ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint - Special Edition Summer Podcast 7

Episode Date: December 11, 2019

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello there, welcome to the incognito mode version of the Bree and Clint podcast. Today's podcast is not safe for work. Oh, is that what that acronym stands for? NSFW. NSFW. What did you think it stood for? I don't know. I thought it was like something to do with New South Wales.

Oh my god. Oh my god. You know what, no, fair enough. So all these articles you've been reading You're like warning this is New South Wales I've never seen that acronym before Have you? No

Very popular Yeah quite a common one On Reddit Everything The internet No never seen that before Ben what constitutes NSFW for this podcast? Orgasms

Porn So why didn't this end up in the sexy edition? Too much Ben, what constitutes NSFW for this podcast? Orgasms, porn. So why didn't this end up in the sexy edition? It was too much. Too much. Have we done too much? Have we done that much dirty stuff? I just split it. Sexy's like, oh, that's a bit sexy.

Are we doing a butt stuff podcast? There's butt stuff in here. What do you, yeah, raw dog podcast. What do you guys think has been the loosest slash dirtiest content we've done this year? It's in here. Oh, $800 in them. Did you do porn? Oh, yeah.

That's not that bad. That's good, though. We did have someone who called up and they had, right? Spoiler. One person. I don't know. I'm trying to get people to listen to the podcast. And because I haven't actually listened to the full file, obviously because I trust myself that much,

but one of the files is, will Bree ever make porn? And we will delve into that in this podcast it's retrospective so you need to listen to it as did brie ever make porn because shut up if anyone if anyone in our team were to make porn it'd be you look at your mustache it's've got a big I don't I'm clean and here's the podcast release from Zinniams brain plant they're not safe for work podcast you know when you hear about a life hack and just go oh my god how have I never thought about that one before? Yeah. Like how you can take the rubber bit at the top of the Makona jar

and keep sugar in there as well. And then your sugar and your coffee are in the same place. When I heard that one for the first time, I was like, whoa. Wait, I'm confused. Oh, you don't know about it? No. Yes, I do know about it. In the top of the lid.

In the top of the Makona lid. Yes. There's like a bit there for your sugar that goes with your coffee. Brilliant. Look at producer Ben. He's just learning that. You've just learned it? There you go, mate.

He was this many years old when he learned that. Got another one for you that has taken the internet by storm today, which is a wee bit controversial, but innovative nonetheless. Now, listen up, parents Particularly the mums Right This is, obviously this is not going to be appropriate for everybody But one day if you have babies Maybe you'll use this

Or maybe it's, maybe it's not okay If your baby has congestion You've got to like move, I think I don't know much about babies You've got to move the like mucus from the back or something Yeah, you're meant to pat them on the back. There's one mum who has used a household item to help that process along with her baby. Now, the item she's used is from her personal collection.

Her very personal collection. Her very personal collection. Probably the collection that she keeps just next to the bed in the drawer. I'd say top drawer. Top drawer. Top or second drawer. Maybe in the undie drawer. Yeah. But not in the front of the undie drawer.

No. Look, it's not a shameful thing to have. It has a really good feature where it vibrates. Sounds a lot like this. It's an electric toothbrush. No? It's a downstairs electric toothbrush. Yes.

She's got it and she has turned it on and popped it on the baby's back. And the vibration is soothing and also helps to dislodge whatever congestion the baby has in its back. It's brilliant. She's a good parent because she's done what her baby needs and she's a problem solver. Way less work. However, she's taken a photo and she's put it on facebook now one day this kid is not going to be a kid anymore it's going to be an adult and he's going to go because you've

got to remember this facebook is around for the rest of our lives it's going to go i wonder what mum was like back in the day i wonder what kind of baby photos Might go back to 2019 and see what she was doing. What was she up to? And there, for the whole world to see, is a picture of you with your mum's special toy on your back. Better living, New Zealand. A special release from ZM's Brain Clint. The Not Safe for Work podcast.

Rubble Wilson has been offered what some people would consider the dream threesome. She is starring in a new movie alongside Liam Hemsworth. It's called Isn't It Romantic and it comes out on Valentine's Day. She's done an Instagram post about it and she said, my movie comes out on Valentine's Day, go and see it with someone. I've never had a Valentine's Day date, she said. Miley Cyrus jumps on the post and she goes, oh my God, you should date us. So then you've got this rendezvous between Miley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworth and Rebel Wilson.

Amazing. Ka-ching, baby. Can you just imagine Rebel Wilson being like, how did I get here? Well, maybe Rebel Wilson is your number one in that threesome as well. She's a good time. Liam, as the guy in the middle of it, is probably going, what is going on? Get a bit of everything.

I've set you a challenge today. I said to you, if you could create your dream three-person… Rendezvous. Yeah, play date, who would it be? Who would you put in it? You've got a shopping list of the whole world. It's so hard. That's like saying you can go to the buffet,

you can only have two things. I don't want to have two things. I want to have everything. You want to have everything on the list. Well, you can't, but you can have two things I don't want to have two things I want to have everything You want to have everything on the list Well you can't But you can have two In this hypothetical world You can have two

Okay Have you done yours? Yeah but it wasn't easy I feel like I could pick maybe No you can't No I can't? No

Tell me what yours is I've literally This is not something I've sprung on you We've both had four hours to think about this Yeah and now I don't? No. Tell me what yours is. Literally, this is not something I've sprung on you. We've both had four hours to think about this. Yeah, and now I don't know if I'm happy with my decision. Yeah. You know, where you second guess yourself. Well, don't worry because it's not actually going to happen.

But. But. Hey, mine could. Could it? Maybe. I thought I could be. You put it out into the universe. I could be strategic.

Yeah. And I could pick a couple put it out into the universe. I could be strategic. Yeah. And I could pick a couple that way, like Rebel Wilson, because they're a couple, more likely to happen. A couple is more likely to bring you in? Yes. Have you gone with Channing Tatum and Jessie J? Yeah. I knew I could pick yours.

Okay. Who did you think mine was? I was thinking something like Nigella Lawson and someone. Oh, yeah. Oh, see, now you're on board. Yeah. Maybe Nigella Lawson. Nigella Lawson and Jeremy Wells.

Oh, that is a spicy meatball. That is a good time if I ever did hear one. I didn't come up with that, unfortunately. I really got stuck in my head on this one. Because straight away, you go to who do you have the biggest crush on in your whole life? And for me, for the last probably 10 years, it's been Katy Perry. Right. And so I go, and I've got unfinished business with her.

After I met her and I couldn't speak, I literally was completely tongue-tied when I met Katy Perry. And then Russell Brand, her ex, could join. Unresolved business. But then I thought that it would happen, and then the same thing would happen. Imagine me there, tongue-tied, stage fright. You'd be horrible. I'd be in the cupboard watching the other two.

You'd be that weird lurker outside in the cupboard. And then you go, who's really hot? And you go through the Jessica Bills and the Miranda Kerrs and the Rihannas and the CeCes from New Girl Girl and you just go, same problem. I don't, like, you show up to the big dance and you'd be too scared. So what you're thinking, oh, I think pick an older lady maybe and she will make you feel a bit more calm. This is what I've gone with.

Someone nice and approachable. And I'm not saying I've done a good job here. Susie Cato. The Trivago girl. The Trivago girl. The Trivago girl? Yeah. Well, she's nice. Okay, that's one person.

Yeah. Oh, you've really. And then I thought I'd quite like to be the best looking guy in the situation. But who do I want to meet? Because this is a good opportunity just to meet someone that you really like. Okay. So I went with Will Ferrell. I think the weirdest part about this is that you picked a man.

Yeah. Well. Could have picked two girls, mate. Could have picked two girls. Look, it's hard. No, you've picked now. You've picked. Lock it in.

All right. A special release from ZM's Bree and Clint. The Not Safe for Work podcast. I asked you a question just before. Is it okay to make fun of someone's name if they're a criminal? I don't know. It depends on the crime. Well, I don't know her crime, but she's on the run from the police.

It's a woman. She's on the run from the police for breaching her probation. Okay. So we don't actually know why she was on probation, but she's on the run. Also, does it help? Can we make fun of her name if she doesn't live here? She won't hear it. Depends. I don't know. I'm cautious. The state of Virginia is currently pursuing a 34-year-old woman whose name is, I'm going to spell it.

I'm going to spell it and you're going to write it down, okay? And you can tell me what you think it says. All right. Do this in the car if you can too. Her name is C-L-E. C-L-E. T-O-R. T-O-R.

I-O-U-S. Oh, my God god Are you joking? Write it all down I-O-U-S C-L-E-T That's not her name Last name Aretha Fry Tell me what her full name is

I thought you were going to say her last name is Urethra Tell me Tell me Tell me what Tell me Tell me phonetically How do you say that name? Okay, come on Erythra. Tell me, tell me, tell me what, tell me, tell me phonetically, how do you say that name?

Okay, come on, keep it together. Clitoris. Come on. It's a real name. The Virginia Department of Corrections. I don't know another way that you could say that. The Virginia Department of Corrections have Facebook posted her mugshot next to her full name. Oh, well, no wonder they can't find her. Yes.

Virginia can't find clitoris. I'm done for the day. I'm going home. What's her nickname? I'm out. A special release from ZM's Bree and Clint. The Not Safe for Work podcast. So Andy Murray, the tennis player, is going viral at the moment

because he uploaded a picture of himself in hospital. He's had his hip joint resurfaced. Oh, he's had it replaced. Yeah, he's had like a ball thing put in there. He's had a full hip replacement. Yeah, he's put up a picture of him in bed and then he's also put up an x-ray of his hip with the new joint in there. And you can really see the new hip joint, can't you?

You can really see a lot of things, including, look, let's not beat around the bush, his Frankenbeams. Laid there, flat on the x-ray table, and you can see the outline of Andy Murray, tennis pros, stuff. Do you reckon he knew? You can see his racket and tennis balls.

Yeah, you can see the whole lot, the whole shebang. When he uploaded it, do I think he knew? Yeah. I do. I think it's like those people who, you know when they put up like trade me listings and it's like a toaster or a mirror or something. And they're naked in the reflection. Yeah, what the hell.

They're doing it so someone will notice. What this does though is it undermines my faith in x-rays. Because up until now, you know when you go through an airport one and you've got to put your hands up, you step in that go through an airport one and you've got to put your hands up, you step in that thing and the thing spins around you? Yeah. They've always said that those are completely private and they can't see stuff. I call BS.

What do you mean? But if they can't see stuff, why are they doing it? I reckon that every time you have an x-ray, they can see your junk. I reckon every x-ray you've ever had, the person who did the x-ray can see your genitals. Right. I want to find out we're gonna boobs count well actually that's a good question are boobs genitals i don't know can you see do you want to know if you can see boobs because we can find out yeah let's let's give it a go okay we're

going to call uh auckland radiology group and just ask once and for all can you see my stuff when i have an x-ray? Okay. Afternoon, Uncle Mateology speaking. Hi, my name's Clint. I've just got a question about the x-ray process. Okay, I might be able to help you. When someone has an x-ray, can you see their, you know, stuff? I'm not quite sure what you mean.

Like, can you see their bits? Can you see their private parts? Well, it depends on what you're doing the X-ray for. To look at the pelvis? Yeah, okay, yeah, let's say pelvis or hips, yeah. I'm not quite sure what the concern is. Do you have a concern with that area? Well, no, I just saw Andy Murray's just put up his X-ray, the tennis star, and you can clearly see his genitals in the picture.

And so I'm just wondering, all the pictures of mine that I've shown people, my x-rays and stuff, have they also been able to see my genitals? Well, I suppose it depends on how... Depends on what? Depends on how what? Well, I suppose it does depend on your ability of what you can see. And I mean, if you're showing people something to do with your bones, then they'd be looking at that, wouldn't they?

Okay, yeah, true. We'll just settle it like this. If it's a bigger piece of equipment, is it more likely to show up on an X-ray? No, not necessarily. Right, so the small one. No, I mean, it does depend on what they're looking at. If they're doing an X-ray of the pelvis, then that's what they show. Right, okay.'s what they show. Right. Yeah.

Okay. And what about boobs? Yeah, so, I mean, if you're having a chest X-ray, I mean, there'd be a certain amount that would show. Yeah. But generally, you know, people look at the reason why you're having an X-ray. Yeah. Are you concerned about your friends looking,

or are you concerned about a doctor looking? I'm more interested in, like, the airport ones. When you go through those, can the person who's checking my bags, can they see all my stuff when you walk through that x-ray machine? I think you'd probably have to talk to them at the airport about that. I don't think they would even be looking. What they're looking for is metallic objects, so the x-ray doesn't go that deep.

Yeah, okay. All right, hey, that was really helpful. Thank you so much. Okay, bye. Bye. Bullshit, they're not locking. So it's a no. No, it's not.

There's definitely a yes. She said the airport one doesn't go that deep. She doesn't. They're definitely having a lock. They only see the bones. They don't go deeper than that. Which bone? We don't know.

A special release from ZM's brain plant. The Not Safe for Work podcast. These days, everything has to be sponsored. You want to make something happen, you need money, you need to bring a sponsor on board. And the world is changing because a French rugby club has just announced that their main sponsor for the season will be a porn website. They're getting their team sponsored by porn. That's interesting. What team is it?

I think you're going to ask what website is it? Well, that was my next question. Well, the team I haven't heard of they're called US Casserone. Okay. Professional rugby team in France. And they will be sponsored

by the website Jackie and Michelle. Okay, so it's not like Pornhub or anything. What's that? It's a website. Is it? Oh, yeah, mate. All right.

You use RedTube. I wouldn't know. I haven't been to those sites. Don't lie on the radio. Swear on your mum's life. Do not bring my mother into this conversation. I find it interesting, though interesting though that because they're not the only ones too there's a um uh washington-based football team who are sponsored by

what was the other one you said red tube red tube yeah they're actually sponsored by red sponsored by red tube so on their strip it says red tube yeah and that's i guess it's just the future but i don't know if it's that bad like Because you know how there has to be a brand alliance? There has to be a reason why you're sponsoring. You have to have some kind of brand parallels. And I think there could be. They like hot, sweaty men. They like hot, sweaty.

That is a perfect example of what I'm talking about right there. Yes. And you look at how rugby works. One team will obviously come first. Yes. They love to play with balls. That's absolutely right. And the other team will get shafted.

That's great. Lots of... Scrumming. Scrumming. Yeah, lots of man-on-man action. Scrum, yep. Yeah, yeah. They love to put it between the posts.

Yeah, they put it between their legs a lot too. Yep. Lots of ball handling. Lots of balls being handled during the game. Yeah. Lots of... What else? Tackle.

You get to see a lot of tackle. Yeah, you get to see a lot of tackle in both. Plus, at the end, there could be a come from behind victory. So... All great stuff maybe that's the future right maybe we need to get what did you say

Pornhub Pornhub obviously I've never been to that site get them on the front of the All Blacks yeah get them on the front of the All Blacks I was going to say sponsor our show

caught up with a lot of mates over the weekend in Melbourne and I was talking to one of my friends who was telling me about this new thing The Not Safer Work podcast. Caught up with a lot of mates over the weekend in Melbourne. Yeah. And I was talking to one of my friends who was telling me about this new thing that she's doing for herself. Oh, yeah. Some self-love. Some self-love. Yeah.

And usually. That's all the rage right now. It is. Invest in yourself. Yeah, and why not? Yeah, I agree. Why not? She was telling me that. It's a very trendy.

It's a very opportune time. If you are looking to do something selfish, now's the time. Pass it off as self-love. Yeah, why not? I just needed an iPhone X. Usually this would be. For my health. This would be something you'd do with a partner, but she doesn't have a partner.

Yeah. So she's decided to go by herself. You do you, Gil. Yeah. It's a class. How am I decided to go by herself. You do you, Gil. Yeah. It's a class. How am I going to get around this? I'm excited to see how you do get around that. You'd call it an adult pleasure class.

Where you can go, you can learn about the human body. No bananas involved in this class. Gotcha. Hang on, why no bananas? Was there a reference to? That's a reference to usually, you know, sex class, they'd have a banana and a... Oh, oh, oh, you mean like school sexy?

Exactly. Oh, oh, oh, oh. This is like the adult... So this is not the science, this is not the reproductive side, this is purely the pleasure side. Exactly. Ah. So this is not the science, this is not the reproductive side, this is purely the pleasure side. Exactly. So there's a couple in Sydney who have started up this business and apparently it is booming.

We can sign up for these classes where you go along and they first give you a lecture about the certain erogenous zones. Male or female? Both. Okay. Mainly female, I think. What do you think about people who say your earlobes are an erogenous zone? zones? Male or female? Both. Okay. Mainly female, I think. What do you think about people who say your earlobes are an erogenous zone?

For some people they are. Really? Yeah. Producer Ben is nodding way too furiously. You've got erogenous earlobes. You like that? You're getting your hair washed by the hairdresser and he just glances at your earlobe. That's good stuff. Sorry, carry on. So they teach you about the zones.

They give you a lecture and they point out different spots and subject matter. Yeah. And they then, how am I going to get around this? Yeah. They then, as a couple, because they're a couple teaching the class. Yeah. Practically teach you some of the things you've just... Sorry, what? They demonstrate on each other?

Yes. Wow. Okay, okay, okay. Stop giving me weird faces. So, how many people are in these classes? So... Because a smaller, more intimate class, I think, would be weirder than if it was like Stop giving me weird faces. So, how many people are in these classes? So. Because a smaller, more intimate class, I think, would be weirder than if it was like a group of 30. And what's the location?

Is it at their house or is it like a town hall? I'm not. Because I don't know which one's weirder in that situation either. So many questions. So many questions. So, there's usually about 10 to 12 couples in a class of about 25 people. Yeah. And you can not be a couple.

You can go as a single if you want to, which my friend did. Cool. Anyway, I looked this couple up. Who's doing it by themselves? My friend! Male or female friend? Female.

Okay, then more power to you, girl. Don't judge her! No, I would if it was a guy. I absolutely would. Sure, well, yeah. I would have. I'd be like, you know what you're doing, you creep. You don't need a class with us.

How would you, like, imagine being in a class and you're like, all right, here's the practical part of the lesson, and then what, do you just sit with everyone else and go, oh, yeah? No, here's your homework. You get home, you're like, mum's like, how was school? Good, I'm going to my room, don't come back, I've got a lot of homework to do. Sounds like the best homework ever. A special release from ZM's Brain Clint.

The Not Safe for Work Podcast. Next topic is maybe if you've got really young ears in the car, maybe just... Yeah, not for the kids. Possibly not, but it's okay. It's just a bit of a weird one. Yeah. A woman has taken

to Reddit to say that she discovered her husband is a porn star. Now, why you would go on Reddit to announce that, I don't know. But maybe that's where she draws support from. It was anonymous, though. I think she was asking Reddit for what she should do, right? Yes. Be careful asking the internet for advice, by the way. The story has a lot more to it than that, Clinton.

It does. So she is in a heterosexual relationship with a man. Yes. And she was married to a man. And she discovered that her husband is a man-on-man porn star. Yes. I'll read you what she wrote. So there's a couple of secrets there.

Yeah. I'll read you what she wrote. I'll read it. I clicked on a random video when I was on... A website. That website. The website that has those videos, which is illegal to go to.

It's fine. People use that website. Let's call it BedTube. Let's call it Prawn. Prawn Hub. Tub. Oh, how good's Prawn Hub? Prawn Tub.

Prawn Tub, yep. Yeah, Prawn Tub. I clicked on a random video on Prawn Tub, and it was definitely my husband. His face was fully visible. He had several unique tattoos. It was him. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this took place after we were married

because he had the goddamn ring on. Ouch. Right. Ouch. Right. Now a couple more questions. I feel awkward. Why was she watching that variety of prawn?

Why not? Well, I just, if she's like. Some people like to watch a broad array. Yeah, that's fine. I don't think that's the real question here, Clint. I don't think that's the real issue. Can you imagine? Can you imagine you load up

this thing. This happened to one of my mates. Well, one of my colleagues. What, this exact thing? Not this exact thing. Similar, I was working at a car rental company. Yeah. And one of my colleagues what this exact thing not this exact thing similar i was working at a car rental company yeah and one of the girls that worked there um how do i say this uh her boyfriend yeah um one of the guys that worked there was gay. Yeah. And took a screenshot of a video. Oh, that her boyfriend was in? That her boyfriend was in.

Hmm. Not in Man on Man. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, the other, the, the, the. The not. No, not normal. Not normal.

The straight variety. The straight variety. Yeah. That poses another question. How far into a relationship do you have to tell your new partner that you're a porn star? And then all of us in the office were sitting around looking at this photo trying to figure out if it was him. You definitely don't bust it out on the first date. Like you don't go, and they go, what do you do for a job?

But then you can't lie either. What do you say? They're like, I work in hospitality. And they're like, you drive a Maserati. No, you just say I'm an actor. I'm in film. Then you go, I'm in film. That's the line you go with You're like

Would I have seen you in anything You're like probably Maybe Could've You tell me You think we're not gonna get any Why are you so familiar You think

No one's gonna call this afternoon I And we'll take text On 9696 You wanna ask this question I'm just saying What there's nothing wrong with it I don't think There's nothing wrong with it. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Yeah. At all.

Use the word we used. When? What was the word we used? Prawn. Have you or do you know someone that has appeared in Prawn? You can text us on 9696.

You can call 0800 dial ZM. I'm hoping we get someone because I'd like an insight into the industry. There you go. Let's see what we get. When have you done prawn? Prawn. You can't just say that out loud. Not our best analogy, is it? No, I think you get it. Yeah, not our best. You can't just say that out loud. Not our best analogy, is it?

No, I think you get it. Yeah, people get it. Yeah, people get it. A lot of texts. There's a lot of texts going through. Saying, I don't, but someone does, and I know someone who did, and I know someone who worked in the UK at a prawn store. Yep.

But no one quite perfectly on target what we're looking for. Are we sure? We've got someone on the phone. Hi, Karen. Hi, how are you? Hi, Karen. Have you ever worked in the prawn industry? No, not myself, but one of my close friends,

she actually was a prawn star. Prawn, prawn, prawn, prawn, prawn. Prawn. Prawn. Yeah. Was she? Yeah, and she was dating this guy, and I said, oh, you don't tell him for the first couple of dates.

Like, you know, just leave it. Don't tell him. Long story short, they got married. The best man gets up to say his speech and blurt out how she was a star and how he now won't be able to watch her video clips. Oh, my God. So did it get all the way to the wedding and the groom didn't even know?

No, the groom did not know. And the best man chose to tell him and the wedding in the speech. Yep, the best man told him the speech. That is just... That's a bit of a dick move. That's a real dick move. I mean... That's not a best man.

Karen, you're her mate. Do you think she should have told him before then? I think once she... Not for the first couple of days, because you're starting to get to know her. No, I mean before the wedding. But if you're getting married, then yeah. You should probably

share that with your partner. Did the marriage survive? Yes, they are now further on, three years, like three years married and they've got two kids. Good for them.

Is she retired? Yes, she is now. After that weekend, she definitely had to retire, the part husband said. Oh, but yeah. Well, yeah. If that she definitely had to retire, the part husband said. Yeah. Well, yeah, if that's the job you love, that's a tough call, but I guess. There's an interesting text in the text machine.

Yeah. One texter said, my friend's holiday home was used in a prawn shoot once. My friend had a hard time explaining how he knew that it was in a prawn shoot to his parents. There you go. Because they go, how do you know? You're like, I've seen it. Research. That's it.

Research. Okay. There you go. There's quite a few texts actually. Of no one. No one who's actually that busy. Also. Hands full.

Because you know how we're talking about... Actually, I can't do that joke at this time on the radio. You want to get out? Yeah. Should we get out? Yeah, quick. All right, let's go. Bree and Clint.

A special release from ZM's Bree and Clint. The Not Safe for Work podcast. I want to tell you about, because I know that you thought you were a GoPro guy and I tried to convince you not to buy one because I knew that you wouldn't use it. I'm a GoPro guy. How many times have you used your GoPro?

I've got a couple photos on my Instagram and I made one video. I don't really know how to edit videos, so I could have just bought a camera. Or you could have used your phone. Now that I have a new phone and it's got a good camera in it, like I've got that new Samsung phone

and the camera is crazy. Part of me thinks I don't need the GoPro. But maybe I just need an upgrade. I think you need an upgrade and maybe that just wasn't the GoPro for you. Maybe you need this new GoPro that's on the market. As a GoPro guy, I am listening. you need this new GoPro that's on the market. As a GoPro guy, I am listening.

So this new GoPro that's on the market, and this is a real thing. This is not me BSing. This is real. It's on the market. You can buy it. It is a GoPro and it's only for men. Oh yeah. Okay. Well, as a man, as a GoPro man, I'm still listening. It's a little bit sexist, but this GoPro, you don't attach it to your hand. You don'tist, but this GoPro, you don't attach it to your hand. You don't attach it to your wrist. You don't attach it to your chest. You don't attach it to your head. You don't attach it to your foot.

Do I attach it to my penis? Yes, you do. It's a GoPro. I should have clicked. Look, it comes with a little silicon thing that you put around your male appendage and then you put the camera into the silicon ring. Okay. As a GoPro guy, and I speak on behalf of the entire GoPro community,

that is not a GoPro. It's just a camera. Do not besmirch the good name of the GoPro community with that. It's like a GoPro. It captures, you It captures outdoor, indoor activities. Indoor, outdoor, indoor, outdoor, indoor, outdoor, indoor, outdoor.

The promo video that these guys have done for their penis GoPro, they jump out of an aeroplane. Wow, he's a big ambassador for this product. Isn't he? aeroplane. Can I? Wow. He's a big ambassador for this. Isn't he?

Wow. That's a real product. You can buy that. Who is buying that? I'm glad they used it for skydiving and not for other things because that's way too intimate. Even like you want that sort of thing to be at least like an agreement between the two. We're going to make this movie. This is where the camera goes.

But it's way too close for anybody's enjoyment. Unfortunately, they did say one size doesn't fit all. Now, does that affect? I don't know how to ask this question. Who's more affected? Because you know how you get hats. Yes. And as a guy with a – I've got a medium to large head.

One size fits all hats can sometimes make you small. I don't know how to ask this question Judging by the Judging by the Judging by the Judging by the The girth Of the man in the promo video I've already said

Oh mate I think that Nah I'm not gonna finish it You brought this topic to the table You send us out I'm always the guy who cleans up these breaks. I'm always the guy who goes... What do you mean?

What does that mean? Oh, well, at least if you don't like it, it'll be good for somebody. You finish this break. Go on. I've got nothing. Wrap it up in a nice, tidy way. That is good.

You should wrap it up before you use it. There it is, baby. A special release from ZM's Brain Clint. The Not Safe for Work podcast. You, Clint and Roberts, are about to become a father very soon in the coming weeks. Am I? Yes. Shit, I am not ready.

Your wife, Lucy, is pregnant and she's going to give birth very soon to your first baby. If it goes to plan, I'll be a dad in 11 weeks. Yes. Yeah. Very close. God, so much I need to do between now and then. I'm going to go to Coachella. I'm going to surf the greatest beaches in the world.

You know, all those bucket list things that you can't do once you've got a pesky kid. I don't know if you've got the time. Before life's over. I need to ask, do you care about your unborn child's neural development? 100% I care about that. That's the brain stuff, eh? Yeah. Yeah.

We've had the scans. Pretty important. She's taken the vitamins. Would you think paying for a product that helps, they say, with the unborn baby's neural development, with a price tag of $150, would you be willing to purchase something like that? Yeah, if it's a reputable product, there is a small price to pay to make sure I've got a brainy baby. Absolutely.

Great. So I can sign you up for something they're calling the baby pod. Yes? Tell me more So the baby pod, and this is a real thing Is a tampon shaped speaker That you insert into the vagina And you help your unborn baby Listen to music

That's a Yui boom for the poon It's a Yui womb It's a Yui tampoon Or a Beats by Doctor Or a Beats by Doctor. Or a Beats by Vijay. Got any more? No, that's it. No, that's all I got.

Do I want that? Do you want it? I don't really feel like it's up to me. You know what? Literally. How do you charge it? Imagine walking around. You can charge it while it's in there.

Imagine what if you put a PowerPoint into like an extension cord into the cord, into the wall. You can only walk that far around the house. Hmm. Yeah, cool. $150.

I'll sign you up for one. Actually, can I get two? Two Yui Wombs. Got it. One for him and one for her. A special release from ZM's Brain Clint. The Not Safe for Work podcast. Two Yui Wombs. Got it. One for him and one for her. I'm going to go out on a limb here, Bree,

and just assume you've never made any adult films or anything, right? You've never starred in any like – there's no DVDs of you out there or anything like that, right? No. No. Not that I know of. No, right? That guy offered to buy your bathwater that time, but that doesn't really...

Why would you bring that up? Well, you brought it up. I thought that was public knowledge. Now you just saying that, people are going to be like, what the hell? She didn't do it, all right? She didn't do it. I should have, though.

The guy didn't offer her enough money. Yeah, I regret it. He offered me $1,000 on Instagram, this guy, random dude, if I gave him some of my bath water. What a creep. But also, what a great deal. I know.

I can't believe I didn't do it. You didn't even have to give him real bath water. Could have just made some dirty water and put it in a bottle. Given him cloudy water. $1,000. Regrets. God. No one's ever offered to pay $1,000 for my bath water before.

Okay. Well, there's, and look, just like that weirdo out there, and what a creep, by the way, and we reiterate, Bree didn't do it, but she's sounding more and more open to it. She should have. There's something for everybody, right? Everybody's into different things. Yeah. And I'm wondering if you'd be interested in a category of film called mukbong.

What? I mean, it's a fetish thing. Okay. But I think you'd be really good at it. I think you are a Mukbong star in the making. Okay, but what does it entail? Okay, so it comes from South Korea and it involves watching people binge eat food

on a YouTube live stream. I've heard about this. So what you do is you set up your camera facing you, and then between you and the camera, you just put out a feast of whatever you feel like that day. See, like that sounds like my kind of job. Yeah. You might go all Maccas,

and you might go I want to eat every burger on the Maccas menu. Or you might go all Maccas. You might go, I want to eat every burger on the Maccas menu. Or you might go all BK and you go, I want to have as many Hawaiian BK chickens as I can possibly eat. Or you might go, I want a whole sales pizza, but I want one slice. Every single slice has to be a different flavour of sales pizza. That's just every Friday night at my house. And that's mukbang.

That's it. People tune in and they get like stress relief, some kind of pleasure out of just watching you. People like it. People love it. How much do you get paid? So the top mukbang, and it's spelt mukbang, but I've been told that it's pronounced mukbang

if you're saying it correctly. M-U-K-B-A-N-G. The top stars, because once you get your following right, you can then privatise it and you can move your stream behind a paywall and you can charge people to watch you eat. And I actually don't even know if you have to commentate. I mean, we wouldn't be able to stop you from talking, but if you don't feel like it, you could just eat. You could cry if you want. The top mukbang stars are making up to $13,000 a month. What?

Just for eating. So do we have a deal? As your mukbang agent, I only need 20% and I will get the food for you. I require 20% of the food as well. But if you want to do this, we can shake on it right now. Are you paying for my personal trainer? Oh, no, that's all on you. Oh, what?

Plus, we only shoot you sitting down, so your body shape is not our problem. We'll take this conversation off. Okay, we'll talk off air. I'll get your contract behind the scenes. Okay, sweet. Okay, cool. This next conversation is probably one for the grown-ups.

Just for a grown-up kind of vibe. Just because there's nothing bad in it. No. It's just the topics you might not want to explain. To younger ears. Yeah. And like Bree said yesterday, man, this is going to be a boring chat. I'd turn it off if I was under 16.

It's really not. It's real interesting. Okay, hopefully we're clear. We got this text last week, which we talked about yesterday, which we think is one of the stranger texts we've ever got. I'm just going to read it out, okay? Okay. Us girls love listening to you guys at work,

but was hoping that you could do what Fletch does and say the time more often. We work in a brothel and listening to you guys in the rooms, but we don't have a way. We listen to you guys in the rooms because we don't have a way of checking the clocks in between positions. And it kind of ruins the fantasy, lol. At least this way, we can tell the time based on the length of songs a text like that stands out and we read a lot of the text on the text machine and i remember saying to you i was like have a look at the text like that's so interesting we don't we usually get texts like what can i win or can you play this song yeah where's jason pj yeah so that text kind of stood

out and we have been talking about it for a week and we haven't been able to move past it. We thought, is it real? Yes. So we gave them a call today. It's called that number and we recorded it, but we're not going to put the call to air because the person doesn't want to be identified. They said we can play a little bit of it if we change their voice.

Can we just talk, can we talk a bit about. Yeah, don't say where they were. No. No. But the first thing they said when we called them, she was lovely. Yeah. Super nice girl. And she goes, oh, she's like, I can't talk about that.

That's my double life. And we were like, what do you mean? She was at her day job. At her other job. Which was like a very normal – The job that everybody knows that she does. Exactly. Very normal, everyday job. And then she goes, and I do that job on. Exactly. Very normal, everyday job.

And then she goes, and I do that job on the side. It's my double life. She went into a quiet space and told us a bit more about it. And this is the reason why she wants us to tell the time a bit more often. Okay, so we all just listen to ZDM. But it's like, we can't keep looking at the clock because the guys always call us out on it. But usually, like, once we hear a time, we always kind of count the songs from being awake.

Oh, I sleep in, like, three minutes. We sleep for one more song. And then we can, like, put them in the shower and then they can leave. Genius. Genius. Very, very smart. We also said to her, does that mean that you guys are listening when we're talking? So technically... We said to her

what if something funny happens on the radio? She goes, oh, we both laugh. So they listen to it loud enough that if we're having a conversation about something and something really funny happens, they'll both go, ha ha ha ha in the middle of the thing. It's funny. Yeah. If you're both listening to the radio, is anybody

in the moment? That's what I'm wondering.. If you're both listening to the radio, is anybody in the moment? That's what I'm wondering. Like, if you're both, like, I can imagine it's work for them so they're not into it, into it. But if the other person is also listening to it, like, why don't you guys just listen to the radio? What's your vibe? Playing, like, some background noise or, like, a song? Oh, what's my vibe in the moment?

Yeah, like, do you like a bit of background kind of noise? Oh, I don't mind it. Yeah, I don't mind it. I think I like it. Yeah, but I don't go and put it on. Like I'm not like. Oh, you're not going to be like put on your mix CD? No, because no.

Be like, hey, Lucy. Not when you're married. Mix this. If I put on a playlist, you just go, yeah, no. These are my conversions. Fascinating. And here at the Brianne Clint Show, we are proud to be on in those rooms.

Not just because we'll take every single listener we can get. Also, it's 6.12pm. Oh, that's the bit they need, right? That's the key, mate. 6.12. Gonna play three songs? Then it'll be 6.21. ZM. A special release from ZM's Bree and Clint. The Not Safe for Work podcast.

Look, just a little bit of a warning. We're going to keep this conversation PG, but it's probably for, you know, 16 plus years. Sure. I'd say. But a completely natural thing to talk about. And I saw a survey recently that, was I shocked by the results?

I'm going to say no, I wasn't. But I think there will be a few people listening and maybe you, Clint, that could be shocked by these results. Sure. So the results was a survey done by Durex. Okay, this is why it's PG. It's fine. And we all know that brand and what they do.

Yep. Which is great. They make an important product for an important activity for adults. Yes, they do. And they did a survey revealing results and it's been narrowed down. I've just grabbed out New Zealand's results. Okay, cool.

And the results part I want to talk about is how many people, let's go females first, in New Zealand, do you think fake it? Oh. Or have admitted to doing that at one time in their life? It.

Faking it. Pretending that thing. Yes, pretending. Pretending that the end result has happened. Pretending that they finished the race When in fact they probably stopped ages ago and sat down Some of them still on the starting blocks Yep, probably

Okay, what results for male and female? Actually, let's go male first How many people were surveyed? Is that what it is or is it a percentage? It's a percentage of the people surveyed So how many percent of the people surveyed In terms of men admitted to having pretended? I'm going to say zero.

No. Really? 12% have admitted to one time or another. Hard thing to fake as a fella. We're not going to go into too much detail, but hard thing to fake. But it can be done. In certain circumstances. Anything can be done. Anything can be done. Yeah. In certain circumstances. Anything can be done.

Anything can be done. All right, the girls. I want to get a consensus from the team. What do we think? What's the percentage of Kiwi women? Place our bets. Yes, let's place the bets. Kiwi women.

Probably 100. Probably 100. Why are you doing that? Clint's not in it anymore. It's 100, isn't it? It is not 100. Why are you doing that? Clint's not in it anymore. It's 100, isn't it? It is not 100. That is ridiculous. I'm going to go 85%.

Oh, that's exactly what I was going to do. Okay, we'll go 90 then if you're going to do that. Okay. Okay. No, it's actually 78% of Kiwi women have admitted. 78? Yeah. Okay.

100! 100! 100! Sorry. I'm going to say 100. I'm going to say, you know, I've read a lot of surveys. 100. And you know what? 100.

No, I've just talked to a lot of women. How many people were surveyed? Three? I've talked to a lot. And every time this conversation comes up between men and women, every lady likes to go, oh, mate, every woman you've ever been with will have been faking it at some stage. Probably true.

You know? It's kind of a go-to. It's like a go-to thing. It's a go-to thing to tell people that. For women to say it to men, you know, just to slash their dreams, a guy goes, yeah, I think my partner's quite happy. And they go, she'll be faking it. She won't always be happy.

She'll definitely be faking it. That's savage. Yeah. That is real savage. It's an interesting conversation because it's not really something you talk about with the opposite sex that often. It's a touchy subject. No, yeah.

Isn't it? Whereas the same sex. There's a lot of pride on the line. Exactly right. Whereas the same sex, you talk about it with your girlfriends a lot. Oh, I see what you mean. You know what I mean? Outside of your relationship.

Outside of your relationship. You gas bag with the girls. Yeah. Is that what you guys are talking about? Do you reckon, Ellie? We talk about that amongst girls. Yeah, no, we do. Yeah, so watch out, guys.

The boys don't. We don't have that chat, eh? No, we don't have that chat at all. They did last night. Yeah, what happened, Clint? She was so happy, mate. Oh, she was loving it. Best night of her life, I'll tell you that for free.

She was loving it. Except for the 12. It was the best three and a half minutes of her life. Except for the 12%, right? Except for the 12%, yeah. I wanted to know from people on 0800DIALZM, not people who are going to admit that they've done it because, I mean, obviously it's a lot.

I want to know people who are currently in a relationship where they do it often. Oh, okay. Where they pretend often. You reckon people will call for that? Probably not. But I hope there's a few brave people. Again, imagine if, oh, yeah.

I'd like to hear from them. You can remain anonymous. If you don't want to call, you can text us on 0800DIALZM. And if you want to admit that you lie and it happens often, why? Why not just tell them? Do you think it gets to a certain point and then you can't go back? Maybe. Well, we can ask these people when they call.

Well, I want to know. 0800 dial ZM. And if you are faking it and you want a fake name, that's fine too. We can do that. We can do that. Do you plant all the way? Do you? Do you?

Do you? Do you water the plant? Yeah. Does your garden bear plant? Yeah. Does your garden bear fruit? Yes. Bit of an adult conversation if you've just joined us, just as a little warning in case there's sensitive ears in the car. But Bree's asked a perfectly natural question.

And I think we need to talk about it more often, I think. It would help everyone in the situation, I think, because 78% of women in New Zealand have said on a survey they have pretended to fully plant the plant at one stage or another. Good for those 12 who have never had to pretend. Yeah, but they're probably lying. That's why I said 100% before. Well, who knows?

I don't know every female. The one that was interesting to me was the male one. 12% of males. 12% of males said maybe once they have. Yeah. Yeah, which is quite interesting. Nobody is willing to talk on the phone, but there have been quite a lot of text messages on this topic.

Yeah, there's a lot of people texting through because we asked, are you someone who's been in a relationship for a long time and have you pretended regularly in that relationship? Because I find that interesting. Like can you keep up the act, you know? Yeah, are you like constantly appraising your performance? Yeah. You're like, oh, that wasn't that believable. Next time I'll bring in like – next time I'll grab the sheets.

Yes, that's a good idea. Which again, I mean, everyone's got their own motivation. But if you do that, he's going to go, or she is going to go, damn, I'm really nailing it. I am killing it. I've gotten better. And then guess what? It doesn't help. I thought I'd gotten worse, but I've gotten better.

Doesn't help you, doesn't help them. No. Does it in the end? Someone texted through and they said, I started off in the beginning pretending. It's now been four years. How the hell do I tell them four years on that I've pretended every single time? Your whole relationship has been a lie. Oh, we've got someone on the phone.

We've got someone who wants to talk. Oh, great. We're going to keep them anonymous. Hello, good afternoon. Welcome to ZM. Hello. Hi, how are you? Great.

Thanks for coming on to talk about this. I think it's something we probably need to get out in the open a bit more. What do you want to say on the topic, Anonymous? Have you done this before? Yes, I have. Yeah, I've been in a relationship and I take it pretty much all the time. And how long have you been in the relationship for? Six months now. Ooh.

Interesting. And have you ever thought, you know what, I'm going to be up front and honest with my partner. I'm just going to tell them. Um, no. I'm not that mean. Yeah, but is it mean or is it just helpful?

Well, he's been told that before, so he's quite sensitive about it. It is such a sensitive topic. Yeah, but guess what? Like I said, there's ego, there before, so he's quite sensitive about it. Yeah, it is such a sensitive topic. Yeah, but guess what? Like I said, there's ego, there's emotion, there's pride involved, all that stuff. I'm not saying don't do it. I'm just saying it is a hotbed of emotions. Yeah, but guess what?

If you've been told once before and then if you get told again, maybe you need to think, okay, I need to teach myself here. I'm doing something wrong. It's true. It's true. I love the idea of teaching yourself. You're like, babe, I need to teach myself here. I'm doing something wrong. It's true. It's true. I love the idea of teaching yourself. You're like, babe, we're not doing it tonight. I'm doing some solo training.

People can be taught, babe. People can be taught. But anonymous, it's up to you and me to teach people, right? You need to educate them. That stat one more time, what was it? 78% of females have one time or another faked it. And 12% of men. A special release from Zinam's brain plant.

The Not Safe for Work podcast. News from Pornhub, which we don't often bring you news from Pornhub, but I have some today. How did you find this news? Excuse me. I knew you were going to ask that. Is that your preferred viewing website? I found it on the other hub, okay?

Newshub. All right? This is the other hub, okay? News hub. All right? This is the headline. Dirtiest porn ever. Pornhub makes adult film on littered beach to raise money for the environment. Well done, Pornhub. Well done. Can you stop saying that word?

All right. Well done, Pornhub. Well done. That's why I like RedTube. I haven't visited that one You're such a liar Get the lie detector machine in here again Can I read out the environmental porno story

Or are you just going to keep interrupting me With your favourite porn sites Seriously what is this What is this Pornhub is sharing a raunchy new release In a bid to raise money towards The removal of plastic waste from the world's oceans. They're shooting a porno on a trash-covered beach.

It's a real story. It's a real story. I'll show you a thumbnail. Why? I'll show you a thumbnail from it. Oh, my God. It's going to be a real thing. And the idea.

Are you allowed to look at that at work? Rubbish. Letter. No. The idea is to raise awareness. But at the same time, like, you've still got to go and watch some porn. Nothing wrong with it. No, nothing wrong with it.

And now it's a little bit like you're doing something good for the environment at the same time. Exactly. So you don't have to feel bad. I mean, certain ones, let's clarify. Probably not my fave. Which ones? Oh, just the. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. I don't certain ones, let's clarify, probably not my fave. Which ones? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want to know about your category choices.

I was like, this is a very personal question on the air. Pum is hoping the combination of pum and pollution will attract the dirty-minded viewer. That's good play on words there. Oh, here you go. For every stream viewed, the

company will donate money to Ocean Polymers, a non-profit organisation that cleans up the world's ocean plastic. So there you go. That's kind of cool. Doing their bit. Yeah, so you can beat help beat pollution.

Help beat pollution. There you go. That's my porn story. Stop saying that word! A special release from ZM's Brain Plant. The Not Safe for Work podcast. I had a very awkward encounter at a friend's house the other night. I didn't even really think about it at the time,

but we were in her room. Oh, yeah, what were you guys doing? And we were talking. Oh, yeah, what were you talking about? I can't even remember. TV show maybe? Yeah, probably. Anyway, something happened and she goes, oh, can you get,

I think it was a pen or something. She goes, oh, can you get that pen over on my chest of drawers? And I walked over and I went to pull open this top drawer. Oh, very invasive. Well, she kind of alluded to going to that drawer to get a pen. Did she specifically instruct you to open her top drawer? No, but I couldn't see a pen on the chest of drawers, so I opted, oh, it might be in the top drawer. You know as well as I know, you don't just look in someone's top drawer.

I didn't think about it at the time. Like of all the drawers. Second drawer down, that's okay. Bottom drawer, usually fine. Top drawer. The shriek that came from her mouth as I put my hand on the knob of the top drawer was deafening. And she was just like, don't open that drawer.

Don't open it. Don't open it. Yeah, that's like Harry Potter's Chamber of Secrets. Literally. Yeah. It is a secret passage. And I, luckily enough, stopped. I did not open the drawer.

But by golly I wanted to have a look after that. Have you looked yet? No. Did she tell you what was in her top drawer? She kind of did tell me. I don't know if I believe her. What is it? I can't say. Oh you can't take us this far down the rabbit hole and then not tell us what was in the top drawer.

Think about what would be in a lady's top drawer and it's that. Oh okay. This lady lives alone, does she? She does. So it's not, you know, an unusual thing, but apparently there was a couple in there. And I think you're right.

That's exactly where those things are kept. Yes, and why is it always, it's so stupid, why is it always in the top drawer, the most accessible place, you know, out there in the open? Why do we put all of our naughty stuff in the top drawer? I think you hit the nail on the head because it's the most accessible. True. You need access to things that live in that drawer.

When you need them, you need them quickly. Then and there. And you need to be able to get them without looking too. You need to be able to just reach over. In the dark. Yeah, and go for them. You don't want to turn the lights on. Sometimes you don't want to turn the lights on.

Sometimes you want to do it with the lights off. Totally, totally. Sometimes you never want to turn the lights on. This is the thing. You're not hiding them from anybody per se. You're not going, no one will find them here. You're just hiding them from sight. That's the difference. Because everyone knows that that's the rude draw.

One time when I was moving house, and this was horrific, I left to go get some boxes to do some packing up and I left my mum in my room to do some packing up. And as I was driving back to the house, I've remembered my top drawer and I've never sped so fast. Don't speed, kids. But I've never sped so fast down my street. I'm just imagining your mum opening that drawer and in the words of your mum, oh, Brianna.

She didn't make it to the top drawer, thank God. Top drawer is the go-to, but is it the only place? Is it, you know, the old school place? Is there a new place? Yeah. Do you maybe not have a top drawer beside your bed? Maybe you don't have any bedsides. You've had to opt for somewhere else.

Where do you hide your rude stuff? Oh, 800-DAL-ZM. If you don't want to come on, you don't feel comfortable talking about it. That's fine. You can text us. 9696. Maybe it just is the top drawer. Maybe it is and maybe that has led you down. Maybe your mum's found it before as well. Hey, we'll take those stories too. But the question.

Yeah. 0800 dial ZM. Where do you hide your rude stuff? Nearly had a run in with one of my friend's top drawers and we all know where most of the time people keep their rude stuff. In the top drawer. Yeah, I didn't even think about it. When you say top drawer, I'm thinking top drawer of the bedside.

This was the top drawer of a chest of drawers. Oh, just as personal. Because she didn't have... Bedside drawers? Bedside drawers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So obviously that's the next place you're going to go. The top drawer of the tall boy. Yes. That's the, yeah. So obviously that's the next place you can go.

The top drawer of the tall boy. Yes. That's the next one, right? That's the next best spot. Or is it? We're trying to find out this afternoon. Where do you keep your rude stuff? Is there another spot for it?

It's somewhere else. Hi, Amy. Hello. Amy, tell us, where do you hide your rude stuff? Kind of random, but it gets kept in like the top drawer in our lounge but like in the remote pocket thing for the cat. Amy, you mad dog.

What? I know. In the lounge? In the lounge, yeah. Where people are grabbing for the remotes all the time. Yeah, so that's like the running joke of it all. So it was a secret Santater present to my mum, just as a joke.

And so now that it just comes out. And then you're like, oh, I might keep that. Imagine that, you're around Amy's place and you're like, oh, the remote's shaking. Well, that's exactly the funny thing. You know, you go to grab the remote, you might get something else. You are wild. It's a lucky dip at Amy's house. Oh, yeah.

There are great texts on this as well where people... There's some really good texts. Where they're keeping their rude stuff. There's some people that are saying that they used to have it in the top drawer, but since having kids, there's been a few incidences... Oh, right. ...where they've had to move them because the kids have gotten into the top drawer

and come out waving it about. On a bedside drawer, that top drawer is probably, as soon as a kid's able to stand up, that's probably the most accessible drawer for them. Exactly right. I love this text though. Someone said, I hide mine and the whole drawer underneath the bed. I have given very strict instructions to my husband and my sister

if anything happens to me to get rid of them. Clear my browser history and destroy my drawer. Hi, Anton. Sorry, no, Anton. Anonymous. Anonymous. Hi, Anonymous. Hi. Tell us, Anonymous, where do you keep your rude stuff? So, my main ones,

they go in these display cushions because I've got display cushions on my bed to unzip so I put them in the back of that. Genius. Smart. No one expects that. And then my second one, I hide it in the ones

that I don't usually use. They're in my foot spa in the top of the wardrobe. In the foot spa? Yeah, in the little foot spa in the wee compartment where the pumice rock and all that is. Yeah.

Can you imagine you go over to Anonymous' house and you're like, pillow fight! Just get hit in the face by a bag of dick. Can you imagine you go over to Anonymous' house and you're like, pillow fight. Just get hit in the face by a bag of dicks. Can you imagine worse than that? You go to the doctor and the doctor's like, you've got a foot fungus down there.

How did you get that? What the hell is going on? Oh, that's right. I keep my rude stuff inside my foot spa. And he's like, that could do it. It's cross-contamination. That is a weird spot, but no one would look there, would they? No one would look.

We've lost our last person. We're not going to have them on. Oh, we have? Yeah. Oh, no, wait. Producer Ellie is working on it. Oh, yeah? Oh, it's anonymous.

Okay, they're anonymous as well. Hi, anonymous. Are you there? Hello. Anonymous. Hi, sorry It's alright I had to go and Hide your rude stuff

Rescue them Yeah So we were listening in the car And my daughter's like Hey mum Where do you guys put your toys? And I'm like Um

You know Just nowhere And then she said Is that the toys in dad's drawer? That you said that were not allowed in? Yeah And then I'm on is that the toys in Dad's drawer that you said that we're not allowed in? Yeah. And then I'm on hold waiting. And she's like, Mom, I'm trying to get into this drawer.

She's gone looking for these toys. Okay. We're going to let you go. And we're going to buy you a gift. We're so sorry. It's a one-way ticket out of the country. And a new name and a new family. One more text from the text machine.

Someone said, bottom drawer. It's a bigger drawer for me. A special release from ZM's Bree and Clint. The Not Safe for Work podcast. Look, this next story I believe has happened to probably nearly every person in this room and probably you listening right now okay and i hate when i do this it's so annoying when you stay at a hotel it's all good you pack up and then you realize you left something behind oh yeah i always have

that problem if i um decide to um split like spread out and use the wardrobe i'm like why didn't i hang my clothes up? And then I never get my clothes out of the wardrobe. Bad move. Do you think there's rooms at hotels, like in storage where they just- Full of stuff? No, where they just keep all the phone chargers? So I've got a theory on the phone chargers that if you go to a hotel, don't take one.

Just go to a reception and go, hey, I've forgotten my charger. Have you got a Samsung charger or an iPhone charger, whatever it is? And they'll definitely have hundreds of them. Yeah, well, true. And then you can use it. They won't want it back. And then you take it. And then you take it and then you've got another charger.

Yeah, but what if they don't have one? Well, then you – I guess you take it and then you ask anyway. Yeah. You could do that too. Anyway, there's a story that's going viral about a flight attendant who left something in her room, wasn't a story that's going viral about a flight attendant who left something in her room. Wasn't a phone charger.

Wasn't clothes. But it was a very personal item. Yeah. So she was a part of cabin crew and she's staying at the hotel. And they actually ended up sending her workplace a typed memo. Sure. Which I'm like, you know, it's 2019 2019 does that still happen yeah good email yeah right do you want to hear what the memo said sure i might have to change a few words okay so it said uh hi from crew watch we just received a call from the hotel that you stayed in recently.

They found a 25 centimetre in one of the crew rooms. Can you let them know so it can be collected at a later date? Oh, so it was an adult thingy. Who's measuring it? Who got the measuring tape out and go, hmm. Do you think that's an approximation or have they actually measured it? Yeah, right? Or is it someone's job to measure every item that's left behind so you have to positively identify it?

You go, hi, I left my boop at that hotel. And they go, okay, we need colour, make, and exact length. Imagine if they gave you the wrong one. They're just trying to humiliate the person. Surely. Pretty rough. Surely that's why they're doing it that way. Come on.

Well, the worst part was is they left this for the group because obviously they would have known who it was because her name would have been on the hotel room. Yeah, exactly. But they sent it to all the people in the cabin crew and then obviously she had to come forward and be like, that's mine. I hope it was the pilot.

I was like, oh, sorry, guys. My bad. What does the G in the word G-Spot stand for? Yes. And we've already established, by the way, for Curious is that G-Spot is where you buy G-Force, the fruit drink from, right? Exactly.

Also known as a dairy. Very hard to find these days. Actually, always hard to find. The drink? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Couldn't locate it really easily. I thought rather than Google this, the G-Bit,

because I don't know what it stands for. Do you know what it stands for? I have a few ideas. Yeah? Yeah. I thought rather than Google it, let's ask Twitter because that's the easiest way to get answers. And people did not disappoint.

So I'm just going to give you some of the best responses as to what it stands for. And at the end, we can decide together who got it right. Yep. Someone called GoldenStateNZ said the G stands for G'day Mate. Oh, yeah. The G'day Mate spot. Usually what happens when you drink that drink.

You know, once you find the drink, you probably would make a noise like that. What does the G in G spot stand for? Someone said gooch, which. Yes, we've used that word on the show before. Someone said, Melanie Bracewell actually said, from Have You Been Paying Attention. She came through and said the G in G spotspot stands for G.I. Joe, which, oh, of course it does.

G.I. Joe. So, you know what G.I. Joe is? No. Like the original action man. Oh, yeah, like the G.I. Joe. Like a G.I. Joe. No, I thought there was another underlying meaning. No.

Sam Smith actually replied. The Sam Smith? No, the comedian. The comedian. Unfortunately. Which I was even more excited about because I prefer Sam Smith, the New Zealand comedian,

to Sam Smith, the international singer. Yeah. Same here. I mean, everyone does. He said the G stands for G-Wiz. Yeah, well, that's... The G-Wiz spot.

The G-Wiz spot. Yeah, because once you locate it... And buy yourself a G-Force. It's like, oh, G-Wiz. G-Wiz. That was tough. Eli Mathewson, also from Have You Been Pay And buy yourself a G-Force. It's like, oh, gee whiz. Gee whiz. That was tough. Eli Mathewson, also from Have You Been Paying Attention, came through and said it stands for good,

which is nice and simplistic, isn't it? Yes. Simple. That's good. Straightforward. Probably does. Which, to be honest, it's anything but straightforward, usually. No, but his definition at least.

Yes. Oh, good. There it is. Rhythm and Vines, the festival, actually replied to me. I didn't know that they had thumbs to type. No, they do. Yeah, yeah. Oh, they do.

And they run a hell of a Twitter game. Oh, do they? Rhythm and Vines said the G in G-Spot stands for Gisborne. Oh, yeah? Gisborne, also a very hard place to locate. Very hard place to locate. Yeah. Yeah, and you're only there once a year.

Exactly right. You only find it very rarely. And I think the person who hit the nail on the head was world-renowned New Zealand comedian Rose Matafeo who came through and said the G in G-spot stands for Gunther. What, from Friends? Yeah. The guy with the grey hair.

Makes a lot more sense than what I thought it was. Which was? I thought it stood for gland. ZM's Bree and Clint, back Monday, Jan 13 on ZM. ZM. ZM.