ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 11th March 2022

Episode Date: March 10, 2022

Top 6: Background Checks  Silly Little Poll!  Final Rankings!  Vaughans Warning  The Impossible Phoner  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Try their refreshing McCafe iced coffee. It's available now at Macca's. I just went to the bathroom. I sidled up to the urinal and it's a hanging off the wall,

one man ceramic urinal. I mean it's a twoman ceramic urinal if you... What? Are there urinals in the men's toilet? Yeah. Way quicker. There's two of them, but they're too close together. They're too close together.

There's room for three or two with spacing. Yeah. I don't understand. Anyway, carry on. I don't understand them. I sidle up to the urinal and start to prepare for said urination, and as I get it out, a mosquito flies out of the water in the bottom of the urinal. Like I'm in some swamp, some stagnant pond.

A mosquito flies out from under the ceramic cap that hides the shameful Weezwater. It flies out. And I'm like, ah, mosquito. And I lean back. I'm like, ah. It lands straight on my penis. Really? The mosquito is straight on my penis.

Now, I have begun the flow. I can't whack it. I can't whack it. Shake it away? It's going to go everywhere. Did you brush? I can't stop. It was on there.

And I was like, ah. And I tried to create an airflow to drag the mosquito off. Because as yet, I don't know if it penetrated the surface. I've never, ever had a mosquito. I've had mosquito bites everywhere. They love me. Fingers are the worst because it's so close to the bone. But this is the first time on your dick.

The first time anywhere near the penis. First time on the dick. First time anywhere near near the penis. First time on the dickie. First time anywhere near the penises. Penises? Peni. Just a penis. Secrets out. Well, I've got two penises.

And so I'm creating air to try to, and it eventually like leaves and it's on the wall and I just bam, slam it straight against the wall. But as yet, I don't, I haven't got itching yet, but I know there can be a delay in itching. You know when you squash a mozzie and there's blood? I took a photo. That'll be your dick blood. That's your dick. Nah.

What do you reckon? Oh, God. I thought that was your dick. I thought you were showing us a photo of your penis. My penis has a lifeline and a love line. Not with my hand from where I slammed it against the wall. No blood. No blood. So, fingers crossed that it didn't

Yeah because you know Zika There's Zika malaria You don't want Zika malaria in your willy Oh my god I remember when Zika was our biggest worry That's like 5 years Oh my god that's 4 years ago Because I remember we went to Fiji for my mum's 60th She just turned 64

She was really worried about Zika She wasn't worried about Zika, but my brother was like, we can't go. Did you get a vaccine? Did you get a shot? No. So I found a story yesterday. This was in my prep last night.

We didn't get the chance to talk about it, but 2 billion genetically modified mosquitoes have been cleared for release in California and Florida. Why are they releasing them? So they're releasing them because i believe these ones um what do mosquitoes do for us well they they can't spread diseases these ones because they've been genetically modified oh why do we need them at all what does that part of the ecosystem what part of the how does the mosquito help us? That's what I want to know about the world. How does the mosquito?

So what they've done is they've made it so that the males are infertile. Oh, wow. But that means they won't be able to breed. So they can breed, but they produce infertile offspring. So mosquitoes will just die out? No, because they're making them. They're making them, but they won't be able to make the next generation though That's strange

The largest contribution to This is from Te Papa I trust them Dot guft dot nz mosquito facts The largest contribution is the larvae of mosquitoes Live in water and provide food for fish and other wildlife Including larger larvae of other species Such as dragonflies

You've probably got larvae on your dick I don't want a larvae dick I don't want a larvae dick. Ooh, larvae dick. I don't want a larvae dick. Quick, wipe it for me. Can you get a larvae dick out in there? Put it away. That's Warren's new nickname, larvae dick.

Oh, larvae dick. Oh, my God. There is. There's a bite. There's a dragonfly in there now. Oh, God, yeah. See, boy, you've got a swamp down there, do you? I've got to go, ah! Do your belt up. This is the now. Oh, God, yeah. See, boy, you've got a swamp down there, do you? I've got a guy. Ah!

Do your belt up. This is the workplace. Yes, it's in my swamp. Ah, Shrek's down there now, too. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Happy Friday morning. Morena, it's Friday. I did a double rat yesterday. You did one last night, one this morning. Yeah. You're all good? I'm all good. Good.

I think I've just, um, ah. Just got a bit of a scratchy throat. You know, like sleeping with the fan on, and then you get a little bit chilly in the night. I'm all right. Okay. Now, I was just trying to work out how many, three weekends

of daylight savings left. This weekend and then the next one and then the one after that's when it changes on the Sunday. At the end of that one, yeah. So, gotta make the most of the next three weekends. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, let's party. Because, you know, daylight savings is the end of the world. Well, it gets dark. You don't want to be outside, do you? That's the new Tourism New Zealand thing, isn't it? Summer's not over yet. Oh, is it? Yeah, like, get out there.

Go on. Summer's not over. At least you're isolating. You don't hide it around. Half the country seems to be doing it at the moment. Yeah. The top six Is coming up on the show

Yeah The top six things I would want to have A Tinder background check Apparently you can Order these now Well in America You can

They've teamed up With a background check service Yeah So they'll look into That guy that looks hot But also Like there's something In you just like

Hmm Hell If a guy was super hot, but he had a few convictions, where would you draw the line? Depends on the convictions. Okay. What are we talking, you know?

Breaking and entering. Yeah, he's alright. It's okay. It's kind of cute. Your assaults, not so much for me. Not so much, yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, fair, fair. We've all got a pass. What about some light fraud? Yeah, that's hot. That's hot. Yeah, fair, fair. We've all got to pass. What about some light fraud? Yeah, that's hot. That's hot. Yeah, then white collars. Okay.

Would you be nervous for someone to do a background check on either of you? Hubba hubba. Oh, no. There's nothing there. I don't think I've got anything either. I got a speeding ticket once, like years and years ago. Yeah, I think I had a parking fine. He was bloody hiding.

He was hiding. He was one of those motorcycle cops hiding. Yeah, filling his coffers. And his tight pants. He had of those motorcycle cops hiding. Yeah, filling his coffers. And his tight pants. He had those tight bike pants on. He can stop me. Keep talking. Is he on time today?

Yeah, what else? What did you see? I just speed up. Says truncheon. Pardon? No, he didn't have a truncheon. Didn't have a truncheon. What's a truncheon?

One of those batons. Hey, that's hot. Yeah. All right, well, the top six'll delve into that soon on the show. Next, though. There's a couple that have been together for 30 years. That's my entire life, basically. And they haven't done this one thing.

And I don't buy it. You're calling BS. I'm calling BS. All right, it's next. Imagine Dragons, ZM. Here's something that's going to make you feel sick. There's a couple in Virginia that have been together for 30 years, been married for 30 years.

They have seven kids, almost soon to be three grandkids. And they are claiming that they have never had a single argument. Not a single argument. In their whole 30 years. In their whole 30 years of being married, they even say they have never even raised their voices at each other. Someone's just making all the decisions then, and someone's an absolute flop, right?

Well, who do you think it is? One of them is a marketing professional. The other, the woman, is a master life coach. She's wearing the pants. He's just doing what he's told. She's the life coach life coach. She's wearing the pants. He's just doing what he's told. She's the life coach, right? She's life coaching them. She's life coaching them in the moment, I reckon.

Never raising your voice with kids. Seven kids they've had. Come on. What a load of rubbish. Absolute load of BS, I'm calling it. They say, you know, they have, obviously, they've gotten upset with each other from time to time. Right.

I'm like multiple times a day. What, raising your voice or just arguing? Getting upset with each other. They view anger as miscommunication. Oh my gosh, this is, it's just painful. They say when you argue, there is no winning or losing. An argument is there to expose things. If you resort to fighting, you've already lost.

They shared seven tips on how to live a life like this. Okay, go on. Number one, share feelings and expectations. I like keeping them in. Yeah, burn them down till they explode. I like having expectations in. Yeah, I'm burying them down until they explode. I like having expectations but not telling Aaron what they are and just expecting him to know what my expectations are. If he doesn't, then I'll get angry.

Yeah, but why don't you tell him so that he knows? Because he should know. He should be able to work it out. Your expectations are baking soda and his not knowing is vinegar and soon enough the ratio is going to be right and it's going to pop your top. Second tip, challenge each other to grow. Get a grip.

Number three, read the body language. So with that... Yeah, but that's the best way to rock somebody up. Yeah, it is. You read the body language and you're like, okay, I know what I'm going to do here. Yeah, let's throw down. I imagine I can't pick a lock,

but I imagine it's like picking a lock. Yeah, absolutely. Number four, never go to bed angry. That's bullshit. How do you do that? How do you do it? Like, then you have to fold. You have to lose.

Yeah. And people don't want to fold that easily, do they? Yeah, and if just before bed you're like, we shouldn't go to bed angry, and they don't even answer you, or they just look and then roll over and they're already in bed and they're happy to go to bed angry. Yeah, you're like, okay, here we go. Finally, I guess we're going to bed furious. Number five, avoid the word should, they say. in bed and they're happy to go to bed anyway. You're like, okay, here we go. Bed furious.

Number five, avoid the word should, they say. Romantic partners need to be clear of the word should. Holding the thought that your spouse should do something or should be different is a bad idea. You should know. I want an investigation into this couple. I know. Communicate, communicate, communicate is tip number six. And number seven, don't sabotage something good.

See, that feels like they're just going, well, I won't upset the cart. Yeah. You know, we'll just leave that, even though that makes me incredibly unhappy. Yeah, you did cheat on me, Philip. Yeah, but I dare not break this 30-year streak of not fighting. We can't start now. Expert, like relationship experts have weighed in. They're like, this isn't good.

This is no good. They say it's because of communication that they're actually not communicating. You're not letting it out, are you? No, you gotta. You gotta have a rip roar every now and then. Punch, you know, fist through walls or whatever. You know what I mean? I went through a loaf of bread at Aaron's head once. I think we'd have been together for a few months.

It was a very soft, very soft white. Right. White bread. Okay, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dollar loaf. Well, that should have been a red flag for him back then.

I don't know. Yeah, he had the opportunity to run. I made it quite clear I was a psycho. Did he catch it? No, no, it hit the wall. If you threw a loaf of bread at someone and they just

caught it one-handed, that would be a sweet move. Yeah, I'd be like, I got a lot of respect for you, man. Oh, yeah, there it is. Reflexes. All right. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Yeah, I'd be like, I got a lot of respect for you, man. Oh, yeah. There it is. Reflexes. All right. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley.

Well, this statistic came to us from the US, and this actually happened to you yesterday, Hayley. All right. Seven out of 10 Americans hold on to go toilet till they get home. And I'm talking number twos. Twosies. Twosies. Yeah.

And so people will deal, 64% of people that responded to this study, this questionnaire, reported battling constipation and, you know, gurgling stomach and all the feels from not using the bathroom at work because they needed to wait till they got home.

Oh, no, you can't wait. The situation yesterday was different. I don't wait. I'll go anywhere. Anytime. You can't hold it in. Not with the guts like mine. But yesterday... Because you've got the PSI

P-C-O-S It's got nothing to do with my guts. But I don't know. That's a separate issue I'm dealing with I thought that was in some way related No My ovaries No but I assumed that affected

Nah Other aspects Because it affects like hormones and stuff Yeah yeah Nah I've just got weird gut health Oh okay So when a number twosies comes a knocking I'm like

You can't wait Carpe diem Yeah You've got to go Carpe date. Carpe diem. Yeah. You've got to go. Carpe diem. Carpe diem. But yesterday, so at TVNZ at the moment, have you been paying attention,

filmed last night, it's on tonight, 8.30 on 2. Might I say, pretty good at it. Oh man, it was electric. We had fun, eh? Yeah. Well, you've won an award, so it bloody should be. New Zealand's best presenter of entertainment. How did you feel about being outshone by Brinley last night?

Sorry? Beg your pardon? What? I didn't... Do you think Brinley outshone me? Don't watch the show. I mean... Don't watch the show.

Watch next week. But because we're in TVNZ and we're very close usually where we hang out before the show to the news, they've separated us because of COVID. We can't get Simon Dallow sick. If a bunch of comedians in the building get Simon Dallow sick, we're going to get a lot of trouble. So their show would be immediately cancelled.

Yeah, they're basically cocooning Simon Dallow in his own kind of bubble with his own toilet. His own toilet. So we are down in the loading dock with two portaloos is where they've got us. Oh, wow. We'll take it. Better than being off air.

So yesterday I felt knocking on heaven's door. And I was like, here it is. I've waited for this moment. And ideally you don't do it in a portalo but, you know, mama's got to go. Could you have asked Simon Dello just this one time? I'm not going to text Simon and be like,

girl's got a dump. Can I come upstairs? Okay. But I went to the Port-a-Loo and the cleaner was cleaning them and they're side by side. And then she was like, I'll just go in the other one and start cleaning that and I'll clean yours after. And I was like, well, I'm not doing that now, am I?

And that's what this study looked at, is the top reason people avoid using the toilet at work for number twos is fear of taking longer on the toilet than a co-worker or other co-workers hearing them. There's no shame in taking longer than you're at work. Have you guys noticed

people from upstairs or people because we've got a five-story building people will come down to the ground floor toilets, our toilets. Are we the pooloo? And then they'll go up to their level. Are we the pooloo?

Or people will go up to level one or two. I had not seen that. And I've seen people come out of the toilet and then into the lift in the stairwell. And I'm like... We will not be the pooloo. Because I go downstairs too. And I take a shit on the floor in the garage. Right in front of Mike Hosking's car.

He's got a Porsche at the moment. It's a small car to hide behind. Right. But you'll just do that in his car park, will you? In front of it, yeah. Again, because you fear of taking longer in the toilet than a co-worker. Absolutely. But we all do it.

We all do it. Well, we knew someone that would go home if they were at work. And they lived like a 15-minute drive without traffic. Like, that's a thing. We all do it. Well, we knew someone that would go home if they were at work. And they lived like a 15-minute drive without traffic. Like, that's nuts. My stomach would be, you'd be able to hear it on the mic going. We don't need that. All right, next on the show, the top six. Tinder is teaming up with a background check agency in the US.

Not something you can get here, but you can actually get a background check on a potential date. Yeah, so I've got the top six things I'd want to know after a background check. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. Delicious water. Just had a great sip. Yeah, you were bloody relishing that sip.

It was the perfect temperature. Like cold. See, it's kind of... You're not supposed to drink like ice cold water when you're about to do a voicing, eh? No. Because it seizes everything up. You're supposed to drink like warm water with a lemon wedge. Yeah, or a whiskey.

I'm for it. Today's top six. The top six things I'd want from a Tinder background check. Tinder teamed up with just kind of a background check company, right? Yeah. It's in America. It's in America. Because you know in America, you could run a background check on anyone, right?

And it's a big industry. I just looked it up. It's worth billions of dollars a year. So your information is just public. Like if you paid money to learn about me, I don't have a say in it. And there are heaps of... Land of the free! True, they can do whatever they want.

Whereas here, the only way you can get a background check is you've got to do the police document and pay like money. Whereas there are just organisations in America, heaps of companies, you just pay a few bucks and get this info. So Tinder are going to team up with a, well, it's a partnership with their parent company. I didn't know they owned heaps of other apps.

Like what? Yeah, I remember when they sold it. They own OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Hinge, and Azar, among others. Oh, so all dating apps. Yeah. So this is only in America. You'll get two free background checks and after that,

it's going to be $2.50. That's not bad. Not bad. $2.50? Yeah, so it's a non-for-profit group that aims to make background checks more affordable and easier. So you don't end up with a psychopath.

Yeah, but you do need a lot of info about them. So you've got to have like phone numbers, names. So the more info you can get out of someone, the better the background check. Right, so you start chatting with them. Yeah, you couldn't just do it after a hot swipe. And I think you're going to need the blue tick as well.

Oh, yeah. So, yeah. It'll give you like their police record and stuff. Mine's boring. I always feel a bit disappointed every time I get asked to do a police check. Maybe something's on there a bit fun. time I get asked to do a police check. I think I've been asked to do one.

a bit fun? You haven't been asked? I don't think so. What is it? Did it say speeding tickets and stuff? Yeah. That's all though, right?

Maybe your wild driving will come up. Maybe. You keep burning Vaughn off on the motorway. Oh my God, yesterday. You're so slow. I was doing the speed a little bit.

Well, a little bit under. Just in the safe zone. Yeah, a little bit under. I was a little bit over. Just on the safe side. Yeah, a little bit under. I was a little bit over. So I've got today the top six things I'd want from a Tinder background check. Okay. If I was going to run a check for my $2.50. Number six on the list.

This claim of being six foot tall. Is it? Everybody's always adding an inch, right? Oh, always adding an inch. If someone said six foot, it's two. No one's six foot. Everybody's under or over. I'm six foot.

What, you've got to be five eleven or six one. I'll be six one then. Are you? I'm six foot. On the dot? Exactly, yeah, on the dot. Not six foot three quarter?

Depends if I'm in my heels. Barefoot. Barefoot. But I need to know, there's this claim that everybody's making it a flat six foot. Go find one of those

machines at the chemist where you put in a dollar and it tells you your height. And your weight. Do they still have those? You stand on them, eh? And then, yeah, I don't know.

I haven't seen them. I don't think it's... I don't think they are. I think it's frowned upon now because it wouldn't take anything into consideration. Yeah, right. What did it tell you?

Your bone density or something? How was it? Shooting a laser beam through you? Yeah, I've got scales that say bone density. Well, I don't need that. How does it know? Yeah. How does it know?

Can you turn up the bone density? They do. It sends a thing through your feet. Right. Because I'm big boned. Are you big boned? I'm big boned. We'll see.

Get on the scales. Yeah, yeah. Bring them in. Number five on the list of the top six things, I'd want from a Tinder background check. Who's the hottie in the group photo? You know, you're like, that's not you. Like at least on an Instagram photo, you can click on the tags.

Yeah. None of that on Tinder. Yeah. Don't tag your hot friends in a group photo. Thoughts on matching with someone and then asking them about the hot friend? Go for it. Absolutely. You've got to do what you've got to do to find love.

Yeah. That's fate. What a story for the hot friend. Go for it. Absolutely. You've got to do what you've got to do to find love. Yeah, that's fate. What a story for the grandkids. Yeah. So your grandmother, the hottie of the group, was with some faggo, and so I matched with the faggo. I took a chance, and here we are, happily married. Number four on the list of the top six things

I'd want to know from a Tinder background check. How long did they linger on my photo before they swiped me? Oh, yeah. Imagine if it gave you the stats. Yeah. That'd be cool. It starts timing the moment your profile comes up to their swipe.

Oh, God. What if it's like 0.5 seconds? No. Oh, 0.5 seconds, yes, though. That's high praise. 0.5 seconds, no. But then imagine if they were like eight seconds, then yes. They really...

Ouch. It was a conundrum. It was a real conundrum for you, them. Number three on the list of the top six things I'd want to know from a Tinder background check. When was the hot photo taken? Oh, yes. Everybody's got kind of a hot photo of it. It could have been seven years ago.

Well, it's a bit of a giveaway now if you've got hot travel photos. Because you haven't left the country for at least two years. Absolutely. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six things I'd want to know from a Tinder background check.

Where's the photo of their mother or father I want to see when I'm going to be married to in 30 years? Like how well they age. Yeah. Yeah.

How well they do age. It would be helpful. It's going to happen here. And number one on the list of the top six things I'd want to know from a Tinder background check. Why are they single?

Oh, yeah. Okay. Why? Why? Good looking, taking all the boxes. I want to know from a Tinder background check, why are they single? Oh, yeah, okay. Why? Why? Good looking, taking all the boxes. There's got to be a reason here. Some underground crazy.

Their weak point could be. Could very well be. That is today's top six. Well, Jetstar have joined the Afterpay family. You can now Afterpay Jetstar flights. Oh, that's dangerous, isn't it? Yeah, for fortnightly repayments. So, yeah, you can buy your flights.

I've never used Afterpay. Yeah, but kind of blows my mind. Well, I just, if I need to, I just use a credit card and then pay it off that way. But Afterpay is the new credit card. It's coming for credit cards, isn't it? Yeah. Especially Australia and New Zealand. The market's like massive.

Say you went out and you spent $1,000 on a credit card buying eight items from eight different stores, but it's all on the credit card. Now you did that with afterpay. So it gets to the time where you've got to pay your minimum credit card amount and you're like, oopsie, can't do, get charged one incremental fee. Yep.

Whatever it is, the interest accrued. You did the same thing with afterpay. You can make, let's say, six of the afterpay payments, but you default on two for that specific round. What's going to be the biggest thing? I think it's afterpay. I think they know that. I don't think...

I'm not here to promote credit cards because I think people can get themselves in a lot of trouble with them as well. It's money that you don't have that doesn't exist and now it does exist and you owe it to somebody. I think that's the difference is like you... Like with credit cards, you can just go crazy and it's not your money and so it doesn't feel real.

Whereas with Afterpay, it is your money. It's just broken down in more kind of digestible bites. Right. So if you're getting something expensive and you're like, that's 400 bucks, you're like, or 100 bucks every fortnight, which is 50 bucks a week. And then you're like, I can see how I can afford that. But isn't that the great trick?

That's the great trick of afterpay. Because you're not paying it with interest, but then also with credit cards, if you pay them off in time, you're not paying it with interest either, are you? No. But there'll be a fee though. There'll be a, won't there be a transaction fee? Oh. Like a 1% or something?

Oh, maybe, but sometimes the retailers absorb that. Yeah. Because flights are expensive. I'd actually have to pay up a storm. And then you can go on holiday. Because that's the good thing. After pay, you get it now. You could book them now.

And then if you were doing it at Christmas, you've got full payments yeah to get it done I just looked at my inbox to see how much I use after pay after pay thanks for your payment thanks for your payment payment reminder thanks for your payment payment reminder thanks for your payment payment reminder I love it but I forget what it is and then it's hard because up on on your bank account it comes up as Afterpay. So it just says Afterpay. Oh, it doesn't say what?

It doesn't say Afterpay slash whatever store it is. Gotcha. Wow. So you lose track of, when you go through your bank account, which can be helpful when you're trying to hide purchases from a fiance perhaps. Because Afterpay was bought out last year for $39 million Australian. $39 million. I've seen that, my dudes. was bought out last year for 39 million Australian. 39 million dollars.

I've set up my dudes. And the financial year 2021, Afterpay had 3.6 million active customers. Yeah. It's genius. Here in Australia and a few are overseas.

It's just a way better lay-by. Remember lay-by? What was lay-by? Lay-by, you wouldn't get it until you paid it off. Yeah, so you'd go to a store, try on everything, you'd be like, yeah, I want this, I'm going to lay't get it. Lay by, you wouldn't get it until you paid it off. Yeah, so you'd go to a store, try on everything. You'd be like, yeah, I want this.

I'm going to lay by it. You'd have to do a minimum thing, and then you could ship away at it. And then once you'd paid it off, you got the thing. What was the one where you got to take it? Higher purchase. Higher purchase. Yeah, but there'd be heaps of fees on that. No, what's the thing we used to take something home? Can't remember.

And what would you do? Describe it. You'd, like, take something home, and we used to do a chk can't remember and what would you do how describe it you'd like take something home and we used to do a on the credit card but we wouldn't charge and then you would go home and try it all on with your clothes and stuff at home and then what you didn't like you could return take it out on take it out on that's a wild like that's this is when i used to work in fashion retail if they brought it back and it was damaged they brought it back and it was damaged you could be like well we've got your credit card details yeah this is so annoying people just listening to me trying to remember a word you take it out on you can loan it loan it yeah but you're not loaning it because they're not allowed to wear it it was always like i don't know what this is going to go with my wardrobe

but you'd be like you're going to take it at pro was always like, I don't know what this is going to go with my wardrobe. But you'd be like, you can take it out. Appro. Someone thank you to the person in the... I've never heard of that. I've never heard of Appro. Appro. Appro. Appro. Could you do that with a couch?

Take it home and see if it goes with the... No, I think it was mostly fashion retail. Take it out and Appro. You'd take it home and then you'd hang it up with your wardrobe and be like, this doesn't actually work with anything I have and you could bring it back.

The Asian Pacific Regional Office. No, I don't think that. Aerial Phenomenal Research Organisation. That doesn't actually work with anything I have and you could bring it back. The Asian Pacific Regional Office. No, I don't think that. Aerial Phenomenal Research Organisation. That doesn't feel right. Oh, what does APRO mean in retail? Approval of a purchase on APRO. So you took it on APRO. And then they could just ring you

and say, yeah, I like it. So run the details. You would be like, okay, I'll charge your card now. Huh. Man, Labour used to be so run the details. You would be like, okay, I'll charge your card now. Huh. Man, lay-by used to be so infuriating. You'd be like, oh. You'd walk past the shop and be like, my shoes are in there.

But then they could just sit there. You had to go in and be like, I want to put another five bucks on it. You used to have a receipt and you'd have to like take it to the counter and be like, hey, I've got a lay-by. So by the time you paid something off in the next year, it could be done that season. Oh, yeah. Totally out of fashion. You'd miss it. Yeah. I second home, it could be done that season. Oh, yeah, totally out of fashion. You'd miss it.

Yeah. I grew up, you didn't buy bloody anything if you couldn't afford it at the time. Everyone in my family is terrified of money. I want to see what the last thing I afterpaid was. Some knives. I got some knives. Some nice knives. I don't know why I afterpaid it.

I just like it. I just like drip feeding rather than big purchases. No, no. I'm a save and buy guy. Save and buy. You want it now. I want it now. Yeah.

Oh. Silly, silly, silly, that silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Well, today's silly little pole. Do you snooze your alarm or get up immediately? I've got strong opinions on this. Yes, I am. Before working in radio and getting

up at 4am, I would set like six alarms, I reckon, and snooze four of them. Like, I would just snooze, snooze, snooze all morning. But I had a more flexible schedule. I can't snooze at 4am or it's all over, over. So my alarm goes off now

at four and I get straight up. I have to. I'm the same. Because to me, if you're going to snooze four times, what's the snooze cycle? Ten minutes? Nine minutes. Nine minutes.

That is so much sleep you could be having uninterrupted. I know, but... Nearly 40 minutes. I was always like, I can't go from sleep to up. So I was always like, I don't mind having an interrupted sort of half hour or sometimes hour of like, because it from sleep to up. So I was always like, I don't mind having an interrupted sort of half hour

or sometimes hour of like, because it slowly gets me up. The worst is if you don't have to get up, but your partner. I was going to say, Aaron would like see me in the morning going, and turning on all my alarms. And he'd be like, please don't.

He's like, just set one. I was like, it doesn't work like that. He hates it. Because then you're doing that to him. Yeah. Whereas now I'm a very soft 4 a.m. alarm. Yeah, you just get to do it. If they ever dare say that, you get to yell something like,

you get up at that time of the morning then. You see what it's like. That's what you do. Yeah. And then they just like. What a great way to start the day. Yeah, yeah. No, that's why I like to wake everybody up when I'm leaving the house. If it's good enough for me, it's good

enough for everybody. Well, how do people feel with our silly little poll? This is, yeah, 65% of people snooze. Yeah, I'm a snooze. The majority. And 35% get up immediately. Also, I don't trust the snooze function.

What if you turn off the alarm? Easy to do. All the time I do that and then you wake up at like an hour later and you're like, what happened? I cannot believe I've made it this far.

It's March 11th. I cannot believe I've made it this far without missing a morning. Yeah, you're straight up, you're in. But that's the big,

the vast majority of people are snoozers. Okay. Some feedback on snoozing. Thank you, computer for letting me know my internet's been restored. Nicole said, I purposely set an earlier alarm because it's nice to know I can still sleep a bit longer if I want to. Yes.

It wakes you up and you're like, I don't want to get up. And you're like, I don't have to because I set that early. But then if that's every morning, I don't quite understand the logic there. I don't. Because if you can sleep in every morning, surely don't quite understand the logic there. I don't. Because if you can sleep in every morning, surely every morning you want a bit more sleep. I never wake up thinking, well, that was plenty. That's not how I ever wake up.

Does anyone ever wake up feeling like, yep, that was enough and now I'm awake? It must be weird. Can you imagine? To wake up and be like fully rested. Always need more. Even when I got like on the weekend sometimes I'll get like 11 hours. Oh, wow. And I'll wake up and be like fully rested. Always need more. Even when I got like on the weekend sometimes I'll get like 11 hours. Oh, wow. And I'll wake up and be like.

Could have done two more. I could absolutely keep sleeping. But I'm awake now. Yeah. Alicia says, I just can't help myself. My alarm could be set for 8.30. 8.30. 8.30.

Imagine. We're nearly going home. Imagine. Talking to the microphone. No, I'm going like this because people, I need to hear. People need to understand I'm exasperated. I'm moving back. It was like if we were talking and I moved back and I put my hands up,

they could hear it. Very Stanley Tucci, I will say. Very much. They can hear my frustration. It's a variety of sounds. But no, imagine an alarm going off at 8.30. I wake up before 8.30. I don't know when I've never not woken up before 8.30.

Even at the weekends, I'll never sleep in past 8.30 anymore. That used to be my life. 8.30 was like it. And my alarm could be set for 8.30, says Alicia, and I still snooze at least twice. Alicia is also in her profile picture holding a baby. How? How are you sleeping past 8.30 when there's a baby in your life? Or even if the baby's growing up now, the child. Magic baby. How? How are you sleeping past 8.30 and there's a baby in your life?

Or even if the baby's growing up now, the child. Magic. Magic baby. Bri says, I get up immediately. I hate snoozing. It's actually bad for your health. You can wake up feeling way worse if you snooze. I literally bounce out of bed. Okay, cool. No, I'm the same. That's me. I do that. What's worse than

feeling rock bottom most mornings? Honestly? That's just life, isn't it? Yeah, that's me. I do that. What's worse than feeling rock bottom most mornings? Honestly. I don't think. That's just life, isn't it? Yeah, that's it. You wake up feeling terrible and slowly the day gets better. I can't imagine the highlight of my day being waking up. No.

Everything from there is bad. At the end of the day, feeling terrible. Unless you're going on a holiday. Oh, yeah, unless you're going to the airport. Oh, no, because that's worse because I haven't slept properly all night because I'm so scared I'm going to sleep in. Oh, yeah, right. I've been waking up every half hour.

Every hour, yeah. Brittany says, not so much as a snooze, but some, not so much as a snooze, but sometimes it is. But the more time, but more time to be scrolling

on the phone and check the feeds. So she won't snooze, but she also won't bounce out of bed. Well, you've always got to run a check of the feeds. Yeah.

Oh yeah, but I do it on the toilet. You've got to get out of bed. That's the main thing. Yeah. Pop yourself on the low Instagram for about 10 minutes. Right. A little sit and scroll.

Yeah. I used to set an alarm for five minutes for one hour before I'd wake up. Oh, every five minutes for one hour before they'd wake up? No. Just have that whole hour sleeping peacefully and then get up. That's crazy. Then one day I decided no more of that, and now I get straight up when my alarm goes off the first time and I get one more hour of uninterrupted sleep.

That is good. I set my alarm for 5.30 a.m., says Coralie, so I can get up and jump on the treadmill before work, but I don't. I was going to say, what a hero. I go to bed every night feeling positive that I'm going to be getting up early, but I don't. I think the positive comes from the wine I drink after work. There we go.

The end of the day has got to be the highlight of the day. I snooze for an hour. I don't think it's a great idea, but I can't stop myself, says Amy. Is there any sort of like online coaching you could do? Hypnosis. Yeah. To get up, to get up. To actually enjoy getting out of bed.

I did this towards, over the Christmas break. I was like, okay, how do I get up at four? What's the power, the science of napping and sleep? There is, no, there is no way. You just got to get up and face the slog of the day, the slog of life. That sounds horrible. Hush on.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. That sounds horrible. Look at a friend that works in recruiting. James. Oh, yeah. Well, you figure what James did for a job. He's not Chandler Bang. We regularly hear James' story about recruiting. It's not like he's never told us what we did for a job. Don't mention that.

Oh, no, no, no. I won't even mention any of James' stories because he's professional and he's not supposed to tell us. I mean, he doesn't tell us. He doesn't tell us at all no I won't even mention Any of James' stories Because he's professional And he's not supposed to tell us I mean he doesn't tell us He doesn't tell us at all He doesn't tell us But I imagine If you did work in recruiting

You'd have some great yarns I bet You bet In fact If you work in recruiting You could ring up now And tell stories On behalf of other people

Absolutely That you've represented But there was a BuzzFeed article Where That kind of Surmised The Reddit article. So this is meta internet here.

Yeah. Layers, man. Where someone asked HR and recruiters and people who hire, maybe even if you were in a small company and you did the hiring personally, what was a red flag, an instant moment of this person's not getting this job? Do you reckon if you were doing an interview and you got that red flag, you wouldn't bother doing the interview?

If you were like, a red flag so vibrant red. What, pre-interview red flag? Say they turn up an hour late. Oh, yeah. If they turned up super, super late and came and said, I'm sorry I'm late, something happened, I'd be like, that's all good, but it's not going to work.

We're not going to do the interview. I love a good excuse. I'd be willing to hear, but it, I'd be like, that's all good, but it's not going to work. We're not going to do the interview. I love a good excuse. I'd be willing to hear, but it would have to be a bloody good yarn. Oh, yeah. A bloody good yarn. But then you're just going to get yarns the whole time you work with them. Yeah, I love a yarn though. I'd hire a guy who could spin a good yarn over someone who has the skills.

Yeah. But they tuned up an hour late to the job. Yeah, I know. But if they told me a story with a beginning, middle and end. Did a bus crash? Did a bus flip? Well, maybe. Did you save someone's life?

Yeah, was there a fire? Did you pull a body out of a burning car? Yeah. You guys are hiring someone who's going to be always late. Have they got bandaged hands? I'm running like a truth test on this yarn. I'm not just having a good yarn and letting them get away with it. No, I don't

mind if the yarn's fake as long as it's good. Yeah, so some of the people that messaged back said things like, I conduct interviews as part of hiring people and when they just start talking over you. That's a big red flag. They already think they're too advanced for this position. Somebody else said

yeah, the minute you show up late, I'll be forgiving of up to a few minutes. Yeah. An hour will not be tolerated. Second is the smelling like weed. Yeah, well, that'll do it. That's a giant red flag. Yeah.

Third is being rude to anybody before the interview. Yeah, because a lot of people do the reception test, don't they? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, test on the receptionist. Yeah, do you want a glass of water, that kind of stuff. Yeah. Fourth is any time they pull out their phone

and look at their phone during the interview process. During? I'm quite bad at that, being a relatively new Apple Watch owner, that if my wrist buzzes, and even when I'm listening to something, I look at that, which makes me look like I'm going, what's the time? How long is he prattling on for? Yeah. Yeah.

So yeah, there's a whole lot of ones. Somebody else said a guy arrived really late to an interview and then proceeded to blame us for having such a hard to find location. I'm like, well, I mean, this isn't already going super well. A few people saying that they were really aggressive in the job interview. The person who wanted the job was, like, aggressive. Wow. That's definitely not the way to go about it, is it?

You don't want to work with, you know, that, do you? I was going to say, I've only ever had one job interview. But I suppose auditions are interviews, aren't they? Yeah. When I was, you know, doing the audition circuit. Was there a time when you were doing an audition and you knew, oh, I'm not getting this? Yeah, but it was based on my terrible acting.

Nothing to do with my behaviour. Right. I kill it in a room. It's when I start acting that I go, nah. No, it's not happening. Lose confidence. Fill them with hope and then disappoint them. One of the standard questions asked in an interview,

this is again another respondent, is how do you handle multiple deadlines in a short time period? Right. You know, how do you handle

under pressure? And the person said, well, I do my best, but then if I realise I can't do it, I'll just call and sit. I mean, you've got to give

the points for honesty there. Well, they're not getting the job though, are they? Yeah. So we wanted to flip it around this morning. And have you been in a job interview the moment where you were like, oh, I'm not getting this job?

Oh. Maybe you farted, you know? True. Maybe it was a fart. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe you. Because that says a whole lot of things.

That says, okay, what's their diet like? Are they going to be reheating fish? They don't take care of themselves. They're going to be reheating fish in the lunchroom? Can't control their bowels. Yeah. Or maybe you, you know, swore, slipped up and swore, said something problematic.

Well, that's one of these things was they were doing an interview with someone and a female walked past the office and the guy said, do they all look like that, the work ground hair shit? Can you imagine that? Alright, well 0800DARLSATM is the number 9696. When did you realise that you weren't getting

the job in a job interview? Give us a call. We're talking about moments where perhaps you were in a job interview and you realised that you weren't getting the job. Where something happened and you were like, oh. I'm wasting my time here. You might have said something and instantly you're like, oh, shouldn't have said that. Yeah.

I'm not getting this. Can't take that back. No take backs. Let's take some calls. Astrid, what happened? It was actually with my cousin. She works for an HR recruitment. Yeah.

And they had set up an interview. The person never showed up like 15 minutes later, so they contacted her to see if everything was okay, and she said something urgent had come up, and if she could reschedule. So they gave her the benefit of the doubt, and the next day she shows up, and they checked in to be like, oh, you know, was everything okay, yada, yada, yada. And she said, oh, yeah, no, everything's fine. My husband just decided to take the day off, so we thought we'd go to the beach.

And the interview entered there. Oh, no. We thought we'd go to the beach. Unless they lived in Wellington, then you know you can't bid it on a good day. So you've got to, when it pops up, you've got to take advantage of that good day. You never know when that next beach day could be.

Exactly. Even in summer, you just don't. Astrid, thanks for your call. Anonymous. I work for a recruitment company, and I do, like, civil trades labour. So we recruit for, like, traffic control companies. Okay. And I get, I've had more than once people come and say they have psychosis,

or that they can see dead people and communicate with the dead. So we thought, probably not a great idea. We have you on traffic control in a car accident. Could be a good skill in that job. But you also don't want them stopping and starting traffic for ghosts that aren't there. No. Yeah. Honestly, the stories I have are books.

They are books on books. Write that book. I'll buy it. I love those industry secret books like the Hotel Babylon. Yeah. The Air Babylon. So good. Anonymous, thanks for your call.

Some other text messages in. Somebody said about five years ago I probably realised I wasn't going to get Any further When I was interviewing In an airline And I told them

They said What would you look forward to About the job And I said turbulence Oh god I really like turbulence It was in a group interview Everyone looked at me

A bit weird Looking back on it Yeah probably not Yeah That was probably the moment In a group interview For a fancy the moment yes and a group interview for a fancy athletic wear store

a group interview I don't know who does a group interview very like only one of you is getting this job yeah and you've got to

eyeball everyone else like I've done group auditions and it is it's an absolute like everyone's peacocking yeah is that what they want though

it's obviously they're lazy and saving time, right? Doing it all at once. The interviewer asked us all to say what sort of fruit we would be and why. Oh, my God. I'd walk out. I'm not doing that.

I had utter disdain for the question. And I believe it was far too obvious. It was written all over my face. So they looked at me and I was like, ugh, banana. Reluctantly. A grape. Reluctantly.

What fruit would you be? What are you basing that on? Yeah, I just want to sell some bloody yoga mats and tights. Yeah. Like. I'm tall. Yeah. I don't know.

I'm tall and white. Yeah, I'm a banana. What do you want me to be? It was a sales role I was applying for. I was asked to sell them something and I completely shat the bed and couldn't. You're going for sales roles? Yeah, you need to know. You need to be prepared for that.

When I was a chef, a 45-year-old man came in asking to be a dishwasher. I said, oh, can you bring me a CV? Just mostly important references, people I can call. The next day he brought in a CV written on two sheets of paper held together with a nail.

Say that again? Two pieces of paper? Two sheets of paper towel held together with a nail. No printer. I'd give him the job. It's hard to write on paper towel. It bloody is. And he's being resourceful. Yeah, absolutely.

I was going for an internal promotion and the interview panel wanted me to goss about my boss and I bad-mailed them, but I wouldn't join in. No. I was like, oh, I'm not only going to get this job, I don't really want to work for this company. Wow. Lucky escape. Some replies on Instagram. I farted very loudly trying to sell myself as a classy individual.

I would be like, good for you. You know what I mean? Yeah. I went for a job interview at Hannah's and the interviewer said, where are your shoes from? And I was going to say Hannah's, but then I realized that they'll know that I didn't get them from Hannah's because they'll know the shoes. So I had to say number one shoes and that's when I knew I wasn't going to get the job.

The underwear of my bra busted and came shooting out of my top mid-job interview. It's the worst. Yeah. And then what? It's just sticking out. Yeah. And sometimes if it goes the wrong way,

it like pokes into your skin and you're just like, argh! And when I asked them to repeat the question, the same question four times, I just couldn't compute. So I just sat there and smiled and they were like,

thank you for coming. I've done that before. When someone asks you a question, you're like, pardon, sorry, and again? And just doesn't sit. Sorry, what are you? Yeah, what? Ask me again? What did you go again?

And someone said when they asked me where I see myself in five years, and I said probably in Australia. Oh, dear. Like everybody else. Yeah else because they pay better. Here for a good time, not a long time. It's the final rankings. That's a Friday

tradition. The Friday rankings where we take something and we rank it, we debate and today, corn based chips. So this isn't your CZs.'re not doing nachos chips or corn chips we're doing don't mean actual corn chips we're doing puffs the puffy the puffy ones the puffy chips the puffy twisties your cheese balls burger rings burger rings rations

yeah cheese big guns cheese big guns cheese big guns not on the market big Whisties, your cheese balls, your machos. Burger rings. Burger rings, rations. Cheese, did you say cheesels? Biggins, cheesels. Biggins, not on the market anymore. Biggins, they don't do biggins anymore. Big rings, eh? Biggins. What about those harvest snaps? Are we doing those?

They don't count, do they? No, they're pea. They're pea. They're moolah peas. Get a grip, you bougie bitch. Those are all the rage. Are we including Papa Jack's? Yes.

We have to. Yum! We have to include Papa Jack's. Darwin's feeling me. I just forgot about them. If we're including Munchos, we have to include Papa Jack's. I get a lot of stick for this, but I will always buy cheese balls for parties. I know.

And you know what? They go down a treat. I think you can buy... balls for parties. I know. And you know what? They go down a treat. I think you can buy... People love them. No, you can buy a bag of cheese balls for a private moment of shame. You can't take a bag of cheese balls to a social... You're in your 40s. No, you can.

People love them. I don't know that they do. You're going to grow up, man. At a party, you can't have a cheesy mouth. No one wants orange fingers. Cheese balls, to me, are number one, followed by burger rings. I love a burger ring, but it's a bag for yourself. Like you said, in the car.

Oh, Munchos. I'm in a shame. Munchos. Spicy tomato Munchos. No, no, no. Munchos, cheese and onion. No! The black bag.

No, not Munchos, cheese and onion. No, Munchos, cheese and onion. Spicy tomato. What was the other Muncho? Everyone forgot about the other Muncho. It was three Munchos. No. Everything. Spicy tomato. What was the other muncho? Everyone forgot about the other muncho. It was three munchos. No. Everything used to come in threes in the 90s.

Links. There was only ever three. All I can see for munchos is spicy tomato, cheese and onion, the supreme flavor. Oh, what's that? No. There was another muncho. No, I don't think there was. There was another munchos.

There was another munchos. Munchos historians listening, what was the third muncho? There, you're dreaming. Google it. There's not. Okay, well, I'll lock it in now. For me, it's cheese balls, spicy tomato munchos, and burger rings. I'm going rations.

It's like velvet bacon. Are you kidding me? Rations, number one. Rations, I love rations. If you get a good dusting on them. Oh, my God. You always get a good rations. I don't know if you do.

Bacon. Bacon. They taste like bacon. Yeah, cheese and bacon. Rations, number one. Cheese and onion munchos, number Bacon. Bacon. They taste like bacon. Yeah, cheese and bacon. Russian's number one. Cheese and onion manchur is number two. And I'm going Popper Jack's. Number three.

Popper Jack's don't have a flavour, though. Yeah, that's what I just hear. What flavour are they like? They're not a flavour, are they? Do they have a salt and vinegar version of that? I don't think so. Cheese balls and burglaries? Grow up, Fletch.

That's what somebody messaged me. Yeah, exactly. What about Cheezels? No. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, Cheezels are too... Cheezels are No No no no no no no Cheezels are too Cheezels are too hard Yeah no

Too hard They are What flavour of Popper Jacks? That was Big Guns Original That was Big Guns Absolute high point They were soft

They weren't soggy They still had a snap to them But they were softer If I could go back In a time machine I would just All I'd do I wouldn't even get

Lotto numbers or anything Or take anything back I'd just get You're damn full Spice Tangy Biggins Tangy Biggins They were the best lotto numbers or anything or take anything back, I'd just get spice tangy biggins. They were the best flavour of chips ever. They were similar

flavour to sweet and tangy chips. What flavour would you say tangy is? You know what I mean? Was it kind of like a yeasty bamboozled? Tangy, like sour? Yeah. Some sourness to it. Yeah, a little bit of a bite.

So what are you ranking? What's your top three? Come on. Come over to Team Rations. Come over to Team Rations. I'm a big Rations. I'm a huge fan of Rations. We haven't even mentioned Twisties.

No, they can get a grip. Yeah, I'd go Rations over Twisties. I'd go Rations over Twisties. Okay, so we've established that Rations is the more dominant cheese and bacon flavour. Snap. Come on. Like all-time spicy tomato manchos. Like they're up there for me.

But, yeah, rations, I've got to go hankering for a ration now. So I'd go ration. I'd go ration top. I'd go ration top. I'd go ration top. I wouldn't put any weight behind cheese balls whatsoever. Nah, they're lame. I wouldn't put any weight behind a cheese ball. You're missing out.

They're lame. If you ever bring them to my house, they go in the bin. A ration's everything a cheese ball wants to be. If I bring a bowl of cheese balls to a party, you watch how they get decimated. Yeah, but everyone's got orange cracks in the corners of their mouth it doesn't matter terrible breath

and sticky fingers yeah um then I'd go oh Papa Jack's so rations and then I'd go spicy tomato manchos

and third would be I'm really struggling with third do you remember cool crisps yeah dog yeah dog those things stuck to your tongue

like you wouldn't believe. They had like a salt and vinegar one. Get your chicken flavour and shove it like in the bin. The chicken? No. Nothing chicken flavoured

apart from chicken. Oh, yum. Okay, those but the salt and vinegar one. Yeah, the yellow bag. Yeah, that stuck to your tongue. They were... So it's rations then?

Yeah, they'd take a layer off your tongue. Rations wins. They'd just... You'd be like... You'd have to beat it. So it's rations then? Yeah, they'd take a layer off your tongue. Rations wins. What is listener feedback like for these rankings? Someone said, as always, Fletch is wrong. Cheese balls are a shameful car snack.

Oh yeah, but you'll still eat them, won't you? Desperate times, desperate measures. I love cheese balls, although I have noticed they've got a bit smaller. Yeah, they definitely have. The cheese flavouring on cheese balls is crap now. Not as good as it used to be. Burger Rings have changed their size and flavour too. They're not as good.

No, Burger Rings aren't as good. In fact, Burger Rings would be my third. Okay. Because they weren't as good, but I always loved Burger Rings. Apart from the initial smell when you open the bag, I'll leave that up to you. But it's not... Yeah. I'll open it away, let it air, like a good pin on water. I let it breathe, I let it air.

You decant your burger rings. I decant my burger rings. I'll pour them into a bowl, discard the bag, and then thoroughly enjoy a burger ring. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Enjoy a burglary. Yesterday, I went to the bathroom and had a bowel motion. Fletch has told me I've got to be classy about how I say this. Well, congratulations. I had a bowel motion.

That did sound classy. I moved bowel. Now, I... You had a swift ablutions. It was actually a swift ablutions. Yeah, we were saying this yesterday, eh? You and I, Fletch, are pretty swift. You're swift ablutions. And you are a lingerer. I'm a lingerer. I'm not in any hurry.

I'm not going to tear something forcing it out. You sit on your phone or on the toilet for what? He would sit there for hours if he could. Not hours, because my legs go numb. And the doctor told me it'll give me hemorrhoids. Okay. That's it for too long, because it pulls it apart. That's just the... Science.

It's just science. Old mates used to get it because they'd sit there and read the newspaper and now we sit on there on our phones, don't we? We're not concentrating on the job at hand.

But anyway, I do concentrate on the job at hand but I'm not in any great hurry. Yesterday, I had rather swift ablutions and it was at that stage I thought I was dying. Oh, no.

The colour. Was it that big? No, the colour. As I described it to my wife when I messaged her, I said it represented the last stages of radiation poisoning from a nuclear explosion. Oh, dear. Exposure to a nuclear explosion. And I panicked for a little bit and I thought,

do I call an ambulance now? And then this all happened super quick in my mind. Then I cast my mind back and I was like, we did have a roast beetroot salad. Yes. Very heavy. You know, sometimes you'll eat beetroot and it's just a tiny amount.

Undetectable. Yeah, either undetectable or a tiny residual beetroot presence. This thing was 90% beetroot. And you thought you were dying. I was like, oh, my God, I'm in so much trouble. Like, what do I do from here? This is so embarrassing.

You're bleeding. Yeah, I'm bleeding profusely. And then when I reminded her, I thought, I don't need my lovely wife sharing this panic, so I messaged her. I gave her the heads up. Just a gentle reminder, a loving reminder. No photo? No, she's not. You don't go there? No, she doesn't like

that. I've asked. I did see this all over social media. Well, then she shared it. I was trying to save her the panic. It came from a pure position of caring, but I didn't want her to experience that panic. And then she shared it.

Do you have the message there? How did you word it? Hello, your friendly reminder that we had beetroot salad. I just did a poopy that looked like I had the last stages of radiation poisoning from exposure to a nuclear explosion. We both don't need that panic today. Love you. Oh, that's nice at the end, though, isn't it? That's lovely, yeah.

We don't need that panic. I was going to talk to you about my poozees, but I love you. I love you. Yeah, and she said 11 years of marriage and the romance is still there. But I don't know how sarcastic that is. It sounds a little bit sarcastic. Yeah, but I didn't share the message she sent back. She just said hers looked like she just pooped out a bunch of beetroots.

Okay, great. Classy. Good stuff. Yeah, thanks for sharing. That's okay. And we're glad you're not dying. But it's just another reminder, and I will do this every now and then,

if you are a little bit forgetful, if you're eating something that's beetroot-based, little mark on the hand. Yeah. Because then you'll see that and you'll be like, that's right, I ate beetroot. Now make it with something that'll last for a few days. Yeah, you forget the next day, don't you?

Yeah, don't be afraid to chuck a bit of vivid there. Yeah. Make it last. I wonder if anyone's ever gone to like A&E and they'd be like, I'm leaving for the A's. And they're not. It's just beach group.

It's the truth. It's a lot of beach group. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Hayley's version. Hoo! Songs sung with different lines.

Well, it's had a couple of weeks hiatus. It has. I juiced myself with Vaughan's 40th birthday song. And so creatively, I just needed to... Revive. Revive, refuel. Right.

So your version this week is taking on Lado's song, Big Energy. Just to clarify, I did want to do one last week and I started writing a song about the protests. But then on Wednesday, of course, things took a bit of a sour turn. We thought it was no longer funny, so I abandoned. But yes, of course, rat tests have arrived in New Zealand. You can buy them from chemists and everywhere.

We've been taking them. We started daily, and then we went every second day. I've been taking them for TVNZ so I can enter the building there. And I mean, a lot of us were in the wrong hole, weren't we? We were in the wrong hole. Who knew the nose had three canals? I didn't. I just assumed it was an eye. Head back and go straight in for

the bottom hole. Back, not up. Yeah. And it's changed. It's changed the way I've done it. Do you reckon we've been COVID positive this whole time? We've just been doing the test. We've got the COVID caddies sitting on the bench here. $35 for the first one that gets it. Yeah.

Not that we're racing to get it. So, yeah, we've been doing a lot of rats. I'm sick of them. So I thought I would cover Lado's Big Energy. This is Hayley's version, Deep Nose Energy. Of course. This is Hayley's version, Deep Nose Energy. Of course. Damn it, I can feel it in me Even though I got deep nose energy

Put it in, twist it round, all tickly Hold a minute, now I think I'm about to sneeze Pull it out one side, all dribbly Put it in the other side immediately Twist it round once again, give it everything. Do it till your eyes water, make them really sting. Here we go again. Three, two, one, stick it in till it reach the end.

Looking for those antigens so I can keep hanging with my friends on the weekends. It's a stingy kind of pain. One more push, maybe hit my brain. Gotta be a better way. Doing this every second day. Up my nose, cavite Pull it at you, Nazi Swish it in the chew for a one, two, three

Powder food drips on the tray, easy Wait 50 minutes, make yourself a cup of tea One line on C, mean to COVID free One more on T, mean to COVID palsy Might wanna pour yourself a glass of wine Because you're about to shove a giant white stick up your snars Damn it, I can feel the enemy But then I see my friend going really deep Might want to pour yourself a glass of wine because you're about to shove a giant white stick up your snars. Damn it, I can feel the enemy.

But then I see my friend going really deep. So I try to push it in another sand and meet any opportunity to compete. Whoopsie, yep, just hit my brain. Hit the part that remembers my name. Oh no, what was it again? It's like something, something Jane. Got that deep nose energy. I got that deep, deep energy.

Got that deep nose energy. Not as deep as Bourne's. Got that deep, deep energy. That's Hayley's version. Yay! Wow. I can feel it tickling as I sing about it. You go deep.

I go real deep. I've got the TVNZ one to my throat. It's just become a challenge for me now. It's not a competition board. I'm going to lose. I'm going to have to put safety strings on the end of mine. It's my pick for Friday Flashback I was delving through the charts and I found this song

and you were on board Hayley instantly The moment I heard it I was like yes I think I had it on a compilation CD when I was a kid which is wild because in the 90s I was very young for this song. Yes. The kind of song that would come on

like late night at a wedding or like at a bar. Oh, yeah. If it came out in the car, conservative mothers would immediately reach down and flick it. It's an absolute one-hit wonder as well. Is it?

It came out in 1997, but it didn't get big until 1999. So I went back. This is how I found this song. I went back in the album charts to this very week in 1999, which was a good year for pop music. Such a good year. Great year for 99. So the number one song, 10 years, sorry, in 1999.

Oh, yeah. The song, New Radicals. I'm not going to play that. The number two song. Oh, baby, baby. So already like great songs. This was the third biggest song. But the song that I'm going to play you today was actually number nine.

Number nine? What are you playing? That's yours. That's your watch. Where's my watch playing music? Yeah, I don't know. It was talking to you while you were talking, and then I think Siri thought you wanted a song.

Yeah, I started playing you a song. Is that what happened? Is Siri picking our Friday flashback? She's not allowed to pick our Friday flashback. Absolutely not. So this song was big in New Zealand and only a few countries around the world. Japan, it was number one. They absolutely loved it.

Oh, I bet they did. In Japan. It was number three in the Netherlands. It made it to number six in New Zealand. Number one in the UK on the Indy charts and four in Belgium. Nowhere else did this song do well.

Number nine. Number nine's not bad. I'd take number nine. It's not bad. Alright, your Friday flashback today. Yes! Goddamn war! It's Teaspoon, Sex on the Beach. Come on everybody

To them Real and crucial people Original king of talking On the microphone Yes me come like Al Capone When me sing I wanna have sex on the beach Come on move your body

Sex on the beach I wanna have sex on the beach. I want to have sex on the beach. Come on, there's a party. Sex on the beach. I'm never, never going to leave you alone. Tide is high and the groove is on. She said her name was Cindy. How would you like a drink of me?

Bikini on the left, the kitty on the right. Come and give me lovin' all through the night. Do the wild thing, ding-a-ling-a-ling. Girl, I wanna hear you sing. Dig out them, dig out them, dig out them. Whoa, them I like to have fun now. Dig out them, dig out them, dig out them. Girl, I wanna hear you sing.

I wanna have sex on the beach. Come on, move your body. Sex on the beach. Well, I want to hear you sing. Come on, there's a party tonight. We love crucial people. Come on, there's a party. Come on, there's a party tonight. I met a girl named Eden. She comes straight from Sweden. I gave her to have fun now They yell them, they yell them They yell them Then I'm gonna make you sing

I wanna have sex on the beach Come on, move your body Sex on the beach I wanna have sex on the beach Come on, there's a party Sex on the beach Come on, there's a party Sex on the beach Come on, there's a party tonight They got them, they got them, they got them

Oh, them I like to have fun now They got them, they got them, they got them They my homies shake them bumper today All of the girls with the sexy body I like to have fun now. They got them, they got them, they got them. Them at home feel sick, them bump out today. All of the girls with the sexy body. Hold up, put no hand in the air, make me see. Come punch a coat and wiggle a little. They love to eat and it's a party. I want to have sex on the beach.

Come on, move your body. Sex on the beach. They got them, they got them, they got them. I want to have sex on the beach. Dig out there, dig out there, dig out there. I want to have sex on the beach. Come on, there's a party. There's sex on the beach. Come on, there's a party tonight. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

We love push-up people. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Come on, there's a party. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. It's your Friday flashback. Teaspoon, Sex on the Beach. Number six in New Zealand in 1999. Big song. Ross Boss, he loves that song.

One of his favourite songs. No. He was absolutely messaging in saying, who's the culprit? And he threw me under the bus I did I said I told you to absolutely own your shit yeah well I did say it was gonna be a terrible one-hit wonder that's a banger lots of people do not agree with that. No. Lots of people. Someone said, I switched. I came back.

How is this still going? No, I only played it because Hayley said how great it was. I wouldn't have played it otherwise. So this is on you. Take some ownership. Yeah, no, he won't. He won't. He's a white male.

He doesn't take ownership for stupid things he's done. It's always somebody else's. How dare you? Man, Fletch, this is way worse than usual. That's what somebody messaged. Wow. Okay. It's a big no thank you. There's just no reason.

Start reading out some positives. There's just no reason that this song should have ever got to a number nine. I know. It is amazing that it charted so well. And that year, because it was a great year for pop music. I think the highlight of the song is the lyric, do the right thing, ding-a-ling-a-ling. It was lyrical genius.

My three-year-old and one-year-old are clapping in the back of the car. They're a big fan of the rhythm. So that song's got jump jam energy, but obviously the morals don't line up with primary school collective dancing. I remember listening to this song on holiday in Fiji when I was 11, and I got in so much trouble. Someone said, I remember singing and dancing around the lounge at the age of six with headphones on, listening to this on a Walkman.

Now, how was that allowed? I don't know. The 90s were a wild time. Someone said, somehow I missed this in my childhood. But yeah, I can see why. Some parents would have very much steered the radio away from that song in the 90s. Well, we can all agree.

Great one-hit wonder. Did you not just hear the feedback that was given? Selectively, I did, yes. We can all agree. Well, we can all agree that was an absolute success. All right, it's time for another impossible phone-in topic, a topic that we think is so impossible that nobody is going to call us. Yes.

So this is on the back of a survey that was done that looked into celebrity breakup songs. So musicians who have broken up with someone, whether they're famous or not, written a song about it. Taylor Swift, for example. Taylor Swift writing the song about Jake Gyllenhaal. Of course, Kanye West only last week or the week before

released that music video where he's murdering Pete Davidson. You'd say a lot of songs have that, you know, emotional, that heartbreak attached to them for the people making them. Never mind, I'll find someone like you. Yeah. You know what I mean? Adele's whole first album and every album after. First album, second album, third album.

Yeah. It's all about a breaker. They're the best songs. Well, the majority of people say they absolutely love it when a celebrity goes through drama because they know that they're going to be writing great music on the back of it. 41% though say that if you break up with a musician, then you are fair game for having a song written about you. It's fair game.

If you break up with a magician, and if you break up with a magician, it's fair game to be sawed in half or turned into a rabbit. And to make you disappear. So if you break up with a musician, but what if the musician breaks up with you? If there's a breakup, either way. If there's a breakup.

Right. If they say for the musician, it's just like, it's fair game for them to be able to use it. What are you talking about? We use our entire lives as material every day on radio. Yeah, but there's something about song it's real because you've really thought about it it's not just an office off the cuff i mean it depends who you're breaking up with if your musician boyfriend x is in a

covers band or as a musician well we all know harry styles wrote a song called Kiwi Girl. Yes. Who's that? I know, but I won't ever say. You can't do that. I'm teasing. I'm teasing. I'm teasing. But I think it's fair game. Absolutely. What else are they going to use?

They don't exactly spell out the name, do they? I think if Taylor Swift wrote a song that was called, like, Jack Gyllenhaal's a dickhead, you'd be like, that's a little on the nose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a little rough. Yeah, let's try to artsy it up, you know? Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

Poetry. So our impossible phoner today, have you ever been the subject of a breakup song? And maybe you were going out with a musician and they wrote a song to try and woo you back. Yeah, I dated a few musicians in my earlier years. They never went anywhere though. You know, they never got far enough. I don't think I was the subject of a song.

I did have that affair with Dame Kitty Takanawa. Now, I may have been subject of a breakup song, but I can't understand what she's singing. That was actually the reason we stopped seeing each other. She was insulted every time

what are you it was all like yeah wow it's a lot of Latin I don't speak Latin I'm like if you're gonna bag me at least

yeah you know sing in English Sing in English. Sing in English. Singing in Latin. What did she say? She said my name. What is she saying?

God damn it. Someone give me a Latin speaker. All right. Well, it's the impossible phone in topic Have you ever Been on the receiving end of a breakup song From a musician Maybe someone you broke up with wrote a song

To try and win you back It's better if they were an amateur musician And they just gave you the tape And it's just them Yeah Strumming their heart out Why you gotta do me like that Stacy I loved you Rachel And you kiss to me on the mouth.

Well, the impossible phone-in topic. 42% of people say if you date a musician... I was 41%. Oh, oh. You have absolutely stuffed up that statistic there. I apologise. I'm sorry, we're not trying to lie to you statistic there. I apologise. I'm sorry, we're not trying to lie to you, listeners. I apologise.

I want you to receive the truth. Listeners, I apologise. I'm fighting for the truth. 41%. I mean, you could have just let me have that 1%. No. 41% of people say if you date a musician and you break up, you're fair game for a breakup song.

Absolutely. Fodder. So our impossible phone-in topic is have you ever been broken up with from a musician and had a breakup song about you? Yeah, you're the subject of a breakup song. So our impossible phone-in topic is have you ever been broken up with from a musician and had a breakup song about you? Are you Harry Styles Kiwi Girl? I can see that we've got calls and I can't wait

and I'm just going to want to hear these songs and I just Oh yes! Maybe if, anyway, let's see what happens. Becky has called. Good morning, Becky. Good morning. Now, you've been broken, let's see what happens. All right, well, Becky has called. Good morning, Becky. Good morning. Now, you've been broken up with. Ah, sure.

Or you broke up with them. We had a thing, and then we finished the tour, and that was over. Oh, okay. The tour. And so did you have a breakup song written about you? I had a whole CD produced about our time together. Can I ask you, is the writer of these songs someone who works in the industry,

who maybe we would have heard before? He's from America, so unlikely that you would have heard of? He's from America, so unlikely that you would have heard of him. Okay. Right. But would these songs be available for us to listen to, like on Spotify

or our very own iHeartRadio? They are on Spotify. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. Well, we'll need to hear them. That's what everyone in this message, and I'm like, link me, link me. Link me.

I'm like, oh, yeah, there's a video on YouTube. I'm like, hit me with a link. I don't want to hear about it. I want to hear it. So a whole album about the breakup. Is there anything like, would you pick one of the songs as your favourite or standout?

Galway Girl, well the Galway song is probably more about our romantic time together. Galway Girl. Yeah. Ed Sheeran song. Not an Ed Sheeran song.

Oh, I was like... For a moment, I was like... What? Galway with one L? No, you did say American. Okay. Yeah. It was Galway Girl with...

What? What was it called? It's a Galway song, yeah. from us being in Ireland in Galway. Galway, beautiful place to visit, I must say. Galway girl with Galway eyes? With my pretty little Galway girl? No? None of those ones?

No. Oh, I can't find it. Maybe we have to get a message us privately. Keeping it coy. Yeah. Caitlin, you've had this happen to you. You've had a song written about you. Yeah, well, actually, five songs.

Oh, okay. You got an EP? Yeah, so he's tone deaf, though, so, like, they were not good. Oh, bless. Are they still on line? Oh, my God, tone deaf, even. Yeah, it was really, really bad. And I think, like, we were still together when he started writing the album.

So some are love songs and then it turns to a little bit of hate. Oh my God. So you can hear the moment in the album where the heart breaks. Oh yeah, for sure. Oh my God. Any embarrassing information in there about you? Oh, nah, not really. Like, they're kind of general, but he linked it to me and sent me an email.

Oh, wow. And did you listen to the songs? Yeah, I listened, but just they were really bad. Oh, no. Can we find them? Yeah, what were some of them called? Give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me. It was just like you and me, like just really general.

Honestly, they were really, really bad. My baby girl, forever love. Yeah, yeah. I miss you. A shattered heart. Yeah, yeah. I can't breathe without you. Oh, yeah, I'm pretty sure that line was used for sure.

I can't breathe without you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My forlorn heart. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, yeah. Will. My forlorn heart. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, yeah. Will I ever love again? When will she return? Come back to me.

My heart will go on. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah. Oh, this is the ticking of the boxes. I'm better off without you. That was where I thought he was getting it all back together. It was an angry day. Oh, I don't think I had that line.

And then the next song is I'm Nothing Without You. Sorry about what I said. That last one was a huge mistake. But I can't take it back. It's out there now. All right, Caitlin, amazing. Thanks for sharing some messages in. Oh, wow.

Oh, yeah. Okay, there's someone on Spotify. Someone's like, here's the links. Letter to the Lost and Mr. Busman. Mr. Busman, are you a bus driver? Might have been on the bus. Perhaps. And they, like, you know, when you see someone on the bus

and it's love at first sight. Yeah. And then that's what Mr. Busman's about. Wow. Mr. Busman. My ex-boyfriend wrote a rap about me and posted it on YouTube after I broke up with him. He wasn't even an amateur musician.

He didn't make music at all. I had never heard him rap. And as you can imagine, it was not good. But it did stay on YouTube for another six years. I was like, link, please. I wish I could, but when my friend reminded him it was still up, he ended up deleting the YouTube video. Oh, no.

I would love to hear that. My ex-boyfriend's an amateur musician. He sent me a link about two years after we broke up. Oh, this is Mr. Busman. This is the same number as Mr. Busman. Oh, okay, right. After we broke up, he was in another relationship, letting me know he had just written a song about me and he wanted me to be the first to hear it.

Oh, God. Oh, okay, right. There can't be that many songs called Mr. Busman, can there? Also, I don't know if Mr. Bus... Mr. Busman NZ? Mr. Businessman. No. Mr. Busman NZ.

Mr. Bus Driver, that looks like a child's... I'm so sad we can't hear any of these. I know. Mr. Busman. There's... Oh, now I've got a whole list. I don't care about the well-selling, well-ranking Mr. Busman. I'm on the one that's had two listens, both regrettable.

Yes. That would be my cup of tea. Someone said, I didn't have a breakup song written about me, but I did have a breakup interpretive heartbreak dance made about me, and it gets better, it gets better. It aired on TVNZ. How? As part of a series about the creative arts in New Zealand.

Oh, okay. Oh, mama. Oh, fantastic. My aunt, my auntie was dumped by a local musician back in Samoa and her name was the soft background in the chorus of the next song that he wrote. Oh, fantastic. Yeah, you hear the specific song in the background. I said, what was your auntie's name?

They said, her name is Sara Osa, and you can hear it being said in the background. Sara Osa. Sara Osa. Sara Osa. Why you doing me like this, Sara Osa? Why you gotta hurt me, Sara Osa. Sarah Osa. Why you doing me like this? Sarah Osa. Why you gotta hurt me?

Sarah Osa. Eyes as blue as the ocean. Sarah Osa. I just want to... Heartbreak, eh? My tears are like a waterfall running down a cliff. Sarah Osa. Oh, my God. Well, it wasn't impossible, was it?

It wasn't impossible. It wasn't impossible. Nope. We'll try wasn't impossible. Nope. We'll try again next week. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- What is in its tomato juice and? Tabasco sauce. And vodka? Vodka. We make a tomato juice with Bloody Mary. What do you put in it? Like Tabasco, a little bit of cracked pepper and stuff.

But you put in the lime, soda water, vodka, capsicum. Well, that's not a Bloody Mary. Not capsicum. What is it? Yeah, you can put a capsicum in it. Cucumber. You can put cucumber in it. So it's clear.

Inspired by it, but a spicy, savoury drink. As a vodka tonic? No, but with Tabasco sauce and cucumber and celery and the like. Spicy with vodka tonic. Spicy with cracked black cucumber. So the International Bartenders Association ingredients are specified ingredients for a Bloody Mary. Three parts vodka, six parts tomato juice, one part lemon juice. Two to three dashes of Worcestershire sauce.

Hard to say, but you've nailed it. I took the time to research that. Yeah. Tabasco sauce, celery salt. Celery salt. And black pepper. Stir gently. Pour all ingredients into a hardball glass and garnish with, as you said, celery salt, celery salt, and black pepper. Stir gently. Pour all ingredients into a hub or glass and garnish with, as you said, celery.

There's even one with a prawn in it here. Get a grip. Oh, no. Who's putting prawns in your drinks? Yeah. I'm not a tomato juice. Tomato juice is my main no for that. I can't stand tomato juice.

Sade loves it. Have you been with Sade when she's hung over my wife? And she'll be like, oh, can I have a spicy tomato juice? I'm just like, that is. Get a grip. That's wrong. That's weird, man. she's hungover? My wife. And she'll be like, can I have a spicy tomato juice? I'm just like, that is... Get a grab. That's wrong. That's weird, man. It's like drinking cold tomato soup.

It's cold tomato soup. Yeah, I'd leave her. It is cold tomato soup. It's cold tomato soup. Yeah. It's watered down tomato sauce. Yuck. And cold tomato soup.

I'll have a hot tomato soup. Don't get me wrong. One of my favorite soups. A hot tomato soup. People are like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, I know. It's a controversial thing for a hot tomato soup. But anyway, the origins of the name is highly disputed.

Okay. I always assumed Bloody Mary because of Queen Mary. You know, she was described as like the Bloody Queen because of how many people she had murdered and she was just a little bit... I thought she was demanding and the staff were like, oh, get her another Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary. However, there is debate that it could be named

after a waitress in Chicago called Mary who made a drink called the Bucket of Blood. Oh, yeah. Which was the Bloody Mary, which then took on her name. But one of the strongest historical claims to the name Bloody Mary is that it's actually a Russian drink that we fail to pronounce correctly. Oh. You know how Russians say, like,

I want to suck your blood. And the Vs are Vs. Blood. Oh, so it's a body. And it's like Vladimir. Oh, so it's a body. And it's like Vladimir. Oh, right. So they think the bloody part and the Mary could be taken from the Russian name Vladimir. Right. Well, they're being very naughty.

They are Vladimir. Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary. They're being very naughty at the moment. So let's not give them that. That's what I thought. Oh, yeah. I'm going to keep saying Bloody Mary and keep pronouncing it wrong.

But then I also thought the original Queen was quite naughty too. Yeah. Lots of head slicing. So should we go? So I was thinking we were going Barmaid Mary in the Middle. Yeah, love that. Barmaid Mary in the Middle. All in favour of Barmaid Mary in the Middle?

Aye. There you go. We've rewritten history. That's how that works. That's democracy in action. So today's fact of the day. Lock it in. It's an actual fact.

The Bloody Mary named after a barmaid at a Chicago bar called Mary who used to make a cocktail called the Bucket of Blood. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Uber Eats, which I moved recently from inner city. To outer city. Is Avondale inner city? Yeah, why not?

Central West, I think they prefer. Why not Central West? I moved from there, we get all the Uber Eats in the world, to a bit further away where I get no Uber Eats anymore. I think I've got a petrol station on there and that's it. Welcome to rural West Auckland. Do you have to walk down the end of your street and you can get it, eh? They extended it recently and I think we can get it now.

Oh, that's nice. It's a dangerous trap to fall into, though. Yeah, it's kind of good when you're excluded from the area, right? Like it takes care of ordering too much. Yeah, absolutely. So now they've got, which they've had on Uber for a long time, on Uber Eats, they've got bill splitting. Has this started in New Zealand?

Because this is an article that's come from overseas, so it always takes us a while to get these things, doesn't it? I don't know, should we order something? Why just open up my Uber Eats? I've got to log on. Because I can never justify using Uber Eats because I live in the middle of a city. Yeah. And I can walk to any fast food restaurant in like two minutes.

You love a bit of fitness too. You love going for a walk. Save and continue. It always makes you feel good when I walk two minutes to, you know, a fast food place. Delivery. Let's say I'm going to McDonald's Grey Lynn because maybe I will

have to work. Group order. Yeah, we do. So you go group order and then I can add you. Oh, okay. And then immediately, the good thing about it

because you know if you do get Uber Eats and you say, oh, we'll split it but we'll put it on my account. Yeah. Then you've got to wait, you know, overnight

for them to put it in. Yeah. Then you've got to chase, you know, Stacey because Stacey didn't put her you've got to chase, you know, Stacey, because Stacey didn't put her bit in. And you hate to do this, but I need your $33. Stacey always does this to me. Stacey doesn't do it.

I'm always like, Stace, I'm not shouting you dinner again. So, yeah, you do that. You go group order, and then they pay immediately. So they open their app. It tells you that you're part of it. They pay. Just like splitting an Uber. Yeah, and so on your app it'll go,

Fletch has paid his portion, Vaughn's paid his portion, Hayley's paid her portion, the order goes through. Okay. I like this. That's good, yeah. Because I often find with Uber Eats,

because I'm paying for the delivery fee and, you know, they add a bit of cost to it, to the food, I always go all out. I'm like, well, I want to make it worth it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get more. And then when you're with friends, you're of cost to it, the food. I always go all out. I'm like, well, I want to make it worth it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get more.

And then when you're with friends, you're like, let's get heaps. And the bill's often hefty. It's a lot, yeah. Because they add a bit on. Yeah, they do. Take a little cut. Okay, well, that's good. Your friends aren't getting away with this anymore.

Not getting away with it anymore. Stacey. Always Stacey. I want my money back. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley You know when you're Talking to someone

And you accidentally Slip into their accent Or like You're the best You could possibly do of it So easy to do And you do it And you catch yourself doing it

And you're like stop Yes When you're travelling Yes Like that time I moved to London And I had a thick English accent After two weeks

Oh no I hate that I've been in London and I had a thick English accent after two weeks. Oh, no. I hate that. I've been in London, yeah? Yeah. Oh, God, I miss London. I grew up in Christchurch, yeah, but I've been away abroad. Yeah. Oh, people always ask me, am I from Peaky Blonde?

I did this last night. We have Lily McManus on the show tonight. Have you been paying attention? I believe 8.30. Tonight, 8.30 on two. And, of course, she's Australian, and the moment she starts talking, it just, like, turns, and you can't get out of it. Plus, the Australian accent's very fun to do.

Yeah. It's so lazy. It's so lazy. All of those rural, lazy, Aussie accents. Chewing on a piece of bloody grass. And add a but to the end of everything. Yeah, but. I noticed you also didn't do the same with our other guest tonight, Junior Fah. I did not

slip into a Tongan accent. No. Okay, that's good. Despite my urge to. You had to fight it. Well, apparently we do this because we will do the accent we are expecting that person to have.

Okay. So if someone tells you they're from New York, you automatically get into that Sopranos New York. Yeah. Like, I can't do it very well. You got to eat a beagle. Yeah, get out of there, boy. So, yeah, you'll do what your expectations are

or what you've seen it represented as. Like what you've seen on TV and movies. And that's why when someone says to you a saying that is synonymous with that accent, you are more likely to say it straight back to them in that accent because you've seen it represented in media, online, videos, movies, TV, etc. So you're doing the archetype of that accent. Yeah, you are.

Like if someone said an outlandish statement, they were from New York again, and they said an outlandish statement and you didn't believe them, you'd be far more likely to be like, get out of here. Get out of here. Hey, I'm a Waka there.

As three Pakeha individuals, mostly Pakeha myself, you've got to be careful. Oh, you're a Treadlily. Oh, yeah. I don't think I offended Lily McManus by slipping into an Australian accent last night. But I have been travelling to, it was years and years ago, I went to Thailand and on the way home,

in Edinburgh, on the way home, went to Thailand and there was one person in, yeah, we were in Edinburgh on the way home, we went to Thailand and there was one person in our party that we were travelling with that would reflect the accent of the Thai person speaking English to us, not their first language and he would speak back in the same way in English, but that broken, like a

broken English, with a Thai accent. I'll beat it, I was told to by Sade's auntie, who is Thai? What? She said, they'll understand you better if you do the accent. I was like it. I was told to by Sade's auntie, who is Thai. What? She said, they'll understand you better if you do the accent. I was like, I'm not doing that. That's a trap.

Hey, come on. Do the accent. Come on. Pretend to be. Do it. Speak English, but use a heavy Asian accent. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. That's a trap.

She had a phone and she was recording you. She's like, I'm going to ruin your career. I'm going to get this guy cancelled. I'm going to get my absolute delight of a niece to move back to Thailand. I'm going to get her husband fired. Go on, white man, do the accent.