ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 13th September 2022

Episode Date: September 12, 2022

Disney Cruises  Top 6: Coin  Traffic Light  Silly Little Poll!  Good Good Bad Good!  Vaughan the Meta Pest  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download, scan and play the Monopoly game at Maccas to be in to win. I'm pissed off. Oh, Hayley has ended the show. I literally just said I've lost my sense of humour over this. Yeah.

So yesterday, no, on Friday night, I noticed that I wasn't getting notifications on Messenger, on Facebook Messenger. Because I did think it was weird because I was messaging you

and you weren't messaging back. And then I was like, well, maybe you're just nervous about the comedy gala. Yeah, and I was like, it's weird that Fletch hasn't messaged me to say, like,

I'm here, good luck. And then I opened it and it had, anyway, so I was like, something's wrong with my notifications, whatever. And then I've, like, tried to fix it a thousand. And then I opened it and it had, anyway, so I was like, something's wrong with my notifications, whatever. And then I've, like, tried to fix it a thousand ways and I think I've made it so much worse.

I've erased my phone, like, a thousand times. Now it's like iMessage doesn't work. I can't log into my iCloud. Messenger's still not working. It won't let me upload my passwords. It said that the backups weren't valid anymore. It's weird, because I was, like,. That's weird because I was like googling as well. I was like, have you done this? Have you done this?

Which you know you love when you're trying to fix something. People are like, have you tried a factory reset? Have you tried to bring it on and off again? I have. And you've done everything that the internet is telling you and your phone's screwed. I just wanted a nice week. You just wanted a nice week. I just wanted a nice week and now

I'm going to have to spend it on the phone to Apple Or like driving down to the centre of town To drop it off to someone And then I'll be without a phone for a little bit Well you've got that Your spare phone Oh yeah but My entire house is packed up and in storage

Where's that? Where's that? Good luck Oh my god And my laptop Here we go And my laptop's not working. We've got a, this wouldn't have happened if you had a Samsung.

Yeah, but you'd be a loser. I would be a loser. Might I take this moment to promote Huawei as an alternative. Also Nokia. Yep. Nokia. Nokia, yeah. I've lost so much of it because my work laptop as well has shattered south.

And so yesterday all my notes from iCloud are gone. So all I've got is this. We need to discuss this. Hayley's notes situation. The only notes left on my iCloud laptop. You have hundreds. I've got hundreds and hundreds. The last one it's got uploaded was from 2016.

Oh, no. What was Hayley noting in 2016? Uh-oh. I've got hundreds and hundreds The last one it's got uploaded was from 2016 Oh no What was Hayley noting in 2016? Are we about to witness our very first meltdown? Here you go 6th of January 2016, 2.04pm Milk, sour cream, avo salad Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool Why didn't you delete that?

Friday, 12.10, grit I was still doing Grit back then. A good one. A good Grit. Iris, documentary. I've watched that twice. That's from 2015. Christmas presents.

Colouring in book for Jeanette. Who's Jeanette? When people, when adults are doing colouring in. It's Mum. Oh. You go, here's an idea. A sketch where two fashionable girls with similar bodies walk into a small second-hand store as they race to get the bargain first.

When people get caught picking their nose, they always say, no, I was just scratching it. How often does your inner nasal passage actually itch? Early comedy days. Just working through some rough ideas there. A sketch about Kuru Club membership And drinking so much there So you can zone out when a kid is kicking the back of your chair

Playing hand clap games The cup song on the tray table Were you drunk when you wrote that? No, but these are dumb ideas I wanted to see what happened at the end of that one Where the two girls of a similar body size walked into a thrift store Yeah Did they walk in good friends and

And come out not? Enemies. Yeah, who knows? Yeah. Anyway, I'm just slick. Well, good luck getting to the bottom of that technical difficulty. Yeah. I'm pissed.

Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Three minutes past six. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleets, Fawn and Hayley. Three minutes past six. Morena. Happy no mask traffic light day. Just spitting everywhere.

What a dumb holiday. It'll never catch on. Happy no mask, no traffic light day. Yeah. Their presence. Who's the person that pops down the chimney on this auspicious occasion? COVID. COVID's the person that pops down the chimney on this auspicious occasion? COVID. COVID pops down the chimney and straight into your lungs uninterrupted.

COVID down the chimney. No, it's interesting. I was talking to my mum. She's been in Italy for like nearly five months. Yeah. And like lots of our friends are in Europe. They're just like, they're done with all that. I know.

You know, they've been long done with all of that. So, hmm. It'll be interesting. What about with COVID numbers, though? They don't count them anymore. It's summer. Yeah, and they don't count them, yeah. All right, so they've been outside.

Let's check in in winter when the waves are back in Europe. But, yeah. All right, coming up on the show today, Secret Sound, that's underway. $100,000 is the jackpot, all thanks to Neon. Just got to get through this morning. We'll do this at 7, 8 and 9, and then at 3, 4 and 5. This is the sound that could win you $100,000.

It'll come to me. Also, if you haven't seen the marketing if you haven't seen the poster for The Secret Sound I'd say we all look very sexy

It's like an action movie poster We all look incredible Oh my god I mean oh my god You're cut off by the television line there Vaughan

Yeah I've got half a face on here to be honest Makes you look like you've got quite a tall face. It's an improvement. You're doing a casual flex there, Fletch.

Don't... Oh, yeah, he's popping. Don't pretend like we didn't notice that. What is it? Accident? It's accidental. Oh, whoops. Yeah.

So, seven o'clock, the next shot at Secret Sound, $100,000. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah. Australia has been floating the idea of people to put on the currency instead of King Charles III. I thought that countries that are in the Commonwealth, like Australia and ours, would have to have the queen or now the king on their currency.

You've got to have a strong side profile. I've never had a very strong side profile. I'm quite soft in the jaw. You want to be chiseled. I'd get them to carve a bit more of a line. Well, Australia are floating like Kath and Kim, Steve Irwin, for their

money. Aren't they people? Well, people are. Yeah, some classic Aussie icons. So I've got the top six people that could be taking a spot on our currency. All right. Also coming up on the show. Anita Wiglet joins us in studio. One of our favourite drama queens to talk about a new project,

a new exciting venture. Next on the show, there's a warning. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. So there's a warning for people that love to TikTok their cleaning. I mean, I hate cleaning, let alone taking the time to make a video of it. I did see a very, oh, Vaughn, you would have loved it. I thought of you.

I should have sent a very good gravestone, headstone clean. Oh, I love a gravestone. I love a headstone clean. Like a pressure wash? Oh, but she had like a chemical. She just went sprit, sprit, sprit Leave, leave, leave Scrub, scrub, scrub Could just be vinegar

Yeah, it could be that What's that? 30 seconds Spray and walk away Could have been 30 seconds to Mars I think Jared Leto

Yeah Brunched out into Cleaning products as well Has he? Well no This is the trend on TikTok Where people mix Different cleaners

to make like a colourful froth. Froth. Froth. You know, like a foam. Yeah. So like say, for example, your toilet deck might be a beautiful bright blue. So you put that on your toilet and then you might have a pink, some kind of pink toilet cleaner or other cleaner.

So you put that on and then you might have a green one. That's too much cleaner. And then you might just put a bit of jiff in for a bit of white. Oh, Jesus. And then you're making this rainbow of colours, which does look amazing in the videos, but experts are saying you're also doing some junior science class stuff here and you could be mixing up some fumes.

Might start a bomb. And also all of those chemicals that aren't needed to clean, for example, a toilet. No. Are all going down the system and into our waterways or our systems. Yeah. You only need a little squirt.

Exactly. And then a little scrub. But people can't get enough of these videos because the colours are real beautiful. It feels wasteful. It little squirt. Exactly. And then a little scrub. But people can't get enough of these videos because the colours are real beautiful. It feels wasteful. It feels really incredibly wasteful. So is this like the hot... So here's one here.

I'll just turn this down. So I'm showing... Why did that cleaning video start with her saying something about, oh, my dad cheated on my mom? So she puts... Jesus, we're unloading a lot, aren't we? We are, yeah. Here's me cleaning a toilet, but also... Why did she shove in there? So she puts. Jesus, we're unloading a lot, aren't we? We are, yeah. Here's me cleaning a toilet.

Why is she shoving there? So she puts like a sponge at the bottom and then she puts a purple and then she puts a blue. And now a dark orange. And now a dark blue. And now an Ajax. And now a bleach powder. But the toilet's clean at this point.

Dude, my dude. Yeah. And now more and more. What? Here's a yellow. What? Here's a pink sludge. What was the sl more. What? Here's a yellow. What? Here's a pink sludge.

What was the sludge? It's like she's trying to make slime. Literally, the toilet is half full of chemicals. But you're right. Like all of those would have a different pH. And if there's like a high pH and a low pH, they react and gas comes off or any sort of chemical reaction. Yeah. And then she had her just sticking her hands in. She stirs her hands around with just like real thin rubber gloves but people are loving these videos because of all the

colors it's like the slime videos and the asmr videos and the it is sometimes i think about my great grandfather writing letters home from the war and what he would think what he would think about this all. I was going to say like imagine a war with TikTok but we've seen that with the Ukraine-Russia conflict. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like live streaming. Oh my god. But I don't think, you know. Giving away

locations with their TikToks. I don't think they're in the trenches watching someone absolutely douse a toilet in toxic chemicals. And then shove their hand in and go, ooh. I mean, if you've got downtime in the trenches or in your tank, you're on TikTok, you could be. Doing a dance? It could be soothing.

I just use a classic squirted duck. Yeah. Scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub. Although the other day I did, you know how you squirt it and you go around the rim? Yeah. I missed the rim and squirted my wall with a massive big... Yeah, that's a oopsie.

Absolutely. Amateur mistake. Yeah. All right, 12 past six. Next, speaking of things being put into the water, something will be coming to New Zealand waters for the first time ever. I'll tell you what it is next. Oh, what a segue that was.

The segue. What a segue. We've just witnessed it, New Zealand. I might tell you what it is next. Oh, what a segue that was. What a segue. What a segue. We've just witnessed it, New Zealand. I might tell you the next 10 minutes. D23 was on at the weekend. This is a massive expo of all things Disney. I like the Star Wars celebration, but this is everything Disney. Same place, same convention centre.

Oh, yeah. Next to Disneyland, they announce everything like toys, movies, TV shows, things that are happening at the park, park exclusives. And one thing they announced is that Disney Magic at Sea, a Disney cruise liner, will be making its first call to the Southern Hemisphere. Australia ports of Brisbane, Melbourne and Sydney from October next year and Auckland in November and December 2023.

Do you think Disney cruise ship will make your mouth skid off and like walk around Queen Street? No. Walk around like

get off at Littleton get the bus into a little group leader with a flag? No mentions of no mentions of Littleton. Okay. Just Auckland.

Oh, just Auckland. Yeah. They're not going to do the whole of New Zealand, the loop that most of the cruise ships do? I don't think so. Okay. So the ship that's coming is the Disney Wonder. I'd have to ask my parents which one they went on

because my cousin was working on the Disney cruises for a while. Right. She came back with enough money to bloody put a deposit on a house because she was doing it in the Caribbean in America. It's big money in America. Because they tip, don't they? Like nobody's business.

What was her job on the cruise ship? She worked in the beauty therapy. Like doing the nails? Nails, massages, waxing. Oh, getting a wax on a bike. Yeah. I suppose you've got to keep it trim. Keep it toit. Keep it it trim. Keep it toit.

Keep it toit. Keep it toit. You'd think you'd get a wax pre your vacation, right? Yeah, but it comes back. Oh, yeah, maybe you couldn't. Yeah. Maybe you couldn't get it done. Maybe you've got a fast sort of a fast hair growth cycle.

Yeah, and then you're in the middle of a Disney cruise. With your bristles. Your bristles out. Capacity for bristles. There's capacity for 2,700 passengers with all their bristles. And then 950 staff. Oh, wow. So just under like 4,000 people, effectively, over 11 decks.

That's how high it is. Wow. Are New Zealanders going to be able to take this cruise? Yeah. Or is it just Americans that come down under? No, no, no, no, no. It's New Zealanders. Like, well, apparently, like, I don't know.

We could jump on. From two to six day adventures for this. So this one's literally like steaming down here, primarily to service Australia and New Zealand. Oh, wow. Okay. I don't know if it's bringing people with, or if you can get down here and then you do your own thing

and then you get back on when it goes home. Right. Can you do the island so? Would you just jump on in Auckland and do a cruise in Melbourne, Sydney? Well, I don't know where cruise ships go around New Zealand, but I would assume in a four or six day cruise you could get to the islands and back.

Absolutely. Okay. Pop over to Fiji. But there's also no mention of where it will be going. Okay. Other than it will be down here. Right. But I guess that's the reason you do the Disney cruises

because you're a Disney fanatic. So on board, here's what you've got for your Disney fanatics. There's the Disney Oceaneer Club. And that's like the Frozen. You've got your Arnie, you've got your Elsas, you've got your Olifs, you've got your Spins, you've got your Kristoffs, and you've got your Hanses. This already sounds horrible.

And then a multi-level replica of Andy's room from Toy Story. Okay, that's cool. And then there's a Marvel Superhero Academy to unleash your inner superhero. It's going to be full of kids. It's going to be so full of kids. That's all I can think of. Adults only areas include the Quiet Cove pool as well as spas and fine dining. I bet you it gets bloody buck wild in there.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. So it will depart Auckland on November 21st, 25th and 28th. So that must be like the December 21st, if you get on that one, that's your four-day cruise. Right. And then another four-day cruise, then only a couple of days,

and then December 1st and 4th. Okay. Double occupancy, prizes per person based on double occupancy. So if you were going to take a lover on the cruise ship, $1,245 per person for three nights on an inside stateroom. Up to $2,800 for the concierge stateroom with a veranda. Yeah, I'd want a veranda. You'd want the veranda.

Oh, I don't want a veranda. That's how people fall to their death. Yeah, but also you get a bit of fresh air. Imagine being all locked up. Yeah. Okay. I don't, I don't, I don't, I've never been on a cruise, so I won't poo-poo it, but it doesn't sound for me.

I will. I went to the official Disney page, Disney Cruise, DisneyGo.com, ships, magic, Disney magic. And at the top, it does say, an inherent risk of exposure to COVID-19 exists in any public place where people are present. Yeah, especially when you're locked. That's right.

On a moving island. They started it. Yeah, that was where it really got going, didn't it? A cruise ship that lost power. I mean, I feel if you're a Disney fan or you've got kids, this would be like up your alley. It looks, it does look really cool. It would be fun.

There's a Hydra Slide. Do I have you on board now? There's a Hydra Slide that is see-through and goes out over the edge of the ship. Oh, no, I don't need that. What if I lose my togs again? No, it's got a lid on it. It's got a lid on it. You've got your bum.

Your bum's like squeaking past everyone. Everyone looks up. All right, George. He's got a couple of toothbrushes up there, doesn't he? Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now that the pandemic is over, done, dusted, live performance is back. Yeah.

We've been talking about comedy, and now we're going to talk about cabaret. The Auckland Live cabaret season is kicking off, and with their very own show, New Zealand's favourite drag queens, Keita and Anita, have a show. Anita Wiglet joins us in studio. Hello.

Thank you so much for having me. Oh, an absolute pleasure. Now, you guys have a show called Champagne and Cabaret with Keita and Anita. Yes. Tell us about it. Well, I didn't actually know it was called Champagne and Cabaret until recently. I think they realised that we both love to drink, so they're like, it's a perfect line.

Yeah, perfect. Now you've given yourself licence as well to have champagne on stage. Absolutely. Going to be sm on stage. Oh, absolutely. I'm going to be smuggling that into my suitcase backstage. So Keita and I, we have been reunited after RuPaul's Drag Race Season 1, because Season 2's out now and we're old news. So we're coming together and we're getting to work together, finally. And we've put together this show, so it's our favourite solo shows.

We've got some duets. And we're basically just going to have a lot of fun on the Civic stage. So when you say that you guys are coming back together, was there beef? Oh! There was beef. That was what happened. The only beef was the ones that Keita was eating pre-gastric sleeve surgery. So Keita and I, we've been best friends for about 12 years now, which is crazy.

I know. We're completely sick of each other, to be honest. I bet. So Keita's gone on and she went to Australia and America and I did nothing because I didn't win. Robbed. I think we'll say robbed. We'll go with that.

And so we're back together and we get to just have fun. We have so much fun together. And we're doing it for the Cabaret Festival with three shows. It's so much fun together. And we're doing it for the Cabaret Festival with three shows. It's so much fun. Now, our social media queen, Carween, is an absolute drag fanatic.

She agrees that you were absolutely robbed when you say Carween. You would say that, wouldn't you? One thousand percent. Oh, thank you.

She's like playing it very cool today, but she is fizzing that you're in a studio. Oh, she's going red. Look at she's going red. My cheeks are also going red, but that's for a different reason.

Now, when you guys do, because I know that you do gigs during the week, like smaller stuff like that and bars and whatnot. But for something like this, which is like a huge festival, is there like a little bit more kind of, I don't know, do you put like more feathers on, more diamantes on? So for this one being such a big event,

so it's at the Civic Theatre and on the Civic stage, which is going to be, so the audience, the way it works is quite amazing. The audience sits on the stage and our backdrop is kind of the auditorium. Oh my God. So it's quite an amazing thing. So yeah, so we're really pulling out all of our best outfits this time. You're sticking a couple more rhinestones onto our outfits.

I'm sure you get asked this so often. How long does it take? How long does it take for you to get into, like, one of your incredible outfits? Well, I'm super lucky because I'm, well, with the makeup at least, I'm a natural beauty, so I don't need much at all. So it only takes me a couple of seconds. But a mascara. Yeah, you know.

Realistically, it takes me about probably an hour and a quarter to do the makeup and then to get into the outfit, probably another 15, 20 minutes on top of that. So I give myself two hours to get ready, including shaving time. That's not too bad. No. So what can the audience expect? So they're going to be on the, like if you haven't been to the

Civic Theatre in Auckland, it is one of the most beautiful, one of the oldest theatres. Yeah, it's so nice. It's got like stars, like the actual theatre itself is going to be the backdrop. What can they expect? They're on the stage, they're watching you. Well, hopefully lots of laughs, that's for sure. And lots of razzle dazzles.

As I said, we're bringing out our best outfits and our most favourite solos and duets that we've done over the years. So it's basically going to be like an Akita and Anita variety show of the golden ages. It is so exciting. Well, go along and see Keita and Anita in Champagne and Cabaret with Keita and Anita 18th, 24th, 25th September at the Civic and you can get tickets Aucklandlive.co.nz. Cannot wait.

Thanks for joining us. Thank you for having me. Oh, hi. Well, you may have seen some articles since the passing of Queen Elizabeth II that we're going to need a change to the currency. The currency's still good and forever will be, and they'll just slowly phase in some child stuff. But then it's cool, like, you know when you find a really old coin or a, you know, it's got the date on it that they were minted,

so you can see when, it's always good finding when your birth year. If they slowly start to phase out the hard coin, will it mean there are no old coins in circulation? Coins will last forever. Yeah. Just trying to Google, does the queen or the monarch need to be on the money? And I can't find an answer.

The coins also change shape, right? So they have been phasing out the coins. That's right. Yeah, because there used to be like the young Queen. Big chunky monkeys. What? No, she's not a chunky monkey. Remember the old 50 cent piece?

It was a big chunky monkey. Yeah. Yes. I thought you were saying when the Queen was a chunky monkey, we had to change it. When the Queen was a chunky little monkey. She went on keto and we had to change all the coins, remember, because her whole site profile changed.

It really worked for her, but then she stopped and went all back on again. That's what happens. Okay. She went on keto and we had to change all the coins, remember, because her whole site profile changed. It really worked for her, but then she stopped and put it all back on again. That's what happens. That's why I couldn't be the queen because I'm just a yo-yo. Oh, a fluctuator. And I want them to use the skinny me on the money, not the puffy one. Yeah, but that was years and years and years ago. And you're like, I'm the queen, damn it, I'll fight you all. Yeah.

My problem is you put someone on the currency and then it comes out they did something horrendous in their life. Oh, yeah. They're cancelled. They could be cancelled. Yeah. So I've got the top six things we can have on our currency that aren't faces because faces are problematic. Yeah, okay. On the $1 coin, I would like to put a number six today.

On the $1 coin, I would like to say the Toyota Corolla that did 2 million kilometres. Remember that old boy? Yeah. And he had that car. He's like, yeah, she's two million kilometres. Everyone's like, a bigger part of what? And he's like, oh yeah, it's been going up and down a bloody new Plymouth and back five times a week. And that, very Kiwi. Very Kiwi. Very Kiwi.

Worthy, I reckon. To have the old Toyota Corolla that did two million Ks. Number five on the list of the top six things we could have in our currency that aren't faces because they're problematic. On the $2 coin, a Swap-A-Crate bottle

of Lion Red. And there could be regional. Auckland gets Lion Red. South Island gets Spates. Yep. I don't know. Waikato gets Waikato. Wellington gets a sort of

Tui? A Garage Project hazy Oh, no, no, no. We're talking of a garage project hazy IPA. Oh no, no, no. We're talking the classics. We're talking the classics. Yeah, right. I love a craft beer

as much as the next guy in his 30s with a beard. Yeah. Oh, 40s and the beard. Oh. Did you just remember you're 40?

It just dawned on me. As I said, 30s. I'm like, that's not my... Keep scrolling down. Keep scrolling down. Do you sometimes forget how old you are

and you have to actually think like... Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because every year you get one year older. Mine is I always forget how old my sister is because she's my little sister. So in my mind, she's like 19. She's either six or she's 19.

Forever, right? Number four on the list of the top six things we can have in our currency that aren't faces, because faces are problematic. On the $5 note, I'd like to put forward the flat white. Oh, okay. Yeah, nice. Yeah.

Kind of touted as a Kiwi invention, isn't it? Yeah, it is. And it's also on the $5 note as a proviso that they're never allowed to charge more than $5. Oh, yeah, okay. For a flat white. I think you might already be a little bit late. Pull it back. Start charging more for the others for a cheaper flat white. Why am I saying this? I don't drink flat whites. For a flat white. I think you might already be a little bit late. Pull it back. Start charging more for the others for a cheaper flat white.

Why am I saying this? I don't drink flat whites. No, I know. Charge them the earth for them. Number three on the list of the top six things we could have in our currency. We can't have faces because faces are problematic. On the $10 note, how about a mountain? But not just any mountain.

The mount. And not from sea level. From the top. Yeah, the view, and not from sea level, from the top. Yeah, the view. Yeah. They look great. Yeah, the view down the beach. The photo of someone taking a photo of themselves in front of the view.

Bingo. That's exactly what I'm thinking of, that classic angle of when you get up there, but then you need to just stay up there for like 10 minutes and catch a bit of the breeze and get your sweat away, retouch up your makeup, readjust the boobs inside the... Whisk them up. What is that active wear?

Lulu. Lulu or an Ivy Park. Hoist. And then get your photo and stroll back down. Number two on the list of the top six things we could have in our currency that aren't faces, because faces are problematic. On the $20 note, speaking of a beautiful landscape, let's get the nicest ass we've got into an onsen hot pool.

Yeah. Let's get the nicest ass. I'm guy's ass, girl's ass, but an ass. Just an ass. Both, both. Both. One of every eight kinds of ass. Okay.

Maybe a rainbow of asses. Yeah, beautiful. All the different colours and asses that make up this beautiful country of ours. I'd love to know when everybody gets their hour at Onsen or Hot Pools, how much of it is photo taking? You've got to take the photo at the start because you get a bit sweaty otherwise. You get sweaty and clammy and pruney.

And you've got your shampers right, so you have to have that. Yeah. Oh, my arm. Get that on a note. Yeah. Get that on a note. Just a line-up.

Lovely. Line-up of some bits. Multicultural asses. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six things we could have in our currency for the $50 a night, the Great Bra Fence. Just over the hill. Oh, yeah.

Just over the Crown Range there. Great Bra Fence. I saw a gumboot fence the other day. Hundreds of gumboots. Yeah. Why? I'm not sure. Just for fun.

Just for fun, I think. Sense of community. It was a QTA road in Hellensville. Oh, yeah. They want to drill into the fence. Right. I, I think. Sense of community. It was a QT road in Hellensville. If anybody's got a spare pair of gumboots, they want to drill into the fence. Right. I assume the farmer's okay with it. Or someone's...

Sure. Too late now, otherwise. Yeah. A few too many gumboots for you not to be cool with it. That is today's top seven. Well, as of last night at 11.59, it was an end to the traffic light system. Not at...

Not in Aotearoa, New Zealand. Yeah, no, no, you just fly through them now. You yell out, committed, and you just drive through them, regardless of what colour they are. Not at intersections, the traffic light system for COVID. Yes, it's gone. So what this means, masks were in requirement. You will be removed except for in healthcare and aged care facilities.

Okay. That makes sense. Doctors, hospitals. Our most vulnerable. So did I say... I don't know why I decided to do a French accent. I also saw if you go to the pharmacy, you might still be required to wear a mask. Fair enough.

But also some businesses can ask you to still wear them, right? Yeah, because it's their property, right? Yeah. It's up to them. You just put a sign on the door saying, so probably best to still keep one in your handbag. Yeah. In your purse, Fletch.

And I keep mine in my purse. In your clutch form. I keep mine in my, oh, always in my clutch. My phone, my identification, because no one believes I'm 40. Nah. I keep it in my clutch. And in my little Louis Vuitton mask. Oh, that's so cute.

Far more about style than purpose. Well, they match your loafers, which is what you're going for, I know. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Sockless, of course. Oh, yeah. It's going to be stinking. So here are the key details of what's changed overnight. If you test positive for COVID-19,

you will still be required to isolate at home for seven days. However, people who live in that house with you are no longer required to until they test positive and they will have to do ongoing rat for seven days. However, people who live in that house with you no longer required to until they test positive and they will have to do ongoing rat tests. Yeah. So whereas before, if they haven't had COVID in the last three months, they were required to isolate with you

because chances are they would also acquire the virus, but no longer. All government vaccine mandates are set to end in two weeks on the 26th of September. So if your kid's teachers all of a sudden back at school She wasn't in Fiji Maybe we ask some questions And get them shifted to the class

Of the teacher that was there all along Vaccination requirements For incoming travellers and air crew Will also be removed Yeah and you're not going to have to do those tests If you've come back into the country recently They give you a couple of... Day zero, day five.

Yeah, a couple of raddies. A couple of raddies. Support for businesses and workers will continue through leave support payments. Sure. Sure. We don't know what that means. We don't know what that means.

It's probably the most important. We're like, yep. If you own a business, it's up to you, baby. You sort that out. All New Zealanders aged 65 and over and Maori aged 50 and over will have automatic access to COVID-19 antivirals if they test positive. That is our most at-risk. Members of this beautiful country of ours,

which my dad still hasn't had COVID, had a pacemaker put in last year. Yeah. And so mum's like, oh, he'll be straight into town for his antivirals. Yeah, they're pretty lucky on the farm though, aren't they? Well, yeah, they are. They're like me. They like to hide away.

They don't put a huge amount of value in being in a group of people. Yeah. Good on them. And from Tuesday, case and hospitalisation number reporting becomes weekly, not daily. Boo! I laughed. It was my one o'clock little ding. No, I'm down.

The only push notification I still have. I'm down with getting rid of this. It was nice seeing it go down. I stopped caring a long time ago. It was nice seeing it trail off. When it was spiking, that was like, holy moly. Yeah, but you love a graph. Just search for some other graphs.

You know how fun it was years ago when we got down to zero? Yeah. Remember when cases popped up and we were like, ooh, ooh, ooh, and then we got down to zero and we stayed there for ages? And then it was like one and we're like, oh, back to zero. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley, silly little poe, silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly That silly little pole

Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Ah, well it's silly. It's little. Yeah. And it's a pole.

Using the default image as your screensaver or lock screen. Like on the iPhone, people use that world image, the earth. Yeah. Is that still default? It has been for like forever. Maybe. Just whatever's in your background. Have you changed that or is it Same with people that get a desktop computer and use the

you know, the Windows or the Mac default. But you've got it on your work laptop. Mine just keeps changing back. Every time I update something, it changes back to. Yeah, same But you've got it on your work laptop. Mine just keeps changing back. Every time I update something, it changes back to... Yeah, same. I've got mountains.

Yeah. I've never been to these mountains. Those are beautiful mountains, though. Mountains that you see. Oh, that's the road up California. Really? Yeah. Big Sur.

Big Sur. That doesn't mean anything to me. Is it really? Because that was just a guess. I think it is Big Sur, yeah. Isn't it near where they filmed that Nicole Kidman TV show? What was that called? Do you remember that one? Where they pushed that guy down the stairs? Bewitched Big Sur. Yeah. This is near where they filmed that Nicole Kidman TV show. What was that called?

Do you remember that one? Where they pushed that guy down the stairs? Oh. Yep. Big Little Lies. Big Little Lies. That's the one. So it's called a Be Witch, doesn't it?

Yep. It is. She wiggles her nose. And he goes back up the stairs and he's alive again. Yep. That's one. I need to change this. Using your default images, your screensaver or lock screen, 90% said, nah, you gotta

personalise. You do. You gotta personalise. And we've been tooting around with this this morning because for iPhone users, iOS 16 is out. So what better time than to use... Yeah, do it overnight. Do it overnight because these two... No, it actually didn't take too long.

It took maybe like 15, 20 minutes. And use the work Wi-Fi. Why'd you bitch and moan so much in 20 minutes then? Use the work Wi-Fi. You're struggling for Wi-Fi at home, are you? You've used your monthly whoosh 20 gigs a month, have you? Well, some people might. Right.

I've just changed mine. There you go. We're on the luge. That's better. That's a bit more fun. Oh, that is nice. That's better. Those helmets are doing nobody any favour.

More people would upload their photos of their time on the Skyline luge with the helmets than the make-up. Yes. A dorky helmet. Absolutely. He's so good. All right, let's have a look at what some people have to say here. Nicole says, I lost my phone in Melbourne International Airport.

The only thing that identified it as mine was the screensaver. Always personalised. Oh, yeah, okay. Well, you had your lock screen as your COVID-19 pass there for a while, eh? Yeah, that was handy. So you could hold it out and people could scan it. That would be the same thing. Do you remember that?

Oh. Yeah. What were we up to, eh? Crazy. What were we up to? Wild times. Never forget. Bronte says, my fiancé doesn't have me as a screensaver,

but I do so think I might call off the... Okay, what we need to do here, Bronte, is work on our punctuation. Born. My fiance doesn't have me as his screensaver, but I do, so I think I might call off the wedding. Oh, okay. I got confused. Stumbled across there. I didn't know where to pause mid-sentence.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I do like it when couples, one has a picture of their significant other and the other one doesn't. Yeah. It's quite funny. Yeah. We always got to go one of each other

and one of the cat. Yeah. And it's up to you which one it lives on. Like one lock screen and home screen. You've got those two things differently. So the cat's got to be on there. Yeah. Sal says, YOLO. Which one it lives on. Like my lock screen and home screen. You've got those two things differently. So the cat's got to be on there. Yeah.

Sal says YOLO. I don't know why that's not YOLO. Also personalised ring and message tone. So you know when to ignore it and when not to. Oh yeah. Good call. So there you go. You can put a ringtone on somebody if you never want to answer their calls. Yeah.

Remember I made Aaron one. That's right. You made one. I literally called him yesterday and when he answered with his brothers, all I heard was, what the is that? He just sang a song. Yeah. And he answered,

he knows it's you calling. Yeah. Laura says, of course I've personalised mine because I'm not a psychopath that keeps the default. Yeah. Yeah,

it is, maybe it is. They'll have one of these in like 20 years. They'll be like, these are their star signs and this is what they had as their phone screensaver, these psychopaths.

Jackie said, just voted for got to personalise, close my phone, only to realise I have the default image. Apparently I have zero personality. Oh. I love a moment of reckoning, Jackie. Sarah says, the only default screen I've got is on my work phone. Oh, yeah. I don't personalise that because it's my work phone. Rachel said I'll be damned if I don't get to look at my doggy

every time I open my phone. So there you go, she's a dog mom. So there you go. People are overwhelmingly personalising the backgrounds of their phone. Well, yesterday the government announcing that September 26th, the Monday, will be a public holiday so that we can take that day to celebrate the Queen. Because the Queenie's funeral's on the 25th, isn't it?

Yeah, so that's going to be at... Which is our 26th. Yeah, and that's going to be an 11 or 10pm deal for us. So it's a late night if you're going to be watching that televised. I reckon I'll watch it. It'll be one of those historic moments to watch. Probably get bored because it'll be quite churchy, I'd imagine. Happens when you're the head of the church.

Yeah. Your funeral tends to be a bit churchy. A pre-order too. Yeah, they're like, Will and Testament stayed at all though she was the leader of the Church of England. She was just like, eh, look, make it quick. Everybody's only here for the clubbies.

I reckon it might be a bit tasteless because I think a lot of people have parties. Because I remember I went to parties for the royal weddings. Yeah. Do you think it would be tasteless on the long weekend that we get to have a little party in celebration of her passing, in remembrance? I think she'd want it.

Get some pims, some scones. Oh, my God. You've got to have Pimms. Pimms. She loved a G&T. Pimmin' a scones and G&Ts. Ah, yes, yes, yes, yes. Well, her body will be brought to London where it will lay in state in a casket.

And members of the public will be able to pay their respects to her, to her coffin at Westminster Hall until her funeral. Now, the Westminster Hall will be open 24 hours a day, and they are warning people that want to come along to pay their respects to the coffin and the Queen that they will need to bring a chair because there will be wait times, they're estimating, of up to 30 hours. That's more than a day. I've got a little pop-out Catman do-do,

and everyone will be so jealous of me if I rock up with that because it's like a moon chair. It's very comfortable. Are they doing portaloos? I've got a little bottle. Nappies, bottles. They're also saying like bag restrictions as well. So if you're going to have any snacks,

you're going to have to be in a very tiny, small bag. See-through bag? You know, full transparent bag? Yeah, well, they've got to take into account all of that. Yeah, any kind of, you know. High calorie, low space snacks. You want your nuts. Yeah.

You know, your almonds, your cashews. But do you find it weird? And you'll have to go through airport security too, like all the screening and stuff. Your bags go through a scanner and everything. Do you find it weird, like, people are lining up to see a coffin? Yeah, it is a bit weird. I find that weird.

Yeah, so do I. Like, I would just rather go down to, say, like, I don't know, like people have been going to Buckingham Palace. Yeah. That would be a nice thing to do, right? You get the feel of the mood. You get the feel of the mood. Maybe you could lay some flowers, but lining up.

Well, they're asking people to stop. Are they? No more Paddington beers, no more flowers. Sandwiches, no more sandwiches. Sandwiches. Right. We bring down too many marmalade sandwiches. The pigeons and the seagulls love it.

And the rats will certainly clean up afterwards, but they don't want any of that. Right. I'm just reading about, like, he got me thinking, we should release a list. If you are going to have a couple of beverages to celebrate the queen who loved to drink. Yeah. A drinking game.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's going to be fun. We put it on our socials, like, because she famously loved to drink. Oh, yeah. We put up the recipes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is a doubanet and how to make it? The Queen's favourite cocktail.

Have you ever had a doubanet? Never in my life and I do love a cocktail. Didn't she have a breakfast G&T? It's a pay-for-view. I shared a champagne at lunch. She loved it. A doubanet cocktail. Let me tell you how to make a doubanet.

The Queen's doubanet cocktail. This has got five stars from the review here. Okay. You need two Dubonnet Cocktail. This has got five stars from the review here. Okay. You need two ounces of Dubonnet. What's that? It's red. Is it like a liqueur, is it? One ounce of gin.

How do you spell Dubonnet? A large lemon wedge and two large cubes of ice. Dubonnet. D-U-B-O-N-N-E-T. D-U-B-O. Painfully easy to make. Into a shaker, add your duvet and gin with a stew of the bar spoon until fully chilled. Wine-based aperitif.

A fortified wine. Oh, is it like a port? Herbs and spices. A sweet port. A sweet, aromatized, wine-based aperitif. Fortified wine, herbs and spices. Do you know she liked her gin? You know how she released her own gin and it was made from herbs in her garden in...

Torby Poo. Balmoral and Sandringham. Oh, guys, her funeral is... The week before the day of... The week before. Yeah, who said it was? Who said it was that? I said it was on the 25th.

Oh, you silly goose. Yeah. You said it was? Who said it was that? I said it was on the 25th. Oh, you silly goose. Yeah. You silly goose. I'm a goose. So when she released her gin, she was like, oh, this is how I make it. And people were doing that thing where they'd be like, oh, yeah. Oh, Jesus.

That's straight gin. Like she could hammer it. Yeah. Okay, so a glass of wine or a dry gin martini with lunch. Yeah. That's what she usually has. She had a cocktail of gin and doubanet. That was kind of like the first drink she had of the day,

so that must have been a pre-luncher. Yeah. She's got her own gin there. Then later on in the afternoon, she'd have a couple more drinks. Interestingly, four drinks a day actually add up to six units of alcohol which would make the Queen a binge drinker by UK government standards.

Good for her. Yes. She was doing something right though. I was reading an article about how her key to long life was she walked the dogs every day,

rode the horses against, you know, doctor's recommendations. She was a very, very active woman and loved to tipple. They told her in her 80s that she had a delay of her drinking

and apparently she was just like, no. No. No. We have bad news, but we're going to wrap it in lots of good news. I've got great news. Right. I go above and beyond saying good news. I've got great news. Wow.

I've got cute news. Yep. That's a good sort of good. I've got good news. Yep. I've got good news for the country. I've got good news for the world. Yeah, that's a good sort of good. Then you've got good news. Yep. I've got good news for the country. I've got good news for the world. Oh, fantastic.

I've got bad news for the world. So I'll give you my good news first. This is a very cute story out of Western Australia. A family court has approved a seven-year-old boy's request to formally adopt several teddy bears. He wrote them a heartfelt letter to the court saying, like, you know, I want to take it beyond just having them in my house.

I want to formally adopt. And then they sent him back an email complete with a reference to the fictitious International Teddy Act of 1908. Yeah. Saying, in the matter of Mr. Denim, Baby Denim, Brown Bear, Bamboo,

Special Teddy Junior, and Tidy, Tiny, before a teddy in chambers, application having been made under the International Teddy Act for the adoption order, blah, blah, blah,

it is ordered that they be adopted by the boy's name to be treated lovingly as child and teddies. Wow. Whereabouts was this? Western Australia.

I'm just going to Google what the hourly rate for a judge is in Western Australia. I was going to say, I'm sure all of those caught up in the backlog of court cases and Western Australian court system are stoked that they're mucking around. No, look, you know, things are a bit quiet in Western Australia, no doubt.

You're telling me Kiwis earning untold amounts of cash in mines are behaving themselves and they're not breaking any laws? They're just earning some hard-earned cash and going home to their families. So he's adopted. Well, he's adopted, and it's attracted a huge response online. A cute photo of him with the teddy bears, happier than ever. Right.

And it's all official. It's a gateway, though. He'll be wanting to marry them soon. Oh, yeah, what's next? What? What is next? What is next? What is next? Where do we draw the line?

Adopting a bloody highway? Adopting a tree? Where does the madness end? Adoption is supposed to be between. You can adopt trees. Set of adults and a child. As the good Lord himself wrote down in his book. We've made our stance clear. We gave it to Abraham.

We've made our stance clear. Okay, I've got some great news for the country. New Zealand, stats New Zealand figures show that in July, there were 134,000 overseas visitors

to New Zealand. Tourism is starting back. Oh, they've got to go to Wanaka. Well, I wonder how many of them would have been Aussies hitting the slopes in the South Island. So comparing that 134,000 tourists in July, bearing in mind the government yesterday announcing as well that we know vaccine mandates as well for overseas visitors,

they're scrapped. If you compare that to July in 2019, the good old days. July 2019. We would have found something to whinge about in 2019. Pre-Panny, there were 225,000 visitors. Well, we're coming back though. So that's nearly half. It's over half,

isn't it? Yeah. It's good. It's good stuff. That's my good news. Great. No more hi to my tourists. Welcome. Bad news. However. I my good news. Great. No, my hi to my tourists. Welcome. Bad news. However. However. I have bad news.

Now, you may be aware that Britney Spears is having a bit of a time in the moment. Yeah, she's airing a bit of the dirty laundry with the sun. One of her sons. She most certainly is. She, yeah, she's been having a public argument basically with her children. They don't want to see her at the moment. It's all too much. You know, everything she shares.

Anyway, as a result, she's been sharing a lot on her Instagram. But the terrible news I want to share is that she said she'll probably never perform again. She's done. She doesn't want to do it. She's too traumatised. The whole idea of performing makes her sad. And that makes me sad. I'm a big Britney fan.

Imagine her taking the stage of Elton. But performers say this and then they run out of money because of their cushy lifestyle. And they'll do a Vegas residency. And they'll do a Vegas residency or she'll tour. I feel like I've been to quite a few final tours. Yeah, 100%. End of the road tour and then you're like,

oh, Motley Crue's back again, didn't they? Tommy Lee's got his wang out to promote the tour. Interesting. Why not? He said the other day he said he's starting an OnlyFans. Yeah, I know. I'm sure his wife's stoked about that. Yeah.

I mean, she's got a profile online. Yeah, she also knew what she was marrying, so famously he had decades under his belt of that sort of behaviour. Anyway, that's the devastating news. To be honest, I'm by the by on that. So far, I'm in the positive. Because even your bad news wasn't that bad to me. Here's some great news.

A high-tech sponge has been developed. I'm sorry. This is good, good, bad, good. Not good, good, bad, great. A high-tech sponge has been developed. Okay. Those scientists have been at it again. And right next door in Australia.

A high-tech sponge, you can leave this outside. It can work in a bone-dry environment, relative humidity of 4%, which if you think that's Auckland's never been at 4% in its entire life. No. This thing would soak up atmospheric moisture in no time in Auckland, which is great news because then it can be powered by wind or solar to run electrolysis through this sponge

and it will extract pure hydrogen, which is the only portable green fuel source that can replace diesel or kerosene. But wait, can I use this to wipe down the bench? No, it's a different sort of sponge. This whole time you were talking, I was like this yellow sponge. Were you imagining a 3M sponge? Me too.

It's a high-tech sponge. Whilst that is a great sponge, do you still need a spray and wipe? The sponges with the sponge on one side and the scrubber on the other. I love them. Or those ones, what are they called? Mr. Daddy and they're shaped like a smiley face. Those are a great scrubbing sponge.

Mr. Daddy. Mr. Daddy. Great scrubbing sponge. Not like that, a high-tech sponge. Hello, daddies. They said they're more similar to a scrub daddy. Producer Jared's just sent through the goods. They're a great scrubber.

That's an unpaid endorsement. They're more similar to a silica gel sachet, you know that you, Executive Intern Anya, ate one when she was a child. Yeah, she did. Those ones that you keep in the things and it absorbs moisture. So this is a high-tech version of that.

Absorbs moisture, put some power through it, and enough that can be generated by solar or wind, and it creates pure hydrogen, which can then be used in place of fossil fuels. 10 square foot of this miraculous sponge can produce 24 gallons of pure hydrogen every hour. And if you had 100 square foot of it, you could power your entire home.

So we could have a big sponge on the top of our car, and it could be powering... You would have sponge stations. A sponge-powered house Or like just massive warehouses of these sponges that are just like sucking in moisture. And you know the best part about it is when it then burns off, when you use it, the hydrogen, to power the hydrogen

cell, the only byproduct more hydrogen and water and oxygen and water. Amazing. And they're saying it will be like, and I don't even know this, but did you know New Zealand roads Are going to be like the roads That the world tests

These hydrogen powered trucks on Cool Until one bloody crashes into you Yeah But I may get hit by any truck Oh yeah you're screwed anyway The outcome's going to be disastrous So I mean that's fantastic news

Great news Great news actually Feels like we're on the precipice of saying ta-ta to fossil fuels, doesn't it? Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Speaking of loving me more. No, I can't.

The sequels, I can't do it like you guys. Speak. Thank you, Sam. There's a heart in the bottom of my tea. I was just telling these two. I looked into my tea. What did the tea tell you? And the tea dust.

Undeniably, there's a heart. Wow. I would move it so you two could see, but it might upset the heart. I'll just come over. Look at it from this angle. Oh, I'm uninterested. What are you talking about? There's a heart.

Look. Well, speaking of love, here's the tea. Either that or a bit. Is that good? That was really good You missed Hayley's great segue So you're doing your thing She's learning right now

And then I say, speaking of love Well, I've got the tea That was quite good I want to talk about being ghosted Being ghosted There's a new debate online about the impacts of ghosting Because I think we think of it as sort of like a modern kind of almost funny, ah, I got ghosted

thing. But psychologists have been chiming in on actually why it hurts a little bit more than when someone actually actively and openly communicates that they're leaving you. Well, they give you closure when they do that, don't they? There's no closure. They say ghosting hurts because it's a form of rejection

and rejection is always hard regardless of whatever psychological vulnerabilities a person has. On top of that, the't they? There's no closure. They say ghosting hurts because it's a form of rejection and rejection is always hard regardless of whatever psychological vulnerabilities a person has. On top of that, the very nature of ghosting is that it comes alongside silence and therefore no form of closure. So they say that when you get ghosted, the best thing to do, don't chase.

You always tend to be like, I'm going to have the final word. I'm going to send a message here. They say if they don't respect you enough to prioritize you, to reply to you, which can literally take a few seconds and they aren't worthy of your time and energy. Yeah, that's the way I'd look at it. The best way to get over being ghosted is to accept that the right person for you would never behave like that.

Yeah, or a friend, because it doesn't always have to be like a relationship. A lover. A lover. It could just be a friend. It could be. In fact, those are the ghosting stories that I find fascinating. When people are best friends with someone. Such a high school thing. Or friends, and then all of a sudden they just disappear. Suddenly you're not cool or something. And they've just ghosted them.

But they might not know why, and that's what would be annoying. Have I told this story to you before about when I got ghosted them, but they might not know why. And that's what would be annoying. Have I told this story to you before about when I got ghosted by a DJ? Oh, my God. Do go on. You got ghosted by the dregs. I know. I was sort of casually seeing this person. I'd actually known them before, but we were sort of casually seeing each other.

And I was like, maybe that'd be my boyfriend. But I knew that they wouldn't be my boyfriend was my 21st birthday and he was like shall I come around earlier when your parents are there I was like no that's when I should have known but I didn't I hung out with him for a little bit longer and then he was doing a DJ gig at sandwiches do you remember sandwiches in Wellington unless they were actual sandwiches I'm zero zero interest. Wellingtonians would be going like, oh my God. And then he was finishing his set. This is when bars were open to like 7am. And he said

would you pick me up? And I said yes, I would. And then I was driving around, looping around Courtney Place for sandwiches and he just ghosted me. I'd stayed up all night and he ghosted me at like 6am and never responded until I saw him coming out

of sandwiches with another gal. This dude Jay. And that was the end of that. But I was so annoyed. I was like, I don't really care that you left but did you have to make me like drive around at 6am? Yeah, like at least say. But he just walked ghosted and you didn't hear from him.

Didn't hear from him. I did see him many years later in Lower Hutt and I looked at him and I thought, thank God. Yeah. Well, it's all those late nights till 6am. Oh, I couldn't have kept it. I would have been exhausted. Yeah.

Would have been tray fatigued. But we want to know. We want to know. We had DJ. Who's up all night? DJ. R it in his ears It's fine literally like four months later I met Aaron Anyway

We want to know when you got ghosted and you just can't believe it Like I got ghosted I've got high self esteem I've got high respect for myself And I got ghosted by a DJ at 6am Who did like not have his stuff together It was just like a bit of a mess And I got ghosted by a DJ at 6am. Who did not have his stuff together. It was just like a bit of a mess.

I was so embarrassed. I wouldn't even let him meet my parents. And yet he ghosted me. So give us a call. 0800 DALS at M. Text as well 9696. And tell us your stories about when you were ghosted. And you're just like, eh?

And bonus as well. It doesn't have to be like, yeah, a relationship or an ex. Family member. A fam? No, surely not a family member. What about a flatmate? If you just came home and you were like, where are they? And their room's empty and they're just gone.

Gone. And they're ghosted. They're just gone. Did they leave a bit of money for the power? Oh, maybe they did. Maybe they didn't. That's completely up to the storyteller. I would love to hear a flatmate ghosting. That would be amazing.

And best friends that have ghosted? We want to know from you this morning. When you got ghosted and you just can't believe it. Either you're like, by that person, or the circumstances were bizarre, or like, what? Where did that come from? Yeah. We'll get to some of your calls soon, but some messages in.

Or your mum. Um. What? My mum ghosted me for three months after I got my nose pierced. I was 23, but she just didn't talk to me for three months. Absolutely removed herself from my life. What? Get over it, mum. My boss has ghosted me and my apprentice

and not paid us for two weeks. We just can't get a hold of him. Oh, no. Oh, I didn't even think of that. Yeah. I've just been like, skiddly-dee. My own mother ghosted me when my little sister moved back home from Australia. I haven't heard from mum in over a month. Have you tried calling?

I don't know. Because, yeah, technically you're ghosting her too if you're not calling her. Yeah. A ghost works both ways and so does a phone. All right. Keep your texts, your calls coming through. We'll get to more of those next. We're talking ghosting. Yeah. A ghost works both ways, and so does a phone. All right, keep your texts, your calls coming through. We'll get to more of those next. We're talking ghosting.

Yeah, and when you got ghosted and you're like, you just cannot believe it. Like when I got ghosted by an embarrassing DJ at 6 a.m. in the morning. Rachel, who ghosted you? So we actually did have a flatmate ghost us. Oh, what happened? So we were just have a flatmate ghost us. Oh, what happened? So we were just, it was kind of

during, so I was at uni and it was kind of during summer, no, it wasn't even summer break, it was like spring break. Yeah. And we just, no one had heard from her in a while and we were like, oh, should we check on her? And they went into her room and all her stuff was gone.

What? How long had it been since the door had been closed and you guys just hadn check on her? And they went into her room and all her stuff was gone. What? How long had it been since the door had been closed and you guys just hadn't seen her? Like a week or so. Apparently she had told the landlord. She told the landlord, but just not the rest of the flatmates. What? I mean, I've listened to enough true crime podcasts to know

it only takes a day until you've got to start investigating. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, the first 48 hours are the most important person i mean we were in uni though so we were in uni so we just thought i don't know yeah so did you each individually pay the landlord rent yeah i guess oh yeah so it's kind of the bill yeah did she like owe you any money? He had to move someone else in. Oh, right. Okay. Eventually got somebody else in.

Interesting. Okay, Rachel, thanks. You called Christy. Who ghosted you that you just couldn't believe? It makes me laugh so much. I was on a Tinder date. Yeah. And super brave, you know, to go on a Tinder date and meet someone that doesn't live in your town.

Yeah. And so, you know, okay, cool, cool, cool meet someone that doesn't live in your town. And so, you know, okay, cool, cool, cool. We'll meet halfway. No worries. We're adults, you know. We're nearly 30. We're okay. Like, we're going to be safe. So we meet halfway. I pay for the accommodation. First red flag,

isn't it? I pay for the accommodation. We get there and he's great. He is who he says he is. We, like, hit it off. I'm just like, oh, my goodness. What have we done? Yes. What a story.

What a story for the grandkids. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Literally have the best night, wine, dinner, cooked our own dinner. That's a fair point. Cooked a yummy home-cooked meal, and then wake up in the morning and he's gone. What? You didn't even hear him leave.

No. Literally gone. and he's gone. What? You didn't even hear him leave? No, literally gone. His stuff's gone. After a lovely, romantic evening. As if I dreamt that it was happening, but it was real life. Was there smooching? Was there smooching? Yeah, absolutely. There was smooching.

And he left. And he never heard from me again. No, he probably had to get back before his wife woke up. Yeah, but he had to get back for the family. up. Yeah, bring him to get back for the family. Honestly, yeah, exactly. You know, he did have kids, so. Oh, okay. Oh my God.

So you've never seen him since? No. Did you message him? Did you message and say like, hey dude? Yeah, I was like, hey dude, like, have you gone for a walk on the beach? Or like, you know, like, where have you gone? And he 100% had a family, right? Playing at his head and not having kids.

Wife's at home. Christy thinks he calls the messages in. Anonymous, please read this text message. My boyfriend ghosted me by saying, I'm on my way, babe, and just never showed up. I was worried sick. Two months later, I still haven't heard a thing. Your boyfriend?

What if he's in a ditch? The first 48 hours is the most important. It's the most important. Yeah, it's the most important. If TV shows have taught us anything. That is exactly right. Oh, my God. I was living in Queensland with my best friend, and we had a spare room in the flat,

so I had an Australian couple move in. After racking up a $600 power bill, that's literally how much our power bill went up when they moved in, they just left one day while we were at work. Ghosted us completely, blocked on Facebook. The works, can't find them. That's smart.

When you're travelling, when you're backpacking around, you've got to do what you've got to do. Ruthless. That's smart. So you've got to rip people off, is that what you're saying? Yep. You've got to lean on people. My boyfriend of seven months texted me and dumped me

and then blocked me straight away, so I couldn't even get a response, and it was an absolute ghosting. Of seven months? You couldn't even convince him to stay. Yeah. Or he wouldn't hear it. No.

When I was a student at uni, I had a group project due in four weeks. One of the girls in our group was super lazy, useless, never turned up to group meetings and hadn't done anything

two days before the presentation was due. She hadn't done any work and she texted our group chat saying, by the way, I've moved to India. I did the whole of summer by myself in one

day and got an A. Nice. Put that on the CV. My aunt ghosted the entire family. That was 24 years ago and still nothing. Wow. Must have hated Christmas, eh? Family Christmas. How much do you hate Christmas? Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley

Play ZM So, Cow Watch is happening. If you heard the show yesterday, I've put a security camera up in the cow shed. I'm watching. I believe Hermione is on the precipice of... My cow, Hermione, is going to have a calf. The big fluffy cow with the horns.

Yeah. And how many people have invited themselves around to big fluffy cow with the horns. Yeah. Yeah. And how many people have invited themselves around to your house for the... Lots of people. The post-birth? Because I want to hold this cute little... Well, you'll have to ask Hermione.

We're not sure what sort of mother she's going to be yet. She might be a... Hopefully neglectful. Yeah. You know, so that we can cuddle up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you get to cuddle up, but I'm the one that has to, like, feed it.

Yeah. Multiple times a day and stuff. The little calf doesn't get their big horns for ages, eh? No, no, they grow their horns. Okay. I think we got them when they were, like, six months old, and their horns were, like, little. Nubs.

Yeah. So I am in contact with Alana. Now, Alana is, you may have seen. Alana Miles Alana is You may have seen Alana Miles Black Velvet Why does she have anything to do I guess What a reference

What a song A 90s song reference I gotcha I gotcha How That dude The minute you said Alana Miles I was immediately tickled

Here we go It's a great song So you're in contact How? Dude, the minute you said Alana Miles, I was immediately tickled. Here we go. It's a great song. So you're in touch with Alana Miles. I'm in touch with Alana Miles, who now has retired to the North Waikato, where she runs a miniature Highland Cattle farm. Alana in the moods. You can follow her on socials. Just living off the royalties of this song alone.

Of this song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a banger. Oh, wow. It's a banger. Yeah, yeah. She did well. And so that's where Hermione went to get in calf to Huey. Yeah.

Huey was the name of the bull. Yeah. Who's a real cute little bull. Lewis? Lewis in the news. Yes. Named after her travelling 80s, 90s rock and roll friend, Huey Lewis in the news. Right.

And so I'm consulting her regularly being like, this is where we're at. What do you think? Now you may have heard yesterday where there was mention of, and the coin cow gina was phrased. Yes. This is something that I learned

was that the cows, where the baby comes out of, where the calf comes out of the cow gina, puffs up. Yeah. Pre-birth, it's a sign that the chemicals in the calf comes out of, the cow gina puffs up. Yeah. Pre-birth, it's a sign that the chemicals in the body have started kick-starting in. A bit like when you peer through the oven and the eclairs have gone. They've over, yeah, they've over.

They're almost ready. But remember to let them cool. Yeah. Don't ice a warm eclair. It'll shrink back down. Yeah. So I have been sending her photos, being like, what do you think of this?

Teats coming in, maybe a bit more of an udder. Yeah. So I'm like, these are all signs. Taking photos of her puffy cowgina. So yes, and I said, before I sent the first one, I said, I'll trigger warning. I didn't know that this was a sign of pregnancy. And she said, oh my God, my phone is full of them.

I said, permission to send you a photo. And she's like, absolutely. So I sent her a photo of the puffy cow China. Yeah. This is on Messenger. It's a daily update. So she can be like, that's yesterday's, this is today's. Puffy, wrinklier, we're getting closer.

Baby cow could be any day. She's my expert. She's my go-to. So yesterday I sent her a picture of the cow trainer. And then Sade messaged me saying how she was out. She's like, how's Hermione looking? And I just went into that message that I had sent Alana. Yeah.

Alana Miles, Black Velvet. And I forwarded. I just clicked forward and then selected shot A. Yeah. Sent it. Of the cow trainer. Then I got another notification, so I went and opened Facebook Messenger again, and it had logged me out.

Oh, goodness. I was like, well, this is unusual, but it's not the first time it's happened. How inconvenient. Yeah. Log in as Vaughn. Face scan. Yeah. Opens.

Says, you've been sharing explicit images. Our AI effectively has discovered, has worked out you've been sending explicit images. And I'm like oh my god, I have. It was like have you been sending images?

Do you have the permission to share this image? And I'm like, well, I didn't ask the cow. I was consulting someone, an expert in the area. Are there any similarities to the cow, Gina? There is. From my experience, very little. There's a split up the middle, and that's about it.

Because I wondered if it was like If it was like They thought you'd put human Genitals on there Perhaps Yeah I don't know maybe it was the Combination photo of the teats Which have a sort of a

Phallic Weird appearance But so then I'm like oh my god And I'm immediately like What so then I'm like Oh my god And I I'm immediately like How What So then it says You must follow this procedure

So I was like Okay Yes Mr Zuckerberg sir Yes I'm not a pest sir I'm not a pest sir So you had to run the gauntlet Of the meta pest challenge

Yeah So then I had to like Click in And it was like This is what can happen If you send unsolicited images You got told off I know I got a real telling off And it was like You've is what can happen if you send unsolicited images. You got told off. I know I got a real telling off and it was like,

you've got to say you understand this. Yeah. But there was no option to be like, no, no, no, no, you've misunderstood. Oh, yeah. It wasn't what you said it was. I just had to just be like, I won't do it again. Wow. And then click yes, yes, and then it logged me back into Messenger

and I've got this little mark now. Wow. So you're Facebook Messenger, cow puffy bits you can't send, racist stuff, untruths, anti-vax propaganda. You can. All of that. Good to know. Good to know. Good to know, but you can't ask 90s rock legend Alana Miles on a Black Velvet phone if that indicates to her

that we're any closer to carbon. Right. Okay. Well, keep us updated. And maybe you'll just have to talk to your cow lady and just describe it next time. I don't want to. Phone call.

Ring, ring. The photo is one thing. Are you ready for a description? You're going to have to go down to Warehouse Stationery. Print it out. Email it to them, print it out, and then drop it off to Lana. I think you're going to be banned from Warehouse Stationery if you try to print that out, to be honest.

Well, everyone's always looking for the answer to a hangover The best cure, a quick fix You know, you can take little things Before you go to sleep Do you have any of those friends who are like I don't get hangovers I've got one friend but he's actually been dying He's got too much oxygen in his blood And for some reason he doesn't get a hangover

How much does he have? I don't know. Is he an extreme athlete? No. Feels like he should be using that power for some kind of... Yeah, what does he do? Extreme athletics. He's a journalist.

He's a writer. Great in a war zone. You'd be good in a war zone. Great in a war zone, running with a flak jacket on. He sort of writes more fun, light things than war pieces. Get the man running. Yeah. But, you know, like a lot of celebrities do the IV drip.

Yeah, yeah. The next day, get a little saline in you. I think nurses do that as well, just on break. Yeah, they do. You just hook up an IV. Sometimes while they're also sleeping with the doctor in the supplies cupboard. All at once. All at once.

Hello, doctor. I don't know why I did it like the woman from Austin Powers. Dr. Well, now we have advice and this could be it. This could be the answer to our prayers for a better hangover cure. It is from a psychic. Three things I do before drinking alcohol as a psychic medium. Alcohol loosens your energetic boundaries, opens your crown chakra,

making you more susceptible to negative entities. This is why sometimes people act like a totally different person when they drink or feel like something took them over. I don't drink often, but when I do, I do these three things first. One, protect myself and my crown by placing a protective shield or rose around my aura.

Two, ground the drink and clear out anyone else's energy and any negative energy. Three, set the intention for drinking. Two, ground the drink and clear out anyone else's energy and any negative energy. Three, set the intention for drinking and send it into the drink while stirring three times to the left. And most of all,

remember to enjoy yourself. There you go. So just to break that down again. I am livid. What you're wanting to do is you've got to protect the crown

and so you've got to put a rose or something around your aura. See, that's where I've been going wrong all these years. Have you not been putting a crown around your aura? I used to put my aura all sorts of places when I was drinking. Back in the day, you know, back in my early 20s. Back in the Hamilton days.

You simply have to put a protective shield or rose around your aura. You simply have to. How do I put a rose around my aura? The thorns. Google it. The thorns. Google it. Just some petals?

Yeah. Also, she says you've got to ground your drink. You've got to ground your drink to clear out negative energy. What if you're in a rooftop bar? Would a pot, would a pot, would a plant work? No, no, no, no. To ground your drink, you simply visualize a grounding cord growing out from the bottom of your drink. So say you're rocking a martini.

Okay, so hang on, you're a rooftop bar with a martini. So I'm in a beautiful rooftop bar and martini enjoying the sunset. But I just, I put my crown on on my aura and then I imagine a little a cord growing out from the bottom of my

martini all the way to the core of the earth. Jesus, I'm in a 28 story building. How long is it going to take? I don't know if it's going to translate all the way to a rooftop bar. You might have to be more of a seaside. Can it go through concrete or does it

have to find a weakness? I don't know. I don't know about its ability. From then of course she brings three gold suns, a psychic tool, through the top of the drink and out through the grounding cord this is all in her mind

right her psychic mind okay three psychic suns yeah as in as in males that you've birthed or suns as in stars

made of hydrogen suns and moons okay so planetary three psychic suns yeah and then the energy healers.

I'm going to need to write a shopping list, I think. I know, it's a bit complicated. Are you taking this seriously? Before taking this seriously. Can you take me seriously? Please, somebody said to comply with New Zealand's safety standards, please make sure your ground cable is green and yellow to avoid confusion. Yeah, that's good.

Thank you very much. We don't want a trimming hazard. That's what I need. This is all important stuff. Write that on your list. Green and yellow ground cable. We're going to use this on hazard. That's what I mean. This is all important stuff. This is important. Write that on your list. Green and yellow. We're going to use this on Friday because the six of us

were going out on Friday together. So we want to be grounding our drinks. The last one is to send intention into the drink. Sorry, just on the shopping list, put it maybe a hard hat and we'll glue the roses onto the hard hat. To avoid it. What about more?

But then we're going to have hot heads. What about more of like a headband? A headband with roses. Thorned roses. Or like, you know, like a sweatband. We're at a premium this time of year because we're going to have hot heads. What about more of like a headband? A headband with roses. Two-thorned roses. Or like a sweatband. We're at a premium this time of year though because we're coming out of winter. Oh, God. A sweatband with...

What if we got a hat and just stuck some Cadbury roses to it because then we'll have someone to eat later on. A rose is a rose. A rose is a rose. And the Uber, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do that. Okay, great.

What ones do you... What roses do you guys want? Because at the Pick and Mix you can pick your own roses. Turkish Delight. Okay. And Crunchies and... Yeah, but you're going to have to make sure there's enough because the girls at the producer's booth are also Turkish Delight.

Get a boost for Karwin. No, that's a favourite, not a rose. She's my boost. That's a favourite. We're not sticking favourites to our head. Are you listening to the psychic medium? It's roses. Would you please take this seriously?

I'm going to J.A. Russell on the way home. Everybody, an extremely long earthing cord. Put a peppermint down. Peppermint. Are you going peppermint? They don't want peppermint. It's a lovely rose. So we're going turkey delight for the gals.

But Turkish delight isn't a roses, is it? Jared, what roses do you have? They do the G, yeah. Yeah, right. Okay. Jared, what rose do you want? What? Hard. He wants chocolate. He just wants plain yeah. Yeah, right, okay. Jared, what rose do you want? What? Hard.

He wants chocolate. He just wants plain chocolate. Chocolate all the way through. What about a truffle? What about one of those truffles? You'll go truffle. Those are the ones I'm going to pick up. You're going peppermint.

Roses. Okay, then we're going to send our intention into the drink. Three suns. Three suns. Any particulars you guys are on? I'm a bit of an Alpha Centauri man myself. I reckon we'll just go like the classic. Yeah. Sun. Sun. That's its name. reckon we'll just go like the classic. Sun.

Sun. That's its name. I don't know any other suns. Who was the sun? Maui. Maui and the sun. We'll take that sun as well. But that's the same sun. So I think it's the same sun. Oh, look up the closest. We're getting a hangover, aren't we? That's a bad attitude.

Closest. What's the third? I'm just going to go closest stars to Earth. Alpha Centauri. Alpha Centauri A and B. Okay. Is everybody all right with an A and a B? A and a B, yeah. I wouldn't have gone there, but it's okay.

Alpha Centauri A, Alpha Centauri B. Okay. The third step is we've got our drinks in hand, right? We've corded them. Yep. Green and yellow cord. We've got the suns. If you've just joined us, this is how to avoid a hangover according to a psychic medium.

Yeah. And can you, we're just, we're trying to take it seriously here. We've got joined us. This is how to avoid a hangover according to a psychic medium. Yeah, and can you, we're just, we're trying to take it seriously here. We've got a big night on Friday. So then we,

so we've got our drinks and then we, before we take a sip. Yep. But where do we cheers? She hasn't said that. So I reckon. She's not distinctly

telling us where to cheers. Maybe we avoid the cheers. That could disrupt the cosmic sun. Yeah, but it's going to be hard to cheers everybody with their cables hanging off

their drinks. So guilt-tangled. No, the cables, that's why I'm going to be Hard to cheers everybody With their cables Hanging off their drinks So get all tangled No those cables That's why I'm going to J.R. Russell So much cable Because I'm next to you We're not tangled

But when I go across the table Say to Vaughan We're going to get tangled Because then Jared's Coming across to you Everybody watch your cords Because obviously Tangled cords

Not going to help So when we cheers And then we set the intention For drinking And send it into the drink The intention's to get drunk Isn't it really Yeah Set the intention Send it into the drink. The intention's to get drunk, isn't it? Yeah. Set the intention, send it into the drink

while stirring three times to the left. Right. And then does that go down the cable? The hangover leaves and goes down the cable to the middle of the earth. Yeah, because the stirring counterclockwise banishes anything that's not connected to the intention. Any sort of preference on stirring situations?

Because the bar might be like anti-plastic, so I might not be using twizzle sticks or straws. You can't stir with a twizzle stick. It hardly gets a stir. You just have to put your finger in. Gold spoons for a king? Yeah, put gold spoons for a king. Six gold spoons.

Well, there you go. Anyway, she swears by it. Six golden spoons! She swears by it, and we will all be trying this on Friday. Fantastic. Well, hangoverars by it. Sage Golden Sports. She swears by it. Yeah. And we will all be trying this on Friday. Okay. Fantastic. Well, hangover free weekend. You're welcome, New Zealand, for those tips.

You are welcome. I'm drinking petrol. I don't see how well this works. Play. Zidim's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the Royal Stamp Collection. We're hearing a lot about the royals and things that are changing hands and stuff.

Since the Queen passed, William and Kate apparently overnight billionaires. Yeah. Because of the land that came with their new titles or something. Wild. But I didn't know this. The art of stamp collection and stamp studying to have a collection is called a philatelic collection. Philatelic. What a beautiful word. Philatelic, what a beautiful word.

Philatelic. The Royal Philatelic Collection is a postage stamp collection by the British Royal Family. It is the most comprehensive collection of stamps of the United Kingdom and the British Commonwealth. Is it because, like, for a long time, a lot of stamps had the Queen's head on them? Yeah, Royal Philatelic.

The state's right back though, well before, well before Queen Elizabeth II took the reins. Would they get a copy of every one that had the Queen's head on it maybe? Yeah, pretty get sent in. So one of the ones they're missing is the 1850 British Guana two-cent pink cotton reel stamp. Cotton reel? It's missing from their collection of British Imperial stamps. Who's got that? Somebody else has got one, but they won't give it to them.

Wow. Oh, my God. And they won't. Power play. I want it. Have a guess in 2020 at what the collection was valued at due to the stamps in it when a stamp collector, the Daily Telegraph apparently employed a...

A billion. You think a billion dollars? You've overshot the mark. You've absolutely overshot the mark. But for a collection of stamps. $30 million. £100 million. You didn't give me another guess.

A hundred and a half. $200,000 New Zealand dollars. You don't get it. Now, yeah, so it's been, this is the history of it. The management of the collection was kept at Buckingham Palace until it was moved to St. James Palace. In 1952, a catalogue of it was published, and everyone was like, ooh la la.

And you could buy it in a leather-bound edition or a regular cloth-bound edition of sort of photocopies of the stamps. It has since been moved back to Buckingham Palace is where it currently is. And it's been kept under lock and key since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. It hasn't been out. Right.

It hasn't been out for a look. Yeah. So it's just been passed around the royals. And now I guess if it's back in Buckingham, it's probably the King Charles III's. You reckon on that rare occasion you need to post something, you know, when you need to post something, And now I guess if it's back in Buckingham, it's probably the Kings. King Charles III. You reckon on that rare occasion you need to post something, you know when you need to post something, you're like,

I haven't done this forever. And then you find out stamps are like $4. $4. And you're like, well, I'll just grab a couple of these from the collection. Grab that 1850 British Gowanus. Slap it on. Pink cotton real stamp. Jeepers. Get one of those happening.

So today's fact of the day is they've got a lot of wealth, a lot of treasures, and the Royal Stamp Collection is worth 100 million pounds. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, She had this wee happening on TikTok. She was going up an escalator. She thought she'd pop out to the shops, you know, probably a supermarket and a mall.

And then she was like, I've got to go upstairs, jumped on the escalator. And she had a lot of things in her hands because she forgot her bag. So she had all of like, you know, some groceries and whatnot. She was going down the escalator and she didn't know that her trousers had become stuck in the escalator. And as she fell forward, off they came. The escalator basically ate them up. Off they came.

So she was literally in an absolute compromised state. And groceries everywhere. Groceries everywhere. Should have paid the 20 cents for the paper bag, even though I hate doing that because I've got my bag. Yeah. She was literally on the floor with her, like her pants are down by her ankles.

And she, they're stuck. And they're still like pulling them off slowly but surely. And people just walk over her. Because we've done this before. I press the stop button on the escalator. Remember, it was my dream come true. Yeah, you got to kick it. I had to push the stop button.

Did you? Somebody could have done that. You became stuck in those little claws. Well, that's the thing is you've got to do that, but also don't do it because if it stops, suddenly people can fall forward, and those things are like just falling on a bloody cheese crater. Yeah, they are.

I know. Anyway, it's very funny. She's bum out. Anything when you're in public, it's very funny. She's bum out. Anything when you're in public and your bum comes out. She's got undies on, obviously. So it's not terrible. But we wanted to ask the question this morning. Is anybody listening now had a run in with an escalator?

Because you know those signs at the start of escalators are always like, no jandals? And you're like, why? Because they can easily slip off and then get caught. Get caught and then you're jammed in. Do you remember there was that video of that woman who was going up the escalator and then it fell through and she like chucked her kid?

Yes. The whole escalator fell through. Yeah, like the top step like collapsed. You know with the landing platforms? Where did she throw her kid? To safety, I hope. Not into the jaws of the machine. No, to safety.

She didn't make it. She fell through. She fell into the kid to safety, I hope. Not into the jaws of the machine. No, to safety. She didn't make it. She fell into the device. Oh my God. Maybe not that drama. No. But 0800 dials at M. We'd love to take your calls this morning. You can text as well. 9696. Have you had a bloody run-in with an escalator? Yeah, how bad was it?

Maybe it pulled your pants off. Like this lady. What about the travelators with the ones that you can take the supermarket trolleys on and you get to the top and your wheels are going to be lined up to disengage your stops

and you're like, please. We are desperate to know your escalator injuries, your escalator run-ins. A woman on TikTok, she got her pants cordoned and off they came.

They pulled right down. Lauren, what happened? What escalator run-ins, a woman on TikTok, she got her pants cordoned and off they came. They pulled right down. Lauren, what happened? What was your run-in with an escalator? It was summertime when I was a teenager and I was wearing jandals going down the escalator. Yeah. This is on you. Yeah, yeah.

Rookie mistake. Haven't done it since. Been like 10 years. But it was a pretty dodgy escalator. It's since been replaced. But anyway, my jandle got stuck at the bottom of the escalator. And the escalator actually started, like, pulling my jandle in. Oh.

Yeah. And someone had to, like, I just kind of panicked. And luckily someone, unlike the lady with the dress or pants, someone actually helped. But it sliced up the back of my foot. So it was taken to the medical centre across the road. Because what gets stuck? Is the foam in the jandal not strong enough so that just gets sucked in?

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I think that it was really soft so that they just compressed really easily. So they weren't really... It must have to get the tip, eh? Because I've put on the, like, bit on the top before and it's never felt like it's grabbed it. Yeah, but you're rocking Birkenstocks now. You're a bit posh now.

Good luck coming to me. It doesn't sound like Lauren was wearing a Haviana. Like, yeah, it does sound like the softer it is. Or, you know, when they wear down, they're probably scared. That's probably right for a sucking in. For a sucking. Yeah. Lauren, thanks for sharing. Some messages in. My friend was holding a cardigan

too long and got stuck. It jammed the entire thing. They had to get a guy out to fix it. Her poor cardigan died a horrific death. Yeah. R.I.P. Cardi. My daughter, when she was three, fell over at the Auckland airport on the escalator and her hair got stuck. Oh no! She has a scar on her face and her hair got stuck. Oh, no.

She has a scar on her face now from where it pulled. She's 11 now and still. Oh, my God. Could be put... Oh, that's horrid. Funny story got us onto this about the lady's pants falling down. None of the stories coming in are like, funny, ha-ha, someone saw your bum. That's all like horrific.

You almost got eaten by a machine sort of thing. Keep your stories coming in if you've had a run-in with the escalators. Hi, ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Talking about your run-ins on the escalators. Michelle, what happened? Hi, so my partner and I were living in London and we'd been at a festival all day. So we were pretty happy by the end of it.

And we had to catch the tube home, and it happened to be the Hyde Park tube, which has one of the longest escalators. Oh, yes. And my partner decided to slide down the hand rest of it. Is this the famous one that you see people sliding down the middle of the up and the downs? Yes. They put the bumps on the middle so you can't do that.

Yeah, well, they didn't then. And it was packed full, so lots of people were on it. And the safety thing makes the escalator stop really suddenly. So everyone that was on the escalator tumbled down

because they were probably quite drunk as well. And so I grabbed my partner, and he was also wearing jandals, and they had fallen off. Grabbed my partner, and he ran down the escalator, and we jumped on the tube because police were coming. And so anyway, we made it home, and the next day my partner had a Foo Fighters concert, and he had to put amatory pads in his shoes

because his feet were raw and just bleeding. Oh! So you ran away? That's so funny. That is so funny. Yeah, well, he would have gotten in a lot of trouble, so it was kind of payback for him because he's such an idiot. You have kids with this guy?

I do. I've got three boys. Oh, you have got three of them. Oh, no. Punishment. Also, I love that Vaughn says that like he was never an absolute mongrel OTP. 100%.

See? Something that Vaughn Smith would have done for sure. Hey, thanks for your call, Michelle. Rebecca, when did you have a run-in with an escalator? Well, actually it was my dad that did when he was a kid. They kind of used to sit down on the escalators

and had his hand behind him and then they were going yeah, up the top his hand got caught in the grid at the time. Yeah. What happened? He was very close to losing. And just what? Minced his fingers. What happened?

Oh, he was very close to losing quite a few of his fingers, I was told. And he's got a good scar and a chauffeur going across, like, I think it goes across from his middle finger down his palm and that. And it's quite tight for him to, like, fully open his hand properly. Why is he lucky? But, yeah, I think back then they used to be a little bit more scary, but I tell you what, I was very terrified of them growing up as a kid

and that story always got pulled out if I was misbehaved. I know, I always remember as a kid, you get to the top and you'd be like, I've got to be so, I've got to jump, I've got to time this to perfection. Yeah, and your parents would always be like,

ready? Yeah. Ready? Yeah. Rebecca, thanks. You call some messages in to finish off. Try to go for some less gory ones. Oh, we just finished telling a kid in our family not to hold on to the guardrails because they're dirty.

Oh, yeah. So they rolled their sleeve over their hand. Oh, yeah. And were standing at the end, just not yet going up the escalator, just standing at the end, holding it with their sleeve, and all of a sudden their sleeve got caught under the hand thing. Why did we do this? Why did we do this?

Why did we do this? Why did we get these calls? Why did we get these calls? And instead of pulling them up, and they're a little kid and they're just hanging there, and the escalator's going up, and they're like, if he hits the top, he can't fit through that gap. It's like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

He's going up. We're going up, Charlie. So someone ran up and just yanked the sleeve out, but then too much much and he fell, but there were people below that caught him. Wow. Lucky. I regret this so much.

Lucky. A friend of mine has kids with her ex. The new partner absolutely hated my friend and was vile to her. On this other woman's wedding day, she was at the mall to get her nails done, trips at the top of the escalator, falls down the entire thing,

banged her whole face up on the wedding day and landed at the feet of my friend who she'd been nothing but horrible to the entire time. I just looked at her and was like, oh dear. Have a good day. Isn't it your wedding day? Hello, Soundkeeper Georgia here. So I've actually banned producer Jared from playing the Secret Sound guesses

from the show in the Fletch, Fawn and Hayley podcast. Instead, you need to listen to our Secret Sound podcast to get it, where you can text SECRET9696 and you'll get a link directly to the podcast. Or you can just follow our socials, Secret Sound everywhere. All right. Toodles. Great work, guys. 10 out of 10 if I say so myself.

I'll do a 9.6. Is that enough for you to review this podcast with a high rating and then tell all your friends? You sound very insincere.