ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 10th June 2022

Episode Date: June 9, 2022

Top 6: Space Signals  Yummy Yummy!  Silly Little Poll!  Will Anonymous get in touch?  Final Rankings: Jelly!Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe Graber Rich Smooth Barista Made Coffee. And Bourne, your last show on the podcast today from home. You'll be back in the office with us on Monday in the studio. Yes, yes. Unless there's a dramatic turn for the worse in this.

He laughs, but it could happen. I will be back in the studio Monday. I cannot think of a better reintroduction of you into society than tomorrow going to Armageddon, the Pop Culture Nerd Expo. Yes. I'm looking forward to it.

I got my little run sheet of where I have to be at what time. And you remember we ran the Vaughan IPs, where a team won the chance to go to Armageddon to partake in the eSports. Yeah. And there was a typo that said I will be captaining the team. And I was like, uh-oh, I'm in big trouble. I think they're playing Halo Infinite, and I haven't played Halo Infinite,

although if it's anything like Halo 3, I'll be an absolute bloody dab hand at it. Okay. But no, I'm not captaining the team. I'm their sort of moral support. Oh, good, like just holding snacks and drinks kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, giving them an orange at halftime, patting them on the back, giving them a rock up, that sort of thing. And if it goes well, apparently next week I'm the coach of the Warriors.

Fantastic. Who are just tearing through coaches, and apparently if you just want to have a go at coaching the New Zealand NRL team, you can just get in line and have a turn. What's your first play as Warriors coach? What do you think your first change will be? More cuteness. Okay.

We need to focus on more cuteness. Is that why they've been losing? Not enough cuteness in the Warriors league team? They've not decided whether they're fully committing to cuteness. Okay. We need to focus on more cuteness up front. Is that why they've been losing? Not enough cuteness in the Warriors league team? They've not decided whether or not they're fully committing to cuteness or they're going to go anti-cuteness, and I think that's where they've gone wrong. Right. You've really got to decide what camp you're going to be in.

Okay, right. When it comes to cuteness. Fully involve yourself or step away from cuteness. Yeah. So you're saying that more fans will come if all the players are cute? That's correct. Right. Okay, right. Good. And the fans will come if all the players are cute That's correct Right, okay, right, good And the opposition will be less likely to hit them hard

Because of course no one wants to ruin a cutie Well no, I don't think I could tackle a hot person Because you wouldn't want to hurt them Subconsciously you don't want to ruin a cutie But if they've got a bit of a mug face You want to smash them of course So if you're going to go for the mug face You've got to be real mug faced and tough.

And I don't think we want that. We want more cute. That's my take on it. Anyway, that's pretty, the Warriors could try that. Yeah. Where have you been all this time? And that's our NRL coaching success here. A genius of sorts.

Yeah, a genius of sorts. Thank you, Lee. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. It's five past six. Happy Friday. Happy Friday, guys.

It is. It's Friday. I just to balance that out. Not everybody's going to have a happy Friday. I hate to break it to you. Today is going to be somebody's worst day ever. Well, you're stuck in a house with three other COVID sufferers. Yeah, but I'd imagine there'll be someone who's having a far, far worse day.

I'm very comfortable here with a lot of television to watch. Oh, yeah. Lozenges. Lots of lozenges. Oh, I've got so many lozenges. My daughter, 10 years old, won't suck a lozenge. What? What's wrong with her?

She won't do a lozenge. It's a lolly. She makes it all taste gross. That's what I said. It's a lolly. Those honey ones just taste like you're sucking straight honey. Yeah. Yum.

What's wrong with that? She's like, no, I don't want a lozenge. And then she's like. I'm like, oh, God, have a lozenge. I bet if it was on a stick, she'd think it was a lollipop. It's all up here. Yeah, maybe you need to melt them down, put a little stick in it and reset them.

Yeah. And so have a lollipop. Mind games. A lozzy pop. Or just do what my parents would have done, held me down, held my nose until I opened my mouth to breathe and then put something in and then held my mouth shut again. You mean back in the good old days? Back in the good old days.

All right, coming up on the show this morning, 8 o'clock. Hasn't scarred me at all. Hasn't scarred me at all. I'm fine. You're fine. 8 o'clock, a retro petrol time machine, your chance to win free fuel. And after we do that, we have a special announcement. Ooh.

Ooh. So 8 o'clock. Is it that we're as a station going to subsidise petrol for the entire nation? No. Spoilers, spoilers, spoilers. No, that's not something we can do, Vaughan. That would bankrupt us, quite literally. Coming up on the show, the top six is soon.

Yeah, there's some mysterious radio signals from three billion light years away. Three billion light years away. How long would it take us to get in Elon Musk's rocket and get there? Three billion light years. It's a long time. A lot longer than three billion years because we can't travel at the speed

of light. No. Great. A lot longer. But I've got the top six things, those radio signals, because I work in radio so I can recognise a radio signal. Yeah, well you've got a degree, don't you? I do. And I've been doing this

for a little bit. Yeah. So I'll decipher what they are. I'll listen to them and decipher what they are and tell you the top six things

these radio signals from three billion light years could be. All right. Also coming up, we've got some more dating news. And if you're on a date

and they're not putting in enough effort, what can you do? Leave? To get a little bit more juice from them. And if you're on a date and they're not putting in enough effort, what can you do? Leave? To get a little bit more juice from them. No, you can't leave because you're sad and lonely and you need to find some respect. You can't die by yourself.

Mastercard have released a study that we didn't need because I think we all already know this. Let's get it out on the phone. Airfares are elevated and expensive at the moment. What? Wait, what? Really? What? Because there's not many flights, right? There are flights again, but there's not as many

as we... Yeah, well, a lot of the... Some of the airlines have started flying back to New Zealand but yeah, there's very limited capacity. From this study, the Asia Pacific region, it mentions, it doesn't mention New Zealand specifically, but it does say in Australia,

airfares are about 11% more expensive than they were in 2019 at this time. So just before the pandemic started, Singapore airfares are 27% more expensive in the US, 25% more expensive. Yeah, I was talking to some friends that are holidaying in Europe and they've moved over to do their OE but they're going to holiday around Europe first and they said

domestic airfares around Europe are insane. You know, like you could normally get them for like Ryanair 25 pounds or whatever or 10 pounds. Ridiculously cheap for a very long time. It's so expensive. As he said, it's just killing them. Like, it's crazy.

And I've heard that about America as well. Insane. Is Ryanair the airline that you've got to scrap for your seat? You know, it's not allocated. You have to fight them. Yeah, they just say, oh, bing bong, we're boarding now, and they let you out of the cattle. It's like a cattle yard.

Like the running of the bulls. Yeah. Yes. You just get on the plane and find a seat. I've got a $171 airport dollars here. Yeah. Where can I go? Halfway

to Wellington. They'll let you out. They'll just push you out of the plane. I'm only going to go halfway. Halfway. Maybe. Pushed out in Taupo. Yeah. Jeepers. Beautiful spot though. Yeah. Parachute you out. Actually a good place to skydive. It is.ers. Beautiful spot, though. Lovely hot pool. Yeah, parachute you out. Actually, a good place to skydive. A beautiful place to skydive.

It is. I've skydived there. It's lovely, yeah. Oh, okay. Well, that'll be all right. Very beautiful, yeah. Reduce my money. So, yeah, I guess, I mean, if you're wanting to travel somewhere, book early is the key,

really. No, I booked early. I'm going on a trip soon, an international trip, and, nah, expensive. So, still expensive. yeah, but if you were booking, like, say you were going, you were going in, like, what, July, if you were booking now, like, you could have pre-pandemic, you couldn't, there's no way

it'd be cheaper, yeah. Everything's more expensive, too, because like, health insurance, you know, or travel insurance, there's only certain companies that cover COVID, so you pay up the wazoo to go with one of those companies that will cover you if you get COVID when you're overseas. But you need that because what if you get stuck in hospital?

That's expensive. Oh, no, I'm stuck in Bali. Boo-hoo. You know? No, I mean, if you have to go to a hospital in Bali. The hospital comes to you on a little scooter. Do they? Everything comes to you on a little scooter in Bali.

Brilliant. Yeah, and they give you your medication and a delicious mojito. Yeah, and then they measure you up. Next time they come back, they've got a custom hospital gown for you as well. Oh, you're gorgeous. All right, 13 past six, next on the show. I've got some more dating tips for you singles, you sad singles out there. Carl Fletcher, listen up.

So sad. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, as we've spoken about a number of times on the show before, the dating world, it sounds like it sucks out there, to be honest. I'm very happy to be sitting in a stable, rock solid, unshakable relationship. Unshakable. Year after year just keeps ticking over and ticking over.

It's a reliable old Toyota Corolla. She's a workhorse, I tell you what, this relationship of ours. There he is every day. But if that's not your case, if you're more in a single and looking for love lane, it can be an absolute minefield out there. And one of the issues you may be coming up against is that if you're dating, maybe that person that you're dating is not putting in as much effort as you.

Maybe they're not, I don't know, buying you flowers, or maybe they're not texting you enough, or maybe they're not giving a bit of landscaping before you meet up. They're not texting you enough or maybe they're not, you know, giving a bit of landscaping before you meet up. They're not meeting you halfway. And so a relationship expert has chimed in on what you can do if that's the case. And I did tease that there were some like tips, but essentially it's leave.

Okay, right. It's just leave them. It's just leave them. So she has broken down three sort of things you can do, three things you can offer up if this is what's happening to you, that your person that you're dating has not been meeting you. The first thing they suggest is just meet them at their level. So you pull back and give as little as they give.

But she does warn ultimately this will lead to the relationship ending. So that's just a slower way to leave. Yeah. Tell them straight, like an ultimatum, is her second suggestion, that you don't think that they are giving enough. But if they're not giving enough, it probably means they're not as interested.

And you saying you want more will ultimately end the relationship. So that's another way to just leave. That does give them a chance if they are into the relationship to, you know, step it up. Yeah. Crank it up a notch. Put on some Barry White, you know.

Have a shower. The third thing is end things. Right. So she just really feels like there's very little hope if you're someone who puts in a lot of effort and you're someone who's not putting in a lot of effort at all. End things. Just end

things. To force their hand or to just end things. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, the first two I think are sort of like ultimatum-y, force, no, no, no. Yeah, the first two, I think it is sort of like, ultimatum-y, force your hand. I'll leave. I'll do it.

But no, the third one is straight up end things. Straight up, leave it. You get out of there. God. Well, that was depressing, wasn't it? I thought you were going to have some really constructive tips. I thought I was going to have some hot tips as well, Fletch. I like it though, because the tips are always like, spice things up.

Why is the person who's already not feeling the love in charge of spicing things up? Yeah. They're doing their part. Yeah, no one wants to be dragged. That's good. I like this leave advice. Okay, well, leave them. I'm going to follow this relationship expert. Yeah.

Then you've got the whole weekend to set up your Tinder profile. Absolutely. And then get with them and then leave them. Good fun out there. It sounds like good fun. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. From the panoramic ZM think tank,

this is the Top Six. Hello. Mysterious radio signals have been detected coming from three billion light years away. These are very confusing to scientists who have got recordings of them and they're like,

what could this be? I'm a scientist. That's how they talk. Scientists always say after they pose a big question, they remind everybody that they are indeed a scientist. What sort of scientist? One of them says, marine biologist. And they say, you're in the wrong place.

This is about space, not the sea. And he's like, I'll see myself out. See myself out. And then they all laugh because it's a pun on his branch of science. It's good. Yeah, I like it as well. And they're like, give the man some space. And then they all laugh.

That's some real scientist humour there. So I've got the top six things the radio signals from three billion light years away could be. Because if there's one thing, we know it's radio signals. Oh, you do? Well, you've worked in radio for a while now. So long. You've got a degree in radio for a while now. So long. You've got a degree in radio, Vaughan.

Yes, in broadcast and communications. Well, I think it's a certificate. It's printed out on a piece of paper, so that's a certificate, isn't it? Yeah, that's a certificate. Or it might be a diploma. Look, we are going to talk about my Polytech soon because someone got stuck in the lift.

Okay, good. Big news from my polytech. In fact, I think they call it an institute now because it's not. Oh, okay. It used to be polytechs that would be like, ooh, poor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Institute sounds like you get tied to a bed and get electric shock therapy while you're there. Oh, yeah, we did.

Yeah, we did. Oh, you did get that. Yeah. You did get that. Well, we could talk about how my Polytech was in the news recently, but I don't think so. I don't think we will. Yeah, the worst thing that happened at my Polytech was the lift was rubbish.

Yeah. Significantly worse things have happened. Yeah. So I've got the top six things. The radio signals from three billion light years away could be number six. It's the Gwerklop Galaxy's secret sound on Flirpzing FM. Weather prize is 10 billion quirlerps, and all thanks to Blink Blurp,

the best TV streaming service in all of Gwerklop. How exciting. What's the sound, Vaughan? Give us the sound. I bet you everyone thinks they know it. Everybody in the Gwerklop Galaxy thinks they know the secret sound. It's this. You ready? This is the secret sound in the Gwerklop galaxy thinks they know the secret sound. It's this. You ready?

This is the secret sound in the Gwerklop galaxy. Okay. It sounds like water dripping in a shower. They don't have water. They don't have water in the Gwerklop. It's a fleur log. It is a fleur log. You should bring it and win the 10 billion Quirl Ops.

Damn it. Damn it. Am I going to be late? Have I missed it? I'm pretty three billion light years late. I don'tps. Damn it. Damn it. Am I going to be late? Have I missed it? Pretty three billion light years late. I don't know. Someone might have solved it by now. Just call now and ask to stay on the phone for 20 minutes.

They'll just leave you on hold to have a guess. Is it 0800 dial? Glurkloff. Glurkloff. Yeah. No, Flurpzing. 0800 dial Flurpzing. Yeah.

And then you'll get through. God, the producers will have had a guts full of people calling from three billion light years away with the answer, though. They'll be like, we're not doing it now. We're doing a phone-a-run. When your partner and you disagree on where to go for a long weekend. That sort of thing. Number five on the list of the top six things the radio signals

from three billion light years away could be. It's a local radio station's lost and found pet segment. Oh, lovely. And I've listened to it, so if you've seen an orange tabby cripple brat that answers his name blurpy, please get in touch with the station. He's lovely.

He's a cripple brat. Cripple brat, yeah. You know what it's like, Hayley. If you lost your cripple brat, you'd be so upset. Young Rolly brat, I'd be so sad. You'd be so upset. Number fourolly Brott, I'd be so upset. You'd be so upset. Number four on the list of the top six things the radio signals from three billion light years away could be.

It's a local Blanda Kazarian station telling us they have a big announcement at eight o'clock this morning. We've got a big announcement at eight o'clock this morning. It doesn't matter where in this infinite universe you are. Apparently eight o'clock is the time for big announcements. Fantastic. I reckon ours big announcements. Fantastic. I reckon ours is bigger. Yeah.

Are you sure? Because I've got inside word as to what the local Blander-Kazarian station is announcing at 8 o'clock. It's pretty big. Okay. Is it? We'll weigh the math. It's massive.

Oh, okay. I'll at 8 o'clock let you know. Is it the return of something? It is the return of something. Oh, okay. A little tease from Carl Fletcher there. Wow. Do you think both us and the Blander Kazarian station

are announcing the same thing at 8 o'clock? Well, I don't know. Well, surely it's not part of the same circuit. Oh, wow. It could be. It could be. It could be. That's nice.

Number three on the list of the top six things that are radio signals from three billion light years away could be it's a mattress special from Brownies Mattress Direct. It's literally the same Brownies Mattress Direct we have here. Right. That's just how much he wants to sell mattresses. Yeah, right. It's just, it's inescapable.

So there's creatures. Hold on, I'm just listening to the next. Oh, okay. It's a Magnus Benro ad. Oh, okay. It's a Magnus Benro ad. Lovely. John and Adrian.

Oh, my berserk-a-loig is bloody broken. Well, John, we've got new berserk-a-loig is bloody broken. Well, John, we've got new berserk-a-logs down here at Banders Benro. That sort of. Fantastic. I better get down there. You weren't there, you dum-dum. That's it. Number two on the list of the top six things the radio signals from three billion light years away could be.

It's a boring gossip segment where they are surprisingly talking about the Kardashians. Yeah, I mean, say what you will. Say what you will about that family. It's got some galactic reach. Yeah. They're interstellar. Yeah, they talked about literally everywhere. But they were a couple of weeks behind on the latest series.

Oh, okay. No spoilers for them. Okay. Because it's three billion light years away. And number one on the list of the top six things the radio signals from three billion light years away could be. I'm just listening again. Oh my God.

It's a daily top six list from the Nufferdorf universe that's usually written in a hurry with three semi-decent jokes, a couple of real half-assed efforts, and one that's 100% made up just to fill up the numbers. Wow, it sounds like radio's exactly the same 3 billion light years away than it is here It happens everywhere

It just happens everywhere That is today's top 6 Dunedin Hell of a town You see some things there that you won't see anywhere else You're like, a couch is on fire I just love it Do you? You love Dunedin?

I love Dunedin I love walking around Dunedin. I mean, I love the architecture. The buildings are amazing. I'm a huge fan of the old architecture in Dunedin. It's a shame that some of those buildings aren't full of people. I know. We need to get them out of there, honestly,

and chuck them in a lovely little plot of land out west Auckland. But I just love it. It's chaos. You go down there and it's always chaos. It's a real mixed bag Dunedin you've got a huge student population

you've got old people who have lived there forever who don't feel the cold apparently a strong Scottish heritage yeah and a man that walks

seven huskies at a time and when I say walks I mean he's on a bike and the huskies are doing the thing huskies do and they run I mean this he's on a bike and the Huskies are doing the thing Huskies do in their run. I mean, this was only a matter of time. And then this report was on

the news last night. Larry Nikvolodov has more going on than the average cyclist. The Dunedin resident and his pack of seven lively Huskies can often be seen cycling and running around the city. However, this wasn't the case for a recent night driver near the central city who didn't see Nikvolodov or his dogs attempting to cross the street. The driver ended up hitting Nick Volodov, leaving the dog owner with a sprained wrist and around $500 of damage to his bike and clothes. Now, I can understand not seeing a cyclist if you're not paying full attention, but the cyclist is also being towed by seven huskies,

a thing that I don't believe I could miss on cuteness factor alone. I know. What, do you just want to stop and pat them all? But they're energetic pups, aren't they, huskies? Oh, my God. We looked at getting a husky once, and someone's like, you've got to be ready to run a husky 10Ks a day. I've been told the same thing.

So how fast do they pull them on his bike? Well, I've looked up how much a husky can pull. They're incredible creatures. They're insanely strong. One husky would easily be able to pull a human without a bike, just if the human was to lie flat on the ground and just get dragged behind it for a short distance. Two huskies could do it for a considerable amount of time.

Now, apparently, if you're going to go sledding, two huskies, if you've trained them well enough, would be enough to go about 40 miles a pop, which is a phenomenal amount of running. I was lucky enough to go a few years ago, go husky sledding, and I think there were six huskies on a sled, and you'd put an anchor into the

snow if you wanted to stomp, and then as soon as you took that anchor out, it was like, boom, you were gone. But wouldn't it rip your arm off if you wanted to stop. And then as soon as you took that anchor out, it was like, boom. You were gone. But wouldn't it rip your arm off if you're putting this anchor into the thing? It's like a handbrake. You lower it in, it's like a hook, and it slowly adds more and more resistance. You just

slowly push it down. And they get pulled back so they're like, oh, we must be stopping. So they stop. But even to get that anchor out is insanely hard. And then as soon as it's gone, they're out. They're gone. Like, they're so powerful. So taking seven of them on a bike, you're kind of asking for trouble.

Around a city. Around a city as well. You're going 100 miles an hour. Yeah. You'd have the speed wobbles within two seconds of starting to move again. Yeah, I think his problem was so that the person wasn't charged for the accident. Is that rain on the roof? Yeah, it's raining at my house, guys.

Jesus, that sounds loud. Has it reached mine yet? God, it's all over you. It's on its way. Look forward to it. You're going to have to put some ear cartons and sound stuff on the roof if you're going to keep broadcasting from home. When the shed gets finished, I want to build a soundproof room and

never have to leave home again. So that's great that you're on board with that plan. Save your red cartons for me please. I mean at least it'll get you to work on time. There'll be no excuse. I don't know. Sleep longer. It'll be a good 10 metres to the garage. I could easily be late.

ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Yummy, yummy, yummy. In my tummy. It's so rich and good. Yummy, yummy. A segment of the show where we... You surprised me again. I forgot about the new intro.

It's a great intro. A segment of the show where we take a look at new food trends and items. Yes, and here's one that has sort of a cult following that I have not been up with. Right. Now, I am the trend alert breaker of the show, but this is a trend I'm a little bit behind on. Everyone knows of Biscoff.

Lotus is the brand. Biscoff. I've never heard of Biscoff. What is a brand. Biscoff. I've never heard of Biscoff. What is a Biscoff? Biscoff is like a biscuit, and then they made it into a spread. Yuck. And I don't know. Is Carween there?

Yeah, Carween's. Social media queen, Carween. Oh, my God, no. If we're going to Carween, it's some Gen Z flash in the pan bullshit. It's super Gen Z-y. It's super Gen Z. Next week, Carween's not even going to Carween, it's some Gen Z flash in the pan bullshit. It's super Gen Z-y. It's super Gen Z. Next week, Carween's not even going to remember this. This is how we'll hear it at Gen Z peers function.

Oh, everything's, Queen, we have no choice but to stand. Let's set up a fan page. And then next week. We mute the old man's mind, please. No, I think the Biscoff is like an old person thing. I don't think it's a new thing. It looks like a bloomin' malt biscuit or something. Yeah.

A plain biscuit for old people. But the spread has been poppin' off and we have no choice but to stand the spread. But now, the yummy yummy is, no, I'm not talking about the spread. I'm not, you know, six months behind. Kit Kat have made a chunky, you know, the chunky Kit Kat bars

with Biscoff filling. And, Carween, did you try one? I sure did, and it changed my life. Really? So what does it taste like? I don't know what it's supposed to taste like, but to me it was like a bitter salted caramel vibe. So like not as sweet. A biscuity filling.

No, I think they've used the spread. Okay, oh wow, okay. Because Kit Kats were made of other Kit Kats, right? That's common knowledge, right? Kit Kats are made up of mullied up Kit Kats that didn't pass the quality test. What? Yeah, gross, eh?

Kit Kat inside was just mullied up other Kit Kat. I'm just seeing here a 400 gram jar of Lotus Biscoff spreads $9, Carwen? You'll never have a house deposit if you're spending this amount of money on a spread? Oh, Vaughn, she never will anyway. For her generation, let's be honest. But apparently it's like

it's a peanut buttery, the spread is like a peanut buttery texture but instead of being made up of nuts, it's made up of sort of pureed biscuits. Oh, okay. Old people biscuits made into a spread. It sounds feral, I'm going to say it. It sounds gross.

So was it a malt biscuit? Like, would it be like a lolly cake biscuit? No. No? No. What biscuit would it be? They say it's very buttery, brown sugary, and spice flavoured cookie.

Oh, I'm going to love this. I'm going to love this. I think you are, Flit. I'm going to love this. I'm going to love this. I think you are. I'm going to love this. It's a spreadable cookie. The Biscoff spread is like a spreadable cookie, which now Kit Kat, Nestle, have put into,

they've put the spread into the Kit Kat. Wow. What do you spread it on? The wafer. So it's like. No, no, no. If you were going to buy the spread, what do you put that on?

Toast. Anything, Dawn. Yeah, toast. Toast. You're putting a biscuit on toast. I know. That's insane. That's like people who eat a pie sandwich.

That's insane to me. That's bad. All right, well, it's out. Where did Karwen try this? I got it at Countdown. Oh, so these are here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Aussie and New Zealand. We're all over it. Okay. All right, well, give it a try. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Yeah, it's time now. We want to talk about, one, Carl Peter Fletch's Institute of Technology.

Yeah, which when I studied there was a Polytech. And Polytechs went through a bit of a name change, didn't they, like 10 years ago? Yeah, but why? Because they have a, I guess people think, oh, you went to Polytech. It's like povo. It's like not, it's not university.

It's course. So they changed a lot of them to like an Institute of Technology or an institution, which I think, you know, sounds like a technology. More like you're going to get strapped to a bed and get electric shock therapy. They're a madhouse. Yeah, but I think it just left behind that name that people associated with, you know, not a university. And then it just, now everyone just thinks Institute is the new Polytech,

so it's not exactly sure. But anyway, I don't care where you got your qualifications. Well, no, I'm doing it right, aren't I? Am I? You're doing just the same as anybody. I'm doing the same as you, and you have a degree. I have a degree, but it's from a Polytech as well. Oh, yeah.

If we're pulling that, I'm doing the same as you guys, and I didn't study radio at all. But what have you got? Something in acting. I've got study radio at all. But you've got a, what have you got? A something in acting? I've got a degree in acting. A degree? That's awesome. She's got a $40,000 student loan

is what she's got. And her parents who work in the financial institute area said, we're not paying for you to go to some dumb acting school, get a real job. And she said,

I'm my own person, father. All you've got now is some silly voices that you put on. What are you talking about? That's a $35,000 voice, that one, ladies and gentlemen. Don't you talk to me like that. That's one of my characters I've been working on since farm school.

Thank you. Wow, that's good. It sounds well. I won't hear a bad word about my education. That's another one I've been working on. It's so good. Worth it. Thanks, guys.

Yeah, well, my... Put more time into that second one. My Polytech, my institute was in the news yesterday. Yeah, because people got stuck in a lift. The lift went... I'm imagining the lift made a bang noise and a crank noise and then a little, like, sudden stop and then everybody was just waiting for it to plummet.

Well, that never happens. That's an urban myth. That's a thing from the movies. They've all got brakes on them to stop the plummeting. Yeah, but what year was Whitworth? Well, that building that the lift was stuck in, there's a couple of them there. I think we had a couple of classes on maybe level two,

but it was mostly all hairdressing and all the other things in the big buildings. Right. But horrible, getting stuck in a lift. I've had it once, and you know why it got stuck? Because bloody my friends were jumping up and down. I get so angry when people do that in a lift.

It's the pits. It's like, don't do it. I've only ever been stuck in a lift once, and I was just looking at my phone because I was like, I wonder if I can find a photo from it. And I have. So this was in 2009, 2010 because it was New Year's Eve and me and my friends were in Auckland. We like flew up to the big smoke to have a night out. Yeah.

We ended up at Sky City Casino. That was sort of the night. So anyway, we stayed at this really cheap accommodation and we were the same. Like we got in to go downstairs to like head out for the night. We had a couple of drinks on board. And then a massive, like at another level, a massive party came on.

And of like nine people in the lift, and as they got on, the lift just started dropping like this without closing the door because it was too heavy. Okay, that's not good. And then it stopped and we couldn't get out. Yeah, this is a photo of like crammed in with just strangers. That guy's got a can of woodstock in his hand. They were drunk and rowdy and we were in there for an hour.

So an hour. How long was the lift stuck at the Institute of Technology board? It wasn't long. They're still in there. They're still in there. They just left them there. I think we're just going to leave them. I think it was like 20 minutes.

It's the Taranaki way. It's the Taranaki way. It's the Taranaki way. Find your own way out, you know. Solve your own problems. It's what makes a great Taranaki. Well, that's exactly. We are problem solvers. I think the fire service came and let them out after like 20 minutes.

Did you have to get rescued as well by the fire people or was it an elevator tech? Because it was so heavy, we'd gone below ground level. So when they opened the doors at ground level, it was like, what's, is it Final Destination?

That's got like half. Oh no. And you had to climb out when it was half. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I was like, I've seen the film.

I guess this is how I go. Yeah. You get cut in half. Sliced in half. Just as they pull you out. It was like, all these drug, they're bloody drug, in Auckland for New Year's. as they pull you out. But the worst part was like, all these drug, they're bloody drug,

in Auckland for New Year's and they all needed to wee and one guy was like, I'm going to have to go. I'm going to have to go. And we were like, please don't. Could he have crouched at the door

and wee'd down the gap? I don't know. Just hold on. Either way, I would have seen as Willie and I didn't want to. I can't hold on. I would have been, I'm so sorry.

I would have been crying and apologising as I did it but I definitely would have crouched wee out have been, I'm so sorry. I would have been crying and apologising as I did it, but I definitely would have been a crouch way out the door. I'm so sorry. Well, I wonder if anybody listening can beat being stuck in the lift for an hour or more. So you were in one hour, Hayley?

One hour. Okay, can anybody listening now beat being stuck in an elevator for one hour? Because I want to know, like, what's the longest? And at what point do you start thinking, okay, who are we eating in an elevator for one hour? Because I want to know, like, what's the longest? And at what point do you start thinking, okay, who are we eating in this elevator? Yeah, or maybe you're someone who also has a weak bladder like Vaughn and just had to go in front of a bunch of strangers.

Or worse, on your own, and then they open the door and you're like, I took a crap in the corner. LAUGHTER Well my old Learning institute Is in the news Because Some students Got stuck in the lift

At WIT Western Institute Of Technology And Trees Or whatever the Second T Stands for now

I don't know But yeah I think they were Rescued by the fire service After like 20 minutes So it wasn't technology and trees or whatever the second T stands for now. I don't know. But yeah, I think they were rescued by the fire service after like 20 minutes. So it wasn't long in the lift. But Hayley, you've been stuck in a lift for an hour? I rocked an hour, yeah, with about, yeah, I think there was like 13 or 14 of us in a 10-person lift and that was sort of the issue. Wow.

All of them strangers bar one. Okay, so how long have you been stuck in a lift? Can you beat an hour? Harriet joins us. so how long have you been stuck in a lift? Can you beat an hour? Harriet joins us. Harriet, how long were you stuck in a lift? Good morning, guys. I was stuck in a lift for quite a while, but the worst part is that after we managed to get out of the lift,

we were stuck in an office building. Had they locked up and gone home for the day? Yeah, so me, my mum and my dad were on holiday in Queenstown, and I decided I wanted to take a ride and lift. It was probably about four or five, so me and my mum get in, my dad's still in the McDonald's. We get down to the ground floor, and the doors just would not open, and my mum ended up prying them open.

It was quite funny. We had, like, a rice cracker, and I remember thinking, this is the last thing I'm ever going to eat. I'm going to die in here. And then my mum managed to pry the doors open, but it was an office building. It was closed down for the weekend. So then we were stuck in the ground floor of this

office building and we had to get a member of the public and describe what my dad was wearing so we could go and find him so he could tell us how to get out oh wow oh my god what a nightmare what was dad doing this whole time just like you know how dads i do this as a dad and i know my dad did as well like if mom was doing something he'd just start wandering until he heard his name being called yeah no probably just enjoying his pancakes to be honest yeah

just eating some hot cakes just chilling and just waiting to hear his name screamed and that's your indication that it's time to meet up with the family again. Harriet, thanks for your call. Dom, how long were you stuck in an elevator for? About two and a half hours. Oh my god. That's rough. Whereabouts was this elevator? It was

in London. It was at night. I was actually doing office furniture removals. Oh yeah? And taking the elevator back up to the floor that we were taking the furniture from. The elevator didn't quite come level.

The doors opened about two inches and stopped. Oh. And you couldn't like prize them open? No. No, we've all seen the movie. You're not supposed to do that or you get chopped in half. You can't do it. You've got to stay put.

This elevator had glass doors and the stairs actually went past it and I ended up watching everybody else move the furniture down the stairs. So does that mean if you did need to sort of relieve yourself of needing to go wheeze, they would have all seen you do it too? Fortunately, I didn't need to go. Were they two and a half hours? I don't think I've ever been two and a half hours in my life. Two and a half wheeze in there.

Were they not like going to rescue you or was that just when in an elevator? They had to get an engineer out to unlock it was it they got all the work done and they had to wait for me to be released so everyone could go home oh but you're all getting paid for that time right yeah

oh yeah yeah okay that's not bad then Dom thanks you're cool Chris how long were you stuck in a lift for? I wasn't stuck in a lift because I fell through a lift. What? Okay. Yeah, I was working for one of the supermarket chains when I was, you know, in school. Yep.

And I was on trolleys that day. Okay. And it was one of these supermarkets that had a ground level and an up level, you know, parking down the bottom and the shop was at the top. Yeah. And I put I think I was sending an empty trolley lift back down to the ground floor. Yeah. So I put it

down and went down the bottom, nothing happened. I knew I had a drink sitting on the top of the lift. It used to be able to jimmy the door open. Yeah. So it didn't come down, so I went back to the top and I wanted to go get my drink. So I opened the door and walked out across the top of the lift. We used to be able to jimmy the door open. So I didn't come down, so I went back to the top and I wanted to go get my drink. So I opened the door and walked out across the top of the lift, which had stopped for

unknown reasons. And as I bent down and grabbed my drink, the lift fell to the ground floor. It's probably this, so it doesn't have the safety precautions of a people lift. So yeah, I'm hanging

in mid-air pretty much looking down at my feet to see nothing and I fall down from the top story down through the sheet metal skin lid of the trolley lift and land in a crumpled heap on the inside of the lift and the bottom door

opens and I sort of hit the ground and roll out the door. And where was your drink? Did you get that back? Yes, I did get my drink back. That was the main thing. I hope you gave it a little bit so it wasn't all like fizzy and stuff. No, no, no, it was fine.

Yeah, good. Amazing. Chris, thank you. Some more messages, people getting stuck in the lift. Somebody said, are you taking gondola stories? Because I got stuck in a gondola for 45 minutes and it led to a crippling fear of heights in small spaces because it was swinging in the wind.

Oh, gross. No, thank you. I got stuck for five minutes in a lift. That doesn't sound like a lot, but I was in a hospital and I was transporting a dead body to the morgue. That's when horror movie things happen. That's when the body

comes to life. Would you, do you reckon you'd have a little chit chat? Oh, Marge. Oh, we're stuck for a little bit, Marge. Just you and me?

Yeah, probably would. And then you'd put your finger under Marge's mouth and you're like, don't worry. Marge is here. Marge is here. I think that's the other thing

you're allowed to touch A dead patient and spawn Aren't you? Nah Give me five Give me five Marge Oh Good on ya

Great pop Marge Somebody said They said the orderlies Pried the doors open And were stuck between floors And I was just like I'm out And I skidded out

Oh no no no no You don't do that Have you seen those Elevators I think they're mostly In America In old buildings and I was just like, I'm out, and I skidded out. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You don't do that. Have you seen those elevators? I think they're mostly in America in old buildings or in hospitals, and they're just a conveyor belt with steps, and you step off when you want to get off. Have you seen those? No.

So you don't have to wait for elevators. So in places like hospitals or other busy places, you can just jump off when it's your floor. Yeah. No, thank you. No, that sounds not good. All right. I just wanted to give a special mention to the person

who got stuck on a lift for four hours in Whitianga with a, I'm not going to describe them how they described them, but it was a really drunk 50-year-old woman who did pee-pee in a corner and someone else who had a pet possum. Can you imagine that lift combination? They were 16 at the time, too. Oh, wow. That's scarring. Yeah, very scarring.

726. Next on the show, I've forgotten. Let me open the thing. By the way, I just thought, have we got it penciled in to catch up with that woman in Hamilton yesterday? Yes, Lorne. We have we got it penciled in to catch up with that woman in Hamilton yesterday? Yes, Lorne. We have.

Okay, that's an update. That is coming up. You just scrolled down a little bit, babe. Yeah, yeah, I see that. Just before 8 o'clock. That's great. Are you blaming COVID fog on this? Are you blaming COVID fog on this or are you just useless?

Isn't it you with the radio degree and just fletch with the certificate? No, but see, I knew all this was happening, you see, but I'm acting like it's a surprise because people are, you know, I'm kind of like trying to relate

to the listener who would also be wondering at this time if they were listening yesterday. I wonder if they're going to catch up with that woman who was confronting

the tutor last night. Nice save. And that's why they see a lot of themselves in me and I'm relatable and probably everybody's favourite.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. A British man, South African originally, because when you hear his accent, you're going to be like, what is this accent? South African originally, by way of Britain. Okay. He is friends with some Australians,

and he's talked about how intense greetings are in Australia since he moved there, and how he's, as a person from Britain, really struggling to come to terms with how Australians greet each other. There's something actually wrong with Australians. I was at the shops and this is how the two Aussies greeted each other. Hey, John, you f***ing idiot. Maddie, you f***. When I saw this, I thought they were going to fight.

I realised it's actually normal to sway in Australia. By doing this in Africa or any other place, bro, your head will get chopped off. He's so right because it's actually normal to swear in Australia. By doing this in Africa or any other place, bro, your head will get chopped off. He's so right because it's like that here. Oh, absolutely. Americans don't know how to handle New Zealanders greeting each other with C-bombs. No.

The concept of GC in America, they're like, what? You would never. You can't team up those words. They mean the absolute opposite. It's like, no, no, no, that's why it works, mate. It's a sign of respect.

Yeah. Do you think Aussies are worse at it than we are, though? Yeah. I think they're more abrasive when they communicate. We come across

like a little bit cuter and naive with this like rinky-dink little accent when we swear we say you know when you see a kid swear and it goes like crazy remember that little kid standing up on the windowsill when she saw the goat and she's like no it's the effing goat and everyone's like cute but if it was an Australian it'd be like nah it's an effing goat and you'd be like oh god the child needs discipline it's something our accent's definitely more the

cuter and the more naive of the two. So maybe we just get away with it, cuteness factor-wise. Also, if you're living in Britain where it's like, hello, dear. Hello, my darling. A double kiss. Hello, mummy. How are you?

Yeah, it's a bit of a change. It would sound quite harsh, wouldn't it? Yeah. It's hard to sort of jam on this, isn't it, when we're not allowed to swear on the earth. I usually call my friends a P of S. Yeah. And then they call me a F of E.

Yeah, there's two people you'll drop the C-bomb at. It's people you absolutely hate and people you absolutely love. Absolutely. Yeah. I say it to my mother every Christmas. Oh, thanks so much for this, Mum. You're such a GC. Thank you. Oh, thanks so much for this, Mum. You're such a GC.

Well, today's Silly Little Pole as Kiwis leave on their always and holidays after a couple of long years. With the borders open, a lot of people are rubbing it in our faces. You're the only person I've talked to. You, man. I've had to mute someone for 30 days because they've started their OE and they're going all through Europe and I can't stand it. Well, I'm the lone born. I'm not alone. I can't believe this. Be happy if you're friends or don't follow these people.

If their happiness upsets you, unfollow them. The internet is muting you. Yeah, the internet is literally interrupting you because it doesn't want to hear you. I literally, because my mum and dad are in Italy right now, every single day, and I know she's listening all the way from Italy because she's a very proud mother. My mother sends me and my brother temperature screenshots.

29, 30, 29, 29, 30, 28, 29, 30. And then she sends me, God, wine sales everywhere. It's crazy cheap. Gatsby. You should send her the calorie average pasta dish. The what? You cut out.

The calorie count on a pasta dish. The calorie count on an average pasta dish. Yeah, good idea. Let her know that she's older and her metabolism's slowing down.

All right, well, today's Silly Little Pole. Would you mute a friend if they posted too many holiday grams? Stories or posts. Yeah, for sure, 49%, and nah,

don't mind, 51%. Split each. That's real. That's really split, isn't it? Yeah, man. I also, I'm looking at our vote numbers again. God, we get thousands and thousands of these things, don't we?

Yeah, big poll energy, absolutely. Big poll, 5,000 people. Big poll energy. God, we get thousands and thousands of these things, don't we? Yeah, big poll energy, absolutely. Big poll, 5,000 people. Big poll energy. Well, some respondents, some messages regarding this. Forgive me if I cut out during this. There is an intense thunderstorm at my house right now and I am on satellite internet. But Callie said, a mate of mine just unfollowed me a couple of weeks ago.

He told me he was sick of watching all my adventures. I told him he needs to get a life and have some of his own. So what sort of, I'm so happy for my friends if I see them happy. I'm happy for them. but if you're sitting here, you know,

with coronavirus, freezing cold and eating a bowl of cold spaghetti, it's hard. It's hard to be happy for others. It's hard.

It's hard. Warm up your spaghetti and look forward to an adventure that you could have, you know, your own time sometime soon. Jess says, it depends on the friend and the holiday. Currently just started following a cousin because she's going on holiday.

Oh, yeah, because otherwise cousin's boring. That's, I mean, I wouldn't say that. Controversial. I've got a bunch of very lively cousins. Shout out to my cousins. Kate says, yes, but holiday grams are the least of my worries. What about baby grams, pregnancy grams, and new couple grams? Yeah, I have to mute all of those immediately.

Far more mutable. As soon as the baby scan goes up, it's a mute. Hide or unfollow. It's an 18-year mute, isn't it? I don't need any of that shit. And then they start going on holidays, and I mute that too. I don't even know why I follow these happy people.

Chevelle says, getting jealous and FOMO. I'll mute them for a bit until I get over myself. So I'll give them a 30-day mute and then unmute because I realise I'm being silly. I love seeing my friends enjoying themselves. The only friends I've ever muted are the vaccine conspiracy theorists that I went to school with.

Oh no, I unfriend those. I can't be friends with those people. They're a full delete. You cut them. Yeah. If it's going to make me jealous while I'm at work, says Jess, and they're on holiday, then yes, I'll mute them. However, I still expect everybody to watch all of my happiness in any of its forms. Yes, it's fine

when you're on holiday, just when you're not. Yeah. Exactly. Wow. Alright, well, our cellular pile, very divided. Did people do this when I was in Disneyland? Because I was experiencing the happiest times of my life. I wonder now if you two both muted me because I was so happy. We muted you on social media. We also muted your mic when you were beaming in live.

We just wanted to make you feel involved. Like I was. Right. Okay. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now, you may remember yesterday, we were talking about when you caught your partner cheating,

how you caught them. We had some absolutely outrageous calls in, but one of which took our heart, didn't it? Oh, yes. It was a woman who called up who was pregnant, had been with her man for some time, and the night before, yesterday yesterday when she called us, had found out that he was married.

And we talked to her and we said, this happened yesterday. Like, how are you feeling? And she said, hi. She was a lovely hard case, tell you what. Yeah. And then her plan was to tell him that very night, which would have been last night. And so we were hoping to get an update, but no word.

No, no, I believe we've been trying her this morning, but she may be asleep or... We will endeavour to make contact with this unnamed caller and you know what we should do? Just letting everybody have a little peek behind the curtain and see how the sausage is made. Oh, no, you don't tell people how the sausage is made. Well, I'm going to tell them how the sausage is made.

It's a lot of hoof, a lot of hoof I was thinking like if we hear from her and it's like two minutes to nine, podcast exclusive Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely We get the people downloading the podcast Yeah, that's great because I don't know if I've mentioned today already Vaughan

but you can actually download the iHeartRadio app and get the podcast on that. You can. You've mentioned that. I think you've mentioned that 10 plus times this morning. A lot of times, yeah. You've got to shut up about this iHeartRadio app. Well, no, I'm a company man, Vaughan.

Yeah, no, but I've got tons of money invested in frequency modulation, you know, the continued life expanse of FM. I've lost so much money on AM. That thing's dying. It's bleeding out in the corner. I'm hoping FM's going to last forever. Radio forever. We'll keep you updated if we hear from her.

Let the saga continue. We need to know if she got in touch. Because we were dreaming of plans. She was going to get the wife to come. They were going to go out to dinner. With the cake? And the wife was going to come and bring a cake and say, hey, honey, who's this?

And it was going to be a whole thing. We had text suggestions coming in for how she should do it. I mean, she also could be in prison right now. We don't know what's happened. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, she could be in prison. We don't know. She could be in remands.

It may have gone sideways. We don't know. She just hit the raz after it all went down last night and she's just a bit hungover. Anyway, so we talked about cheating yesterday, the ways that people were finding out, shampoo in the shower. There was a news story overnight

about a woman who had an allergic reaction to a product and her boyfriend came over and then she got the allergic reaction, was like, why are you using Olaplex, which is a hair bonding thing that predominantly women use and he didn't have any hair. And she was like, hmm, you're cheating.

There's another way. And this has been called out online. Someone on TikTok. It's always TikTok. Always exposing the cheaters on TikTok. They've said to look out on your SO's phone for a second calculator.

Now, if you're listening and you're like, shut up. Yeah, but what if your significant other is an accountant Like he works for What's an accounting firm? KPMG What if your partner works at KPMG Just put two surnames together

Smith and Fletcher Smith and Fletcher Well maybe they will But you want to look out for either Calculator hashtag or calculator plus Okay Oh, maybe they will, but you want to look out for either calculator hashtag or calculator plus. Okay. And it looks exactly like your standard calculator app,

just a little calculator that you'd find on an iPhone. But what it is, it's a storage bank for naughty material. It's password protected. You go in and you put in your little password. One, two, three, four. Oh no, I see my pin on here. Oh my god, can we do it? Is this live? It's live.

We can't take it back. Oh no. So you put in your little pin number or your password and then it shows, you can hide photos, top secret things, messages, all sorts. Documents, passwords. Before when you said you were going to talk about this,

you said, so there's a way to find out if your partner's cheating on you. So if you're cheating on your partner, change station. That was a show and tell enough as it is. Because somebody messaged in saying, is the clue that my partner's cheating on me the fact that he just said I'm sick of this bullshit and changed the station? Yes. I mean, don't literally hear someone on the radio saying, if you're cheating on your partner, get ready to change station

and then say, sick of this bullshit and change station. Guilty. You dumb dumb. Guilty. Guilty. One hundred percent. Oh, well, the guy just said it in the voiceover. Oh, God, I thought we were going to do it all in unison. Friday Jams.

Friday Jams. Returns. Ret going to do it all in unison. Friday jams. Friday jams. Returns. Returning in November. In November. November. November. So that is the big announcement after a couple of COVID years where, you know, they couldn't literally get in, could they?

Nobody could. I know, of course. Now, I'm super excited. And it's not that I wasn't a fan of the show before I worked with you because I'm a huge fan from afar. But I've never been to one of course. Now, I'm super excited, and it's not that I wasn't a fan of the show before I worked with you because I'm a huge fan from afar, but I've never been to one of these. Oh, my God, so much fun. So I think the last one was, what, like 35,000 people?

Because I know we've got that big photo in the office of the aerial shot taken by a drone in Western Springs just absolutely packed. So much fun. So we don't at this stage have a date or a lineup to give you, but in coming weeks or whenever, it will be announced. But looking at lineups of previous years. Oh, my God.

Yeah, that's the thing. So, I mean, like looking at the list of who's been in the past. I did see, I see Genuine's on there from the past. And I saw a video of him recently. I did see, I see Genuines on there from the past, and I saw a video of him recently. You know, when you see him, when you see him dancing like back in the heydays or like sexy, almost Magic Mike moves. But these days, maybe the Hipstone moves as well.

Well, Black Eyed Peas, I know they were incredible. 50 Cent, Scribe, Jason Derulo, Kerry Hilson, Jay Kwan, Usher, Little John, Salt-N-Pepa, Eve, T-Pain, Estelle, Genuine, Naughty by Nature, Craig David. The list just goes on. Shauna Paul. I remember the first year. That was at Spark Arena that year.

To celebrate this announcement at midday today, Friday Jams will be Friday Jams Alumni Hour with Georgia. So counting down some of the biggest Friday Jams will be Friday Jams Alumni Hour with Georgia. So counting down some of the biggest Friday Jams artists. And yeah, keep listening to ZM. We'll announce the date, the lineup, when it becomes available.

And of course, free tickets as always with Friday Jams. And to celebrate with Friday Flashback this week, I am going to play a former Friday Jams alumni artist. This song won a Grammy in 2002 for the Best Rap Sung Collaboration. It went gold here in New Zealand. It only got to number seven in the charts. But it was pretty much top ten all around the world. And to celebrate the fact that Friday Jams will be back, it's Eve, Gwen, Stefani. Let me blow your mind. And to celebrate the fact that Friday Jams will be back, it's

Eve, Gwen, Stefani. Let me blow your mind. On to them. Yo. Yo. Drop your glasses. Shake your asses. Face screwed up like you having hot flashes. Which one? Pick one. This one. Classic. Red from blonde. Yeah. I'm drastic.

Why this? Why that? Lip style basking. Listen to me, baby. Relax and start passing. Stress with head back, weaving through the traffic. This one strong should be labeled as a hazard. Some of y'all are hot psych, I'm gassing. Clowns, I spot them and I can't stop laughing. Easy come, easy go.

Evie gonna be lasting. Jealousy, let it go. Results could be tragic. Some of y'all ain't writing well. Too concerned with fashion. None of you ain't Giselle. Can't walk and imagine. A lot of y'all Hollywood drama. Outro Music And I'm gonna take my time. Don't fight that good thing, yeah. Now let me blow your mind. Eve, Gwen Stefani, it's your Friday Flashback today to celebrate the fact that Eve was once at Friday Jams Live

and we have announced that Friday Jams will be back for 2022. It'll be in November. We'll announce the exact date and the lineup soon. I love Eve. As per tickets to win. And, yeah, I mean, the lineup every time we've done Friday Jams Live has been amazing, and I'm sure this one will be no different. So, yeah, get that ready November.

I was such a big fan of Eve. I've actually got paw prints on the tops of my breasts. I got those done when I was about 16. Well, they're not on my breasts anymore. They're sort of more around my belly button. Sure, yeah. Yeah, big fan, big fan. Well, some messages in.

Someone said, oosh, good stuff. Someone else said, banger. Yeah. And someone said, what a banger, making me drive to work. The cars beside me are looking at me as I'm just absolutely rocking out to this classic. Fantastic. Because in the video, didn't they drive quad bikes, didn't they? I've just hit that out of the park again with my Friday flashback, is what you're saying there.

Okay, well, well done to you. Thank you. Yeah, blooming good from you. I'll go significantly better than the Flowrider option you were considering. Flowrider's coming, don't were considering. Flowrider's coming. Don't you worry. Flowrider's coming. Flowrider's always just on the verge.

Now, last night in the Smith household, I've reached that point of being stuck at home where I've started doing unnecessary tidying. Oh. Like yesterday, I cleaned out the freezer inside. Oh, you're a good man. I'm a good man because I tell you what, an overpacked freezer doesn't freeze very well, guys.

That's a little power tip consumption from the old smithy. You've got to have the vents, you know, uncluttered so that the air can circulate and keep everything colder easier. So I cleaned out the freezer. That was part one. And then part two, I found all of our old boxes from early 2020 when the pandemic began

of our canned food that we got when we thought the world was going to end. What kind of canned food did you get? Like spaghetti? Yeah.

Lots of spaghetti. And baked beans. Like Irish stews, like thick soups. To be fair though, you should always have something like that in your garage for your civil defence emergency kit. Totally.

I was stoked because I found a few tins of peaches and so I just cracked open a tin of peaches and ate a tin of peaches. What a treat. They'd be good, aren't they? You should put oats, butter and sugar on top, made a crumble. I could do that because I've got some left. I could do a peach crumble. However, I found one thing in there that I'm so

excited about to absolutely crack into today. Ladies and gentlemen, canned corned beef. Yum, yum, yum. I grew up on this stuff. I remember when there was my mate Sam, when we flatted together, he's Tongan, and I brought home canned corned beef, and he laughed, and he said, like, stop taking the piss. I'm like, what are you talking about?

And he's like, white people don't eat canned corned beef. he laughed and he's like, stop taking the piss. I'm like, what are you talking about? And he's like, white people don't eat canned corned beef. I'm like, excuse me, sir. I grew up on this. Nana used to make this lovely mouli. She'd open a can of this and put it in a bowl and then add like salt and pepper and tomato sauce and then you'd have it like you'd spread it on your... Oh, that's a scream.

Look at me celebrating. Yeah, like a meaty spread for your sandwiches. I think that's your weekly sodium intake in one tin though. Dude. I would say. What's the sodium content? Does it say it on the label? It does.

What's good sodium? Well, how much does it say is in there? In the can. Well, per serving is 341 micrograms of sodium. I don't think that's too bad. I think you're allowed like 2,000 a day or something. I mean, I'm literally just making up a number. Intake per day.

RDI. Yeah, 2,300 milligrams. One quarter. If you do this, you've done a quarter of your salt. You can eat that whole thing. So that is literally your entire intake for the day. True. It would be. It would be. This would be your absolute entire intake for the day.

That's disgusting though. Yuck. I love this. And Sade really rolled her eyes and screwed her nose up at me. And I said, you're forgetting your humble beginnings. Because I know her father also loves a tinned meat. Yeah. And so she was disgusted at me.

And I thought that I know also producer Jared has a snack that he enjoys that his middy's not on board with, and I think we'll write this off as a South African thing. It's always a South African thing, isn't it? When it's producer Jared, it's always a South African thing. Yeah. Producer Jared, what does your girlfriend detest? In this instance, it is a South African thing.

It's called Peck's Anchovet. Anchovet. It's a fish paste. Is this one of those? Oh, yuck. So it's like Marmite, but it's fish. Yeah, so basically it's, I've always imagined it. It's fish jam.

It's fish jam. Yum. I'm on board. Yuck. I've just imagined they got a tin of sardines, chucked it in a blender, and then spooned it into a little jar. And everything on the factory floor. What do you put it on?

Dare I say if it's called anchovet, it was probably anchovies, not sardines. Oh, yeah. That's what I meant. Yeah, it goes on toast. What do you put it on? Oh, no, you don't. Yuck.

It's like those chicken spreads. You know, you can buy them in the supermarket. It's like chicken spread. It's very expensive for a little 125 gram bottle, so I consider it quite gourmet. Oh, gourmet is that? It's pronounced gourmet, Jared. Oh, sorry. Yeah, you're a fancy boy.

Yeah, wow, okay. Someone just messaged in saying that their mum used to make the best tinned corn beef pie. Recipe, please! I've got time. I've got time and pastry, so I'm more than willing to make myself a little corn beef pie recipe please i've got time and pastry so i'm more than willing to make myself a little corned beef pie um what is it is it the uh um the scandy countries that also do like fish and scandies love a pickled fish a pickled fish that's it when i went to norway i was like what is this

food in the breakfast buffet where i was staying was like cold fish cuts for breakfast. And a slice of cucumber. I was like, eh. Where are the Froot Loops? Or the Coco Pops? Where are the Coco Pops? It's always seasoned. It's always seasoned and spiced so well, though.

You forget you're eating eight-week-old semi-dry fish. Somebody just messaged in, I'm pregnant, and literally had to pull the car over to vomit during that chat. Thanks for that. Oh, God. Good thing I work rurally. Fallen. What?

I didn't do anything. This is a delicious option for pregnant women as well. No, it's not. Don't eat tinned corned beef if you pre-go. Oh, actually, you probably shouldn't. No. All right, well, we want to ask now on the back of this,

0800-DARZATM-9696, is there a food, a snack, that your partner cannot stand or you can't stand your partner eating? Oh, yeah.

It's the best when you find a snack that you love that your partner doesn't because it means you don't have to share. I know, especially when you don't have

the same taste in chocolate or lollies. They're not going to eat your bag of Maltesers or white chocolate. Because it's not actually chocolate. Yeah. They'll still eat them. Aaron likes to crack a few raw eggs into a smoothie. That sort of puts me off a little bit.

Oh. Okay, well, I'll wait. He's a big boy. We're talking about if your partner loves a snack that you can't stand or, you know, you are that partner that has a delicious little snack that you can't get enough of that your partner thinks is absolutely feral and disgusting. Mine, delicious canned corned beef, ladies and gentlemen.

Well, Josh is on the phone. You are also a corned beef lover? Yeah, yeah. I'm an islander, so my mum grew us up on corned beef lover? Yeah, yeah, that's, yeah. I'm an islander, so my mum grew us up on corned beef curry. And I didn't actually realise until I was older that corned silver side

was corned beef. Yeah, yeah. Because I only eat corned silver side, but I'll eat corned beef from a tin. Right. Did you say corned beef curry?

Yeah. So, yeah, my missus, she only ate it once, to be polite, but I did it, she only ate it once, to be polite, but I did it like every week. And if you leave it in the pot, it gets better. Dude, that's any curry's rule, right? Leave it in the pot.

Next day, a curry's thickened up. It's almost richer. I'm looking at corned beef curry recipes here, and I tell you what, I'm on board. I love a little corned beef. Let me have and I tell you what, I'm on board. I love a little corned beef. Let me have a little look. I want to get on board. I want to get on board.

Oh! I love this. There's a curried corned beef and rice recipe with one star. You know how Google recipes are always like three and a half bucks? This one's got one star. So you know that if you cook that up, Josh, she's not going to touch it and it's all yours. Yeah, so if Mum says, do you want anything cooked,

then I'll say corned beef curry, and I know that that's me for like a yours. Yeah, so if mum says, do you want anything cooked? And I'll say corned beef curry and I know that that's me for like a week. Yeah, because you're not going to eat it out of the fridge. Amazing. Josh, thanks for your call. Some messages in. Someone said vanilla ice cream with marmite stirred through it. What?

I've never heard of this. No, yeah. That's a crime. Don't write this off. No, no, because it's a basic sweet with like a tang. It could be good. A salty. French vanilla.

How does the Marmite get in there? Yeah, because Marmite doesn't really melt. No, especially in a cold, right? So you get big slabs of it. Interesting. Maybe you do need to heat the Marmite up so it's a little bit more. But then it's going to melt the ice cream. But then do you then refreeze it?

Perhaps refreeze. You're going to need a follow-up text to that, please, caller. Yes, please. Recipes, please. All of these, in fact, recipes, please, because I'd try all of them. Jill's called in. Jill, your gross snack? Oh, no, it's my husband's gross snack.

So he loves sardines, tinned sardines. He'll mash them up, put them on his toast, and then he... No, no, it gets worse. He then dips the sardine toast into his cup of tea to make them a little soggy. I know. No, no. And then he drinks the tea.

Oh, yeah, which he would have a fish oil. The tea would have an oil slick on the top from the fish. I literally have to leave the room. It will give me the boats every time. Jill, is that a South African thing? No, he's Scottish. Oh. Like Scandi or something.

Yeah. That's what I was thinking, like South American. Yeah, okay. Amazing. Jill, thanks for your call. Justin. Hello. This is you and your call. Justin. Hello. This is you and your partner can't agree on the happy hour snack.

Yeah, so I wasn't sure if it classed as a snack, but yeah, I liked the two a bit of a red wine merlot and bit of cheese. And yeah, she just likes to have it white, but she likes rationed chips instead. Hey, hey, hey, you back up. I like white wine and ration chips. You've got like class and then you've got like playground snack. Yeah, just a little bit of a weird one, I thought. No, it's a complex flavour palette.

Yeah, tangs. It's opposites, right? It's playing opposites. Smoky, tangy, sweet. Yeah, I suppose it could work if that's what you like. You need to open your mind. Yeah. Justin, that's also the whitest thing I've heard this week,

so congratulations. Oh, thanks. I've heard some white shit this week, but that is definitely the whitest thing I've heard this week. Thank you, Justin. Some more messages in. Somebody said, my partner gets his protein powder

and puts a couple of dabs of water to make a paste and then spreads it on toast. It's so gross. Wait, but what flavour? Because most protein shakes are like maybe a strawberry or banana. Yum. If it's chocolate, are they trying to do like a... A Nutella.

A bulking version of Nutella. Yeah, totally. Just have Nutella. Life's too short, you know what I mean? Yeah. Totes. Dried duck tongue is a snack that I can't get on board with. Tongue.

Lots of reports of tongue. Beef tongue. Jellied beef tongue sliced up and had on sandwiches. That's something else. Now, there's something called Japanese nato sticky fermented beans. My partner absolutely loves them, but I just can't even stand the smell. Yeah, they're really stinky. Someone said, my missus won't even look at me

when I'm absolutely going tongue deep in a tin of smoked mussels. That's good news for her though. That just means that you're easy to care for and you're probably pretty fun to have around at the weekend too. It's a pop-down time. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Today's fact of the day is about a bladder condition called giant bladder syndrome. Giant bladder syndrome. Don't laugh. I don't know if I've got a small bladder or just an intolerance to any sort of discomfort in the area, but the minute I need to go to the toilet,

I'm just like, eh, I'm going to go to the toilet. We go to the movies. I'm just like, I'm going to run. You're so embarrassing at the movies. You go at least twice every movie. Yeah, me too. And I don't get any warning. Like I'll feel a little tingle in my bladder and then it's like, I'm busting.

I've got to go now. Yeah, right. But you've got an excuse. I'll hoon a giant frozen Coke before the trailer's ready to go. That's your issue. And then chase it down with a chalk top, and then that's a little liquid that needs to go somewhere.

So the normal functional bladder capacity in adults ranges from approximately 300 to 400 mils. Oh, yeah. Oh. So I was like, how do you measure your bladder capacity? And there's like scientific ways of doing it and scans and stuff, but other than that, they reckon hold on to you, absolutely can't hold on anymore, and then weigh and measure it.

Like weigh into a bucket and weigh it. Yeah. That's a good way of doing it, doing it by weight. Or I was thinking do it into the measuring jug, but just make sure that gets a hot wash before you use it for the Pyrex. I'm not reusing the Pyrex after I've done that. Piddle into the Pyrex. Get Pyrex under you.

Yeah, get into a Pyrex, I fear I've done that. Piddle into the pyrex. Yeah, get into a pyrex. So how big do you think, in this case, this specific study, there has been multiple reports of this, but this 80-year-old man who reported that he just didn't need to go to the toilet for a long time, and then when he did, the flow was long. How many litres do you think his bladder was when they measured it? Sorry, what was the average again for the average human? 3 to 400

mils is the healthy bladder size of an adult human. So like a third of a litre. Which is like a can, like a can of coke is 133 mils, right? Yes. So that would be the average person. Yes. Yeah, I mean make sure you're drinking water though not just cans of coke.

Just a PSA. Well, you said how many litres, so that's a bit of a giveaway that it's shockingly more. Okay, what about like a two litre? Like the same as a two litre milk bottle. I'm going to say he's rocking a four litre tank. A four litre tank. Well, you've both fallen well short.

11 litres was his bladder. Where does that sit in him? So it filled up like the gap. They just thought he had a belly, but not a huge belly, but just a belly. But it was his bladder. They believe it was related to his diabetes.

He'd had diabetes for about 20 years. He'd had a spinal cord injury, which they believe was affecting, like he wasn't getting any pain, no pain to it. And they said if he'd had like a completely uninjured spinal cord,

he would have felt it. Right. But yeah, apparently he would just get full of wheeze. And then when it got full, he'd wee and it would just wee and wee and wee and wee and wee for ages. And it was like, well, you know, they did tell me when it got full, he had wee and it was just wee and wee and wee and wee and wee for ages and he was like, well, you know, they did tell me when I got diabetes that it would affect my urinating.

Wow. But he had 11 litres on board. That's like an internal camelback. He could actually say, I retain water, that's why. Yeah, water retention. I'm all water retention. Oh my God, imagine if you were Phil to the brim. You would be 11 kgs heavier than usual.

Yeah. Because, you know, sometimes your weight fluctuates so much during the day with water. That would be so much. And also, imagine like tipping out one and a half buckets, like, you know, dollar buckets of water, but through a tiny urethra. Teeny, tiny hole. Yeah. Slow draining.

Teeny, tiny. Imagine the sloshing. Imagine the sloshing. Imagine the sloshing you'd make walking around. Do you reckon you'd have to do a mid-pee flush so that the toilet doesn't, like... Like, have you ever used a toilet in America? The water level's already, like, right up to just under your balls. Yes.

Sometimes you get a little dip. Well, most people don't have the sag that you do. He's got very elastic balls. It was probably a danger for this guy because he was 80 and you have the scrotal elasticity of an 80-year-old. So that is a problem. That's private information. Don't share the elasticity problems I have worn, please.

There's photos of them online. There's photos if you search hard enough. So today's fact of the day is there's a condition called giant urinary bladder syndrome and one man's bladder got up to 11 litres capacity. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- we fight over jelly. Jelly flavours. Yeah. I'm just looking up jelly.

Now, are we only counting jellies in the very New Zealand Greggs jelly range? Or the certain... No, because I... Carwen and I were just saying we love a Weight Watchers jelly, even though I'm not doing Weight Watchers. There's no sugar.

I was wondering if you were going to be willing to admit that on air. I kind of set up the Greggs thing because I wanted you to come in and sound like a mum and say, no, I just love my Weight Watchers jelly. Well, you know, like the Greggs jelly is just sugar crystals and flavour, right?

And gelatin. Who cares? So all the flavours, what are they? I'll start with my favourite. I'd always go a raspberry, a blackcurrant or a lime. Those are the only jellies I'll do. Okay, I'm on board with the lime. I didn't think I was going to be amongst

company with my choices lime jelly because I love a lime, lemon lime. I'll do a lemon. My only problem with the orange jelly, which I think would be a good jelly. My mum used to use it for her famous carrot jelly mould that was actually like a savoury that you had with the main course

rather than a pudding you had later. Oh, that's weird. It was one of those 80s, maybe like in the 80s when jellies became like a big option for salads. Jelly flavour is very similar to lolly flavours. I'll never touch the orange or the yellow. Right, in this case, lemon and orange. Yeah, so why bother?

What about strawberry? You're a strawberry. Oh, nah. Blueberry? Nah. Blueberry? Nah. See, I'd rather a blueberry than a blackberry.

I don't like a blackberry. Oh, no, blackberry. No, they're the key. So what are you doing? Is your top lime? What are your top? My top is lime. My second is blueberry jelly.

Just because I feel like it was a late comer to the jelly party for me. I don't know if it didn't exist when I was a kid and then it came around or we just didn't get it. But I remember the first time I tasted it, I thought, you, my friend, are a revelation. Right. And then I'll probably go either strawberry or raspberry for my last one. Yeah, raspberry. Probably raspberry. Right. And then I'll probably go either strawberry or raspberry for my last one. Yeah, raspberry. Probably raspberry.

You also use raspberry jelly to make lamingtons. That's how you soak the... Now, Carl Wayne, do you class yourself as a vegan or a vegetarian? A vegetarian. Okay. Right. Because you know that

jelly has gelatin, right? And you also eat lollies, which have gelatin. Yes, I do. Which are ground up whole horses. Is that right? Or their feet or something? Oh, hoofs. That's hoofs.

Yeah, it's hoofs. But they're not using them anyway. They're dead. So we might as well make use of the hoofs. Exactly. How many horses do they need for lollies? Like, I eat so many lollies. Yeah, it's in all lollies.

Yeah, okay. So you're a convenient vegetarian. No. What are your favourite jellies? You're on me with the Weight Watchers. You're with me. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But lime always first, then raspberry. And now I've just discovered that blueberry jelly exists. I'm going to put that as a number three. But you've never tried it. Yeah, but I like blueberry flavoured things. Okay, did they have jelly in South Africa, Jared? Yeah, yeah, there was. Okay, what are your

favourite flavours? I only eat the red ones, so raspberry and strawberry. Okay, so it doesn't matter what they taste like, as long as they're red. It has to be red. Yeah. Okay, so it doesn't matter what they taste like as long as they're red. It has to be red. Yeah. Okay, but would you go raspberry would be your number one? I'd say raspberry number one, strawberry number two,

and then raspberry number three. Okay, yeah, I see what you've done there. Okay, so if we had to, for final rankings, would we be going raspberry, lime? Strawberry. Strawberry. I feel like that was the general consensus

from the team also I found someone messaged in saying it's not hooves so I've done a quick google what is it

it's often rumoured that jello is made from horse or cow hooves it's incorrect the hooves are made of keratin a protein which

can't be made into gelatin instead gelatin and I think this will put Carween's mind at ease when it comes to eating lollies as a vegetarian, it is actually produced by boiling the connective tissues,

bones, and skin of animals, usually cows and pigs. Okay, right, that didn't put her mind at ease. She's now got her hands in her face. That's got to be better. Her face in her hands. Yeah, anyway, she's shocked, Bourne, she's shocked. I better. Her face and her hands. Yeah, anyway. Her face and her hands. She's shocked, Vaughn, and she's shocked. I thought they would have put her mind at ease, but

it's not, has it? It hasn't done that. Okay, well there's your final ranking. Well, all hail the Raspberry Jelly. Yes. King of the Jelly.