ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – June 17th 2020

Episode Date: June 17, 2020

Where did your water break?Latest with Dean McCarthyThe age gameAll Blacks moneyGuy tries to sue his dateNickname Origin!What’s your wild nursing story?Birthday Banger!Bree gets her feet out…Fined for fartingSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello everybody, welcome to the Bree and Clint podcast. I said I had something to discuss on the podcast. Yeah, and I said to you, should we do it on the show? Should we talk about it on the show? And you go, hmm, not really appropriate for the show. Yeah, it probably is, but I just can't, you just can't talk as freely. Yeah. But I wanted to bring up the fact-

And boy, do you talk freely on the podcast. I do love it. Don't you love it? No, not always. You get so uncomfortable sometimes. But I'm trying to train you. The more we talk, the better it'll get. Your opinion.

It'll just become like second nature. Yeah, yeah. Do the thing. I wanted to talk about my pap smear that I got today. No, and I actually did. I'm not just saying that to stir you up. I wanted to ask because. Which I'm fine, by the way. I'm not just saying that to stir you up. I wanted to ask because... Which I'm fine, by the way.

I'm pro pap smears, obviously. Yeah, obviously. Go pap smears. Go get them, girls. Ben, you love pap smears too, eh? Yeah, mate. Who doesn't love a pap smear? Anyway, I was at my doctor's today and I was getting my routine pap smear.

And who's an amazing doctor, by the way. Just so lovely, so warm. Male or female? Female. I think the best doctor I've ever had. She's an English lady, but she's just incredible. Great. Anyway, so I've never had a pap smear from her before.

And if you haven't had one, fellas, hopefully the ladies have. Is there a male equivalent? A prostate exam. Oh exam all right that would be the equivalent but is a prostate can you tell me as a prostate exam they shove the finger up they feel around they pull it out yeah see i feel like a pap smear is more in depth than that yeah it's quite uncomfortable they put the finger in and they no they don't really even do they no i'm talking about the main one Oh right Put the finger in Two fingers I think

Yeah And they feel the prostate I haven't actually had one But You need to go get one Do you I've told you I've told you my story

You don't have a prostate No Excuse me No You should have been like that one No I asked for the I asked for the check up

Yeah When I turned 30 And they said you were too young The doctor said oh that's a bit weird And I was like oh excuse me I've got a mate who just lost a nut To ball cancer So yeah I did

Same age as me and I said can I get the check And he goes oh I'll do it if you want me to And I've never felt more uncomfortable And I should have stupidly I should have gone no you know what I don't want it And left and got a new uncomfortable. And I should have stupidly, I should have gone, no, you know what? I don't want it. And left and got a new doctor. You don't deserve my bottom.

But instead, I awkwardly said, yes, I do want it. And he goes, all right, well, whip your pants off. And then this guy, this doctor, and I know they're professionals, but I had to have this doctor feeling my balls, who clearly didn't want to feel my balls. Well, I don't know if any doctor is like, oh, prostate exam, can't wait. Woo, what a day. Anyway, that's different to a prostate exam.

That was just a ball exam. Oh, that's very different. He didn't go in. No, very different. He's like, you should be fine until you're 40. And I was like, my mate is the same age as me and he just lost a nut. Can you just check my nuts and get it done with?

Touch my balls! Anyway, sorry, this is about your pap smear and I really railroaded it with my balls. Can you sorry. This is about your pap smear, and I really railroaded it with my balls. Can you get your balls out of my pap smear story, please? Anyway, with the pap smear, you go behind a curtain, you take your duds off, and then you sit up on a table, and they do their thing, right? And to be honest, I don't...

Do you get a gown? No, you don't. They put a blanket over your bottom half, and then you kind of sit up like you're giving birth and then do you go in the stirrups no there's no stirrups just kind of spread them spread them yeah that's what she said to me she's like all right spread them yeah and anyway she was very you may as well bring some light humor to the situation yeah and this is what i found really interesting because usually i'm like what do you talk about when someone's giving you a

pap smear nothing no i find that so much worse really i've definitely seen it but then it depends on how long okay so pap smear takes about doesn't take long and to be honest she was very quick today she was very good very thorough in and out literally in and out, literally. In and out, literally. Oh, a couple of in and outs because they do different swabs if you're getting all the tests, which you should get them all if you're going, can I say? Always good. You may as well, you're there. Get your money's worth. Yeah, get your money's worth.

And I found myself talking to her about our radio show and I was talking about... You've done this before. I was talking about talking about you've done this before you're talking about you you've done this before when you were getting a wax did i yeah and the way you go to you like well i just i know so much about it because i do it every day i think she brought it up can i say how did i feature in the conversation well she said i think she started it up, can I say? Okay, how did I feature in the conversation? Well, she said, I think she started it.

And she goes, oh, how's things going with your radio show and that co-host of yours? What's his name? And I said, oh, Clint. She goes, you know, I was listening the other day. You definitely brought this up, by the way. No, no, no, no. She goes, oh, I was listening.

I actually, I think I heard something on the show like the other day and I was like, oh, I'm not going to tell you then what we talked about as she was giving me a pap smear. What? We talked about when your daughter said your name for the first time. Not a big deal. And to be honest, it made the whole thing go really quickly, and it wasn't even a big deal. You're uncomfortable about this. You think that it's weird.

That my daughter's name was in your mouth while you were having a pap smear. I don't find it that weird. There's nothing sexual about it. No, there's absolutely not. I just find it interesting what people talk about in those situations. What comes to mind.

Me, I talk a lot. Fill the space. I've got the same problem Whereas you When someone's got their finger up your date You said no I've never had the finger Not that it's a problem if you have But I didn't

But you have to say But I would say nothing No In that situation There are some situations where you just Really? I can't say nothing I feel like that's way worse

And for us We have to look them in the eye When they're doing it Oh yeah You're front on Yeah Yeah right Like you're looking straight in the eye when they're doing it. Oh, yeah, you're front on. Yeah. Yeah, right.

Like you're looking straight in the eye. The ball check. Yeah. Lying on my back. So I just. Oh, so wait, you see. I'm just staring at the ceiling. Oh.

Lying on the bed. I thought you'd stand up and they, oh, no, that's prostate. Is the prostate where they go? No, prostate is up the bum bum. Yeah, I know, but is prostate where they go, all right, cough? No, that's a ball check as well. That's ball check, right. Yeah. I think I did do that. Turn your head and cough. Yeah. Why is it turn, alright, cough? No, that's a ball check as well. I think I did do that.

Turn your head and cough. Why is it turn your head and cough? So you don't cough on the doctor. That makes sense. Makes a lot of sense. Now it's probably cough into your elbow. In the prostate one, you have to lie on your side. So you guys have to get your balls and your butthole checked.

Do we have to get ours? Do you even get your butthole checked as a woman? I think as we get older. But not now. What are they checking for? Just structural integrity. Maybe. What are they checking for you guys? That's where the prostate is.

Oh, so what's in our butthole then? Nothing. Nothing usable. Oh, well, we missed out. Anyway. Anyway. I wanted to talk about this Because I left my pap smear too long

Yeah And I just want to tell someone Who might be listening Who's been putting it off It's not a big deal at all Talk about the weather Doctors, they see them all the time She said

You're good to go Very normal And get it done Because it could actually save your life Alright, sing us out producer Ellie go I put the wrong

you put it on sing us out producer Ellie get your past met it's not that bad I swear get a friend to take you there

it's important to look after your body it's no afternoon delight but it can save your life, I guess. Take a check your pockets. Here's the podcast, everybody. Enjoy. Hey, Google, what's the time? It's 3 p.m., give or take a minute. Alexa, play ZM on iHeartRadio.

Playing ZM on iHeartRadio. Hey, Siri, Winnebree and Quentin. Bree and Clinton on iHeartRadio. Hey, Siri, when are Brie and Clint on? Brie and Clint are on air in five, four, three, two, one. Hey, everybody. How you going? Brie and Clint. Hello, guys. Just wanted to let everyone know for my 3 o'clock, 3 p.m. snack,

I wanted to get chips. Couldn't decide, so I got two. Yeah, yeah. Interesting choices. Very similar flavours, though, both chips. Yeah, you've gone with Burger Rings and Cheetos. Yeah. Cheetos, not something I knew you could buy in New Zealand.

Just to open the show with some chip chat. Apparently these are like brand new here in NZ. Cheetos. Yeah, apparently they're like a new thing you can get here now. And for the old school chip fans, they taste exactly like Crunchies. Crunchies. Is that what they were called? Pretty like crunchies. Crunchies. Is that what they were called? Pretty sure they were called crunchies, yeah. So finally

now I've learnt from Aussie, crunchies, whatever that means, that is what our twisties are like. So have you had our twisties? Yes. Do you have, what's your version of those? We don't have those. Yeah, right. We also don't have, what are the ones I really like?

Munchos. Oh. By the time you finish those two bags, your fingers are going to look like Donald Trump. Oh. They are. That joke could have went south real quick. What?

Oh. Ooh. Yeah. I was giving him, what's it called when you guys get checked? An exam. Well, to give him that exam, you have to go south and then you have to go north. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, true.

Very true. Speaking of going south, good to hear that there are no more COVID cases today. Oh, there's not? No, no new ones. We got the two yesterday and then no more new ones today. But then we just heard in the news there that everyone that was staying in the hotel where those two new cases are are now being locked down there. Yeah, they can't leave. For how long, I wonder?

Probably the two-week quarantine. Two weeks? I don't know exactly how it works, but yeah. I feel like, you know, it's going to be a bit of, you know, a bit of this for a little while. How stink would you feel if you were the two people, the two new cases? You'd be, I feel sorry for them in a way because they'd be copying it from a lot of people.

Absolutely. But from what I've read, you know, I feel like there might have been a few miscommunications and they were here for, you know, a reason that's quite not the best situation where they lost a horrible situation yeah yeah the most impressive bit is they say they drove from auckland to wellington without using a toilet that is the most impressive bit of this whole thing i think the thing to remember is yeah you know we're going to have situations like this but just try and be kind to people yeah you know and try and actually learn what's going on before you lose your nut at someone.

And if you feel like you might have COVID-19, don't drive to Wellington. Yeah. That's the last point on this. Yeah, don't go to a public restroom. Next on the show, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, so there's a celebrity who's come out and spoken about the time

she thought her water broke. Oh, okay. But the story behind it is actually quite interesting. But we're going to get your water-breaking stories. And if you know what we're talking about, this probably involves you. We'll do it up to Dua Lipa on Zeddy and Bree and Clint. Bree and Clint. Kristen Bell is in the news at the moment

because she's going to be in a new Apple TV series called Central Park. Oh, good that Apple TV's getting a second show. Why, they just had that morning, what's it called? They had the morning show. Hey, that was a good show, though. That was amazing. So they won from one. Have you watched anything else on there since then?

No. Nah. When's the Oprah show? Anyway, sorry. Anyway, so apparently she's been doing things for that and someone in one of the media junkets asked a question which was, what's something you've never admitted publicly but you'll tell me now?

Oh. Juicy, right? Good question if the person's willing to play along. I know, but usually in those things they're not. I go, I don't know you. I'm not giving you my deepest, darkest secrets. Kristen Bell, from what I can see of her in these things, she's such a down-to-earth, genuine, funny human being.

Yeah. She said, she goes, I have no secrets and that's not even a joke. I've publicly admitted to things like thinking my water broke when I was nine months pregnant and having found out that instead at the hospital I'd just peed my pants. Oh, wow. Can you imagine getting to the hospital and going, my water's broke, my water's broke, and the doctor comes in and he goes,

no, you've just wet yourself. And good on the doctor for knowing the difference too. Yeah. How did he know? I mean, it might be quite yourself. And good on the doctor for knowing the difference too. Yeah. How did he know? I mean, it might be quite clear. He takes a look. He's like, no, you're not dilated. You've wet yourself.

No, he might look and go, no, you've just weed yourself and you need some water. Quite dehydrated. Plus, did you have an asparagus roll for lunch by any chance, Kirsten Bell? I hate asparagus for that reason. Like I love asparagus but it's bad. You know when you've had it. It's so bad.

So where was she with the water break? At the hospital. No, she was at home. Oh, yeah. It doesn't say where she was but she just went into the hospital but it made me think about different places where women might have been where obviously you can't prepare for that. You can't, right?

I don't feel... Here we go, mansplaining Flint. No, excuse me. I was about to say I don't feel comfortable commenting because I've only been present at one birth. Yeah, right. All I know is that my mum told me that's not really something you can go, oh, I'm going to go home because I think my water's about to break.

No, you're right. And I think that's why they use the word break. And I'm going to release, they don't say, I'm going to release my waters now. Exactly. You can't hold it. You know what I mean, so to speak. You can't hold it. It just kind of breaks where it may.

And I remember when I was probably about 15, I was at my friend's house and my friend's mum was a nurse and this woman came over who was heavily pregnant and we were all going to go to McDonald's to get something to eat for dinner. Anyway, so we've all gotten to the car and we went to McDonald's and I'm not joking, I was standing behind this woman in the line at McDonald's and her water breaks right in front of me. That was a live recording. Pretty much.

Yeah, and as a 15 year old I was like pure panic. I've seen water based incidents at McDonald's before and it wasn't water breaking. No, it was 3 o'clock in the morning and the person definitely wasn't pregnant. But I'm not doubting that yours is.

That's what happened with you. Well, right. I see what you're saying. No, trust me. She was pregnant. We want to ask this afternoon. On 0800DIALZM, have you got a water breaking story? Were you in an unusual place?

Yeah. And it just happened to, you know, that was the time. Where'd your water break? Where did your water break? 0800DIALZM or you can text us on 9696. Bree and Clint. Were you at the movies and you went to go get your popcorn and then water breaks?

You're not going to get to watch that movie. Look how... I always learn off movies and I think this is why I was so terrified of being with someone who was pregnant and they're water-breaking because in a movie, it's like you don't have much time. Yeah, and I'd actually love to hear from a midwife about how accurate the movie representations are. I think it depends on person to person, right?

Yeah, because when my wife Lucy was pregnant, I was like towards getting closer to the day, I was like any moment now, keep a towel handy any moment now. But it just didn't work out like that. No, it's not always as it appears on the movies. No, no. But we've asked you on 0800-DIALS-IT-M, maybe you did have a movie moment and your water broke in a really weird, unusual place. Sarah's up first. Hi, Sarah.

Hi, Sarah. Hi. Thanks for sharing with us first. Tell us, where did your water break? My water broke in the supermarket. Actually, my auntie's water broke in the supermarket about

18 years ago. Oh, it was your auntie? Yeah. Was it in a particular aisle? Hopefully in the cleaning aisle. I'm not too sure which aisle. Can you imagine walking down the aisles doing your afternoon shop and then

boom. Bing bong, clean up aisle three. Karen's here. Hey, Karen. Hi, Karen. Hey, how are you? Good, thanks. What happened to you? Was it you or someone you know? It was me. Oh, it was you, Kaz. Yes, it was. how are you? Good, thanks. What happened to you? Was it you or someone you know? It was me. Oh, it was you, Kez. Yes, it was. Where were you? Chip shop.

No way. The fish and chip shop. Yeah, my husband had just got back from work, decided he was hungry, so we thought we'd walk round to the chip shop, which was about a 15 minute walk. And yeah, just placed his order and yeah, all over the floor of the chip shop, which was about a 15-minute walk. Yeah. And, yeah, just placed his order and, yeah, all over the floor of the chip shop and then had to walk back 15-minute walk or so with soggy trousers.

Yeah, right. Oh, my God, that is the best story I've ever heard. I've got an important question because in the antenatal class that I attended, they said the labour is a very, very long process and in that time you're both going to need to eat to keep your strength up because you can be in labour for days, some women. So did

you wait for the fish and chip order or did you leave straight away? Of course he did. It was for him, not for me. So yes, of course he did. You guys are my actual couple goals, Karen. Couple goals right there. Congratulations.

Never mind the extra salt. Can we get some extra paper towel? That's a great story. Sarah's here. Sarah, hi. Hi, Sarah. Hiya. What happened?

So mine starts off a little bit sad. We were actually at my partner's dad's house because he was actually dying of cancer. Oh my gosh. Which is a horrific story. So I'm massively, massively pregnant in November, so super hot.

Yeah. And obviously it's quite an emotional time, lots of hugs and crying and a bit, you know. Yeah. First baby, and I realised,

I thought my waters had broken because it wasn't like a big gushing, you know, like on the movies. It was more just a little bit like, hmm, I'm feeling a little bit

uncomfortable. Yeah, yeah. I've had that before in summer, Sarah. We call it swamp butt. Yeah. My first baby, I didn't know. Very common, yeah. So I went to the midwife. Yeah, she basically told me exactly what you said.

She's like, no, sorry, you're just a bit sweaty. Oh, no. So I went for a full examination just to be told that I was sweaty. That's amazing. And it could have been worse. You could have not been pregnant because that's happened to me. Can you imagine if you weren't pregnant so you had no excuse? You go in, you're like, I think my waters are broken.

And they're like, you're not even pregnant. You've just got chafe. And Kirstie. Hi, Kirstie. Hi, mate. Hey, guys. How are you? Good, thanks.

Did it happen to you? Yeah. So my water's actually broke in an adult store. Oh, you're joking. What are the odds? So I was visiting a relative that worked at the store at the time. Sure you were. Sure you were.

Who let her tell her story? I was pregnant. I know what you guys get up to. You're allowed to do whatever you want. You're allowed to do whatever. There's no shame on this show. I'm just saying, sure you were, Kirsty. Hey, no, no.

Hey, if I was there for that reason, I'd be happy to say it. But no, I wasn't. I was actually visiting somebody. And yeah, yeah, my water decided to break in the middle of the store. And yeah, it was a messy a messy experience i'll say that and you named her cinnamon at least you know it wouldn't have been the weirdest thing that they'd seen in that store even that day i reckon kirsty brie and clint the latest live from la with dean mccarthy br, you're going to love this story. Dean, Jade from Little Mix has revealed her most embarrassing onstage moment.

What was it? Oh, I love this. She has. Well, she, yeah, I love a good onstage embarrassing moment, but here's the thing about this one. This takes it to another level. You would think maybe falling down the stairs or when their wig fell off. No, no, no.

She has said this. I'm going to blush saying this on national radio, but she has confessed that she went to do just a little sneaky one. She thought she'd just squeeze out a little fart, but unfortunately, she sharted. This is on stage in front of thousands and thousands of people.

I don't know whether people... She hasn't confessed. She hasn't confessed whether people noticed or how they got away with it. She just ran off. What do you mean, did she get away with it? You never get away with a shot. No, it's when you're on stage when you're in Little Mix.

Oh, that poor girl. Energy banger. Yeah, energy banger. Energy banger. Yeah, and this is an exclusive that I can give to you, Dean. That was the inspiration for the little mix song, Black Magic. So that's not funny. Yeah.

The poor girl. Can you imagine? They wanted to call it Brown Magic, but it was too literal. Have you guys ever been in the situation where something like this happens to you and you go full survival mode into like, what do I do? That's going to be the least amount of impact to my life. What would she have done?

She ran off stage. Is that what she did? She escaped as soon as she could, eh, Dean? Oh. Yeah, you would. Bless her. The other girls would have been like... She did that little shuffle run.

Yeah, yeah. The shuffle run. She got off stage without turning around She went over to the drummer and said Can I borrow your hoodie I feel bad for her but damn That is a good story That is the latest with our Hollywood correspondent

Dean McCarthy it's brought to you by Bumble The social networking app Social networking app where women make the first move Welcome to the age game A game where we guess networking app where women make the first move. Bree and Clint. Welcome to the Age Game. A game where we guess how old people are. It's a very straightforward game. To be honest, it's just when we want to have a bit of fun.

Yeah. Casey's going to play with us. Hi, Casey. Hi, Casey. Hi. Hi. Someone will chuck in a name, and then we're all going to have a go at guessing the age. And whoever gets closest wins.

If you want a particular age you've got to get in first. Yeah. That's the game. Yeah. Understand Casey? Yeah. So we'll just quickly

say what age we think. Yeah. Just say it. Exactly right. So just yell it out if you've got a gut like feeling or if you want to

sit back and wait and see what everyone else says it's up to you. Feel free to play along in the car too, but Bree's going to give us the first person today. Hold on. I hadn't prepared for this. I'm going to say Kirsten Dunst. Kirsten Dunst.

I'm going to say she's 49. 41, 39. I'm going to say 38. No, I said just avoid it. 37. I'm going to say 38. No, I said just avoid it. 37. I'm going to go 37. Okay, wait. So Ben has said 37.

Casey has said 39. 38 for Clint. 38 for Clint. Okay. And you said 41. And I said 41. You said 38. All right.

Is someone getting the... You are. Oh, it's me. Is it me? Yeah, you've got to search your own one. Okay, here we go. Kirsten Dunst, who has actually been staying here in New Zealand, is 38. Yes!

I'm the man in this game. There we go. All right, who's up next? I'll go next. Tom Hanks. How old is Tom Hanks? 53. 64. 62. 61. Hanks? 53. 64.

52. 61. Okay, I've got 64. Everyone remember your own age. Okay, I've got 61. 61. Hold on. Tom Hanks, the first celebrity to get coronavirus, we think, is 63.

That's another point to me. Wow. Wait, what did you say, Casey? I said 52. Oh, jeez. Well, there you go. A bit generous, I think. That's a compliment for Tom Hanks.

Okay, Ben, chuck one in there. I'm going to go David Beckham. David Beckham is 41. I'm going to say 46. I'm going to say 52. 50. Okay, so Casey said... 42. 42. 42. I'm going to say 46. I'm going to say 52. 50? Okay, so Casey said... 42.

42. I said 41. Clint said 41. I said 46. Do you think he was playing for the LA Galaxy when he was like 48 years old? You think he's 50? I don't know. What's the answer?

45. David Beckham is 45. That's a point to go. Man, you're not having a good game, Casey. No, I'm not very good at this game. That's okay. Bring it home for us. Last round.

You need to chuck a celebrity in there. At least you didn't say David Beckham was 50. At least I didn't say Kirsten Dunst was 41, 42. Are you firing shots at me? Yeah, I can't release throw stones. You're on zero points, 42. Are you firing shots at me? Yeah, I can't release throw stones. You're on zero points, Casey. Give us our final celebrity for the age game. Me give you one?

Yeah, you give us one. Your turn. Kourtney Kardashian. Kourtney Kardashian's 36, 35. Oh, I'm pretty good at this. She's definitely, I'm going to say she's 40. Yeah, that would have been my guess. Kourtney Kardashian?

I'm going to say she's 40, yeah. You have to go above or below me, Casey. I'm going to go 41. Okay, 41 for Casey. She's taken out the point. Oh. Is she 41? She's 41.

Yeah. I got it right. She's the oldest. Oh, is she 41? She's 41. Yeah. I got it right. She's the oldest. Oh, finally. Did they have an episode last season for Courtney's 40th birthday? I think they did. They went away to Kris Jenner's holiday house in Santiago. Oh, right.

And they did a procedure on her to shave 25 years off her life on the same episode. They look amazing. I will give them that. They look good. Okay, the end of the game. I'm the winner. Are you? Yeah, I got two points. They look amazing. I will give them that. They look good. Okay, the end of the game. I'm the winner. Are you? Yeah, I got two points.

You got one. Ben. Casey got one and Ben got nothing. Hey, Casey, at least we're not the people that didn't get any. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Could have been worse. Face, Ben. Bree and Clint.

We're about to spill some juice because the All Blacks pay slips have been revealed. Yeah, Bowden Barrett left one in his gym bag. And we've got it. In the Blues locker. We've got now hands on it. The bosses have said, don't read it out. We said, why not? They're public servants.

They play for the All Blacks. Exactly. It's like working for the government. We deserve to know. Yeah, your salary has to be made public. It says that, you know, like players back in the day, like I'm talking Sean Fitzpatrick or Zinz and Brooke. Yeah, two of your favourite All Blacks.

Yeah, my favourites. How much do you reckon they were making a year? So Sean Fitzpatrick was captain of the All Blacks in the mid-90s. And I don't reckon there was much money back then. I think you just played for the love of the game. So, what, probably like 50 grand? So, they were offered about $250,000 to $300,000 a year. Whoa!

In the 90s. Back in the 90s, yeah. That was enough to buy three houses in Auckland in the 90s. Yeah, well, probably. And anyway, it's been revealed, players of today, how much they're getting played. So, when we're talking about players that aren't, you know, Bowdoin Barrett or the captain.

Sam Cain. The captain, Sam Cain. Brie loves the All Blacks. Ask me about the Wallabies. I know everything. If we're not talking about those big high-profile players, the ones that are kind of, you know, still in the All Blacks, getting good money, they're on about $450,000 to $600,000 a season.

Whoa. Yes. Yep, cool. Good, good, good, good, good. Anyway, then you've got players like Bowdoin Barrett and the captain Sam Kane who are earning closer to a million dollars a season. That is, and I say this without any hint of jealousy in my voice, so good for them. I'm so

happy for them. I feel the sincerity. I just feel it coming from you. You have to pay them, not to get too sporty on it, but you have to pay them that much, because otherwise the rich French clubs will just come in and buy them. So you've got to find a million dollars for Bowdoin Barrett. And look, he's

here to save the Blues. He filled Eden Park on the weekend, so arguably he's worth his million dollars. Well, Dan Carter did his bit too. Yeah, Dan Carter did a lot, yep. And that's what they're talking about. They're kind of like, you know, this is how much the French clubs have because of obviously the salary cap over there compared to here.

Awkward for those guys, though, to now have how much they earn. Because this is in the newspaper. We joke about how we found out. It's actually in the Herald. Yeah, for those guys, though, to now have how much they earn. Because this is in the newspaper. We joke about how we found out. It's actually in the Herald. Yeah, it's actually been published. And obviously, you know, it is public knowledge. Awkward as you're sitting in the changing rooms, which is their workspace next to the guy who doesn't earn a million dollars.

And they're like, oh, I read the paper yesterday. That's when it gets real awkward, doesn't it? Because you know how much the next guy to the next guy gets paid. Yeah, exactly right. So did you have that awkward moment? Did you find out how much someone you work with gets paid? And was it awkward? What happened?

Jade wants to talk to us. Hi, Jade. Hi, Jade. Hello. Did this happen to you, Jade? Yes, yes. It happened a couple of years ago. I found out I was being paid only 25% more

than someone I was training while I'd been there for a couple of years. Ooh. And what, sorry to be that woman, but was it a woman or a man? It was a woman. Oh, well, there you go. You asked that question so much more PC than you were going to ask it. Well, I just, you know what? As a woman, we get attacked for asking those questions.

No, you're asking woman to woman and I support the cause, so you should just go for it. But it was woman to woman. Did she have more experience than you or why was that? No, I don't know. She was about three years younger than me too. Oh, so that would have made you quite angry. How did you find out how much they were getting paid?

Oh, I ever heard her, because she was one of the new girls, I ever heard her talking to someone else about it and I was like, oh, okay. Can we ask what the job was? What line of work? It was a waitressing job. Oh, okay. That doesn't make very much sense.

There you go. Someone on the text machine said the payroll person left a printout of everyone's salary on the printer. One of my colleagues found it and told everyone what one person was getting paid, which was about double everyone else for doing the same job. The pay was $91,000 with a $10,000 bonus. Everyone was really pissed off and didn't speak to her for a while.

She was the biggest kiss-ass going around. There you go. It was worth $91,000 to them too. Finally, this person wants to remain anonymous, but that's okay. Whose pay did you find out about anonymous? Oh, it was one of the girls I actually worked with at the time. We all thought she was probably quite on a big pay packet, but we didn't quite realise how big it actually was.

Right, and then you guys found out? Yeah, we did find out purely by accident. It shouldn't really have been left on the printer. Oh, wait, this was you? No, I didn't actually find it. One of my colleagues did, and then she told everybody how much, and the person was you. No, I didn't actually find it. One of my colleagues did and then she told everybody how much and the person was actually getting paid. I've heard of this happening before too and I don't know,

like I've heard of people printing out their pay slip on the printer and I'm like, why would you do that at work if you... Unless you want people to find out. Well, that's it. No, it was the person who was actually doing the payroll and they had accidentally left everyone's salary printout on the printer and didn't realise one of my colleagues picked it up. Oopsie.

I bet they wouldn't have been very popular at the Christmas party. Yeah. They weren't very popular anyway, but even less so. Walk out. Well, if you ever wondered, some of the All Blacks are making a million dollars. And like I said, I'm not jealous at all. I haven't seen Lonely People. It's not a big deal.

No, it's fine. Strap yourselves in for this story. It's coming out of Britain. And a guy by the name of Martin Conway, he's 45. He says he was left traumatised after contracting a cold sore from a woman he knew as Giovanna Lovelace when they shared a pash on a first date. He's now demanding a payout of $250,000 from Miss Lovelace, stating she failed to inform him that she had this virus.

Oh, well. He's suing a woman that he kissed for $250,000. Yeah, he's saying on their first date, he believes she initiated it without telling him that she was a carrier. I don't think she had a cold sore at the time. I think she was, you know how some people, I think, I mean, I don't know all that much about it,

but you can carry it and you can potentially give it to someone. What I know of it is once you have had a cold sore, you have the virus forever. Yeah. And it goes away and it comes back and sometimes you get it when you're stressed. Flares up and it's usually when you run down. So he's saying that she should have disclosed to him before kissing him that she was a cold sore carrier.

Yes. Come on, get off it. Which, I mean, she's saying pretty much the same as what you're saying. Get off it. Yeah. I don't know that there's anyone who's going to sympathise with him. Why $250,000? So when you sue someone, you have to prove damages.

And you have to prove that they've caused you $250,000 worth of damage. So get this. This is what he's claiming. Are you ready? Yeah. So he said several days after their date, he became ill, developing flu-like symptoms and mouth ulcers. He said as a result of this, his new lifelong condition, he claims,

has stopped him from pursuing his dream career as a lawyer, left him too scared to leave his home. He also claims he can no longer go cycling as he worries that the heat and stress will cause a flare-up. Yeah, right. He's also adding psychological implications were hard to manage. So just carry the one. That's $250,000 compensation.

And the guy reckons he was training to be a lawyer, and this is the case that he's bringing. I don't think that he would have made a very good lawyer. I mean, unless he wins. I also don't think he would have made a very good boyfriend. So this lady has dodged a bullet. Do you reckon it's because he didn't get a second date? Possibly.

Because it says here that he didn't. Yeah. And is it because he's that sour? Maybe. Because if the love of your life gave you a cold sore, you wouldn't care. Yeah. And also then you've both got the cold sore virus. I know there's a lot of stigma for people who have cold sores.

Like you do get embarrassed by that. I feel so horrible for people that cop that stigma because it is, it's very much attached to that. And it's such a normal thing. Like it's such a common thing to have happen. A lot of people go through that. A lot of people get it. And so they actually like, I've never had one,

but they look really sore. So this guy is claiming that he's embarrassed and that's part of his $250,000 worth of damages. Whereas if he'd just not done this, gone and got some Zavirax, like on the ad, the cold sore would have gone away. And if he's that embarrassed about it, it would go away and no one need know about it. Instead, here we are on the other side of the world.

Oh, so true. I see what you're saying. Because you just named him as well. You just gave out his full name. Who Martin Conway, 45. Now the whole world knows about his cold sore. Kia ora, I'm Jane Yee. I'm Alex Casey. And I'm Duncan Grave.

We are the hosts of The Real Pod and Confession Cam Time. We bloody love reality telly. If we sound like your type on paper, join us each week for your fix of reality TV news, recaps and gossip. On The Real Pod, it's perfectly fine to like reality TV. It's a safe space, so let down your walls, wear your heart on your sleeve and remember, it is what it is.

And what it is, is The Real Pod. Brought to you by the Spinoff Podcast Network and available wherever you get your pods. Bree and Clint. Pretty easy game. You guys call us up, you tell us what your nickname is, and we try to guess how you got it. Best origin story will win free mobile fuel. Nicole's here to play first.

Hi, Nicole. Hi, Nicole. Hello, how are you? Good, thanks. What's your nickname? Sticky. Sticky. Oh!

We had a sticky last week. Did we? Yeah, remember Stick Thin? Good, thanks. What's your nickname? Sticky. Sticky. Oh. Sticky. We had a sticky last week. Did we? Yeah. Remember Stick Thin? Oh, that's right. Yeah. Sticky.

Sticky, Sticky. Oh, man. Nicole, Nikki. Nicole, Nikki. It's because your name is Nicole. Nicole, Nikki, Sticky. Is that what they call you? Nicole, Nikki, Sticky.

Is that what they call you, that? No, not quite, but it's funny. Wait, did you get bit by a radioactive spider? No. That's Spidey. I was just saying, because then she'd have Go Web Go, which is Sticky. Sticky bits. Yeah, right.

Far-fetched guess, but good one. Well, if that's not right either. Nicole's loving this. We're obviously way off. You're going to have to tell us. Why do they call you Sticky? Because I'm always getting myself into sticky situations. I tend to, like, not think before I speak.

And then, like, I'm like, oh, I'll be a smartass about something. And then it all, like, really backfires. Yeah, right. Sticky situations. Sticky. So I do it all the time. Sticky Nikki. And I can't help it because my mouth opens before my brain works.

Okay. All right, Sticky, wait there. We'll see if your story is better than Makia. Hi, Makia. Hi, Makia. G'day, guys. How are you? Good, mate.

Tell us your nickname. My nickname is Jeff. Jeff. My name's Jeff. My name is Jeff. My name is Jeff. Oh, he looks like... My name is Jeff. Is it because, oh, he looks like. My name is Jif.

Is it because, obviously, that's Channing Tatum's line on 21 Jump Street? Yeah. Does he look like Channing Tatum? Yeah, possibly. What does he love, 21 Jump Street? Nah, go with the Channing Tatum one. You reckon that's it? Yeah.

Makia, do you look like Channing Tatum? No, I wish I looked like Channing Tatum one. You reckon that's it? Yeah. Makia, do you look like Channing Tatum? No, I wish I looked like Channing Tatum. What do they call you, Jeff? They call me Jeff because back in school, can you guys remember Bro Town, that program from back in the day? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, so back in primary school through to high school,

I was like the only Māori in my group of friends, so they used to call me Jeff the Māori. Jeff the Māori. Yeah, right. Oh, that's not inventive. That is so inappropriate in 2020. Oh, casual racism. But Jeff, I mean, Makia, that is a great origin story,

and it's your origin story. But quite an interesting origin story, isn't it? Kylie, you're the last nickname for the week. What's your nickname? Stinger. Stinger. Stinger. Ooh, I like this. You know why?

Because I bet she's like a badass bee that you don't want to mess with because if you mess with her, she'll sting you. Stinger will sting you. Yeah. That's good and I'm glad that's where your mind went. Why, what did you go with? Hot curry.

Oh, stinger. Yeah, and I thought that's what you would default to. Why? What did you go with? Hot curry. Oh, stinger. Yeah. And I thought that's what you would default to. So it's like we've switched roles. Yes. Stinger. I like yours. Don't mess with her.

Don't mess with you. Because she'll sting you. Stinger. Do they call you Stinger because you'll sting you? No, I wish. Oh, it's the hot curry, isn't it, Nicole? I mean, Kylie. No, it's not hot curry, isn't it, Nicole? I mean, Kylie. No, it's not that either.

What is it? What is it? My last name is Ray, so like Sting Ray, they call me Stinger. Oh, I don't mind that. I like it. I quite like that. We were never going to get it. No, we were never going to get that. Anything to do with the last name, we're never going to get.

No, that's pretty impossible. Okay, Stingy gets herself in Stingy situations. Jeff the Maori was the only Maori at his school and Stinger has the last name Ray. Stinger Ray. Stinger Ray. I was going to say, is it because you love stingrays? Yeah.

I wasn't going to say that. Anyway, I reckon we give it to Markeia. Markeia, Jeff the Maori, congratulations. You've got some free mobile fuel this afternoon. Well done. No, wicked cheers, guys. No worries, mate. Appreciate you calling.

I hope that makes up for years and years of casual races in Markeia. And if it doesn't... Call back next week. I've thought of it for a long time, so it's great. A nurse in the UK has written a book about her most shocking experiences in 40 years on the job. God, wow. 40 years of nursing.

What an amazing service that woman has done for her community. Totally. 40 years. Yeah. And in my time in emergency rooms and stuff, you see how frantic those people are and how many people they will see in just one night. You imagine how many cases and people that this woman would have seen in 40 years of nursing.

Imagine how many times someone had to talk to her, how many times she had to console people. So you'd expect it to be a bloody good book, right? Yeah, I'd be buying it. Provided she made notes along the way. Because I can't remember half the stuff I did two years ago. So 40 years. Sometimes that's a good thing.

She has come out and said what she believes was the craziest thing Because I can't remember half the stuff I did two years ago. Yeah, sometimes that's a good thing. She has come out and said what she believes was the craziest thing that she had to deal with. She said one time she was assisting a GP, a doctor, and trying to help a couple, a married couple. Oh, no. Who couldn't get pregnant. Oh, I thought you were going to say retrieve the ring or couple. Oh, no. Who couldn't get pregnant. Oh, I thought you were going to say retrieve the ring or something. Oh, no.

I don't know why my father went there. The story's not graphic. Okay, great. You didn't tell me that beforehand. I was thinking like. So you went to retrieve the ring? Yeah, well, I was definitely thinking nurse crazy story, something definitely to do with that.

No, no, no, no. It's not graphic. So they're a married couple and they'd been married for a couple of years. Okay. And they were seeing the doctor because they said, we can't get pregnant. We don't know why we don't have a baby yet. Can I guess?

Yes. Did she offer to have the baby? No. Oh. No, that's way too crazy again. Well, that would have been amazing. The couple that she was working with didn't realise that to have a baby, you have to have sex.

I saw this story and I went, that's not real. It's in her book. It's attributed to her name. It's absolutely a real story. So she had to, and you've got to remember, this is 40 years of nursing, so it could have happened in the 70s. How old was she?

Before YouTube. YouTube, how to make baby. Yeah, well, I have happened in the 70s. How old were you? Before YouTube. YouTube. How to make baby. Yeah, well I'm sure that's YouTube before. The GP explained to the couple who had never done it. Indoor gardening. Indoor gardening, yeah. Sorry, I should

have used the code word from the start. That to have a baby you need to... Actually, indoor garden. Fertilise the garden. Yeah. Which was a shock to them. Wait, so what did they think that they had to do? They thought when you get married, you get pregnant. That's what they thought the process was. They said married people have kids, so when you get married,

you automatically just become pregnant. Do the FedEx people turn up and give you the kids? Yeah, you get it on your honeymoon. I don't know, they just figured that you get pregnant when you get married. Wow, that's wild. So the GP explained to the couple you need to do it to get pregnant and I'll leave you with the nurse. Yeah, but they don't know what it is.

Exactly. I'll leave you with the nurse who will teach you how to do it. So it was her job to teach the couple how. Oh, that poor woman. Oh, no. She had to teach a married couple How to do it How to do

No What did she do? Did she have props? She doesn't go into details I think you need to read the book for the details But she said the first couple of appointments Were quite awkward But after three visits

The couple couldn't keep their hands off each other Yeah I bet So Imagine Imagine Not knowing about one of the best things in the whole world. You get to how old and someone goes, and you go, what? I do what with what?

I haven't done this for the last 23 years and you're telling me now? The problem is if you're a health professional, you can't judge. No matter what you see, you can't judge the person. Well, I assume you can't judge the person. You can privately with your friends. You can judge as much as you like. But to their face, you have to go, okay, so you genuinely thought you could get pregnant without ever actually taking your clothes off.

That's normal. That's fine. God, how boring. I wonder how long they'd been married for. A few years before they came to the doctor. Does it say how old they were? No, it doesn't say how old they were. I'd love to know. So I wondered, are there nurses out there listening at the moment

who have stories from their job that they can share? Your wild nursing story. The story that you tell when you go to a party and someone says, what's the weirdest thing that's ever happened on your job? What's the weirdest thing you've seen? Do you want to share that with us this afternoon? Nurses unite. Here's your chance.

Yep. We're all ears. Yes. What is your craziest, wildest nursing story? No names, obviously. That's absolutely fine. And we don't even have to use your name either if you would prefer. It can be all anonymous.

You can call us on 0800DIALZM or you can text us on 9696. They're your work stories. Yeah. You might as well share them with us. I'm so keen for this. Give us a call or text us. Bree and Clint. A nurse in the UK has released a book and in there she says

one of the craziest things she had to deal with as a nurse was explaining to a married couple that you actually have to do it to have a baby. You can't just get married and automatically the children will be dropped off at your house. That's what they believed. That you get married and then you get pregnant. And there's no in-between step whatsoever. Have they

never seen like any movies or like, I just don't understand. Anyway, the doctor said it was her job to teach them. And she did. She's a professional and she taught them how to do it. And they were very grateful. I wonder how she taught them.

Yeah, right. Like what techniques or like what she used. What videos. What she would have said. What material she would have brought on. Can you imagine trying to explain it to a 20-year-old? Yeah. Like that'd be so bizarre.

Just give them a copy of Knocked Up and say, what they do, do that. But know each other first. But know each other first and alcohol is optional. Let's speak to someone who wants to remain anonymous first. Hello, anonymous. Hi, anonymous. Hi, how are you going?

Good, thanks. Are you a nurse? Yes, I am, yep. Amazing. Thank you so much for what you do. Thank you. What's the craziest thing that's happened to you in your career? So there's so many, but one that really stands out

is similar to what you were talking about just before. So we had a patient come in who was struggling to get pregnant and going through the consultation, realised that she was indoor gardening with two people, her husband and another individual, and was using an injectable contraception for the affair, and then wondering why she couldn't get pregnant to her husband. Oh, my God.

I'm confused. I'm confused. I'm confused. So she, and correct me if I'm wrong, Anonymous, so she was, you know how you can get a contraception where they inject you usually in the bum and it means that you can't get pregnant? Yeah, right. So she was using that for the affair.

Because of the boyfriend. But couldn't figure out why she wouldn't get pregnant to the husband. Oh, come on. Truly. True story. Jeez. Were you like, well, let me break this down.

Did she confess the affair and everything to you? Let me break this down for you. So she told you everything about the affair. She was completely honest. Yeah, she was completely honest that, yeah,

she was having an affair. But, yeah, couldn't understand the... The logistics. I think just didn't, yeah, just didn't have an understanding of the contraception

she was using. I hate to say it, but not rocket science. She's like, no, that's just... You say that, but that's just for that one particular guy, but the other guy it doesn't work for. I want to get pregnant to him. Yeah. Yeah. What? You must see the most amazing stuff. Okay, thank you

Anonymous. We're going to talk to Sophia as well. Hi, Sophia., Anonymous. We're going to talk to Sophia as well. Hi, Sophia. Hi. Hey. You're a nurse? Mm-hmm. Okay, all right.

What's your crazy story for us? So I work in emergency, and this lady had come in to get her dressings changed, and she got referred to us because she found that they had some maggots in her wound. So I went in to help the senior nurse because I just wanted to look. But I ended up being the one taking them out with tweezers both in hand and trying to find them in her skin.

And, like, they're all wriggling around. Oh! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No more, no more. I can't. I can't. No, no, no, no. I can't take it anymore.

Sevier had to do it. I know you did. And that's why I think you guys are the most amazing people ever. You have to have a strong stomach in your job anyway because of the stuff that you see. Was that a test for you? Was that right on the limit? Oh, yeah. I love the blood and gut, but this one really—

Maggots, you draw the line. Yeah, I was like, oh, might vomit, but I hold it in. Sophia, thank you so much. It's been a pleasure talking to you this afternoon. No line. Yeah, I was like, oh, might vomit, but I'll hold it in. Sophia, thank you so much. I've loved talking to you this afternoon. No worries. Oh, wow. They're amazing people, eh? Bree and Clint.

Time for Birthday Banger. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Bree and Clint's Birthday Banger. All right, this is where we tell you guys' birthdays and we figure out what was the number one song top of the charts on your 16th. Let's start with Joanne. Joanne, hi.

Hi, Joanne. Hi. How are you doing? Good, good. That's good. Let's do your birthday banger. What's your birthday? So I was an 80s teenager.

It was 14th of the 12th, 1973. All right. You were 16 in 1989 on the 14th of December. And Joanne, this is your birthday banger. Wow. Huge. Cher, If I Could Turn Back Time. Oh, awesome.

Do you love it? Yeah, yeah. I like Cher, yeah. I love Cher, Joanne. So I think yours is absolutely top notch. Let's go to Carl. Yeah, yeah. I like Cher, yeah. I love Cher, Joanne. So I think yours is absolutely top notch. Let's go to Carl. Hi, Carl. G'day, Carl.

Hi. What's your birthday, Carl? 22nd of March, 1994. All right, you were 16 in 2010 on the 22nd of March. And in 2010, this had a number one hit. Train. Hey, Soul Sister, what do you reckon, Carl? Yeah, it was okay.

I didn't mind this song from Train. Yeah. You're not going to whack it on at a party, though, and go, hey, guys, you want to hear my birthday banger? It's no Drops of Jupiter, is it? Exactly right. Okay, Carl, wait there. Last one is for Sinead.

Hi, Sinead. Hi. Hi. What's your birthday, Sinead? I was born on the 1st of June, 1991. All right, you were 16 in 2007 on the 1st of June. And in 2007, this reached the top of the charts. Hey, hey, hey, yeah, I don't like your girlfriend.

No, it's right, no, right. I think you need a new one. Hey, hey, hey, yeah, I don't like your girlfriend. Reach the top of the charts. Huge. My Who Sim from Avril. What do you think? It was definitely a banger back in the day. And it is a banger. It still is. Like, it's still a banger. So you've got a good birthday banger too.

Okay, wait there. We're choosing between Avril and Cher, right? I think so, yeah. Out of those two? Yeah. And you're going to, I'm going to look into my crystal ball, you're going to vote. Okay, yeah, tell me what I'm thinking. You're going to vote for Cher because you love her so much. And yeah, that Avril song

is good, but we play it every now and then. So that's why you have to go with your gut, and that's why you'll be voting for Cher this afternoon. I was actually thinking Avril. Oh, were you? Because me too. Yeah. I'm going for Avril Lavigne. Oh, okay, then we're synced up. Congratulations, Sinead. You just won birthday banger.

Awesome. Yay! We're finally synced up and we agree. Can I borrow some tampons from you? Yeah, sure thing, mate. They're in my handbag. You, you, I know that you like me. No way, no way. No, it's not a secret. Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your girlfriend. You're so fine, I want you mine, you're so delicious.

I think about you all the time, you're so addictive. Don't you know what I can do to make you feel all right? All right, all right, all right. Don't pretend, I think you know I'm damn precious. And hell yeah, I'm the mother f***ing princess I can tell you like me too, and you know I'm right She's like, so whatever You could do so much better I think we should get together now And that's what everyone's talking about

Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriends No way, no way I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend Hey, hey, you, you I know that you like me

No way, no way You know it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you I want to be your girlfriend I can see the way, I see the way you look at me And even when you look away, I know you think of me I know you talk about me all the time again and again So come over here and tell me what I wanna hear Better yet, make your girlfriend disappear

I don't wanna hear you say her name ever again And again, and again, and again Cause she's like so whatever And she can do so much better I think we should get together now And that's what everyone's talking about Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend

No way, no way Think you need a new about Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriends No way, no way I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend Hey, hey, you, you I know that you like me No way, no way You know it's not a secret

Hey, hey, you, you I want to be your girlfriend Oh, in a second you'll be wrapped around my finger Cause I can, cause I can do it better There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking? In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger Cause I can, cause I can do it better

There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? She's so stupid What the hell were you thinking? Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend No way, no way I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you

I could be your girlfriend No way, no way Hey, hey, you, you I don't like you like me No way, no way No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you I want to be, babe No way, no way No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you I want to be your girlfriend

No way, no way Hey, you, you I don't like to go back Right, now, right Think you need a new one Hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend No way, no way

Hey, hey, you, you I don't like to lie, babe No way, no way No, it's not a secret Hey, hey I don't like to lie No way, hey I'm a little nasty Hey, I want to be your girl No way, no way Sit in. Rianne Clayton, that's Avril and Girlfriend,

the winner of Birthday Banger this afternoon. Uh-huh. I want her to release some new music. Oh, yeah? You're not too gay? Um, I just... No, so do I. Change of mind, so do I.

Change of mind. This might be a dumb question. Yeah. She still with Chad Kroger? Hold on, I'm going to Google it. Remember she got together with Chad Kroger from Nickelback? I don't think she is, no. But let me Google it.

And then she got really sick as well. Yeah, the poor thing. Was it lupus? Yeah, I think she had Lyme disease. Yeah. They tied the knot in 2013. Oh, they fully got married, right? They divorced in 2015.

And instead of giving us some juicy breakup drama, they remained as friends. Oh. Oh. Good for them. They can still tour together. I'm glad they're still friends. Brie and Clint.

I was reading a news story today about The Voice Australia. Are you watching The Voice Australia? I've seen bits and pieces. Yeah, right. Delta Goodrum's one of the judges. Yeah, Kelly Rowland. Yes. Guy Sebastian.

Guy Sebastian, yeah. Who was the other one? Not sure, but Delta in particular is copping a bit of heat at the moment because live on TV, she's taken her shoes off and put her feet up on the desk.

I saw this. And everyone's seen perfect Delta Goodrum's grotty feet. There's a picture of it there. They're very filthy, aren't they? You've got to admit, they're very dirty feet. To be putting up on the table, those are very dirty feet. Yeah, I'd be real self-conscious.

Yeah. I would not put my feet up on the table. No, right? Feet are a very personal thing. Wait, has someone else got their feet up too? Nah. In that other picture? Oh, that's a weird... Ignore that.

Just focus on Delta's dirty feet. Because their feet are quite clean, whoever that is. Yeah, that's nice. That's nice for comparing them. They're such an intimate personal thing, your feet. And they're so rarely seen. I hate feet. Yeah, right? Don't like them.

That's where I got the inspiration today for the game. Rather than the voice, we're going to play The Feet. In studio for The Feet, you will see our judge, big gay, gorgeous elf. You said you were sitting in here just to hang out. And you believed me. Can you hear me? We can hear you.

Yeah, we can hear you. Can I just say, you want to talk about feet, so you're pulling the token homosexual on the show. I don't know what you're saying here. No, no, I'm saying you know us both, and you're going to be inspecting an intimate part of our body, so you're the right person for this job. Yes, I will act unbiased.

You know, Alan and I have filmed a movie skit with my toes before. Really? Yeah, E.T., phone home. Well, then maybe he's going to choose your feet in this game of The Feet. It was grim. Bree, please remove your shoes and socks. Do I have to do both? Because one of my feet is better than the other.

Yeah, you're going to need to do both. Do you have one that you think is hotter than the other? No, I've never inspected my feet for hotness, but today we get to find out. So if you'll whip off shoes and socks. Oh, this isn't nice. I'll do the exact same thing. Does smell come into it? Absolutely. Actually, let's ask our judge. Big Gay Gorgeous Al is smell a factor? I hope not. I hope not. I like you guys. I don't want to disrespect you. It feels nice with your shoes off in here. Okay, we're going to start with the first contestant

on the feet. Brie Thomasel. Please inspect Brie's feet. On the chair, please. On the table. I am not touching those. I totally have my dad's feet and they're not good. Okay, I'm just going to say lockdown has been gone for a while.

You could have got a pedicure at some point. You know, I've had a pedicure since lockdown. It doesn't look like it. Okay, based on first impressions here, do you know like the thumb in Spy Kids? Your toes look like the thumb from Spy Kids. That's so mean. What about my second toe?

My ET toe? It creeps me out. That is long, isn't it? Can you critique the toenails for us, please? Big Gay Gorgeous out. Oh, no. Not bad. Okay, that was a rush job.

They're not dirty, though. No, they're not dirty. I will say the base of your feet are quite clean. Is it clean? Yeah, you've got a bit of, is it called callus on this foot here? I think you might have to get a shoe insert. Yeah.

Do I? But I'm going to say they're clean. Oh, that's not bad. Look. No, don't wave them at me. I'm not the judge. Excuse me. Most people don't clean their feet in the shower,

but based on first inspection, you do soap down there, so that's nice. I do. The final criteria, and I know you don't want to do this one. No, I'm not sniffing it. It's the smell test. Sniff it. If you love me, you'll sniff it. How do. The final criteria, and I know you don't want to do this one. No, I'm not sniffing it. It's the smell test. If you love me, you'll sniff it. How do we know if you're going to turn around if you don't do the smell test?

Should he smell the sock? No, no, I'm not doing that. We have boundaries here. Smell again. Smell the foot. Go on, smell the foot. Smell again, ready? Smell the foot. It doesn't smell like anything. Yes!

That means it's good. All right, that's the judging of Bree's feet complete in this round of the feet. Your turn. All right, now my turn, Big Gay Gorgeous. I'll come judge my feet. Sorry, I'm just going to say, Clint, you've got a special spot on my brain.

Yeah. And if I look at your feet, I'm going to probably wreck that, so I'm opting out now. See ya. Just Bree's feet, that's fine. Bree's feet will be the only ones competing in the feet. I don't think I've ever seen your feet before. You could audition for The Hobbit.

Excuse me. You're the feet of the... Yours are the feet that are on... Display. I'll be E.T. You be The Hobbit. Yeah. I just want to preface this whole thing.

Any gays that I'm potentially dating at the moment, I do not have a feet fetish, so... Get out of here. You could have fooled us. You knew a lot. Bree and Clint, that's the feet. Bree and Clint. I'm so excited for this next break.

And look, just gear yourself up because I know it's not for everyone, but this is a real news story that is doing the rounds today. We can be mature. If it's in the news, we this is a real news story that is doing the rounds today. We can be mature. If it's in the news, we can be mature. Yeah, of course, of course. And this is coming out of Austria in Vienna, and he has actually been fined by the police. Who has?

A man who reportedly was offending public decency. Yeah. Which, I mean, that's very vague. Yeah, very vague. Don't really know what that is. So I was like, I need to know more. What was he doing? Because he was fined about $1,300.

Okay. So I looked into it and apparently the man had behaved in a provocatively and uncooperative way during an encounter with the officers. Apparently he was sitting on a park bench and he... Okay, hold on. I thought you said we're going to be mature about this. No, no, no, I'm not doing it on purpose.

He was sitting on a park bench. He looked at the officers. Yeah. And then he let a massive fart go. But they described it. He let go a massive intestinal wind, apparently with full intent to piss the officers off. Right, okay.

Can you not refer to it as intestinal wind, please? That's what's in the story! Anyway, I thought, you know, I mean, I've never heard of someone being fine for farting, but that really puts fear, like, into me. Oh, you're a...

I could be, you know... You were instantly extremely arrestable. Yeah. Just for going outside. I'd be suspect one. You're a fugitive. So I thought I literally am on the loose because I've let one go on the loose. I thought what we could do because it says, you know, what's the difference between like a normal fart to one that pretty much you can get fined for by the police?

So I thought what we can do this afternoon is that I actually have a line-up. You know when... We're not doing this. No. You know when obviously you get suspects. Yeah, I know. I know what you're talking about, a police line-up. It's a police line-up.

So what you have to do is you have to pick which one is the most offensive one that would get you fined by police. I know we're going to lose a lot of people, but come on. We're being creative. Just hear me out. Are we? No, we are. Are we?

Here we go. We've caught some suspects. And here comes suspect number one. Now, do you need to hear all of them before you can pick the most offensive? No, that's offensive. Arrest that person. That person's arrested. No, you got it wrong.

No, it's done. It's arrested. No, you got it wrong. Let's move on to suspect number two. That's disgusting. Yeah, arrest that person too. All right. If they're being arrested for being offensive,

they're arrested. No, because I actually got this audio from the police over in Austria and one of these comes down as more offensive than others. Right. How much of this do you want me to believe? Let's go with suspect number three. Yeah, he seems shady. I was going to let that person go until the high note at the end.

No, they're arrested. Now that we're here and we're doing it on air This is your idea Alright, one more suspect No, I'm happy to abandon it if you are No, I'm happy to abandon it No, I think this is good so that people can learn What farts are appropriate in public

Yeah, let's abandon it Let's abandon shit