ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 10th November 2022

Episode Date: November 9, 2022

The Pope  Top 6: Monkeys in Space  Silly Little Poll!  David Farrier from Mr Organ!  Lupita Nyongo from Black Panther: Wakanda Forever!Marlon Gerbes from Six60!Impossible Phoner: Did you marry a relative?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Great barista made coffee on the go. Well, you're in the presence of pastoral greatness. I'll say that much. Really?

Were you coming to work this morning thinking, I cannot wait to see Vaughan, the great... In his greatness. Yeah, the great break feeder. Yeah. The great pastoral manager that is Vaughan Allen Smith. You sent this to us in the group chat yesterday. The vet said this to you.

So yesterday we had the vet visit and do the old springtime Drench and jab And pour on And she said Look at how much Grass you've got And I said Oh I didn't think I had that much

And she said Terrible winter Because she deals With lifestyle block Farmers Yeah right Just small landowners Not real farmers

Not real farmers Not big farmers Yeah But she said Look how much grass you've got And I said I didn't think It was that great And she said Well the winter Was mild you got. I said, I didn't think it was that great.

And she said, well, the winter was mild, but it was very wet, and a lot of people were just like, feed, feed, feed. And then it got to the end of winter, and the grass wasn't growing, and it was wet, and the cows or sheep or whatever had mushed up their land, and then now they're in spring, and this is the time we should be getting all of our growth, and she said, they're not getting a lot of growth. Oh, okay. And she said, I always, when clients say, you know know if they've got fat animals and they say you need a

break feed which is where you put a fence up you just move the fence give them a little bit of day you just don't open the gate and let them go yeah uh they said um she said i always refer to you to other clients when they tell me they can't break feed on this amount of land i said well i've got a client that does and as, you're a reference. I'm a reference point. I've taken photos before, Hayley, of my fence. It also sounds like you're stingy and you're not giving your cows enough grass. Oh, there are plenty of very round cows.

Yeah, there are. Very. They're humphrey at the moment, my little man. Humpy by name. Humpy by nature. One big round hump in the middle. Yeah. Not body shaming my cow,

but when you look at him head on, his head's here and then he's got like, if you were to draw a cartoon cow, you'd draw the head and then a round body that's what he looks like. He's very cute and I loved him. Like the cow from Rocco's Modern Life. Yeah! Yeah! Fletch doesn't know what Rocco's Modern Life is. You didn't watch TV.

I don't watch TV. He didn't have a childhood. Do you think that you are because you're basically unemployed. I mean, you come to work for two hours in the morning, but you get home. Yeah, I've been getting a bit of that lately. And you're basically unemployed, so you have all this time to break feed. Whereas most people that have a lifestyle block, they're really stressed and they work hard.

They work long, hard in the city, and then they come back. They don't have time. They're basically an unemployed farmer. Pull up their socks and get it done before they go to work then. You know, this is the thing about being a land somebody. Yeah. I'm not a landowner. I like to think of it as more of

we're temporary guardians of the land. Of the galaxy. Are you on Māori land, eh? Well, I mean, technically yes. Okay, let's talk about how he's tapped your water, too. Jesus Christ. He's tapped your water underground, so he dug a hole. I didn't do that.

A big drill did. 200 metres down. I think the air, we should come around and put a water meter on your... What are you doing that for? No! Jeez, bloody three waters over here. So did you get a certificate or a badge? No, she said if there was an award for pastoral management, you would have won.

Wait, so this isn't even actually an award? No, but she then said if there was an award, I would have won. If there was an award for pastoral management, you would have won it again this year. If there was an award for... Because you've got so much time. Like he just goes and looks at his grass. He's got so much time, he just stands there and looks at it. Yeah, I know, he just sits there.

I do do a lot of thinking about when I'm walking through the grass or I see weeds. That's what Al, she said. She said, you don't have many weeds. Well, again, you're unemployed. You've got all the time to be. I said, I get out there. I take care of weeds. Yeah.

Well, you've got that tool. You bought your wife a weed tool. That plucks it out. That's for the lawn, though. That would take forever to do it in the paddock. Are you going to put this on your CV if there was an award for? Yes, pastoral management A pastoral management award

For people on three acres or less Where at least one of those acres is Lawn and house And garage And shed Boy, that guy can manage his pasture Well, a huge congratulations to you Proud of you

We really are proud No, no, I really do. I appreciate that. Thank you. I wish we had been there for the big moment when she told you. If there was an award, I would have won it. Thank you, Sam. Good morning.

Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Big show today. Big show. A lot of guests on the show today. Big show. Big show energy. Big show. A lot of guests on the show today. Big show. Big show energy. Big show energy. And? And? And a big change in the room.

You're wearing a green cardigan. To really make my teeth brushed. I've got red hair, guys. Oh! I'm a ranger now. Hadn't noticed. I'm the resi-ranger.

You are. It's very, who's the chick from Paramore? Hayley Williams. It's very Hayley Williams. While my hairdresser and friend Shari was doing my hair, we watched Paramore live concert. It's very Paramore. Not like bright red Paramore.

No, she's orange. She's like the highlight orange. She has toned it back a little bit. As we all should. It looks great though. Thanks, mate. I really like it. It looks good. It suits you.

I like it. I like it. Head over to my TikTok. I finally did a TikTok. It's my second one. Second TikTok. Popping off on TikTok. Pop off.

It's popping off. Right. Popping off on TikTok. Anyway, I think it might change my energy. Is it actually? Has it actually popped off, the TikTok? Um, I don't know. I don't really know how the app works.

I don't know where's... It's a confusing app. I thought Carl Wayne was looking after your social media. Yeah, she's doing a shit job of it too. Okay, you're playing TikTok, Saxony. I know. I know. I'm trying to close.

Like, where's... There's too much going on. Open app. The app's open. Joining us on I know. I'm trying to close. Like, where's this too much going on? Open app. The app's open. Joining us on the show before 7 o'clock this morning, David Farrier, longtime friend of the show. Yeah, I just popped up the other day on my Facebook memories that he was in studio to promote Tickled.

Yes. God, that was good. That was so good. God, that was good. That was incredible, that movie. Well, apparently this new one, Mr. Organ, not Dr. Organ, Mr. Organ, even more insane. Yeah. People who have seen it, friends that have seen it, are just like, it's hard to say it's

brilliant because it's terrible. It's so disturbing. Yeah. Yeah. It's a terrible circumstance, an amazing story. Yeah. But like a haunting story and a... Well, the movie's out around the country today, Mr. Organ, David Farrier's new

documentary. He'll join us before 7. We've also got double passes, five double passes to give away to Mr. Organ. Also joining us, speaking of movies out today... Lupita Nyong'o from Black Panther. Wakanda Forever, the sequel. You got to see this movie last week.

It's so good. It's really, really good. You might be familiar with Chadwick Boseman, who played Black Panther, passed away from cancer. Yeah. At the age of 44. Kind of didn't tell anybody. And then, yeah, just his family were like, he's passed away.

And everyone was like shocked. The Black Panther, the sequel script had already been written. So a script needed to be redone. It's like the second longest Marvel movie, but it flies by. It's awesome. We're going to be catching up with Lupita Nyong'o, who has been in everything. Around 7.25 this morning, she joins us.

And then after 8 this morning, Marlon from 660. Shivers. Joins us. Someone every hour. Someone every hour. We're running out of stuff, so we've got to keep bringing people in, you know? It's near the end of the year. Nothing left to say to each other.

Yeah, exactly. The tank's empty, isn't it? No, this is amazing, right? 660 have been making the news because Sky News in Australia had a go about their use of Te Reo Māori. When did Sky News go all right-wing Fox News? What's it got to do

with him? What's it got to do with me? This guy's in Australia. He was like, I can't understand a word on the poster. Were you going to book tickets, mate? Were you hoping to go? Shut up, dude. Well, 660 I guess hit back in a way. Yeah, they've responded so well. mate? Were you hoping to go? Shut up dude. Well 660 have

I guess hit back in a way. Yeah they've responded so well. Yeah and we're going to reveal with Marlon after 8 this morning 660's response to that. Another chance as well thanks to American Airlines 8.30 this morning to get to the US to get in the draw list and out for our boarding call. The top 6

is on the way. China sending a monkey to space. And maybe leaving it there. Now, there's multiple problems I can see with this. And we'll be dealing with that. They're building their own space station. Yeah, okay. How do you get a space station up there?

Bit by bit. Yeah, like modules. You send up the first bit. Then you send up the bathroom. Like a kit set home. Send up the kitchen. Right, right, right. Yeah. Send up the deck. Imagine putting together at home. Send up the kitchen. Send up the deck.

Imagine putting together Ikea furniture in space. Basically like that. Got the arguments with your big fingers and your suit. It's coming up the top six. Next on the show though. This will tickle you Vaughan as the resident Catholic amongst us. Oh yes, Braise B. I've got some Pope news. Fantastic.

He's a real ally, it turns out. Oh, we're happy with this Pope. The last one looked a little Satan-y. Oh, he was a bit. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Pope Francis. He's my favourite Pope.

Through him, with him, in him, in the unity of the Holy Spirit. Wow. The Catholic... It pops in every now and then. in the unity of the Holy Spirit. Wow. The Catholic church just blows me away. I love it. So Aaron's family's Catholic, right? And like Aaron grew up as a, what do they call him? Altar boy?

Teddy! Or the guy who swings the... My mum wouldn't, not because she's worried about me being fiddled, but she, I mean, that's got to be at the back of every Catholic mother's mind, right? I mean, statistically. Not so much in the 80s and 90s, though. Are you kidding me? Yeah, we didn't know, but it was definitely happening.

She just didn't want to have to get to church early. I was like, Mom, I want to swing the smoke. And she's like, ah, you have to be here early. My mum's like the worst Catholic. Right. When they were doing confirmation, and one of the things was you have to like do confession and you have to go into the little confession booth

and be like, I've done the sin of whatever. See, I'm not religious, but this would be my religion because then you just get it white day and start the week fresh. Absolutely. Oh, that'd be great. The old Catholic. The old Catholic.

It's brand white. Yeah. And my mum was like, don't do that. That's bloody. Yeah, you don't need to do that. That's true. Oh, no, Aaron loved it. I love it.

And Aaron's seen the Pope. He went to Vatican City. Which Pope? This one, Pope Francis. This one. This is the best Pope in a few times. Yeah, he is the best Pope. I mean, he's got his problems, but in terms of problematic Popes, the least.

Down the list. Yeah, Aaron went to Vatican City, and he was walking around Vatican City, and then there was massive crowds outside the Vatican, and he said, oh, my God, it'll be the day he comes out on the balcony, and he did, and he waved, Vatican City and then there was massive crowds outside the Vatican and he said, oh my God, it'll be the day he comes out on the balcony. And he did and he waved and everyone just was like, he's a rock star. Yeah, right.

Catholic mass is long and boring and I'll make no apologies for saying it. So long. If I was at the Vatican and he was doing one of those open air masses, you'd probably go just to be like, wow, look at this. It's crazy.

He wouldn't do it. Lots of other great things to do in that area. I'm just saying you're in the Vatican. Food. All right. Hey, I'm taking a piece of pie. Yeah. I'm just sitting at the back eating a spaghetti bolognese.

And every time he says something, blessed be the... Hey! Hey! He's not wrong there. He knows what he's talking about. Anyway, this Pope Francis, he has had some more, what would you call them? Progressive.

Progressive views on the homosexuals, the ladies in the workplace. And now he's come out this week saying that the female managers that the Vatican hires have done a better job than any male staff to work at the Vatican. Wow, okay. He said, I have noticed that every time a woman is given a position of responsibility in the Vatican, things improve. Feminist.

Wow, yeah. He's going to be burning bras next. He was talking about a big managerial role There's sister Raffaella Petrini Oi She sounds like she makes a better version of the garlic bread that you always bring to parties

Yeah She's a dead governor Mama Floreale or sister Raffaella Petrini That garlic bread is quality garlic bread. Oh, my God. I got a twin pack the other day. Yeah, it's good.

And we've had one of them, and it's sitting there. And yesterday I thought, should I just bang it in the micro and hoon it? Oh. But it deserves a bit of a char. It deserves an oven. It deserves an oven, and then I don't have. Yeah, so he was talking about Sister Raffaele Petrini saying, things have changed since he arrived for the better.

This is a revolution because women now know, we've always known, how to find the right way to go forward. Yeah, they knew the right way to go forward. There was just these big roadblocks called males in the way. Yeah. But he's just, I mean, he did a whole speech basically on equality, was referencing what's happening in Iran at the moment with all the protests,

you know, with that poor woman that was killed. He's a good Pope. You know, he's got a couple of rugs absolutely swept with secrets underneath them, but in terms of, you know, progressive thinking and being a modern pope. Yeah. How old is he? God, they're old.

They're always old. Did you watch the movie with Anthony Hopkins? So good. I loved that. Who played this pope? This pope? Was it called The Two Popes? And it was about the transition from old Benedict,

Eggs Benedict, to this guy. It was actually a really interesting movie. It was. Yeah, who was the young one? And he came out and he had a wife and stuff. Jonathan Pryce. Was that Zac Efron, wasn't it? Jonathan Pryce.

Oh, my God. Now I'd watch a Pope movie. Zac Efron is Pope Francis. Have you seen Zac Efron this week? He's playing a wrestler. He's playing a wrestler. And the dude is jacked. Yeah. Jacked again with this awful, awful haircut. Oh, playing a wrestler. He's jacked. Jacked again with this awful, awful haircut.

Oh, I know. But he's jacked. Minge fringe. Did you guys used to call him that? I don't know if we'd say that on the radio. Probably not on the radio. Sorry, Producer Carwin, I overstepped the line with minge fringe.

She's got no words for me. Yeah, just a little. We need a gina jar. And it's just basically, because I know there's the fanny fee. Every time you say fanny, you've got to put a little coin in it. But it just needs to be the gina jar

and any time some sort of loose, crass nickname for the female genitalia is mentioned. How did we start out talking about the Pope? Because he is a feminist. Keep me down for this chat. He's standing for the female genitalia. How did we start out talking about the Pope and end with... Because he is a feminist. Keep me down for this chat. He's standing for the vagina. Clay, Zedems, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. The life expectancy in New Zealand

82 years and 6 months. That's gone up. That's not long enough for me. Not long enough for you. I just looked up Pope Francis. He's 85. Do you know Australia beats us by a year? Why? We're way better than them. We're well ahead of the United States.

Their average life expectancy is 77 compared to like us at 82 and Australia at 83. The oldest person. Also, we're lower than Australia because we're higher on obesity rates. Yeah, we are. Like morbid obesity. But then they're below us, right? No. We're higher. We're higher than them. But aren't are. Like morbid obesity. But then they're below us, right? No.

We're higher. We're higher than them. But aren't they, they're not too far behind. They're not too far behind. They're not too far behind. It's because Australia's so big. We've all seen an old boy in it. They've got to walk everywhere.

They've got to walk everywhere. They've got to walk about. It's also the cast of Home and Away bring it up, don't they? Yeah. But we've all been on the Goldie and seen an old boy in a pair of Speedos with a big gut hanging on his shoulder. Love it. Love those boys.

So the oldest person to ever live was Jeannie Calmet, who made it to 122 years, born in 1875, living up to 1997. Wow. I don't know if that's been beaten since this article was written, but scientists have now put an age range on, because, you know, as medicine gets better, as, you know, we live longer, they've said that our body actually really only has 150 years max in it.

150? 150. 120 to 150. Because I'm sure there's someone in a small town on the continent of Asia who claims that they've lived longer than

that. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure there was someone claiming last week they were 129 or 127 years old. But they never have a birth certificate, do they? Oh, it was lost. Yes. There weren't computers then. I'm not conforming to your western ideals. I don't need a birth certificate, do they? Oh, it was lost. Yes. There weren't computers then. I'm not conforming to your Western ideals. I don't need a birth certificate.

That's right. So the oldest woman was, I don't know how to say her name. She's Japanese. Kane Tanaka. And she, I'm going to say it like she's Maori. Kane Tanaka. And she died last year, remember? And then the French woman took over from her.

Yeah. And they eat butter and they smoke darts. Yeah, drink wine. Drink wine and live a life. The Italians put a good innings in as well. Old Nonnus. Yeah, yeah, Old Nonnus. She's like, I eat fish every day.

I'm going to make a gnocchi. No, no, no, Marjorie, no. And they put a lot of that down to the family as well, just having a good close family around you. Do you know the world's oldest people are all women? Yeah, because the prostate is a time bomb. The prostate is a time bomb. I've been told by my – you look it up.

It'll get you eventually. When old boys are just like 90-something and they die in their sleep, they're always riddled with prostate cancer. Do you need a prostate? You know, like with breasts, people can get elective surgeries to remove dangerous areas. You've just got to regularly clean out the prostate. How do you do that?

Vacuum. Oh. Playing with you. It's what? No, that's true. That's true. You've got to regularly play with yourself. I know.

I'm just talking about just being this old. Like, because I saw one of those old people homes bus drive past me the other day, and I just looked in it, and I was like, they all look so, they don't even know where they are. I love it. Like, I'll just, there's no way I'm getting that old. No way in hell. I don't want to die ever.

Like, the thought of dying is awful. Because the world ends, right? But it's spoiler alert. Everybody dies. You don't know that. You don't know that. It's a fact. That and taxes.

Unless you live in Dubai. But then a apartment fire will probably get you. Yeah, you'll be quite young. Because of the cladding. Because of the cladding. It's poor cladding. It's porous as well. Terrible cladding.

So 150 is possible. Well, that's what they say is the most. Yeah's porous as well. Terrible cladding. So 150 is possible. Well, that's what they say is the most. Yeah, they used to say. What a boring. The last 75 wouldn't be worth it. No, it wouldn't be. You're not drinking. You're not.

I mean, I don't smoke, but if you smoke and you enjoy smoking, you're not smoking. You're not drinking. You're not eating like yummy foods. You're not out in the sun at all. Because if you're that old and you've been in the sun, you're not smoking, you're not drinking, you're not eating yummy foods, you're not out in the sun at all. Because if you're that old and you've been in the sun a couple of hours a day, you're going to

get skin cancer. I can't wait. When you're 150, you're far down the track of vices and sins to look to 150. I truly am. You drink way too much wine to last to 150. No, I'm slowly but surely pickling myself. Oh, right.

Okay. It's called preservation. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. From the sophisticated ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Well, China would like to send a monkey to space. They're starting their own space station, aren't they? Yeah.

What does Peter make of this? He's wild. No, sorry. Well, he's been eating pumpkins this year. The organisation. Oh, well, they're not happy about anything. You never hear them being like, great day for pigeons. I don't think they have Peter in China.

I think you'd disappear if you are. If you speak too loudly about anything. So apparently the monkeys are going up to study reproduction in space in zero gravity. Oh, okay. So what, they're going to send some horny monkeys? Well, monkeys are just horny by default. Are they? Do they never have it turn it off?

They don't fight. They can't suppress their... Urges. Urges. Yeah, right. They don't have guilt. Unlike humans. Well, no, humans can, you know,

bury it down with guilt or whatever. Yeah, true. Or headaches. Or we did it last week. Or it's not our anniversary. Or my parents are staying and they might hear us. Yeah, I've got my period. Yeah, all of these...

...situations. So... But monkeys will just... They don't care who's around. parents are staying and they might hear us. Yeah, I've got my hair aired. Yeah, all of these situations. So, but monkeys will just, they don't care who's around, they'll just get at it. So they are, they'll be up there for an extended period of time.

Wow. Okay. On their own. Well, on their own and their part. Can you trust a monkey to like,

not eat all the bananas at once? Can't trust a goddamn monkey to do anything. The top six problems with leaving a monkey in space. Number six, bananas everywhere. They don't clean up after themselves in zero gravity, so there'll just be banana skins floating everywhere. Slippery.

Slippery. Zero gravity, slippery. Would it be slippery in zero gravity, though? Bananas are always slippery. That's the rule with bananas. If Looney Tunes taught me anything, bananas are always slippery. Mario's trying to drive his cart. There's a banana in the middle of it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I saw a banana on the footpath the other day. I went, eh. I went, eh. Could have been a good art installation. Yeah. Could have been. Could have been a Banksy.

Could have been. Oh, could have been a Banksy. Could have been a Banksy. Oh, could have been. I walked past a Banksy. Could have been a Banksy. That's worth a million dollars, that banana peel. Could have been a Banksy. Oh, could have been a Banksy. Could have been a Banksy. I walked past a Banksy. Could have been a Banksy. That's worth a million dollars, that banana peel. Could have been a Banksy.

Oh, well. Who was that other guy that kept graffitiing everywhere in Auckland? Bloom. Bloom. They caught him. Oh, my God. Did you see, I drove back, when I was driving back for the Coromandel recently, there was a sign just when the Auckland Motorway starts,

and it said Bloom,way starts and it said, Bloom, massive, and it said underneath, I'm back, baby. Yeah, I forgot to tell you guys. Copycat! Bloom copycat! That's how they arrested him.

They did. But they said there could be copycats. Right, okay. Who was the Christchurch guy up on the top of the buildings? Oh, I forget. But yeah.

Shloom. Shloom. Bloom. Number five on the list of the top six problems with leaving a monkey in space. Poo-poos everywhere. Oh, yeah. And they'll haul it everywhere as well. Yeah.

But it'll be slow. Unless they have monkey nappies. That's very true. But then they'll just have poo-poo nappies. Yeah, but at least it's not going to go all over the controls. But they also can't do it if they've got nappies on. Oh, yeah, true. Put a little hole in that.

But then the wee will come out. Look, I've thought of everything. Number four on the list of the top six problems with leaving a monkey in space. They won't do their monkey tasks. Yeah. They won't, like, pull a lever or push a button or flick a switch.

Yeah. Of course, if you're on the space station, there's so much switching, flicking switches to do. Knobs and switches. Tick, tick, tick. Cranks. Tick, tick, tick.

Arr. Beep. Boop. Meep, meep, meep, meep, meep. Number three on the list of the top six problems with leaving a monkey in space, they can't open those food sachets. Oh, yeah. Those ones where you've got to go click, click, click, click, click.

Oh, yeah. Suck it out of the pouch. They'll starve. All the little buggers will starve. Number two on the list of the top six problems with leaving a monkey in space, they don't understand the delicate balance of international relations. No. You know, up in space, it's a bit of a no man's land,

but at the same time, you know, it's a fairly delicate balance of international relations up there. And number one on the list of the top six problems with leaving a monkey in space. They love smoking cigarettes too much. Monkeys have always... Could you get them on a vape? You'd probably be allowed a vape on a space station. I don't think you'd be allowed a vape on a space station.

No, it's surely set off some kind of sensor. Yeah. Oh. And would the vape disappear in space? It would because its inside would be like pressurised. I don't know. Yeah. What does a vape look in space? It would because it's inside would be like pressurized. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. What does a vape look like in zero gravity?

Great question. A sealed atmosphere in zero gravity. And would the bubblegum flavor like disappear or would it stay there? It'd stay forever. But I mean, it could smell worse. Remember, it's got monkey poos everywhere. Yeah. It'd be a relief.

It would be. Darwin. That's a great name for a monkey. Yeah. It's stolen from the. It would be. Oh, Darwin, that's a great name for a monkey. Yeah. Stolen from the Wild Thornberrys, but you know,

linked intrinsically to Charles Darwin. Oh, Darwin's on the bloody hubbub of apes again. Did you know that Fletch hasn't seen the Wild Thornberrys?

Fletch didn't have a childhood. I think he just was born. Is this right? You didn't know who Nigel Thornberry was? And I didn't play Goose Goose Dark.

I did lots of things I didn't do. Wow. Yeah. Sad, man. Sad for you. Hmm. Ha. That is today's Top 6.

Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little poe. Silly little po is a user submitted Silly Little Pole today Listener submitted I think somebody's having an argument with somebody about this very thing.

That seems to be the case. And we are more than happy to solve your arguments because we get thousands of answers for this. Oh, yeah. Let us know if you need something settled. So someone's obviously got a toasty machine. It's you. Do you clean your toasty machine after every use?

Yes, of course, or no? I use the work one every morning. The work one's a panini press, eh? Yes. Gotcha. So for the, I mean, you'd say the same thing, right? Roughly. You should be cleaning a panini press every time you use it.

Yeah, I use it every time. How? Like a wipe? Yeah, I do a paper towel. Because you can't get them wet. You can't scrub it. I remember once when I wipe. Yeah, I do a paper towel. Because you can't get them wet. You can't scrub it. I remember once when I was a kid, I made a jazz. I made like a sealed toasted sandwich, and I unplugged it from the wall and stuff.

But mum came in and I was submerging the whole thing. And she's like, no! Electrical. Totally. And she's like, and that was the day I learned if something gets wet and the water's sitting out next time you plug it in, if you're holding it in the middle part, you could die. You could die, yeah. Yeah, I could, like, get electrocuted.

You could die, yeah. Yeah, I do a paper towel wipe. A wipe. Because all it gets on it is, like, oil. But if you made it... You should keep it. I think, like cast iron, you should almost keep it oily because then things don't stick to it.

Hell yeah. I'll give it a paper towel wipe, and then it's actually easier when it's cold to, like, pick off any little crusty bits. Yeah, don't scrape it because you take off the delicious Teflon. Delicious.

Delicious Teflon. The carcinogenic Teflon. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. I wish they should blitz up some Teflon. Yeah. You could shake it onto your steak.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Teflon seasoning, absolutely. So 64% of people said yes, clean after every use, of course, and 36% said no.

Amy says yes, but only a wipe with a handy towel. What if you've got a hard cheese crusted on? Come back for a pick-off later? Come for a pick-off later. But then also it might be easier with a paper towel just to get in there when it's hot. Because I do it at work with little cheese melts. I go in hot. Yeah.

Because it moves before it crusts. With a paper towel, never a wet cloth? No, but you could I go in hot. Yeah. Because it moves before it crusts. Were the paper towel never a wet cloth? No, but you could do a wet cloth. Yeah, it'll sizzle, and then you'll also probably wipe off the oil. Again, I'll reiterate, things won't stick as much as if you remain it oiled like a good cast iron.

Martin says, if you use the flat sandwich press, put the toasty between baking paper as zero clean up. Martin. Martin. Martin. You could probably even use the paper. The paper could stay there for a few uses, couldn't it? Would the paper work in a toasty machine?

I can't see why not. It would rip it, wouldn't it? You'd just have to be careful not to get it sealed in the... Oh, yeah. If you're clamping it down, like a Jaffel situation. Yeah, it might stick in. Yeah. Gemma says, WTF? Why wouldn't you clean it when it's still hot? Paper towels work wonders., it might stick in. Yeah. Gemma says,

WTF, why wouldn't you clean it when it's still hot? Paper towels work wonders. Wipe that shit off. Boom, done, tick. Yeah, and then you're done. Gemma's totally a note writer in the kitchen by now. Absolutely. Almond says,

this is Armand, not almond. I don't know if I got it scorched almond. Yeah, you got me excited for almonds. Yeah, scorched almond season's coming up. You mean Christmas. Is there another name for it, is there? This is the time of the year where scorched almonds grow naturally on the tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Almond says, got to leave the flavor for the next one. Don't clean. Yeah, good call. Mel says, yes, but it sits out for days before I can be bothered cleaning it. So she's picking off the crust. Yeah. Crusty cheese. Yeah.

Imagine Mel and Gemma in the same house. Oh, feral man. Yeah. Oh, arguments. If by clean, you mean buy a new one. Oh. Jesus, Danielle. You get cheap ones from Kmart, lol.

No. Every time she has lunch, she's like, new one from Kmart? Yeah, the fresh one. Like Kim Kardashian only uses a towel once. Yeah. This person only uses this. Unbelievably waste once. Sheldon says, home one definitely, clean it each time.

The work van one, no. I've got one in a van. In a van. Oh, that's cool. That's cool. Tradie, I reckon. Oh, my God. Imagine having a toasty for lunch as a tradie.

That's boosh ass. Get your little cigarette lighter rewired. Yeah. Or get an inverter on there so you can power a toasted semi. God, I'd get a barista machine as well. Yeah, same. Yeah. Have a little mini fridge for my drinks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then start making coffees and toasties for the other tradies on site. Yeah, selling them. Make yourself a little lunchtime side hustle. Yeah, good stuff. And then build up such a ferocious reputation that, you know, you start making more money off that, so then you throw it in and you become a mobile food truck.

Great. Yeah, great. That's how that works. There we go. Silly little pile. Done. So overwhelmingly clean. Give it a wipe.

Just a wipe's all it needs. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. David Farrar's new movie, Mr. Organ, is out in cinemas across the country today. We've got five double passes to give away very soon. Well, that'll explain why he's in studio too. David Farrier, good morning. Oh, it's so good to be here.

I love you guys. It's great to see you. It's great to see you. When did we last see you? It's been a while. What was your last work? Oh, we talked to you for Dark Tourist, but I don't think that was in person.

Yeah, it would have been Dark Tourist. That was a while ago now. Was that the start of COVID? When did Dark Tourist come outist, but I don't think that was in person. Yeah, it would have been Dark Tourist. That was a while ago now. Was that the start of COVID? When did Dark Tourist come out? Oh, I don't know. No, Dark Tourist was like 2018, just pre-COVID. The pre-COVID world, then COVID came. Yeah.

A lot of people messaging me saying, why isn't there a Dark Tourist season two? And I'm like, have you looked at the world? How do you want me to? It's dark enough at home. Yeah. I made it interactive. Yeah, thanks. Thanks for that It's dark enough at home. Yeah. I made it interactive. Yeah, thanks.

Thanks for that. You can play at home. So Mr. Organ is your latest work, but it's been a long time in the making, isn't it? Yeah, it took, I started this process in 2016 when I started sort of stumbling into this weird clamping in Ponsonby where people would park outside this antique store and they'd come back to find a car clamp and a man demanding sometimes $750 to take the clamp off. So drama, drama, drama. So I started writing about it.

At some point, I realized it was much more to the clamper than I'd originally thought. And I was like, okay, this is my next documentary. And so I started filming. I thought it would be done in a couple of years but I kind of got sucked into this vortex of this very unusual human that I was documenting and so it actually took me five years. And so having it coming out this week, we're in like 60 cinemas around New Zealand.

I never thought that day would come. I didn't think I'd be able to finish it for a variety of reasons but it's done and I feel very happy it's out. Wow. Why do you do it to yourself? I was watching the trailer and I was like, it's classic Farrier where it starts as one thing.

Yeah, quirky. And then I'm like, uh-oh. Uh-oh, it's so much bigger than I expected. You put yourself right on the firing line of these stories. And actually in this one, as I say, you very much become involved. Yeah, I do. I know, I don't know, I get really intrigued by stories like this. And a part of me likes the drama in a way, like I like, it's interesting to me. And I'm very lucky in a way. It's either sad or lucky, where I don't have a partner or children, it's just me I need to look after. So I think if I had like a family,

I wouldn't throw myself into these situations. But because it's just me, I feel it's okay to do that. And I just like getting to the bottom of a weird mystery. It gives me such a good feeling to when someone hangs up a phone or says no or says there's no story here, that puts something off in my brain like fireworks. And I feel like I have to get the answers and that's what sort of drives me on even if it gets a bit feral but how do you find these

things like do they find you because this story I literally do I would know I I walk a lot in Auckland I don't like driving and I would walk past this antique store yeah and 11 o'clock at night there were people screaming at each other. The police would arrive. I'm like, what is happening? I don't know. Is that me finding the story or the story finding me? Yeah.

That just happens. Yeah. But I guess maybe where some people would walk on and go and do something else with their life, I'm like, why is that happening? And who is the clamper? He seems unusual. And oh, that clamper once said he was a prince.

That's weird. Is he a prince? Why is the prince clamping in Ponsonby? And that's how my brain works. And I just get sucked into this void of trying to find answers. How many times would this happen though, that you would stumble across something interesting on one of your walks and go, oh, there might be something here and go a bit further.

And then it turns out to be nothing. It's gotten better. Like my little spidey senses have gotten clearer on it all yeah and i'd say it used to be maybe 20 would work out and 80 would fall over now i think it's more like oh it's probably still about that actually i chase so many stories because i write weird stories on my newsletter as well and so it's's like, I'd say 60% work out, 40% end up being a dead end. I've gotten better at knowing

from the outset if something's a nothing. Because we only get to see the triumphs, right? We go, oh my God, how does he find this? Oh, there are so many. Yeah, no, I mean that, you know, 40% ends up being a lot of like work for nothing, but it's kind of what you have to go through. And what you do get very used to

is people coming to you with stories. They're like, this is an amazing story. It never is. It's funny what people's imagined what will make a good documentary. And look, maybe I'm wrong on this, but what people's imagined good documentaries really aren't. So I've gotten better at knowing what ideas are never going to work and what ones will.

This one, I was halfway through the film and I was like, oh no, I've completely messed up. This isn't something. And that was a horrible feeling because I was two and a half years in and I had so much shot and done and I put so much of myself into it and at one point I thought, can I finish this? And that was a real problem with this film. But then some other crazy shit happened

and I got sucked straight back in and here we are So, Tickled, who's who's your most you're like David Farrier versus the world because there was the Tickled documentary. Yeah, we had the various people involved in Tickled. We've got

the various megachurch people now they're not a big fan and they've got a lot of people. They're not happy. And Mr. Organ, there's a number of sort of people that don't like me. But what about your podcast, Flightless Bird, where you question American traditions and stuff? They're a whole nation.

That's true. They're going to be coming up to me. You know, there's a few, yeah, every week my whole job on Flightless Bird is to kind of break down, why do Americans do this? What is Thanksgiving? Why is their water level in their toilets so high? Why is it? Look, it's incredibly complex, but it's to do with the size of the pipes. But then there's other questions.

Why in American toilets are there gaps in all the stalls? So when you're sitting doing a little poo, you can look out and eyeball someone who's washing their hands. And catch just like one eyeball? All of them. when you're sitting doing a little poo. You can look out and eyeball someone that's washing their hands. So that's, look. And catch just like one eyeball. Oh, all of that. Just catch. It's all in the toilets episode of Flightless Bird.

But no, and just in doing that, I think I'm being polite, but I get some emails from some Americans that are basically like, who do you think you are? New Zealand are coming in and judging the toilet water, the level of our toilet water.

So yeah, maybe a few American enemies as well. I certainly assemble sort of, I mean, it'd be amazing to kind of get all these people together, wouldn't it? David D'Amato from Tickled and Kevin is offside. I really don't know if it would be amazing. Mr. Organ and Sean Plunkett turns up.

These plethora of people who sort of seem to dislike me. It'd be like a Suicide Squad New Zealand version or something like that. I would be greatly concerned for you. It would be something else. Well, Mr. Organ is out now. Go and check it out.

I cannot wait to see it. Absolutely terrified for you, but excited. Yeah, it's fun to watch it in a cinema with other people. It's like it's a real journey and it's funny and weird and people gasp and laugh and it's just fun to watch it with people with popcorn. Well, that's David Farrier, isn't it? Funny and weird and gasping and laughing.

And gasping in the dark. David, thank you so much for joining us. No, thank you. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Ailey. Play ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day. That was too horny.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Today's fact of the day. That was too horny. Today's fact of the day is a train travelling from west to east. Which way does the smoke blow? It doesn't because it's not a steam train. Got ya. Has he got it? No, it's not a riddle. It's a fact. This isn't a riddle of the day.

Oh, okay. Although. Although. Although we could start a riddle of the day. Oh, okay. Although. Although. Although we could start a riddle of the day. Yes. Although. There's a real, maybe it's just my bung algorithm. Karween, the social media desk, she's straddling both desks at the moment.

Yeah, she's taking up two desks. Executive producer and social media expert. Is it just my bong TikTok algorithm or is there lots of riddles on TikTok? I haven't seen a single riddle. I thought Vaughan was about to say my bong algorithm. I'm getting, oh, just hot models. Yeah, they won't leave me alone.

Get out. Scram, scram. So you've got happily married men. So you've got hot models and riddles. Hot models and little tractors and big tractors. Land rovers and riddles. And hadikos. We should do a thing.

Hadikos, yes, hadikos. We should do a phone-in topic where you ring up and tell us what appears in your algorithm. The vast differences. Mine's innocent. Yeah. It doesn't help that all the people that my daughters watch that do the dancing are hot. Oh, yeah.

And then I'm... But you don't have to follow them, Pest. I don't, Pest. I don't follow them. Yeah, this is the other thing I didn't know on TikTok. You see all this stuff and you don't follow these people. It's called a For You page. Yeah.

Yeah. FYP. All right. This is not a riddle. We've been sidetr page. Yeah. FYP. This is not a riddle. We've been sidetracked. Okay. A train travelling from west to east is lighter than a train travelling from east to west.

Boom. Is that the same for a plane or does it have to be on the ground? I know it's the same for a ship. Well, because, you know, when you fly to Melbourne, right, it's like four hours and you come back, it's like three and a half. Yeah, but that's more jet stream. But the jet stream could be related, but this is particularly related to the

Artvost effect. The Artvost. It's one of my favourite sausage gifts. It's a lovely sausage, but this is named after Loran the Artvost, who was a Hungarian physicist.

Yeah. He said if the Earth's spinning, which it is, I can confirm. Yes. From, I don't know, I had to Google which way does the Earth spin. How's it spinning if it's flat though? Like a spin top. Like a top. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The Earth spins on its axis from west to east. And he said, well, then if you're going, because you know centrifugal force, when you put water in a bucket and you spin it round, it'll stay in the bucket. But he said, if something's going the same way as the spin, technically it should be lighter than if it's going against

the spin. Right. So he did a test on a ship. He did some, took some equipment on there. Yeah. And it was, the ship was loaded with the same amount

going one way, going east to west and then back west to east. And he said it was actually lighter when it was going from west to east because it didn't have to.

Oh. It's minimal, but it was enough that, you know, it wasn't going against the earth. Nah. Is that why? It wasn't going against

the spin of the earth. So you're kind of riding the spin. And they say jet lag is better one way as well, eh? Like east to west, you don't get as much jet lag as if you're going. Because of Loran Bastvost. Well, it might be the sausage effect. You don't know. It could be the saucy effect.

Oh, I love it. A bit of kraut and diced up onions and mustard and chutney. Yeah, but one of our great minds, Hungarian physicist, little round Arthurs, and you are just belittling this man's fine work by comparing him to a sausage. He does sound like a sausage.

He's a silly sausage. He's got a few things named after him. He's got a university. Yeah, he's got a sausage. He's got an institute of geophysics in Hungary. He's got a little caravan, like a little trailer, you know, like a sort of food truck.

Yeah. At the markets every Friday night. He's got a crater on the moon. He's got a crater on the moon. Either of you smart asses have a crater on the moon? Didn't think so. Does he have a little pop-up hole in the wall in the CBD? He's got an asteroid and a mineral.

Does he have an Instagram page? No, because he died in 1919. Huh. 70-year-old man. What a great genius of our times. Not our times. You know what I mean?

Well before our times. No, no, no. Well before our times. Over 100 years ago now. But a Hungarian hero. So today's fact of the day is that a train travelling from west to east is lighter than a train travelling from east to west.

Fact of the day! Day, day, day, day! I used to think I'd be really good at the apps the dating apps but anytime I jump on my friends one I go swipe swipe swipe and then you're a match and then I go to message and I do feel a little paralyzed

I don't know what to say you're just like how do you open? Hey cutie. No. That's bad. That's gross. We're done with sup. Nobody's supping anymore. And it's hard to really convey a full wazzah.

You know, you can't. What about this would be cute. Boop. Emoji finger point. Emoji nose. Boop. That's cute. That's cute as hell. Okay, that's point, emoji nose. Boop. That's cute. That's cute as hell. Okay, that's actually cute as hell.

Jared reckons it's movie. That's cute as hell. Now, Hayley, you might not know this, but before Jared got a midi. He was on the apps. He was on the apps, and he was on the apps just as we entered our first lockdown, and he matched a world record amount of times.

How many times, Jared? 456. I know. Oh, my times. How many times, Jarrod? 456. I know. Oh, my God, how horny were you? Why are you swiping so hard? And did you have a line? What would be your first line back in the single days? I didn't really have a line.

I just had like a move and it was like you just kind of read their bio and look at their photos and try to figure out something about them from that. And say something about that. Yeah, and make your line relate to who they're presenting as. Right. You don't like Vaughn's idea of an emoji boop. That's cute as hell. No, I threw up in my mouth. That is so cute.

Okay, well, I just don't know why on Twitter we should get this on, can we get this, where's Carmel? We need this as a poll on our Instagram stories. Is this a cute AF opening line for a dating app? Boop. How are you spelling boop? B O O O

O O O P. Why zero zero? Boop. No, that's like boop. So just B-O-O-P. Yeah, like Betty Boop. Capitals or smalls? Capitals might be aggressive. I don't want them to think I'm like boop.

No, capital B, lowercase. Now do I go finger, boop, nose, or boop, finger, nose? Boop, finger, nose. Boop, finger, nose. The finger needs to be connected to the nose. Well, Producer Jared, what do you think of a woman says she's got the ultimate? Yeah, so people are blown by this.

Ahoy. Blown away, I think we said. We don't just say blown. Can I not just drop a blown? Do I have to say it? No, you've got to say blown away. I feel like the away was implied. It wasn't implied, but the away wasn't implied.

Ahoy. Ahoy like a pirate, like Boaty speak. She said, I have been saying ahoy to men on dating apps for years, and they've always responded. Oh, men would love it. Ahoy. But women could just type nonsensical letters, just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

and press send and guys would be like, what's up? Want to come around? That is what I was going to say. But it'll garner a response, she said. They're either responding like, ahoy, and then they're like,

ahoy. Ahoy. Ahoy there, matey. Or they're like, gosh, this chick's a riot. Would it work the other way around if a man was sending a woman,

ahoy? I'd be like, ah, pirate. I'd run for the hills. Yeah, right. Ahoy. People have said that they've started using it. Oh my God, ah, pirate. I'd run for the hills. Yeah, right. Ahoy. People have said that they've started using it. Oh, my God, it's working.

I'm shocked. I love Ahoy. I've used it. It works like a charm. I did this last night. It worked. He asked me out right away. Honestly, I've been doing this for the last two days.

It's amazing. Okay. Ahoy. I would love for listeners to try it. Same. Give it a whirl. If you're on a dating app right now, you're woken up. First thing you're thinking about is getting some.

Then try Ahoy. Let us know how that goes. Ahoy. Ahoy. Otherwise, try Vaughn's Boop. Can someone please try Boop and let me know how it goes? Hang on, I want to do this. I'll see what Aaron says.

Boop. Finger nose. Let's see what he replies back. All right, we'll test that out. Stay tuned. Keep us posted. Let us know which one works, if any. I'm going to get a poll up on this thing.

I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll take care of it. Next on the show, Vaughan got a visit from the council yesterday, and he's not happy. He's turned into a grumpy old mate that calls quarterback radio. I'm going to have to get this poll up before we talk about this because otherwise I'll be livid.

Three days away from Friday Jams Live. I've just checked the weather forecast. Looking great. I've got sunny icons all through the day on Sunday. If you don't have your tickets, you're a ticket master. All the details, ZM online. But also when I was getting my hair done yesterday. If you're listening and you weren't listening this morning, you're a ticket master. All the details, send them online. But also, when I was getting my hair done yesterday, if you're listening and you weren't listening this morning,

I've got red hair now. I think people can tell. You can tell. You've got big copper energy. Thank you. But my friend in hairdresser was like, oh, damn it, I didn't get tickets. You can walk in, right?

You can get door sales. You can get them on the day. Otherwise, you're a ticket master at the moment. That'll be if Auckland Council lets you. If Auckland Council lets you do anything. This red tape, this bureaucracy, this nonsense. As a rate payer, I'm livid. I was promised change with this new old mate in charge.

And you know what? I'm seeing more nanny state than ever. I'm seeing an overreach. I'm seeing a council so out of control with their spending. They've got no idea how to rein it in. And to be honest, we're all on a road to bankruptcy. See how easy this is? I had none of that

written down. I just started ranting at this white man. Didn't you? Wild arrogance. Yeah, talkback radio is so easy. You don't even need to try.

Like, you know, we have to prepare the show every day with, you know, quality content. Talkback radio, you just turn up and you spout

some old white mate stuff. No, no, but then you don't get, you know, Shawn Mendes, Benson Boone. To be honest, I think ZB could do with a little Benson Boone. I think they need a little bit of Mendes in the mix. Yeah, chuck a little bit of Dua Lipa in there. Might chill them out. Might chill them out. Chill them out.

Well, you received a visit from the council yesterday and you're not happy. I'm not happy. I'm livid. I'm bloody livid, mate. I'm living. I'm bloody living mate. I'm bloody, I'm bloody living. So we got our bathrooms renovated because they were in a hell of a state. Yeah. So, and that was a

while ago. Yeah. My wife did a beautiful job picking all the bits and pieces. Oh, they look amazing. I love them, they're great bathrooms. Did she not get consent? But, what's that? Was it not consented? No, no. How are you like the towel rails? Because you've got the same towel rails as me and I hate them. Why do you hate them? Because you can't fit enough on them.

How many towels do you need? You're a single man. We can fit two towels and a bathroom on the bottom one there. So what more towels do we need? If you put one for the... It's not enough. I do find fingering the towel down the back... Yeah, you've got to finger a towel.

But then I'm a big believer in every time you finish using a towel, you give it a flick, you fold it in half, and it's nice and thin, and I hold it like that, and then finger it. Yeah, see, I put it in half. But yeah, if you've got more than one towel on a bath mat on there... Oh, you've got a big thick towel. Yeah.

Okay, so I know I like those. I like those. Anyway, we didn't get the final code of compliance sign-off because we were getting the windows changed in the bathroom. Right. So we got the windows changed. We got them lined. Did it all by the book.

Got it all painted. And it's all finally like 100% finished. This is when the council come off and they tick it and they sign it. And it's all legit. He says. Winkity wink. Wow. Legit roll eyes.

Well, yesterday we had the inspection. And this guy arrived And I said As a joke You want to sign this off While you're here And pointed at my Garage

Which has still got A few things to do Before I get my son off And he's just like Nah I was like He hears your Funny stick every day

I'm sure Yeah like it was just A bit of a light hearted Attempt Is he a humorless fella Wildly humorless fella? Wildly humorless fella. Oh, I can't stand humorless.

So then I went about some stuff in the kitchen while the inspection was happening, and I heard the smoke alarm. Beep, beep. And I was like, hey. Because I thought Indy was playing with it. It was fiddling with the smoke alarms. What's that got to do with it? You don't have to have a smoke alarm. It's that got to do with it? Get your fingers off my smoke alarm.

You don't have to have a smoke alarm. It's not law. But you should. But you should. For insurance. Absolutely you should. For everything. For your family's safety.

And regularly check the batteries. What's he fingering that for? It's not his to finger. It's not his to finger. It doesn't look like a traditional smoke alarm. Oh, I sound drunk there. It doesn't look like a traditional smoke alarm. He's drunk on rage.

I'm rage drunk. Because I went and bought those ones that last for 10 years. Oh, yeah, I've got those. Oh, we got those. Those tiny, tiny, tiny little ones. Oh, no, mine's quite big. Maybe I didn't get them. What is it?

He does have a tiny one. Tiny, tiny little. He's got a tiny little thing. Ceiling nips, I call them. Maybe he was just pushing them to be interested in it. Anyway, the inspections happens. I stay out of it. And then the lady who looked after it was there afterwards. them to be like interested in it anyway and the inspections happens i stay out of it and uh then

the lady who looked after it was there afterwards and she said i said i had to go and she said oh one little niggle means that it didn't get final sign i was like a niggle thank you pardon a niggle and uh it turns out the water comes out of the tap too hot. Give me strength! Give me strength! Is that a bad... Because I've turned my hot water up real hot because I love... I love hot water. ...hot water.

I want it to come out of the tap hot. I want to come out... And do you know what? I want it to be so hot that I can have it at about halfway and I can use the pressure of the cold water to give me more pressure because if you have to go all the way to hot, you lose pressure regardless because the water has to go through the hot water.

Unless you go cold, unless you add too much cold. You've got to use the pressure of the cold. It's a very fine balance, but I believe we've achieved perfect shower, pressure, heat equilibrium. Yeah. So you're not allowed to have, why? You're not allowed to have the water coming out of the tap any hotter than 55 degrees.

55 degrees? What am I, having a shower and some urine? Ew. Oh, you've got hot wheeze, Beau. That's too hot. It shouldn't be that hot. Your wheeze shouldn't be that hot. It burns every time.

Yeah. I don't think that's the temperature of the wheeze, mate. Okay, I'll look into that after the show. I'll make an appointment. I'll make a booking. Who are they checking? Because I've lived in houses before where you can make a cup of tea from the sink. Beautiful.

You know? As God intended. As God intended. I've had people use my hot water tap. Oh, that's very hot. I'm like good, yeah, good. When you fill a sink to do dishes and you put the hot on for ages first, you put your hand in and you're like, far out. You absolutely cannot run a pure hot tap into the sink

and expect to wash the dishes. Is it a safety thing? Because I have a friend with a massive scar down her arm when she fell into the bath when she was a kid. Absolutely. Yeah. Is that why? Okay, so why didn't he just turn it down

or say to you, turn it down and I'll sign this off? I couldn't tell you. So what do you have to do next? So I said, so this was, the lady was telling me down the hallway, she's sitting at the door, I'm maybe three metres down the hallway, I'm like, my daughter and her friend who are about to go to dancing

are in between us and my wife's there in the doorway as well and she said, oh yeah, the water comes out of the tap too hot and I said, are you effing kidding me? And then Sharda was like, and then Indy and her friend were like, and look at me. And I was like, I told him to eff off.

And the lady like laughed because I had a smile on my face the whole time. So I wasn't like being aggressive or trying to intimidate her. And she laughed and I said, that's ridiculous. Like, and he's gone. So what, is there another one? He's got to get someone to come in and turn a knob? I can turn the knob. Yeah.

Also, it's stupid because you could literally turn it down, he could inspect it, and then you can turn it up. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, that's stupid. It's a waste of time. Yeah.

Okay, so that's stupid. It's a waste of time. Yeah. Okay. So that's where it's been left. I get it if your water's coming out of your tap at, like, 80 degrees. Like, it's coming out. Like, straight from a thermal hot spring. And someone's going to get burnt. But ours apparently wasn't, like, crazy hot. Yeah.

So what happens now? Someone's got to come and turn a knob, and then that guy's got to drive all the way back out there. For a knob turn. Yeah. I've got to turn the knob. Turn your own knob. Tell me at the time I'll turn the knob.

People have gone further. But then I wonder if I'd turn the knob and the water's already in the hot water cylinder at that temperature, how long is it going to take to cool down? It takes a couple of days. It takes a couple of days because I remember when I turned mine up,

it took a wee while to kick in. Wow. Does this mean I've when I turned mine up, it took a wee while to kick in. Wow. Does this mean I've got to turn mine down now? Well, no, because you've had the inspection. Does this apply to gas? I don't know. I'm gas. Well, you were about to say, does this apply to gangs?

I was like, I think they do what they want. Imagine that accounts for inspecting into a gang pad. You guys have done a beautiful job on the bathroom. Love the toilet. Thank you so much. We put a lot of time and thought into it. One thing, guys, the water's coming out of the tap a bit hot. What did you say?

The water's coming out of the tap a little bit hot. Wow. You're going to have to leave the gang pad. Vroom, vroom. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. We're joined by Lupita Nyong'o, the star of Black Panther, Wakanda Forever. Hello, good morning and thank you for joining us. Thank you very much. Good morning to you.

Oh my God, I look like a sack of shite compared to you. You look beautiful. This is what you can expect the entire movie as well. Oh my God, this vest, this little zipper bustier. She's an absolute picture of the entire film. I need to put more effort in in my workplace. I'm sorry. I just want to say real quick, I don't really have any questions on this.

I just wanted to say to you and everybody in the film, this was the most beautiful tribute to Chadwick Bosman and the character he played in the MCU. It was poignant. It was touching. It didn't dwell on it. It felt like a celebration of his life as much as a little bit of a commiseration at the loss. So I just wanted to say everybody acted that so beautifully and brilliantly.

Thank you so much. That means a lot. Yeah, it was the perfect tribute. Now, I did want to touch on costuming because like the first Black Panther, this movie is just every time anyone's on screen, the costume and the wardrobe is just absolutely gorgeous. What was that like for you second time around? Well, you know, working with Ruth Carter, she is a superhero. She's a costume superhero and she just brings her A game.

She's a fascinating woman because she's so understated and when she's trying costumes on you, she's so cool about it. Like, it seems effortless. Who else was a pleasure to work with? You had scenes with Angela Bassett, who I, when I came out, I was like, I've got to Google.

Angela Bassett seems to have been around forever, but she still looks like she's in her 40s. She's as old as my mom. She's in her 60s. She's one of the most gorgeous women on earth. She is. She is. And she has the personality that goes with that.

She's so full of life. She's fun. She's passionate. She's funny. I mean, I can go on and on about it. You'd be very good at it. You're like a thesaurus for compliments. Yeah.

That's perfect, mate. She's well-deserved of it. So there's some surprises in this movie as well. Some kind of maybe snuck out a little bit, but there's some other ones that are in there. Was there anything when you first got given the script that you were like, wow, that's going to hit the audience?

Yeah, there were a number of moments in this story. I was like, oh, we're doing that. I see. You know? And it's a bold movie.

It is a very bold movie, I'll say. And it will knock people's socks off, for sure. Second longest in the MCU so far, and it does not feel like it.

It's one of those movies where two hours 40 it comes in about it, and you feel like you've watched a 90-minute movie. It's not a watch checker. No, no, no, absolutely. Time flies when you're in it. That's very good news. That's a good compliment. For you, Lupita, you've obviously done so much.

You burst onto the scene with 12 Years a Slave straight out of drama school. I was just reading. I came straight out of drama school. I was just reading. I came straight out of drama school and asked my dad for some money. And like I said, at home for a bit. But then you've done like kids stuff. You've done horror. You've done action. For you, like what excites you?

What draws you to a role? Or are you just keen for anything? I'm drawn. Well, I choose my roles based on where I am in my life and what I'm curious about in investigating in the human condition. But I also like to play roles that scare me. You know, when I read a script, I want to have an idea of how I might play the role,

but I also want to be kind of frightened about where this role is going to take me. I want to stretch. I want to expand kind of frightened about where this role is going to take me. I want to stretch. I want to expand with the roles that I play, so I try and vary it so it never gets stale. Wow. Well, you nail it every time, and the same goes for this film, for sure.

Absolutely. I challenge anybody not to have a misty eye at least twice in this film. Oh, a misty eye. Right at the start, they get you. Right at the start, they get you. And then you've got to wipe it away and enjoy the action. Lupita Nyong'o from Black Panther, Wakanda Forever,

thank you so much for joining us. Thank you so much. Play it. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. COVID. I just had my, what, week last week was my second time. Yeah. And yesterday, again, I just keep meeting people

and I'm talking to friends. They're like, I still haven't had it. So they're called Novids. Novids. I like that. That's what someone messaged in. I'm Novids. I'm one of them.

Along with my husband and youngest. My daughter has had it three times and self-isolated with us, but we still haven't tested positive for it. And this is like one of my friends, like literally in bed with his partner who had COVID and still hasn't had it yeah travels around I've got a friend uh who's a flight attendant traveling all over still hasn't had it and you think in every plane there'd be at least one or two people with it yeah even if they wouldn't know these some of these novids might carry the cure you know they might they might

have the yeah the answer let's juice them so. Just out of interest to see... Let's drink their blood. On a quick poll this morning on our Instagram, ran a poll. Have you had COVID? Yes or no? Oh my God, we've got the answer for why. Someone just texted in. Simple, I didn't have the jab. What?

The vaccine gave us COVID. But then what about all those people that had COVID before the vaccine was available? Shut up. Shut up science. Let's not go down this hole. So we put this up this morning. We've had

4,000 votes. 72% of people said yes, I've had it. 28% said no. And that's what I wanted to find out this morning I reckon we run a really unscientific questionnaire With people on here And try to work out

Because could they all be left-handed people? Oh no, you're left-handed I'm left-handed, I've had it Oh, you're saying there's something There's something There's something I get run away in my own head sometimes If I'm doing the lawns or gardening or whatever.

And I'm like, what if it's as simple as everyone who ate beetroot that week. I know. This is what I run on. What if when they were children, they drank out of a hose and that hose was made of some weird PVC. That's my brain It's constantly like It's simple The answers are in front of us

What if it's people that like They like salt and vinegar chips Yeah Or they've never eaten salt and vinegar chips Yes And that's why they're not getting COVID Yeah they're like Oh no I don't like kombucha

I don't like vinegary things I don't like any like fermented And that's the answer Yeah Because we had fermented stuff We got COVID I always have fermented stuff. I love kombucha.

I love a fermented. Love my, what's that, kimchi? Kimchi. Yeah, see, that's why you've had it twice. That's why I've got it. We've got one of it. It's fermented goods. Everybody that I know that eats pickles has had it.

Is it pickles? So you want people to call up? Do you know what gets you? It's the people that eat unhealthy. And they don't get it. And I'm like, damn you. Go out everywhere. Go out everywhere.

I know. Eat and drink bad and I'm just like. Shagging up a storm. Yeah, and you're just like, why haven't you got it? But then. Of all people. As other people have messaged in and said, a lot of people may have been symptom free. And not knowing.

You would never have known my youngest daughter had it. She had the lightest. The week after or a couple of weeks after we all had COVID, she got a cold that was so much worse for her particularly than COVID was. And you'd be like, oh, that's when she had COVID. But it wasn't. She had zero symptoms for COVID.

Wow. Okay. By the way, the pickle theory out the window. Someone said, I love pickles, eat them every day, still haven't had it. Still haven't had it. It's not pickles. So we want you to call right now if you have never

had COVID, to the best of your knowledge, 0800 DARS at M and we will run through some questions. I don't know what these questions are. We'll find them as we go. As we go, we'll just feel it out and then we'll see if we can correlate that to the reason you haven't had COVID.

How's this? Okay. I work in a hospital and I've been overseas twice and I still haven't had it. See what? Call us. The people at work who haven't had it are all B plus blood type. Oh. Now it feels like, it just feels like we're being, this is dangerous now.

Yeah. Just as I yelled, it's the B-plus blood type! Gather them! Gather them! Drink their blood! Let's drink their blood. Okay, so, well, we're just having a bit of fun here. We're not going down any holes. We're speculating. I reckon it's gonna be some kind of food-related thing

or maybe some sort of brain activity. You know, like they all... Positive thoughts. Yeah, they... Oh, okay. Thoughts and prayers maybe. No, because my mum hasn't had it and she's the most pessimistic person you'll ever meet. Bless her soul. Alright, well, 0800 DALSATM if you've never had COVID and we're

going to put you through our questionnaire and see if we can sort this out. It's science, baby. I haven't had it yet, but to my work's knowledge, I've had it twice, Wendell. Well, so many Kiwis still haven't had COVID. I just had my second round last week, and I've got friends that still haven't had it. Yeah, me too.

And they're not hiding away, are they? No, definitely not. That's not sort of, they're not recluses. Like you could see why if somebody lived in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, with no other people, then you'd totally understand that. So we wanted to see if we could find some common ground and maybe we could solve this

once and for all. What we're trying to do here is we're trying to cure COVID by finding the blood of those we can drink. Kim joins us. Good morning, Kim. Good morning. Kim, if the absolute guaranteed cure for COVID was drinking the blood of someone who was O negative,

would you do it? Well, I still haven't had it yet, so probably not. You don't have to drink the blood just yet. Kim, we've got you on with Julia. Good morning, Julia. Good morning. We're just going to run a couple of questions and see if we can find some common ground here.

Do you eat breakfast? No. Oh, I see a disagreement there. Because I thought maybe it could have been a margarine butter difference. Kim, can we, yeah. Actually, any margarinas between you? No, I prefer butter. Okay.

She's a butter user, okay. So it's not margarine. Well, how big are your feet, Kim? Woman's 10. Julia? Woman's 10. Oh! No, but I'm a woman's 10.

I'm a woman's 10 and I've had it. Okay, you're a woman's 10. Oh, you're a woman's 10 and you've had it. I totally want some big hoofed ladies on the show. Yeah, mate. Welcome to the pedal club. Yeah. I like these big feet.

Yes. Okay, what about star signs? Kim, what's your star sign? Taurus. Julia. Sagittarius. Sagittarius. It's not that.

It's not that. Do you peel your mushrooms? What? Sometimes. It depends on how lazy I'm being. Yeah. What about you? Was that Kim that just said that or Julia? Me Kim

What about you Julia? Do you peel your mushrooms? I don't eat mushrooms It's not a mushroom Do either of you have any Really increased senses Like heightened hearing Or smell or taste Nah I'm kind of boring here Okay Increased senses, like heightened hearing or smell or taste?

No, I find it boring here. No, okay. I think we're done here, aren't we? No, we're done. I think we're finished with this test. When you were a kid, did you... Drink out of the tap? Drink straight out of the tap, like mouth under the tap, and your parents were like, don't do that, that's yuck.

Kim? Absolutely. Oh, yeah. Sounds exactly like my mum. What about the garden hose? Ever heard it straight fromuck. Kim? Absolutely. It sounds exactly like my mum. What about the garden hose? Ever heard it straight from the garden hose? Yeah. And then your sibling could turn up the pressure in your mouth and be like, hmm.

So I don't think the common ground is the garden hose. I don't know. No, I don't know. Because I drank out of the garden hose and I've had COVID twice. I actually sometimes, when I'm inside, will go outside, especially if you're in front of the garden hose. I see if you're going to blow up. Thank you, Kim and Julia. Oh, 800 dials at him if you haven't had COVID twice. I actually sometimes, when I'm inside, will go outside, especially if you're in front of the garden. See if you're going to blow up. Thank you, Kim and Julia.

Oh, 800 dials at him if you haven't had COVID. More questions for you next as we try to get to the bottom of this medical mystery. But we're talking now about the people that are novids. The people that never had COVID. We're trying to get to the bottom of what the common thread is between the people that haven't had COVID

because then we'll know how to cure it. It's not margarine eaters. Not margarine eaters. It's not size 10 women's shoe. Not blood type. Someone said I'm B plus blood type because someone messaged him before saying all the people at their work who haven't had a blood type in common.

It's not B. I've had it three times as a B pluser. I wonder if it's got... I've got some questions. Have we got some... Yeah, we do. Janelle, good morning. To Maria,

a long time listener, first time caller. I like to ding the first time caller bell. There you go, you get two. Do you want to ding it too? Yeah, I want to ding it. Hang on. So you've never had it, Janelle?

Nope. I'm a primary school teacher as well, so I'm in contact with probably two people. Do you think, because you deal with really grubby, they are really grubby little guys. Kids are manky. They're manky, they're dirty, they're little bacteria and viral walking petri dishes.

Do you think it's just this insane built-up immunity? Like that I've got, you mean? Yeah. I have no idea. Other than teaching though, I'm quite a recluse. I don't really leave the house. Okay, well we've got, you know? Yeah, yeah. I have no idea. Other than teaching, though, I'm quite a recluse. I don't really leave the house. Okay. Well, we've got Cody as well.

Cody, are you a teacher? No, I'm not. My partner is, though. Oh, okay. So that's not a common. Can I ask Cody and Janelle? Cody, you first. Are your parents divorced?

Yes. Janelle, are your parents divorced? No, still happily married. Oh, okay. Well, it's not marriage that's the answer. It'd be divorce trauma. What about if you were to get a sundae at McDonald's, what's your sundae topping?

Chocolate. Oh, I see. Janelle, you had chocolate. Cody, what was your flavour? Yeah, chocolate as well, for sure. But I love chocolate. I do double. I do top, bottom, top, top, chocolate as well, for sure. But I love chocolate. I do double. I do chocolate bottom, chocolate top, and I've had it twice.

Cody, what side of the bed do you sleep on, left or right? The left, every time. The right. Somebody else has messaged in. All of these people that have called to tell us they haven't had COVID have definitely jinxed themselves and they're going to get it with them next week. Because that's what happened to them. They said they were a COVID virgin until last week.

They worked in a pharmacy. They were constantly dealing with sick people through all the big numbers. And they were like, maybe I'm immune. And they said it out loud last week and now they've got COVID. Hayley was one of those. God, I took such a big game. I was like, I don't think it's going to get me. Are you guys virgins?

No, I'm married. No, you didn't. So it's not that. What else? We did star signs, didn't we? Yeah, we did star signs. Someone said, my name's Janelle and I've never had it either. Is that everybody called Janelle?

Does anybody know anybody else called Janelle? Wait, Cody, is your name Janelle? No, it's not. It's Cody. What do you think it is, Cody? What do you think is the reason you haven't had it? Do you go out very much? Yes, yeah, definitely go out.

I've been surrounded by people who've had COVID. So, yeah, I'm still trying to put my finger on it. It's such a mystery, isn't it? Here's a question for them both. Are you guys just better than everyone else? They could be, yeah. Yeah, I think they could be, yeah. Well, that's certainly what Hayley was thinking before she had it.

Thank you, Janelle and Cody. Someone else said, my name's Cody and I haven't had it either. Well, that's certainly what Hayley was thinking before she had it. Thank you, Janelle and Cody. Someone else said, my name's Cody, and I haven't had it either. So maybe it's that thing. Females called Janelle and males called Cody. Can't get Cody. Yeah. I think that might be it. Or that they're just better.

Yeah. Any other clues from text messages? Because we had a lot of text messages from the Novids. Yeah, lots from the Novids. What about nail biters? I've never had it. I'm a nail biter. No, I chew mine.

I love chewing my nails. I'm a nose picker and a nail biter, and I still got it. I'm a nail biter. No, I chew mine. I love chewing my nails. I'm a nose picker and a nail biter and I still got it. Yeah. My cat, my car, my car is filthy. So I think I live in such a grim ecosystem 90% of the time that I've built

up an immunity to it. Yeah, maybe. Thicken the lungs. Do you think it's people that touch because I always put my sleeve down to touch the escalator handle. Are you saying if you touch the escalator handle, you won't get COVID? Yeah, I don't know. Science is a lot harder, isn't it, than first anticipated?

I thought we were just going to wander into this sort of hapless, with a really loose methodology and come across an answer. But I guess not. God, yeah. Back to the drawing board. Somebody said, I'm just speaking for myself, but I don't believe you can infect what's already dead inside. Wow.

Somebody said, it could be the fact that I'm single and have no friends. My children brought COVID home and I still didn't catch it, so not even COVID wanted me. Jesus. Is it having this, like, dark view of oneself that stops? I can't, though. Really true. Play.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. It's nine minutes past eight. We've got our boarding call coming up at around 8.30. Chance for you to go in the draw thanks to American Airlines to get to the US of A. A little ding, ding, ding.

A little ding. No, no, I was just stirring my coffee. I wasn't making an announcement. Although, well, we do have an announcement next. I thought it was toast. We do. This is on the back of a clip that's been going around. Sky News had a go at 6.60 for the use of Te Reo Māori.

I'm going to show you this poster. Here's a poster for a pop group which was sent to me called 6060, 660 or whatever. It's all in Mā Maori. There's not a word of English anywhere in there. Wow. I got... Wow. I was really... And I'll say, I was really torn whether or not we even talk about this because this is dog whistle racist

bullshit to me and he knows what he's doing and he knows he's going to get a reaction and the idea is that all other media outlets are outraged by it but the racists that haven't heard of this guy are like, he's got a good point, and then he gets more of a fan base. So I'm like wary of that entire approach to even talking about it. I was the same, but 660 have got a comeback.

This is a celebration of the way that 660 have responded to this. So we're going to chat to Marlon from 660. Well, we just shared the audio, or some of it, from Sky News. What's his name even? Who cares? Let's not name him. He was talking about 660's new poster for their tour, and he had a problem with the fact that the words were all in Maori.

I've been missing the W. This whole time I've been spelling Maori wrong. I've been spelling it all wrong. I've been missing the W. And 660 have've been spelling Māori wrong. I've been missing the W. And 660 have responded, so joining us on the phone is Marlon. Marlon from 660. Morena, Marlon. Morena.

Kei te pihi a koe, Marlon. Kei te pai. Has this just been an insane couple of days? Because it's just, yeah. It's weird, man. It's not the type of thing we do. Yeah. Yeah, the whole thing's ridiculous.

And, yeah, we're all pretty nervous about it, to be honest, like releasing it out there. But, man, the support we got was amazing. So where did this come from? Like, do you even know why? Or is there no reason behind why he was saying this? Rowan Dean from Sky News, he had a problem with the poster. But, I mean, obviously his use of the word Maori, it's terrible.

He's not even a bloody Kiwi. What's going to do? Stick your nose out of your own business. And then he was calling it and so-called iwi and saying, oh, there's a lot of new languages. New languages. New languages. Like, when did this come to your attention?

I think our manager found it and at first I didn't think it was anything about us. I just thought it was some random thing about New Zealand. But yeah, he mentioned my poster and that's when

we were like, what? It does not make sense at all. Yeah. Because obviously for you guys, it's not only part of your identity, but also the shows you put on, you really celebrate Māori culture.

It's obviously something that's very important to the group. Yeah, it was lazy thinking from him. Like, he didn't even dig to see, you know, like, we did this collaboration with an artist to translate our New Zealand, our English New Zealand, to a poster into Māori for a special one-off thing. And he was trying to claim that that's the only thing we pushed out there

and we're just pushing it everywhere. And it's against free speech. And it's like, that is free speech. You're allowed to express yourself the way you want. It is weird when people say that certain things are against free speech when it just doesn't fit their sort of like what they want it to be. So they say it doesn't meet free speech standards. I mean, Marlon, it's pretty safe to say he

didn't do his research. He called you guys 60-60. Are you considering a name change? I mean, it rolls off the tongue. No, but what we are

doing is for our Auckland and Christchurch shows, we're going to kind of take the poke again and like we want to release like a special Christchurch tickets for those two

shows for 60 $60. $60. And we might even make merch. So keep watching. But yeah, also because we know people are, the cost of living is pinching everyone. We're getting a few comments about that too. So we decided to put this together for our fans

and have a special price and maybe some merch. If you can get 660 tickets for 6060, you might even be able to get some 6060 merch. I mean, you may get the best out of a bad situation. Yeah, we really are, man. And the way we did it, that was a struggle too, trying to figure out how to respond because we got it over the weekend

and we were like, do we do anything? Nah, we don't want to put that kind of energy out there. But, yeah, just thanking everyone for the response. And, man, it's been so cool. We're getting so many messages, private messages, just supporting us and talking about what we're doing. That's the thing I was wondering, as a band, did you weigh out even like acknowledging it?

Because it is just that dog whistle, racist, like, dumb stuff that gets a major reaction, either people coming out, you know, agreeing with the guy or people, like, really passionately disagreeing with it. And you know that he's just doing it for a reaction. Was there any, like, temptation to just ignore it and let this, you know, racist slowly melt in the corner? That was our initial reaction. But the fact he actually used our poster

and the way he said it, and it was so random how it came into the conversation, that was the part, that specific part was like, nah, man, we're not going to let this guy get away with it. Well, the special tickets are for Auckland Saturday the 19th of November at Eden Park and Christchurch, that's the Saturday the 10th of December at Orange Theory Stadium.

They're on sale now, and they will be $60.60. 60-60. Marlon, thank you so much. I mean, I know that you say this is not what we do. You make music, and you bring joy to people, and let people have fun. You shouldn't have to deal with this stuff, but as a Māori woman, I thank you very much

for taking the time to do it, and for taking the time to talk to us this morning. Marlon, you're very welcome, and we will continue supporting and for taking the time to talk to us this morning. No, you're very welcome and we will continue supporting and people just need to come to our show and see we're doing it again with Kapaka and it's so amazing and spiritual, especially

playing Pepe Ha for the first time live. That song is something about that song. Mate, I cannot wait. Thank you so much, Marlon. Cheers, guys. Thank you so much, Marlon. Cheers, guys. Thank you. I'm tickled by this. There is a life coach and podcast host called Alicia Covey from the United States.

She's a self-made millionaire based on her life coaching work and her podcast and everything she does. She was on a show on the podcast talking to a doctor about how the contraceptive pill impacts who you're attracted to. I think that if you're on the pill, obviously not pregnant, you're attracted to different men than you would be if you were off the pill. Absolutely. The man that I first married, my first horrible marriage, I was on the pill when I met him. And then when I got off the pill after my children, Charles is like night and day from him. This explains my string of failed relationships, doesn't it? It has, all these women on the pill. So this tickles me because,

I mean, I've been on the pill for years and it's not always an enjoyable experience. You know, I've talked before about you've got to find the right one that works for you, and sometimes it can really mess with you. But I don't know if it fundamentally changes who you are. But this is from a doctor. The podcast host isn't a doctor.

She's not a doctor, but the doctor's agreeing with her. Right. Because it changes all of your hormones, your internal hormones as a woman are completely changed by the pill. So should you meet someone when you're not on the pill? Yeah. If you want to know who they truly are. Yeah.

So she says, I truly think if you were looking for your forever partner, you should come off the contraceptive pill. Use what? Connie's. Oh, God. What are we, teenagers? Jesus. Oh, God. What are we, teenagers? Jesus. Oh, Jesus.

Come on. That was the 2000s. Or you could just maybe wait and then go back on the pill. Oh, what? So date around and then go on the pill. Yeah. Become a psycho. So, yeah.

Oh, yeah, because that's a, yeah. Because it not only changes. Also when you're dating around Is when you want the pill As a backup Yeah I know Yeah yeah As well as So if you are dating around

Definitely Connie's guys Definitely the Connie's Come on Connie So it doesn't only change Your sex hormones But it also changes Your neurotransmitters Hormones like oxytocin

The love drug That everybody talks about It changes all of those Into different patterns rather than when you were off it. So your whole kind of perception of love and attraction has changed. It's a bit warped. Okay, wow. So in the time, I mean, I've been with Aaron for 12 years. I was on the pill when we met and I've been on the pill since.

I had one break in between. I didn't fall out of love with him. Did he change though? No, I changed. Okay. A little bit, but not like wholeheartedly. But now I'm like, imagine if I come off it. And I hate him.

It's too late. I hope not. Good. So, yeah. This is a real worry. Why is it? This is a real, because I'm a piece of shit. If you met me, I'm impossible.

I'm impossible. He's another one who sucks. What if Shade's like, no. Yeah, right. You get the snip. You get the snip. Yeah. Well, I can't now.

I don't encourage her to stop the pill. And then she won't love me. No, you can't. And then I've been removed of my seed spreading ability. But you've bogged her down in admin. I But you've bogged it down in admin. I know I've bogged it down in admin, but what if she comes to resent that? Yeah.

When all the internal programming changes. She's got clarity. I don't need anything clarity. So people have been sharing their responses saying, this helps me to understand why me and my ex-husband started falling apart just after our wedding when I stopped using the pill. I mean, it does change your mood, but again, I don't think it changes your spirit.

She's been off the pill before. When we had our children. Oh, yeah. I survived. You survived. Okay, great. I think I'm good. She's got your bloody child in her.

You know, it's harder to leave then. Yeah, but she had to come off the pill for that to happen. So there was a period of no pill there all along. Yeah, there was a period of no pill, no baby. Ha ha. Another person said when I was on the pill... So it works. It takes a while.

The old smithy works. More than the pill to outcrowd the old smithy. Another person said when I was on the pill... He's like a tapeworm. When I was on the pill, I was only dating men. When I stopped, women. Oh! Okay.

Alright. What if you want a bit of both? Half a pill. Just half a tablet. I don't know if that's how it works. Just have a half. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM.

All right, the impossible phone. I think this will be short and sweet because this story is outrageous. The phoner is, did you marry your relative? Oh, 800 does. No. Some context around it. A woman has married her stepbrother. Stepbrother.

Not related. So they're not related. So what's the argument there? They're not related. They're not related. So what's the argument there? They're not related. They're not related. Her mum hasn't got any problem. But the thing is, the mum and the dad, so the girl's mum and the boy's dad are still together

in a new marriage themselves. And do they care? And in a step... No, not at all. I mean, that wouldn't even be legal here, would it? It's nice when your kids aren't fighting, you know? It's just nice having some peace and quiet. Yeah.

They're not on each other's throats. You're just like, well, this is good. I don't know. These fighters are together, though, and I feel weird. Yeah, because how long have they been together? Like, how long have they actually had, did their mum and dad get together? Oh, for quite a while. Oh, see, that would be weird if you...

They didn't grow up together. They didn't, like, grow up as kids. Yeah, that's. Oh see that would be weird if you They didn't grow up together they didn't like grow up as kids yeah because that would be weird that would be weird you couldn't imagine it happening if they had.

They said they are a match made in heaven. Well I mean I guess if mum and dad get on there's you know probably a good reason Like if you're a lot like your mum

and you're a lot like your dad and they get on then of course you'd get on. It's uh I just feel icky even just going ahead with this impossible phone number. But there's nothing wrong with this and you're a lot like your dad, and they get on, then of course you'd get on. I just feel icky even just going ahead with this impossible phone number. But there's nothing wrong with this in terms of law or genetics, no sort of genetic risk if they would have a baby.

So the question is, does anybody know? Because nobody's going to own up to this at all. Did you marry your relative? No, or do you know of someone marrying their like, their stepbrother or stepsister? Yeah, I'll take in the family as meaning... The step... Blended families. Blended families.

But not, like, I dated... Because some people do, like, and it's bad, but some people, like, hook up with, like, second or third cousins. Like, that's bad. One of us is from New Plymouth. Yeah. Excuse me, you're from Morrinsville.

It's too small. Morrinsville's too small. No one hooks up with anybody. This is more of a West Coast thing. Oh, wait, New Plymouth. New Plymouth is just Grey Mouth North is really what it should be called. Vaughan.

I do, I love Grey Mouth. I can see behind me that someone's on the phone oh no you're kidding me okay well this is embarrassing because this news story came to us from America because when I

when I saw this yesterday I was like oh please don't be from New Zealand this is embarrassing and it wasn't but do you know of someone that has done this

like married a stepbrother or a stepsister yeah or someone in like a distant family come on I'm just going to shut my I don't want to read the text so this time I'll be in charge married a stepbrother or a stepsister. Yeah. Or someone in like a distant family. Come on. I'm just going to shut my, I don't want to read the text.

Oh, I'll be in charge of text. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Let me see. I want to set the tone. Okay, well, we're going to come back. There's two already that made me not feel good. We're going to come back next and see if it is an impossible phone-in topic.

I feel like our producers may need some kind of counselling after this. Now hang on. I literally brought this to the table thinking I've found the impossible phone-in. Did you marry a relative? Or do you know someone

that's married a relative? Would you say this is the most calls and messages we've had? Dude, easy. In a long time. I really apologise. Some of it's yuck. It was a wild story

out of America yesterday about a stepsister and stepbrother that are married now. And even though their parents are still together. And the parents are fine with it. Yeah, they do. And I was like, they're not related. They might have met like when they were teenagers.

Yeah. Who knows? It's not illegal. I'm morally, I don't even know if it's that shadowy in the morally realm. However, the text, that was like you opened the door and then the floods came through. I didn't mean to. I was going to let like one or two in. A drip came through the keyhole.

I'm like, that's cute. Open the door and this flood would have been, yuck. Chris, you know of someone this has happened to? Yeah, yeah. My auntie and uncle both share a half-sibling. Okay, break it down. This is Game of Thrones. So many of the calls and texts we've had of Game of Thrones,

you know, you need a diagram, you need to see, you're like, okay, what kind of power is that? You read a historical book and it's got a family tree at the start? Yeah. So. My, yeah, so my auntie's mum and my uncle's dad got together and had their sibling. And then they've got together and married.

Right, so they were step-siblings. Different parents. Completely different parents. But they do share it. So this is next level step-sibling because they do share a half-sibling. But they don't share blood themselves. No. Their sibling shares a bit of each of them.

Yes. But do you think you'd log on to Ancestry.com and it errors? Cannot compute. It's like, wait. All right, so many calls and texts. We'll get to more of these next. Wow, like the story's coming through.

I'm going to need a lie down and a cup of tea after this one. I need a cold bath. Well, our story out of America yesterday, if you've just joined us for the impossible phone-in topic, which, spoiler alert, is not impossible, our step-sister and step-brother are married. So, in New Zealand, producer Jarrah's just sent through the second schedule,

the Marriage Act 1955 set out. It forbids marriages. A man may not marry his. And the first one is grandmother. Wow. See, and you all thought Game of Thrones was a work of fiction. Yeah. Some people need to be told not to.

Yeah, by law. Yeah. So you can, in New Zealand, you can marry your cousin. That's not on the list. It's not on there. You can't marry your auntie, but you can marry your cousin.

Why? I mean, shout out to my cousins. Great guys. I don't want to marry you. Sorry. It'd be weird if they were listening right now, they're like,

what a bitch. I don't want't marry you either then What's wrong? Tony, you know of some step-siblings that did this Yes, I do My partner's good friend They have been step-siblings since they were 10 years old Oh, yeah

He turned 20, he actually got locked up for a couple of years, came out, and then they instantly started

going at it and they've got two kids. Wow. I mean, not related by... engaged to be married.

Tony, you've taken us on a wild story there. Yeah. And we took a stop in prison as well.

It sounds like a Sunday night theatre. I know, I know. As soon as I heard it, I had to call. See, I think we need a map and we put a pin in prison as well. It sounds like a Sunday night theatre. I know, I know. As soon as I heard it, I had to call. See, I think we need a map.

And we'd put a pin in the map of New Zealand every time one of these things reported. What part of the country did that happen in? Take a guess. South Island. No, no, no, no, no. No, South Auckland. Oh, the answer's South Auckland. Wow.

Okay, okay. But again, see, I don't find that, I mean. But the fact that they were sibling-like since they were 10. From 10, 10. Yeah, that's weird. 10, so then I'm like, hmm. Because they're like a sister. Parents are still together.

Yeah. And that's, so the parents are still together. Tell me what, it keeps numbers down at Christmas. Well, that's what I've said, you know. Small wedding invite list. Yes. And who are you here with, the bride or groom? Columby, Columby.

Tony, thank you so much for that. Rowan, you know a couple that have done this? Yeah, this is a bit of a crazy one. So we live on just north of the Republic of the North Shore. Yep. We live just north of the Republic of the North Shore. And we met a couple and a fiancé and her guy. And they introduced their parents saying that, oh, this is my dad and this is my fiancé's mom. And we were like, oh, this is interesting.

So a few weeks later, we found out from them that his mum actually passed away with cancer while they were still engaged. And so his dad married his fiance's mum and they got married before the kids got married and they got married anyway. So the kids got to be the first and then the parents. That doesn't count. Wow. But the parents. Old sly old dad made you step

siblings before you married. That's pretty like, that's a power move. Dad, wait till we're done. Wait till we're done. Exactly. He jumped into the opportunity there and just grabbed it. But what I always used to say to them is like, well, worst case scenario, if you ever get divorced, at least you're still brother and sister, right?

Yeah, exactly. Still see each other. Stay together for the kids. And you and the kids. Yeah. Wow, Rowan, thank you so much. Monique. Hi.

This is your aunt that you know of. Yes. So all your ones don't compare. This one's actual full blood. My aunt married her direct cousin so they share a grandparent. First cousin! Not illegal!

I know it's not. How is that not illegal? I know, right? And how did the family take that? Well, I didn't hear of anything, but we still kind of make jokes about it. Yeah, because you know what? They've had four children.

Are they wrong? They are. Well, see, that's one of the jokes we make. My father likes to say, but are they? But are they all right? Wow. Oh, no. They actually did get testing done beforehand

to see that there wouldn't be issues if they had children. Oh, can you do that? Yeah, apparently, yeah. They didn't go blindly into it. Yeah. I do know that originally when they started having feelings for each other, they were like, no, we can't because we're cousins. Yeah.

But apparently my grandmother, I'm sorry, my great-grandmother, their grandmother, was like, don't be silly, just do it. Who cares? Love. You know, love. Love's love. Yeah.

We had the matriarch blessing. Wow. Monique, an incredible story. Thank you so much. Let's touch on a couple of text messages before we all have a rinse. I don't want to, Daddy. I don't want to. There's literally so many.

Hundreds of text messages. Wow. Oh, no. What about this one on the top? Their first cousins. They got together. They look alike. Because, you know, sometimes you do look like your cousins.

Yeah, man. Of course you do. If it's like the dominant gene, you look like your cousins. Like my sister and my cousin look like they could be siblings. Sisters. Yeah. Somebody said my grandparents were first cousins. Okay.

Well, next time. There was just less choice back in the day Should we share some of this filth in the podcast? I don't think we should Because it's too much But I think you're banned You've got a one week ban from Impossible Fun I'm sorry

Leave it with Warner Eye for next week Because you need a good shower Rinse off this filth. Like, funny ones like, have you been in a cult? Yeah, right. Okay, if you had to rate, review or marry

Fletch, Vaughn or Hayley, what one would it be? Okay, I would marry Hayley. I would have sex. Wait, which one is it? No, no, no, no. It's only rate, review, marry. Oh, okay. No comment. I would have sex wait which one is it? no no no it's only rate review marry oh okay

no comment I don't have sex with the podcast I don't know how that would work give us a sexy little review though ZM's Fletch Vaughan

and Hayley