ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 13th March 2023

Episode Date: March 13, 2023

Berlin Public Pools  Silly Little Poll!  Top 6?  Celeb Spotting  What did you see on someone else's phone?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!  Hayley at the Kumeu Show!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, drive through and get a cup of barista made McCafe coffee on the go. Hello. Now today, on the podcast intro, we will be doing something that we missed during the show. I'm not blaming Vaughan for this. I'm absolutely not to blame. I'm kind not blaming Vaughn for this. I'm absolutely not to blame.

I'm kind of blaming Vaughn for this. I'm absolutely the last to be blamed. Vaughn was ready to go. I was ready to go. I was locked and moated. He was mouth ajar, ready to do it. The top six. And then it went straight into an ad break.

It went straight into an ad break. What up in there, fuckface? Don't blame me. Fuck face. I wasn't being so gorgeous. Fuck face. It's such a

teenage thing. It's a great. I'm not going to someone's to blame but it's not me. Right. Now we were meant to go

into the top. That's typical of your generation. X. What? Blame. Gen X. Okay it's producer Jared's fault but I wasn't going to say it.

Why is it producer Jared's fault? Because he didn't, he put some in. But he's wearing it. He didn't put it in. He just said blame it. He didn't put it in. He didn't put it in. Can we each individually call you a fuck face, Jared?

Producer Jared, are you willing to own the mistake? I put my hand up. That was my bad. Sorry, guys. Let's all take a moment. I'm already angry with Jared. Jared, you're a fuckface. He orchestrated a D&D game on Saturday night.

I know, instead of hanging out with us at a cool concert. Well, he killed my best robot friend. Oh, my God, you fucking nerd. You fuckface. We literally said to Jared, come to My Chemical Romance with us. And Jared's like, I can't. I'm a dungeon master yeah

and he fucking killed my best robot friend hey there's a lot of fucks around here okay let's pull it back and spread some shit I'm emotional big night

because producer Jared forgot to do the intro I forgot to do my job so what we're gonna do now is I'm gonna I'm gonna hot mix the intro

for the top six and then you're gonna do it now okay because we missed it during that well I'm gonna you're gonna to do now is I'm going to hot mix the intro for the top six, and then you're going to do it now. Okay. Because we missed it during that. Well, I'm going to... You're going to spin that shit, DJ. Yeah, I'm going to spin it. Okay, I'm ready.

Spin it. From the self-driving ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello. Oh, it wasn't a hot mix. That was not a good mix at all. Oh, I didn't mind it. Bit of a pause for dramatic effect. Bit of a pause there.

Bit of a pause. A US judge has deemed that ripping the finger is a God-given right. And you can just have that. Why was this in court? Because someone had ripped the fingers and they were offended? Yeah, yeah, and somebody else was offended, and I'd love to tell you more, but currently you can read my screen. It says no internet.

It's just, I've got internet. It says no internet. It's just... I've got internet. Well, they've cut me off. Which is fair enough. This is how you find out you're fired. Yeah. Oh, wow. Worst things have happened.

Yeah, he said it's a God-given right to rip the bird. So I think somebody was like, well, they pulled the fingers and somebody else was like... It's just a finger. Yeah, it's just a finger stopping self-hinder. You poose. That's a finger yeah it's just a finger stopping self-hinder your poose that's a finger that's actually worse than that

that's a finger if you point and waggle your finger at somebody it's condescending why don't you point your finger at me do that so I've got the top six other things that are

God-given rights yeah I don't have the internet now either am I fired as well you're fired too I've got it it's back I'm gonna go

www.internet.com so the judge said it's a bewildering injustice that a Montreal man was arrested and prosecuted for flipping off his neighbour. So this was in Montreal. So he gave his neighbour the finger and then was charged by the police. By the po-pos.

Yeah. For what? Offensive behaviour or something? Offensive, yeah, yeah. Well, the top six other things that are a God-given right That will not be pried Okay From my hands as long as I remain a human

In a free country Number six on the list Are cupping a fart and issuing it And ushering it towards your face a little bit So you can get a pre-public sniff To see if you need to take any further action Cupping it? That is disgusting

You fart into your own hand. No, not into the hand, but you fart and then you wave it up. Oh, yeah, right, right, right. Just to get a little... Are we good? No, I'm all good with that one. I think that's going to dissipate

before it gets anywhere. Yeah, okay. You know, those sorts of ones. Or do I need to leave now so that people think it was somebody else? Number five on the list of the top six things that are a God-given right.

I'm going, whee! And throwing the supermarket trolley at the stack of supermarket trolley from the other side of the car park because you tried your best. Yeah, love that. You took a shot.

Do you know I always tidy them when I go to the supermarket? You know if they're in a ramshackle state and they haven't quite gone to the end. I'll sort them out. I'll do that if somebody's jammed a full trolley in behind a half trolley and it's caused that jam.

Man, that's absolutely monstrous to do that. But yeah, that's monstrous behaviour. Number four on the list of the top six things that are a God-given right. Tonguing, fingering, and then squashing the last bit of the yoghurt out of the pot or of yoghurt because you were too lazy to get a spoon. Yeah. Yeah. You just got to squish the bottom up, eh?

Yeah. Nature's spatula, isn't it? The old fingeroo. And then the last bit, you squash it. Yeah. And get it all in there. Number three. It. Quite wasteful. What?

Doing individual puddles just saying. Oh you get a big puddle do you? You get a big puddle and use a bowl. Okay. Hey are they still making petite miam?

You know that French That was a skinnier little puddle wasn't it? Yeah a little skinny puddle. No fruit bits. Again I'd love to Google that for you but the company has deemed

my use of the internet unneeded. Number three on the list are the top six things that are a God-given right. Leaving six squares of toilet paper on the roll and not replacing the roll because there's some left and those are the rules. You're a bastard. Yeah. Someone else's job. Yeah. You're a bastard.

I was a bastard. Number two on the list are the top six things that are a God-given right. Licking food that you spilled on your t-shirt off your t-shirt because it's your food and your t-shirt. Sometimes I suck it off. Yeah, I'd give it more of a suck then because you're going to smear it if you do a tongue. I lick and I suck. Yeah.

You can get it off the t-shirt. Your t-shirt your food. It's oily though. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Sometimes that dry cotton on the tongue's a little bit. Yeah, gets you, eh? Bit of cold water surf and a bit of meat. Yeah. Bit of meat juice. And number one on the list of the top six things that are a God-given right, giving your partner's butt a good squeeze or a whack or a slap

and telling them you want a slice of that cake. Yeah. Unless it's in the supermarket and you've mistaken your partner for somebody else. Double check. Yeah. Always double check. They make many pants the same. They do.

Yeah. All women wear the same pants. Very popular. It's either exercise pants or jeans. Or jeans. You gots to double check. And women tend to, but not all of them, have a longer hair than a man. Yes.

And so that can often lead to confusion between these women. Yes. You can't differentiate your ponytails. No. So just you are right. They must be your partner to do that. Otherwise, that's not a God-given right. And that's today's top six.

And the podcast intro. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. People need to know the working conditions in this studio. We've had air con broken all since Thursday last week. And I'm hormonal. And a little

dusty. You're still dusty from the weekend? I just can't be sitting in this hot room. I can't do it. We've got to go outside. Would you like us to employ someone that fans you the whole day? I don't want to pull a Cleopatra but I will. I need grapes and I need a fan.

And a series of lovers to come into this room and just make me feel better. You're taking this Cleopatra thing very seriously. I am. Mark Anthony turns up, but it's not. It's Mark Anthony that used to be married to Jennifer Lopez, Mark Anthony. Oh!

Yeah. Latina recording artist Mark Anthony. Wow. Not, you know, famous Cleopatra lover Mark Anthony that used to be married to Jennifer Lopez, Mark Anthony. Oh. Yeah. Latina recording artist, Mark Anthony. Wow. You know, famous Cleopatra lover, Mark Anthony. He says, hola, senora, and he sings me a little song. Yeah, it just gets hotter and hotter, doesn't it? He just pours, like, gets a hot garden hose on me. Okay, I'll take Mark Anthony.

All right, well, maybe there's a, I probably can't get an intern to do that. Mm, problems. Not anymore. Well, maybe there's a... I probably can't get an intern to do that. Problems. Not anymore. Jesus, not anymore. Yeah, you could have got one five years ago, but not now. Okay. I guess we'll just be hot all day. Coming up on the show, the top six.

Yeah, a US judge has declared that ripping the finger is a God-given right. I love flipping the bird. Flipping the bird. It's fantastic. So powerful. No one gets hurt when you flip the bird, do they? Oh, no. You were born with this finger.

Two fingers? Which one do you prefer? I do the... Do you do the middle? No, I do the middle, I think. Middle. That's a very old Englishman. Two.

Or my mum would do Do two fingers Would she? Yeah Up yours And she'd probably go Just to take a bit of the heat out of it Yeah right Make it sillier

Yeah Make a noise But one Yeah one finger's better We were ripping a lot of two fingers On Saturday Other two though Rock and roll

On the horns Mind Chemical Romance There was a lot of There were a lot of rock horns at Mind Chemical Romance. Perhaps more middle fingers at Snoop Dogg. Yeah. More of a middle finger crowd. What was everyone doing with their hands at the Backstreet Boys?

One on the chest and one out. One out, yeah. That was so wild. That's NSYNC. No. Backstreet's back. I thought you were doing ba-ba-ba. Oh, no, not marionette puppets.

The ones where they would pretend to be like zombies or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a busy weekend. I didn't even know the Backstreet Boys were here.

Yeah, there was literally on the same night Snoop Dogg, My Chemical Romance and Backstreet Boys. Yeah, that's a big... What a wild... Something for everybody, isn't it? Yeah.

Go on, mention that flight back out of Auckland. Oh yeah, the Kauru Club would have been popping off. Oh my god, it would have been. The bar would have been dry. A real interesting place to just sit and see what they're all talking about. Alright, well the top six coming up on the show soon, but next it's a big

day, it's Oscars day. Yeah, it is. Today is America's Yesterday. Yeah. It's almost Sunday night, yeah. Yeah, exactly. And it's Oscars day. We're going to dive into the swag bags. Does that mean it's been a year since the slap?

Yeah. How will it be addressed? We don't know. Who's hosting this year? Jimmy Kimmel? Yeah, because he came out and said if anybody chose to attack. But Chris Rock wasn't. Oh, no, was Chris Rock hosting last year?

Yeah. Or was he just guesting? He was just introduced in that specific part. He was just presenting one. Yeah. Right. It's Jimmy Kimmel this year. I'm sure a lot of people are going to address it,

but I want to talk about the $200,000 swag bags. This is what millionaire, multi-millionaire celebrities get just for turning up. Just for turning up. It's like, you know, when you go to a party in the 90s and you get a little gift bag. Yeah. A little goodie bag to take home.

This is their equivalent. All right, we'll find out what's in the bags next. Every year, where it's the Oscars, they actually do it at the Grammys and everything. The Emmys and stuff.

But I think the Oscars ones are the ones that are like the most. Yeah. So this gift bag is about just over $200,000 New Zealand in worth. Wow. And every celebrity gets one. Every celebrity gets one. But I don't know that

I don't think they're like sitting on the seat you know, like when they're there. You probably get it when you go home. I think when you go home or like. Get an email with a link to click. Yeah, link to click. Register your email. Probably not a good look to have a big celebrity just holding a little tote bag, is it?

It wouldn't be little. There's so much in it. So I didn't realise there's all this food and stuff. Like there's lots of food. Anything from popcorn to... No, don't eat it. To like a Japanese milk bread? So I just Googled...

Okay, Japanese milk bread I'd like to try. We had some manuka honey in last year's goodie bag. Some New Zealand manuka honey. Manuka honey. Yeah. What brand? Well, it looks like Convita. Classic Convita.

Yeah, it was a UMF 10 plus manuka honey. Nothing wrong with a bloody off-brand clover. You know what I mean? I don't mind a mixed clover. A little pan, a little pan, a mixed clover. A little mixed. Why are you? Are you a honey snob?

He's got his own honey. He's got his bees. Why don't they die? I had a colony collapse. You don't want to talk about it? I don't want to talk about it. I lost thousands of bees. Why, then they just left, actually.

Oh, wow. And then they sw left, actually. Oh, wow. And then they swarmed. Something happened to the queen. Well, you woke up one day and they were all gone. They were gone. My clue was that I saw a wasp going in there. Now, that wouldn't happen. Oh, right.

The queen was so chill. She was such a chill queen, our queen. Yeah. We had no choice but to stand. We had to stand. Yeah. And I said, slay. Yeah. And she said slay Yeah

And she said Indeed I will I am the queen But she was such a chilled queen You didn't even need the smoke And all the protective gear To take the honey things out Oh okay

Because she was breeding Hard workers But they weren't You know they were lovers Not fighters Oh okay But that also left them open To be raided by other

More aggressive bees Oh no More aggressive bees Wait so are you getting new ones? Yeah, this spring I think we'll get some more bees. Do you have to wait till spring? Well, yeah, yeah, because they can't die. Right.

So all your chickens are dead. All your bees are dead. Your chickens are dead. The bees left and or died. It's not going well, is it? No. I wouldn't put my animal on the farm. It's a slaughterhouse out there.

In the swag bag this year, they've got a few things. A free facial rejuvenation procedure from a New York City-based plastic surgeon. Okay. They have a shaman reading. That's pretty cool. Gwyneth Paltrow would do that. Complementary project management from a, like, Maison construction, like a house, if you want to do some house renos. Oh, okay.

Oh, that could be handy. That's a pretty good one. And a PETA, as in the Protection of Ethical Treatment and people. Stop monkey imports to labs travel pillow. Okay. A getaway to an Italian island.

Jeepers. creepers. Lots of food. Wine, tequila. Fertility supplements. Beauty and wellness products. From a bath ritual set to a silk pillowcase to edible massage oil. Okay. It just feels like a lot of crap to me.

I mean, like expensive nice stuff, but these guys don't need it. They don't need any of that. Or they get a gifting suite at the Luxe Sunset Boulevard Hotel. So you get a hotel stay. That's a night at a hotel. That's nice. Yeah, that's nice.

I'd love to see the stats though. Which celebrities take up the free nights? Oh my God, listen to this. Their stars will also get a brand new pair of sneakers created by a 14-year-old girl from Brooklyn.

How much money of that is she getting? It's probably a lot. Yeah. She started selling shoes online as a kid. There's like all this stuff. But yeah, apparently lots of celebrities don't take it. Well, they don't need to, do they? They're worth like

tens of millions and hundreds of millions of dollars. Yeah, I know. And they're just like, I don't need this. I don't need to, do they? They're worth like tens of millions and hundreds of millions of dollars. Yeah, I know. And they're just like, I don't need this. I don't need a silk pillow. Like Angelina Jolie's probably got her own pillowcases sorted. I don't think she needs a silk pillowcase set. But then imagine if you just like, oh, actually, I didn't bring a pillow for the plane home.

I'll use the monkey pillow. What was it, a monkey pillow? Peter, stop importing monkeys from. Yeah. Stop importing monkeys pillow. And you just pop it on and you're like, oh, good pillow. And then you get in touch with Peter and you're like, where'd you get the pillows?

Because I want to get one without, you know, a monkey being tortured. Do you think they'd be embroidered? Yeah, embroidered on it. So then you contact them. You know? Yeah, I don't know. It's like at the QMU show at the weekend for the second year in a row.

There's these little ceramic Land Rovers you can win in one of the carnival sideshows where you've got to control this bumper and knock the thing out off the spinning table. And I said to the lady, I was like, can I just buy that off you? And she said, no, it's not for sale. It's for winning.

I said, yeah, I know, but tell me how much you want for it and I'll buy it off you. And she said, no, it's not for sale. I said, well, can you tell me where you got it from? And she said, no, it's not for sale. It's for winning. I said, yeah, I know, but tell me how much you want for it and I'll buy it off you. And she said, no, it's not for sale. I said, well, can you tell me where you got it from? And she said, no. Because she wanted me to just pump this machine full of coins for the second year in a row. But I wasn't following that trick again because I've never seen anybody win off the arm on the mirror top.

God, she wasn't giving in, was she? No, she was a hard-on woman. You pulled a name your price. I said, yeah, well, I said, what do you want for it? Are they online? Have you looked? Yeah, well, I've done all the keyword searching. And you can't find it.

Yeah, because it's like this cute sort of ceramic Land Rover, and it's almost the same, exactly the same as mine. Right. So I thought that would be nice. Well, she probably made it herself. No, she didn't make it herself. No, no, no. The best part is, the worst part is,

I bet she paid less than $10 for it too. No, she didn't make it herself. No, no, no. The best part is, the worst part is, I bet she paid less than $10 for it too. Yeah, definitely. Crafty Carney, hey? Crafty Carney. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. A French woman was in Berlin and she went to go swimming in the local municipal pool, you know?

Yeah. Do some lanes, do some lengths. Maybe her kid was going to Splash around in the other one And she went to go She went to get into the pool Sun's top Oh yeah No top on

She was Well that's how I do it Yes exactly the point That's how I do it Exactly the point My tiny little nips Out for the whole world to see That's the sound they make

I've told you Please don't make that noise They are If they didn't make a noise, they would be. You all right in there, naps? That's what it's called when you just say it. That's it trying to get hard. Yeah.

Thank you. Well, she wanted to swim like the men. No top one. No top one. No top required. Right. And she was asked to leave, and she lodged a complaint with the ombudsman. Oh, the ombudsman.

Ombudsman at the Senate Department for Justice, Diversity, and Anti-Discrimination. Right. And as a result, you can now swim topless in Berlin's public pools. Oh, wow. All because this woman complained. I love this. Wouldn't they get in the way?

I'm all for the idea of it, but more the comfort factor. If you were doing lanes, you'd certainly want some support, wouldn't you? Especially for water pulling. If you're doing a freestyle, you might get caught under the armpit or something. But was she just doing the whole sunbathe poolside, have a dip, that kind of thing? I think she just wanted to be in the water and around as men were, tops off, nipples out. I thought all of Europe, even Germany, was big on nude parks.

I thought so too. But maybe just not public pools. But maybe it's not public pools that hadn't been. But, yeah, they've changed it now, so it's an anti-discrimination that you don't have to wear a top in the pool if you don't want to. It is nice being nude in the water, isn't it? Nude in an ocean or nude in a pool. Yeah.

It's weird, though. You're just sort of like loose and free. Isn't it when you're all just, it's weird. Yeah, it is weird. Yeah. But I mean, I get it, but if I was doing sports laps, like I was actually trying to exercise. You wouldn't be strapped in. You wouldn't want to was actually trying to exercise. You want to be strapped in. No, I don't want to strap him in. You want to be strapped in.

Yeah. It's because you backstroke. They'll be bloody bopping up on the surface. Let's get small breasts with pointy nipples that act like a keel. Like a double rudder. Yeah, you're like, you're going, and then you just one small turn,

and you're carving through the water. You could even hydroplane up on the nips. Well, that would be the same if you were a man and you were even freestyle. Yeah. If you put down the keel. Turn to the left. If it turned to the left, you might accidentally turn to the right. Yeah.

Or the left. Is it the opposite way, isn't it? I don't know. It's like backing a trailer. I know how to back a trailer. But you've got to go left if you want to go to the right. It's sort of confusing. You're naked backing a trailer and you did that thing where you look over your shoulder

and then you come back. You twist, you could sit on a ball. That would really ruin the entire experience. See, that's what I mean. Sometimes I'm all for freedom. Yeah. Sometimes you've got to strap things down, be it a ball or a boob. Up against, you know, tightly pack it.

In a tube. But anyway. I don't know about that. Because I took my top off recently in the sun and I'm really paying the price. You're still peeling? Yeah, my bras are like full of dust at the end of the day. Correct. They're like, shake them out.

Yeah. I saw some breasts at the weekend that weren't my wife's. Okay. I never go on Snapchat. But we were driving back from Raglan and my phone was like... Oh, we're going to talk about this soon, will we? This is why you should be in the planning meetings with the rest of us. Oh, we're going to talk about this later, are we?

We're going to talk about this later. I'll tell you what happened soon then. You've had an intro. Oh, it's literally... You've had a taste. It's soon. It's literally break after next. Oh my God, it's so soon.

Yeah. 15, 20 minutes. Give us a tease. Give us a hot little tease. Well, it's literally break after next. Oh my God, it's so soon. Yeah. 15, 20 minutes. Give us a tease. Give us a hot tease. Well, I did. I was driving and I never used Snapchat.

My watch was like, you've got a Snap alert. I was like, who's turned that even on? Yeah. I haven't had notifications on

Snapchat for ages. No. I just don't use it. And it was just and I looked and I was like, I don't know that name. Stay tuned.

Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Fletchford and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. What kind of watch face do you prefer? That's today's Silly little pole. Silly little pole. What kind of watch face do you prefer? Is today silly little pole? Digital. Digital or? Analog. I guess because I said if you've got a smart watch,

but this could be even just looking at a clock, do you prefer to look at a digital or an analog? Yeah, I've got a smart watch, but it's got a digital analog. Yeah, I don't like. Yeah, I don't. But you have the digital time, or is that the date that I saw? That's the date. Oh, right.

13th. Yeah, mine's just the numbers. It's super quick. And I don't really use my watch for time. I use it more for exercise. Yeah, right. What do you use for time? Your phone.

Just my female instance. Just circadian rhythm. Yeah. My ovaries. Ovaries tell the time, do they? Well, they tell the time of the month. Ovaries, what's the time? The time is 12 a.m.

The time is grumpy o'clock. How dare you ask me? Why? Why do you always ask me the time? You're also a very good compass, too. You can spin her around, and she'll just know north every time. I can feel it. She's also a very good compass too. You can spin her around and she'll just know north every time. I can feel it. She's got a magnetic sense.

Yeah. Like a humpback whale. I'm just like a, that's why you call me old humpy Hayley. I wouldn't have said that. That's north. Yeah. No, I just, I use my phone mostly. When I voted on this, it was perfectly 50-50.

Same. That surprised me. But just. It's changed. Just sneaking ahead. 52% of people prefer an analog clock. Get out of here. 48% digital.

Really? How about that? I think it looks, I don't know, I just like the digital. It looks prettier. I think if I didn't have a smart watch for communication fitness purposes, I'd just have a smart watch for communication fitness purposes, I'd just have a normal analogue. I wouldn't wear a watch, but if I did, it would be a tick, tick, tick. Oh, a tick, tick, tick.

A preferred brand? I don't know. I don't think I've ever owned a proper watch. Yeah, a tag. You've got big tag-heuer energy. Do I? Some people get into collecting watches. They're so expensive.

So expensive. Oh, so expensive. So expensive. Oh, my God. So expensive. I bought Aaron a watch last year, I think, as a gift. And I was like, what's a reasonable amount to spend on a watch? And I was talking to a watch enthusiast, and they were like, a few grand. And I was like, grand?

Come again? This is the most, how much is an Apple watch? 600, 700 bucks? You'd happily buy two and a half Bing hoodies and not scoff at... That's a quality good. Yes. Such quality.

That's a quality hoodie. Such quality. You won't find a finer hoodie on the market. Some feedback. Michaela said, I'm 30 and still can't tell the analogue time. Yeah, a lot of people can't. Analogue is more casual, says Emma.

Are you three minutes late or are you four minutes late? Who knows? Whereas digital is exact and accurate. You're exactly four minutes late. So you're using that

as an excuse for your incompetence. Yeah. And your tardiness. We've got the seconds even. Yeah. Going to the, you can work out

to the seconds. Yeah. But then the analog's also good for a round up or a round down. Five-ish. Yeah. Five-ish. Ten, five-ish.

Ten to five, but it's like... Thirteen to five. Yeah. Nicola said, I prefer analog and it makes me feel smart. Yeah, it does. You've got to take those wins. Yeah. You've got to take those wins.

A slight superiority with an analog reader. Yeah. On a smartwatch, though, I know you've got the analog. It just doesn't look that flash. You know what I mean? It's right. I'm a man of the people. I'm a common guy.

Yeah, it's a messy image. It's not a messy image. Well, my watch just told me I'm in a loud environment. Would you two please keep it down? I'm sorry. You could be causing irreversible damage to my ears. I'll tell you what, at My Chemical Romance, it's buzzing like every five minutes.

Yeah, I got that warning on my watch, too. It's so loud. Amanda said, are you kidding me? Who knows how to read an analogue watch face anymore? Yeah. Analogue is so chic, but also do Gen Zs actually know how to read an analogue? Says Susie. Probably not.

Yeah. Chanelette Pyjamas just gave me the, oh, kind of look. That took a while. Yeah. I don't have time to figure out that shit. Just tell me, says Tammy. She voted for of. Look. That'd take a while. Yeah. I don't have time to figure out that shit. Just tell me, says Tammy. She voted for digital. Yeah.

And Sally said, digital on Apple Watch because I can also include the date. With analog, it's too small. Yeah, that's what I don't. I mean, you've got a lot of info on that watch face. I love a lot of info on my watch face. I like a clean watch face. Yeah. I know in 46 minutes, the sun's coming up.

Why do you need to know that? I know. You see it behind. You're literally looking out a giant window. Currently 0% chance of rain. It's 16 with a high of 23 today. Okay, fair call. I don't have that much info. I've stood for two hours of the day. Good on you.

Not really. I mean, that's I've been awake for two hours and had to walk to my car, so I've not done anything more than stand. So there you go. It's a little pop. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM.

So at the weekend, driving back, went to Raglan for the weekend. Love a little trip down to Raglan to see the in-laws. And on the drive back, my watch was like, like vibrated, you got a notification. I looked down, it was a Snapchat notification. I was like, that's weird, I haven't had Snapchat notifications on for ages. I just don't use Snapchat. I don't think I've got the app anymore.

And then I looked and I saw the name and it was a name I did not recognise, so I was like, this will be some body spam. Some body spam. And then kept going. Body spam. Got a, again, I I looked It was the same one Again

Same one Someone wants your attention Again Same one This is when you're driving Yeah Can you open it on your watch? No

Oh I don't know I just I just kept driving Yeah right That can be dealt with At a later time So then when I got home I got out

The old Phone And I was like Snapchat Because the notification Had disappeared I was like Snapchat because the notification had disappeared it's like where the hell is Snapchat

found it in the second page in an old folder yeah so then it turned out that my kids had been using Snapchat for the filters

oh okay and turned on notifications somehow I don't think it had been on my phone to be one of those ones where you weren't using so it disappears

and you've got to click the download thing and they'd download it so they were using the filters to take photos on. Now, there was a message in there and I was like, I don't recognise that name. Yeah. And I opened the first one and it was a picture of some boobies. Boobies! It was boobies.

It was free boobs. Like, a kind of a boring picture or like a seductive... It was just... You know, it wasn't just like boobs. Yeah, it wasn't like boobs. There was no great effort going into it. It was just boobs. No great effort. No great effort. It was just boobs. You know, was it just like boobs? Yeah, it wasn't like boobs. There was no great effort going into it. Oh, no great effort. No great effort.

It was just boobs. Yeah, right. Now, was this body spam? So I thought it was body... It must be body spam. And then the next message was like just text and it was like,

oh my God, don't open that. Well, it's too late. I've already opened it. Yeah. Because wouldn't that be the first thing that comes up would be the picture when you click it?

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. You click into it Because it's the oldest message It goes straight into a picture Yeah And it was the boobs

And then the next I went back to the thing And the next message That had been sent Was like Oh my god don't open that And the next one was like I'm so sorry

You weren't meant to get that Oh no And it was just like The series of messages Being this person Was like I was trying to send it To somebody with a very

Like similar username Oh But I just typed in the first few letters and then sent it because yours popped up in the search. Again, I'm so sorry. Please don't open that. Oh, it's too late. It had already been opened but if I hadn't opened it at that stage, the curiosity would

have got the better of this cat. I would have opened it too. I would have opened it too. For a look. And so I didn't even reply. I just let it be. They can see that I For a look. Yeah. And so I didn't even reply. I just let it be. Yeah. They can see that I've opened it? Yes. Yes.

Okay. I didn't know that. And now you've also said they didn't put a lot of effort in. Yeah. To the photo. So not only did you look at boobs, but you were like, ugh. I just didn't reply. I just turned it back and turned off notifications on Snapchat and went back to living.

Right. What did you tell Sade? I just said, see? Nah. Okay. I don't know if I did because I was outside. Oh, back to living. Right. What did you tell Sade? I just said... Nah. Okay. I don't know if I did because I was outside. Oh, wait, no, wait, wait, you didn't tell her? So, wait, you've kept...

So, someone sent you a picture of their boobies. You've had a good geezer. I've never had a good geezer. I was just like, whoa. But then I just thought it was a bot. Body spam. Body spam. Well, do they look like robot boobs or do they look like human boobs?

No, they were human boobs, but the bots have to get their boobs from somewhere, don't they? Yeah, they get them from... Naughty sites. Naughty sites, I guess. Do they? Is that where they get them from? I don't know. Okay. Or from their makers.

Well, no, but see, now you haven't told your wife that you've got a picture of boobs. You're sitting on a secret. It sounds dodgy now that you've left it two days. I would have said, oh, my God, Aaron, someone's just sent me a picture of their schlong. Yeah. Just so you know. It's probably body spam. I would have said, oh my God, Aaron, someone's just sent me a picture of their schlong. Yeah. Just so you know.

It's probably body spam. I was outside with the chores. I would have run in and said boobs, boobs. No, you can't tell her today. You can't tell her ever now. No, no, because now she's going to go, why didn't you tell me when this happened? Because I was outside and you were so busy. Oh my God, you left it too long.

Now it sounds like you knew this person. You have to take this to your grave. I didn't know this person. You have to take this to your grave. didn't know this person You have to take this To your grave Well to the grave I take it It's just between you And everyone listening now

And whoever that person was That's the thing They could have been Anywhere in the world right Yeah Anywhere in the world Or they could be From like Masterton

Which No It's the previous criteria For anywhere in the world Yeah it does Well if you're in Marsden and you sent me Your boobs over the weekend Saturday afternoon

Saturday afternoon Like mid afternoon Well yeah we were driving back It would have been probably two Maybe that's why Because of how hot it was No no no When you take a boob pic it's got to be cold.

Up. Up. Tight. Nips. Nips representing. Ooh. Okay. Got to be cold.

It's a good how-to. Is that a tip from a pro? Tip from a pro. Tip from a pro. Trust me. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. There is a woman who is, well, people should have some opinions

of this kind of behaviour. She owns a miniature dachshund. Saucy dog, right? A saucy dog, yeah. Saucy dog. Schnitzelwohn Krum with a very low tum. I had friends that had those growing up and they were so yappy.

They've got yappy energy. They're very yappy. Yeah. Every time someone... You've got to They're very yappy. Yeah. Every time someone... You've got to have such a sore back. Yeah. If I was carrying my guts all day. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Your guts is right and it's just pulling it down. You're going to have back problems later in life. Yeah, the spine. We've made them too long, haven't we? God, we're absolute rubbish. We're greedy. They're going to be a metre long soon. And still have the same little...

Sleeping in one of those one metre long pizza boxes. Yes! If we're going to make a one metre long sausage dog, we've got to give it at least two extra sets of legs or some wheels in the middle. Like a centipede. Yeah, like a trolley. A trolley. A support trolley. I'm for it actually.

It's a great idea. Across the core. Squeaky wheels. Anyway, this dachshund is called Fifi. Calm with this woman. Fifi Little Darling is its Instagram, if you want to go and check out Fifi Little Darling. And on Fifi Little Darling's Instagram, there was a video that the owner obviously posted.

I don't think Fifi posted herself. My cat's got an Instagram. Now, I'll let you in a little behind the scenes. I do all of it. Wait, but what do you get out of it? Yeah, I post. Gotcha. What do you get out of it?

Is your cat not capable? Nah, can't do it. I have been thinking for some time. Lacks of thumbs to hit post. Well, I won't let my animals have social media accounts. They're all too young. Oh, are they? They're the mind. It's bad for the developing mind.

So this Fifi experienced a very luxury experience when their owner booked them a business class seat on a flight, on a Turkish Airlines flight from Hong Kong to Istanbul. Now, that's an 11-hour flight. This is ridiculous. Now, what does that cost? I saw this.

Is this the dog? There was the videos of it lying down in a business bed. In a full reclined bed, it's in there. It's got its own seat. Yeah. It's its own seat. It's a sausage dog. There would be enough room to put it like

in the footwell or something. Put it in a cage and put it under the thing. Like everyone else. Like everyone else's mutts. What a wild ride that would be down there. Oh yeah. Cold. It'd be cold. Yeah, it'd be cold. So everyone would like, and then she posted it alongside the audio that's been used

before and it's like, I don't think people understand. This is not my dog. This is my daughter. Oh, right. Now, as someone with real human daughters. I wouldn't take them in business class. You'd put them underneath in the cage. And now without very well behaved children, but I wouldn't take them.

I wouldn't put them in business class unnecessarily. If you were like springing for a trip. I mean, obviously this person's got a lot of money, but if you were springing for a trip, yeah, I wouldn't put my kids in there either. They're small. The whole point is you've got more space. You get free wine and more space.

Neither of these things can a kid use, let alone a small, like famously small dog. And she would have paid thousands of dollars for that. Listen to the entitlement that comes through in this caption. I just looked up Fifi, little darling. Hong Kong to Paris via Turkey with Turkish Airlines. I don't recommend Turkish Airlines when flying into America. See my Q&A highlights for more information regarding Turkish Airlines

cancelling our reservation four times. Pros on the Hong Kong to Turkey leg. Super dog-friendly staff on board. Spacious business class seats for a dog that doesn't need business class seats. It's tiny. Dog-friendly lounge in Istanbul. Pet toilets at Istanbul airport. And I only need to put Fifi in her bag when I ate.

Cons of the Hong Kong to Paris. Unexpected fee at check-in and no dog-friendly lounges in Hong Kong. No, you can't get into the lounge. Oh, no. Oh, my can't get into the lounge. Oh, no. Oh, my God, he goes to the food court with my dash towel. I can't even take my giant toothpaste into the airport. No, exactly.

You could be smuggling a bomb inside that dash out. You could have stashed a small bomb up there. Top comments. I just flew business with Swiss and it was a nightmare for my poor dog. He had to stay in a bag for 10 hours and I was hoping for more tolerance. So you officially can keep the dog outside the bag on Turkish or was it just an exception for you? Oh, get

a grip. Hey, but we know these pet crazy owners, don't we? We do. They shell out thousands of dollars for their pets. I want to hear from some of these people. Are you pet crazy or do you know someone who would do something like this? They're just totally pet crazy and they buy their pets like their own bloody miniature cars

and get them a pedicure and I don't know. I mean, you think about the amount of money people spend on like doggy daycares every day. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you might as well just have a child. At least it can like pick you up, you know know when it's 18 Or something from town Something to work towards And wipe your bum When you get too old

Exactly This dog Put you in a home This dog's gonna die Yeah I wanna know If you are pet mad Or if you know someone

Who is just Just goes to the next level For their pet Like booking a Flight from Hong Kong To Turkey Business class Like giving a sausage dog A. Like giving a sausage dog

a gigantic, like even a sausage dog in economy, that's enough for him, isn't it? Even if you were going to do it, would you share it? It's absolute. The internet doesn't take kindly to this sort of thing. No, they don't. Some people would be like, oh my god, that's so cute

and I'd love to do that for my dog, but then other ones, there would be a set upon. This is like Aaron. So Aaron's got two slipped discs in his spine, right? But the sponginess is dry, bone on bone. Yet he'll sleep like a croissant at the bottom of a bag so that our cat, Rolly, is comfortable. And so like, because Rolly always wants to go between his legs and he'll wake up and be like, oh, my God, I had to sleep so bad.

I was like, why don't you just move him? Just kick the cat off. No cats in the bedroom. I just want him to feel happy. No animals on the bed. No animals in the bedroom. No animals on the bed. Animals sleep outside.

Animals on the bed. No, my cat sleep, Murray sleeps right next to me. Yeah, Rolly tucks in. No. He gets real. Absolutely not. But Aaron wouldn't dream of disturbing Raleigh once he's comfortable.

So that Aaron with literally a broken back will just sort of put up with it. It'd be gone. Yeah. Well, business class might be on the tame end of things for this one text message. I'm a builder and one of our clients that we do a lot of work for is crazy

about her pets. Her dogs are the bosses. There's a big one and a tiny one. We built a $100,000 swimming pool for the dog. What? For the dog? For the dog to cool off

and then swim. Because she's like, well, I don't really swim. So the only thing in this property is... Oh, so it's a proper swimming pool? Yeah, for a dog. Right, but it's just the animals.

It drinks the salt water and vomits but doesn't go in the pool. It's got its own bedroom, tiles everywhere so it cools them down and the bricks on the ground had to get re-grouted because it would trip on the bricks with the grout being 5mm lower so it had

to be a perfectly flat surface. Oh my god, I don't even give that to my own feet. No. Keep your feet, you know, keep your feet on their toes. By having someone even grout. Yeah. A pole for the dog. Yeah. Don't you just put

a sprinkler on the lawn and they'll find like 20 bucks from Wee House? And the dogs like it for a bit. And just put some shade up so the ground's not too hot for them. Do you let your pets in the pool? Yeah. Yeah. I don't really like in the pool? Yeah. Yeah. I don't really like it.

It's like cleaning it. It's a free clean, isn't it? What, for the dog? Yeah, but it dirties the pool. Yeah, I was like, it's doing the opposite to the pool. And then the retriever's hair in the filter. Like you'd go, oh.

In the house, it's my wife and children's hair that I'm pulling out of the plug hole in the sink. Yeah. In the sink and the shower and then in the filter, it's the dog. I'm dealing with hair everywhere. And it's a slap in the face for a bald man to have to be cleaning up hair wherever he goes.

Everywhere but the one place. Everywhere. Yeah. I could collect it all, maybe stick it on my head, and people would be like, he's finally lost the plot. Use some ancient weaving techniques. Yeah, to get it on there. Somebody else said, my mum would cook for us

maybe three nights a week growing up. Otherwise, it was takeaways that we had to fend for ourselves. When we left home, the dogs started getting cooked dinners every night. What?

That's a slap in the face because your parents, they can love the pet, but they're always supposed to love you more. But they're putting more effort into the nutrition of this dog. There's a cost of living crisis.

Yeah. Like those meals would have gone up. Have you seen the broccolis recently? They're literally the size of this dog. There's a cost of living crisis. Yeah. Like those meals would have gone up. Have you seen the broccolis recently? They're like literally the size of a $2 coin. I got a broccolis the other day. Broccolis? You wanted to say broccolis. You got a broccolis.

The other day it was like $5. And they're tiny. Yeah. Like for a tiny broccolis. No, I found a big one at the back that they hadn't cut in half. I was like, small win for the consumer here. Was it slightly on the saggy side? No, it was good. It wasn't flowery. I was like, small win for the consumer here. Was it slightly on the saggy side? No, it was good.

It wasn't flowery. It was good. How good's broccoli? It's a super food. But not for a dog. It's okay, but it's not for a dog. Not for $5. No.

We spent $7,000 on fencing to keep our pet goat Ryan in. Great name for a goat. Great name for a goat. Ryan! Ryan! Ryan's eating the details off the line again. I didn't realise how mad goats looked.

Because I went to the QMU show this weekend, which had lots of goats there. Lots of goats. They're wide. Their pupil's horizontal. They're wide. Ryan Goatling. They're wide.

Ryan Goatling. I get it. Like Ryan Gosling. Ryan Goatling. He still gets out, though. That's the thing. And they're escape artists. Goats areling. I get it. Like Ryan Gosling, Ryan Goatling. He still gets out though. That's the thing. And they're escape artists. Goats are clever.

Yeah, right. But were those goats on drugs? They look like it. Yeah, right. With their eyes going in each direction. They do have those pupils. Looking at a new house, hoping to do a pool specifically for my dog because it has hip dysplasia.

That's got big Pomeranian energy. Lots of dogs has hip dysplasia. That's got big Pomeranian energy. Lots of dogs have hip dysplasia. Again, humans are the worst thing that ever happened to dogs. Yeah, we breed them bad. They can't breathe and they can't walk. Yeah.

For my late dog's birthday, I don't want to talk about it. I understand as someone who's also lost a pet. And you lost a whole colony of bees. I had colony collapse. Yeah, that happened. I used to cook her a big batch of mints and carrots

for her favourite maker to a little cake shake. She thruffed it. But isn't cooked meat not good for dogs? Aren't they supposed to have a raw meat? I'm not sure. What should I do? Because it's Major Murray Fluffington's third birthday today. Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday. Should I do a mince cake? You could do it. A mince cupcake. Because you've always got mince in the fridge as well, so you probably have some there. You've got a muffin tray? Yes.

Push it in there. Just mince. Shape it. Like a tartare. Yeah. Oh, yes, posh. Well, he ate mince though. He'll eat mince.

He's only ever eaten dry biscuits. Yeah, we're strictly dry. We're strictly dry food. Maybe I, what if I watered down the biscuits and put them into a cupcake mold? Yuck. Just the image of that made me feel so yuck.

I can't believe you two only ever give your cats dry biscuits. Yeah, but you should see that. How often are they like? The quality of his coat. The quality of the coat, yeah. The quality of the coat.

That's why you've got manky coats. You've got manky, bloody furball cats. You've got manky cats. I don't have manky puss. Yeah, you've got manky puss. I don't have. They've got manky puss. You got manky cats. I don't have manky puss. You've got manky puss, man. I don't have that.

You've got manky puss. They're long. Their coats are long and healthy. There's no dregs. There's no dregs. Dreads and dags. Manky puss. There's no dreads or dags.

No, we've got beautiful, shiny cats. They're big, healthy boys. No. Big, healthy ginger boys. Both of mine are ginger. The only meat Rolly gets every now and then as a treat is a little bit of shaved ham. See, I don't feel like the preservatives in a shaved ham is good for him. No, it's not good for him, but it makes him a happy boy.

It makes him happy, yeah. Rest of the time. Our cat will drag a loaf of bread. We've started hiding the bread. He'll find it, drag it out, tear open the bag and eat like slices and slices of bread. Bread? What is wrong with your cat? He loves carbohydrates.

He loves carbohydrates. He loves carbohydrates. He ripped open porridge once. That's carbohydrates. He loves carbohydrates. He ripped open porridge once. That's right. He ate all the oats. That's why he's a manky puss. Too many carbs. He's going to be a big fat. He's going to be a big fat puss soon. Yeah, he will be.

Next on the show, there's a job that's earning $300 an hour. US, by the way. US. Well, a Florida woman has revealed that she is earning a lot of money every single day. Must be nice. Which started out as a side hustle,

has quickly become her number one earner. Is it rude cross stitches on Etsy? No, not Etsy. She in Tampa, in Florida, has taken to cleaning people's houses. Oh, great. Topless for $300 plus tips. Jeez, you wouldn't want to get the jiff on your nips.

No, abrasive on a sensitive mat. Oh, I reckon it's sting. I reckon it's sting. As someone who has been doing house renovations scantily clad. Oh, my God. The chemicals. How many times have you been like, I'm so itchy. You've got a rash.

I've got bad rashes. You've got to be covered. Well, you get a, like, you know, the wind changes. You've got a window open. The spray and wipe. Imagine you're putting exit mould and that falls on you. Oh, you could have exit mould. Oh, no.

No, I exit mould in my undies. I exit mould in my... Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Very careful about it. Oh, yeah, because you don't want it in your clothes. Yeah, because it's basically bleach. You know how you become...

It just is bleach. You become complacent, don't you? When you do it, even if you're doing it for a job. Yeah. Spray away. Yeah. So five houses in one day,

$300 an hour plus tips. She employs a security guard who waits outside in the car. So there's a little bit of a cost there. Yeah, in case like, you know, one of the customers. Yeah, and he takes a cut. Yeah. So she breaks it all down for a daily take of $1,430. A day?

A day. Do the people watch? I mean, I guess they could, but that would be weird. Well, why have you got your top off if they're not watching? Yeah, I guess they're watching. Yeah, they're just going about their day. Their day, but then they get to look over and be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right.

That's right. Vacky and the Bappies. I don't. Well, and like she says, like, men will go to strip clubs and spend, you know, hours there and probably spend as much money. Why not get your house cleaned? Yeah, why not get your house cleaned and spend that same amount of money? A bit embarrassing, though.

Like, some beautiful woman comes over to clean your house. She whips off her top and you're like, yeah, and then she's going to go clean your skid marks off the toilet. You know, get rid of your stinky greasy sheets. Yeah, do all your grime spots. Why not just do this? We're heading into, you know,

they're saying we've got to tighten the belt for spending. Tidy your own house, but promise yourself when you're finished, you're allowed to play with yourself. Oh! Tidy the house, do a good job, and then treat yourself to some. Yeah. I thought you were going to say tidy your own house, but then put it on owning fans.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that could work too. That's also good. Then you've got a tidy house. Your house is tidy. Yeah, you're making money. Yes. Then you can go and play with yourself.

That's actually the best option there because you're making money, saving money, and still getting to play with yourself. Win, win, win. The main thing you want at the end of it is to be able to play with yourself. Sometimes at the start, as a sort of a get yourself going, and then at the end as a reward. I mean, if you're tidying up anyway. Ouch.

That was God punishing me for all this filth talk. He is. The cabinet just fell and smashed me in both knees. Ryan Tarmac, he said things start falling apart. I had the cabinet fall on me the other week. Was it straight after you had talked some silly filth? We may have been talking silly filth. Oh, my God.

Well, we should really stop, Hayley, stop. You don't want any of this. You don't want something to fall on you because that's how it works. I'm upstairs. Why does he? Just I don't want any of this. You don't want something to fall on you because that's how it works. Okay. I'm upstairs. Why does he... Just let me be. Leave me be.

I wouldn't dream of it. I'm saving myself for my own marriage to myself. Yeah. The WWE. The World Wide Wrestling Entertainment What's the difference between WWF and WWE? WWF became WWE because WWF belonged to the World Wildlife Federation

Of course the pandas The pandas That's why you can still see like every now and then You'll see a WWF logo and it's a panda Going to hit another panda with a chair That's so good Nice Now I don't watch wrestling anymore.

To me, the golden age of wrestling was the turn of the millennium. I'm talking Stone Cold Steve Austin. I'm talking Undertaker. I'm talking Kane. Hulk Hogan. The Rock. No, after Hogan. Right.

After Hogan. Hogan was like 90s wrestling. Yeah. Hulk Hogan, Mario, Ric Flair, et cetera. I have to say one of my favorite memes memes or like jokey, twittery, Instagram real things is when they're like, when someone tells you wrestling's not real and it's the guy with the sock on his hand.

Oh, yeah. Who's being charmed by like a snake charm. He's like, whoa. Rats in the neck. Yeah, I wonder if the rock, now that he's like, you know, the biggest name in Hollywood ever looks back on some of the silly antics

of when he was a wrestler and it's like, what were you doing? What the hell was he doing? But then he's in the Fast and the Furious movies and I don't think, if you're ever in a Fast

and the Furious movie, you're not allowed to ever say something else is silly because they took a car to space. Ludacris did and he just had rubber gloves taped to his body. But people know,

I mean, it's just choreographed, isn't it? I mean, you tell- It's insanely athletic. mean, it's just choreographed, isn't it? I mean, you tell... It's insanely athletic. Like, it is scripted and everything. It's like a gymnastics performance.

Yeah, and bleeding and all that's jazz. Flying off things, flying through tables. People get seriously injured, and dudes do, and females do, insane damage to their bodies. But they're not fighting. Yeah. But it's, yeah, it is.

Performance of... It's a soap opera. Yeah. It's a soap opera. Well, it's a soap opera. Well, apparently in the US now they're in talks with state gambling regulators to legalise betting on them. But it's already predetermined.

Like it's literally scripted who wins over the season, right? Yes. Like every match in... So there would be Ernst & Young. Ernst & Young is apparently a company that would That deals Do they do the Oscars?

They do the Oscars They're the ones who Stuffed up bloody La La Land The accountants Oh are you sure That wasn't Pricewaterhouse? No I'm sure It was Ernst & Young

I don't know But they do That's one of their things They specialise in like Secrets Tell you who wouldn't Stuff that up Is our lovely Helen

Our accountant I don't know if she specialises in like secrets. Tell you who wouldn't stuff that up is our lovely Helen. Our accountant. I don't know if she specialises in... I'm just saying. Those accountants really cocked up there. Because when you hear of accountants

you just assume that it's all tax but it's not, is it? It's everything. It was Price Waterhouse. Oh, I beg your pardon. That buggered it up. Yeah.

Did Ernst & Young do it now? Today's... I'm just reading. I'm just... So basically the only people that know the outcome of the match would be the wrestlers themselves. And then that's on them not to, I mean, because they can't throw the match because it's scripted.

No. You know, like, you know, sports people every now and then it comes out that they threw a match or fixed the match by doing a certain thing at a certain time. For the money. Yeah. But if they're the only ones that know the outcome, they can't throw it because it won't change the outcome.

And also it's the choreography. You can't suddenly, you've got a perfectly choreographed number and then you say, no, I'm going to win. I'm going to put a table over you. Yes. So it was PricewaterhouseCoopers when their La La Land thing went down. With Moonlight. They took full responsibility.

Because, yeah, they actually know the winners. They'll know right now. Before today's Oscars. They collab and everything. Accounting for it. So if they win, if the WWE wins, you're going to be able to legally gamble on matches. And everything

about it, everything back. Even other wrestlers won't know what the deal is with the matches until they're happening. No, they can't do that. Are they live? Are they filmed live? Or are they pre-recorded? Oh, so they are live, right. Monday Night Raw, I believe, is

live. So who would know just the wrestlers? Do they practice, though? Do they practice and choreograph before a match? Oh, I don't know. But then they could do that, but it doesn't mean it's going to affect the outcome. Because who pins the other person for three?

Yeah, but someone might see them training. Right. Yeah, someone might never practice the pin. Because you imagine your first job out of film and TV school is, I don't know, gaffer tape. What's that thing you just take around? A gaffer. And you see these wrestlers training and you know who wins.

You just go down and put a cheeky student allowance payment on a win. Yeah. It doesn't make sense to do that. It doesn't make sense. But yeah, you just wouldn't practice the end. But wouldn't everything lead it? When do you know if they win? This is shocking. We haven't seen a lot of it. But wouldn't everything lead it? When do you know if they win? Wrestling is the very...

We haven't seen a lot of it. The wrestling, you know, someone could be getting a hide in the entire time. One move, one change is the entire narrative of the match and they could be pinned. Okay, well, coming soon. I think I'd be quite good. Very strong in the thigh.

Quite an aggressive presence. Oh, yeah, you get a hint down there and you'll be able to absolutely take them out. Roll them over. Yeah, right. Quite an aggressive presence. Oh, yeah, you get a hint down there and you'll be able to absolutely take them out of the account. Roll them over. Absolutely. Love a crowd. Is your brother still a wrestling

fanatic? Because that's how he met his wife. Yeah. In a wrestling chat room. I don't know if he's as into it as he was. I think he'd still like loosely follow it, but maybe not as much

as he was. Wow. Oh, well, place your bets, I guess. It'd be crazy if he had a bet on it. But that's what they're working towards. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Big weekend. You guys went to My Chemical Romance with Good Night Nurse on Saturday night.

Yeah. So good. Yeah. So good. Did you enjoy yourself? You had fun? We had lots of fun, actually. We did take care of each other.

Do you have my sunglasses? No. Oh. Someone has my sunglasses. No did take care of each other. Do you have my sunglasses? No. Someone has my sunglasses. No, you didn't take them. Because you said I'm going to leave them here because you didn't want to take them. Did I? I don't remember saying that. Great.

We've got a starting point. James is here. No, but James said they're not at his place. He hasn't had a problem. I remember you saying you're not going to take them. Okay, that leaves 40 people suspects in the disappearance. 40 suspects. Of my sunglasses. I'm going to message

James right now and say, who stole the sunglasses? I'm going to have to put a message in the party saying, look, I don't want to come in hot here, but someone has stolen my sunglasses. Yeah, and I want answers. No, no, no. First of all, when you do this, you say something like, did someone accidentally pick up my sunglasses?

That's right, because then that gives someone who's stolen. It's a real passive, you know, accusation. I love accusing people. Did somebody accidentally take my generator that was powering the cell phone tower in this civil defence emergency? Not me. Oh, I think I might accidentally pick that up. Oh, okay.

Oh, but I'll bring it. Yeah, that'd be so great. Thank you. Oh, was it the red one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was mine. Oh, no, no, no. Because mine's the same. I've got pick that up. Oh, okay. Oh, but I'll bring it. Yeah, that'd be so great. Thank you. Oh, was it the red one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was mine. Oh, no, no, no. Because mine's the same.

I've got the same one. That's mine? Oh, yeah. Why is it mine? Hey, did someone accidentally park their car through my dairy? Wait, which one's your dairy? Mine one's just the one on the main street. Yes.

It's got the lotto signs on it. That was me. Oh, that's so crazy. Yeah, I saw it. I'm so sorry. I thought it was a park. Yeah, no. No, it's not. It's a the lotto signs on it. That was me. Oh, that's so crazy. I'm so sorry. I thought it was a park. Yeah, no. No, it's not.

It's a dairy. Yeah. And then all the cigarettes fell into my... Oh, no, those are Hayley's. Are those... I wondered how I ended up with tons and tons of cigarettes in my backpack. Yeah. Must have been when I parked in the car park, which turns out to be a dairy.

You could just take them back so she can sell them. It's confusing. I'm scared. It's all good. It's always just a genuine misunderstanding. It's always a mistake. Most of the time, yeah. Yeah, always such a mistake on these things.

Did somebody accidentally fraud my card, walk past me and fraud my credit card? That might have been me. Was that? You've got the machine reader. Yeah, but I just keep it in my pocket because I don't want anybody else getting it. Yeah, I think you might have accidentally,

it probably would have been when we were just hanging out or something, you just walked past me. Well, I was walking close behind you and there was a crowd, and then I might have just turned. Yeah. I did hear a doot at the time, but I just thought it was a low battery. Yeah, like just chuck the 100 grand back

and it'll be so good. Yeah, okay. Thank you. I don't think I got all of that though. Well, that's just what I was missing. Just double check. Okay, I double checked. Misunder though. Well, that's just what I was missing. Just double check. Okay. I'll double check.

Misunderstanding. Sorry, big misunderstanding. So what happened? Oh, your sunglasses, my chemical romance, Backstreet Boys were back in town. It was a wild weekend because, yeah. And where did Snoop Dogg play? West. Western Stadium.

The outside part of Trust Stadium. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotcha. Because on Saturday night, my wife took her dad, her dad lives in that apartment that's riddled with problems lately and he's very panicked about that. Yes. She dropped him off and then Snoop Dogg was staying at a hotel just around the corner and they pulled up to the lights.

Was that the same one that Harry Styles was at? And all of his band? Yeah, so. S slash O. The one that we went after the wiggles to the rooftop. Yes, yes. And the guy told us the rooftop bar was full but then the elevator accidentally took us up there and it wasn't. I just don't think he wanted our clientele. But anyway.

I do feel like the words do you know who I am were forming in your mouth. My mouth? They've never formed in my mouth. They were forming. They've never formed in my mouth they were forming they've never formed in my mouth so they my wife's driving my two daughters

are in the back they pull up to a traffic light and August my younger says hey mum look it's Snoop Dogg and Sade's like she doesn't know

who Snoop Dogg is and then and he's like oh yeah Snoop Dogg and they wind down their window hey Snoop Dogg and they wave to him

and he waved back. So he was just like hanging on the street. Sade confirmed it's Snoop Dogg. Sade confirmed it was Snoop Dogg. Snoop Dogg's massive. Like he's a big deal. What was he doing around there? Just walking.

No, he was coming out to get in his car to go to the show. Oh, okay. He was coming out of his accommodation. They just timed it perfectly for a drive-by and a hey, Snoop Dogg. Wow. I would have loved to have seen Snoop Dogg. But I definitely have MyChem energy. Yeah.

You know, like I was in the right place. Right. But it would have been confusing for a lot of people growing up. You know, because I... What do you do? I transitioned through all of those. Started with the Backstreet Boys. Then I went to Snoop Dogg.

Then I landed at My Chemical Romance. Growing through my teenage years. So it's a hard decision to make. Hard decision to make. I didn't actually know Snoop Dogg, then I landed at My Chemical Romance, growing through my teenage years, so it was a hard decision to make. Hard decision to make. I didn't actually know Snoop Dogg was coming. I don't think I knew. A few complaints about the sound at Snoop Dogg. Oh really? What about it?

Well we yelled, we tried to catch the eye of the sound guy at My Chem because it sounded a bit quiet. Right, you wanted to turn it up. We were like, turn it up. And that's when my watch said noise warning and I said, there we go, now we've hit it. That's it. Right.

And it turns out my mum knows who Snoop Dogg is because when the girls were talking to her last night, they said, Nana, we still Snoop Dogg. I said, Nana's not going to know who Snoop Dogg is. Mum, excuse me. Excuse me. I know who Snoop Dogg is. She said, I know who Snoop double D-O-G is. I know who Snoop Dogg is She said I know who Snoop Double D-O-G is

I know Death Row Records Yeah Huge fan of Coming in here Saying I don't know who Death Row Records is I know him for Shizzle You take a folder on a plane I'm over your shoulder, baby.

Hell yeah. I'm having a peek at what you're highlighting, whether it be. I love it. Do you remember I knew about that Jameson's orange? Did you? I knew about it before. Well, when we flew to Palmerston North, you know, when you got COVID. And on that flight, I was sitting next to somebody from a liquor store chain,

and he was going over, like, new products, and it said on the front, like, confidential, because he must have been going to, like, the conference. And, yeah, they saw the Jameson's Orange. Yeah. I messaged our friend Todd that works for that company. I was like, I know what you're doing. You're such a nosy bugger.

Yeah. I do it too, though. I love looking at... Anything. I just want to look at anyone's life and get a little insight into what they're doing. Do you remember that time I was on the plane and there was that lawyer and she'd printed out,

she had like 50 pages of some guy's Facebook post, social media, and she was highlighting things. I imagine it was like a divorce or a cheating thing. Yes, where you were out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were out that night. you were out yeah yeah yeah you were out that night you were out that night

and she was hot and I was just like reading them all love it and there was there was the there was the Kiwifruit industry thing

I learned a lot you were reading that guy's emails I learned a lot about I don't think you should say the Kiwifruit industry what you saw well let's just say a scandal

those Chinese spy balloons would be a worry. If you see a Chinese spy balloon of a T-Poke or any of our other kiwi fruit. Shoot it down. Shoot it down. Shoot it down. Shoot it down. Burn it. Christian, do we even have any missiles? I don't even think we've

got missiles. New Zealand doesn't have missiles. What would we do with those? We need to get our frigates off the coast of the Bay of Plenty. But what if it's over land? Like in the middle. It can go far enough. Can they go that far? We've got some pretty big fireworks.

And we've got potato guns. Oh, my God. Let's get a potato gun. Let's get a potato gun. And put like arrow tips in the potatoes. What? And that'll puncture the balloon. Oh, yeah.

Arrow tips in there. Arrow. Yeah, okay. I think they say like arrow root. yeah. Arrow tips in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they say like arrowroot, like we don't have potatoes, we'll just cassava. We'll just have arrowroot biscuits. Yeah, yeah, kumara.

Boom. Blow it out of the sky with some super wines. It's hardly cutting edge military technology, though. It's not, but it does the trick. Do you need to spend billions of dollars on research? If you've got a $2 pack of biscuits from the supermarket, it'll do it. Well, that missile they fired at the balloon

was $400,000 US dollars. See, that's a waste of money. It's a waste of money. We've got potatoes down here. We've got potatoes. I just would have flown a Cessna into it. How much are they costing? How much is a Cessna?

And then what, parachute out before you hit it? Yeah. Yeah, that's a good call, actually. One of those parachuting planes and get someone with a spear. I had to dive through it. A Cessna is $270,000 or near offer in Otago at the moment. That's for a Cessna 172R2000. Could have got a secondhand Cessna.

Drone. Fly a drone up to it with a bomb on it. You've got a drone now. You could take care of this. I could take care of them. Okay, leave it to me. Anyway, back to this flight. This woman was on a flight and she looked across and saw a horrendous message about herself

and her child on the person's phone. Wait, wait, so the person whose phone it was was talking about her? It was wildly problematic. So much so she took a... How she did this? Well done. She took a photo of the man's phone

so she could say, this isn't like, I'm not making this up. This is actually what was said. How oblivious is this man? Yeah, I know that she can see it. Yeah. What did it say in as many words?

Oh, is it sexual in nature or racist? No, it's racist in nature and it's ableist in nature. Oh my god. It's got it all. He's ticking every box. Like you couldn't read it out otherwise you'd be cancelled.

Absolutely. Yeah, right. It's that bad. Yeah, it's that bad. Do you remember I've just opened this up. This was like last week, I think. There was a guy at a New York White Sox game. Do you remember this? He was an old fella and he's got his granddaughter next to him and he's on there. And because he's old, he's got massive font.

And he's texting a woman describing perhaps some of his desires that he would like to see out. And someone was just over the shoulder being like, look at this old mate with his granddaughter here at this White Sox game. Again, content I wouldn't see. Even read out. Very charged. Well, we all do it. We all have a peek at the person next to us. If you're taking any

sort of work on the plane, I'm going to be having a peek. Well, some people get those screens, those protective screens that you can only see your phone at the front angle. So anyone on a plane seat next to you wouldn't be able to see. But that's secretive, isn't it? Yeah. I'd be suspicious if Aaron got that.

We want to know what you've peeped from another passenger. Could be a bus, could be a train, could be a plane. It's one of those public transport. Hot air balloons? Are we taking hot air balloons? Well, if there was a whole lot of other people who are also doing business on a hot air balloon ride, I'd say when you're on a hot air balloon ride,

you're primarily enjoying the view. No, because I've been on one and I took my laptop out. Did you? Yeah, yeah. Emails don't stop. Yeah, they keep going. Business. The hustle never ends.

The hustle never ends. So, I mean, you could be at a restaurant, anywhere where you can just peek someone's phone. Yeah, right. What have you seen on somebody else's phone? I suppose waiters and waitress, wait staff would. Oh, my God. Yeah, because everyone just sits at a cafe these days like this, just doing whatever.

And then you peep over to take their order and be like, I just saw you, Willie. What have you peeped on somebody else's phone or screen or maybe they're doing some work. Some paperwork. Have either of you ever done the classic like, oh my god, look at this photo of my... What? Yep. 100%. But not even, it might not even be the sexiest thing, but every now and then

I've got IBS, right? And if my stomach's really humorously bloated, I will take a photo of myself. And I'm often just in the nude and be like holy moly look at this bloating Who are you sending that to? Just for personal records. Oh okay. Yeah I like to I keep good records

And those are the photos you want to use to give to the news right if you ever disappear. Ever disappear. Those are the ones you want up there. You'll be able to identify the body by the size of the bloated stomach due to her IBS as pictured. Yeah.

But I've done that where I've gone, oh my God, look at the kitchen and you're just like, that's a very vulnerable side-on photo. Andy, what did you pick on somebody's screen? I've seen someone uploading photos to their OnlyFans profile. Oh, you got that for free.

You didn't even have to bloody subscribe. What did you see? Careful now. Careful now, Andy, but what did you see in a roundabout kind of way? So, I had a professional photo shoot because I was sitting with their photographer over a breakfast

in a cafe just last week. And yeah, basically everything on display. Everything. Everything, right. In the cafe. Wow. The full English breakfast. Yes.

A couple of fried tomatoes. Alex, what have you picked on somebody's screen? Hey guys, how are you going? Good. on somebody's screen. Hey, guys. How are you going? Good, good. We were just, my wife and I jumping on a plane and sat down on our seats

and my wife looked over in the front seat of us, in front of us and the guys were messaging about us

to their friends on other seats. Yeah. What kind of thing were they saying? Well, just about our sexuality, really.

Literally, just started stirring stuff and my wife obviously didn't like that very much, so it was a very interesting plane ride home. So that's the most exciting part of their day is seeing a same-sex couple. Two lesbians sitting down. Exactly that. A couple of lesbians existing in the wild.

Oh, my goodness. Was it tempting to say something? Definitely. Yeah, definitely. It was quite, yeah, it was pretty bad. But I won't say it on air. But, no, it was insinuating our sexuality and just saying nasty things. And my wife's absolutely beautiful and stereotypically does not look like a lesbian.

Yeah, a lesbian can say that. Yeah. Not on to them. Well, I do. You a lesbian, so. A lesbian can say that. Yeah. It's not up to them. Well, I do. You said it, Alex. I've got the mullet. I've got everything. Yes.

But no, it was just a bit odd. It was a bit odd. It was a bit odd. God, people are pathetic, aren't they? I would have, did you say you were behind them? We were behind them, yes. We just sat down and they had a, there was a big group of them

and some of them were sitting on the other sat down and they had a there was a big group of them and some of them were sitting on the other side so they were obviously just texting each other back and forth. Were they sneaking looks? Could you tell who was getting the text because you'd see them turn and look at you guys? Oh, we knew who was texting and then in the end my wife said a few things so he knew that we knew that

we were sneaking looks. I think a bit sheepish in the end and stayed quiet for the plane flight. Brilliant. Nice. Alex, thank you. Some more messages in. Somebody did just send this in as a text message.

I thought it was worth addressing. They said, how good is finding somebody else's shopping list in the trolley when you're at the supermarket? Oh, my God. I love that. Yes. And you're like, that makes sense. That makes sense. What?

Yeah. Beg your pardon? Some of the messages. I read some of the All Blacks contracts on a flight to Wellington. What, so they were like sitting next to a rugby football union personal lawyer? Must have been. All Blacks rugby football union. New Zealand RFU.

NZRFU, New Zealand Rugby Football Union. Is it football? Rugby football, yeah. I thought football was soccer. And soccer's associated football or associated became sock. You'd know this if you read more over people's shoulders. I know. Not nearly nosy enough.

I know. I was on a plane in November last year and the lady in the seat in front of me had her text on big. You know how they do? Oh, they do, yeah. They do. Texting about how she tested positive for COVID just before the flight.

Three days later, I was absolutely riddled with COVID. Wow. I would be so mad. I would tell, I would knock. I'd be livid.

I'd say to the air hostess. Yeah. Excuse me, she's got COVID. On a flight to America, my partner at the very end, the guy sitting next to him Said that's a good book

And my partner said Oh have you read it before And he said no I've just been Well you've been reading I've just been reading Along with you Imagine if you're reading

And you're like Hey what's up Do that thing When you read a couple of pages And you're in a trance And then you have to go back Two pages Yeah like what's just been happening

Yeah I'm a hairdresser And back when I was an apprentice I had the absolute pleasure of looking after a very proud escort and I had full view of all of her messages to multiple men. She'd sit down in the chair and

absolutely have at. Just planned. Just planning the afternoon. That's because I guess the hairdresser, you could be getting your hair done and be on your phone, couldn't you? Yeah. It's been a while, couldn't you? Yeah. It's been a while, hasn't it? Well,

when I get my beard done, I have to kind of like tilt the head up and hold it there. Oh, so you can't be on your phone. You can't have your phone out. Yeah, right.

But you could, if you're getting your hair done, you could just be, and they could see everything. Yeah, they would. Because they're right there. They'd see so much.

Oh, yeah. So many people spotting people in public watching questionable material of a sexual nature. What a porn. I should have just said porn.

Questionable material of a sexual nature. I was going to say porn. Wow. On like buses and planes. What? This is my question though. What are you going to do about it? Like why are you watching it?

What are you doing that to yourself for? When are you going to deal with it? At work? At work? No. Or are you just going to watch it and then turn it off and then just have that to yourself for? When are you going to deal with it? At work? At work? No. Or are you just going to watch it and then turn it off and then just have that all in you? Is that why around 9 o'clock in the morning there's always a rush at the toilet? I don't know.

Or is that breakfast hitting? Is that breakfast hitting? I always figured it was the coffee. I thought it was breakfast and coffee. Pushing through. Maybe not. A little bit of bus porn. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Fact of the day Today's fact of the day is a birthday shout out To my cat Major Murray Fluffington She has a birthday shout out to my cat. Major Murray Fluffington shares a birthday with this very famous birthday. Wow. Who is it? What date is it? 13th of March. Happy

242nd birthday to Uranus. Wow. Is it only that old? Mine's 33. But it looks 242. God does it The planet Right

Yeah it was discovered on this day 242 years ago So it's not I was imagining that's when it was No Yeah but we don't know exactly So we're just giving it It's like Queen's birthday weekend you know Or King's birthday weekend

It's not their actual birthday But it's a bit of a token gesture of a birthday Right So yeah it's not their actual birthday, but it's a bit of a token gesture of a birthday. Right. So yeah, it's Uranus's birthday today. Question, do we still celebrate the Queen's birthday? It's King's birthday weekend. Yeah, but we celebrate his, but are we going to celebrate hers still?

Are we going to get two? Oh, no. I mean, they're just going to rename the one we have. It would be rude just to forget her like that. Yeah, what? She doesn't exist? God, she doesn't even be dead a year. Yeah.

And we're just giving away her birthday? Yeah. She'd have two days. How rude. We should protest. Yeah. I really care about this. For her.

For her, of course. She surfed for such a long time. Uranus is the coldest planet in the solar system. Just going to hit you with a couple of facts. I'm going to stay. Pluto is not a planet. Pluto, they wrote him off. Poor Pluto.

Yeah. Writing him off like that. Uranus orbits the sun on its side. What was it, drunk? So it's on the side and spinning. Is this the one that has rings? It does have some rings. Saturn is the most famous.

Right, okay. Saturn is the most famous ring bearer, but Uranus does have... Right. Yeah. Okay. I'm a Neptune girl. It takes 42 years to spin around, to rotate one.

So technically that's one day, it spinning on itself, but it does it so slowly. It takes 42 years. So it's not its 200 and whatever birthday. It's probably its like seventh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Got you there.

Yeah, gotcha. Because my friend was born on the February 29th, and so he's not 50. He's whatever. 12. 12.th. And so he's not 50. He's whatever. 12. 12. Okay. And 27 moons.

Okay. That's good stuff. You can see it with the naked eye as well if the conditions are right. I just thought we'd just give this beautiful planet that often is just the butt of the jokes a little birthday shout out for today's fact of the day. Where does the name come from?

It's Roman. It's Roman. It's Roman. It's the same as like when they named like Mars and stuff. Sandals. Roman. The sandals. The blinds. Yep.

The gladiators. Yeah, they were from there. That's the name. They were from there, yeah. The data mobile network when you're overseas. Roman. That you're out there, yeah. The data mobile network when you're overseas, Roman. That you're out there, Roman. That sucked.

I'm sorry, that sucked. And it's expensive. It's expensive. Because they didn't want them to go too far from the empire. Yeah, exactly. So they made it very expensive for them to leave. $5 a day. $5 a day.

So today's fact of the day is it's the 242nd anniversary of the discovery of Uranus. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fletch Vordernaley. Play ZM. You've been to the QMU show before many times. Many, many times, yeah. Even before we lived out there, we used to go to it. I love a rural-esque show. Similar shows, A&P shows all across the country.

There was line dancing. There was BMX, well, not BMX. Freestyle motocross. Yeah, motocross bikes. There was BMX. Well, not BMX. Freestyle motocross. Yeah, motocross bikes. There was food, tractors. Yeah, I sat on a few tractors. You did. Sat on a few tractors.

We missed the vintage tractor parade. Parade, yeah. That was on the Saturday. Yeah. There was Clydesdale horses with the carts. Oh, yeah. There was live animals. You can go pet the goats. I petted the goats. The goats yeah. There was live animals. You can go pet the goats.

I petted the goats. The goats are very susceptible to a pat. The cows, not so much. What do you mean? The goats like to pat. Yeah, they are. And then they nuzzle it into it. Yeah.

One of the favourite things, before I get into my actual favourite part of the day, was the competition. So I went in and I saw these amazing cakes. And as a host of the Great Kiwi Bake Off returning later this year, I was like, I'll go have a look. These were incredible. The cake competition.

Did they? Were you just like an I am sort of situation? Did you just kind of hang around until they said, are you? I was really close to having to pull a like, hello? I'm here. I'm here. You said Kiwi Cookie Competition. Hello. No, they didn't recognise me, but their cakes are incredible. I was nearly recruiting them for the new season,

and then there was like the pumpkin growing and onion growing and like chilli growing competition. The biggest pumpkin. Mm-hmm. Oh, wow. The biggie. It's the big pumpkins. They probably taste really yuck, though.

I think they're a specific type of pumpkin. Yeah, feral. Yeah, there was a courgette that's turned into a bloody marrow. Remember the guy that canoed down the river in his pumpkin? Yep. They weren't that bad. taste really yuck though. I think they were supposed to be a type of pumpkin. Yeah, there was a courgette that's turned into a bloody marrow. Remember the guy that canoed down the river in his pumpkin? Yep.

They weren't that big. They must be due to do that again because it's that time of the year they've been growing all summer. I just loved that stuff.

It was just all the really fun. The really wholesome the relish competition. The relish competition. I've actually been asked next year if I'd like to be on the judging panel

for the... For the relish. For the preserves, the jams and the relishes. Oh my god, because of the sorcerer's sorceress. Our friend there. The sorcerer. Our friend Sean

does a great relish. He does. We must simply enter. We should simply enter. Oh, I'll tell him. Please, he should. He's got so many tomatoes, he's just churning out relish. Oh, yes. There was also just a series of cracked eggs on plates. Now, we must have missed the egg judging. But there was like eggs based on weight, eggs based on blah, blah, blah,

and they were just all cracked onto these plates. Do you reckon you'd be expelled from the competition if there was a little bit of red? Oh, yeah, the little like pfft, pfft. How do you know? How do you know before you crack it open? You don't. A light behind it? You might get a little.

Oh, yeah, maybe. A little something. Did you see those massive roosters that looked like Falkorn Leekhorn from the old cartoons? Yeah. They were wild. Huge roosters. Right like Falkorn Lequorn from the old cartoons? Yeah. They were wild. Huge roosters. Right. What a day.

It was so much fun. And then they had this whole like Ferris wheel like carnival thing. Carnies. Call them what they are. Carnies. There was a bar. Yeah. Okay.

Found that. Like a moth to a flame. Yeah. Found that. Like a what? I know. Did you see me like sort of like just sort of soften the word a bit? There's one stuck in the glass.

I know. Like it's been there since the building was made. The windows were put in. I'm blocking it with the foot ottoman. For those that don't know. We don't need to go into it. Why did you say the saying? Because it was the saying.

I can't say. I was drawn to it like a bird to the bees. I was drawn to it like a fish to water? To a flame. Anyway, then Aaron heard... And then there was the still chainsaw wood chopping competition. Oh, okay. And so we went and sat over by this whole area that was like,

had those big poles, big trees. Yeah, the logs. That they're going to do the axe chopping. You know, when they stand on it and they like whack it down like that. Oh, yeah, I don't know how they don't chop their foot off. They've got some nice axes. How do they not chop their foot off? Professionals.

Professionals. And then so we missed that, but then we watched them and they had to try to cut the thinnest, smoothest slice with a chainsaw off of a log that was very impressive and then the next one was just who could chop a log

like a massive log in half the quickest and they just put them on these things they brace them in, they get their axes and they go 3, 2, 1, go and these men these literal lumberjacks. How tall are they? Giant. These men were, I was like, what is happening?

Did you get a funny feeling? I got a tingly feeling. Yeah. From head to just above the thigh. Sort of a centralised thigh area. Sort of like just not the thigh but not the stomach. It was buzzing. Yeah, something was happening.

And these men, oh, my God, they were there and they were wearing these tiny little T-shirts, these tight T-shirts. Yeah. And they were all upper body. Like they were just these massive men. One of them was huge and I was like, holy hell, look at number one. Because they've got a number, one, two, three, four,

and they're going at it. And they just like swing these axes with such force. Like these are like these strong men. They're hunters, providers. Yeah, what is it about? Cracks in half. Yeah, is it the power? What is it about it? They'll be able to protect you. I don't know.

I couldn't put my finger on it. I've never been like this before. I've never witnessed it. Yeah, right. I don't go to the, and they're part of the Auckland Axemen's Association. I was like, what? Oh my God, an axeman.

That's what I like. The ass. Auckland X-Man Association. No, the AAA. The AAA. Yeah. These men. A-A-Ass.

A-A-Ass. Yeah, the A-A-Ass. Just big, powerful dudes with sharp objects. Yeah, it just got me. Wow. And then so what, it finished? Yeah, so they did a series of them And they would get like

Bringing it down to like Who would make it to the final And then number one He was a mountain of a man Yeah Like I would climb him And chop him down with an axe Yeah

You know what I mean And then I said to I was just like Oh Like this drooling mess And I said It overcame me And I was like Holy hell That man is so hot And my friend who I was with like, oh, like this drooling mess. And I said, it overcame me.

And I was like, holy hell, that man is so hot. And my friend who I was with was like, yeah. And our two boyfriends in there like, yeah. And then I was like, oh my God, I'm literally like dry swallowing. And then I was looking at number one who won. Yep. He was your pick from the outset. He was my pick from the outset.

And I said to Aaron, would it be weird if I went over and introduced myself to him? He was just like, what are you doing? It would be weird. It would be. What would you say? Hey. Hey. Hey, number one.

Nice body. Can I have some of those, please? Can I have a touch? I tell you what, because Aaron's got an axe, a little one. He's one of those racing axes. Yeah.

I follow an Instagram account of the guys that make the racing axes. Yeah, you know this is big on Instagram, right? And TikTok. People follow axe accounts. Well, I'm going to do that now. But I feel like Aaron's got all the makings of a great axe man.

He's huge. He's got the beard. He's got the beard. He's strong. Yeah. He just needs to start swinging. Yeah, but they do a lot of spine twisting now. He's got a broken back.

Anyway, number one. Number one from the log chopping. Because, you know, you'd be able to look up the results online and find out who number one is. I from the log chopping. Because, you know, you'd be able to look up the results online and find out who number one is. I mean, that's dangerous too. But that's next level. That's taking the next year.

I'm allowed to look. This is why you're banned from next year's show. Yeah, I'm not allowed to go anymore. So there's a woman in the States who saw, she works for a company, and she saw a job listed for that company that is the exact job she's doing. Is she being replaced or it's like one of many jobs? I think it's one of many jobs. But the thing that caught her attention is the fact that the salary listed was a lot higher than her own.

Oh. So same job description, same company, higher salary. So she was like, that doesn't make any sense. Yeah. So instead of just like having a conversation and saying, hey, so you're advertising this for $90,000 a year. She just applied for it, which sort of makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? But what name did she put down?

Because when you apply for a job at our company, there's a computer system and it gives you like a randomised name so there's no bias. So it's like a colour and an animal. Yeah, like tangerine elephant. Yeah. I don't know if I'd want to work with a Tangerine Elephant. Purple Goose.

I'd work with a Purple Goose. I'd work with Purple Goose. Hey, Goosey. I can still be biased towards these names. Yeah. So she's gone on a major thread, and I wonder if this is, I'm not behind this, but she has called out her own company on Twitter before. Right.

The pay inequity. Oh, okay. So she was sort of saying already, I don't think I'm getting paid enough to do this job compared to this person, this person, this person. I'm assuming she's had these discussions with her employer already.

It feels like she's gone straight to Twitter. Oh. It really does. Yeah, your workplace will love that. They do appreciate that. Will you take a grievance personally before trying to solve it? Yeah. Without all the details. Yeah, your workplace will love that. They do appreciate that. When you take a grievance personally before trying to solve it. Online. Yeah. Without all the details.

Yeah. Yeah. So she complained about them, then saw the job listed for more money, thought, well, fine, I'll apply for it and get more money. That sort of hasn't worked because they're like, well, you already have a job here. You'd have to leave. And then she was like, yeah, but then I might not get the job.

I mean, I get her point. It's fair. Like, pay her more. That's a bit of a mess. So then she said the job, the ad got taken down and then was reposted as a different job title. But she was like, it's still the job I'm doing. And then she just kept calling

it out on uh Twitter 12 million times these tweets have been viewed so it's gone like pretty massive the last tweet on it is um hey I'm officially announcing that I'm looking for this role uh preferably remote but I'm not going to be working for this company anymore so I don't know if she's left. Would you give her a job, though? She feels like a pain in the ass. She feels like that. You've really got to dot your eyes across your team. I think she should always fight for the pay you think you deserve,

but just a real pain. I just realised I did the whole show with my headphones on backwards. Well, that means the show's backwards then, isn't it? We're going to have to play this in reverse. Well, should we speak in reverse and hopefully they'll work out the other way? Yeah. Give us a review. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.