ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Special Edition – Naughty & NSFW

Episode Date: January 7, 2021

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Brie and Clint. Clint, an Aussie retail chain, Big W, have you ever heard of it? Big W? It's like the... Is it Woolworths? No, it's like Kmart. Exactly like Kmart. Oh, okay.

Yeah, so... But the K was taken. Yeah, so they had to go with W, unfortunately. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not as catchy. But Big W has been forced to re-call a Christmas item on their shelves after people have said it was an X-rated design. Oh, no, X-rated Christmas. Oh, no.

The best kind of Christmas. Yeah. Talk to me about it. What is it? Ho, ho, ho. Come on in. Ho, ho, ho. Good evening to all three of you.

Look at Santa's sleigh. Don't make a joke about his sack, okay? That's too far. That was where my brain was going then. A customer. Don't you dare make a joke about him coming down your chimney. No, I was going to talk about. Do not go there.

I was going to talk about him eating my milk and cookies. Do not talk about Santa entering through the back door, okay? That is not appropriate. No, he doesn't. He always uses the chimney. He's a top man. Yeah, right. He's from the top roof.

A customer shared a photo of, what do you think the item was that people are up in arms over? Candy cane? You've seen it, haven't you? No, I haven't seen it, but candy cane is what my mind goes to. Have I? It's a candy cane-shaped bath bomb. Right. Oh, so not even, but candy cane is what my mind goes to. Have I? It's a candy cane shaped bath bomb. Right.

So not even a real candy cane? No, no, no. It's a bath bomb. Someone's uploaded a picture of it to a Facebook page and they're saying, does anyone else think this candy cane looks like a, you can do the math on that. Right. So it's meant to dissolve in the bath, right? It's not one that you take in the bath and it stays solid? Yeah. No, it goes flaccid in the bath. Candy

canes are a high risk item at Christmas anyway because if you deviate even slightly from the traditional candy cane shape, I mean, it's a long item that you stick in your mouth. Yeah, I know. And like when it's a bath bomb, you put it in the water and it fizzes. So, I mean, they're playing with fire. It's just you naked, alone, with this item. I mean, it's got

danger written all over it, doesn't it? Damn, Christmas never sounded so sexy. Anyway, if you've got this X-rated bath bomb from Big W, what, take it back? No, I wouldn't. I'd buy more. I'd buy more. Sounds like a good time to me.

I think everyone needs to calm down. It's Christmas time. We need some, you know. We know what's happening at your house at Christmas. Bit of fun in our life. Merry Christmas. I'm off for a bath. I'm nervous about this.

Yeah. Look, I'll just Premise this with This might not be Super appropriate For young ears But I am going to Talk in code Okay sure

So it's not going to be You know And We are just talking About human bodies Okay It's nothing you know Now I'm nervous

Because I don't know What's going on Yeah right So I've come up With this thing Where I really wanted To put you to the test. Yes.

Tonight. About human bodies. Well, one particular human body. Okay. Female human bodies. Oh, okay. Yeah. So a study's been released.

That was an ah of I'm out of my depth, not an ah of disgust. No, I definitely got that. It was the out of the depth. Ew, yuck, woman. Yeah. Hopefully your wife's not listening. So a study's been released where they surveyed 236 college students between the ages of 18 and 36.

Okay. Which the results showed a notably high level of misunderstanding among men suggesting that it's not just a stereotype in popular culture that men really don't know where one particular thing on the female body is. Oh, right. Okay. You don't have to go into more detail. I understand what you're saying.

Yep. So, as actual statistics, apparently 44% of men were unable to locate. You're not going to make me locate it on the radio, are you? Are you? It's a human body. It's not a big deal. But what am I locating it on? Not you.

Well, now you've taken it too far. It's a piece of paper. Oh, far out. But then I thought you might bring in like a first aid doll or something. No. Okay, so what I've got here, and this is going viral at the moment But then I thought you might bring in like a first aid doll or something. No. Okay. So what I've got here, and this is going viral at the moment because there's a tweet that a girl sent out recently and she was like, I'm convinced, you know, this is all true. Put it this way.

If you hold the piece of paper up the right way, I'll be able to get it. Okay. What way up the right way, I'll be able to get it. Okay, what way is the right way? I haven't seen the paper yet. I'm getting nervous. You get one guess. Yes. And obviously we both know what we're talking about. Yes.

You need to point out where you think that particular thing is on this diagram. The thing that we are talking about is oh so obviously you've got this is the left yeah this is the right and you need to tell me and it's got little like um okay let's not stick around in this zone for too long because we're in dangerous temperatures it is problem in the first place is you don't sit around long enough right okay i don't know you go left or right i'm sticking in the middle in the middle and i'm going right i'm going right don't touch it i'm gonna go i'm gonna say that one okay that one all right so now so you know i'm not lying yeah i've got a piece of paper yeah which will confirm the result on it yeah okay, yeah. Okay, cool. Yep, sweet. Okay. Let me just go to my medical records.

The location of the thing. Clint, were you correct? Yes, I got it. Congratulations. Didn't you say this? Oh, shit. Classic me. I celebrated too early.

No, I'm just kidding. This is a mock-up. You were right. You were right. I was about to say my poor wife. Bree and Clint. Our list has been compiled, analyzing over 300 songs from playlists as to which are the best songs for indoor gardening.

The top ones played. If you're looking for a soundtrack to get you going, what is it? We were quite disappointed with number one. Quite disappointed. Who was it by? It was by a guy named Jeremiah. I do know him, yeah. Yeah, I know him too. It's just...

I can kind of see it. I can see it, but is that the number one song? I wouldn't say it's the number one. So we're making our own playlist, okay? We're going rogue and we're going to make a playlist for the country. We're going to double the population in nine months with this playlist. Liam's here. Hey, Liam.

Hi, Liam. Hey, mate. How you doing? Good. Take us gardening, indoor gardening with you, mate. What is the song that sets the mood? Specs Bomb by Tom Jones. I love Tom Jones and I love this song, so I'm with you, Liam.

Liam, this is a high-tempo song, though. Like, there's a lot going on. You know, it depends how fast the gardening's going, you know? Yeah, good point. I think this is early when you first start gardening. Right. Yeah, then you can, like, you know. Yeah, right.

Slow down afterwards. Bit of build-up. Yep. Always good. Start fast you can like, you know. Yeah, right. Slow down afterwards. Bit of build up. Yep. Always good. Start fast and slow down as you go. Right. Okay. Some texts coming in.

Someone has suggested some Neo. Again, like some artists have already identified, I think Neo only makes music for the bedroom. I think so too. Breakups in the bedroom. Someone said this song gets all the exotic shrubs. That's what it said. Sexy Love by Neo. Right, okay.

Jo's here. Hey, Jo. Hi, Jo. Hey. Hey, guys. What are you thinking, Jo? Take us to your gardening spot. So my gardening song at the moment is Jewelry Per Physical.

Oh. I got you next to me. Joe, you should meet up with Liam because there's a lot of energy in these tracks. Early in the garden. This is like an aerobics course. Oh, I love it. Love it. Goes off.

Yeah, right. Okay. I love it, Joe. On you, Joe. Thank you. Talk to Jackson. Hi, Jackson. Hi, Jackson.

Hey, how are you? Good, thanks. Jackson, what's on your playlist At the top of the list For your gardening Definitely has to be Or Nah By Ty Dolla $ign

I do like this song Have you had positive feedback About Ty Dolla $ign In the bedroom Jackson It was the first one as well. It was what? It was the first time indoor gardening as well when that played. Oh, so it's got a special place in your gardening heart.

You've got memories of it. Sandra. Hi, Sandra. Hi, Sandra. Hiya. What's at the top of your gardening list, Sandra? I'll Make Love To You, Boyz II Men. This is definitely in the top ten.

It's got to be. Very romantic. I love it. Yeah. I'll listen to you giggling as well. Take you back, Sandra. All right, we're going to put that on our indoor gardening playlist just after Ty Dolla Sign or Nah.

We're mixing it up. Let's finish the playlist off with Laura. Hey, Laura. Hey, guys. How are you? Good, thanks, Laura. What's at the top of your gardening playlist? Tempo by Lizzo.

Oh. Yeah, this is good. All right. How recently have you busted out this song, Laura? When was the last time it got a spin? I bust this song out when I'm in the car as well as when I'm doing a bit of indoor gardening. Damn, girl,

that's an exciting ride home. That song and Rules by Doja Cat are my favourites at the moment. Rules by Doja Cat, right. There you go. And in the car. This has been a fascinating look

inside New Zealanders' bedroom. We really appreciate you. I mean, sorry, inside your gardening sheds. Yeah, your garden. We appreciate you being honest with us. Keep all your tools.

Bree and Clint. Taking the internet by storm. We appreciate you being honest with us. Keep all your tools. Brianne Clint. Taking the internet by storm. This story has owned the internet today. It is the A-list celebrity that has announced they're releasing a candle that smells like their... Can I just say it? Can I just... Smells like their...

Oh. No, okay. No, no, no, no, yeah. Nah, you can say it because it's a medical word but you shouldn't say it in relation to scent. No. I think you keep those things

mutually exclusive, right? I think there's nothing wrong with it. No, there's nothing wrong with it and of course it has a scent. I was just about to say something so off. Okay, so the candle is called,

the candle is literally called This Smells Like My... What? And it's been released by Gwyneth Paltrow. Who else? I thought it was... Who else but Gwyneth Paltrow? She loves this type of stuff, doesn't she?

She's all about it. I thought when you were talking about this earlier, I thought it was going to be a mould of a... And that was going to be the candle. I didn't think she was going to go full scent on this. No, it's a normal shaped candle that comes in a cup, like a glass. How did they capture her Vahina smell? But on the outside of it says this.

So you could get away with it. People think it's a normal candle, except on the outside it says this smells like my Vahina. I need to know details. Does it actually smell like Gwyneth's Vahina? So the product description says that the candle has a funny, gorgeous, sexy and beautifully unexpected scent. That's how I picture Gwyneth, yeah.

To be honest. I mean, she looks like a unicorn sliding down a rainbow most of the time. The scents that the candle emits are derived from geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar, juxtaposed with damask rose and ambrite seed, none of which to me reeks of, oh, that's a wrong word, none of that to me suggests Stop. Stop. Stop. No.

None of it conjures up None of it conjures up memories of No, and good memories, they're all good memories, but, oh hang on. Yeah, see this is off. I know what you think I'm going to say it smells like and I'm not going to say that because that's an old joke and I'm not going to say that.

I don't want to hear you talk about memories of smelling. No, okay, yeah, that's fine. But I definitely wouldn't go, oh, is that geranium? Like it's not, I think she's She's taking the piss. She's either taking the piss or it's a protest

to go, my is a wonderful place and it should smell like wonderful things. It smells like a garden. Yeah, right? To me, my is a wonderful place and it should smell like wonderful things. It smells like a garden. Yeah, right? To me, that's that. Time to plough it. Sounds like a really nice gin and tonic is what that's in.

Oh, I see what you just did there, yeah. Anyway, if you're interested in Gwyneth Paltrow's... That was a bit of an awkward chat, wasn't it? Vahuna candle. Vahuna? Can't get it. Sold out. I want to test your consumer buying habits to see if this product that's new, it's on the shelves, to see if it excites you or not.

Okay, cool. So just released, it's a brand new range of different coloured desserts. Okay. So there's one particular type, which they're calling unicorn waffles. Oh, yeah. Which are pink. Yeah. And there's another type, which they're calling mermaid waffles,

and they're blue. That doesn't – the word waffle. Wait, blue waffles? Oh, no. You've got to do your market research before you put out blue waffles. This is a real thing. They've released blue-coloured waffles. Did they not have one millennial working in their

team that went, hey guys, just to flag something. That's all we Googled in 2006. That was the only thing that was Googled. That was the main gag, saying to someone, bro, you should Google image search blue waffles. Do it. Do it. Don't do it, by the way. Don't do it now.

Don't do it. But you're going to have to. This is the problem. What if you just want to buy these blue waffles? What if you want to buy these and you don't know the brand name? You don't know they're called Mermaid Waffles. Yeah. So you're like, okay.

I want those blue waffles. I know they're blue. What about if you go to someone's house, you sleep over, and they go, what do you want for breakfast? And you go, blue waffle. Don't Google it. And I know the more I say don't Google it, the more you're going to Google it.

There's a few things you shouldn't Google it. And I know the more I say don't Google it, the more you're going to Google it. There's a few things you shouldn't Google from 2006. Another one involved a couple of cups. They could have literally made it any other colour and it would have been fine. I'm pretty sure pink waffle is fine. Pink waffle's fine and healthy. Even black waffle, you'll get over the line. Brown.

I don't know about green. Black waffle doesn't sound very good. Or look good Okay cool You know here's a fact So the test was would I buy it No I wouldn't buy it Yeah

No It took you a little while to remember though Brian Clint Quite alarming statistics saying that our generation Compared to older generations Are doing it less Because of your Netflix subscription. God damn you, Netflix.

I love you and I hate you. Which, I mean, some would argue that our generation has a lot more opportunity for indoor gardening. Yeah, that's our favorite code word on this show, indoor gardening. You know, because, I mean, there's Tinder, there's a lot more ample opportunity to meet people and kind of have that casualness. There's also less prejudice.

Like, you can be single and ready to mingle without, I mean, to a certain degree. Some people will still give you a hard time. But also, there's a lot more acceptance of different sexualities. So you would have thought we're a more woke generation when it comes to that stuff, and we would be out there taking full advantage. Yeah, which it says uh even

if you're married uh you're dating someone you're single they're saying that uh your netflix subscription is getting in the way because there's just too much good stuff to watch you're choosing queer eye over um that over for some a bit of a queer eye. Yeah, right. You're choosing RuPaul's Drag Race over... God, I love that show. Blueball's Rag... No, don't. No, no, no. Okay, I don't have any good puns. I don't think it's all Netflix's fault.

Why? I think we have too many distractions. It's not just Netflix. Phone is a big one. Phone in the bedroom is another big one. Plus, also, if your partner wants to read a book at bedtime, now they've got endless books. If they've got a Kindle, Damn those books! They've got endless

books. Damn those sexy, sexy books! How am I meant to compete with a book? You know? Jesus! I'm out here. I come and do my hair before I come to bed. Get in.

How am I meant to compete with a boy who's also a wizard? How bad is it getting in your household when you can't even... Shut up. ...complete with paper? Shut up. You're the one who needs to be worried. You've just installed a TV in your bedroom. So now you've got two phones, two laptops, and a TV in the bedroom.

Plenty of places to watch some porn. You better hope your girlfriend never learns how to read. Damn those books. Got two phones, two laptops and a TV in the bedroom. Plenty of places to watch some porn. You better hope your girlfriend never learns how to read. Damn those books. So Gwyneth Paltrow has celebrated her 48th birthday by posting a nude. She's the goat. She is. You know, I mean, that candle she released last year.

Legendary. The vag candle. And she's an inspiration for all women around Sorry I shouldn't call it the vag candle by the way Yeah don't call it Yeah no it's the vagina scent This candle smells like my vag candle Don't say that

Anyway she's posted a nude on Instagram for her 48th birthday And she has done a great job Babe Her daughter Apple has commented on it And she's just written Mom! Which I think is the perfect thing For a 16 year old to write

When they see their mum Naked on the internet So relatable isn't it? I thought I think she looks great I thought yeah And I think it's body positivity And I think it's girl power

And I thought if Apple's mum I wish I looked like that now Not at 48 Yeah If Apple's mum is posting A nude on the internet Would your mum post

A nude on the internet? No she would not. Would mum die? If this is empowering as we've said, would she agree to post a nude on the internet? No, she wouldn't. Wouldn't she? I know my mum too well.

That is something she would not do. Well, I've suggested to you today that you give her a call and find out. Don't speak for her. Don't make up her mind for her. I'm going to need to position it in a way where she's going to be doing me a real big solid favour. Okay. So what if I pitch it to her

that I've run into, like, I've been backed into a corner and I've kind of said yes to a naked photo shoot, but they want her in it and we both get paid money. Right, okay. But they only are going to agree to it if she comes on board. Right, okay.

And we'll halve it. Does she get paid too? Yeah. Okay, so it's not a guilt trip. No. All right. She'll get paid half the money. Okay, see if she wants to do a nude shoot for money.

You give her a call now. Okay, I'm going to call her from my phone and pretend like I'm walking over to work so she thinks it's legit. All right, cool. I'm just going to put some nice traffic ambience under you. You can pretend that you're walking to work or something hello hi mom hi brianna i'm running late so can you listen real quick because i have to ask like this real quick okay so i totally forgot about this but and i'm really stressed out now because i've totally forgotten and they need an answer like tomorrow so women's day approach me because they're

relaunching um the magazine with a website and they want to do this big campaign with all of these new zealand women who are like strong and um you know independent and that kind of thing and they've asked me to do a photo shoot where we pretty much, it's like a nude photo shoot but like tasteful and then they've asked if you can be a part of it. Oh, my God. I hope they've got a fogger on it, have they? Yeah, we can grease up the lens. I'm actually being serious. Yeah, look, I'll do it.

They've offered good money and they said that they would pay you your own fee if you say yes. Oh, my God, Brianna. Honestly, it's not going to be pretty. No, well, they've got photographers and stages and all that kind of stuff. I don't know if I want to do it. Do you think I should do it? I've never done like a nude photo shoot before.

Well, it's really up to you. It's going to be out there forever and a day and it's going to be tasteful, isn't it? I mean... What's going to be out there? What are you referring to? Oh, well, everything and nothing. By God, I've got everything of the wrong thing. But if it's for you and if it was for a really good cause, like if they asked me to do the full Monty, I'd probably consider it. But, I mean, oh, Jesus, Brianna. They have asked, though, if we do say yes, we need to both be waxed.

Oh, are you kidding me? Not at the same time. G'day, Diane. It's Gavin here, the photographer for the shoot Preferably I'd prefer it if you weren't waxed I prefer a more natural wax Okay, that's enough from you Gavin, you creepy bastard Mum, I appreciate that, I'll let you know what your cut of the fee is

And I'll let them know it's a big yes from us, okay? Yeah, one condition. What? They do a really good tanning job. Bree and Clint. But tonight, strap yourself in. Purely straight up the middle piece of news content for this one, right? It is, yes.

Yes, good. So don't expect anything weird because it's going to be straight down the middle. This is very seven sharp. Very seven sharp. Think Jeremy Wells. Think Hilary Barry. That's what it is. So I need to bring this story to the table. It's about a gamer. Her name is Bella Delphine. Have you heard of her? Absolutely not. Yeah, that doesn't matter. You don't need to know who she is for this story. But she's made news recently. She's got about 3.9 million followers, if that means anything to you.

Good for her. Yeah, I know. She's going pretty well. She rose to fame when she was posting risque photos of herself and she's on, what is it called? Don't look at me. Only, what's it called? I believe it's called Only Fans.

That's what it's called. I knew you'd know. The site where you can buy, actually, I'm not going to give a description. Anyway, she's decided she's doing a bit of stuff on there. She's gaming. She's doing all of it, right? But I read in this story that she actually at one point in her career decided that she was going to sell her bath water.

That's when you know things are going well in your gaming career when you resort to selling your bath water. That's when you know things are going well in your gaming career when you resort to selling your bath water. Hey, well you laugh, but she says on her Instagram I, um, this is what she, how she pretty much advertised it. The water was bottled while I'm playing in the bath.

This is really bath water. This is not for drinking and should only be used for sentimental purposes. You can't tell people what to do with the water once they've purchased it off you. She was charging $43 a jar. She made an absolute killing. She sold out. She's decided she's going to.

She sold out, all right. Wow, call by me. She's decided she's going to do another round anyway. I'm looking at her now and I'm going to just come at this. No, no, don't comment. You don't need to comment. She's doing her thing. No, it's a compliment.

I think $43 might have been a bit cheap. You reckon? Okay. Well, if you're going to do it, if you're going to do that, you might as well go all in. Anyway, that's fine. That's my opinion. Well, it's weird because I said to you, and if you're going to do that, you might as well go all in. Anyway, that's fine. That's my opinion. Well, it's weird because I said to you,

and I've told you this story before, and this is a dead set legit story about myself, but about a couple of years ago, I got an Instagram DM from some guy. I don't know where he was. He was somewhere in the world. And he messaged me and he actually asked and offered to pay for my dirty bath water you've

told me this yeah and you said no right i technically no i didn't say no did you say how much no well i actually i think i did just for like the radio aspect of it whatever helps you sleep at night um anyway no i think he said how much. It was so long ago. I think he offered me like 500 bucks. Whoa. Yeah. Whoa, I've been very judgy McJudge pants in this break, but at $500, I would have to reconsider as well. Yeah, so after I sent it to him,

I'm just kidding. I actually ended up losing the direct message somewhere in my inbox. So there was no outcome. Did you want to do it? No, no, no, no. It was good and funny to talk about on the radio. Yeah.

But I thought now that we're here and I've seen that she's making money out of this. Yes. Maybe I should actually, you know, bring that back. Right, you want to return. You want to enter the bathwater market. Maybe. Selling your bathwater, your used bathwater.

That guy showed me maybe there's a market for it. Yeah, right. Yeah, so what I've done, I've come up with, I don't know how this is going to go. I've come up with a real kind of catchy ad. Are we going to advertise your bathwater? Yeah, and I mean we've got the radio show. Yeah.

So we may as well use the radio right now. Wow, okay. So if you can. Is this even legal to do this? We don't know, but we're going to do it anyway. It's okay. Here it is. I have an entrepreneurial spirit.

I'll back you. Great. You can come on board as my manager. Here it is, my advertisement for my dirty bath water. Hi there. You thirsty, parched, dehydrated. Then you need Salty BBW. Bree's bath water isn't found in the middle of the Amazon or at the top of a beautiful mountain.

Hell, it ain't even filtered. Bree's bath water is bottled straight out of her bath. In suburbia Auckland. And yes, it's dirty. Choose from her range of flavours. Sweaty gym. Working nine to five. Soccer match.

And our personal favourite hot yoga. Namaste. Are you wanting a non-sanitary product that's going to quench your thirst? Salty BBW. Too dirty? You know you're legit going to get offers now, eh?

You know someone out there wants it. Does anyone know, like, a good label maker I can use? Bree and Clint. Over the Christmas break, I got to do something pretty special for me. I got to spend the first ever Christmas with my baby daughter, Tui. Yes. Yeah, and what I really wanted out of it, this is what I really wanted to take away from Christmas.

More gifts for your child. No, no more gifts. No, I don't want any more clutter in the house. Also, she wouldn't remember, so I'd be happy if she got no gifts. That's fine. You and I joked over the holidays where you and I were like,

just give her some bottle caps and some wrapping paper. She'll be stoked. Just give her the box of whatever I get. Yeah, she'll love it. She'll have the best Christmas ever. No, what I really wanted was a nice family photo. Okay. Me, my wife, and my daughter, Tui.

If I could get that, that would be my Christmas sword. I know where this is going. Me too. I ruined that gift for myself by the day before Christmas giving myself a hickey in the middle of my forehead. Literally right on the top of your forehead. It's so obvious, isn't it? It's so bad it looks like I'm doing like Indian cultural appropriation.

Tell people how you did it. So I was sitting on the couch on Christmas Eve. Yeah. And I had, you know those suction cups that you use to like put things on the window? Like it might be like a car blind or... Oh, yes. Yeah, just like a little suction cup. Just playing with one.

And I stuck it to my forehead. And I swear to God, I swear to God that suction cup was on my forehead for 90 seconds tops. Wow. And then I went, pulled it off. Hickey. No, I was watching the cricket. I was saying you had a hickey.

Yeah, and then my sister-in-law goes to me, what's on your forehead? Over the next 24 hours, it got worse and worse and worse until the picture you guys can see in the studio at the moment. That's what my forehead looked like. And every photo I've got with my daughter on Christmas Day, I have this raging red hickey in the centre of my forehead. It's real bad.

So what I thought was for fun, this raging red hickey in the centre of my forehead. It's real bad. Yeah. So what I thought was, for fun, why don't we do it again? Oh, no. I've got the suction cup here. Don't look at me. You want to do another one? I've got the actual suction cup. And why don't one of us...

Oh, yeah. Oh, it's got to be producer Ben. Put it on our forehead. I like that. Because the girls, I mean be producer Ben. Put it on our forehead. I like that. Because the girls, I mean, we can't have that on our faces. You'd be more likely to, like, you know, get into an accident where someone's like, oh, he's bumped his head. It doesn't look like a bump, does it?

Well, you are, you know, you're the only single one now, so you're probably more likely to be doing that kind of activity. What does that even mean? There is absolutely no point in arguing because I've got Rebecca here. Hi, Rebecca. Hello. Now, you're aware of everybody on the show, right? You know who Bree is.

You know who I am. Ellie, Bin. I don't, and I've got a really good reason why the girls should not do this. Yes! No, no, no. They should do it. Oh, even better. Because they've got

makeup and they can cover it up. Yeah. Oh, Rebecca! And fringes. I thought we were friends. We are, but come on,

if we think about logic, we break it down to logic. I mean, I know this world that we live in now doesn't even know what that is.

Okay, Rebecca, don't get too political. Just think about how crack up it would be if Brie did it and then tell us. Yeah, that would be hilarious if Brie did it and she'd have a story. Rebecca. Who's putting the suction cup on their forehead, Rebecca?

Producer Ben. What? Yeah! Oh, Beck, you reeled me in there. Oh, she did. Definitely me. Love you, Beck. Okay, Ben, come on over here, mate. Come on over here. Oh, Bec, you reeled me in there. Oh, she did. Definitely me. Love you, Bec. Okay.

Boom. Ben, come on over here, mate. Come on over here. Oh, no. So what we're going to do is we're going to pop this on. This is the best day ever. That was such a twist. In the centre of your forehead.

Okay, cool. That's on there. Okay, so you said how long was it on there for? It just needs to be on there for 90 seconds to two minutes, and then we whip it off. So what we're going to do is we're going to play a song. Can I say Rebecca's MVP of the show today?

No, she's not. And then Clint's like, who's it going to be? She's like, producer Ben. We're going to play one song and then we're going to come back and we're going to see. We'll take the suction cup off together

and see if it works. I love it. Okay. Bree and Clint, back after this. Bree and Clint. Over the summer, I accidentally gave myself a hickey in the middle of my forehead with a suction cup.

Just happened to be the day before Christmas, and so all my Christmas photos with my new baby now have me with a big red hickey in the centre. But what a memory to have. What a memory to have. What a great memory. And what a great memory to offer you guys, my friends. In that show, we've played forehead hickey roulette.

It was chilly. Where listener of the show, Rebecca, has selected producer Ben to place the same suction cup on his forehead where it is currently. Rebecca, welcome back to the show. Thanks, Glenn. I'd like to say it's a great lesson to teach a child about stupidity and how not to do it.

Yeah, thanks, Ben. I need to ask, because in the break, Clint goes, oh, I was eligible as well. Did you realise that Clint was eligible to do the hickey on the forehead again? You've got to kick a man when he's down, Bri. Yeah, thanks, Jueka. I knew it was assumed. I didn't have to say

it out loud. Anyway, it's Ben who has it on the forehead. How does it feel at the moment? Is it hurting? No, it doesn't hurt. No, that's what happened to me. You didn't even realise it was on there. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to pull it off. It's been on a hell of a lot longer than Clint, by the way.

It's going to be black. Are you ready? I'm going to turn this down and hope we can hear it. You ready? Count us down. Three, two, one. Oh. Is it bad? It's bad, eh?

Not even anything. Currently there's nothing there. Fantastic. Good. Do hickeys surface immediately? Yes. Yep. Yeah, they definitely do. I think when inside's empty. Alright, well, Rebecca, there's no hickey just yet, but if it comes out, we will absolutely be putting it on Instagram, okay?

What a letdown. Again, again, again. If it doesn't come up, we should put it on again. Let's put it on his bum. Oh, I forgot to look at it. Maybe that's why. Oh, yeah. Free and Clint.

This is actual bullshit, by the way. Sorry to keep going on about the suction cup hickey roulette thing, but we just put the suction cup on Ben's head for two and a half minutes. Doesn't do anything. And did nothing. There's still no mark? Ellie, is there a mark on there? Ellie? Is there a mark on there? Ellie?

Is there a mark on Ben's head? No, there's not Nothing at all? And then I said to you I was like, you should test it again on your head As a joke And then you put it back on your head For ten seconds

And you've got another hickey So ten seconds on Ben Ten seconds on Ben Nothing No, sorry, two and a half minutes on Ben. Two and a half minutes. Nothing. 10 seconds on Ben.

Come here. I'm doing it to you for 10 seconds. Give me the cup. Come in here. Maybe it only needs to be on there for 10 seconds. I just did it as well for 10 seconds. I've got nothing. I can't believe I'm back in this situation again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, let me... Can you count it? Yeah. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. All right, pull it off. Nothing. Nothing.

It's just me. You know what it is. So it's just me. Your skin is older. No. So it might be more susceptible to it. That's rich. Because you've got older skin.

No, I don't have old thin skin. Excuse me. Maybe your skin is thinner. No, I'm not like an old bleeder. We've got a bleeder. Your grandma brushes past the door frame and she's like, uh-oh. Oh, you are at that age. That's right.

Now, how do I explain this forehead hickey to my wife again? This time last night, I bought you the story of the house that came with the jail cell underneath. Well, it was actually nine jail cells. A two-bitty with nine jail cells. Yeah, I mean, what a deal. $350,000. That's all it'll cost you. Especially if you've got nine criminals you want to flat with.

Yeah, great. It's perfect. I've got some more house news for you this evening. Yeah. We've got some more house news for you this evening. And this is from the UK. And it's about a woman who had purchased a house. They'd lived there for a little while, her and her husband. And she decided that she was going to get some CCTV cameras. CCTV cameras.

Cameras installed in her house. Anyway, so when the tradie came over he goes okay well i need to get up into your attic yeah up into the roof cavity because i need to install some sockets and some stuff up there yeah anyway she said to him yeah that's all good i'll go get you a ladder um just so you know i've never been up there so i don't really know what you're gonna find yeah or if it's gonna be messy whatever. If someone said that to me I would think they've definitely been up there. And they've forgotten something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, oh God. Yeah, cool. Okay. No, I think she just meant I don't know

if you're going to be able to put the sockets up there because I've never been up into the roof. Sure, okay. Anyway, the tradie went up into the roof and he said to her, I think your last tenants or the people who used to live here have left you a present up here. Dead body. Dead body? Not a dead body.

Oh, thank God. What was it? Not a dead body. You could say a body part. Oh, what was it? Not real human body part, but it is a body part. Oh, okay. It was a, how do we, I know what it is.

How do we say it? It was a toy of the male anatomy variety. Not for kids. Not a kid's toy. Not a kid's toy. Anyway, it was a toy. You know that singer on the Eminem song? Dido.

Dido. Dido, the flag song. Yeah, that, but with the- With a lunar plate in the middle. Yeah. So apparently it had gone prehistoric. Oh, my God. There's an ancient wanger in the roof.

It'd been up there for so long. Yeah, right. Well, I think it's actually still latex, so it's not that ancient, but it just copped some dust and debris. Apparently, the woman who owns the house now was like, leave it up there. I want the next person to find it.

The next person who buys the house will think that it was yours, though. So long as she's okay with that. I say bring it down and get it on Antiques Roadshow. Do you think it would be an antique? I wonder. Oh, there's a question. Hold on, I'm going to Google it right now. Are there antique ones?

When was the first one ever created? In Amsterdam there's an adult toy museum and they've got ancient like wooden ones. Wooden? Yeah, polished wooden, yeah. I don't care if it's polished. You know what you get from wooden? Glass.

They were glass ones as well. Glass is bad. Big woody. Yeah. You get splinters. Get the number. And let me know what words you typed into Google. I've done it on the work internet as well.

It says here trace back to around the first ones. The first ever male appendage toy was found, made. 1850. Oh, that's not that long ago. 1850. Well, what were they doing in the medieval times for fun? I'm sure they had plenty of things. Brian Clint.

Guys, this is exciting, but I've found an article that pretty much tells you what your favourite position is for indoor gardening based on your star thought. That's right, everyone. I just want to come down to this area, this aura. I'm going to let you know, Clint, what your favourite position is. I don't do star signs, but I'll bear with it for the sake of this. You're kind of interested though, aren't you?

Oh yeah, I'm interested now. Who should we do first out of the team? Because I've looked up everyone's star sign, which were all a different star sign. So I've looked up everyone. Do sign, which were all a different star sign. Yeah. So I've looked up everyone. Do Ellie first. Okay, Ellie first. Let's see.

She's a Leo. I am. Born in August. Like my mum. So this will be the – Oh, this is mumma dies? Oh, God. No, I'm keen.

Oh, that's weird. Leo, in terms of indoor gardening, their favourite position, which is quite fitting, is the wheelbarrow. Now you don't have to confirm or deny. No, you don't have to say anything. I'm just giving the information. Let people create their own image, okay? Yeah, so apparently theatrical and passionate Leos love to put on a show.

Do they what? Get that gardening done. Well done. Okay, cool. That's very interesting. Let's go Producer Ben. Producer Ben, I believe he's an Aries. Yeah, found out today.

That's how much I love star science. I love that. So this goes for all Aries, not just Producer Ben. Not just for Producer Ben. If you're an Aries, in terms of indoor gardening, you love to stand. Oh, yep. A fire sign, your typical Aries is bold and ambitious. So when it comes to indoor gardening, they like things, I'm not going to say that word, fast and ambitious. So when it comes to indoor gardening, they like things,

I'm not going to say that word, fast and passionate. Standing up. Nice. There we go. It doesn't sound convenient at all, but good for you. Sounds like extra work to me. Okay, do me, do me. I'm an Aquarius.

All right. I wouldn't have said that during this break. All right, Clint, you're an Aquarius. Let's save Clint till last. I'll do mine first. But we'll save yours till last. Fine, okay. I'm a Capricorn, and so for all the Capricorns listening,

your favourite position for indoor gardening is called the lotus. Okay. Like the flower? Yes. You've got a lotus flower tattoo on your ankle Oh my god I do So essentially picture it It's where someone's kind of sitting

With their legs Up like that and then the other person's Yeah okay you can look it up There you go look at that It's empty ambitious persistent And driven Driven into the ground And for Clint

There's more star signs than just us Are you just doing I'm just running through ours If you want to know yours you can text the text machine Clint and an Aquarius How am I going to get around this You love Is it a dumb one?

Indoor gardening. No, I find this one quite good. You love to sit. And that's all I'm going to say. No, I don't get it. Oh! I'm not doing the sitting. Someone else is sitting.

All right. Yep, yep, yep. Oh. Yep, yep. Damn, that's a great list. It says here, you're an air sign. I wanted to talk about

personalised plates for a minute. Right. Because. You're looking at getting one. No. R-D-O-C-H-K. What does that mean?

Radio chick. I think that's already taken. Can you check, Producer Bandy? I think it's taken. That was JJ's website in the 90s. Was it? Can you check if radio chick is taken on Kiwi Plates, please? We'll come back to you.

R-D-O-C-H-K or any variations that you can think of. What variations can you come up with, please? Because there's this story doing the rounds and it's about a guy who's from Sydney and he's a barrister. Not a barista, a barrister. Which is the one that makes the coffee, right? No. Damn it, I always get them confused.

It's the other one. Anyway, apparently he's in a legal battle at the moment over his personalised play. Well, he's the man for the job. Well, yeah. He man for the job. Well, yeah. He's arguing it, obviously, but he owns a bright yellow Lamborghini, so just something subtle, a nice subtle car,

and the number plate that's on the Lamborghini has been deemed too offensive for people. Because I'm thinking of appropriate number plates for the Lamborghini. P-E-N-1-S comes to mind. What? Well, you know, it's someone who drives a bright yellow Lamborghini. Oh, you mean S-P-E-N-1-5. P-E-N-1-5. Yeah, that'll work. 10-15 club.

Yeah. No, that's not what it is. Any other guesses? W-A-N, no. It would fit. It would fit. You get six characters. It would fit.

I wonder if anyone's got that. We can get Ben to check. I quite like if someone... Ben, with any results on radio, check. Yeah, radio, check. Can we get any results on radio, check? We need you to check another one now. Yeah, was it R-D-O-C-H-K?

Yeah. That's it. It's available. Is it? Yes. Okay, no. Can you please check another one now. Yeah, was it R-D-O-C-H-K? Yeah. It's available. Is it? Yes. Okay, no, can you please check? What about boobies? We know that's gone.

Yeah, remember that time that person called up and they said- Go B-0-0-B-Y-S. Remember that time that person called up and they said their grandma has been holding onto that personalised glass? Their grandma's got boobies. Yeah. Anyway- Oh, sorry. No, not taking boobies.

Sorry, mate. No, not available. Yeah, of course it'sies. Sorry, man. No, not available. Yeah, of course it's not. Sorry. And this is an off-air one, the WAN. Can you check that one? Oh, yeah, check that one. Anyway, this guy's number plate reads it's not available.

Not available. I like that. Someone's got a sense of humour about themselves. Or... No, I think that's banned. There's certain ones that you're not allowed to buy. Oh. Which is what this...

Oh, well, this is cool because this is in Australia, so I want you to check if this is available in New Zealand. Okay. Australian barrister with a bright yellow Lamborghini. His plate has been deemed inappropriate. He's arguing that he should be allowed to have the plate on his car. He said it's free speech and the number plate reads... I'm not going to read it out.

Yeah. It's all in capital letters. L-G-O-P-N-R. Legopener. Don't say it out loud. It doesn't mean anything to me. L-G-O-P-N-R. Go sound it out again. Legopener.

Oh, no, No, no! No! I told you. No. But you didn't listen. You kept trying to read it out. Also, that number plate is the opposite of that thing that I just accidentally said. That is literally the equivalent of a desert.

LG, shut up. Bree and Clint. We have some code words on this show which help us navigate certain topics and stay... PG. Yeah, exactly right. And one of our code words is indoor gardening. It's like gardening, except you do it indoors. Yes.

You and your partner. And only adults. It's for adults. Yeah, it's for adults. So I've got some stats here on new zealanders solo indoor gardening habits during lockdown okay are we on the same page we're all under control i am more than a thousand kiwis were surveyed um by an online um very invasive question an online gardening tools oh better homes and gardens No, more like a Bunnings

The power tools and stuff Oh, right For indoor gardening The power section Yeah, the website that specifically sells those to adults Oh, right And they asked them How their solo indoor gardening habits were

Specifically during level 3 and level 4 Okay Of COVID-19 lockdown More locked down. Yeah. So I actually set the mood a little bit. Just a little bit of gardening music. 88% of people admitted were willing to say yes.

During lockdown, I did some solo indoor gardening to get myself through. Got out my potting mix. Yep. And I potted some plants. Popped on some gloves and went for it. 88% of people. Fairly high. 88? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I can see that. And 12% lied. I was gonna

say, and what are the other 12% doing? 38% of people said they were tending their own garden approximately every other day. Pruning and trimming? Yeah. What, every other day? Every other day. So every second day? Yeah. Is other day? Every other day. So every second day? Yeah.

Is that what that means? Yeah, basically every second day. Every second day? Yep. Just fairly frequent. Yeah, I thought that too. Well, I mean, you've got nothing else to do.

38% of people said every second day. 38%? That's quite a lot. Or one in five, that translates to. That's quite a lot. 16% of people admitted that they got

the hoe out every day during lockdown. 16 people. Every day? Every day. The online retailer also said that gardening tools had been flying out

the door. I did read this during lockdown that there'd been a massive increase. And I did read this during lockdown. There'd been a massive increase. And I don't know if they were an essential service or not. So I don't know if anyone was able to man the warehouse. It's an essential service. Well, it was deemed an essential service, especially for that 16% of people who are doing it every single day.

Even if you had the tools to get yourself through that period, I mean, it would be worn out by week three. Sometimes you just need to sharpen your pruners. Exactly right. You know, you need a new set. Exactly right. So if you fit into any of those statistics, congratulations on making it through lockdown and doing what you had to do, I guess.

And also congratulations on telling the truth. Play. Zed in's Bray and Clint. Groovy. Damn, that's skanky. Bake for real in 2021. Cheers to mobile. Giving Kiwis more rewards for more summer adventures.