ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – November 17th 2020

Episode Date: November 17, 2020

What’s the best fruit?The LatestHorse newsHot Sauces – is she in the wrong?Multivitamin chatAdvent calendarsInsta Fame Game!When did karma have your back?Birthday Banger!Are you on OnlyFans?Pope liking picsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, check one two. Hello, hello. Welcome to the Brie and Clint podcast, everybody. How you going? How's your day been? What's on your mind? What's going on? Pretty good. Oh, thanks, Ben. My mic wasn't on, so hey. Hey. Brie? Yeah, I'm alright. Yeah. We've been reading this book by James Blunt that's in the studio today um which james blunt totally underrated celebrity isn't he um the entire

book is just his um tweet replies to people so people who have tweeted him and then what he's replied for example jay raw tweeted james blunt now i have james blunt stuck in my head to which james blunt replied and my balls on your chin. Very smart. Yep. I want to go and see James Blunt so I can... Oh, no, I'm not reading that one. Oh, whoa. These tweets are very funny, but it'd be a shame to have a book out and then now your tweet is in there.

Like, if it's your one they tweeted. Someone tweeted him. You never answer my tweets. Want to be friends? James Blunt answers. No, I just want you to buy my damn album. Fair. Man's gotta make money.

Don't know if I can imagine much worse than James Blunt's new album. Kids these days have no imagination. Some of these are good. Some of them are average. Every girl needs a James Blunt. I thought every girl has a James Blunt. No, wait, these were meant to be good.

Someone goes, I'd like you to know I'm going to be having sex with your new album later. James Blunt replies, sex on your own is actually just called wanking. Also, did anyone just imagine the guy putting his thing through the hole in the CD? No, it was just you And how small is your penis? Well, no, not mine I'm referring to the guy who No, well, if you're imagining that

Stop saying that my penis is straw thin Okay? It's a bad rumour It's one of the most hurtful things you've ever said We're saying different How often are rumours true? Quite often Never? What?

No that's the rumour, not true Straw thin James Blunt has a Twitter What would he even tweet about? James Blunt replied Boning your mum The ones you read out before They were very funny

Does James Blunt have a vagina? James Blunt replied, if I did, I would never go out. Wow. Someone said, James Blunt's Twitter isn't run by him, you fuckwits. James Blunt, yeah, right. Justin Bieber runs it. What? James Blunt, how do you get a girl with your music?

James Blunt. No, I can't say that. No, sorry, I can't say that. No, this book's inappropriate. No, I love it also. James Blunt tweeted, can't believe Justin Bieber's balls dropped before mine. That's good.

Lucky man. Very good. James Blunt wrote, I'm making a solo sex tape. We'll leak it online shortly. Someone tweeted, James Blunt looks like a serial murderer. James Blunt tweeted, I know where you live. The book, by the way, if we've tickled your interest, is called James Blunt, How to Be a Complete and Utter Blunt. Someone, James Blunt, tweeted, I'd fuck me. He's underrated.

Did you know he was in the British SAS? Yeah, I did know that. He went to school with the Royals, I think, too. Really? No, maybe he was in the Air Force with them Really? Or he was in the Air Force with them. Oh, he was in the Air Force with them. He's had a fascinating life. There's heaps of random stuff about him.

Some of these are so dirty. Someone tweeted, I almost can't tell if it's James Blunt or Adam Levine anymore. James Blunt. Adam's wearing the ribbed condom. Oh. Jesus. I need to start being more ruthless on Twitter, I think.

Obviously, it's okay there. Twitter, you can. Twitter's kind of just over there doing its own thing. But if you get into a Twitter takedown, Twitter, like, Twitter piles in on you. Like, if you're not Flavour of the Month on Twitter, there's a thing that happened, oh, no, actually, it's boring.

But, yeah, this old school commentator said something on Twitter. There's a thing that happened... Oh, no, actually, it's boring. But, yeah, this old school commentator said something on Twitter last night. And I'm pretty sure he said it and then turned his phone off, like how you imagine old people would tweet. Do your tweet, turn your phone off, put it down for the night. That's the plot to the movie Chef.

Is it? Yeah. What happens in Chef? He tweets and puts his phone down. He's older and he ends up tweeting. He thinks he's writing a personal inbox to this food critic, but it's actually a tweet and then it goes ballistic. Oh, right.

Well, that's what happened last night. Yeah. He basically said that real men don't cry and then put his phone down. Yeah. What a fucking idiot. Yeah. Why did he say that? I don't think he's a bad guy.

I think he's old and out of touch. And he's an icon. The guy who did it, he's like, you know what Ray Warren is to Australian sport? He's that to New Zealand sport. Oh wait, this was in New Zealand? Yeah, it was in New Zealand. Anyway, the internet just went in on him. To the point

that the internet bullied him for bullying people. That's not okay either. Okay, well, that's not okay. It went a bit far. That's not okay either. But my opinion, nothing hotter or sexier than a man who cries. You must be attracted to me then. No, but you're sleep-deprived crying. No, actually.

Well, I know there's categories. Okay, what sort of crying do you find sexy? Oh, my God. What is the crying that you find sexy? Oh, when a guy cries at a wedding. Is it a sad cry? When a guy cries at his wedding. Oh, that's so hot.

Or when a guy cries when he's sad. Stop finding guys hot at their own wedding. No, everyone does it. Everyone would do it. It's literally too late. At that stage, it's literally too late. I'm allowed to look. It's not a crime.

I saw this thing on Facebook the other day it was really interesting and it was like a microscopic um picture of different tears we all thought you were gonna say penis no it's this is actually really interesting um so it's different yeah microscopic pictures of um so when someone has cried when they were sad so they've got like those tears and then they they've got like happy tears, tears of grief, and like all these different types of tears, and they all look completely different. I always go to in my head with those experiments, how did they get the tears?

Because if you need those specific occasions, how do they get someone, how do they get them to cry grief tears? How did they clone a sheep? Well, they extracted its DNA and then replicated it in a lab. Yeah I mean it can be done. I mean if they can do that then they can get someone's tears. Shrek the sheep? No, Dolly the sheep.

Yeah, Dolly. Shrek was the sheep that went missing and hadn't been shorn for seven years and then New Zealand got a full sheep boner for it and we shore it live on TV1 at seven o'clock. It was some of the most New Zealand shit of all time. It was. We were like, Shrek, Shrek, Shrek, Shrek.

He's an icon. And then as soon as you just shave him, it's like, okay, we're done. Yeah. Just a sheep. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's what he was like. How long did Dolly live for?

Have they cloned any? Oh, do you know Barbra Streisand cloned her dogs? Really? Yes. What? She's cloned her dogs. Who did dog? You know, there's a company in America.

I want to say America that you can clone your pet. Yeah. That's who Barbra Streisand used, right? I'm pretty sure. And she was like one of the first ones. Barbra Streisand. Yeah. Cloned a dog.

Let's have a look. Dying. Cloned dogs. Cost. You guys want to know how much it costs? Would you give your cloned dog the same name as the original dog? Oh, that's a... I don't...

I could never ever... It'd be like cloning a kid. Yeah. I couldn't do it. It's a fucked up thing to do, to be honest. Yeah, it's a... I don't... I could never ever... It'd be like cloning a kid. Yeah. I couldn't do it. It's a fucked up thing to do, to be honest. Yeah, it's not the same. Because you can easily get a dog that looks the same as your other dog. You get a dog that's...

If you had a black lab, go and get another black lab. Well, it's not even about the way it looks. It's a little life that's got a personality and whatever. Just get another dog. Just get another one. And you'll bond with that dog too, hopefully. You're not going to be able to say to the cloned dog, oh, remember that time we went to the park when you... No. No, I'm not the same dog. You'll bond with that dog too, hopefully. You're not going to be able to say to the cloned dog, remember that time we went to the park?

No, I'm not the same dog. She's not going to know all the same. Genetically, I am the same dog. It looks the same. Anyway, Barbra Streisand cloned her dog for any guesses? $400k.

I'll go $200k. $50k. That's not much. 400k I'll go 200 50 grand Barbra Streisand It's not much Bargain That's pretty good You can get some purebreds for that much Yeah

She might as well How pissed off would you be if you cloned your dog And then it comes out the cloned one And it barks And the bark sounds different to the old dog Can you imagine if she cloned it before the Hey Before the other one was dead?

And then that one grows up and it's like, wait, are you me? And then that one's like, no, are you me? Wait, you look like me. And then they're sooober confused. Imagine she clones it before the other one dies, and then that dog humps the other dog, and it's essentially humping itself. Yeah.

Barbra Streisand. I wonder if anyone else has had their dog cloned. Did anybody finish watching their Netflix show with

I'd watch a Netflix show about cloning. Did you yeah did you watch the one with who's the guy we all love from Clueless?

Paul Rudd. Yes. And he cloned himself. I've watched it. Did you finish it? Something dead. Yeah. Undead? No. Dead to me. Dead to me. Dead to me. Dead to me. Yes And he cleansed himself I've watched it Did you finish it? Something dead Yeah Undead?

No Dead to me Dead to me Dead to me Did you finish it? I did Good? I watched the first two episodes

It was pretty good I didn't mind it It was quite intense in some parts Wasn't it living with yourself? Oh living with myself? Dead to me was the one Dead to me is the one about the two chicks Yes That's right

The one of the murders And they kill each other's husbands Oh, I think you've just Is it a spoiler? Well, in season two for me Oh, God One Okay, season two came out six months ago God One!

We've had a lock I was waiting We've had a lockdown since then Clint, I was really excited You asshole Well, you know what happens in The Queen I haven't seen it We've had a lockdown since then. Clint, I was really excited. You arsehole. What are you doing? Nice.

Well, you know what happens in the Queen's... I haven't seen it. You know what happens in the Queen's gear, then? No, you shut up. No, because I'm going to watch that. You know what happens? I'll stop the podcast. I'll stop it if you say that. I'll stop it.

Princess Diana dies in the crown. Have a great podcast, everybody. That was distasteful. Ben's cancelled. After everything that just got said in that intro, it's Ben who gets cancelled. Hey Google, what's the time? It's 3pm, give or take a minute. Alexa, play ZM on iHeartRadio. Playing ZM on iHeartRadio. Hey Siri, when are Brie and Clint on?

Brie and Clint are on air in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Hello. Hello. Oh, hi everybody. Yeah, no, the mics are on. Yeah, I was just trying to get a more casual intro to the show. How are you feeling? Hello.

How am I feeling? Yeah. Good. Yeah, pretty good. Been a good day. How you been? A bit homesick, to be honest. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's not good. See, that's answering truthfully. Now you try and answer truthfully. How are you doing? Pretty full of meatloaf, to be honest. I knew you couldn't be serious. I am being serious. There's nothing else going on. You sure? I went to the doctor. I've got a weird lump on my rib cage, and I don't know what it is, but I'm sure it's fine.

Probably a calcium deposit. Yeah, right. Is this the radio that people are after? No, I don't think so. No, I don't think it is either. So we'll revert back to our old style. Hey, how you going, everybody? Today on the show, we're going to say thank you very much. Thanks to mobile at four o'clock.

We'll give you some details on what and how you can win that soon. Plus, we're playing the Insta Fame game for more free mobile fuel before five o'clock, ten to five this afternoon. Next, though, debate's been raging in the studio. Debate. About the top three. About the top three, yeah. What is the top three?

What is the greatest three of all time? Who are the three goats? Yeah. Who are the three goats? Of the pack. Yeah. Out of all of them. Who stands out?

One of the best. In first, second, and third the most. Yeah, there's so many good ones. But if you had to choose three. Who would it be? In what position? Yeah. Oh, yeah. What colour? What are we talking? Oh, who would it be? In what position? Yeah. What colour? What colour? That's a good one.

What um What variety? What variety, yeah. What nationality? If you have no idea of what we're talking about, I'm kind of confused now at this point as well. We'll reveal what that is in just a second. But we are going to drill down on the top three with you guys.

Let's start with brand new Billie Eilish, though. This song dropped over the weekend. It's called Therefore I Am. Brie and Clint. This is ZM. I mean, Brie and Clint, this is ZM. Brie and Clint. I know you're all here going, top three what?

I know you're going to decide on the top three, but the top three what? I know you want to know. I know you want to know. And that's okay because we're about to tell you. We're about to find the top three what? I know you want to know. I know you want to know. That's okay because we're about to tell you. We're about to find the top three. Fruits. Yeah, fruits. I know you're probably thinking,

God, is this scraping the barrel? Hear us out. It's actually when you think about it, you break it down. Quite an interesting race for the top three fruits of all time. Yeah, and do you really have drilled down in your head what your top three are? You might think you know, but do you know?

And have you given the right consideration? So we need to put all of our cards on the table here and be open and honest. Yes. We are going to give out our top three before we ask for yours. And this is going to be a points-based system. Producer Anastasia is going to keep a points tally. She just found that out.

Oh, yeah. We need you to keep a points tally. You need to take all votes for all different fruits. Yeah. We will get to the bottom of who gets the most votes. But you need to state your bias early in this competition, okay? Oh, I mean, I did grow up on an apple orchard. And my dad is an apple orchardist.

So that's just important to know. You need to know who you're listening to and who you're taking advice from in this situation. So that's out of the way. I reckon let's just do it. You want to table your top three fruits? Do you want to go first? I'm still trying to figure it out.

Are you? You go first. It's crunch time, baby. Excuse the pun. It's crunch time. Well, I'm ready. Okay, you're ready. I want to hear it.

I want to hear it. Okay, my top three fruits in no particular order. Number one, pineapple. Oh, I do love pineapple. Pineapple. I love pineapple. Because as soon as you eat pineapple, whoa, it's like I'm on holiday. Instantly.

You could be anywhere in the world when you have pineapple. And it's in a pina colada. And it's in a pina colada. And it's on Hawaiian pizza. Whoa, I'm on holiday. Instantly. You could be anywhere in the world when you have pineapple. It's in a pina colada. And it's in a pina colada. And it's on Hawaiian pizza. Whoa, I'm on holiday. Okay, fruit number two. We're accepting berries in this category, right? Yes, berries are included.

Because I don't know if this is a fruit or a berry. No, it's a fruit. A berry is a fruit. Strawberry. Yeah, strawberries are good. Strawberry. They seem so special. I don't know why. When you're having a strawberry, you feel special. Yeah, strawberries are good. Strawberry. They seem so special. I don't know why.

When you're having a strawberry, you feel special. Yeah, maybe that's it. And they're only available for a little while. Yeah. And my third and final fruit. Now, I'm doing this because I'm your friend. Okay. I'm going to give it to Apple.

Okay. You know my dad's listening. I do know your dad's listening. The reason why Apple has to be in there, and then I've just given away one of mine, Apple's in mine, because it's so easy. You can put it in your bag. It doesn't get bruised or go brown that easily.

You can just bite straight into it. It is a versatile food. I just worry that it's a bit basic. You don't need a knife. You can just bite straight into it. Not all fruits are that easy. All right, one to apple. I'm going to have to, because, I mean,

apple is a little bit basic. I will give you that. So I thought, let's think tropical. How can you not have mango in there? Oh, mango. And there's also a fun element to mango. Yeah, mango's like pineapple. When you cut two sides and then you poke it out, it makes a little hat.

Okay, mango. You're really thinking outside the box here. I do love sucking on the seed too. That's a good time. Yeah. Third and final. You've. Okay, mango. You're really thinking outside the box here. I do love sucking on the seed too. That's a good time. Yeah, third and final. You've got one more vote. Third and final. Now this one's even, you know,

a little bit more outside the box, but hear me out. How good is passion fruit? Passion fruit. Yeah. Everything's flavoured passion fruit because it's awesome. Before we throw this thing wide, are you

ready for a celebrity vote? Yes, who is it? Please welcome to the show our first celebrity top three fruiter, Bree's dad, Big Steve. Hi dad. G'day guys, how are you? The apple orchardist himself. If there's anyone

who's a fruit expert, it's my dad. Yeah, he's grown apples for what, 30 years, 40 years? Longer, his whole life. 50 years, his whole life. 60 years. How controversial will it be if apples are not in his top three? Very. Big Steve, can we please get your top three fruits?

Yeah. So, obviously, I'm going to go with apples is number one. Okay. Done. Apples is in. Can I just say why? Yeah, go one. Okay. Done. Apples is in. Can I just say why? Yeah, go on. You've got to remember, apples have got a long, long history.

You know, when Eve tempted Adam in the garden, she didn't say to Adam, hey, mate, have a look at my bananas. She said, check out me apples. He said that afterwards. Yeah. All right, apples. Apples are in. Okay, apples are in. Apples are in. All right, apples. Apples are in. Okay, apples are in.

Number one. Yep. And then next, this is a bit of a general one, but stone fruit. Oh, yeah. Stone fruit. No, no, no, you can't say all stone fruit. You have to say which. Peaches, plums, nectarines.

All right. Okay. Nectarines are my favourite. Nectarines. Okay, yep. And number three, black musket grapes. Oh, yeah. They make wine.

We're going to put you down for grapes, okay? Yeah. Yep. Is that okay? Musket. No, no, sorry. Red grapes. Because if you say black musket, it's not going to get enough votes.

Purple grapes. You need to be more general. I think there's purple or there's green. Okay, purple or green grapes? Righty-o. Well, which one? Purple. Well, I'm going purple. There you go. Okay, purple or green grapes? Righty-o. Which one? Purple. Well, I'm going purple.

There you go. Purple. There you go. Well, our votes are in. And now it's over to you, New Zealand. 0800-DIAL-ZM. What are the top three fruits of all time? You get three votes.

Yep. And whatever gets the most votes is in the top three. That's it. The national top three. And it's done. There's no coming back. You can also text us on 9696. What's in your top three fruits?

And we will never have this conversation again. All right, but let's get the votes first. Look at you like a shit. Bree and Clint. Here on the Bree and Clint show, we like to canvas the issues that concern all New Zealanders. And that's why on the show today, we're trying to figure out what are the top three fruits of all time.

Like, have you ever sat down and thought to yourself, if I had to have a top three, like if someone said to you, look, we're building an ark and we can only bring three fruits, which are they going to be? It's up to you to make a decision right now. Go. I'm concerned there's no citrus in my list. I've just realised that there's no citrus at all.

No acid. Do I have citrus? Just restate yours quickly. Mine are apple, mango, passion fruit. No citrus. Oh! Passion fruit? Passion fruit is citrusy. Is it? I don't know.

Mine was apple, pineapple, strawberry. Pineapple's citrus, isn't it? I don't think so. This is why we're qualified to have this conversation. We're going to race through these because Anastasia needs to compile the votes quickly. Before we do, producer Ben, hit us with your hot fire top three fruits of all time. I had pear, banana and mandarin. Pear, banana, mandarin.

Mandarin. Yeah. I love mandarin. Get out of here. Oh, banana. No, banana's pretty solid. Yeah, I like it. It's pretty solid.

Anastasia, your top three fruits of all time. I'm adding these to the list, right? Yes. One vote for each fruit. Apple, raspberry and apricot. I knew you, smart woman. I think Apple's going to romp in. Thanks, Ellie.

They're all good with me. She just called me Ellie. One of the callers. Okay, here we go. Let's get into this. Kim, welcome to the show. What are your top three fruits of all time? How's it?

My top one has to be Fijoa. Fijoa is my number one. I love Fijoa. It's a great New Zealand tie there too. Yes, definitely. Number two for me is a stone fruit, nectarine. Nectarine's good.

And of course, strawberries. Strawberries, yes. Strawberries. Any type of alcohol. Now, I like strawberries. Solid, Kim. I like it. On a summer day.

I like how you're forward thinking. You're thinking about what fruits go well with alcohol. That's good. Hot fire top three. Courtney, come on. We need these votes. What are the best three fruits? Yeah, hi.

How are you guys? Good. Thank you, mate. Watermelon would be my top. How have we not mentioned watermelon? Watermelon is awesome. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Okay. You're the first vote for watermelon. Yeah. Second would be strawberry. Sorry. I was trying to think about that. Yep. And third, banana.

Banana. Strawberries and bananas go well together. All right. Thank you, Courtney. No, banana's all right. It's all right with me, a banana. Banana. I like a banana, but it's not in the top three, you know.

Ellie, hi. Hi, Ellie. Hi. How are you guys? Good. Thank you, mate. Hot fire. Give us all three.

Can I just state my bias before I start? Oh, actually, that's important. Tell us, yes. I worked in selling cherries and stone fruit for four years and now I work in the supermarket industry and fresh. So I really know my stuff. This is what we really need. Yeah, you are an expert.

Yeah, we need your opinion, Ellie. Okay. So my number one has to be cherries. See, how did I miss it? Cherries are my favourite damn fruit. Are we talking the big ones? That's so good. The big units?

That's so good. Yeah. Yum, yum, yum. Okay, yum, yum, yum, cherry. Number two, I have to agree with Anastasia, apricot. Yeah, apricot is good. Specifically at Moor Park, if we're in Central Otago. Very nice, very nice.

Yeah. And your last one? Number three, mango. So tasty. Mangoes, MVPs. Very nice. Very nice. Yep. And your last one? Number three, mango. So tasty. Mangoes, MVPs. Mangoes are out of the box choice. I thought that when Bree put it in there. But it's good.

It's very good. Okay, this is our last vote that we're getting in here. Alex, take us home. What is the top three fruits of all time? Right, so... Results after this, by the way. Yeah, results.

At the end of this, we'll have our definitive top three. So Alex... Oh my gosh. Yeah. Depressor the way. Yeah, results. At the end of this, we'll have our definitive top three. So Alex. Oh, my gosh. Depressor. It's big, Alex. So my number one is apples, but it has to be the Granny Smith apples. Okay, that's fine.

But that is just a vote for apples. We'll have you know that. But it also goes to jazz and red gala. Yes, of course. Not to red delicious. They're crap. Secondly is cherry. You can't beat a good cherry.

I am with you 100% on that. Yep. And my third and final one is grapefruit. Grapefruit? Grapefruit. The real sour one. Grapefruit. Yeah.

The food you can't have if you're on the pill. Listen to Alex. Alex is like, yeah. What's wrong with it? I mean, I can't have grapefruit because I'm allergic to citrus fruit, but I still love it. Wait, wait. Your favourite fruit.

Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm allergic to a lot of fruits too. Okay, all right. Alex, thank you for wearing us out. We've done it. We now cross live to Anastasia, who has the tough job of compiling all of these votes. These are votes from the text machine as well.

There is no going back from this. There's no going back. This is a binding referendum on fruit. Unlike Donald Trump, this result can't be contested. We will be sending this in an email to Jacinda Ardern afterwards. In no particular order. Anastasia. Top fruit comes in first.

Apples, five votes. Yes! Followed by... Wait, don't say five votes. It makes it sound like we haven't had many votes. Oh! It makes it sound like we're just making this up. Number one. Number two, strawberries. Then I think it was like five or six tied for third, so.

What, five or six fruits? Yeah. Pick one. Just pick one. You could have just lied and picked your favourite. Oh, okay. Apricots. There we go. No, it wasn't.

No. You said to pick one. the... Can you just say what the top three was? Apples, strawberries, and apricots. Thank you, Anastasia. I don't care. Like, I'm pretty happy with that. I just need, I have big concern for whoever texted through and said papaya

was in their top three. And whoever said persimmon, you need to go with your head, Ruse. Oh my god, no. Everybody. Bree and Clint from iHeartRadio. This is The Latest

live from LA with Dean McCarthy. No Dean today, but today I was watching an interview with Benny who picked up four New Zealand Music Awards on Sunday night,

which brings her total to eight New Zealand Music Awards in two years. Yeah, that's a ton, isn't it? Isn't that crazy? She's got eight of those little statues. She was asked, where are you going to keep them?

Where do you put eight tuis? This is what Benny said. Where are they all going? I know that you just bought yourself a house. You're going to go on your bathroom. Your bathroom. Why the bathroom? Because the bathroom is where you sit

and you like look at stuff. Put the best piece of artwork on the back of the door in the bathroom? Because the bathroom is where you sit and you like look at stuff. Put the best piece of artwork on the back of the door in the bathroom because you're there for the longest amount of time. Makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? It was always the way in our house. My mum put her favourite painting on the back of our toilet. Yeah. Wall.

It's got to be something quite detailed because you need to be able to find new things in there each time. Ours was the picture of Elvis. Oh, yeah. It was quite unsettling when you were... Elvis watching you do your business. Yeah. Oh, I'm all sugar.

The king watching you while you're on the throne. Yeah. Also, how good is that little bit where we found out Benny's just bought herself a house? Oh, yeah, I didn't even... Did she buy a house? Yeah, Benny bought a house. In Auckland. Well, I assume in Auckland that's where she lives.

Oh, I've got to get into the music business. Ballin', eh? So ballin'. All you need is a global hit or three. I mean, how hard could it be? How hard could it be? Yeah, how hard could it be? That's the latest brought to you by Cookie Time,

celebrating 35 years of Christmas cookies. You can book a seller now at christmascookies.co.nz. We don't often get this on here, but I know it will excite a certain sect of our audience. Well, I've got some horse news, everybody. Producer Anastasia, I know this will be exciting you. Horse news. It's our debut horse news.

Have we ever had horse news before? Not sure. This is, it's not good horse news, by the way. A horse ambulance has been stolen from the Awapuni race course in New Zealand. It's a specialist trailer used to treat injured horses, including a hydraulic system to lower and raise the horse. And someone's hooked it up to their trailer and they've stolen the horse ambulance. Who steals a horse ambulance?

Therein lies the million dollar question. Like where are you going to get rid of that and resell it anyway? What are you doing with a horse ambulance? Like do they, oh, it must be someone who owns horses. Maybe. Or is it someone who went to the races and you know how you do some silly things after the races and you maybe...

Yeah, not steal a horse ambulance. Maybe ride a wheelie bin down the road. Not bloody take a horse ambulance. Yeah, you come home with a road cone or a street sign. Yeah, a little bit different. Imagine waking up. You're like, hey, Gary, did you take this horse ambulance in the front yard? Nah, I did take that traffic cone though. It's quite an involved process because you would

have had to hook the horse ambulance up to the car and then drive off with the horse ambulance. You couldn't even take it by accident. It's not even like you go... There's quite a lot of work involved, I think. Anyway, if you've recently visited the Owoponi Racecourse and you've woken up with a horse ambulance at your house, registration 26R38. They would really like the horse ambulance

back because... They need it. It's a goddamn horse ambulance. They can't go in a regular ambulance. Can you imagine? The ambulance turns up. Where's the patient? Oh, he's right here. No. I don't think we've got a defib for that.

You're going to need a horse ambulance for that. Well, funny story, actually. We don't have one. Got a bit of a debacle. I feel like we can all unpack together. This one's quite a good story too. I feel like I know which side I'm sitting on for this, but I'd love to hear what side you're sitting on.

So this is the inbox that I read, okay? This is what it says. Am I the jerk for sending someone to the doctor because I made them eat hot sauce is the title. Oh, okay. Okay, so I know that sounds bad, but hear me out. I work in an office and I have a bottle of tomato sauce on my desk. For the last couple of weeks, someone has clearly been stealing it

on the regular and I was fed up with it, but I didn't know what to do. So I bought a few bottles of Mad Dog 357 hot sauce and put it in the tomato sauce bottle. A couple of days later, there was a note on the sauce saying, you're an idiot. I had to go to the doctor because I touched my eyes after eating this. Not funny. It then went on to say, you can now pay the $63 gap from the doctors too.

If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have had to pay. Right. Who's in the wrong? The person who stole the tomato sauce. Absolutely. Deal with it. I don't care if you got gastro from it. You shouldn't be stealing other people's food.

Well, I mean, karma is a beer. I think there's probably grounds for a bit of grievance if the tomato sauce was kept in a communal area. Like if you bought a tomato sauce and you kept it in the work fridge or the work pantry, then it's like, oh, it was a mistake. Then, oh, it's here, I'll just help myself. But if you're going to someone else's desk and taking it,

then it's your fault. Also, you don't know what's in that. What if they like to mix... Bourbon. Yeah, or a drop of human blood in with their tomato sauce. Yeah, and that's up to them. That's their prerogative. And if they want to keep that on their desk, yeah, that's, yeah.

Can you imagine? I just picture the audacity of the person who's been stealing the sauce to be like, I'm going to write them a note. But they identify themselves in the notes. I don't know. Because you've got to, to get your bill paid, you've got to admit guilt. And this, they're like, you need to leave $60 in an unmarked envelope

at the corner of 5th and Cashel Street at 5pm on Tuesday the 4th of November. And I'll pick it up. And I'll pick it up. I don't know. Do you reckon there's anyone that's on the tomato sauce stealer's side? Is there an argument for them? Yeah, is there? I mean, I can't see one.

But we might have some lawyers listening to us who can argue any point, you know? Some people get paid for this. Yeah. What do the producers think? Who's in the wrong in the tomato sauce? Is it the tomato sauce thief or is it the person who switched out the tomato sauce for hot sauce without telling them?

I would say the person that switched it out. They're in the wrong. What? You see? He thinks different. They've done it on purpose. Yeah, they have done it on purpose. Do you help yourself to other people's condiments in the work fridge?

No, I don't. No. No? Are you sure? Are you sure? Yeah, 100% sure. Okay. What about you, Anastasia?

Who's in the wrong? Definitely the person who stole the sauce. Yeah, well, I think it's them. Three to one. It's worth asking the question then. Oh, 800 dials at M. In this situation, who's in the wrong? And maybe you're coming from a position of experience.

Maybe you've had your food stolen. Or maybe you're a food stealer. And you've been, yeah, something's been switched out. There is an argument for it's just a bottle of sauce, bro. Chill out. I mean, yeah, that's true. Like if someone was stealing your money, that's different. Very different.

Oh, $800 at M. Who's in the wrong in this situation? We'll conduct a public poll. You can also text us on 9696. Bree and Clint. It's a snap poll, folks. Bree and Clint's snap poll. Here's the gist.

There's someone that has a bottle of tomato sauce on their desk. They like to keep it on their desk to use it for their lunch. It's their own tomato sauce. It's their own tomato sauce. Someone's been taking it, stealing it, using it, so they thought, right, I can put a stop to this. So they bought some Mad Dog 357 hot sauce and they put the hot sauce right into the tomato sauce.

Anyway, it's ended in an angry note from the person who has been using this sauce, saying, you're an idiot. I had to go to the doctor because I touched my eyes after eating this. Not funny. You can now pay my doctor's bill. A little bit funny. Pretty damn funny. We're asking you, whose side are you on?

Who's in the wrong in this situation? And this seems like it can't be real, but the first person to call up his name is Wattie for our sauce poll. Is that legit, Wattie? Wattie, is that your real name? Yeah, nickname. Yeah, my last name's Watt, so yeah. Yes, Wattie.

Okay, well, you are the authority on this. Who's in the wrong? Oh, definitely the thief. I mean, that's an ultimate sin, really, isn't it? You need broken fingers over that. Whoa. Yeah, you don't steal sauce. Everyone knows that.

Imagine getting a pie back to your desk. Especially if it's Wattie's. I mean, if it's Heinz or something, or, you know, Tam's, your sweetheirs, but if it's Wattie's, yeah. All right. Thank you, Wattie. Appreciate that, Wattie. Appreciate that.

The thief is in the wrong. Brittany. Hi, Brittany. Hi, Brittany. Hiya. What do you think, mate? Oh, the sauce thief is definitely in the wrong. Got what he deserves?

Yep. You can't be messing with other people's food. Got what he deserves? Ha-ha. Okay, two votes. Did you hear that pity laugh from Brittany? Not only did I hear it, Brittany, I appreciated it. You felt it.

Well, I actually have a similar story. Do you? Oh, what did you do, Brittany? Well, no, it wasn't me. It was my mum. I'm dobbing her in. My youngest brother used to always get his lunch stolen all the time when he was a kid. He was a bit of a skinny kid.

So my mum thought it would be a good idea to put laxatives in his sandwich. Whoa! So that they could catch out who the little kid was who was stealing my brother's lunch. Yeah. We got all the way to the pharmacy to pick up these laxatives, and then my mum backed out because the pharmacist was asking too many questions. Yeah, right. She backed out, didn't she? Yeah.

She got the shits. Oh, that could have ended really bad. Yeah. Well, you know, it's the thought that counts. Chris, who's in the wrong? The source owner or

the source thief? Oh, the thief, definitely. You don't touch what's not yours. Yeah. That's general rule of thumb, really.

What about how the person ended up at the doctor's? Does that matter? I think it matters. It's just unfortunate if you weren't doing the wrong thing, then that wouldn't have happened.

Right. Chris sounds like a mafia boss. He's like, all of this could have been avoided if you didn't stick your sticky fingers in someone else's sauce. I'm glad you finished that sentence. Thank you, Chris. Heather, who's in the wrong? The thief, for sure.

A hundred percent. Would you have done the same thing, Heather? Would you have blasted the tomato sauce with hot sauce? Yeah, and I would have probably mixed it 50-50 as well because if you're going to do it up really well. Do it up really well. Heather, you're evil. Nah, Heather's ruthless.

I am evil. You're right. It's the best way to be. You know, and I can make the whole world blown and then we can all shuffle around together. Whoa, okay. You're right. It's the best way to be. You know, and I can make the whole world blown and then we can all shuffle around together. Whoa, okay. You're hilarious. Thank you, Heather.

We don't really need this, but let's take the last vote. Sarah's here. Hi, Sarah. Hi, Sarah. Hey, I've got a similar story where my grandmother was in a rest time and her chocolate kept getting stolen. So she switched it up for laxative chocolate and really annoyed the bloke down the hall

who's had obviously stolen it. Whoa, your Nana is awesome. What a gangster. Did she get in trouble with the rest home or did they never find out? She got in huge trouble and he didn't, which is really unfair. He was already in enough trouble.

Yeah, right. Yeah. I bet. Oh, your Nana, what a good lady. Only one person supporting the source thief. And that's producer Ben. And that's producer Ben. So we know if anything goes missing around here at ZM,

it's probably old sympathetic Ben over there. Wait a minute. Was this story, was this inbox actually about producer Ben? Kia ora, this is Toby Manhai. I'm the host of Gone By Lunchtime, a podcast for the spin-off podcast network all about politics and politicians, with me, Annabel Leigh-Mather, and Ben Thomas,

careering wildly from the very serious to the very ridiculous. It's not for everyone. I don't think it would be Ellen's cup of tea, but you, I reckon, will love it. Gone By lunchtime. Grab one now wherever you get your podcasts. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As it heralds new podcasts,

the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers, going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz

slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Bree and Clint. Bree, do you take a multivitamin? Ah, no. No, me neither. I don't. I have. I've taken a men's multi before.

And I've always gone, yeah, I've got to have the men's one because I'm a man. The one you put in the fridge? Nah. No? There's a probiotic, eh? Oh, must be. Is there a probiotic? I don't know.

Not those ones. I'm talking about your regular supermarket. Just your regular, every day. So you don't take one? No. Have you taken one? I definitely have taken ones in the past, yep. When you've taken them before, do you think take one? No Have you taken one? I definitely have taken ones in the past When you've taken them before

Do you think they work? No Whenever I've taken one It's always like when you've been Particularly unhealthy You're like oh I better get on the multivitamins But the idea is you take it every day right I've never taken a multivitamin and gone

Man I feel good And yeah I never take it and go Whoa I've got taken a multivitamin and gone man I feel good and yeah I never take it and go whoa I've got loads of energy there's been a study done by Harvard University so you know it's a big deal study into whether multivitamins actually work oh this is good

now brace yourself because you may have just shelled out a lot of money on this month's multivitamins you may be this month's multivitamins. You may be taking those fancy multivitamins at the moment that come in the individual packets. Oh, yes. With your name written on the packet. So you remember.

It's like a young version of a pill packet. 100%. They've made pill planning trendy. Just strap in because these results... Are pretty full on. Might be hard to swallow Oh no The health benefits This is according to Harvard University

So don't come for me Okay The health benefits of taking multivitamins Have more to do with positive thinking Than any physiological effects Shut up That says that. Yeah.

It says that. Yeah. It's not all... I called it. I told my mum years ago, stop trying to make me take all this stuff. Regular uses of multivitamins or mineral supplements

reported a 30% better overall health feeling than non-vitamin takers. What does that even mean? But when the research looked at the health outcomes, there was absolutely no difference between the two groups. None whatsoever. But if you feel like you're doing something good...

Oh, don't try and wrap this turd in Christmas paper. If you feel like you're doing something good for yourself. Stop wrapping the turd in Christmas paper and putting a ribbon on it. But you know, Anastasia had a really good way of phrasing this earlier. What did you say it was like? If you think it, you are it or something like that. Oh, believe it to receive it. Believe it to receive it.

Oh, says the dummy. That is some happy clappy bullshit if ever I've heard it. But I like it. I do like it. I like it a lot. I don't agree with the meaning. All right, Oprah. Some happy, clappy bullshit if ever I've heard it. But I like it. I do like it. I like it a lot. I don't agree with the meaning. All right, Oprah.

Anyway, Harvard University says that your fancy multivitamin is doing jackal. But if it makes you feel good, even if it's only pretend, maybe there is benefit in taking it. The one I used to take turned my pee fluorescent yellow. Oh, that one. I've had those before too. And I'm like, man, this has got to be doing something because look at my pee. It's bright yellow.

It's literally radioactive. But that collagen powder stuff, that works, right? Oh, 100%, babes. Okay, cool. How do you think I grew all my hair back after my baby? Totally. Bree and Clint. I wanted to talk about Because Christmas is slowly approaching

And we all know That if you're looking at getting one of these Particular things for Christmas You've got about two weeks Or so What would that be? You've got two weeks to organise it Christmas ham

Are you keeping the ham in the fridge for a month? You do don't you You just keep a wet tea towel on it? I don't know. Two weeks. Real Christmas tree? No. I'll give you one more guess.

You've got two weeks left, which would take us to the end of November. Letter to Santa. Oh, that's a good one, but no. Okay, what is it? An advent calendar. Oh, right to centre. Oh, that's a good one, but no. Okay, what is it? An advent calendar. Oh, right, okay. Because you need to organise that because you started on, what, December the 1st? Yeah, you do, yeah.

Of course. But, I mean, if you get it late, you can always do some catch-up days. I know. Which is always good, actually. Catch-up days are good. I thought we could talk about some of the more unusual, because, I mean, we all know the chocolate advent calendars, don't we? Yeah.

What would you say? Hot take. Yeah. Advent calendar chocolate sucks. No, that's not a hot take. It's true, eh? I think people agree with you, yeah. Where's a Whittaker's advent calendar?

I'm pretty sure they exist. Do they? I'm keen for one of those. Yeah. Is there any, like, advent calendars you've seen where you've thought, oh, that's a good idea? You know who used to do a good advent calendar? Yeah.

The Body Shop. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. See, I like that. But at the same time, how much sheer body butter does one person need? Yeah. It's a lot in one month, isn't it? How many travel shampoos can one person own?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, okay. At the moment, how many travel shampoos can one person own? Yeah, okay At the moment, how many travel shampoos can one person own? Yeah, true I think we've got enough Have you ever heard of There's an advent calendar From the snaffling pig co

Where you get a lager And a packet of pork crackling I think you're going to say a packet of cigarettes No Yeah, an advent beer calendar you get a lager and a packet of pork crackling. I thought you were going to say a packet of cigarettes. No. Yeah, an advent beer calendar. Yeah. Keen for that, yeah.

It's brilliant. It's a great idea. There's someone else that's doing 12 days of Chris, they're calling it Chris Masks advent calendar. Are they face masks? Yeah, so all different types of masks and rejuvenation products. Oh, I thought you meant like COVID masks. No. Oh, right.

No, like. I was like, can we just, can we not fold COVID into one thing? Can we move on from that? Yeah. Which I don't, I think that's not a bad idea. There's also a lot of different like cheese ones. Cheese Advent calendar. I'm keen for that. I think New like cheese ones. Cheese advent calendar. I'm keen for that.

I think New World has got a cheese advent calendar. Yeah, give me that. And you put it in the door of your fridge. Oh, yeah. Don't put it under the tree. No, don't put it under the tree. Yeah. That's not a good idea.

There's a place that also does different scented candles every day. Oh, God. Same as Shea Body Butter. How many scented candles do you need?, God. Same as sheer body butter. How many scented candles do you need? Because I'll tell you something, we've got 25 and it's too many. I need more. You need more? Yeah, I need more.

Well, I can give you 24. Okay, sweet. There's a Pringles advent calendar. Good. There's also a butter advent calendar. I mean, how many different types of butter you could have. But I thought I'd throw a few of my ideas that they don't exist yet. Okay, you come up with some.

I think they should have, and this one's for the ladies, the contraceptive pill advent calendar. So you remember to take it? Yeah. Yeah, right. What about a condoms advent calendar? Make December a really fun month. Okay, let me tell you, if you give your partner a condom's advent calendar? Make December a really fun month. Okay, let me tell you,

if you give your partner a condom advent calendar, he's going to want to use that advent calendar every night. Just so you know. Just be prepared for what you're signing yourself up for. Well, maybe it's every, like, I don't know, two weeks there's one. 50% of girls around the country say, no, thank you. And probably my favourite, the year that we've had, let's make an anti-anxiety

medication advent calendar. Yeah, right. Give me 12 of them. I'll have them all year round. 12 calendars? Yeah. Oh, right. I thought you meant for one month.

I was like, how freaking anxious are you? Bree and Clint. Oh my God. I heard she bought all her followers. She would. She's such a bitch. It's time for Brie and Clint's Insta-fame game.

The game where we guess how many followers famous people have got on Instagram. And if you can guess the winner of this game, you get free mobile fuel. Hi, Grace. G'day, Grace. Hi, guys. Who are you betting on today, Brie or me? I'm going to bet on Brie. mobile fuel. Hi, Grace. G'day, Grace. Hi, guys. Who are you betting on today, Bree or me? I'm going to bet on Bree. Let's do it, Grace.

Got your back. Caitlin. Hi, Caitlin. G'day, Caitlin. Hi. Hi. I got you, okay? Oh, thank you.

Caitlin. That's right. That's what it is. No, hey, hey. This is like a 50-50 game. Producer Ben. We can go any way. We need some paper. Oh, yeah, true. An is like a 50-50 game. Producer Ben. We can go any way. We need some paper.

Oh, yeah, true. Anastasia, can we get two pieces of paper? Please. Sitting at the bottom of the birthday banger pad. What's our theme today, Ben? Today's theme is off the back of a chat that Bree brought to the show yesterday around how two famous celebrities were engaged for seven whole years. There was Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis.

That's right. They were engaged. I'm not sure. Did they splitudeikis. That's right. They were engaged. I'm not sure. Did they split? They did. Yeah, right. After seven years engaged, they split, right? Yeah, they've had a couple of kids, but unfortunately, yeah, they've announced that they will be

splitting. Yeah, nice. So I just went out and found a bunch of celebrities that have been engaged for ages. I thought you were going to say, I found a bunch of celebrities who have got divorced. No, no. It's horrible. Okay, who's first up? Your first one is Oprah Winfrey. Has she? Oh, No, no. It's horrible. Okay, who's the first one? Your first one is Oprah Winfrey.

Has she? Oh, yeah, of course. 25 years she's been engaged with... Gayle. No, that's not a funny joke. Stedman Graham. Stedman. Dr. Phil.

No. How many Instagram followers for Oprah? Clint, you've got 40 million. Brie, you've got 40 million. Bree, you've got 32 million. She has 19.2 million. That's a.2, Bree. Get in. Stidbomb.

Okay. Your next person is Miley Cyrus. Miley Cyrus. She's not engaged anymore, is she? No, not anymore. But she was engaged with Liam for six and a half years. Really? On and off, yeah.

Did they get married? I don't have those facts here. So that's hard. Anastasia will know. Yeah, she will know. She's the biggest Miley Cyrus fan of all time. We're looking for Miley. How many Instagram followers for Miley?

Clint, you put 70 million. Brie, you put 98 million. She has 116 million. I thought she was around the hundred. Yeah. Well done. You're nice, mate. Your third celebrity is Sasha Baron-Conan.

Conan? We knew what he meant. Conan. How many Instagram followers for him? Nah, he's been with Isla Fisher for six and a bit years. Well, they've been engaged for that long. Are they?

Wow. He's busy making Borat sequels. Yeah, he's busy. 3.8, mine says. 3.8. And is that 7.7? Yeah. For Brie.

He has 1.1. Oh. 0.2 Clint. Thank you. No, that's actually a 1.1. Oh, is it? You just want to

change it all up? No, that's... You can see that, can't you? Yeah. It looks that's actually a 1.1. Oh, is it? You just want to change it all up? No, you can see that, can't you? It looks like... Your next celebrity is Kirsten Bell. I love her. Yeah, her and Dex Shepard were engaged for a whole four and a half years. Wait, which one's she? They're still together.

No, no, no, no help. No. Which one's Kristen Wiig? Oh. Okay. And which one's the Wiig? Oh, okay. And which one's the one from Twilight? Kirsten Bell. Have you seen the... And who's Keira Knightley?

Oh, my goodness. I'm not helping you. How many Instagram followers for Kirsten Bell? Clint, you put 9 million. Bree, you put 13 million. And it's 14.7. That's a game to Bree. She's done it, everybody.

She's done it. Grace, you're going home with the fuel, mate. Woo, thank you. No worries. You're welcome. Kristen Stewart is the one. Kristen Stewart, right. She's from Twilight.

And which one's Kristen Wig? Kristen Wig is the one from Bridesmaids. Yeah. And which one's And Kirsten Bell is the one from The Good Place and also Forgetting Sarah Marshall and a bunch of other stuff she's done.

And which one's Keira Knightley? Keira Knightley's the one from Bandit Light. Paraband. Yeah, and Bandit Light Beckham. Right, okay. And now you cross it. And which is the one

that was in Bring It On? That's Keira Knightley! That's Keira, that's Knightley. Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, okay. And now you cross it. And which is the one that was in Bring It On? That's Keira Knightley. That's Keira Knightley. Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. What's her name? Kirsten Dunst. Kirsten Dunst.

Yeah, right there. How are you telling me now? Bree and Clint. All right, are you ready? Yeah. I've talked this story up a bit. We have a group on Facebook. It's called the Bree and Clint Podcast

Family. And anyone can join. You're welcome to come join and we all just, you know, shoot the S and talk about, you know, whatever. Life. Anyway, I put a thing in there this morning because I was having a bit of problems. I was like, it's finally happened. Ten years

into my radio career and I've run out of things to talk about. Anyway, a lady by the name of Jenny, she commented on the post and she said, oh, you should talk about when, you know, karma has had people's backs. Right. You know, when has karma struck? Because I've got a great story and I was like, all right, Jenny,

let's see what story. Show us what you got, Jenny. Yeah, show us what you got. This is what she wrote. Are you ready? Yeah. She goes, one of my favourite stories of mine of all time is when I ended up drinking quite a lot of drinks

and I caught the bus home. Whilst on the bus, I felt very sick. So I took all of my stuff out of my handbag, purse, phone, et cetera, everything, and I shoved it into my pockets. Right. I then proceeded. No. No, no, no.

I then proceeded to throw up into my handbag when I got off the bus. Oh, no. She goes, I threw up in my handbag. When I got off the bus, someone ended up stealing my handbag. When I got off the bus, someone ended up stealing my handbag. Oh, that is... That is one of the best karma

stories I have heard. Can you imagine the person who stole the handbag and they're all happy with themselves and they go to open it up? It's a bag of drunken vomit. It's a bag of sick. Wow. What a great result.

It's like the universe was telling you to put your stuff in your pockets. Yeah. Put your stuff in your pockets. Or it was the Prosecco that you drank. Yeah, that too, actually. That's instant karma. That is instant. Yeah. It makes me so happy.

I don't know why, but that just makes me so happy. Thank you Jenny for your story. What a belter. Do you think there are any more instant cases of karma than that? Absolutely. Karma strikes all the time. Yeah. And I think people love to tell

a good karma story Someone who Who toots at you In traffic And then as soon as You get out of that way Pulled up by the cops They get pulled up

By the cops Or they crash into the car Directly in front of them Those are good Yeah someone who Speeds past you And then you see them Getting pulled up

By the cops I love when the cops Pull them over It's so good. 0800 dial ZM this afternoon. Have you got a story of instant karma for us? Yeah, has this happened to you or maybe someone you know? Or maybe you were the one that got the karma.

Yeah, maybe karma dealt you some instant feedback. Exactly. 0800 dial ZM with your karma stories or you can text us on 9696. These karma stories are so funny. Yeah. Like I don't know why it's so funny but it really is. We're talking about karma stories this afternoon because a lady by the name of Jenny in our podcast family had one of the best karma stories I think I've ever heard.

When she wrote in and she said she had a few drinks at an event and she caught the bus home and she was feeling a bit sick on the bus. So she's taken everything out of her bag. She's put it all into her pockets and she was sick in her bag. Good foresight. Not ideal. Not ideal. Sick in her bag.

It wasn't a deadly police. But you know, she saved the bus. Saved the mess. Anyway, gets off the bus and then lo and behold, someone steals her bag. The best part about it is all of her valuable stuff was in her pocket. And she probably didn't want that handbag anymore either. No. They've done her a favour.

She's like, oh, thank you. I was going to throw that out. Oh, it's brilliant. Anyway, so we're asking you this afternoon on 0800DIALS at M, what's your karma story? When did karma have your back, Donna? Hi. Hi, Donna.

Oh, hi. Well, my daughter got diarrhoea at church and it was everywhere. So I put her in the car, took her home and, yeah, it was pretty gross. And I just put her in the shower, dealt with her and thought, I can't place the car seat. I'll deal with it tomorrow. So I went out in the morning to get in my car, and my car was stolen.

And I was so scared. Come on, come on, come on, come on, comedian. Can you imagine, Donna? The thieves, they get into this car, they're like, oh, we got away with it. What is that smell? It was really embarrassing. I was like, they will think I'm the filthiest lady ever.

You were embarrassed. They stole your car. You don't owe them anything, Donna. They stole it from outside my house. Every time they drive past my house, you're like, there's that gross lady. Can you imagine Donna if thieves came into her house and Donna's like, I'm so sorry, I'll tidy up a bit before you have a look around. I'm imagining the thieves returning the car going,

I'm sorry, we don't actually want this. Yeah, this one's soiled. And Donna's like, I'm so sorry about that. That's brilliant, Donna, love it. Rachel, hi. Hi, Rachel. Hey, how's it going? Good, thanks.

What's your karma story, Rach? So in Christchurch on Saturday we had a long weekend, public holiday, going? Good, thanks. What's your karma story, Rach? So in Christchurch on Saturday, we had a long weekend, public holiday, which was great. Awesome. And I had a garden shed delivered by a company from Main Freight in a big Class 5 truck. Yeah. And a car came down the road and he didn't slow down

and he was yelling abuse at me and my partner, saying they were taking up the whole road. While he was doing that, he pulled the steering wheel, and he crashed his Chrysler into the main freight truck. Was it a nice car, right? It was a really nice car. Was it one of those 300C things? Yeah, it was pretty big.

All you do at that stage is you just stand back and you just clap and you go. Yeah, we put the kids inside pretty quickly. Yeah, well done. Right, okay. That's very good as well. Let's go to Leah. Hi, Leah. Hi, Leah.

Hi. Instant karma. Yeah, what story have you got? So a while ago, my ex texted me that he'd had a trucking accident, which we found out later that was completely false. And he'd made it up to reduce contact and stop seeing his kids. Okay. And 18 months later, he had a trucking accident.

Oh, whoa. Whoa. accident. Oh, whoa. Whoa. Whoa, shit. Listen to Leah. It's fine, guys. He didn't die. He didn't die. He just broke both of his legs.

Is everyone okay, Leah? I'm, oh, well, yeah. Right, okay, enough said. Leah. We asked for instant karma. I mean, that is karma if ever did I hear it. I'll never get over the diarrhoea story. Ever.

Never forget. My kid had diarrhoea at church. Bree and Clint. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Bree and Clint's birthday banger. Just before we were talking about stories of instant karma, I'm so sorry that we couldn't get through. There's so many great ones on the text machine.

We might do a re-valuate tomorrow or something. We might have to revisit it, yeah. I just wanted to read out this one because it's so good. It says, We were having a couple of drinks on a Sunday afternoon and there was a guy sitting next to us that had a slight lisp because he had no front teeth. My friend started to make

fun of the way that he spoke. Ten minutes later, we all went to get a few things from the supermarket and my friend bit into a lolly and broke his front tooth. Whoa. That makes me so happy. That's the sort of story that makes you believe in a higher power.

Oh, mate. That's a good one, isn't it? All right. Okay, let's do a birthday bang. Melissa's here. Hey, Melissa. G'day, Mel. Hi.

How are you guys? Good, thanks, Melissa. I'm so sorry. I was laughing. I was making... No, that was funny. I was making producer Anastasia laugh because we're all sitting out there

and producer Anastasia's taking the phone calls and then she's trying to get people's names and all I heard was this. So, Melissa, this is what I heard. Sorry, can you... Wait, what's your name? Okay, can you spell that name for me? Okay, so it's M...

Oh, it's Melissa. Didn't think it was that weird a name. No. Okay, what's your birthday? Is it Melissa? Yes, it is. Yep. Perfect. The 9th of June, 1991. Alright, Melissa, you were 16 in 2007 on the 9th of June and here's your birthday bag. Ew. Ew. Nice.

Rihanna, Umbrella. When's her new album coming out? Never, I think. At this stage. I hope it's soon. Yeah, keep me on some tender hooks. That's a good one, Mel. You like it?

I love it. Good, okay. Wait there. Regan's here. Hi, Regan. Hi, Regan. Hey, how's it going? Good, mate. How are you? one, Mel. Do you like it? I love it. Good. Okay, wait there. Regan's here. Hi, Regan. Hi, Regan. Hey, how's it going? Good, mate.

How are you? Good, thanks. That's good. What's your birthday? The 3rd of November, 1989. Well, happy birthday for the other day, a couple of weeks ago. Oh, thank you. You're welcome.

You were 16 in 2005. And Regan, here's your birthday back. Metafix. I love this song. My ex-girlfriend got her bra signed by Matterfix at one of the New Zealand shows. And it was her prized possession. Totally.

Have you done that too, Rika? Yeah, that sounds like something I'd do. One of the first times I stayed at her parents' house, I was like, what's this? She goes, oh, that's my signed Metafix bra. Yeah, don't touch it. Don't touch it. I'm going to put it in a case.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to keep that stuff. I'm not going to not get Metafix's signature. The only thing I had was my bra. Hi, Grace. Hi, Grace. Hi. How are you?

I'm good, thanks. How are you? Not too bad, thanks, Grace. Let's do your birthday bang. What's your birthday? 31st August 2000. Right, you were 16 in the year 2016 on the 31st of August. And not that long ago, in 2016, this had a number one hit.

Mia Jaleza and Justin Bieber Cold Water that was a great song Grace such a good song such a good song bang such a good time for music too 2016 it was wasn't it

heaps of good stuff around before TikTok yeah right back when songs were three minutes and not and not a minute thirty five not fifteen seconds

Umbrella Matterfix Cold Water Matterfix for me yeahlla, Matterfix, Coldwater. Matterfix for me. Yeah, it's Matterfix. It's different. Makes it the life. It's unique.

It's interesting. I like it. Regan! Woohoo! You've done it. No worries. That's so cool. Thank you.

Have a good day, mate. Get your bras out, everybody. It's Matterfix on ZM. Big city life. Me try forget my. Press your knees up. No matter what me try. Big city life. R's out, everybody. It's Metafix on ZM. life. My heart's up in a base and right now Babylon upon my case. People in a show all lined in a row. We just push

on by. It's funny how hard we try. Take a moment to relax before you do anything rash. Don't you want to know me? Be a friend of mine. I'll share some wisdom with you Don't you ever get lonely

From time to time Don't let the system get you down Big city life, me try to get by Pressure now ease up, no matter how hard me try Big city life, hear my heart have no base And right now Babylon up no matter what me try Big city life in my heart have no base And right now Babylon deep on me case Big city life, try forget my pressure now ease up no matter what me try Big city life, my heart have no base

And right now Babylon deep on me case Soon our work is done All of us one by one Still we live our lives As if all this stuff survives Don't you wanna know me? Be a friend of mine A friend of mine

I'll share some wisdom with you Don't you ever get lonely From time to time Don't let the system get you down The linguist across the seas and the oceans A permanent itinerant is what I've chosen I find myself in a big city prison Arisen from the vision of mankind

Designed to keep me discreetly, neatly in the corner You find me with the flora and the fauna and the hardship Back of yard is where my heart is Still I find it hard to depart this big city life Big city life, me try forget my Pressure now ease up, no matter how hard me try Big city life, in my heart have no base And right now Babylon, they upon me case

Big city life, try forget my Pressure now ease up, no matter how hard me try Big city life, my heart have no base And right now Babylon, they upon me case Big city life, my heart's have no base And right now Babylon, they're on my case Big sister life, my time to get by Pressure now, ease up, no matter what, me try Big sister life, yeah, my heart's have no base And right now Babylon, they're on my case Big sister life, try to get by Pressure now, ease up, no matter what, me try Big sister life, my heart's have no base And right now Babylon, they're on my case I love that song.

I don't know why, but I really... It is a great song. Yeah, it doesn't age for me. Oh, my God. Here we go. Text machine. Fun facts coming through on the text machine. Yeah.

The siblings of one of the Matterfix singers is Mabel with the song Don't Call Me Up. Do you remember that song? Have a look. Yeah, Mabel, Don't Call Me Up. It was quite a pretty big song. Don't. Sorry, bear with me.

I'm having a moment. Call me. You could have just typed in Mabel. I've got Don't Call Me Baby by Madison Avenue. No, Don't Call Me Up. Don't Call Me Up by Madison. By Mabel. Oh, Mabel. Yeah, okay, I've got it, yeah.

Don't call me up, I'm going out tonight Feeling good now you're out of my life You know this song. Yeah, I do that song, yeah. Oh, is that it? Is that all we got? Is that the tiny bit there? Okay. Don't call me up, I'm going out tonight Feeling good now you're out of my life God, talented family. Right? Also, a family of one who wonders

Hey come on What? When was that song? What's your other favourite Mabel song? I'm sure she's got some others Madison Avenue Yeah this is the other one This is a good song too. I don't belong to you. It's time you knew I'm not your baby.

I belong to me, so don't call me baby. Bree and Clint. Guys, I've got some breaking OnlyFans news. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Hang on. The Love Island music? Oh, yeah.

Wait, is it for Love Island or for... Oh, it's both. All right, hang on. Yes, very good. Ex-Love Island UK star. Seamless. Megan Barton Hanson has spoken out about her experience of using OnlyFans and how much money she's made. I'm so fascinated by this.

I think there's so much stuff in the news about how much money people are making. We heard that story about someone we know. Yes. You and I know someone that apparently is 30 grand in a month. Apparently. It's all apparently. That all apparently from the horse's

mouth though no no but we heard that this person that we both also wasn't a horse it was a person that's just the same yeah we don't know a horse that's on only fan 30 grand wow how'd you do it can you show me this love island person yeah i, I can. You'll recognise her. She was quite- Was it a recent season of Love Island? Yes, it wasn't too long ago. And yeah, so that's her there. Right. And anyway- To be honest, they all start to look the same after a bit.

She's talked about, yeah, how much she's loving being on OnlyFans. She's been able to buy her dream home. She's been able to buy full brand new furniture to go in that home. She claims that she's earning up to $1.6 million a month.

Excuse me? A month. A month. A month. There's no hate on this show and there's no shade for anybody making a living doing whatever you feel passionate about. But that is an incredible amount of money to be making on an app.

It's insane. And I always go with this too, because you've got to go young people, impressionable. You could influence a career decision with this. Do we believe it? Do we believe that she's making that much money on OnlyFans? I don't see why she would lie about it. Right.

And, I mean, she has bought quite a massive, beautiful home. She's saying, yeah, that it's the best thing that she's ever done. Have you ever thought about if all these people are making that much money on OnlyFans, how much money the people who started OnlyFans are making? Oh, it'd be ridiculous. Because if they're taking 10% of everything just for running the app, genius. It'd be crazy.

We were talking about this before and producer Ben goes, you know, it's not all just rude stuff on OnlyFans. There's cooking shows on there. We're like, first of all, how do you know? Topless cooking shows. And then second of all, yeah, theoretically you can do that kind of stuff. Yeah, how does he know? That's a great question.

How does he know? No one is though, right? No one's doing non-rude stuff. Megan from Love Island who's spoken out about it, she says that she does strip shows. Yeah, right. Yeah. Good for her.

Yeah. One point how much? $1.6 million a month. I'll do strip shows. I don't know if you make the same kind of money. $1.6 million a month. I'll do strip shows. I don't know if you make the same kind of money. For $1.6 million, I'll do full nude. I don't know if you'd make the same kind of money. For $1.6 million, I'll start an OnlyFans

where I do the helicopter every day at 3pm. I feel like you'd have to pay people. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not how it works. You would lose money if that's what you put on there. No, no, no. I'm saying, no. That's not how it works. You would lose money if that's what you put on there. No, no, no. I'm saying I get paid $1.6 million. No, I'm saying you would have to pay people to come and watch.

Hey, everybody. Welcome to my three o'clock broadcast. Three o'clock? That means we would be here and you would be on the radio. Do you honestly think I'd be doing this if I could make $1.6 million a month on OnlyFans? Do you think I would be doing anything if I could make $1.6 million? Yeah, you'd be on OnlyFans. True. Oh, at $100,000, are you on OnlyFans? Do you think I would be doing anything if I could make $1.6 million? Yeah, you'd be on OnlyFans. True. Oh800Diles.m

Are you on OnlyFans? Yeah. And how much money are you making? We can keep you anonymous. There's no judgement here on the Brain Clinch. We don't have to keep you anonymous. We can plug your OnlyFans. If you want. If you want. If you want to. Yeah, we'd love to hear from you. Is this legit? Are you making good money? So long as you're doing something safe

and legal, we don't care how you're making your money. On OnlyFans, yeah. On OnlyFans, yeah. 0800 dial ZM. Or you can text us on 9696. You can remain anonymous if you'd like. Or you can plug your OnlyFans. Call us now.

Are you using it and making a mozza? Bree and Clint. Ex-Love Island UK star Megan Hansen has come out and said she's making an absolute killing on OnlyFans saying she earns up to $1.6 million a month. Wowee. She's bought a luxury mansion in London. She's filled it with furniture. She says, I'm killing it.

Yeah. Filled it with furniture and a ring light. And a ring light. Yeah, exactly. We're asking you this afternoon. We want to know more. Are you on this? Are you using it?

How much money are you making? Are you on OnlyFans? We only have one call. That's fine. Our caller wants to remain anonymous and they are male. Welcome to the show. Hello. Are you there, anonymous?

Hello. Hello. Hello. You're on OnlyFans? Yes. Yes, I am. How long Are you there, Anonymous? Hello. Hello. Hello. You're on OnlyFans. Yes. Yes, I am. How long have you been using it for? Just about over a year now.

Okay, amazing. So you'll have some good statistics. Do you mind telling us how much money can you earn? What are you doing? What's your stats look like? Tell us what you do first on OnlyFans. Oh, doing mostly kind of some I guess adult content per se.

Solo? Yeah, solo. Working on some jobs with some other people. But it's been pretty prosperous, about 4k a month so far. And this might

be stupid, but do you have to pay tax on that? Yes. 4K a month. What's the growth trajectory? Not to sound like your business manager here, but how much money do you think you'll be able to make? I thought I was going to say that's a bit personal to ask that question. But you know, how much

money do you hope to make on OnlyFans? Do you have friends who are making a lot more than you? Yeah, my friend kind of two years in now, he's at about $65,000 a month. Shut the front door. That's ridiculous. What's he doing that you're not doing? He's just got about a year head start. I'm trying to live in his shadow.

Maybe you could do some collabs with him. Yeah. Yeah, get that started, get some more fans. Maybe, yeah, do some posts on each other's friendly fans. Is four grand enough a month for you to keep you interested? Is it your full-time job? Yeah, it's kind of given me the opportunity to get my own apartment and live my life nice and easy and not really have to stress.

Are your followers fairly respectful? Like, do you feel like you've got a community there that you can trust on your OnlyFans account? Yeah, how many do you have followers on OnlyFans? We don't really know. Yeah, you kind of have subscribers. They follow you for like a month or they can pay for several months. My community is amazing. I get some toxic people that come through and my community kind of shuts them down. Weeds them out.

Oh, nice. Leave me alone, yeah. How much to follow you on OnlyFans? How much for a month? For me, it's just $5.99. And how often do you upload? Daily, almost every, I guess, every other day. That's a pretty good deal.

$5.99 for a month. Is it live? You can go live. I don't, but... You can. You can, yeah. Very interesting. Fascinating.

And one more question from me. Do you film this stuff from home? Like, is your home your workplace? Or the park? Both. Both? Yeah, sometimes, you know,

it's a, I guess a bedroom shot or sometimes it's a field. Something cheeky, yeah. Okay. So interesting. Thank you for that.

We appreciate it. Yeah, thanks for calling through. Do you want to plug your OnlyFans? We'll keep it a little bit private. No worries at all. Okay, that's fascinating. That is a your OnlyFans? We'll keep it a little bit private. No worries at all. Okay, that's fascinating.

That is a male OnlyFans user who's currently making $4,000 a month doing adult stuff on the app. Free and Clint. Okay, I said it before, and I wasn't lying when I said the Pope has had a bit of a shocker. Look, everybody has bad days on the job. The Pope's having one of those. He spilled the wine. Yeah, on the keyboard. Yeah, he spilt the wine. No, not on the keyboard.

On the organ. Oh, yeah. Oh, right. Oh. I was doing the workplace reference. Yeah, his workplace is a church. Good point. Good point.'ve got a red wine stain on the papal robes Very white, those things They bleach them No, the Pope has been caught liking an Instagram photo That belongs to 27-year-old Brazilian model Natalia Gariboto They're saying it's a thirst trap

The picture is 100% a thirst trap. Now, I'm not going to go into details about what's happening in the picture, but you could say the model is fully clothed, and you could also say the model is not wearing much at all, if you understand what I mean. In there, the PayPal Instagram account has just given it a sneaky double tap. And now the whole world knows what the Pope is scrolling. Come on, is it actually the Pope running his own account?

Well, I don't know. If it's not him, who is it? Yeah, well, whoever it is is going to be in mahoosive trouble. The Pope has 7.3 million Instagram followers. His handle is FrancisUS. I don't know why US, but that's his handle. And Natalia has 2.3 million Instagram followers. Whatever the reason was, it was picked up very quickly and

the Instagram model has described herself as blessed. Hashtag blessed. Do you think he slid into her DMs? Can you imagine? I would be so done. I'd literally delete all my social media

if I got a message from the Pope. I'd be like, I'd literally delete all my social media if I got a message from the Pope. I'd be like, I can't go any higher than this. Would it be bigger than when you got a DM from Channing Tatum? Yes, it's the Pope. Oh, I don't know where your politics are. Actually, I mean, Channing Tatum is kind

of like my... He has a religious experience. Yeah, kind of like my holy one. That was a a religious experience. Yeah, kind of like my holy one. Yeah. That was a pretty, yeah, religious experience. Thankfully, you don't have to decide, because I think after this, the Pope is taking a break from Instagram. Is he? Well, scrolling at least.

He may continue posting, but... Hey, he's probably got a shaky thumb. Probably wouldn't mean to, you know. Probably just came up with his Discover page. Yeah, I'm sure he looks at all, like, cooking vids and stuff. Yeah. Puppy stuff. Yeah. Anyway, watch out

in your DMs, everybody, because the Pope's out here, and he is blessing the people with a double tap. Or something. Amen. Amen. Deeding, spreeing, clint. The podcast with mobile smiles. Register, fill up. Redeem points for rewards. Easy. If you enjoyed Amen Amen