ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint with Matty McLean Podcast – 24th March 2022
Episode Date: March 24, 2022Mattys iso-kitHow many kms has your car done?The final DILF FactorHeight differenceNew icksSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....
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The ZM Podcast Network
G'day everybody, welcome to the Brian Clint Podcast with Matty. What are you laughing at?
Can I get Ben and Anastasia to just pay attention for a second?
We always pay attention.
Something funny happened at work today. I was talking to someone who I hadn't seen for a while.
There's people in and out of the building at TVNZ now.
And someone said to me, how have you been?
And I said, yeah, good.
Pretty busy.
I'm doing, obviously, breakfast in the morning and then coming in and filling on ZM in the
afternoons.
Yeah.
And they said, oh, is that with Clint?
And I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, Clint.
He and I go way back.
And the guy said to me, he's Christian, eh?
And I was like, no, I don't know he's not i said what why and he goes oh he just looks like a youth pastor yeah okay yeah
we're talking easter camp we're talking friday night youth group He's playing guitar at Parachute. Oh, definitely.
What about me looks like a youth pastor?
It's just the vibe.
You're approachable.
My overly friendly vibe.
Radio nice guy Clint Roberts.
Are you sure that he wasn't confusing me with the other Radio Clint?
No, he was.
Who is Christian?
Christian, yeah.
No, no, he knew exactly who you were.
You sure?
I'm positive.
Ozzy, I give off Crizzo vibes. I mean, no offence
to the Christians out there.
I just ain't one.
I'm a bad boy.
Remember we said this.
I'm a bad boy.
You are not a bad boy.
I'm a bad boy
and I know what I want.
Hey guys,
can I just have a moment
to tell you about
a good friend of mine?
His name's Jesus.
Jesus Christ.
Oh.
Anyway, here's Wonderwall.
A-ring-a-chick,
a-ring-a-chick.
I can play three chords on the guitar.
Can you?
Yeah, it's very campfire, my strum as well.
It's actually my genuine New Year's resolution this year
is to learn the guitar.
Sure, we talked about that five weeks ago.
I know.
How's it going?
Still in the case.
It's okay, babes.
Do you have a song in mind?
Unlike you, your guitar hasn't come out yet.
Nice one, Clint.
Got him.
See, would a youth pastor make such a risque gay joke, bro?
Woody?
Actually, to be fair, youth pastors are traditionally quite homophobic,
so maybe they would.
They definitely would.
Oh, my God, maybe I am.
Maybe I is.
Just quickly, would you like a bit of resolution on the great dolphin outro?
Yes, do we have it?
Obviously, we can't decide on this together.
This is a Bree and Clint decision, so we can't do anything until Bree gets back.
But before she gets back, I want to gather the evidence of why do we do the dolphin?
Yeah, because I asked that question the other day.
Yeah, why is that the way we go out?
I just assumed there was a story behind it.
And I believe everything should be up for review, I think.
Keep the classics.
But if something doesn't feel right, don't keep doing it for the sake of it, you know?
So we asked you, do you know why we started doing the dolphin?
And Damien Daly has replied.
And he knows?
He said, hey team, in answer to the question yesterday the first case of the dolphin in the podcast intro was the 18th
of january 2021 damien knows his stuff there was a beach and dolphin chat in the intro and it was
the first podcast of 2021 and 2021 2021 yeah so the beginning of last year
well it's only 12 13 months ago yeah but uh he said there was also quite a lot of chat about
bleaching buttholes oh no not one of those so you used it once and then obviously you decided that
was going to be your thing i thought it was was because we always made fun of you, Clint,
for being awkward at the end of the podcast.
That's what I said, yeah.
Bill Krujak, or Kru-Kru-Yuck.
Sorry, I can't pronounce your last name, man.
It's jazzy.
Bill said the dolphin was to replace the awkward outros.
Because at the end, traditionally,
Clint would be talking and everything
and obviously would reach that point of the conversation
where it's time to play the podcast.
And Clint would be like,
awesome, all right, guys, here's the podcast.
Before I became a super smooth TV host.
Yeah.
But they're probably both right.
So Damien is probably right in that that was the first instance of you using the sound host. Yeah. But they're probably both right. So Damien is probably right
in that that was the first instance
of you using the sound effect.
Yes.
And then the sound effect
was obviously there,
ready to go.
And so you just decided to use it
to fill the awkward silences.
I think you've connected up the dots, Maddie.
Thank you.
So Brie, if you're listening,
and this is the decision
that she'll need to make with us on Monday,
would you prefer the dolphin to stay
or would you prefer a return to awkward outros?
Oh, is that the...
So you're not replacing it with another sound effect?
We do have another alternative,
but I don't know if you guys remember
the news outro sting we used to do.
Oh, yeah.
Do you remember that? I loved the news outro. I liked it too. Oh, yeah. Do you remember that?
I loved the news outro.
I liked it too.
But we've lost our news sting.
No, I got it.
Did you get it back?
I'll find it.
The right one?
Yes.
Listen to him.
He's so triggered.
I thought that was good.
I liked that.
So did I.
So what was the news sting?
So we go around the room and we do a news sign-off?
Yeah.
Right.
Well, we do have someone from the news.
We could give it a go.
We could try one of those today.
You guys buffer while I find.
So it goes,
it goes,
you've been listening to the Brian Clint podcast.
I'm Clint Roberts.
And we go around the room.
And then the last person has to say their name as the sign-off.
Yeah.
But they need to say it with the right inflection.
And you,
oh, you'd have to.
Yeah, he would.
Should we go to him last?
Should we go to him first and last?
Double down. Just last?
Anastasia, you do it first then.
You've been listening to the
Brian Clint Podcast. I'm producer
Anastasia. I'm Ben McDowell.
I'm Clint Roberts.
And I'm Madty McLean.
Fuck these guys.
ZM's Bree and Clint with Matty McLean.
Hello, everybody.
It's Matty's second to last day on the show.
So bring in the stripper.
Bring in the stripper.
Where is it?
Where the bloody hell is it?
Where is he?
Okay, he's got a name.
Oh, you're right.
Bring in Derek.
He's just smoking at the moment.
Okay, he's just finished his shift.
He's a road worker.
He hasn't showered,
so there's a bit of road dirt on him.
It's all part of the illusion, right? It's all part of the charm.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind that.
That's your fantasy, eh? A little bit of rough and ready. Highwayman? Yeah, exactly. That's all part of the illusion, right? It's all part of the charm. Yeah, I wouldn't mind that. That's your fantasy, eh?
A little bit of rough and ready.
Highwayman, that's your...
Yeah, exactly.
That's what you're looking for?
Yeah, with like a lollipop sign.
Yeah, yeah.
And he uses that as his pole.
Yes.
Yes.
And a lollipop in his mouth.
And he puts the lollipop in your mouth.
There he is, actually.
Right there.
Oh.
God, there is a guy out with a high-vis vest outside.
Yeah, that's Derek.
All right.
Today on the show, two shots at the secret sound.
What is it?
What is the secret sound?
You've never given away a secret sound before, have you?
I haven't.
God, wouldn't that be good?
Wouldn't it be fun to do it before you leave?
It would be so fun.
You could let off the big confetti cannon.
Yeah, so listen, because I want you to get it before I go.
We'll do that at four and five o'clock.
But first, we'll kick the show off with Tradiverse Lady.
If you'd like to win $50 cash thanks to KFC,
you should call us right now and compete in a battle of wits with us.
The tradies are up quite significantly as well,
so we need a lady to claw it back.
Let's do it. Give us a call now.
We'll play after Dua Lipa and Elton John on ZM.
Bree and Clint with Maddie.
Bree and Clint.
Time for Tradiverse Lady. Bree and Clint with Maddie. Bree and Clint. Time for Tradie vs. Lady.
Bree and Clint.
Tradie vs. Lady.
The greatest battle on radio between the ladies and the tradies.
The tradies are ahead by 23 games to 17.
It was a battle, I'm sure, before this started.
They didn't even realise they had.
And now they're locked into it.
Deep into it.
We've just tapped into an existing feud with this game.
Let's meet our contestants today.
Our lady is from Te Whanganui-a-Tara.
She is 39 years old, and she loves going to the gym.
Get them gains, girl.
It's Kat.
Hey, Kat.
Oh, hey.
What do you like doing at the gym?
What do I like doing at the gym?
I like pushing sleds. Pushing sleds? Oh, I like doing at the gym? I like pushing
sleds. Pushing sleds?
I hate those.
Yeah, wow. Bit of cardio,
bit of strength, bit of bum stuff.
I don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah.
Pretty much. Let's meet your bum stuff.
Let's meet your opposition today.
I don't know about bum stuff.
Powerful, powerful posterior chain.
I got you, but yeah.
Don't knock it
until you try it.
Let's meet our trader.
He's 24.
He's from the Garden City
and he has 8 million views
on one of his YouTube videos.
Whoa!
Welcome to the show,
Ollie.
Hey, Ollie.
How's it going?
Good, how are you?
Good.
What's the video of?
So at the end of Wreck-It Ralph 2,
there's a scene where they do a parody
of the Never Gonna Give You Up music video.
Yes.
So I put it side by side to the original video
and uploaded it.
Oh, wow.
See, sometimes it's the simplest of things, right?
Yeah.
There you go, 8 million views.
Can you win $8 million?
Or $50?
Thanks to KFC.
You've just got to get three answers correct and you'll get it.
Ollie, you're the tradie.
Kat, you're the lady.
Those are your buzzers.
Good luck.
All right, question number one.
Kate Middleton and Prince William are in Jamaica at the moment on a royal tour.
What sport did Jamaica infamously compete in at the Winter Olympics?
Ollie.
Bobsledding.
Got it.
Well done.
Question number two.
Chris Pontius, one of the stars of Jackass,
has talked about a stunt involving sharks that went pretty wrong.
His Jackass co-star is called Johnny who?
Lady.
Yes, cat.
Not Phil.
Well done.
One each.
Question number three.
Inflation is set to impact alcohol prices.
Next.
No.
Some economists predict a 20% price rise on your favourite booze.
Name a type of wine.
Yes, Kat.
Chardonnay.
Chardonnay.
Love it.
Want to see my Michael Jackson dance moves?
Love me a Chardonnay. Question number four. Remember that girl called Chardonnay love it want to see my Michael Jackson dance moves love me a Chardy
question number four
remember the girl
called Chardonnay
in the movie Boy
I remember
I felt like that
reference was missed
no it just fell flat
oh right
yeah yeah
I got it
but I was like
oh
yeah yeah
we were all just
trying to move on
Kat
and he won't let us
question number four
Sonny Bill Williams
see it's a Taika Waititi movie
yeah we got it and it's got James yeah yeah we know it yeah we know Question number four. Sonny Bill Williams... See, it's a Taika Waititi movie. Yeah, we got it.
And it's got James Rollins in it.
Yeah, we know it.
Okay, cool.
Yeah, we know it.
Question number four.
Sonny Bill Williams has won his latest boxing fight
with a knockout punch.
What sport did SBW used to play?
Brady.
Yes, Ollie.
What?
Who was that?
It was Ollie.
It actually was Ollie Cat, unfortunately.
So he gets the point.
It is a scores level situation.
This is the tiebreaker.
This is the decider.
Good luck to both of you.
Question number five.
There's a petition to cut Kanye West from the Coachella lineup.
Which country is Coachella in?
Trini.
Ollie for the win.
Oh, come on.
US?
Yeah, well done.
That is correct.
Kat is not happy that it's going to be an angry gym session this afternoon.
I would not want to be a sled.
We've fuelled her fire, though.
Well done, Ollie, by the way.
Thank you.
50 bucks cash thanks to our mates at KFC
Awesome thanks
Brian Clint
I said I've got a surprise for you and I've got a surprise for you
So I've been here for five weeks now
Yes
And before I started on this show
I tell you what
I bloody loved a surprise
Yes
Loved being the centre of attention
Yeah
And now it puts me on edge
I'm terrified
Our surprises have always had a bit of a twist in the tail, haven't they?
No, this one's good and this is something you genuinely want.
Is there something that you think you should have at the moment
and haven't received?
Oh, my God.
Like I've been watching your Instagram
and you've complained about not having something.
I know exactly what you're complained about not having something.
I know exactly what you're talking about.
What is the thing?
The TVNZ marketing team have sent out bloody home isolation kits.
Have you got one?
We have.
To everyone.
Every bloody influencer, every media person has had one of these things with chocolate and chips. Did I see it?
I got one.
You got one?
Yeah, you might have seen it on my Instagram.
I think I might have started this whole drama
because I put it on my Instagram.
And I was like, where is mine?
This is my literal employer.
Employer.
Yeah, Matty has been very hot under the collar
about not receiving a gift pack from TVNZ.
Well, we have approached TVNZ
and we have your TVNZ gift pack.
Brilliant.
That you've been throwing your big tanty over.
Thank you so much.
That's the surprise.
That's over.
But you don't just get to have it.
You have to win it.
Oh, no!
No!
So someone is getting Maddie's special VIP TVNZ gift pack,
which contains chippies and a drink bottle and all these other goodies,
like stuff that you can watch on TVNZ On Demand.
There's like a food delivery voucher.
Oh, my God.
There's so much good stuff inside there.
There's a Chromecast inside there so you can stream TVNZ On Demand.
Someone's getting it.
This is mine.
This is mine. This is mine.
Well, it will be yours if you win it.
Okay?
We have a special TV quiz, and it'll be you versus Matty.
If you would like to steal Matty's package.
This is more impressive, this one.
If you want to get your hands on Matty's big package,
call us now on 0800-DIALS-AT-M.
And courtesy of the good people at TVNZ,
you could be living life like a TV VIP.
Like me, don't you dare.
And what Maddie wants.
Bree and Clint.
Maddie McLean in the studio at the moment.
Opposite one very deluxe-looking TVNZ home ISO care kit. See, to me, to me, this is theft.
Because this was technically sent to me
and you guys have hijacked my gift box.
That's where you're wrong.
Because it wasn't sent to you.
That's why you're so upset.
Everybody got sent one except you.
I got sent one of these.
I've been on TVNZ for two weeks.
I've worked there for 15 bloody years.
Yeah, and that's why you're upset.
You didn't get one.
We went and made sure there was one for you.
But to get this, you've got to work for it, man.
This is not, you're not in the bougie TV world now.
Things don't just get handed to you.
In radio, you've got to work for it, okay?
You've got to work.
You've got to get up your ass and work.
Yeah, it seems like nobody wants to work these days, okay?
So here to steal your package is Sam.
Hi, Sam.
Hey, how's it going?
You'd like nothing better than to get your hands on Maddy's big package,
wouldn't you?
Yeah, I really want this big package, aye.
Sam, don't you dare.
No, Sam, dare.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm in it to win it.
Here we go, everybody.
It is time to play for Maddy's package.
Producer Anastasia, can you please tell me
where I can find the questions for this game?
They're on our Thursday sheet.
On our Thursday sheet.
Yes, I told you the wrong place.
Okay.
Here we go, everybody.
These are all questions about TV
and you buzz in with your name if you know the answer.
First to get three of these correct is going to win Maddie's big package.
First question.
I'm ready to win.
What month was TVNZ matriarch Hilary Barry born?
December.
Oh, Maddie, December.
Whoa!
How did you know that?
Because I know her birthday is December 4th. I'm a very good? Because I know her birthday. It's December 4th.
I'm a very good friend.
Wow, well done.
It is December 4th.
I'll give you a bonus point if you can say the year.
She turned 15.
Oh, careful.
Don't reveal her age.
I reckon it was 2020.
You reckon she was born in 2020?
No, sorry.
Hilary Barry was born in 2020. No, sorry. Hilary Barry was born in 1969.
Nice.
Right.
Okay, one point to Matty.
You're still in this, Sam, okay?
Yep, yep.
I'm still in it.
Question number two in our big TVNZ quiz.
When was TVNZ started?
What?
Wait, what?
When was...
Skip that question.
How many employees work at TVNZ?
Is it 570, 670, or 770?
Matty.
Sam.
Matty.
670.
God, what do you work in HR?
How do you know all of us?
That was a total guess.
Okay, two points to Matty. I really want
this package.
Question number three. I need you to get in here, Sam,
okay? Yeah, yeah. We've hyped this up
too much. I love Matty.
He's one of my best friends, but he has to lose.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Question number three.
How old is
Simon Dello?
Sam. Sam.
Sam.
55.
Oh, he's so close.
Matty, I'm going to go 57.
Far out.
Well, there you go.
You've taken a 3-0 lead in this competition,
which is unassailable, so congratulations. Oh!
You won your own package
you feel good about yourself?
I feel so good about myself
you happy?
I'm so happy
you get all the trappings
of television life
bloody Sam
just wanted a taste
of the good times
and you wouldn't even
let him touch
get his hands on your
hey Sam
you don't go away
empty handed
we've got a
50 KFC chicken dollar voucher for you
Oh God
We took it out of Maddy's ISO care package
Put it back in
Put it back in
Thank you
Bree and Clint
Jacinda Ardern, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern
Prime Minister
Excuse me
To you, yes
Did one of her trademark Facebook lives yesterday
To explain where the bloody hell Clark Gatlin has been.
I can't believe we still haven't found him. We put the call out
weeks ago. We haven't found him.
We haven't found him. The listeners have certainly
not found him. I think that's what the Facebook
Live was for. I didn't actually watch it. It might have
been for the changes in the traffic light system.
She might have answered a couple of questions on that.
You know how she does this though?
I think it's very good. It's a very modern
way of governing.
But it's also a bloody minefield.
You open yourself up to all kinds of stuff
when you just have the comments turned on.
Yeah.
Because what she does, she goes on Facebook Live,
she explains, she goes, this is what we've done,
this is what it means, this is what's going to happen.
I'll take questions now.
And Tova O'Brien's not there, so she can't ask any questions.
And you, Davey McHugh, or whoever you are, can ask whatever you want.
Exactly.
So it's not Tova, then Jessica.
It's Davey, then Lisa.
Then Lisa, absolutely.
She faced an interesting question yesterday on her Facebook Live.
I'm just going to play it for you.
It was this.
Someone has asked me to twerk.
Excuse me?
Sorry, what?
Can we just hear that again?
One more time.
Someone has asked me to twerk.
Okay.
Now, this is the Prime Minister of New Zealand.
Yeah.
So this is going on the record.
Just one more time.
Someone has asked me to twerk.
I mean, she's young.
She's hip.
If any Prime Minister in the world was going to twerk
Surely it would be us
Do you think she's the most likely?
Imagine that she gets up from the live stream
And just does a little twerk on camera
Who's the Canadian guy?
Justin Trudeau
He'd be a good twerker as well
Angela Merkel
Angela Merkel could get up there and drop a drop at low
I wanted to ask
And you're in the news and current affairs business,
is that a reasonable request of a head of state?
She does work for us, but is that a reasonable request to make of the head of state?
Very.
It is.
Absolutely.
Right.
Look, she's elected by us, the people.
Yeah.
So therefore, it's only fair and reasonable that she answers the questions that we have for her.
Right.
So you're saying she doesn't necessarily have to twerk.
She has to answer whether she will or won't twerk.
Is that what you're saying?
Yeah.
I guess so.
But I would expect that as someone who's desperate, you know, there's an election next year.
So if someone wants her to twerk, that's a vote.
Right.
Winston Peters would twerk.
He absolutely would.
David Seymour would dare. We've seen David Seymour twerk. Judith Collins would have twerked That's a vote. Right. Winston Peters would twerk. He absolutely would. David Seymour would dare.
We've seen David Seymour twerk.
Judith Collins would have twerked towards the end there.
Totally.
She was desperate to hang on.
Well, here was the Prime Minister's response.
That's a hard no.
Unfortunate.
But I thought we could go back through past Prime Ministers
and decide who would be most likely to twerk on a live stream.
So first one, Helen Clark.
I'm going to say no.
No, she's old school.
Yeah, no.
John Key, a.k.a. Don Key, a.k.a. Da Ass.
John Da Ass Key.
I reckon he would.
Remember that catwalk he did at the Rugby World Cup?
He minced down that catwalk.
He would definitely drop it low.
He's a twerker.
What is it?
What's that song?
Booted like a pillow.
Big soul bag, you can use it as a pillow.
What about Jim Bolge?
Easy on Stallion.
Jim Bolge.
I'm going to say yes.
Yeah, he'd twerk.
He'd twerk.
What about Bill Ingl...
Sorry, I'll stop the feature there, that's plenty
What we have found is it's only national MPs willing to twerk
So a lot of pressure on Chris Luxon coming up
A man in the know in Los Angeles is Dean McCarthy.
And Dean, this is not a good story.
Miley Cyrus has been involved in a serious plane incident.
Yeah, very serious actually.
Her private jet, as they were flying over Paraguay,
I think you'd call it, was struck by lightning.
Oh, wow.
It was struck by lightning.
Now, there's a video on her Instagram
when the actual strike happens and she's a video on her Instagram when the actual
strike happens and she's kind of like filming
outside because the pilot would have said, we're going
through some really, really bad weather.
And then, bang, you see the lighting strike.
They have to make an emergency landing.
The seat, she has
what's called a G450. So we talked about
Kim Kardashian's new plane. It's a G650.
This is a 450, a bit smaller than Kim's.
So there's about 14 people in the back.
But when you're on a really small plane like that,
you feel everything.
It's kind of like being in a tiny boat out in the ocean.
That's how you would describe when you're in a small plane like that.
They would have absolutely checked their pants.
That would have been the most terrifying experience.
They had to make an emergency landing 200 miles from where she was due to perform.
And she's going to be really shaken by that.
Really, really shaken by that.
So sending her some good vibes.
They're fine.
Everyone's fine.
A lot of planes actually get struck by lightning quite often.
Usually the big commercial ones, you know, doesn't really, you know, barely touch the side.
But when a small plane like that gets struck, it really is terrifying, I can imagine.
Dean knows a lot about private planes.
I was going to say. He's been on a lot of them.
The grinder swindler has
grinded his way onto so
many private jets. Just look at his Instagram story.
He's on a couple a week. You drop that so
casually, Dean.
We'll take a discerning listener to
realise what you were saying.
But you're basically saying I take them all the time.
Well, one of my
best friends has a couple of them.
Okay, okay.
Wrap them up.
Nice to talk to you.
Thank you so much.
That is the latest live out of Los Angeles.
Or is he calling from the sky on the G650?
We don't know.
It's Dean McCarthy.
Free in Clint.
If you think your car has done a lot of Ks,
you have not heard what I'm about to tell you.
Nailed it.
You nailed it.
It's 15 years of broadcasting right there.
Graham Hebley has a 1993 Toyota Corolla.
Wow, so that's definitely done some years.
Yeah, 1993.
It's a station wagon model Corolla,
and it's just surpassed a very significant milestone.
He lives in the Upper Hutt,
and his Corolla has just gone past 2 million kilometres.
2 million kilometres.
Come on.
To give you some context on what 2 million kilometres is
That's the equivalent of Graham driving his Corolla to the moon
And back
Twice
And then driving to the moon again
Wow
2 million kilometres
That is insane
Where's he been driving?
So let me give you some goss on this.
Graham got his Corolla in the year 2000,
so it was already seven years old,
and at that stage it had only done 80,000 k's.
Wow.
And in Corolla terms, that's like a brand new car.
Totally.
You know?
So how did he get to two million?
That's a feat.
He drives from Wellington to New Plymouth
and back six days a week for his job. He commutes six days a week all the way to New Plymouth and back six days a week for his job.
He commutes six days a week all the way to New Plymouth.
So he racks up 5,000 kilometres a week.
What?
Crazy, eh?
What?
That's a big drive.
It's a huge drive.
It's so much time to spend in the car.
Like, I hope he's got A band expander in there
So he gets to listen
To some radio or something
While he's driving
Why don't you just live
In New Plymouth
Save yourself some caves
I thought the same thing
Maybe he just loves
The feeling of the wind
In his Corolla
I don't know
So how do you keep a car
Even if it is a Toyota Corolla
And the joke is that
These cars are bulletproof
Yeah
They'll never die
They'll never die
Well this one hasn't But how do you keep it going For two million caves Yeah Like that's insane Yeah Even if it is a Toyota Corolla, and the joke is that these cars are bulletproof. Yeah, they'll never die. They'll never die.
Well, this one hasn't.
But how do you keep it going for 2 million Ks?
Yeah.
Like, that's insane.
Cars' usable lifespan, realistically, is like 200,000 Ks.
He's got 2 million.
Well, you're meant to service your car every 10,000 Ks. No matter what your car is,
it's meant to get a service every 10,000 Ks.
He does 5,000 Ks a week,
so he gets his car serviced every two weeks.
No!
Yeah.
Crazy, eh?
Wow!
He puts it in for a full service every two weeks.
And so they do the whole shebang.
Change the oil.
Yeah.
Check all the bits.
Make sure everything's going.
Because if you're doing that much time on the road,
you want to make sure your car's safe too, right?
Totally.
You want to make sure it's under control.
He has had the cam belt replaced
20 times. Oh my
God. He's had the wheel bearings changed.
But apart from that, his
Toyota Corolla, his 1993 Toyota
Corolla is basically
original. Fine. The rest of the parts
are as they came from the factory. There's nothing
wrong with it. 30 years
and 2 million kilometres
ago. Look at him. what a bloody kiwi legend hey
he's everyone's granddad as well i've got a there's a photo of him up here imagine what
your granddad would wear we're talking like a flannel shirt tucked into some shorts with long
socks pulled up to his ankles yeah almost to his knees and a silver watch yeah he yeah he like on
one hand I go,
man, he saved so much money by keeping that car going.
And on the other hand, I'm like,
he's spent so much money driving to New Plymouth
and back every day for the last 15, 20 years.
God, you'd want a good playlist.
You'd want a comfy seat.
I hope he's got a little cushion to sit on.
Look, I love hearing about these unkillable cars
and people whose cars have done a stupid amount of Ks.
I've never heard of a story like that.
But do you have a car that you think has done a lot of Ks on it?
I don't know that we'll ever get someone who's done 2 million.
I don't think there is someone in the world other than Graham
who's done 2 million Ks.
So that's okay.
That's not what we're looking for.
If you can beat 2 million, absolutely call us.
We'll give you a prize.
No, we won't because then you'll just lie. Just call us what we're looking for. If you can beat 2 million, absolutely call us. We'll give you a prize. No, we won't, because then you'll just lie.
Just call us, because we'd like to talk to you.
But have you done heaps?
Have you done like 400,000, 500,000, 600,000 Ks in your car?
And what is it?
And what's the secret to keeping it going?
And maybe you're in the car right now.
Give us a call.
0800 dial ZM, or you can text us on 9696.
If your car has done heaps of Ks.
We just shared the story of Graham from Upper Hutt,
whose 1993 Toyota Corolla station wagon has just done 2 million kilometres.
Crazy.
It's got to be some kind of record.
I reckon.
I just can't imagine anyone else doing those kinds of Ks.
He drives from the hut to New Plymouth and back six times a week,
5,000 Ks a week.
You said he gets his car serviced every two weeks.
Every two weeks at the exact same mechanic for the last 22 years.
Far out.
He's a VIP client.
I hope he's got like a concession card
where every tenth service is free or something like that.
Yeah, at'd at least
give him a coffee when he walks in the door. We want to talk
about unkillable cars though. And are
they all Toyotas? Because it's a Toyota Corolla.
Not all. Really? Someone's
messaged in, I used to drive a VW Golf when I
nannied in France. It was a bloody tank.
It had done 200km and then
when I visited 10 years later they told me
they'd given it to the gardener and it was now up to
400km. On a European car?
The only issue is it costs four grand to service twice a year.
And when you need to replace an indicator bulb,
you have to remortgage your house.
Yeah, but if you're someone that lives in France with a nanny and a gardener,
you're okay.
Why aren't you getting a new Golf if that's your situation?
Let's talk to some people with unkillable cars.
We'll go first to Shah.
Kia ora, Shah.
Hi.
What is the car?
What sort of car have you got?
I've got a 1999 Toyota Altezza.
Oh.
Those are the boy racer ones.
They do skids.
Yeah.
Good skids do.
Yeah.
Tracking control as well.
Yeah, yeah.
I know the one.
You can get the ass sideways in an Altezza, can't you?
Yeah, push the little button and she's sweet.
Okay, so how many kilometres worth of skids have you done in your 99 Toyota Altezza?
So far it's done 339,212km.
Wow.
Do you know that number because you're sitting in it right now?
Yeah, that's correct.
And it goes fine?
Oh, perfect. Like a breeze. And how are the skids, Char? Oh, that's correct. And it goes fine? Oh, perfect.
And how the skids, Char?
Oh, they're really good.
Can you give us a little
two to the horn?
Go on.
The horn doesn't go.
I used to be the horn.
I thought you told us
the car was sweet as, Char.
Oh, apart from the horn.
Apart from the horn. And the window wipers. She's a teaser. And I car was sweet as Char. Oh, apart from the horn. Apart from the horn.
And you know the window wipers.
She's a teaser.
And I hear your voice, Char.
You don't need a horn.
No.
Char's never needed a horn in her life.
Okay, thank you.
Very good.
Let's go to Stella.
Kia ora, Stella.
Kia ora.
How are you?
Good.
You're in your car now as well, right?
I am, yes.
What is it?
It's a 2003 Toyota Corolla.
Of course it is.
Okay, Toyota Corolla.
How many Ks you got on that bad boy?
Just over 400,000.
Whoa.
How long have you had it?
It's 2003.
How long have you owned it?
I've owned it just over five years.
Oh, yeah.
And what do you got to do to keep a 400,000 K car going?
Do you service it twice a week like Graham does?
Yeah, you have a partner that's really into cars.
Oh, I see.
Okay, so he looks after it for you.
You've got a car nurse living in your house.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, Shah couldn't.
Can you give us a toot on the horn?
Yep.
Yes.
There she is.
Perfect.
Thanks, Stella.
Good work.
400 Ks.
That's our record so far.
Jack's here.
G'day, Jack.
Hey, Jan. Good. How are you?. Jack's here. G'day, Jack. How you going?
Good.
How are you?
Yeah, pretty good.
Where are you, Jack?
I'm driving a tractor at the moment.
Oh, right.
Do tractors have horns?
This one doesn't work, but normally they do.
Are you calling about the Ks on the tractor or the Ks on your car?
The Ks on my ute and one of my mate's ute.
Okay. So it's all been Toyotas so far.
Are you calling about a Toyota?
Yes, they're both Toyota Hiluxes.
Okay, and how many Ks are we talking?
Mine's got 500,000 and my mate's has just over a million.
Whoa.
A million Ks.
A million.
Yeah.
Does it go all right?
Have you driven it? Does it still go okay? Yeah, it goes real good. It's 2. Does it go all right? Have you driven it?
Does it still go okay?
Yeah, it goes real good.
It's 2.8, and it just keeps going.
You're not tempted to go and trade it in on a Ford Ranger or something like that?
Oh, no, I don't think it would be.
Nah, very Toyota fan.
You don't want to get a nice Suzu D-Max?
Nah, nah, definitely not one of those. You don't want to get one of those D-Max? Nah, nah, definitely not one of those.
You don't want to get one of those great wall utes?
No, no.
You don't want to get a Kabuto or something?
You're going to upgrade to an EV soon, aren't you?
Oh, nah.
Are you looking to get the government's clean car rebate, Jack?
Nah, I'm going to try to keep the luxury as long as possible.
Yeah, right.
Okay, well, good on you.
Half a million.
We'll take that one.
One final one. Roy's here. G'day, Roy. G. Half a million. We'll take that one. One final one.
Roy's here.
G'day, Roy.
G'day, guys.
How are you?
Good.
What are you driving?
It's a 1992 Toyota Land Cruiser.
And how many Ks you got on that?
$749,000.
Whoa!
Three quarters of a million.
Every single car we've been dealing with this afternoon has been a Toyota.
Yeah, it has.
Which is insane, isn't it?
They're bloody awesome.
I don't understand
how they sell any new cars.
Because all the old ones,
all the ones they sold
are still out there on the road,
still going round and around
and around.
Far out.
Alright, Toyota till you die, Roy?
Absolutely.
Who's going to die first,
you or the car?
I was going to say,
the Toyota's going to outlive you.
I'd say so.
It's only three years older than me at the moment.
There you go.
Kia ora.
I'm Simon Found, and I host Business is Boring,
a podcast that reckons it's anything but.
Join me each week as I chat with some of the most interesting
and inspirational players in the Aotearoa business scene
and learn what it takes to make it happen
from accidental entrepreneurs
to the brains behind some of the country's biggest brands. If you're into business or want to be,
then make sure you follow Business is Boring wherever you get your podcasts.
Brought to you by the Spinoff Podcast Network in partnership with Sparklab.
Kia ora, I'm Jane Yee. I'm Alex Casey.
And I'm Duncan Grave. We're the hosts of The Real
Pod and Confession Cam Time.
We bloody love reality telly.
If we sound like your type on paper, join us
each week for your fix of reality TV
news, recaps and gossip.
On The Real Pod, it's perfectly fine to
like reality TV. It's a safe
space, so let down your walls,
wear your heart on your sleeve,
and remember,
it is what it is.
And what it is,
is the real pod.
Brought to you by the Spinoff Podcast Network
and available wherever you get your pods.
Bree and Clint.
I don't know if you're watching Married at First Sight
at the moment.
If you are,
you'll be aware of
what the hell is going on on that show at the moment.
If you're not,
I can sum it up very easily for you.
Please.
Okay, so some really crazy people decided to go on a TV show and marry a stranger.
And the people who make the TV show intentionally paired them with someone that they'll hate.
And it's not going well.
What?
What?
That's the basics.
You mean the producers were doing things for drama, not for love?
Believe it or not, that's exactly what it was.
Wow.
Who would have thought that?
Who would have thought?
And who would have thought that'd be a successful format?
What's really making headlines across in Australia
and here in New Zealand at the moment
is what has gone down on TV here last night.
It happened in Australia last week, here last night.
One of the contestants, Olivia, has shared a nude picture
of one of the other contestants, Dominica,
who unbeknownst to the group actually has an OnlyFans account.
Right.
So she does OnlyFans and Olivia decided
that that was everybody else's business
and Googled her, screenshotted her nudes
and showed it to the whole group.
Wow.
It has made for the most dramatic,
over-the-top, surreal television you've ever seen.
Have a listen to this trailer.
Does Jack know that you had an OnlyFans account?
Oh my God.
Everyone has seen a photo of you naked.
I'm sorry, but you put it out there.
People are going to talk about it.
So everyone here has seen the photo.
You have never seen it.
Olivia says it wasn't delicious.
I'm short for it.
A scandal.
I will literally get naked so you cannot film me.
Like this.
Mm-hmm.
I think the kitchen's too hot for Dom.
It's mental.
I will say this.
Australian TV knew how to do A bloody good trailer
Oh my god
Don't they what
And they know how to
Do good reality TV
Yeah that too
But they can't do
A New Zealand maths
After this
Because it just
It just doesn't stack up
It would pale in comparison
The themes that it's
Bringing up are really serious
They're talking about
Revenge porn
They're talking about
Like exposing somebody
Totally
And just deciding
That because It's slut shaming It's all of that stuff It's pretty serious Yeah they're talking about like exposing somebody totally and just deciding that because
it's slut shaming
it's all of that stuff
it's pretty serious
yeah
so what's been
the reaction
from the cast members
that has been
really interesting
yeah
because obviously
she's got a
she's got a husband
she's married someone
she's married at first sight
and he has stood up
for her the whole time
wow
he has said
because they showed
everybody under the guise
of going
well you need to know who you're married
to. And he goes, well actually I did already know
that and I don't care.
We dealt with it in the first week of our relationship.
And then they've all
looked at the picture. It's gossip, right?
If someone brings a picture like that in, it's gossip.
It's gossip, but there's gossip
about it and saying
Olivia has an only
or Dominica has an onlyFans account, there's another
thing entirely to say it and
then show the photos of her. Totally.
And no one came to her and said
hey, there's a picture of you going around there or just
talked about it. It's
honestly, the bit that I
can't believe whenever these shows
come out is
why would you do that on
TV? Totally. Like why would you do that on TV? Totally.
Unless this is just truly who
you are, like Olivia is not coming off
well. No! And she's training to be
a school teacher. Yeah, this is not good.
She looks like
a bad person.
Abbey Chatfield is quite big
in Australian media. She
has a podcast and a radio show. She was
a contestant on the Australian Bachelor.
Yes.
And she's spoken really strongly about it.
She said, there's nothing wrong with taking nudes for free.
There's nothing wrong with being sexual
in any way you want to be sexual,
whether it's as an occupation
or whether it is just to send a nude around
like I do all the time.
So she said, I do it.
Other people do it.
We send nudes to our partners or our lovers
or whoever we're having a hookup with.
It's totally fine.
We're allowed to do that.
So there's nothing wrong with Dominica doing this whatsoever.
And just because you get your hands on someone else's nude
doesn't mean that it's your property to share.
Totally.
That's what's really weird about it.
And not enough people have stood up for her on this show. It's been really quite awful to share. Totally. That's what's really weird about it. And not enough people have stood up for her on this show. Right. It's been really
quite awful to watch. So the other
cast members are kind of on Olivia's
side. Well they're covering their own ass
because they're going, we're not bad people because we looked
at it. She's going, no but can you just
acknowledge the fact that this makes me
really uncomfortable and that that's my body and
that you've taken it out of my hands. Totally.
And they just go, well you put it on OnlyFans so you
deserve this. Yeah but there's one thing to stumble upon it out of my hands. Totally. And they just go, well, you put it on OnlyFans, so you deserve this. Yeah, but there's one thing
to stumble upon it and look at it.
It's another thing to share it around a group
and gossip about it.
Yeah.
To someone that they're hanging out with
and they're friends with.
You're meant to be supporting each other on the show.
And the thing that annoys me the most
is that this bloody show has got me again.
And someone said,
I'm currently watching,
I'm up to date with Australia.
All I can say is, just wait. Oh, there's more to date with Australia. All I can say is just wait.
Oh, there's more to come?
There's more to come.
God damn it.
It's time for another round of The Dilf Factor.
Our game where you and Maddie quest to identify whether hot male celebrities are dilfs or not.
Sorry, you just very haphazardly threw your laptop on my ISO kit.
Oh, is this yours?
That's my box.
Oh, well, it's on my desk, so this is my area, so I think it's mine now.
Whoa, shots fired.
Matty's very protective of his TVNZ ISO kit.
My package
Hey look, we've got to play this game
Paula's here
Paula, welcome to the Dilf Factor
Hi
Hi guys
Hi Paula
Hi
You and Maddie will now work together
to guess whether the famous men
Anastasia is about to list
have kids or not
aka
are they Dilfs
or are they just regular
whole men
Ilfs.
Yeah.
Okay. You know your dilfs, Paula?
Yes. Great. Let's work
together on this because I want you to win, alright?
You need three to win yourself some
KFC chicken dollars this afternoon. Good luck.
Alright, guys, so this is the dilf factor.
You guys know how the rules work.
We just need you to get three points to win,
and I'm just going to list off some male celebrities
who I deem to be hot.
Sometimes you guys do a noise.
Yeah, objective.
You put Ricky Gervais in last week.
Yeah, he's hot.
He's my doppelganger.
Anyway, anyway, anyway, let's go.
All right, celebrity number one is One Direction member Liam Payne.
Ooh.
I think I know this, Paula.
What do you reckon, Maddie?
I'm pretty sure he has a kid.
I think he has a kid with Cheryl Cole.
Would you like to agree with Maddie there, Paula?
Yep, okay.
You trust me, Paula?
Yes.
Yeah, let's lock it in, Anastasia.
I was hoping you'd be tripped up.
That's correct. Yes, he does. They're no longer together, but I was hoping you'd be tripped up. That's correct.
Yes, he does.
They're no longer together, but yes, they're still co-parenting.
Good one, Matty.
Thank you, Paula.
Well done.
Awesome.
All right, that's a point.
Male celebrity or DILF or not DILF, number two, is Pete Davidson.
Do you know Pete Davidson, Paula?
I don't know him.
No.
He's a comedian and he's currently dating Kim Kardashian.
He's got some stepkids.
Yes, we don't take stepkids.
We only take actual kids.
Biological children.
Biological children, yeah.
Right.
I don't know, Paula.
What's your gut telling you?
Oh, stepkids, not taking.
Yeah, I don't think he's got his own.
Okay, would you like to lock that in? Yeah, let's lock it in,
Paula, eh? Okay, yeah.
That's correct. Awesome.
Well done. Two from two.
Yahoo! We've got this, Paula.
Paula gets some KFC. Come on, Paula.
Your third male celebrity is
Dr. Phil.
Oh, he's a
stealth.
It's the mustache, isn't it, Paula?
Paula, you are very confident with that.
It's the moustache.
Matty, would you like to lock in Paula's answer?
I'm going with Paula.
Got to, right?
You got to.
Paula, congratulations.
You've won yourself some chicken dollars.
That's great.
All righty.
Oh, Matty, awesome.
Dr. Phil, more like Dilph Phil.
Hey, well done, Paula.
We'll get that out to you soon.
Hey, well done, Paula.
I'm proud of you.
Thank you.
Summer is officially over.
Boo.
Hate winter.
Yeah, I don't love it either.
Cold temperatures.
Yeah.
Dark early. Shorter nights. Some people like it. Cold temperatures. Yeah. Darker.
Shorter nights.
Some people like it.
People who go snowboarding like it.
I'm not one of those people.
Yeah.
I'm summer.
But I've got a season that will bring a lot of joy to a lot of people.
Okay.
A woman, a London-based writer by the name of Laura Pitcher,
has heralded what she calls the official arrival
of Short King Spring.
Short King Spring?
Well, obviously she lives in the Northern Hemisphere,
so they're about to go into spring.
Yeah.
And she says it's time for the Short Kings to reign supreme.
As in short men.
Short men. The vertically challenged males in short men. Short men.
The vertically challenged males among us.
Short Kings spring.
Gone are the days where people are proud of writing 6'3 on their Tinder bios.
Yeah.
Now it's all about 5'9 and under.
Is it?
Yeah.
Is it?
Absolutely.
Oh, I'm screwed.
Lucky I've already got a partner. This has been highlighted especially because of Zendaya and Tom Holland.
Of course.
It always takes a celebrity example for it to break through to the mainstream.
Zendaya is 179 centimetres.
Yeah.
And our short king, Tom Holland, is six centimetres shorter than her.
Six centimetres. Six. Might not sound like a Holland, is six centimetres shorter than her. Six centimetres.
Might not sound like a lot, but six centimetres.
And a lot of men out there right now will be so pleased to hear this.
Totally.
Because it's their time to shine.
They'll be jumping up to try and turn the radio up at the moment.
Going, I need to hear this.
This is Cross Live to producer Anastasia,
who has just completed a Hot Girl Summer.
Did you have a Hot Girl Summer?
Yeah, it was pretty hot.
And what are your thoughts on going from Hot Girl Summer
into Short King...
What did you call it?
Short King Spring.
But it's Short King Season for us.
Short King Season.
Yeah, Short King Spring in the Northern Hemisphere.
Yeah.
Short King Fall here in New Zealand.
Short King Autumn.
No, I'd recommend... Or Short King Autumn. No, I'd recommend
Short King Winter. Oh, you'd recommend,
would you? Nah, yeah, nah.
Have you ever dated a shorter man?
Only this summer.
Wow. You had
a Short King Summer. That was normally a
non-negotiable. Yeah, and what changed
your mind? Zendaya and Tom Holland.
Really?
Maybe this lady is right.
Maybe it's breaking through.
Because we talked yesterday about societal norms, right?
With the age gap.
The height gap is a whole societal thing that exists as well.
Did you bend down and give him a little kiss on the forehead?
Matty!
Matty, that is heightightest What you just said
Nah
He's only like a foot
Like what
A foot
Wait no
A foot shorter than you
No wait wait wait
A foot shorter than you
A foot
One point
A centimetre
I'm 5'10
I think he was 5'9
An inch
An inch
An inch was a word
I don't know these words
They're all American
You know
A foot?
Hey, no judgment.
You've been doing a long one.
No judgment.
Hey, look, let's get on board.
Let's celebrate Short King Spring, Short King Season,
by breaking those societal norms again.
We did it yesterday with the age gap.
Let's do it with the height gap.
So are you a woman
who's dating a man
that's shorter than you
or are you a man
dating a woman taller than you?
Yeah.
Is there a big height difference
in your relationship?
Yeah.
What is the gap?
Who's taller?
And
how does it go?
Yeah.
Do you have a special
stool system in your house
or something like that? Just kidding. Yeah. Break those for us. Call us. Do you have a special stool system in your house or something like that?
Just kidding.
Yeah, break those for us.
Call us now if you have a height difference that goes that way around.
You're taller than him, right?
That's what we're looking for?
Yes.
0800 dials at M, Texas to 9696.
We're talking short kings this afternoon.
Tis the season, apparently.
Tis the season, yeah.
Gone are the days where you need a guy to be over six foot.
That's so old school.
Totally.
Someone in the Northern Hemisphere has been calling it Short King Spring.
This is brilliant.
Someone's texted and said, surely in New Zealand we call it short-em.
Oh my God, short-em.
How did that...
It's our job to come up with puns like that.
How did we not...
That passed us by.
Short-em.
So we want to know,
for too long,
this has been hiding in the shadow society.
It said, mm-mm-mm, your boyfriend must be taller than you.
Totally.
You've said, nah, I love a shorter man.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, and Zendaya and Tom Holland have made it popular.
Yeah, so are you doing it too?
Is it something that everybody should be doing?
Totally.
Is it a secret you want to share with the world?
Brooke's here to talk about it.
Hi, Brooke.
Hi, Brooke.
Hi. Is it short-em for you? Is it short secret you want to share with the world? Brooke's here to talk about it. Hi, Brooke. Hi, Brooke. Hi.
Is it short him for you?
Is it short king season?
I'd say short king.
Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why not?
To his face?
Would you say short king to his face?
Well, yeah, he calls me his tall queen.
Yeah, okay.
Okay.
Run us through the height difference.
What height are you?
So I don't have, like, exact.
Like, I think ages ago, the last time I measured myself,
I was sitting at around, like, 180-ish centimetres.
Okay, okay.
What's that, like, 5'9", 5'10-ish?
Yeah, perfect.
And what about him?
But my boyfriend, he's, like, a half head shorter than me,
so around the nose area,
although he has a man bun that sits high.
It adds
a little bit. Is that why
he has the man
bun? I mean, he rocks
it out long too, so he's
not really fast. He's got the confidence
for it, I think is what makes it. Has he got
those big, thick RM Williams boot with
the heel on them as well?
Nah, he's got a pair of these Adidas shoes
that were kind of, like, a bit thicker on the bottom.
But, like, yeah, just statement piece rocks it.
So you're, like, you're not short for a girl.
No, no, no, I was, like, tallest in my class.
Yeah.
You know, like, intermediate and everything.
Like, I'm classed as pretty tall.
Everyone would always talk to me about basketball and all that yeah i bet and how's the weather out
there kind of thing but did you have you always been attracted to short guys or has this just is
this a one-off no no not like i mean i i had that thing you know growing up everyone said you know
like the tall dark handsome and all that but like i fussed. Like, I wasn't ruling out just for height.
Like, that's kind of trash.
You're like, no, man, give me a high pony any day.
Hey, thanks, Brooke.
That's very good.
Pete's here.
G'day, Pete.
Hey, there, guys.
It's Shortum.
Are you a short king?
Are you calling up to tell us that you're a short king?
I think I only just about qualify.
I'm 5'10".
Oh, no, you're...
I'm just in the short line.
I reckon you're average height, aren't you? You're average. That's probably about qualify. I'm 5'10". Oh, no, you're... I'm just in the short line. I reckon you're average height, aren't you?
You're average.
That's probably about average.
Yeah.
But I make up for it that my wife,
I'm just glad that I'm finally in fashion.
But, yeah, my wife's 6'2",
so she's four inches above me.
Wow.
I think it's similar to that whole, yeah,
I kind of look her chin level.
Yeah.
So Maddy joked before, but she could stand and give you a little peck on the forehead.
Is that right?
Oh, yes.
God, if you ever start balding Pete on the top, she's going to know about it straight away.
She's got a bird's eye view.
She'll spot it before you do.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
She told me long before I realised.
Well, Shortum, you all about it?
Pete, is that the that's the way
it should be
yeah I think so
it's your time
to shine Pete
yeah
yeah
not just the bald patch
on top of your head
it's your whole body's
time to shine
enjoy it
finally Lee's here
Kia ora Lee
Kia ora
are you enjoying
Shortum
are you celebrating
no I'm a tallie
Are you a tallie?
Oh yeah, okay
But have you found yourself a short king?
Yes, I have
Okay, so what's the height difference?
Good, well he sits under my chin
I'm about 5'8 and he's sort of like 5'2
Whoa
He sits under your chin
Do you just tuck him under there when you have photos and stuff?
Yeah, yeah Just go for a cuddle and just sit him under your chin. Do you just tuck him under there when you have photos and stuff? Yeah, yeah.
Just go for a cuddle and just sit him under my chin.
Just rest your head on the top of his head.
5'2", he's a wee fella.
He is, yeah.
I'm going to list the obvious ones,
and I'm sure people who are 5'2 hate this.
Is he a jockey?
No.
Is he a...
Are there any other jobs?
I don't know. Specific for shorter...
I don't think so.
Am I in dangerous territory here?
Am I?
Yeah.
Stop.
Put down the spade.
Yeah, okay.
Is he an Uber driver with a booster seat?
No, I'm kidding.
Lee, what's the deal with dating a shorter person?
Is it weird?
It shouldn't be weird.
That's the thing that we're talking about.
We're trying to break this societal norm here. it's not really weird about it, is it?
Oh, no, it's not weird at all.
We were best friends for years and years,
and the hype means nothing to me.
Yeah, totally.
All right.
Well, happy Short King Spring, Lee.
Happy Shortum.
You too.
Enjoy it.
Tis the season, as they say.
To all the shorter men out there, it's go time, baby.
It's your time to shine.
Tom Holland has set the trend with Zendaya, and it is time to rock it.
Get the step letter out.
No, get rid of it.
All right.
Get rid of it.
Embrace it.
Do you, boo.
Bree and Clint.
It's my birthday.
It's my birthday.
Bree and Clint's birthday banger.
We find out the number one song on your 16th birthday,
we debate it, and then we play the best one.
The very best one.
Yeah, and sometimes the debates get heated.
Totally.
It should as well.
We should have rigorous debate to find the best one.
Shah's up first to play Birthday Banger.
Kia ora, Shah.
Hi.
How are you going?
How's your day going?
It's going good.
Is this the same Shah that called us from her Toyota Altiza about an hour ago?
Oh, yes, it is.
Are you still in the car, Shah?
Yeah, I'm still in the car.
No wonder your car's done 300 Ks.
You never get out of the bloody thing, Shah.
Are you still in laps?
I'm going to call my partner and go get him a puff.
Go get him a what?
A puff.
Oh, jeez.
And make it here.
Yeah, I got you, Sha.
All right, all right, all right.
Jeez, you really fit the Toyota Altiza stereotype, don't you?
Oh, yeah.
Hey, let's do your birthday banger.
What's your birthday?
22nd of May, 1983.
All right, Sha, while you're doing laps in the car,
your birthday, you were 16 on the 22nd of May, 1999,
and this was top of the chart. Tell me, you were 16 on the 22nd of May, 1999, and this was
top of the chart.
She likes it.
Do you love it,
Sha?
No!
Oh,
no!
I like five!
Oh,
you like five.
Oh,
that girl.
Yeah,
fair enough.
Sha wanted
Afro Man.
Yeah, he would have been better.
Yeah, right.
Okay, wait there, Char, you bloody firecracker.
Courtney's here.
Kia ora, Courtney.
Hello.
Hey, Courtney.
How's it going?
Yeah, not bad.
Where are you calling from?
The car.
The car as well.
Yeah, good stuff.
You're not off to do any illegal activity, are you?
No, not at all.
No.
Good.
When's your birthday, Court?
10th of May, 95.
All right.
You were 16 on the 10th of May, 2012,
and this is your birthday banger.
Check that.
Ella Met Bayo and Party Rock Anthem.
Do you like it, Courtney?
It's all right.
Not in the cold, mate.
We've all got a bit of PTSD post-LMFAO, don't we?
We really do.
But God, it was a time.
We've got Party Rock anxiety.
It was a time.
Oh, I cranked myself up there.
Wait there, Courtney.
We'll do one more for Zach.
Kia ora, Zach.
How's it going?
Good.
How are you?
Good, thanks.
All right, Zach, let's find out your birthday banger.
When's your birthday?
12th of January, 1993.
Okay, Zach, you were 16 on the 12th of Jan, 2009,
and this was the number one song.
I can't read my, I can't read my,
no, we can't read my poker face. Show me what you want, nobody. Gaga. I can't read my, I can't read my, no, we can't read my poker face.
Gaga.
Poker face.
The original Gaga.
The original Gaga.
Yeah, this was like the one, this was her first song.
Oh, I thought you meant she was the original Gaga.
I was like, who's the other Gaga?
No, like original Gaga.
Do you like a bit of Lady Gaga, Zach?
Yeah, I prefer the previous one, though.
You like party rock anthem?
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
There's a bit of birthday banger trading going on today.
But ultimately, the decision is ours.
Yeah.
So are we going to go Backstreet Boys, LMFAO, or Lady Gaga?
I'm going Backstreet Boys.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah.
I was wondering if you're going to be torn by that Gaga song.
I do love Gaga.
I would happily play it, but hearing that hook, it got me.
You just wanted to talk to Sha again, didn't you?
Hey, Sha, congratulations.
You just won birthday banger.
Woo-hoo, yeah!
I'll get you to give us a tune of the horn, but it doesn't work, does it?
I know!
Beat, beat!
Here you go!
Have a good night, Sha.
Cheers!
Stay safe out there.
Here goes your birthday banger from the Backstreet Boys on set M.
Dating is hard, right?
Totally. Especially these days. Totally. I look at it, and I don't mean to brag. My fucking Brian Clint Dating is hard right Right Totally
Especially these days
Totally
I look at it
And I don't mean to brag
I'm so glad I don't have to date
In 2022
Yeah
Because I'd suck at Tinder
I'd suck at first impressions
I'd suck at like
Small talk on dates
Yeah
But also the
Facts that you've got
Access to so many people
Means you often like
Change your mind Really quickly like the grass is
always greener right it's like going to denny's there's too much on the menu yes yeah and sometimes
it's really simple things that'll make you go not for me yeah totally um but a woman in australia
has cultivated a list of really specific things that single women say give them the ick.
Now, the ickers are such a strange phenomenon.
It's kind of new, right?
Yeah.
Well, they've finally got a word for it.
It's that feeling, and correct me if I'm wrong, it's that feeling you get where you just know
that you cannot be attracted to someone again.
Even if you were attracted to them, you can get the ick.
And often it is that.
Often it's, I was attracted to you,
and then I saw you do something,
or there was a behavior I witnessed,
and now I'm going, ugh.
Luckily, we have a single woman in our midst,
producer Anastasia.
Are you happy to be our ick-o-meter this afternoon?
Yep, I can do that.
Maddie will give you these.
You tell us if they give you the ick.
These have all been cultivated by someone called Winnie Blues on Instagram.
She asked her followers what the oddly specific ick was.
Winnie Blues.
A very legitimate sounding source there, Maddy.
I like that.
But they're good icks.
So I'm going to run them past you, all right?
Yeah.
Okay, the first one is,
I cannot look at a guy when he's showering.
He looks so pathetic.
Yep, 100% ick.
When the hair rolls over their eyes because it's so long when it's, you know?
When it's wet.
Yeah.
Ick.
Just a pathetic man showering.
Yeah.
Wow, okay, great.
I'll get that glass frosted at my house.
Good to know.
Okay, does this make you go, ick? When a guy runs towards a bird and it doesn't fly away?
Yes, ick.
Yep.
Very strong, ick.
I love the accuracy of these.
That's so specific.
Yeah, so specific.
A man using an umbrella.
Ooh.
Ooh.
I mean, we're coming into Okay to be honest
Something you don't see much
Aka ick
Wow
I love my blunt umbrella
That's weird
We don't stand a chance
Thank god we're taking
Because we don't stand a bloody chance
Exactly right okay
When I see a man running for a bus
Oh my god
Ick ick ick
Really?. Really?
Yeah.
Really?
Just be cool and order an Uber.
Makes me think of the opening credits of Saved by the Bell for some reason.
Yeah, right.
Exactly.
Okay.
The thought of a man being locked out of his house.
Or getting the alarm code wrong and the alarm going off.
Is that a nick?
That would definitely be a nick
Know your passcode
And I've got one more
Which is very specific to some of our listeners right now
Okay
Calling into the radio just to have a chat
No I respect that
Actually Anastasia for the future of this show
That's not a nick
My job is to pick up the phone, so I legally need to say this.
Keep calling us, guys.
Please.
Just don't call us from underneath an umbrella.
I found this question that's been posed online from someone who wants to visit New Zealand.
I was like, oh, good.
We want tourists here.
Totally.
We've got to do our patriotic duty to get people in and get the economy moving.
So was it something like, where should I go? Like, where's the best place to go or visit or something like that? No, not here. Totally. We've got to do our patriotic duty to get people in and get the economy moving. Yeah, right. So was it something like, where should I go?
Like, where's the best place to go or visit or something like that?
No, not quite.
Okay.
The question was posed on the Travel Australia thread on Reddit.
So great place to go for advice on New Zealand.
Yeah.
So they're asking in the Australia category, do they speak English in New Zealand?
Oh.
Okay.
I'll read you the question.
I'm from Massachusetts, and I was planning to visit
the beautiful state of New Zealand this fall.
State?
I've heard Australia is full of surprises,
so New Zealand is definitely one of the places I wish to visit.
So we're a state of Australia.
It appears to be the most popular Australian state.
Oh, come on. Well, I mean, if we are a state of Australia, we're definitely the best one. Yeah, we should be the best popular Australian state Oh come on
Well I mean if we are a state of Australia
We're definitely the best one
Yeah we should be the best
So we'll take that I guess
Anyway
Is English widely spoken in New Zealand?
Will I be able to understand them?
Or should I memorise a few phrases
In the local language to communicate better?
Please advise
Now first of all
Points to you for doing your research.
No one likes a tourist who shows up to France and hasn't learned how to say your basic bonjour.
Bonjour.
Oui.
Non.
Je m'appelle Matt.
Yeah, we're not in France.
We don't know.
So good on you for doing your work first.
Totally.
But also, come on.
Come on, man.
Just Google us.
Have you not seen Flood of the Concords?
You can't come here
If you don't even know
Where we are by the way
If you think we're
A state of Australia
Yeah
I mean it's very easy
To come here from Australia
But
Yeah that's going to be
A bad flight though
Yeah
Yeah
Especially on air
In New Zealand
They're like
Oh it's
I'll just fly to Sydney
And then I'll get
A domestic flight to
I'll get an Uber
To New Zealand
Yeah
I've prepared a response
For him
Okay Okay And you tell me
if you think this covers off all the bases.
So to the person who's asked, do they speak English
in New Zealand? My response would be
yeah bro, English is
sweet as, unless we're speaking Maori.
In which case, you're a bit
fucked. Katane
is a wonderful place to visit
at this time of year. Not too hot, not too cold.
So pack your
jandals, your chilli bun,
and a six pack of Cody's 8%
Chur Bowl Let's Go.
Perfect. Sound right?
I can't imagine someone not understanding
that. Yeah, we're clearly speaking
English in New Zealand. The Queen's English,
even. Yeah. Chur, cuzzy. You'll get along
fine here. Play ZM's Brand Clint.
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