ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – November 30th 2018

Episode Date: November 30, 2018

Vocal fryZM memeWeird namesBirthday Banger!How old is your pet?Mumford or not Day 5Chat-RouletteRita Ora interviewHow long should sex last?Clint InappropriateFuneral first dateSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Zed-M! Let's go, go, go! Now let me see you dance! Zed-M's Brie and Clint. Afternoon everybody, welcome to the show. Happy Friday. Happy Friday to you guys. Brie has already Uber-eats-ed herself two bowls of pasta.

Why would you go and say that? Because it's right in front of me and you did it. You could have said I Uber-eats-ed a salad. No, no, no, no. I have this one place that I'm obsessed with, this Italian place. Yeah. And there's these two particular dishes and I can never pick between each. So I just get both.

So you get them both. Well, you're Italian. Yeah. So you're not carbo-loading. You're embracing your culture. Yeah. Also, who's the sad person Uber Eatsing a salad? I'm sorry.

Uber Eats is a treat. Yeah. Why are you Uber Eatsing a salad. I'm sorry, Uber Eats is a treat. Yeah, why are you Uber Eatsing? You're Uber Eatsing McDonald's or pasta or pizza, something like that. Salad? Why are you paying a delivery fee on a salad?

Why are you going to double punish yourself like that? Some of the girls out in the office Uber Eatsing a poke bowl. No, I could do a poke bowl. I could do a poke bowl. That's a salad. Well. Technically. Is it good for you, though?

There's a big debate happening out in the office at the moment, actually. About? Poke bowls. No, not about. Whether you say poke or poke. No, it's actually about a word. You know when you put a little picture, when you, I don't want to give away. You know when you're putting a little picture on your phone?

Emojis. Yeah, how to say that word. Emoji. There's one girl out there. There's no other way to say emoji. That's what I said and that's what everyone else said except for one of the girls that's trying to convince everyone that it's emoji.

Oh, get rekt. Emoji. Emoji. It's never been emoji. There's no G in it. It's not emoji. It's emoji. It's emoji or emoji. That's all I'll it. It's not emoji. It's emoji. It's emoji or emojay.

That's all I'll accept. Emojay. Hey, we've got a great show coming up for you. We've got our last three double passes to Mumford & Sons to give away at 5.30 today. Plus, Rita Ora is on the show. She's joining us on the show. I can finally convince you that me and her know each other

and that we've got past history. So that'll go down this afternoon. Also, there is brand new music that has just dropped from Miley Cyrus and Mark Ronson and we're going to open the show with it. This is called Nothing Breaks Like a Heart. Very different from Malibu, which we released last year. But very good. I like it.

We think. Check it out, ZM. Brie and Clint on ZM. I want to talk about something that's taking over, they reckon, or is about to take over. Forget about twerking. You know how there's always these trends that seem to come about? Planking. Planking. Are we going to plank again anytime soon?

No, I don't think so. Flossing. Let's bring it back. God, I hated flossing. Can we cancel flossing? Let's cancel it. No, actually, just cancel adults flossing. Yeah.

Actually, that's a good point. Cancel Instagram videos of your drunk friend trying to floss. They're not good. Maybe it's because I can't do it. That's why I'm sorry about it. Yeah, maybe we're jealous. Yeah, actually that's a good point. Cancel Instagram videos of your drunk friend trying to floss. They're not good. Maybe it's because I can't do it. That's why I'm sad about it. Yeah, maybe we're jealous. And the other Fortnite dance. I hate that too. Where you pump your fist forward and you kick your leg out. Can't do it either. So there's this new thing that they reckon is

taking over, especially millennials, young women especially. Okay. They've released a paper and this is coming out of New Zealand. It was published last Friday in the New Zealand Medical Journal. One of my favourite journals. Which suggests that a type of voice, which is called vocal fry, is becoming fashionable among middle-class women,

particularly millennials. How would you describe vocal fry? So vocal fry, I've looked into it. Basically, it's a vocalism that allows singers who want to sing really low and get like a low-sounding tone out of their voice. Does Miley use Vocal Fry on that song? I'm not sure, but I've grabbed some examples.

So this is where Vocal Fry comes from. You might remember this song from Kesha, blah, blah, blah. So it's kind of like that creaky. So Britney Spears has also used this in one of her big songs. You can really hear it. I'm starting to get it. So it was a big thing. It's like croaky.

It's low and croaky, isn't it? It's low, croaky sounds out of a female voice. Yeah. And it's mainly been used in obviously singers and people in music, but they're saying now it's becoming more and more popular in normal speaking voice due to people like Kim Kardashian. Well, Google alerts anymore on myself. I did,

but I haven't in a couple of years. Can you hear her doing it? Yeah. She's, she has to be the most extreme case, right? They're saying she's putting that on. Well. To make her voice more recognisable and more.

Oh. Yeah. She's invented a Kim Kardashian voice. If she's done that, she's a genius. Never seen before, so it's always fun to look. Best selfie taker. Selfies. Half and half.

A million times. Ames. Days. Hack. Actually, all of the Kardashians sound like that, can I say? Even Kourtney sounds mostly like that. It sounds like she's trying to be quiet, but not whisper. Like, I don't want anybody to hear what I'm saying.

Like, I just want to talk like this to sound, like, sexy, but also, like, cool. She sounds like she's in pain. I loved it. Launched my website. Getting a ready mail thing. Day. Like, in the world now. Daily mail's my everything. That's like she's in pain. I loved it. Launched my website. Getting it ready. Email thing. Day. Like in the world now. Daily mail's my everything.

That's like. When you like talk about it, you can't not hear it. Now that it has a name. Yeah. You're going to hear it everywhere. Vocal Fry. We want to give it a go this afternoon on 0800 Dial ZM. Do you think you could give Vocal Fry a go?

Oh yeah. So just go with your best Kim Kardashian impression oh is that what this is a Kim K

impersonation competition pretty much it have you got one the perfect day for me would probably be staying at home

making a big picnic in bed and then just watching lots of Netflix it's quite good let's see if you can beat it oh 800 dial ZM and then just watching lots of Netflix. It's quite good. Let's see if you can beat it.

Oh, I had to dial ZM. We're talking about something that's becoming super popular with young millennial women, which is vocal fry. Are there no guys doing vocal fry? Well, there's probably guys. Can you do vocal fry without an American accent? Doing vocal fry. It's the croaky bit, right? It's pretty much what Kim Kardashian speaks like.

We've got an example. Never seen before, so it's always fun to look. Best selfie taker. Selfies half and half a million times. And stays. That's how she actually speaks. Someone on the text machine. But, but, but, but, it's indistinguishable.

You cannot not think that's her, right? It's so she actually speaks. Someone on the text machine. But, but, but, but, but, it's indistinguishable. Like, it's, it's, it's, you cannot not think that's her, right? It's so recognisable. Yeah, it's actually used in vocals for singers to get a... Britney Spears does it. To get that low, creaky kind of tone. Vocal fry. Someone on the text machine actually has texted in saying, I'm a speech language therapist, kind of tone. Vocal fry. Someone on the text machine actually has texted in saying,

I'm a speech language therapist, and vocal fry is actually really bad for your vocal folds. It is becoming more popular due to celebrities, but it's super damaging for your cords. It creates tension and stress on the vocal cords and can lead to lots of problems. Interesting. Really interesting. We should get that therapist's opinion

on what screaming John Farnham's The Voice on a Thursday night at the work do does to your vocal folds as well. Who's doing that? I don't know, but do you want to play this game now with that information in mind? Yeah, so we're going to play the game.

Let's hear your best vocal fry, otherwise known as your best Kim K impression. Menez, hi. Hi. Ooh, I reckon you're going to be good at this. Bree's going to give you a sentence, and if yours is the best, we'll find you a prize, okay? Awesome.

All right, Menez, pretty much just say something like this. White is actually one of my favourite colours. I love white. All right. White is actually my favourite colour. I love white. You sound like a zombie. Sound like that little girl from The Grudge.

Okay, wait there. Let's go with Natasha. Hi. Hi. All right, Natasha. I want to hear you say, one of my favorite things is makeup. I just love everything about it.

Okay. One of my favourite... Sorry, can you repeat that again? One of my favourite things is makeup. I just love everything about it. One of my favourite things is makeup. I love everything

about it. You sound cold. Yeah, are you cold? No, I'm not cold. It makes me quite hot. Okay. Alright. One more. Let's go with Amy. Hi, Amy. Hi. Amy, are you cold? No, I'm not cold. It makes me quite hot. Okay. All right. One more. Let's go with Amy. Hi, Amy. Hi. Amy, are you ready? Yeah.

We're doing the Kim Kardashian impression. I want to hear you say, Kanye is an amazing artist, but he's also the best dad. Kanye is one of the favorite artists, and I forgot the rest of what you said. I like it though. There's one more person here who has messaged through who believes they have that voice.

What, they just sound like that is their voice. That's you, right, Rebecca? Yes, yep. You have a vocal fry. Yeah, I think it's actually a bit more because I lose my voice

rather than trying to be cool. Do you want to hear your take? Yeah. Okay. Alright, tell us what, say, my perfect date would be staying at home and watching Netflix. My perfect date would be staying at home

and watching Netflix. Not bad. See, I like hers because it wasn't put on. I really like the first one. Can we give it to Menez? It's pretty good. Menez, congratulations. Oh, we just hung up on Menez.

Oh, my God. No, not we. No, we. You hung up on Menez. Hey, my mistakes are your mistakes, all right? Menez is back. Menez is back. Oh, no, he's gone. Oh, we'll get to it later. No worries. Congrats, Menez. Oh, Menez is back. Menez is back. Oh, no, he's gone.

Oh, we'll get to it later. No worries. Congrats, Menez. Oh, my God. Oh, there's Menez. That was probably some of the best. Hello. Menez, you win.

Oh, thanks. I got cut off. Yeah, I hung up on you. Menez, really enjoy that prize that we'll get to you. Oh, thanks, Bree and Clint. I don't even know what that is. Bree and Clint on ZM. Welcome to the show.

Another good friend of the show. She works here at ZM. Her name is Trinette. Hi, Trin. Hi. Otherwise known as Web Girl Trin. Yeah, you do all the internetting. Everything that ZM puts on the internet

goes through your fingers, yeah? Yeah, somewhat. You pretty much run the Facebook. You run the Instagram. Yeah. You're a professional social media Yes you are They talk about people getting paid

to do social media you literally get paid to do social media And it's why I'm so good at stalking on Instagram You are Yeah that's the reason This is Trin who can find

anybody on Instagram with as little as if you bring them a strand of hair like if they brushed up against you in a bar and you want to find them, bring it to Trin. She'll sniff that piece of hair and then she'll chop it up. She'll go, that sounds like at Tom Hardy 165 to me.

Chop it up, put it in a little ball, sniff it up her nose, and then that's all she needs straight into Instagram. It's actually amazing to see her at work. We have you in here, Trin, because you today have created what we think is a great meme. And you have told us that you think it's the best meme you've ever created. Yeah.

We agree. Can I say we agree? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if this has been done before, radio memes, but we're going to do it. We're going to attempt to read a meme to you on the radio. In your time here, TrinadZM,

how often have you stolen memes and then repurposed them? I don't like to use the word stolen. I'd like to say... Refurbished. Refurbished, yeah. Radio stations love to do that, eh? They grab a meme that someone else has made... Put their own branding.

...and then they put their own logo on the bottom of it. That's rough. You haven't done that this time. You've created your own. And this is why we're so proud of it. We're really proud of you. And we're proud of you. It's topical.

It's funny. And it hits the ZDM listeners right in the... In the feels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's around Crate Day, which is tomorrow, right? Yeah.

Drink responsibly, New Zealand. Big day for New Zealanders. You've created a personal meme just for Crate Day. Yeah. Good luck. We're going to ask you to read your meme live and please don't. We would love the feedback on the text machine on 9696. Can I just say, I've been put on the radio heaps of times over the three years of working

and I've told horrible, embarrassing stories about climbing through windows and I've never been as nervous as I am right now. Well, that's good. It means a lot to you. Let those nerves push you forward to greatness. Here we go. We get that. Trin's first original meme.

Girls. No. Wait for the drum roll to finish. I was like, it made me to quickly say it while the drum roll was going. Let's go again. Hang on.

I'll do the drum roll and then you do it. Wait. That's what a drum roll's for. Imagine, you wait till the end of a drum roll. You don't go, and the winner is David.

David. I don't know if I can do it now. No, no. Take a breath. Take a breath. You can do it now No no take a breath No you can do it So wait for the drum roll And then give us your original meme Webmaster Trin's first original meme Girls brace yourself

It's crate day on Saturday And you'll be getting the you up text at 3pm Not am Oh she's done it. It's good. It's good. It's topical. It's factual. It's everything. It's everything.

If you want to show your support you can message us on the text machine 9696. Or just steal our meme. That's the highest honour any meme can ever get. The Edge will be lapping it up by tomorrow. Rock will want that for crate day. Oh, the Rock will be loving it. Horaki will enjoy it.

Come on in, everybody. It's a free-for-all. Good to see you, Trin. Have a great afternoon. Have a fantastic weekend. Enjoy your crate day. Oh, I will. If you have what could be considered a weird name,

prepared to be, oh, are we going to offend you? I don't know. There is a story out at the moment about a woman who is angry at an airline agent, which I assume is the people that, you know, you check in with them. You take them your passport, you check in. She believes this airline agent has unfairly mocked her daughter's name. So apparently the mum and the daughter were flying home.

They've walked up to get on to board the plane. The flight attendant has looked at her daughter's ticket, has seen the daughter's name and thought it was pretty funny. The daughter's name is Abacity, spelt A-B-C-D-E. Ab-C-D. Ab-C-D? Ab-C-D. Oh, yeah, not Ab-C-D.

Yeah. Ab-C-D. Ab-C-D. Ab-C-D. A-B-C-D-E. Now, the mum has kicked off and said it's unfair, it's bullying. You shouldn't do that to my five-year-old.

I should point out the kids are five. And no, you shouldn't make fun of a five-year-old. No, of course you shouldn't. But the mum is the one who gave her that name. The mum is the one who, when the kid was born, went, I'm going to give you a name that's going to make people go, oh, really? Is that a name?

It's a name that was going to make the kid stand out. Exactly. Let's be real. That's what it is. That's what the name was going to do. And you're stupid if you don't know that because not everyone is naming their kid the first five letters of the alphabet.

I don't think you should be allowed to name your kid the first five letters of the alphabet. There's a band in New Zealand called Elimino P. Yeah. Even they spell it. E-L-E-M-E-N-O-P. Oh, do they? Elimino P. It's a bit of fun.

They're not a kid. They're not going to have to have that on their driver's license. Imagine this person works in like, say they go and work at JB Hi-Fi or something and they're wearing a name badge and it's printed out. It would look like the labelling machine had an error.

And they would always get asked, is that your name? Is that your real name? They would, that poor kid would be getting that its whole life. If this, okay. Is there anyone listening at the moment who has that name? Because I've heard of it before and it could be rising in popularity. I actually was friends with a girl who worked at a childcare centre.

Yeah. And she looked after a girl that had that centre. Yeah. And she looked after a girl that had that name. Yeah. And we also laughed at it. And is that inappropriate? Does it have like, does it have cultural significance? You know what other name she saw? Were you born on Sesame Street?

You know what other name that she saw working in a childcare centre that she just couldn't help but laugh at? La Dasher. Spelled L-A dash A. Oh, as in the little... As in... The dash.

A dash. The Macron or whatever it is. Yes. La Dasher. Spell, yeah. So I would pronounce that name La. La. Yeah. But pronounced La Dasher. This is what yeah. So I would pronounce that name La'a. La'a.

Yeah. But pronounced Ladasha. This is what you're doing when you do that. You're trying to flex your creative muscle through the naming of your own child and then your kid has got to wear it for the rest of their life. So that's all it is. And weirdly, we've not had a single call from a person with the name Abbasidi.

So there you go. That's probably a good thing. Bree and Clint. We're going to do Birthday Banger next. Oh, there's plenty of absidees on the text machine. Is there really? No. I'm joking.

Bree and Clint on ZM. Right now, Birthday Banger. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Bree and Clint's Birthday Banger. Plus, if you play with us today, you're up for free mobile fuel for Fill Up Friday. Yeah, awesome.

How good's that? Thanks, mobile. Let's kick it off this afternoon with Mufasa. Hello. Hello. What's your birthday? 23rd May 1996. Okay, Mufasa, you were 16 in 2012 on the 23rd of May.

And on that day, this was number one. Flo Rida Whistle. Do you like that, Mufasa? Oh, nah, I thought it would be better. It's all right. Mufasa, real name, nickname? Yeah, real name. Real name. What a cool name.

It felt differently. And what year were you born? 1996. Were you named after, obviously, the movie? No, no. Oh, no. No, you weren't? Who were you named after?

It's just a coincidence, I reckon. Is it really? Yeah. Buzzy. Do you like the movie? Better than... Oh, yeah. Hey, Mufasa, better than being named Scar.

Oh, still better than ABCD, I reckon. No, I think that's an awesome name. Or Mufasa is, or ABCD. Mufasa. Name your kid Rafiki. Hi, Casey, welcome to the show. Hello. Casey, what's your birthday?

19th of September, 1993. Okay, Casey, you were 16 in 2009 on the 19th of September, and this is your birthday banger. Queen B, Beyonce. You like Beyonce? Oh, that's pretty good. Yeah, it's pretty good. Who doesn't like Beyonce?

Okay, it's going to be hard to beat, but we've got one more to do, and that's from you, Josh. Hi, Josh. Hello, Josh. Hello. What's your birthday? 27th of June, 1995. Okay, Josh, you were 16 in 2011. On the 27th of June and back in 2011, Josh, you were 16 in 2011.

On the 27th of June and back in 2011, this hit the top of the charts. Is this from 2011? 2011. Wow. Do you rate Adele, Josh? Yeah, yeah, very highly. Very highly. One of my mates reckons he was friends with Adele before she hit it big.

So he's an Aussie. He lived over in London and he lived in this small place and he reckons, this is what he claims, he reckons he used to go to this pub that she used to sing at all the time and he used to have darts with her out the back of the pub. Does she smoke? Yeah. Does she?

Oh my God. Adele. Yeah. Yeah, heavy smoker. I don't know if she is anymore, but she was. Right. Anyway, reckons he used to have darts with her all the time. Had her number.

We got the number out of his old phone once. Straight to like no tone. Right. So why are they not friends anymore? That's the bit that I always come back to with those stories. What happened that you guys stopped being friends? What song are we playing? What are we going to play for Birthday Banger?

Adele. We're going to play Adele? Well done, Josh. We're going to play you Birthday Banger right now. That's a Birthday Banger from Adele from the year 2011 for Josh. It's called Rolling in the Deep on ZM. Isn't it sad that we're not going to get any more Adele music?

I don't believe it. She said she's retired. Yeah, but I'm choosing not to believe that, you know, that's going to be the end. She's only like 26, 27? Yeah, 26, 27. You're bored. Well, maybe with all that money you wouldn't get bored, but.

She is honestly, I think, nearly the best live performance show I've ever been to. Yes, 100%. Incredible. So much talking, but you don't hold it against her. No, and she's so funny and she's interacting with like 100,000 people and it's like she's just talking to you. That's what I thought. You really bought it, didn't you?

Mate, whatever she was serving up, I bought every bit of it. Bree and Clint on ZM. Mate, whatever she was serving up, I bought every bit of it. I got a Facebook invite a couple of weeks ago and I only really read it the other day for what it was because I don't really take much notice of Facebook invites. Let's be real. Always someone plugging like a bar promo of some sort. There's always some crappy event. Some DJ gig.

Leave me alone. This one is quite interesting. That's why no one uses their Facebook calendar. Yeah. Because it's full of crap like that. Exactly. This one I found quite interesting. It's for a friend of mine's dog.

Oh. That's having a birthday. I love a dog birthday. And this one is a milestone for this dog. So the dog's name is Pebbles. It's a Cocker Spaniel Cross. Can you describe a Cocker Spaniel to me, the type of dog it is? Cocker Spaniel is like a medium-sized.

Dark? No, it comes in a few different colours. There's like the sandy colour and then it also comes in like a black. Are there any famous Cocker Spaniels? Can't say I know any. Okay, sweet, that's right. Anyway, the most interesting part about this birthday, not that it's for a dog, but it's Pebbles' 21st birthday.

No! Hang on, hang on. Human ears or dog ears? Human ears. Pebbles. I've just Googled a cocker spaniel. They've got big floppy ears. Yeah.

And they keep their hair on their belly long. Very cute. Little floor sweepers. So I did the math because they say, and I know that this isn't exact, but they always say one human year is equal to seven dog years. Okay. So on average

let's just say Pebbles technically 147 this year. Pebbles! He's blind. Can I just He's deaf. I've just googled them Life expectancy Yep Of Cocker Spaniels

12 to 15 years Wow So Pebbles has gone 25% further Than He is a cross Oh okay So usually means

Cross with what I'm not sure It just says a Cocker Spaniel cross Superman Yeah I don't know A vampire But wow What an achievement

Yeah wonderful And I hope you're attending That birthday party I mean it's back in Aussie I don't know. A vampire. But wow, what an achievement. Yeah, wonderful. And I hope you're attending that birthday party. I mean, it's back in Aussie. I don't know if I'm going to fly home. Yeah, but I don't mean to be a buzzkill. I'm not sure there's going to be a 22nd. Yeah, he's not going to make it for the next Christmas. No.

Well, he might. He might. He might. No, awesome. And I just thought, I'm trying to think back when I was a kid, and obviously a lot of people have a pet when they're younger and you have that one main pet in your life. Our main pet, her name was Bella.

She was a bullmastiff cross wolfhound. She was a 60 kilo. Yeah. Big dogs last less amount of time. Way less. Because their joints give out. Exactly right. She lived till she was 18.

Wow. Which was, I mean, the vet said to us, this is unheard of. Yeah. Which was crazy. Yeah. But she was very loved. My cats are three. Few years to go.

Hopefully. Some cats live for ages. Yeah, that's what I'm keen for. We've got an old cat person on the phone, actually. Hi, Maddie. Yep. How old's your cat? He is 17.

Wow. Well done. And is he deaf or blind or is he going well? No, he's right. It's right now. That's good. That's awesome. What's his name?

His name's Tezzy. He's named after the Tasmanian devil, like Looney Tunes. Tezzy. God, he is old. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, that's good. $800 at him.

We're looking for New Zealand's oldest living pet. We've got a good fish on the phone. I just want to tease that. Okay. Alice, don't go away because we need to hear about your fish. Oldest pet. It can be any type of pet. I'm interested. Maybe you've got a 95-year-old Tuatara. Give us a call.

Bree and Clint on ZM. Got invited to a birthday party, which is pretty special. This one's extra special. It's for Pebbles, the 21-year-old Cocker Spaniel Cross. 21-year-old dog. Going well. And worth a celebration.

Yeah, exactly right. Technically in dog years, 147. Did you say blind and deaf? Blind and deaf. So not going to be super aware of the party? No. But nice to celebrate. Good to celebrate. We're asking about your old pet. How old is your pet this

afternoon? Got a text here that said my cat died two days before its 21st birthday. No, that's bad. No, but he had a good run. 21. His name was Pepsi. Oh, cute. Let's go and talk to Alice. Hi, Alice. Hi, cute. Let's go and talk to Alice.

Hi, Alice. Hi, Alice. Hi. How old's your pet? You've got the old fish, right? Yeah, yeah. We don't actually know exactly how old it is because it was gifted to us, but we've had it about 10 years.

10 years? What kind of fish is it? It's a goldfish, but it's quite a big goldfish. Wait. You have a 10-year-old goldfish? At least. Are you Googling life expectancy of goldfish. Wait, you have a 10-year-old goldfish? At least. Are you googling life expectancy of goldfish? Yeah.

Because I know some fish can be very old. Like this snapper that you can put, big snapper, and they reckon they're about 60, 70 years old just off the coast. Yeah, but you wouldn't think a goldfish though. No. Okay, interesting. Five to 10 years. Which is interesting because they die so regularly.

So you're like, is that our neglect? It says here, in the fact, yeah, probably. Put some more effort into your goldfish. The oldest goldfish ever recorded was 43. Wow. Would you be sad when this fish dies, Alice? Well, it's been quite a big part of our life for a long time now. Would you still flush it down the toilet?

Not sure. I haven't thought that far ahead. Yeah. Well, that is the traditional burial for a goldfish. It is. So, let's talk to Sarah. You've got an old pet? Sarah? Sarah? Hi. How old's your pet?

It's not mine. It's my great auntie's, but he's 22. And what type of animal? He's a mine. It's my great auntie's, but he's 22. And what type of animal? He's a dog. A 22-year-old dog. That's a good effort. Do you know what type? A Jack Russell, I think.

Oh, those things are like the Energizer bunny. They are. Some spotty white thing. Yeah. I love Jack Russells. They're always so happy-go-lucky. Oh, some of them. Yeah, he's real healthy.

He's only got three legs now, though. Oh. That's a weird sentence. Yeah, he's real healthy. He's only got three legs now, though. Oh. That's a weird sentence. Thanks, Sarah. Hey, James. He's really healthy. He got run over by a car. What have you got?

Old pet, what have you got? Yeah, so my parents actually got a cat before I was born, and it was 22 years old. Died when I was late teens sort of thing. Wow. I actually looked up the Guinness World Record for the oldest cat is 30 years old, born in 86.

Wow. So wait, how old was your cat when it died? 22, so that's 146. Good effort. Cat years, decent. Very good effort. Before we go to our last one, Annalise, you're a vet nurse. I am. You've got an old cat story for us. Before we go to our last one, Annalise, you're a vet nurse. I am. You've got an old cat story for us.

I do. So my nana, so she is my great-grandmother. Yes. She's still alive, but her cat isn't. There's something in the water in that house. So her cat was 26 when it died. Whoa. Wow.

So the cat's name was Twinkle, and it certainly wasn't Twinkly by the end of it. No, did it have any eyes left by the end? I bet it was Wrinkly. So she had cataracts in both eyes, so she was blind. Yeah. And if you got too close to her, she would just lash out and bite you. Yeah. Yeah, so she was just a box of fluffies by the end.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She was batshit crazy. Your great-grandmother, did you say it was? Is she like, because you know how they say people from the Mediterranean live for ages

because they eat heaps of olives or something. Is there a special diet she had the cat on? Was the cat paleo? So I'm not even kidding when I say that the cat had custard for breakfast

and corned beef for dinner. I wouldn't die either. I'd be like, this is too good. Yeah, this is so good. Yeah, you can imagine me in like my vet nurse classes going,

oh, cats don't actually eat custard. Custard and corned beef. Yeah, but how good's custard though? Makes me wonder if grandma was also eating that food

or if she was slow cooking a corned beef just for the cat. Annalise said she's still kicking, so. Last one. Crystal, you got an old pet? Yeah, my partner's got a cow that's 27 years old.

Wow. Hang on, I'm just going to Google. Life expectancy of a cow. Not that long. I'm a dairy farmer. Really? So how long are they usually? My oldest cow on my farm, she's 16.

Okay. Life expectancy of cows, 18 to 22 years. There you go. I guess it depends how much you milk. I don't know anything about cows. Well, it depends if they're milking cows or not. Yeah. Well, don't milk a non-milker.

That's what I always say. But with my herd, don't milk the non-milkers. That's why you don't get milked anymore. Yeah, that's it. That's exactly it. Because you want to live longer, right? Thanks, Crystal. Good to talk to you.

Thanks, Crystal. Let's try and give away our last three Mumford & Sons double passes. Not that one. Not that one. You okay, mate? I'm okay. It's a Friday. I've got to say.

We had a few drinks last night. I've got an injury. You can't blame everything on your sore neck. Bree, I've got a broken neck, okay? Does that affect your hand? Yeah, they're connected. Everything is connected. Let's try again.

Let's give away some tickets. No, this one. Okay, now. Brian Clintz, Mumford or not? Great game, this. Very easy, too. We give you a couple of song titles and you tell us which one is not a Mumford & Sons song.

We've been dishing out the tickets like they've been going out of style. They're coming to play Western Springs, same place we had Friday Jams live. They'll be on the outer field on the 12th of January. And they're bringing a huge support act too, also featuring Leon Bridges, who's very cool. I love that venue, can I say? Western Springs? It's outside. They've made it a lot better.

They've made it really good. I like it. Let's go to our first contestant, Sarah. Hi, Sarah. Hi. You know how the game works? Have you heard it this week? Yes.

Oh, perfect. All right. Got to apologise. All the options today have been written by Bree. How dare you? So you can read them all, actually. Okay. I'm fine with that.

You do them all. Listen carefully, Sarah. One of these is not a Mumford & Sons song. All right, tell us which one. Is it Thistle and Weeds or I Need to Pee? Wait, here comes your timer. Sarah, I'm going to need an answer. The one that is not a Mumford & Sons song?

Yep. It is not I Need To Pee. I don't know how you've done it. Strange but true, Sarah. You're going to the show. We'll see you there. Nice work. Let's go to Tennille.

Hi, Tennille. Hello. Same deal, okay? Bree's going to give you two song options. You tell us which one is not a Mumford & Sons song. All right. All right, Tennille, here we go. Your two songs are Roll Away Your Stone or Roll Away Your Dignity.

Here we go. Yeah! Hopefully that was enough time for you to process those two song titles and now, Tennille, I'm going to need an answer. Is that Roll Away Your Dignity? We'll see you at Western Springs on Jan 12. Awesome, thank you. No worries.

One more. Alison. Hello. Because you're last, you're at a disadvantage because we're going to add a degree of difficulty to this one, okay? Oh, okay. I know, I know. It's just we've given them all away.

And usually when they say, oh, you can do three chances a day, the company expects you to fail with some of them. Yeah. So we've actually given away too many tickets. Shouldn't impact you, but it does, unfortunately. So yours is a little bit harder. All right. You get the hardest one we've had all unfortunately. So yours is a little bit harder. All right.

You get the hardest one we've had all week. Are you ready, Alison? Yes. All right, here we go. You need to tell me which song isn't a Mumford & Sons song. And wait, because you'll get the timer after. Hold on. Is it White Blank Page or... You wrote this.

Stick, hold your line. Yeah, I am. Page or... You wrote this. Stick... Hold your line. Yeah, I am. No, no, no. Not you, Alison. You're doing great. Is it white, black page or I wrote a porno about your mum? Oh, my God.

Here comes the timer. No, no, no, no, no, no. Alison. Alison. Alison, respect the timer, okay? Okay. Here we go. Now, Alison, I'm going to need an answer.

Which one isn't? No, you go now. Your turn now, Alison. I wrote a porno one. That's not a Muffin and Sons song. You're going to Muffin and Sons. What gave it away, Alison? What was the real tell in there?

Oh, Paul Noah, I think. Yeah, that'll be it. Okay, hey, congratulations. We can't wait to see you there. Thank you so much. Nice work, Alison. I got a message from someone who's in London, in the DMs. I got a DM on Instagram from someone in London

who's just seen this Delta show that Mumford & Sons are touring at the moment. They said it's incredible. Really? Yeah, they said that we're in for a real treat. So if you want to see it, the tickets are selling fast. You can get them from secretsounds.com. You know what's interesting is that the song's actually called It's a Real Mumford & Sons Song.

I wrote a porno about your dad. That's the one. That was the kicker. No, that was the one. That was it. Brie and Clint on ZM. Brie and Clint's Chat Roulette. This is Chat Roulette, where we take each other's phones

and we go into the contact list and we pick someone random to call off the other person's phone. Last week, I called someone you played representative football with. Yeah, Amy Chapman. She's a part of the Matildas Australian soccer team. She told us you've got a vast criminal record. She did go to a housewarming once and we didn't have a gift, so she filled up a gin bottle of water and gifted it to somebody.

So check the presents you get from her at Christmas time. Good when friends throw you under the bus, eh? There's no coming back from that. Yeah, well, you've got my phone today, so... Oh, you know who is a massive friend of the show? Who? That we haven't called before. Who?

Who you used to work with. Who? Guy Williams. Oh, yeah. Comedian Guy Williams. Yeah, cool guy. See what Guy's got to say. You met him at the Breakers game, eh?

He's so tall. And he has one of the biggest heads in New Zealand as well. Next time, have a look. Seriously, both in weight and circumference, that thing is massive. It is a big head. He's not very good at answering his phone. He's not? Yeah.

He has an iWatch, though, so his wrist should be vibrating. Hello? Guy Bloody Williams. It's Brie Thomasel. How are you, mate? Can't complain, can't complain. What's happening? Not much.

You're on the radio right now. I've got to tell you that. Wow. It's so exciting to be on the radio. What a privilege and an honour. Is it one of your first times being on the radio? Yeah. It's really nice.

Thank you so much for this opportunity. I appreciate it. No worries at all, Guy. Hey, we do this game on our show Where we get to randomly call someone out of each other's phones And Clint is here But he can't talk to you right now Oh

So I'm just over here He's just over there This is your opportunity Guy Williams Who used to work with Clint To tell maybe a fun story Or a

Okay I've got a Clint story. He got the biggest gig of his crappy radio career when he got to open up at, it was called like Deep Hard and Funky. It was this massive gig at Mount Smart Stadium. And he was so excited for it. For like six months, we were building up to this gig. We were teasing it on the radio. We were so excited about the big opportunity

when the time finally came Clint was booked on so early that no one could see him because the gates hadn't opened in time

and he played before anyone was in the stadium it was completely empty it was so it was so it was actually

more sad than funny to be honest but also also embarrassing for Clint. So that's my Clint embarrassing story. That's amazing. I had T-shirts made and everything. And he's got a small penis and he can't handle it.

All right, okay. All right, hang on. I already knew the other bit. No tour plugs. Cut them off. No, no. Cut them off. Plug your tour.

I'd love to hear about your tour. Where can we get tickets, Guy? Eventfinder.co.nz. Tonight I'm in Christchurch, and then next week I'm in Potadoa, Levin, Hutt Valley. Couldn't you book the big gigs, Guy? Can't I book the big ones? At least people are showing up for these ones. Really appreciate you coming on the show and doing our job for us.

Thanks, Guy Williams. I didn't even know I was coming on the show, but I enjoyed it. No, you did. Thank you very much. You did. Go along with it. Thanks, mate. Bye.

See you, Guy. Bye. So he rips me out for an embarrassing part of my past and then goes on to plug the fact that his career has gone to the lofty heights of the Hutt Valley Community Hall. At least his name is on the show. Brie and Clint on ZM. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the show. Very good friend of the show.

Massive fan of the show as well. Long-term friend of the show. It's Rita Ora! Hello! Woo! Hi! It's really good to talk to you again. And I say again because, well, you and I, we have a bit of shared history, Rita.

I don't know if you remember, but... Don't tell everybody. I know, girl. You and I... That was between us. Rita, he's been telling everyone on the station that last time you and him met, you fell in love with him. I've even grabbed a piece of audio that Clint doesn't know about. This is yesterday on our show, him talking about you.

Take a listen. I love Rita Ora. And I met, she was in love with me that time she met me. Oh, was she? We had that romantic moment. I need this. As if. All right.

I knew you were going to do this to me. I just need you to confirm because no one believes me. You're meant to be just us two. Yeah, and no one believes me. Yes, I do, but I told you to keep it a secret, but now here we are. So, yeah. We had that photo, and we're doing the interview on the couch. She doesn't remember, mate.

She does. She does. She's taken the piss. I tagged her on Instagram last night. She would have seen it. She's taken the piss out of you, mate. Yes, you did. Yeah.

See? My tags actually turned off on my Instagram. That's why. Well, now that it's cleared up, like we said, it's really great to be talking to you again. Yeah, so are you guys going to come to my tour next year? Are you bringing it to New Zealand? Are you bringing it to New Zealand?

Well, I'm going to have to, aren't I? Yeah, you're going to have to now. Was that it? You're going to have to drop that restraining order from Clint, though, after this chat. Just for one day. That's how we do it. One day every six to eight years. Your tour, though, after this chat. Just for one day. Just for one day. That's how we do it. One day every six to eight years. Your tour, though, were you meant to say that? Is it coming to New Zealand and we just stumbled upon a Rita Ora secret there?

Because we're keen. Wait, I need to look because that's in March and my brain is currently in, like, whatever month we're in. Because we're super keen. We've been hanging out for some Rita Ora. I'm definitely going to come and find you guys. Yeah, good. See? This is the kind of...

You're not helping his ego reader. I'm sorry. Hey, it was your birthday very recently, wasn't it? It was my birthday, yeah. We do a thing on our show, which we call Birthday Banger, where we take a look back at what was number one on your 16th birthday. Are you keen to know what was number one on your 16th birthday? That's genius.

Yes, please. I must know that. And we'll do a few different countries, so then you can pick your favorite one, and we'll play that song in full. Oh, my God. Okay. This is amazing.

You just need to give us your exact birth date, including the year, and then we'll put it into the computer and figure out what it is. It's the 26th of November, 1990. Okay, Rita Ora, you were 16 in 2006 on the 26th of November. And here in New Zealand, this was top of the charts. All I want you to do is be my love. Just Intimidate My Love.

Okay. Feelings, thoughts, emotions. Love it. Yeah, good. Okay. Feelings, thoughts, emotions. Love it. Yeah, good. Okay. What's my favorite song? That was number one in New Zealand, but what about in Aussie on the 26th of November 2006?

This is the Scissor Sisters. Yeah, also love. Also love, okay. Also a banger. Yeah. Let's go to where, Brie? Yeah, the UK Okay, this is number one in your home territory of the UK

Okay Take that and patience I think I know which one I'm going to pick Yeah, I hope it's not that one I want Justin Timberlake You want Justin Timberlake? Is that okay? That's totally fine

Of course it is We'll bring him with you when you come down for your secret show in March that you accidentally told us about. We're very excited.

Like I said, it's wonderful to be reunited with you. Can we just say we're absolutely fizzing for your brand new single Let You Love Me. We absolutely go nuts

for it every time I play it here in the studio. So thank you very much, Rita. Oh my God, thank you. Hey, we're about to play you a JT song, Rita Ora. We'll let you go. Love you. Okay.

Love you. Oh, no, Rita, no. I do love a study. Oh, yeah? When there's a study, it means it's actual real evidence. Oh, it depends on sample size, to be honest. No, no, it's actual real evidence. It depends on sample size, to be honest. No, it's legit. Or what about when a candy bar company commissions a study and it's like, this chocolate bar company has commissioned a study

that says chocolate is good for your teeth. It's like, okay, chocolate bar company, can I see the scientists? I'm going to choose to believe it. You know when they're telling me red wine's good for me? I'm choosing to believe it. There's a study that's been done estimating the average time human beings engage in that. Oh, oh. In a bit of late night play.

In horizontal communication. Exactly. Yes. So the average amount of time for how long that lasts when people are doing that. You know I'm very interested in this. I think everybody is. I'm sure a lot of people are interested in it. Because everybody wants to know if they're normal, right?

Exactly right. Or if they're an underachiever or an overachiever. And all of us are doing it, but then you don't really talk about it that often with mates, do you? And it's cool to brag about going. No one's going, man, I get my work done quick. How good? I am inefficient. It's literally one of nearly the only things where people don't want to be quicker.

You know what I mean? In every running race, I want to be fast. You know, cooking. Commute. Keep it short. Keep it short. This? Drag it out. Or should you? I want to know, cooking. Commute. Keep it short. Great, keep it short. This? Drag it out.

Or should you? I want to know the stats. So the way they've done the study is they've taken a bunch of people, 500 couples to be exact, from around the world. Good sample size. Yes. Oh, around the world. So around the world.

So this is all over. And they've gotten them to time themselves. There's some, like, Venezuelan love machines in there. Italianos. They're just like, have you got three days spare? Because I only do it in three-day periods. So apparently, yeah, they got them to time themselves during over a four-week period. So not just once.

So they got the average from all these couples. And then essentially they made a medium. God, that's awkward. Start on the stopwatch each time. I know. How strange. And stop the clock. And go.

Would make you want to race, right? Lap timer. All right, let's go again. Yeah, sorry. Okay, cool. Some of the results. One of the striking results that I took notice was the average across the board, it ranged from 33 seconds as the quickest to 44 minutes,

which isn't that long. Excuse me? 44 minutes? To be the longest out of 500 couples. 44 minutes? I'm just saying. Okay, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I'm not closer to the 33 second mark. Okay, I'm not even going to lie.

But 44 minutes, can I say 44 minutes is not a goal. I'm not looking to work up to that level. I'm expecting 44 minutes. Are you? Oh, at half an hour minimum. What? Yep. Half an hour? Half an hour minimum. What? Yep. Half an hour? Half an hour minimum. I'm not here to lie about it and stroke all

the dudes' egos. Guess what, guys? We like it to go longer than six minutes. Alright? Can I just say, not all of you. See? And this is where you're wrong. This is where girls have been lying to you. Anyway, so they've taken it all and they've done the average median time across all the couples.

Yeah, okay, cool. What do you think is right in the middle on the average? Oh, it's got to be 25 minutes. You'd think so, wouldn't you? Yeah. The average time. Actually, this is big enough. This deserves a drumroll.

Give me one second. Yeah, cool The average The average Length Length Of That activity Horizontal interaction Yes Is

5.4 minutes There you go Short and sweet Get to the point I'd rather not We've got a bone to pick with someone on the team. Someone here at the Bree and Clint show. Yeah.

You're here, Clint. I'm here. Producer Ben's here. Producer Ben is there. He's out in his little box. Hello, mate. Producer Ellie, not here today. No.

But she was here when this happened. Okay. One of the people actually here today, I feel like, betrayed me last night. Oh, I know what this is. It's me. Broke the friend code, Producer Ben. Did I? No, not you, mate.

You're in the clear. Our other friend here, Clinton Roberts. I'm going to tell this story, Ben. Yeah. And you tell me, Producer Ben, if you would have done the same. Okay. So last night we had some drinks It was a work function Everyone was having a couple of bevies

It was great Here at the Bree and Clint show Stuff happens behind the scenes We go on tour together And we always say What happens on tour Clint Stays on tour No not true

Not true It's the friend circle Not true because last time we went on tour You No, not true. Not true. It's the friend circle. Not true, because last time we went on tour, you made me do body shots and... Did I tell anyone about that? You put it on Instagram. I didn't put it on Instagram. It wasn't me.

It's true, you did. It was not me. No, but did I put it on Instagram? No, you didn't. No, I didn't break the friend code. Fine, yeah, cool. Last night, we were having this conversation at a work function.

The biggest boss to you and I comes over to us to have a conversation. We're having chats. It's all great. Yeah. My friend Clinton Roberts here, Ben, decides to tell a story that happened on tour. You know the type of stories I'm talking about. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Producer Ben.

Tour stories. Tour stories. And this story Was one particular story About me And we were out one night You got to know A Zilliam listener very well

Okay Alright Settle down You're doing it again Well you're dragging it out Well I'm just saying You ended up Yeah I told him

Telling In intricate detail Can I tell Can I tell you why I told him? Why? Because that story was more about me than it was about you. Oh, okay. So I thought I had the right to share it.

Sure. I did. Producer Ben. Because, because, because your night of fun wouldn't have happened. If it wasn't for Clinton. Without my help. That's true, actually. Who the bloody hell cares?

I set it up. I took your phone that night. I was messaging the person for you I did all the wordsmithing to arrange it Great Awesome And then you just got to reap the rewards Keep your bloody trap shut around the big boss What the hell mate

Look look Honestly all I want is an apology And that you won't do it again All I want is a thank you for that special night you had I've said thank you multiple times. I read a story this morning which I think might be the worst first date you'll ever hear about. Okay. So it's going viral on Twitter at the moment when one friend posted the text conversation she had with her other mate.

Sure. So her mate was the one that was on the date. Yes. And she's texted her and she said, oh my God, you would not believe what has just happened to me. Is she texting during the date? No. So this was just after.

Okay, cool. So she goes, tell me what's happened. She goes, anyway, met this guy guy we'd been chatting for a while and then we decided to meet up for a first date he told me wear a black dress and i'll surprise you i thought oh romantic he picked me up and everything was going well until we turned into the weirdest place ever, a crematorium. For a date? It gets worse. Who was being cremated?

The friend goes, oh, no, what happened? She said, we pull in and I said, oh, are we out of fuel? He goes, nah, I just really needed someone to come with me to this thing. Oh, is it a funeral? It's his. No, who? Not a family member. It's his nan's funeral. Oh, my God.

Anyway, the story gets worse. Yeah. She then goes on. The story gets worse. Yeah. She then goes on. This is her first date. This is the first time she's ever met him in person. What a dipshit. Sorry. Yeah.

First date. Yeah. They'd only been talking for a couple of weeks. Anyway, she goes, well, now I'm going to look like a bitch if I don't go to this thing. Like, she felt really awkward. She ended up going to this thing. Like she felt really awkward. She ended up going to this thing. Like the text message conversation goes on. She sat with him, held his hand while he cried, had to meet his entire family.

And then they kept calling her this other name. She then asked him who this other girl was and he said it was his ex-girlfriend that had broken up with him a couple of days ago. Yeah. So he just got another girlfriend and didn't tell his family that it was a different person? Yes. This guy's a psychopath.

What a psycho. The guy is a, he, like, even if he's not a psychopath, his decision-making faculties are severely impaired. If you think that's a good idea for a first date, what's his idea of a wedding? Seriously, what is he going to do for the birth of your first child? What's his idea of a good time? She said it ended, she didn't go to the wake.

She stayed for the whole service and then she called an Uber from the crematorium. Oh my God. The Uber picked her up. Just as Nan was being lowered down Into the flames of Mordor She goes Amazing I'm just gonna shoot My Uber's here

Yeah I'm just gonna go But call me Definitely call me