ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – September 24th 2018

Episode Date: September 24, 2018

What the most annoying song?We finally hear from our BixsexualorBridezillaBirthday Banger!Are you in a relationship but NEVER met them?Biggest cheaterCensoring BreeWhat goes in a ‘She Shed’?Dating nightmaresSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM! ZM! Let's go, go, go! Now let me see you dance! ZM's Brie and Clint! Good afternoon New Zealand, Brie and Clint here. How are you mate? Good mate, how are you? Good. How's that Tiger Woods news that everyone's celebrating? He's back baby! Tiger Woods is back! I actually watched that. I hate watching golf. And I watched this. I watched him win today. Are we happy for Tiger?

First time since 2013 he's won a major. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't have anything against the guy. Don't you? I get what he did was horrible, but, you know, I'm not going to spread hate about him. No.

Well, no, it's all out there. I watched his girlfriend was the first one to run over and hug him today. And I was watching that on the golf. I was like, you've got to be a thick-skinned woman to want to be Tiger Woods' girlfriend, right? Oh, there'd be people coming after him left, right and centre. Well, I don't

reckon that. I reckon of anybody, he's probably the least likely to cheat now because there's so much focus on him. Because he knows he can't get away with it, yeah. But every woman in the world would be giving you their opinion like, are you sure you want to be with Tiger Woods? He seriously, he is... He is very rich.

He is very rich. Anyway, he's back. Speaking of dating, we've got someone to further introduce you to today. I'm calling it a social movement, the bisexualer. We've launched it. We have found her.

And we're going to have your first real taste of The Bisexualer. What her type is. Yes. Who she is. Yes. And more information all wrapped into one just after... At 4.30. 4.30, around 4.30.

Yeah, 4.30 we'll have that on. This is exciting. We've spent a lot of time with her today. She's very cool. She, round 4.30. Yeah, 4.30, we'll have that on. This is exciting. We've spent a lot of time with her today. She's very cool. She's very cool. If you're listening right now and you think, hmm, I wouldn't mind dating her, you can. You can sign up right now at ZM Online

or you can head to our Facebook page and head to the first post at the top of the page. The link is right there to sign up. Yeah, or if you need a little bit more of her before you make your mind up, 4.30, like we said. Next, though, I want you to think about what is the most annoying song in the world? Okay?

Baby Shark. Well, how long could you hear that for? Anyway, I'll tell you why after Imagine Dragons. This is Thunder. Bree and Clint. ZM. ZM's Bree and Clint. I want you to think about how long you could listen

to the same song over and over and over. That's like torture. And over. There's a British DJ who's planning an event to raise money for an African charity. And to do it, he's going to play this song back to back to back for five hours straight. This song right here.

Toto Africa. Oh. Very, very popular. So he's not a radio DJ. He's a club DJ. So it's like a club night. And in the club, this song, over and over. I mean, I love this song.

But by the time you hear it for four hours straight, five hours straight, you're going to be over it Any song I think, that many times Great idea though, and I see what he's done, he's gone Oh Africa, I'll play Toto Africa We did a similar thing back when I was in high school Where we were raising money and we called it Stop the Bop Yeah

And we played Mbop by Hanson every lunch hour until we raised 10 grand I would rather hear this than Hanson and Bob. Same here. That high-pitched whine. It didn't last very long. We raised the money very quickly. One very famous person has come out and said that this Toto Africa idea is stupid.

His name is Steve Lukather. He wrote the song. Oh, God. He's in Toto. And he's tweeted about this. He said, this could be worse than waterboarding. Lol. Well, obviously, he would have heard it probably more than nearly anyone in their lifetime.

He said, honestly, WTF is going on with this tune. It's been great for us in many years, but we recorded this as a deep cut track in 1981. We had no idea what it would become. Yeah, it just keeps resurfacing, doesn't it? He said, you think you're sick of this song. Try being us. So isn't that interesting? Even Toto, who are coming to New Zealand,

they're coming shortly actually. They're doing a gig in New Zealand. Even Toto hate Africa. Doesn't surprise me. A lot of artists like that, they're number one selling hits because they have to do it so much. Yeah. Doesn't surprise me. A lot of artists like that, they're number one selling hits because they have to do it so much. Yeah.

They're over it. Do you reckon Lorde still enjoys playing Royals? Probably not. Probably not, right? I still enjoy it. But she couldn't do a gig without playing it. No, because everyone would be like, what the hell, Lorde? Play Royals.

That's the song that we came for. What do you think this is? Yeah. So this song, Five Hours. It's a great way to empty a club because that's the thing too. People don't have to stay. They can get two and a half hours in the fundraiser and they go, oh no, I actually stuffed this.

I'm out. I've had enough. I'm out. I've heard this song 93 times now. It could be worse. How? There's a lot more annoying songs than this. What is the most annoying song in the world? Like what would be the worst song for you to have to hear

for five hours over and over and over? Do you remember a show on TV? I think it was called Lamb Chops. Oh, are you talking about the song that doesn't end? I'm talking about this song. Not that. No, not that one. You're talking about this song.

Because this is the song that doesn't end. Oh, no. Yes, it goes on and on, my friend. That's enough, guys. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was. And they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end. Yeah, the awful thing about that is you have no idea where it starts or finishes. Very similar to this song.

I don't think anyone except maybe parents know how truly annoying this song is yet. I think it's still too new for people to actually understand. Let's share a thought for all the parents right now that have to play that song at the moment over and over and over again. And have we just reminded the kids that they like the song

and now they're going to listen to it for the rest of the afternoon. It is kind of catchy. I'll wait $100 at the end of this afternoon. Real easy. What's the most annoying song in the world? Do-do-grandpa shark. This is going to be the most annoying bit of radio

for the next hour. Oh, yeah, because we're going to play them too. Yeah, we're going to play them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Call now 0800 dial ZM. What is the most annoying song in the world? Or you can text us on 9696. ZDM's Bree and Clint.

We're asking you this afternoon, what's the most annoying song in the world? Someone's going to play Toto Africa for five hours non-stop, which I don't actually think is that bad. I think of all the songs you could have chosen. It's a tune. It's quite good. It's a good bop.

I mean, I probably hate the living hell out of it by the fourth hour, but there are worse. There are songs you would hate by the second listen. There's songs in radio which we hate because we play so damn much. Oh, here's a fun exercise. This will be like a bonding thing for us. Say the song that... Are you ready?

On the count of three, you and I will say the song that we hate the most playing on this show. Artist and then song. Okay. Hold on, hold on, wait, hold on. So artist first and then song. Okay, ready? And we haven't rehearsed this. On one? Yes, we'll go three, two, one, then say it. Okay. Oh, I hope on, hold on. So artist first and then song. Okay, ready? And we haven't rehearsed this. On one?

Yes, we'll go three, two, one, then say it. Okay. Oh, I hope we say the same thing. Three, two, one. Ed, Sharon, happier. Oh my God, did we just become best friends? I think so. Do you want to go do karate in the garage?

So we're asking you on 0800DALZM, what is the most annoying song in the world? Tiara. My most hated song is Let It Go. Tiara, let me ask, are you a parent? Yes. I can imagine, Tiara. Have a rough guess at how many times you think you've heard this song.

Too many. I just had the frozen DVD so that my four-year-old wouldn't put it on. You microwaved the DVD. Yeah that my four-year-old wouldn't put it on. You microwaved the DVD? Yeah, you did. I love that. You are some parent's hero this afternoon. Harry, what's the most annoying song in the whole world? Oh, Rebecca Black's Friday.

What do you think it is? Is it the lyrical content or is it the pitch of her voice? I reckon lyrics because I reckon it took her about five minutes to write. She made millions off it. I'm like jealous as hell. That song went absolutely ballistic on YouTube. She made a lot of money out of that. You know she's doing music now?

She was on a singing show and she sounds a whole lot better than that. Does she really? Yeah, she actually sounds way better now. She got on that Katy Perry music video. Did she? Yeah. Harry, how much would we have to pay you

to listen to Rebecca Black Friday for five hours straight? For five hours? I'd say like a grand. Is that all? Oh my God. Can we make that happen? Harry, stay there.

Hang on. We're going to get your details. We'll organise that. Wow. That's going to happen. That's happening, Harry. Why would you do that?

A lot of text coming in for this song. So you thought this song disappeared three... Sorry to talk over the good bit. I have a pen. So you thought this song disappeared three... Apple pen. Sorry to talk over the good bit. There is one song, though, that we've received more than any other song, which is definitely... This is literally the top vote on the text machine this afternoon for the most annoying song.

Michaela, what's the most annoying song in the world? Crazy Frog. What's going on? It's kind of catchy, though. I think you hit the nail on the head there. Hey. Michaela, Harry's going to listen to Rebecca Black Friday for five hours for a grand. How much for you to do five hours of Crazy Frog?

Dude, I'd do one hour for ten grand. I'll just be on the handle of it. All right. I kind of like it. Is that weird? Okay, no, I don't like it anymore. Yeah, okay. Z is Brie and Clint.

Let's talk bisexual-er. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't like it anymore. Yeah, okay. Z is Brie and Clint. Let's talk bisexual-er. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Brie and Clint present the bisexual-er. This is super exciting. We've found her. It is a woman. Yes. She's locked in.

We've found the bisexual-er. She is the person who will date six people of our choosing, three guys and three girls. We're matchmakers. Yeah, we're officially matchmakers. We have people's love lives in our hands. We could create a... Oh my God, we could create a marriage.

We could create a baby. Okay, too far. Me and you. Well, we could. Technically, we could. Technically, I'm a man. Oh, I'm a... What?

You alright? I don't even know. I went out last night. I was going to say, you're a man, I'm a woman, I've got a womb, we could do it. Alright, okay, okay. Alright, look, so we have found her. You do not know much about her yet

because we haven't really released anything about her. We're about to release a little bit more about who the bisexualer is. Before then though, what do the people look like who have signed up to date her without knowing anything about her? Yeah, so it's interesting to see the people that are signing up without even knowing hardly anything about this person.

We've got a lot of bisexual women. Yes. Some straight guys. Yes. Only one lesbian. Okay. Which is interesting. Yeah, why do you think that is?

I don't know. I'm not sure. Do we have more bisexual women or more single men? It's about an even split. About an even split. But you can be whatever to sign up for this. We have a refining process that we will need to go through because we obviously need to pick the six people we think fit with her the best

with what she's looking for. So people will get cut from this through no fault of their own just because we don't believe they're the right type. A good match. We are actually trying to match these people. If you think you'd be a good match, you need to head to our Facebook page. The bisexual thing is right at the top.

You can sign up right now. Here's a little bit more about her though. We're still not going to release her name, so you can't stalk her just yet. Not yet. Maybe you're going to recognise her voice. This is what... Oh, my God.

Yeah. People could know her right now. Yes. You could be listening to the radio right now and go, I know that person. Yeah, and maybe that means you want to date them because they're on this competition. This is what the bisexualer is looking for. Well, a little bit about what they're looking for in their dates.

I've never really been a picky person. It's more or less someone that I can get along with really well and we really gel together. I've been with more guys than girls, so my first sexual encounter with a woman was probably a year, year and a half ago. We already knew each other, I guess, is how it happened. I don't think anyone's ever asked me these questions before.

So I'm kind of nervous about it, but it's all good. I've never had a proper relationship with a woman before. When it comes to women, my favourite feature would be their smile and their eyes. My favourite physical feature about men is probably their backs. I don't really know, like not too muscly, but like not muscly. Not gonna lie, I'm actually pretty scared or worried because I'm just Brie and Clint,

but I feel pretty confident that they'll make the right choice on who to pick and like who to match me with. That's our girl. That's our bisexualer, everybody. God, I'm weirdly defensive of her already. Me too. Like I want to find her the right person.

Oh my God, is this how parents feel when their kids bring home someone? I'm going to be so protective of her. I don't think parents are looking for six people to date their daughter at the same time. What do you mean? You obviously haven't grown up in an Italian family like I have. What do we know about her? If you're a man, you need to have a

back. If you're a woman, you need to have eyes. And a mouth. That's basically it. And a mouth. It's pretty easy. If you fit the profile of someone who wants to date our bisexualer, who by the way will be fully revealed on Wednesday, but don't wait, okay? You'll see her on Wednesday,

but don't wait. You can go and sign up to date her on our Facebook page right now, Bree and Clint. And I will press you to do it right now because you might miss out. If you wait, you might not be in quick enough. We're starting the refining process now. We're starting going through entries right now. So the sooner you get in, the more time, the better chance you have of being one of her potential suitors. Exactly.

And it's going to be so much fun. You're going to get to go on dates. We're going to film it. It'll be awkward. How fun does that sound? Good luck, everybody. You will hear more from her on the show tomorrow. Zinni is brilliant, Clint.

I love it when these come out. There is a new bridezilla story. What was your wife Lucy like? She was a dream. She is a dream, though. No Lucy like? She was a dream. She is a dream though. No, no, she is a dream. And I was like curious when after I proposed to her, I was like, oh, how's she going to go with this?

Like how's she going to go with the planning side of it? She could have organised our wedding in her sleep. You know, she's one in a million. You know, I was way more stressed on the day than her. She was chill. I was standing at the altar sweating my little nips off. She just showed up cool as a cucumber. Wearing a three-piece suit gets kind of sweaty.

You know, my best man had to dry me off with a hair dryer. Oh, that happened in our photo shoot when you and I got our first photos done. Yeah, I'm a sweaty guy when I'm nervous. Yeah, that's fair enough. I get sweaty around women. I get sweaty on the back of my knees. Do you get that? Can I talk to you about this bridezilla? Yeah, sure. So this has come out. It's gone to Reddit.

One of the guests from the wedding has been sent a list of demands from the bride. Okay. And it's come via the wedding coordinator. So she's told her coordinator what she wants and then she's distributed this. I thought rather than jump to conclusions that she is a

bridezilla, could we perhaps talk about the things that she's asked for and ask if maybe some of them are reasonable. How many is there? Ten things. I think she has to get seven plus to be a bridezilla. Alright, I will keep score when you're ready. Rules and

regulations. That's what they're called by the way. Number one, arrive 15 to 30 minutes early. That's fair. That's acceptable, right? I think that's okay because how annoying if you're waiting for people to get there and they miss out. So that's one good for her. That's fine. Please do not wear white, cream or ivory.

Well, don't wear white to anybody else's wedding. Yeah, you don't wear white. But ivory? Yeah. You're going to give everybody a deal on that one? Yeah, maybe. Please do not wear anything other than a basic bob or ponytail. Is this for guests?

Okay, no, that is one. Yep. Next. Please do not have a full face of makeup. That's another one. That's ridiculous. You're not allowed to have a full, she's the only one allowed to have a full face of makeup at the wedding.

She's that worried about people outshining her. Do not record during the ceremony. Oh, that's another one. Nah, that's okay. It's your wedding. Yeah, but people want to capture the moment. Yeah, your mum wants to get an iPhone video of you. Yeah.

It's going to be a lot better than that professional photographer that they hired. Also, just relax. Like, who cares if they record it? That's fine. Do not record you in this room. Do not check in on Facebook until instructed to do so. Oh, that's another one. Don't tell me what to do.

This is bridezilla criteria, by the way. This is from a real rules and regulations list leaked from the bride via her wedding coordinator. Use our hashtag when posting all pictures. No, I don't mind that one. We had a hashtag for our wedding. Yep, don't mind it. And you know why you do it?

It's so that the next day you can see everyone's photos. And everyone gets to enjoy the photos that everyone has taken. Yeah. I like that one. And some of the best photos we got. No, she's good on that one. Were from people, the hashtag we all had. Okay, she's fine on that one?

She's fine on that one. We'll give her that one. Do not talk to the bride at all. Oh my God, that's a big one. We should give her two for that one. Do not talk to the bride at all. Everyone will toast with Remy. No acceptance.

With what? Remy, the type of French champagne. That's how fancy I am. I haven't even heard of it. No one's allowed to have a beer for the toast. Nah, that's ridiculous. And finally, lastly, must come with gifts. $75 or more

if you want to be admitted into the wedding. That's another one. I mean, be grateful. Of the 10 wedding demands, let's see. how many verged on bridezilla criteria? We said seven, didn't we? Yeah.

She's got a very hefty eight out of ten. If you are planning your big day, hey, good luck. Good luck not becoming that bridezilla. It's a high-pressure, high-stress, high-cost situation, and who knows who you'll become. Just relax. Zedian's Bree and Clint. Hey.

It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Bree and Clint's birthday and Clint. Hey. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Bree and Clint's birthday banger. We get your songs, we figure out what was number one here in New Zealand on your 16th birthday, and then we play the best one. Yeah, by panel of judging. And the judges are me and Bree. Jenna, hi.

Hi, Jenna. Hey, how's it going? Good. How was your weekend? Not too bad at all. Nice to have some sunshine. Agreed. Jenna, what. Hi, Jenna. Hi, how's it going? Good, how was your weekend? Not too bad at all. Nice to have some sunshine. Agreed. Jenna, what's your birthday?

It is the 27th of February, 1987. Okay, Jenna, you were 16 in 2003 on the 27th of February and this is your birthday banger. Oh, Jenna. Were they Russian? Tatu? Tatu. They were Russian, eh, Jenna. Were they Russian? Tattoo. Tattoo. They were Russian, eh, Jenna?

They were indeed. Yeah. You get tattoo all the things she said. How do you feel about that? Not too bad. It could be worse. Yeah, I reckon it's actually quite niche and good. It's a very unique one.

And everyone remembers that song. You know why? It was so controversial. Because they hooked up in the music video, didn't they? Because they hooked up in the music video and everyone was like, oh my God, you don't have two women kissing each other. How far have we come? Now we're doing the bisexual life.

I know. Jaden, hey, welcome to the show. Hello. How's it going? Good. What's your birthday, Jaden? 9th of August, 1995. Okay, Jaden, you were 16 in 2011 on the 9th of August

and top of the charts in 2011 was this. That's a good one. Better moves like Jagger. How do you feel about that, Jaden? Yeah, it's a good song. Yeah, it's a good song. It's not bad. What are you doing at the moment, by the way?

Are you in bed? No, no, just sitting in my car. Yeah. We're just in the store with the mother. Fair enough. Fair enough. Fair enough. Thanks for calling.

Just waiting for a mate. Dave. Dave. Hello, Dave. Hey, guys. How you doing? Good. What's your birthday, Dave?

3rd of March, 1976. Okay, Dave, you were 16 in 1992 on the 3rd of March. And top of the charts was this. The Kanglub. 1992 on the 3rd of March. And top of the charts was this. The King. Banger. Yeah, banger. God, MJ comes up a bit, doesn't he? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He had a couple of hits. Did he? Wait, who is this Michael Jackson? Are you keen for that, Dave? Are you keen for Michael Jackson, remember the time? Yeah, we'll go to back school. Yeah, all right, okay. Here's our issue. We just played Michael Jackson. We the time? Yeah, we got a bit of back school. Yeah, all right. Okay. Here's our issue.

We just played Michael Jackson. We did. Like two birthday bangers ago. Thursday, we played Michael Jackson. Beat it. Beat it. One of the big hits. Yeah.

I feel like. You know what? I feel like going with that first one. All the things she said. I reckon tattoo. Producer Ben is not happy. Why is he not happy? He's not impressed.

What's your problem? I've never heard of it in my life. Yeah, well, this is good. You get to learn about it. Haven't you? Go look up the film clip. You'll love it. Yeah.

Let's play it just for Producer Ben. Here we go. Just for the nostalgia. Jenna, you won birthday banger. Well done. Here we go. Just for the nostalgia. Jenna, you won Birthday Banger. Well done. Awesome. Thanks so much. All right.

Here you go. I've chosen Tattoo over Michael Jackson. Oh, my God. This is not fair. Bree and Clint, that's the winner of Birthday Banger from Tattoo. It's called All The Things She Said. Believe it or not, beat Michael Jackson. And do I stand by it?

Yes, I do. Yes, I do. I love that producer Ben goes, I've never heard of that Tattoo song. And then someone on the text machine has said, how young is your producer? I can't believe he doesn't know this song. He's not that young.

He's got a moustache. Yeah. He should really know what it is. People are texting him, banger. Are you at least 17? How old are you? Nah, not yet.

Not yet? He's on We Experience. Go for it. You know the one you told me to watch? Yeah. It's just like sad and rainy and depressing.

The music video. That's what you told me to watch. Yeah. You've missed the point. Yeah, you've missed it. Banger from the text machine. People can definitely hear the song outside my car. See?

Bree and Clint, you owe me new speakers. I shouldn't have read that one out. No, in a good way. Stupid birthday bangers. I think they mean they blew up their speakers listening to how good Tartu was. Imagine if we'd played Michael Jackson, right? Yep.

I definitely would have made it a new subwoofer. Zinni is brilliant, Clint. Unfortunately, these days, Clint, something that happens in our everyday lives is you can be catfished. Yeah. No other generation has had to ask themselves whether the person they're talking to

is actually that person. Because they've met them most of the time. Yeah. Yeah. Like our parents' generation didn't, when they met someone and started to go out with them, they didn't have to go, wait, are these real pictures of you or are they fake pictures of you?

Because they come from a Polaroid camera. Because I took the pictures. That's right. If you haven't heard of catfishing, which I mean everyone's heard about it, but if you haven't, it's where people pose and use different pictures of someone else online and they pretend to be someone else.

They steal someone's identity and they misrepresent themselves. And catfishing usually refers to dating. They misrepresent themselves in a dating sense. It's quite a horrible thing to do to someone because you lie to a person for a long time usually. Yeah, it can get really horrible too because some people do it purely for the means of manipulation to get money out of people and they go, we're in a relationship now, I need some money,

that sort of thing. Give me details about your banking. All kinds of stuff. Leave me a key to your house. I'm going to come around and... All right, well, that's full on. All right. One of our good mates has been catfished

and this has been a number of weeks in the making and finally it's all come to a head and now I can bring you the story because we know for a fact he was a catfish. Yeah. So one of our good mates, he met a guy on a dating app and they started talking and they got to know each other really well.

This was over a number of months. They talked every day about intimate details. They shared their lives with each other. And our friend got really kind of, you know, he was interested. You get emotionally invested. Exactly right. Because you start going, oh, yeah, you start going, what if? You start planning in your head and that sort of thing.

A few weeks ago uh him and i actually spoke about whether or not we thought this guy was a catfish and there was a few red flags what were they because what are the telltale signs because you picked up on it quite early and you said to me i don't want to tell him that i think it's a catfish yet yeah i think he already knew though yeah what are the red flags so one of the red flags was he went to a wedding and told our friend that he was going to a wedding that weekend. Anyway, literally the next day he sent our mate the photos from the wedding, like professional photos. Yeah.

And you're thinking, well, big deal. Yeah. How long does it usually take to get professional photos back? Oh, he was in the actual wedding photos. Exactly. Oh, yeah, a couple of weeks. Yeah. Obviously the person catfishing hasn't thought about that.

So he has all his stuff ready to go for these situations. Because he's grabbed it from some other person's profile. Right, okay. The second big red flag was he sent a photo, this was a week later, of him on a boat. He said he was in Auckland. This was on a Saturday. It was pouring rain.

He sent this photo of him on a boat with his top off. Oh, do your research, Catfish. Come on, mate. These are the fundamentals. Come on. Jeez Louise. Even, oh. Anyway, turns out they organised to meet up at a cafe.

He never turned up. Yeah. That sucks. Really does suck. That sucks. Our mate was pretty upset. For me though, the biggest red flag

from what you told me was the fact that you said they were talking online for months and they'd never met. Because there's a tipping point. Like surely you get to a point where you go, okay, we've talked about everything we can.

We've got to meet up. We've got to hang out. We've got to see if there's chemistry in person. When's the physical connection? Or do you? Can you be, like, can you actually be in a relationship with someone just online? Well, this is what you and I have spoken about.

Maybe you can. And for how long? Like, how long can a relationship that has no actual physical contact last for? Last weeks, months, years, who knows? We want to hear from you this afternoon. 0800 dial ZM. Are you in a relationship and you've never met the person? Yeah.

Or have you had one of those experiences? You can at work. Oh, it's so interesting. Yeah. 0800 dial ZM. Call now or you can text us on 9696. Z is brain clenched. So one of our good mates has been catfished.

Yeah. It went over a number of months. He got dragged through it, got led on by this other guy that he met on a dating app. He knows now though. He knows now. And it didn't get stung financially or anything like that. That's the good part about it. No, but he did get pulled through a lot of emotional strain.

I mean, he had feelings for this guy. He tried to meet up with him at a cafe. The guy never turned up. You told me this story. They were sort of online dating. Kind of. For about two months. Yeah.

And I've said, you can't be in a relationship with someone for that long having never met them. I don't know. I think times are changing. Really? Yeah, maybe. I mean, depends. I think there's a certain time limit. Yeah.

Well, that's our question this afternoon. Are you in a relationship with someone or have you been in a relationship with someone that you've never met? Alicia, hi. Oh, are you there? Yep. Can you hear me? Yeah, good. Who was in a relationship with someone they'd never met? So my older

brother was actually in a relationship with a girl from in America. Okay. They dated for about a year and a half, two years without actually meeting. He was fully invested in love with this girl, bought a ticket, went over to America and she never showed,

and then he found out she was catfishing him. You're kidding me. Two years. Did you, like, he's your brother, so you want him to be happy. Did you feel like getting involved somewhere in that two-year bit and go, hey, man, are you sure about this?

Oh, yeah, totally. I tried so hard. We all did in our family, but he was just so invested in this girl. Did you know it was a catfish? Where did they meet? Did you know that it was a catfish? I was pretty certain it was a catfish.

I mean, girls kind of know with the social media sort of thing, but he just wasn't aware whatsoever. Oh, that's really sad. Did he lose anything? Yeah. Did it cost him money or anything like that? Just the plane tickets, which were quite a lot from New Zealand to America. That's the thing, hey.

Some people do it just for the emotional manipulation part of it. Some people aren't looking to scam you. It's pretty messed up. They're just looking to fake the life of somebody else through this sort of thing, which is sad in itself. So thanks, Alicia. Madison. Hey.

Have you been in a relationship with someone that you've never met? Yes. Oh, you actually have. Yeah, I have. What happened? So I was in a relationship with someone for about six months via text and MSN. Oh, MSN, throwback.

Yeah, MSN. How good was MSN? And fast forward 15 years, we've got two kids. No! Wow! Okay, okay, okay. How did you meet? Did you meet in a chat room?

No, it was actually my friends. We were all playing around and put phone numbers together. Yeah. And one of them ended up being a mate of hers and then said, oh, I don't want to text these girls and passed it on to him. And yeah, we met up six months later. That is fate, can I say? Absolute fate.

It's also the kind of stuff that everyone pulling a catfish at the moment really wants to hear. They're like, yeah, yeah, tell them the good story. Tell them the six months and then you end up married.

That's good shit right there. Gives that little bit of hope. Well, I haven't quite got the ring yet but you know. Hang on, hang on. You guys have met though,

right? You've actually... Well, they've got kids. Let's hope they've met. Can't make those over MSN. Lastly, Jaina. Hey, Jaina. Hey, Jaina. Hi. Have you been in a relationship before and you've never met the person?

Well, it wasn't really a relationship. It was more kind of good friends but we spoke online for about four and a half years and then I decided to go all the way to Canada to meet him and we're still really more kind of good friends, but we spoke online for about four and a half years. And then I decided to go all the way to Canada to meet him. And we're still really good friends to this day. Whoa, how did you meet?

It's really funny. We actually created a Harry Potter Facebook group together. So yeah, we both did that Harry Potter Facebook group. That's amazing. And you, hang on. So you two have bonded over that. You've bonded over online for four years. You've met and you're still not in a relationship together. Well, it's probably really hard to do

like long distance from Canada to New Zealand, but we do have like a safety marriage. So at 29, if we're both still single, we're going to get married. 29? That's young. Yeah. 29. You know what. Yeah, I guess so.

29. You know what? I just went into pure panic because I'm nearly that age and I don't have a backup. Do you need us to find you a safety marriage? Producer Ben? Hey, Jada, good to hear from you. Yeah, I might.

I might start that. All right. Hey, thanks for calling, Jada. See you. Zinni is calling, Jenna. See you. ZDM's brilliant Clint. I have a story for you about a guy who may be the biggest cheater of 2018. And I mean relationship cheating. What has he done?

Well, he's a football player, a soccer football player. Right. Plays in the English Premier League. His name is Sado Bergerino. Plays for Stoke. I don't care about football. That sounds Italiano. No, he's not. He's not? No, I know that much about him.

He's not Italian. Sado Bergerino. He is on the birth certificate as father of two babies. Right. One born on May 30 this year and one born on July 17 this year.

Wait, May? Oh. So those babies are less than six weeks apart, which means they have to have been born to different women. And they were. Right. The first baby. God, he was busy.

Was it his birthday nine months-ish previous? The first baby is to his ex-fiance. Now, they got pregnant when they were still together. She left him before the baby was born when she found him trying to sneak another woman into their house at night. What do you mean into the house when she's there? I didn't say he was smart. That woman that he was mean into the house when she's there? I didn't say he was smart.

That woman that he was sneaking into the house is not the mother of baby number two. So that's another woman. Oh my God. News out today that his lawyers are in talks with a third woman who claims that he's the dad of her baby. And that baby was born on July 15th. Holy hell. So this guy, potentially, like obviously the third one hasn't been proven,

but he's on the birth certificate for the other two, so at least two. This guy potentially is the father of three babies to three different women all born within six weeks of each other. And they're the only ones that have come out and said something. How did he have any time for football? Honestly, mate. How did he have any energy left to kick a ball around? Holy hell. I mean, look, I shouldn't laugh.

People's feelings are involved. But if you've got your Tinder radius set to the UK. What's his name? A man named Sado Bergerino pops up. Probably going to swipe left. I was going to say. Zee names Brian Cliff. We took the show on the road for the first time last week, didn't we?

It was a lot of fun. We went to New Plymouth for our first ever Friday Jams pre-party. In Taranaki. A warm-up party. Hey, by the way, we need to apologise to a certain mountain who we said last week doesn't exist. We saw it. When we flew in on Friday, I said to the person who picked us up

from the airport, where's the mountain? And she goes, oh, it would be there. It was all cloudy. I said, you're in on the conspiracy. Next day, we wake up on Saturday. What do we see? But the most beautiful mountain we have ever seen. Stunning.

Mount Taranaki. So apologies. It exists. Yeah, we can confirm it does exist. There are people listening to this now going, oh, Bree and Clint are in on the conspiracy now. And there'll be other people thinking, idiots. How good was our night though?

Crowded house, how good did that go? I had such a good time. How nice are the people in New Plymouth? Yeah, we met some great people. Did you know that you have a problem when you're on the booze though? What do you mean? You, you turn into a different person

who has a very, very foul mouth. Oh, no. I don't know what's going on here. What have you guys planned? Full disclosure, when we went home, our producer, Ali, rounded us up and said, get in the car, we're going home about one o'clock in the morning. Took us through the McDonald's drive-thru.

Fantastic. Such a good producer. What a legend. We get home, Br one o'clock in the morning. Took us through the McDonald's drive-thru. Fantastic. Such a good producer. What a legend. We get home. Bree goes, I want to record a video. We're in a hotel room and I'm saying, I want to record a video. I want to record a video. And again, our producer Ellie says to us,

are you guys sure you want to record a video? Yep. Yep. Clint, you get on the bed. This is getting worse. Now, some people will be familiar with the radio station, Radio Hauraki in Buzia. How good's Buzia?

How good's Buzia? Don't listen to it. It's on the same time as us. It's not that good. That might be the second best drive show. Anyway, they have this gag that they do, which you wanted to recreate. I love this gag.

I'm going to play this to you in full. Oh, don't play it here. No, I'm in it too. I'm going to play this to you in full. Oh, don't play it here. No, I'm in it too. I'm in the same boat as you. I just don't have the same potty mouth as you do. No, I like the gag. I'm just saying I know what's coming.

Do you make sure you've beeped all this, Producer Ben? Well, I've put him in charge of the censoring, so let's hope it's all good. I want you to count in this video. I've had a few drinks. I'm a bit loose at this stage. How many expletives come out uh here we go hey brie how are you good i know it's friday night i'm settling into the weekend you know but i've got a good interview for monday monday you're already thinking about monday show yeah no i've got a you won't believe yeah Yeah. Michael Jackson. You've got Michael Jackson? Yep.

I've locked it in. 4.30. F***ing Monday. Michael Jackson? Yeah. He dead, isn't he? Is he? Rock solid video.

Rock solid content. After our producer Ellie filmed it at 2 in the morning, Brie goes, upload it. She goes, you sure you want to upload that video at 2 in the morning, Brie goes, upload it. She goes, you sure you want to upload that video at two in the morning? Upload it. All right, I'll upload it if you get out of my room. You're swearing a lot in it. Upload it.

Now, did you count the number of swear words in there? No. In a 27... That could be anything. You could have beeped words and made me sound like I was swearing. No, because the uncensored version's on our Facebook page. In a 27-second video, you managed to get four F-bombs in,

which works out to one F-bomb every 6.5 seconds. So, well done. My mum's so proud. Zee is brilliant, Clint. We all know what a man cave is, right? Mm-hmm. It's where you send your boyfriend to... Doc, be careful.

Well, no, to do all this manly stuff that you don't want in the regular house, like Fortnite and... Watch footy. Yeah. Actually, I love watching footy. Yeah, well, you'd enjoy being in the man cave. I love a man cave. Women are allowed in the man cave.

Are we? Well, it actually depends on the man cave. Women are allowed in my man cave. I've kind of ended up with one by default. Like, I never intended to have one. Where is it? It it actually depends on the man cave. Women are allowed in my man cave. I've kind of ended up with one by default. Like I never intended to have one. Where is it? It's at the back of our house. Okay. And it's just where all the stuff that Lucy, my wife didn't want in the house went. So all your stuff. My turntables. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a beer fridge out there. She's like, cool, you've got a beer fridge. Not putting that in the house. That's in the man cave. I've by default,

by stealth, ended up with a man cave. Excellent. Now, there is a trend. Strip a hole. That was a good time. Memories. There's a bartender. He just lives in there. Memories. Winston. That's his name. I thought you meant Winston

Peters is out there. No, that's the bartender's name. It smells like Dunhill Blue out there. There is a trend towards a women's version. And what are they calling it? The name for the, because obviously you can't call it a lady cave. Well, that's a bad idea. That's a whole other story. They're calling them.

They're calling them. A lady cave? You can't call it a calling them. They're calling them. Lady Cave. You can't call it Lady Cave. They're calling them. Lady Cave. Women's man caves. They're calling them she sheds. That's hard to say.

A she shed. It's also not much better. Yeah. So there's a company in Nelson that is on this. Oh, they're actually creating these. No, no, they're on it. And they reckon it's boom time. This company called Homelands with a Z.

I've got a real issue with businesses who put a Z in their name instead of an S. You know why? Because all you're doing is making it harder for people to find you. Like, why don't you just spell it the normal way? It's bad marketing. What are you, what's the point? I mean, we didn't study marketing, but. Well, they're getting a great plug here. Homelands with a Z.

They import pre-constructed she-sheds. What's in it? Well, this is what I want to ask you. A she-wee? What do you want in it? Like, what lady things do you want in there that are particularly... I know you said she-wee and it cracked you up. No, you can put a...

Well, that's what I think of when you say she-shed. Well, you can put a real toilet In there if you want It's yours You don't have to Nah not in the she shed mate What's going in the she shed We use she wees

What do you want in there What are specific Lady Pastimes That you need in this shed That you need to remove From the man part of the house McDonald's

Oh yeah I just want a McDonald's in there Yeah but that's not very lady Why not Well it's not very lady. Why not? Well, it's not very lady specific, I guess. Why can't it be? I'm trying to stereotype here, mate.

I'm trying to... Oh, sorry. I've gotten in the way of your stereotyping. Well, it has to have a point of difference. A recent... Do you want me to tell you some of the things they're telling you to put in there? Go on. A painting area.

Oh. Oh. I'd rather an Xbox. A painting area. Oh! I'd rather an Xbox. A reading area. Oh! Ugh! A sewing station. Oh! This is what I mean. These are the things that

they're telling you. I want a man cave. I don't want the lame she shed. Who wants a bloody reading area? I'll do that inside. Can there be an area? Make it cool. Make it cool. Can there be an area where there's like little farm animals?

No. Oh. It's a barn. Yes, it can. It's my she shed. I can put in there what I want. Yeah, you can put in there what you want. Oh, $800 at M.

This is the question this evening. Let's stereotype it up, New Zealand. No, no. Don't have to stereotype. I'll go wide with you. Okay. But it has to be better than farm animals at McDonald evening. Let's stereotype it up, New Zealand. No, no, don't have to stereotype. I'll go wide with you. Okay. But it has to be better than farm animals and McDonald's. What's better than farm animals and McDonald's?

What do you want to stick in your she shed? Oh, 800 dials that in. Brie and Clint. Zeddy and Brie and Clint. They're on their way. The next big thing, they're called she sheds. Lady versions of the man cave. And we're trying to figure out, what do you put in a she shed?

What sort of things go in there? I'm not impressed. The major marketers have said she sheds are spaces where women who need some time alone. Right. Can read, paint, garden, do whatever they like. Those major promoters can shove it because guess what? We do more than that.

Well, I think they should have come in a bit hotter with some more things. But how about some cooler stuff? That's all boring. We're asking the question that people have been asking for years. What do you women want? I want a karaoke area. It's a fair question. I can get my top off.

You want a karaoke place where you can get your top off? Yeah. Yeah, okay, cool. A nail station. Cool stuff. 0800 dial ZM. What do you can get your top off? Yeah. Yeah, okay, cool. A nail station. Cool stuff. 0800 dials it in. What do you want in your she shed? Ashley, hi.

Hi. What do you want in your she shed, Ashley? I want a light-up dance floor and a karaoke space. Oh, you and Bree. Same page? Yes. What's your go-to karaoke song? Anything.

I'll sing to anything. Even if I don't know the words, I'll just? Anything. I'll sing to anything. Even if I don't know the words, I'll just sing it. And I'll just go for it. Are you good? No. No. So I think if I ever got a she shed, my partner and my sister would be really happy that they didn't have to listen to me sing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What are your thoughts on those other recommendations? Do you want a sewing area? Oh, God, no. Oh. The sewing area is rude, eh? They might as well have said a vacuuming area. Yeah.

You know? What, do you think we're living in the bloody 40s? I've got you a nice room where you can go and do your chores in private. Ashley, what about the reading area? I reckon... I do like reading, but I wouldn't use that as my reading area. You can read anywhere, right? Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, hey, thank you, Ashley. I love that you guys get to drink beers and watch the footy and we get to read. Well, Fiona, what do you want in your she shed? I want a big old wine fridge. See, now we're talking, Fi. Yeah, that's a must have.

Have a bit of Pinot Gris, bit of Rosé, bit of Pinot Noir. Yeah. Yeah. Big old. What's that? You would have to have a spa pool. Oh, yeah. Okay.

See. Yeah. Geez, I tell you what, when you get all slippery from the spa pool and you've sunk a few vinos, it's going to be dangerous times at the sewing station. Zinian's Brain Club. I stumbled across an interesting Facebook page the other day. It's very interesting. It's called Bad Dates of Melbourne.

Oh, yeah. And it's literally a woman who was going on a lot of terrible dates and she thought she was the only one and she started this Facebook page. Melbourne. In Melbourne. Yeah, a lot of guys putting beard oil in in the middle of the date. Exactly.

Just oiling up their beard. A lot of guys who've got their fancy socks caught in their fixed gear bicycle as they cycle to the craft brewery. It's a tough life in Melbourne. And she slowly started to realise that she wasn't alone and people started to send in their bad dates where she now uploads these bad dates on this Facebook page. Yeah, people love a sense of community,

especially when you're gutted about the date you went on. Like if you can go in there and read someone's that was worse, it's going to make you feel a whole lot better. Exactly right. I thought I'd share a few with you and the people of New Zealand this afternoon. Yes, please. Date number one.

We had a terrible date. He insisted my place was on the way home. It wasn't. So we shared a cab. When we got to mine, he presumptuously got out of the car. And what did I do? I climbed up the giant tree out the front of my house. From the highest limb, I called out to him,

thanks for a nice night. See ya. He called me crazy, got back in the cab and went home. I never saw him again. Bad date. Not good. Bad date. Not good. Bad date. You know it's a bad date when you're scaling trees to get away from the person.

Can you just imagine she gets out of the cab and just goes straight up the tree. Like a cat. Like a cat who's seen a dog. Literally bad date number two. After our date, he offered me a lift home, but I had to sit in the back seat. The front seat was covered in Dungeons and Dragons figurines. Bad date. Although he's passionate about something.

Oh, it's good. He's got a hobby. It could be worse. His hobby could be World of Warcraft. Yeah, okay. Bad date number three. We walked around the CBD and he asked multiple homeless people if he could take photos of them.

To this day, I don't know why, but I never saw him after that. What is going on? Bad date. Is he one of those guys who's trying to run like a real, you know, like Humans of New York? I don't know. That's weird. Real obnoxious people would come over to you.

They've always got like a DSLR camera with one of those straps around their neck and they go, excuse me, I've just seen you. Do you mind if I take your portrait? Go away. I've just seen your natural habitat. I just want to. And then they write a caption like, I met the soul today. Go away.

Go away. I think you'll like this one. This was my favourite one. Bad date number four. To round it out, he loves Celine Dion. He would play My Heart Will Go On when we had sex. He would

coordinate his movements with the music. No! We've got a piece of that song. Do you want to picture that for a second? Imagine some synchronised choreography Heat of the moment This comes on I'm flying

Brie, I'm flying Alright At least Hey, no, that's enough. At least, hey, no, there's silver lining in everything, right? Silver lining. At least. It's quite a long song. True.

Although in this situation you probably just want it to end, so. The only time. ZDM's brilliant Clint.