ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – October 15th 2020

Episode Date: October 15, 2020

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Hi everybody, today's podcast contains... Humping dogs! Yeah, that's what it is. And Viagra! And Bree's special naughty towel. What the hell? There's no such thing! Hello everybody, welcome to the Bree and Clint podcast, which today features the return of producer Anastasia. She's back everybody.

Hello everyone, it's great to be back. And she's COVID free. Not confirmed, but... Not confirmed? What are you doing here? Well no I haven't got the test back but I'm all good You're not meant to come in That's what the test is for you No this is a big joke I'll show you the text

Oh you got the text? So you're COVID free No one's had more COVID tests on this show I think Anastasia secretly likes it Oh yeah She was like oh yeah stick it in No that is banned You're not allowed to say that

What they stick it in your nostril You're not allowed to say that It's okay Anastasia and I are friends I'm going to say something which might be a bit controversial COVID is caused by 5G You did enjoy the test Don't say that on our podcast Did you like the test?

No I didn't like the test but I in no way have ever found any of the tests I've done painful Oh that's not controversial, that's brave No I actually think that that is a thing, people think that it's going to hurt but it's actually just uncomfortable It's because it looks so bad on the news

This is the worst thing the news did, was show how far that little stick goes into the nostril. Why would they do that? Don't show us. Don't show us. Because when you're a patient, you can't actually feel it. When you have it,

it feels like a long cotton bud, but not as long as it is, if that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you can't tell. Because I love putting a cotton bud in my ear. Yeah, that is nice. Oh, it's such a good feeling.

Just pushing all the earwax in. Why can't they take a COVID test that way? Because I'll putting a cotton bud in my ear. Yeah, that is nice. It's such a good feeling. Just pushing all the earwax in. Why can't they take a COVID test that way? Because I do take one every morning. Yeah, put it in my ear. I find them quite every day. Yeah, do it every day, yeah. I usually, I treat myself because they say it's quite, you know, it's not good to do it every day,

but I treat myself after I wash my hair and it's all wet inside. Yeah. See, I've seen all those ads someone joined in on this combo they'd be like what are they talking about i've got something controversial to say hello uh this might be controversial but i love a nose douche right i've only done one once and i was so congested that i had to do it am i able to google that yeah you can google it It's not a dirty thing

It's a bottle of warm Like saline solution And you squirt it up But you feel it go all the way up Into your sinuses You feel it go into them It cleans out your sinus They call it a

No I think they call it a nose douche No no There's something else they call it Yeah there's also other types of douches No But it goes right up into the Because your sinus Goes all the way up into your forehead There's a hollow space call it. Yeah, there's also other types of douches. No, not... But it goes right up into the... Because your sinus goes all the way up into your forehead.

Yeah. There's a hollow space on the top of your forehead. And it's all under your eyes, too. And it flushes it all out. I was so congested one time, and that's the only time I've done it. Holy shit. The amount of stuff that come out, it was insane. So the water goes in, and then they suck it back out?

No, no, no. No, it falls out your other nostril. Oh, you block one. And then you just squeeze it in, and eventually it's so full, it either comes out of the nostril or it comes out the back of your mouth. Yeah, which is pretty gross. I had to do it after I got punched in the face on a night out and literally just blood clot after blood clot.

That would have hurt so much. It was horrible. But to be honest, it actually felt good because I feel like all the pressure was relieved. Yeah. But do enjoy it. Yeah. If you're listening to this and you don't live in New Zealand, we've got no COVID, baby. No COVID.

Don't say that because it'll jinx us. Well, we've got a couple, but they're in managed isolation. So they're not in community. Not community transmission. No comtrans, as we say in the business And yeah we're bragging but that's because we're proud Yeah good on you mate But I get it

Not everyone is that privileged Some people are really doing it tough At the moment I get messages from some people And like it's horrible Like over in the UK They've been in lockdown for like 7 months And then like you've got people in Melbourne who are, ugh. And you've got a drunk idiot as a prime minister.

Yeah. It's not ideal. And then, I mean, don't get me started on America. But you know what I mean? Like, you look to your leaders in a time like this as a guidance on where to go. And Boris is up there flailing around, hasn't had a haircut since 2016. He's like, I have this under control. You don't even have your own haircut under control, let alone this pandemic.

How can we trust you? Yeah, so I'll stop bragging. I'm thinking of you guys over there. I hope they get it sorted soon. I hope this frigging vaccine isn't far away. Well, I don't know what's going on. It is far away, but I hope it's not too far away. Yeah. Because I've got to test it.

I've got to test it. I bet you they would have already been testing. I know, but they need to do enough and it needs to be found to be safe. Because imagine if they roll it out large scale. Oh, and then you really have a problem, yeah. And the whole world has the side effects. We shouldn't talk about this because I don't want to skip people on taking vaccines.

I mean, with how big a scale it is, they'll do everything necessary to have it ready before, obviously, they distribute. My mate just got a job at a testing, what do they call it? You know the testing ones where all the students go? You know where you do a clinical trial? Has he volunteered to be a clinical trial?

How much does he get paid? She's got a new job where she is obviously a recruiter because they need so many people for it Do you reckon you'd put your hand up for that? To be honest, before I moved up to Auckland, I was actually enrolled in one because it was really common as students

Women Viagra Sorry Anastasia Sorry No, that's not allowed either Sorry Anastasia Sorry No that's not allowed either Yeah I'd take it I literally A couple years ago

To see what it's like Have you ever seen that episode Of Sex and the City And she takes Viagra And like Wait was that Samantha Did you know That's the only episode

Of Sex and the City I've ever seen Really Yeah And Samantha takes it right Was that the movie Was that the movie No it wasn't It was an episode I would not watch the movie Hey the first one Only episode of Sex and the City I've ever seen. Really? Yeah. And Samantha takes it, right? Was it in the movie?

No, it wasn't in the movie. I would not watch the movie. Hey, the first one is awesome and the second one, well, let's not talk about that. Yeah. Awesome. The first one's great. Awesome. Yeah.

Like Shawshank Redemption, awesome. That's a good film, mate. Sex and the City is a very, very big part of a lot of people's lives. But the movies. The first one was good. Was it? I haven't seen it. It was unexpected what happened in it. It's very unexpected.

What about the one where they went to Dubai? That's what I just said. The second one, we don't like to talk about that one. The second one they just did because they got a lot of money from tourism Abu Dhabi. You can all agree that sequels are always very average. Some sequels are better than the original. Sequels are always horrible. But the first movie is great, I agree.

The first movie is really good. And I also think it gets quite deep and stuff where you don't really expect it to. Yes, it goes into quite a lot of different storylines and issues. Yeah, yeah. You're dealing with some Sex and the City fans over here. I know, I'm out of my territory, so I'll back off. As a guy who's admitted to watching one episode, I'll shut my uneducated mouth.

Yeah, but that's also very, I wonder if that's true, what they portray in that episode where she takes Viagra. Why don't you take some and find out? Should I do that for the show? Yep. I don't know if that's a good idea.

I'll look into it. How would I even get it? Go to the doctor? Right. And say, can I have some Viagra? No. Yeah. You just go look at Clint's toiletry room.

Cut, yeah, cut. Yes, got him, Anastasia, got him! No, no, that's cancelled too. Why can't I borrow some of yours? Because I need it. Fair enough. Is it expensive? Just give me one of your scripts.

Shut up. I'm just Googling it. You're Googling how much it expensive? Just give me one of your scripts. Shut up. I'm just Googling it. You're Googling how much it is? The FDA, who I assume is some group of doctors, hasn't approved Viagra itself for women to use. However, it has been prescribed off-label for women with a low sex drive. Oh, yeah. FDA is the Federal Drug Association. Yeah, that's right. I was going to say that

but I wasn't sure. It increases your sex drive. Yeah. Don't you take it. Pardon you. You don't know anything about me. We'd have to put you in the dog crate. I see you humping bloody stuff all over this office. We'd have to crate train you.

Shut up. I know that if Whitney needs to go in the crate and Brie also needs to go in the crate and Bree also needs to go in the crate. She's not humping a tripe hello. We'd be like, oh, no, she's been in the Viagra again. Speaking of Whitney, I caught her humping a towel. Already? She's only eight weeks old. I caught her humping a towel.

And she's a female. Huh? What? I'm like, oh, good girl. Yeah, get on it early. Oh, you found my special towel. I was like, is she humping a towel Yeah I was like Is she humping a towel I was like

You dropped that towel Like mother like daughter And then I snapped the towel in half See that Yeah There have been so many No Sorry there's a no

Yeah this is a dirty podcast Every time there's a Do I have to take all this out Or we just Nah This is one of those Disclaimer ones No that's fine

Yeah what do I do if she's already... I'll do a disclaimer. Does it need one? Just a quick one. Hi, everybody. Today's podcast contains... Humping dogs. Yeah, that's what it is.

And Viagra. And Bree's special naughty towel. What the hell? There's no such thing. We literally just talked about it. Yeah, you made it up. And you said it was snappable. Where did you get the idea from, Clint?

I have a wild imagination. Yeah, you grew up as a teenage boy once. Speaking of which, do you think anybody after watching American Pie had sex with a pie? I reckon yes. Absolutely. Did they have sex with a pie in that movie? Yeah, the main character did. That's the main thing that happens in the first movie

that's why it's called American Pie maybe you haven't seen it I've seen one of them they went to band camp no that's American Pie band camp no

they made like a hundred speaking of bad sequels they made a flute or something yeah that was a bad one oh yeah I've seen that one there's one time at band camp watch the first one

they're still making those movies by the way I know are they yeah they just keep on doing... Stifler's mum is actually stiff now. You can snap her in half.

Yeah. Um, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. All right. All right. I've got to go buy some Viagra. Yeah, the more I've researched it, by the way, it's apparently quite common for women with low sex drives... To take it.

I think we have to do a disclaimer here too. That doesn't go on the front. It just goes now. The Brian Clint Show is not licensed to give out medical advice. Anyone who wants to take female Viagra, please talk to your doctor. Yeah, that was smart. And can you lend me some if you end up getting some? I want to try it.

Yeah, and I'll give it a go too. Why not? Why can't we have a bit of fun? Clint will give it a go. You probably shouldn't give it a go. Hey. Give it a go. You probably shouldn't give it a go. Hey. Give it a go again. Let's get out of here, everybody.

Have a great podcast session. Bye. Hey, Google, what's the time? It's 3 p.m. Give or take a minute. Alexa, play ZM on iHeartRadio. Playing ZM on iHeartRadio. Playing ZM on iHeartRadio. Hey Siri, when are Brie and Clint on?

Brie and Clint are on air in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. G'day everybody, welcome to the show, it's Brie and Clint. G'day guys, is it Thursday? No idea. It's Thursday. I've stopped caring. You don't care anymore. It's too hard.

It's too hard and it's too depressing when you get excited about what day of the week. No, no, no, no, no. Hear me out. You get excited about what day of the week it might be and then you find out it's Tuesday. And all you're doing is setting yourself up for failure. Yeah, but what if it's Thursday? How good? Thursday good.

Thursday's awesome. This is what I do. I just show up. Just get up, show up. Don't turn the alarm off. If the alarm goes off, my wife will go, turn your alarm off. It's awesome. That's what I do. I just show up, just get up, show up. Don't turn the alarm off. If the alarm goes off, my wife will go, turn your alarm off. It's Saturday. I was going to say, that works until you turn up to work on a Saturday.

Well, yeah. No, she'll stop me at the border before I go to work. But then I come in here and if Ben goes, you need to go and record Friday, okay. Then I know it's Friday. Oh, that's how you can tell. You know what I did once? I was doing breakfast radio back in Aussie. And obviously doing breakfast radio, I had to be at work at 4.45 in the morning.

At the shake of a planet pulse's bell. Anyway, and then I would have a sleep every afternoon. So I'd come home and I'd sleep probably at like, you know, 2 o'clock. And I'd sleep till probably about 4 o'clock. Yeah. Have an afternoon nap. Anyway, this one day I was so out of it. I was so tired.

I went to sleep and I usually sleep on the couch. Yeah. Fell asleep in the afternoon. It was still light. Anyway, I woke up and it was dark. Yeah. That's a very jarring experience when that happens. I looked at the clock and it was 5.45. Freaked out and I drove all the

way to work because I thought it was 5.45 in the morning. Was it 5.45pm? At night time. And I get to work and the cleaner it was 5.45 in the morning. Was it 5.45pm? At night time. And I get to work and the cleaner was still there and he's like, what are you doing here? You're early. He's like, don't you do breakfast? And I was like, never mind. Well,

I've just checked. We've just had word from Ben. It is Thursday, isn't it? Yeah, mate. It's Thursday. Thursday. Alright, cool. Yeah, Thursday. We had to check with the producer. We've got that locked in. We've got Double Pass to go and see Benny up for grabs on the show today. If you want to go and see her at her Auckland show this Friday, be listening at four o'clock. Plus, if you've registered at ZM Online for the COVID rain check,

we could be calling you at five with some free money, thanks to Save My Bacon. Also, I've just realised what the plot is on the show today. We're playing for $450 of mobile fuel. I don't like Thursdays anymore. Right. They're too stressful. If you want to take Bree out, you can score yourself $450 today.

Don't put it like that. Well, today's the day. Listen to her. No, it's not. Today is not the day. She's down on confidence. No, I'm not. I'm a fighter.

Yeah, no. As Christina Aguilera once said. Really? I'm a fighter. Made you a little bit stronger. Yeah. Made you that much wiser. Really? I'm a fighter. Made you a little bit stronger. Yeah. Made you that much wiser. Thanks for making me a fighter.

Next, we're going to talk about fat pits. That's right. Is your pet on a diet? We'll ask you guys next. Brian Clint. He's Harry Styles. My bad. Brian Clint.

I want to talk about a dog for a second because I'm obsessed. Because you're a dog person. I am a dog lover. Not my a second because I'm obsessed. Because you're a dog person. I am a dog lover. Not my own dog because I have one now, but someone else's dog who's called Drax, which he's a rescue dog, which is very cute. And he was rescued outside of a shopping centre. This is a really sad story.

He was outside of the shopping centre looking quite scrawny, a bit underweight, and an Aussie woman found him and decided to take him home and give him a new forever home. That's lovely. Which is very cute. Anyway, her name's Charmaine, and she's had him for about two years, and she has spoiled him rotten. Right.

And when I say spoiled him rotten, she's spoiled him so much in the food department that Drax has gotten caught in the doggy door and he's ripped the doggy door out of the door. Holy crap. He's a big boy. I'm just looking at him now. Whoa. So the doggy door was like a section of the door. He's wearing the doggy door like a miniskirt.

Yeah. Like a tutu. So the doggy door was like a section of the door. He's wearing the doggy door like a miniskirt. Yeah, so she came home and he was running around the yard with this doggy door attached to his stomach. He might have been a stray once, but he looks like a healthy boy now. Doesn't he? Anyway. A little bit too healthy. She's decided that, you know, this is a sign that he's a little bit too well cared for

and maybe needs to pull back on the food. You can say that. He's a fat dog. He's a bit of a fatty. If Judith Collins saw this dog, she would say that dog is fat because he chose to be fat. Yeah. Well, not very fair because...

She'd say that dog needs to take responsibility for his own actions. That's what Judith would say. She would say it's not the taxpayer's job to bail that dog out of this dog door. Wouldn't she say it about the owner? Well, you'd hope so. Yeah, but, you know, who knows? Anyway, so he's gone on to a diet now and she's going to try and get his weight down a bit.

He's doing more exercise. I've never had to put an animal on a diet, but I imagine it's hard. Can you imagine how hard it would be? Yeah, psychologically hard for you too. Yeah. Because they wouldn't understand. They'd be like, you used to feed me and now why are you taking all my food away? Especially dogs too.

They would feel like they've done something wrong. Absolutely. Yeah. It'd be horrible. You used to give me beef. Why am I having a salad? I'm a dog. I hate salad.

I hate salad. I'm such a feeder already with my new puppy. I'm like, oh, you want a treat? Yeah. And then one turns into three. Yeah, oh, you want a treat? Yeah. And then one turns into three. When they do anything, eh? Oh, my God, you fell asleep. Wake up and have a treat.

Yeah, literally. We wanted to know from people, because we've never been through this, but have you been through it with your pet? Like you had to put your pet on a diet. Yeah, fat cats, fat dogs What about a bird? You don't put Really?

I don't know Can birds get fat? Rats can Rats can get fat Rats can get fat Can birds get fat? I guess if you're feeding your bird white bread Yeah

But just off seed, surely seed's paleo Surely you're good to go Yeah, seeds are healthy Yeah Can birds get abs? Seeds and nuts Yeah Have you ever looked at a bird's tongue? No

It's weird, eh? It's pointy, eh? Yeah, it's kind of like Well, it's got like a round edge on the top And it kind of like It kind of looks like a finger It's real bizarre Oh, 800DilesAtM

Have you put your pet on a diet before? Yes, you can call us now Or text us on 9696. We want to hear about the big boys and girls. Bree and Clint. A rescue dog by the name of Drax over in Aussie has made headlines today after his owner Charmaine put on social media that he had taken out the doggy door with his belly.

It didn't fit. The doggy door with his belly. It didn't fit. The doggy door came out of the door and he was running around with the frame around his stomach. That's the noise he made as he tried to pull his doggy downstairs through the door. Yeah, that's not a good time. Not a good time. None of it was fitting through. None of the back half of the dog made it through the door.

So she's decided after this episode that he has to go on a diet. Yeah, and rightly so, I think. Yeah, he could shed a few. Yeah. And he's not going to do it himself. He's not going to look in the mirror and go, jeez, I really need to cut back on the tux. You know?

Yeah. I might just have half a bowl of kibble today. Do you think animals have the ability to regulate? I reckon they don't. No, they just eat until they're sick. Yeah, especially if he's a former stray. He'd be like, I don't know where I'm getting my next meal from. I'm going to eat all of this.

So we want to know from you this afternoon, have you had to put an animal on a diet? Jill's called through. Hi, Jill. Hi, Jill. Hi. What happened to your, what kind of animal first, was it? It's a dog.

It's a Pomeranian toy poodle. Cute. Love it. Small dog. Yeah. Sorry, really a real small dog. Yep. Sorry, really real small dog, yep. Well, he was. How overweight? I'm not sure how much he put on,

but his girth probably doubled in weight during lockdown. Dog girth. Oh, no. Oh, he was a victim of lockdown. He was. He bought him eight. Did he do, um, did he do, he bought him eight, that's good. Did he do, like, an emergency stockpile where he went down to New World

and just bought all the biscuits because he wasn't sure if they were going to run out and then he spent the whole lockdown. That'd be it, right? Yeah. Yeah. I hope you've got the toilet paper to go with it. How is the diet going?

Are you getting the weight down? Yeah, no, weight's coming down, but it's named Avocado, so I think that's probably why he's got a food problem. Wait, you named it? I love that name. Does he like avocado? Loves avocado.

And he's like, it's a good fat. This is good fat. He goes, Mum, this is fine. Hi, Vanessa. Hi, Vanessa. Hi. What type of dog is it? Oh, animal, sorry, Vanessa.

Well, so it's not mine. About seven years ago, I worked at a vet clinic, and we had a cat that used to stay with us when the owners went on holiday. It wasn't allowed to go in an ordinary cattery because it would eat all the food. So they had to make it stay with us at the vet because it was on like a strict diet, strict walking and everything. He was huge. Oh, they couldn't. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. I was going to say, they couldn't. Yeah, sorry.

Yeah. I was going to say, a normal cat should be like four kilos. Yeah. He was 12. Oh. My Lord. Whoa. He was an awesome cat.

Yeah. Best personality ever. I think that's so cool. I met one in my neighborhood yesterday. His name is Daryl. I reckon he was about an eight or nine kilos. Daryl the Big Fatty. What was the name of this fatty that you were dealing with vanessa i can't remember it i think we just like

nicknamed him betty yeah yeah right 12 kilos yeah he was huge i'm pretty sure i put my um foot next to him and took a photo birds i've next girth. Next minute, Vanessa finds out that it's actually a cocker spaniel. People like the feeling of having an animal sleep on their chest. It's comforting. It's quite a heavy cat sleep. I don't know if you'd want a 12kg cat on your chest. It'd feel like you're getting pressed to death.

Yeah, it's quite a lot, isn't it? What about this text that came through? They said, we have a great Dane named Doug who was eating about one kilo of dog biscuits and a massive chunk roll each day. He's now on a diet to try and get him back

under 75 kilos. Under 75 kgs? That's me. That's me walking around. Finally, it's not a dog, it's not a cat. Taylor's got a story about an obese budgie. Hi, Taylor. Hi, how are you?

Good, thanks, Taylor. So it's true. Birds can actually get overweight. Apparently so. The vet told us that we had the first obese budgie that they had ever seen. What were you feeding it? Well, it was our first pet ever, and we put one of those, I don't know if you've seen them, the seed bells that are like healthy.

Yes, and they can just pick away at it. So he just kept picking away, and then we kept buying more, and then we took him to the vet because he wasn't eating anymore, and they told us that, yeah, he was obese and had to go on a diet. No more seed bells. Those things are meant to last a month, and he's having one a day. He was looking for it. He was having one a day on top of food.

Budgies are cute. Yeah, that's a good answer. He was super sweet. He used to talk and everything, but you could see him going, why? Why are you talking in past tense? What happened to the budgie? Why are you saying he was? Oh, sorry.

Yeah, so he was our first pet. I'm 29 now. So he passed away when he was like... I don't know if you know this clip, but they don't live as long as humans. Yeah, I thought maybe he was our first pet. I'm 29 now. So he passed away when he was like... I don't know if you know this clip, but they don't live as long as humans. Yeah, I thought maybe he had a cardiac arrest. That's what I was looking at. No, it wasn't because of the oak.

We got his weight down. Oh, good. Oh, good. Well, that's good news. Happy ending. Apart from the bit where the budgie died. Very happy ending. Bree and Clint from iHeartRadio.

This is... The Latest. Live from LA with Dean McCarthy. Dean, Kate Hudson has revealed that one of her on-screen romantic kisses wasn't so romantic. Yeah, or nice or memorable or even in her top ten things she's ever enjoyed doing. Here's what's gone down.

Kate Hudson, when she sat alongside Matthew McConaughey, one of the dreamiest dudes. I know. I've heard as well. You know, they did How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, which I love. They also did Fool's Gold, which no one loves. But here's the deal. She said when they would kiss, it was always really snotty.

Like boogers and slobbery. She's like, there was boogers all over his face. Anyway, I know. That's a snot. Anyway, I know. That's a brutal review. Yeah. I know. I know.

And he's such a good-looking dude. And you just think, couldn't you just suck it up? Lots of boogers. I take real offense to this because I've got real bad hay fever. So I have a snotty nose 24-7. So I've definitely felt the pain of Matthew McConaughey. That's how I know my wife loves me is because she still kisses me during hay fever season. Yeah, yeah, seven. So I've definitely felt the pain of Matthew McConaughey. That's how I know my wife loves me, is because she still kisses me during hay fever season. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I know and she knows that it's a little bit wet, but she just perseveres, you know? Me and my partner, we're always like, ooh, drippy nose. But if you're a professional kisser like Matthew McConaughey and you're on set and you're getting paid millions of dollars for this kiss with Kate Hudson, you take an antihistamine. You blow your nose. You do some nose douching. You do

whatever you need to do to make sure it's an enjoyable experience, especially for Kate Hudson. She's such a babe, you know? I'm going to watch How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days very differently now. Boogery kiss with Matthew McConaughey is not alright, alright, alright. I'd still

take it, to be honest. Same. Oh, indeed. Let's be real. That's the latest. It's brought to you by Panasonic. Their new true wireless earbuds with dual hybrid noise cancelling are in stores now. Bree and Clint. There is a certain type of food that New Zealanders are being told to be careful of because it is booming on the black market.

I know what this is. Do you? Yeah. Where's my black market music? That's what I was trying to get. Hey. Black market. I know this music.

This is from the Godfather. So apparently. It's a garlic bread. Is it a legal trade on not garlic bread? Is it a truffles? It's not truffles. Caviar. It's not caviar.

Rice. No, rice is cheap. Why would it be rice? I don't know. New Zealand black market trade of avocados. Not this again. Avocado growers in Northland say that avo bandits have been stealing avocados from their avocado trees and hocking them on the streets.

And they're saying you need to be careful because you need to know whether you're buying – it's like Blood Diamond. You need to know that your avocado was ethically sourced before you eat it. You know, this has been going on for a number of years now, these avocado bandits. Yeah. And they literally go around to farm. It's not funny either.

No, it's not funny to steal fruit from growers. It's actually horrible. My dad's a fruit grower, and they are some of the hardest working people. But this is what happens when foods get expensive. It creates a black market because you go, why would I steal cars when I can steal cardos? Why are they so like, why do they fluctuate so much? Like at one point in the

year they can be like $12 an avocado and then another time it's two for five. Well, I imagine it's because they're seasonal. We should just import some of those Mexican avocados in the down season. I don't know how fruit works. Avocado growers are warning you against buying black market avocados because you might be a bit gung-ho out there right now. How can you tell? And going, I don't give a damn where my avocado comes from.

You should. They say you should care because avocados have a pesticide spray on them. And what happens is they need to stay on the tree until that pesticide spray wears off. And the people who are stealing the avocados don't know which trees have had the spray on them for what length of time. So they're saying a black market avocado could kill you. So it's more an organic avocado then.

Waters. No, no, they're saying that the people stealing them might be stealing them at the peak of pesticide and the pesticide hasn't worn off yet. Oh, so you're eating pesticide. Yeah, you could be. I mean, avocados have got a skin. I was going to say, do you eat the skin?

Look, Brie, I'm just trying to give you a public service warning here, okay? Can you imagine, like, calling up your mate and going, hey, I've got this job. And your friend's like, Yes, wait, what is it? I want to do an avocado heist. It's so weird. One job.

Imagine being the dealer and you're texting your clients, you're like, Yo, I've got some green stuff. What we've got to do is, we've got to get all the boys together and we'll call it Avos 11. That's Benny on ZM. Soaked.

Her nationwide tour is on right now and she rounds it out this weekend at Auckland's Spark Arena, Friday and Saturday night. It's sold out. Is it? I'm pretty sure. Is it? Is out. Is it? I'm pretty sure. Is it? Is it? Is it? I thought you said that before.

I didn't say that. Oh. That's unconfirmed. I think it is. Go and try and buy tickets just in case it's not. I'll go try right now. Yes, so you can get to that

Friday and Saturday. We've got tickets to give away to the Friday night show at the moment. And for that, we thought we'd do a little competition that includes eggs, Benny. Because we've had a conversation today about what is the right way to eat eggs

benny. Of course, there's the classic eggs benny with bacon. And some people might not think of that as the classic. Some people might say, no, the classic is eggs benny and salmon. And then you chuck a third one in there today. I find out that producer Anastasia likes to eat an eggs benny with halloumi. I love eggs benny with halloumi. I didn't know eggs benny with halloumi was even a thing. You could make anything a thing if you just dream. So you just put halloumi on there and then pour the sauce on it?

Is that how? You put the eggs? No. Eggs and then halloumi and then? Maybe sometimes the halloumi is just on the side like the bacon is. The halloumi eggs benny. Yeah, right. Okay.

Well, to give these tickets away, this is what we're going to do. We've got Rachel on the phone. Hi, Rachel. Hello, Rachel. Hi. Don't tell us what eggs benny you like, okay? Yeah, keep that a secret. Okay.

Do you want me to tell you? No, don't tell us. Don't tell us. Don't tell us. 100% bacon. No, Rachel. Rachel. Rachel.

I just said don't tell us. We said it like four times. Oh, I just asked you. Yeah, and we said don't tell us. We said it like four times. Oh, I just asked you. Yeah, and we said don't tell us. I've changed my mind. I've changed my mind. No, no, no, no. We'll flip this around, okay?

Rachel, you're now the challenger. Quickly find out what Cara's answer is off air. Oh, yeah, good idea. Good idea. So, Rachel, you've now... Rachel, I can't believe you just did that. Someone else was going to try and guess. That's all right, Rachel.

We'll fix it. We'll fix it. So, now you're going to be the one who has to guess. You're going to have to guess the challenger's favourite type of eggs, Benny. Yeah. Okay. God, Rachel. Hello there, Rachel.

You're a bloody handful, aren't you? Okay. Now let's bring Kyra on. Kyra's here. Hi, Kyra. Hi, Kyra. Hi. Do not tell us what your favourite type of eggs, Benny, is.

Don't do it. It's a secret. Until we say, don't tell us. your favourite type of eggs Benny is. Don't do it. It's a secret. Until we say, don't tell us. Now, this is the dynamic. Kyra, you currently have the tickets to see Benny in Auckland this Friday night. They are yours at this stage. But if Rachel can guess what is your favourite type of eggs Benedict, then she will steal them off you.

Good. type of Eggs Benedict, then she will steal them off you. Sweet. So you have told our producers, off-air Kyra, which Eggs Benny you prefer. Rachel, all you have to do is tell us which one that is. There are three options to choose from. You can choose a bacon Eggs Benny, which we inadvertently found out is your favourite Eggs Benny. Yeah, when we told you not to tell us. A salmon eggs Benny.

What Bree calls the bougie Benny. I think it's the bougie Benny, yeah. Or you can choose the totes alternative babes halloumi eggs Benny. Which one does stranger Kyra prefer? Okay, can I kind of like ask you questions

to get to know her? You can ask her one question. Oh, one prefer. Okay, can I kind of like ask you questions to get to know her? You can ask her one question. Oh, one question. Okay. Kyra, how old are you? I'm 19. You're 19. She might be telling the truth.

She might be lying. I'm going to go bacon. You're going to go bacon. You want to lock in bacon as Kyra's over. Locking in bacon. Lock it going to go bacon. You want to lock in bacon as Kyra's over it. Are you locking in bacon? Lock it in. Are you sure? Yes.

Kyra, please, and this can't be rigged because we've already got it written on the screen. We found it out off air. Kyra, please reveal what your favourite type of eggs, Benny, for Benny is. Salmon. Sorry, Rachel. Sorry, Rachel. Sorry, Rachel.

All good. Thanks, guys. No worries. Kyra, you're going to see Benny this Friday night in Auckland. Congratulations. Thank you. Did you think she was going to guess it, Kyra? I kind of, yeah.

You pulled it through. Your salmon eggs, Benny, is one of the tickets. Nice work. There you go. If you want to be there, ticketmaster.co.nz for all the tickets to see Benny. This Friday or Saturday or anywhere else in the country, ZM Online has

all the Benny tour details. And all your local cafes to eat your eggs Benny. Kia ora, I'm Jane Yee. I'm Alex Casey. And I'm Duncan Grave. We're the hosts of The Real Pod and Confession Cam Time. We bloody love reality telly. If we sound like your type on paper,

join us each week for your fix of reality TV news, recaps and gossip. On The Real Pod, it's perfectly fine to like reality TV. It's a safe space, so let down your walls, wear your heart on your sleeve and remember, it is what it is. And what it is, is The Real Pod. Brought to you by the Spinoff Podcast Network and available wherever you get your pods.

Brie and Clint. Brie, there is a retreat. I'm going to say it's a retreat for sale in your native homeland, Queensland, Australia at the moment. Where is it? Hamilton Island? No, not Hamilton Island. The Wet Sundays. Not the Wet Sundays.

This retreat is in Noosa. I love Noosa. Can you explain the vibe of Noosa to us Koo-woos? Noosa has got a good vibe. A hasting street, which is the main street. You can eat breakfast on the beach, like with your feet in the sand. Is it a bit of a boomer's paradise though? Yeah.

It's where boomers go to retire, right? It is the fancier, more upmarket Sunshine Coast area. Got it, got it, got it. Well, there is currently a nudist retreat for sale. Is there? In Noosa. Yeah. This nudist retreat comes complete with Naked Beach.

Okay. Naked Yoga. It's got a naked gym. Or as they say, a nature gym. No, like I get it. When you say a nude retreat, everything's naked, right? Yeah, including the gym. I feel like that's a hazard.

The guy's like, spot me. That is a hazard. There's also a naked flying fox. You're right, I can just say flying fox. That's also a hazard. Yeah, but I could just say flying fox. It's a naked retreat. Everything is naked. There's also a naked flying fox. You're right, I can just say flying fox. That's also a hazard. Yeah, but I could just say flying fox. It's a naked retreat, everything is naked.

There's also a naked dining room. There's also a naked shower block. Where this gets interesting is it's for sale and obviously to sell it they need a real estate agent. And these two real estate agents from Queensland were like,

yeah, we'll sell this baby. We're the best agents for the job. And they showed up to the meeting with the client who wants to sell the nudist retreat in their real estate suits. Oh, they weren't naked. They weren't naked. And the guy goes, look, I'll take this meeting. But just so you know, the paperwork is not signed.

When you guys come back next time for meeting number two, I need you nude. Yeah. If I've learned anything from that episode of Friends with the big fat ugly guy, how Ross got the apartment was that he went over there naked. You gotta meet them on their terms. Yeah.

And he bonded with him. Yeah. It's like a sign of respect. Don't say bonded with him. Anyway, these two real estate agents go back for meeting number two and they've written about it and they said that rather than just show up and then hop out, get nude, put the clothes in the boot of the car,

one real estate agent got naked, got in the car, went around to the other real estate agent's house, picked him up naked and they drove to the listing naked. The reason for that was so that neither of them could back out of doing it so they couldn't get... Because once they're in the car and they're on the road there, they're like, we might as well just keep going and they can encourage each other.

Oh, please tell me they got pulled over. No, but they said, thank God we didn't get pulled over. Yeah. Can you imagine? Boo! Do you know how fast you... What is that? Never mind.

Is that a concealed weapon? Sir, please pull the park brake. Park brake! Park brake! It's not a concealed weapon. Anyway, they pull the park brake. Park brake! Park brake! It's not a concealed weapon. Anyway, they've got the listing. They went to the nude meeting, gained maximum respect, and yeah, they're selling a nudist retreat in Noosa. I find the idea of a nudist retreat or a nudist

beach in general fascinating. I've never been to one. Haven't you? No. You know there's two on Waiheke Island. I've heard that, yeah. I've always wanted to. Well, two in one other beach that isn't a nudist beach, but people go there naked anyway. It's being taken over by the nudes. Yep.

You know, when I first moved to a place near Sydney called the Central Coast, first move there was new, and I said to one of my colleagues, I was like, hey, where's some of the good beaches around here that I want to go check out some places this weekend? Anyway, she's like, there's this one beach. This is it. You need to go to this beach. Anyway, went there with my friend, turned up to this beach and there was no one there. I was like, this is amazing. Next minute, I turn around and I just see these two naked old men with their wangers

out and I was like, we've been stitched up here. Oh, it was a stitch up. They did it to you on purpose. Yeah, they sent us to a nudist beach. I want to know this afternoon on 0800 Dial ZM, have you ever been to a nudist beach? Is there anyone listening to us right now who has been to experience it? Been by accident?

Or do you just like to go? Or are you a nudist? Are you a nudist who likes listening to ZM? What's it like? What are nudist beaches in New Zealand like? My experience going clothed, you feel more awkward being there with clothes on, I think. Yeah, so did you rip it off the kini?

Absolutely not. I got the hell out of there. 0800 dial ZM. Or you can text us on 9696. Have you ever been to a nudist beach before? We'd love to know. Bree and Clint. There's a nudist beach before? We'd love to know. Bree and Clint. There's a nudist retreat for sale in Noosa, Queensland at the moment,

if that tickles your pickle. Wouldn't have said that. True, that's too descriptive, isn't it? You've got to be very careful tickling your pickle at a nudist retreat. We want to know this afternoon, because Bree's accidentally been to one. I've never been to one. I was stitched up. Yeah.

And I went there. And to be honest, you know what? It wasn't bad. Pretty, oh, wasn't it? Like, there wasn't that many people there. Yeah, just one old, one set of old balls. I did see a few things that I wouldn't normally see on a day-to-day basis. Yeah, right.

Very tanned. You broadened your own horizons. Great, great all over. No tan lines. Great all over tans. We want to know, have you been to a nudist beach before? Rachel's given us a call. Hi, Rach.

Hi, Rachel. Yes. Hi, how are you? Are you a nudist? No. No, definitely not. But you've been to a nudist beach? Yeah, yeah.

Well, we were over in Noosa a few years ago, and we were on a hike. We were doing some hiking. It was my husband, my son, and myself hiking up around Noosa Heads, and we accidentally came onto this nudist beach on the hike. This might be the one that we're talking about. Yeah.

It was such a beautiful beach. Absolutely gorgeous. Yeah. And how was the view? Yeah, how was the scenery? Well, yeah, the scenery was pretty good and then we came across the nudist ones and I was like, well, that's not too

bad. Oh, okay, alright. I came out and an old lady and I'm like, eww. A little spice up your afternoon? Oh, absolutely. And our son, and I keep saying like, where's the other one to come back? Come and have a look.

Yeah. But our son, he was like saying, like, where's the other one to come back? Come in and have a look at her. Yeah. But our son, he was like eight or nine at the time, and he was horrified. And he was just like, Mom, Dad, this is so inappropriate. He's like, Mom, Dad, we need to go. This beach has eels. Tony's here. Hi, Tony. Hi, Tony.

Hi. How are you? Good. Are you a nudist, or were you just browsing are you? Good. Are you a nudist or were you just browsing as well? I'm so not a nudist, but... But? I accidentally dropped my teenager son off to one. No. What do you mean you accidentally did that?

So I was going out. It was summertime here in Papamoa and he asked me if I could drop him off to the beach. I was like, yeah, no worries, hurry up, get in the car. And then, so I was going down Papamoa Beach Road and I was like, right, here you go, you can get out now because I just want to send him one of the roads just down from there and I said, oh, give me a ring when you're finished and

I get a phone call and I'm like, are you done? And he's like, no, you got me all sort of nervous, there's like these old guys with wrinkly balls. Oh, old guys and wrinkly balls. I was thinking your teenage son might have had the best day of his life. He thought that I had previously dropped him off.

I had no idea. Oh, he thought you'd sent him there for some kind of learning experience. You'd stitched him up. That's ruthless. Alex is here as well. Hi, Alex. G'day, Alex. Hey.

You've been to a nudist beach? No, I haven't. But I was in my grandparents' house one day going through some old photos of theirs. And there was one that popped up that was pretty explicit. Of grandparents anyway. Did you find out that your grandparents were nudists in the photo album? Yeah, well, so I text my auntie and was like,

Oh my God, I've just found this photo of my grandparents. well, so I texted my auntie and was like, oh my God, I've just found this photo of my grandparents. Like, what's going on? And she's like, oh yeah, they've always been noticed. Like, they're super open about it.

They do it all the time. Oh my God. And I was like, oh my gosh. Good for them. Yeah, my grandparents, they're like super proper people, so.

Yeah, right. So it was quite like out of character for them. Well, apparently not, but. Yeah, you just had no idea. Oh, that's fascinating.

I had no idea. There you go, and there was the evidence on film. I need to read out this one text. Someone texted her and they said, I went to a nude beach in Croatia many, many years ago, walked down the steps onto the rocks, and there was a very elderly German lady who decided to put on a bit of a show. I wasn't sure if I was gay before then, but I knew I was definitely gay after that.

It's always old people. Yeah, they love it. You're like nude beach, hot, naked people. No. No, it's all oldies. Yeah, they love it. And good for them. Feeling free, feeling fresh.

Feeling frisky. Yeah, and you never have that problem of sand getting stuck in your bathing suit. I've got a story for all the Uno players out there. Oh, Uno. Uno. Hey, you. Do you like fun? Then now is the time for fun with Uno.

Uno. Uno's a great guy. He is matching colors or numbers. You like going backwards? Throw reverse cards. No, we get it. No, we all know the game. You have to end up with one card and you have to say, and you have to get rid of

all your cards. Uno! Pretty simple game. No, you've got the main bet. You've got to yell Uno! Uno! Yeah. You have an American accent when you do it. I know because that kid does. Uno. Hey, you.

Do you like fun? Then now is the time. I want to ask a question real quick on the text machine. Text us 9696. If you play Uno or you've played it before, do you play the rule that you can stack a plus two, like pick up two, on top of a pick up two. I do.

Yeah, same. Because someone goes, ha-ha, pick up two, and you go, ha-ha, pick up four. And then do you stack a plus four on top of a plus four? Yeah. Yeah, we do as well. Yeah. It's the best feeling ever when you're like, ha-ha, pick up eight.

Because they think they got you. Yeah, exactly. And then, well, bam, I got you back. Snap. Yeah, 9696, do you play that as a rule? Is that a thing? Because the makers of Uno have caused a big ruckus on social media where they have confirmed on Twitter that players cannot stack plus two cards.

Says who? Says the makers of the game. Yeah, but who are they to tell me how to play Uno? This is the thing. When someone comes into a game that you've played for years, and sometimes it can be a cousin, sometimes it can be a friend of the family, and they tell you that you're playing it wrong,

you go, sorry. This is my household. This is our house. This is how I play. You're in our house, and when you're in our house, you play the way that we want to play. You play the house rules. Yeah.

It's the same time, like, when we talked about I got really into Monopoly Deal. And in my household, we play that you can play a just say no on top of a just say no on top of a just say no. Yeah. If you want to. I think so long as you establish the rules at the outset of a game. If everyone knows the same rules like that you're playing.

And the rules make sense, then who cares? Like someone's texted and they said, yeah, of course that's the rule, Brianne Clint. What a load of crap, Uno. I agree. But then someone else says, no, it's not Last Card. Well, yeah, okay.

No, it's not Last Card. What? You know the game Last Card? Yeah. Yeah. No. You don't know the game Last Card? Isn't that Uno?

No, Last Card's the card game, just with cards, like regular cards. Oh, no, I haven't played that game. I think Last Card is what Uno has its origins in. And then Uno just jazzed it up a bit. Just ripped that off. A little bit.

A little bit. A little bit. Yeah, but anyway, so I was a bit shocked at that, but I don't really care, to be honest. Uno! I'll keep playing the rules that I want to play. And do that in line There's no pressure on this

It's not a big deal at all Everyone's real relaxed No one's feeling stressed at all No one's tense Speak for yourself Once upon a time There was a girl She was smart

Debatable Talented Athletic There was a girl. She was smart. Debatable. Talented. Athletic. Not really. Picking a movie based on just the plot line? That she can do. Brie and Clint's What The Plot.

It's our movie guessing game where you go head to head with Bree to try and guess movies before she can get them and take home some free mobile fuel. Producer Ben, what is the most money we've ever played for in this game? What's Bree's record? I think $750. I think it was $750. Right. Yeah.

It was a devastating day. Yeah. Today we play for $450 of mobile fuel. Here to play you and watch the plot is Alice. Hi, Alice. G'day, Alice. Hi, guys. How are you?

Good, thank you. A bit nervous. How are you feeling? I've got this. Oh, no. Confidence is key. You'll normally find me yelling at the radio at this point. That's how the Wallabies took it to the All Blacks on the weekend.

Confidence is key, okay? Yep. Talk yourself into the weekend. Confidence is key, okay? Yep, yep. Talk yourself into the game. Okay, the theme for this week's game is highest grossing movies of a particular decade. I will give you the decade. Yeah, what decade? Actually, no, I won't give you the decade.

I won't because I don't want to give any clues. I want to keep it nice and fair. Okay. Pop quiz, this is for no points. What's the highest grossing movie of all time? Anyone know? The Titanic? Titanic's incorrect.

Do you know what it is, Alice? No. Highest grossing movie of all time is Avengers Endgame. Oh, yeah, of course. I did know that. Okay, here we go, guys. Three movies. First to get two movies correct takes out the game.

And if it's you, Alice Alice That $450 of mobile fuel Don't wait for me to finish the movie Your buzzer is your name Good luck to everybody Highest grossing movies of a particular decade All from the same decade Movie number one They are

The universe's best kept secret Brie Brie The universe's best kept secret. Brie. Brie. The universe's best kept secret. Is it the Men in Black? Men in Black is correct. Watch the new one with Chris Hemsworth in it literally last week. Never seen it.

Is it good? Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, right. He's really good. He's a great comedic actor. Yeah, okay. Never seen it. Is it good? Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, right. He's really good. He's a great comedic actor. Yeah, okay. Alice, you need this, okay? Yeah.

I need you to get this one, and I need you fast on your buzzer if you want to stay in the game. Movie number two. This film follows the adventures of a young heir. Unbeknownst to him, his uncle is plotting to usurp the throne by luring both father and son into a trap.

When his father... Alice. Hercules. Hercules is incorrect. Brie, would you like a free guess? Father and son into a trap. No, I need more. Nothing.

Okay, we'll keep going. Here we go. Where were we? Father and son into a trap. Uncle's trying to steal the throne, luring father and son into a trap. Brie. The Lion King.

The Lion King's correct. I knew that it was going to be a cartoon because it's so like, it throws you when you hear the plot of like the Lion King without talking about them as lions. It's Shakespeare. Oh my God, what a relief. Sorry, Alice.

Sorry, Alice, it's not to be this week, okay? Thank you, guys. There you go. I live to see another week. Lion King, by the way Grossed 312 million Wow Men in Black

250 million Was that the 2000s? No 90s 90s And our third movie Was going to be Titanic Which Grossed 600 million dollars

In the 90s Strap yourselves in For this next story Because a woman Has been doing the rounds on the internet after a video has gone viral of her rocking up at her husband's

wedding. A word? Ex-husband. She must have left him. No. They were still married. They weren't divorced. Apparently she heard or got wind from the neighbours after her husband had told her he was heading out of town for work,

but instead he was actually heading to the church to get married to another woman. How the frig? Yeah. Like... No, he's got three children to her. To his wife? Yeah, to his actual wife. Yeah. And she caught wind of this and she decided, no, I three children to her. To his wife? Yeah, to his actual wife.

Yeah. And she caught wind of this and she decided, no, I'm not having this. This is BS. I'm going to turn up at the wedding. Fair enough. Yeah, fair enough. And someone has captured it on video. Thank God.

And he's her confronting her husband and his new bride. That gasp from the crowd was like a movie. Yeah, you should see the crowd. When she yelled, this man is my husband, the whole crowd went... I feel bad for the new bride. Do you though? Because I've got details about that as well. Well, I assume she knew nothing. Who would marry a man who's already married?

Apparently, the bride was aware that he was married, but there's not all that much information. I think he might have told her that he was married, but he was separated. Surely. And getting a divorce. Surely. I've looked into it because I was like,

I wonder what happens after that, you know? Anyway, apparently, he was charged. He could be charged. He got taken down to the he was charged. He could be charged. He got taken down to the police station and he could be charged with bigamy and face up to seven years in jail. I guess it depends on whether he signed the wedding documents or not. Yeah. Because I wonder how, like, do you legally need to be married

to be committing bigamy? Which bigamy is when you take more than one, you marry more than one person. Yeah, so had he signed the documents yet, then he would be in big trouble. To be fair, he's going to be in the dog box either way. Absolutely. He might want to go to prison

to escape. What he's created on the outside. He's got two angry women in the real world. He's like, send me away, give me a life sentence. Lock me up. Exactly. What a moron. He's an idiot.

What a moron. I can't believe he told his actual wife that he's got three kids with that he was going away for a work trip. I just don't understand when your affair is that elaborate. I just don't believe that both parties can be ignorant to it. I feel like one of them has to be in on the secret. You know, one of them has to know, alright, I'm married

but you're my bit on the side. Yeah, right, for it to actually work. Yeah, for you to be able to cheat the system. Yeah, so his new bride knew. She knew. Yeah, right. That he was still married. Yeah, okay, yeah. Surely that's the only way it can work. Yeah, or else how would you juggle that? Otherwise, I honestly think

it would be like, you know in Mrs. Doubtfire when things start to get really complex when he's playing himself. That documentary about that guy who... You know the scene

at the restaurant where he has to do both? Yes. That's what I imagine it would be like. Yeah. Hello! Toodle-oo!

I love that movie. We want to know from you guys, has this horrible situation happened to you where you didn't know? Did you marry a married guy? No, no. Well, let's not go that far. I don't know if we'd get those stories.

But did you date someone and you found out later that they were actually married? Yeah, it wasn't your fault. Yeah, it wasn't your fault. Or maybe, you know, you were just seeing them or, like, casually dating and you found out later somehow that they were married. Yeah, it wasn't your fault. Yeah, it wasn't your fault or maybe you were just seeing them or casually dating and you found out later somehow that they were married. Yeah, someone's already texted us on this actually. Someone texted through and they said, my ex and I had a wedding and one year later he was arrested and faced a five year jail sentence for

bigamy. He and I split three years ago and our marriage was annulled. I thought he had had a divorce to his first wife. Apparently not. So she married a married guy? Yes, and he got done for it. Whoa. Crazy. Oh, 800 dials at M.

Let's see what we get. You can remain anonymous. Yeah, did you find out that they were married? Yeah. After things had happened. Yeah. Oh, 800 dials at M or you can text us on 9696. This is going to get very, very heated, I think.

There's a woman, a video of a woman who she turns up to her husband's wedding where he's marrying another woman. And she's like, you can't marry them. I'm still married to him. We've got three kids together. We're not divorced. We're not divorced. We're not separated. What the hell's going on?

She found out about the affair on the wedding day. Yes, on the day from neighbours. Ruthless. Yeah, he told her that he was going out of town for a work thing. So we want to know this afternoon, did you find out that they were married? Maybe you were dating them and then you're like, wait, are you married? Maybe you hooked up once or twice and then you found out that they were married. Maybe you were dating them and then you're like, wait, are you married? Maybe you hooked up once or twice and then you found out that they were married.

Or maybe you were engaged to marry them and you found out they were married. We've got some amazing texts as well. There's some really crazy texts. Let's start with, should we start with anonymous? Do we start with anonymous? Start with Richard, I think. Start with Richard. Okay, Richard, hi, welcome to the show.

Hi, Richard. Hey, guys. How are you? Good, thanks. What's the story? What happened? So I met a girl in a nightclub when we hit it off and dated for a couple of months. And then one night we were back at my place watching a movie and she turned to me and said, oh, I just need my husband to pick me up.

What? Just real casually? Just real casually, out of the blue. So was it an open relationship situation? No. No? No, not as far as I know, because a couple of weeks after that, I just lost all communication with her.

She just stopped texting. Did her husband come to your house? Were you terrified? I was a little bit cautious, yeah. I was like, oh, is he going to knock on my door? Yeah, how awkward are you, Richard, getting caught in the crossfire? Yeah, right? He's like, why is my wife at your house?

Richard's like, who are you? That is way too casual for me. Jennifer, was it you that found out? Sorry? Was it you that found out someone was married? Yes, the guy that I'd just married in Las Vegas, the whole time we were together, he said his sister was his sister and then I saw her in a restaurant one night.

He saw her, she saw him, and she said, that's my husband you're with. Who are you? What? So he said that his previous wife or his current wife was actually his sister. Turns out not. Was this a guy that you met in Vegas and married in Vegas? Is it like a whirlwind thing?

No. I met him in LA in California and I'd spent a few months with him and then we decided to get married and the whole time his sister was really his wife. Did you marry him? Yeah, I married him. What happened? And then you left him. I left LA and came back to Australia.

So I don't know what happened to him. I tried to get him charged with bigging me, but I don't know what happened. I just left. Yeah, sometimes it's easy just to wash your hands, eh? Yeah, just get out of there and not talk to him again. Yeah, especially when the guy's married to his sister. Yeah, that's for sure.

Let's get Ellie on. Hi, Ellie. Hi, Ellie. Hi. Who did you find out was married? Okay, so long story short, one of our best friends had a bit of an argument with her partner of eight years.

We thought he was a bit of a dick, decided to do a bit of digging, Facebook stalking, found out that he was married. He'd been married for seven years, had a six-year-old daughter. So one year into the relationship with our friend, he started a new relationship, married his new wife on our friend and his anniversary, and was lying to her about moving to New Zealand and starting a family for 12 years. That's a full double life.

No, it's a triple life, isn't it? Triple life. Yeah, like he was telling her they were engaged, they were going to move to New Zealand, start a family. He started a new relationship. Oh, my God, Ellie. And married the other woman. And, yeah, our friend doesn't speak to us anymore.

How much time did he have on his hands where he could be running the show? You wouldn't be able to hold down a full-time job. He was lying to our friend about what he did. She believed he worked as like an undercover police officer, which explained the long periods of time he couldn't contact her. Wow, he was definitely undercover. Yeah, undercover for something. That's fascinating.

And I feel so bad for your friend too. That would rock your whole world if you found out that an eight-year relationship had been a lie. Well, can you just imagine how guilty you would also feel? Like if I was someone and I found out... Yeah, because you're the other woman.

Yeah, I'd feel horrible. Especially if there was a kid involved. And it's not your fault. It's not their fault at all. If you didn't know. The last person wants to remain anonymous. Hello, Anonymous. Hi, Anonymous.

Hi, how are you? Good, thanks. Did you find out someone you were dating was married? Yeah, I was seeing a guy for about six months in my early 20s, and he lived in Melbourne and I lived in Sydney, and I used to fly down on weekends to see him, and toward the end of our relationship, I got off the plane in Melbourne and he greeted me

with a ring on his finger. He left the wedding ring on. He forgot to take it off. No. What did you say, Anonymous? I just asked him what was on his, like, what's that? And did he tell you straight up? Did he go, you've got me, I'm married?

No, he put his hands behind his back and slipped it off his finger. Brought his hands around and went, oh, I don't know what you're talking about. What do you mean? And then he had to go to the toilet because he would have shit himself. Yeah, right. Far out. Can you imagine? His whole stomach would have dropped into his pants.

Harry Houdini with the ring as well. Like that was going to work. It's a magic show. Before we get into Birthday Banger, I just want to read out this one text because we're talking about people when they found out someone they were dating was married. Yeah.

Someone texted through and they said, my mum was in a relationship with a man for eight months when her divorce money was paid out to her from my dad. This guy asked my mum for about $8,000. She gave it to him and then he fully gapped it and she never saw him again. We were watching Police 10-7 a few weeks later and bugger me dead, he was on the final part of the show

when they put up all the warrants for arrest pics. No way. He was wanted for four counts of fraud. Wow. Can you imagine sitting there watching it and going, isn't that down? He's Dirty John. He's Dirty John. You know that Netflix show Dirty John? Just doing the dirty on heaps of people.

Yeah, right. That sucks. You'll never get your eight grand back either. No. Bummer. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Free and clean. Birthday banger. Bugger me dead, that's my stepdad on Police 10-7. Bugger me dead, that's Darren.

Here we go. Birthday banger for a Thursday. We'll take three people's birthdays and we'll figure out what was number one on each of their 16th. Susan, hi. G'day, Sue. Hello. How are you? Good, thank you. That's very good.

Sue, what's your birthday? I'm very old. 29th of June, 1968. Not at all, Sue. We like these. You were 16 in 1984 on the 29th of June, 1968. Not at all, Sue. We like these. You were 16 in 1984 on the 29th of June. And here's your birthday banger. Banger, Susan.

There you go. Kenny Loggins. What do you think about that one, Susan? It's flipping awesome, isn't it? It is flipping awesome. I love it too. It's a great birthday, Megan. What year did you say it was?

1984. 1984. Okay, Susan, wait there. Let's do one for Sian. Hey, Sian. Hi, Sian. Hey. How you going?

Good, yourself? Yeah, not too bad. Sian, let's do your birthday, Megan. What's your birthday? December 11th, 2002. All right. You were 16 in 2018, so not all that long ago, on the 11th, 2002. All right, you were 16 in 2018, so not all that long ago on the 11th of December.

And a couple of years ago, this had a number one hit. Ariana Grande's breakup song, Thank U, Next. It's a banger. How good. Yeah, you like it? Good. Sometimes it's hard when you've got a recent a banger How good Yeah you like it Good Sometimes it's hard When you've got a Recent birthday banger

To truly appreciate Like it's But that song In however many years You'll be like Oh I love that song Yeah it's tough Because not all of them

Have become a classic yet Right Not yet We'll do one more for Jesse Hi Jesse G'day Jesse G'day Bree How you going

Good mate And Clint's here too Oh it's Clint there G'day Clint How are you bud Yeah? Good, mate. And Clint's here too. Oh, it's Clint there. G'day, Clint. How are you, bud? Yeah, good, man. How are you? Not a favourite to the mates.

I really snuck up on you there, didn't I? Jesse, I like your style. What's your birthday, mate? Oh, no, we've lost Jesse. No, I'm here. Oh, he's still there. I'm in. Thank you, mate.

December 31, 1990. New Year's Eve. You've made my afternoon. Jessie, you were 16 in 2006 on the 31st of December, so New Year's Eve, you're right. This was number one. Oh, fizzer. Perfect, actually.

You were winding Clint up quite a lot just then. You get Gwen Stefani winded up. That's a banger. It's not a banger. It's not a banger, it's a fizzani winded up. That's a banger. It's not a banger. It's a flizzer. Yeah, Jesse. What a banger.

You're a footloose man, aren't you, Jesse? Love it, love it. Yeah, definitely a footloose man. I do vote for footloose this afternoon. I think that's a winner of birthday banger. I nearly would have to go

with my mate Jesse. You're going to go with that song right there? Just because I like him so much. But I've got to go for footloose as well. Susan, a winner of Birthday Banger. I nearly would have to go with my mate Jesse. You're going to go with that song right there? Just because I like him so much but I've got to go for Footloose as well. Susan, you've won Birthday Banger.

Congratulations. Susan! Susan! Good effort. There we go. Yes, mate. Turn it up. This one's for you, Sue.

Susan, can we get a Lesh goal? A what? A Lesh goal. Lesh goal. Lesh goal. Lesh goal! Susan! Brian Clint, here his birthday banger. So hard, I'm plunging my car Later, forward

Oh, tell me what I got I've got this feeling That time's just holding me down I'll loop the ceiling Or else I'll tear up this town How you can see the world so terrible as time Tonight I gotta cut loose, foot loose Can't be done with the sudden disuse Please, Louise, pull me off of my leash

Jack, get back. Thank you. You don't even try You can die if you don't You can't lose, oh lose Kicked off the sudden Let's lose, oh we We're free Shake, shake before we Oh, my Oh, come on

Come on, let's go Lose, you're Lose, everybody Can't lose Come on, let's roll Go Blues, Go Blues Everybody can't put loose Go Go Go Go Go

Go We got to turn it around And put your feet on the ground We'll take the hold of All And put your feet on the ground Well, take the whole world I've done a little Footloose Kicked off the sun in their shoes Luis

Luis Pulled me up on my knees Jack, get back, come on, pull me back Lose your blues, everybody come for the lose For the lose, kick it up to Sunday Please, Louise, pull me up on my knees Bring her home, Kenny. I've seen my parents, Mama Di and Big Steve, do some weird dance moves to that song. Right, every single family wedding ever.

Oh, yeah. There's a great birthday banger. Kenny Loggins for Susan. I'm footloose. Bree and Clint. Who wants to go to Mars, baby? I feel like it would be a very long trip, and I'm not good on a long-haul flight as it is.

This is a long-haul flight. Yeah, how long would it take to get there? I'll get to that, actually. Elon Musk has come out and said he wants a manned crew on Mars by 2025, and he wants to do it with his company SpaceX. Well that's not very far away is it? He's ambitious man. He really is. He's a lot of things but you can't

say he is not ambitious. There's another group called Mars One. They also want to get people up there as soon as possible. They've already had 200,000 volunteers for the first flight to Mars. Yeah I bet. And people are so keen to go. I think they want to be like, you know back in the day, explorers?

Yeah, pioneers. The world has been discovered now. They want to be the first one. They want to be the Neil Armstrong, the Christopher Columbus. The Captain Cook. Yeah, right? So what I've got here is the criteria through which some of the questions they will ask the prospective astronauts.

I doubt I'm going to be able to go. It's a very specific type of person who can go on this flight. And this is not like what's your knowledge of aeronautics and things like that. Right, because I'm out with that stuff. These are more like personality traits and things like that. So let's run through this quiz and I'll put you through it and let's find out if you're a suitable candidate to go to Mars. Okay. First of all, let's gauge your expectation levels.

How long do you think the trip is to Mars? Judging from that movie that Matt Damon stars in, The Martian, I'm going to say it's two years. Round trip of three years. So I was close. Yeah. That's a long time. Well, you were close.

You were a whole year off. I mean, you know, give or take. Yeah, right. Okay. Okay. So three years. Is that round trip? Round close. Yeah. That's a long time. Well, you were close. You were a whole year off. I mean, you know, give or take. Yeah, right. Okay. Okay, so three years. Is that round trip? Round trip, yeah. Okay.

Second question. Are you comfortable being in a confined space with three other people for three years? I'm going to say probably those three people wouldn't be comfortable with me in a confined space. Exactly what I thought. There's one person you don't want to be in a confined space. Exactly what I thought. There's one person you don't want to be in a capsule with no windows that you can roll down.

It's Brie Thomasel. Yeah, I'm going to put my hand up and say that. You're a no on that one. This is one that gets me. Are you comfortable with constant machine noise? Because the spaceship you're on, there's going to be things working the whole time to produce your oxygen, to produce your energy,

to produce data, to communicate. And I can't sleep if the dishwasher's on, so it's a no from me. I feel like I'm a get used to. I could get used to that. You reckon? Yeah, but not if a clock is ticking. That I can't deal with. Yeah, right?

I hate that. Once you're on the trip, if you realise you can't get used to it, there's no turning around, so that's a biggie for me. The rest of these are more personality traits. And this will decide whether you're in or out. So this is what the astronauts need to know from the astronauts. Are you an anxious person? Brie Thomas.

Oh, this is making me anxious answering this question. So I'm going to say yes. That's a no from us. You're not suitable. Are you a moody person? I wouldn't say I'm moody. Yeah. Well, don't get moody with me.

Calm down. It's just a question. I'm not. All right. Are you a moody person? I would say no. Okay. Well, then, yeah, you pass that test.

Are you a tense person? Oh, I think if you're anxious, you pass that test. Are you a tense person? I think if you're anxious, you can be quite tense. Didn't your physiotherapist or your chiropractor say that your anxiety pulled part of your skeleton out of alignment? You were so tense. Yeah, my neck's real messed up. As you know from us too. From clenching.

The final question to figure out whether you are the right type of person to be one of the astronauts on the first manned mission to Mars, the red planet, and this is a biggie. Okay. Are you willing to die? That's an actual question. God, morbid. I thought you were going to say,

are you willing to fertilise food with your own poop or something? I was going to be like, yeah, I can get past that. Well, you're good with that one? I'd have to think about it. All right. Brian Clint. Guys, this is crazy, but I've got breaking news. This out of Bristol this afternoon,

a man has received a suspended jail term after breaking wind in the back of an Uber. Really? This is a true story. A 35-year-old man by the name of James Mallett let one rip as he was being driven to Chase's nightclub in Kingswood in Gloucestershire. And Uber driver Alexander Bonchev said he wasn't pleased

with the offensive action after they'd already been misbehaving in his Uber and he asked them to leave the Uber after the incident occurred. Fair enough. That's your Uber. Yeah. Anyway, push went to shove and they ended up in an altercation where the Uber driver ended up defending himself and there was a bit of a scuffle and a fight.

And he is now, yeah, has pleaded guilty to assault and he will be going to jail for six months. Okay, so he's going to jail for having a fight. He's not going to jail for doing a fart. No, but it was over the fart. No, but it was for the fight. Okay, so he's going to jail for having a fight. He's not going to jail for doing a fart. No, but it was over the fart. No, but it was for the fight. No, the fart started the fight. No, but it's the fight bit.

No, they said he was ordered to pay $650 in compensation. For the fart? For the fart. Yeah. And complete 120 hours of unpaid work. Right. And I thought, I need to get to the bottom of this. So to speak.

And I thought, I mean, how bad could it have been? We actually cross live now to producer Ben who has the audio that was played in the courtroom. Let's take a listen. No, I believe that was a fair sentence. You're so predictable. You are so predictable. A bit of a sad story, this next one.

A woman has called off her engagement with her fiancé. Oh, no. Yeah, which is quite sad. And you probably don't remember this, Clint, but we actually spoke about this very engagement on our show a couple of years ago. Did we? Yes, we did. This woman, she made headlines with her engagement to her fiancé.

Yeah. And I've actually got the clip that we played on the show a couple of years ago when she talked about getting engaged. Take a listen. Once you go ghost, you never go back. Pretty much, yes. Is that right? It is, yes.

You are happy now. This is for you, the way you want your life to be. Dearly, I'd like to find one that I would like to settle down with and spend the rest of my life with. But, yeah, I'll never go back to men. Waiting for Mr Right. Oh, it's amazing. Is that the woman who was sleeping with the pirate ghost?

That's correct. Yeah, right. I don't know if it was a pirate ghost. That might have been some other woman. But this woman has been having relations with ghosts. Plural. Yeah. Multiple different men ghosts.

Gorgies. And she gave up men, like real life men, and she's just been having... She's exclusively ghost. Yeah. Anyway, she... Actually, let's play the clip. Let's play the third clip first. Okay.

This is her talking about some of the relationships she's had with... With ghosts. And then just as I'd given up hope and was starting to fall asleep, it came to me and... And what happened? I don't know what I can say on TV. Well, you just had sex. Wait. You had sex? Yeah, I had sex with the ghost. And what happened? I don't know what I can say on TV. Well, you did have sex. Wait.

You had sex? Yeah, I had sex with a ghost. With a ghost? Yes. I mean, she does it all. And, you know. I've heard of women say that it was like having sex with a ghost. Didn't Kesha say at one point that she did?

Yes, she did. She did, didn't she? I was more meaning. Oh, gotcha, gotcha. Were you even here? That, yeah. Yeah, right gotcha, gotcha. Were you even here? That, yeah. Yeah, right. Gotcha, gotcha.

Is it? No, I've said enough. Is it? Is it? Casper? Is your name Casper? Anyway, this woman, there's an update on her because the last time

we spoke about her, she was looking for love. Yes. And very exciting. She found the ghost of her dreams. Fantastic. And they got engaged, which is exciting. She found the ghost of her dreams. Fantastic. And they got engaged, which is exciting. Yes.

Who proposed? I don't know. I'm not sure who proposed. Was there a ring? There wasn't a ring. Apparently they wanted to pick it out together. Right, okay. Not for his finger, I hope.

No, for his. He'd be losing it all the time. It would be a waste because you'd lose it. But a turn of events. Unfortunately, the relationship has broken down and the wedding is off. Take a listen. So now we've called the wedding off. It was going really well until we went on holiday.

That was about last May. And then he just completely changed. In what way? So I think maybe he fell in with a bad crowd when we were on holiday. That was about last May. And then he just completely changed. In what way? So I think maybe he fell in with a bad crowd when we were on holiday. He'd disappear for long periods of time. When he did come back, he'd bring other spirits back to the house and they'd just stay around for days. I love how, like, the ghost, the problem she has with ghosts

are the same problems, like, women have with real life men. He disappeared. She got ghosted by a ghost. She got ghosted by a ghost. She got ghosted. Ghosts. So true. Our apologies go out to the bride or whatever. ZM's Free and Clint.

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