ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint - Special Edition Podcast – #GirlProblems

Episode Date: December 18, 2018

SPECIAL EDITION – Best of our ‘#GirlProblems’See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Brilliant Clint, the new season starts Jan 14. It's on ZM. Hey, it's Wednesday and it's about that time we did some hashtag girl problems. Ah, yeah. Yeah, where I just like to have a whinge about some of the issues that I have, you know, having a uterus and you don't have one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't hold it against me though. No, I'm not holding it against you. I've got to ask for this perfectly functioning, very convenient, non-lunar synced body, you know? There was a lot of big words in there that I didn't understand.

Basically, I'm saying I don't get my period. Right. Yeah. Right. Hey, a girl problem I had this week that I noticed is I was in my room and my washing was outside my room. Yeah. And I had this moment where I was like,

do I just make a run for it to grab some washing naked? Oh, full nudie. Full nudie. Yeah. And, you know, would that be fine? I didn't know if my housemate was there or not. Yeah, risky. You've got flatmates.

I did a nudie. Yeah. And then I thought my housemate was there. Yeah. And then I had this instant panic that we've got three bits to cover. Yeah. You guys only have one bit. Yeah.

So, like, if you were out nudie, it's fine. Just go for that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so it's very hard to cover. And to be honest, most of us only need one hand to cover that too. So you've got a free hand to, like, wave at your flatmates if you see them like, oh, g'day, mate. Sorry, I didn't realise anybody was home.

I just got an insight into too much of your world. We've taken some guys. Yeah, I'll stop talking. We've taken some guys. Yeah, I'd stop talking. We've taken some guys from around the office and they've voiced some hashtag girl problems for us. Here it is. Girl problems. I'll give you a girl problem.

G-strings. Who invented those? Who even wants a piece of string up their bum? Hashtag girl problems. Oh, hello, random nipple here. What's up? Hashtag girl problems. When your day is long.

When someone I'm really into calls me bro. Ugh, mood kill. Hashtag girl problems. Ugh, wore a pair of super high stilettos last night and now I can't feel my foot. Hashtag girl problems. Everybody hurts sometimes. Producer Ben, was that you talking about G-strings?

Yeah, yeah. Have you ever worn one? Yeah, I have actually. Oh my God. I've worn a G-string. Have you ever worn one? Yeah, I have actually. Oh my God. I've worn a G-string. Have you? Yeah. When?

I had to get body painted once. Had to? It was the safest way for the lady to get the paint between my bum cheeks without staring directly into the eye of Mordor. Was it a nude G-string? No, it was black. Sexy. Also, what I took from that girl problems,

you're running a hairy nipple. I personally have never had, and this happens to some ladies, you get a random black hair on your nipple. Yeah. I personally have never experienced it. Hope I never do. But I had to pull one out of my friend's family once.

You're a good friend. Just do my bit, mate. If you're breastfeeding and your baby gets a hair in their mouth, is it like if you get a hair in your food at a restaurant? You're an idiot. This time every... Where's that noise coming from? My Siri started listening to me. Things have fallen off. This time every... Where's that noise coming from? My Siri started listening to me.

Things have fallen off. This time every Wednesday, we like to do a segment called Hashtag Girl Problems where I pretty much just whinge about problems in my life. Yeah. But I try and relate it to the males that listen and we get the males from around the office to voice them and... Give us a deeper understanding of what's going on with you ladies.

Is producer Ellie listening right now? Yeah, she will be. I feel like... Are these my problems or are these girl problems in general, Ellie? Everyone's. All of them? Oh, she can't hear us. No, it's all right.

It's all right. All right, should we just play it? Let's just play it. Let's just play it. Go on, say what it is. This is Hashtag Girl Problems. Alright, should we just play it? Let's just play it. Let's just play it. Go on, say what it says. This is Hashtag Girl Problems. Fake tan and white sheets.

Note to self. Pick one because you can't have both. Hashtag Girl Problems. Just painted my nails and now I really have to pee. Hashtag Girl Problems. When your day is long. How am I meant to be on a diet when they invent things like Uber Eats? Hashtag girl problems. Putting on your straight leg jeans after you moisturise your legs.

What a logistical nightmare. Hashtag girl problems. Everybody hurts sometimes. Is it harder to put on skinny jeans once you've moisturised? Oh my God. I would have thought it would provide the lubrication you need just to... Trust me, they ain't going anywhere. Really?

Don't do it. It's bad. I didn't plan to, but... You didn't? No. Let's shave your legs and then moisturise them and then make you wear skinny jeans. Is it your goal to ruin every hair on my body? Is that what you... Yes. This time every week, Clint, we like to educate some of the males around New Zealand about some of the things us ladies go through. Yeah, you've got to get us woke about what's happening to you guys.

You know when you're putting on your mascara and you sneeze and it goes all up your face? No, I don't. Well, I'm about to tell you about some of those because I've written down some hashtag girl problems and we've been getting some of the guys around the office here to voice them so that guys can relate more because they're hearing it from a male perspective yeah we're very dumb so you need to make it and you need to we're not saying that i'm not saying that i'm just saying you might not have heard these before sure who who have we got doing it today

we've got the security guard who he he stepped up last week and he did one of them. He was a big hit. He was a massive hit. So is he going to do the whole thing? He's going to do the whole thing for us this afternoon. Okay. Here it is, Clint. Hashtag girl problem.

Today I saved the same leg twice and now I'm too lazy to save the other one. Hashtag girl problems. Men cannot understand the real struggle until they've worn a strapless bra. Hashtag girl problems. Just cut my ankle shaving. We've got a bleeder!

Hashtag girl problems. That awesome moment when Facebook keeps auto-tagging my boobs as people. Hashtag girl problems. Facebook literally kept tagging my left boob as my sister. I mean, we are related. More awkward if it was your dad. By the way, I love the security guard. He's great, isn't he?

He's so good. So good. It's Wednesday just after 5.30, so it's time for a bit of hashtag girl problems. Love a bit of hashtag girl problems. Love a bit of a whinge Keeps me in touch with the opposite sex Kind of educates you a little bit

Yeah, broadens my horizons Gives you an insight Yeah Maybe you'll get some Also Yeah Makes me very thankful to be a man A lot of the time

There's a few things us ladies go through That you guys probably wouldn't have even heard of Now today is 125 years since women got the vote things us ladies go through that you guys probably wouldn't have even heard of. Now, today is 125 years since women got the vote, first country in the world. How fitting. Yeah. So we're celebrating that today. So 150.

125 years. 125 years ago. Kate Shepard led the petition, got 60,000 signatures, which was hard to do because you couldn't just put a Facebook link up back then and go, hey, sign my petition to get rid of straws from McDonald's. You actually had to get out there. You actually had to get out there. So 60,000 did a pretty good job. What an amazing achievement, can I say, for this country. The only country that has had three female prime ministers.

Also a great achievement. I just love New Zealand for that reason. I think New Zealand's very, it's a lot of firsts in this country where I think they lead the charge on a lot of things and I think that's great. So what a fitting day to do a bit of hashtag girl problems and if you haven't heard it before, we get some guys from

around the office to voice them because it just makes it funnier. Wearing lipstick for a night out is literally a full-time job. Hashtag girl problems. If a car doesn't have a mirror and the sun visor, I ain't buying it. Hashtag girl problems.

High heels? Like, who invented those? Did someone say, let's come up with the most uncomfortable thing ever to put on a foot? And high heels were created? Hashtag girl problems. Putting on your skinniest pair of skinny jeans after the winter season. Hashtag struggle. Hashtag girl problems. Everybody hurts sometimes

I mean, if it was 125 years ago, one of them would have been, oh, when are we going to be able to vote? Hashtag girl problems. Well, then I'd say today, because that's the day you got the vote. Exactly. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Should have said 126 years ago. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Should have said 126 years ago. God damn it. Bree and Clint. Bree and Clint on Zit Im. Look at the time.

It's Wednesday. It's about nearly six o'clock. We've got to talk about some hashtag girl problems. Oh, yeah, good. We do this every Wednesday where I pretty much just have a whinge about some of the stuff we go through as ladies. Yes. You know what one thing I haven't talked about in this segment? Yeah. day where I pretty much just have a whinge about some of the stuff we go through as ladies. Yes. You know what one thing I haven't talked about in this segment?

Yeah. But is if you're a girl or a woman, peeing in the wilderness, not so easy. Peeing in the wilderness. Whereas I think for men, not a hard task. I thought it was easy, but not if you couldn't hide yourself. No. Like I thought as long as you could whip the pants down, then from there the process is easy, but it's just you don't want to be seen because your pants are fully removed.

No. Oh, really? It's never easy. Like if you're- I also heard another one the other day that you guys can do it standing up, but you choose not to. Well, I mean, do you want me to test that? I've never tried.

You should use the men's urinal. Should I? Should I just? Can you imagine if someone walks in, it's just me trying to wee into the uniral? Urinal? Can you say that word? Urinal.

There you go. There we go. I've never used one. Yeah, true. Maybe don't use the work one then. No, it is very difficult as a female, if you don't have like a toilet to use to do a wee.

It's really difficult. Something to practice in your spare time. Don't do it on concrete. Splashback. Not good. Anyway, let's play because we've got some of the guys from around the office to record some of these. Yeah.

And here it is. Hashtag girl problems. Today I cried in countdown when I heard One Direction Perfect come over the speakers. Damn you hormones, damn you. Hashtag girl problems. Wax this, wax that, wax, wax, wax. Why couldn't females just be born bald everywhere? Would be much easier.

Hashtag girl problems. When your day is long. I have a small yet powerful celebration every time I realise I'm not wearing eye make-up and can rub my eyes freely. Hashtag freedom. Hashtag girl problems. Everybody hurts sometimes You know I've never considered that eye makeup one before?

Oh my God, it is so good. Are you wearing eye makeup right now? Yes. So you can't rub your eyes? I cannot rub my eyes. Because the makeup will go on your eye or because it'll ruin your makeup? It'll both. It's a disaster zone.

We don't know how lucky we are, fellas. We really, really don't know how lucky we are, fellas. We really, really don't. Count your blessings. Bree and Clint on Zit-In. It is Wednesday and it is that time. It is Wednesday, my dudes. Where we like to, or I like to, have a bit of a whinge about being a woman.

And this morning I was whinging to you and I said, I'm so sick of going to the doctor just to get a script for a pill. This is some perspective for me. This is actually a legit complaint from being a woman. To me, the head of women's issues? Yes. Lay it on me. Yes. So I'm a woman. The women's commissioner they call me. I need to be on birth

control because I've got certain issues so I actually need it for my health. Not for birth control. It's actually other stuff. So I need this thing. I need it for my health, not for birth control. It's actually other stuff. So I need this thing. I need it every six months. They only give me a script that lasts six months and every time I go to the doctor, it costs me $75.

I walk in there, I say I need a script, he writes the script and then I walk out $75. He doesn't even do anything. Yeah, well, doctors don't drive Audis for no reason. No, that was a mean comment. It's BS. That is BS. You know?

I don't have to deal with that. No. No. You don't have that whole baby maker in you. Hey, I've got a baby maker on me. Oh, true, technically. You don't have the baby cooker. No, I don't have the baby oven.

You don't have the baby oven. I've just got the baby tongs. I don't know. Turkey baster. Anyway, we get some of the guys from around the office here to voice some of the hashtag girl problems.

I've never found anything good in a Zara store, but whenever I ask someone where they got their clothes, they always say Zara. Hashtag WTF. Hashtag girl problems. Sorry I'm late. I had a shower and then sat on my bed in a towel for an hour.

Hashtag girl problems. When your day is long. Online shopping is so convenient until you have to move your whole body to where your bank card is. I mean, what a hassle. Hashtag girl problem. Has anyone's crush actually ever liked them back? Hashtag girl problems. I've got 99 problems, and I'm pretty sure most of them were caused by drunk me at the Christmas party last weekend.

Hashtag girl problems. Everybody hurts sometimes. That Zara one is an everybody problem. Is it? Actually no, I don't like Zara.

I love on the text machine. I think Zara's a bit shiny. Someone on the text machine says Bree sounds like Fletch.

Because he complains about everything. Oh, I thought because Fletch was on birth control. I was like, whoa, scoop. That too. Fletch and I do get along, so. Bree and Clint on Zit Im.

Look, it's come back around to that time of the week. We haven't done it for a few weeks. We got Drax Project to do it last week where we do a hashtag girl problem. These are some of the issues that us ladies go through and trust me, I've had my fair share this week. After the weekend that you and I had, I wore heels all day on Saturday to the cup and show in Christchurch. I've seen your feet too.

They look like chubby little sausages. Mate. Where the skin's peeling off. I've got blisters on blisters and my feet are so swollen. I don't know if any other ladies have this problem when they wear heels, but my feet are swollen for days after. Do you know if the girls at Christchurch Cup and Show will have that problem because I saw most of them had their heels off by 12.30.

See, I look at it as a challenge. If anything, they might have dirty feet. Yeah, true. Well, I look at that as a challenge. You need to keep your heels on until at least four o'clock. Four o'clock? Four o'clock. Yeah, okay.

That's the limit. What about a wedding? When can they come off at a wedding? After the main. Oh, yeah. After the main. Leave them under the table, hit the dance floor? Yeah, I think you're good after that.

Cool, cool, cool. But we get some of the guys around the office here to voice them just so it makes it more relatable for everyone listening. Here we go. Hashtag girl problems. Washing my hair and then having to pull a ton of it out of my butt crack. Hashtag girl problems.

When I say Netflix and chill, I mean Netflix and chill. Stop trying to kiss me. Watch this 9-11 conspiracy theory doco or leave. Hashtag girl problem. Who came up with the idea of painting our fingernails and our toenails? Like we didn't already have enough bloody maintenance? Hashtag girl problems. Yeah, a partner would be nice.

But I'm already in a relationship with alcohol and making bad decisions. Hashtag girl problems. I'm so sick of faking orgasms. Yes, we fake them. Hashtag girl problem Everybody hurts Sometimes I've gotten to the point, Clint, where I'm so old

I don't fake anything anymore I'm too old There's no point faking it when you're by yourself God damn it Are you faking it for... It by yourself god damn it are you faking it for brie and clint on zidim it's gonna be somersault speaking of downhill um a girl during you know certain times of the month we have struggles okay actually all the time all right we've got struggles all the time yeah no like clint let me let me like let you in Do I want to be let in? When it's a certain time of the month.

Yeah. Like, my pants don't fit that well. Like, you bloat. Yeah, yeah, okay. That's a girl problem. We're talking about, like, a couple of days after payday, eh? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When you can actually afford to eat. Yeah, gotcha, yeah, cool. No, we like to inform the people of New Zealand about some of the girls' struggles we go through. Yeah. And we get the guys around the office here to help out and they voice them. Makes it funnier.

And this is Hashtag Girl Problems. You know that saying, one second on the lips, forever on the hips? Yeah, they weren't lying. Hashtag Girl Problems. Got a fancy event to attend. My boyfriend just pulls out the same suit he's worn to the last three weddings we've attended. Not me though.

I won't dare be caught in the same dress I wore to Aunt Julie's wedding four months ago. Bye bye money. Hashtag girl problems. When your day is long. Girl problem? I'll give you a girl problem. The toilet lines at every single event that has more than 10 women attending. Hashtag girl problems.

Just got to the gym. No hair tie. Hashtag girl problems. Everybody hurts sometimes. You know how close I was to wetting myself at the Pink concert last night? As a man at a gig, you feel like such a VIP as you breeze past the queue, the endless queue of women who you can tell are busting and just walk into your man's one.

What are you going to do? You can't turn in and go, do you want to come in here with me? Because that's not going to help, is it? Mate, last night I would have given it a go. Bree and Clint on ZM. Special guests in the studio. First time as well. Please welcome Sian and Matt from Drax Project.

Hello. Good to be here. Wow. How are you guys? That's your single Toto Not quite That's a good joke hey Why'd you stop it? I only had a little bit of it Play the real one Good to have you guys here What a huge time of year for you Take a little step into the unknown

Good to have you guys here. What a huge time of year for you. Yeah, it's pretty huge up in here. Let's start with tomorrow. You're nominated for what? For New Zealand Music Awards. Have you guys got your outfits picked out? Yeah, I own a suit for the first time in my life.

This is the first time you've bought a suit for the musical. Well, I had a suit when I was young, like a cheap suit. I feel like you've gone green velvet for some reason. No, I haven't. No? That would look good, though. Red velvet. We've gone classic.

We've gone pretty classic. We're all in black suits. Oh, cool. So matching. I gave it away. Was it meant to be a secret? No, not at all. Let me ask you guys Drax Project

a question about the awards you nominated You're up for Single of the Year and this requires a bit of confidence Do you have the Single of the Year?

If people think so then we'll take it Honestly, the other songs that are nominated are some of my favourite songs That's not the confidence you need to take this out I'll try you again

You're nominated for Best Group Are you the best group? If someone thinks we are, then we're not. They like to be humble, Clint. You're nominated for breakthrough artist of the year. Are you breakthrough artist of the year? We tried to break through.

We'll find out tomorrow. You guys are also going on tour this summer. You're going to all the hot spots. I thought rather than I tell you where you're going or you tell us where you're going, we'll get Bree, who's new to the country. Why do you do this to me every... She doesn't know any of these places.

She's never done a Kiwi summer. You should definitely come to all the shows then. I'll come on tour. I'd be a good groupie. Okay. Pipe girl. There are three main shows and I'd like you to tell New Zealand

where Drax Project are going this summer and when. Well, there's a big show happening at the Tavern on December 27. Which tavern? The Coru Glen. Coru Glen. Yeah, that's right. I think that's Coromandel Shorten, so I'm pretty sure that's just Coru Glen.

Coru Glen. I'm pretty sure. Cool. That's going to be a ripping show. January 3rd, that's going to be huge at Butler's Reef, New Plymouth. Oh, that's a mouldy one. No, it's not. It's Buat a Māori one. No, it's not. It's Buatla's Reef.

No, it's not. Whatever. That is not even close. No, it's not. That's Butler's Reef. January 5th is going to be probably the biggest show of all of them. This is what I'm looking forward to you saying. It will be at Waihi Beach Hotel.

Yes. Waihi Beach. I'm going to be Kiwi yet, everyone. Well done. We've converted them. Nailed it. Before you go,. I'm going to be Kiwi yet, everyone. Well done. We've converted them. Nailed it. Before you go, there's also something else that we do on a Wednesday. On a Wednesday, we like to get some of the guys from around the office

to voice some girl problems that we like to have a whinge about every now and then. We thought because you're touring and you're going to be massive at the festivals, we've written some hashtag festival girl problems and we'd like for you guys to read them out like it's your having the problem. Yeah. No.

Do you understand? I understand. So we just read. So in front of you, you're going to do two each. Oh, this is true. The first one's true. Oh, my goodness. I bet you guys can relate to this.

Festival toilet lines. Are we going? Hang on, we've got to kick this music in. We've got to kick the music in. Okay. And go for it. Festival toilet lines. The only time I've ever wished

I had a male reproductive organ. Hashtag festival girl problems. Nailed it. Just met a hot guy in the mosh pit, but dancing for six hours. Don't say that. Equals a disco female reproductive organ. Hashtag festival girl problems.

Who knew Drex Project was so PG? I know. Kate, you've got one more each. I just want to dance my ass off, but wearing nipple covers as a top doesn't provide great support. Hashtag Festival Girl Problems. That's how I nearly put my back out once.

And you've got those black eyes. Two. Girl problems. That's how I nearly put my back out once. And you got those black eyes. True. Just had to take my super cute play suit off in a portal loop. Now it's covered in urine. Hashtag festival girl problems. I just, yeah, I mean, that sucks. You nailed it, guys. That would really suck.

You guys really nailed that. That has actually happened to me before. Yeah. Congratulations on everything. Really good luck for tomorrow for the VNZMAs. Thank you. We want to see you up there four times, really steamed and really embarrassing yourself again. I'm going to see Sian in the mosh pit.

Drax Projean, everybody. Quarter to six on a Wednesday. It's about time for some hashtag girl problems. Oh yeah. I enjoy a girl problem. You do? Yeah. Do you feel like you've learnt anything? Learning, perspectivising. Is that a word?

Don't know. Just really getting an appreciation for the world that I live in. You know what is a hashtag girl problem for me? What's that? Why the hell is every T-shirt these days that they're selling in shops a crop? Oh, you don't rock a crop. Mate, I ain't getting my rig out. I ain't getting my stomach out. I ain't getting my stomach out.

Where's the normal t-shirt? Isn't a crop top about empowerment, though? Isn't it about going, girl, just wear whatever stomach you have? Yeah, but on me, I'm nearly, I'm what, 5'10"? It's not a crop. It's a sports bra. Bree, under boob is not appropriate for the office. I'm like, it's a crop.

It's a crop top. It's very on trend at the moment. What am I meant to do? So we get some of the guys from around the office here to voice some of the hashtag girl problems. So it makes it funnier. Here it is. Hashtag girl problems.

Why is there always plenty of shampoo left, but never any conditioner? Damn you conditioner, you floozy hair product. Stop spreading yourself so thin. Hashtag girl problems. Hi uterus, sit down, be humble. Hashtag girl problems. When your day is long.

Do you think one of Jay-Z's 99 problems was strategically thinking of ways to squeeze into a pair of high-waisted skinny jeans after winter? Probably not. Hashtag girl problems. I went on a date once where I had to hold in that many farts that I felt sick. Hashtag girl problems. That last story about the date and... The farts? and holding them in.

I was so gassy that night. You know there's new research that's been done that suggests if you hold in a fart, it comes out your mouth. I'd believe that. I'm not joking. It seeps out your pores and comes out on your breath. This is just what scientists say. I really do talk shit, don't I?

Brianne Clint. The new season starts Jan 14. It's on ZM.