ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 13th December 2022

Episode Date: December 12, 2022

Gen Z Birthdays  Top 6: Things in your Mouth this Week  Silly Little Poll!  Ice Cream Index!  Bad News Brad!  Vaughans "Cow"  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Trade barista-made iced coffees available now at your local McCafe. Two things, two things. Firstly, you may have seen pop up in the podcast feed, our special podcast with economist Brad Olson.

Brad Olson. That's his name. Yeah. Big extended podcast because we had a lot of questions when we talked to him, just, you know, about money. Yeah.

Savings, investments, the economy, inflation, et cetera. So that's all. And we can't just all, like, talk about it nonstop on the radio program because we've got all this Doja Cat we have to play. A lot of Doja Cat. We've got our Doja Cat.

Five Seconds of Summer. It's quiet and we've got to meet. We've got a lot of music to play and ads and stuff. A lot of Eminem. I think he's got a new diss track that we're going to play. He's got a new diss track, does he? No, probably not. Pussycat Dolls and the Lights.

Well, we've got Taylor Swift is back now, so we've got a bit of her. Yeah, we've got a bit of Swift. Sometimes we play some Lizzo Sam Smith and the greatest pop star Of all time, Kim Petras Debatable call that one I'm willing to go on the record your honour This is kind of the first song most people know

But you're saying greatest of all time Interesting So yeah, have a listen to that if you will And yeah. Great man. It feels like next year is not going to be a bury your head in the sand and hope for the best sort of year. It's actually going to require some sort of facing out.

Some sort of what reigning in of the spending. Yeah. Speaking of spending, someone's about to bloody. Yes. Number two on my list. I know. Someone's about to bloody... Yes, number two on my list. I know. Someone's about to go crazy on the online shopping. Producer Carween.

Hell yeah. What have you got in your hot little hand? A work credit card. Wow. She's trusted. She's trusted. She's loved. She's respected.

I had to go to JP and prove my identity, and now the card is finally here. JP, is that Jared Pickstock sitting beside you, is it? Yes. I mean, he would be a good one to prove her identity, though. He sits next to her every day. Yeah. Justice of the peace.

Where did you go? Did you go to the library? I went to one of the libraries. Yes, at St. Luke's. Yeah, yeah. And they sign it for you. Yeah. So the company needed you to prove your identity.

Like so many times. I signed so many times. I signed so many forms. You've worked here for years. Yeah. Do they think you're not real? Nah. But sometimes she's a brighter blonde, sometimes more of a sandy blonde.

Yeah. I don't know if he was judging me on my hair color. Oh, okay. Yeah. Right. I don't know really. Next question. What's the limit on this company credit card?

Am I allowed to say that? Go on. It's a couple grand. Oh! are we gonna get this goes on me yes this is gonna be great for the next time we're out for lunch and we're like let's just put it on the car no no no no no no one's actually told me what i can and can't buy with it oh my god we're going out for lunch next week let Let's definitely get that. But it does feel like it's going to end in me having a lot of admin of receipts and things. No, but if you're paying for it all, it's just one receipt, so that's fine.

Yeah, I don't know if I'm going to get that past anyone. But next time we want to give away something silly, goofy, like a carrot, it's on me. No, but don't you think that your first time using it, because you're new and you haven't abused it yet, you should go hard. Because then you can't abused it yet, you should go hard. Because then you can't revoke that and you'll go,

oh my God, I'm so sorry, it was just a work lunch, I thought that was a thing. I'll be like, no one told me, so sorry. No, I don't know. That's okay, don't do it again, but we've already had a $500 lunch. I think they'll be like, hey, that's coming out of your personal check. Also coming from Hayley who doesn't have a credit card. For this very reason.

And every time we check into the hotel, a hotel for work, they're like, we're going to have to take a $50 ETH post bond. Yes, and I have to ask one of my daddies to use their credit card instead. Oh, is that what you did the other day? Yes, I was absolutely. Do I look like the sort of person that's going to destroy $100 worth of stuff in a hotel? Yes. Okay.

Let me reframe it. If the company has booked it, when we go away with work, when the company books the hotel, why don't they take the bond from the booking? Yeah, I don't know. And the thing that annoys me about the hotel deposit, it's never even, like some places will do a dollar and they've got your card details. Yeah, exactly. And then like the place we stayed in in Christchurch, they charge us $50.

$50. But there was nothing, like there was no minibar. I get if there's a minibar in the room. Because I'm going to eat it. But what am I going to steal your shitty plastic jug? Oh, I know. Steal a towel? Someone did take a shit on the floor in Jared's room. Maybe that sort of thing comes out of the Bond as well.

There was a patch of blood and a patch of poo? Yeah, there was a red stain and a brownie stain. It looked like a bit of jizz too, to be honest. I didn't see that. All the stains. I think that was after Jared left. Gross. There was some there when he arrived.

There was some more when he left. He's a dirty boy. You can see why they take $50. But if we're going to take that $50, at least use it to fucking clean it up. Yeah. Hire a rug doctor or something. Wait, did I get the $50 back? I haven't even checked my bank account.

No, they just refunded. Yeah, they refunded after like seven business days. That's the other thing, man. Hold onto it for so long. Yeah, what are they doing with it? Well, now we can use my company credit card. Yay! Play Zedding's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Happy Tuesday morning. 13th of December. How many sleeps till Christmas? Oh, 12. 12 sleeps.

Haven't done a single bit of Christmas shopping. I'm not doing any. Everyone who is expecting a gift from me, get stuff. Yeah, manage your expectations. Yeah. I can tell you what, I'm ready for a really good day today. I was in a sour mood yesterday. Renovation stress?

Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot of stress. I just go, if you say you're going to do a job, just show up. One of the first eight times you say you're going to, right? Oh, God.

Look, it's all a bit of fun, isn't it? There's a broken microphone in the studio. Now, it's straight up snapped. It's straight up snapped off. Do you think it still works? Try. Go speak into it. What one is it?

Number two. What if I press it and it left? Look, the light's on. Oh, listen to that hum. Talk into it. No. No. That's definitely broken.

Carwen touched it very lightly and it like did dust in her hands. So I saw yesterday it was on a weird angle and I just thought it was the little sock, the little protector that goes over it. It was on a funny angle, but that totally rings true. The whole thing was on a cack. So somebody broke it and then put it back on Wobbly. As every good person who's ever broken something should. Who's been in this blimmin' studio?

I can think of some names. Some ruffians. Some heavy-handed individuals. Some, dare I say, skellywags? Maybe, yes. Joining us on the show this morning, the lovely Bad News Brad. Yeah. I love Brad.

We're going to have a quick chat to him. Brad Olsen is one of the genuinely nicest people you'll meet. He is, yeah. He's, I think, probably the most intelligent person I'm in semi-regular contact with. Which is quite rough because Hayley and I hang out with you every day. You're a couple of dumb bimbos. A couple of dumb bimbos.

A couple of flighty gals. This is a 1990s insult. There are a couple of dumb bumbos in here. Also, I don't know if you're even allowed to say that word anymore. I do apologise if I'm wrong. Maybe you're cancelled. Huge offence to anybody listening. But this guy's got stats.

Oh, he's got stats. Yeah, so today we're putting out a podcast special with Brad Olsen. Because every time we have him in, people are like, oh, oh, more, more, more. Yeah, he's, what's his title? Economist.

Senior. Senior chief financial. Principal economist. Senior economist. Vice president of the economy. Big, smart dude. And we asked you for your questions.

Yeah. About next year. Because everybody's kind of like, next year's not going to be much fun. So what's it looking like as per the latest reports? Now, let's not condemn him already.

He could have some good news. I doubt it. Just reading all the news articles, maybe. I know you're trying to turn your week around, but I just don't think this is going to be the turnaround point of the week. No. We'll catch up with him later on in the show. The top six coming up.

Yeah, the top six things that are likely in your mouth if you live in Auckland this week. Everything's trying to get in your mouth in Auckland this week. In, in, in. Great week not to live in Auckland. I would say so. If you're listening from outside of Auckland, lucky you're not here.

Lucky you. Yeah, it sucks. I'd love to be in the Hawke's Bay. Oh, yes, except you don't give it the. It's like Ukraine. No, I just remembered that. Hawke's Bay. Hawke's Bay. The Bay of Haw you don't give it the. It's like Ukraine. No, I just remembered that. Hawke's Bay. Hawke's Bay.

The Bay of Hawke. I would be in the Bay of Islands. What bay would you be in? Golden Bay? Oh, Golden Bay. Yes, I love me Golden Bay. Yeah. So we're all got a bay in mind.

Oh my God, I'm trying to find the article I was just reading but I have four articles open on White Lotus Now no No, we would not dream of it because yesterday when I was on the internet as I knew it was about to come out, the finale, the season finale

season two finale, I was like if someone ruins this for me, I'll be so upset, so I wouldn't dare I had to message Hayley. I said, save the internet from 3 p.m. New Zealand time. Yes. Because it was 9 p.m. U.S. Yes.

And I did until afterwards. I've been dodging Jennifer Coolidge posts on Instagram. Yeah, right. She's so great. Well, just don't. Let's not go there. But anyway. Debrief to come whenever I haven't seen it. Now, season one was in Hawaii, wasn't it? Yeah, it there. But anyway. Debrief to come whenever I'm seeing it.

Now, season one was in Hawaii, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. Maui. Yeah. Well, there's a big volcano erupting in Hawaii at the moment. That's right. The world's most active volcano. Mona Loa.

By some measurements. Yeah. Is it on the big island? Is that the one that has this volcano? Yes. Maui. Because there's like five or six islands in the one that has this volcano? Yes. Maui. Because there's like five or six islands in the chain, isn't there? Yes, there is.

And so Mauna Loa has been erupting since the 27th of November. It was like quite major. Yeah. Lava in the works. It's still going, but at reduced levels as of yesterday. One active fissure. Now. One act of fissure. Now, I thought a fissure was a small tear in the... A noose.

No, it's any small tear anywhere. I thought it was a noose. A fissure. I thought it was an a noose thing. Not a fissure. A fissure. Fissure. But it's spelt with an S.

F-I-S-S-U-R-E. Fissure. Fissure. I'd say a fissure. You thought that was anally exclusive. Yeah, I thought. I thought it was an anal exclusive. Any tear or any like a rip.

Okay, here's an example. I have a swimming pool. Yes. Like one of those ones, you know, self-standing. Oh, yes. And there's a tear in the side of it. It's got an anal fissure. That's a fissure.

I think it always has to be connected to. Is that a swimming anal fissure. That's a fissure. I think it always has to be connected to it. Is that a swimming pole fissure? Or is that an... I just call that a tear. A tear. Or a rip. So again... But that's what a fissure is. A fissure is a long narrow opening or a line of breakage made by cracking or splitting.

Especially in rock or earth or anus. It hurt my bum. So it's a rock as well. You can have a rock fissure. It's either rocks or anus. It hurt my bum. Or anus. So it's a rock as well. You can have a rock this year. It's either rocks or anuses. Plastic tears, paper tears. This is a cracking or a splitting. Oh.

Because it's dry. It's dry down there. Moisturise, that's what we're saying. Man, how dry is your anus if it's cracking? I know. You shouldn't have a cracking bum. Also, that can tear so technically that's not

yes. Yeah, but probably not from end to end. But it's more likely a long, narrow opening or a line of breakage. We could talk about fissures all day. But anyway, the volcano is erupting and lots of people are going towards it

to see this sort of spectacular sight. I'd have a look. Yeah, go for a lookie. Because it's slow moving, the lava, isn't it? It's not erupting high in the sky and sort of spitting everywhere. It's not a spurter, it's not spurting out. No, it's not spurting out, it's running out.

Spurting is the thing they are saying. Right. Volcanoes like cats you see in public or children, wildly unpredictable. Yeah. From one moment to the next. Yeah. Oh, I know.

I probably wouldn't go near it. However, people are, the mayor has said, please be respectful because this is a very sacred mountain and volcano to the local people. And people are being so disrespectful and they're throwing marshmallows.

Why are they throwing marshmallows? Because you can't get them back out. I know this is the thing. They're throwing marshmallows into the lava. Apparently it's just fun to watch them go like that.

Have you seen that one where somebody put a Coke can in front of like a slow moving lava? That was in Hawaii as well. Yeah, that was amazing. That was so disrespectful. Yeah, well they're saying. You literally showed me the video and you were so excited.

I know, but it was weird. Looking back on it, we've all made mistakes. We're better people if we can look back on what used to entertain us and say, I can see how that was inappropriate. So disrespectful. 2019 Vaughn is not 2022 Vaughn. Yeah, he's challenged. Sure isn't.

So it's moving at an average rate of about 20 feet an hour. Oh, wow. So it is moving. Yeah. Quite a bit. But yeah, they're asking, they're saying it's very disrespectful to Hawaiians and their love for Madame Pele and the culture of Hawaii. Very bad.

Right. And you wouldn't want to toast a marshmallow even over the... What are you... You can't eat it. This is lava. Well, yeah, exactly. It had poisonous gases. Yeah. He said that, yeah, the flow

was steady and sustained. You know, it's not stopping or anything like that. Right. So they're saying, like, if you need to get near it to have a little nosy-wosey, stay in your car, stay at a distance, just have a little peek. And they'd throw marshmallows in. And people are also throwing trash, which is stupid.

Calibre way to get rid of trash. I know, it would incinerate everything, wouldn't it? throw marshmallows in and people are also throwing trash which is stupid. It's a hell of a way to get rid of trash. I know, it would incinerate everything, wouldn't it? Oh my God, like take a whole skip

up there. Yeah, just chuck a skip in as well. Just the whole skip. The whole truck. Yeah. Just drive the truck in.

Take the handbrake off. No, don't do it. It's disrespectful. Yeah. It's certainly not marshmallows. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Well, Gen Z is apparently at it again. I will just say, let's bring Carl Weiner and our resident Gen Z. Hello. Her face when you made that noise. Yeah, I'm just here to defend us. We're not all bad. You're one of the good ones. Thank you.

One of the few. It's not what you were saying earlier. Now, British companies are apparently having to deal with Gen Zs who want their birthday off. Oh, get a grab. Many Gen Z workers are demanding the day off. Now, I honestly think this isn't a new thing, right?

Oh, look, I'm the first row. Bloody put the boot into Gen Z. But I'm pretty sure everybody wants their birthday off. That's just because it's your birthday. Is it because Gen Z is still young and birthdays are still fun? But once you hit past that age, you're like, oh, my God. I just want to ignore the birthday. Yeah, the numbers just keep getting higher.

I'm just looking to see. My birthday was on a weekend this year, and next year it's on a weekend. So what does that mean for me? Great for drinks, though. Perfect for drinks, actually. Yeah, and getting people to pay attention to you for the late night. Carwin, when's your birthday?

July 15th. Did we miss it? Well, did we miss it? No, we were on holiday. Oh, perfect. That's good. For you. It's always the school holidays. Do you think that we should have a holiday

off for our birthday? Do you demand a holiday? I mean, I don't demand it. It would be nice. Doesn't this company give you something for your birthday? Is it a half a day or something? I feel like there's some sort of policy, right? I didn't know that. But we only work half a day, so what are they giving us?

A half of a half day? A quarter day. A quarter day. That would be lovely. That's some bullshit. Why don't we just leave the songs playing at like 7.30 or something? Right, that's a half. We could leave the mics on and people from the office could pop in and say a few words.

It's not hard what we do. Hey, don't tell people that. Oh, shoot. Sorry, sorry. It's very, very... Oh, it's hard and exhausting. What are the people from the office going to pop in and be like, the printer's not working very well today, is it? No way. What about that pot plant

by the coffee machine? That could do with the water? Boring. Who didn't clean the toasty machine? Am I right? It's kind of clean, but it's also still kind of greasy. And then someone's like, Still in the water? Yeah. Boring. Who didn't clean the toasty machine? Am I right? Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. It's kind of clean, but it's also still kind of greasy.

And then someone's like, well, that's how you should leave a toasty machine because otherwise, you know, you're wiping off stuff. It'll be too dry. And the next person's stuff is going to really stick to it. You want to boil it down. Check out Sam's spreadsheet. Whoa, man, that's thrilling. Yeah, dude. Sam knows how to do an Excel.

Is that what it's like in the office? I think it is, yeah. It sounds like it. Whoa, sick keyboard, man, that's thrilling. Yeah, dude. Sam knows how to do an Excel. Is that what it's like in the office? I think it is, yeah. It sounds like it. Whoa, sick keyboard, man. Whoa, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Man, do you have to whack that thing so hard? Goodness me. We order a person to sit next to.

Who's answering the phones? Do you guys know where they keep the paper? Anyone got a bulldog clip? Man. Yeah. Pens? Whereabouts are they? Anyone got a bulldog clip? Man. Yeah. Pins? Whereabouts are they? You guys will be banned from the stationary cupboard if you keep this up.

Should we go get a coffee? Oh, Curry is here. Highlight of the day. Oh, it's just another parcel for Fletchford and Hayley. Yeah, man. They're not even here. Those guys get so much free stuff. I hate them so much.

And then we turn up. They're like, oh, hey, guys. Yoo-hoo, life of the party. So apparently not only birthdays, people want pet bereavement leave. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. An extra holiday for honeymooners. No, that's part of your leave. Annual leave.

That's part of your annual leave. Holiday, you're taking the piss now. Honeymoon on your annual leave time. Honeymoon on your own time, please. Honeymoon on your own time. Exactly. So, Vaughn, your birthday's on a Monday next year. Okay, so I'll take the long weekend.

You take that off. You already work half days. You can go a long weekend there. That'll be good. What date's yours again? 23rd of June. 23rd of June. Let me just find you.

Yours is on a Friday long weekend. Long weekend. Oh, that's fantastic. I mean, there's no point in us being here if you're not here. So we should all just take it off. It's two extra long weekends. Yeah, right. That makes sense.

The top six. Which generation was the problem again? It always seems like the youngest one's getting blamed, but the one that paved the way for them probably. We're to blame. Yeah, it's us, isn't it? Damn it. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley from the bustling ZM think tank.

This is the top six. I'm puffed because I took my pants off and chased Hayley around the studio. Now that's a story. There's context. There's context. That's a story for another time. Yes, it is. Now, today's top six is the top six things in your mouth this week if you live in Auckland.

Or if you're visiting. Everything's going wrong. Or if you're visiting. Could be visiting. What happened at the weekend? Jack Johnson, Guns N' Roses, Coca-Cola Christmas in the park? Yes. God, what a mix.

How many people crossed over? The Venn diagram. A horrible weekend if you're a hardcore Jack Johnson, Guns N' Roses, Christmas carols fan. Choices to be made. Yeah. Well, the top six things in your mouth this week if you live in Auckland. Number six on the list, asphalt from that road that blew itself to pieces.

I saw that. Did you see the photo of that tyre? It looked like a donut with sprinkles on it. It looked like when people make things looked like a donut with sprinkles on it. It looked like when people make things look like a cake. Yeah. And then did you see

the guy who literally tore out one of those road reflectors and used it to scrape his tyre? No. You know those we used to

as kids you'd grow up you'd bend them over and you'd put a stone on them and you'd let them go. Oh yeah slingshots. Yeah slingshot a little rock.

Stupid thing to do on the side of the road. It was a quiet rural road. But he, yeah, tore one of those out and was just using it as like a scraping tool. Jeepers. Good Lord. Number five on the list of the top six things in your mouth this week

if you live or visiting Auckland, poos from the beaches. Yesterday, I was driving around Auckland, and my car thing said it was 28 degrees. Now, I know that the temperature didn't say it was that high. A lot of the sewage system in Auckland, when it rains too much, it just overflows into the ocean. Yeah. Which seems problematic.

Our poop goes in the ocean. And a lot of the beaches were either red or black flagged yesterday. And I went for a bicycle. A bicycle. A bicycle. a bicycle. A bicycle. A bicycle. A bicycle. A bicycle. Yeah.

And so many people were swimming at those beaches. I was like, do you not follow the news? Don't they put up signs at the beach? Shouldn't they, yeah. Shouldn't they pop out

and put up a sign saying, hey, just in case you don't follow. Because I don't understand why people don't follow the news. It's never good. It's never good. I think one beach, they had an electronic,

you know, one of those flash posh TV screens but it got vandalised. But yeah, people were going swimming and putting their head under. I was like,

okay, that's your fault for not following the news. Yeah, but at a swimming tent yesterday on my little weather station, 31.3 degrees

at quarter to four in the afternoon but it felt like 36. It was hot. It was 36. It was hot. It was beautiful. It was good. Number four on the list of the top six things in your mouth this week if you live in Auckland, MDMA from the wastewater.

So there was a story yesterday. We didn't talk about it. We toyed with the idea that there's been this huge spike in MDMA found in wastewater testing. Yeah, because they test the water for all kinds of drugs and COVID. Yeah. And they can see if there's been like a surge in cocaine usage or whatever. And they were like, the MDMA is off the charts.

What the hell's happened? Like the graph just went straight up. They estimated it was millions and millions of dollars worth of MDMA in the wastewater. They're like, what the hell? It turns out the government just flushed it down the toilet. Really? Because it was a seizure.

Yeah, it was a seizure, all this confiscated MDMA. How do you get rid of that? I think you just put it in the sink and turn that tap on hot. Right. The hot tap and the insincerator on. Wow. The sound of all the pills. Yeah.

But, like, that's bad, right? Because there have been studies that have found, like, fish in water have traces of, like, drugs and stuff. Oh, totally. When this has happened before. They're having their best time, though. Oh, yeah. Like, they're finally getting to tell each other

how much they love each other. And how good your scales feel. Yeah. The water just, oh my God. Oh my God, man, I just feel free. I just feel free.

I feel like the best I've ever felt in my life. I want to look at that. I want to taste that. I want to touch that. Oh my God, and there'll be a dry mouth and then be like,

I'm in the ocean. Wee! The salt water's only making me dry. Yeah. There was a, just to clear of fish fingers

for like the next two weeks. I'm just going to be hitting to clubs. Some fish fingers before the clubs. Should we drop a couple of fish fingers and hit deep, two weeks. I'm just going to be hitting the clubs. Some fish fingers before the clubs. Shall we drop a couple of fish fingers and have deep hearted funky? Yeah, man, let's hoon a couple of fingies before we leave. Oh, well cooked.

Perfectly cooked. Perfectly crispy. Number three on the list of the top six things in your mouth this week if you live in Auckland. Microplastics in the air. This was the big story yesterday. Literally microplastics Are raining down on us In the air

The equivalent of Millions of plastic bottles Yeah In the air yeah And we're breathing them in They're in our mouth Probably in your Exfoliant face wash too

No I don't exfoliate with I don't do the beads You don't do microbeads I tap out the beads Yeah sensitive skin Yeah Good Good for you

Number two on the list Of the top six things In your mouth this week If you live in Auckland I tapped out of the beads. Yeah, sensitive skin. Good. Good for you. Number two on the list of the top six things in your mouth this week if you live in Auckland, it would be the wind and rain. Because, boy, we've had a day's reprieve, but apparently more wild weather on the way. I don't know about you. Christmas Day's not looking good. I've had enough of wild weather. What is the New Zealand forecast for Christmas Day?

Is it too early? It's too early. It's not too early. It goes to Thursday next week, but we've got rain, rain, rain, rain, thunderstorms and rain. Hasn't been like that over some parts of the country, though. Some parts have been bathing in some sunshine.

Yeah. Bastards. Must be nice. And number one on the list of the top six things in your mouth this week if you live in Auckland. It's COVID-19, baby! Oh yeah, that's COVID-19, baby! Oh, yeah, that's up as well, isn't it? Yeah, those numbers are up.

Knocking on 6,000 cases a day again, and that's only the people that were reporting it, and I'm guessing there's a whole lot that aren't. And then at the weekend, we just had super spreader events that we talked about before. You've got your COVID Coca-Cola Christmas in the Park. There's a lot of Cs in that one. You're really dropping in the corporate sponsor there.

They're not buying us. Just call it Christmas in the Park. Christmas in the Park. Unless we're going to get one of those big slabs. Is it still sponsored by Coca-Cola Christmas in the corporate sponsor there. They're not buying us. Just call it Christmas in the Park. Christmas in the Park. Unless we're going to get one of those big slabs of... Is it still sponsored by Coca-Cola? Is it still sponsored by Coca-Cola? Oh, surely. I mean, that was great advertising.

Yeah. It's a synonymous one. Yeah, it really is. You had your Jack Johnson COVID. You got your guns in COVID. There was a lot of places and a lot of times that you could maybe have got COVID. There was a ruthless cartoon in the Herald this morning about that.

It was like a nice little Christmas scene. And all the presents are wrapped up under the tree. And then there's one that looks like a big COVID ball and it says Nan on it. Oh, no. My Nan just had COVID. Yeah, that's the thing. People are going to go home at Christmas. That's not funny.

Is that a Rob Emerson? Yeah, I believe it is. Jesus Christ. It's poignant, isn't it? It's poignant. It's going to go home at Christmas. That's not funny. Is that a Rob Emerson? Yeah, I believe it is. Jesus Christ. It's poignant, isn't it? It's poignant. It's making a point, isn't it? That's what it's there for, those political cartoons, I think. Because that's the worry is that a lot of people are going to go home this Christmas

and give it to mum, dad, you know, the vulnerable family members. You can still get, you've got to get your free rats. You can still order free rats online and go pick them up. Yeah, don't pay for them. Don't pay for them. Don't pay for them, you guys that are paying for them. Go online. Order them online and they pick them up. Yeah, don't pay for them. Don't pay for them. Don't pay for them. You guys that are paying for them. Go online.

Order them online and they're ready to pick up the same day. Yeah. Here we go. Oh, my God. Daddy, Oscar, Mum, Nan. And it's the COVID. It's actually, that's not, that's Darren. Darren Pat Parton.

Oh, is it? Okay. Whose name, every time I read it, I think it says Dolly Parton. Yeah. Darren Pat Parton. He wrote that cartoon. Well, that's on the nose. Well, that is today's Top 6.

Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. I know we've already bagged on Gen Z this morning, but the way they're dressing is odd. Like, all the 90s stuff is sort of

ugly chic. But it's weird being old enough now to see a whole trend come back that you did. Like all the late 90s, 2000s stuff. We must be due for sideburns. God, I hope not. I'm just thinking on young dudes. We must be due for sideburns. God, I hope not.

Just thinking on young dudes, we must be due for sideburns. Oh, no. Like proper sideburns, not just like a little half down the air. I'm talking like proper sideburns must be due. Because I want men to commit as hard as girls are committing. Like, I saw someone the other day

with a full mince and cheese street look. Well, where? Was that when we were in Christchurch last week? It was when we were in Christchurch last week? It was when we were in Christchurch last week. It never stopped. It never left. But, like, the guys aren't doing the early 2000s, 90s hair, which was like the spike with the gel or the frosted tip.

No, I've seen a bit of that. Get out. I have, and I was like, oh, it's here. Okay, it's here. And do you know what else I saw the other day? Someone at an ATM, a girl wearing, like, really baggy jeans. Yeah, it's here. And do you know what else I saw the other day? Someone at an ATM, a girl wearing like really baggy jeans. Yes. And because it was so wet, there was like a foot of water up the jean.

And I was like, I remember that. That was a real 90s problem, early 2000s problem. And your jeans would just be wet for days. Well, Katie Holmes has, she was attending the iHeartRadio Jingle Ball. The iHeart, what a fantastic app. Fantastic. You can listen to us, our show, anytime. Listen to ZM anytime on the go.

Wherever you are, we can follow you. I think that's the tagline. So this was in New York City on Friday, and she came out on the red carpet rocking a look. And it's a real... Oh, I didn't know that this one was going to come back. It is a tight sort of corsety mini dress over a pair of just blue jeans.

Dress over jeans. No. If you wore it the first time around, which she would have because she's 43. There's a photo of her. You don't wear it the second time around. No, you don't wear it the second time. Unless you've just continued to wear it.

She hasn't continued to wear it. And then you're exempt. I know, but so she's like, but she's got it wrong, I think. Because the jeans are always, it's got to be a slightly longer dress, maybe with a handkerchief hem and then a sort of tight to flare jean. But she's got sort of like a relaxed fit jean. And then she's wearing some like trainers. Yeah, that's not right.

I just Googled Katie Holmes and it was the first story that came up. That doesn't quite look right. It doesn't quite go right. Like there's a picture on the Harper's Bazaar website underneath of the reference from the OG Times in 2004. It's Anne Hathaway in a little sort of handkerchief dress with a flared jean and a pointed shoe. Then there's Jessica Alba in a handkerchief dress with a flared jean and a pointed shoe. Then there's Jessica Alba in a handkerchief dress with a flared jean and a pointed shoe. Misha Barton doing the same.

And people are not happy this is back. Gen Z probably is. I mean, I don't want to keep ragging on them for the whole hour of 6 a.m., but I don't know. It looks hucky to me. It looks sort of wild, and people are a little bit like, oh, no. Like, there are some things we're just choosing to ignore. You know who else was at that iHeartRadio gig?

Bethany Frankel. Have you ever listened to a podcast? What company is it? It's the Portionary Tales. Which is Pushkin Industries. Yeah, and he has this beautiful voice, and he's telling this amazing story, and then Bethany Frankel goes...

I'm Bethany Frankel! Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fletchvorn and Hayley Silly little poe Silly little poe It is so silly, silly, silly That the silly little poe Silly little poe Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. When it's hot in the car, do you turn the air con on or put down the windows? I haven't read the comments yet, but I wonder if anyone will reference the Mythbusters episode. Wawa? Huh? No. What. I get wawa.

I get the wawa in my ear. If you go one window down. I can't. It's got to be air con for me. If you get the wawa. If you're cruising like low speed, I love a window down. You know when you're doing like a long haul and then you stop through a town? Or you go through a town.

You're con off windows down. But then if it's stinking hot outside you're only bringing warm air back in but the movement and it's a bit of new air yeah

the best way to run an air con is that recirculating air so it's not trying to cool air from the outside as it comes in it's just cooling the air

that's already been cooled yeah but then you run in stale air yeah you run out and then pop the windows down get some fresh air in

dad's tooting some farts on the road. Farts and chips. Farts and chips. Farts and chips. That's your good stuff right there. So when it's hot in the car, do you put your air con on or put the windows down? 66% of people are putting the air con on. Yeah.

34% of people roll those windows down, baby. Gel says air con on and windows down until air con is ice, ice, baby. Oh, okay. Some cars take a little while for air con to pick up. No, but that's bad for your air con. Because it's just... Get the windows down. It's trying to cool the planet.

Yeah. If we all do it, it should work. Oh, my God. Why don't we do it on a large scale? Just solve climate change. I think so. Leave the fridges open and the air con on? What a great idea.

That's the bugger. Oh, my God. What about hotels that have that latch on the door that knows when you open it so it turns the air con off? Have you ever stayed in a place like that? Where are you staying? Yeah, I'm sorry. What is life like in the five star? Wow.

No, they're not even five star. Very, very relatable. The motor-ins that I stay in, the roadside lodges, never have this. No, it was like a place. They have a van. It was like a place on the Goldie. It wasn't even like Flash or anything, but it had a latch on the door. I'm strictly Bella Vista.

I'm sorry. Yes. But they know, and they know that you open the door. And so it turns the air con off. Yeah, so you can't just go out on the balcony and then, like, yeah, it's weird. Jeez. Yeah. I mean, it's good because otherwise people leave the door open.

And crank the air con. Kushler says, it's air con on for me, but only because petrol's cheaper in Australia. And when I'm home in New Zealand, it's windows down. Wow. Vegetarian, that's good. That's sensible. Zoe said, if I'm going 60 or less, windows down, 80 or more, air con on. Now, I like the sound of this.

Yeah, I'm on board. Zoe chap. Yeah, but is that based on any kind of maths or any study? Just based primarily on the wuga, wuga, wuga, wuga, wuga, wuga. Wawa. What was the Mythbusters? Mythbusters said pretty much that. Right.

The minute you start moving, it's better to have the air con on because of the wind resistance of the... Fuel economy, et cetera. Yeah, the windows down. Wind resistance affects your fuel economy more than running air conditioning. Rhiannon says windows down but air con on the motorway. So there you go again. That's a speed-related situation there.

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Both on so that hot air gets pushed out of the car by the cold air and the wind. That is logic, my friends, speed-related situation there. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. Both on so that that hot air gets pushed out of the car by the cold air and the wind. That is logic, my friends, and it works. No. I don't know. It doesn't. I don't know.

I think you're probably just getting your air con warmed up or cooled down more than it's pushing it out of the car. Makoto says, I work too bloody hard not to turn the air con on just to skimp on a bit of petrol. I'm with you. Do you do that thing, though, you know, when you're really low on petrol in like a long-haul trip, and then you turn the air con off, the radio off,

you stop breathing yourself, and you just try to like... Why do you turn the radio off to save petrol? Yeah. It doesn't use petrol. Yeah, I know. But, you know, when you feel like it. Yeah, it's like when you turn the radio down because you need to look at things.

You need to park the car. Yeah, you need to sort your senses out. Connor says, here's a science lesson. It already starts quite condescendingly, doesn't it? Connor, descendingly. Connor says, here's a science lesson. Under 50 kilometres an hour, windows down uses less fuel than air con.

Over 50 kilometres an hour, air con uses less fuel than window down due to drag. It's just science. Science. I mean, he said it was science, but you remember Zoe a while ago. She was just like, it's a gut feeling. Yeah. So what do you trust, man, your gut or science?

The stars for me. The stars for you. Yeah, I trust the moon and the stars. And Tom said, crank the air con, gets the job done faster. I was also deprived as a kid to roll the windows down. So we'll roll the windows down every now and then because we're adults now. You do you, Tom. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Back kind of at the start of the pandemic, maybe more of your like late 2020 rather than your early 2020. Oh, shit. I was going to be on a podcast and it was recording from home. What were you going to be chatting about? Was Ursula Carlson's podcast. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I said, what do I need? And she's like, oh, some people use headsets and stuff.

I was like, oh, I'll buy a microphone. I'll buy this little microphone because if we, and that's none of us that had COVID, but I was like, if we need to work from home, I have my own little microphone. Cute. And then it's a little bit cute. And so I've been using it.

I use it for like Dungeons and Dragons or like Skype, just when I'm on that computer. It's a good little microphone. I've used it for a couple of podcasts and stuff. Yesterday, I was making a video with my daughters where I was like, I'm going to try, we'll try doing voiceover

straight in the video editing software. Oh, rather than record it, save it, import it. I was like, we'll just do it straight into it. And I was like, I'll say,

girls, hold the microphone and talk into this side. And then we recorded it. And I was like, that doesn't sound right. And then record, that doesn't sound right.. And I was like, I said, girls, hold the microphone and talk into this side. And then we recorded it. And I was like, that doesn't sound right. And then record. That doesn't sound right. And then I was like, talk into the other side of it. And they were like, okay.

And then they talked into the side with the little blue light on it. And it turns out for years I've been talking into the wrong side of the microphone. Broadcasting professional, Warden Smith. Broadcasting legend, some would say. Broadcasting professional Broadcasting Warden Smith Broadcasting legend Some would say Broadcasting stalwart Broadcasting tent pole Broadcasting foundation brick

The sexy wheelbarrow The sexy wheelbarrow You've been called You've been called Do we say pioneer? Well some have said it I'm reluctant to say the P word Wow

But How do you get it so wrong? Why did no one say They couldn't hear me properly? Well, some have said it. I'm reluctant to say the P word. But I can talk into the wrong side of the microphone. Why did no one say they couldn't hear me properly? Is it a 360 mic? The only time anyone's ever said it was when I did have COVID and I was at home and I plugged it in and Fletcher's like, nah, go back to the one works dropped off because I can't hear you. I know.

You had the ear for it. But I couldn't hear myself in the microphone. Now, is this a pioneer to my left ear in Fletch? Yeah. Yeah, I remember that. I know. You had the ear for it. But I couldn't hear myself in the microphone. Now, is this a pioneer to my left ear in Fletch? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Is that the pioneer there? First female broadcaster. Well, I don't think so.

What did you say? First black lesbian female broadcaster on the moon? I don't know about that, dude. I don't know about that. That's a big claim. I don't think you can take that. You've made a big claim there. That's not yours.

I don't know if that's yours yeah yeah you can't go you can't go saying that about yourself even a radio station on the moon well there will be when you get there with your fellow lesbians i don't know who's going to the moon to broadcast surely somebody will probably just be podcast all the time you Probably won't be any FM radio. Well, I don't think there are any FM towers on the moon. Well, we can chuck one up there. Yeah, we'll biff one up. That's what they want you to think. This whole time, even when I said to you,

you just thought the mic was rubbish. It's a good mic. No one else has said anything. So I was just like, oh, okay. Like, check in with producer Jarrod. When I use it, we won't go into the nitty gritty of Dungeons & Dragons, but Jarrod's there. Oh, please do, please do. Okay, well, we won't go into the nitty gritty of Dungeons and Dragons, but Jared's there. Please do, please do.

Okay, well, we're playing a session this weekend and we haven't played for a little while in that campaign. I'm good, thank you. What does it sound like during that? Well, during our games, you're quite back from your mic. I sit behind your chair a bit. I've been half cut most of the time as well.

Not lying there. I always assumed you were just a little bit further away from the mic than you should have been. But yeah, now that makes total sense. I'm going to be up on that thing, breathing it out. You'll hear every little bit of it. But it's like literally the only piece of equipment, along with headphones, that I use for my job,

and I was using it wrong. So I was wondering if anybody listening has been using anything at their job wrong. I don't even know how, because I am incapable of any other work, I don't know what equipment you could have been using wrong. Imagine it was some kind of heavy machinery

or someone in a factory. And you know when you use something of ages and someone's like, oh, you know, who did I have to tell? Hmm, was it Sade I have to tell? Hmm. Was it Sade I had to tell? That you don't need to press caps lock, press the button, then turn caps lock off again for a capital letter. Oh, no, she hasn't been doing that.

That was years ago, but like in our 30s. Right, okay. In our 30s, I'm sure I was like, caps lock H, caps lock off to go back to lowercase. Hold shift and hit it. Yeah. And she's like, I know I prefer to do it this way, but I think she's changed. No. She was strong.

I do that. I don't use shift. What? Yeah, I go ba-da-ba. Oh, my God. I just saw you do that. You do it very quickly. You go cat's lock.

Why don't you use shift? I don't know. I'm just like, that's how I taught my fingers to do it. Oh, my God. She didn't have Mavis Beacon teach us typing. No. I didn't. She probably didn't have to type on a computer, not a typewriter.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah, no, I do that too. But I know it's wrong. I didn't. She probably didn't have to type on a computer, not a typewriter. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, no, I do that too. But I know it's wrong. Okay, well. It's not, you know. Let's take some calls. Is there something that you're using

that you've just discovered or you've discovered at some point you were doing wrong? Maybe somebody said, oh, you know, there's a quicker way to do that. And you were like, oh yeah, I just like this way. And you were like,

but show me. You should show me the way you were like, oh yeah, I just lie this way. And you were like, but show me, you should show me the way you were saying it's quicker just so I know. For reference. All right, 0800 dials at him

as a number, text in 9696. What have you been using wrong? We are talking about what you've been using wrong. I've got a microphone at home that I've been talking into the wrong side of.

And no one's ever seen it. Fletch is the only person that said, that doesn't sound right. And I just thought he was being a picky little bitch. And I said, you're not using that, didn't I? I mean, you called it. I'm sorry for having standards. High, high standards. Broadcasting standards. High, high standards for everybody but yourself. Yeah. Basically, yeah.

High, high standards. Yeah, you're a mess. So we're talking about what you've been using wrong. And maybe there was a moment of we're talking about What you've been using wrong And maybe there was A moment of realisation What are you Crying He's just realising That he's a mess

I'm a mess And his standards for himself Don't reflect the standards He holds for others But I like everybody around me To have high standards The highest The highest

It's great Brilliant You're welcome Somebody said It took me six years To realise I was using An Indonesian toilet wrong and wondered why I kept getting splashback on my face.

On your face? Lightbulb moment when I realised I had to face the wall. Now, I'm going to need to know what an Indonesian toilet is. Indonesia. Because when you stay in Bali, I don't know if you've been, Hayley. To Bali? Yeah. I Bali? Yeah. I went this year.

Do you want to dive into it? Surprising because you didn't bring it up all that much. Went to Bali. I travelled around and went to four places. I'd say one of my favourite was Sedaman. It was like a jungle. Yeah, but... Really returning to nature.

Monkeys? Were there monkeys? It was beautiful. Yeah, there were monkeys there. The weather the whole time was... Sorry, you're interrupting me. Sorry. The weather the whole time was just beautiful.

It rained in Sedona, but it was perfect because it was like the jungle. Right. It just felt really lovely. Now, the toilets in Indonesia. Now, the toilets in Indonesia. Well, we just had like Pakeha toilets. Pakeha toilets. I know they do, right?

Because everywhere I've stayed in Bali has had Pakeha toilets. So what are the toilets like when you're not in a hotel in Bali? They're not squat loos? Yeah, they are. They look like squat loos. Yeah, which I have used in Southeast Asia. How were they getting splash back? Oh, they were, okay, so they may have been squatting

but facing away from the wall and then pointing it down and then your urine would hit that flat surface and shoot back up, whereas if you're facing the wall, it's a sharper drop off into water. Right. But on a squat toilet for men, would you squat or would you just aim? You'd aim. Well, no, you would aim if you were standing,

if you were just doing number ones, but if you were a combo, if you were having a combo, you'd probably have to just shoot it down. Fascinating. Fascinating stuff. That's somebody using it wrong, but they learnt. They learnt. Let's go to Todd. Todd, what did you find out you were using wrong?

Not me, but a good friend of mine. He was a fully qualified engineer, and I jumped out of his ute one day to help to fuel it up for him and I started fueling up and clutched the handle into continuous flow like you do and he just kind of jumped back. How the hell did you do that? Oh no!

He's been standing there holding it his entire bloody life. Oh my god. Had he never seen anybody else on the forecourt not right by their vehicle? I don't know. And you're telling me this man is a fully certified engineer? And his dad was as well.

I couldn't quite believe it. What do they build just so I can not go on the bridges? Yes. The Auckland Harbour Bridge, probably. Todd, thank you for your call. Ask some more messages in. I'm a student nurse. I bought my own stethoscope.

I had the earbuds the wrong way around for a year. Oh, my God. Your heartbeat sounds absolutely fine. What do you think? She had the earbuds. Is there a left and right? There might be because maybe it's shaped. It's curved.

It is curved like that. So if you had it around the wrong way. It would be pointing in. It would be pointing in and the ears wouldn't fit properly. And pushing in the air. Oh, bye. A doctor once said to me, I think you've got that stethoscope around the wrong way.

Oh, condescending from a doctor. Yeah. How dare you? Also kind of hot, like a power play. Like, where are we going? Behind this curtain. I don't know what's happening now. Yeah, let's go to the closet room.

Let's just see. Yeah. And then they're like, and the right one goes in this ear and they nuzzle into the ear and you feel the hot breath of the doctor that's just saved somebody's life. Yeah.

The coldness of the metal shelves pressing into your back. Yeah. Next thing you know, you're being lifted by the doctor. Such powerful arms, delicate, life-saving hands yeah as they slide up your leg underneath your little nurse's skirt you are grossing out producer jared

excuse me we are writing illerotic literature the people deserve it it's the festive season yeah someone's getting someone was getting hot. They don't want that to stop. Maybe we do a podcast. Last time I was in a... Oh, yeah, erotic... Erotic adverts. Yeah.

Erotic... Yeah. Back and forth, back and forth. Improvised erotica. Yeah, that's good. Improvica. Yeah, I don't know if you've been into a hospital recently. It doesn't really happen like that.

They don't really wear skirts. They're not wearing their short little skirts? They wear like a pant situation. But how do they wear pantyhose under the... As his hand reached inside the elastic band of my sexy nurse's pants. Scrubs. You forgot about taking off the Crocs first. Well, no, leave the Crocs on, baby.

That's what he said. That's what he says. He says to me, I have to wear a formal... I want to slip my small, delicate foot out of my warm, well-worn crop. And he said, leave it in. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM. More financial pain on the way.

The reserve bank is rising. The short-cutting inflation has pushed the reserve. Cost of living. Cost of living crisis. And the recession is inevitable. The official Fletchbourne and Hayley Ice Cream Index. Well, with the cost of living crisis, we are making a list of the biggest ice creams in the country.

We want your Whoppers. If you're out this summer, you need a Whopper. Yeah. You need that big ice cream. More bang for your buck. Yeah. Today, the top of the South. Yes.

Nelson. Let's have a little look. Hmm. Now, I've had some bougie suggestions, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to absolutely strike them from the list. Well, if it's ice cream, it's allowed, but we're not doing gelatos, are we? Well, you've made your stance very staunchly.

We've absolutely taken a hard stance. Okay. Now, there's a place called Appleby Farms. Quite a few people suggest Appleby Farms. Now, if you go to their website, applebyfarms.co.nz, their first recommendation is their new product, the frozen yogurt. No. No, I'm sorry.

I know, but no. Now, next down, it starts getting into their ice creams. Very bougie little tubs. Very bougie little tubs. Oh, very bougie little tubs. Very bougie little tubbies. Very bougie little tubs. They do, however, do a rolled ice cream. Yeah, good, okay.

And a waffle cone that is then put in a little paper thing and sat in a little tray. So, to me, they qualify on that alone. God, that boysenberry one looks delicious. Boysenberry ice cream rules. Isn't that Tip Top's number one seller?

Boysenberry ripple. It's a classic. It's a classic. But do you think with this level of bouge because we're wanting size bang for buck

are they giving the big whopping scoops because when I look at it a two scoop looks like a two scoop. Yeah, two scoops certainly is just

a two scoop and a waffle cone. You're not getting a freebie there, are you? I think we could put that on the map but add a B next to it for bougie. Okay. A B, a little B for bougie. A B for bougie. Someone has recommended from the area the Kaiteritiri Campground. Oh, yeah.

Now, they say expensive but huge. Okay. So how do we feel about that? Yeah. Given that they're saying they're expensive. How much is expensive though for this person? Because we haven't really delved into prices at any of these places. No, we haven't yet. We've just gone big.

Right. But they could be like paying $5 and saying that's expensive. But if you're getting a three, four scoop ice cream. Yeah. It's a beautiful spot. That's one of the most beautiful beaches in the country. I've never been. Have you never been?

That looks incredible. Yeah, it's quite beautiful. Now, I believe they've got a real fruit option there, and we have said we're steering away from real fruit ice cream. Yes. Because it's not scooped and rolled. It's pooped out the bottom of the funnel, isn't it? Okay, so that's on the list. So expensive but huge.

So, you know, keep that in mind. Top of the town dairy in Mochueka. I'm excited to tell you it is legitimately what I visualised when we started doing the ice cream index. Yes, good stuff. There is a couple of real fruit ice cream machines, but no, sir, the true champion is going to be the the ice cream index. Yes, good stuff. There is a couple of real fruit ice cream machines, but no, sir, the true champion is going to be the rolled ice cream. And in the picture on Google, they've even done that thing

where one of the boxes is about to be finished, so they've made a few balls and put it in the new ice cream box on top. Ready to go, baby, ready to go. Waste not, waste not. It's good preparation. Yeah, great preparation of the ice cream. So we're going to put the top of the town dairy in Mochoaca on the list as well. Pinguino's Ice Cream Cafe.

Yeah, now Pinguino's is a famous place in Nelson. But is it a bit posh? It's a bit posh. It's bouge. It's a bouge, but it does a scoop. Yeah, it does ice cream. Well, I'd put a B for bougey next to it. I'm having a look.

Pinguino's Ice Cream. Oh. Yeah, they make a black, four days ago they were skiting about their blackcurrant yogurt gelato, but again, I'm not interested in gelato

or frozen yogurt. Well, they've got ice cream, so I'd put them on the list. Yeah, it's a flash in the pan. It's on the list. With a B for bougie. B for bougie. With a B for bougie.

Now, what can you tell me about Rye Valley ice cream? Well, I don't know, I know where Rye Valley is, but we've had a lot of messages about this, haven't we? This is what they've just said, Rye Valley, cream. Well, I don't know. I know where Rye Valley is, but we've had a lot of messages about this, haven't we? Okay, this is what they've just said. Rye Valley, yes. Okay.

It looks very bougie. You'd stop there on the way. If you were on the road, you'd stop there. That'd be a good place to stop if you were going to, like, blend them all picked in on the way. Okay, on the way out. Between Nelson and Pickton. Right, okay.

Hamish is in Marpur. Now, apparently, they're an Applebee outlet. Do Applebees have sort of an ice cream monopoly on the market or is there a duopoly in the area? Because we're getting a lot of reports of this Applebee farm ice cream situation. But apparently Hamish's will do a good size. Okay, well, that's what we want. That's in Marpua there, so that can go on the list.

But again, it might have a little beef or bougie beside it. We've got quite a bougie feel here. Any classic dairies? Yeah, Top of the town dairy in Mochueka was your most classic recommendation. So, that's the top of the south. That's the top of the south.

Again, we're adding all these to the map. The map will be released soon. You know exactly where to start for a bloody good ice cream. Tomorrow, we're going to have to deal with the capital city. So, prepare. Do you have any recommendations for your hood? Okay, well that's tomorrow on the Ice Cream Index.

Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. However year. It's been one for the books, hasn't it? Oh, hasn't it been? But financially this year's been tougher next year, maybe tougher, join to talk

money, money, money. Brad Olsen, hello. Good morning. Good morning. You didn't introduce him by his formal title. Bad news. Brad, I'm not sure if he's going to have bad news for us or not. I thought you were going to say formal title as in like senior economist. Senior economist. I feel like bad news Brad is still pretty apt

at this time. I'm so sorry guys but 2022 has not been fun in this role, and sometimes I think that next year is going to be worse, not better. One day we will introduce you as Good News Brad. Yeah, we'll have to change his name. Along for the day. Good News Gary or something like that. Now, the reason we've got you in today is because right now you can download on our podcast feed a big Q&A

that we've done with you. I'm very excited. I mean, there's been some great questions that have come in. I think everyone's pretty interested. I mean,

it's not the greatest news that people are thinking of, but it's important coming into summer, you know, and listening to all of our lovely tones talking about finance.

I mean, what more could you ask? To be fair, you joke, but every time we have you on the show, everyone's like, more, more, more, more, more. That's why we had to do this extended version because we just run out of time.

When we talked about my Instagram feed last time, my Instagram follower numbers just blew up. Where are you at now? I think I'm just under like 2,000 or something. Oh, we're going to get that up. Do you get people asking you questions? All the time. On there, yeah?

Like Hayley. Yeah, apart from Hayley. Well, I... Who ignored your advice to moderate her renovation. See, I think that actually by the sounds of it, the advice was perfectly taken. Had a bit of an assessment. What are we going to do?

Is it worthwhile? Is it what we want? Is it what we can afford? And maybe, you know, we'll make it work. And the answer to all the questions Brad got me to ask myself was, no, we did it anyway. Brad Olsen NZL is your Instagram. Let's pop that off again.

Now, we go into the podcast and the big Q&A. We go into all the interest rates and stuff. But just generally, what do we think of 2023? Oh, look, I think that's probably going to be the year of reckoning for a lot of people. It's going to be a lot tougher. Reckoning! That's almost biblical, Brad.

If you will, I think next year is when people consolidate a bit more. You're going to have to be a lot more quick and on to it with your finances. You're going to want to make sure that when you can, you can cut or trim the fat a little bit more. You're just not going to be able to afford exactly the same as what you did this year, realistically. So I think coming into the new year, now is the time for the financial detox a little bit more,

but an opportunity to get ahead of it rather than letting it hit you and letting it bowl you over. If you can sort of put your feet firmly in the sand, you're able to hit the wave easier. Great excuse to downgrade everybody's Christmas presents. Yes. Oh, totally. And I would like to introduce you to my wife.

As a Grinch, as a Christmas Grinch, I'm so excited to be able to say, look, Adrian always told me not to spend. I've been telling people not to spend. I've got to take my own medicine. Sorry, guys. How much does an economist spend on a Christmas present? I was just going to say,

are you a dud Christmas buyer? Oh, 100%. Yeah. We're currently doing Secret Santa in the office and I've told everyone that the best option for me, it's a $20 limit, the best option would be a $20 note. That means I can choose my own prison afterwards.

Absolutely. Oh my god, I'd be stoked. It's cash equivalent, Brad. Exactly. Is cash still king? Well, I think for some people it is. I mean, I literally can't tell you the last time I paid for something with cash, but that's a generational thing. You know, I've used my card or my Apple Pay or whatever it might

be. Cash is still good, especially when it comes in a card from family members. Because upon your advice, Brad, I'm renovating my house and you said that it was fine to do so, so that's why I'm doing it.

I've literally borrowed hundreds of thousands of dollars. She actually printed out your Instagram DM and took it to the bank and was like, had you guys ever watched the news? But we found...

Did they kick you straight out? There's a little discrepancy in our kitchen cabinetry, and there's a small gap, and we were like, let's put something in there, like a message in a bottle. But should I put a whole wad of cash? I mean, only if you can get it out again. If it's closed off after you've done it, you don't want to have to, like, un-renovate and then re-renovate again.

Because it'll cost more than the cash that's behind it. Just put a roll of cash into one of the wine bottle holders that I've seen you've got. Well, but I don't have any rolls of cash because you told me to renovate my house. This is the problem that we've got here. Wait, but would it be worth... Hold on, when you say you're putting cash away,

if someone just put away cash, when they got it out again, would it be worth more or less? Yeah, I was just about to say, in all seriousness, you don't actually want to have too much cash. So the whole idea of stuffing it under your mattress or whatever,

that's only good if you think that everything is going to go completely bonkers and that cash is still going to be important. Realistically, it'll buy you less given how much inflation is going up. So if you really want to at the moment, I think for a lot of people, if you want it to be safe and accessible, but you also want it to be making a bit of money, you're probably looking at a term deposit or some sort of savings account. At least it's making a little bit more than what it was before. It's not a lot, it's not heaps, but it's better than leaving it under the mattress. Can I ask one question? Because I know that we're going to go deep and that we deepen this in the

podcast. But I feel like one of the questions that people don't understand is why are we having this recession? Like why are we forcing it? Why are we forcing it? Because we're trying to do too much with too little. We've all been collectively spending more than our means. And effectively that means that as we do that, everyone's trying to buy more and more stuff. There's not as much stuff to go around. And so if that's the case, if you're building and I'm building at the same time,

I want to make sure that my house gets built before yours. So I'm going to pay more to the builder. If you want the house to be built, you're going to pay more. It's the same house at the end of the day and we're all paying more for it. So it's supply and demand. Demand is high, supply is not quite reaching it

and because we can't just click our fingers and make more stuff up or make more people up, we have to spend less. Well, Brad, you've given me advice. Let me give you some advice. Don't renovate right now. I'm telling you, mate. It's a terrible time to do so.

Yeah, well, we dive into that whole bunch of stuff in the podcast special where you get the Fletchvorn and Hayley podcast, iHeartRadio, wherever you podcast. Brad Olsen, thank you so much. Thank you very much. Yesterday, I walked into the kitchen, I looked out the window

and I saw what I believe to be our youngest Highland cow on the lawn. Now, recently. Hattie. Yeah, Hattie, the calf. Recently, the cows made their way onto the lawn overnight through a fence. They made a great escape. Yeah, they made a great escape and a great bloody mess too.

They ate like fruit trees and they made a real big mess. So I thought I saw Hattie out on the lawn in a part of the garden, and I slowly walked into the lounge and I said, family, Hattie's on the lawn. I part of the garden, and I slowly walked into the lounge, and I said, family, Hattie's on the lawn. I'm going to need everybody to go out. We're going to slowly and calmly return her to the paddock. That's nice. By making like a human kind of a fence.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And slow walking. Yeah. And trying to, you know, relax. Yeah. You don't want to panic him. No. Imagine Chris Pratt in the Jurassic World series,

and I'm like, arms out. With the little guys. Yeah, with the raptors. Raptors. Except, you know, if it all goes wrong, I'm not going to get eaten. And so I drag everybody out. I'm like, put something on your feet. Made a big deal out of it, and we're going to do this slowly.

And then we walk out, and Sade said, where is she? And I said, over there. And she said, Vaughn, that's a pot. What? We've got an orange ceramic pot. A terracotta. It was a terracotta. Terracotta.

The same-ish color. I would say identical color. No. When I was looking, I was looking through a fruit tree, and there was a little avocado tree and then the pot. And so the avocado trees, a couple of the orange-y leaves on that made it look like the tail. Yeah. You avocado trees, a couple of the orangey leaves on that made it look like the tail. Yeah, you've put this

on your Instagram story. Yeah. I saw it last night and I was like, that's a pot. Yeah, you said that's a pot. I got so many people messaging back saying, you're telling me that's not a cow. I'm telling you that's a pot. Right. And other people saw a whole range of different things. Did you wonder

why the pot wasn't moving? I just thought she might have found something she really liked eating. So she was just like nibbling on that and just being chill about it. We need to sort your eyes out. Because yesterday you dropped some stuff off from the Christmas party. And you're like, whose prescription sunglasses are these? Put them on and was like, oh, wow. Yeah.

They really crisped. Crispened? Crispened. Crisp. Crisp. Crisped. Crispened. Sharpened.

Sharpened. Christianed? Christianed. They really sharpened my vision. They sharpened your vision. They sharpened my vision. Yeah. Because you've had laser eye surgery. Yeah, but it's.

But it's. It fades. Wearing off. I recently, I had an eye test last week. Past flying colours. Yeah, me too. Perfecto. And I said to the lady,

I said, I've got great vision. She said, well, for now. Yeah. They all say for now. I think soon you're going to be blind though because you're using steroid eye drops. Well, I've got an enlarged ball. Yeah, you do. Eyeball. I've got an enlarged eyeball. When he blinks, he blinks one and then the other a bit slower. Not enlarged, what do you call it?

Inflamed. Engorged. And it's inflamed. You've got an engorged ball. I've got an inflamed ball. He's got engorged balls. No, but I've been using these steroid drops. It's been calming it down. Calming it. It's good stuff.

You've got monkey pox. No, I don't believe it. I don't think I've got monkey pox, no. Right. Did you go to the ball doctor? The eyeball doctor. I went to the optometrist. Yes.

Are they doctors? Great question. I don't know. Because they're really good. That's so good at going. Because I went to my doctor. I went to my doctor and he's like, you need to go to an optometrist. And I was like, oh.

Like a specialist. They're not a medical doctor. But they train for a long time. An optometrist receives a doctor of optometry degree after completing four years. That's a long time. They're a doctor. Yes. What's the step up from an optometrist?

They're an eye doctor, a specialist. Yeah, but what's that called? Ophthalmologist. Is that... Oh, okay. Official. Well, let's hope it doesn't get to that. Yeah, they're so good at going one or two, one or two,

which is clearer, three or four, three or four. Yeah, it's all... It's not just that now with the eye tests. They've got like a machine with lasers. I know. And there was a hot air balloon picture in the machine, and it went in and out of focus. Oh, yeah, and that was measuring your eye, right?

And the one that squirts puffs of air in your eyeball. That's the glycoma. That's to check the pressure of your eyeball, because if it doesn't bounce back, you've got a deflated ball, and you need a bit. They can't pump it up. Oh, no, that'd be sad. What happens if you've got a deflated ball? They can't pump it They can't pump it up. Oh, no, that'd be sad. What happens if you've got a deflated ball?

They can't pump it up. You're on your way out. Right, okay. I'll get a glass eye, but I get it such a different colour. Yeah, because I was like, oh, my God, what if I have to wear an eye patch? Everyone would think I'm a pirate. Dude, they would rule.

Yeah, it would be confusing. I think it would be the making of you. I think it would be the making of you. It could be a real good character trait, eh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It could be quite cool. And a different story every time as to what happens. Well, are you going to get your eyes sorted?

I've got my prescription. Let's deal with the teeth first. I'm going to order. Deal with the teeth. Add it to the list, you know what I mean? That sounded really bad. Every facial feature I have is falling apart in some way or another. Mind you, my smell's been on point lately.

He's a sniffer. Yeah, right, he can whip out, he can sniff out. Yeah, he's a sniffer. Well, it's the impossible phone-in topic, a topic that we think is so impossible, we'll be lucky to even get a call for it. Mm-hmm. There was a...

There is a policewoman in the United Kingdom who lived quite a lavish lifestyle. Holidays, designer sunglasses. They rented a 5,000 pones a month rental. She's on the take. I've seen enough shows to know if a cop was living like that. Bad coppers.

Well, the claim is that she is not. She believed that her husband, Julian, could afford this expensive life because he worked as a private chef for footballers. Oh my god, I follow a private chef who cooks for one of the British teams.

One of the famous British football clubs. Manchester United. Yeah, something like that. Liverpool. Yeah, sure, one of those. Liverpool United. They get like a bloody... Liverpool Incorporated. Camden Racetrack sings a song. That's it, that's it. Anyway, so she thought that that's what he was doing. Turns

out, um, he is a major drug dealer. Major drug dealer. And she's a police woman, police officer, and didn't spot a single thing. Well, that's the debate. That's like when the teacher's kids

are the worst behaved. Yeah. And the teacher's are real strict. You're like, I don't, this are the worst behaved. Yeah. And the teachers are real strict. You're like, I don't, this doesn't add up. Yeah. You're a hard ass and your kid's the worst behaved child at school. Yeah. So he was using one of those encro chat, like an encrypted chat app where police can't see it, right? And then the National Crime Agency in the UK infiltrated this app and caught a whole bunch of people, including her husband, whose handle was Nice Moon. Nice Moon. Nice Moon. For all your cocaine goods.

What? Okay, but they've proven that she had no involvement. Was he using her knowledge of the police? Was he asking her like casual questions at home? I mean, probably. What are you guys working on at the police? Was he asking her casual questions at home? What are you guys working on at the moment? None of that's discussed, but it was major. Massive gun deals, huge parcels of cocaine weighing 100kgs each. 100kgs of cocaine?

But imagine, like, assuming she didn't have any idea, you'd feel pretty stink. A, you had no idea that your partner was a criminal. A criminal, like a full-blown, he's in prison. The police busted their house and found all this stuff. And they have been asking her, like, how did you not catch on to this? There was cocaine, like, everywhere.

On, like, lots of their cards, credit cards and stuff. They had all this money hidden in Louis Vuitton boxes. I mean, it's just sort of wild. But she was like, I did not know. She must have just turned a blind eye. Or she knew. Yeah, yeah, exactly. She liked the lifestyle association.

She's been fired. She's been fired. Because they were like, this is too on the nose. The amount of stuff they found. Anyway, so this is our impossible phoner. Did you discover that your spouse was a criminal?

Or was hiding a dark criminal secret from you? Maybe they were like this. A drug peddler. If you were with someone a long time, you'd figure it out, right? Yeah. But if you had just started dating someone, you would have no idea, right?

That's probably not your opening line. But if they were all, also it was underway when you started dating them, so there was no massive change in behaviour, would you know? Like this guy's like, from day dot, I am a professional private chef for this professional football team. Absolutely. She goes to work, he goes to work. Yeah. That's it. And it sounds like he was pretty high up. So, you know, he's not out on the

street as the face of this thing. He's the organizer of this whole thing. That's why he's so rich. Okay, well, 0800, dial to them as our number. Give us a call or text 9696. Could be impossible, but did you discover that your spouse had a criminal secret? Your partner.

Let us know. Well, the impossible phone-in topic. I wanted to know if you discovered your partner had a criminal secret. There was a cop in the UK. She found out after her house was raided that her husband was a major drug dealer. Major, big time. She said she had no idea.

She was like, I had no idea. No, and she's lost her job and everything. But it turns out, not impossible at all. No. We're going to do some juicy little stories. We are. Hello, Sharice. Hello, Sharice.

Hi. So I had gone to the States when I was 20 to go work in the carnivals. Yeah. And I met an American guy, and love is blind. Love is blind. And we dated throughout the year that I was there. And I'd known that he'd been to prison. And he just told me the whole time that it was for a drug deal gone wrong.

So I just kind of thought, oh, okay, you know, he was young and stupid. And at the end of the year, when it was time to go back home, I found out that in this drug deal gone wrong, he'd actually stabbed someone. Sorry. Sorry. I mean, technically, it was a drug deal gone wrong, he'd actually stabbed someone. Oh, my God. Sorry. Sorry. I mean, technically, it was a drug deal gone wrong, wasn't it? Yeah, and he'd left the knife behind, and that's how they found him. And, yeah, he'd gone to prison for, like, a couple of years.

Wow. It's not funny, is it? But, man, it's sort of hilarious. Add daughter moving to the U.S. to work at the carnival on the list of things my children won't be doing. Yeah. When you say work at the carnival, do you mean like the Sizzler ride, the little...

Pshh. Whee. Pshh. Whee. Yeah, yeah. So there's a company in South Africa that markets the carnivals as like your OE. Oh, okay, right.

So that's what I did, yeah. Right. Wow. So not only can you go work in the cams, do the summer cams, you can do the carnies. Go work at the carnies. Go work at the carnies. Wow, okay, right. So that's what I did, yeah. Right. Wow. So not only can you go work in the cams, do the summer cams, you can do the carnies. Go work at the carnies. Go work at the carnies. Wow.

Okay, Charisse. I bet American carnies are next level. Well, they would be. They would have next level carnies. Yeah, like, yeah, jumpsuits, orange jumpsuit kind of people. Orange jumpsuit kind of people. Oh, my God, I love Charisse. Let's give her back one day.

Thank you, Cherise. Some messages in. When did you find out your partner was a criminal? I found out my partner, my partner for about six months was on P. I had no idea. I found a pee pipe.

I was absolutely blindsided and then the little things started to add up. He was out that day. Someone said this happened to a mate of mine, full Walter White situation. Really?

Mm. My wife got taken to the police station for questioning about smuggling drugs out of Bali. No further follow-ups on that. That's literally all it says. Wait, did she? What happened? I mean, you just don't do that in Bali. I mean, you don't do that full stop, but especially in Bali.

Because you'll never be, you'll go straight to prison. Yeah, you don't risk it. And they could shoot you. You don't risk it. Thailand, you don't do that full stop, but especially in Bali, because you'll never be, you'll go straight to prison. Yeah, you don't risk it. And they could shoot you. You don't risk it. Thailand, you'll probably be fine. But Bali, a bit more risky. I was in a five-year relationship. He was a plasterer, and I worked and stayed home with the kids,

but I found out eventually he was dealing methamphetamine on the side with a big gang involvement to make extra money. He hid it for four years before I found out everything. It was insane. Four years? There's so much more to the story, but that's the good, short, radio-friendly version, and we appreciate it keeping it tight. Was he hiding it in the wall and plastering over it? I hope

he was. Or he was mixing it into the plaster. It was plaster. It was the house. People were just going to lick the walls. And then grind it down. Stacey, good morning. Good morning. Now, Stacey, when did you find out your partner was a criminal?

So it wasn't my partner. It was my sister. Okay. Goodness. So I live in the North Island. She lives in the South Island. And as far as I knew, she was a university lecturer. And when I'd come down and visit and we were out,

sometimes she'd see people and she'd go, hi, so-and-so, and say, yeah, they're studying XYZ at university, that's their name. Yep. Now, I went back up north and one of my friends who had a daughter was coming down to university, was there for one year, came back up, and I said, oh, look out for my sister.

Her name is da-da-da. And her daughter laughed and said, she's not a lecturer. She's a local drug dealer at the uni. First of all, two questions. How did she know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, good question. So she was the university, unofficial I'm imagining,

unofficial university drug dealer. Well, my sister, I found out, actually worked in the cafeteria. So people would come see her and get whatever they needed, but she knew them by name. Get a spag bowl and some spaggies. Yeah. So was she caught? No, she's still working there as far as I understand. Jesus!

Well, we've just dropped that grenade, haven't we? Holy! Holy! Our universities are on holiday now anyway. Yeah. Wow, Stacey. Incredible. Thank you for sharing.

Wild. My lowlife ex was done for importation and our house was searched by the cops with dogs. It was so scary and to make it worse he wasn't even home when it happened.

I had to deal with it. It was terrifying. Oh, wow. Awful. My husband only told me years into our relationship that he wasn't sure if he still had

a criminal record on. What do you mean you're not sure? I was like, sorry, what? Hey, babe, should we go holiday in the United States? No, not there.

Yeah. It turns out his dad had been in prison United States? Oh, no, not there. Yeah. It turns out his dad had been in prison fairly recently. They got their house raided when he was younger. Oh, wow. Yeah. Ex-friend's husband had a crash on his way to work. He was a truck driver. The police found drugs in his vehicle,

and it turns out he'd been transporting drugs for a gang as part of being a truck driver. You just kind of don't think that stuff happens. I mean, it does, but you forget, eh? I know. I was sleeping with a bodybuilder. He was doing human growth hormones and roids and selling them. It didn't last long and neither did he.

Tiny balls. Yeah, tiny little balls. Doesn't it make you shrink up? Yeah. Yeah, it gives you bad skin and tiny balls. My partner got stopped at Auckland Airport with traces of cocaine all over his bag. The funny thing was it was actually his parents' suitcase. Mum and dad.

But also, isn't that scary that it could fall out of someone else's suitcase in the whole process? Yeah. And then you get pinged for it? Yeah. Yeah. Somebody is literally working at the airport transporting drugs and they trip or sneeze

and blow it all over your bag and then it's on your bag forever. My neighbours, the wife thought the husband was a chemist. Turns out he was running a drug ring. She claims she didn't know but happily drove a Lamborghini, which didn't fit a chemist's salary. Yeah, like that's the thing. This is wild.

I didn't find out my ex was a criminal until her house got raided by the police and I got a firearms charge. I didn't even know it was in the roof space and that's now on my record

for my whole life even though it wasn't my gun. Oh, that's not fair. That sucks. That's not fair. Wow, there are so many stories. Yeah, this is wild. There might be some more in here.

They just, honestly, they're just not stopping. I know, I feel like I would know. Erin's such a bad liar. You know what I mean? I'd be like, oh. When we were living in Australia, my wife was disgusted at the price of Fijos.

They're $2 each there. And of course, you don't pay for Fijos in New Zealand. You get them free off somebody's tree. So she put a kg of Fijos through his brown onions. Now every time I'm at the supermarket now and find something outrageous in price I look at her and ask

is this a brown onion? This is a dark world of living. Of all the stories we have heard that is the most disgusting. But also the technology is caught up now.

You can't do that. It'll identify it. Because it scans the fruit and sees that it's a green item. I think all these other ones I could forgive but that one. No, not that one. that. It'll identify it. Because it scans the fruit and sees that it's a green item. I think all these other ones I could forgive, but that one. No, not that one. That's unbelievable, isn't it? I couldn't live with a criminal like that. Yeah, no.

We've got a special podcast out today. It's out now with economist Brad Olson. We have him on the show so much. We get a lot of questions. We talk all the, you know, serious things. Recession, interest rates, housing prizes. Prizes? Prizes.

Yeah, we've got prizes coming up. I won mine in a raffle. Yeah, I was going to say, next year we're giving away lots of houses. Yeah. So it's like nearly an hour long, and we get into all of your questions that you sent in. And, yeah, you can download it now. He's a great guy.

Fascinating. Fascinating stuff. It's a light guy. Fascinating. Fascinating stuff. It's a lighthearted look at the upcoming financial apocalypse. Well, we have a laugh. We have a laugh. But we do have a laugh, don't we? He tells us about our financial demise in easy-to-understand terms. Yeah, exactly.

Because I've always admired about him. You can download that wherever you get the Fletch, Warren and Hayley podcasts right now. Although time for... Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Today's fact of the day is that owls hate eagles and eagles hate owls. They got beef.

They got poultry. Why do they hate each other? I watched a 15-minute long chat on YouTube last night about why owls and eagles hate each other. Owls were actually around before eagles. Owls, as we know them, were around before eagles. But are owls jealous that eagles have bigger wings? And not a flat face.

Owls rule. Did you just face shame owls? I hatels rule. Did you just face shame owls? I hate owls. How do you face shame owls? The moor pork. I hate them. My moor pork's back. Oh, they're beautiful.

I sat outside last night. It was a balmy evening. I sat outside last night and listened to my roo-roo sing. And when I say sing, it's just... Over and over again. But I love owls Yeah they're great I hate them

What do you hate about them? I don't like the way Their head moves Dude Their head moves Their eyes Their eyes are amazing And the fact that they fly

Silently They're like a stealth killer And they killed that lady In the stairs They didn't kill the lady In the staircase Yeah they killed the lady In the staircase

That's a poor Poor explanation From his defence Are we sure about that? It certainly wasn't an owl they killed that lady in the stairs. They didn't kill the lady in the staircase. Yeah, they killed the lady in the staircase. That's a poor, poor explanation from his defense. Are we sure about that? It certainly wasn't an owl. But eagles, loud, obnoxious. Yeah. Powerful.

Proud. Big. I see why they hate them. They're full of themselves. They're kind of like the opposite, but they're the same. Well, so the owl was always the top of the food chain for that area.

Fast, flying, and eating, and swoops down and eats. And then evolution gave us the eagle. Yeah. And they do share a space. You don't often hear about the fact that they share territories, but they do share territories. But when's the last time you nearly ran over an owl eating a dead possum? Exactly.

Well, no, that's a hawk. Different again. Eagle, hawk, same thing. Exactly. Well, no, that's a hawk. Different again. Eagle, hawk, same thing. No. Please, sir, please, sir. They look the same to me. They'd be on the road eating a possum either way. Yeah.

But an owl wouldn't be. No, no, no, no. They're classier. They're like a fresh kill. But they can't eat it because their face is like. What do you call a person that loves birds? A birdologist. Aviologist. Nah.

A nerd? Sorry, I'm kidding. A bird... Bird nerd. Bird nerd. Okay, so bird nerds. Bird nerds have got to be on the owl side of things. But so,

the owls. A birder, you call them a birder. No, that's a person that looks at birds. Yeah, what do you want? Orthopola, like the specialist. Specialist studies birds. The science of bird studying. Orthonol, it starts with O.

No, Opta's eyes. Optimus Prime. Oh, that's him. It's an ornithologist. Ornithologist. Ornithologist. I would have thought that was a specialist in awnings. They walk outside a caravan, they're like, not bad, not bad.

Not bad. Good animals, I like that. Do they do sunshades on decks? Yeah, anything that quantifies as an awning. An ornithologist. And also owls and eagles. So owls, because they can function so well at night, eagles are more of a day bird.

Owls actually steal baby eagles from the nest and eat them. Those bastards. They what? They steal the babies? They steal the babies of their enemy and they eat them. I mean, that's a big move. It's a power move. It's a power move.

That's for sure. So, yeah, they don't get on. They're very territorial. They fight for the right to party. Yes. But, yeah, it's mostly territorial. Okay. And the owls eat the eagles.

But they don't like each other. They never have. And owls were around first. That's what I found very fascinating about my limited research for this. Wow. Okay. Is that owls were around before eagles, and they do not get on whatsoever. And I love them.

I love you, owls. If any owls are listening, I love you. I think you're the coolest bird. Yeah, they're cute AF. Wow, they're very dangerous killers. I'm trying to do an owl. The head? Oh, yeah, they rule.

So today's fact of the day is owls hate eagles and eagles hate owls. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Lucy from the office is in to talk about her latest adventures in public blow-offs. Lucy, before we talk about this public blow-off, did you hear our... Why are we using that word? I just think it's Vaughan's choice.

I said we should call them blow-offs because that's what we called them growing up. Yeah, toots. Farts. Farts. You didn't say farts in our house, you got told off. But Lucy, did you listen this morning? We were trying to figure out what people in the office do. And what did it come down to?

They get coffee and they check the printer for paper. Yeah. And they go, where's my email? Yeah. They go, turn the air con off. Yeah. I need to post something. Oh, you mean just in general? Yeah. My chair's squeaky. Yeah. They go, turn the air con off. Yeah. I need to post something. Oh, you mean just in general?

Yeah. My chair's squeaky. Yeah. When's Christmas? Yeah, we don't spend a lot of time in the office. We just wait for lunch. Yeah. There, where's man?

I'd be waiting for the next break. Yeah. Only eight hours to go. That's what they say. They still say that. Another day, another dollar as they walk out the door. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the office here, known for the odd tutor.

Georgia Burt's a bit of a tutor, isn't she? Georgia Burt is the worst. She just walked in. She probably had to stink up the producer's booth. Yeah. But you had an embarrassing moment. You went to the movies. I did.

What movie? The Menu. Was it good? It was good. So I was told it's satire. I don't actually really know what that means. I think, doesn't it mean like... It's not a good thing to say on a show

where we've absolutely ripped Gen Z to shreds this morning. Hey, I'm not Gen Z. How old are you? 27. Oh, cusp. Cusp. Yeah, Gen Z cusp. So at this movie.

Yeah. Gold Class. I think I missed that out when I first saw it. Oh, you didn't tell us, eh? The Christmas party dancing. But what that means is it's a small theatre. Yeah, it does, yeah. Less seats.

Had a bit of a sore tummy. So I'm quite an indecisive person. I didn't want to toot. But then I got around to thinking, you know, I can do this. So I waited for a really build up in the movie, you know, those like dramatic scenes. The music. Yes.

Like that. And then it was like, I don't know if they were trumpets or what. It was loud. And I thought, this is my time. There's no better instrument to hide a fart under than a trumpet. Yeah. Perfect. It's the fart instrument.

It is. But I left it too long. And so as I release, the movie goes silent. You could hear a pin drop. Leather seats. Did I say that correctly? No. Leather seats.

Slappy. Nothing worse than a leather seat and a fart. What are you wearing on your bottom half? Oh, that's a good question. I think I had jeans on. Oh, okay. Right. Some protection from the leather seat.

And so everybody's hearing this. Yeah, absolutely. My boyfriend was mortified. Oh, God. What kind of fart was it? It was a... Or like a... Or like a...

Yeah, like a tight one. Oh, yes. Like a trumpet. Like a trumpet. Yeah. Hence why I chose that a... Yeah, like that was a title. Oh, yes. Like a title. Like a trumpet. Like a trumpet. Yeah. Hence why I chose that timing. Yeah, of course. You're trying to drop into harmony with the current trumpet.

Just out by a beat. Yeah. Did anyone sort of turn and go, eh? Who's that? Well, I mean, it was painfully obvious who it was. But as my boyfriend said, like, if that was anyone else, he would have laughed. But no one laughed. It was silent. Oh, no. It's worse boyfriend said, if that was anyone else, he would have laughed. But no one laughed. It was silent.

Oh no, it's worse. I feel like when you're in a public environment and you fart, you have to acknowledge it. Well, I was tears in my eyes laughing. So I think everyone, I mean everyone already knew. Was it smelling? Nah. Okay, that's good. Just air.

Yeah, just a bit of air. Just a bit of ear. Okay. Wow. You'd rather hear it than smell it. That's my rule. I'd rather hear it. But then if there was no sound, I could have pretended it wasn't me.

Yeah, you'd be like, for God's sake, who's done that? Yeah. You know what's worse? Concert farts. In the mosh. They are the worst. I know. Why?

Well, because people are so crowded. Yeah, there's no escape. You can't get away. There's no escape. But you also can get away with it. Yes. It's just like, here I go. Because there's so many people here.

How are they going to put it to me? Well, good luck with having a boyfriend. So, apparently, in the lead up to Christmas, So apparently in the lead up to Christmas some research has been conducted about what people will be drinking on Christmas Day Now as a family we start with

maybe a mimosa or bubbles at breakfast We do French toast Isn't that strange? Is that like a Christmas tradition? Yeah, in our family we have French toast for brunch Yum! And then have a late Christmas lunch. We, like, never at Christmas, breakfast was always just breakfast. Yeah. Breakfast was always just the same breakfast you have any day.

But it shouldn't be, right? No, it's a special day. I remember when I spent Christmas with Sade's family, and then there was a thing her grandma used to make called, like, wife saver. And you mixed it the night before and when you went to church the tradition was

you put it in the oven or you put it in the oven when you first got up you turned it off and it kept cooking when you were at church you came home and it was ready for breakfast.

Right. I can't remember what it was they had cornflakes on the top it was real yum. Weird. Would she just put a tray of milk and cornflakes in the oven?

It sounds like it it No it was like It was like a quiche But a crunchy one Oh Like a crunchy A quiche with cornflakes I gotta get a recipe I'll ask Robin

I'll ask my mother-in-law For the recipe Was it nice It was it was nice It was eggy Man I like anything eggy For breakfast Yeah so it was a quiche

So with cornflakes on it But then I was like No you can't blow it on breakfast Breakfast is a nothing meal On Christmas Lunch is a nothing meal On Christmas Lunch is your big meal And then Dinner is leftover

We eat our lunch At like three though Yeah we have it after Like mid Kind of late lunch Late afternoon Late lunch Oh you have like

One o'clock But maybe you do need A good base for breakfast Because I had a couple Of bottles of Prosecco During the day last year And I was trollied Didn't you

Yeah yeah We do it from Yeah rise till shine, basically. Rise till shine. Rise till shine, baby. From dawn till dusk. A couple of mimosas there. Yeah, a couple of mimosas

with brisket and then, yeah, maybe some bubbles and stuff with dinner and maybe some cocktails. I mean, I'm not encouraging overindulging, but my family loves celebrating with a beverage.

Christmas morning wife saver is the perfect casserole for Christmas morning made with ham and cheese and topped with cornflakes. Just wake up, bake it. perfect casserole for Christmas morning made with ham and cheese and topped with cornflakes. Just wake up, bake it. Ham and cheese.

Bread, ham, cheese, eggs, la-di-da-di-da, Worcestershire sauce. How sexist is the name wife saver? So save your wife

some time. Yeah. Well, she'll save herself some time by doing it. Yeah. She can have the morning off but it means doing her work the night before.

Anyway, so according to the survey, 37% of, this was the morning off, but it means doing her work the night before. Anyway, so according to the survey, 37% of, this was done in Britain, but 30% of people surveyed are going to be having a completely sober Christmas in 2022. Some families shouldn't drink together. I'm for this. Some families are terrible drinkers when they get together.

Right, yeah. If they're like fiery, but like repressing it all, and then a couple of drinks, loose lips, start to sink ships, you know. Yeah. Some families, I think that's a great idea. So they lips, start to sink ships, you know. Some families, I think that's a great idea. So they said,

so 37% of people are having a sober Christmas and now, 23% of people surveyed under the age of 40 say that they're teetotal anyway. Oh wow,

okay. And 26% of Gen Z and millennials are now saying that they don't even dabble with the stuff. That's interesting. It's just different.

It's different from when I was a young wee lass. Yeah, it'd be interesting to see some New Zealand stats on that. Yeah. If it would be similar. I don't think ours would be that high. Christmas is way more about eating than it is about drinking in our family. Like you have a couple of cheap Aquilas at lunchtime or a Spumante, Astoricadona.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have a couple of those at lunchtime, but it's never been more about drinking than it has been about eating. It's about eating so much you can't. You know when you eat so much you can't get boozed? Yeah. It's that sort of eating.

Yeah, well, that's the thing is I've never been drunk on Christmas Day, but I've been drinking since the morning but it's because there's just constantly food in my belly. Anyway, if you're having a sober Christmas,

I mean, there's so many like mocktails you can do now and so many like alternatives. What do I see the South Island's

first alcohol-free bottle store open? Yeah. Liquor store. What do they sell? Schweppes. That's just the dairy, isn't it?

Have they just got dairies in the South Island? Oh, wow. You guys are going to love their lollies. Oh. Who did you tell me you were going to? Yeah, that was my tum-tums. That was my tum-tum-tums. Hey, guys, I reckon that was the most fun I've ever had on a show.

Oh, not for me. Oh, okay. Nowhere even close. Nowhereughan. Nowhere even close. Nowhere even close. You haven't been here long, have you? No, I haven't. No. Well, if you were listening and you had fun,

why don't you give us a little review and a rating?