ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint with Matty McLean Podcast – 22nd March 2022
Episode Date: March 22, 2022Is Mt Ruapehu going to blow?!Where are the cheap coffees?Name Game!Mattys Doc Ranger storyBirthing videosLandlord textSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....
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The ZM Podcast Network
Hello everybody, welcome to the Bram Clint P-P-P-Pod
P-P-P-P-Podcast
P-P-P-Podcast with Matty
Welcome back Matty
It's so nice to be here
So nice to have you back
I keep, um, I keep thinking today about what happened to you and I yesterday
Oh God Oh God I keep thinking today about what happened to you and I yesterday.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Clint and I took part in a photo shoot yesterday for a magazine.
Some of the photos that we posed for, some of the inspirations, positions,
they asked us to assume.
That makes it sound worse than it is I'm just worried about
Because we have no control over what photos they choose
They take the photos
If they like the photo, they use the photo
And look, did I expect that
They would be cheesy photos? Yes
But was the reality of taking said
Cheesy photos worse than I imagined?
Absolutely
At one point they had us back to back with our arms folded,
looking over our shoulders at each other.
And you know that is the photo they're going to use too.
I forgot about that one.
It was all the gazing into each other's eyes.
It was terrible.
The overarching theme of the story is
Mates from ages ago
Still working in the same industry together
Yeah
It's pretty straightforward
It's a no harm no foul kind of a story
But the photos attached
We look like
New Zealand's leading media gay couple
It's like
They're on the radio together
and yet they still make their relationship work.
Clint and Maddie, their love story.
Luckily, our brooding masculinity will override that.
We'll hide that.
I don't know when it comes out.
I know that Brie is going to have a field day
when she gets hold of it.
Because, Ben, how long have we been bullying her
about that Woman's Day shoot that she did
with the red turtleneck?
Since it came out?
That was years ago, right?
It was to promo the start of this show, so...
I've got four years of comeuppance.
At least we got to pick our own outfits.
That's all I'll say.
Yeah.
Because otherwise there would be us and Capri's in a red turtleneck.
That photo of Bri.
Laugh while you can.
Laugh while you can.
I know.
Because I think this might be the last week that we get.
After that, we have to sign a pact I go
You don't mention yours
You don't mention ours
Yeah
The things we do eh
Oh the things we do
When does it come out?
Your idea guys
Do you know?
Maybe next week
Yeah maybe
Oh yeah
Yeah
I don't know
We don't know
It's gone into the universe now
It's out of our hands
Also we kind of wore matching outfits.
Like the shirts that we were wearing.
They were cut from the same cloth.
And colour coordinated, I would say.
Block colour linen shirts.
Any props?
We do make a hot couple.
We do, super cute.
I'm thinking Clint had a microphone and you had a TV.
No, but if someone Had suggested it
Then it would have happened
There were two
Two instances
Where Clint and I
Looked at each other
And went no
We're not doing that
One of the requests was
Can you guys play fight
Did you
Yeah we wrestled
Yeah
Matty got me in a headlock and gave me a noogie.
Oh, wait for that one.
Good, okay.
Oh, chums.
I might not talk about that one when it comes out, actually.
I might not put that one on my Instagram.
Here's the podcast, everybody.
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
Good afternoon, everybody. What time is it? Three, two, one! ZM's Breeinclin with guest host Maddie McLean.
Good afternoon everybody. Welcome to the show Breeinclin with Maddie back this afternoon.
It's your final week. It's your swan song.
It really is.
Yeah.
So I was half expecting some sort of a red carpet to be rolled out.
Oh, it's coming. It's coming.
Okay, good.
We've got a little stripper coming in.
A little stripper?
Well, if that's what you're into, we can organise it.
Hey, while you're here, I need you to weigh in on something with me.
I need to call a quick people's court to start the show this afternoon.
Okay.
I just need a second opinion.
A firm, fast decision.
Pretty much.
Producer Ben out there.
Producer Ben, you joined us this afternoon.
Hello.
Hey, yep.
Ready to answer.
Ben and I have had a bet running between us.
We actually do it every year.
It's Chiefs versus Crusaders.
His team, the Crusaders.
Right.
My team, the Chiefs.
Yeah.
Two rounds ago in Super Rugby, that one happened.
Ben, what was the result of the game?
Chiefs won.
Great game.
Chiefs won.
Great game. And what was the bet for the game? Chiefs won. Great game. Chiefs won. Great game.
And what was the bet for?
Was it a box of Heinekens?
Box of Heinekens.
Late, but he has paid on his bet this afternoon.
Great.
I just want you to tell me.
Am I allowed to defend myself?
No, actually not.
Is this appropriate?
Is this appropriate?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
It's a box.
A six pack.
It's not a box.
It's a cardboard sleeve. Mate, if it's not a box. It's a cardboard sleeve.
Mate, if it's inflation, you should be giving me more beers.
It was either that or 24 and I'm not giving you 24.
What, it was six or 24?
Yeah, they didn't have any other cans either.
What about 12 or 15?
They didn't have it in the supermarket.
Clint, that's on you for not specifying what the bet was.
That's bull tucker.
Honestly.
Honestly, if you bet somebody a box of beer, and please message in on this, if the bet was. That's bull tucker. Honestly. Honestly, if you bet somebody
a box of beer,
and please message in on this,
if the bet is a box of beer,
how many beers is it?
How many beers is expected?
Hey, you wanted a ruling from me.
I've given it.
Whack the thing.
I reject your ruling.
And I'll be appealing.
Thank you very much.
I don't want it.
I'll have the beers.
Oh no, I want them.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
All right, well, I'll see you in the Court of Appeal.
Yeah, see you there.
This afternoon, we've got a volcanologist on the show with us.
Yeah, we're fancy.
We do science stuff.
He's going to tell us, is Ruapehu going to explode?
Not now.
Just what we need right now, right?
Not now.
A volcanic eruption.
Dr. Phil Shane from the University of Auckland
will be joining us
before four o'clock.
Also, there's a clue today
in the secret sounds.
And God, do we need it.
God, do we need it.
We're scrambling around
in the dark.
So there's two things here.
The clue's coming out
at five o'clock.
You'll hear it on the radio.
Yep.
But you can get the clue early
if you join the ZM Insider
fam page on Facebook.
The clue's going up
at four o'clock for the ZM Insiders.
Perfect.
Because I want to hear your answers today
because I swear every time I hear a new guess,
I think, well, this is it.
That's it.
It's got to be it.
It's got to be it.
This is The Secret Sound.
And join that group if you want the clue.
We'll start the show with Tradie vs Lady this afternoon.
We've got 50 bucks KFC,
no, 50 bucks thanks to KFC up for grabs.
And if you want to win it, you can call us right now
and we'll play after a bit of Wilkinson.
Tradies are up, but the ladies are resurgent.
Can they do it again today?
We'll play after this.
Brian Clint with Matty ZM.
Brian Clint.
I'm just sorry.
I mean, I hate to revisit this case so early,
but overwhelmingly the response is coming in from the people.
The question was, if you are in a bet and the bet is for a box of beers,
how many beers is that for?
The judgment, the majority ruling is 24 beers.
24 beers.
Yeah, we have been overruled, Ben.
Yeah.
So Ben, who paid his debt with a six pack, a six pack of beers. Yeah, we have been overruled, Ben. Yeah. So Ben, who paid his debt with a six pack,
a six pack of beers.
And can I just pull you up?
Because I have to defend myself here as a lawyer.
I'm prosecuting you.
You said there were no 12 boxes.
Is that right?
Correct.
It was only six or 24.
And I couldn't fit 24.
Why didn't you get two six packs?
Yeah, I definitely could have.
I'm just not carrying all that weight with me just to give you...
Oh, now it's a weight issue.
But what happens now?
Because he's done it.
Like, it's done now.
He's made his call.
He's what's called a bad debtor.
So no...
I just give him one beer for the rest of the month.
But what?
No other arrangements will be entered into with Ben.
Right.
He can't get credit.
He's like, it's like dealing with someone, you know,
who doesn't pay their bills.
Yeah.
You can't get another bet, unfortunately.
That's right, that one's done anyway.
Yeah.
Free and Clint's.
Tradie vs. Lady.
Enjoy your six beers.
Oh, I will, quickly.
Welcome to Tradie vs. Lady. It's where beers. Oh, I will, quickly. Welcome to Tradyverse Lady.
It's where you have the chance to win 50 bucks cash,
thanks to KFC.
Ben will probably pay you in a six pack,
but that's cool.
That's fine.
Let's meet our contestants today.
Our first is our lady from Whangarei,
and she has never left school.
She went straight from learning there to teaching there.
Welcome to the show.
It's Jess.
Hey, Jess.
Hi.
Hi, how are you?
Good.
So you teach now at the school that you went to as a student?
Correct.
Is that weird?
Because I'm assuming there's...
And I was even in the same class.
Oh, wow.
And I'm assuming there's teachers there that were your teachers at school.
Correct.
That are now your colleagues.
Did you just do that so that you could finally see what it looked like in the staff room?
Pretty much.
Pretty much.
So mysterious.
And do you call your colleagues Mrs. Smith or whatever?
Or have you gone to first name basis?
Yeah, first name basis, but to start with, it was very strange.
Day one, she's like, what's up now, Linda?
Okay, let's meet your opposition today.
They are 27 years old. They're from
Palmy, and they were part of the world
record skinny dip attempt at Rhythm
and Vines in 2014.
Welcome to the show, Joe.
G'day, how's it going? I was there, Joe.
I probably saw your noodle.
It's not much to see, is it?
Did you see Clint?
His noodle?
Yeah.
I was a big chicken. I didn't go in. Did you know that there His noodle? Yeah.
Oh, I wish.
I was a big chicken.
I didn't go in.
Did you know that there's a video of it?
Producer Ben just brought the video up on our screen here.
There's video footage of the 2014 world record skinny dip attempt online.
Well, I'm the white male, six foot.
And how tall are you?
Six inches.
All right.
We'll keep an eye out for you then.
There's Joe.
Okay, Joe, your buzzer is tradie.
Jess, your buzzer is lady.
First to three correct answers is going to get 50 bucks cash,
thanks to KFC.
Good luck.
Question number one.
The White Ferns are skating on thin ice in their World Cup tournament and might not make the semis after back-to-back losses.
What sport do the White Ferns play?
Lady.
Tradie.
Yes, Jess.
Cricket.
Well done. Got it.? Lady. Trudy. Yes, Jess. Cricket. Well done.
Got it.
Huge fan.
Question number two.
Yeah, aren't we all?
Question number two.
Amanda Bynes' nine-year conservatorship could be coming to an end soon.
Can you name a movie she's been in?
Lady.
Trudy.
Yes, Jess.
She's the Man.
Well done.
Got it.
Jess, you could win it right here. Come on, Jo. Get in there, mate. Get in there. She's the man. Well done. Got it.
Jess, you could win it right here.
Come on, Joe.
Get in there, mate.
Get in there.
You can do this.
There's an article this week saying those taking up a trade are on the rise in New Zealand.
Name a trade.
Trade.
Joe, you had to get that one.
Come on.
What is it?
Builder.
Is that what you are?
Are you a builder?
No, I work on windmills.
Oh, you work on windmills. Oh, you work on windmills.
Of course you do.
Of course you do.
Hey, there's wooden windmills.
You could go over to Foxton and build that one.
Okay, one to the tradies, two to the ladies.
Here we go, guys.
Question number four.
Megan and Harry have apparently been asked to present an award at the upcoming Academy Awards.
What's the other name for the award ceremony?
Freddie.
Yes, Joe.
Go and blow?
Oh, so close.
We won't give you a guess, Jess.
We can't decide on a free guess, but the answer was...
The Oscars.
The Oscars, yep.
Okay, we'll carry on.
Question number five.
Travel experts are warning flight prices will be pretty expensive
as we get back into international travel.
Name our national airline carrier.
Ready?
Yes, Joe, to tie the game.
New Zealand.
Perfect.
We're all tied up.
This is for the win.
Good luck.
Question number six.
Who sings this song?
Nobody got it?
Okay, that was Kanye West, everybody.
Let's go to our final question then.
Question number seven.
We don't normally get to numbers. No, we don't normally go this far.
Astronomers have spotted what they think might be explosions in a far-off galaxy.
Name another planet in our galaxy.
Yes, Joe, for the win.
Mars.
That'll do it.
Oh, my God, I come from behind.
Tradyie victory.
Congratulations, Joe.
We've got 50 bucks thanks to KFC coming your way.
Awesome.
I'll be getting a box of beer.
We'll go and see if we can spot you on the skinny-dipping video, Joe.
Six foot, very wide.
Bree and Clint.
I saw a tweet today that said,
Not now, Ruapéhu.
Which I thought was very funny.
It's like, we have got enough going on at the moment, Ruapéhu.
We don't need your shit right now.
There's a war in Ukraine.
Petrol prices are sky high.
There's a housing crisis.
There's a housing crisis.
We're in the midst of a global pandemic.
Stop it!
Unfortunately, we don't get to decide when volcanoes erupt.
They've got a mind of their own.
So here to tell us if she is going to blow is volcanologist,
oh, that's a violent one, from the University of Auckland, Phil Shane.
Dr. Phil Shane.
Good afternoon, Dr. Phil Shane.
Oh, hello.
So tell us.
Give it to us straight, Doc.
We can take it.
Is she going to blow?
Oh, well, nobody can ever be sure.
I wouldn't.
I think with all the things going on in the world,
don't be worried too much at this stage.
The volcano sort of goes through cycles of sort of warming up
and trembling and then cooling down again.
So, you know, we can't be sure at this stage.
Don't get too worried.
So what are we seeing?
What are we seeing?
Yeah, I mean, every so often,
sometimes more heat comes out of the volcano
and more volcanic gases come out.
And there's a few more sort of local earthquakes underneath it.
Those are normally things we associate with
an increased chance of an eruption,
but you do need to keep in mind
it can sort of go in cycles
and sometimes not lead to an eruption.
So what you're saying is the volcano has a bit of a sore tummy,
but it might not... Chunder. Yeah, it might not blow.
Yeah, I
think that's right. Or imagine it's
sort of, maybe it's only
clearing its throat, you know,
rather than literally throwing up.
Yeah, okay. That's positive. I hope it's wearing
a face mask in the current conditions.
Tell us, it's been a shocker
over a couple of years for the tourism industry.
If it does blow up, is it
going to ruin the ski season on Mount
Ruapehu? Yeah, yeah, there is
a good chance. Previous
eruptions over the decades
often produce
what we call mud flows,
a hot mixture of mud and
water flowing down the slopes
of the volcano, which can be really fast and dangerous.
So, yes, if an eruption was likely or indeed underway,
it would affect the ski season.
I mean, we're not in the ski season yet,
but it would affect that, yeah.
It would get you down the mountain quickly, though, wouldn't it?
Yeah, yeah, that's a new one.
So quick you probably wouldn't want to go up.
Yeah, true.
I'm old enough to remember the really big 1996 Ruapehua eruption.
I was living in Rotorua at the time
and we had the ash cloud drift from the central plateau
right over the top of us and it was incredible.
We were at school and my teacher stepped out
and looked at the cloud and said,
that's snow.
And we said, shut up, it isn't snow.
And then before you knew it, the sky was black.
It was pitch black.
It looked like midnight at lunchtime.
And then we had a huge cloud of ash rain down on top of us.
I collected a two-litre ice cream container full of ash off the ground
on the day as a souvenir because I planned in the future
to sell little vials of it.
I was like, people will want to buy this.
This is going to be worth
a lot of money.
And where is it now?
I think mum and dad
threw it out
when they moved house.
So Dr. Phil,
another eruption
could be another chance
for a souvenir collection.
A money-making venture.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And also, you know,
sometimes it's hard for us
to collect the ash
because it's actively erupting.
So if you do collect some...
Do you want some of my 1996 ash?
I'll try and shake it down for you.
I'll give you one tip though.
If you get ash fall and that sort of thing,
don't go rubbing it off your car.
That's a fantastic way to destroy the paint job.
That is very, very good advice.
We'll keep that in mind for if and not when Mount Ruapehu does blow.
Thank you, Dr. Phil.
It's a cashier song for every occasion.
I love it.
But also, Mount Ruapehu, stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it right now.
Not now, Ruapehu.
Don't need your shit right now.
Hey, there's a new gym in Sydney that has banned millennials and Gen Zs from joining.
Why?
What did we ever do?
What didn't we do?
Yeah, that's true.
The Australian Gym Chain Club Active does not take members under the age of 50.
50. That's what you've got to be.
When you turn 50, you can join this gym.
They have described the gym as a safe space for boomers.
So what, they can take selfies in the mirror using their iPads.
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
They can do their aerobics.
Full lycra. Yeah, full ly yeah. They can do their aerobics. Full lycra.
Yeah, full lycra and leg warmers.
The owners of the gym have said,
mainstream gyms are certainly not designed to support our age group,
nor are they overly welcoming,
which often impacts on the motivation for the over 50s to exercise.
And look, I get that.
I get that.
It can be intimidating going into the gym,
especially if you're not fit.
A lot of hotties in there sometimes.
Oh my God, tell me about it.
I go to the bloody Les Mills across the road.
It's like a...
A lot of hotties in there.
A lot of hotties.
It's like hotties central.
They put that on the billboards actually.
They do.
They're like, Les Mills, full of hotties.
Full of hotties.
Yeah, Les Mills, come for a perv.
Come check it out.
And they do.
It kind of sounds like the boomers just want to have a perv on people it out and they do it kind of sounds like that the boomers
just want to have a perv
on people their own age
to me
it's like
they can have
you know you got your
hot boomers in there
got your single boomers
your newly single boomers
your widowed boomers
your late life
divorcee boomers
yeah
and if you're not
if you're not that
tech savvy
if you don't know
how to download
tinder or bumble
maybe this is the way maybe you got to go to the boomer gym you swipe in real life I think it's an interesting And if you're not that tech savvy, if you don't know how to download Tinder or Bumble,
maybe this is the way. Maybe you've got to go to the Boomer Gym.
You swipe in real life.
I think it's an interesting concept,
banning millennials in particular from spaces and places.
And I say that as a millennial.
I think we've ruined a lot of things.
Oh, definitely.
And we're the ones who are taking videos in the gym.
We're the ones who are doing booty pics in the mirrors.
We're the ones, not me specifically, but we've in the gym. We're the ones who are doing booty pics in the mirrors. We're the ones, not me specifically,
but we've changed the experience.
So this afternoon,
can we brainstorm other locations
that would be better without millennials?
What else would go well?
I've got one.
Concerts.
Concert venues.
Why?
Because as a millennial,
we invented
the getting your phone out
and recording
every second of a concert
that you're never gonna look at again
you're never gonna watch that video
you're never gonna watch the video
of Justin Timberlake
and no one wants to see it
on your Instagram story
it's shit
no one wants to see that
and watching the concert
through your phone
yep
concerts will be better
without millennials
although I think we're a big part
of the audience
but yeah I get you
Bali the country Concerts will be better without millennials. Although I think we're a big part of the audience. But yeah, I get you.
Bali, the country.
They've turned it into the whole thing is just an Instagram experience now.
The food has to be Instagrammable.
The view has to be Instagrammable. The room, the villa, the outfit, the everything.
Oh, my God.
It's not a holiday anymore.
It's a content gathering exercise, you know.
So, Bali, any tropical destination,
way better without millennials.
Well, on a similar vein, I was going to say festivals.
Yeah, festivals.
Yeah, they'd go well without us.
To be honest, I think we're ageing out a little bit.
We actually are.
I know.
Almost handing over the reins to the Gen Zs, though.
They're going to have to start creating
millennial safe spaces for us to go to. Yeah. Gen Z's though. They're going to have to start creating millennial safe spaces for us to go to.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Gen Z free events.
The millennials are like,
yay, finally we can listen to Pitbull.
And last one I've got is the housing market.
Oh, no, no, wait.
We're already banned.
We're out of that.
Already locked out of that one.
So, yeah.
Perfect.
Already done.
Bree and Clint.
Time for the latest.
From iHeartRadio.
This is the latest. Live from LA with Dean McCarthy.
Dean's on the line with us.
I love it when we get this information.
Dean's about to reveal to us the net worth of Bradley Walsh from The Chase.
Oh, wow.
How rich is the guy that gives out the money?
Hi, Dean.
Hi, guys.
I love money stories.
I love what people pay for houses, all of it.
You're going to die.
Bradley Walsh, net worth $38 million.
Kiwi dollars.
$38 million?
Wow.
That's 20 million pounds.
What is happening to the world?
That makes me think that when someone doesn't beat the chaser
at the end of the show and that money is there.
He just pockets the money.
Yeah, if you don't get it, it goes into his bank account.
Although, in fairness, the chase is honestly one of the most popular shows on TVNZ.
Like, everyone watches the chase.
Everyone loves it.
It goes global.
It's syndicated worldwide.
They can't make enough episodes.
Yeah.
There must be a thousand episodes of the chase out there.
Totally.
But still, $38 million would be nice, wouldn't it, Dean?
Where would you set yourself up?
You had $38 million.
Where's the bougiest place in Los Angeles you'd go to buy your house?
Probably somewhere on the Sunset Strip, right?
Exactly, yes.
Just what I was going to say.
Just above the Sunset Strip.
I'd go Hollywood Hills.
People like to be in, like, you know, Bel Air or out near, like,
where the Kardashians live at Calabasas because you get more space.
I don't need space.
I need fabulosity.
You need to be close to da clubs.
Yeah, yeah, exactly right.
We're going to see you as a customer on season three of Selling Sunset.
That's what I want to see.
There you go.
$38 million for Bradley Walsh from The Chase.
He's bloody good at what he does.
He is.
So there you go.
That's what it's worth.
Bree and Clint.
We talked about this last year
but the coffee price
surge is on
and there are predictions that a
flat white, just a regular flat white
by the end of the year
$7.
$7.
Come on!
$7 for your
cup of hot bean juice.
Your Java Joe.
Your, um, your, uh...
No, I was lost at hot bean juice, to be honest.
Seven dollars.
If it's $4.50 for a coffee now,
and to be fair, we talked about this last year
and we sort of looked at the fact that it's been $4.50 for...
For such a long time.
Probably like a decade.
Yeah.
It's always been $4.50
or $4 there around about. But $7
is a big jump, right? It's huge.
They're blaming it on
one major factor,
the frost in Brazil,
which is the largest coffee producing country
in the world. It wiped out all the
green beans. I don't know what
those are, but they're important.
And then you add in shipping struggles because the bloody,
remember the Evergrande and the bloody Suez Canal?
It got stuck.
The Ever Given.
Yeah.
Blocked all the coffee.
Coffee's meant to unblock you.
And then they're bloody blocking the Suez Canal up.
This is going to devastate me because my alarm goes off at 3.30 in the morning.
I have two, at least two coffees before nine o'clock.
Where are you getting your coffees,
your barista coffees at that time of the morning?
Well, in usual times, outside of COVID,
we have a little cafe at TVNZ.
And what time do they open?
Seven o'clock.
Okay, that's good.
Yeah.
We have a machine in our newsroom.
And so this is big news for me.
I'm just going to do a bit of math for you.
So that's two coffees a morning for you, Matty,
at $7 a coffee.
That's $14 a day, five days a week.
You're looking at $70 a week on coffee
if they put the prices up to what they're talking about.
Oh, God.
So I thought we need to do a public service.
Radio's got to be good for something in these troubled times, right?
Can we use the airwaves this afternoon to find New Zealand's cheapest barista coffee?
Yeah, how far am I going to have to drive?
Yeah.
Am I driving to Te Alamutu?
You have to detour to Huntly to get your coffee
before the breakfast show each day.
But if you've got to do it, you've got to do it.
I think we set some parameters for this,
and we want you to shout out your coffee place
that does a good coffee and it's bloody cheap, okay?
Can we find the cheapest criteria?
It must be barista style.
Sure, so it can't be like filter coffee.
Can't be filter coffee.
Don't mind filter coffee, but that's not what we're looking for.
We're looking for someone who grinds some beans and foams some milk.
Yep. Right? And also
I want to chuck in this because
the big chains have the ability to do this
and I don't want to, no gas stations,
no big
takeaway chains, no Maccas or
Dunkin Donuts or anything like that
because it's different, right?
It could be good coffee, but we want to
find, where's a cafe who's doing your coffee for three bucks?
Just your local.
Just your local.
So you need to tell us where it is
and exactly how much the coffee is this afternoon.
And how far is the drive from TVNZ to this cafe?
0800 dial ZM or you can text us the details for this to 9696.
We're on a quest to find the cheapest
coffee in New Zealand.
Free in Clint. But first
we're trying to track down New Zealand's
cheapest cup of coffee.
You delivered some
devastating news before that
coffees could go up to
about $7, $7.50
by the end of the year. For a standard
flat white.
I'm not talking about an oat milk.
I'm not talking about a soy milk.
I'm not talking about an orange mocha frappuccino.
Just a bog standard flat white, $7.
That is daylight robbery.
So how do we find the cheapies?
And where do we have to go?
And do they do one of those loyalty card things where you buy nine coffees
and then your 10th coffee's free?
Yes.
I love those ones
because those are essentially a 10% discount
every time you go there.
So we're taking some intel from around the mutu.
We're looking for spies who love coffee and Kerry's here.
G'day, Kez.
Hey, how's things today?
Good.
How are you doing, Kerry?
Good, good.
Now, listen, my secret is in Palmerston North.
Oh, yeah?
And I know we keep a lot of secrets from everybody else.
Oh, yeah, you guys are teeming with secrets down there.
I know.
Exactly, we are. Yeah, yeah. But evening are teaming with secrets down there. I know. Exactly, we are.
Yeah, yeah.
But evening coffee, it is a proper rotisserie,
so you go in there, you can buy your beans,
you can buy your fancy-pantsy machine.
Yeah.
I can do it on my app, and I pay $3 for my Americana
with trim milk, and I order it for whatever time I want,
and if they're really organised, I even bring it to my car.
Wow.
For $3, Gary?
$3, and I just did pop on,
just because I thought maybe that's just an Americana,
because, you know, sometimes they're a bit cheaper.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you can get a long black or a flat white,
$3.50.
Wow.
You've done the research for us.
I have.
Yes, thank you.
I am doing the research.
I should be working, but I needed to, you know, do this.
You are working.
You're working for the people.
Yeah, you're working for us, Kerry.
That's right.
Discount for BYO Cup and
yes, loyalty cards, 10 coffee,
get one free. And you can also
gift your free
coffee to somebody like a
teacher or a
fire person. Do you work for the Ebony
Coffee Company, Kerry? You're a
great spokesperson. Thank you, thank you, Kerry? You're a great spokesperson.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you very much.
We appreciate that.
That is great intel.
We're going to go now live to Amy, who's in New Plymouth.
Hi, Amy.
Hello.
Do you drink a lot of coffee, Ames?
I don't drink coffee.
I drink hot chocolate, but it's still the same price.
Okay, well, give us the intel.
If we're in New Plymouth, what's the cheapest coffee and where do we get
it?
Ours is at the New Plymouth District
Council. There is actually a public
cafeteria in there. Not
many people know the secret.
So you don't have to work for the New Plymouth District
Council, but you can get a coffee there?
Yeah, it's a public cafe.
You just have your vaccine pass at the
moment. How much are we talking, Amy?
$2.80.
Whoa!
Whoa!
I'll take that.
But is it good, or is it made by, like, the mayor of New Plymouth or something?
Do they have to take shifts?
I'm pretty sure the mayor of New Plymouth likes the coffee there, so...
Okay.
Yeah, it is good.
And the hot chocolates aren't bad either?
Yeah, they're pretty good.
All right, we'll take that.
Bloody good.
Thank you very much.
Let's go live to Chris now.
Chris is on the line from the East Coast.
Kia ora, Chris.
G'day, how are we going?
Good, how are you doing?
Yeah, absolutely good, thank you.
All right, where do we go?
Where do we find the cheap coffee in Gizzy?
The City of Drains.
Raglan Roast is just the best place ever. $3.50
for a flatty. We are getting
inundated with messages about
Raglan Roasts around New Zealand,
all over the place. And I can attest to this
because, A, I've had Raglan Roast
in Gisborne. Great.
But my partner's sister lives just above
the Raglan Roast in Nelson.
Very cheap coffee and
really good coffee.
It's good coffee, eh?
Really good coffee.
The best.
How much, Chris?
And what does your coffee order?
$3.50 just for a standard double float white.
Yeah.
So you're having a fancy milk in there?
Are you on the oats or the soy?
No, no, no.
None of that.
Not the almond or the coconut?
No, just the standard, you know.
Straight up, right?
Straight up.
Yeah.
Straight out of the cow.
Absolutely.
Just our God intended. All right. Thank you, Chris, from the East Coast. know. Straight up, right? Straight up. Straight out of the cow. Absolutely. Just our God intended.
All right.
Thank you, Chris, from the East Coast.
Finally, Georgia's with us.
She's a barista.
Hi, Georgia.
Hi.
What do you know about the $7 coffee situation?
Is that in the plans?
Have you been told that in the Secret Baristas Club?
No, no, no, not in the plans.
Not for at our stores.
Really?
We do $3 coffees.
$3?
On Wednesday.
Where are you? We do $3 coffees. $3? On Wednesdays. Where are you?
Where do you work?
So I work at Oreki, and we also have stores in Newmarket and Commercial Bay.
It's called Bowlin Arrow.
Yes, I've heard of you guys.
Oh, I've had coffee from there.
It is good coffee.
Yeah, so we do small, medium, large every Wednesday, $3.
$3.
Take that.
Bada bing, bada boom.
Are they working you to the bone, Georgia, for that $3.50 that. Bada bing, bada boom. Are they working you to the bone, Georgia,
for that $3 fiffy that you're getting?
No, no, no.
Cough three times if you need help.
I've got great bosses.
Yeah, good stuff.
Well, there you go, everybody.
That's the intel from around the country.
It might be going up soon,
but for now you need to get in and get your cheap coffee while you can.
Oh, we didn't ask any questions about the scones.
I've been getting some good intel on scones. I'll share them with you another day. Yeah, it's tomorrow's topic. Today questions about the scones. I've been getting some good intel on scones.
I'll share them with you another day.
Yeah.
It's tomorrow's topic.
Today coffee, tomorrow scones.
Bree and Clint.
The name game.
The name game, as you desperately try to get through for the secret sound,
is where you go head to head with Maddie guessing names of celebrities
who use the name that I give you
as part of their name.
So give us an example.
Like if I said Tom, you might say...
Hanks.
Exactly right.
And you'd get a point for that.
Here to take you on today to win some KFCs, Paula.
Kia ora, Paula.
Hello.
How are you going, Paula?
I'm doing very well, thanks.
Good.
You ready to play?
Yes.
You feeling, like, quick? Quick-witted today? I'll do, thanks. Good. You ready to play? Yes. You feeling like quick, quick-witted today?
I'll do my best.
Good.
Just don't think too much.
Just yell it out.
Whatever comes to your mind, yell it out.
And if it's famous enough, you'll get a point.
You don't need buzzers for this, right?
We just say your name?
No buzzers.
No buzzers.
Just yell me out an answer, okay, Paula?
Okay.
Perfect.
First celebrity in the name game, Someone give me a famous Gemma.
Watson.
Gemma Watson.
No, no, that's Emma Watson.
Gemma.
Gemma.
Richie McCaw's married to one.
Gemma.
Gemma Collins.
Gemma Collins.
From the GC.
No, from The Only Way of Z6.
Gemma McCaw.
Gemma McCaw, we would have taken that.
But we'll settle on Gemma Collins.
That's one point to Matty.
Okay.
Tenuously, but we got there.
From the GC.
She's called the GC.
They call her the GC.
Right, I was going to say,
the only person from the GC will accept us,
Rosanna.
Okay, celebrity number two.
Someone give me a famous Martin.
Martin Lawrence.
Yeah, bloody good.
Well done, Paula.
You got a point on the board.
Yahoo.
Two more of those and you win the game.
Someone give me a famous Conrad.
Conrad.
Smith.
Yes, Conrad Smith.
The All Black.
I knew there was an All Black Black I knew there was an All Black
I knew there was an All Black
I also had Conrad Hurrell
The former Warriors player
And Conrad Hilton
Paris and
Paris' granddad
Oh right
The guy who started the Hilton hotels
Oh there you go
Is that two points to Paula?
It is
You can win the game here Paula
If you get this one okay
Oh cool
Someone give me a famous
Diane Keaton Yes Diane Keaton this one, okay? Oh, cool. Someone give me a famous Diane
Keaton.
Yes.
Diane Keaton.
Diane Keaton.
That would do.
Would have accepted
Sawyer.
Oh, yeah.
Or Thomas L.
Breezemum.
Oh, I'm a die.
Yeah.
All right, we're all tied up.
You can still win it here,
okay, Paula?
Okay.
Someone give me a famous
Daisy.
Daisy Duke. Okay. Someone give me a famous Daisy. Daisy Duke.
Oh.
I can't accept Daisy Duke.
Daisy.
Daisy Ridley.
Daisy Ridley.
Yep.
There you go.
That's the game.
I would have accepted Daisy Fuentes and Israel Dagg's wife, Daisy Dagg.
Paula, we can't give you the win,
but we can give you the 50 KFC chicken dollars as a consolation prize.
Oh, that's lovely.
Thank you so much.
Get yourself some KFC.
You can't tell your family that you're the name game champion,
but you can buy them some KFC, okay?
Yeah, thank you.
Hey, Producer Ben probably has done this.
Have you ever done the Tongariro Crossing?
Yes, love it.
Loved it.
You would have done it as well, Ben, right?
Yeah, I've done it a few times, yeah.
Ben calls it an entry-level hike, right, Ben?
Is it?
Well, yes, for beginners and children.
Yeah, for beginners and children.
It's a seven-hour hike across a mountain range. A leisurely stroll.
Well, I haven't done it.
So I'm trying to picture this
because one of my friends told me
the most bonkers story the other day.
He knows a dock ranger.
And he said that often
because people were doing the Tongariro crossing
in just a day trip.
Yeah.
And then they get picked up on either end, right?
Right.
They usually send a dock ranger as kind of the...
Sweeper?
The sweeper.
Right.
To make sure everyone's okay, is everyone off,
there's no issues, no one's kind of fallen or hurt themselves.
Right, so a ranger has to do that walk every day.
Apparently.
Well, it's a leisurely walk in the park.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's so easy.
Yeah. It's a walk in the park. Absolutely. It's so easy. But my friend knows a dock ranger who had to do this walk.
And at one point, he heard something as he was rounding a corner.
And he thought, oh, there are still people on the track.
I hope everyone's okay.
Right.
And then started to hear noises and thought, oh, is everyone okay?
Those are some interesting noises I'm hearing. Right. And then started to hear noises and thought, oh, is everyone okay? Those are some interesting noises I'm hearing.
Right. Walked around
the corner and saw
a couple of people getting
their rocks off on the
rocks of the
Tonga Dedo Crossing. Really? They're having
a nature session? They're having a
little bit of fun.
They're going bush in the bush.
They're enjoying the bush in the bush.
You said a couple of people?
Well, it was a couple of people doing the deed.
Yeah.
But there were more people present.
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
Because this wasn't a private affair.
Yeah.
This was a porno.
Are you serious?
Being shot on one of our great walks.
Like Lord of the Rings or something?
Like, yeah.
That is bizarre.
I'm trying to think of the name for it.
You know, they always have a porno related.
I shouldn't go there, should I?
Yeah.
Tongue,
tongue her
rear hole
crossing.
Sorry,
sorry,
sorry.
That's it,
that's the perfect name.
Sorry.
Sorry,
Ben.
Rua Pei,
oh yeah.
Nada,
ho,
e. Isn't that wild?
So we're talking camera crew.
Yeah, I don't know.
Makeup artist.
No, I don't think.
Someone who holds that big silver disc thing.
Yes.
Really?
A boom mic.
No, I don't think it was high budget.
I think this was low budget, but there was definitely filming involved.
Two dudes with iPhones.
Yeah.
A little camcorder at least.
What do you do as the Doc Ranger?
Like, is that a legal activity to happen
on one of our great walks?
Well, apparently,
and I don't know exactly what happened,
but apparently he did have to approach them.
Yeah, you would.
And say, no, no.
Well, at worst,
you'd have to tell them to get off the track.
Yeah.
They're like, you can keep doing what you're doing,
but you need to walk while you do it.
You're right.
I need you going up the devil's staircase while you shoot this thing
because I need to get you off the track.
It's not a euphemism, by the way, going up the devil's staircase.
That's what she said.
Tongue hair.
Well, that's not an expected part of the doc job.
I'm sure you've seen plenty of native animals
doing that on the track before.
You'd be worried too that they were going to roll over
and crush some rare snails or something.
Totally.
But then I thought,
well, is Tourism New Zealand missing out
on a really crucial piece of marketing here?
You know, they often give tax breaks to film crews
that want to come and shoot big budget productions here.
They shot part of Lord of the Rings right there.
Totally. In the Tongariro National Park.
Yeah, Amazon's been shooting the
Lord of the Rings TV series in
West Auckland. Do we need to open up some of our great
sites to pornos? Is that what you're suggesting?
Shoot one up, The Remarkables. That'd be a cold one.
Be a bit of shrinkage
and friplidge going on in that one.
Shoot one up.
Something. Okay, alright. Well, you put the shortlist together, we'll float it out to be a bit of shrinkage and fripledge going on on that one shoot one up something okay alright
well you put the shortlist together
we'll float it out to
who even makes those movies
I don't even know
I don't know
if you're a
yeah
if you're listening
if you're an international
porno company listening
at the moment
hit us up
we need to rejuvenate
the economy
exactly
we'll help you out
I've got some
I've got some
contacts at Tourism New Zealand
I'll see you out
I kind of want to see it
I kind of just want to see
What I want to know is
Why was the location relevant?
And was theming important?
Yeah, exactly right
Was it two hikers in a chance meeting?
Free and Clint
Okay, so Imogen Horton
Is a YouTuber from the UK
She's got half a million subscribers
And she has decided to upload a video of her birth
for her fans to watch.
This is the thing that whenever you think of influencers
or vloggers or like the Kardashians,
you always go, they'll do anything.
They'll show anything.
It's all for the gram.
It's all for the content.
They'll even broadcast their birth. But you kind of say it in a joking way.
Yes. But this person literally
is going to do that. She's done it.
The video is titled Raw Unedited
Positive Birth Vlog
of Our First Baby and it's 34 minutes
long. So that's a fast birth
if it's an unedited video. That's quite a
quick birth. So they've caught the tail end.
Yeah, good for her. And it's had over 700 000 views so the question i have is is this normal should you
be booking a videographer for your birth here to answer that question for us this afternoon
is kiwi birth videographer rachel from soul haven creative productions hi rachel Corrections. Hi, Rachel. So, hello there. Oh, thank you.
Just birthing you into the... I've had enough of that in my life.
We're just birthing you into the conversation.
Exactly.
Oh, thank you.
I feel so welcomed.
And we're getting you used to the noises
that you're probably going to hear on your videos.
I've got one of my own.
I don't need more.
Well, great point.
Did you video your birth?
I didn't really want to be worrying about that at the time
Yeah no we joke
Hence why people you know
Yeah
Hire photographers and videographers
Well Maddie joked at the start
But a Kardashian did video her birth
She might have been one of the first
That was on an episode of
Keeping Up With The Kardashians
Yes
Who's the eldest one?
Courtney
Don't ask me
Pulled her baby out
It was quite incredible to watch
Is it normal? Tell us Rachel You're a birth videographer Is it normal to have your birth video? And Courtney pulled her baby out. It was quite incredible to watch.
Is it normal?
Tell us, Rachel, you're a birth videographer.
Is it normal to have your birth videoed?
Well, I think it's a very personal choice.
It's not really very common in New Zealand.
A lot of people don't even know it's an option.
They don't even think about it.
And of course, there's obvious reasons why you go,
why would you do that?
It's an incredibly personal thing.
The women, one in particular I'm thinking of,
she says she still watches it every day.
Her child is five.
Why? Why?
Why? Why? Why? Why?
Why have you had a child?
You know, as a person giving birth,
like I've done this now,
when I first started doing this,
I hadn't had a child,
and now I have.
You don't, you're not really present.
Right.
To have a little keepsake that you can watch,
you know, the videos that I make,
they cut down to quite a short,
sort of like a music video, really.
Like a TikTok.
They cut down five to ten,
a little longer, but, you know,
to relive a moment that is profound and special.
You've never been present at a birth, have you, Maddie?
No, I haven't.
So, Rachel, I've been present at the birth of both of my daughters, and you're right.
Yes.
It is a magical experience for lots of reasons,
and you said you've had one.
The second one was definitely, I mean, I didn't have to birth the baby,
but it was possibly more magical because there was some expectation around it.
Do you think more people should video their birth
so that more people know what is expected
when a baby decides to poke its head out and come into the world?
That's a really good question,
and actually I don't think it's a straightforward answer
because the thing that bugs me about the YouTuber uploading hers is that if
people flick through, which is what they'll do, they're not going to sit and watch 35 minutes,
they're going to flick straight through to the right. They'll get a terrifying image of what
birth is immediately. And I think it's really important that we watch positive birth experiences
so that we have a positive experience and a positive relationship with birth.
It's an incredible part of life and it is a beautiful experience.
Who generally watches your birth video after you've had one made?
Well, I've only got one that's public and that's on my website for those who want to go and watch it.
Don't worry, it's very discreet.
There's nothing showing.
Tasteful.
Very discreet, yeah.
Very tasteful. And basically, she'll watch it. Tasteful. Very discreet, yeah. Very tasteful.
And basically, she'll watch it.
She shared it on her Facebook.
Amazing.
So she just shared it around everywhere and watches it all the time.
But I think most people, they watch it. They watch it again and again.
They will watch it in 20 years' time.
They will be able to show it to their children.
Their children will be able to see their own birth
and their mother and their father and their family
and whoever is present at the birth,
which I think is really special as well.
Maddie is wincing in the corner.
It's okay, I understand.
It's not for everyone.
No.
I don't do many because people don't think about it.
Right, so just before you go,
I'm just curious to know,
how close up do you get?
Not very close up.
I mean, it's really up to the parents
if they want me to get right in there.
Selective angles, right? If that's a request, then I mean, it's really up to the parents if they want me to get right in there. Selective angles, right?
If that's a request, then I'll do it.
But no, I generally don't even see anything myself.
Hey, Rachel, it's been very insightful.
We've made a lot of jokes, but you're doing beautiful work,
so we appreciate your time.
Oh, I thank you.
Rachel, if you're looking to get your birth videoed,
you should hit them up.
Go and Google Soul Haven Creative Productions.
Thanks so much.
My pleasure.
You have a great day.
Bree and Clint. I'm tired. Just looking out the window, it's Thanks so much. My pleasure. You have a great day. Brian Clint.
So I'm tired.
Just looking out the window,
it's getting bloody dark.
I know.
Oh, I hate this time of year
when you have to actually accept
that summer's over.
Yeah.
I mean, the floods yesterday
should have been...
That was your first clue.
Should have been an indicator.
And the fact that it's mid-March.
Yeah, that's another bit of it, I guess.
Yeah.
I mean, if you're in the South Island right now,
you can't relate to us.
No.
Because God, it stays light down there late.
So late.
But in Auckland,
I think if you were driving home right now,
you'd need to put your headlights on.
And it's always, you know,
this is going to dominate chat for the next couple of weeks.
Oh, it's getting really dark outside.
Oh, jeez, bloody dark out there.
Both ends of the day, too.
If you get up early, you go,
it's still bloody dark out there.
Yeah.
It's life, eh?
You do that with someone that you love for 50 years,
and then you die.
Yeah.
And that's a quarter relationship.
That's a life well lived.
It's my birthday.
It's my birthday.
Three and Clint's birthday banger.
It's getting cold.
We'll have to put the duvet back on the bed.
Oh, it's getting warm.
Do you think we should take the duvet off the bed?
Ours is always, oh, it's Friday night.
Should we just get takeaways tonight?
There's a script, eh?
Yeah.
There's a script.
And they're great.
And I love all of it.
Totally.
And rinse and repeat.
And rinse and repeat.
Yes, please.
Over and over and over.
You're lucky if you get to do that.
Roman's here.
Kia ora, Roman.
Hey, how you doing?
Roman, have you noticed how dark it's getting outside?
I have.
There's rain clouds above.
Yeah, tell me about it.
Days getting a bit shorter, aren't they, Roman?
They are.
Hey, what's your birthday, Roman?
It's 8 October 1983.
All right, Roman.
You were 16 on the 8th of October 1999,
and this was topping the charts.
Don't you know it's true what they say? That life, it ain't easy. the 8th of October 1999, and this was topping the charts.
You have set Matty alight with that song.
It's right in his wheelhouse.
Do you like it, Roman?
Not so much.
Oh, Roman, get on board.
Come on.
You're not an S Club 7 man, Roman.
No, not really. Okay, no, that's all right. Wait there. We'll get another S Club seven man, Roman. No, not really.
Okay, no, that's all right.
Wait there.
We'll get another birthday. He would have preferred Papa Roach or something.
I think.
Or P.O.D.
Blood House Gang.
Brad's here.
G'day, Brad.
How's it going?
Good, man.
How are you?
Yeah, not bad.
Just having a few games.
Thanks for that, Brad.
Have you noticed how dark it's getting outside, Brad?
No, I haven't actually.
I've just been inside.
It is.
Ice cream cones, right, Brad?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes, lots of them.
In your car.
Jeez, Brad.
Okay.
Let's do...
Let's do your birthday, Banger Man.
What's your birthday?
10th of 6th
June
Okay
And what year Brad?
88
Too many cones Brad
The cognitive's not quite working today
You were 16 on the 10th of June 2004
And this is your number one song Brad
No
The man having too many cones Does not get burned song, Brad. No!
The man having too many cones does not get burned.
Oh, you've got to let it burn.
No!
Birthday man, no!
That was Ridden in the Stars, wasn't it, Brad?
It definitely was.
Do you enjoy a bit of Usher, Brad?
Oh, of course.
There's no Bob Marley, eh?
Okay, wait there, B-Rad.
We're doing one more for Michaela.
Hey, Michaela.
Hey.
I don't know how I'm going to top that one.
Oh, my God.
Neither do we.
We don't need you to, Michaela.
All we need you to do is tell us when your birthday is.
It's the 25th of January.
Okay.
What year?
97.
Okay, Michaela, you were 16 on the 25th of Jan 2013,
and this is your birthday banger.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
A beautiful birthday banger.
You like it?
Yeah, it's alright.
Yeah.
I mean, it's not going to set the party on fire, is it?
Brad wouldn't enjoy this song right now.
It's not really the vibe.
But it's significant, so wait there.
It's very straightforward for me,
not just because of who he was,
because of what the song is,
I have to vote for Usher Byrne.
Yeah, look, I do love a bit of
S Club 7, you know that about me.
I dance to it rigorously
at your wedding. Yes, you did, yep.
But I'm going to go, just
because of Brad. It's Brad's day, aye? It's Brad's day.
Brad, you bloody
inappropriate
bastard, you. Congratulations, you've
just won birthday banger.
Enjoy the cookies And cream Brad
Oh
Go down to the shop now
And buy a six pack
Yeah rum and raisin
No we're talking about
Ice cream
We're keeping the
Ice cream joke going Brad
That's what I mean
A six pack of ice cream
Perfect
Perfect
Perfect
Perfect
Free and Clint
Is there anything worse
Than having to move
Out of your flat or house?
It's hell, eh?
It's so bad.
I'm so glad, and it's a very privileged position to be in.
I'm so happy to not be flatting anymore because it was like a yearly thing.
The leases were a year, and even if the landlord didn't want you out after a year,
quite often the flat would disband because people go and do other things,
and then you're looking for flatmates, you're looking for houses.
So stressful. And I swear, every time I move, I go, this other things. And then you're looking for flatmates, you're looking for houses. So stressful.
And I swear every time I move, I go, this is it.
That's it.
Never again.
Yeah.
And I also go, oh, next time I'm just going to pay someone to do it for me.
And then it comes around and you go, oh, actually, Dave's got a trailer and I've got a tow bar.
I'll just do it myself.
Totally.
Yeah.
But on top of all of the stresses of moving, there's one thing that you should probably always do,
and that is double, maybe even triple check
that you haven't left anything behind.
You know, like go through all the cupboards,
all the drawers, everything,
make sure they're all cleaned out,
that there's nothing there.
Because it can be a pain in the ass,
especially if you're flatting,
to get back in to get something that you've left behind.
Oh, I quite like going back
and just seeing the new people who live there and being like i am actually used to
live i used to live here do you want to take a little look around see what you've done with the
place um but one woman on twitter has had a really really uncomfortable situation unfold okay because
she left something at her house.
This is Mal on Twitter. She's a 22
year old and she said, this is probably the worst
text I have ever received from
my landlord. It just
says, do you want these?
Oh, those
are personal items. Oh,
wow, those are very colourful and quite long
and very intimate items.
Wow, that's her special drawer.
That's her special drawer.
Some electronic, some manual.
There's a number of them.
Wow, she's got quite the range.
Some are small.
Some are very big.
Some have balls on them.
I don't own any of these items um but i don't think they're cheap
but those don't look like cheap ones no no no no no no they can be quite expensive
apparently also is the landlord like what do you do i see the landlords taking a picture in the
drawer rather than taking them out and holding them and taking a selfie with it and like do you
want one of these? But imagine.
I mean, first of all, imagine being the landlord stumbling upon that.
Second of all, imagine being the girl who gets a text from her landlord.
Because usually landlords, when you're at that age renting,
are often like your parents.
Mums and dads.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or they're Sandy from Harcourt's.
Exactly.
And she's like, you can come and pick it up from the central office.
I'll leave them at reception for you.
Nigel from Quinovic has gone out to do the final inspection.
Hey, you left your colourful rolling pins.
Mal said, yes, I just moved out.
I've been looking for my babies.
And yes, my landlord was nice enough to give them back good for her i would
have deleted my phone number uh we talked about coffee maybe going up to seven dollars a cup
earlier in the show which is shocking gas has gone mental auntie cindy sorted it out a bit for us but
it's still going mental temporarily yeah um Temporarily. Houses. What else is getting expensive?
Everything, right? Groceries.
There's a new thing, an essential item.
I'm going to say it's an essential item that is
now reported to go up a substantial
amount this year. And that essential item,
which you may not be
able to live without,
booze.
No!
No, no, no, no, no.
Our one comfort in these troubled times.
Don't do this to me.
Also, obviously this message is not endorsed
by the Alcohol Advisory Board, but
we need it! We need it!
How are we meant to deal with all of this crap
if we can't go home and have a drink at the end
of the day? Exactly.
Before I tell you how much it's going to
go up, do you want to know why? Do you care why? Do to know why yeah i need a reason i need a reason okay well the reason
someone to blame right okay well there's a few uh the reason your booze is going to cost more this
year is an increase in the cost of doing business including the cost of transportation shipping
costs have tripled since the start of the pandemic fuel costs wages costs costs of goods and services regulatory and compliance cost and excise tax and the cost of aluminium so if you drink your
booze out of a tinny um the cost of aluminium has doubled in the last 12 months i don't care
i don't care i just want a bottle of gin. Well, bottle of gin. Let me tell you about that one. Did you know that in 2022, more than half of the price of a one litre bottle of spirits is actually excise tax?
Wow.
Half of how much you pay for your bottle of, what do you drink?
Seegers?
Oh, anything.
Tankery?
Yeah, tankery.
Escape Grace?
Hendrix?
Whatever it is you're into.
Half of that, Gordon's? Oh, Gordon's Pink Whatever it is you're into. Half of that.
Gordon's.
Oh, Gordon's Pink Gin.
Gordon's is good.
That's nice.
Half of it goes to the government.
So, Aunty Cindy could come in if she needed to, just like with the petrol and go,
we're taking the price of alcohol down.
We're taking 25 cents off a litre.
Prime Minister, because I know you're a big fan of the show,
you listen for Doja Cat. I thought you were going to say big fan of the show, you listen for Doja Cat.
I thought you were going to say big fan of the gin.
Please, do me a favour.
This is my one comfort, my one joy in life.
Do Uncle Matty a solid.
Do me a favour and, you know, bring the price down a bit.
Exactly.
Is it too much to ask?
So how much is it going to go up? How much are they expecting booze prices to go up this year?
Well, I can tell you it's expected to be 20%, which is heaps.
That's heaps.
So if you get like, say you get a box a weekend, if it goes up,
let me do a bit of quick math here.
You're only going to get four boxes for what you used to pay for five boxes.
That's a good way to look at it.
Wow.
If you pay $30 for a box of, I don't know, what do you drink, long whites?
I don't want a long white.
If you pay $30 for those, it's going to go up to $36 under this calculation.
And you know what?
That $6 might not seem much right now,
but I want you to picture yourself in the back of the Uber
in the KFC drive-thru on the way home,
and that six bucks is like two snack burgers.
That really could mean the difference between life and death the next day.
How are we meant to go on?
I don't know, man.
I don't know, but we'll do it together.
Sober, but we'll do it together.
Z-Dame's Brand Clint. On Insta, Facebook, TikTok, and we'll do it together. Sober, but we'll do it together.