ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast - July 16th 2018

Episode Date: July 16, 2018

Is your name going extinct?Survivor NZ chatPsychic Pig - how is she after predicting the FIFA World Cup result?Love Island AU - Josh on the showParking wars Bree's friend nearly misses flight because...Be My Eyes - cool new technologySkipping work Bree's chewing gum errorCrash Course episode 4 is out now at watchme.co.nzSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Turn that light off! Show commencing in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 The baby's crowning and you've got to shoot that 8 pound watermelon out! And we're away, ladies and gentlemen, we are racing! Jazzy, huh? 2, 1, 3, and Clint! Yeah! On CDM

Kia ora, kia ora, kia ora everybody, it's 2 minutes after 4 o'clock, Brie and Clint Or should we say, vive la France! Oui, oui. Oui, oui. I knew that France had won the World Cup this morning because there was a guy, a French guy, with a megaphone on my street yelling it for everyone to hear. We just wanted to let everybody who didn't have Sky Sport know the happy news. I tried to peg a rotten apple at him, but I missed. We knew that they were going to win because of our psychic guinea pig, of course.

I know. I can't believe Frank's, the psychic guinea pig, has predicted the winner of the World Cup last Friday on this very show. Big show today. We have your chance to win $50,000 with ZM's Secret Sound. It's all changed. We're going to talk about that throughout the show, but basically this year,

your chance to create the sound, submit the sound, and if no one can guess the sound, you get to keep the $50,000. So essentially, you are the sound keeper. Yeah, you have the power this time around. That's awesome. Up next, Clint,

I need people right now, if you're listening, if you have one of these 15 names to call 0800-DIAL-ZM right now. Are you ready? Yeah. Gary, Annette, Norman, Elaine, If you have one of these 15 names to call 0800DIALSATM right now. Are you ready? Gary, Annette, Norman, Elaine, Linda, Susan, Ronald, Carol, Jeanette, Nigel, Donna, Barry, Judy, Paula or Stephen, I've got news.

If you have one of those names, call right now 0800DIALSATM. Sounds like you're reading out the cast list from Coronation Street. So I gave out a list of names, 15 names to be exact, just before we went to a song there. Yes. And guess what, Clint? All of those names are on a list of names that are becoming extinct. What do you mean extinct?

So they've done a list of the least popular names to call your baby in 2018. Oh, this is cruel. Yeah. So these names, no one is naming their kid these 15 names. And they're actually saying some of the names are in danger of becoming completely extinct. Because no one's named their baby that for so long. Exactly right. Because you may have a name that was popular in the 1940s,

but if it died out in the 1940s but if it died out in the 1950s yep then it dies literally dies with you so for example gary only 33 babies in the whole of the uk were named gary in 2014. we have a gary here obviously soundkeeper gary yeah can you imagine meeting a baby called gary like don't, yeah, little baby Gary. Little baby Gary. No, I can't picture it. Gary is a man's name. Isn't it?

Yeah. A grown man. Unless the baby comes out with a beard. And a cigarette. And a cigarette, you don't name it Gary. We have people here with the names. Yeah, so I thought we'd give it a test and see. You know, there are obviously still people with these

names. Let's go to caller number one. Hello, Annette. Hi. Are you devastated? No, I'm glad it'll be gone. Oh, even you don't like the name Annette. I hate it. That's hilarious. I hate it. I know protocol not to ask a lady her age, but could you give us a decade

in which you were given the name Annette? Seventies. Late seventies. Yeah. It says here were given the name Annette? 70s. Late 70s. Yeah. It says here on these stats Annette, and you'll be happy to hear this, that the latest stats show that absolutely no one is naming their baby Annette. Legend. I didn't even name my daughter

after me. Wow. Well, that's good. Well, at least you're happy about it. Another one, Paula. Hello, Paula. You're on the list. Your name is on the out. Wow. You're a rare commodity. A what? You're a rare commodity, Paula.

Oh, wow. You're not very common anymore. That's good. I feel like it's suitable for older people. Paula. Yeah. I like the name Paula. Susan. He's also on the list. Yeah. Yeah. I like the name Paula. Susan is also on the list.

Susan. Now, can you imagine a young baby coming out and being called Susan? No, the poor child. I hate my name. It's a horrible name. I'm glad it's extinct. This is not meant to be a list of people who hate their own names, but it's fast becoming a list.

Well, actually, I've never called it anyway. I've been called Susie or Sue all my life. Yeah. Interesting. So you're happy it's on the out, Sue's? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. She was.

She was. She just popped off. Now, this is a name you're not giving a baby. Welcome to the show, Barry. Hello, Baz. Hi. Now, your name, your name, well, it's an iconic name, and it's an iconic Kiwi name.

I mean, Barry Crump, Barry... Barry Gibb from the Bee Gees. From the Bee Gees. It's not a baby name, is it? No. Would you? It's not even an adult name. Do you expect any of your grandchildren to be given the name Barry?

Oh, my grandchildren are all in their 50s. Oh, wow. I actually, yeah, I'm going to name my baby Barry. Yeah, okay. What are you up? Well, if I ever have a baby. Barry, are you happy to see the name Barry go? Oh.

Is it short for anything? No. Yeah, Baraldine. It was just to annoy the in-laws. Yeah, okay. All right, there's another story for another day. Gosh, there is a whole range of, the age range of the ZM listener is vast, isn't it?

I know it is. We just found that out. One more time, the list of names that are being retired, that are becoming extinct. You want to hear them? So these are the names. If you've got this name, it's being extinct. Gary, Annette, Norman, Elaine, Linda, Susan, Ronald, Carol, Jeanette,

Nigel, Donna, Barry, Judy, Paula, Stephen, and also Donald's on there because everyone hates Donald Trump. I know this sound will excite some people, including you, Brie. You're a Survivor fan. I am fizzing for a bit of New Zealand Survivor this season. You actually like the New Zealand one too. I'm obsessed. And hear me out.

I know last season some people were a bit, you know, it wasn't the best, but this season they have nailed it. It's so good. I haven't seen it. I'm on board 100%. And full disclosure, I have never seen an episode of Survivor at all. Any Survivor, ever. Are you joking?

It doesn't appeal to me, I don't think, but that's having never seen it. You've never seen it? But, but, but, but, but, but, but, this is where I think the show gets a bit weird. I read a story today about Survivor New Zealand, and I just want to put it to you. If you, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah? There's no spoilers. No spoilers. Because I haven't seen, actually, wait. Yeah. There's no spoilers. No spoilers.

Because I haven't seen, actually I'm not even going to say that because I just know people will come through on the text. No spoilers. No spoilers, no spoilers, no spoilers. I haven't even seen it. How would I spoil it for you? I haven't seen it.

Yeah, but you could have read something online. I just want to know, is this the sort of thing that is normal on the show Survivor? Okay? Okay. So Survivor New Zealand, Adam, are you familiar with Adam?

Yes, I love him. So I read that in Survivor New Zealand, Adam, are you familiar with Adam? Yes, I love him. So I read that in Survivor so far, he went six days without eating any food because he didn't like the taste of the rice. So he was so sick of rice, the only time Adam will eat is if he wins a challenge. Okay. He went 22 days without doing a number two. 22 days. Whoa. Yeah, that actually

probably is real because all they're eating is rice. Okay, this is the other thing. Then this is the bit. Oh, you'd be so sick. Apparently Adam from Survivor New Zealand

before he went on the show injected his forehead with a stack load of Botox Botox so that no one on the show injected his forehead with a stack load of Botox so that no one on the show could read his expressions so that he could have a better Survivor poker face. Come on. That's amazing. It actually hindered him in one of the challenges where he had to look up and he found it really hard and he was like, my Botox has hindered me.

So is that a tactic? Is that a way to win Survivor? No pooing and filling your face with Botox has hindered me. So is that a tactic? Is that a way to win Survivor? No pooing and filling your face with Botox. I don't think you understand how ruthless it gets. I don't understand. Like the twists and turns and the blind sides, they're called, that have been on this season so far. Do yourself a favour, people.

Go and watch it. If you were doing any other show and the stars of your show hadn't been to the toilet for 22 days, you need to. What do you think Love Island's about? Speaking of Love Island, Josh joins us on the show in 15 minutes time. Josh from Love Island, Australia. But next we need to check in on our psychic pig who predicted the Football World Cup.

The biggest news over the weekend, the World Cup. Our psychic pig predicted the winner. I know, I didn't have any faith in him. But if you missed him, this was him on Friday. Please place our psychic pig back between the flag of Croatia and the flag of France. She's going towards France. Everyone be quiet, be quiet. Oh my God.

It's France! Ladies and gentlemen The winner of the 2018 World Cup Will be France If you made any money Out of the World Cup Based on our

Psychic guinea pig We'd love to hear from you No you owe us money Yeah true That too You owe us 20% I can't believe She predicted the winner

She's two from two Yeah that's true Yeah because we got her To do Love Island as well. Yeah. But we already knew the answer, just to check her psychic abilities. She was amazing. I wonder how much the price of that guinea pig has gone up.

Oh, because we sent her straight back to Bird Barn. Yes, I want to buy her. Yeah, just to reveal, we don't own that pig. In fact, if you want her, you can have her. If you go and get her from Bird Barn, you can have her. Oh, $800 at M if you want Frank's the psychic guinea pig. Do you want to give them a quick call? Yeah, I feel like I want to give them a quick call just to see if they've upped the price of her.

Oh, yeah. Because I don't want them to, you know, exploit her and her psychic ability. Well, I wonder if she's had any visitors, too. Welcome to the Bird Barn pet store. For birds, press 1. No. And for pets, press 2. 2.

Hello, Bird 1. No. And for pets, press 2. 2. Hello, BirdBarn Pet Store. Hi there. I was just wanting to inquire about the psychic guinea pig that I heard predict the winner of the World Cup on ZM's Brian Clint show. Yeah? Her name was Franks. I just wanted to know if she was still available to be purchased.

Oh, my goodness. I don't even know anything about this. I did read an email something about we were going to do a guinea pig thing. Oh, you don't listen to the new drive show, Bree and Clint? No. Oh, okay. No, we listen to the classic or something like that. Oh, okay. Yeah, we listen to like the classic or something like that. Oh, okay.

Yeah, no, I like that station too. Yeah, she predicted the winner of the World Cup and I thought that she'd be pretty sought after and I just wanted to get in quick and see if she was still available. She was white and she had red eyes. What I'm going to do is I'm going to quickly grab your phone number. I'm going to ring the boss. I'm going to ask her which one it was, and then I'm going to ring you back.

Okay, cool. What was your phone number? My phone number is 027. I've just hung up on her. Doesn't sound promising for her. No, you know what it is. What? They've now kept Franks for themselves.

Right. Because it sounded to me like maybe Franks had had an unfortunate accident over the weekend and she was padding for time. That or... Or they just have... Yeah, they've never heard of our show. You didn't tell me, Bree, you'd produced a song to play to the Bird Barn people and then we didn't play it.

I thought we weren't going to play the song. I feel like you've gone to the effort to record it. No, we don't need to. We don't need to play to the bird barn people and then we didn't play it. I thought we weren't going to play the song. I feel like you've gone to the effort to record it. No, we don't need to. We don't need to play it. Why don't we just play it? Well, no, I heard it through the speakers. Probably shouldn't play it. Why don't we just play it and let people hear it

and make up their mind for themselves? This is Bree's special song for the psychic pig. Psychic pig. Psychic pig does whatever a psychic pig does. Can she fly through the air? No, she can't, she's just a pig Well actually she's not even a pig She's a guinea pig

Don't be embarrassed about that, that was a nice song. We're about to get Josh from Love Island Australia on the show. 1-2-1-2 Check, check, check, 1-2-1-2, hello, hello. Hey mate, how you going? Oh, Joshy boy! Hey, we didn't even get to play our special sting. Hang on.

Now we're on. Now we're on. What's happening? What's going on? What's going on with you, mate? You're a free man to roam about Australia and the world as you please again. I'm not shackled anymore. So, no, it's really good to be back home and I'm just enjoying seeing everyone.

It's just been crazy. It'm not shackled anymore. So, no, it's really good to be back home and I'm just enjoying seeing everyone. It's just been crazy. It's been an amazing ride. Sophie Monk is no longer your Kepter. That's it. That's it. Yeah. On the Sophie Monk question, would you? Would I?

Yeah. Would I what? That's the question. Would you date her? Well, there was articles written that I was actually dating her on the show, so I don't know how that would have gone down, but look, she's an amazing girl, so if I was single, I'm going to have to make

the call. I would definitely consider it. Yeah, she's hilarious. She's great. Which brings us to our next question. Are you and Amelia still together? Not only are we still seeing each other, she's actually right next to me in the room next door. Hi, Amelia.

Do you want me to put her on? Yeah, put her on for a sec. Go on, yeah. I want to say hi. Hi, how are you? Hi, Amelia. Amelia, Josh just said that he wants to hook up with Sophie Monk. I heard that.

I was in the other room and I heard and I was like, ah! So we'll ask you the same question, Amelia. Would you? Would I date Sophie Monk? Yeah. Hell yeah. Can we all do it together? Hell yeah, I'm in.

Me, Josh and Sophie. Josh, question for you, mate. Now that you're out and you've been filmed for weeks on end, 24-7 using 69 cameras or something sexy like that, are you concerned that there is a hard drive somewhere with nothing but footage of your wanger on it? Oh, my God. Look, whoever's been watching those cameras and seeing what's sort of going on with me in the villa,

I just shake my head. But it's weird now. Like, sometimes I feel like just setting up a webcam in the corner of my room to help me get to sleep at night because that's what we did for so long. It's so weird. Amelia, are you still listening? No, she's not.

Okay, good. No, no, no, no, no, no. Just you, just you. And take us off speakerphone for this one if you can. All right, I'll walk into the other room. Yeah, good. No, no, no, no, no, no. Just you, just you. And take us off speakerphone for this one if you can. All right, I'll walk into the other room. Yeah, cool. Clint, don't lead him astray. No, no, no, no.

It's just, I just, I want him to be able to answer honestly. Root, shoot, marry. Amelia, Cassidy, Taylor. Ooh. Oh. You've got history with all of them. I would have to marry the beautiful Amelia, obviously, because I want to see where that can go in the future.

I would have to shoot Cassidy and Root Taylor. Shoot Cassidy, Root Taylor. This is Josh from Love Island, Australia. Is it true that you don't mind a conspiracy theory? I love conspiracy theories. I find myself just going down a vortex online All the time, it's crazy I'm going to give you some and you tell me whether The conspiracy theories you believe passionately

Or not, okay? Alright, let's do it Did man land on the moon? Man never landed on the moon, well man has landed on the moon now But first of all, man never landed on the moon Guys, if you look, the flag's Blowing in the wind, answer for you There's no wind on the moon, guys Also, if you look, the flag's blowing in the wind. Answer for you. There's no wind on the moon, guys.

Also, if you speed up when the astronauts on the plane, it looks like they've just been slowed down or sped up. So they're actually just jumping there. I think if you speed it up or slow it down. And how the hell did they get a camera up there back then? It's fake, guys. Mate, if they can get 69

cameras in a villa in Spain, they can get one on the moon. But that's okay. We've got your opinion on that. Were the pyramids built by aliens? 100% the pyramids were built by aliens. They were all pointing into, like, north, south, west, and east. It's crazy. Aliens. Okay.

And last one, is the Earth flat? Look, guys, I think the Earth's flat. I think Neil Armstrong's up to his old tricks again with the moon landing. I think he's spreading the conspiracy. You are not a flat earther. Josh from Love Island, you are not a flat earther. He is.

I'm a flat earther. Josh, I've got one more conspiracy theory. Were Aaron's boobs real? Okay, that one is, they are definitely fake. Yeah, it's proven. Yeah, that one's proven. So you're saying her boobs are a conspiracy? Boobs are a conspiracy theory.

I want to know, Josh, when you're on the show, because we don't see, I mean, we only see bits and pieces. Are you allowed to take yourself to Love Island, so to speak? Am I allowed to take myself to Love Island? What do you mean by that? Like, as in? Oh, look, you definitely can take, you can check yourself into Love Island. The thing when you check yourself into Love Island. What do you mean by that? Like, as in? Oh, look, you definitely can check yourself into Love Island. The thing when you check yourself into Love Island is you're probably

not only going to have cameras looking at you, you're probably going to have a group of 20 or 30 people behind those cameras. So if you can get past that, then by all means, check yourself into Love Island every day if you want. But I couldn't check myself in because I couldn't stand thinking about those 20 or 30 people behind those cameras. Oh, yeah, that's off.

People did check themselves in. People did? People did, for sure. But not you? Not me, not me, not me. Imagine that. You finish as a quick solo session, you pull down the duvet, and there's Dom.

He's like, hey, man. Hey, man, what are you doing? The thing is, when you went into the shower, you could see the cameras turning on you as well. Oh, no. That's creepy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the end, I didn't care, though you went into the shower, you could see the cameras turning on you as well. Oh, no. It's creepy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the end, I didn't care, though.

Josh from Love Island, we appreciate your time, man. Say hi to Amelia for us and congratulations on everything. Thanks, Josh. Thank you very much, guys. Really appreciate the call. So over the weekend, Clint, I found myself inside my car filled with rage on the verge of nearly using my horn oh oh i nearly used it mate are you a horner i'm not i don't like it i'm i'm usually pretty like you know low key in the car

keep my cool i'm a horner you're a horner i'm a horner but then i have some regret after i use it i'm a horn dog because then you're still stuck behind or beside that person you need to avoid eye contact makes it really awkward but so i was on one of the main streets in auckland I use it. I'm a horndog. Because then you're still stuck behind or beside that person and you have to avoid eye contact. It makes it really awkward. So I was on one of the main streets in Auckland, Ponsonby Road. Everyone knows Ponsonby Road. Landy da.

Super fancy area. It's where rich people get their pants. There's heaps of restaurants and it's super busy. And I was driving around for about 20 minutes trying to find a park because I was going for lunch. Oh yeah, notoriously bad. So bad. Anyway, I finally came across this park and I was like,

you beauty right outside the restaurant. I was like, finally, I've done the groundwork for 20 minutes. I'm finally going to get a park. Yeah, congratulations. Next minute, as I've like come around the corner, I could see this girl standing in the car park. And I was like, oh, she better move or i'm gonna hit her and she literally puts her hand up at me and goes no and she mouths the words i'm saving this car park and i looked at her and i went what i was like where's your car

like you can't save a car park if you don't have the car. I know. I know exactly what she's doing. Because my dad used to get us to do this when we were kids. No. He didn't subject you to that? He used to go, you guys go and stand in there. And he'd do a block so he could get back in position.

And then he'd come around and then. No way. And when you're a kid kid when your dad tells you to do it you just think it's legit right you don't know any better yeah and people weren't in the business of a like like getting up and accosting children going get the f out of my park you dumb kid yeah they just they just go oh fine whatever but but now that i'm older what do you think because at the time i was like there is no way I'm backing down from someone standing in the car park. Yeah.

Keeping it for someone else who's not even there. You know, you have one very powerful tool in your arsenal. The horn. No, other than the horn. What? You can just start driving into the car park slowly so that you don't like bounce them off or anything. I don't want to get arrested. Eventually. I like it here in New Zealand.

But eventually they'll move. If you just inch forward bit by bit, eventually you'll be in the park. Eventually you'll be in the park and they'll still be going, no, no. But they're not going to get themselves run over for the sake of a park. Yeah, but I would have had to do a reverse park

and I'm not good at those at the best of times, so it would have been really awkward. You're doing a parallel park, and you're like, can you just guide me in? Can you just tell me how far have I got? Lift hand down. Lift hand down. Yep, cool.

Thank you. I want to know from the people, where do you sit on it? Is it okay? Is it not on? To stand in a car park And reserve it for somebody With your body Yes

I don't think there's a rule But there'll be like An unwritten social Care like a You know Yeah Like you can't go through The McDonald's drive-thru

With no car No So technically You shouldn't be able to Save a car park With your body Without a car 0800 dial ZM

I wanna know Or text us to 9696 From the people Am I in the wrong? You shouldn't be able to save a car park with your body. Without a car. 0800 dial ZM. I want to know. Or text us to 9696. From the people. Am I in the wrong? Or was she in the wrong? Did you jump on the horn? I was so close, mate.

I want to know if you got the park too, but don't tell me just yet. It was a standoff. We were there for a good couple of minutes. Did the other car show up? No. And that's what I was waiting for. Because then it becomes two on one. I know there for a good couple of minutes. Did the other car show up? No. And that's what I was waiting for. Because then it becomes two on one. I know. Then you're outnumbered.

I was so annoyed. There's a lot of people who are also annoyed on the text machine saying, totally not okay. You should have just inched your car in bit by bit, like you said, Clint. There's other people saying, queue jumpers and car park thieves, they're all as bad as each other. 0800 dial ZM. Kia ora.

Aroha. Hi. How do you feel about this? What does it do to you? I'll be honest. I've been in both situations before. It's car park saver and the car saver. Oh, you haven't.

Yep. And the key is confidence. And whoever is the most confident on the day deserves car park. All you had to do in the car. Car immediately has the most confidence because you're in a car. So all you had to do was just back in, and she would have tapped out. She's a hundred. And you gave up.

Yeah, Aroha is a hundred percent right. It's totally a game of confidence. I should have just sat on the horn. It's like when you see a bear in the wild. You've just got to make yourself as big as possible. Whoever is more bold in that stand down is going to win. William, hey, welcome to the show. Hi. hi okay whose side are you on here breeze come on well the human car yeah so i'm just gonna have to sort of put it down to the car park belongs to a

car you know uh you're in the car the car belongs in that car park i I'm from Wellington, so you don't get many rude people like that, but if you're in Auckland, high-paced city, you go on in, like you mentioned, you've spent 20 minutes looking for a park, you've found one. Just the time analysis that, it's worth the fight, and I would do exactly what you're saying, Clint.

I would have nudged in there. Just go in slowly, slowly, slowly. Oh, I was fuming. She knew I was fuming too from some of the hand signals that I was giving her. You didn't use your Mitsubishi battering ram though. What do you reckon, Dave? Who's in the wrong? I'm 100% with you, Brie. I would have just mowed her down.

All right, Dave. We don't encourage that. ZM's Secret Sound. So it's back. Thanks to Save My Bacon. Thanks to Save My Bacon offering Kiwis a safe and reliable place to borrow money. Another $50,000. But the game has changed this time around. It's super different this time because we've always had soundkeeper Gary,

you know, keeping the sound a secret. He has always known what it is. It's always just been him and Ross Boss, I assume, that knew what it was. They're the only people. And now we want to give that power to someone. So you can create our secret sound. You can go around with a microphone, a video camera preferably, record the sound, submit it at ZM Online.

If we choose yours, you will become the soundkeeper for the duration of the secret sound 2018, okay? And then at the end, if no one wins it, you get to keep the $50,000. So the harder you make the sound, the more likely it will be that you'll win the 50 grand. A lot of early commentary is, well, why wouldn't I just tell one of my mates what it is? And then we can share the money. You can't do that because you have to sign a document that sort of guarantees your secrecy.

You know, there are lawyers involved with this one. You can go to jail. No, you actually can. Can you? I think so. Maybe for a day. We don't want to send you to jail, but we do want your secret sound.

I've been thinking about this today. The concept of creating a secret sound because you instantly look at the things around you and the everyday sounds that you have in your life and things that you think are unique and make a good sound but at the same time would be good and secretive i've spent the morning trying to create some secret sounds what you've created your own yeah secret so these are something that you've created yourself yeah because you can just do it on your phone it's the whole idea exciting so we're going to get an insight into your world yeah do you want to hear my first secret i'd love to hear you can see if you can

tell me what it is i'd love to hear this is recorded this morning okay um clint secret sound number one oh what hey whoa did you record over my i don't want to know what you're doing at home did you just record over my... I don't want to know what you're doing at home. Did you just record over my secret sound? What if I push the second one? What if I push the second one? Let me guess. Is this the second sound you've recorded? Let me guess.

Okay, well, the first one was meant to be the sound of a cat bell. And the second one was going to be cat biscuits. I can't. I can't do that. So what happens if I push the second one was going to be cat biscuits I can't I can't do So what happens if I push the last one? Is this the third sound that you've recorded? I'm crying They're not even good fart noises

I'm crying They're not even good The first one was alright Hey mate it's your fart It's not mine The first one was alright But the second two are not even Oh the producer

Screw you you know What screw you Look a trust boundary's been broken alright The first one was alright, but the second two are not even... Oh, the producers! Screw you, you know what? Screw you. Look, a trust boundary's been broken, alright? Just so you know, just so you know, with what you did before, you've crossed the line. If you missed it, Clint said he'd recorded some sounds for The Secret Sound. And I had, by the way. I spent the morning going around my house recreating secret sounds. Yeah, we heard them.

No, no. The farts. I had the sound of a cat eating biscuits. I had the sound of a cat jingling its bell. I had to shake the cat over the microphone. And I had the sound of a cat doing a meow. And I switched them out for fart noises. It was amazing. You did.

Get it on the podcast. It was great. Just so you know, at any moment anything that you do could be replaced with the sound of a fart. Anything. It's usually my life anyway. Anything. Got some audio from your sister's wedding that you want to play? Oh!

You know? Got a heartfelt message you want to do to a charity or something? Oh, what's the one you want to play it out? Play it out, Aubrey? You know? Just so you know. Still funny. Still funny. I need... Oh, what's the one played out at Uprie? You know, just so you know. Still funny. Still funny.

I need... Oh, sorry. Time for a song now. He's salty. Bit of a feel good story for your Monday afternoon, Clint. I stumbled across this app that I was amazed at. We can create things like this in today's world. Sure.

To help people. So the app is called Be My Eyes. And essentially it's a free app that connects blind or low vision people with sighted volunteers. And you can assist these people when they need help. So essentially you sign up to an app. Yeah. And then if someone who's visually impaired needs, say,

to check the setting on the stove or they need to check how much time they're putting on a microwave it connects you by video chat they need a safety pair of eyes yeah and you can talk them through something that's genius isn't that genius yeah we've grabbed a piece of audio which explains a little bit more simply choose if you need help or want to help by the click of a button you can help just by installing the be my eyes app and we'll notify you when someone needs your help and if you're in the middle of something don't worry someone else will step in so give me this straight like say i'm

having i i'm blind or semi-blind yep and i'm having a drink on a friday night and i want to know what percentage alcohol it is exactly right right. I could be my eyes, you and you could tell me exactly what the, like the alcohol percentage of it is. Exactly. So I could be like, Oh, it's this many.

How do I know you're trustworthy? How do I know that you like, what's the criteria for signing up to the app? How do I know you, Bree at the other end of the app, have my best interest at heart and like the alcohol one, don't just want to see me get super lit. And then sit there and watch me via this video,

like have a party in my lounge by myself, blind, blind drunk. Well, I'd like to think that there's people out there that aren't D-bags. Okay. Last, and I don't mean to rubbish you, feel good, but last one. Yes. Because people love to use apps for dodgy purposes. What if someone on the other end, someone on the vision impaired side is a dodgy character? Yeah.

And every time they do a vision link to you, it's just them doing a DP again. Mate, it's not Snapchat. And they're going, is this the remote? And you go, stop doing this Stop I'm just asking if there's any safeguards No, don't know Okay, sweet as

Last week I was talking about my mate Alan One of my besties who was here visiting me from Australia Yeah Turns out he was more here to visit one of the hot guys that works here at ZM He had a hot run of dates while he was in New Zealand He just used your apartment as a launching pad It was literally date after date, sleepovers. He is a full dance card, that man, doesn't he?

Oh, he loves it. He's the guy who, if you heard last week, pioneered the idea of Tinder on a desktop. That's right. He's got Tinder on his laptop. So he can write back to multiple Tinder conversations. He can tab through browsers. He is the fastest Tinderer I have ever seen. Literally. He gets through them. conversations he can tab through browsers he is the fastest tinderer i have ever seen literally

he gets through them and i need to tell you about what happened when he was meant to catch his flight at 5 a.m no he was meant to be at the airport at 5 a.m on sunday morning oh why are you doing that why are you booking it why on earth cheap and you got the 7 a.m flight on a sunday morning this is what cheap people do they sacrifice their own like well-being for a flight like that. I'm not saying you can't get a flight that early in the morning. I'm saying if you're here to visit your friend, you're going out on Saturday night. And you go, don't worry, we'll just go all night. That sentence was literally said.

Yeah, I knew it would have been. And I said to him, I was like, are you sure? We can go out for a little bit and then we can go home. It's fine. No one wants to do that. No. So it turns out we went out, went to a house party and we had a few sherberts and it was great. Had a few drinks and then we went out clubbing.

And at some point in the night, I lost Alan. Yeah. And there was a point where I made the call and I sent him a text being like, you know, are you okay? And he's like, yeah, I want to stay out. What time are we talking? So I went home at about two in the morning. And he had to be at the airport at what time? He had to be at the airport at five.

So I said, the latest you can get home is four and then I'll put you in an Uber to the airport. Yeah. And he said, yep, yep, yep, all good. He's a grown man too though. Yeah. Like you're his host, but it's his responsibility. Yes. And you can only do so much.

So I went home and I went to bed, left my phone on loud in case he called me. Yeah. And didn't hear from Alan. I wake up. I wake up at 5.30. No Alan. I look next to my bed. There's Alan's bags.

No. And I've thought to my bed. There's Alan's bags. No. And I've thought to myself, oh, no. This is not going to end well. No, he's going to miss his flight. I then proceed to call Alan a million times, and I finally get on to him. Alan, where are you? Oh, I'm at my friend's house.

Had a sleepover. He went on another date. Went on another date. If you can call it that. If you can call it a date. He hadn't had enough from the New Zealand buffet that he had to take one more plateful before he left the country. One more whirl around the buffet, let's just say.

I said, where are you? Anyway, he was quite close to the airport and he said i'm not gonna make it unless i can't come back to your place and then go to the airport i won't make it no you can't and i said all right here's the plan get yourself in an uber i'll head on out to the airport now i will call an uber from here and i'll put your bags in the uber and hopefully they all meet you at the airport i assume his passport was in his bag. No, he had his passport. Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So if worse came to worse, he just goes without his bag. Without his stuff. Yeah, yeah. And his stuff just travels around in an Uber for eternity and never gets received. It would have got five stars. And anyway, the bags got to the airport with five minutes

for him to check them in. This was all happening at six o'clock in the morning. Yeah. I'm an early airport person. That story just gives me nightmares. Oh, I haven't slept for 24 hours. So Alan's off. He's safe and he's got his stuff. He's at home. I did forget one bag

though and it's at my house. Christ, that's alright. You need a break from him anyway. How good would it be to get paid and not do any work? This is literally mine and everyone else's dream. It's a dream and a guy by the name of Carlos Richio,

a Spanish public servant, has been living that dream for the last 10 years. Right. So, this is actually amazing. Carlos would get paid 50,000 euro a year, which is about $86,000. Jeez, that's decent money.

A lot of money. Yeah. So that was his salary. And his job was being an archives director, which I'm going to pretend like I know what that is. A library guy? Yeah, kind of. And he worked for the government.

So he'd work kind of like in the archives section. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'd be backing up anything important, any kind of historical document, that kind of thing. Where no one would see him. He'd clock into the office, which he actually would do. So this is how he did it. He would show up every morning for work at 7.30

and he would clock in using the fingerprint scanner before heading home and then chilling out at home all day to then return at 3.30 to then clock out with his fingerprint again. Genius. He got away with it for 10 years. 10 years. 10 years. He got paid, and he was doing this and living the dream.

So to do this, my brain's already going, how can I do it? Where's the job I can do? You would have to have a job where you worked alone and no one saw you and or you had workmates that were willing to do it with you, to be in on the scam with you. You'd also have to have a job where nobody came to see you, like an

unimportant job where you could just, where there were no visitors or anything like that. But then my mind goes to if no one was doing the work for 10 years did there have to be someone doing that job no they didn't but they didn't know that because it would just be one of those jobs that they squirreled away and you don't think about it these are big government organizations mate i reckon there are people in our government right now doing this exact same thing going shut up we've got it so good shut the f up i'll give you some of the money if you just shut up turns out he was uh running a really successful business from home oh what was he doing drawing erotic comics what a guy went out on saturday

night clint yeah we heard you know we saw Yeah, all right. We saw you brutalising people at a party by forcing them to listen to Guy Sebastian battle scars. Yeah, I didn't realise. I obviously have forgotten that when I'm singing on my Instagram story, you can hear me. Yeah. Yeah. This is my impersonation of Brie on Saturday night. Hold this, Yui Boom. This is a goodation of Brie on Saturday night Hold this Yui boom This is a good song

These battles I wonder if I've got it on my phone Because that would be No you don't need to play it No I wouldn't play it because it was that horrific I wouldn't put people through that I'm with you on Guy Sebastian battle scars though I was having this conversation with Lucy my wife on the weekend

As to what the best Guy Sebastian battle scars What the best Guy Sebastian song is. He'll never top it. He won't top battle scars. I love playing it at a party. Subcategory. What's the best Guy Sebastian song? Feel free to comment anytime on 9696. That's the chat we're doing. I quite like Angels brought

me here as well. No! What about Like a Drum? Nah, too tropical. I didn't like the vibe he was going down there. Too tropical. I feel like he was trying to reinvent himself a little bit. That's when he got rid of the afro. Yeah, he started wearing that hat.

Oh yes, the fedora. The fedora type hat. Yeah, he was working that. Well, the night took a turn for the worst after the battle scars and I proceeded to head on out with my mate Alan because my bestie Alan was in town and I needed to show him a good time. Yeah. One final blowout before he left the country.

And we went out for a few drinks and we had a good time. And when I go out, I love to chew gum. I'm always chewing gum. Right. Are you a paranoid breath person? Yes. I hate having bad breath. I hate it. And I'm always chewing gum. Right. Are you a paranoid breath person? Yes. Yeah, same. I hate having bad breath. Yeah. I hate it and I'm always chewing gum. I'm obsessed with gum. Yeah.

Yeah, the obsession took a turn for the worse when I headed home and I've put myself to bed still chewing gum. That's a choking hazard, mate. I don't mean to sound like your mum, but that's a choking hazard. Yeah, well, I don't. Yeah, I didn't mean to. You take it out and stick it on the side of your bed. And then it regains its flavor overnight. And then you put it back in your mouth.

That's not true. Well, don't sleep with it. You look down at me. You're the one who could have choked to death on your stupid gum. I woke up and the gum had disintegrated in my mouth. Oh, yeah. And I thought, this is my life. This is where I'm at in my late 20s,

waking up with gum still in my mouth. Could have been worse. Could have been in your hair, I guess. The last episode of our show's out tonight, our Crash Course show. So what was the first one? We met a mermaid. Yeah, so Fletch, Vaughan and Megan to start this new show

sent us on a bunch of experiences to get ready to host the show. And we needed Adaptiveness so we had to become A mermaid with a mermaid We had to give communication so we spent The night in a haunted prison I hated that one, the Napier prison You could tell from the video you had at every moment

I hated it, it was horrible And the last one, apparently To do this show we need fearlessness I think this is all a load of BS and they just wanted us to do a bunch of random stuff. Well, I've reflected on it and I'm like, what's the fearless things that they're doing? Like, where are they in every day? Where are they exemplifying fearlessness? I mean, Megan's washing her dog naked.

It's kind of fearless. We want a dog to bite you there. Okay, fair enough. So we went to Bluff at the bottom of the South Island. How good's Bluff? How good's Bluff, just to say? Near Invercargill. Bluff!

Bluff! Bluff! Bluff! Bluff! And we went shark diving. Great white sharks. I'm going to play you a little bit of it. The video's on our Facebook page right now, and you can see the sharks that we saw.

One of the most surreal experiences of my whole life, but terrifying too. Listen to this. You will hear great white sharks thrashing around in the water right outside the boat that we're standing on listen to this you can't be scared as well remember we're here what is it fear it's fearlessness oh my god there right here that's a great white that is terrifying how long would you say that is just over over three metres, so maybe like a young adult. Genuinely, when I get in that water and I see a shark, I'll be f***ing terrified.

Amazing though. Was incredible. And you know how they say it's never a good idea to go in your wetsuit because it's really hard to clean? I can vouch for that. If you want to watch it, the last episode of Crash Course is on our Facebook. You can search Bree and Clint. It's the end of our show. That's what it is.

It's been a good day today. We've had Josh from Love Island on the show. You shared some of your fart noises. Okay, no, I tried to record some secret sounds and I was sabotaged. Josh from Love Island's just shared our interview too on his Instagram story, by the way. No big deal.

Josh from Love Island? How cool was that guy? Real cool. We also checked in with our psychic guinea pig who predicted the final of the World Cup. He predicted France would

win. She. Sorry she. Her name's Franks but it's a girl. So I would like to leave you with the special song that Brie wrote and sang

as an original. I'm leaving. Bye. No this is your song Stay and bask in it Have a great night everybody Psychic pig Psychic pig

Does whatever A psychic pig does Can she fly Through the air No she can't She's just a pig Well actually She's not even a pig

She's a guinea pig Turn it off See Superb Bye Bye Bye