ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – November 27th 2018

Episode Date: November 27, 2018

Whats in your handbag?Cash Rash updateRoomate wantedBirthday Banger!Whats your xmas tradition?George EzraMumford or not Day 2Insta Fame gameNew xmas ornamentHipster sandwichWhip itSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Z-Dance! Let's go! Now let me see you dance! Z-Dance, Brie and Clint. Hello! That's Brie's big idea to open the show for the day. No, my big idea was to talk about coriander. Oh, you want to talk about coriander?

Yeah. Hi everybody, how you doing? Brie and Clint here. We're here to talk about coriander. I just read this thing on Facebook and it's a group that's got lots of people on it as to why they hate coriander. Okay. I've done some reading into this because I can't understand why people hate coriander so much.

I love it. Do you know it's a genetic thing? You either, from birth, you either like coriander or you don't. And those who don't like it, it tastes like soap to them. Yeah. So apparently it's in your genetic taste bud makeup. And those who don't like it, it tastes like soap to them. Yeah, so apparently it's in your genetic taste bud makeup. Yeah. I don't get it.

It's delicious. It's delicious. I can't help but like it. It's a fantastic garnish. I wouldn't make it an essential part of my dish, but it really is a great way to top off something with a great hit of freshness. Producer Ben.

Oh, I'm not too phased about it. I probably wouldn't know what it looks like if you put it in front of me. No, you wouldn't. We're asking the man who thought a capsicum was a cucumber. He's more of a barbecue sauce man than a coriander man. Producer Ellie, coriander, yes or no? Not a huge fan, but I don't hate it.

No, it doesn't taste horrible to you, right? No, no. That's weird then. But I don't love it. It's one or the other usually. Do you want to keep going with this or we're going to move on to other things? I think the text machine on 9696 is going to blow up. Okay, Coriander, yes or no?

Is that what you want? Coriander, are you a yes? Are you a no? And I want to know why. Fantastic. Let's get that rolling in. Also, stick around today because just after 5.30, we've got your chance to win more Mumford & Sons tickets

for their big Western Springs Stadium January next year. Also, I've got wind that we have the best George Ezra impersonator in the world on the show today. I mean, that's big for you to tease that because that's a mantle that you're going to have to give up if he's

better than this. Homegrown alligator, see you later. Gotta hit the road. Gotta hit the road. The sun changed the atmosphere. Yeah, let's play the whole thing. Architecture. I'm familiar. I could get used to this. I mean, she's a high bar, but someone will try and attempt to.

I said I was the best in Australasia. Yeah, right. I didn't say the world. We're going global today. Stick around. It's going to be a great show. I could take him down, I reckon. Bought to you by Coriander.

No, it's not really. It's bought to you by Mobile. Oh, the text machine's going off, mate. Brie and Clint, ZM. Brie and Clint on ZM. What were you looking for just then? Oh, no, no. I'm just getting the next song ready to play.

Okay, cool. Just checking. I'm a consummate professional, Brie. I'm always thinking of the next thing that we're doing. Always on the go. Yeah. Hey, I want to talk about, there was this article that was released about Kate Middleton and her handbag.

Oh, yeah? Have you ever noticed she actually doesn't carry a handbag? I can't say I've paid much attention to Kate Middleton's handbag etiquette, no. Well, I'm sure a lot of the ladies would, and she always carries around a little clutch. Oh, yeah? It's never a handbag, but I've always wondered. You like a little clutch, don't you?

I love a little clutch. In fact, I went with you to buy a new wallet the other day, and you opted for a travel wallet instead of a regular wallet, which I was like, that's an enormous wallet. And you go, no, no, doubles as a clutch. And I thought that is maximisation what you've done there. Well done. It's great.

They've released this thing about what's actually in her clutch. She's got four things. Williams balls. That's in a different bag. Right, okay. She carries around a compact mirror, apparently, for checking up on her makeup. I would have thought if you were the future Queen of England,

someone would carry a mirror for you. Apparently not. But I guess she doesn't want to take a service person to the toilet every time she goes. Yeah, well, she carries around her own. She also carries around a lip balm. Yeah. You know, like a chapstick.

Does it give a brand or anything? No, it doesn't give a brand. What's your default brand of lip balm? Just the standard lip balm. What's that? On a chapstick. Is the brand chapstick? I don't know. Yeah, chapstick.

Oh, I've got it in my pocket. Yeah. Chapstick. Oh, the brand chapstick. Yeah. Got you. Cool. And then she also carries around a sheet of blotting paper. Wait? What's a sheet of blotting paper? I don't know. Must be a fancy thing. I thought blotting paper was that stuff you used to have down on your desk

back when people wrote a lot and it was, is that not? Maybe. I think it's to blot her face it says. Oh it must be a tissue. And the final item. Yeah. Which I find this one really gross. Yeah. A handkerchief. Now what an English thing to keep in one's clutch. Who's still carrying around one of those? Also like I said if you are the future Queen of England, are you reusing your handkerchief? No. Or is this just, is it a single use and then because it's the It'd be like the undies. She would wear them once and throw

them out. Does she like the idea of wiping her royal nose on linen? Is that what it is? Maybe. Do you think she throws her undies out? Yeah, maybe. Justin Bieber does. Does he? Yeah. Yeah, but he wears white Calvin Kleins. And he had that brand deal with him and he said, yeah, he wears them once and chucks them out.

I was more thinking the skid marks and stuff, but yeah, that too. Right, yeah, that too. Okay, what we have here, because we've just talked about what's in Kate Middleton's handbag, I have your handbag. And can I say, it's not a clutch. It is one of the biggest bags I've ever seen.

This makes me real nervous. I want you to picture in your car right now a giant leather sack. Okay. Remember the Barney bag? Do you guys remember the Barney bag? This thing, when they got out that enormous bag and everything was inside it. All right, guys. Can we go through your bag now?

I'll just pull out some things. This is real personal, can I say. First thing to come out, we have a spare T-shirt. That T-shirt was to film a video that we haven't filmed yet. I'll just... No, it's clean. Cool. Okay, throw it on the ground.

That's good. Second item to come out. I'm not going to look in the bag as I pull things. Oh, no, that's dangerous. We have a CD. You've got LM5, the new Little Mix album, on CD. I'm a big Little Mix fan. Wow.

It was also free from work. Where are you going to play that? In my car. Oh, you're going to see. Okay, cool. Hairbrush, standard. What else is in there? Oh, a book.

Oh, I can't say what this is because this is for something secret we're doing later. Oh, yes. But there's a book and I'm going to go ahead and say you haven't read it. Okay, here we go. We have a small packet of edible zebra tarantula. Oh, no. I just did a Megan. Tarantula.

You've got a packet of tarantula to eat. That was for content. Oh, okay. Well, I've ruined that one. How did you get that through customs? Do we keep going? Oh, my God. I took that through customs.

I'll just do a couple more things. I mean, no, I did it. You brought tarantula into the country without direct... No, that's from New Zealand. I bought that at a... Pink umbrella, dongle, because you've got one of those fancy MacBooks that doesn't have USB.

God, I have so much... There is so much stuff here. Oh, and a book. Why I shouldn't call my son Clint. Is this a joke? Is this a joke? Is this a joke? Why do you have a book called Why I Shouldn't Call My Son Clint using the secret sounds of names as a predictor of personality?

What the hell is this? Was this a trap for me to find? No, I totally forgot that book was in there. Can I just say that we're going to stop, but I haven't even got through half of the stuff that's in this bag. That's incredible. Wow. I can't believe I forgot that book was in there.

That's offensive to me. I also can't believe I forgot that tarantula was in there. Do you want to ask about other handbags? Is that what you want to do? That was sweaty for that. It's okay. Don't worry about it. It's all right.

All right. Yeah, let's ask other people. 0800 dial ZM, what's in your handbag? Is that what you want to do? What's the weirdest thing you've got in your handbag right now? Can you beat an edible tarantula? In a book called Why I Shouldn't Name My Son Clint. Can I read that, by the way?

It's a bit late. No, I've highlighted a few bits in there that I'm going to give to your wife, Lucy. Let's see what we get. Brie and Clint. 0800 dial ZM. Brie and Clint on ZM. The four items that Kate Middleton has in her handbag has been released, and it's a compact mirror, a sheet of blotting paper, lip balm, and a handkerchief.

Sort of 100% sure what blotting paper is. We just went through my handbag. That was fun, wasn't it? Yeah, and we didn't even get that deep into it. I'm so glad. I know my wife, Lucy, sometimes changes handbag, so I think that's the time when what's inside gets refined. Do you ever empty that thing out? Never. Right. So it's more of a storage locker than a handbag. There's one handbag and So I think that's the time when what's inside gets refined. Do you ever empty that thing out?

Never. Right. So it's more of a storage locker than a handbag. There's one handbag and that's it. Someone's texted and said, I call my handbag Narnia because stuff goes in and it gets lost forever. I feel you on that. We want to know what's the weirdest thing.

What's the weirdest thing? I had an edible tarantula in my handbag. And an offensive book about me. So let's first of all go to Naomi. Kia ora. Hi, guys. Hello. What's the weirdest thing in your handbag, Naomi?

So I've actually got a tooth cap or a crown in my bag. Why? I used to work for a dental supply company and I did some training on how to create one And shaded it and put a funny blue smile on it So I've just only left it still in my bag And I've just never taken it out So it's not a piece of your own tooth

It's not a cap from your own tooth in there No, it's definitely never been in anyone else's mouth Because that's disgusting But yeah, it's brand spanking But I've just never taken it out That's pretty weird Imagine if you started dating someone and they were going through your handbag to find the keys and they pull out this tooth. Oh, you don't go into someone's handbag early in a relationship.

And then you just look at them and you're like, that's from my ex-boyfriend. Karen, what's the weird thing that's in your handbag? A handcuff. Oh, hey girl, welcome to the show. Hey girl. Good to talk to you. And you're a police officer, of course, right, Karen? No, no, it's just something that every single girl should really have in her handbag.

Right, okay. And why's that? It's perfectly fine to have them in there, unless you go to a work conference and forget that in there, and you go to let someone else get something out of your bag and they discover they're in there. Are they fluffy or are they a standard police issue handcuff? No, they're metal handcuffs. Right.

Are you worried that you're going to go through customs and forget that they're in there or something like that? No. No, absolutely not. I don't think you could get in trouble for handcuffs, could you? Surely. A taser, on the other hand, probably not. Yeah, they'd shepherd you off

into another room to ask you some questions at least. Finally, Amber, welcome to the show. Hi, Amber. Hello. What's the weirdest thing

you've got in your handbag right now? Okay, I've got two weird things. So I've got my mum. I've got my son's handbag. Your mum? What's she doing in there? Whoa, how big's your handbag?

I don't want to go in there. So I've got my son's tummy, and then next to it I've got a female long personal device from my boyfriend's bag. Girl, you and... No, that's pretty common, Clint. In the handbag? Yeah.

They're not together. Like, I don't actually know which one to throw out. Wait, what was the other thing? Her son's dummy. Oh. Girl, you... They're not touching. They're in different compartments. Yeah, yeah was the other thing? Her son's dummy. They're not touching. They're a different kind of dummy. I believe you. I believe there's some sort of

protective barrier between them. In fairness, they're both kind of used for siblings. Hey, yesterday on the show, we had a revolutionary moment where every now and then something comes along and you get an idea for a radio competition and you go, this could last the ages. You're like, wait, has this been done before?

This could be a beat the bomb. Because it's hard to come up with new stuff these days. Everything's been done. Everything has been done. And there's so many radio stations looking for that one million dollar idea. It came to us by way of my brother who called me at a very unreasonable hour on a

Friday night and left me this voicemail message. You have one saved message. Hey, Clint. Just a wicked idea for a radio show. It's a gag called Cash Rash. Okay, Cash Rash. So, like, you find someone who's, like, allergic to these things and you, you like offer them

like 500 bucks to get stung by a bee and they're like maybe like 700 dollars if they refuse then like Ross Boss comes in he's like

1200 dollars to get stung by a bee and then they're like thanks cash rash but they're all swollen up so like anyway let me

know I'm pretty sure there's a bunch of people allergic to all sorts of shit shrimp peanuts um well yeah Anyway, let me know. I'm pretty sure there's a bunch of people who are listening to all sorts of shit. Shrimp, peanuts. Well, yeah, let me know because I think I'm on for a winner.

So have a good night and think about it. Bye. We are very lucky this afternoon to be joined by the creator of the next hit radio segment, Cash Rash. Welcome to the show, my brother, Callum Roberts. Hello, Callum. Hello, hello. Lucky you.

How's it going? Just to reiterate like you did in that message, was it Cash Rash? Yeah, well, it's a bit of a thinking man's game, I think. Once you get it, you know. Yeah. Oh, no, no, we get it. We get the thought that's gone into it. We don't in any way condone the competition that you've created.

I'll leave it to you where you put the dollar sign because there's two S's there, so you can find one and replace it with the old check. Well, surely it's got to be in both, or at least it's got to be in the cash part, right? Okay, yeah. Well, I'll just get off the ground. Look, it's your IP. I don't want to steal your idea.

I just... Oh, my God. We did yesterday, we did present this to Ross Boss, who you've included in the idea. I like that. You've tailor-made this competition for ZM. He's had 24 hours to think on it. Would you like to hear the feedback

about your new radio segment, Cash Rash? Absolutely, yeah, sure. Now, it's what I like to call a compliment sandwich, I believe. That's what Ross Boss always does. So we'll start with a positive. I love your enthusiasm and passion. Short and sweet. Great.

Brief. Loves your enthusiasm and your passion. What else has he got? Well, let's go to, I don't want to say negative, let's go to a constructive. It's a health and safety nightmare where someone may literally die. How did you not think of that? I have to have a meeting with our lawyers just from Clint playing your voicemail.

We've already had a formal complaint too. All right, all right, before you layer on the next compliment, because I know it's coming, I have a question for Bree. Have you done a first aid course? I mean, yeah. Well, you're in your suite. You've got nothing to worry about. Just go.

I feel like first aid course, I don't know. She doesn't even know where to stick the EpiPen. Should we need to call on it? It's in the privates, isn't it? Let's finish as we do because it's a compliment sandwich. Let's finish with a positive. This is from Ross Boss's last piece of feedback. Well, it rhymes. That's good

for radio. He's right. It does rhyme. So, technically, I heard more positives than negatives there, Callum. Absolutely. Two out of three. Two out of three. Totally, right? With your permission, we will now fast forward this to the planning stages. We'll move it over to promos and marketing.

They'll find some funding for it. Hold on, mate. I've got to read out this text that's just come through on the text machine for you, Callum. Oh, please do, yeah. It says, the dollar sign should be in the rash part of the title because the cash is in the rash. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, that's what's winning you the cash. That was me. I think I said that. Yep. Let's take the... What a genius. Let's take the payment element of this negotiation off air.

But again, my brother, Callum Roberts, thank you for a genius radio segment, Cash Rash. Thank you. All of them. Brilliant. We'll talk soon. He's full of something. Listen up.

Anyone in New Zealand right now that is looking for a room to move into and you're looking for a flatmate. Oh, okay. There'll be lots of people like that. Heaps of people. I've obviously got some people's attention right now. People coming home from university.

Yes. People who are finishing university for the year and not going back. This could be the roommate for you. Okay. I'm going to read out the flatmate ad that this person has put up. Yeah.

And then you tell me your thoughts. Cool. Okay, cool. So this is legit. Yeah, it's a real listing. This is a real listing for a flatmate wanted. Mm-hmm. So it's a guy and he's looking to share a two-bedroom,

two-bathroom apartment and he would like to move in no later than February 1st. So he has the apartment and he wants someone to move in with him. Is that right? Yeah. I think he's looking for someone to find a flat with. Oh, okay. So you'll form a team and then you'll go and find a place together. Yes. Okay, sure.

So he says in the ad flatmate must be vegan. Oh, yeah. Not vegetarian. Must be vegan. Alright. Who is responsible, mature, quiet and independent. They must work full time and have an excellent credit rating.

Credit rating? Mm-hmm. Being clean and educated is also a must. In brackets it says bachelor's degree or higher. Are you serious? I'm being totally serious. He goes on and says he's not 420 friendly. Do any of the producers know what that means?

Any of you guys know what they're referring to there? Producer Ellie? I have no idea what he means by that. No. But I'm intrigued. I think it means by that late part of the afternoon, you must still be in a good mood and be friendly. I think that's what they're referring to.

Right. 420 friendly. Blaze it, cool. Must eat 100% vegan inside the apartment. This includes your guests. Right. No smoking or junk food allowed. I eat 100% sugar free.

No added sugar allowed in this house. This guy sounds like a ball of fun. Oh, no, wait. Chill, because it's some good stuff. Fruit is okay. Oh, great. wait. Chill, because it's some good stuff. Fruit is okay. Oh, great. He enjoys reading. Is fruit vegan? Can we check if fruit vegan? Yeah. I enjoy

reading, poetry, yoga, tai chi, and raw vegetable juicing. I'm trying really hard not to pass judgment. I generally keep to myself, and I'm not looking to be close friends. I'm willing to spend up to $1,000 a month

including utilities. Please call or email me if this sounds like something you are also looking for. How many people is that guy going to get? The thing is

there is someone perfect for everybody. Is there? Yeah. There is a yin to his yang. True. Everyone except that guy. That's the problem, eh, when you're planning.

You never know who you're going to get. If you are interested, you can text us on 9696. I'll put you in touch with him. Bree and Clint on ZM. This is where we take your birthdays and we figure out what was number one on your 16th birthday. Weta. Weta. Hello, how's it going?

Is that your name? Yeah. Yeah, cool. Cool, mate. What's your birthday? 17th of Feb 1998. Okay, Weta, you were 16 in 2014 on the 17th of Feb, and this is your birthday banger. Katy Perry and Juicy J, Dark Horse.

How do you feel about that, Witta? Oh, yeah, it's not too bad, not too bad. It's all right, eh? It's okay. I don't mind that song. Yeah, no, it's not bad. Pretty good. Teresa, kia ora. Hello.

What's your birthday, Teresa? 1st of February, 1970. Hey, Teresa, we're birthday buddies.'s your birthday, Teresa? 1st of February 1970 Hey, Teresa, we're birthday buddies Can I just put that in there? Oh, that's cool Yeah, that is cool A lot of first of febs has been coming through lately

Yeah Teresa, you were 16 in 1986 on the first of feb and on that day this was top of the chart Oh, that's cool Sausage rolls You get Starship We Built This City Woo! Oh, that's cool. Sausage rolls.

You get Starship, We Built This City. That's great. Do you remember this from your 16th? Oh, I do. Yeah. That's a tune, Teresa. That is a tune. Okay, we've got one more to do. We played Cobra Starship last week in birthday band.

Oh, no, it's only natural that we play the original Starship. You probably have to play the original. Nicola, kia ora. Hi. Hello. What's your birthday, Nicola, kia ora. Hi, hello. Hello. What's your birthday, Nicola? On the 17th of March, 87. Okay, you were 16 in 2003 on the 17th of March,

and on that day, this was number one. I am beautiful, no matter what they say. Words can't bring me down. Vintage Christina Aguilera. That's one of my favourite songs. It's one of your favourite songs? Is it? Well, it's just only natural because it's your birthday banger.

Do you know all the words to it? Yeah, but we won't go there. Will we not? I'll take car windows and everything. If I was to push play on it, would we go there in the car? If I sing on this show, you can sing on this show. Oh, no. No, no, no.

All right, for the first one, one time only, Nicola doing Beautiful by Christine Aguilera. He's going to take it away from me. Don't look at me. Here you go, Nicola. It's your birthday. No, you don't have to sing. You just enjoy the song, okay?

Don't worry. Enjoy the song, Nicola. Happy birthday. She's like, I don't think you understand. You just enjoy the song, okay? Don't worry. You enjoy the song, Nicola. Happy birthday. She's like, I don't think you understand. No, no, no, no, no. I said no. No means no. This is your birthday banger today, New Zealand.

In the car. Sorry to all the Starship fans. Maybe next time. Bree and Clint, ZM. All together, New Zealand. Come on, bring it home. Don't you bring me down Today

That is a wonderful birthday banger. What an anthem. For Nicola. It was for Nicola, wasn't it? It was for Nicola. Xt it? It was for Nicola. Xtina. Vintage Xtina. Such a versatile artist.

She can go from an emotive banger like Beautiful into this. Into an arseless chap. Into an arseless chap. Straight pivot. It's getting close, mate. We're literally under a month away to Christmas. Can you feel it? Yeah.

Done any shopping? No. I had my first small freak out today. What do you like with Christmas shopping? I'm usually pretty good But I really like to give good gifts Oh yeah And I don't like to disappoint

Right Are we giving gifts to each other? Yeah Okay good Well good that I know that now Oh god We're just checking I don't know Mate we've only got how many weeks left of the show?

Yeah I know two weeks Two and a half weeks Yeah so you better get on that train. Yeah. And I was saying to you off air, does your family have any like traditions that you guys do? We have the usual ones where we always try and come together as a family for at least a day, even if we can't get together on the day. We do the big Christmas lunch and then sit around too full for the rest of the day. Yeah. Like that's standard pretty much in New Zealand, right? A lot of people will do that.

I'm talking the weird quirky things that somehow come about in families. Have you got some? Mate, I've got so many. What does your family do? What does the Thomas L family Christmas look like? Probably one of the original things we did, and this is illegal, but I mean the Aussie cops aren't going to be listening. We used to go out to the forestry and cut down a tree every year.

For your Christmas tree? Yep. Cool. Okay. And then each year, a different kid would get to pick the tree. Yeah. And sometimes we just would pick one off the road. Yeah, that is against the rules. My dad would pull out a chainsaw.

This is no joke. Cut down the tree. And every year, the tree against the rules. My dad would pull out a chainsaw. This is no joke. Cut down the tree. And every year, the tree never fit inside. Always a pine tree? Always a pine tree. Okay, cool. Yep. What about every year before anyone is allowed to touch any presents

on Christmas morning, we have to have the all-time great, the best Christmas album that's ever been made, Elvis. Playing in the background. Very sexy Christmas when Elvis is playing. Oh, do yourself a favour, New Zealand. If you don't have this album, go get it and put it on this Christmas. Christmas menage a trois for your ears. Elvis, Buble,

Mariah Carey. That's all you need. That's the three big ones, right? That's the holy trinity of Christmas. I think one of the other ones is my dad does not cook a meal at all, all year. But on Christmas morning, it is his job to fry up

the biggest bacon and eggs fry up you've ever seen. Okay, I like it. I just remembered, we have had a tradition for years, which has gone by the wayside. What is it? My brothers and I used to decorate the Christmas tree in our undies. I don't know why.

I don't know why. It's just one of those traditions that came up. Don't look at me like that. Who came up with that idea? I don't know. That's a tradition, right? It is, yeah, and it's one that I miss. If my brothers are listening, let's get together. Don't look at me like that. Who came up with that idea? I don't know. I don't know. That's a tradition, right? It is. Yeah, and it's one that I miss.

Okay, if my brothers are listening, let's get together. Let's get in our undies this year. Let's get decorating. I want to see a photo of that. So do I. Yep, recreate it, mate. I want to hear from the people this afternoon. What's your weird, different Christmas tradition?

Yeah, what does your family do? Yeah, what's your family doing every Christmas? Maybe it's not your family too. Maybe you spend Christmas with your friends. Maybe you and your friends have a weird Christmas tradition. Maybe it's one person in particular that gets too drunk every year. Uncle Tim, shout out

to you. He always brings his home brew and it's always off. 0800 dial ZM. You can text them through on 9696 as well. What's the thing in your family that you always do on Christmas Day, but not necessarily other people would be doing? It might be unique to your family.

Like it might be a very special thing that you guys do and only you do. And it might be weird to anybody else who's not a part of it. But for you guys, it's Christmas, right? Yeah, I remember friends of ours, they used to put up the Christmas tree the day before Christmas. Why? That was just their tradition. I guess sometimes that's when the whole family is together.

Yeah. That's when you have an opportunity to do it together. So we're going to find out what they are from Jay first. Merry Christmas, Jay. Merry Christmas to you. Oh, it's the first time I've said it this year. Same. Yeah.

There you go. Jay, what's your Christmas tradition? Well as far as I can remember I'm 30 plus But as far as I can remember We've celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve Really? All the parents and the grandparents were in the kitchen Cooking all day

We'd eat around about 10, 30, 11 o'clock And open our presents at midnight And then Christmas morning we would wake up and drive around everywhere else and eating all day. Go and eat everyone else's food. Jay, have you got a spare spot? I'd love to come eat all day. Sounds like a good bloody Christmas.

It takes the pressure off Christmas Day too. Get it all out of the way, right? It does. Hey, Chris. Hi, how are you? Good. Merry Christmas. Oh, Merry Christmas.

A bit early, but yeah, Merry Christmas. Nah, never too early. How good is it? What's your Christmas tradition in your family? Well, quite a few years ago, we got hold of like this fake gherkin. And what you do is you hide it within the tree. And the first person in the family that finds it gets to open the first present. Wait, what is it?

It's the gherkin. Chris. Chris. Yeah. Wait, what is it? Chris. Chris. Yeah. Is your family tradition hide the gherkin? It sounds like the kind of Christmas game your dodgy uncle suggests. So weird. That's my New Year's tradition. I know.

But it does get worse that we haven't done it for like two years now because we lost the gherkin. No one knows where it is. What, it's one gherkin? Yeah, yeah. You're not getting a fresh gherkin each time? Well, no. That's what I did two years ago.

I decided I'd get a fresh one, dry it with a paper towel and hide it, but it's started to go a bit funny. Bring it back this year, Chris. Christmas at your house. We can't let that tradition die. Christmas at your house. That was like a hoot. Hey, Jess. I don't know if you're going to be able to beat that,

but what's your Christmas tradition? Are you there, Jess? Oh, hi. Hi. What's your Christmas tradition? For my Christmas tradition, so for all the men in the family To get out of brunch dishes And dinner prep They go play 18 holes of golf

What? I mean, great tradition I thought you were going to say They play, you know, some backyard cricket Which that is a good Christmas tradition That's just Yeah, exactly No, they go right out of the home

And go to a golf course and play 80 pounds. You've been hoodwinked by those men, Jess. Maybe suggest hide the gherkin. We drink the wine, so it's fine. That'll keep them at home. Alright, A, thank you. Merry Christmas, New Zealand. I'm going to start saying it non-stop now. Oh, you're going to be that Merry Christmas. No, Merry Christmas to you.

Now, if you know this show, if you've been listening for a bit, you'll know that Brie is somewhat of a master of impressions, yeah? I mean, all of New Zealand has been talking about my impressions, mainly my George Ezra. Homegrown alligator, see you later. Gotta hit the road. Gotta hit the road. Speaks for itself.

It really does. We're very lucky because on the show this afternoon, we have the world's leading George Ezra impersonator about to join us. So you're going to go head to head with this person. Nicola, you know Breeze George Ezra, right? You know that one that we just played? Oh, yeah. Yep, I do.

Have you been talking about it with your friends, Nicola? You know, I wouldn't say it comes up in topics regularly, but, you know, it definitely has been avoided. I just need you to listen carefully, okay, because we're going to put them head to head now. You wait there. Welcome to the show, and we're very lucky to have him. Like I said, the world's leading George Ezra impersonator.

Good afternoon. Hello. How are you? Very – oh, he's even got the accent. He George Ezra impersonator. Good afternoon. Hello. Hello. How are you? Very, oh, he's even got the accent. He does have the accent down. See, I don't have that. We didn't even catch your name. What was your name?

Sorry. My name is James. James. James. Okay. And you reckon you do a pretty cracking George Ezra too? Yeah. So I've been employed once or twice.

Only ever kind of overdub stuff. So never in person. I don't look anything like him, but I can sound like once or twice. Only ever kind of overdub stuff, so never in person. I don't look anything like him, but I can sound like him quite well. He even sounds like his speaking voice. Actually, I didn't grow up far from him. That's the most amazing thing. I didn't grow up far from him. Well, this is the test then.

Where did you grow up? So I believe he grew up in Hertfordshire, and I actually grew up in Essex, which is the neighbouring county. So close. That is quite incredible. Okay, now, this is a competition, and I hope you're okay with this. We have New Zealand's leading George Ezra impersonator, and you, the Globe's leading George Ezra impersonator.

Who wants to go first in this competition? I mean, maybe I'm more than happy. Are you? Oh, both confident. Okay, I'm going to give you a piece of a George Ezra song and then you're going to mimic that bit for us. Is that okay? Okay. Yeah, absolutely. Best of luck.

This is the song you'll be doing for us this afternoon. Homegrown alligator see you later. Gotta hit the road. Gotta hit the road. The sun ain't changing yet. Do you know it, James? I do, yeah.

That's what I'm booked for most of these days. Rings a bell? Absolutely. When you're ready, and we'll count you in. Take it away. And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four. Homegrown alligator, see you later. Gotta hit the road, gotta hit the road

Sun and change in the atmosphere Architecture unfamiliar I could get used to this That is phenomenal. I mean, yeah, it's okay. Well, you're up next. I mean, it's all right. Are you ready?

James, would you count Brian for her George Isra? Absolutely. Okay, so's all right. Are you ready? James, would you count Brian for her George Ezra? Absolutely. Okay, so one, two, one, two, three, four. Homegrown alligator, see you later. Gonna hit the road, gonna hit the road. The sun changing the atmosphere, architecture unfamiliar. I could get used to this. Oh, it's on.

Oh, it is really, really good. It is very close. I know. We're going to go back to our judge. Nicola, you're back with us. Now, you took in both of those impersonations, right? Oh, wow. Tough comp.

Tough comp. Wouldn't like to be you, Nicola. There is just so much passion in Bree's voice. She really brings home the inauthenticity of the voice she is trying to impersonate. Whereas James, I was astounded that I was even listening to a different person other than George Ezra. Now we need a decision, Nicola.

I know you want to be fair. Nicola, if George Ezra. Now, we need a decision, Nicola. I know you want to be fair. Nicola, if George Ezra was listening right now, out of me and James, who do you think does the better George Ezra? Well, I'm going to have to solidly say not Brie. Not Brie? So you're giving it to James? I'm giving it to James, 100%.

That's lucky because James isn't James. It's the real George Ezra. Shut the front door. Shut the front door. Welcome to the show, George Ezra. Hello, mate. Thank you for having me. Oh, Nicola, can I just say thank God you went with that option.

I know for a second that I thought Nicola was going to give it to Brie. I was like, what is going on? I mean, I'm devastated. I think it's an absolute BS decision. George, Charlie Chapman lost a Charlie Chapman impersonator competition, so it wouldn't be the first time. But I want to say congratulations to you, first of all,

for taking it out. Thank you very much. Probably one of the hardest comps he's been in. We have a special request for you. You're going to be here in the country on the 4th of February. You're playing the Spark Arena. When you get here,

what do you think about an in-studio collaboration with New Zealand's leading George Ezra impersonator? I'm going to say, don't call me, I'll call you. I hear, I hear. That's a lock it in. That is a lock it in from George. You know what, George?

It's about all the encouragement we need. Thank you for competing in the world's first George Ezra impersonation competition. Thank you for having me. Thanks so much, George. What a legend. Homegrown alligator. Bree and Clint on ZM. impersonation competition. Thank you for having me. Thanks so much, George. What a legend. He just joined us on the show under the pseudonym James to take part in the world's first

George Ezra impersonation competition. The real George Ezra endorsing my impersonation. That's what I heard. The Simon Cowell of the situation too was our friend Nicola. Can you believe you just judged a George Ezra competition featuring George Ezra?

No. No. I was... No. Be honest with us. Did you have any idea that it was really him? Literally zero. I was like, wow, that guy's actually not too shabby.

Pretty damn good, right? He's a pretty damn good impersonator. But you're like, not quite flawless though. Yeah, I was like, he's not perfect, but he's better than Bree. If you missed it, this is George Ezra doing George

Ezra in a George Ezra impersonation competition. Homegrown alligator, see you later. Gotta hit the road, gotta hit the road. Sun ain't changing the atmosphere. Architecture unfamiliar. I could get used to this. I still think I was robbed. You know what?

There's not much to rob. Okay, Nicola. We're really hopeful that we can make this collab happen when it comes to the country in the new year. I think that would be amazing. Nicola, do you want to hear that? It'd be the pinnacle of my career. You know what?

It would be the pinnacle of my judging career is to hear that. Look, if it happens, we'll definitely get you in, okay? Thanks. I appreciate that. There we go. That's George Ezra doing George Ezra. Let's play this game now. We've got three double passes up for grabs to Mumford and Sons.

They're playing the Outer Fields at Western Springs Stadium on the 12th of January. Tickets are from secretsounds.com. And this is awesome. We've got double passes every day this week and we've got a tonne of them and we're playing Mumford or Not. All you have to do, we'll give you two song titles.

You just have to tell us which one isn't the Mumford and Sons song. Sam, you're up first, okay? I need to know from you which of these is not the title of a Mumford and Sons song. Which is not? Is it? And you will have a timer. Oh, it will give you time to make your decision.

Don't worry about that. Is it sigh no more or stop sighing so much, you whingy pain in my ass? Now, I'm going to give you time to think about that. You're too coy. And now, Sam, I'm going to need an answer. I'm going to go, stop sighing so much. A huge, long, sickened one.

Sam, you're off to Mumford & Sons. Awesome. No worries, mate. No worries. Easy as that, right? Yeah. What a fantastic game. Let's give somebody else a go at this. This is Kat. All right, Kat, are you ready? Yes, right? Yeah. What a fantastic game. Let's give somebody else a go at this.

This is Kat. All right, Kat, are you ready? Yes, I'm ready. Okay, you have to tell me which of these is not a Mumford & Sons song. Sweet. Is it Just Smoke or Just Smoke Weed? Here comes the timer, Kat. Kat, we're going to need an answer. All right.

The not song is Just Smoke Weed. You're going to Mumford and Son. Awesome. Thank you. No worries. Could have easily been a Mumford song, though. I mean, this is one of those competitions that really could go either way. We've got one more double pass to give away,

which I hope we can get a winner for. Emma. Hello. Hello. You a big Mumford & Sons fan? Massive. Excellent. You're going to need to draw on every iota of that Mumford & Sons knowledge

this afternoon, okay? Not a problem. Now, remember, we need you to identify which one is not a Mumford & Sons song for a double pass to Mumford & Sons. It's hard to say. It's hard. It's a hard game. Is the song which does not belong to Mumford & Sons, Little Lion Man or Tiny Cabbage Hands?

Now, your timer starts now. Emma, we're going to need an answer. The song that is not Muffin and Sons is Little Cabbage Man. Close enough, girl. You're going to Muffin and Sons. Thank you. Yeah. We're waiting for you. Got 100% success rate for this competition so far.

It's really good. Maybe we need to make it harder. I'm not keen for that. If you want to go, like we said, the tickets are available from secretsounds.com. This is going to be massive. It is selling fast. It's on January 12, Mumford & Sons live at Western Springs.

We'll play again tomorrow. Brie and Clint on ZM. Oh, my God. I heard she bought all her followers. She would. She's such a bitch. It's time for Brie and Clint's Instafame game. Three games left for the year.

Producer Ellie is here. She asks the questions. What's the situation for the remainder of the year, Ellie? So the score's 11-8, and we have three more weeks of Instafame. So if Brie wins every single game, then there will be a tie break in the final week. Whereas I only need to win one more game to take out the year. Basically.

And it's all over. Yeah, it's all over. Can I just ask, how many games have I won in a row? I think it's two now. I've won two games. I don't think I've ever won

three games in a row. Ooh, hat trick, is it? How the game works is Ellie gives us people from Instagram, famous people, and we've got to guess within 10 seconds how many followers that person has. Closest to gets the point, and it's first to three.

Ellie, when you're ready, give us our first Instagram celebrity. Your first celebrity is the world's greatest George Ezra impersonator, George Ezra. How many Instagram followers does George Ezra impersonator, George Ezra. How many Instagram followers does George Ezra have? I don't know. That's a really hard one. There's a big split here. All right, Clint, you've gone with 120,000.

Yeah. Bree, you've gone with a million. Am I going to need to do some maths here? Because George Ezra has 649,000. Oh, no. It's right smack bang in the middle. It's really right in the middle. Wait, producer Ben is frantically doing the math.

I'm going to need your help here, Ben. We'll just stall here. So I've said 120. You've said one million. And the answer is 649. So I am... Oh, I'm not even going to do the math because I won't. Oh, producer Ben, we're going to go to the referee.

Who put a million? Was that you, Bree? I did. Bree is closest by about 100,000. Wow. Well done. I'll take it. Well done.

Tough one point. I loved going to the video ref, otherwise known as Producer Ben. We're heading to the bunker, New Zealand. Let's go to the bunker. Celebrity number two, hit us. All right, this guy's been teasing some music today with Miley Cyrus, Mark Ronson. Oh, Uptown Funko, give it to you.

He's big, he is. Yeah, but is he big on Instagram? Of course he is, yeah. He would be. Yeah, that's... All right. Clint, you've gone with 1.2 million for Mark Ronson. Correct.

Brie, you've gone 4 million for Mark Ronson. Mark Ronson has 395,000, which means, Clint, you've got a point. He hasn't even cracked the milli. No, not even half a milli. But hey, maybe soon after Miley's new song, whatever they're doing. Totally. Okay, one point each. Hit us with our next one, Bri.

Ellie? All right, the next one. I'll take it as a compliment. Thanks a lot. I guess. Shawn Mendes, he's just featured on the Rolling Stone cover. Okay, he'll be big. Yeah, he...

The ladies love him. He's so handsome. I'm fanning myself. He's so handsome. The ladies love some of him. He's be big. Yeah, he... The ladies love him. He's so handsome. Yeah, I'm fanning myself. He's so handsome. The ladies love some of him. He's very cute. Ooh. I think I've gone big, but he's popular.

I don't think he's Bieber level, but I think he's big. He's up there. He's pretty big, yeah. So, Clint, you've gone with $23 million for Shawn Mendes. Yeah. Bray, you've gone $29 million for Shawn Mendes. Ooh, close. Shawn Mendes has $38 million.

Back to point three. That means I'm two. I could take it here. You could take it here. My heart rate's up. The pressure is on you more than it is me. Okay. Get out of my head.

I mean, don't choke. Because if you win this, then you're well on track to Christmas. Like, this is the point you need. Yeah, mate. This is the point that will really... But this will be three wins in a row. Mate, stop trying to get into my head. There's nothing up top here.

Okay. There's nothing to mess with. That's true. Ellie, when you're ready. For celebrity. My favourite probably at Friday Jams Live was Tyo Cruz. You've thrown us an absolute curveball. I have because you don't know how many he's got.

Who's following Tyo Cruz on the gram? Who is following? Who isn't? He's got bangers, but I reckon all of his bangers came out before Instagram. That's a good point. All right, let's talk in more writing. All right, Tyo Cruz. That's a hard one.

It's hard, eh? And I feel like I'm insulting him with my number as well, but I just feel like that's where he's at. All right, Tyo Cruz. Clint. Oh, mate. Clint said 40,000 for Tyo Cruz. Bree has said

600,000 for Tyo Cruz. Tyo Cruz has 110,000 which gives Clint the point. Oh, I love this. Oh, it's a tie break. You know what this is? Tie break. The victory was within your No. Tie-break. No.

The victory was within your grasp. It still is. It still is. You can still take this. Don't look at me. You need this too. Don't look at me. You really need this.

Otherwise the game's over for the year. We might as well not play it anymore. I just want to get on with the game. Who's the next person? Okay, your next person. You both love her latest song, Rita Ora. I love Rita Ora. I was on her Instagram the other day.

Were you? No, you weren't. Oh, I can't even remember how many followers she's got. Isn't she on the show? We're talking to her tomorrow as well. We are, aren't we? And I met, she was in love with me that time she met me. Oh, was she?

We had that romantic moment. I need this. As if. So you surely must know how many Instagram followers she has. Oh, was she? We had that romantic moment. I need this. As if. So you surely must know how many Instagram followers she has. Oh, this is so hard. Come on.

You looked at mine. I did not. You did. You looked at mine. All right. How many did you put? 45 million. For Rita Ora,

Clint has put 45 million. Nah, I've won it. I remember she wasn't that high. Brie. Brie has said 13.5 million. Nah, I've won it. I remember she wasn't that high. Brie. Brie has said $13.5 million. Rita Ora has $14.1 million. She's done it for a third week. She's going for the hat.

Can't you go all the way? I'm devastated. I'm not even going to hide it I am devastated I can't believe I've done it Wait I still got two weeks to go I was going to say Don't celebrate yet mate

You're not quite across the finish line Rita Ora you beautiful woman Let's get festive for a minute Oh I'd love to Wait let's get festive There we go I want, I'd love to. Wait, let's get festive. There we go. I want to talk for a second. It's not too early, eh?

No, it's not too early. It is the season. We're in the realm. Are we in a month of Christmas? Surely. We are. Hey, Siri, how many sleeps until Christmas? It's three weeks and six days until then.

Yeah, I said how many sleeps How many Siri, how many sleeps till Christmas? It's three weeks and six days Go away It's three weeks and six days till Christmas Maybe you could get a new Siri for Christmas Maybe I could

Let's talk Christmas ornaments Sorry, Christmas what? Ornaments There you go Christmas ornaments I thought this was a sashimi shashimi situation Christmas ornaments Ornaments what? Ornaments. There you go. Christmas ornaments. I thought this was a sashimi sashimi situation. Christmas ornaments. Ornaments.

Ornaments. Ornaments. Ornaments. There you go. Ornaments. Let's talk Christmas decorations. There you go. You know every year on Christmas you pull out the old tree and all of the decorations are getting old.

Not us. Can't. Can't have a Christmas tree in our house. Why not? Two cats. They pull all the stuff down. They climb it. They climb it. Our decorations are getting old. Not us. Can't. Can't have a Christmas tree in our house. Why not? Two cats. They pull all the stuff down. They climb it.

They climb it and I'm worried one of them will poo under it because they'll think it's an outdoor tree. That's fair enough. But in a normal household, I know what you're saying. It's Christmas time. You get out the old box of decorations. You could have decorations that you've had since you were at school. Do you know how you make ones at school? Oh, they last forever.

Let me tell you about the new thing in Christmas decorations. Please do. For the tree. Ornaments. Ornaments. Ornaments. Yeah. What about... They're ornamental.

That's why they're called ornaments. No, I get it. I just can't say it. Oh, okay, cool. Have you heard of the vaginament? Oh, you can say that. And you just did. No, I haven't.

Why is that so shocking? No, it's not. It's just not a word is that so why is that so shocking no it's not it's just not a word you'd normally associate with christmas no it's not but guess what there is a company on etsy the website you know that website it sees like wish they make heaps of weird stuff you buy lots of stuff off that website anyway there's this one company. I can't remember. They're called Felt Melons. And they make all these ornaments. Ornaments. Ornaments out of felt. They've decided to support breast cancer research.

Yes. Great cause. To make a vaginament. Right. So they're decorations. Why did they go south? They should have gone. No, they make those too.

Oh, you can get. But they've been making the boob Boobments You can Christmas baubles Literally You can get jingle bells They've been making those For years Oh right okay

They've decided to bring in the Vaginament Yep And apparently They're selling like hotcakes Can I say a Vaginament Sounds like something you use As a Like a freshener

Like a breath freshener For Vaginament That's a good idea That is also a good idea Put that in the ideas bank guys Take producers you use as a freshener, like a breath freshener for vagina mint. That's a good idea. That is also a good idea. Put that in the Ideas Bank, guys. Hey, producers.

Producers, can we chuck vagina mints into the Ideas Bank, please? Yeah, no issues, mate. Thank you very much. Copyright of the Bree and Clint show. Do you want to see what they look like? This is minty fresh.

Have you been using vagina mints? No, bad yourself. Wow, that's them. Okay, shall I try and describe this? Yeah, try and describe. And I'm going to try and do it in a tasteful way. Imagine a pear-shaped felt ornament. Yep.

In the centre is a circle, which is skin-coloured, and it comes in multiple different skin tones. And then in the... Different layers, too, if you want the layers. Yeah. And then in the... Different layers too, if you want the layers. Yeah. And then in the middle is a... A bell. There's a gap. And then there's a bell just at the top.

At the top. Just at the top. Yeah. And the gaps are a darker colour. And the bell, can I say, nice and easy to find. Very visible. Mm-hmm. Wow, fantastic.

I know what I'll be getting for my Christmas tree when I'm able to put one up. I've already ordered you some. Fantastic. You're welcome. Merry Christmas. No, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. I want to talk hipster sandwiches for a second. You know how hipsters have the ability to ruin

anything? As soon as hipsters decide that something's cool, you might as well not be into it anymore because they'll either make it really expensive or they'll make you look like a wanker for enjoying it. I'm talking about drinking out of jars. I'm talking about growing beards. Instead of a piece,

instead of a bun, make it a field mushroom for the base. That's exactly what I'm talking about. I'm gluten-free, so instead of, not a gluten-free bun, but I'd love just a mushroom.

And if you can just make that mushroom into a burger, it'd be great. I want to take you to a cafe in Sydney. Of course it's out of Sydney. Where a cafe is serving what they're calling a deconstructed ham sandwich. So when you order a ham sandwich from this cafe, don't expect it to come made because that's too mainstream. That's what normies are doing, you know?

That's what everyone's doing. Oh, my God. That is so mainstream. You know why they're doing that? Because it's a foolproof thing. It's been tested. A ham sandwich is good. When it's made and ready to eat

that's what you're in for that's delicious if you want if you want to go to the supermarket and get the ingredients up you're welcome to do that i'm in a rush i'd like my sandwich built not from this cafe they'll give you a box inside the box you'll find two pieces of bread looks like a sourdough that's okay i love a sourdough delicious right so you get the bread in there anyway then in the other side of the box there there's ham, just a pile of ham. There's some avocado. There's some spring onion cut up on top of the avocado. There's some slices of cucumber, some lettuce, some tomato.

All the great ingredients of a ham sandwich. It's all good up until now. There's a small container that contains some mustard, which could have just been spread on the bread, but no, you apply your own mustard. There's a single pickle placed inside the mustard. One pickle? And then there's strawberry. Strawberry? For what? For your ham sandwich. Like the jam or the actual fruit?

No, two pieces of strawberry inside the box for you to put inside your hipster deconstructed ham sandwich. Oh, it looks so fancy. Look at like the herbs that they've got on top of the avocado and stuff. As a salad, that looks quite nice, right? It looks okay. It's fine.

But it's not. It's a sandwich. And then you're expected to then go in, get your fingers dirty, and build this sandwich. How much would you expect to pay for the privilege of building your own sandwich at a hipster cafe in Sydney? I don't want to build my own sandwich. I want it to be done for me.

No, no, no, no, no. Like I said, that's too mainstream. How much? For a deconstructed ham sandwich, we'll give you the ingredients, but you make the sandwich. Yep, so I could do this at home. Will only cost you 17 Australian dollars. Honestly.

Like imagine if you went into a sushi shop and they go, here's the ingredients, roll your own sushi. Bree and Clint on Zit Im. A story coming out of Edinburgh. Early morning, Wednesday morning at a McDonald's in Edinburgh and the police were called to a McDonald's after a man removed his clothing, started to give the patrons a dance. Oh, yeah, that sounds nice.

Started to do a bit of dance. Dinner and a show. Make a little love. Get down tonight. It turned south when he then jumped the counter of the Edinburgh McDonald's and started, this is direct quote from the article, started to carry out helicopter-like moves with his penis. Hmm.

When a problem comes along You must grip it Give all the cream that's not too long You must wipe it When something's wrong Yeah, okay. I didn't know he was full nude

while he was giving this show at the Edinburgh McDonald's. Full nude? Just giving the helicopter roll workout? Oh, whip it good. Guess how much he's been fined? How much? He's been fined $1,000. Ooh. Whip it good. Guess how much he's been fined. How much?

He's been fined $1,000. Oh. Sorry. Banned him from the McDonald's. I can get that. But a grand. No, apparently the sales went through the roof. Did they really?

Yeah. Why? Because they loved the dinner and the show. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, it just attracted more people in. Can I just offer a tip, by the way? If you're looking to get a good helicopter, it's one leg forward, one leg back,

and it's all about the push under with one side of the hip. I'm just... I can't relate. And it's not something that I can personally use in my lifetime. Can you do the whip it and catch? What's the catch? The catch. You haven't seen that.

No. On Jackass, they used to whip, whip, whip, and then catch it between their legs, and it looked like they've had a mangina. You know what? I've got something to work on tonight. I've got a project. Your wife, Lucy, is so lucky.

Yeah, she really is. She is. So is my local McDonald's. Brie and Clint on Zit-In.