ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – March 6th 2020

Episode Date: March 6, 2020

What did you give up as a parent?Dean McCarthy live from LAHighs and Lows of the weekBrees Killer Comedy Set – the big review1 Second Challenge Song Challenge!What do you tell people you do for a job?No more toilet paperFriday-Oke!Birthday Banger!More ‘boring’ punsAdult card gameTerrible new TV showSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello everybody and welcome to the Bree and Clint podcast. Welcome especially to the members of the newly renamed Bree and Clint family podcast group on Facebook. Is that what it's called? Yeah, Bree and Clint podcast family. That's correct. I was not allowed to put Bazinga at the end. I'm sorry. Oh, that would have been good. Yeah, I gave her a nipple cripple. It would have been a slow transition out, but hey, it's done now. That's fine. Took your areola right off. How do we clear out the Big Bang fans that that page has accumulated? We just say, no virgins allowed.

Ben's allowed in this group as well. Yeah, true. You're allowed, Ben. And I'm just kidding. If you're a virgin, is completely fine That's cool Unless you're 50 Is it cool? Yeah

I think that's brave Maybe not if you're 50 No Maybe not if you're 50 Let's do the International Birthday Banger It's my birthday It's my birthday

Free and clean Birthday Banger The podcast Yeah I saw this message on Instagram actually Birthday free and cleansed. Birthday Banger. The podcast. Yeah. I saw this message on Instagram, actually. Intercepted a message from a girl named Chloe Palmer. She said, hey, guys, I was hoping to be on your international Birthday Banger podcast.

My birthday is this, and I'm from the UK. But this might be a long shot, but I also have two sisters that I don't get to see very much. One lives in Sydney and one lives in France. It would be amazing if we could all be on the Birthday Banger podcast together. Whoa, truly international. How cool! Okay, I hope you're all listening to this because this is your big moment.

This is for you guys. And yes, it is very unlikely, but it's a family affair today. Let's start with Chloe's Birthday Banger. Chloe's the one that wrote in and she's in Hampshire, UK. She was born on the 10th of September, 1994, which means she was 16 in 2010

and this is her birthday banger. What ever happened to Olly Murs? He was in the news recently because he lost a bunch of weight. Did he gain a bunch of weight? Yeah, he gained a bunch of weight and then he lost it. He was like the new Robbie Williams for a bit.

He was. I really liked him. Okay, not a bad birthday banger. Let's do Chloe's sister, Lauren. Sister one, Lauren, who is the sister in Sydney. She was born on the 26th of October 1992, which means she was 16 in 2008 on the 26th of October. And this is Lauren's birthday bag.

I googled the Kings of Leon the other day. None of them have got long hair or beards anymore. Really? They're all just like businessmen looking? No, not quite businessmen. They all look like lawyers now? Yeah, they're very grown up. Revolutionary.

The song's fantastic. Such a good drunk song too. Such a good song. Like bar song. To really punch it out. Okay, Meg finally, the third sister. Yeah, she's in France and her birthday is on the 3rd of April 1996. So she was born in 2012.

16, sorry, in 2012. And this is Meg's birthday banger. Where have you been? Oh my, oh my. Re-entering Kelvin Harris. Oh, this has got a good drop. Okay, this wins, and consider this the official play of it. Get ready for the drop. Where have you been? Oh my, oh my. I'm just going to get a water

Does anybody want a water? You've got giant pupils right now I love you so much You want any chewing gum? You've got giant pupils right now. I love you so much. Do you want any chewing gum? We've done this gag before. Yeah, we know we have. This is the winner and this is the podcast, everybody.

Did you notice that they're all two years apart? Yeah, they're sisters. Very close sisters, though. They've timed it very well. How far apart are you and your siblings? Well, I'm 18 months from my sister. Yeah. And then like three years from my brother, I think.

What about you? Are you guys all two years apart? We're all two years and four months, yeah. Well, that's funny. There must be a certain date that your parents love. No, it doesn't work out like that. Oh. We've got different birthdays.

Oh. Hey, Google, what's the time? It's 3pm, give or take a minute. Alexa, play ZM on iHeartRadio. Playing ZM on iHeartRadio. Hey Siri, when are Bree and Clint on? Bree and Clint are on air in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Kia ora New Zealand, welcome to the Friday edition of the Bree and Clint Show. Hello everyone.

Sorry I did the headphone thing again. Tell the people why you're puffing. 15 seconds to go. I was like, don't have my headphones. I'm so unfit. That's so terrible. Tell everybody what the one thing is you need to do this job. Tenacity.

No, I was going to say good attitude, but yeah, I like tenacity as well. Determination. Yeah, yeah. Moxie. Your headphones. Hey, you're forgiven because, I mean, you're coming down off an incredible show last night. Last night was Bree's killer comedy set, and boy, was it killer. Boy, was it killer.

It was so much fun, and it was so nice to just meet people that listened to the show, and they came out to support us and the other comedians, obviously Eli and Two Hearts, and it was a really fun night. We're hoping to get a review of the first ever comedy set at a funeral home from one of the comedians in the show later today, so we'll see how we go with that. I'm interested to see what he gives himself out of 10. Today's an exciting day.

Not only do we have, how much money are we at? $75,000 for the Secret Sound. Two chances at that. Today, because the phone has launched today, we have a brand new Samsung Galaxy S20 Ultra to give away. This is the top of the line new Galaxy from Samsung. And everybody who calls our show today is going in the draw to win this phone. Yeah, that's right.

There's no phone better on the market right now. And if you need an upgrade, this is going to be one of the best to win this phone. Yeah, that's right. There's no phone better on the market right now, and if you need an upgrade, this is going to be one of the best prizes you can win. You've just got to get on air. If you get on air, then you're in the draw for that phone, and we'll draw it at 6 o'clock today. So it'll be a fair draw. Whoever gets on air, doesn't matter what it is.

We might even do a blitz at some stage. Like this person. Hey, you're on air at ZM. Who's this? Hello, my name's Pris. Oh, well, congratulations. You're in the draw for the new Samsung Galaxy S20 Ultra. Boom!

Well, that's awesome. What were you actually calling for? The secret sound. Yes, I am. You're like an hour early. No way. I like that. That's prompt. It's very good. But yeah, an hour away, we will do the secret sound. Put her in the draw for the phone, please.

Next on the show, though, you want to talk to parents. Yeah, I want to talk to the parents of the show. And I think it's time for the parents who listen to this show to have a whinge. Because they deserve it. We're ready. They deserve it. I know you'd be ready. You'd have your whinges ready. And we're going to do that next.

Okay, speaking of parents, she's going to be one soon. She announced it yesterday. Here's Katy Perry with a Friday jam to start the show. Bree and Clint, it's him. Greetings, loved ones. Bree and Clint. I want to talk to not just the women, but all parents. I read quite an interesting and relatable thing that one of my really good mates, actually,

she's recently just become a new mum with her husband and they just had a baby. I think she's about, I think their baby's about four months old. Oh, yeah. So they're still in the very new stages and she put up on Facebook and she said, just a warning for anyone thinking about becoming parents. I've just written a bit of a list of things you have to give up as a parent. And I thought, well, Clint could probably relate to this. Definitely relate.

She's at four months, so she won't have got any of the things back yet. No. Because basically when the baby's new, you have to give up everything. Literally everything. And then slowly things start coming back. Absolutely.

But I'm keen to hear... Or you'd hope so. Yeah, like today, we got something back. The cafe thing? We went to a cafe. Yes. That's good, isn't it? How good?

For one coffee and then we had to go straight home. Hey, it's better than nothing. No, and I thought, you know, we could give the parents of the show, because you guys deserve it, just a bit of a chance to vent, to talk about, you know, the things that you have to go through and give up to bring into this world a little child. Yeah, go on then. I'll give a few of hers because I don't want to take all of them

because she wrote quite a few. She wrote quite a big list. She's at four months. She's still deep in it. Yeah, yeah. She's still in that stage. She said things she had to give up as a parent so far, sleep in general, just all sleep.

Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. That's one of the things. She said any real type of spending money. Yep. Absolutely. Other than bills. She also said my former body.

You girls especially. Yep. Although dad bods are a thing too but not to the same extent. I'm not saying we do what you do. Yeah be careful. You be careful. Did you carry a watermelon around in your belly? No, I'm just kidding. This one I feel really deeply.

She said spontaneity. Oh, there is no spontaneity. There is none. No, your life. I bet. Your life becomes a spreadsheet. To plan a weekend in like six months, you probably have to plan for three years. 100%. 100%. Can you imagine? We want to go to the, let's go to Whey for a weekend in like six months, you probably have to plan for three years. A hundred percent.

A hundred percent. Can you imagine? You're like, we want to go to the, let's go to away for a weekend. We want to have a spontaneous weekend away in 2025. Yeah, that'll be good. Anyway, they're quite a few of the ones that she had on her list, but I wanted to open it up

to all the parents listening right now. 0800 dial ZM. Call us up. Tell us what you have had to give up as a parent. Yeah, what do you miss from your old life? Your former life. Your former life. Your youth.

And we'll also get yours after the break too, Clint. I'm interested to see what you have given up as well. Okay, I'll get my list out. You can also text us on 9696. Bree and Clint. Something that doesn't make sense, and I don't think anyone will ever make sense of it, is having children.

It's quite a full-on thing, as I've learnt from one of my good mates, you, Clint, having a kid. It's very confusing. It's very confusing, especially to the people who have had the kid. I bet. There's days where you're holding the kid

and you go, why don't we do this? Yeah. My sister at the moment. And I absolutely love my daughter to pieces. And having a child has strengthened our relationship. But being completely honest, there's moments where you go, do we mean to do this? This is our purpose.

Yeah, my sister at the moment, she's eight months pregnant. And she looked at me because I saw her on the weekend and she's like, something just moved inside of my stomach. Yeah. And I don't know how to feel about that. I know you think you're going to be a really supportive and involved auntie. Can I tell you all she wants, your sister? Food.

It's all she wants. Just give me the food. When you go, just take her pre-made meals. That's easy. I can do that. And hold the baby. It's all she actually wants. I can do that easily.

We're asking you this afternoon on 0800DIALS at M. As a parent, this is your turn to have a bit of a vent. Tell us, what did you have to give up when you became a parent? You obviously got the baby, the children, but you had to give up I bet a lot of other things. We've already covered off sleep,

money, your former body, spontaneity, and a lot of texts coming through with a lot of funny ones. Someone has said toilet privacy. You have to give that up when you have little children because they just run in whenever they like. You've got to learn how to – this might sound gross to non-parents, but if you're at home by yourself, men,

you need to learn how to do a stand-up with a front pack on. Yeah. And you can't – when you're wearing a front pack, you can't see it. You can't see the thing. I'm trying to think of how that would go as a woman. You have to sit down. I think it would be all right. Yeah, you can sit down.

At least you don't have to hold anything. It's a weird sensation going to the toilet with somebody else, though. Yeah, I bet. Yeah. It's like when a dog's watching you. It's still very strange. Yeah. That dog is strapped to your body.

Yeah, that's weird. Let's get some from people out there.'s still very strange. Yeah, that dog is strapped to your body. Yeah, that's weird. Let's get some from people out there. Jodie, hi. Hi, Jodie. Hello. What did you have to give up when you became a parent? About 80% of the space in my car.

Yes. What, the car seats? Oh, the car seats go in, the front seats go forward, the boot is always full. Yeah, there's like a million things you have to pack if you literally want to go down the road, right? And if you're a clean car person, forget that. There's bits of chips everywhere. Vacuuming once a weekend.

Yeah, I bet. Who's got time for that, mate? Just give in. R.I.P. Seriously, give in, live in a mess. R.I.P. to any fancy car. Just get rid of it. Jessie, hi.

Hi, Jessie. Hi. What did you have to give up when you became a parent? So many things, but one of them was sex. We have a special code word, especially at this time. Indoor gardening. Indoor gardening. Yeah, there'd be no...

Indoor gardening. Yes. Well, for a short time, you know. We've been in sort of a damper on that. For a period, right? And there's not many other occasions that this saying is more perfect. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Ain't nobody. And also the ability to do your grocery shopping. Oh, okay, yeah. Wait, is that a euphemism as well or are you talking actual grocery shopping? Actual grocery shopping, no code words, and everybody stops you. Oh, my God, the baby's so cute.

And then mum stops you. Oh, are you using these nappies or these nappies? You're like, leave me alone. I'm hungry and I haven't indoor gardened for six months. Get out of my way. It's been a very quick pruning at my house. Hey Ruth. Hi Ruth. Hi.

Tell us Ruth, what did you give up when you became a parent? I am looking at it from, you know, with the teenage children. Oh, yeah. So there's two things, really. There's adult time, in inverted commas, however you want to read that one. Indoor gardening. Yeah, a bit of that, yep.

But even like an adult conversation can no longer be had. That's a lot. Just general adult time, like time with other adults. Well, I'm sure. I mean, I haven't had kids, but I can imagine it'd be very hard to have an adult conversation when you've got poo on your hands from changing a nappy. Wouldn't it? You're like, I can't take you seriously.

The other thing with teenagers is that you have to give up your Friday and Saturday night drinking because you're going to have to sober drive and pick them up. You're on call. You're a taxi service. That's easy. You just give them the code for the Uber and you say you can work and pay for your own Ubers.

I wish. Yeah, right. It doesn't work like that. Thank you, Ruth. A lot on the text machine. Someone said I had to give up just having clean clothes in general, spew everywhere. I had to give up eating a warm dinner.

Yeah, that's gone. I can picture that. A clean house. Yeah, that's gone. I can picture that. A clean house. Yeah, that's gone. Oh, yeah. Especially, I'm quite like a clean freak. Just let it go. Just lean into the mess.

That's it. Yeah. A lot of people, yeah, there's a lot of indoor gardening texts. Sleep-ins. Sleep-ins. There's no sleep-ins. Hangovers. Just give up hangovers.

They're not worth having when you've got someone else. Someone else said I had to give up bladder control. I'm sure that's from the mums. Yeah. Can't trust a sneeze. And this is my favourite one. Someone texted her and they said, when I became a parent, I had to give up my boobs.

Bless you. Yeah, right. Everyone except that child had to give up your boobs. Exactly. Bree and Clint from iHeartRadio. This is The Latest live from LA

with Dean McCarthy. Dean, there's a major, major pop star who's announced that she's pregnant. Who is it? It's good news today

for Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom expecting their first child today. Now, you know, I love a dramatic reveal of news and she has done it

in a spectacular way. She revealed the pregnancy in her new music video called Never Worn White. She comes out and she's showing the baby bump belly and she's obviously very excited because, as she said, in the press today, she's been trying to hide this for a long time. It's been very difficult to hide this, sucking in her belly and, you know, walking around like this,

you know, just a regular day. But, in fact, she is pregnant. So it's good news and that's one lucky kid. So her and Orlando Bloom are like a real deal thing. Is that right? Yeah, they got back together quite a while ago now, didn't they, Dean? Yeah, they did. So they split.

It was on, it was off. Remember they were jet skiing and he was nude or something? No, they were paddling. What were they doing? They were stand-up paddle boarding. We saw his Orlando Bloom. Yeah, we saw the Lord of His Ring. We did.

Wow. Good for them. That is going to be one incredibly cute kid when it's born, right? It'll be a very cute kid. Yeah. And rich. And rich, yeah, and rich, yeah, yeah. And with a dad who has winger pics on the internet.

Right? What a unique. Yeah, they'll show them at the baby's 21st. Right. That's the latest's 21st. Right? That's the latest with Dean McCarthy. We've got to let him go. He's currently sitting

in a hotel room waiting to interview Vin Diesel. Have you ever met Vin Diesel before, Dean? I have. This is my third interview with him. His new movie, Bloodshot,

is what I've been interviewing him for and he's literally in the next room. He's literally... Is he taller or shorter than what you would think in person? No, he's taller than what you would think in person?

No, he's taller than what you think. He's a good-looking dude, actually. He's really personable. Oh, I know. He's very, like, yeah. He's really, like, he walked down the hallway before, and, like, he's saying hi to everyone, he's stopping, and he's chatting to all the staff at the hotel.

Like, he's super friendly. Really nice. Yeah, big Vin Diesel fan over here. Big Vin Diesel fans all round. Okay, that's Dean McCarthy, our Hollywood correspondent, in L.A. in a hotel room waiting for Vin Diesel. Brie and Clint. Every week we get the best and worst bits of the week put together for the high-low.

Through the eyes of the producers. Yes, I believe we're focusing on one topic this week, so here's the high-low. Previously with ZM's Brie and Clint. Hey guys, welcome to yet another week of Brinklands highs and lows. All the high points of the week and the low points of the week. This week's a special edition and it's all about Bree's killer comedy set. Fire the sting, Ben. Bree's killer comedy set.

What the hell is going on? I've organised a private comedy gig for you where you'll be the headline act of the comedy gig this Thursday night. This Thursday? Yeah, this Thursday. That's like, that's four, that's three nights away.

Yeah, well, it was going to be Friday, but your partner told us you're going away to the beach, so we couldn't be doing it on Friday. So it has to be on Thursday. Good news, good news. You're shitting me, aren't you? Yeah, no, no, no, not shitting you, no.

Clinton Roberts from... Clinton No. Clinton Roberts from... Clinton Roberts from Clinton Roberts from... Clinton Roberts from Clinton Roberts Promotions and Events Limited has had this in the works for quite some time. Yes, Clinton Roberts had had a few other comedians booked. This is actually a renowned comedian slash writer slash have-you-been-paying-attention palette that you like Matthew Finn.

You'd like to come along, Eli. Yeah, I mean, I'll to come along, Eli. Yeah. I mean, I'll only come if I can perform. Yes! Eli, not only are you coming, mate, you're booked. Congratulations, you're officially booked. Lock it in, Eli. I am so excited about this.

Can you tell? Today, I'm pleased to announce we're quadrupling the line-up with the addition of two... Hey! Joseph Moore and Laura Daniel. Welcome to, I guess it's Bree's big show. I was going to say my big show,

but. No, it is your big show. It is your big show. Thank you so much. Welcome to the big show. We've waived our $10,000 fee. Yeah.

Just for you guys. To be part of the gig. Now all the talent's locked in, time to reveal the venue. Behind the scenes, we've actually managed to secure a venue. If you'd been paying attention,

you would know where you're performing tomorrow night. What are you talking about? There have been hints. Let's reflect and see if there aren't any things here that trigger your memory. A killer comedy set headlined by brief. Yeah, it's going to be killer because we're going to have a heart attack and die.

What a nightmare. Is it themed killer and with the haunting music because it is a nightmare? Joke's so good. Thar to die for. And then I'm going to die in the arse at the end. Well, you'll be in the right place. Put it that way. Can you do one of my favourite songs?

Obviously the song about the ghost. Have you heard it before, Clint? No, but can I say Slutty Ghost works perfectly. Is it a morning gig? No, it's in the evening. Okay, what time is it? 7.30. Okay, 7.30.

Let's put a call through to the venue now. Nah. Nah. Good afternoon, Davis Funerals. You're speaking with Karen. Hey, Karen, it's Bree and Clint calling from ZM. Hi, how are you? We're good.

I've got Brie here, and we're just revealing to her the venue of Thursday night's killer comedy set. Hi, Brie, we're looking forward to seeing you. You will be performing in the perfect venue. It's already got a hall. It's the perfect venue. It's already got a hall. It's already got seats. It's already got microphones.

It's already ready for us to play. You've taken the piss. You will be performing the first ever live comedy set at a funeral home. It's going to be a good venue because my set is going to die in the ass. And to finish it all off, it was time for you guys to suggest some jokes for Bree. Mark, you're here and you've got a joke for Bree to use tonight. What is it? Why do pirates store their whiskey on the starboard side?

Why? Because the other side is the port side. Tania, what's your gear for tonight's comedy show? What can Brie use? So, a cow is a cow with four legs, right? Yeah. So, what do you call a cow with no legs? What?

I don't know. Ground beef. Luke's here. Hey, Luke. Hi, Luke. Hi. Luke, how old are you? Ten.

Ten? I'd love to hear your joke, Luke. Give us your best one. What's a vampire's favourite fruit? What's a vampire's favourite fruit? What is a vampire's favourite fruit? Nectarines. Hi, Kyle. Hi, Kyle.

How's it going? Very good. I'm very excited to hear this joke of yours. Okay, so straight out the gate, as soon as you walk on stage, you walk up to the microphone and you ask, is there a mic in the building? Can you please raise your hand? And as soon as they do, you just go, well, that's the mic test done. On to the microphone and you ask, is there a mic in the building? Can you please raise your hand? And as soon as they do, you just go,

well, that's the mic test done. On to the show. And that's a wrap on Bree's Killer Comedy Set. You can catch the video up online soon. And apologies, there's no audio from Bree's set as it was far too inappropriate for the radio. Yeah, it got banned from being on a Facebook live stream. Luckily, it did.

Well, they banned it before they even heard it. And I think after last night, it would have been more than appropriate. You're a dirty, dirty woman. This is what radio listeners don't know. If you go to Brie's set, her comedy set, which I'll be promoting, just honestly, you need to have a bath afterwards. Too dirty? Too dirty to clean my act up.

Brie and Clint. Last night was... Brie's Killer Comedy Set. And God, it was good. I will have to say, I had a good time. I know you did, and I knew you would. It was fun. I backed myself as a promoter to put on an event that everybody would enjoy.

I didn't love travelling to the event in the hearse. We never revealed that. We got Bree in a funeral car to take her there. Or as I like to say, stretch limo. It's probably my least favourite. Although Rachel who drove me was lovely. It was just being in the hearse itself. Yeah, it was nice. They cleaned it especially.

What do we know, though? I've never promoted a comedy gig. You've never headlined a comedy gig before. Someone who has, who also performed on The Bill, is professional comedian and total spunk, Eli Mathewson, and he joins us on the phone now. Hi, Eli. Hello.

How are you going? You're good. Thanks for being part of Bree's killer comedy set last night. You really helped make it a special occasion. Thanks so much. It was an absolute pleasure. I've never really performed at a gig with such delicious asparagus rolls on the catering.

In the wake room, did you have those, Eli? Yeah. Beautiful rolls, yeah. We thought, seeing as it's happening at a funeral home, we have to get funeral-type catering. Yeah. So as we were going there... Well, I was in the entranceway.

You guys were pulling up in the hearse. Normally at a comedy gig, you'd have some pumping music to get everyone in the mood, but everyone's just silently watching. It's dead silent. Yeah, we didn't think about that part, actually. It's very awkward. We said it's our first gig, Eli.

So can we get a few critiques from you? We all critique your performance. Very good. 10 out of 10. Yeah, warm the crowd up very well. If you're going to a show in the Comedy Festival, make Eli as one of them. He's doing a show called The Apple at the Basement Theatre.

It's so funny. He's going to be great. But enough about you. What about us, Eli? Enough about you. Clint, great job promoting. It was well attended. Normally I do get paid more

for a gig, but I did appreciate the hug and the handshake. You're welcome. They're quite expensive. Yeah, well some people would say that's even better promoting, because I hustled to get an efficient bill, and by that I paid absolutely nothing. I didn't even pay for the venue.

It's not better for everyone who had to put work in, though. Okay, now put me aside. Forget me. I'm taking too much of the limelight, as per usual. It's good to know it's a free venue, though, because I might do that for my 30th, I reckon. Yeah. A good spot.

Yeah. Davis Funeral Homes. How do you think Bree went? Bree was so incredible. I mean, I'm a huge fan of Brie, and I really found out new things about parts of her body that I wasn't expecting to learn about. And now I've got quite a vivid visual,

which will be haunting my dreams for a long time. Yeah, it's burnt onto your retinas now. Yeah, burnt onto my retinas. Close my eyes, it's there. I know you comedians don't like all your gear being revealed because you've got to keep it a secret for the shows. But if you're going, be prepared for quite a graphic depiction of Bree's undercarriage done by her.

Like she takes you down there with like a full recreation of what it's like to groom her. And don't get naked. I just describe it. You may as well. The language is so vivid. It's poetry, really. We weren't allowed to live stream it on Facebook.

I'm amazed we were allowed to do it in a funeral home, to be honest. The staff seemed happy. The staff were up for it. The staff were loving it. They were great. No one usually laughs at their jokes. In fact, most of them.

Actually, let's not go there. You have organised shows. Bree believes that her material is R16. If we were to do another show, what rating, what censorship would you put on Bree's material? I don't know if it's an age thing, but I just think you need to be prepared to be haunted forever. So no matter what age you are, just know that you'll never stop thinking about Bree's b-hole.

Yeah, b-hole. Can I say b-hole on the radio? Yeah, you can say b-hole. We're inclusive. Great, beautiful. We've got the rainbow check. It's totally fine. Okay, well, that's a pretty glowing endorsement

from a real-life comedian, Eli Mathewson. Yes, and I shall transfer you the money for saying those kind things later, Eli. Yeah, thank you so much. You're welcome. Good luck with the comedy festival. We're looking forward to your show. I'll be there.

Thanks so much. Bree and Clint. Time is waiting. You only get one second of a song. No hesitating. You only got one second of a song No hesitating You only got one second, one second Knowing the names of songs is fairly important in the game we're about to play. This is the One Second Song Challenge. That's right.

We'll start a song. First person to buzz in, you or I, Clint, will get a chance to answer it. If you answer correct, that is a point. First to three wins. Pick your winner. And just by getting on air, you're in the draw for a brand new Samsung Galaxy S20 Ultra. Amanda gets to choose first.

Amanda, is Bree playing for you or am I playing for you? Can I please go for you, Clint? Yeah, you can. Yep, I'll do you. You sure can. That means, Shana, I'm playing for you. Awesome. I'll pick you anyway.

Oh, thanks, Sharna. Let's do this thing. Producer Ellie runs the game. Are we running a theme this week, Ellie? No. Can we blow it again? Straight up songs. That's fine.

That's fine. You own it. Whatever it is. All right. Are you ready for your first song? Wait, should we test our buzzers? Yeah, no, Bree, that's a great idea. Okay, yeah.

It's one of my favourite things of the week. Okay, you go. Nice. All right. What about you, Clint? Nice. Oh, these are rapid fire buzzers this week. Ooh, okay things of the week. Okay, you go. Nice. All right, what about you, Clint? Nice. Oh, these are rapid fire buzzers this week. We're good.

All right, hit off song one when you're ready, Ben. Clint. 660, White Lions. That is correct. Sorry, I won't get excited yet. It's only one song. All right. Buzzers are at the yet. It's only one song. All right. Buzzers are at the ready.

Ben, song number two. Breathe. One Direction. You don't know you're beautiful. That's what makes you beautiful. That's right. That's what makes you beautiful. That's right. That's what we're finished. Good work.

It's one all. Oh, that's an oldie. It is, isn't it? All right. Buzzers are at the ready. Hit it off, Ben. Bree. Oh, I don't know the band.

Now, do I give away the piece of information I know? That's a good question, do you? Or do you not? Or do you just pass? Yeah, because if I don't know the band, why give up the other piece? I mean, you'll probably know it anyway. I mean, if you're right. That's what I mean, if I am right.

Yeah, yeah. We got very little out of that. There was very little on air. I think I do know the title of the song, but I'm going to pass. Okay, I would like to pass as well, which means I'd like us to go back to the song. All right. Okay. Breathe.

I know. I know. It was the right song. Damn it. I've got the name of the song too. Who sings this stupid song? I don't know who sings it. It's Stacey's mum.

Has got it going on. Who sings it? Mmm. Mmm. Remember back at Singstar? Oh, you don't? It's Stacey's mum has got it going on. Who sings it? Remember back at Singstar? Do you remember picking it on Singstar? And it was... I know what it is! I know what it is! I found it.

I found it. You found it in your little database. Yeah. All right. You're good, Bree. Stacey's mum. Don't know it. Okay, Clint, would you like a free guess?

That is Fountains of Wayne, Stacey's mum. That's correct. Would never have got that, so I don't feel bad. Why is that in my brain? I don't know my wife's phone number, but I remember who sung Stacey's mum. Fountains of Wayne, that is the worst band name I've ever heard. Yeah, but I'll say hey. Terrible.

What's our score looking like? It's 2-1 to Clint. 2-1 to you. Okay. All right. Next one, Ben. Clint. Alright. Next one, Ben. Clint. That is

21 Pilots. No. No. I can't even remember the chorus. I just remember the first couple of words. Yeah, well, I'm going to have to count you down in a sec. Yeah, 5, four, three, two, one, pass. Yeah, okay. Bree, do you want a free guess on that?

I don't know what you're singing. I'm sorry. Nah, I don't know it. Okay, we'll keep playing the song, eh? It's not going to come to me. Unless we play the whole thing and go to the chorus. Can we go to the next song? Can we pass in on this song?

Yeah, we pass. We can? We can. We can both pass. All right, that was stressed out, by the way. Wouldn't have got it. Really? Wouldn't have got that either.

Okay, all right. I'm stressed out. Exactly. All right, next one, Ben. Brie. Oh, no. Come on, Brie. Frank Ocean.

Yeah. I nearly swore then. Yeah, don't do that. Lights? I don't know. That's incorrect. Did you want a free guess? I would love a free guess.

Would that be Brockhampton Sugar? That's correct. I love this song. Yes, yes, Clint does. That's why I picked it. He wins. Amanda. That's the winner, yeah.

Congratulations. We just won the one second song challenge. You've got some mobile fuel coming out to you. You bet. Thank you. Good job. No worries. Oh, my brain hurts. Brain closed.

How did I not get Brock Hampton? I mean... Kia ora, this is Toby Mann. I'm the host of Gone By Lunchtime, a podcast for the spin-off podcast network all about politics and politicians with me, Annabel Lee-Mather, and Ben Thomas, careering wildly from the very serious

to the very ridiculous. It's not for everyone. I don't think it would be Ellen's cup of tea, but you, I reckon, will love it. Gone by lunchtime. Grab one now wherever you get your podcasts. Bree and Clint. Last night, I did perform stand-up comedy,

my third time ever, because you organised me a gig at a funeral home. You're welcome. Yeah, thank you so me a gig at a funeral home. You're welcome. Yeah, thank you so much. It was so much fun. No, it actually was an awesome night. Met some really great people who came down to support our gig. It was really fun. The comedians, Eli,

Two Hearts, it was a great night. It was a great night at a funeral home. At a funeral home. I think it's the most fun anyone's ever had at a funeral home. All the guys from the funeral home were there. They were all really lovely. I was talking to... Davis Funeral Homes.

We should give them a plug. Yeah, we should. If you're looking to have your funeral anywhere... They're so great. ...can I recommend Davis Funeral Homes? Well, they are really great, really lovely people. I was talking to one of the girls. I don't know if she wants me to mention her name,

but she drove me to the gig. We were talking about all the different jobs you can have at the funeral home, like an embalmer, then you've got like the director, and then all these different jobs. You know what I found odd was how young the people were that worked there. A lot of young people.

Like I just imagine a group of funeral directors and embalmers and stuff as being old people. You do think that, but then you all like more than too often meet really young people who are into it. And we actually met a guy last night who came to the gig and he came up to us and he was like, oh, this is not unusual for me because I actually work at a funeral home as well. And we were like, okay, cool. And how old do you think he looked?

About 26, 27. Yeah, he was pretty young. And he told me that he got into, he's a funeral director now, and when he first got into the business, he was, like, real young. He was, like, 18 or something. Right. And I was like, oh, okay. And I was like, well, how do your friends feel about that?

Because it's quite unusual, especially as an 18-year-old. To choose that as your career. Yeah. Like, great career, and you're doing an important service, but it's a strange thing to go, that's what I want to do. And he said, you know what? It was people judge me so much, especially my friends at that age, I would tell them that I did something else.

What does he tell people that he does? Do you remember? Oh, no, I do remember. Yeah, he said he tells his friends that he does? Do you remember? Oh no, I do remember. Yeah, he said he tells his friends that he's an event planner. That's right. Well, which kind of thing he is.

Because he is. He just put a code word on it. Kind of the truth. And I guess if you say event planner Sounds pretty cool to 18 year olds, doesn't it? Sounds cool but it's also ambiguous enough

that I'm not really going to ask any questions. I don't really know too much about event planning. Oh, what sort of events do you organise? Oh, mostly private events. Get-togethers.

Yeah. Family. Similar large crowds, about 50 to 100 people. Mostly family celebrations. Yeah. A lot of underground events. Yeah. Some of the events are pretty lit.

Oh, my God. Sorry, we're talking about... I'm sorry. Talking about funerals. But then you and I were talking about it afterwards in the car and we were thinking, we're like, maybe this happens quite a lot. Yeah. And we thought, we've got a radio show, we can ask people listening.

Yeah. Is this something you do? Do you do something for a job? And maybe there's like a lot of different reasons you don't tell people. Might be Tebow, the job that you do. You might not be able to. Like you do a government, like a secret agent job or something. Yeah.

What else? Maybe you do a job that is frowned upon. Like maybe you work for a big tobacco company. Yeah. You know, maybe you work for a cigarette company. Yeah. And you just don't want to tell people that's what you do. So you have one job and you tell everybody that you have a different job.

That's what we want to know this afternoon. 0800 dial ZM. What's the job you actually do? But what do you tell people as your undercover job? Obviously, if you need us to, we can keep your name anonymous or we can give you a fun fake name. Why not? Maybe you've always wanted to be called Diana.

We can do that for you today. You can also text us on 9696. What do you do for a job? But what do you tell people you do for a job? We'd love to know. Bree and Clint. We had the big comedy gig last night at the funeral parlour.

It was amazing. Such a good time. Met a lot of amazing people and one of the guys we met actually said he worked at a different funeral parlour. And he said he started when he was really young. And he used to tell his mates that he actually was an event planner. Because they would get all weird about it if he told them that he was a funeral director. Yeah.

And technically he's not lying. He's just not giving all the details. Technically right. This is incredibly common we're finding. People who do this. A lot of texts coming through. a lot of funny ones too. Yeah. Someone said, I work as a physiotherapist and always get asked to massage people.

Now I just tell people that I do colonoscopies. There you go. No more questions asked. No one's asking for a free colonoscopy, are they? No. This person wants to remain anonymous. Hello, anonymous. Hello.

How are we? Good. First, let's hear what you tell people you do for a job. What I tell people is, I used to be a hairdresser. Then it just turned into I'm just working in retail now. Yeah. So that's... It's so much more simpler to tell people working retail now. Yeah. So that's kind of so much

more simpler to tell people. More generic. Yep. And what do you actually do? I actually go to work every day

and I catch shoplifters for a living. Oh, you're a store detective. Yeah, one of them. Wait, that's a thing? That's a cool job. You don't think so?

No. You do work in retail though. Kind of. She's in cool job. You don't think so? All right. You do work in retail, though. Kind of. Well, she's in the shop. More security. You work in retail. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

I didn't know that that was a job. Brendan, hi. G'day. Brendan, first tell us what you tell people you do for a job. I say that I'm a petroleum delivery technician. I did the exact same thing when I was in this job. Oh, so you work at a servo. Yeah, Challenge Fitzroy.

Yeah, boy. Yeah, shout out to Challenge Fitzroy. Help yourself to another pie out of the pie warmer and then forget to bring it up when you finish your shift, Brendan. Am I right? That's the one. That's the one. That's like working at Subway and saying you're a...

Sandwich artist. Yeah. That's just creative rebranding. I like it. This person also wants to be anonymous. Hello, Anonymous 2. Hello. Hi, is this me?

Yeah, that's you. Oh, hey, guys. Hello. What do you tell people you do for a job, Anonymous 2? Okay, so it's either just a social worker, no further information, or a community service officer. Yeah, no one even knows what that is really. You just go, oh, that's

lovely, don't know what it is. Yeah, just pretend like I do. Oh, cool, that must be awesome. And what's your real job? I am a social worker, but I work for what I can somebody here, or the government, Ministry for Children. Right, and you guys have been in the news a bit recently and you don't want to cop the conversation,

right? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, fair enough, Fair enough. Fair enough. No, we understand that. There's a few really good texts that I'd like to read out. Someone texted in and they said, I'm a forensic accountant and I tell people that I just work in admin. Even my partner of 13 years doesn't know what I do. I really like the human resources one. Oh, the human. Wait, where was that one? She said, I tell people I work in human resources, but I actually work in the adult entertainment industry

making those movies. Technically, you do work in human resources. Technically, yes. You handle human resources every day. Not really a lie. Tanya, what do you tell people you do for a job? We were in Europe last year touring on a bus and everybody would say,

what do you do for a living? I'd say, I work in insurance. They're like, oh, okay. Boring. So after a few of those, they said, so where do you work? I said, I'm a deep sea underwater rescue diver. And they're like, oh my God, are you?

Deep sea underwater rescue diver. Yeah. You're never going to see these people again. I love that. Tell them you also are a helicopter pilot or something. You know what's going to happen though? You guys are going to go and do like a sail Croatia or something and someone's going to drop their phone off the boat

and they'll go, Tanya, Tanya. This is your time to shine. Tanya, we need you. And you'll be like, sorry, don't have my bikinis. We've been covering the toilet paper poo-demonium is what we decided to call it, right? Poo-demonium, yeah. Poo-demonium or a poo-calypse.

A poo-calypse I like. A poo-calypse? I think a poo-calypse rolls off the tongue. People going crazy for toilet paper. Someone pulled out a knife at an Australian supermarket in a toilet paper aisle. People in New Zealand. I saw a video of people at Pack and Save. Lines of trolleys out the door to get toilet paper aisle. People in New Zealand. I saw a video of people at Pack and Save, lines of trolleys out the door to get toilet

paper. I heard Jacinda Ardern give a statement this morning going, it's not what I'd be doing. Apparently, there's stories out today as well that armed robbers have stolen hundreds of toilet rolls in Hong Kong. Right. So it's now a black market item. Oh, have you seen the videos that have come out? You're going to go out to town this weekend

and some guy's going to come up to you in the corner of a nightclub and go, psst, psst, do you want to buy some cotton softs? No, he's probably like, I've got three-ply, I've got two-ply, I've even got single-ply, what do you want? What do you want? What do you want? Single-ply? Cheap. It's good shit, trust me.? Cheap. It's good shit.

Trust me. It's cheap. It's good shit. News today that, this is from Australia again. I think Australia's... I think Australia is being really hit hard. It's a poonami over there. Yeah, but not. Like, they're going more crazy, but they're in the same situation as us.

A man at a shopping centre in Tamworth. Oh, Tamworth. That's country New South Wales. Has been taken down with a taser. It just says a 50 year old man was arrested after allegedly assaulting a Tamworth Shopping

World staff member and a fellow customer following a disagreement over toilet paper um that is what the world has come to honestly though um like because the problem is is there's all the people that have actually gone mad and they're full panic mode which we should not be no it's not not at that time you know we're not that's what the advice is yeah yeah and then there's also the people that aren't panicking, but they're also seeing all these people going nuts,

and they're like, well, I actually just need toilet paper. Yeah. So if I don't buy it. But it's sold out. Exactly. If I don't buy it and go crazy with the rest of these people. I said to you yesterday I'm considering, but I won't go to the supermarket.

I'll do an online shop. And I'll buy probably. Apparently online shopping, they're like taking toilet paper off the list. Oh, well, now I have to go to the supermarket. Which is not great, is it? No one knows what's going on. You can improvise, though, if worse gets to worse.

I listened to a statement in the Prime Minister game this morning, though, and the advice is still around... Improvise. No, no, no. There's paper towel. No, the advice is around coronavirus. Normal paper. Wash your hands. Tissues. And if you're sick, stay home. That, the advice is around coronavirus. Normal paper. Wash your hands.

Tissues. And if you're sick, stay home. That's all it is. Well, if Jacinda said it, then we just better stay home. Brie and Clint. And now it's time for Brie and Clint's most popular segment. Friday Okie. I love Friday Okie.

It's the best. I listen every Friday. I never miss Friday Okie. Thanks love Friday Oki. It's the best. I listen every Friday. I never miss Friday Oki. Thanks, Bree and Clint. You've made my Friday again. Friday Oki. That was our most popular segment until we had $80,000 to give away. Yeah, I feel like the secret sound is overtaken.

Hey, it's time for our second most popular segment, Friday Okie, where each week Bree and I take on a different song. We get 15 minutes with a professional audio producer, who this week was producer Ben. Yeah, so semi-professional. Semi-professional, yeah. Hey, no, you did a good job. You did a good job.

What we do is you hear both of our songs and then you vote. This week, just for voting, it puts you in the draw to win yourself a brand new Samsung Galaxy S20 Ultra released today. The most incredible phone on the market with the most incredible camera inside it as well. That's right. So it's a win-win this afternoon.

We're doing Harry Styles' Watermelon Sugar. Watermelon Sugar High. Watermelon Sugar High. I love this new Harry Styles project. I think the whole thing is fantastic. Yeah, it's very, very good. I just love that he's different. He's absolutely the best, most successful solo One Directioner.

It's a contentious issue between Brie and I. That doesn't matter right now. What matters is Friday Oaky. That's right. Seeing as it was my song that got chosen, I'll go first. It's a contentious issue between Brie and I. That doesn't matter right now. What matters is Friday Oaky. That's right. Seeing as it was my song that got chosen, I'll go first. I'm not looking forward to it. I found it to be, he's got a very good voice.

I think it'll be right in your wheelhouse. You might think that, but here we go. Here is my attempt at Friday Oaky. Tastes like strawberries on a summer evening And it sounds just like a song I want more berries and this summer feeling It's so wonderful and warm Breathe me in, breathe me out. I don't know if I could ever go without. I'm just thinking out loud. I don't know if I could ever go without watermelon sugar. Hi, watermelon sugar.

Hi, watermelon sugar. Hi, watermelon sugar. Hi, watermelon sugar. Strawberries on a summer evening. Baby, you're the end of June. I want your belly and that summer feeling. I get washed away with you. Breathe me in.

Breathe me out. I don't know if I could ever go without. Watermelon sugar high without Watermelon sugar high I'm so nervous after hearing that because you definitely can hold a tune better than me. It had its up moments and it had its down moments. There was a few really nice moments. Some other bits.

There was some other bits. Whose idea was it, can I just say, to do two full sections of that song? That's a good point too. It's quite long. Hey, that's mine. Now you need to listen to Breeze. This is Breeze Friday Oki. I want more berries and that summer feeling. It's so wonderful and warm. Breathe me in.

Breathe me out. I don't know if I could ever go without. I'm just thinking out loud I don't know if I could ever go without Watermelon sugar high Watermelon sugar high Watermelon sugar high Watermelon sugar high

Watermelon sugar Strawberries on a summer evening Baby you're the end of June I want your belly And that summer feeling Getting washed away in you Breathe me in Breathe me out, breathe me out

I don't know if I could ever go without Watermelon sugar high Watermelon sugar high Watermelon sugar high Watermelon sugar high Watermelon sugar high Watermelon sugar high Watermelon sugar high How are ya? Hi, watermelon sugar. Hi, watermelon sugar. Hi, watermelon sugar.

Hi, how are you? Watermelon sugar. Hi. It's so long. It's so long. Poor producer Ben had to do extra long ones and it was extra terrible. Producer Ellie, open the phone lines. We need five votes to pick the winner of Friday-oke this week.

And just for voting, you'll be in the draw to win a Samsung Galaxy S20 Ultra. Everyone who gets on air in our show today is in the draw to win the Samsung Galaxy S20 Ultra. So we'll take five votes to decide the winner after this. Can we never play that again, please? Every friggin' week. You've just heard some Friday Okies and now we need to judge some Friday Okies.

Friday Okies! Now, we've already established they were way too long. Way too long. And I knew this song was going to be difficult. This song being Harry Styles' Watermelon Sugar. Watermelon sugar high. Watermelon sugar high. Watermelon sugar high.

Mine sounded like this. Tear sucks. No, that's the long one. Don't play it again. For God's sake. Mine sounded like this. Oh no, if I could ever go without Watermelon sugar high. Watermelon sugar high. And Bree sounded like this. Watermelon sugar high. Watermelon sugar high. Watermelon sugar high.

Watermelon sugar high. Watermelon sugar. Look, it's a bit of fun. We know we can't sing, okay? That's the point. To the person who texted in and said, hey guys, here's an idea. Why don't you just play the song instead of doing karaoke?

No, the point is we're both bad. That's the point. We got five votes. One person's going to win Friday-oke and someone who votes could be winning themselves a brand new Samsung Galaxy S20 Ultra just for getting on here. Let's start with Genevieve. Hi, Genevieve. Hi.

Hi, Genevieve. Who wins it? Who's got your vote? Bree, please. Oh, thank you, Genevieve. I think it's very kind, but I will take it. Decisive. Bree, please.

Cool. Joseph, hi. Who's got your vote take it. Decisive. Bree, please. Cool. Joseph, hi. Who's got your vote for Friday Oaky? G'day, Joe. Oh, hey, guys. Can I just say, you're actually improving. Fuck you. Do you think?

I don't know who we are. We thought we were improving when we did Elton John and Kiki D. We had a good week. And then we did the Veronicas, and it was a drastic step backwards. But we'll take it. Who's your vote for this week? It's for you, Clint. Oh, thank you, mate.

I appreciate it. I don't blame you. One all. Let's go to April. Kia ora, April. Hi, April. Kia ora. Who's got it?

Who took out Friday Oki this week? I'm going to give it to Clint, actually. Fair enough, April. Thank you. Fair enough. April, I really appreciate it. All right, Josh, it's your turn. Who are you voting for?

I'll vote for Bree. Thank you, mate. I needed it or else it was a straight loss for me. It's done. They were quite good, eh, Josh, those versions we did? Oh, you know, they were bad. They were bad. Why did you go into a higher register?

Yeah, why did you go real high? Why did your voice change, Josh? Pass. No comment. One more vote. A decider, in fact. I love it when we get to this bit. Okay.

Summer. Hello, Summer. Tell us. Hi. Who's won Friday Oki this week? Clint. I don't know if I could ever go without. You nailed it.

Watermelon sugar high. Nice work, mate. This is my victory lap. Thank you, Summer. We really appreciate it. Thanks, Summer. Thank you. Just for voting, you're in the draw for that Samsung Galaxy S20 Ultra.

We're going to draw it live on the show at 6 o'clock tonight, okay? Cool. No worries. There we go. Another week done and dusted. What song are're going to draw it live on the show at six o'clock tonight, okay? Cool. No worries. There we go. Another week done and dusted. What song are we going to do next week? If you want to have an input on this, we get you guys to vote, actually.

If you follow our Instagram page, Bree and Clint, you can help us choose the song each week. I really wanted to do my song this week, the new Lady Gaga song, but no one voted for it because I don't think anyone knows it yet. Oh, right.

Okay. I think it'd be really fun. And I mean, Lady Gaga, yes, one of the best singers in the world. But I feel like this song, she's quite reserved. I really think you're overestimating your ability. I think we do that every week. Bree and Clint. Hey.

It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Bree and Clint's Birthday Banger. All right, Birthday Banger for a Friday. We do this every day at this time. We'll take your birthdays and we figure out what was number one on your 16th birthday. Mustang Sally, welcome to the show. Hi.

G'day, Sally. What's your birthday? It's 13th October, 1984. All right, you were 16 in the year 2000. The millennium on the 13th of October. And Sally, this is your birthday banger. Whoa, is this from the year 2000? Yep.

This is 20 years old. Rock DJ Robbie Williams. What do you think, Sal? I'm not a huge fan, but I've got my eight-year-old grinning at me from the car. He's very excited about it. He likes it. Okay, what's his name? Riley.

Riley. Okay, hopefully we can do it for him. Wait there. Zoe. Hi, Zoe. Hi, Zoe. Hi. What's your birthday, Zoe?

The 16th of May, 98. All right, you were 16 in 2014 on the 16th of May. And back in 2014, the 16th of May. And back in 2014, this had a number one hit. God, she was so big for a minute, wasn't she? Iggy Azalea. This song was mahoosive. Yeah.

Iggy and Charlie XCX. It's a great song. Fancy, do you like it, Zoe? Is this a good birthday banger for you personally? Yeah, that's a good jam. I like it. It's good. Cool.

One more. Let's go to Michael. Hey, Michael. G'day, Mick. Hey, guys. How are you? Good. How are you, Michael?

Not too bad. Are you on holidays for the weekend? No, working through. Oh, bugger. Well, let's get you a birthday banger to get you through. What's your birthday? 19th of June, 84. Right, you were 16 in the year 2000, also on the 19th of June. And in the year 2000, this also went to number one.

It's great from the top of my dome. It's a rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Funk MCs. This is a great birthday banger. Man, we've had some, yeah. I don't think this has ever come up before. No, it's never come up.

Do you like this as your birthday banger, Michael? I think that's definitely a good Friday banger. That is a tune for a Friday, I think. Okay, wait there. I'd be happy with any of these. My preference is Bomb Funk MCs. Bomb Funk MCs for me. Do you agree?

Yeah. Yes. Okay, where is he? Where's our man? Michael, you've won birthday banger. Congratulations. Yes, thank you very much. No worries.

And just for getting on air, you're in the draw for that brand new Samsung Galaxy S20 Ultra that we're going to draw at 6 o'clock. Well done. Good luck, Mick. Thank you very much. Here we go, everybody. Oh, yeah.

Freestyle. Start strong. And do it. Brian Clayton, this is Birthday Banger on ZM. You know what gas to flow on Select us on the radio Players, it's gonna be funny for ozone But that's not all, so hold on Sight, as a rocker, mic, right? Oh, excuse me, but So now it's a synchronizer

With the analyze app Come, it wipes the session This can be a lesson, question You carry protection Now with your heart going Like Celine Dion Come on, chameleon Straight from the top of a dome

As a rocker, rocker, rocker, rocker, rocker On the phone straight from the top of a dome As a rock, rock, rock, a rock, a rock, a microphone He's straight from the top of a dome As a rock, rock, rock, a rock, a rock, a microphone Style, steelo, we bring many kilos So you can make yours from the very old Ambitious, nutritious, delicious Deliveries are vicious, just tell us We deliver anything from a cappella to papillas

Suckers get jealous, try to serve with marshmallows You know they can't handle us like they made us dollars Yeah, we come scandalous, so who the fuck is a less shit for back in the palace? He's straight from the top of a dome Has a rock, rock, rock, a rock, a rock, a microphone He's straight from the top of a dome Has a rock, rock, rock, a rock, a rock, a microphone He's straight from the top of a dome

Has a rock, rock, rock, a rock, a rock, a microphone He's straight from the top of a dome Has a rock, rock, rock, a rock, a rock, a microphone Thank you. Freestyler Rock the microphone Carry on with the freestyler Straight from the top of the dome As a rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock Ziddy and Bree and Clint, that's the winner of Birthday Banger today from the Bomb Funk MCs and Freestyler. Did they have, they had one? No.

No? Did you look? There's no other Bomb Funk MCs hits. I thought they had one other. They would have had, every one hit wonder has a follow up song. That does okay. But if you can't remember what it is, then it wasn't a hit. That's from the year 2000 As was our other option

For winning today Robbie Williams Rock DJ He was The single biggest star In the world In the year 2000 What band was he from?

Take that That's right Name your favourite Take that song Robbie Williams No you can't Take that. That's right. Name your favourite Take That song. Robbie Williams. No, you can't. No, I can't.

Yesterday on the show, at this very time actually, we talked about the fact that Auckland council people... Boring. Yeah, boring, Chad. They're boring. Yeah, that's so... They're literally boring. Yeah, well, they. They're boring. Yeah, that's so... They're literally boring. Yeah, well, they're about to be boring. Underneath the city.

Have they not started boring yet? No, not in this bit. So the machine that is going to bore the tunnel underneath a large part of Auckland City to build the subway, the first ever subway in Auckland, not restaurant, train thing. I was thinking, ooh, Subway Underground.

No, no, no, no, the train. They're giving people the chance to name it, and they said it needs to be named after an influential New Zealand woman because this thing is going to have a huge impact on New Zealand, so they want to name it after a woman who's had a huge impact on New Zealand. Yes. Cool idea. The frontrunners were Jacinda Gere.

Still good. You had some good ones. No, I didn't. I thought I did until the text machine absolutely destroyed mine. So I said I was pretty proud of, because I'm terrible at puns, but I came up with Hillary Burrery. Yeah. And then everyone goes, Bree, you're an idiot.

It's not that. It's Drillery Barry. Drillery Barry. I didn't think of it either. Don't worry. Drillery Barry is 50 times better. Very good. I have here a list of names that were suggested to us that never made it to air yesterday which are all better than our ideas.

So they have to be named after influential New Zealanders. Former New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark, they could name it Hell in Dark. Because it's dark down there. Oh, right. Yeah. What about the one on the text machine that's just come through?

Someone texted through and they said instead of instead of just, what is it? Just Sin Digger. Yeah. They said what about Drill Cinder? Drill Cinder is good. Very good. What about naming it after famous New Zealand opera singer Dame Kiri Takanoa? What if we named it

Dame Kiri Takatanda? Because it's going to cut a tunnel underneath. Oh my god. Yeah, it's good. This was quite good. Someone texted and said, why don't you guys call the drill Anika Bora? That was probably, I laughed so

hard at that one yesterday. I laughed when they sent a follow-up text and they said, because of Anika Mora. Yeah, no, we got it. We work with her. She's in the same building. We know who that is. It doesn't really work because it's not a woman, but former Prime Minister

Bill English could call it Drill English. Right, because I saw another one which I thought was better than that for him. It was Bill the Drill English. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty good too. Actually, no, it's a man. No deal. Yeah, we're not taking men ones.

Okay, what about New Zealand's most successful supermodel and former wife of Rod Stewart, Rachel Hunter? Yeah. You could call it Ray Drill Hunter. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Pretty good. Are these dad jokes?

I don't know. Who can I ask? Who's Jean Batten? Famous New Zealand aviator, female aviator. Cool. I love that. Someone has texted through and they said the batonator. The badonator, yeah.

Yeah, that'll do. Not bad. Kate Shepard, who is the woman who got woman the vote. She's the lady who got woman the vote in New Zealand before any other country in the world. She's the leader of the suffragettes. Instead of Kate Shepard, what about Cut Shepard? Yes.

Cutting through rock. Former Silver Fernsepard? Yes. Cutting Through Rock. Former Silver Ferns. Former? Actually, I'm not sure. Silver Ferns Captain Laura Langman. What about Bora Langman? That's good. I like that.

And I think the best one so far, whether she's the most influential woman or not, I don't know, but I think it's the best pun we've received so far. Close personal friend of the show and renowned enemy of Brie Thomasel. What about Borla Bennett? Yeah, that's good. I like that.

Thanks for your suggestions. Show of hands in the room, who likes the game Uno? Yeah, I do. Or is it Uno? No, Uno. Uno, it's Uno. Because we figured it out, it's Uno, Dos, Trace.

It's one card and you have to yell out Uno, so it's Uno. You like it? Yeah, I haven't played it for a very long time, but I've got fond memories of it. It is a good game. It's very good. Gets very competitive. Well, what if I told you there's an adult version of Uno? What makes it adult? It's very good. It gets very competitive. Well, what if I told you there's an adult version of Uno? What makes it adult? It's called

Drunk Uno. Yeah. And essentially this is a real thing, unless I've been duped on the internet again. Are you taking memes as news again? Oh, damn it, not again! No, this is a real thing, I'm pretty sure, because there's a price and everything. So apparently Are you taking memes as news again? Oh, damn it. Not again.

No, this is a real thing, I'm pretty sure, because there's a price and everything. So apparently it's a game of Uno, essentially, but the rules are a little bit different. And obviously, of course, we encourage responsible drinking on this show. Absolutely. But I'm just reading out the facts of the game. Go on then. So apparently you just play a game of Uno. And when you get a draw two card, that means you do one shot. A draw four card is two shots.

A reverse card, the person who gets reversed takes two shots. If you get a skip card, person skipped takes a shot. False Uno, three shots. Right. You don't need to pay for this. You couldn't play... No, no, no. Wait. So this is what the game comes with. Oh, okay. It comes with extra things. Oh, okay.

Because I was going to say, just write yourself some new rules and play with old Uno. I know, yeah. It could just, yeah, literally play with the normal game. So apparently it comes with one box of Uno cards, one laminated rule card that has all the new rules on it, six customised Uno shot glasses, one customized drunk Uno carrying box.

So essentially you just buy six shot glasses and you've got the game. Yeah, and laminate your own instructions so that if one of you spews during adult Uno, you don't lose the rules. That's why they're laminating it. Yeah. That's exactly why they're laminating it. Also, simplify the rules. You're like, draw two,

that's one shot. Draw two, two shots. Draw four, four shots. Also, it means the game will be incredibly short. And you only ever play one game. That's it. Something else that's a bit crazy is I feel like, when did reality

TV really take off? Was it like early 2000s? Yeah, it was when the Osbournes were on TV. When Survivor came out and Jessica Simpson and Nick. Nick Lachey. Yeah, they were one of the first TV shows. So he's hosting. Love is Blind.

Yeah. Yeah, with his new wife. Yeah. Yeah, which is a new reality TV show. He brings absolutely nothing to the show, by the way. Yeah, he's literally in like every, what, 10th episode? Yeah, and he just walks in and reads off a script and he goes, okay, this is what's happening. I'm Nick Lachey.

Well, he'd be getting paid a fortune, wouldn't he? Yeah, actually, get your money, Nick Lachey. Yeah, you get it. I don't imagine you've had a payday from A1 recently. Well, there's a new dating show that I've come across and it actually starts. What's the date today? Today's the 6th of March. It starts on the 10th of March.

And the show name, when I first saw it, so this is knowing nothing about what the show is, threw me off a little bit. Cool. The show is called, it's a new reality show. It's called Five Guys a new reality show it's called five guys a week oh whoa i don't know what no we're not here to shame anybody no i'm not here to shame anyone that's what you want to do is it actually isn't that just the plot of the bachelorette yeah kind of like she's going on five dates a week with five different guys five guys a week yeah that's what she's doing, just not.

Well, essentially it's kind of the same, I guess, but this is a show where one woman will invite five men into her home as live-in boyfriends. At the same time? At the same time. Great show. All at the same time. So all the potential suitors all have the opportunity to win the affections of the woman,

battling out in different competitions as they all live under the same roof. Is that the artwork for the TV show? Oh, that's suggestive. They're all in the same bed. They're all in the same bed. There's this woman in the middle and there's five guys surrounding her in the bed. But it's 2020 if that's what she wants to do. To be fair, one of them's eating toast. One of them's reading the newspaper But it's 2020 If that's what she wants to do To be fair

One of them's eating toast One of them's reading the newspaper One's having a coffee One's got cereal It's not as It's not as It's not as Pornhub as it sounds

No We've got a clip here From I think The promo of the show Okay From the show Five guys a week Here we go

These single women Are about to try A different kind of dating They're inviting Five potential suitors To move in with them, all at the same time. Here's to even my five boyfriends. Side note, who's still using the word suitor?

Yeah, I know. Like, this is not ye olde England town. We have found you a suitor, madam. He is in your bedchamber. Take off your chastity belt. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.