ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint - Special Edition Podcast – All Things Sexy

Episode Date: December 19, 2018

SPECIAL EDITION – All things sexySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Brianne Clint, the new season starts Jan 14. It's on ZM. I got onto this interesting Twitter thread the other night, Clint, where... God, you're really getting into Twitter, aren't you? I know! There's some good stuff on there. I told you it's good. There's some alright stuff. And people were using the hashtag... Next you'll be retweeting Trump and doing some crazy Kanye tweets. Hey, you never know.

And I got onto this hashtag. People were using the hashtag, what's better than sex? And it's all non-sexual things. And some of the ones I was reading were pretty funny. And as I was reading them, I found myself thinking, yeah, kind of. Yeah. Like some of them were really good. Okay. But some of them that people were riding were leaving work early.

Oh, that's good. Better than six. Oh, it's pretty good. Yeah, it's pretty good. Food in general, pretty good. Pretty good, yeah. What about getting a super close car park? Oh, how good is that feeling?

A new car smell? New car, yeah. I mean, these are all right. They're all right, yeah. They're okay. But you and I were having a think off air about some of the things that we think are probably nearly up there. I've got a few.

Can I set the mood for you a little bit? Yeah, go on. Before you duck into your... So these are things that you would consider... Better than sex. Than sex. Or close to. Sure, go on, hit me.

Depends who it's with. What about doing a wee when you've been really, really busting to go? Oh yeah, that's definitely better. That's good. Can I say this is hugely offensive to the people that we may or may not be having the said sex with. Can I just say these are things that I think are better than sex with me. Right. Gotcha.

I was going to say none of my exes are listening, so I'm in the clear. The wee one, especially if you've been out the night before and you have managed to go the whole night without getting up to go to the toilet. Oh, yeah. That's a good time. What about, you know when you get a new iPhone? Yes. The feeling of peeling that plastic off the screen for the first time?

Oh, yeah. It's a good time. What about getting a seed or piece of food out of your teeth that's been in there for days? Oh, can you start flossing? True, but how good is it when you've been working on it for days and it finally comes out? And there's remnants of three other meals on it too

and you're like, oh. Feel that clean space between my teeth. Okay, non-sexual things that are better than sex. Yep, what else have you got? What about when you're changing lanes on the motorway and you manage to do it unintentionally without hitting any of the rumble bits?

Like you don't hit any of the cat's eyes. OCD people will be absolutely fizzing for that one. Melt into your car seat. Turn the AC down baby because it is steaming up in here. What about taking your bra off at the end of the day? I've heard that's very good.

Oh mate. And especially, wait, if it's a strapless bra. Are they extra painful? They are extra painful. What about one of those stick-on chicken fillet ones? Is that the similar feeling to when you peel the thing off the iPhone? Exactly the same. I wonder if we can take some calls on this.

I'd love to know from people on 0800DALZM, what non-sexual things do you think are nearly as good as sex? Call us now or you can text in. ZDM's Bree and Clint. This afternoon, Clinton, we're asking you the people, what do you think is better than sex? I said, I believe when you're really busting to go to the toilet, you need to do a wee real bad and you finally have that magic moment.

Someone texted in about that one. They said, I 100% agree with you guys on it. They called it a, I think it's okay to say. A what? A pegasm. 100%. It's like that euphoric feeling. People have absolutely flooded the text machine with their thoughts on what's better than sex.

To the point that I don't think anybody even likes sex listening to this show. Keep them coming through, 9696. We should turn it into a list of the best ones. From the text machine, better than sex when Maccas put an extra packet of chips in your order. Oh, yeah. Itching that itch that you've spent a long time searching for. When you get home after spending a whole term at Ngā Tāwa Dio School. Okay, all right.

That's specific. That feeling when you cut into a perfectly ripe avocado. And it's like absolutely pristine. Yeah. There's no brown bits. And it's soft right to the centre. Just enough. Oh, take me.

Oh, yeah. Give it to me. Georgia. Hi. What's better than sex, Georgia? Itching your ear with a bobby pin. Oh, yeah. What about a cotton bud?

A cotton tip? No, a bobby pin's better because you can get it, like, right down the back. All right, that is incredibly dangerous for your eardrum, but... If you've just joined us, we are talking about non-sexual things

that are better than sex. Finding money that you didn't know you had in a pair of jeans. Peeling the plastic coating off literally anything shiny. Because I said iPhone, but you're absolutely right. You can peel it off a heat pump.

Doesn't matter. So good. Food. Just garlic bread. I'm a dairy farmer, and there is nothing better than the feeling of coming home and taking off your gumboots and your socks.

Oh, yeah. And your feet are being kind of moist. All right. Well. Jazz, hi. Hi. Hello, Jazz. What's the feeling?

So I've got three. One is McDonald's, the original chicken nuggets and sweet and sour sauce. Amazing. Yeah. They were good, weren't they? They're amazing. My second one is a hot shower after a long day. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and your fresh pair of Kmart socks.

Kmart socks? Kmart socks. Yeah, Kmart socks or any type of new socks. Yeah, new socks. Any new pair of socks and it's just like that fresh feeling and you're like, oh my God, it's amazing. And you just slip into them and you're like, oh damn. I can't relate to this one. Someone's just texted in and you might agree with it, Jazz.

The feeling of climbing into fresh sheets with shaved legs. Oh my God, I agree. I agree. I love them. Men, if you're listening, if you're listening, you need to try that at least once in your life. Shave your legs. We should do it with you, Clint. You should feel it.

It's amazing. From Carolina on the Tix Machine, when you undo your belt after coming home from a three-course meal and a bottle of wine at the restaurant.

That's me all the time. That's you during the show. That's me in general. What have we got here? What about? I've thought of one. Probably one of my favourite things ever. You know when you've

made plans and you really don't want to go and then they message you and they say, sorry, can't come. Oh, you don't have to be. Oh, yeah. Mike on 0800DALZM, what's better than sex, Mike? I reckon getting discount on

Auckland fuel prices. That, hey Mike, I'm so with you, that gets my motor running, so to speak. fuel prices. Oh, that. Hey, Mike, I'm so with you. That gets my motor running, so to speak. Holy hell. Oh, mate, honestly, cringe. Can you just picture Mike standing at the pump just melting into a puddle? When you whip out the docket and you're like, yeah, give me that discount. That's me, yeah.

Going to a gull and then pulling out like three different forms of discount and then looking out which ones are there. Hell yes. Someone said playing. And then figuring out your saving. Oh, the cabinet and looking out which ones are there. Hell yes. Someone said playing. And then figuring out your saving. Oh, savings. I can't relate to this one. Someone said playing Fortnite Battle Royale and winning a solo match.

That's fine. It's good. Sounds good. Popping. Oh, and this is for the pimple people. They said popping a really full. That's gross. Don't worry.

Still good. Let's go to one more. One more. Nathaniel. What's better than sex, Nathaniel? Oh, getting a win on Fortnite, that is. Oh, there he is. Do you have a girlfriend, Nathaniel?

Yeah, she's in the car beside me. Would she agree or would she hate you playing Fortnite? Oh, well, what do you think? Well, Nathaniel, it probably has to be better than sex because you're probably not having any after that. Bree and Clint on ZM. We're having a discussion trying to figure out the reality of how many times New Zealanders are doing it a month, a week,

on average kind of thing. And by it, we mean vacuum cleaning, you know? The housework. Exactly. Yeah. How often are you doing it? Because people are assuming you're doing it a lot more than you actually are.

I mean, how often are you getting a big hose and sucking things up off? All right, all right, all right. Vacuuming. I thought we were talking about vacuuming. So the stats have come out from a study that in the US, people assume that men are doing it 14 times every four weeks. In reality, it's more like four. And with women, they're assuming it's 17 times every four weeks.. In reality, it's more like four. And with women, they're assuming it's 17 times every four weeks.

And in reality, it's more like six. So on average, we've figured out for men, once a week. For females, just over. Just over. Yeah, 1.25 times a week. I love the reality of how often... 1.5 times a week. Yeah, all right, we get it.

How often people think it actually happens, though. We're going to put it out there and see if we can guess, just by talking to you. What, at all? Should we say this week? Or in the past week? Yeah, okay. All right, let's go with in the past week.

In the past seven days. In the past seven days, we are going to guess. Have you done any housework? If you've done any housework. Kerianne, hi. Hello. Hello, Kerianne. I'm going to go with yes.

I'm going to lock in yes. Kerianne, is it? Your Honour, no further questions. Is it a yes? It is an absolute yes. Yes, it is, Kerianne. Hey, Kerianne, congratulations. You're doing a great job.

Oh, thanks. Of the housework. Enjoy that Dyson. Jade. Hi, Kerri-Ann. Hey, Kerri-Ann, congratulations. You're doing a great job. I think. Of the house. Enjoy that Dyson. Jade. Hi, Jade. Hi, Jade. Hi. Jade.

What do you do for a job, Jade? I'm a cleaner. Oh, well, a hundred percent. In the context of this conversation, we'd have to say a hundred percent yes.

Yes. Unless you've had a week off. No. Do you have a boyfriend? I do. He just got back from Wellington. He had a week off. No. Do you have a boyfriend? I do. He just got back from Wellington. He's a lucky man.

Thank you, Jade. Geordie. Hi, Geordie. Hi, Geordie. Hi. Hi. God, isn't it an unrealistic stereotype that only women are calling to talk about housework? I know, right?

Anyway. Well, considering about three have, I wouldn't say it's unrealistic. Geordie. What did you have for Anyway. Well, considering about three have, I wouldn't say it's unrealistic. Geordie. What did you have for dinner last night, Geordie? I had butter chicken. Oh, I'm going to go with no. Yeah. That's a no.

Definitely not last night anyway. That's a meal. Oh, yeah. It doesn't mean the rest of the week she hasn't, though. I'm going to say yes. Geordie. Yeah, you did. I'm impressed with New Zealand.

I'm loving this chat. And it's also making me feel very bad about myself. Becca, hi. Welcome to the show. Hey, girl. Hey, girl. What part of the country do you live in? Christchurch City, Wilburn

Oh, Christchurch City I'm coming to Christchurch this weekend Yay, come on I'll see you out in the town Oh, Dre, watch out How cold is it down there at the moment? Pardon? How cold is it down there at the moment?

Oh, well, I'm used to it. I can walk around in jandals on a cold day. So she's alluding to the fact that she... I'm a cantabrian all day. I'm used to it. She adapts to her surroundings. And nothing is putting her off. Becca, I'm going to go with yes.

Wrong. You and me both, girl. You and me both. Do you want to take one man? Let's go with one man me both, girl. You and me both. Do you want to take one man? Let's go with one man. Will, hi. Hey. Hey.

Will, how old are you? I'm 23. I need to ask Will, have you played Fortnite in the last week? I haven't in the last week. Then I'm going to go with yes. Then I'm going to go with yes. Then I'm going to say yes. It's a yes. Yeah!

And see, that's what you get when you don't play Fortnite. Hey, congratulations to everyone except Becca. And Becca, happy hunting, mate. And I'll see you in Christchurch this weekend and we can go out and find some stuff to do. Do you remember last week, Clint? church this weekend and we can go out and find some stuff to do. Bree and Clint on Zit-In. Do you remember last week, Clint, it was like at the top of our, like four o'clock, we were sometime, I don't know the reason why, but we got into sexy phone voices. Yeah.

I think I accidentally opened the show with a voice that you found quite attractive. I think I accidentally. Oh, right. Settle down. I think I fell into like a groove and you were like, wow, I've never heard this side Well, I've grabbed the audio., right. Settle down. I think I fell into a groove and you were like, wow, I've never heard this side of you before. Well, I've grabbed the audio. This is what happened.

Okay. Hello and welcome to the Breein Clench Show. Hi. You've reached two degrees. That was nice and approachable way. It just sounds like you. Yeah, I know, right? Do more sexy.

Hi. Full. I remember myself being sexier. We didn't hear enough. We didn't hear enough of your sexy voice. And it made me think, what's Clint's sexy voice sound like? I don't know if it's up to broadcast. Broadcast standards.

Yeah. I thought this afternoon. Hang on, let me say that in a more sexy way. I don't think New Zealand's ready for this. Oh, wow. I don't think the women of New Zealand driving around are safe if they hear this in their car. What if they crash? Are you trying?

No, I haven't done it yet. Okay, cool. Just checking. That's a sexy persona. Just checking. Was that sexy, though? That voice? Yeah. It's a little bit deeper i thought this afternoon we could test out our sexy phone voices yeah and to make it even harder for us this afternoon we've each written each other sentences

that are completely not sexy yeah okay i've got i do have some for you which i want you to read out one first sure and i want to hear because everyone's got it right everyone's got a voice that they can put on do they well we're about to find out okay and if you're listening in your car you're going to get your chance very soon on 0800 dial zm because we want to hear yours this afternoon as well really back their sexy voice some people make a career out of it. Some people have really good ones. Maybe you work for one of those hotlines. Okay, this is what you've written for me. Alright, so this is a sentence I've written for you in your sexiest voice. I haven't seen this before. Okay, here we go.

And I haven't practiced this voice either. Oh God, this could be bad. Here we go. Listen carefully and maybe ladies pull over. Why are you talking deeper already? Because I'm getting down. I just washed the entire sink of dirty, dirty dishes. I used

soap and a scrubbing brush. You sound evil. Oh, okay. Well, you do it then. No, you do it. There you go. To give me that one right there. The top one? Yeah, and I want sexy. I want sultry. I want someone who's going to seduce someone using the

radio. How am I meant to make this sound sexy? Well, that's the challenge. If you've got a sexy voice, you can make anything sound sexy. Oh, God. I can't wait to see you tomorrow night. I would have come yesterday, but I've had a terrible case of diarrhea. Just because you whisper it doesn't make it sexier. Kind of.

Go on, go on with your second one. I want to be like... Think... Yeah. Think... I was going to say David Beckham, but that's completely wrong. That's squeaky. I'm going to vacuum the entire house slowly in my Ugg boots and dressing gown.

I don't know if this says a lot about me, but I found that so attractive. Before we open this up and try and find a true sexy voice, turn that over and give me the last one. What, my last one wasn't good? No, not good enough. Here, smell my perfume. It's the scent of a woman who hasn't showered since sunday oh 800 dials at m do you have a sexy voice i'm sure there's people tell you you have a sexy voice do you have like as your as your does your voice work for you, male or female, in the...

In the industry. In the dating... Could you get a job? 0800 dial ZM. You can't text us on this one. We want you to say one of our sexy phrases. Brie and Clint on ZM. Oh, yeah.

That sets the tone. We're currently on the hunt. Hang on, hang on, hang on. What? Oh, yeah. See, there you go. Yes. What, you think, hang on. What? Oh, yeah. See, there you go. Yes. What, you think this is the sexy voice?

Oh, yeah. Barry Wright. If you missed it, we're on The Hunt for New Zealand's sexiest voice. We've already established that it's definitely not you or me. Oh, someone just texted and said, Wow, Clint, I need to pull over just to listen to you talk about doing housework so sexy. Yeah, because you were talking about housework. I'm going to get the cloudy bits off the shower screen.

Oh, yeah. Tell me more. I'm going to clean my own beard clipping out of the sink. Oh, stop it. It's not about me, okay? We're trying to find New Zealand's sexiest voice. I'm getting hot under the collar. You and I are voice professionals.

Yeah. Let's find some amateurs. Let's find some actual good ones. First up, Laura. Hello, Laura. Welcome to the search for New Zealand's 60s voice. Are you ready for this? I'm not sure if you're ready for this.

You sound like you've got something ready to say for us already. Are you ready for this, Jelly? I'm ready. Yeah, yeah. I totally went over it with Brie just before. But yeah, here we go. Okay. Hey, Brie and Clint.

You're looking pretty saucy today. Laura, does that work on people? I'm not sure, but I may or may not have picked up a few people at the bar because of that. Yeah, you did, Laura. Well, you're the sexiest one so far. Let's try someone else. I love the effort. Ellie.

Hello, Ellie. Hi, how are you? Do you have New Zealand's sexiest voice? Depends. On? Do you want to come over tonight and find out? Whoa! I think that was more the content.

Oh, yeah. The context of what you were saying. You know what you've got, Ellie? You've got confidence. I like the confidence, Ellie. Wait there. Wait there. No, don't put her on hold so you can talk to her later.

No, no. She's in the running. Hayley, hi. Yeah, that's why you put her on hold. Hello, Hayley. It's all on you, okay? Do you have New Zealand's sexiest voice? I feel like I might.

Oh, I can hear you already. There's a bit of husk, a little bit of rust. I'm not even trying. Some deep tones there. I'm just going to change the music for you. You ready? Hang on, hang on, hang on. When you're ready, Hayley.

All right. Seduce the country. Hello, ZM listeners. You're listening to the new afternoon show with Brie and Clint. Oh, that's our promo right there. I thought so. Can we hire you? Yes, you can.

Can you say Monday Clint gets a perm and he's going to look so sexy? On Monday, Clint gets a perm and he's going to look so sexy. Give her the prize. Well done. I'm into it. I'm into it. That's our new sexiest voice in New Zealand. Well done.

Well done, Hayley. Thank you. Thank you. I'm going to go have a shower. Bree and Clint on ZM. Speaker company Sonos, they make like wireless speakers and stuff. Yeah. They've done a study which their data reveals that couples who listen to music together out loud do more, you know, activities together. Adult activities.

Well, that adult activity in particular. Making a baby. Yes, that's exactly what it is. That's what they say, right? You're more likely. You're more likely. If you guys have like a shared playlist and you agree to what's on there, then you're more likely to be convinced to go into the process that results in a baby. Do you have a playlist? Used to have a playlist.

I've got one. Mine hasn't been updated for a while, to be honest. You probably should update it. It's on my laptop. God, it is old. Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah, it's in iTunes. Right. So we thought this afternoon, I wonder what everybody else's songs are.

Let's compile a brain clench show sexy playlist. It's a real glimpse into a bedroom. Well, someone's private life, right? The music that they make, that makes them go, oh yeah, this will work. On the text machine. Pony by Genuine always starts a party in my pants.

Does it really though? Because I hear that one and I think like strip club. I think of Channing Tatum. Yeah. Oh, well, there you go. Yeah. That's for everyone. Do you want to give me a song off your playlist?

This song definitely has been on my playlist for a number of years. I don't know why. This is not the sort of song I was expecting to come up on your playlist. The part where she's like... This part. Alright, yeah. Ariana Grande, Into You. My playlist?

Yep. This song, right here. That's what I had as my second song. Usher Confessions? Yes. No, Usher Climax. Usher Climax, sorry. Yeah. Is this on your playlist as well? That was my second song. Usher Confessions. Yes. No, Usher Climax. Usher Climax, sorry. Yeah.

Is this on your playlist as well? That was my second song. Hang on. Oh, no, that one. This one. Hey, that's cute. We've got the same song. Is it cute?

I don't know. It's kind of weird. Usher Producers. What's on your guys' playlist? Like, if you had a playlist, what would be on it? If I had a playlist? I already know what producer Ben from Christchurch is picking. Do you want to just play it?

Yeah. It's Craig David. It's a Craig David song called Intimate. I've never heard this song before in my life. That's probably because you haven't had that moment with Producer Ben. Yeah, well, there you go. Yeah. I've got Producer Ellie's one here.

Producer Ellie. Should we play it? Yeah, this one gets my head spinning. Oh, listen. Ellie just then was so creepy. She goes, yeah. Yeah. Hey, baby, I want you.

You know what I mean? The way. Yeah. Can't stop those hips from moving. I can just picture Ellie. I can just picture Ellie. I can just picture Ellie in her bathroom in the en suite and her boyfriend Sam's like, what's going on? She just hits play.

She's like, starts moving her hips. She's like... He's like, oh, I know what's happening. I'm coming for you. I'll get some extra towels. Let's put together a group playlist then, shall we? Yeah. What is your go-to song?

0800 Dial ZM The song that goes on your Gets you in the mood On your adults only playlist Yeah, what song are you putting on there? Brie and Clint on ZM Loud Luxury and Brando, that's body That could be on the playlist

It could be on the playlist Wireless speaking company Sonos has put out some research That said couples who have a shared playlist for that are more likely to do it and in turn more likely to make a baby. I do love putting on a playlist. You feel like a little bit like the bedroom DJ though? Yeah, it's a little bit cringe. Here's a little number that's going out to a special lady who I like to call you. You can't help but move with the beat, though.

You know what I mean? We're asking you, New Zealand, what is on your – what's at the very top of your – What's your go-to? Yeah, what's at the top of your playlist? Your adults only. Your adults only playlist, yeah. I, in the break, said, how did I forget this song by Ciara? Put your back into it.

I like it. it's so good. They can wait till we try. Can you not do the hip actions while we listen to that together? Like, I'm happy to put the playlist together with you, but the text machine is going very well, though. The text machine's going ballistic. I love this suggestion from someone by Jason Derulo. They said this song

And the trumpets, they go What's the line in that song? Is it weird that your something reminds me of a Katy Katy Perry song. Yeah. Interesting. Keep Jason Derulo out of the bedroom. Can we keep Jason?

Look, it's your playlist. There's plenty of other good stuff. Also from the text machine, Pussycat Dolls. Anything like this, which is like some very literal instructions. This one's like a step-by-step. I just automatically think of the film clip. Hot. With the chair. Yeah.

You got more? I got more. This one was probably the most popular and it involves a birthday. Jeremiah. We all know this song. Let's just call this birthday. Every person when they wake up on their birthday,

if they have a partner, that's the song they put on, and they just go, huh? Well, huh? No, that's just you. Oh. Well, try it, everybody, if you don't do that. Hey, Dave. Hi, Dave.

Hey, guys. How you doing? Good. You partnered up, Dave? I sure am. Yeah, okay. So what's on your adults-only playlist right at the top, Dave? At the very top, the cheesy, colour Me Bad, I Wanna Sex You Up. Some 90s R&B.

Now, Dave, is this playlist on cassette? It's on the iPod. Oh, yeah. How hot's an iPod Mini? Or a Shuffle? It's not about the size of the iPod. You're doing it for me, Dave.

It's about what you've got on it, I think you'll find. Let's go to... Olivia. Olivia. Hey, Olivia. Olivia. Hello. Hello.

What's on your playlist, Olivia? Take You Down by Chris Brown. Oh, I can't hate this popping, grinding girl tonight. Will never be. Let, yeah, okay. Yeah, that's hot, that song. It's a goodie. It's such a goodie. It is good.

You know what's very similar to Chris Brown and a lot on the text machine has been coming through is Trey's songs. Oh, people love a bit of Trey's songs. This is my favourite, I reckon, for this playlist from Trey. He was just here as well. Anybody who can sing up there is going on this playlist. My friend actually got to know Trey Songz quite well.

What was on his playlist? Not himself. That would be awkward, eh? Imagine you end up with someone like Justin Bieber or Jason Derulo and you go home and then he pops on a little bit of Riding Solo. Justin Bieber, just a silhouette of him in the bathroom. Starts boyfriend, starts clicking. If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go.

Take us home, Teresa. Hi. What is the song that is on your adults-only playlist? I like the song Poetie. Yeah, girl! You hear that? Oh, yeah, got that beat there. I don't think it's safe to play this song.

Not at this time. Not at this time. People are on their way home. Teresa, people are pulling over in traffic. They're driving up the bus lane just to get home quicker now. Hey, Teresa, have a great night. Thank you. All right.

Teresa's going to have a good night after that. Brie and Clint on ZM. Talking about John Mayer who's revealed his number On a Instagram show And we're not saying his phone number No, not his It's a different number Not his golf average No

He's revealed his intimate number And it's over 500 Which, to be honest, when I heard I was kind of like, sounds about right Really? Yeah, it's John Mayer I mean, he's super handsome He wrote body is a

wonderland yeah for that reason because i'm gonna write this song and then i can have sex with anybody i want i'll just i'll meet them and i'll go and i'll say i didn't know who the song was about until i met you we're asking you i know 800 dials m dial zm oh hello quick stroke um how many is a lot? We've got calls. Just before we go to them, I want to give you the list. This is the list of John Mayer's celebrity girlfriends. And this is going to blow your mind.

Okay. Just quickly. Because we said Katy Perry. Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift. Kim Kardashian. Wow. Jennifer Aniston was correct.

Jessica Simpson. Oh, yeah. Jennifer Hewitt. Jennifer Love Hewitt. Oh, okay. Jennifer Hewitt. Jennifer Love Hewitt. Oh, okay. Yep. And Cameron Diaz. He...

Didn't he date Lindsay Lohan as well? Maybe. I don't know. Let's go to these calls. Anton. Oh, we talked too long. We've been warned about that. Let's go to Laura.

Laura, are you there? Yeah. Okay. Sensitive question, but how many do you consider to be a lot? Honestly, I think 10 is like so much. Okay. How old are you? Well, I'm 20, but I've been in a relationship with the same person for about five years.

Right. I have a single friend, and she once told me that she slept with about 11 people, and I was like, oh, my God. Like, that's a lot of people. Is she 20 as well? Yeah, so she's 21. Okay. You've got to think about this, Laura.

What if you get to John Mayer's age, 41, and you're still single, you know? Yeah, I guess so. Like, 10's not even one a year. You know? A year goes for a long time. And girls got to have some fun, you know? Yeah, I'm ready.

But that's fine. That's your number. And it's all relative to what age you are, I think. And it's also interesting when you talk to someone who's been in long relationships. Yeah. They obviously have a different number to what is a lot. A hundred percent.

But then those people who have been in long relationships, they go out and their number goes up very fast. Very true. Because they go, oh God, the make-up was on lost time. Brittany, hi. Hi. What do you think is a lot, Brittany? I think a lot would be anything that's 50 and over.

Okay. And does that go for males and females? I think so. I have heard that I think the average sexual partners in a lifetime is like 28 or 29. Yeah. So it's averaged out over everybody. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. So the John Mayers are really dragging some people's average up. Yeah. I think he may be making up for the people like me and Laura. Yeah. Because, again, I've only been with one person. It's the person I'm married to. Okay.

Wow. Yeah. That's it. She has nothing to compare it to. That's so interesting. Brittany, say you met someone and you really liked them and you guys hit it off and then you found out that their number was 500, like John Mayer.

What do you think? Instant turn off. Fair enough. Okay. No, fair enough. Yeah, that's her opinion. Hey, if everyone's going to share these, no thank you. No, no.

True, true. You've got to have something that's just for you, right? Yeah. All right, of course. Okay. Well, congratulations on a successful relationship. Sarah, what's a lot? I actually had this conversation a wee while ago with my partner,

and I know that back in the day he was a bit of a... Oh, no, you didn't ask, did you, Sam? Sarah, did you tame a stallion? He brought it up, not me. Why would he do that? He was a bit of a player back in the day, so my number is, I think, around 20, and his was 250.

Wow. Oh, wow. And I was blown away. Like we're opposite ends of the scale. So you had no idea, Sarah? I knew he was a player and a bit of a ladies' man. But I just didn't realise for that extent. And for you, Sarah, turn off?

It was a turn off a little bit. Were you worried that if you walked into a room of 30 people, on average, you'd slept with nine of them? Oh. Yeah, we run into

exes all the time. Oh, no. You would be hard to keep track. You'd have to keep a little photo album in your phone. New Zealand is very small.

Yeah. It's a small place. Little black book New Zealand. Yeah. Okay, hey, thanks, Sarah. Oh, good. Okay, cool. What's a small place. Little Black Book, New Zealand. Yeah. Okay. Hey, thanks, Sarah. Oh, good. Okay, cool. What's a lot, Brie?

No, I want you to say first. And I hate... Because I don't like judging anybody who... Okay, yeah, I'm going to say one. I don't want to judge anyone because... Do you have a different number for males and females? No, I'm not going to do it. I'm not dumb enough to say that.

You think I'm dumb enough to go out there and say that? That was a trap. Triple figures. That was a trap. So you're saying? Anything triple figures is a lot. I think we're, yeah. Yeah.

I think I have the same opinion as you. And you're single at the moment? Yep. Roll on number 99. Bree and Clint on ZM. Sensitive ears, if you're listening. I mean, it's not that bad. But, you know, probably not the best thing to be talking about with your children.

Is this an appropriate soundtrack? Yes. Cool. One of my mates says to me last night, what do you think about, you know, during that activity? Oh, when it's on. When it's on. What do you mean, what do you think about?

I was like, what do you mean, what do I think about? Does she mean who do you think about? Like, has she been in a relationship for a while and she's having to, you know that thing that people say they do, you put another face on the body? She said to me, I've thought about one thing in particular for the last 10 years. The same thing? She goes, same highlight for 10 years. Oh, particular moment. I'm not going to say moment.

I'm not going to say person. I'm going to say a particular body part of a person. Okay. Particular body part of a particular person? So picture this. She's been in a relationship for about seven years. Yeah. With a lovely guy.

Yeah. My mate said to me, I don't know why, but anytime we're in the moment. Doing that. Doing that. I always think about Kim Kardashian's boobs. Wow.

Not boobs in general. It's Kim's. It's Kim's. It's Kim's. Breastises. I watched the Keeping Up With The Kardashians episode last night where she finds out about Tristan, where Khloe finds out about Tristan. Oh, no. And can I say, there is a particular body part that almost every member of that family possesses, which I would happily think about for 10 years, and it would definitely get the job done.

I think that's probably what I was more shocked at. I was like, are you sure it wasn't the bootay? The back boobs. No one's calling them that. No one's calling them that. Mate, that's a different thing, trust me. Sorry. Kim K's boobs. Kim K's boobs. Kim K's boobs.

That's it for it. That's what she's... Fair enough. That's what she's pulling out of the highlight reel. What are you thinking about? Sandwiches. No, you're not. No, you're not.

No. There's one thing I'm not thinking about. It's Kim K's boobs. I'm just thinking, stay in the moment. Yeah. So I've heard this, right? Stay in the moment. I've heard this, and we were going to do something else here,

but I think I want to ask, to calm yourself down, what do you think about? Oh, you want to go the other way? Yeah. Mm. Some people. To settle the nerves. Yeah. What are you thinking about To settle the nerves. Yeah.

What are you thinking about to run? What do you think about so you concentrate? To pull on the reins. Yeah. Mmm. I bet there's a lot of

different ones. Sure. We've all heard the dead animal one. Oh. That's true. Who's doing a dead animal? It's true.

God. Dead puppies. Burst into tears in the It's true. God. Dead puppies. Burst into tears in the middle of it. Kills the mood. Why are you crying? Someone on the text machine literally just texting. Yeah. I think about trees.

Bree and Clint on Zit Im. What do you really think about when you're in that moment with someone else and it's getting hot and steamy? Your friend's a girl, yeah? Yeah. And she's been with her boyfriend for seven years. Yeah. She thinks about Kim K's boobs.

Has done for ten years. Good for her. It's good that she has her... Her niche. Her thing. Yep. She knows what works. I would have thought butt.

Impressive that it still works. I would have thought Kim K's butt. You're lying here next to me. I would have thought personality. So you've flipped this around and you've asked a different question. Yeah. What do you think about to kill the mood so you can keep your focus a little bit? That mental stability that sometimes you need.

Because let's be real. That cool drink of water just to really slow things down. I have heard from my guy mates that this is the thing where you have that one thing that you think about that kind of makes you keep focus or kills it a little bit for you. Some great texts. Some really good texts on the text machine. I do math. Usually 16 times tables takes a lot of focus. Imagine if your partner just looked at you and she's like, why are you counting? I'm doing it for you.

Trust me, it's for you. Trust me, I'm doing it for you. What about this? I name the All Blacks back line and the potential interchange. That'll do it. Unless your wife then goes, why do you keep saying Malachi Fikita's name over and over and over? And also, what if you hit Malachi Fikita and the fireworks went off?

That would be real. That would be really awkward. What about this text? Back in the day, I used to think about mowing my grandparents' lawns. Why the grandparents? No, I've heard people include the grandparents before. They're like, grandma, grandma. I'm like, don't bring grandma into this.

What did grandma do? She doesn't deserve this. Keep grandma out of the bedroom. I think my favourite text was this one. Because we said, what are you doing to try and pull up on the reins a little bit? Slow everything down a bit. Slow everything down. This text doing to try and pull up on the reins a little bit? Slow everything down a bit. Slow everything down. This text.

Who's trying to pull on the reins? If I'm not in the moment, my husband will leave me behind. Brutally honest. Brutally honest. I wrote back and said, we were thinking more for the guys. They wrote back. God, wish they would think harder. Whatever it takes you, New Zealand.

Kia kaha. Stay strong. Bree and Clint on ZM. I do love a study. Oh, yeah? When there's a study, it means it's actual real evidence. It depends on sample size, to be honest. No, no, it's legit.

Well, what about when a candy bar company commissions a study and it's like, this chocolate bar company has commissioned a study that says chocolate is good for your teeth. It's like, okay, chocolate bar company. Can I see the scientists that you use? I'm going to choose to believe it. When they're telling me red wine is good for me, I'm choosing to believe it.

There's a study that's been done estimating the average time human beings engage in that. Oh. In a bit of late night play. In horizontal communication. Exactly. Yes. So the average amount of time for how long that lasts when people are doing that. Okay.

You know I'm very interested in this. I'm sure... I think everybody is. I'm sure a lot of people are interested in it. Because everybody wants to know if they're normal, right? Exactly right.

Or if they're an underachiever or an overachiever. And all of us are doing it but then you don't really talk about it that often with mates, do you? And it's cool to brag about... No one's going, man, I get my work done quick.

I am inefficient. It's literally one of nearly the only things where people don't want to be quicker. You know what I mean? Running race, I want to be fast. You know, cooking. Commute, keep it short. Right, keep it short. This?

Drag it out. Or should you? I want to know the stats. So the way they've done the study is they've taken a bunch of people, 500 couples to be exact, from around the world. Good sample size. Yes. Oh, around the world.

So around the world. So this is all over. And they've gotten them to time themselves. I bet there's some like Venezuelan love machines in there. Italianos. They're just like, have you got three days spare? Because I only do it in three-day periods. So apparently, yeah, they got them to time themselves during over a four-week period.

So not just once. So they got the average from all these couples. And then essentially they made a medium. God, they all could start on the stop made a medium. God, that's awkward. Start on the stopwatch each time. I know. How strange. And stop the clock.

And go. Would make you want to race, right? Lap timer. All right, let's go again. Yeah, sorry. Okay, cool. Some of the results, one of the striking results that I took notice was the average across the board.

It ranged from 33 seconds. the quickest to 44 minutes, which isn't that long. Excuse me? 44 minutes? To be the longest out of 500 couples. 44 minutes? I'm just saying. Okay, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I'm not closer to the 33 second mark, okay?

I'm not even going to lie. But 44 minutes? Can I say 44 minutes is not a goal. I'm not looking to work up to that level. I'm expecting 44 minutes. Are you? Oh, at half an hour minimum. What?

Yep. Half an hour? Half an hour minimum. I'm not here Half an hour? Half an hour minimum. I'm not here to lie about it and stroke all the dudes' egos. Guess what, guys? We like it to go longer than six minutes. All right? Can I just say, not all of you.

See? And this is where you're wrong. This is where girls have been lying to you. Anyway, so they've taken it all and they've done the average median time across all the couples yeah okay cool what do you think is right in the middle on the average

oh it's gotta be it's gotta be 25 minutes you'd think so wouldn't you yeah the average time well actually this is big enough

this deserves a drum roll give me one second um yeah cool the average the average across length

of that activity horizontal interaction is 5.4 minutes. There you go. Short and sweet. Get to the point. I'd rather not.