I'll tell you why I want to wear it.

Why? It's not so much the fashion element. It is such a good sun smart hat. It gives you full coverage. It's one step away from that Bunnings hat that that Irish kid was wearing. And I mean, I could pull off the Bunnings hat, but then you're definitely not trying to be stylish. You definitely look like a Bunnings hat kind of guy. Oh, all right.

No, in a nice way. You could pull it off. So you're going to see Florence I'm going to see Florence Who else are you excited to see Um Ah there's um The Hot Mess Express

I heard is playing Nah mate They're a float exclusive To be honest Everyone else that I want to see Is already played You don't know anyone else There's um

You don't know anyone else Playing at the festival There's um The Ring Around the Posies It's okay No one else knows anyone at that festival. Okay, good. That's what you're going for.

You're going for Florence. That's it. And you're going for that Hungarian puffy bread that they serve with the pesto and the feta on it. That's what I'm getting for dinner. Hungarian puffy bread. Langos, I think it's called. That's the real headliner of Laneway every single year. That's the only reason people go.

If you're going, have a great night, everybody. Be safe. Obviously, that's just in Auckland. And if you're around the rest of the country, well, enjoy your Monday night, I guess. See you tomorrow. See you, guys.