ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – June 5th 2019

Episode Date: June 5, 2019

When did you realise you were old?Dean McCarthy live from LABeyonce is in the LionKingWhat do you wish they taught you at school?A tank for saleWeather update from Mamma DiSickie Hotline!Who has seen your camera roll?Birthday Banger!NeutralizerHow to sext?FetishSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kia ora everybody and welcome to the Bree and Clint podcast, an adults only introduction to the podcast today. Where my people at? If you're gathered around the dinner table and um, what was that? What? That thing, where my people at? Where my people at? Is that your new intro for the podcast? I don't know.

Can be. Just came out. I'll encourage you to stick with it. Just, I was just going to say, if you're listening to the Bree and Clint podcast around the dinner table with the family today, maybe hit the 15 second skip thing about six times. Yeah. Because a little bit of adults only chat at the start. Not family chat.

Look, if you listened to the podcast yesterday, we talked about how long it takes women to cross the finish line. In the bedroom. Yeah, in a two-person race. Or a three-person race. Or a solo race. Or maybe, yeah, multiple-person race. Yeah, maybe full track meet. Whatever floats your boat.

On top of that, this didn't make the show because it's a little bit too, yeah, raunchy. But I thought we'd bring it to the podcast intro. There's an article that's been released about five reasons or the biggest five reasons they say women like to fake it. Oh, pretend to cross the finish line. Yeah. And trust me, it happens. A lot. A lot.

Okay. All right. We're talking, there's statistics about how often women fake it across the finish line and how often men fake it across the finish line. Very hard for a man to fake it, by the way. Quite hard, but they say that men, statistics come in at 32%. Really? 32% of men or 32% of the time?

Said that they have once before. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Females? Don't say 100. No. It's actually not that bad, 75%. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Females? Don't say 100. No. It's actually not that bad. 75%. Oh, yeah.

And the other 25% are faking their answer. Exactly. And then they've given some reasons. There's a lot of reasons, obviously, that could have come up, but these are the top five, apparently, according to this article. One, which I totally get this one, as to why women fake it.

To please a partner. Yeah. Because you want to make your partner feel good about themselves. Yeah. You know, you don't want them to feel like they've failed. A loser. What are you doing? Although, although, can I just...

Get your head in the game! If you don't... Literally. Open lines of communication are key. And if you don't express how you're feeling Then it's never going to get any better And you know what? I'm so against it

Because it obviously will never help people in the long run At the same time, the reverse of that They don't want you to finish it and then go So that was shit for me Yeah, like you don't do that There's got to be a line somewhere in the middle Okay, that's reason number one Reason number two

And this is quote from a lot of females To just get it over with I knew that was gonna be one Oh no Does that count if you're tired? You're like I just wanna go to sleep Maybe Maybe

I think deep down a lot of guys know that Like You reckon? Yeah And they don't care? Yeah No not that they don't They should care more they don't care no no they should they should care you really but if you've already resigned yourself to the fact that you just want to get

this over and done with how we need to change your mind obviously isn't that great then yeah yeah yeah even if i'm tired takes two to tango though yeah true get your head in the game But usually someone has got two left feet Number three, embarrassment Right, that's sad Yeah Embarrassed of their own body? So it says here, women avoid letting male partners know that he's failed to appease the mood Oh, man's embarrassment Yeah, she doesn't want to embarrass him

It's very similar to number one Or her, to embarrass him It's very similar to number one Or her Whatever Yeah that's very similar to number one Yeah kind of very similar Yeah Number four is interesting It says

We're taught that it's easy And normal to always Cross the finish line Cross the finish line So they're saying that's why What's reason number four? Education I don't know Social conditioning Yeah Is that what it is? So they're saying that's why. What's reason number four? Education.

Social conditioning. Yeah. Is that what it is? Oh, that was a very smart term. Yeah, I've been reading a psychology book. I bet you have. And the last one as to why females fake passing the finish line, because it's a one-night stand. Oh.

And you're never going to see him again God I would have thought That's the time when you would have Really doubled down and gone Hey buddy I don't know you You Me

Nor likey I'm never going to see you again I came here for results So I need you to Wake up Wake up Get your bloody head in the game Gary Wake up

We're going again Okay We are going again And a one And a. And a one. And a two. And a one, two, three, four. Wake up! Stop sleeping.

Wake up! And also, can your thing wake up? Much heart. You can't give that a Red Bull and vodka. Okay, here we go. Here's the podcast, everybody. Here we go. Enjoy.

Zidane. Let's go. Now let me see you dance ZM's Brie And Clint Woo Hi everyone

Isn't it annoying When your radio show Gets in the way of an intervention Brie we're just Brie and I Were just having another conversation About her problem This is not an on air conversation

But it should be I feel like You know at a real intervention You bring the family in You get home And the whole family's there In the living room and they say, Bree, we need to talk. And we do need to talk about your online shopping. Just a little bit.

Just a little bit. All I said was, how good is the Iconic? I purchased something this morning online and I get it tomorrow. So we arrived back from LA at work yesterday and I do believe there was a package here waiting for you. Was there? Yeah. Oh, you don't even remember. That's the thing. And then she goes, oh God, how good's the Iconic? I've just ordered

another package and it's going to be here tomorrow morning. It's like Christmas every day. That's what fuels the addiction. And you never even have to pull your card out because if you've got PayPal, you just put in your password and boom, it's like I'm not spending any money. You've got one of those computers that's got your fingerprint scanner in it

so you can pay for things without even putting any details in. You just scan your thumbprint in the computer. Technically, the clothes... It's all enabling. It's all enabling you. That's the problem. Technically, the clothes are free. That is one of the worst things I've ever heard you say as far as your addiction goes. You know what's something I like to do just for fun sometimes? Buy multiple train driver hats and then never wear them.

I like to go on really expensive websites like Gucci and I'll put like a bunch of stuff in my cart. So I'll be like, I'll have that. I'll have that. And then I go to the cart, shopping cart and I'll be like, delete. See that again, that is very dangerous for someone who has autopay on their laptop because one day you're going to slip and you're accidentally going to pay $5,000 for a Gucci jacket. Yeah, they don't take returns either.

No, they're not like the iconic, no. I don't think Gucci and ASOS have the same returns policy. They don't? Does your Gucci jacket, when you buy it, does it come with a spare courier bag so you can send it back if you don't quite like it? Does it also come with extra buttons? Because I do love when it comes with extra buttons. Today on the show, oh, this is exciting.

So there's new Lion King trailer out. You and I haven't watched it yet, but for the first time you get to hear Beyonce as Nala. Just before four o'clock we're going to play that. I've got no idea what she's going to sound like. I imagine she'll sound a little bit like Beyonce and hopefully a little Beyonce as Nala. Just before four o'clock, we're going to play that. I've got no idea what she's going to sound like. I imagine she'll sound a little bit like Beyonce and hopefully a little bit like Nala. It'll sound something like,

Kelly, you ready for this? Simba, are you ready for this? Rafiki, are you ready for this? Mufasa, I don't think you can handle this. You ready for this? Hopefully that's exactly what it sounds like. Yeah, cool. Other than that, we're going to talk about how old we feel next.

I've come to the realisation that I'm old, and I'll tell you the exact reason. It's good. We'll do it together. Here's Lalf, Bree and Clint. Bree and Clint, the podcast. I've been having a few moments lately, Clint, where I've started to realise that I'm old.

Oh, is it that thing when you crouch down and both your knees click really loud? No, that happened to me when I was like 16. Same. What is it about, eh? I don't know. I think it's air leaving your joints. Oh, okay. I think that's what it is. Some people are more proned. Right, okay. Oh, well, that's right then. But there's been a few

moments recently that have really just reiterated to me that I'm out of my prime. Yeah, you're over the hill. I'm over the hill. I'm in that different age group where people look at me and they go, oh, she's like old and stuff. Why is she here?

Yeah. Why is she in the club? I thought I'd rattle off a few things, and I want to see if you're with me on this. Okay. Where these are moments lately where I've realised I'm old. I love this song. Of course. You know what?

It's a clear sign that you're old. Exactly. Moments I realised I was old. When I got really excited yesterday about buying a new vacuum cleaner. Oh, yeah. Embrace that feeling, though. Because as you get older, that feeling only intensifies.

I'm about three years older than you, and new vacuum cleaner day. Gets you going. It's better than Christmas. Hell, yeah. Realised I was old when pretty much every day that I drink, the day after,

the adult hangover. Girl, trust me, get ready for the day after the day after as well. What, they continue? They get longer and longer. What? Two day hangovers. Yeah. In fact, if you're listening, retire from drinking at 26.

Just quit. It's so much worse, the hangover when you get that little older. Yeah, 100%. Terrible. Moments I realised I was old recently when a teenager called me ma'am. And I literally looked behind me and went, oh, he's referring to me. You're at the express checkout at Countdown and he's like, do you have your gold card, ma'am?

I'm 29. God damn it. I'm 29. I know you're 29. Would you like me to get you a Zimmer frame? Did you make it around the supermarket by yourself? I was not impressed. Moments I realised I was old recently.

When producer Ben told me that State of Origin kicks off at 10pm tonight, and I thought, ooh, that's a bit late. Might have to VCR that one. A bit late. You're totally right, though. I'm not coming to your house tonight because it doesn't start until 10pm. That's right. No.

Because it's too late. I don't go out after that time anymore. Exactly. Especially not on a weeknight. Past my adult bedtime. Are you crazy? It's a weeknight. The last moment I realised I was old recently is when I woke up with a sore back.

I didn't do anything. I literally was laying. I didn't do anything. I literally was laying. I was laying in bed. Then I woke up and I have a sore back. This is something that old people talk about. I've never heard a teenager talk about this. Oversleeping. You probably overslept.

I can't lay for too long or else I get a sore back. Yeah, that's why old people get up so early because they've got to get the joints moving. Otherwise, the whole thing seizes up. You can't get more than eight hours once you're over the 30 hump. It's a real thing. Like if I lay in bed too long, I get a sore back. Look, you can feel old at any age as well.

That's the other thing. You could be 21 right now and you could be feeling old. That's absolutely fine. It's just a moment. It's just a moment. Something that happens. Yeah, you could be 45 and feeling old. You are old.

Oh, they're not old. Well, you feel old at 29. I'm trying to preempt it so when we get there. Oh, right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Don't worry, we're on the hits by then and we'll be young again. 0800 dial ZM.

When did you realise you were old? What was the moment for you that made you realise, oh, I'm old? You can text us your moments as well. If you know how to text. Yeah. 9696, or like we said, 0800 dial ZM. Give us a call this afternoon. Let's go over it together.

When did you realise you were old? ZM's Bree and Clint, the podcast. ZM, Bree and Clint. Think of this as your early bird special You know Old people radio Yep I've had a few moments recently where I've realised

Oh god, I'm old Like right now, my legs are crossed And I've crossed them for too long so now my hips hurt You know what you've got to do You've got to do that old person thing where you switch legs But you've got to do it like real pain And pull one leg up And then put the other one over and go And so you go, but you've got to do it like real pain, like, and pull one leg up and place it down and then put the other one over and go, ah, yeah. And then you go,

well, this is where I'm going to be for the next 45 minutes. We want to know, what was the thing that made you realise you were old recently? What was the moment? Maybe it was because you get excited when the news comes on. Oh, maybe you get excited when the news comes on oh maybe you get excited when the chase comes on i do love the chase because then you're like oh it's time for dinner it's good there's so many good texts on this as well yeah someone has texted through and they said i knew i was old when i was driving to work this morning and i saw that some kids on their way to school and i thought oh my god aren't they cold where are their jackets i'm 26 i have the same

feeling like I saw Ellie wore shorts to work today and I'm like You even made a comment. Cover up. You're going to catch your death of cold. Jess is here. Hey, Jess. Oh, hey. The defining moment for me turning 29 was I called

noise control on my noisy neighbours. Yeah, you did, Jess. And did it feel good, Jess? Oh, it was, it was, I felt, I felt betraying, like I was betraying my own kind. I was like, I'm on night shift, I've got to sleep, man. Because I remember when I used to get noise control called on me, you know, back when I used to need it. Oh, and you were the sinners.

Yeah, but you would always go, oh, who are these neighbours? Why don't they just come over and tell us to our face? Like, honestly, we'll turn it down if you speak to us. And now that you are the one who calls, hell no, I'm not going over there. Hell no, I'm not putting myself in that line of fire. Also, I'm not getting out of my dressing gown. Am I right, Jess? Oh, yeah, definitely.

Oh, how good's a dressing gown? That's when you know you're old, when you've got a favourite dressing gown. I love this text. Someone's texted through, when did you realise you were old? And someone said, definitely when I found a grey hair down there. Oh, yeah. Wow.

I was devastated and I discovered male waxing not long after that. I was going to say, wait till you start balding down there. Is that a thing? Oh, God. Can I have that now? Can you get a recita?

Yeah, actually, that's really kind of desirable. A recita? Hi, Darren. How are you guys? How's it going? Going, that's really kind of desirable. A recita! Hi, Darren. How are you guys? How's it going? Going well, mate. First of all, how old are you? Oh, crap.

That's a prime example. I'm 28. Oh, you're 28. And when did you realise? He forgot how old he was. Oh, well, there you go. Cool. And when did you realise you were old?

It hit me about a year and a half ago when I was car shopping and I was more worried about the fuel economy than the look of the car. No, that's good. Also, the safety rating. Did you investigate the safety rating? How many airbags did she have, Dad? Oh, it's got two airbags at the front, no side ones though. Okay.

Like you still knew how many it had. Yeah. On the Diggs machine, when did you realise you were old? Someone said, when I had to change my font size on my phone to large.

Oh, I'm dreading that day. I've got quite good eyesight now, but that's coming. Like, I look at everybody in my family

who's got glasses and I'm like, it's only a matter of time. Yeah, old people font. Tony, when did you realise you were old?

About five minutes ago when you guys said that 45 was old. Sorry, when did you realise you were old? About five minutes ago when you guys said that 45 was old. Sorry, sorry Tony. I don't listen to the hits. I don't listen to the hits. We're glad you're here. What are they playing on the hits at the moment?

Nothing. How old are you? 52. You sound like you're not a day over 48. Tony? Thank you very much, mate. What was it like when the dinosaurs were still here? Well, there wasn't much vegetation around, to be fair. Yep. What was it like when ZM was still in black and white?

Well, I remember when it was still AM. Tony. Tony, you're not helping. You're not helping yourself. What's your advice to anyone who is, like the guy who rang up before, he's 28 and he feels old. What's your advice for him who is, like the guy who rang up before, he's 28 and he feels old. What's your advice for him? Don't get any older.

There you go. We're all on the same boat, everybody. Enjoy it. You've got My Sky on Coro series link. Because sometimes it's just too late. Sometimes you've got to go to bed. Honestly, my back is still sore. You need a wheat pack.

Seriously, does anyone have a good car in practice? Brie and Clint, the podcast. ZM. Live from Hollywood with our man on the ground, Dean McCarthy. Spy.co.nz. Dean, tell us which celebrity has bought a $1 million car. Okay, I didn't see this coming.

His name is Tracy Morgan. You would remember him from 30 Rock. He's a comedian. He's hilarious. Today, okay, walks in, drops a million bucks on a new Bugatti convertible. They are handmade, these cars. Drives it out of the dealership, bang,

runs into an Uber. Oh! Down the road, bang, into an Uber. Honda CR-V, the leg gets out, and she's like, oh, hi, doll. Well, she didn't say that, but I thought that was a cute little way. She probably said something a bit more dramatic. But there you go. And you know what?

It's probably lost like $500,000 worth of value because now it's a damaged car. Who wants a damaged regarding? And it's now a second-hand car. And we all know once you drive it out of the lot, it loses half of the value anyway. Handmade cars need to be hand-repaired. She's like, oh, sorry, babes. I think you've crashed your Bugatti into my Honda. And that's why I drive a Honda.

And that's the only reason why I don't have a Bugatti. The Honda always comes off the best. Yeah, right? Always. Does part of you, this is really mean, but part of you goes, well, that's your fault for buying a million dollar car. No one needs a million dollar car. I don't care how famous you are.

No one needs a million dollar car. Exactly right. I'd love one, though. Also, Dean, Fergie, what's happening with Fergie? Yeah, Fergie, of course, Fergie and Josh Dermell, Dermell, I can never pronounce his name, they, of course, split recently,

and now they have filed official divorce documents. She's going back to her original surname. Her last name is not Fer. She's not Fergie Fer. Fergalicious? It's not Licious. Is it Fergalicious Diff? Is her last name Diff?

No, her last name is Stacey Ann Ferguson. She's going back to her original boring name. It doesn't have anything to do with Stacey, but it's not. What? She's going back to Stacey Ann Ferguson? Yeah. Her name is Fergie Stacey Ann Ferguson. That's when you realise you're old, when Fergie's changing her name to that. Good for Fergie and that guy from Transformers.

At least they're moving on with their lives and they're happy. I hope they're happy. She's hot too. She's hot too. She's hot too. Is she still in Black Eyed Peas? Nobody knows. That is Dean McCarthy. He's live from Hollywood.

He's our Hollywood correspondent. Spies brought to you by Samsung. The Samsung Galaxy S10 Next Generation Galaxy is out now and you can win one by watching our LA video on the ZM Online Facebook page.

ZM Spree and Clint, the podcast. The whole world is on the countdown to the new Lion King movie. Went and saw Rocketman on the weekend, and this was one of the trailers they showed beforehand. I've already seen the trailer on YouTube, but to see it on the big screen, God, it looks good. It's coming out very soon, next month. Baby Simba, very cute.

Adult Simba, weirdly hot for a lion. He was hot in the cartoon too. It's weird, eh? He was hot in the original. How's a lion hot? How are you attracted to a lion? Who was hotter, Mufasa or Simba, adult Simba? Hard.

I feel like maybe adult Simba because he was younger. He's younger, yeah. Mufasa was more of those daddy vibes. What are we talking about? How hot the lions were in The Lion King. A new trailer has just dropped today and you and I, Bree, have not watched it yet. I wanted to do this together

because this one focuses more on Nala. And of course, in this version of The Lion King, Nala's played by Queen Bee, Beyonce. This is massive. Like, Beyonce, she literally is the queen of the jungle. Yes, yep, yep. So it's the perfect, I think, the perfect casting for Nala. We're going to get to hear Beyonce as Nala together.

Before then, Producer Ben, you've watched the trailer, yes? The new trailer? Yeah, I've watched it. Yeah, it's very good. It's like the new TV spot. It's only 30 seconds. Oh, so it's short. We don't get a lot.

Yeah, I've only given you 10 seconds because it's mainly just sound effects. But it is majoritively just for Beyonce to get that voice out there. The soundtrack of this movie. I hope they put Elton in here. Yeah, I hope they get Elton out there. The soundtrack of this movie. Yes. I hope they put Elton in here. Yeah, I hope they get Elton in there as well. They should, hey. They should, yeah. Here it is, everybody.

This is Beyonce as Nala in the new Lion King movie. Simba, you have to take your place as king. Come home. Who run the world? Nala. I've got goosies. It's good. It's very good.

She's made Nala like very sultry. Like listen to that Simba right at the start. Listen. Simba. Simba. If you remember, Nala was also very sultry in the original. Oh, you had a thing for Nala as well? She was hot too, yeah.

Oh, true. You would like both of them. I'll take either or. Who's playing Simba? Oh, there's lots of people. Is it Donald Glover who plays adult Simba? Is he playing adult Simba?

He's not going to play baby Simba. Oh, no. He's an adult man. Oh, how good if Jay-Z played adult Simba. That would be fun. And then him and Nala

get together. You're crazy for this one, Nala. We'll stop. Was that? Who was that? That was a Jay-Z. Was it? Yeah.

You're crazy for this one, Nala. Have you ever heard him talk? Have you? That was good. That was good. That was good. Young. You ready ready B?

Text in 9696 That was a good Jay-Z wasn't it? That was not good mate It was Jay-Z as Simba You've got to imagine it's me doing Jay-Z doing Simba That was as good as some of my impersonations on here I want you to think back to school for a second, and you can do this if you're listening as well. Something that you learnt at school that you had to learn, you had to study, maybe you

even got tested on it, and since you left school, you haven't used it once. All my knowledge on To Kill a Mockingbird. You haven't used To Kill a Mockingbird? No, I can't say I've used a lot of my knowledge on that book in everyday life. Yeah, weird. Weird, eh? I'm going to check out their algebra.

There hasn't been a lot of occasions where I've been at the supermarket and I've gone, can I afford the cotton softs or just the earth care this week? You know what? I think I'll use algebra. Hasn't been a huge help to me. Hasn't been?

Producers, what's something you guys learned at school that's been absolutely no use to you? Ben? Imaginary numbers and calculus. Imaginary numbers? Yeah, you use them in a seat, I know. I don't know why I'd use it. Have you used your FX82 scientific calculator since you left school?

Remember how you had to have a scientific calculator? I did. They weren't cheap either. I did the Dumber Maths, so I never had to have one of those. Oh, right. Everyone's got it on their phone now. And guess what we learnt in the Dumber Maths? What?

We learnt tax returns. So, boom. Oh. I bet they're not learning that in the Harder Maths. It's because they knew you were all going to turn out. You're jealous as if you're jealous. It's because in Dumb Maths, they thought you were all going to turn out. You're jealous as if you're jealous. It's because in dumb maths they thought you were all going to turn out to be criminals.

So they're like, don't do tax fraud. We know you guys are going to do crime. Just don't do that one. The penalties are really harsh. Producer Ali, something you haven't used that you had to learn at school. Yes, there's a theme here. I was basically going to say any form of maths after year three. You know, like year one, two and three, easy. Multiplication, all of that.

I need it. Soon you'll leave your times, two and three, easy. Multiplication, all of that. I need it. Soon do you leave your times tables. Yeah, then I'm done. Graduate me. Do you remember long division? Yeah. What a punish. What is the sum of the angles in a hypotenuse triangle?

Who cares? Unless your job is building triangle houses. Is that going to help me how to use the washing machine? No. This is good news from our Lord and Saviour, Jacinda Ardern, an announcement from the government that they are ploughing $3.5 million into subjects that you might actually use at school.

Here's what it includes from Jacinda. How often have you guys talked about things like budgeting, how credit card works, how loans work, what happens if you get a student loan, what happens if you sign up to a tenancy agreement?

We want you to have a chance to learn about all of those things. So that's our plan. It's brilliant. Genius. Budgeting is a huge one. No one knows how to budget.

No. You just spend your money until it's gone and then you go, where did my money go? Although it is a lot more fun without a budget. Yeah. Until the point where you have no money for food.

Say if you get paid twice weekly, it's fun not having a budget for the first week. And the second week you're like, God, why don't I know how to budget? What are some things you wish they taught in school? I really wish they taught you how to buy a house. It sounds boring, but I wish they taught you No, it is boring. It is boring. But then you'd have somewhere to live. Yeah. You know? I wish they taught you how to buy a house like it sounds boring but i wish they'd taught you no this is boring this is it is boring but then you'd have somewhere to live yeah you know i wish they taught

you how to make good cocktails i mean how many times when you're hosting a party would you love to know how to make a really nice mojito yeah that that is good they could put that in home economics yes um do they have have to change home economics these days because they taught you how to cook? Yeah. Is it more they teach you how to- See, there's a subject that was actually good. Useful, right?

Do they have to modernise it for 2019? Is it how to prepare your My Food Bag menu if you don't have the recipe card? They just cook My Food Bag in there? Yeah. That's good. Did you all bring your My Food Bag? Nadia Lim is the tutor.

She's just on a video screen. But it'd work. It'd be way more useful than... It'd be great. Do you remember when they had sewing in home economics? Yeah, a girl in my class put the sewing needle on the machine right through her fingernail out the other side of her finger. That happened to you in

my class too? I think it happened in every class. So instead of sewing, they now put in their how to shop online. How to use the online checkout facility. How to Google for discount codes when you're online shopping. Yeah, how to set up PayPal.

Oh, 800 dials at him this afternoon. That's great news from Jacinda. Maybe there's more subjects that are needed. Like how to buy a bra. How to find out if your bra fits. How to buy the proper bra. Like we need to know that. How to apply your deodorant.

For some people, not for all people, but there are some people I know that could use that class. And you could apply that in high school. 0800 dial ZM. Let's put the list together. Let's form the official how-to adult curriculum. What do you wish they had taught you when you were at school that would have been way, way more useful

than the stuff you did actually learn? I can't wait to hear some of these. 9696, you can text them in too. ZM Spree and Clint, the podcast. School is in session. And you might actually like this version of school because you might learn something good. Jacinda Ardern has come out and they said they're going to pour $3.5 million into teaching school kids stuff they'll actually use, like this. How often have you guys talked about things like budgeting,

how credit card works, how loans work, what happens if you get a student loan, what happens if you sign up to a tenancy agreement? We want you to have a chance to learn about all of those things. So that's our plan. They should teach you how to use the cloud. Because no one bloody knows how to use that thing. I agree, but I think that's too much pressure to put on our nation's teachers. They have to learn how to use the cloud first. True, and no one knows how to use that thing.

Unless we're going to fly Steve Jobs in to personally teach you how to use the cloud. And that's hard because... Well, he's dead, isn't he? Is he? That's not a funny joke. Let's dead, isn't he? Is he? That's not a funny joke. Let's go and find out what you wish you could learn at school. What do we put in our how-to adult class?

AJ? Oh, g'day, mate. Oh, g'day, mate. AJ, mate, you're back. How are you? We're going all right. Are you still school age? No.

No? What do you wish they'd taught you when you were at school? I reckon, reckon like banking and just making payments and like just scheduling and stuff like that would be beautiful. How to make money on the stock market. How to make money quickly.

Yes. That would be good. If only. Yeah, how to manage an overdraft. Because that's the thing about banks now. You just spend the money and it just keeps going and then they go, here's your $150 bill for your overdraft. How big does the overdraft go? I didn't ask for an overdraft.

You guys just gave this to me. I was just using the card until it stopped. I thought eventually you guys would cut me off. This one on the text machine is quite sad. But also, good point, at school they wish that they taught how to deal with heartbreak. Oh, you know, I didn't enjoy my time at a Catholic high school that much for the Catholic aspect, but they did teach you about that stuff. There was a segment in religious studies where they taught you about how to deal with grieving and stuff like that.

So, geez, that was weirdly sincere for a second. Hi, Bethany. Hi. What do you wish... Sorry. What was that? What do you wish they taught you at school, Bethany? What should we put in our how to adult class?

How to deal with baby punamis, how to raise a normal child, and boneless, natural contraceptive, plus parent respect skyrocket. Damn, Bethany, you should be the teacher by this time. Have you been writing these down? You are a teacher. Okay, that's great. Can I ask as someone with a baby on the way, how do you

deal with a baby poonami? Shower. Just straight up. Don't even muck around. Just full on bath. Get in the shower. That's smart. And throw the clothes away. I was thinking turn the washing machine on and then just hold the baby on the top Get in the shower. That's smart. And throw the clothes away. I was thinking turn the washing machine on and then just hold the baby on the top of the washing machine. Just do some dunks?

Yeah, just as the washing machine's going around, just kind of dunk it in and out. Cindy, school's in session. We are putting together the curriculum for how to adult. What do we have to include? Introduction to trades, I reckon. Trades? Yeah, like, you know, just basic mechanics,

so you know how to pump your fuel. Oh, right, right, right. Like changing a tyre. Carpentry, you know, just the basic. Carpentry. I have thought to myself, Cindy, I wish I could knock up a side table. Yeah.

Quite easy. It's not too hard. Exactly. It would save a lot of trips to freedom. You're absolutely right there. The amount of times I've thought that to myself. I need a new dinner table. Do I buy one or do I make it?

I did learn it in that class. On the text machine, someone said, I wish they taught in school teenage boys how to change their sheets. You laugh, but as a former teenage boy, just give us a time frame. How long would you go? Just give us a time frame. I don't...

No, how long would you go? Back then? Month? That's not bad. I don't think it's that bad. Was that summer or winter? Why? What does that change?

It changes things. Does it? When are you dirtier? In summer? Summer, because you're sweating in the bed. Right. What if you're a wriggly sleeper? It's a year-round cesspit of your own skin.

Did you just say a wriggly sleeper? Yeah. I'm a wriggly sleeper. That's not a term. I am. I'm sleeping with an earthworm. Sorry. Sorry, Lucy.

Clint's wife. I'm a wriggly sleeper. She knows. She found out early and she stuck around. Bless her soul. Rosalie, you're the last one. Welcome to this really weird conversation. Hi.

Hi, Rosalie. What do you wish they taught you in school? How to feed two people for $30 a week. Oh, yeah. Two people. Yeah, I have a son that's three. Oh, right, right, right, right, right, right, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, or just how to feed yourself in general without spending $10 a meal at Burger Fuel, right? Love Burger Fuel. Exactly. You can't survive going there every single day, can you? No, it's not good for you. I do love this one last text. It says, maybe it's just me,

but I wish they taught me how to flirt at school. Would be very helpful. Kind of an awkward subject for your teacher to have to teach you though, isn't it? Brie and Clint, the podcast, ZM. Brie, you might be interested in this. Remember when you bought the Venute off Facebook? Well, I've got someone joining us on the show. Makere's here.

Hi, Makere. Hello. Hi. Tell us what you've got up for grabs at the moment. So I have an APC, so Army Personnel Carrier, similar to an army tank. You're my hero. If you missed that, that was... You're my hero.

That was, I have an army tank sitting on your dad's front lawn. Is that right, Makere? Yes. That is incredible. How did this even come about? So my partner and a couple of friends all chipped in and saw it on Trade Me. They like to be different.

They're vehicle fanatics, so they went along and purchased it. And I didn't believe him. I thought he was going to come home with a toy tank or something. And then this truck pulled up, and then there it goes. And I was like, what the hell? Do you have any idea how much your partner paid for this World War II army tank? Around $40,000.

Holy crap! Oh god damn! If I spent $40,000 That's at a bargain. Yeah, I bet. That's at a really good price. Yeah, but still, did you need an army tank? Like, I get it if he went out and spent $40,000 on a people mover because you were having a new kid or something,

but were you guys going to war? Like, are you doing the 3 p.m. pickup in the tank? No, why not? Just the sort of only one is just, you know, it's huge. I love you guys. That is awesome. So you're looking to get rid of it at the moment, right? You're trying to raffle it off.

Yes, yes. So we did have a raffle running for it last week. Five days later, it got shut down by the Department of Internal Affairs. Otherwise known as the Fun Police. Yes, yes. But, you know, there's always rules around things. So we're in the process now of obtaining a class three licence so we can get it running again.

I owe it to the people. Like, everyone's been so amazing about it. Yeah. What's the law that you were breaking? Was it thou shalt not own an army tank? It had nothing to do with the tank. It was more the whole amount of money that was involved under gambling. Right.

For the hoes, but yeah. Okay. Have you guys looked up exactly how much this tank would actually be worth? So it's worth around $80,000 to $100,000. Oh, my God. And look at the ship it's in now. Because it drives, eh? I saw you guys on the project last night.

You guys are driving this thing down the street. No, not down the street yet. My dad just moves it back and forth every now and then, give it a bit of a run. You guys are driving this thing down the street. No, not down the street yet. My dad just moved it back and forth every now and then, give it a bit of a run, but he is planning on driving it down the street. Makere, you're not talking to the fun police now, okay? You can tell us the truth.

You guys have been doing donuts in the tank. I think my dad actually needs a new tractor at his farm, so I might get in touch with him. He'll be interested in this raffle. Well, I wanted to propose something this afternoon. Makere, are you familiar with the Venute? No. So Brie has in her possession a 1989

Toyota HiAce van, which has been modified into a half van, half ute. It's bright red. It's got a siren. It's kind of a tank as well. A bit like your husband. I just bought it on Facebook off a whim. Why do you have one? Why not, Makere? A siren. It's kind of a tank as well. A bit like your husband. I just bought it off Facebook off a whim. Yeah.

Why do you have one? Why not, Makare? Are you interested in swapping an army tank for a Venute? Oh, do you have to do this to me? I'd be so keen. Do you have to cut me off the spot? Oh, of course I'm going to say no. Yeah, the Venute's probably not worth as much.

It's probably worth about, yeah, nothing. Okay, well, this has been great either way. I've never talked to someone who's owned a tank before. So, Makere, good luck. And please let me know when you're doing the raffle. I'm definitely purchasing a ticket. Absolutely. I'll let you know.

Brianna, say hi to your mum for me. I will. I'll let her know. Brianna, say hi to your mum for me. I will. I'll let her know. ZDM Spree in Clint, the podcast. Time for some generic weather chats where we talk about the weather on the radio. It's a chat you have in an Uber or an elevator when you're talking to a stranger and you've got nothing else to say. If you don't know the person super well, talk about generic weather chat. But I don't mind it when the weather is not so generic like it is at the moment.

God, we are getting some weather. There's a tornado that's hit Northland. Stripped the roof off 10 houses. Bloody lightning here in Auckland. Lightning struck the tip of the Sky Tower. Just the tip. And Wellington, flights are being diverted. I mean, that's every day for Wellington.

Oh, that's unusual for Wellington, isn't it? Super weird, I know. So weird. But just be careful if you're out there at the moment because when- It's wild. I know. And you know what they say, drive to the conditions, and when they change, reduce your speed.

Exactly. It is smart. But there's been no more wilder weather than in a little place in the country of Queensland called Stanthorpe. And we heard about this weather from our current and best weather lady in the biz, Mama Di. Good afternoon, Mama Di. Hi, guys. How are you going?

Oh, you can hear that. Is it storming there at the moment, Mum? Mate, there's rain coming in, so your father thinks it's raining gold. My dad's an apple farmer. Oh, raining gold. Yeah, he loves it. Loves the rain. Loves a bit of rain.

Gives the apples a wash. Yep. Waters the... I don't know how farms work. I was going to say, waters the trees, doesn't it? We're going to... Yeah, oh, no. You go ahead, Mum and Dad.

Yeah, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt the weather lady. Sorry, Clint, all I can say, mate, is money does grow on trees here, so we need the rain. Good one, Mum. Good one. Totally understandable. Good from you, Mum. Yesterday was our first official live cross to Diane, weather lady,

and we had a lot of feedback feedback including, damn, that weather girl sounds like an absolute dish. I can't see her but did you hire her because of her looks? Sounds more like a chicken parmigiana to me. She sounds like a hot tamale. Mum, there's a lot of wild

weather happening in Stanthorpe where you are on the ground and we're about to cross live to you right now. Wild, wild reports coming out of country Queensland, Stanthorpe today. And we're crossing live now to our weather girl on the ground, Duane. Hello, come in, Duane. Hi there, guys, down in sunny Auckland. Well, the weather here is overcast. It's a bit of rain, but there's a huge cyclone forming

and it's half maroon and half blue and the maroons are going to come on top. Is that a bit of state of origin included in the weather forecast today, number two? State of origin included in the weather forecast today? State of origin chat. Oh, mate, she's on. She's going to be on big time. Mum, we wanted you to talk about how cold it was there this morning.

Well, the dog bowl was frozen over this morning and there's a chance of blue hailstones. Your poor dog. Have you ever thought about moving that bowl inside so it doesn't have to drink so much ice? He's very dehydrated. His poor tongue's stuck to the bowl. He's very good at butting his head there and getting the water out.

Yeah, okay. What was the actual temperatures, Mum? Do you know how cold it was there in country Queensland this morning? Yeah, it was a bit warmer than yesterday. It was around one degree and it's at a top of 10. All right, you want to sign us off? You want to do your big sign-off? Sign-off from Dog Bowl Lady and the Weather Lady.

Say back to you in the studio. Back to you in the studio. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Hot. She sounds hot. Good for ratings. She sounds hot. Bree and Clint, the podcast. ZM.

Sickie Hotline, let's do it. Hello, you've reached Bree and Clint's Sickie Hotline. Welcome to the Sickie Hotline, where we call places that we don't work and try and convince them we do work there, all in the effort of getting a day off. Did we do an update, was it when, a couple of weeks ago about the score? Are we keeping score? Um, no, but I did work it out the other day. We don't need an update. We don't need an update. Is it because I'm winning? No, well, it's not. I don't play to win. I play to participate.

Yeah, because everyone always plays to participate. Just tell me who I'm calling this week. This week, you're going to call one of my favourite stores, Sterling Sports. I do like a Sterling Sports. I love Sterling Sports. And the reason you need a day off. I'd love to meet Sterling. Hell of a guy.

Yeah. Why do I need a day off from Sterling Sports? I'd like to meet his brother. Oh, a guy. Yeah. Why do I need a day off from Sterling Sports? I'd like to meet his brother. Oh, yeah. Spalding. Spalding Sports. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sterling Spalding.

Spalding Sterling would have to be his brother, wouldn't it? Unless Sports is the family last name. We don't know. Let's move on. The Sports family. You're going to call them.

Sterling was the one with the business aptitude. And the reason you need the day off is because you're in the middle of season three, Pretty Little Liars, and you just can't stop watching. Do I know who A is? No. No. Okay, cool. Wish me luck.

Good luck. Sterling Sports speaking with Sarah. Hey, Sarah. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Good, good, good. Hey, I don't know if we've met yet.

I just started working at Stirling Sports. Who do I need to talk to if I need to get a day off? You would need to probably talk to Susan. Give me two seconds, she's just talking to someone. Okay, thank you. Two seconds. Hello, this is Susan. Hi, Susan. How are you? I'm well, thank you. Hey, I just got to ring up. Sorry, because I know it's bad form and I only just started,

but I need to organise a day off. Right. Yeah, I am halfway through a TV show at the moment. You know when you get really into a TV show and you just, you like, like I feel like if I come in, I'm at risk of spoiler alerts. Spoiler alert. Don't tell me what happens in Pretty Little Liars.

Okay. So sorry, who am I speaking to? Are you serious? You can't, you can't tell from my voice? No. Really? You hired me. Sorry.

You, did I have my interview with you? I thought I had my interview with you. I'm sorry, who do you think you're talking to? Is this Susan at Sterling Sports? It is. Yeah, this is... Okay, I don't want to give it away because I feel like when you get it,

you'll get that sense of victory for achieving something today. So I want to give you a chance to guess who this is. I honestly have no idea. You're going to have to help me with that. Take a big stab and dart. Pretend you're in the batting cage with a Sterling Sports baseball bat.

We don't sell equipment like that but just tell me who you are and then I might understand a little bit more. Alright, you win this one, Susan.

It's Gareth. Gareth? Yeah, from your store. Honestly, we don't have a Gareth. Well, you win

some, you lose some. Swinging a miss for Gareth. I'll leave you to it you lose some. Swinging a miss for Gareth. I'll leave you to it. Thank you. Just forget I ever called. See you, Suze.

Thank you, bye. I love that you just, like... I tried to bombard her with information to try and, like... Because we always go in gently, gently, wait for them to give the name. I thought, run it straight at Suze and we'll see how she goes. I love that you just accepted defeat in the end. You're like... She knew. You win this round, You're like She knew. You win this

round Susan. She knew. You win this round. Also get some baseball bats Sterling Sports. ZM Spree and Clint. The podcast. Hey this is embarrassing and I'm glad we're all here to enjoy it together. Imagine this. You're at work

and you're with your work mate and you can't work something on your phone and you say, Clint, please help me with this thing on my phone. And so he comes over because he's a helpful guy who wants you to be your best self and wants to help and you open the camera roll on your phone and in there is a large group of selfies of the

raunchier variety. This is a scenario that Bree found herself in exactly 24 hours ago. No, no, no. You got a new phone. You're new to that. Why do we have to talk about this at this time?

We could talk about it at after six. Because this is my favourite thing on the show today, so we've got to do it at five o'clock. Bree's got a new phone. She's new to that Samsung life. I'm still showing her a couple of the features. That's cool. You're helping me.

She's not new to the fact that when you take a photo, it goes into your gallery, though. Like, that happens on every phone. She opens the gallery. And I'd say there were 15 maybe 16. Okay not that many. Selfies of Bree lying in her bed.

My face wasn't in it. No your face was cropped. There was no nudity. Yeah you followed the Carl Fletcher mantra of Jenny's and face never shall be in the same photo. There was no nudity. Yeah, you followed the Carl Fletcher mantra of Jenny's and face never shall be in the same photo. There was no nudity. No, there was no... Well...

No, there wasn't. It was definitely PG-13. I'm going to paint the picture for you, actually. Oh, no. Actually, I need the right music for this. I need the right music for this. Barry White. I don't think I've ever felt more awkward around you.

That was like the most awkward part in our friendship. And then it was just, I don't know what I'm saying. Can you put your shoulders down? You look tense. I want to take you there together. So Brie opens her camera roll by accident. And in there are a series of photos. I said 15.

It might have been 12, but it was definitely more than 10. Pictures of Bree. Taken. No! Don't describe it. Taken from above.

Don't describe it. So it's an aerial angle, but she's taken it. So she's put the arm up and she's managed to get her arm out of the shot. I hate my job right now.

She's lying on her bed. Sheets are down. I only saw it quickly, but from memory, they were beige sheets. And she's there. Like, it's nice. She's wearing one of those

Calvin Klein sports bra bras that the Kardashians made popular again with the white bit around the bottom and the black. It's a bra selfie. It's a bra selfie and Iians made popular again with the white bit around the bottom and the black. It's a bra selfie.

It's a bra selfie and I don't know who it was for, but I didn't need to see it and I saw it. I saw it. I saw it and I feel like it brought you and me closer together. Did it? I did. You know what? I never take those photos.

I never, ever take them. And I thought to myself the other day, I'm going to push myself. You push yourself outside your comfort zone. There you go, girl. And look what happens. Look what happens now. Clint sees them. I never do it.

And you know why? I don't do it because this stuff happens to me all the time. Who were they for? None of your business. Who were they for? I didn't know you were seeing anybody. They were for myself. Were they?

They were for me. Really? They were for me. Okay, did you enjoy them? Did you get what you needed out of them? Not now. It gets weirder if they're up to you. Did you enjoy them?

No. Why did I ask that? Why did I ask that question? That was dumb. I think I would have been more uncomfortable if you weren't as uncomfortable as you are for both of us. I feel like you've really taken up the slant. I didn't think I'd be this uncomfortable talking about it, but now that we're here, I'm talking very fast

and I've realised that now as I'm talking. Let's make you feel better. Let's make you feel better, okay? There's a text message coming in saying, I am living for this. Was there grated cheese on the bed? No, not from what I could see. But like I said, I didn't get to see them for long.

You don't put that in the shot. And it was just the thumbnails. Let's make you feel better. 0800 dial ZM. When did someone see? Someone just asked, can we see them? No, you can't see them. Well, can we?

No, I deleted them straight after. I've already seen them, so it doesn't matter. 0800 dial ZM or 9696. When did someone see inside your camera roll? Okay, similar situations. Maybe worse., maybe worse. Maybe way worse. Who was it and what did they see that you didn't want them to see?

Honestly. Make Brie feel better. RIP my dignity, honestly. Brie and Clint, the podcast. ZM. Welcome to Brie's funeral. Oh, God. He's doing the eulogy.

At approximately 5pm yesterday, Brie Thomasel passed away from embarrassment when she accidentally opened her camera roll, revealing to her workmate and friend, Clint Roberts, a reel of semi-nude selfies. Can I just say, a lot of support on the text machine. A lot of support, yeah. Has made me feel better.

Someone said a bra selfie is pretty harmless. Basically, you just saw me in my swimsuit. No, Brie, no one is more thankful that it was only a bra selfie than me. No, I think I'm the one that's most thankful. And me, I don't want to see that. I don't want to see that. I don't want to see that. Well, you would. They're pretty good.

All right. We've asked you, though. When did someone see your camera roll? My best assets. Oh, you're changing your tune. Because some people do what... No, don't worry about it. No.

Asia's here. Hi, Asia. Hey. Hey. When did someone see your camera roll? So a few years ago, I was working at a store, and I was new to the phone thing as well with Apple and I had an iPhone and I plugged it into our Mac at work.

Oh, no. Oh, no. And I didn't realise what had happened. I got a scathing call the night of from my boss saying I need to see him first thing in the morning. Me realising that all my photos had uploaded to his home computer. Oh. When his children saw.

Plus, all my colleagues saw all my intimate photos with a female partner of mine. Oh. Asia, thank you for calling. I now feel really good about my situation. Asia's job was pronounced dead on arrival. Yeah. Rest in peace, Asia.

Thank you. Jeez. Thank you. Aaron, to you. Hey, Aaron. How's it going? Aaron, who saw your camera roll? One of my best mates.

So I was skipping from my phone and I must have clicked on my ex and I was talking to a group of people and he kept staring at it without me noticing and he was like, oh, get it away. And then we get in the car later after we finish hanging out with these guys and he started coming on to me.

Oh. Like he really enjoyed the picture. Yeah. Oh, no. Oh, and did he think that you'd shown him the picture intentionally? He thought it was like a move. God, it must have been a bloody good picture. Yeah, it must have been a great picture.

Can you send me some tips? Just point and shoot. And it's all about that high angle as well. Hannah's here. Hannah. Hello. Good afternoon. Hi, Hannah.

Make Bree feel better, okay? Look, she's had a whoopsie. It's not great. When did someone see your camera roll? Okay, so it was on my laptop, and it was playing up. So I took it into, like, a repair place to get fixed, and it was to do with memory. So he started going through my memory files

and ended up finding a RA team video on and started playing it. Oh, video. Why? Why would he play it? Why are you playing it? Because it was really large, the size of the file. I was going to say, glad you clarified what was large. Feel better? Kind of.

Not really. ZM's Bree and Clint, the podcast. It's my birthday. Clint, the podcast. Brie and Clint's birthday banger. We're going to get some birthdays and then we figure out what was number one on your 16th. First up is Emma. Hey, Emma. Hi. Emma, what's your birthday?

2nd of October, 1989. Okay, Emma, you were 16 in 2005 on the 2nd of October. And back in the mid-2000s, this topped the charts. Oh! Oh, yes. You've got one of those birthday bangers that you can put on at a party and go, guys, this is my birthday banger, and everyone will love it. It turns up.

It's amazing. Love it, Emma. Okay. Strong contender up first for birthday banger. Next is Kyle. Hey, Kyle. Hi, Kyle. Hi.

How's it going? Good, thanks. What's your birthday? 8th of May, 1984. Okay, Kyle. You were 16 in the year 2000 on the 8th of May. And in the millennium, this topped the charts. Kyle.

The Vanga Boys. This is Sha-la-la-la-la. Do you love it? Yeah, it's not too bad. It's the first time I've ever heard it before, to be honest. Really? Are you serious? But you know who the Vanga Boys are?

Yeah, I do know who the Vanga Boys are, yep. Can I say the Vanga Boys are one of the best live bands I've ever seen? Did it sound like Kyle was pretending to know who the Vengaboys are? Yeah, definitely know who they are. Hey, Nicola. Hi. It's your birthday today. Happy birthday.

Thanks. This is crazy. Nicola shares the exact same birthday, month and year as Ellie's mum. Oh, okay. Crazy. Well, we're about to find out what Ellie's mum's birthday banger is too then. Yeah, exactly. What year, Nicola?

1967. Okay, Nicola, you were 16 in 1983 on the 5th of June. And this is yours and producer Ellie's mum's birthday banger. Oh. Flash dance. From the movie of the same name? No, from, yeah. Yeah, from Flash Dance.

You love that, Nicola? Yeah, of course. Yeah, okay, great. It's a tune. Got three really good songs today. I like all flash dance. You love that, Nicola? Yeah, of course. Yeah, okay, great. It's a tune. Got three really good songs today. I like all of them. Gold Digger, I feel, gets played on ZM a bit, so we'll be writing that one off.

Great birthday banger, Emma. You've got a great song, but I don't think it's going to win today. Would you agree? Yeah. So then we're down to the Venga Boys and Flashdance. My heart says Venga Boys. Yeah, same, I think.

Yeah? Where are you torn? What is... I'm always torn when it's someone's birthday. Oh, I see what you're saying. And where it's like, oh, I could have either or, but... Take that out of it. I know it's Ellie's mum's birthday, but take her out of it.

She's going to be devastated. You know what? Why don't we let Ellie choose then if it's her mum's birthday? Oh, no. Ellie, what are we going with? Are we going to go with Flashdance, or are we going to go with the Vinger Boys? Okay. I love my mum, and I love Nicola,

but I'm going to be selfish on their birthday. You can do that. And I'm going to go with Vinger Boys. Ellie really likes that song. Also, did you end up getting your mum anything for her birthday? You said you forgot. Oh, yeah, cool, Bree. Yeah, thanks for that, mate. You could have got her a song.

You missed that one, too. Here you go. Here's Birthday Banger, ZM. Boys There's a boy in my mind and he knows I'm thinking of him On my way to the day and the night, the stars shine above me. He's been gone for some time, but I know I truly love him. And I'm singing

a song, hoping he'll be back when he hears it. My heart goes sha-la-la-la-la sha-la-la in the morning sha la la la sha la la in the

sunshine sha la la la sha la la in the evening sha la la la sha la la la just for you Evening Sha-la-la-la-la Sha-la-la-la-la Just for you If your love's gone away

Just like mine You feel like crying Sing along Maybe once Maybe twice Let's try it together Songs we sing No one knows

You return And you'll be happy Shout it sweet in a song Listen to your heart It is singing My heart goes Sha-la-la-la-la Sha-la-la in the morning

Sha-la-la-la-la Sha-la-la in the sunshine Sha-la-la-la-la Sha-la-la in the evening The Sunshine Shalala, shalala in the morning. Shalala, shalala in the sunshine. Shalala, shalala in the evening. Shalala, shalala just for-la-la-la Just for you Sha-la-la-la-la Just for you ZM, Bree and Clint.

That's the winner of Birthday Banger today from the Vinger Boys. Sha-la-la-la-la. I love this on the text machine. Someone goes, wow, I remember this song being a whole lot better than this. Oh, get real. Come on. That was a great choice. I think so anyway.

I went to the Kiwis Rugby League game versus Tonga last year. Yeah. That's when the whole stadium was in red when all the Tongan fans came along. That is one of the biggest songs that the DJ plays for all the Tongan fans. Is it?

They go, oh, I don't know why. I don't know why it's such an iconic song, but they go off for it. There you go. Bit of Venga Boys rugby league crossover chat for you. I'd like to dedicate that song too to anyone in Christchurch tonight who's going along to Fletch,

one of Megan's cha-ching-go bingo at Fat Eddie's. That's going to be a good time. Oh, I love Fat Eddie's. Yeah. Remember we went there after Cup Day in Christchurch? Trying to remember it. Good bar. Good place.

If you are going, enjoy it. It's going to be a great time. Bree and Clint. The podcast. ZM. I saw Flash came across a product that I am very excited about. Oh, yeah? I feel like it could help me.

It could help you. It could help producer Ben. It could help producer Ellie. Is there another one of those handles for the back of your phone? The one that was on your other phone that got stolen? No. No? I feel like I should let the ad do the talking,

and then we'll discuss the product after. Sure. Okay, here you go. Introducing the Flatulence Deodorizer, the first and only pad that eliminates intestinal gas odor. The secret of this amazing product is activated charcoal cloth, which actually absorbs and traps odor-causing microorganisms. A Flatulence deodorizer is washable, reusable, economical,

and can help you get back your dignity, your self-confidence, and your life. I'll buy six. I said to you before the show, you said, oh, 540, I need to talk about something. It's called the neutraliser. And I said to you, and you said, there's two people on this show who need it. And I said to you straight, I looked you straight in the eye,

and I said, is it a fart neutraliser? And you looked me back as a friend, and you said, no. It's a flatulence neutraliser. You've just shown me a picture of it. So it's literally a pad. It's a pad. It looks like a pad. It's a pad.

You put in your undies. It's got wings. So it takes the bite out of your fart. It's brilliant. No longer do I have to hold it in. No longer do I have to offend my colleagues. Do you believe that bit about charcoal filters though? Yeah, I don't know. Because I reckon it's

just like a pad that's got, it's been doused in Glade air freshener and then you put it against your butt and that's it. They can't filter them. It's not like air conditioning. It's not like an HRV system for your butt. You know my favourite part about it?

They're like, you only need one. It's, you can put it in the washing machine. Grim. Grim. Grim. Grim. Grim. Grim.

I bought Ellie and I a couple. I mean, thank you. I appreciate that you've bought them for yourselves. You're welcome. I'm not debating the fact that you need one, but still, grim. ZM Spree and Clint, the podcast. Spree, how are you when it comes to the old raunchy text message?

You know, like when you're flirting over text with somebody and you're trying to get things, you know. I think my bants is all, like, okay. But in terms of, like, that kind of texting, I don't. Actual sexiness? Nah. Me of texting, I don't. Actual sexiness? Nah. Me neither. And I don't get it.

When people think of me, they don't think, ooh, sexy. Do you know what I mean? In 160 characters or less. Nah. Because it is 2000, and I mean, you might not be interested in this, it's totally fine, but some people would be, and if you are, that's totally fine too. Because it's 2019, there's now a robot that can help you

with your raunchy text messages. You know this is a thing on Tinder now? Well, not the raunchy text messages, but on Tinder and Bumble. Oh, it's one of those. They actually give you a bunch of like... Practice mode? No, well, no. They give you a bunch of options to start a conversation.

Oh, conversation starters. Yeah, so they give you a bunch of like to start a conversation. Oh! Conversation starters. Yeah, so they give you a bunch of ways to open a conversation. Yeah, but people would know if you're sending them generic ones, they wouldn't they? There's quite a lot. Is there? There's quite a few, yeah. That's helpful because it's not everybody's strong suit. No. The banter bit is not everybody's strong suit. So this one will let you take it up a

notch. I can't tell you what the bot is called because it's very rude, but it's up to you how intimate you want to get with this robot. Interesting. Weird time we live in. You can choose from slow and gentle mode, which is just easing

you into it, or hot and sexy mode. Again, this is for you to send raunchy text messages to a robot to practice your conversation. Oh, wait. Oh, I thought the robot was writing the text for you to send to someone. No, it's a bot. So you send it back.

So they'll send you something. So you're texting with a robot. You're texting with a robot. Yeah. Right. You're literally texting with an algorithm and you write something back and it can interpret what you said and it will say something back to you. Yeah.

So you can get your skills up. If it all gets too much, you just message the safe word pineapple. Why pineapple? I would be no good at this. I'd get three messages in and I'd be like, pineapple, pineapple, pineapple. I want to help out pineapple, pineapple, pineapple.

Bree and Clint, the podcast. ZM. I want to talk about a very savvy university student who's paid off her university debt doing something a little bit unusual. She has paid off her university debt by selling videos of herself sneezing. Really? Her name is Abby Haywood. She's over in the UK and she had a massive uni debt and she was struggling. And she stumbled upon an underground fetish ring where people like to watch videos of girls sneezing.

Rich white men are the worst people in the world because they're the ones who are paying for this stuff. There's no fetish out there that a rich white dude isn't willing to pay for and I did not ever expect that sneezing was going to be on the list.

Isn't it unusual? I've never heard of this. I mean, we've all heard of the normal ones like feet and... Oh yeah, real normal.

But you know, the mainstream ones... We've talked about feet on the show before and I said the words feet are yuck and Brie goes to me, hey,'ve talked about feet on the show before And I said the words feet are yuck And Brie goes to me Hey hey no judging on this show

There is no judgement on this show What about dudes who are into sneezing Are you cool with that I think like I don't really care If you're not hurting anyone No that's totally true But what if you went home with someone and they wanted you to sneeze on them I think I'd rather that than some other things.

True. And I don't think it's sneezing on people. It's just they like the look of someone when they're sneezing. You reckon? You reckon? I'm sure it progresses. They're like, I've got to take my sneezing fetish to the next level. Well, maybe.

But she's selling clips of herself sneezing where they can go for as much as $180. That's good money for sneezing. Isn't it? Can she sneeze on demand, though? Well, she's created this device where – I'm not going to say what she calls it. Yeah. But she sticks it up her nose and it makes her sneeze. Right, and it's got a rude name.

Yes. All right. It's a nose. Yeah. Something starts with a D. Nose. Nose. No, I haven's got a rude name. Yes. All right. It's a nose. Yeah. Something starts with a D. Nose. Nose. No, I haven't got it.

Don't worry. If you say it's too rude, it's too rude. You use it to do us. I'll turn the mics off for a second. You say what it is. Oh, my God. Yeah, can't say that on the radio. Anyway, she.

Rhymes with nose bilbo. Yeah. She has made so much money, she's paid off her entire student debt. Good for her. And she goes by the name, and this is true. This is if we want to look her up. If you want to look her up, if you think this is for you, she goes by the name Snotty Bitch.

Wow. All right. All right. 2019, people. 2019 people 2019 2019 Would you like a wet sneeze Or a dry sneeze

I can do both Would you like multiple Multiple ZM's Free and Clint The podcast If you enjoyed this podcast Why not give ZM's Fletchbourne and Megan

A listen too Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app Or wherever you get Your podcasts Hit music Live the air ZM