ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 10th May 2022

Episode Date: May 9, 2022

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The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Grab any size McCafe coffee for only $4. Conditions apply. Big day for me after this. I've got four appointments.

Ending, headlining my day of appointments is the dentist. You go, I haven't gone for my checkup. Yeah, because I do the plan where you get two hygienist appointments and one checkup a year. But I reckon they just make things up. Probably. And I haven't,

but I don't think, it's been a while because of COVID. Yeah, right. I think I missed mine and then I, you know, couldn't get an appointment for ages because they're so backed up. I don't think there's anywhere left in my mouth for fillings. I think I'm mine And then I couldn't get an appointment for ages Because they're so backed up I don't think there's anywhere left in my mouth for fillings

I think I'm all fillings I'm all fillings Yeah you can get a silver tongue That'll look quite cute Get it dipped Long time listeners to the show will know Vaughan you still haven't been to the dentist In how many years

Last time I went was in 2010. So 12 years. Coming up 12. In 2012. No, 2010. You got a temporary filling. Oh, yes, that's right. Temporary crown.

And you're still using that to this day. Correct. Well, it's temporary. What are you afraid of? Because I don't like going to the dentist. The money. How much it's going to cost. Oh, my God.

What? You broke? No. I don't like going to the dentist The money, how much it's going to cost Oh my god, what? You broke? No, but I'm always like Alright, when we've done that I've got to start saving for the dentist But then something else pops up It doesn't cost that much No, it is going to cost you a lot

The tooth with the temporary crown on it Does have a certain shade of grey to it But it doesn't smell No, you don't have bad breath I do regularly check with Sade. I'm like, you've got to let me know if this rank old tooth starts smelling. Oh God.

Does that get her in the mood? Yeah, yeah. Tell me about your rank old tooth again. Give us a sniff then. I was reading that because of obviously the cost of living. People are actually, when they do need, and they're faced with all these dentistry bills, they're now weighing up, now that the borders are open,

the Thailand, Bali kind of dental trips. Oh, totally. All you want to do when you're in Thailand is eat some satay sticks off the street and have a pina colada. You don't want to be out of action with a sore mouth. Or dribbly. Stuck in a hotel. Yeah, I see a lot.

I was reading something about people going to the dentist now And foregoing Injections because you pay more To get the injections You don't pay that like what $100 For an injection Yeah but $100 is a lot these days But you need that because you know if they put enough of it

And you can't feel it And then do they give you a little Could I get it a doggy bag? Is that like you need three injections and they'll say well can you give me one and a half and I'll take one and a half home in a doggy bag? Yeah, for a rainy day. Yeah, and then just go to sleep. Pump it into the arm.

Sleepy arm. You've already got us a problem with the sleepy arm. Because I've been a tradie lately, pulling down the shed which you'll hear, this sort of scoffing's not very supportive With this new career I'm undertaking You're a cowboy I am a cowboy

What do they call them? A bush A bush lawyer If someone's got their opinions on the law And they think they know it But they're not really They're a bush lawyer I'm a bush tradie

You're going to end up on fair go one day Because you ripped some lady off Because you said you'd build her a ceiling That's not as bad as if you were having a sniff of the panties I was going to say that And a sniff of the panties But You're a born famous panty sniffer

My own genuinely Just to see if they're right to wear For another day But whenever I do Like last time I did A lot of hole digging When I was putting a fence in And now I've just been like

Bashing the shed down And pulling things apart I get like a numb arm. Yeah, that'll be it. That's Apple Tunnel? Diagnose this. No, because it's up here. I can feel it when I poke it.

Sounds like you've got a pinched nerve there. Poke the product around here. You get the massage gun? Get the massage gun on him. Yeah, I might get the massage gun. You need Dr. Wynn. I'm going to go back to Dr. Wynn. Get some acupuncture in the arm.

He won't remember Vaughn. No, he won't. I'll reintroduce you. Because Dr. Wynn loves Hayley. I'll say, I'm only here because of Hayley. And then he'll be like, oh, Hayley. And I'll be like, who told Hayley about Dr. Wynn? And he'll say, oh, some magnificent person.

And I'll be like, you're looking at him, you son of a bitch. No, I want you to go to Dr. Wynn and then I want to see how much he charges you because Hayley Sproul gets a little discount these days. Does she still get a discount? She still does, yeah. Oh, wow. Influencer. What a price.

Influencer. Suck it. Thanks Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleach, Fawn and Hayley. Three minutes past six. Hayley just lost her phone. I pinged it off my Apple Watch and it was literally right in front of me. Oh no, I also slept in for the first time. I know. That was... One of those days today. Yeah, a frazzled start. I look a little bit like a raisin because I just had to leave the house,

so I put no effort in. And now I know how you guys feel every morning. And you still beat Vaughn. I still beat Vaughn, slapped on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans and didn't do anything to my face I know how you guys feel every morning. And you still beat Vaughn. I still beat Vaughn, slapped on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans and didn't do anything to my face. That's what I do every morning. I had an hour's more sleep.

What have I been doing this whole time? Exactly, don't rush it. What are you doing? No, it stressed me. This is just going to prove. It stressed me to the point where I can't find my phone when it's literally nearly in my hand. Right in front of you, yeah.

Anyway, we're here. Never fear. Never fear. I'd say it's an all-over shambles this morning, isn't it? Our coffee shot is coming up before 7 this morning. Chance for you to win cash, all thanks to McCafe.

We did well yesterday. We did well, yeah. We've got to take shots of the ping pong balls into the different size McCafe coffee cups and your chance to win cash. What did we give away? $350? No, $400. $400? Yeah. $350. It was $350,

wasn't it? It was $250. It was two $150s and a $50. Did I get $50? You got $50. I thought I got $100. I'm expecting more from you today. Yeah. I'm so embarrassed. We'll practice our shots. Your chance to win soon on the show. What's next? What do you say, Anna? What's the first thing we're talking about?

Can I just say, Anna's not on mic, but there's something about her today. She looks absolutely stunning. Stop it. I mean, she's done something new. Carween, what has she done to her hair there? She's just put her hair up in a little claw clip. Oh, yep. Do you think I could do that?

Maybe. It's these cats she's got. These foster kittens. Next on the show, what Vaughan's square face says about him. Yeah. You've got a list of what your face says about you. What your face says about you. What shape is mine?

I don't have a square face. Oblong. No. Heart. Oval. No, your heart says about you. What shape is mine? I don't have a square face. Oblong. No, oval. No, your heart. Oval. Because you've got a nice chin. But it's... No, that's like...

That comes to a point. It's like Bert of Bert and Ernie. No, I'm an egg through and through. I'm as wide at the bottom as I am at the top, and it's quite long and round. I reckon you'd be a double yoker if we cracked you open. Oh, absolutely. I'm rocking two yolks. It's a high compliment. Yeah, you've got

double egg in there. Alright, well, what your face shape says about you next on the show. ZM? Oh, I missed the button. Jeez. Oh my god, this is gonna be absolute. That was meant to sound shit hot and it sounded shit shit. Camilla Cabello, Ed Sheeran, that is a catchy song, Bam Bam.

You bloody love it, don't you? So I do. Every morning he's getting his salsa on. Yeah. It grew on me. Getting his ass moving. A lot. Well, I'm always taken back to the time that Camilla Cabello was all over me in studio. Yeah. It grew on me. Getting his hips moving. A lot.

Well, I'm always taken back to the time that Kamea Kabeo was all over me in studio. She was only sitting next to you because everybody else hated her in that band. And that's why she had to sit next to you. Oh, yeah. What was the band? Fourth Harmony. Well, it was Fourth Harmony when she left. Yeah, now it's Fourth Harmony. God, imagine if they get down to a two-part harmony.

Oh, it wouldn't work. Why are you not sitting in your usual place? I've snuck around a couple of times. You've snuck around. I don't like it. I'm into it. It's more engaging. Because now I can see both of you in one gaze without having to turn my head.

Just my eyes move. It's very engaging. I don't like it. No. What if we both sort of cuddle up in the corner here and we face you? We meet you and we just

real fletched like we're divorce attorneys and we're trying to screw a client out of custody and such. We love that. Sure. Okay, I'm trying to just

before I get into this work out what our face shapes are. I just googled that. I'm definitely an oval. So this is somebody's done research as to what your face shape means for you.

Yes, in particular two, the two most common, which is square or rectangle included in, you know. So they don't do oval, they do rectangle. So rectangle is more, so I'm oval and then I've got quite a, and I'm being really brave admitting this on air, quite a soft jawline. Do I have a soft jawline? No, you've got, you can cut cheese with that thing. Thank you.

But I'm. But you've got a chin. Yeah, you do. You've got a chin. Yeah, but it's sort of soft. Some people don't have a chin. There's a bit of skin that connects the end of the chin to the neck and it's soft.

Have you seen the Jack Harlow meme where it's like about what a beard can do for you? The power of the beard. He's just got this real soft chin. Yeah, he's got like a rubbery face. Has the beard and everyone's like okay, now he's hot. So I would say you are heart, Fletch, because

you've got a chiselled chin that meets at the bottom whereas I would say that you're more rectangle. Because I'm looking at a 2019 article from Cosmo. Beyonce's the egg. Yeah. Kourtney Kardashian's the heart. Yes.

And Demi Lovato's the square, and it's a very unflattering photo of her. I would imagine if she saw this, she'd be like, ouch. Yeah, Demi Lovato's definitely square, whereas I think you're more rectangle. So you've got that square jaw, but you've got a longer head. Okay, so what can people listening choose then? What are the options? You can have rectangle or square, which sort of the jaw is wide at the bottom. Okay.

But square would be you've got more of a shorter head, rectangle longer. Oval, like me, or round, meaning more, again, a shorter version of the oval. Heart, like sort of meeting to a point. And diamond, which makes no sense. I think you've got a big forehead maybe. Big forehead, pointy chin. This article, they use Anna Kendrick as an example of the diamond,

like a slight face but then like a very, not a pointy long chin, but the jawline of the square but more of the petite setup. Yeah. Right. So this study, it got all these face types and then got people to rate them on like their perception of those faces. So you just look at a face and be like, that looks like a kind of aggressive person.

So what it came down to was people with square faces such as Vaughan Smith in the room, rather than the oval and heart, that is us, are considered the world's most beautiful people. Oh, wow. Hello. However, at the same time... How lucky for us to be working with such

a beautiful person. It's hard. It's distracting. Both in face shape and personality. Yes. I'm a triple threat. Yeah. Whereas. It's distracting. Both in face shape and personality. Yes. I'm a triple threat. Yeah. Whereas people with oval faces, such as myself, are seen as not as strong. Weak. You know? Yeah.

Little weakies. Yeah, right. But also people with square faces, such as Vaughan, are perceived as being, having a higher rate of aggression. Oh, okay. So you're a hot, angry boy. I'm a hot temper, yeah.

And actually in the summary of this study, nothing about the heart, nothing about the heart-shaped face. People don't care about you. It's all about the round and the squares. Very forgettable. So you fall somewhere in the middle, I guess. Even the other faces? Yeah.

Oh, okay. But as we get older, apparently our faces change. So older women, their faces, as we age, they become more square. Okay. And we become more aggressive as we get older, I guess. And then the men, it goes the other way. You soften up. So this chiseled jawline

is doing nothing for me nah yeah what a waste of jaw it's like nothing what a waste of jaw you should have some bread or something

get rid of it soften it up a bit and join me on the oval side fill out maybe you need to get that operation to fill out like your temples and like just thicken

the forehead a little bit. So you want to thicken the forehead and thicken the jaw and the temple implants. Yeah. Okay. And then go a bit squarer.

Go a bit squarer and then you'll be hotter and yet more aggressive. Right. Who knew? Who knew? Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley.

But I've got a warning for you now, Hayley, because I know that you're looking at holidaying in Bali. I am. Like a lot of Kiwis wanting to spread their wings soon. Yes, absolutely.

Well, a influencer, a Russian woman, is in Bali because, you know, tourism started. I've seen friends from Aussie go there and it still looks a bit dead. Yeah, very quiet. So it's me. She's facing up to six years behind bars because it's a very strict country.

You forget about that. Yeah, I suppose it is. When you go to Bali, it's always full of loose Aussies, you know. A lot of blind eyes turn because of the tourism support of the economy, but they will only be pushed so far. What's the main? Oh, Hinduism is their sort of primary religion. Which, yeah, like that doesn't align with the sort of party life

when you think of Bali. Well, a Russian influencer, 18,000 followers, she posted a nude. 18,000? Yeah. A lot more than that. She posted a,

would you call that tasteless? A tasteless nude? Tasteless. Tasteful. Tasteful. Tasteful. So what you're saying is she's covering the nips and the bits. Yeah.

So against a tree, which turns out to be an old sacred tree. Oh, no, babe. And some locals, I'm guessing she tagged in the location or hashtag the tree. Hashtag the tree. And some locals, very upset, were calling for people to out her. And local authorities were called. Immigration found her residence. Because I'm guessing you put that on your form when you come to the country.

They tracked her down and she is facing six years behind bars. And a fine of up to $100,000. Will she have to go into a Barley-nese prison? Like Chappelle Corby? Yeah Probably Because I've heard they're not that good No, they're pretty rough, aren't they?

But yeah, apparently This is terrible The post has since been deleted But yeah I had a full shoot booked At that train, you know You were taking your ring light and everything, right? I was taking my ring light

And yeah, I was going to get a spray tan before I left. I've been toning up. So I said photo shoot. Update, she's been deported. She hasn't been jailed. Well, that's a better option. I wasn't Googling to see if I could find the photo. No, I promise I wasn't.

I promise I wasn't, but she's been deported. Apparently they took her to the tree fully clothed to apologise. To the tree? To the to apologise. To the tree? To the tree. What did the tree say? There's no comment in the news report about what the tree said. Was the apology accepted?

He said, the tree said, I am Groot. Oh yeah, we get the tree on the phone? Thanks for rubbing your nips on me. Yeah, I reckon the tree would have liked it. Probably, yeah. You've been stuck in the ground for that long? God, everyone's going up to it.

Yeah, it'd be nice to see it. All the time. Asking it for things. Singing and touching. Rubbing and praying. And I've also been told they can't go back to Bali for six months. Who's going twice in six months? Australians who do fly-in fly-out in Perth and live in the mines?

People that live in the mines, that's how they spend their weekends in Perth. From the yummy ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hi there. Yesterday, during a chat with the AM show, the Prime Minister, who is currently working from home due to her partner testing positive for COVID-19, was interrupted in an adorable fashion

by her daughter, Niamh. I've got the audio here of the interruption. Oh, okay. You have to do both. There's the old Zoom issue. Hi, Niamh. I thought I had it totally covered. I've got some TV parenting.

I had snacks, but it just proves got some TV parenting. I had snacks. But it just proves it doesn't matter what you do. She wants it to be chased. Apparently she tries to chase her in the room with a banana. With a banana, yeah. That's just, hey, hey, hey, that's just parent work-life balance, man. Yeah, that's parent work-life balance. That's what working from home has been like for everybody with children.

So I've got the top six shenanigans Niamh will get up to while Jac's what working from home has been like for everybody. With children. So I've got the top six shenanigans Niamh will get up to while Jacinda is working from home. Because she's isolated, she'll have to do the seven-day isolation period unless she, in fact, tests positive, then it'll be seven days from her. Then she'll regret putting those rules in. Yeah, maybe she'll change them.

She'll quickly change them. Like that time she changed the rules for her wedding. Yes, she did. She changed it primarily for her wedding. For her own selfish purposes. That's right. And then she got married and then changed the rules back. And married a criminal as well.

This guy is insane. He's on home detention. Again, we will reiterate that we're being very sarcastic. Dripping with sarcasm there. I'll let the top six shenanigans never get up to old Jacinda's working from home. Number six, through a hilarious game of tapping on the keyboard pretending to be mummy, she'll declare war on Yemen. Oh, no.

Yemen? Yemen won't see it coming. They'll be like, what? We're at war with... How will we war them? We'll email. We'll start it with an email. Oh, okay, yeah, right. Nasty emails do start wars. Yeah, like that.

She'll just be tapping, it'll open up Yemen. Are they going to send over a Hercules and drop some supplies on them? Maybe. Accidentally. Depends on what keys she hits. Accidentally, yeah. And then they'll just open it up and she just will have like banged something and then that translates to it's war.

It's war. In Yemenese. Oh, goodness. And then we're in big trouble. Number five on the list of the top six shenanigans and they ever get up to while Jacinda's working from home. Somehow during a hilarious incident of when mum's in the toilet, she'll answer mum's phone and solve the drug problem in New Zealand.

Oh, okay. How well? The cracky, the peas. Peas, peas, hang them all. Beg your pardon? You heard me. Number four on the list of the top six shenanigans Niamh will get up to while Jacinda's working from home.

She'll be busting out her art set and she will draw the ultimate design for a cheap, easy-to-build house that will solve the housing crisis. Oh, okay. Who knew they were round? Yurts. Igloos. Yeah. I mean, yurts, igloos,

these are designs from very old cultures. Yeah, indeed. Well, there's some pretty amazing 3D-printed houses that they're making overseas. Dome them up. Don't mention the size of the printer, though. Well, there's some pretty amazing 3D printed houses that they're making overseas. Dome them up. Not even the size of the printer, though. It'd be ginormous. You get halfway through and you need to pop down to Paper Plus

to get another bloody printer cartridge. You're out of red. Well, I guess it's a blue house for us. Number three on the list of the top six shenanigans Niamh will get up to while Jacinda's working from home. Kickstarter trade agreement with South America that sees nothing but butter and milk out, hotties and empanadas in. Oh, yeah, nice.

Great deal for us. Yeah. Who doesn't love an empanada? Oh, they're great. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Number two on the list of the top six shenanigans Niamh will get up to while Jacinda's working from home. Cure COVID with her My First Chemistry set.

Brilliant. Maybe whether or not she invents a sort of a antiviral situation or perfects the vaccine. I don't know if baking soda is going to cure COVID. Baking soda and vinegar. Baking soda can cure

everything. Baking soda does so much. They're a great team. And number one on the list of the top six shenanigans Niamh will get up to while Jacinda's working from home. Accidentally halts CO2 emissions by using her Technic Lego set to invent a perpetual motion

machine. Absolutely. Making fossil fuels and our reliance on them redundant completely. Niamh! She's like a little Tony Stark. That's incredible. Engineering brain at home there, working out and solving all the world's problems.

That is today's top six. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. It's his garden expert. Landscaper? Who knows. Has compiled a list of the stuff in your backyard that's most likely to cause a row between you and your neighbours.

Okay. Any guesses at what some of those things may be? I'll tell you if they're on the list. Noisy things. Yappy little dog. Yappy little dog is on the list indeed. A dance tent? They're saying persistent barking causes a lot of offence.

Don't leave your pet unattended. And if you're bothered by a yapping dog, discuss it with the owner. Yeah, we had a bit of a yappy situation. But more of like they'd go out and they'd tie their dog up and then the dog would just howl. Like, it would be sad. So we thought about... Baiting a steak with poison?

No, oh my God, no. We thought about undoing it and hanging out with it for the afternoon. Oh, okay. Taking it for a walk and stuff. But then it'll get you, it'll want that all the time, so it'll keep howling. Yeah. Hot tubs are a nuisance. People, neighbours hate hot tubs.

Noisy bubbling and lots of parties, chatter from the users. Oh yeah, I've got friends that have put in a spa bath and they put it right up against the neighbour's wall. Yeah. And they got really shitty. Oh, and imagine so because it hums and buzzes and vibrates. And they talk. But it's on their property, so whatever.

Always in there clinking your glasses and having a romantic time. Yeah. Who knows what happens in a hot tub? Yeah. That's up to your imagination. Trampolines is topping the list. But is that noisy kids more so than Noisy kids bouncing up on the trampoline

But also the fact that they can like bounce And a lot of people put their trampolines across Along a fence line And then the kids can look into your property That's good stuff You're just trying to have a little nudie sunbathe And you just see these eyes like hey What's your name?

My name's Sam What are you having for lunch? Nice nuggers. Billowing smoke from a barbecue? I know that, yeah, well, not a problem where I live, but I know there's people on like the barbecue page on Facebook, the barbecue alliance, that are like, oh, yeah, here's my complaint from the neighbour's complaint to the council.

Got a smoker on the guy. Can they do? Oh, right. But then, so that would be people smoking as opposed to just having a quick barbecue. Oh, having a quick gas. Slap it on the gas and you're not at all nice. Like, yeah, your low and slows, your charcoal barbecue.

Yeah, so this is what they're saying. If you know that your neighbours are home, the polite thing to do is let them know that you're going to put the smoker on because they might have washing out and then their washing smells like delicious smoky brisket. I don't know if I'd be mad putting on a T-shirt for the day knowing it smells like delicious smoky meat.

Imagine if you were a vegetarian and your neighbour was smoking half a bloody pig in their smoker, and you're trying to sit out the back having a, I don't know, block of tofu or something, and you've just got the waft of a cooking pig. What do you, Carwen, what do you? Is it what you snack on? Have you sat in the sun in the afternoon? What do you eat?

Do you just have a carrot or something? Yeah, a piece of celery. Yeah, just have a gnawer on it. Yuck. What do you have? You must have a bit of peanut butter in the celery. Maybe if I'm feeling adventurous. Yeah, okay. Otherwise just plain celery. What are you having? You must have a bit of peanut butter in the celery? Maybe if I'm feeling adventurous. Yeah, otherwise just plain celery.

What are you eating right now? I feel I've caught you in the middle of a... Overnight hours. No. Granola, yogurt and Fijas. Oh, yeah, good. Living. Okay.

Need a bit of pork in there, I reckon. Really spice it up. A bit of sausage. I respect your choice. Those are the top of the list. The smoky barbecues, yappy dogs, hot tubs and the trampolines. Little bouncing kids. Our neighbours got the same neighbour with the

yappy dog. Got a trampoline as well. Are they alright? Right. These are the new neighbours. The recent neighbours. New to me. We're new. They were here before us. So you chose to move into the place of the trampoline next door. Yeah.

Do you know what I was thinking? Because we've got the pool table in our garage and we always have the garage door up when we're playing pool. Do you reckon that's an annoying noise? Clack. What time? How late have you gone? I don't think the pool noise would carry. Nah.

Okay, that's good to know. Unless it's like 11 at night and you're hearing like hooting and hollering and balls. Yeah, what about the noise of Aaron going, ah, fuff. That would happen. Constantly. Yeah, yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little pole. Silly silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Well, today's silly little pole

about something we do in the shower. Or don't do. Wee-wees. Or most of us do. Wee-wees. Wee-wees in the shower. A lot of people have, ever since we've started Silly Little Pole,

have suggested this, have messaged in, you should do this for Silly Little Pole. It's because they want to validate their own experience. They want to make sure that what they're doing is normal. I've peed in the shower since I was born. Yeah, that is today's question. Do you pee in the shower? I remember being told off when I was a kid.

Yeah, but that was a bath. Don't pee in the shower. No, it was don't pee in the shower. And then I always remember as a kid, Madonna went on David Letterman and talked about how she peed in the shower and it was like this massive taboo. Everyone was like, we can't believe Madonna's

talked about urinating on television. Oh, wow. Now at bloody 6.53 on a Tuesday, we're just, yeah, we talk about it. Go on, just a side note, I did check up on Madonna last night, just on social media. Why? I don't know, I was worried about her. It's the last of mine.

And I think I'm justified in my concern. I think she needs to be put into a conservatorship. It feels she's heading in that direction. Best of luck to you, Madonna. I know you're a huge fan of the show. Listen to the podcast. We asked, to be honest, do you pee in the shower? And a resounding

83% of people said, yeah, sure, I pee in the shower. Leaving 17% of people saying, nah, yuck. It's just the water, eh? What, are you going to get out? Yeah. Lisa Marie says, not when you have a wet floor. So that's where your shower is... One with

the floor. One with the floor, but tilted towards the plug. I've got that. I'll wear on the floor. I mean, it your shower is. One with the floor. One with the floor but tilted towards the plug. I've got that. I'll wee on the floor. I mean it all, yeah, you do it early on. I mean you don't. You wee towards the plug. Yeah, you don't, but you don't wee right at the end of a shower and then turn the shower off. Oh no! No, no, no. It's get in. It's water on, get in,

wee. The water makes me want to wee immediately. Same. So I will immediately wee pointing it at the plug hole. Well, I can't aim as well, so I just let it do its thing. Genuine question, do you stand over the plug hole? No. No, I don't pop a squat over the plug hole. Not pop a squat, but just stand in the vicinity of the plug hole.

No, because our plug hole is in the middle of, we've just got a small shower box, middle of the box, but I'm more towards the shower head. Does it all just run down the inside of the legs? Absolutely, but they're not washing my legs.

No, no, totally, but I just never thought about it. Yeah, yeah. If you're not popping a squat, you're going to get it all down the sides of your legs. Oh yeah, because yours is sort of directional.

Yeah, just kind of very directional. Whereas mine's just down the legs. Yeah. Fantastic. Just pee freely down the legs. Taylor says, if you say you don't pee in the shower, you're lying. As soon as your body hits the water, you've got to pee.

Couldn't agree more. Busting. Couldn't agree more. It's like when you're playing hide and seek and you find a great hiding spot. The minute you're in there, you need a wee. I'd love to talk to someone that gets out of the shower constantly to use the bathroom and then get back in the shower. Yeah, and you drip all over the floor.

Then you're prone to slip and maybe hit your head. Yeah. Rather than just having a wee down the legs. Just having a wee down the legs. Megan said, I used to wee in the shower because I thought I was being an eco-warrior, saving water and all that. Then a pelvic floor therapist on TikTok said it makes your brain bladder associate the sound of running water with peeing.

So I stopped. Don't believe a pelvic floor therapist on TikTok. No. No. No. That's ridiculous. What are your credentials? Also, I just think running water makes everybody pee.

Yeah. It's just how it is. It's like people saying, oh, Vaughn, you go wheeze eight times in a movie. I said, yeah, because I drank

eight litres of bloody frozen coke before I got in here. Yeah. I'm not going to put myself in pain to train my bladder to hold more wheeze. litres of bloody frozen coke before I got in here. I'm not going to put myself in pain to train my blade a whole more wheeze. Amy says it's just an efficient use of time and saves water. Yeah, it does.

Yeah, absolutely. You pee, then you wash. So why not, says Angela. Yeah. Josh says, I am genuinely grossed out by how many people apparently do this. Josh. Wow, Josh. What a prude, eh?

Yeah. What a prude. Especially because it just goes straight down for a guy. It's not like just out. Well, yeah. Georgia says it just doesn't make sense not to pee in the shower. Yeah. Couldn't agree more. What if you've got one of those like eco tank things where the water gets recycled?

Yeah. Yeah, but you can pee on your plants. And it's the water gets recycled. Yeah. Yeah, but you can pee on your plants. And it's so insanely diluted. Yeah, right. No, I just wondered. I didn't, yeah.

But where would it go? What would it do? Wash your dishes with your urine. That always uses clean water. No, because it'll get your garden.

So it'll actually be good for your garden. Great for the marties. Yeah. Saves having to go out afterwards like me and pee all over your garden as well.

Yeah, and if you've got a grey water system it would probably just go to the same place anyway, right? Yeah. Yeah. Saves having to go out afterwards like me and pee all over your garden as well. Yeah, and if you've got a grey water system, it would probably just go to the same place anyway, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So there you go. Kills the bacteria on your feet and saves water all. Those are some text messages we've just got in.

I don't know if it does kill the bacteria on your feet. I suppose you pee on a wound. That's what Madonna said, right? It cures athlete's foot. It kills the fungus because of the pH. I'm more offended that Madonna was talking about her fungi feet. Also, Madonna's Madonna. She can afford a fungal cream.

Yeah, she can. You're not in the wilderness needing to cure your fungal foot. She loves a thick woolen sock in winter, our Madonna, and it means her feet sweat. Jeepers. And so she's more prone to a fungal infection. Good to know she doesn't use jandals at the public swimming pool either.

Oh, yeah. No, because of the wee. Somebody asked if their doctor told them to wee in the shower when they were travelling to kill the bugs in the scummy hostel showers. Hostel showers. Are you talking about like public shared showers? I'd still probably rock a jandal in there. Yeah.

I'd probably rock away as well. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. NZ Herald's new podcast, The Front Page, is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to The Front Page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts Headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts.

Play ZM. Sounds. You can do some ASMR. Sounds. We're about to try to identify sounds. Don't hurry me. Don't wave your arms like a little bitch. I'm taking my time and I'm setting theatre of the mind.

Sounds, this was doing the rounds, an article where the sounds were playing, you'd have to work out what the sound was because oftentimes these sounds are around all the time, but when they're by themselves, you're like, what's that from? Where did that come from? I know I know that but I can't put my finger on it.

Is there a word for like the famous Netflix jingle? There's a word. No, but I think it's like where it becomes synonymous you make that sound synonymous with the company and I think there's a name

like a marketing name? No, there's a name for when a product becomes, the brand name becomes synonymous. Like Glad Wrap. Yes. Or Sellotape. It's not a sticky tape, but it's... I remember learning this when I said Glad Wrap

on the season one of the Great Kiwi Bake Off. They're like, you can't say Glad Wrap. I was like, it's Glad Wrap. And they're like, it's cling film. And I was like, since when? I think that's probably even trademarked. It's probably lunch wrap.

Yeah, yeah, plastic. Plastic. Thin plastic. Dolphin choker. Yeah, blowhole stuffers. It's a turtle, it's a turtle tears. Has anyone got a roll

of blowhole stuffer? I need to wrap up this meat to keep it fresh in the fridge. I know what you're trying to find a way for. Is that what it's called, generification? I don't know if there's a sound. I don't know if there's a sound. I mean, it's every marketer's dream, right?

You invent a brand and then you've got the visual, you've got a logo people wouldn't recognise anywhere. You've got a sound that people would recognise anywhere. The smell. Big red barn is the warehouse, that kind of thing. Yeah, you see a giant orange shed. It's a Mitre 10. The smell. Big red barn is the warehouse, that kind of thing. Yeah, you see a giant orange shed. It's a Mitre 10. The smell of Peter Alexander.

What? Peter Alexander pyjamas has a smell. What? Oh, my God. But there's. The gals. No, the smell. They spray them, don't they?

Because the whole shop smells like a certain type of scent. Harley Davidson trademarked the sound of a Harley Davidson. So you couldn't make a motorbike that made a sound similar to a Harley Davidson Really? How do you try to avoid There was one It was a car company that made the sound of their doors shutting It was like a real posh car company that said You can't make your car doors shut and sound like ours

Piece of crap So it's like the dream of your brand Engage all the senses. So this has been doing the round online. People are having to identify famous, well-known sounds. And you've found a whole lot. And you're going to test us now. So you can play along at home.

Yeah. Are you ready? I'm ready. Windows XP. Windows. Windows. Easy. Yeah, Windows.

Box 40. I. Windows. Easy. Yeah, Windows. Fox 40. I've marched to this. Can you just find the float version of this? Oh, my God. The recorded version. Matt Mulholland. It is so good. I don't think Matt did the...

I don't know if it's Matt. He did the candle... He did Titanic. Titanic. I thought he did the 20th Century Fox as well. This is a classic. This is the funniest thing ever in the world. This bit.

Just beautiful. I must have heard that a hundred times and it still makes me laugh. It is so funny. Every time. Okay, here's another sound. Nokia. Easy. Okay. Disney. Easy. Okay. Disney.

Disney. It's the one with that flying down the river in the castle and the stars across the top. Easy. Yeah. Oh, Skype. Yeah. God, it's been a while.

It has. Netflix. Netflix. Yeah. God, it's been a while. It has. Netflix. Easy. Sexy Times. I don't know that one. Try it again. Bung. What on earth is that?

I'm lost. We used the Jareds. It had a couple in one more time. Do you know what it is? Nah, never heard it. It's the down lighter handbag. No, it's not. No, it's not. It's got a click in it though.

No. No, it's not. I've got no idea. God, what is it? Jared, Producer Jared. Wow, that was genuinely not me acting. That's Pornhub. Oh, what?

I didn't know that Pornhub had a... A little sting at the start of the... So I'm told. That's Pornhub too. What is that one? Messenger. MSN Messenger? Yes.

Oh, my childhood. Yeah, getting home from school. Oh, God, I feel really triggered by that. Oh, the click of the, texting clicks. Yep. Classic. Classic. Oh, my God.

And then you'd be like, mum, turn your clicks off. No, that's how I know I've hit the button. Can't you see the letter pop up? Yes, but it sounds as well. Okay, last one. Do you know this one? HBO. Yeah.

So the only one we didn't get was Pornhub I'm disgusted I'm disgusted of myself I'm embarrassed You do typically tend to start on mute Just in case Volume right down So I often miss that bit

I'm fast forwarding Kissing, what are you kissing? What are we talking for? Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Well, it started last night on TVNZ2 at 7.30. Lego Masters New Zealand, and it was bloody good. And joining us on the phone, the man that masters the Lego Masters, Dye Henwood. Good morning.

Hey, how are you all? You like to notch. I wish I could go back, I would say. He is the ringmaster to the Lego Masters. I hold all these adult Lego Masters together

and sort of connect them with our Canadian brickmaster. I'm definitely the ringmaster. We met Robin, the Canadian brickmaster, didn't we, on Have You Been Paying Attention last week?

What a guy. What a lovely man. I was so stoked because I've spent ages with him and I just knew that I wanted everyone else to meet him. And he's just got such a good vibe, eh? What's his title? 001. He is the LCP 001, the LEGO Certified Professional.

So he doesn't like work for Lego. He's been authorised by Lego to take the bricks and spread them around the world. As a master of Lego. Wow. Yeah, he's deep in the pocket. Elbow, elbow. You name it, he can put it together.

How many Lego bricks do you need to make this show? Because do you just have piles of them on standby? Yeah, so there's like two and a half million, I think, in the actual brick pit at any one time. I think there's somewhere around 200,000. Oh, my God. What poor intern had to count those, eh?

Oh, there's five. There's five. And we keep them in a little warehouse. Yeah. So they don't, because, you know, these people at Thought Lego are special people. Like, you want to keep them by themselves because otherwise they just start colour coding all your business.

Yeah, they do. I'm looking at the contestants and there are some pairs. There's a father-daughter duo, some mums, a married couple. God, me and Aaron wouldn't survive. Lego friends, flatmates. Hey, so I've been thinking about this, right? Out of you guys, do you reckon you could build Lego for like 16 hours with your dad under pressure?

No, no, no. Were you both trying to do a really good idea and get something out? I reckon I would have lasted maybe a couple of hours. Yeah, I would have until I would have got so frustrated with my father. Of anybody in my family, I think I'd last longest with my dad. My wife and I would be like throwing handfuls of Lego bricks at each other within 10 minutes. Shoving little flat discs down each other's throats probably.

I think the best thing I love about this show is Lego's such a positive vibe. Everyone sort of loves Lego. It's just colourful. You play with the Lego bricks, you get into it. So everyone I've bumped into on the street

has just been so excited about the show. And considering some of the atrocities I've put in on television over the last 15 years, it is just a joy, joy to be part of such a positive show. Exciting and positive show. Yeah, well, it's every Monday and Tuesday on TVNZ2, 7.30 if you miss it. You missed last night's, maybe.

You can catch it on demand. Di Henwood, thank you so much for chatting to us this morning. Hey, thanks, and a heads up, tonight is actually, I think, my favourite episode of the season. Oh! Okay. Starting with a bang, I love that. So saddle up, especially if you're a cricket fan.

Good little tease there. Dying with good little tease. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. You know what irks me? I was trying to do a very simple task, wasn't I? Yeah. And for some reason it wouldn't let me do it online, but I'm flying to Melbourne soon to do

Have You Been Paying Attention Australia over there on the panel yeah that's a big deal over there that's a big thank you very much for acknowledging

what a big deal it is it's a big deal not like here it's a bit like you know you can get tickets in any time can't you

for your show it's more of like the host thing like I've got this guy Tom wow phenomenal brings a lot to it

wow it's an illustrious show over there. The panel's probably at the same stream. I said to Hayley, that's when I'm going. I'd love to go and see the show. And that's when you both told me that there's like a six month wait list. No, no, no. Three years. Yes. And it will be even longer now because

they haven't got... Because during COVID lockdowns and stuff. They had no audience. They had no audience. Three years to go. That's a pretty big deal. Have you been paying attention? People have waited three years to see Hayley Sproul

say jokes on Australian television. They wait three years and you turn up. I know, pretty disappointing to be fair. Don't sit in Sam Pang's seat. No, I tell you what, I wouldn't dream of it. Anyway, so I tried to book. I was like, let's try to sit together and we can have a little bit of a tipple on the plan, perhaps, on the way over.

And I couldn't do it online for some reason. It was blanked out. So I called to see if I could talk to someone to get my seat changed. And then it did that thing that I hate, which is, in a few words, please describe how we can help you today. My bank does that. This is the first time I'd seen Air New Zealand with this system. I've been in America before and tried to call a call centre

and it was all fully automated with robots and you say things. But then I said, booking assistance. Yeah. And then they said, where would you like to travel to? And it's like, girl, I've already got flights. I'm going to Australia. Maybe you should have said seat selection. You always said the wrong thing.

Have they got a system that understands our accent? In New Zealand, you would imagine Air New Zealand would. But even Siri or like, you know, on your phone when you put it to Australian. I like to say Siri's name because you're going to pop off on all of our devices. They're getting way better though. They're getting better. But are they at the, would, you know, call centre systems be at the level of Siri? Yeah, well, it's like every time you apologise to someone, you're like, I'm so sorry. And then Siri pops up and it's like, I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you were saying.

I missed that. But then I've had this before where, like, you go onto a website, say like a banking thing, and then it's like, chat to one of our bots. And you're like, this is beyond a bot. I've got a bigger issue than this. So then you ring and then it says, in a few words, please describe how we can help you. And then you say it. And then they say,

did you know that you can chat to someone online? And you're like, I've just been there. See, well, you had this the other day with your bank. Oh, because my credit cards got blocked. I was trying to buy my niece something, like a voucher online, and it must have been suspicious activity, so I blocked all my credit cards, and I tried to call the bank, and it was like, because I went online to try to solve the problem.

I couldn't find the answer, so I was like, ugh, reluctantly. God, imagine if I had to go into a branch. Oh, my God, I can't imagine you in there. Listen to this is what my mum would say. You'd be bloody lucky to find one, let alone have it be open. Old people really gripe on banks. Well, they shouldn't live in the middle of nowhere. It's all on the line now. Yeah, it's all on the line. So I went online to try to solve it and then reluctantly called them and it said, I'm saying a few words how it can

help. And I said, cancelled credit cards. And they were like, would you like to open a new account? I was like,, would you like to open a new account? I was like, I would not like to open a new account. I would like to talk about my cancelled credit cards. You would like to apply for a credit card. I was like, no, but we're in the right ballpark at least now. And then I pressed the zero and got a human. Oh, because that's what I was going to say.

Is there like a cheat code for human? Usually it's like, or hold to speak to one of our representatives. Right. So you've got to wait for ages. But I often say it in a few words. And I'll say, human. Does that work? Talk to a human.

Did you know that many of our services are provided online? They know, yeah. I'm going to provide my fist service to your face. Well, I know that Air New Zealand are hiring more people because they've had so many calls. They've had so many. Oh my God, three hours and we called at like 5.30 in the morning. But never fear.

The end of the story is positive. We have got a seat next to each other and we will be enjoying delicious free beverages. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. In the UK, a election was exactly after votes were counted. Oh, someone's like, oh, it's the same. Recount, the same. Oh.

Complete draw. Independent adjudicators, the same. They recounted, They have to recount. Yeah. Oh, wow. And then there's some real old written on parchment with a feather dipped in ink rule that says if it is a drawer, it's decided with a coin toss.

Oh, that's got to gut you if you call the wrong heads or tails. On something like a local body election. Is that what it is? So what, just for your local MP or councillor? The Monmouthshire County Council. Oh, that's not worth all the money to do a re-election. I know, but it is still important who's going to represent you, which is chosen by a little heads or tails.

Always tails. Tails always wins. They finished with exactly 679 votes each, and it came down to a coin toss. What was it? Heads or tails? Ooh. Tails always wins.

Miss Nicholson guessed heads on the coin toss, but the result came out to be tails in favour of the Tory candidate. Tails always wins. A tense moment in the election room has been captured on camera, and there's the coin toss, which looks to be done in some local community hall and they've put down a couple of crash pads. God, I can't believe that. As it lies.

Wouldn't you rather throw it back to the people and be like, does anyone want to change their vote? Is anyone entirely sure? Yeah. Did someone not vote? Or get a room of odd number of people, seven, and then the candidates have to pitch it one more time. Yeah, it's much easier.

A coin's easier. Or they could have done a joust. Gee, sure. Or a battle, you know. Or a fisty. If the rule's that old, it could have been a joust. Yeah, it could have been a joust. Yeah, slap with a glove and then a joust or a sword fight.

I find it so strange that we still use coin tosses in these like extreme circumstances, like cricket games, like big cricket games. Yeah. You'll use it or like basketball. Especially when it's because it's the most easy to, the most palatable 50-50, right? Well, it's just chance, isn't it?

It's not bias in any way. Yeah. Unless you could somehow work out exactly how fast to flick your thumb from your finger at exactly what height. No. The velocity. Exactly the right height. But even then, you're pretty sure it pulls it up.

It's the umpire that's flicking it. Yeah. So you couldn't tell. Yeah, we could chuck up a fiver. Match fixing. Five? What's five bucks going to do here? Five dollars.

Can you sell something prettier if we're going to call tails today? But it's normally like sports games chosen with a heads or tails. Yeah, or who's like, you're having a couple's holiday, who's getting the king bed and who's getting the two singles? Oh, like when you get to an Airbnb and it's a, oh, I know. Couple of singles and you're like, I'm in the singles, aren't I? Or like dinner, if there's two options and, you know, both sound delicious,

toss a coin. Beef or fish? Yeah. Toss a coin. Should we do this to three? Yeah. And that's how you know. That's the thing, right?

That's what they would say if it comes to a coin toss and you try, just before you try to bargain with the coin, you've already made your decision so you don't need to toss the coin.

He's saying, please land on beef. Yeah. I'm going to do that again. And then that tells you you did have a favourite all along. Yeah. But we want to ask the question this morning, has there been something big that has been decided with Heads or Tails? Yeah, what did you win or lose?

The biggest decision you left to chance. Like breaking up with someone. Wow. I mean, if you're tossing a coin, to chance. Like breaking up with someone. Wow. I mean, if you're tossing a coin, you probably should be breaking up with someone. What about like moving? I might move. Oh yeah, move somewhere. Shall I move?

Is there anybody listening that has like put something big in a coin toss? I had a couple of friends, two actors that made a theatre show called Should I Stay or Should I Go? And they let their audience decide whether they lived in New Zealand or England. What happened? It was kind of a coin toss. So they had to, the whole show was them debating. She was British, he's a Kiwi, where do we live? And they pitched their kind of thing.

It was a really beautiful show. They tell the story of their relationship and at the end they leave it up to the chance of the audience. So they only did one show? Five shows and at the end of it they calculated the votes. And where only did one show? Five shows and at the end of it they calculated the votes. And where did they move? England. Amazing, eh?

And they still live there? They live in Newcastle, eh? Yeah, crazy, yeah. Wow. But it's the same kind of thing. Like, what did you leave up to chance? Yeah. Totally out of your hands.

Totally, completely random. Something huge. Yeah, maybe you're debating something with your partner you can't choose. You're deadlocked. Maybe you can't choose. She'll deadlock. Maybe you have a baby. Or just like which town should we, city should we move to? Yeah. Heads or tails? A big financial

decision? Oh yeah. Anything. Buy this house? Heads or tails? Or keep looking, yeah. Heads or tails. Alright, so 0800 Darls at M is the number. Text us 9696. What big high stakes coin toss have you been part of? 13 minutes away from a, well, a local council election in the UK

was decided after it was votes evenly split by a coin toss. And so we're asking what big life decisions have you been involved with with a coin toss? God, it just makes me so nervous. A 50-50 thing where you can't like, you can't beat it. You can't win by being better. I feel like we're really speaking to the indecisive people this morning. Yeah.

You know, like. Who then often will be, yeah, a coin toss and then it lands on one of them and they go, I'll go the other way. Yeah, because they know you're in you like you said you know what you want yeah if you're second

guessing the coin someone said my boyfriend and I were officially together for two weeks two weeks when we decided that long distance

was too hard so we flipped a coin to decide who was moving to who I lost the flip and moved from Wellington from Auckland

to Wellington a year ago we still have the coin and we call it our lucky coin. Oh, that's nice. Wellington, though, beautiful city. Can't beat it. Can't beat it. On a good day.

Got married to someone. Got married after dating someone for two weeks. So this is like there seems to be some sort of magic two-week mark where coins start getting tossed. Married after dating someone for two weeks on a coin toss. Got divorced a few years later as I discovered he had a bit of a gambling problem. Go figure. That was a giveaway with the coin toss.

A bit of a red flag there early in the piece. My parents flipped the coin to decide the order of my first and middle names because they both wanted the same names but in a different order. So the coin toss happened to see who got to pick which one went first and which one went second. If you were Sarah Jane or Jane Sarah. Yeah. It's amazing.

People are leading it all to a coin toss. Talking about your high-stakes coin tosses, a local election in the UK has decided after it was evenly split by a coin toss, it is blowing my mind how many people are making big life decisions with a coin toss. He's just giving it back to the universe, isn't it? Just giving it back

for the world to decide. Yeah. We were looking, we're looking at a patisserie course. To make pastries. Pastries. Yeah, for my daughter,

the options were Wellington, Massey, and Palmy. Wellington's very good. Or Auckland. We thought really hard about Wellington, made the suggestion to the options were Wellington, Massey and Palmy. Wellington's very good. Or Auckland. We thought really hard about Wellington, made the suggestion to the family as a preference. So my parents sold their Auckland house and bought Unseen in Wellington

and away they went. Where was the coin toss? Why didn't you just send the kid to Wellington? The coin toss where they were going to go. Oh, jeepers. I'd be like, get out of the house. You want to get out of the house and finally make some croissants. And mum and dad are like, we're coming too.

You're like, but get on there, chocolat. You can see why they went, though, all the free pastry. Very good pastry school down there, Le Cordon Bleu. Is it? Yeah, it's number one. I had no idea it was number one for pastry schools. Very fancy. Oh, okay.

One night on the beers, me and my mates, this is a paper scissors rock. Oh, okay. You know, the other, me and my mates, this is a paper scissors rock. Oh, okay. You know, the other great decider. The freeway. Yeah. Unless you know how people think, and then you can work out what they're going to do for paper scissors rock. Oh, he's always paper.

You've got to get into their head. He's always rock. Now, you always go rock first. If you're always paper, then I'm losing. He always goes paper. That's why I come out with the scissors. I'm like, yes. Okay.

Then I'll go to a rock. Yeah, but I would rock you. So you'll lose, you'll lose, lose. Yeah, no, but this is just one night. Everybody loses in a three-way paper scissors rock. Yeah. So we paper scissors rocked to see who would get shot in the back of the leg with a crossbow.

Luck was on my side that night. Poor mate ended up in hospital with an arrow sticking out of his leg. Now, there's a few problems with this. A, you could have killed him. Someone could definitely have died because there's some big main veins down there. What the hell? Two, that's a hospital that had to prioritise seeing you and somebody else had to wait or mistreatment entirely.

Please tell me there's a video of this. I thought you were going to say shot in the back of the leg with like a BB gun. Yeah. Or like a stun gun or something. A crossbow. And I'm assuming a hunting one.

Famously quite powerful. A crossbow? Yeah. Powerful thing. Very scary. Yeah, you're not messing around with a crossbow. Yeah.

Anonymous, what was he? High stakes coin toss. Oh my God, I can. Anonymous, what was the high stakes coin toss? Oh, my God. I can't believe I'm going to say this on the radio. Woo-hoo. We had a few children, and a good 10 years later, we became pregnant with a surprise one,

and we didn't know what we were going to do. Oh, my Lordy. I mean, there would have been a lot of parents in this position. They're like, wow, we've got a couple. Yeah. Yeah. It was a good idea. So it landed on heads, I see.

It landed on heads. And I think when we were going into it, we knew what we wanted the outcome to be. And so I think you're right. I think it was just a really hard call financially, life-wise. Yeah. It was just really hard. And in a way, it kind of gave us the sense of, yeah, this is what life's bringing us.

So we're going to thank it. Thank you. That's so cool. Amazing. Anonymous, thank you so much for sharing. Sarah, what was the coin toss deciding for you? Well, I was about 17 and my parents couldn't decide

whether to move to Australia or not. We wanted to stay. They wanted to go. So we're having a family discussion and they decided to flip a coin. Kids, we stayed in New Zealand. Tales, we moved. And we stayed in New Zealand. We're still here now. Oh, my goodness. I would have just like, you said you were 17.

Did you have younger siblings or were you the last? Yeah, so I was out with a younger sibling and I didn't want to move. And, yeah, so my parents just really don't like making decisions. Oh, my gosh. See, I just would have waited one more year and been like, you're all on your own. Ta-ta. Mum and Dad are off to Australia. Bye. Yeah. Sarah's such a big decision. I just would have waited one more year and been like, you're all on your own. Ta-ta. Mum and dad are off to Australia. Bye.

Yeah. See you. Bye. Sarah, thanks for your call. Some other text messages and some about moving. I couldn't decide to move to Australia or just be content in Auckland. In this June, I'll be off to Australia. Wow.

Coin toss, best two out of three. Oh, okay. That means they doubted the first. I'd like to know what your first result was that made you go best two out of three. The coin has to be all powerful. You have to obey the coin. And if you doubt it after the first one, you've made your decision before you tossed it. Somebody said, my parents tossed the coin to decide whether to move to New Zealand or Canada.

And we came from Poland as refugees to New Zealand. Oh, wow. Yeah. Somebody else said 10 years ago, I tossed a coin to decide whether I moved to New Zealand or Canada, and we came from Poland as refugees to New Zealand. Oh, wow. Yeah, somebody else said 10 years ago I tossed a coin to decide whether I moved to New Zealand or Canada, and the coin landed on New Zealand, and I found home here. I wonder if that's family. Us and... I wonder if two members of the same family have messaged in.

Yeah, you maybe just might have doubled up there, Vaughan. Yeah. Do you think so? Yeah. Cute that they both listen. It is cute. Hey, guys. When I was an Indonesian student,

our favourite game of chance was Feast or Famine. And it was pretty much a coin toss. It was red or black at the casino. You'd put all the flat's grocery money for the week on it and you either ate really well or didn't eat at all. Now, one thing, let's just add that to the list of reasons why when you go to your GP, you need to ask them where they studied. Because I've seen things in Dunedin and I don't think those people

should be able to write you prescriptions regardless of how long they were there for Well a new hairdressing trend is on the rise and I'm not talking about a blunt fringe or a shaggy perm. I don't know what the hair trends are.

You sound like you're on trend at the moment. A lob. Yeah, go on. A lob. I rocked the lob for a while but now it's grown out and now it's just manky hair. My hairdresser's coming in this weekend.

You're going for a bit of a Rachel, aren't you? Yeah, I am rocking a bit of a Rachel. Rocking a bit of a Rachel. Today a top knot. Couldn't do anything with it. But the trend has got nothing to do with the actual hairstyle. It's the behaviour in the salon with the rise of silent salons. So before you go, you know how they might send you a reminder text like,

you've got an appointment on Saturday at three. Yep. You can, they'll ask you a question about whether you want to engage in conversation or not or whether you would like to just go hi, hi and they get to work and you can just be quiet and put your headphones in or be on your phone and not be engaged in conversation. Do people go to the hairdresser and put their headphones in? No, you could have ear pods though.

You couldn't have over the head headphones. There's a big long section at the top that you've missed. No, I suppose, I don't know if you put your headphones in. Oh, that would be a little bit rude. I might not want to talk about everything, but I also... But then some people... I'm always listening to the people next. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In the barber's chair, you're like... The goss of the salon. Yeah, listen. Because they did this on Uber, right? Yeah. You can now select... A quiet ride. A quiet ride, right? Like you can now select. A quiet ride. Quiet ride, windows down, air con or whatever.

Do they charge more for that? Because the idea with an Uber is, and you always know when you get a chatty driver, because I think ages ago we talked to an Uber driver and they said that they've got to ask you questions and be nice, right? Because that's the key to getting the five stars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, you don't want to be,

but you don't, to be silent or let someone sit in silence, you don't have to be rude. You can just be like, hi. Yeah. How are you going? Good, thanks. The key is to give short, sharp answers so they know you don't want to talk in the Uber.

Absolutely. And is that the same with a haircut? Yeah, well, they've actually, one salon in the UK has given some advice on how to ask for this. Take comfort in the fact that this request is being more popular. So when you ask and say like, hey, I'm just going to have a little bit of quiet time if you don't mind, know that you're not the only person who's going, I don't want to talk to you today. So take comfort in that. Let your confidence

dictate your communication choice. So you can call to book, choose asylum if you're comfortable voicing it. Basically just like don't go, oh sorry, is it okay after saying like, very confident. Be honest as to why. Right. Say, I'm just a bit tired.

Because a lot of people would also find pressure with the whole conversation, right? Oh my God, I would never do this. I would feel rude. Even though it's like a service that salons are offering now. So they're not, you don't, it's not about people going in more often and saying, I don't want to talk.

Salons are saying, you can give us, you can tell us that you don't want to do that and we won't push the issue. I love a goss, but I'm an extrovert. I'm getting juiced up when I talk to strangers. I don't mind a chat, but one time I went and they were talking about a 21st and some strippers and NFTs. I was like.

Any three of those? They were looking, like, look in the mirror and see my face. It looks like I'm just A thousand miles away Like this is not A conversation I Could be involved in Yeah But I feel

Like I feel pressure To talk in Situations where you Definitely don't have to Like massages Oh no no no No no no No no no

Face down Never You go And they say How's the pressure And you say Fine Even if it's too hard

Even if it's too hard You're crying Yeah It say, how's the pressure? And you say, fine. Even if it's too hard. Even if it's too hard, you're crying. Yeah. It's good. Thanks. Fine. Fine. Yeah. You just like, how's your day?

I don't know. Sometimes I feel the pressure. But your face is like, shh. Yeah, your face. I know. Your face is in the hole. I have a couple of friends that are masseuses. Yeah.

Is that the plural of a masseuse? Messiah, I believe. Messiah. I have a couple of Messiah friends. Yeah. And that the plural of a masseuse? Messiah, I believe. Messiah. I have a couple of Messiah friends. Yeah. And I've never had a massage with them. Although I want to support their business,

I'm like, I'm too close. I'm too involved in your life to not chat to you the whole time. My mother-in-law is a masseuse and I'll rock a rub and rub down. Really? Yeah. A rub and rub goes all out on this. But it's right. Oh my God, no. It's never just like, hey, as soon as I'm here, can you give me a rub and rub down. Really? Yeah. A rub and rub that goes all out on this. But it's right.

Oh my God, no. It's never just like, hey, send us on here. Can you give me a rub? It's always like, I've got this like pinched bit in the back or whatever. And she's like,

oh, I don't know what it is. And then she's like, then there. But that is a bit more talking. You know how they tuck the towel into your butt crack? She's not going to see my bum. Also like,

what if she's doing that thing on the legs and her finger just touches a ball? What if she gets the ball? She never goes that close to the ball. It can happen. Also, but hairy legs are very grippy. You don't slip on these bad boys. It's like a castrative.

Is your mother-in-law not giving you complimentary oil? Oil. Or just doing a hard rub? No, no, she'll do a complimentary oil, but even oiled up, these are a grippy situation. Oh, no. It's like friends that are beauty therapists, and they're like, I'll do you Brazilians.

Get out of my flat. Get out. Get out of my flat. Get out. Get out of there. We're not doing that. That's a no. It's a no. It's a no. Okay, well, don't be afraid to ask your hairdresser

for the silent treatment. It's a trend. It's on trend. Yeah. Next on the show, you've got a... It would be a bit weird to find it. Sorry, it would be a bit weird to find it because my hairdresser is a friend.

She's at your house. And you're like, welcome. Imagine if I like poured us a wine and then said, Shari, a bit of silence please. Every now and then catch each other's eyes in the mirror. Does she do it in front of a mirror? No. That's the other thing I've always wondered about like hairdressers and stuff.

Why do they need the mirror? Why do you need to see it happening? I don't know. Because she doesn't use a mirror because we just hang out in the kitchen. Yeah. That's dangerous if you're not liking the haircut. It's too late. It is too late. And then you look and you go, hello.

And then you're like, whoa, stop. Hold on. What have you done here? Yeah. I don't like it. It's too late then because the scissors have already been through. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. So we're renovating our house at the moment. Scissors has already been through.

So we're renovating our house at the moment. And while we're waiting for things like jib to enter the country. No, we make it here. Oh, well, to enter my household. Yeah, yeah. And other things to enter the country. It's the raw materials. Yeah.

Yeah, something. I don't know. But we have. Can you try to asbestos as a building alternative? Yeah, I've put in a huge order. Yes, nice. Harding. Nice. Russia, of course, produces that, so you can't go wrong.

It's a carcinogenic from a country that we're all putting trade sanctions against. Yeah, she's put a sanction against it, though. Yeah. Now I can't get my boom in asbestos. Thanks, Auntie Cindy. Now, I should be allowed to line my house with whatever I damn well see fit. The nanny state government won't let me line my

house with asbestos. Is she looking out for me? Has she seen its fireproof ability? It's beautifully sound acoustic too so when I'm screaming at the six o'clock news because of the next stupid decision the government's made, my neighbours won't hear me. What about cork? We can get some cork on the walls.

Oh, no. People did that in the 80s. Wildly flammable. Put that in my old villa, a bit of cork on the walls. Yeah, and your house doesn't burn down. It just melts. It just absolutely crumbles into plastic. Anyway, so because we're waiting for the inside,

we've started on the outside a little bit. We had a fence falling over, a massive tree that Vaughan Smith Tree Services held for us. I love cutting down trees. But of course, when he cut down the tree, we also sort of busted the fence. So we had some fence work. You missed that bit out. No, no, the fence was taken down.

We missed it. And Jasmine, I believe, that wild ropey Jasmine. It was everywhere. It was killing everything in sight. So we've hired some local landscapers to come and help us out with this because, of course, Aaron's broken his foot. Everyone's busy. So they've been at our house, I reckon, maybe 10 days in total at this point.

Yeah. Doing a myriad of things. I saw they had a digger and they smoothed out the land. Yeah, they had a bobcat there. We've had all sorts. And at any one time, there's three people there and then they'll bring in other people to come and do the biggest stuff. Not once have they come inside and used the toilet.

Oh, well, as the show's tradie, I'm more than happy to step up and speak on behalf of the trades. You're an embarrassment to tradies. A collective trade union of sorts. You hit your funny bone Yesterday while you were Tearing down your A bit of corrugated iron Got in my funny bone

And I just bumped it Like right in there Right in there You've been ripping down Your shit and every day You come to it You're like I'm well sore

I'm sore Dead arm I keep waking up With an absolutely numb arm I was taking you A few days as well Get the job done There's nothing wrong

With the speed And I've got a Mitre 10 trade shirt And they don't give those to everybody. So I believe you just buy something, and they just hand them out for free. Yeah, but to buy it, what have you got to have? A trade account. And who do they give trade accounts to? Tradies such as yours.

No, we've got a trade account. Truly, now, if you'll just let me speak. Unbelievable. And not civilian-splain things to me. We, we, we, we, we, we, we, wherever. We, we, we, we, we, we, we. So they definitely. Unbelievable. And not civilian-splained things to me. Drinking. Succulent. Have you had one of her limes yet? Ten days, no, I haven't. Oh my God, I haven't brought you in any limes. No. We're elbow deep in limes. Well, that'd be good for the lime trees, but ten days.

They're definitely urinating in your backyard. I mean, in my past experience of tradies, and I've had a lot, they often need to... Just one more time, how many tradies have you had? A lot. They often need to do other things in the toilet. No, but I think they do that when they go to wherever they go for lunch and get their pie and V.

And blue V. Oh, yeah, the local cafe. That hits them. Well, the 500ml monster will tear straight through you. That's what I mean. And they do. They've got their drinks here and there. I'm like, well, this is coming somewhere.

But I wonder if they've used the allocated toilet, because I too have peed numerous times in my backyard, but down the side of the shed. But when we play pool sometimes, when we play pool sometimes, it's a long property. No, it's not. Sometimes if we play pool. How far is it from your shed to your house? No more than 40 metres.

Sometimes I might just not be bothered going inside and I might just pop a little. Pop a little squat. That's what you do when you're caught short on a bushwalk or something. Do you know what? Because it started when we were getting our house borer bombed, and we weren't allowed to go inside the house. And I came home from work, and Aaron was like,

well, go play some pool. And I was like, I'm busting a wheeze. You can't go in. So I popped down the side of the shed and went for a wee-wee-ess a number of times. So I think now that I'm in the shed playing pool, and I can't be bothered going inside... That is so grim. It's going inside. That is so grim.

It's not grim. That is so grim. It's just weeds in the garden. Well, then don't complain that the tradies are doing it. No, she's not complaining. No, I'm just curious. You're curious as to where the weeds are standing. I'm worried about them,

that they're not getting enough hydration. Well, have you offered your toilet? Well, the door is often open. Some people are a bit weird, aren't they, with letting tradies into their house. Or other people use their toilet. It's like, who cares? It's often open. Some people are a bit weird, aren't they, with letting tradies into their house. Or other people use their toilet. It's like, who cares? It's a toilet. Just use it. Oh my god, come on in. I mean, don't destroy it, ideally.

Yeah, as long as there's a respect. Which I'm sure there would be. And we've got one of those like, mashes. What are they called? A macerator. That if the toilet gets too blocked up with all sorts of alarm sounds and the whole neighbourhood knows that you've done a big boost. that if the toilet gets too blocked up with all sorts of alarms sounds and the whole neighbourhood knows that you've done it.

It chews it up because you live in an old neighbourhood. Yes. That rapidly expanded. Yeah. So they've got the old sewage pipes, which are a little bit smaller, so it chews everything up and then shoots it in. Oh, like a blender. Yeah, like we've got a Nutribullet in our backyard.

With an alarm. Strictly for your bowel movements. Nobody needs that. Yeah. Okay, well, maybe chat to them today and offer them the... Well, they know where the outdoor toilet is. It's down the side of the garage. I've Christianed it and named it such.

I'm on the lime tree. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day comes to us from a Scandinavian lad called Bjorn Karman Okay Of course he's called Bjorn Bjorn, yeah, B-J-O with a line through it.

Yep. R-N. Karman. Bjorn. Bjorn Karman. And he has started a project called Occlusion Grotesque. Mm-hmm. And this Occlusion Grotesque is the typeface that a tree grew.

What? So if you think of font, the Helveticas, your Times New Romans, your Areals. Areals or Areals? Areola. Areola. It's Areola.

Areola. That's one of my favourite fonts. Very round. Very dark font. And Tahoma. Slightly textured. Fun to play with for all of your various graphic design projects.

So this is basically what he did. He thought how interesting it would be to carve into a tree fonts and then leave the fonts for years and see how the tree changed them. They'd go longer, wouldn't they? The things people put their time to. I know. He's an artist. He's got various other things on his website,

beyondcarmen.dk. Denmark? Denmark. Yeah. This is the year zero as he carved it into the tree and five years later, the tree had sort of like, like a scar, I guess.

Yeah. Almost like a tree version. And then, so what he did is he's done the different letters over five years and he scans them once a year and at the end

he digitises the scan of the scar four years and then that becomes the representation of the font that the tree made

that's an A yeah I see okay a very blobby an A yes slowly goes over I think the F's my favourite because it's the standard

sort of like Facebook looking F the Facebook logo and then at the end of it it's like this fatty one my favourite because it's a standard sort of like Facebook looking F, the Facebook logo. And then at the end of it, it's like this fatty one. Big fatty. And it's leaning over. Big fatty. Yeah, it's good.

Slightly lean. But yeah, it's quite cool. And it's how the tree like recovers from the scarring. Yeah. And how it shapes. Oh, I like the J. And tries to seal it over. Yeah, the J sort of like joined.

It starts with the lowercase J with the dot separate to the actual body of the letter. But then over time it joins and it kind of makes this cool new font. God, nature's own font. Yeah, nature's got a font, guys. It's cool. Go Mother Nature. So he did it traditionally with just an ordinary sans serif font, a fairly easy to read one.

And over time, but now he's trying different fonts as well to see how the tree responds to different things. Like a more cursive one perhaps. Yeah, and you can buy a piece of art from him because this is an art project after all that says growth and then growth at year one, two, three, four, five.

Does Jim show that growth looks different from everybody and it might have started out clean cut and perfect. But by the end of your growth, the lines might be blurred. Might not be what you expected it was when you first started. Yeah, he'd make a lot of money off the people that buy the live, laugh, love letters for their house. Oh, he should do a live, laugh, love. He should do a live, laugh, love in a tree.

All of that. People love that. Yeah. But he's got a bunch of other projects too. He's just a very interesting art based person out of Denmark. I will follow Bjorn. It was great interest. Give Bjorn to follow. So today's fact of the day is there's

a font out there that a tree grew. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Now a YouTube family in the United States Not a huge following I think they've got 50,000 YouTube subscribers Not bad

13,000 Instagram followers They basically They're an active family. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's all just videos and posts of them being active. Just being better than you, basically, is the whole point. Yeah, large family. There's mum and dad, one, two, three, six kids. Jeez.

Five or six kids. That feels like five too many. Well, they have to be active to keep dad off mum. Yeah, God. It's been wasting their time running about outside because if Mum and Dad have got too much energy, they're going to tucker them out. They'll be a seventh.

So they are under fire because they have made the youngest in the family run a full marathon. Ish. 42 kilometres. Kilometres. 42 kilometres. They reportedly promised their struggling six-year-old

a tube of Pringles if he continued to persevere after seven gruelling hours. That's what gets my arse going through a run is like Pringles at home. Yeah. Gotta get a tube of chippies. Yeah. Gotta get a tube of chippies. Yeah. 42 kilometres is too

much energy output for a little kid. You'd be surprised, like, we slapped, what are they called? Pedometers. Yeah. On our children. Like, they got given them, I think, to encourage them to do exercise.

They do some steps. Yeah, for sure. They're just belting around all day. But they've also got a little gate. Yeah, so they have to do twice as many steps to cover the same distance as an adult. But they're not doing a marathon. It's very sporadic, like run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run.

Stop. So did the little kid have to keep up with the family? Yeah. So they ran as a no. So did the little kid have to keep up with the family? Yeah. So they ran as a pack. Yeah. They documented the whole thing and then put it up online not thinking that anybody could take umbrage with it. And yeah, they just...

How struggling was he? Like, please, stop. Well, yeah, I mean, look at him, he's tiny. Oh, my God, how old is he, six? Did they have plasters on his nips? I hope the whole family had a pack of plasters on their nips. For my half marathon days, I only eat plasters on the nips. I'd just be raw.

Oh, absolutely. Rub your raw. But yeah, they've absolutely been vilified. YouTube's saying it doesn't breach their guidelines. It's not abusive, I guess. Which isn't a surprise because there's far worse on YouTube. Oh, absolutely. But yeah, I wanted to ask the question this morning. Did your parents

force sports on you? You know, like they wanted you to be a rugby player or they wanted you to be a swimmer. And they made you do it. Yeah. My, I mean, marching's a family sport. My granddad was a coach. All my mum's sisters and my mum marched

and then she coached and stuff. But I was the opposite because I used to watch my mum's marching videos and I used to see her when she was coaching when I was like a little, little kid and want to do it. My mum was like, no way in hell. Why? You are marching.

Because it's just full on. Yeah, it's really full on. And it probably would have taken up a lot of their time as well until I was nine and I wouldn't shut up about it. And then I went. Because that would be the worst thing as a parent if your kids want to play five sports and you're constantly. Oh, my God.

And you're like, Mama wants to sit in the backyard with a wine on the weekend. And you've got to go watch some crappy game. They're really terrible. Hockey was a weeknight. Hockey was a weeknight. Tuesday nights, go along. You get takeaways on the way home. You're sorted. But now the girls are doing netball. It's Saturday. Go along. You get takeaways on the way home. You're sorted.

But now the girls are doing netball. It's Saturday. Saturday morning as well. That's Dad's weekend.

Well, you were a bit dusty at the netball this weekend, weren't you? I was a little bit. I pushed the boat out a little bit on Friday night.

You have to have a chunny on the side. Oh, how embarrassing. No, I didn't get that far. But also, looking at the other

people there, someone did. Yeah, absolutely. Someone. There was definitely some dusty folks there. The smell of bourbon on the sidelines. Yeah. Oh, someone did. Yeah, absolutely. There was definitely some dusty folks there. The smell of bourbon on the sidelines.

Yeah, someone was actually having a bourbon on the sidelines. Oh, delicious. West, west, west, west Auckland. Wild west. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe your parents made you do a big holiday hike somewhere. Or maybe you're a member of the Addams family, Valerie and the likes. No, no, the sporting Addams family.

And you didn't want to do sports, but you couldn't be an Addams that didn't sport. Oh, yeah. I think they all wanted to sport. You got Lisa, you got Stephen, you got Valerie, you got Wednesday. I think they all sport. So a YouTube family are under fire in America for forcing their six-year-old to do a full marathon. That's 42 kilometres.

Yeah, they had to bribe him with a tube of Pringles at the end. I mean, keep better snacks. Man, that's what I bribe my kids to do, just like average everyday things, to bribe them to do a marathon. It would cost me probably a horse. Yeah, a pony. So we want to know if sports were forced on you as a kid. We had some Instagram

replies. Amy said tennis was forced on me. We had a tennis court at home, so it was pretty hard to I mean, ooh! Oh, it sounds like your life was so hard. Yeah. Do you know a family that moved into a house with a tennis court and then they're just like, well, just like not tennis people,

so the tennis court just turned into like an overgrown concrete pad with cracks and grass growing up through the cracks? Emma, what was forced on you? What sports or activities? Oh, so my best friend last year made us do the Tongariro Crossing. Oh, but that's lovely though. That's a lovely one. But also it's not entry-level walk to the waterfalls. No. Oh, it's a lovely one. But also, it's not entry level

walk to the waterfalls. No, are you much of a hiker? No, so we didn't do any training. I don't go to the gym or anything. It took us eight hours. That's not bad. We were all crying. We made her carry our bags and made sure that the photos looked real

cool. Oh, I did it for the gram. You've got to do it for the gram. Yeah, do it for the gram, those beautiful blue legs. Did anybody scream at you? Crying's not going to help. The only thing that can get us out of here is walking. I know. By the end of it, we all had blisters. Some of the girls, even their toenails fell off

because the walk was so grim. I did that crossing with a couple of really slow walking friends. Keep up. You shouldn't go. But we got to the top and the clouds were covering the Blue Lake. Oh, my God. You have to do it again now. Do it again.

You've got to do it again. You've got to go back. Yeah, because nobody wants a cloudy gram. No, but if you do that, you just go on Google, you Google the lakes, and then you put that on your Instagram and be like, it was worth it. Hashtag blessed. Or just go to the geo tag your Instagram and be like, it was worth it. Hashtag blessed. Or just go to the geo tag on Instagram and find someone that looks roughly like you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. From behind maybe. Yeah, and say that's you at the Blue Lakes. Yeah, reach the peak. Yeah. Hashtag fitness. You don't even need to do your OE. No.

You can just do it all from home. Samantha, when were sports forced upon you? Yeah, I was expected to play a sport. So in high school, I decided to be a goalie for hockey. So I didn't have to run. Oh, my God. The goalie's the worst. Yeah, the balls pelted at you at a million miles an hour.

Yeah, but you've got all the padding. And I had a really good sports team. So for the first three years, I never saw the ball. Oh, okay. Good team. You see, it's not all on the goalie, is it? No, by the time you get to the goalie, is it? No, by the time it gets to the goalie,

Hayley, especially in hockey, it's been through 10 others who should have stopped it. That's what Christine used to say when we'd get angry at the goalie. Oh, yeah. Well, it got through you lot

before it got to him, so I'd be taking a look at yourselves before you blame him. How long did you keep it up for, goalie? All through high school. Oh, wow.

Okay. Good for you. Good. Did you come up with anything when you were back there kind of doing nothing you. Good. Did you come up with anything when you were back there kind of doing nothing for three years?

Did you have any great philosophical thoughts? No, I sang I'm so lonely and I asked my friend to bring a book. Oh, my God.

Oh, that's the arrogance of this team. You could read a book. You don't actually need a goalie. And when you see

it coming, you just bookmark the page, you put it down in the corner of the goal, you stand there and you're like, alright guys, stumble before it gets to me. What do you think about when your parents forced you into sports? Maybe

try to live vicariously through you becoming an All Black because they never quite made it. They saw something in you. My dad was always like, she's got long arms and she's left-handed. Get her on the tennis court. And I never did. Oh yeah, good reach. Yeah, good reach and that left hand. And the back hand.

Yeah. He just wanted you winning some of that prize money. He just wanted me out of marching probably. Yeah. So some messages in. Someone said fencing. Oh, that's. Oh, la, la.

I did ballet, tap and jazz dancing. And then my mother said she signed me up for fencing. Fencing? And said, you'll love it. What a weird, it's a weird sport, eh? Yeah. The little boops. Boop.

Yeah, because they had them in their chess pad, eh, at the Olympics. And he goes, you never see it until it's Olympics time. It's one of those sports that you forget about. And then the Olympics comes around and yeah, they're like. But the rounds are like. Dance, dance, dance. Producer Jared is saying that he's done fencing. How did you, when did you do is saying that he's done fencing. How did you...

When did you do this? I went to a private school. I went to a private school. We didn't have fencing. Fencing. I was pretty good, actually. Was that just like when you had PE? Yeah, so...

Do they call it PE now? Yeah. Yeah, for like two terms, we donned the mask and the whites and then used our foils and like... Just wefting. We'd just go to the gym and it would either be the beep test or dodgeball or something.

It was beep test, dodgeball. 12 minute run. At a private school. When we had to try to jump and see how high you could tap. Yep, yep. And then so at a private school you get to do fencing. Yeah, but then we had to do Pilates after that which was a bit Pilates! Well that would help with the fencing.

That is wild. Oh, my God. How are the other half live, eh? Not all private schools. Ours was basic as. And then at fencing. A lot of rowing, dragon boating, that kind of stuff. At the fencing, in my mind, the boys are all lined up

and there's just this mysterious fencer tearing through them and all the boys are like, who is this new boy? And then they pull off the helmet and it's a girl! We've got her long, tousled hair comes out. She shakes her hair and they're all like, ah, ooga. She's from the girls' school up the road. They don't have fencing there because it's too masculine. It's too aggressive.

Yeah, but she's come down and she wants to fence. What a great. Stacey. Stacey. Stacey the fencer. Stacey on the foils. The mysterious fencer. Mysterious fencer.

Yeah. The boys' private school. Somebody said, I would like to pose the question, what child wants to play cricket? I'd imagine every time I go past a cricket game and kids are playing cricket, it just looks like a field full of kids who are being forced out there. Yeah, some of them.

I wanted to play cricket. I love cricket. Why? What drew you to it? I don't know. I just loved it. I didn't. The fashion. Is it the fashion? It's the white fashion. The charm person's life.

The white fashion. Somebody else said... Oh, no. Okay. Rachel's on the phone. So let's just go to Rachel because I think this is her story. Rachel, good morning. Good morning, guys. How's it going? Good. What sport was forced upon you? So I did athletics when I was younger.

All of them? Or did you specialise? Look, this was just like the local kind of low-key athletics. Yes, I'm sure it was that night and then you hear beep. Everybody move to the next athletic station, please, and remember the sausage sizzles happening tonight. We're raising funds for a uniform. Thank you, everybody. That's the one.

That's the one. And then I broke my leg. But Dad still made me do the races on crutches with a car right up to my butt. Well, you had a full hobbling. Why did he make you do that? Did he think you broke your leg on purpose to get out of athletics?

No, it was just a bit of pain. It lets you know you're alive, you know? Just to win it all cost. What year would this have been? That would have been early 90s. See, there's all that stuff in the high playgrounds and parents are like, I don't make in playgrounds for wussies these days.

And you think of the amount of kids that fell and broke arms unnecessarily off playgrounds. I broke my arm twice in the playground. Yeah. But what was he expecting you to win? Yes, and I came second. With a cast on. But if you had three legs, you would have been promoted.

Yeah. Exactly. You should have actually been disqualified for those extra points. Unfair advantage. Yeah. Amazing. Rachel, thanks for your call.

Some more messages in. Somebody said, how many kids were forced into cross-country? Because they'd almost got away with it. And then the school newsletter would come out saying, next Wednesday's cross-country. But you'd already planned, you know, a couple of days leading, and then Wednesday was going to be your big sick day. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Forced into cross-country. And I just said I had my period the week before for PE. Oh, always. So I couldn't use that twice in two weeks. And they were like, you're seven. And you're like, now, well, it's happening earlier and earlier these days. And very irregularly. That's

why it's happened to me. It's all the hormones they pump into the chickens. Yeah. It's just happening. Someone said my in-laws are those people that like to go for a run on holiday. So imagine getting woken up at 7am and Rarotonga asking if you're coming for a run before the day gets too hot.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What I'm about to do is take myself down to the breakfast buffet. I know, meet you there. Yeah, and have a mimosa. Yuck, yuck. Going for a light bit of cardio. Someone said my parents forced me into running and athletics as a kid and I hated it and they thought I was really unfit. So they would push me more and more and it turns out I was

a severely undiagnosed asthmatic. Keep on going, come on. When I was a kid we took a month long holiday around Holland. That sounds alright doesn't it? That sounds lovely doesn't it? Apart from the fact that they biked the entire day. 11 years old, biking all day, then we had? That sounds lovely, doesn't it? Apart from the fact that they biked the entire day. 11 years old, biking all day.

Then we had to sleep in a youth hostel each night. It was not fun. It was not. I have fond memories now, but I do remember moaning all holiday. My parents were yelling at me in the middle of nowhere in the Netherlands. I don't know why they bother having kids. I know. They just hold you back.

Someone said, not sport, but music. Saturday morning music classes, piano lessons after school, singing in the church choir. Eye roll emoji. Yeah. School choir, school orchestra. There's only so much music a kid can do. And then what else?

Expected to do sport. See what? They saw a potential rat bag in you, so they wanted to keep you busy, I reckon. Yeah. You know, you just see some kids and you're like, rat bag. All those years of training and all it is good for is when there's a piano in a lobby, you can play A Thousand Miles.

But I am always impressed when I see that. If there's a piano sitting somewhere and someone just sits down and starts playing, I'm always captivated. Yeah. For that 10 seconds. That your parents have done. Patsy's feeling this one hard. Yeah.

Oh, my God.