ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 11th February 2022

Episode Date: February 10, 2022

Forbes  Top 6: Protestors  Trumpet Tok  Silly Little Poll!  Final Rankings!  Hayleys Version!  Where were you dumped?  Hayleys Long Lost Relative  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe. Try the refreshing McCafe iced coffee. It's available now at Macca's. Let's make it a snappy one. I'm off for... Who have I been to now?

See, it's the guy that arrived at five minutes to six. I was locked. I would have been here earlier. I was locked on my kitchen floor. This is how it went when I walked down the hallway. I was like,

ah, ah, ah. And then it went, ah, and I went, oh. And I started going down and I held onto the bench and all I could do was slow my fall

to the floor. Yeah, you're about to hear that. And then the dog that sleeps inside, Lulu, our old dog, who's deaf and blind, is awoken by the cathut as I hit the floor. And she the dog that sleeps inside, Lulu, our old dog, who's deaf and blind, is awoken by the cathut as I hit the floor. And she comes over and she's like, lick, lick, lick.

I'm like, not now. I had to roll over and stretch my back out. It's horrible. Terrible back issues. So I've gone to physio. I've gone to osteo. I've got another osteo this afternoon. But this morning I'm going to acupuncture.

Are you going to an actual doctor? Yes. When? Oh, my gosh. I'm going to acupuncture. Are you going to an actual doctor? Yes. When? Oh, my gosh. Booking that in as well. Today. They're going to be. Well, they haven't opened yet.

It's just, you know, nine-ish now. I'm going to call them on the way to acupuncture. Can you not do online bookings? Hey, docker doc. Hey, dockerly doc doc. Nah. There's going to be so many physical therapists that just heard you say, are you going to go to an actual doctor?

Yes, that was controversial. After you just shat on physio, osteo, and... Well, no, I... Okay, so what I mean by that is you need to get some pain relief. But then all the pain relief I've had has not even touched the sides. Yeah, but you haven't had any prescribed to you yet. But I got those ones from you that were prescribed to you. They're not...

They were low. Auntie Hayley prescribed me a little something too. And that's, to be honest, the best. The best thing. The absolute best thing I've had out of all of this. Right. And it's not going to stuff up your liver either. It was a prayer, wasn't it?

Yeah, I just thought some prayers. Yeah, she thought some prayers to me and that gave me a nice night's sleep. I'm a little busy this afternoon though, so I don't know how many prayers I'm going to get in for you. Please find the time. Okay, but you're going acupuncture. Is this your first time acupuncture?

No, I got acupuncture when I had shingles. Oh, yeah. Because I had that nerve pain. The worst. I love it. It's weird watching a needle. I'm not going to be able to see this because I'm going to be, I assume, face down, ass up. Yeah, yeah.

Am I going to be hands off? Yeah. They might ask you. You're absolutely peacocking on the table. They might ask you to present. Your little butthole. You can't tuck the balls. Your butthole to the moon.

Because I can't tuck the balls up because I'm going to be lying on them. That'll be painful. So the balls are going to have to be poked out the back. I know that picture you saw yesterday when you Googled what cats look like with balls. I Googled yesterday cats with balls. Oh my God, it's the cutest image ever. I don't picture you saw yesterday when you Googled what cats look like with balls. I Googled yesterday cats with balls. Oh my God, it's the cutest image ever.

I don't know that yours is going to be cute. You need to- And not orange furry. Go to the acupuncturist with the massage table and then you can put your balls through that.

Oh, you just hang off the edge. Put the balls through the head hole. You were talking about 69ing the massage table. Yeah. But then your legs

will just be dangling. The legs will be dangling. That'll be a real presentation. No, I can't do that. I don't know. You know how when you get a massage and they're like, I'll just leave for five minutes and then you can take your clothes off and I'll come back.

Imagine coming back to that and your ass up with your balls in the head hole. Yeah. I love it how they always double check and leave your underwear on. Yes. Yeah. So everything off, bottoms on. Oh, bottoms on, yeah. Leave the undies on.

So I love acupuncture. You're going to love it. Yeah. It can't be worse. It can't get any worse. I said that yesterday, and then I woke up this morning, and I literally had lock in the hips. Like every time I put one leg in front of the other,

it was like, ow, ow, ow, down the hallway. And then that fall may have loosened something up but do you know what else i can offer you other than my thoughts and prayers aaron for a while collected walking sticks vintage walking sticks would you like one i wondered if a crutch would assist it because it would take the weight off the legs and put it in the shoulders but then i'm wondering if that's just going to carry down the back. You've definitely got some kind of pinched nerve, eh? It's definitely. Man, like.

And have you Googled? You have, haven't you? Because you're an absolute hypercontra. I Googled when it was causing testicle pain. Yeah. That was when I hit the Google, and that was what told me it's this most probably nerve because at the junction where it's really sore on my back is apparently where this nerve can split, and it goes down your leg, down your front, and down your back, and I was getting all of those with little shoot pains.

Do you know what I reckon it sounds like is a good old tumor on the spine? I was thinking it could be a tumor. Oh, man. Well, that was a, yeah. So the testicle pain, which I feel I can go into a little bit more on the podcast rather than national broadcast. It's fam. It's family. If you are an owner of testicles, what it felt like was somebody would grab one testicle and give it a sharp yank.

Oh, okay. That's what the testicle pain was like. Yeah. It was like a sharp yank and it gave you that hollow feeling. Gentle little things, aren't they? Aren't they precious little ends? Aren't they precious little gems? Precious little gems.

Well, good luck fixing yourself, Vaughan. Jesus, I can't have a hearty laugh. I'm looking forward to a hearty laugh that doesn't hurt. I'll tell you that much for nothing. Play Zedian's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughn and Hayley.

Half a Vaughn. Are you okay down there? Yeah. Oh, babe. Vaughn's on the floor. Got the towel under my back. Oh. I'm dying.

Well, he's not dying. He's got a very bad back God you're not even 40 yet I know I thought it was getting better It's gotten a lot worse in the last 24 hours Group chat 11 past 5 this morning

Guys I can't drive today I'm stuck in the kitchen My back is totally locked I hobbled down the hallway into the kitchen and then I went to grab my keys and that was like and then I was just stuck leaning against the bench for quite a while. Then I lowered myself onto the ground in the kitchen.

Do you think that more massage was worth it yesterday? At the time? I feel like that was such a mistake. Sweet relief. Today, I don't know. This was the path that was headed down before that. You need to go to the doctor and get some actual like... I'm going to today.

Yeah, good. Yeah. I'm going to get them to stick a needle right in my spine. They don't do that straight away. They're going to today. They don't do that straight away. They'll do it that time, damn it. When I was a kid, I used to...

My dad had a bad back, like slipped discs and the likes. And I used to, to give him pain relief, I used to surf him. So he would lie on his tummy and I would jump on his back and stand on it and walk up and down it. Oh, yeah, that's good stuff. And he said it felt so amazing. And then when he finally went to go get it fixed, the doctor was like, you have made this so much worse. Oh, no. So I wasn't allowed to surf.

No more surfing, Dad. No more back surfing on Dad. Aw. All right, coming up on the show, 7.30 this morning, another chance for you to win cash, $250, and a $200 OPSM voucher. Another round of I Spy with famous New Zealand landmarks. We'll add to cart this morning at 8 o'clock. The top six is on the way.

Yeah, the top six ways to move the protesters on from outside the beehive. Well, they move, what do they move? 120 of them yesterday. Yeah. Move them to jail. Yeah. Yes, and arrests made. Alright, it's coming up in the top six. Up next, a New Zealander has topped the Forbes

rich list. And they're not in this room. No. No. Forbes have released their highest paid entertainers list. And some good people on here. I'm really surprised by some of the old fellas doing super well. For example Bob Dylan, number 10.

$130 million last year. How do they put it? He sold the rights to his music. So it's when there's any licensing or anything like that, he gets nothing for it anymore. So if someone wanted to use a Bob Dylan song

in an ad now. For toilet paper. For millions and millions of dollars, he gets none of it. Whoever bought the rights to it. He also has no say over what his. His music is used for. But then why do you care?

Because, you know, you're retired. You're moving to a Ryman. You've got millions of dollars. Who cares? And also like he can, he'll still like perform and stuff You're moving to a Ryman. You've got millions of dollars. Who cares? And also, he'll still perform and stuff, and he can still sing his own stuff. Paul Simon of Simon and Garfunkel.

He did the same too, didn't he? Yeah, yeah. Number seven. There's some interesting people on here. But number two, oh, there's my Motley Cruello boys, 22. Number two on the list is Bruce Springsteen. I think he did the same as well. Well, he got a better deal. $435 million.

He made last year. Yeah. Wow. But topping the Forbes highest paid entertainers list for 2022, number one with $580 million, Peter Jackson. Sir. Sir Pete. Sir Pete.

I beg your pardon. I'm a Wellingtonian. He's a local to me. He? Sir Pete. Sir Pete. I beg your pardon. I'm a Wellingtonian. He's a local to me. He sold his music. Yeah, yeah, his album. He dropped a hot, hot album. He's a big folk singer. And was it Peter Jackson sings Michael Jackson?

Yeah, Peter Jackson sings Michael Jackson. No, he sold his digital arm of weta, didn't he? Do you remember that? He sold weta digital for, hang on, I just had it. Has he blown it all on World War I planes yet? Because you know he loves those World War I planes. He does love a World War I plane. Loves a World War I plane.

He sold Weta Digital last year for $1.65 billion. And he still has Weta Workshop. 1.65 billion dollars. And he still has Where to Workshop. So his share his share of that Where to Workshop makes him I think

him and Fran So she'd get her share but she's not up there on the list. No they sold it. Together. Together. But whatever reason

she's not up there. She's just the wife. Does Sir Richard Taylor still have a job? You know, he did all the models and stuff. No, but that's workshop. He was my favourite. So the workshop remains the digital arms gone. Yeah.

So he's still got that. Beautiful Miramar in Wellington. It's still there. I always like seeing him on the news with his latest project when he's made something. Oh, yeah, he's very clever. Very clever man. That's so much money.

To be fair, though, if they sold it for $1.5 billion, let's say, and he only has half a million to his name, he didn't negotiate a very good deal. Where's your Oprahs on that list? Was it a quiet year? She hasn't been doing anything. Quiet year. She interviewed the Blumen royal family.

Yeah, but that's not going to get you up on that list, is it? She's not even on there. Howard Stern's on here. P, yeah. She interviewed the Bloomin' Royal Family. Yeah, but that's not going to get you up on that list, is it? She's not even on there. Howard Stern's on here. Puff Daddy. Has he gone back to Puff or is he still P? P Diddy. I think he's just Diddy. Isn't he just Diddy? Is he Puff Diddy? No, he's just Diddy, I think. Or is he P Daddy? I don't know. He was

Puff Daddy, then Puffy, then P Diddy, then Diddle, and they didn't last very long. Diddle was silly, isn't he? Diddle didn't last too long. And then I think he was just Puff. Blake Shelton. God, country music, eh?

God bless America. Did you see Snoop Dogg bought a record company yesterday? Yeah, he did. He bought... Which one? Do you know it, Jarrod? Death Row. Death Row. He bought Death Row. Death Row.

Yeah, he bought Death Row. He bought Death Row records. Oh, that was the whitest thing to watch a room full of white people go, what was the bloody rap? Who was that? What was the rap label? Well, that was where he got started, wasn't it? That was one of the first places that he was working with, Shug Knight.

Yes. Guys, I know my Tupac. I know my... Yeah, you've seen a few documentaries, haven't you? I've listened to a few stories. I've heard a few podcasts. Do you know who I love seeing on this list? Number 17, Kevin Bright, Marta Kaufman, and David Crane.

Friends. Friends. 82 mil. So still, all these years later, they make $82 million just from sitting around doing nothing. Just from a show they did. 20 years ago. Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld on the list?

Seinfeld creators are always making... No, what's his name? Chuck Lorre's on here. Oh, yeah, Big Bang Theory. Yeah, but no, no. Wow, well, if you see Peter Jackson around, ask him for a dollar, his shout. If you see him down the pub, it's got to be his round.

He's not hanging around the pub when you make the Forbes list. He's down the pub. He's down the pub with James Cameron. They're down the pub down in the Wairarapa. In the Wairarapa. But imagine going out with those guys and then getting to pay the bill and they're like, should we just pay for what we had? No.

Absolutely not. You can cover the Domperion. Thanks. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I feel like this is a bit of a dubious story selection. We can cover the Dom Perignon. Thanks. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I feel like this is a bit of a dubious story selection. I will say this has come from my prep and I've really left you in the lurch with this story. Yeah, a story that you found online, Hayley,

and you thought this would be great to talk about. Yeah, we should chat about it. It's important. Run with this story, Fletch. Well, a woman who plans to marry a ghost claims that she... I'll stop you there. I'll stop you there. This is...

You said dubious. Hey, shush down there. This is dubious at best from the man on the floor with the towel under his back. Well, a woman who's planning to marry a ghost claims that she's been

turned down by a number of churches and threatened with exorcism by priests. Yeah, she's really struggling to find a beautiful venue. I mean, it's been hard enough with COVID. Anyone that's been planning a wedding will know the stress. The delays, the delays.

Yeah, of the last few years. But she's revealed plans for their wedding day, saying that her husband-to-be has become a bit of a groomzilla. The ghost? Yeah. Excuse me, his name is Eduardo. Now, she fell in love with him when he appeared. He's a former Victorian soldier, Vaughn.

Don't you know? He has some respect. He fought for his country. A Victorian soldier. So he fought for England in the mid to late 1800s. In the Victorian war. In the Victorian era. Era, yeah.

I love your confidence. Exactly. Yeah, in the Victorian war. Era, yeah. So apparently the argument's coming with this couple. She wants a summer wedding, but he hates the heat. And they're arguing over a wedding date. Oh, my God.

She looks, as you would expect, a little crazy. Yeah. I'm picturing person at the Beehive protesting. No. No, you're not. Well, with makeup. More Emily crazy. Yeah. I'm picturing person at the Beehive protesting. No. Not by? No, you're not. Well, with makeup. More Emily the Strange.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. She said he's temperamental. Yeah, the nuptials seem to be bringing out the worst in him. Well, he was around in the 1800s. Things have changed. Well, yeah, exactly.

He wouldn't expect a woman to speak back. No. If not expect a slap, yeah, exactly. He wouldn't expect a woman to speak back. No. If not expect a slap. Yeah, exactly. But he can't slap her because he's a ghost and it just goes right through her face. I think we'll keep you updated. Definitely keep you updated on this story.

I love that she says, I want a huge white wedding, but a lot of people just can't see the vision. A lot of people can't see your husband. To be fair. The top six is next on the show. Yeah, the top six ways to move those protesters on. They've had their fun.

Let's get them to shuffle off home for the weekend, shall we? From the underground ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hi there. Welcome to today's top six. Not so much underground, more on the ground. On the ground top six. It's weird, you're lying on your back talking. I know.

I can't stand, it hurts too much in every way. Even this hurts, but it hurts less. So, you know, pick your battles. At the moment, on the grounds of Parliament here in Aotearoa, New Zealand, there's a protest happening. And it's your right as a free member of the country to have a peaceful protest. Absolutely. Not all signs at this protest are peaceful.

Well, and I think that a lot of Wellingtonians have been put out because they've blocked the streets. Yeah, business is getting've blocked the streets. Yeah, business is getting affected at the moment. Yeah, buses, you know, can't get through. So public transports. There seems to be some real mixed messages about what they're protesting as well. Some people anti the vaccine mandate. Some people anti vaccines full stop.

Yeah. It's not surprising people who are anti-vaccine not anti-bathing in a public fountain for your daily wash. Oh, I know. Oh, wow. And the trespassing as well is the big issue.

Yes. You know, you can have a peaceful protest but you can't be camping on the grounds of Parliament. No. The people though I have wondered about

setting up a game of backyard cricket there because it is a wonderfully kept ground. A lovely flat. Lovely bit of flat. They might not mind you doing that. Yeah, I was wondering about that.

The people on the news last night, gosh, what an absolute selection of specimens. Yeah. I was thinking about this at the top six and I said, is it too much punching down? Because the people who have spoken on the news. They're representing the group in a certain way. I have an example of one of the speakers.

This is my favourite from last night. I actually spat out a little bit of my Thai prawn salad when this happened on the news. I'm leaving my husband. He got the booster today. He's gone. I don't want anything to do with him. I seriously believe he's going to die.

That's getting off topic. A little bit off topic. She's missing the point. Wait for him to die and then get the inheritance. Yeah, don't leave him if he's going to die. If you know someone's going to die, hang in. You've got to hang in there. Although the rate she's going, she'll probably be the one that's seriously.

Well, that's a serious concern is that all the people there have claimed completely unvaccinated status. It could tear through. But imagine being there and you've had a vax. Yeah, jokes on them because all those donated sandwiches they had, I'd sprinkled some vaccine in it. Ah! Moral vaccine. Old Mollenberg, some lettuce. Bit of Mollenberg, bit of Pfizer Mollenberg.

Pfizer Mollenberg. It's in the grains. Yeah. It's in the grains. Yeah. It's in the grains. And the tang of Marmite and lettuce cheese sandwiches really had it, didn't it? Yep. They'll never know. Well, I've got the top six ways to move the protesters on.

Because yesterday there was a double police chain. And I must tip my hat to the boys and gals in blue. Yeah. For their service. Reinforcements, too, from the regions today. So shit's going down. Oh, you know those regional cops want to kick off. Yeah.

They want to come to the Big Smoke and tase somebody. All right, so the top six ways to move the protesters on. Number six. I reckon right in the middle of Parliament Grounds we pop up a 5G tower. They'll just run away. Exactly. Exactly. Turn it on.

Main control initiated. Just put some green glowing lights on the side of it. Yeah. Some neon. Streaming conscious thought to Bill Gates. Number five on the list of the top six ways to move the protesters on. Oh, was that a possum on Parliament grounds? We better do a 1080 drop.

Oh, yeah. I love a bit of that. Yeah, hover the Westpac helicopter. Yep. And then do a 1080 drop. Yeah. But it's not really 1080. It's, what is 1080?

I've always imagined 1080 as a little green pellet. Yeah, same. Okay, it's green barley sugars. Okay. But they won't take the chance. Green barley? Green barley sugars. Lime barley sugars. Yeah, same. Okay, it's green barley sugars. Okay. But they won't take the chance. Green barley? Green barley sugars. Lime barley sugars.

Yeah. No, it will be like... Watch out below. It's a 290 drop. We saw a rat. And then they'll disperse. Good idea. Number four on the list of the top six ways to move the protesters on.

Tell them at the pizza place down the road, a celebrity's about to eat a baby. Oh my god. I just saw Tom Hanks. He's about to devour a child. Tom Hanks is about to eat, straight up eat a baby that he smuggled into the country. Yeah. Down at that pizza place down the road. We should all moon on down there.

C. Hashtag Pizzagate if that one needs explanation. That's for your own time, please. Don't go down that hole. No, it's good. Do it. It'll tickle you. Number three on the list of the top six ways to move the protesters on. Tell them that the edge of the flat earth has been discovered just down the road in Frank Kitts Park. And they'll race down to be the first to see definitive proof of their beloved flat earth.

Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six ways to move the protesters on. Turn on the government of the top six ways to move the protesters on. Turn on the government lawn sprinklers. But the water that's coming out has got fluoride in it. Oh no. Lots of

delicious tooth strengthening fluoride. Yum, yum, yum. Brush your teeth with it. And number one on the list of the top six ways to move the protesters on. Bring of the top six ways to move the protesters on, bring in the mascot needles. Just think if we rename the Wellington rugby team from the Hurricanes to the Syringes. Isn't there a Sky Tower mascot?

He looks a lot like a syringe. He looks like a syringe. Just repurpose him. Yeah. I've also just assumed the gender of the Sky Tower. I said he because it looks like a big... Well, it's very phallic. Yeah. Very phallic.

Yeah. Big phallic-y. Then it could be a she with a phallic pointy bit. Could be. How? Tell me. I can't see your eyes. I don't know what's going on.

See, when I can see you in the eyes, I can read your mind. We've worked together for so long. But when I can't see you, I'm like, what does he mean? It's a new deep connection you're forming today. Explain it to me off air. That is today's Top 6. Producer Jared was very excited when we were deciding what to talk about today to propose sharing a new TikTok account that he's stumbled upon.

Now, Vaughn, you were on your way into work with your bad back. You got stuck at home this morning. Yep, kitchen. On the kitchen floor. Kitchen floor. With an apple in my mouth. I looked like a Christmas pig. Is your kitchen floor wood or tiles?

It's like laminate wood. Yeah, nice and cool down there. It was cool. I had an apple on my mouth. Well, while you were stuck at home locked with your back, Producer Jared, you found a new TikTok account. Yep. As always, my algorithm is pretty weird.

So I've come across a guy by the name of... What is your algorithm normally? What's a daily example? A lot of nerdy things. Yeah, a lot of nerd stuff there's some cool anime fights on there sometimes

some hot models yeah yeah there's a couple of those he wasn't gonna say that was he he wasn't gonna say that he was gonna leave that out

I don't use TikTok some models are on TikTok as well are they hot people are on TikTok as well apparently so yeah so I stumbled across

a guy who plays a trumpet. I love a bit of trumpet too. I love a bit of brass instrumenting. Instrumenting. Instrumenting, yep. And he plays his trumpet into different stuff. So he'll just shove the trumpet into a bucket of X thing and then just blow.

Like water or jelly or jelly um yeah okay give us a you've got this account here give us an example here all right oh that sounds like an emotion is that jelly was that number one yes no that was not jelly Is it like Oil More, yeah, more like Like a mayonnaise

No No Custard What is it? It's a bucket of water Oh That was just water It sounded so thick

It sounded so much thicker than water Yeah Oh Well, that's got to be something thicker. Custard. Sounds like a bloody... Custard. Yeah, something that kind of stopped it.

So it stopped it and then it bubbled out and that's when the sound got that little bit right at the end. You're on the right track. That was mayonnaise. Okay. Oh, yeah. Very similar. The savoury of custard.

We've been already talking about mayonnaise. We've talked a lot about mayonnaise this morning. Oh, that's got to be jelly. Yeah, that's jelly. That's jelly? That's jelly. Oh, I like that one. Do you want to play that one again? Yeah, that's...

He's open to suggestions. Is he like, tell me what else I should stick my trumpet in? I haven't seen a solicit for that. Right. Oh, what was that one? Paper. No. It's got a bit of a flappy.

What was that one? That one was pudding. Pudding! Custard. It was sort of in the right territory. What would I like to see him? Maybe like, oh, I know it wouldn't make a sound Hayley What were you going to say?

Bean bag beans? No it wouldn't make a sound Like polystyrene balls It would be absolutely It just wouldn't make But they'd go everywhere They would This is why he's

The trumpet and not me If people want to follow this Jared what's his What's his TikTok? At Sammy Hague Music So he's a musician But this is like the kooky side of his talk. Just a side project. He's not using his best trumpet to do this, eh?

He's obviously got a real good... He'd have tears of trumpets. I don't know how easy it is to get cussed at off a trumpet. I don't know. Well, it's metal, you know. Just give it a rinse. Yeah, just give it a rinse under the tap. He does say in most of these videos, the trumpet's fine.

I promise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's all under the table. He does say in most of these videos, the trumpet's fine. I promise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's all right. Okay. Okay. Well, we asked you on Instagram, our silly little pole. Have you ever cried in public? I believe we all understood the word sort of meaning as an adult,

as opposed to like a child in a tantrum in a supermarket. Because you weren't allowed a pack of chips. Oh, my God. Oh, daily. Pretty overwhelming result here yeah 89% yeah for sure

leaving 11% saying nah never what emotionally stable people yeah are the cinemas counted as public

surely because there's other members of the public there I guess so I imagine though it's not in the movies because that's like a place that

would be acceptable to cry in. Being more personally upset in public is the kind of crying I'm interested in. But it was the responses we had to this poll. Yeah, regarding the crying in the public. Zoe says

I dropped my fresh butter chicken on the ground outside the store on Sinatha Street in Christchurch and bawled my eyes out in the gutter. Fair enough. Don't cry over spilt milk. Would they give you a free one? Or butter chicken.

Do you think they'd give you a free one? That's completely at their discretion because it's your own shunsiness. Oh, I would if someone was crying. I'd be like, look, it's all right. We'll give you another one. Yeah, yeah, because the butter chicken's already made. Yeah, exactly. Maybe not a naan, though.

I'd imagine that would still be in the packet. Yeah, the. Because the butter chicken's already made. Yeah, exactly. Maybe not a naan, though. I'd imagine that would still be in the packet. Yeah, the naan would be in tinfoil. And if you dropped a naan, the naan would still be good for a good amount of time. Yeah, yeah. Quick, pick up the naan. Jess said, I cried in a cafe because they had stopped making milkshakes after 5pm and I really wanted one. Oh, I hate it when you've got your mind set on something and you're like, yes, yes, yes. And you go to all the effort to get it. And it's like, no, no, no. Like your favourite slice and then it's gone. Oh, I hate it when you've got your mindset on something and you're like, yes, yes, yes, and you go to all the effort to get there.

And it's like, no, no, no. Like your favourite slice and then it's gone. It's not there and you're like, no. And it's like, oh, should we go somewhere else? I don't want anything else. Jess said she was at least 24 at the time and in my defence, I was PMSing pretty hard. The old hormones there, that's a hormonal...

It's like a tap. Cry. Mel writes, I had a breakdown in the New's like a tap....cry. Mel writes, I had a breakdown in the New World car park because the price of butter had increased by $1. A lovely lady walking past did signal through the window checking if I was okay as I was trying to quickly wipe away my tears.

Oh, she must not be handling inflation. Current inflation. It's literally saying that the price of butter is eye-watering. Yeah. Well, I feel sorry for Mel. Same. Is there other stuff happening or is she just... Other stuff happening, yeah. Your ov Well, I feel sorry for Mel. Same. Is there other stuff happening or is she just...

Other stuff happening, yeah. Your ovaries are preparing to have a baby that she's not having. No, I'm wondering because Mel wasn't PMSing. Yes, she was. She might have been.

It was Jess that admitted it was PMS. Emma said, I once cried at the traffic lights in Russia because I saw an old man crossing the road and he was so frail

and I felt so bad that he was alone and I was on my period at the time. Yeah. Yeah. To be honest, I hope when people see my sad, broken ass walking around at the moment, they run you over. Oh my god, that poor old man's all by himself. He's hobbling. He can barely walk. And then I turn and they're like, oh god, he's not that old. It's pathetic.

He's not even 40 yet. And then I'm crying. So at least somebody's crying. Xanthi writes one word, marching. Hayley will relate. Oh, man. Crying. Why do you cry? Marching is such an emotional sport.

You cry all the time. Why? It's just incredibly, you're incredibly invested in the sport of marching. But what do you cry at? The sound of the music, the sound of the pipes, everything. The pressure at the start, all the work you've put into it. I get it. This is why it should be recognised as a sport.

It is recognised as a sport. Is it? It's a sport. Is it? It is. Yeah, Xanthi, even in her little photo I can see here she's in a marching outfit. Because we're proud. I don't want to show you her marching outfit though.

Is this one of your competitors? Yeah, that's what I was going to say. I don't want you to see her team and fly into a fit of rage and say they're unsynchronized. Nah, they're good.

Oh, they're a good team, are they? What team's that? I'm not going to say. I'm not going to say what team it is. Oh, you don't want to say another team's good?

No. Okay, fair enough. Wow. It's a sport after all. It is, yeah. Very competitive sport. Brittany writes, I was in a bar

and a dog I followed on Instagram died and I just bawled right in the middle of the bar. I just bawled. Because did you hear the terrible news? You know the three-legged dog from the Trust Power ad? That died. Blue, it passed away. The one that the old man who's also an amputee goes and gets on the way

home from visiting his wife's grave. I guess there's going to be no sequel then. Oh my god, Carwin's crying. I'm crying. Did you not know that? Horrible, eh? I saw it and I was like oh sequel then. Oh my God, Carwin's crying. I'm crying. Did you not know that? Horrible, eh? I saw it and I was like, oh my God. That's so sad. Yeah.

He was like 15 or 16 and he had a really good run. That's really sad. I failed my driver's license at 15. I cried like a baby and thought my life was over. They must get that a lot though, the driving license instructors. Yeah, they would. Wait, no. The one you do at 15 is just the test you take at the computer.

That's the road code one. Oh, the learners test at the driving. You don't even get behind the wheel. Do you reckon they're like, can you just don't cry on that keyboard, please? Yeah. It'll, you know, it's electronics. It'll clog it up. It'll mix well with water.

Rachel said in front of a crowd of people when I was 18 at the horror maze because a clown and Freddy Krueger were chasing me down into a corner. Thanks to my sister telling them that I was scared to death of both of those characters. So they targeted me and I burst into tears. I've cried quite a bit at the gym. Just because it's hard? It's heavy. Things were heavy.

And everyone else is way hotter, right? Everyone's hot? It's heavy. Things are heavy. And everyone else is way hotter, eh? Everyone's hot and it's heavy. Just gets a bit much. It's too much. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. This is really disturbing. So there was a security guard who on his first day of work,

he was a security guard in an art gallery and he vandalised a $1.5 million painting that was painted by a student of one of Russia's greatest avant-garde painters. It was a, it's, the painter was Anna Liboraskia. Yeah. Liboraskia. And the painting is three figures. It was painted in the 1930s.

They kind of look like elongated. How would you describe this? It's very impressionistic. No, not impressionistic. Impressionistic is like, I mean, maybe it is. What is Pablo Picasso? He's impressionistic. No.

Oh, my God. Obviously, we're art majors. We've just gone out of our depth, haven't we, in the art world? Can you imagine art lovers listening? Quit art majors. You studied for eight years. This is your time to shine. Three figures by Anna Leporaskia.

Anyway, but yeah, it's three sort of faceless figures. Like really elongated, tall. Really elongated, sort of abstract. Yes, abstract. Abstract people. And what this security guard did on his very first day. Sort of abstract. Yes, abstract. Abstract people. And what this security guard did on his very first day was he doodled little eyes on them. Which I think actually don't look too bad.

I think it improves that. I think it improves that. They're not like googly cartoon eyes. They're just little circles, almost in keeping with the style. Yeah, I don't think it. Of the painting. Yeah. This is reminiscent of the time my brother won a 10-inch Mutant Ninja Turtles movie prize pack,

and in it was this amazing movie poster. Now, I was jealous from the outset because I think my colouring in was better. Now, this was before the days I would have learnt that it was probably just a random draw. Yeah. And he won this amazing prize back and one day when we were having a fight, I got twink and twinked over the eyes of the Ninja Turtles. Because

and then put a little dot in the middle. I was like, yeah, it's so subtle. He won't recognize, but I'll always know I've got one over him. Anyway, the minute he walked into the room, he's like, what have you done to my movie poster? Tussle ensues. And then obviously I was in the wrong.

Yeah. And I got a smack from my dad and a hiding from my brother. Yeah. So that was when I learned you just don't do that sort of thing anymore. No, you don't. So this Russian artist needs his brother to beat the shit out of him and then his mum to give him a smack. And the security guard who's 60 years old, he used a Celtic pen. So it's just like an ink pen.

He's 60. So good. Ink pen. And then after he did it, they're saying the motives, they have no idea whether it was like intended vandalism, whether he was just out of his mind and thought, where the hell are the eyeballs on this picture? I'll just put them on.

Was he just bored? Like he's doing the rounds at the gallery. I guess so. He drew the eyes on and then they have no idea why he did it and then he just didn't show up for work for several days after the incident, switched off his phone and was said to be very upset about what had happened. I don't know if they've got him, if they're going to charge him.

I can't find anything because I wanted to know what style this painting was officially known as. I can't find anything about this painting searching by its name. Well, they're a student of Kazimir Malevich. Oh, of course. Avantgarde. Avantgarde. Okay.

Anna Leproskaya is a Soviet avantgarde artist. Yeah. Okay. So this artist, Anna, was a student of his in the early 1900s. Valued at $1.5 million. Is it worth more now that he's drawn the eyeballs on? He's not Banksy, mate. No.

This is not too bad because it was just in, like he didn't rub anything off. Yeah. And he just put it in pen. Not good for him. He is going to get a hefty fine and potentially face three months in off. Yeah. And he just put it in pen. Not good for him. He is going to get a hefty fine and potentially face three months in jail. Okay.

But the restoration work is only going to cost about five grand. They're going to send it to Moscow and they'll fix it. They've since put up protective screens over the work

of the Avant Garde exhibition. Amazing. It's kind of, it's nuts when you go to a museum and you look at something that's got a big glass case and you can't get too close and you're like, oh, that's a bit stupid. But it's because of people like this. But then it's people like this that can't help but have a little tattoo.

And also like the old, old paintings. I'd love to touch, I wanted to touch the Mona Lisa just boop, boop. But the natural oils on our... Yeah, but if everybody did that, it would just be a gross mess. It's like those statues where you rub the metal or something. The what? Well, sometimes it's a nose. Well, it was his nose.

That one in France. Yeah, yeah. Of that journalist, it's his nose and his bulge. Yeah. But on the very first day, the security guard is out of a job and absolutely screws up. We wanted to ask the question this morning, and it doesn't need to have been you. Maybe it's someone at your workplace.

How bad did somebody mess up on their first day at work? Like, did you make a really expensive mistake? Bad boo-boos. Like, maybe you pressed the wrong button and something ejected. Something ejected. Something got deleted. You were on the space station. You pushed the wrong button and eight cosmonauts were ejected.

Well, I guess we win the Cold War, Russia. I don't know. Maybe you make a mistake. You enter something into the computer wrong at work. Yeah, you delete like years worth of work. Or do you break something, like knock something over, break something, offend somebody? Accidentally order something too much at work.

0800 dials at him. Want to take your calls now. You can text as well. 9696. How badly did you mess up on your first day at work? Or maybe someone new. Just dob in someone new. You want to know how badly you screwed up on your first day of work?

A security guard drew eyes on a $1.5 million artwork. Faceless people. He drew eyes on with like a pen. Literally just a pen that he probably had in his pocket. It's quite funny, isn't it? He's now facing a fine and jail, maybe jail time. Hefty fine and maybe three months jail time. Yeah.

To be honest, I think it improved the painting. Oh, I didn't know what they were before. Now I was like, oh, they're people. Oh, they're people. Anonymous. How badly did you screw up? Also, it's lazy of that artist. She just didn't draw a face because the face is so hard.

Faces are very hard. Anybody can draw a hair and just like a head shape. I mean, it's art. It's a representation of the minimal life of Soviet Russia in the 30s. Give me a break. It's like hands. It's why you always draw people life of Soviet Russia in the 30s. Give me a break. It's like hands. That's why you always draw people standing with hands in their pockets. Hands are notoriously hard to draw.

Hands behind the back. I don't know if you know this, but Vaughan was quite a stencil artist in the 2000s. We were stencil artists. We used to make some stencils. Yeah, with overhead projectors and stuff. Cool. Anonymous, how badly did you screw up at work on the first day? I am an early childhood teacher,

and I was in the sleep room for the first time. I'd only been there for about a week, and I somehow managed to fall asleep. Oh, no. Wait, so they didn't come and check, because when someone's in there, you don't have to check every five minutes because that person's supposed to be checking. So I don't know how long I was in there for,

and I woke up to the manager tapping me on the shoulder and a kid standing over her shoulder looking at me. I still don't know who found me first. But those sleep rooms are, like, dark and quiet and, like, they might have a little bit of white noise. The music is super loud. Yeah, yeah. They're for the kids, though, aren't they?

Oh, but you go in here after a big weekend. I never did it again. God, we need a sleep room at work. We do. How good would that be? Also, a little bit like, I remember the first time I saw the sleep room at my daughter's first kindy, it was, like, stacked, so it was, like, two or three high. It looked like the cages at the vets.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. You've got to make the most of the space. You've got to get them bunks in. Anonymous 6, you call Matt. How badly got to make the most of the space. You've got to get them bunks in. Anonymous thinks you're cool. Matt, how badly did you screw up on your first day of work? It wasn't me, but there was a salesman at a car dealership who was going to start work on the Monday and get the company car,

so they let him pick it up on Friday. Yeah. And during the weekend, he decided that he would crash the company car. Hang on. You say he decided he would crash the company car. Hang on, you say he decided he would crash the company car? Oh, I mean, decided probably is the wrong word. A bit of a minor whoopsie. Right, but at a car dealership, it's not going to be a dunger of a car, is it? Was this a brand new car?

Yeah, lovely brand new car that he got to drive for the weekend. And before you even started on day one, your name crashed bandicoot for the rest of the year. Fantastic name. Well done. Yes, brilliant. Matt, thanks for your call. Some messages in. I used to work at the casino. First week, someone was changing their smaller chips for a $500

chip, so I gave them a white chip. I was new and I'd never given out a chip that big before. Then I looked down and the pink chip said $500. So I was like, wait a minute, what did the white chip say? And I found a white chip and it said 5,000. So I had given them 5,000 instead of 500. I called the supervisor because I gave them the wrong chip. Everybody panicked.

The person had left the casino. Of course they had. Of course they had. You're not going to stick around there, are you? They did end up getting the money back though. Oh, boo. From the person, yeah. It's a mistake. This isn't Monopoly. There wasn't a mistake at the casino back though. Oh, boo. From the person. Yeah. It's a mistake.

This isn't Monopoly. There wasn't a mistake at the casino and you're entitled to that. We had a guy drop a screwdriver down a machine on his first at work, completely ruined a bespoke part. Took six weeks to make. And cost $400,000 in debt.

Oh my gosh. He didn't get fired for that. However, he stayed on for a few months because a few months down the track he got caught sleeping on the job, which is also a big no-no in a factory with machines running. At least they have a sleep room like Kindy. Yeah. That'd be nice. Imagine the sound,

the humming sound of a factory. But slightly muffled. I guess some people are just useless, eh? Yeah, I dropped three trays of summer fruit all over the concrete loading on my first day, and they comforted me by saying, at least you hadn't dropped 10 dozen eggs like the last guy. Aw.

Listen to this. This is an old, this has been five years as this text reads. But listen to how fresh this wound sounds. Oh, my God. My colleague hired this girl who had a similar name to me. She looked like a druggie. Oily, gross hair and a scabby face. See, that's all very... The picture's been

painted. Yeah, we worked in recruitment. Anyway, she effed up six bookings really bad and the client was pissed. Our client thought it was me because we had similar names. So I got reprimanded and I was furious. I wasn't even working when the bookings were made! I'd been there for five years and I'd never made a mistake.

She ended up getting fired. Epic F up of a woman. I've never forgotten either because I got the damn blame. I just hope that my GM called the client and said it wasn't me. Five years. Epic F up of a woman. That's a wow. That's definitely still raw, that one.

Somebody said, on the first day of the job, they'd made it very clear that we weren't to drink over these computers that controlled the big factory machines. I, on the first day, snuck out, came back with a thick shake and dropped it on the computer and then tried to wipe it off. They say that here, though, don't they? Don't eat and drink around here. Oh, is that something that we're not supposed to be doing? Yes, it off. They say that here though, don't they? Don't eat and drink around here. Or is that something that we're not supposed to be doing?

Yes, it is. iSpy is coming up. Thanks to OPSM. It's your chance to win cash. It's the final rankings. Yeah, that's better. I've redone it. You've redone the intro. Good. Okay, because it's slightly off key.

Last week it was very bitchy. Well, the final rankings today, we do this every Friday, we take a look at something and rank it. I'll say the packaging. They've done a bit

of a fancy packaging. It's got a smooth sort of... It's got smaller. The favourites, that box is smaller than your ordinary favourites. Yeah, but it's gone

sort of like a velvet finish and then a glossy on the actual thing. Right. I quite like that. Also, worth noting we've gone for, and there's gone sort of like a velvet finish and then a glossy on the actual thing. Right. I quite like that. Also, worth noting, we've gone for, and there's no window on the front. There used to be a window on the front so you could have a peek.

We've gone for the traditional favourites, not the Kiwi favourites. No. Now, there is no Cherry Ripe. When did they drop the Cherry Ripe in the favourites? When they came to their damn senses. They might be in the Kiwi favourites, Cherry Ripe. Okay, well. We've got your classic Cadbury Favourites. So what's in this box?

I'll rank it from the top to bottom of just how they've labelled it. Not my opinion. Crunchy. Dairy Milk Caramello. Picnic. Morrow. Dairy Milk Plain. Boost.

Flake. Turkish Delight, Boost Dream. Boost shouldn't even be in the pack. We can all agree on that. Because A, it's not a favourite, and B, you can't just buy a bar of Boost in New Zealand. You can. You can buy a Boost. Can you buy like a Kingslayer Boost? Yeah, but imagine if I went to... Not a Kingslayer, but a bar.

Oh, like an individual wrapped thing. Imagine if I was like, hey guys, I'm just popping down to the dairy. Do you guys want anything? Yeah. Can you get me a boost? Nobody is ever saying that.

Okay, I'm going to open the box. Remember when Brad, who works here, we've worked with Brad at different places throughout the years, remember he used to

love an energy bar. Remember the red dark chocolate? He used to come in at four o'clock in the afternoon with an energy bar. Brad, he loved an

energy bar. Only man I've ever known. It's like a bitter dark chocolate. I've just poured them out in front of me. I'm going to start by saying Turkish Delight, and I know that this kind of argument happens every Christmas, doesn't it?

Because there's always boxes of favourites at Christmas. Turkish Delight for me is the number one in a box of favourites. I'm with you there. And I know that that's controversial. Vaughan, for you. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. No, Turkish Delight is far superior because you're not only getting a chocolate,

you're getting a lolly. Yes. Because it's like lolly inside. No, it's like a junk filling. It's rubbish. It's all junk. Since becoming a father, though, I have, you know, I've taken on my dad duties as not going in hard and fast first,

but waiting at the back and finishing off the box. Oh, nice. Screw those kids. Happy to love cheery rites. I don't mind a cheery rite now. Oh, good. Yeah, I've come around, but Turkish delights are still absolute filth. And you know who's going to offer you one of those?

The white queen. And next thing you know, you're going to be whisked away in Narnia. I will say. Looking for that wardrobe. Yeah. Having organised these in front of me, there's two of everything but three crunchies. Oh, good. So I would go, should I go top three?

You go top three. Turkish Delight, followed by Crunchy, followed by Picnic. The rest are trash. Picnic? The rest are trash. Are you kidding me? What, you don't like a little bit of healthy fats with your chocolate? I would go Turkish Delight. Yeah.

Crunchy. Okay, we're similar. And then I would go Flake and Dream. Flake! Ah! Are you kidding? And the rest I could... Dreams on the floor. I thought Dream would be number one from you.

It's a white chocolate and you're absolutely saying you're a white chocolate. It's not my favourite white chocolate. It's not my fave. And then three of the Dreams in Disguise. I would not eat fave. And then through the dreams and disgust. I would not eat the boost bars or the moros or the picnics. And then I'd begrudgingly eat the dairy milk last. Or dairy milk you'd use if you were sort of making a pavlova and you needed something to grate on top.

The flake, the only reason, the only purpose for a flake is that, is baking, is to crumble it on top of something. No way. Nobody eats a flake. No, I could eat a flake. Only the crunchiest, flakiest chocolate tastes like chocolate never tasted before. I mean, great jingle, terrible chocolate.

Advertising works, doesn't it? That was a hot jingle, eh? That was a sexy bit of chocolate advertising back in the day. So we're on board that the top two, a Turkish Delight followed closely by Crunchy. You're madness. Now you're an absolute minority. What are yours, Lorne?

See, I love Caramello. Yeah, it's good. It's a classic chocolate. You get a bit of Caramello in the middle. Yeah, but you were harping on about the Turkish Delight being a chocolate and a treat. Yeah. But then that's exactly what the Caramello was.

I'm not putting it at the top, though. Controversially, it's the flakes that I go to first. Is it? What? Especially in a box of favourites because you pop the end open and then just pour it straight into your mouth and you get that crunchiest, flakiest chocolate, never crumbliest, flakiest chocolate I've ever tasted before.

But it goes everywhere. It's a mess. It's trash. Crunchy, I'm not on. What? I'm not on crunchy. I'm not on crunchy. Nobody ever listening

is going boost or morrow first, are they? You can't throw... That's it. You should have thrown them before the dream. Dream and boost,

you know what? Dairy milk? No, don't throw them. They're an honoured classic. You'd go to those before a crunchy or a Turkish delight. Yeah, I might go

a flake, a morrow and then a caramello. I just, you're a monster. Flake. I'd throw the flake but it'll turn to absolute dust

when it hits the ground. As long as it doesn't break the seal I can still open it and pour it all in in one go. So you're a flake then a morrow

then a caramello then a caramello. Very caramello. Caramello. I love moro bars. I've always loved moro bars. But see, this is why we work. This is why we work. We can sit down and eat a box of favorites and just eat the opposite.

Yeah. What's your number three? Dream. What's wrong with dream? No dreams. No, that was four. Yeah, I love white chocolate. It's three or four.

I expected that to be higher on your list. If it was Milky Bar or like a gold. The only acceptable white chocolate is Lindt. Lindt is really good chocolate. The white chocolate otherwise is absolute trash. It's not chocolate. Some messages in. Someone's just churned in, why are we ignoring Cherry Ripe? Well, dear listener, my number ends in 414's not chocolate. Some messages in. Someone's just tuned in. Why are we ignoring cherry ripe?

Well, dear listener. It's not in it. My number ends in 414. I'm directly speaking to you. We did address this. It's no longer in a box of ordinary Cadbury favourites. Which I'm upset because that would be my number two. They're just brilliant.

Yeah. Somebody else said, My mum, when she was pregnant with me, ate Turkish Delights every day. And now they're my absolute favourite. I love them. That's probably why they're jelly in the middle. That listener. A sensationally soft Turkish Delights.

You could cut off a finger and in the middle would be Turkish Delights. That's how I imagine. That's a cannibal's dream there. Is anyone coming in in defence of the boost? Absolutely nobody. Oh no, wait Absolutely nobody. Boost?

Oh, no, wait a minute. Boost is just a rebranded Morrow Gold, and they're an elite bar. No, they're not. There's nothing elite about a boost. Yeah, no. Just shut up. Just trash, space-filling trash.

Somebody else said, I love boost. I'm insulted by your hate towards the boost bar. Boost tops anything else in that box. Why? Yuck. What kind anything else in that box. Why? Yuck. What kind of person is that? You can't give us any information why. That text comes to us live from outside Parliament.

So, I mean, that shows you the sort of taste of a person who likes a boost bar. Yeah, they all love a boost. Boost bar, the official bar of people protesting vaccine mandates, 5G, 1080 and everything else outside Parliament. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. A study that took place in America looked at our acts of kindness. Okay. When we do something nice,

a nice, meaningful gesture. And it surveyed 2,000 people and a lot of data out of it. And they worked out that over your average lifespan, you will perform around 25,000 thoughtful acts. Acts of it. And they worked out that over your average lifespan you will perform around 25,000 thoughtful acts. Acts of kindness.

You might give money to charity or do something nice for someone. Hold the door. There's a study, I listened to a podcast and they talked about selfless acts. Yeah. And if there is ever truly such a thing as a selfless act. People do something and then they tell people they did it and that's not selfless acts yeah and if there is ever truly such a thing as a selfless act like you know you people

do something and then they tell people they did it and that's not selfless no because they kind of did it because you don't like to go on about your charity absolutely hate to go on about it but now that you've asked but even that yeah even that or even people who do something and they think they're doing it selflessly but they believe in karma that's not selfless because you're you believe you're earning yourself brownie points. But what if I held the door open for someone? How is that not selfless? You want

them to think, man that guy's a nice guy for holding the door open. You want them to have a... But it's still really an act of kindness because it benefited that person. Whether or not you're also getting a little better. It just made me think of that selfless act. And this guy kind of like he had a list of these things and could just dispute how every

one of them wasn't actually selfless because there was some benefit to you out of it. It's hard in this study to find really what they think is an act of kindness or a thoughtful act as they're calling it. The survey said that saying thank you has been rated the most underrated thoughtful act. 49% of people say that that is the most underrated thoughtful act, just a thank you. A thank you. You'd say more than 25,000 thank yous in your lifetime, wouldn't you? Yeah. Well, when asked how they show thoughtfulness to others, most say they send them a birthday

greeting or present, listen to them, give a compliment. Compliments are good. That's a good act of kindness. They always try to do something nice for their loved ones on their birthdays in particular. But they said that two-thirds of people admit that it's hard. It's hard to sustain being thoughtful and kind all the time. So if you break it down, $25,000 in your lifetime,

it's about 312 meaningful gestures a year. That's only one a day. Yeah. It's not even one a day. Thank you. Thank you for pointing that out. Are you getting to the end of the week and you're finding that you're behind?

I've done any. You haven't done any. What a lovely aubergine shirt you've got on today, Vaughan. Thank you for pointing that out. Are you getting to the end of the week and you're finding that you're behind? I've done any. You haven't done any. What a lovely aubergine shirt you've got on today, Vaughn. Thank you. I look like Grimace from McDonald's show sponsors. No, it's more eggplant emoji than it is Grimace. Yeah, it's very dark. No, Grimace is purple, purple.

I think you've Mandela affected Grimace's purple. No, no, look at Grimace. He's purple. No, Grimace. Is Grimace more like the emoji eggplant? No. Grimace is purple. Oh, he's a bit more of a purple.

You're not ashamed. Grimace is a Cadbury purple. Oh, shit, don't tell Cadbury. They own that purple. They do own that purple. They do indeed. Yeah, okay, end of the week. Would you like a sip of my water there, Fletch?

No, not sure. We're in COVID times. No, not in COVID times. I'm short. I'm coming up short. Yeah okay End of the week Would you like a sip Of my water there Fletch No not really We're not in COVID times No not in COVID times I'm short I'm coming up short You're coming up short What about just like Waving somebody in

Yeah that's beautiful A little bit of traffic A bit of waving someone in Oh yeah But That's fine if it's like A merging situation Where there might be confusion

Or you're like You know you go first That sort of thing But don't do that Don't stop When you're entitled To a left turn and try to wave someone who's waiting for you across traffic when they're turning right. Don't do that.

And then make me feel like the dick when I'm like, no. It's not the rules. Just go. Just follow the rules. Yeah, follow the rules. Don't be polite here. This isn't the rules. God, you're really angered by that. There's one road by our place where people do it all the rules. Don't be polite here. This isn't the rules. God, you're really angered by that.

There's one road by our place where people do it all the time. You're like, this isn't how it works. Yeah, just go. What do you want, anarchy on the roads? Follow the rules. And I think it's because people still haven't kind of adapted to that rule. That they change. They change that rule.

That's wild. Do you remember when we used to be able to like, used to give way to turning cars? That was wild, eh? I know, and you'd have to just stop your journey. Like the only country in the world to do that, and we did that. That was wild.

Well, if you're out there today, remember to give a nice thoughtful act or an act of kindness, unless it is to a 39-year-old man driving a black Jimny around Auckland because he doesn't want your kindness. He just wants you to hurry up and go. Follow the rules.

Looking kind of like a darker Grimace. Yeah. Do you know, in Ireland, actually, this week, they've changed some road rules. Oh, yeah. Buses and trucks are going to drive on the other side of the road. And if it goes well in six months, the cars will as well. Ouch.

Was that a joke? Why were you doing that? I just saw it. It was one of my favourite jokes when I was a kid. And it popped into my head and I was like, I'm never going to get a chance to say that. And then I rushed it because you gave me a hurry up signal.

I rushed it. We'll die. That joke was funny to no one but you. Then you laughed and hurt your back. Did you hear an I did I laughed and hurt my back? In Ireland, they're going to change trucks and buses drive on the other side of the road. And in six months, if it's going well, the cars are going to change too.

It's not funny. Leave me one more time then. I don't think you're getting it. All I think about is, what, so they can put a bus lane on the other side? No, the buses and the – you imagine the chaos. Anyway, it's Ireland. And I'm allowed to say those jokes because I'm predominantly Irish. Don't you dare say that if you're not. That's racist. I'm a little bit

Irish. Laugh reservedly. Hayley's version. Hoo! Songs sung with different lines. Nice. And we've just heard Imagine Dragons, Enemy. And you might have heard the bit in the middle where he's...

You're a little anxious about the raps. I'm more anxious about the raps. Because you have chosen Imagine Dragons, Enemy as your Hayley's version this week. And you've chosen a topic that's very close and sticky to all of us this week. Very close and sticky. Well, I did think, you know, I want Hayley's version each week to be about the hottest topic. What are we talking about in the week? And obviously, I was like, it's the protest.

It's the protest. But it's not. But you couldn't rhyme protester with enemy. No, I couldn't. It didn't quite fit. And I realised the number one thing we're constantly saying to each other is like, man, have you been outside? Oh, man, the humidity. It's so hot, so heavy and dense. So the subject this week,? Oh man, the humidity. It's so hot, so hot, so heavy and dense.

So the subject this week, humidity. It's the humidity. It's not just in Auckland. It's all through the North Island at the moment and parts of the South. All right, take it away. Hayley's version, the humidity. I wake up in my bed, my sheets are soaking wet.

Give myself a check, okay, it's just sweat. To cool my body down, I get into the shower. I get out of the shower, sweat immediately pours down. What's the point in hygiene? With the moisture in the air still rising oh the humidity why you gotta make my hair so frizzy all we talk about it morning tea has everybody noticed the humidity It's killing me It's my game It's moist in all my bits It's damp up in my pits

My deodorant has quit It's not cut out for this shit The hippie hammer masks Like a Bikram yoga class I'm trying not to laugh When a bit of sweat rolls down my ass Our bedroom is literally steaming if you think we're having sex you're dreaming

oh the humidity removing the ability to go to sleep three fans blowing wind on me. My power bill is gonna be a monstrosity. I'm feeling so muggy, I'm feeling so yucky, feeling like people with aircon are lucky, feeling like every time that I move, drops of sweat cascade down my boobs, open the freezer, stare at it, wonder if there is a way I could fit, go outside to the sound of cicadas, but my paddling pool is fully deflated, wondering how the deniers must feel, is it kicking in now, climate change real, don't get me wrong, like my temperature's high, but I don't like my balls sticking to my thigh, don't love the way that I feel like a grub, don't love the way that my thighs rub, hate how it feels like I wet my pants, love what it's doing to my indoor plants, they popping, no no stoppin', no floppin' My house like a topical, tropical popsicle poppin'.

Oh, the humidity. Please excuse my profanities. But it's M and F and high for me. This humidity. That is the humidity. Hailey's got a shot. Oh, yeah. The rap.

I was like, is she going to hit this rap? Because we always do, every time that song plays, we talk about the rap and how insane it is. Putter, putter, putter. Putter, putter, putter. Putter, putter, putter.

Putter, putter, putter. Putter, putter, putter. Oh, my God. Don't be impressed. I'm literally just saying words in there. Right. But you do hate it when your balls stick to your leg.

I hate it when my balls stick to my thigh. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. ZM's Add to Cart. Well, Add to Cart, the first item that we're adding to our virtual shopping cart,

we should add a dozen roses with Valentine's Day. I can't afford it. $180 for a does. Aaron, if you're listening, don't bother, babe. I don't need it. He's never bought me flowers.

Has he never? No, he's not. He's like, they die. He's so right, though. He's got a great point. They do just die. They do die. They get all manky

and I leave them in the vase for like weeks beyond what they're supposed to. And then there's like tadpoles and back swimmers in the vase and you're like, well, it's its own environment now. I can't destroy an ecosystem.

Well, ZM's Add to Cart, we add items at 8, 11, 2 and 4. You've got to jot down all the items or super memorise them if you're that kind of genius. I have to write them down, I couldn't remember four things in a row. I've got a terrible short term memory.

So if you're the first caller through at 5, you can name all the items, you win them all. So the first item today is anresso machine. Slap in a little pod, get a quick little cup of coffee. I've never had a Nespresso coffee. Coffee makes me highly anxious. Really?

You can't drink coffee. But if you do drink coffee, I know those are very popular. Yeah, people love them. They love them. All right, well, that's the first AdCard item. Jot that down. Well, each week we take a turn picking a song that's at least 10 years old. It's got to be a banger, something we haven't heard for a while.

Hayley, it's your turn this week. And a banger I have. This is off Gwen Stefani's debut solo album, Love Angel Music Baby. The album itself was nominated for Best Album at the Grammys, had amazing songs. Holla Back Girl. Oh, yeah. I mean, lest we forget. That is not the song that I am playing.

The song I'm playing didn't do very well in the American charts, I'll say. It debuted at number 93. Oh, that's a solid debut. In the year of 2004. Reached a peak of number 47, remained in the chart for 20 weeks. But in New Zealand, it reached number three. Because we know good music when we hear it. 2004.

2004. 2004. Wow. Big time for me in music listening. There were some bands that had a real breakthrough in New Zealand and Australia before they got big in America. Is that one of these? No, Gwen Stefani. No way. She was massive in America because of No Doubt.

Well, No Doubt was huge, yeah. But if you remember this... Yeah, it never got big in the States. If you remember this album, she was highly influenced by Japanese Harajuku culture. And this music video was a real Alice in Wonderland-themed, amazing little piece of art, I'll call it. Right.

This is Gwen Stefani, What You Waiting For? All right, it's your Friday flashback on ZM. Bye. What you waiting, what you waiting, what you waiting, what you waiting, what you waiting for Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock Take a chance, you stupid hoe Looking like a bell, you're repeating yourself You know it all by heart, why are you standing in one place? I'm born to blossom, born to perish You're not moving because of your sex chromosome

I know it's a messed up how our society all thinks But sure, life is short, you're capable I'm gonna have to look at your watch now You're still a super hot female You got your million dollar contract I can't wait What you waiting, what you waiting, what you waiting, what you waiting, what you waiting for? I can't wait to go back into Japan. Give me lots of brand new fans. Osaka, Tokyo. You hair is sugar, girls Pretend you've got some wicked style

Go Look at your watch now You're still a super hot female You've got your million dollar contract And they were waiting for your hot check What you waiting, what you waiting, what you waiting, what you waiting, what you waiting for? What you waiting, what you waiting, what you waiting, what you waiting, what you waiting for? What you waiting for?

What you waiting for? What you waiting for? Take a chance, you stupid hoe Take a chance, you stupid hoe What you waiting for? What you waiting for? Take a chance, you stupid hoe Gwen Stefani, Friday Flashback, What You Waiting For? Hayley's pick this week and some feedback from the listeners, Hayley.

Tell me, tell me, give it to me. A banger this is not. That's like Yoda himself has messaged in. Wow. A banger this is not. Hayley, sorry. What? I danced around the room before my first day of primary school to this song.

Jeepers. Why don't you shut up? You are young. Why don't you shut up? Because Fletch and I were working together when that song came out. So why don't you shut up? We were. Why don't you shut up about your youth?

We were. And now I'm having the best Friday. Thank you so much for reminding me of my first day at primary. You're welcome. I don't know how that song popped up in my life again, but I added it to my gym playlist and it gets me going. Good beat. Good beat for a gym playlist.

What you're wearing is so good. Yeah. I'm just realising now that this is wildly inappropriate for a five-year-old. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Take a chance, you stupid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a bit chance, you stupid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a bit of that in there.

I don't know if it's a beepable one. She's sort of a loose girl. And we were just speaking off there. You probably wouldn't get away with the appropriation of the Japanese culture so freely. More now there was a lot of uproar, wasn't there? Yeah. Their whole album.

Yeah. Somebody else described it as bland. That's the worst sort of answer. I mean, love it or hate it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like saying not a banger, that's okay, but describe it as bland. So do you think that maybe I've failed? I'm so excited about that.

I wouldn't say I've failed. There's been some positive ones there. I think people just maybe expect a bit more from you. Yeah. I think that's fair. Well, you've got three weeks to turn it around. Yeah, I did throw some other options out. As a performer, is bland about the worst thing you could be called? Yeah. Forgettable, boring, bland it around. Yeah, I did throw some other options out. As a performer, is bland about the worst

thing you could be called? Yeah, forgettable, boring, bland. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rather than ill. You'd rather...

Jared is feeling so smug about this one because he said, this song sucks. I said it to him, he was like, this song sucks. Wow.

You've got three weeks to turn it around. Yeah. All right, I'll be back. Better than ever. This is why it's always good going after Fletch because he picks some absolute rubbish song. Are you kidding me? I pick bangers week after week. No, you don't.

You pick songs that are still played all the time. I'm always the strongest. You just listen to more FM in the car for 20 minutes and you're like, oh, that'll be great. And the rest of us are just like, pass another one. Rubbish. Absolute rubbish.

Coming up next. No, now. Coming now. Oh, coming now. Coming in hot right now. Yeah. No, I want to go next. And you made the call.

You made the call. I'm all over the show because my song got blasted. If we straight up refuse to do it, he'll have no choice but to do it next. All right, throw the air brake. There's no air. It's a hair song. Throw the air brake. No, we do it. Play it. All right, throw the ad break. There's no ads in her song.

Throw the ad break. No, we do it. She wants ads. Play ads. No, we're not playing ads. I know we're not trying to play ads for like 20 minutes or whatever, but she said ads. I wonder. Are you a sexist?

Because I'm a feminist. I'm a feminist. If she wants ads, she'll get ads. I'll do my job. I'll do my job. Thank you. This is a bit of a ridiculous story. You just saw a female fall into line because she was scared of what would happen at the outcome of a powerful male.

I'm obeying. Yeah, that's what's happened here. No, you're doing your job. I'm obeying. Just watch your tone. I just watch your tone. Don't do your job. We are broadcasting.

And I'll bear the children. We are broadcasting. And I'll bear the children. And if you could do it for just a little bit less money. God, this guy. If you could sex it up a bit while you're doing it, hey, is that the next thing? Wow.

Can we get some radio cleavage? This is absolutely ridiculous. I can't believe you sometimes. What is radio cleavage? You can just hear it. Yeah. You can just hear it. Yeah.

Fine. I'll obey. It goes, it sounds like this. Radio cleavage Oh, you are little boobs That's a little boob Cleavage I don't have big cleavage You're a boisterous breast Okay, there was a wedding

There was a wedding And the father of the groom made an absolute stuff up. This is not okay. This is not kosher. This is not socially acceptable. He was at his son's wedding with his wife, the son's mother. They were enjoying the nuptials of the day. And then the guy thought,

this feels like the right time to tell my wife that I want a divorce. At their son's wedding. Wow. A few drinks? A few drinks on board, I imagine. But it's your son's special day. You never do anything. You don't propose.

You don't cause trouble. You don't start a fight. You don't get too drunk. No, but this was not impulse. So the son went on Reddit to say like, is this, what is this? Like what has happened here? And he revealed that his dad has been feeling neglected

by his mother for years. Right. Claiming that her career had always been her one true love. And so as he watched his son marry his one true love, he realised it's not this woman, it's not my wife. Oh, so he was like, well, I've got to end it. But then I just push that down and deal with it later. Yeah, do it tomorrow.

On the next day, you've got the breakfast the morning after. You can't do it at the end. Well, apparently they tried to keep it on the D-low at the wedding. Like, he brought it up at the wedding. The guy said that his mum is pretty reserved in public. He heard them fighting a little bit during pictures. And he asked, you know, if you could just like tie a whore on the fighting for a little bit. He heard him asking, the dad asked the mum, do you love him more than,

do you love me more than you love your job? And she answered honestly saying that she didn't know if she could answer that. And then she said she could probably never love anyone as much as she loves her job. And then so he took off his wedding band and handed it straight to her during the pitches. Oh, no, no, dad, dad.

That's naughty, dad. Absolutely. And then the grandparents got involved and caused an absolute, quote, dad, dad. You don't cause a scene at the wedding. That's naughty, dad. Absolutely. And then the grandparents got involved and caused an absolute, quote, scene, launching a tirade. So the mother's parents then launched a tirade on their ex-son-in-law at the wedding of their grandson. To be honest, if I was a guest at the wedding I would love the drama Yeah

But I mean it shouldn't be happening It would suck to see your friend's special day Get ruined like that though Yeah Everyone on Reddit is like This is not okay This is supposed to be your day An absolute terrible choice of timing

Place and timing You don't break up with someone at a wedding No you don't So we wanted to ask you Where were you dumped? Where was the most outrageous place? Or did you see someone get dumped somewhere? That someone cut it off, yeah.

I love it. Have you ever been in a cafe and you see a couple having an absolute rip-roar of an argument and you wonder when you leave, I wonder if they'll make it? Yeah. That was getting emotional. Voices are raised. Where have I been dumped? In a park?

I haven't really been dumped. I've done a lot of dumping. Well, where did you dump people? Just on text. In their house. Yeah, yeah, texts. Straight to their face. Straight to their face.

So you can watch them cry. Yeah. All right, well, 0800DARLS.M. Give us a call. Maybe you've witnessed this or you've been the dumpy or the dumper. 0800DARLS. at M you can text 9696 Where was the stupid place that you were dumped? A father has come under fire

after he decided to divorce his wife while attending their son's wedding That's the spot that he decided to dump his wife and say no more honey, we're done We want to know from you the worst places you've been dumped. The worst place.

Or maybe you've seen a dumping happen. Yeah. Some text messages in on the subject. This one, Phil, and this one. Not really a place, but a day got dumped on Christmas. You, yeah, you got dumped on Christmas. Yeah. It's terrible.

I got dumped on my parents Yeah. It's terrible. I got dumped on my parents' answer phone in high school. When I got home, Dad said, there's a message for you on the answer phone. It's not good news. Oh, my God. Your parents heard it. How embarrassing. Oh, my God.

Dad's like, beep. Hey, Amy, it's Gareth here. Don't know how to say this. Hoping you'd answer, but we need to break up. And the dad's like, oh, good, Gareth. Gareth was a bloody loser. We're blagging. Amy, answer phone message for you.

Jeremy, where did you get dumped? We were day two into a five-day trick. Oh, no. Abel Tasman. Oh, no. Abel Tasman. Oh, beautiful. What a beautiful place to be broken up with, though. It's a romantic spot, actually. Great place to contemplate, yeah.

Yeah. So you can't get out unless you get, what, a boat out. Did you stay for the five days? Yeah. Well, yeah, we finished the trek. But the worst thing was we had, like, because we were walking it with all our gear, we took the stupidest, smallest tent we could ever find. Like it was barely a one person tent.

Oh no, you're on top of each other basically. I must ask, you were dumped? Um, yeah, but it was kind of like a yes. Let's just say yes for the sake of the conversation. Okay, so you were dumped. Why did this person choose to dump you two days into a tramp

that they knew they couldn't escape you for for five days? Couldn't this have waited until afterwards? Or maybe if she knew, he or she, I won't assume, but if they knew it was going to happen, could they not have dumped you the week before? I don't know. After a long day walking and maybe just cranky, I don't know. Yeah, do you know, it's that thing when you're, like, exhausted,

you're often very vulnerable because you don't have the energy to put up your walls. So you're all open and tired and you're like, oh, my God, I don't actually like you at all. And, Jeremy, you sound like a fast walker. You're probably walking too fast, too. I'm steaming. Because that's a big fight on tramps, isn't it?

Well, I don't want to walk with this dude anymore. Yeah. Jeremy, thanks. You called some messages in. Somebody messaged in saying, I got my booster vaccine yesterday and I got dumped on the news last night probably wasn't there

but that's good that's a good topical reference yes I got told after 17 years of marriage to get out on my son's 12th birthday so that's also

that's a bit selfish because that's going to be always with that kid on their birthday yeah don't bring the kids into it yeah give it a bit of space around kids. I got dumped on our anniversary at home when we were drunk and his ex was there too.

It was about 2 a.m. and my friend just cracked her head open and the ambulance was on the way. What? That's like eight different events. There's a lot going on there. Anniversary, drunk, ex was there, 2 there 2am Cracked head open Ambulance on way Too much Yeah

Imagine that hangover Waking up and being like What? Oh, oh, oh What happened? I got dumped on Snapchat The morning of Starting my first job

Post university Thanks for that mate My parents Broke up after 27 years My father rung my mother While she was at her sister's funeral To tell her he was leaving her for someone else Okay, wow

That's tasteless If Sade were to come I was going to come to a sense that I didn't mean that That wasn't what I meant at all As long as I can keep on top of You know, what I put in her food and drink every day But if Sade was to come to the realisation That's what I meant at all. As long as I can keep on top of, you know, what I put in her food and drink every day. But if Sade was to come to the realisation,

that's what I meant, come to the realisation that she didn't want to be with you anymore, what would be your ideal place for her to break that news to you? Home. In the marital home?

In the marital home. Wow. Surely. Who leaves? What about a slow-cooked meat restaurant? I'm there to enjoy the meat. That would sully the flavour of the brisket.

I didn't go with some delightful chef and spend 18 hours slow-cooking a brisket to be broken up with. Yeah, but then you can console yourself with the food. With more meat. Yeah. Not only broken up at home, I will then go to the meat restaurant. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah.

I think I'd like to be dumped in the ocean. You know, so you're going for a swim and then Aaron's like, I'm calling the wedding off and I can just sort of like. My tears become the sea. When you said dumped in the ocean, I just imagined he was just like hiffing you in the ocean. Dumping you and dumping you. You're dumped.

I'm done with you. Splash. Yeah. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do you know, did you see the news last night or the news story going around about how they found homo sapien remains in Europe that now they think we arrived 12,000 years? We.

Our ancient ancestors arrived in Europe 12,000 years earlier than predicted. So now they're like, there would have been a time where there was a Neanderthal or as they like to say, Neanderthal. Yes, Neanderthal. Neanderthal.

Because the TH is like Scandinavian TH. Like Thor, they say Thor. Thor. So Neanderthal. Thor, yeah. We coexist, they say Thor. Thor. So Neanderthal. Thor, yeah. We coexisted with them for way longer in Europe than previously thought. Now, that was on the news. My children had a question, what's a Neanderthal?

Yeah. And I did. Did you correct them and say Neanderthal? Yeah. Did you say, oh, Jennifer, you go to bed. It's a Scandinavian TH pronunciation. Did you say, yeah, I'll tell you go to bed. It's a Scandinavian TH pronunciation. Did you say, yeah, I'll tell you in a second, daddy's just got to go to the toilet.

And then you Google it. Well, I didn't know. I said that from what I've seen, like pictures of recreations of the skull, it was a more prominent brow and forehead and maybe the jaw and stuff stuck out a little bit more. Right. And then I was like, I'm pretty sure they were smaller than us. Yes, they were.

Like shorter and everything. And so that led to some Googling. Okay. Yeah. Which led me to today's fact of the day, which blew my mind. We were taller on average, humans, were taller on average 16,000 BC than we are now. Because you know when you see like suits of armor and everything and they're smaller.

Yeah, real little. Like, you know, 1500s, everything was a lot smaller. You see like those really old houses in England and the door frames are so small. It's because people were smaller. Some of them were hobbits too, weren't they? There were hobbits around too. There was a few hobbits too, weren't they? There were hobbits around too.

There was a few hobbits hooning around. But we were taller before civilization than we are now. What made us shrink? So we've gone tall, really short, back to medium tall. The average male, according to skeletons and stuff that have been found from 16,000 BC, was 1 metre 80 tall. Oh, wow. That was the average height. And now, even after, you know, like the last 150 years,

when there's been civilisation and nutrition and everything's been better. Like the Dutch is a great example. The Dutch were very short people. Were they? Now they're very tall. Like the Dutch is a great example. The Dutch were very short people. Were they? Now they're very tall. And then they're very, very tall. I think they in the Western world have had the sharpest incline in average height as of, you know, crops and farming

and nutrition's been more balanced. Windmills. But yeah, we're 176 centimetres males on average now, but we were 180 before civilisation. Wow. And I don't really have an answer for why. It will be just food, eh? Like how we eat, what we eat.

Yeah, but what were we eating back then? That made us so tall. That made us taller then. Oh, I don't know. Fresh. More running, more hunting. Yeah, maybe more hunting. More. And females as well. Females were

1 metre 67 in 10,000 BC. Yeah. And now 1 metre 64. Producer Jared's saying it's because we don't need to reach for apples on the tree now. So we were stretching up. We've got apple pickers for those. Well, there it is.

We've got ladders and yeah, exactly. We created a ladder so we just got shorter. We've got apple pickers for those Well there it is We've got ladders Yeah exactly We created a ladder So we just got shorter We got ladders So we got shorter Somebody got them down And put them in a basket And now we pick them up

Easy You know from like Neanderthals Neanderthals To Homo sapiens Is there another Is there That's the missing link Is there another thing

There is eh Homo erectus And then Homo sapiens And then the Homo And then the Homo Homo erectus. And then homo sapiens. And then the homo simpsons. And then the homo simpsons. Yeah, great. That's the... Yeah, the last bit.

That's that chart. Thank you for clarifying that for me. Absolutely not a problem. I'd say we were factual until about one and a half minutes ago. Yeah. Very true. So today's fact of the day

is humans on average were taller 16,000 BC than we are now. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do-do. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. I've just seen this has come from a at extra.co.nz email. This bad news you've received. Wow. Maybe I shouldn't jump on this.

It wasn't sent from 2003 when people still use Extra. Is Extra still a thing? I think they, didn't they change them over? Or can, yeah, change them over. To what? Still a thing. Still a thing. It's still a thing? I think they, didn't they change them over? Or can, yeah, change them over. To what? It's still a thing. What about Yahoo? Are we still Yahooing?

Yeah, my parents Yahoo. My parents use a Yahoo. Hotmail? Or MSN? They don't have a Hotmail. At MSN.com. Who the other day was it you that was after your Hotmail? Yeah, I was looking after it.

Trying to find my Hotmail. Yeah. Can't get into it. Miss underscore B underscore haved at Hotmail.com. Miss B. Haved. Oh, there she is. I'm so embarrassed. Hot Ro. Yeah. Can't get into it. Miss underscore B underscore haved at hotmail.com. Miss B. Haved. Oh, there she is. I'm so embarrassed. Hot Roxy babe.

Anyway, I've received an email from a email at extra.co.nz. Yeah. And the subject was just Hayley Sprout and it came direct

to inbox. You know how I'm on a Gmail on this. This is my personal. It's not a spam. Email. And it didn't go to spam.

Okay. So maybe I should take this as wrote. Carl Sproul has died. Oh, not Uncle Carl. In a car crash with his entire family in Switzerland. Oh, goodness. On May 11th, 2017. Also a while ago.

Five years ago. What day? May 17th. May 11th, 2017. Also a while ago. Five years ago. What day? May 17. May 11, 2017. Carl Sproul. S-P-R-O-U-L-L. The same spelling. Carl, K or a C? K. Okay. I don't know of a Carl. Haven't met him. But apparently he's very wealthy. Okay.

He has left behind, because his entire family died in this car crash. I'm so sorry to the wider Sproul family. He left behind an estate of 18 million US dollars. I've got questions. Yeah. We're New Zealanders. He's in Switzerland.

Why are we talking about US dollars? Let's talk about Mark. Is it the Marks? They didn't go with the Euro, did they? No, they have Swiss francs. Swiss francs. Swiss francs, yeah. Who's the croner?

Oh, Norway. And I would like to speak to you about his will and your, meaning my, legal entitlement to his estate. I served as his personal attorney for many years before his death. Please get in touch via email with your contact details and your phone number. His personal... Regards, Christian Munger.

His personal attorney has an extra hotmail, an extra email account. Yeah, it's not signed to the... He doesn't have a work email. Right. You know, Mune Duran Associates or something like that. And honestly, I'm just devastated by the news. Because it's come to direct to my inbox, I'm imagining that this is true.

I've messaged my father to see if this is his uncle or someone. But yeah, but see then, why would he have not gone? If it's his uncle, then your father's still alive. He would be in line for the fortune. Have you messaged them back? I have emailed them back. I said, oh my god, Christian! I have been...

Oh my god! E-R-M-A-G-A-H-H-H-H-D-D-D. Oh my god, Christian!R-M-A-G-A-H-H-H-H-D-D-D. Oh my God, Christian. I have been absolutely beside myself for five years wondering what the heck happened to my wonderful great uncle Carl. I hope he left me a good chunk of money because I really want to buy a Tesla. Okay.

Now, I don't want to give him my number. So I said I'd prefer to communicate via email so I have a record of our conversations. I had an accident of my own last year and have been left with short-term amnesia. And I lost my leg. Can't wait to hear more. Hayley.

Why did you say you lost your leg? Just for some sympathy? Yeah, well, I wanted a little bit more slice of the pie. Yeah. Right, okay. And if it's a scammer, he's immediately going to stop now. I'm tugging at the heartstrings. Yeah.

I've got amnesia. I've lost my leg in a horrendous accident. I'm beside myself. The next time he emails back, you've got to email back like, sorry, who's, oh, I've just read my previous email again. Yes. I've got amnesia. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. You have to remind me your business with me. Yeah. Oh, Christian, I beg your pardon. Do you know that there's not a single Carl Sproul? I've Googled it and there's some other Sprouls,

but Carl Sproul, no Carl Sprouls as a Google search result. If you search Carl Sproul, the first thing that comes up is Hayley Sproul. Yeah, from the age of 16, Hayley Sproul's mum was convinced her daughter was pregnant. Convinced her daughter was pregnant. So that's an article about PCOS, by the way. Right. I'm not pregnant at 16. I think it's more the fact that you're not the girl about town at 16.

I had what she wanted. I tell you what, if she's not pregnant, she will be soon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bye, girl. Parties. Holla. No, I had a lovely little boyfriend. A good Christian boy.

Right. Anyway, so I just wanted to welcome the listeners into this drama as it continues. Keep us updated. Yeah, and I do want to let you know that when I get my slice of this pie, I will be donating a lot of it to charity. And the surgery to get my leg fixed. And my amnesia fixed. And you'll be driving a Tesla.

And I'll have a Tesla, baby. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Have you watched on Netflix yet The Tinder Swindler? I haven't but I've heard rave reviews. Yeah it's one of the most watched shows in the country this week or movies I should say because it's a doco

right? It's a doco, it's a film, it's a one off it's just like an hour and a half or something like that I watched it a couple of days ago and I found it really really interesting it's about a guy who basically like lives this rich looking life. He lures in beautiful women. They go on a date.

He says he's going to fly them. He just makes them fall in love with him basically. And then he says he gets in trouble with like smuggling diamonds and gets money out of them. And it was something like one woman alone had $250,000 to this guy. So it was like a million bucks that he was like scamming these poor women out of. Really interesting. Anyway, it kind of makes sense of this study that has been done in New Zealand that looks at our dating app habits.

Because you want to know who you're going on a date on. Yeah, totally. Before you go on this date. And the study revealed that a whopping 67% of New Zealand online daters have a massive secret cyber stalk of their matches before even meeting them in person. I'm not on dating apps, but man, if I see someone and I'm like, that person looks a little bit familiar or I've got questions about that person

or who is that, I'll go on. I'll give them a 25-minute. Yeah. 25 minutes. That's expensive. Yeah, because you've got to – sometimes it's that second page on the Google search that really tells you about these people. So what, you'll do the socials?

You'll sweep the socials? Sweep socials through, yeah. A classic Google is good. Like any articles, police charges. Yeah, yeah, totally. Which is really good to know. Put their name and where they're from and type news in. Because then if they've been in a news article for something,

it might be like winning the science fair. But it also could be like abduction. They could be the Tinder swindler. They could be. They could be. So 67% of us do a massive stalk. The study's kind of angling it like, oh my gosh, we're stalkers.

But I would absolutely do this too to find out as much as I could. Yeah, it's just a background check, right? And they're saying that 37% of those people then unmatch that person because of something that they've found. So no, like Tinder or whatever is your like golden presentation of who you are. Your hottest photos.

You know, you're really selling yourself. And then they might go on Instagram, which again is like more pictures. They can really see you and your kind of life you live in. They might find your Facebook, which is some tagged photos that are perhaps not as well lit. And you might be at a Wellington protest. You might be at a Wellington protest. Sure. With a Jacinda is Stalin sign perhaps.

That was one I saw yesterday. Yeah. And so they unmatch that person based on that. I think that you're entitled to. Yeah. If Jacinda was Stalin, you wouldn't be protesting outside there. You'd be in a gulag somewhere hidden in the shameful back blocks of New Zealand somewhere.

Just when you said Google the name, the place, and then news, I thought I'd do myself. But it's hard when you're in a public-facing sort of role because then you've got all sort of interviews you did about your cat and stuff. No, nothing interesting. No crimes committed. Oh, no. No, no.

Are we not mentioning that one? No, no, we'll just hide that one. Oh, what did you do? No, no, no, no. So everybody at home, you can just Google that now. That should be pretty easy to find. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.