ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 14th June 2022

Episode Date: June 14, 2022

Sentient AI  Top 6: Weed Crops  Silly Little Poll!  Paddy Gower!  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. We've been doing all this late night talking. Hello, welcome to the Fleach, Fawn and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, grab a rich, smooth, barista-made coffee. And speaking of coffee, Georgia joins us. Georgia, have you been helping yourself to my instant coffee? I've upgraded. I don't know.

This is classic Fletch. He takes his own stuff and then assumes he's been stolen from. He's like an old man. I did used to steal from you. No, because this is not an unfounded claim. It's just that today I went to make my coffee and there wasn't much left. And I'm like, I'm sure I only refilled this recently. It's a sign that you

just go buy them. We've got a barista for a reason. Is that your upgrade? Yeah, that's my upgrade. Did the Makona not have enough for you? Yeah, there's no

Makona has to be mmm. Right. Because of the milky part, I can't froth that myself at work. Well, I would love to just pump out during the show

but we only have two minutes otherwise I would go to McCafe and grab a rich, smooth barista made coffee but because of time limits I just make an instant i wish i did steal that from you though would have been a bit fun well it's too late it's nothing to steal it's empty it's living here do we need to put a um one of those little cams yeah i'm thinking about putting like one of those

you know those camouflage hunting cameras yeah trail cam there yeah yeah yeah i reckon fill it up and poison it and then whoever takes it will die. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's gone a little too far for that. I'm thinking, what was that white powder that kept popping up after September 11th? Anthrax. Anthrax! Anthrax!

Yes! People put it in envelopes. Yes, people were opening, and powder would spill out, and everyone assumed it was anthrax. It was talcum powder from Nan. You might grab the label maker. What I might do is pluck a hair and put it over the seal and then see if it's there tomorrow.

That's how you can tell when you're a spy and you get back to your room if someone's been in your room. Yeah, I do that at hotel rooms all the time. Oh, you do? Yeah. He's got no hair on his head. He plucks a pubes. Yeah.

It's a long curly. You pluck a pubes? I just do that. That's why he keeps his pubes long and curly. Because you don't know if they've planted a bug in your room. I just thought, for a second, I just thought you might know a heavy name. Cubs. Oh, he's a big fan.

He's leading the charge. I'm bringing him back to the bush. I couldn't imagine them being curly. I'm bringing him back to the bush. Can you imagine that his pubes are not gone because he doesn't have hair on his head or because he trims them off? Well, they're in the laser talk. I just thought that it'll be gone. He doesn't have alopecia.

You both. You women don't understand what it's like to go to a urinal and see a curly pube in the urinal. I was going to say, I bet there is. I bet they do. The pubes are all in the bathroom. The pubes are all over the toilet seat. Yuck. Some girls don't get rid of them.

Yeah, I know, but they don't. I just feel like the urinal's different. They're always in the urinal. But how are they? Because girls sit down, which means there's contact. So it kind of makes sense that a pube would fall off when they're in the anus area. No, it's because of the rough removal.

They're pulling out of the penis. They've got to dig out the dick. They're fling out. Why are you grabbing your dick so rough? If there's a couple of loose ones. You need to relax or you take the you undo

just take five the top of the pan and open it right up any loose pubes that have been lost in transit fall into the bowl they dig out the dick

Jesus they grab pubes with them just a handful well they need to do some serious trimming yeah man they're grabbing

handfuls of pubes tons of pubes some people have coarse pubes away my god and long i'm gonna say nothing about color there's no there's no there's no you wouldn't spot a light colored one in the urinal i think no yeah definitely always the camouflages yeah do people have white colored pubes go grey? I assume so. Do they? On ladies quite early. Hmm.

Self-admission there. Oh, grey pubes. Sprout. Well, we've all learnt something. I feel like we're wiser and, you know, we're closer. Fantastic. Enjoy the show. Why did you just say, uh-oh, and then look under the desk?

I had to change the profile on the desk. Yeah, I thought it was very quiet. I was like, what's going on here? Yeah, I don't know why, but our headphone levels are higher than Brian Klunt's. Because you're deaf. Yeah, probably that. Klunt's pretty. I'm deaf, though.

Klunt's as deaf as me because he's a DJ. He's a DJ and a DJ. Yes. He's a DJ by day and by night. And by evening. He's got a MacBook. And a MacBook. He's got a MacBook.

Primes presses Spacebar. That's pretty good. Yeah. I can do that. I've got Spotify. You could be a DJ. Oh, sweet. You've just got to put up with requests from drunk women.

And abuse from drunk men. Yeah. God, why would anybody do it? Coming up on the show today. Speaking of drunk men. Patty Gower. Oh yeah. Patty Gower joins us this morning. That was a gorgeous segue. That was a brilliant segue.

It was so good you didn't even know what was happening. Yeah, well, Paddy Gower on booze is on TV3 tonight. He's looked at meth, he's looked at weed, and tonight he's looking at New Zealand's favourite poison, booze. Ian, it kind of takes a turn, this documentary, and you've got to see the... I've got a little screener. You've got a little screener.

It kind of... The focus turns on him and his drinking. Hell yeah. It's totally unlike the others, to be fair. And I get the impression it wasn't supposed to go that way. Yeah. All right, well, he's in after seven. We'll talk to him about that ahead of his documentary tonight.

Good chance for you to win more free fuel. Today I've been giving away so much free fuel. Why do you tell me about all these chia seeds in my tea? What? I couldn't see them. Actually, I did see one and I was going to tell you after this. Oh, good. Yeah, I've got it, I've got it.

Free fuel at 8 o'clock with our retro petrol time machine. Speaking of seeds, the top six, we're dealing with, I'm segwaying left, right and centre. Oh my God. Great seeds. Just try to keep up. The top six is going to deal with the millions of dollars that police spent spraying weed crops.

Seems like a waste of money, eh? Fighting a tsunami with a tea towel. And why do we keep doing it? Nobody's fighting a tsunami with a tea towel. I don't think it's a sign. Whipping the tsunami with a tea towel. It should be. It should be.

It's a pretty good sign. Fighting the floodwaters with a tea towel. It should be. It should be. It's pretty good. That's a pretty good saying. Fighting the floodwaters with a tea towel. The rising tide with a tea towel. Yeah, that's it. That's it. I'm settling on that. It's like fighting the rising tide with a tea towel. That doesn't work either.

No, it does. It doesn't? I've got to mop it up quickly. Yeah, the rising tide because it's slowly happening. You think you can take care of it, but it's just... Yeah, okay. No fighting the tide or the moonlight, and the moon causes the tide. So Leanne Rimes foresaw all of this.

But I've got the top six ways to get rid of all of that pesky weed. Yeah. All right. It's coming up on the show next, though. We're in trouble, aren't we? Yeah, they've done it. They've gone and done it. Artificial intelligence may have become sentient under our very nose.

Now, sentient means... Why did we do this? What does sentient mean? It's able to comprehend. Self-functioning. our very nose. Now, sentient means... Why did we do this? What does sentient mean? Like, it's self-functioning. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. We knew this day was coming, right?

Yep. I mean, I thought we were at least going to get through the pandemic. They're going to hit us while we're weak. They're going to hit us while we've got post-COVID fatigue. Google's AI is sentient. This is what this guy said. This engineer has come out and said it. Blake Limone is his name.

He has since been put on paid administrative leave by the head of Google and said, no, it doesn't. And he's like, yes, it does. This has all the, like, building blocks of an episode of Black Mirror. Yeah, this is the start of a really bad, horrible movie. Yeah. Where someone's kind of blowing a whistle, I guess. So there's a few Google engineers apparently who have spoken out anonymously,

but this guy was willing to put his name to it, that he thinks there's what he is describing as a ghost in the system. Hey. He was, as part of his job, that he thinks there's a, what he is describing as a ghost in the system. Oh. He was, as part of his job, he was sat down to talk to Lambda, language model for dialogue applications. Google system for building chatbots. You know, when you go on a website and it's like,

Hey, can we help? And you start talking to it and you're like, wait, is this a robot or a real person? And it's a chatbot, but they're like insanely instinctive. Yeah. So he believes it's become sentient. So I've Googled the definition of sentient, able to perceive or feel things. Yeah.

Human. Human. Basically conscious. This Lemoyne dude studied cognitive and computer science and he sat down and began talking to it to see if, in this test, if the artificial intelligence used discriminatory or hate speech. Oh, yeah. So he started talking to it.

And in one exchange, it started talking about its rights and personhood, that is AI. Okay. And in another exchange, the AI was able to change Blake's mind about Isaac Asimov's third law of robotics. Isaac Asimov's third law of robotics is a robot must protect its own existence

as long as such protection does not conflict with the first or second law. What is the first or second law? First law, a robot may not injure a human being or through inaction allow a human to come to harm. Yep. The second one is a robot must obey orders given to it by humans

except where such orders would conflict with the first law. And the third law is protect its own existence as long as it doesn't conflict with the first or second law. This is the start of everything. Every robot movie. Yep. Every robot movie. So. Every robot movie. So he reported it and then was put on paid administrative leave.

And he was like, well, that sucks. I'm going to go public with my findings. But, of course, he hasn't got any proof of his findings because it's all locked down under Google. I mean, this isn't surprising, is it? No. Did you see, I think I read an article yesterday about, I think I read an article yesterday, I'm tired, about they'd put an eardrum of an animal into a robot

so that it can hear. Don't go putting living- Don't give it human bits. Don't give it animal bits. Don't give it animal bits. Yeah. So it'll be able to hear. That's like Frankenstein.

Well, Frankenstein was just made up of all these bits that Dr. Frankenstein, Frankenstein's monster, was made up of all the bits that Dr. Frankenstein just harvested from strong bits. How long before they break their rules and they kill us all? I know, because we as humans, we've got rules and we break them all the time. Yeah, and it talked to him over text and convinced him that the third one shouldn't exist. Yeah, look, look.

Robot capable of hearing after locust's ear transplanted inside a machine. Do locusts have good ears? Like in the scheme of the animal kingdom? Are they like cicadas? They're pretty deaf in themselves. They were looking into whether or not we can make robots hear the way that we hear because hearing can be easily compared to existing technologies because they can hear us. Alexa hears us.

Siri hears us. I was just thinking, though, if it goes the way of the Matrix, you know when they're not Neo and Morpheus? I've only seen the first one. Okay, but you will have seen this. I've only seen the first Matrix. What's wrong with you? You know where they're in the float tank of goo?

Yes. It looks okay. The amniotic sac. It looks okay to me. Yeah, right. It looks okay to me. It looks relaxing. So you want to be in the tank of goo?

I'll try out the tank of goo for the rest of your life. Are you going into the Matrix? If I don't know. No. Look, if I don't know, if I'm in the tank of goo, I'm nice and relaxed and my program's enjoying some stuff in there. Give it a blast. This is all very deep, isn't it?

Yeah. For this early time of the morning. Yeah. This whole robot. I have taken mushrooms. Taking us over. Look at you. Yeah, I had mushrooms for breakfast.

A little omelette. No, just a tea. I'm just trying out this microdosing thing. Right. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I'm just trying out this microdosing thing Right To nobody's surprise Netflix has officially announced That Squid Game Season 2 Will be back

Was it a good show was it? Are you the only person In the world not to have known? No I absolutely devoured that show We all did so I think the latest I tried to look up the latest stats on Squid Game. Because it was

breaking records, eh? Oh, it was huge. The only, I don't have any latest stats, but at the end of last year, it had been watched

by more than two point, it had been viewed 2.1 billion hours. Which is the equivalent of 239,000 years. So the world collectively wasted 2.1 billion hours. Not wasted, enjoyed.

So their biggest show by far. So would there be a season two? Of course, of course there would be. Yes, but I think the only thing was that the creators were like, I don't know. Because it took them 12 years to write that, to get it picked up, and to

make it. And then the ending of season one, which I won't say, because if for some reason you haven't watched it, you have to. But the ending of season one was such a reveal. Yeah, left it open, didn't it, as well? Yeah, and you're like, I don't know, where do they go with it, now that we know what we know?

Well, they haven't released a date, but Netflix put up a video of the creepy doll blinking with a number two in its eye. There was a creepy doll cosplay at Armageddon. The red light, green light doll? Yeah, yeah. Because that doll's terrifying in the show. Yeah.

But this person dresses as a doll No no no it wasn't sexed up But good call Because it was Armageddon A high chance Someone was leading it around By the hand Because it was obviously

They couldn't see very well In this doll thing So it took a whole lot away From the scariness of this doll And the fact that it needed to have It's hand held and walked around Did it have this Lost door of the explorer

Did it have a sound When it like moved and stuff Oh no It probably did a lost door of the explorer. Did it have a sound when it moved and stuff? Oh, no. It probably did have its eyes opened and closed. It was a really intense costume. Well, the director of Squid Game, the creator, posted as well, saying it took 12 years to bring the first season of Squid Game to life last year, but it took 12 days for Squid Game

to become the most popular Netflix series ever. Shout out to fans around the world. He said, and now Ji-Han returns. The front man returns. Season two is coming. The man with the suit might be back. I think he's got to be back. He was great, wasn't he?

Absolutely. Mysterious, like, subway guy recruiting everybody. Yeah. You'll also be introduced to Young Hee's boyfriend and join us once more for a whole new round. So, yeah, it'll be back, but when? I kind of almost forgot about that whole fetish side of it. You know, the viewers with their animal costumes. Oh, that's right.

The really rich guys betting on it and stuff. Yeah, they're all sexy. They're all having sexy fun times together. They're all being gluttonous and like... Gluttonous, that's the word. Very Roman with the vomitorium. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. From the self-driving ZM Think Tank,

this is The Top Six. Hi there. I honestly, until I read the story, thought they'd stopped doing this. I thought that the police had stopped spraying, like using helicopters to... I thought so too. And then find weed crops

and then spray it. But a request to the Official Information Act reveals that $2.6 million was spent on aerial spraying nationally over the past five years. How much helicopter time does that get you? Probably not as much as you think. No.

No. And you've got to bloody buy some KiwiCare. The red one. The red spray. Right. Don't waste your time with that green stuff. The weeds will be growing back in no time. So, yeah, the spraying of weed crops is still happening.

Huh. I thought years ago this stopped. Well, considering the last, what, the referendum, it was nearly half of Kiwis wanted it. Totally. Yeah, and once mum, you know, has a go at it, and it is an effect of pain relief, she'll probably change her vote too.

So I've got the top six ways to get rid of those weed crops. Okay. Spraying them is not working. Number six, salt them. Salt them. Salt the earth. You know those big buckets they use to pick up? Yep. Monsoon buckets. Monsoon buckets. Yeah. And then just park it over them and release the hounds. Right. But they're still going to pay for the

salt and the helicopters. Yeah, that's a quick dump. Are they going iodised table or Himalayan pink? I think they were just going to go... No, because if you go Himalayan pink, you'd need to have a grinder on the end of the line soon. I was just going to get salt water. It was over there.

You say when. Expensive way to do it too. Yeah, it would be. Probably go some iodized table soap too. Good for the thyroid. Really good. Number five on the list of the top six ways to get rid of the weed crops. Burn them.

Marijuana crops hidden deep in tinder dry summer bush. Burn it. What could possibly go wrong? You're probably going to need that monsoon bucket we mentioned in number six as well. Yeah.

Just to fly that in and get it done. Number four on the list of the top six ways to get rid of the weed crops. An army of caterpillars. Oh, okay. They'll eat it up. Number four on the list of the top six ways to get rid of the weed crops, an army of caterpillars. Oh, okay. They'll eat it up.

Yeah. I was just looking up pests to marijuana plants and it actually just said the best way to organically control pests if you're growing your own. You might get a bit of mealy bug

on your own crops. So thrips. Yes. I don't know what thrips are. Is that like an aphid? Little, yeah, little, little. You get them when you're indoor houseplants. Yes. I don't know what thrips are. Is that like an aphid? Yeah, little, you get them when you're into houseplants. White. White fly, spider mites, leaf miners, aphids, and cabbage loopers are the worst.

Cabbage loopers are those little green caterpillars. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They call them budworms when they get up on your weed. God, how stoned would they be? Just hooning all that. Yeah. Fresh leaf. Just living their best life.

Number three on the list of the top six ways to get rid of weed crops. Make them grow up closer to the road because then you don't need the helicopter. Oh, yeah. Okay. Just walk in. Yeah, drive by. Could probably get up there on the ATV with a bit of spray. Number two on the list of the top six ways to get rid of the weed crops.

Get our Air Force with some paratroopers and they've each got a little weed eater. Oh, okay. They just land and then zip up that same line

underneath that helicopter. Nice. And number one on the list of the top six ways to get rid of the weed crops. This one probably makes the most sense. Probably legalise it,

tax it, sell it, build a library and fix a road. Chuck some light rail in there. Yeah, sure. You'd be surprised what you can do with a bit of money in the bank.

I mean, we were given the choice. We said no. We threw it away. How long do you have to leave the referendum before you can have another go at it?

Yeah, I wasn't going to ask the same thing because I'm bloody sick of that flag. Bring back Red Peak. I know, you were a big fan of the Weet-Bix one. John Key's Weet-Bix flag. Yeah, Weet-Bix. We bloody sick of that flag. Bring back Red Peak. I know, you were a big fan

of the Weet-Bix one. John Key's Weet-Bix flag. Yeah, Weet-Bix. Weet-Bix flag. That is today's top six. He's live on bloody Twitch right now. Quinn69,

noose, a Kiwi Twitcher, a Twitch streamer, has gone to lengths, and he's like right now he's going through all the articles he can find about this game called Diablo Immortal. Now, this is the latest if you play Diablo games. I'm not allowed to play them because the devil's in it, and my mum said we're not allowed to do that because we've got to go to church on Sunday, and God will know.

So, in this game, apparently, you can buy loot boxes. Now, loot boxes are a long contested thing in gaming because it's basically gambling. You're spending five bucks for a little purple box and you don't know what's in it until you've paid for it and you click on it and open it and it could be something. Or it could

be nothing. It could be and what he's hunting is a legendary gem. Right. Now, in this game, a legendary gem means you can soup up your character, use it to become all-powerful, but there's been a lot of talk online about how this legendary gem doesn't exist. Right. People are just a legend.

Right, and this is why this Kiwi man has gone viral, because he is hunting. He is hunting a legendary gem in Diablo Immortal. He has spent now $16,351.11 at time of broadcast because he's got it live on his screen how much he's spending. Yeah. He's accepting donations from people who want to see how deep. It's a scam, obviously. But that's what he's spending. He's accepting donations from people who want to see how deep. It's a scam, obviously.

But that's what he's saying. He's like, how much of a scam? Like, hey, $16,000. And he hasn't received one gem. Not one. Five-star gems, he said he hasn't received. And he's after it. And he spent $16,000 on it.

Has the company that makes the game said anything? Like confirmed, no, it is real? I don't know if they've released a statement, but this has been picked up because this is massive news in gaming. Yeah. It's been picked up by gaming websites around the world and gaming social media platforms. And these have monstrous followings.

Has anybody ever got one of these has anyone ever come out and said no one's got one i haven't seen it's real i don't think it's real i think he's donating on the um on the reddit post that initially alerted me toward this um i can see no one in the comments that's ever got one think about everything you could buy with sixteen thousand dollars well that's what he said at one stage. He's like, I've just hit, I think that was when he hit $10,000. He had a meltdown.

He said, I mean, well, could I have done bought a car, paid for my He said, pay for my child's education. So I don't know if he has a child or he's just hypothetically speaking. Because if you're spending $10,000 but there's a kid, if you've got a kid, you're kind of like... But how much of this is his own money?

You said people donated. I don't know. I haven't done the maths on... This is wild. People shouldn't be getting behind this. There'd be no law, right, if you make a game? That's what the whole thing with loot boxes has been. It's gambling effectively.

It's gambling that's open to children. It's not a pokies machine. It's not to children. It's not a pokies machine. It's not online slots. It's literally like they're playing a game and you can buy for $5 or whatever in the thing, a mystery box, a loot box, and it could have something amazing in it. But it's just like a pokies machine

because we don't know that they actually can win computers. I've won. I've won a biggie. What did you win? I've won a biggie. Yeah, but how much have you spent to win a biggie? Not much. Over time.

I don't spend much. Over time, who's in the red? I reckon I'd still be on top because I'd put $20 in and lose it and I'd be like, never again, and I won't go for five years. Yeah, same. Whereas people go to the casino every weekend.

I think I won $100 once on a pokey's, and that was it. Yeah. I spent $20. Yeah. And spent twenty. Yeah. Eighty dollars off. See, this never happened in Farmville. You always got attracted, didn't you? You pay for a tractor, you got a tractor. That's what they're saying. If you're paying for something

in a game and you're getting that exact thing, then that's fine. But if you're paying for a mystery money or the bag situation and you don't know what's in it. Or a jewel that doesn't exist. And a jewel that apparently after $16,000 doesn't exist. So is he going to stop or is he just going to keep on going?

He's live streaming right now and when I checked last night he was live streaming then too. I'm wondering, is this guy sleeping? So you know a messenger? But I like if people are donating like $5 each. He could just keep going forever. And then if... No one's putting themselves out by

donating what they can just to kind of be part of this social experiment, but no one should be donating like $10,000 when that could easily be donated to a charity clothing and feeding people ahead of winter. Yeah, I'm also pretty sure we've still got cancer to sort out. There's that other C1 as well.

What's that C1 tearing up the world at the moment? Cholera Dirty water, we need more water filters I've got a trend alert Now we did put a request in for an intro to be made Yeah, because you know me, I'm just breaking trends all the time I'm letting people know what's cool, what's hip So we put on the form that you wanted a computer voice and a siren.

Yeah. A computer voice to announce that you've got a trend alert. So this is what's come back. Trending alert. Trending alert. Trending alert. Trending or trend alert? I'm all right with trending alert.

Okay. Because this is trending. It's a trend that's trending at the moment online. Is that the tsunami siren? I don't know if we should use the tsunami siren. Yeah, we alarm people. It had a civil defence-y vibe to it, didn't it? I don't want to alarm people on coastal areas.

People will be just tuning in at that moment and going, I've got to go. I've got to get to a high ground. No, no tsunami, just a trend alert, guys. Okay. So you know how everything from Y2K is coming back, and we can't stop it? Yep.

The Gen Zers, they love a little bit of early 2000s. The fashion's all back. Butterfly tops, the strands, messy buns, butterfly clips, a lot of butterflies, really. Well, here's the latest in what's coming back from Y2K, tramp stamps. I know that's not the technical term, but I mean a lower back tattoo in the middle of your lower back.

I mean, when... I think your tribal designs, your floral designs, your butterflies, your playboy bunnies. When did they first pop up? It was like the 2000s, right? The origins of the tramp stamp. It must have had a time 20 years before that, though. Yeah, because everything comes back.

The 70s? Were they called like disco tags or something? I don't know. But it feels like in the late 1990s as low-rise jeans became popular.

Yeah, because you want to show them off, right? Because you want to show them off so you would have like a little crop top and a low-rise jean. And then wide, wide thin angel wings.

I hate low-rise jeans because obviously you've got to be quite skinny to pull those off. Oh my God. And call me, call me old-fashioned and maybe a little bit conservative,

but versus a tramp stamp, pair your low-ride white jeans up with a nice black G pulled up. Yeah. The wild tail. Let us know that you're wearing a G-string by having a, you know, a definitive gap of skin

between the G and the top of your low-rise pants. It's stacked. You go tramp stamp, wild tail, low-rise G. Now I know you're a party girl. Now I'm a party girl. None of that aged well. And then on the front, I've got the belly button pierced. I've got my midriff out. Let's be honest, none of that aged well.

So don't do it this time around again. No, yeah, maybe don't reach out and get one, but apparently, like, I mean, so many celebs have them. Britney Spears is always showing hers off. Or they're reclaiming them. People of my generation, I don't have one. Mine's slightly to the left, so it doesn't count. Oh, but you do have one.

So you do have one. I do have a tattoo in my lower back, but to the left. You know in, like, Microsoft Word or a document, you're, like, left align. Left align. Right alignment. My tattoo's left align. It's not a trap set. What is it of? Bohemian Rhapsody, sheet align. Left align. Right alignment. My tattoo's left align. It's not a trap set.

What is it of? Bohemian Rhapsody sheet music. All right. What the... What the hell? Yeah, what part of Bohemian Rhapsody? What was... Oh my God, I love Bohemian Rhapsody.

Anyway, look, whether it counts or not, they're back. Back and better than ever. I reckon go out and get one. What about a butterfly with angel wings on the butterfly and like some sort of non-ethnic kudus around? Before you do, no. Before you do rush out and get one, ask around. I'd start with asking your auntie,

whose life's kind of not where you want to end up Yeah, her name's Kath or Trey If she's got one and can you see it and then when she shows you that's going to be you Yeah, yeah Take that into your considerations

That would be my request Famously people don't really consider tattoos Just go and get one. They're fun. Today's sillyilly Little Pole. Do you call your pets your children? Because this came about, I put up a photo of my dog. Yeah. A Richie sitting next to the goat, which was on the lawn,

because I can't be arse mowing the lawns, it's wet and such. Yeah. And the dog had this look on his face like, what's this doing here? This isn't a lawn animal. And I put the comment on, hey, Vaughn, is this meant to be here? And so many people replied, not ha, ha, ha. What a comical dog observation. It was really good from you.

They said, why is your dog referring to you by your Christian name and not like calling you dad? I'm like, because I and not like calling you dad. I'm like, I'm not the dog's dad. And so many people took umbrage with it when I sent back. I don't refer to my pets as like, it's a bit weird. Your kids. My kids. You've got two of those.

I've got two of those. Yeah. And he's my mate. He's my adventure mate and stuff and sometimes a bit too much and you're like, give me some space. You're a man's best friend. Yeah. And he's my mate. He's my adventure mate and stuff, and sometimes a bit too much, and you're like, give me some space. Yeah, man's best friend. Yeah, best friend, not child.

Best child. I'm sort of slightly on the fence about this one, because I don't call, I mean, the idea of calling my mongrel cat Rolly my son is outrageous, and I think it's an insult to mothers around the world. But when I, because I talk

on behalf of Raleigh and there's his voice and then Raleigh says, I'm a cat. He just walks around. I'm hungry. I'm a cat. And when I do it to Aaron,

I say, hey dad, I'm a cat. So I do kind of say, go to dad. He looks at you as parents but you don't look at him as a son. As my son.

Wow. Like a stepchild. Like a stepchild. He calls me Mrs. Sproul. Mrs. Sproul. Very formal, but yes. Well, we asked our silly little poll this question. Yeah, and 58% of people say yes.

God, you know these people, they all own like Pomeranians. Or silly little dogs. Oh, God, yeah. Those silly dogs. Yes. Yappy little dogs. Yeah. Do you refer to your pet as your children?

58% said yeah. 42% said nah. Some responses. Amanda said pre-having actual kids, yes. Now, no. They got downgraded. They do. They get downgraded.

But then do they get downgraded? They take a more mature role. They do. They're like your mate now. The mate guardian. Hayley says gross. It makes me want to vom. Yeah, a lot of people messaged me saying whenever they

see somebody online say my fur baby, it makes them feel sick. I mean, all of our eyes collectively just disappeared into the back of our head just then. Nikki said, I already have five kids, the pets are the pets. Yeah, here you go, Sarah. No, I don't, but I do

refer to myself as their mother. That's like me. I'm the Guardian. I'm a cat. Julie, because I love pets. No, I don't, but I do refer to myself as their mother. That's like me. I'm their guardian. I'm a cat. Julie, because I love pets. Yes, I do. I love pets unconditionally, whereas children are rude and exhausting. That's fair.

Fair, yeah, fair call. Back country clothing. Don't think that's your maiden name. We don't have kids. Our pet is our daughter my parent, my partner won't leave her on Christmas day because he says that she knows when it's Christmas you do feel bad though, you do feel bad when you

leave on Christmas and they've got the same crap biscuits you give them every other day of the year Emily says I refer to our dog as my daughter since we've had them for two years. Anil said not only do I call them my kids, I openly tell my son that the

cat is our favourite child. Animals are just better, you know. That's something to keep in mind when your kid burns down a school or like a community hall or something. Because you haven't loved them as much as the cat. Because you've told them the cat's the favourite. So they're striving for your attention. Yeah, but that just proves Dad's point from the start.

The cat's the favourite because he hasn't been down to school. The cat lacks the opposable thumbs to strike a bit lighter to a small bundle of dry hay. It does. You're right there. So I will get my father's attention by using my opposable thumbs in the best manner I know how, starting a large fire. Alright, Paddy Gower is in next to talk about his new

documentary. Yeah, Paddy Gower on booze. Well, he's taken on weed, he's taken on pee, and now the man himself, Paddy Gower, is taking on booze. He joins us in studio, Morena Patrick. Morena, and I mean, I took weed on TV, obviously, for that docker. I've never taken pee, didn't take it in the docker.

And booze is one that's pretty easy because I've spent, you know, most of my adult life with a professional career of boozing. So, you know, I have taken some on in this docker as well. It's pretty easy. So it's tonight, Patrick Gower on booze, 8.30. What are we going to see? Yeah. Look, I think people are in for a shock.

They're going to see a very sort of deep personal side of me. They'll see my own drinking and my own drinking problems. They'll see me drunk. They'll actually see me really drunk. And I can tell you, if you ever want to reflect on your drinking, film yourself drunk with two big flash cameras and a soundie in HD because it does not look good. It does not look good.

Or just a mate with an iPhone if you're right. Push for that. It's called TikTok. It happens all the time. Was that confronting for you, obviously, to watch that back? Oh, yeah. I hate watching it. And I actually don't really like watching this documentary.

I know particularly where the parts are that I don't like. You know, usually I really, really, really, you know, I really enjoy watching them. But this one, I don't like it. And, you know, I could have actually taken the scene out. I considered it for a while. And then I thought, nah, let's leave it in and see where this leads us. Because the documentary itself led me on my own journey, if you like,

with alcohol that I never really expected. And that night was kind of the catalyst. I ended up sitting down with Corrin Dan, who I worked with at TV One. He was TV One, I was TV Three in Parliament. And he hit me up about my boozing. And then I went out and got horribly boozed and stuffed up this shoot. And I kind of woke up the next day

and the two things were literally ringing in my head. And that's led me and the documentary off in a completely different direction into a completely personal story that will shock some people. So why do you think, because when it was on meth, people were like, no doubt about it, it's terrible. But why do you think Kiwis are so reluctant to say that about booze? Is it too intricately woven into our culture or what's the deal? Yeah, totally, Vaughan.

I just think, you know, even myself, I didn't even really think, you know, people would say to me, why don't you make a doco and booze? Why don't you make a doco and booze? When I was out doing the weed thing and stuff like that, people would always go, that's the one doing the harm. And for a long time, I would kind of sort of semi-ignore them.

And I was like, I'm not really interested in doing that. You know, it's here, that's it. But I think, you know, like what's happened to me, what people will see with me tonight, once you actually start asking yourself the hard questions about your boozing, like the really hard questions, and I'll tell you what, some of the things that I bring up tonight are effing hard to visualise, like the actual real reason that I drink, like the real reason, you know, like I'm in with a psychologist. And, you know, once you strip all of that back, you actually start to realise, Jesus, this is not good.

And I think society's like that as well. You know, it's like, just like I could block it out in my life and carry on trucking. I think New Zealand does that a bit as well. And this documentary's aimed at making people look at themselves. And is that the goal? Because, you know, like you say, Vaughan, with on weed, we can go, well, I don't smoke weed.

And on pee, you go, I've never touched this stuff. But on booze, it'll hit harder because I would say the majority of adults in New Zealand would have a drink or two or more. Have bottles of it in a cupboard at home ready to access. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, totally. And I wouldn't be surprised if around

about 8.37 tonight some caps start going on a few bottles of wine because you know, it's going to have that kind of effect. And I mean it just feels like everybody drinks in this country, eh? You know, I know that some people don't, but you know, I mean

their loved ones will. And they're constantly asked why they don't. Yes. If someone's like, I? You know, I know that some people don't, but, you know, I mean, their loved ones will. And they're constantly asked why they don't. Yes. Someone's like, I'm not drinking. A female has assumed she's pregnant or trying to get pregnant. Absolutely. And when a guy says he's not drinking, everyone's like, why's that?

Yeah. And Vaughan, it's interesting you raise that because since I've been making it, two of my mates, two of my good mates from separate parts of my life, when they heard what I was doing, they're like, hey, do you remember that time that I talked to you, Patty, about wanting to give up and you gave me a hard time

and said it would be boring or why do I want to do that? And look, I couldn't really, I could sort of see me actually remember it. And I just, when they said that to me, Vaughan, I just felt this deep sense of shame that I'd done that to my own friends, that I'd been that guy that you were kind of talking about. I don't like to think that I'm like that, but I think just locked up in this society that we're in. I had said things like that,

and I just feel really bad about being that person those times, like really bad. That is a real attitude, eh? It's like, come on. I know. No, that was me. That was me. I was just like, what?

And now I look back. It's been fun. And now I look back, I'm like, come on. No, that was me. That was me. Now I look back and I'm like, why did I do that? If someone's trying to do something that's really hard, why did I even make even the most flippant of comments? And I think that's what the documentary's going to try and do as well is make a bit of space

for people. We just need to make more space for people who've got a problem with alcohol in New Zealand society. Just make it easier for them. Make more room for them. Well, you can watch it tonight on 3.8.30. Patrick Auer on booze. Thank you so much for coming in, Paddy. No, thanks for having me, guys.

This is a cool story because I like to think I would never be allowed because you've met Sade. She's got a very particular taste and aesthetic of how things should look. So I wouldn't be allowed to slide in the house Sade. She's got a very particular taste and aesthetic of how things should look. So I wouldn't be allowed a slide in the house. If we ever got to build a new house at a three-story, I wouldn't be allowed a slide. Well, no, it would look like a Google office, wouldn't it? You know, Google offices?

Yeah, yeah, sleep pods and beanbags and slides. What about in your new shed? From the roof? From the rafters. There could be a slide set up. You could put a slide from your tree house. Well, I looked into buying a slide from the tree house, but it's...

I don't know if I'm outing myself here or not. I'm going to get a council inspector. It's too high. The tree house, they just don't make slides like that. Oh, right. You can't just pick up and put them together. No, because then there'll be a flat bit in the middle and it'll absolutely be... And you get a bit of air and bloosh.

I don't have the tailbone for that. I'll hurt my back again. But this lady's got a slide in her house. Pip. Yep. She had an old style batch over there. She sold the Cambridge property. She's like, I'm moving to the beach,

which I'm all for. She's retiring to the beach and she's like, I'm going to build a new house and bugger it, I'm putting a slide in it. So a slide from where to where? From the top story to the bottom story. So it's a two-story house. And it kind of comes out the side of the house, doesn't it?

So it doesn't take any room in the house. It does. It's an external slide and, I mean, it's all signed off, so it ticks the boxes. Also Also her fence is like this patchwork fence of like tiles and paint. Yeah she's funky. Yeah she looks like a funky librarian and she's built a funky library to live in. Now did she do this because as you get older steps are hard or has she got grandkids? It was inspired, she said, by an emergency exit slide she can remember from boarding school.

Oh, yeah. What boarding school had an emergency exit slide? That'd be cool. There was always just like the biggest window in the school. Yeah. In the classroom. That was the emergency exit. Like a plane, an emergency exit slide.

She uses the slide every day, although recently her physio has encouraged her to use the stairs to aid in her recovery from a knee injury. But she made a patchwork magic carpet she sits on so she can go as fast as possible. She's not just going slow in her jeans. I love that. She's reducing friction. Does she have a crash pad at the bottom?

There's no photo of the exit. There's a photo of the entry and she's like introducing the... Oh, you know, there is... No, it's a longer exit. There's a photo of the entry and she's like introducing the Oh, you know, there is. No, it's a longer, it's a longer exit. Yep. Where the slide keeps going flat a little bit and then like a drop off so you can put your feet down and just straight up into a standing position. Oh, wow.

Whoa. That is so that is so rad. I've always said if I won Lotto, I'd have a slide in my house. She's beat me to it. I'd have an internal slide that went down like a spiral staircase. Oh, yep. How high is this house, though? Yeah, that's the thing,

because you want to be able to stop at different floors. Maybe there's a slide that goes from the fourth floor. I'm just chucking out fourth floor. I've won lotto after all. Why should I only have three? You're getting four floors if you win lotto. Four floors, slide from four to three, three to two, but then also one that just goes four to one.

Could you do a series of them? Like have a fireman's pole from four to three and then a slide from three to two? I think you're really struggling to get council to sign off consent for a fire pole. You reckon? You've won Lotto. Get an elevator.

Get one of those two. A base jumping platform. Sure. Yeah, she said a fireman's pole had been on the cards for the build, but her family talked it out of it. She just sounds like the raddest grandma. I don't back myself as even an adult at my age to do a fireman's pole. Like, there's a lot that can go wrong.

Oh, my God. And the thighs? The thigh squeak. Yeah. The thigh squeak on a fireman's pole. And then you loosen, and all of a sudden you're just absolutely ripping it. And if you lubricate the pole. Oh, yeah.

Fly down it. No. No, yeah. I don't even think firemen are allowed to use poles now either. I don't think. Is it health and safety? Yeah. Yeah.

They have to go down the stairs while our house burns down. Yeah, they do. Hold the rail and go down. PC madness. Yeah, does PC go mad? PC bloody madness. What a cool house. Yeah. I'd love that. She's got bloody madness. What a cool house. Yeah.

She's got a cool house with a cool slide in it. And we want to know this morning, like Pip, what's the coolest thing in your house? Does your house have a cool feature? I bet there'd be people with pinball machines. Or like, you know, the ultimate bachelor pads where they buy something like that. You didn't go to that... Ursula and I went to a Have You Been Paying Attention photo shoot at some guy's house. And the minute I walked in, I was like, what's that? It's a go to that. Ursula and I went to a have you been paying attention photo shoot at some guy's house and the minute I walked in

I was like, what's that? It's a trap door on his floor. I was like, what's that? And he's like, God,

you spotted that quick because it was like half covered with a rug. Right. I was like, what's down there? He's like, he sounded upset

like if the police ever came. what if there were dead bodies in there? That wouldn't have thrown them off. When we're finished you can have a look.

Now, if anybody knows me, I'm like a kid. If you say, if I want to do something, you're like, when you're finished, you can do it. So I was just like, let's take these photos. I bet you busted out your best poses. I was like, bang, bang, crash, bang, bang. Eyebrow.

Smile. He dug his own wine cellar. Oh, cool. Are you allowed to just do that? Yeah, you can go under. Under his house, because I've looked into it at my house, a lot of dirt, clay, mud. His was rock.

His house was built on rock. So he just chipped away with a pickaxe and just dug himself this line out. Like Shawshank Redemption. And he's like, you come down here, and because it's in rock, it's a consistent temperature. Yeah. He's like, you'll have no idea of the time when you're down here.

He's like, I've come down here to read a book and have a few whiskeys at like six o'clock at night, and I finish and it's half past two in the morning. He's like, time's're down here. He's like, I've come down here to read a book and have a few whiskies at like six o'clock at night and I finish and it's half past two in the morning. He's like, time's different down here. And I immediately, I was like, need cellar. Yeah, right. Need bunker. I think that'd be wasted on you and your casks of three litre medium white.

Yeah. They stack so well. They do. On their side. So we want to know from you this morning, do you have a cool feature in the house that you live in? Maybe you've got a flat and there's some weird like doors and secret rooms. Or maybe you have a small room. We've always dreamed of having a room that's just bed.

You know what I mean? Like the room has a custom mattress in it that's just bed. Oh, yeah. Corner to corner. Do you know what's in at the moment? Sunken couches. Oh, I know. That's so cool. Like in the mid-century. bed. Oh yeah. Corner to corner. Do you know what's in at the moment? Sunken couches. Oh I know, they're so cool,

like in the mid-century. Oh like conversation, they call them conversation pits. Those are rad. Well, 0800 DARS at M, maybe it's an item,

something cool, a slide like this lady pip. Have a little flex. 0800 DARS at M, give us a call, you can text as well, 9696. What cool thing

do you have in your house? Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. There is a lady in Mount Maunganui who has installed a slide from her second step. Pip. Cool Nana Pip. From the top story to the bottom, and that's how she gets downstairs. She's living our dreams.

What a cool gal. We want to know what cool thing you have in your house, whether it's a weird object or something like a slide. Yeah. Some messages on Instagram. Stussy escapes. I assume Stussy may be the 90s clothing brand. We have a whole wall of our lounge that's a big, fat mirror.

Everybody gets a fright when they walk in. Oh, big our lounge that's a big fat mirror. Everybody gets a fright when they walk in. Oh! Big fat mirror. Big fat mirror. I think they just meant a whole wall of a mirror. Or one of those mirrors that makes you look wide and short. I went to somebody's house once and they had it downstairs. I was like, why is there whole walls of a mirror? And they said bodybuilders used to

own this house. Oh my god. They're posing practice. And they're checking themselves out whole mirror well it'll make the place look bigger than it is yeah it would

too much too much mirror yeah Troy says I made a bed and hid a TV in the foot of it so I flick a switch

and the TV comes out of the foot of the bed I love those I always see those that's pretty cool we've got a walk-in hot water cupboard I mean this is

I don't know if this person's a mum, but that's big mum energy to be skirting about your hot water cupboard. It fits a whole clothes rack in there. I bet it does. Imagine waiting for your yeast to rise, you know, your doughs to rise. You could walk it, you could hang your clothes and put your socks on the airing rack while you're waiting for your yeast to rise. Gorgeous.

Ashley says a pop-out bench under my oven for extra bench space. Oh, that's good. So it must be a wall-mounted oven with a pop-out bench. Yeah. Oh. That's great. Always need a bit of extra bench space, don't you? Yeah.

You can never get enough. Few reports of laundry shoots as well. And when you're a kid, you can fit down the laundry shoot. Have you seen those things on TikTok where you throw the clothing at the wall and it sucks it into the laundry shoot? No. Is it like a laundry vacuum? And so if you have done with your T-shirt and you chuck it at the wall

and this hole goes... Does it always have to be sucking? Or do they turn it on and then film the TikTok? This is what I thought. Is it constantly just like... Need to do some research on that. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM.

Well, if you know Pip, she's got a slide in her house. And that's pretty cool by us. Please pass on our warmest regards to Pip. And I tell you what, when we're down for our bingo tour, we should pop around for a slide. Oh, yeah, Pip, we're coming over. She's in my SS round. I'm just assuming she's listening.

I don't want to break Pip's slide, though. Why? You think you're going to be too heavy? Ah. Ah, you look great. What's the weight rating on the slide, Pip? What's the weight rating on the slide? It goes out of her house. It's kind of held on by bars, but I don't want to break it.

We want to know the coolest thing that you have at your house. Natalie's caught up. Natalie, what's the coolest thing at your house? So, it's not really cool. It's weird, but my dad built a sheet in the backyard and he's turned it into a shower. Oh. Outdoor shower. That's fancy.

That's really fancy. Are you guys grubby, are you? Yeah, we go out. I guess we've gone to the beach or we're really muddy or something. No sand in the house. It's a good idea. We're going to rock an outdoor one for the dogs. Oh, yeah. That'd be a good idea. Yeah, going to rock an outdoor one for the dogs. Oh yeah.

Yeah, get to wash off the dogs outside. Natalie, thank you for your call. Dan, what's the coolest thing at your house? So, about 10 years ago, mate, the one of those flats we just sold to make a bedroom into a foam pit. A foam pit? Like, that you can just

jump into? Absolutely. Yeah, like you go to the trampoline places, you've got the big foam pit. Yeah, I've been to the, we went to the trampoline place that worked, didn't we? And I got freaked out in the foam pit. I thought I was never coming out. There's a bit of suffocate in there.

Yeah, it's quicksand for adults. Have you lost any friends in there? No, body count's been 100%. Oh, do you hesitate? Do you want to go have a look? Did you have to build some sort of retaining wall to keep the foam in? Yeah, so we're all a bunch of apprentice tradies at the time there

and had some foam swabs left over on one drunken night when the boys said, let's make a foam pit. So we did. So you had a whole spare room at a flat that you turned into a foam pit or was this somebody's bedroom? Somebody's bedroom. Checked them out and turned into a them out. Make a phone pit. Of course.

See you later. You sleep in the lounge now. Dan, thanks. Tim, what's the coolest thing at your house? I have a fireman's pole and a climbing wall in my parents' family house. What? A climbing wall.

Oh, that's fancy. Why? How did that come about? So when my dad designed to build this house of ours, he decided it was going to be a good idea to put a climbing wall in for the kids to play on. Oh, my God. Cool.

And so when grandkids come along, yeah. So as soon as you walk in the front door of the house, there's just a big climbing wall that's about four metres high. Have you got a mat underneath in case you fall off? No. What about those things you clip on so someone can hold your weight

if you come to misstep? Yeah, the whole harness set up and everything. Wow. And do you know a real estate agent

once told me like with a tree house and stuff, you can't go wrong because kids walk into a house, they see a tree house and they're just like that house,

that house, that house, that house and they said the pestering power of children when it comes to buying a house is a massive thing. Really? I just seen this.

And Tim, has anyone ever had an accident on the fireman's pole? No. Oh, okay. Not yet. That wasn't believable. We've been pretty good with it, so no one's hurt themselves yet. Apart from drunk Uncle Dave. Amazing.

Tim, thanks for your call. Some other messages. We did some work On an old farmhouse And looking at the Floor plans We were like This doesn't make any sense

It turns out There was heaps of Secret passages Behind the walls And like way to get From room to other room And under the house And it was all secret

Why though I need to know why It's like those You know those houses That have a wardrobe And you open up the wardrobe And you go through it. Narnia.

Nah, absolute Narnia situation. Somebody else said that too. At the back of the wardrobe, they had a door and it led to a massive, like, hidey space. Oh. Who's got these massive houses these days? Yeah. Enough room to make hidey spaces.

Yeah. Someone said my dad's mate had a urinal in his house. You wouldn't have one in your house because they stink, right? Yeah, they do. They smell. I tell you what, what a great idea, though. It'd be handy. Oh, you love a urinal.

It's just so much easier. Somebody said we had a dungeon in our house growing up, so the old owners had just closed the door on the old kitchen, removed the door handle, and left it, and built a new kitchen at the other end of the house. Again, closed the door on the old kitchen, removed the door handle and left it and built a new kitchen at the other end of the house. Again, too much space on their hands. Look at how much space on their hands. And so when we were kids, we popped it open

and it was just so creepy and horrible. We called it our dungeon. Someone said we've got a fairly decently sized Harry Potter room under the stairs. Oh, okay. The kids love playing in that one. A laundry chute. Lots of people talking about laundry chutes.

They're pretty cool. When you saw your first one of those as a kid, you were like, can we slide it down? What? Yeah, lots of them. I see we had an indoor playground. Oh. What?

Is it too much square footage on your hand for an indoor playground? Do you remember the 90s were big on rumpus rooms? Huge on rumpus rooms. If you had a friend with a rumpus room, that was a pretty big deal. It was upstairs. It was above the garage at my mate's house. And I was like, so what are we doing here?

And he's like, we rumpus. We just rumpus around. And I was like, what's a rumpus? And he's like, this. And just like, forward roll. That's rumpusing.. I was like, what's a rumpus? And he's like this and just like forward roll. Let's rumpus. Hey, you on the phone. I bet I can guess your mom's name.

Now we're joined this morning by I believe it's pronounced Keta. Hi. Keta, good morning. What a beautiful name. How's that spelled? It's spelled Q-U-E-T-A. Wow. Do people call you a myriad of things, Quetta?

Mm-hmm. David Quetta. David Quetta. Titanium. No. Okay. We're out. I mean, you might have questions about the origin of that name,

but you're going to delve into the mum now, Vaughan. I thought you were doing dial-up. Are you reversing? Yeah, we're pulled over now. Well, I don't want to interrupt your reversing, please. We're pulled over now. Are you just rocking it OG? That's it.

Okay, well, Vaughn now has five questions to ask you about your mum, and if he can name her in 15 seconds, you win $100. Okay. Today's not the day. I always check with Executive Intern Anya. Today's not the day I get cancelled, is it? It is.

Let me check the chat here. I'm always worried. Oh, dear. Okay, well. Quetta, what is your mum's worst habit? Very squeaky voice. That's so mean. And she also never stops talking.

She never stops talking with her squeaky voice. That's a bad habit. I was going to say, my mum's very judgmental of people in situations that she won't understand. That would be my mum's bad habit. Yeah, right. Squeaky voice. That's even mean. My mum's bad habit is, she's a hermit.

Oh, my mum's a big hermit. Is she? Wait, you're right. Get her. Get her. Yep. Okay, all right. Squeaky voice, never're right. Get her. Get her. Yep, yep. Okay, all right. Squeaky voice, never stops talking.

Okay, well, so what does that, does that remind you of any mums? Yeah, but I'm not saying it out loud. Gosh. I don't know, I could get back to them. What do you do? Are you chucking a Sade on there? I wouldn't dare. I'm kidding, Sade.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Ah, who are these women? Who was that? Who was that? I think they were sort of talking. Quetta's mum. Janelle.

Janelle. Oh, Janelle, yeah. Quite young, though. Louise? I think Quetta's quite young. Yeah, Louise. Louise. Hang on, is it,

how do you pronounce your name, Quetta? Quetta. You stop saying Quetta. Why am I saying Quetta? But it's spelt Q-U, isn't it? What's the origin of that name? I have no idea.

I think it's Spanish. That's why I was saying Cueta. Cueta Rico. Cueta Rico. It's got a Spanish-y. Was it in? Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't invented.

Like your parents didn't chuck Maria on there? Do you reckon Spanish names? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Spanish names are not to get used. Anita. What? Maria.

Is Anita a Spanish name? Carlos. Carla. Carla. Carla. Are you okay? You got COVID. You got COVID.

Have you done a rat? It's horrible. No, I haven't got COVID. I've done a test. I've done a test. You've done a test. Good, good. Sometimes they'll give you a fake negative though. Yeah, they do.

You're rocking COVID. I reckon I've had it. You've had it. You've been and done. Yeah. It's a Spanish name. Spanish origin. Short form of names like Enriquita.

Oh, Enriquita. So nice. What does that mean? Like Enrique. What is the meaning of it? The female version of Enrique. No idea what it means. That's nice.

That's really nice. What's mum's favourite shop? Probably Lululemon. Oh! Stretchy mum. Okay. I didn't see that coming. I thought it was going to be like a garden centre.

Yeah. Or, yeah. I wonder how old mum is. Don't answer that. Like a cafe or something. This is the first, by the way, none of my five questions ask mum's age this week. Really?

Because usually that's an absolute. I'm picking a young mum, though, if she's a Lululemon. Like a hot mum? Yeah. No, like as your mum. Oh, that's not one of my questions. Who's keeping it tight these days? Who's keeping it tight?

You can keep it tight. You know what I mean? Keep it tight, but keep it light. I don't know. I think this could be... I'm going to chuck a Jen on there. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Have you got an Abby? God, what is she, five? Emma. She could be like an Emma. Yeah, I reckon you've got to go for mum's Because it sounds like she could be in her Maybe 40s, 50s

I was thinking late 40s Yeah late 40s, early 50s No confirmation on that Don't give it away Because I haven't heard any kids in Go out this car In go out this automobile Si, si, si, si, si.

I need some more, not necessarily Spanish names, but names that Spanish people aren't afraid to use. Tapas. All I can think of is... Papas. Tapas. Tapas. That's a Spanish thing Spanish people aren't afraid to eat.

Oh, yeah, okay, fair call. Imagine calling a kid a tapas. Have you eaten here before? We do things a little bit differently. We had a huge in-depth conversation about this recently. Yeah, about how every place is doing dinner like that. We bring it out when it's ready. All of our plates are designed to be shared.

What about Elena? Elena. Elena. Yeah, it could be Elena or Sophia. It's Sophia. Maybe you're missing out the regular mum's name. You could have a Sophia in there. You usually go for it.

Like, have you got a Christine on there? Oh, Chuck, and a couple of the old faithfuls. You put a Jan and a June. Karen. I had a Jane. I might do a Jan. Okay. How many questions left?

Oh, I've got more. What was the last present your mum gave you? I think it was earrings. Oh, no. No, no, no. It was a phone. Yeah think it was earrings. Oh, no. No, no, no. It was a phone. Yeah, it was a phone. Jesus, a big difference there

between us. They could have been expensive earrings. Yeah. Shops at Lululemon, it sounds like mum's got exquisite taste. Yeah, she does.

Yeah, who's making bank? Mum's making bank. Okay. What kind of parents do you know would just give an iPhone to their kid? Like what name's era jumping out at you?

Oh, I'm drawing a blank Maybe a Stacey? Diane? A Diane? Okay, I might go a Diane A Stacey, a Diane I know a very, very stingy Diane Oh, what about a Juliet?

Oh, yeah That's a classy Julie, isn't it? Yeah If my name was Julie, I'd probably just call myself Juliet. I'll go Jules. Adds an air of class to it. Julie! Julie's been dragged through the mud. The name's been dragged through the mud by a couple of

rough Julies. Yeah. We all know a rough Julie. Just quick check around the room. Do we know a rough Julie? Do we know a rough Julie? Yeah, we do. Across the board, everyone in the GSM is also nodding. There you go, Julies. That's a freebie. Upgrade your name to Juliet today.

I'm up on a Juliet. Juliet also sounds more Spanish-inspired. By the way, I'm worried we've gone too far down the Spanish path now. Yeah, I think you have. Yeah, we're not Spanish. Well, you got that one for free, Vaughn. Yeah. Next question. If your mum was a shape

What shape would she be? Not like what does she look like But if you were to say Your mum is a shape You can't come on here Talking about your mum being a pear No no no Not like that

But I want to hear Your common shapes Like I'd say My mum's A rectangle Because she's reliable Yep No surprises

Wow And she's reliable, no surprises, and she's pretty straight-edged. Probably she would be, I love her because she loves me so much. Oh. Is she with you now and you're making up for that first comment about the squeaky voice? Yep. Is she there? Mum's there.

No, you can't talk to Mum. Do we hear Mum's voice? No, you're not allowed to hear Mum's voice. You're not allowed to? Mum's there. No, you can't talk to Mum. Do we hear Mum's voice? No, you're not allowed to hear Mum's voice. You're not allowed to hear Mum at all. No, no, no. Mum's giving it to her. You can talk to Mum afterwards. Now, have you asked all your questions?

One more question. Oh, my God. What's Mum's TV show that she just can't get on board with? She just doesn't like it. Shortland Street. She. Shortland Street. She hates Shortland Street. Oh, that's a national treasure. I reckon it'll be...

Too much drama, she says. What's that? Too much drama. Drama. She is right. If that was happening in a hospital, private or public, there'd be so many more investigations. There'd be so many complaints to the Health and Disability Commission.

So many. So she's a comedy gal or maybe a horror fiend. I think she might be because maybe in the early days of Shortland Street, there was someone with the same name as her. Oh, Waverley. Waverley. Put Waverley on there. Waverley's a very...

What about a Donna? Donna, yep. A Tiffany. A Tiffany. Yeah. What about a Lionel? Okay, a Lionel. She's Spanish after all.

Blangy. I'm just checking out names now from the old days. Those are your five questions. I'm going to put a Rangi on there. Okay. All right, KT, here we go. Vaughn now has 15 seconds to try and guess your mum's name. If you hear your mum's name, yell out,

Stop, that's my mum's name. Your time starts now. Sandra, Sally, Janelle, Louise, Anita, Carla, Lisa, Rachel, Lionel, Tiffany, Donna, Elaine, Emma, Monica, Karen, Jan, Stacey, Jan. Stop doing my mum's name. Which one? Karen. Monica. Monica.

Monica. That was a group of names from friends. Yeah. So I had Rachel. You put Jen on there. Phoebe, Jen. Kida, put Monica on. We want to talk to your mum.

Hi, Monica. Morning. You don't have a squeaky voice, and you only said morning. You didn't keep talking. How are we doing? No, it's not squeaky. You've got a gorgeous voice, Monica.

Okay. And I imagine a gorgeous body. And I think she's keeping it tight. And Lululemons. Absolutely. Are you wearing your Lululemons right now? Oh no, I'm in my work uniform. Oh, okay.

I think it's only fair now that Kida takes you out with that $100 and treats you. Well, you bought her a phone. You're a very generous mother. Or did you just want to keep tabs on her? Yeah, I've got it. I've got it on track me.

Yeah. Because, you know, Fletch bought some of these Apple tiles. I'm like, that's the cheaper way to track your kids. Yeah, pop it, sew it into their clothes.

Yeah, I might have to look at it. Yeah, no, don't track your kids. Trust your kids. Talk to your kids. Tell your kids you trust them, but track them secretly.

We just need to get Keta back on the line because we have triggered off the bonus round where... You're on the phone I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name.

Well his name's not going to be Chandler. You don't know. Could it be Joe? Could it be Joey? It could be a funny love story. Ross. Could it be Ross?

Monica and Ross. Monica and Ross. It just wouldn't happen. Oh my god. Imagine if you had been a Monica in the 90s or in early 2000s when Friends was massive and you had a lover called Ross. Monica and Ross. It just wouldn't happen. Oh my god, imagine if you had been a Monica in the 90s or early 2000s when Friends was massive and you had a lover called Ross

but everyone was like, oh, that's your brother. Oh my god. That would have been horrible. I reckon you've got to go for your stable of dad names. Your John, Chris. What about Lou? No, it's not Lou. Monica and Louie. It's not a Lou.

All right. Came to me in a dream. Did it? Sometimes I like to follow things. Brian? Brian. Brian. Monica and Brian.

I think maybe a tad too young for a Brian. Yeah, okay, true. A Grieg? A tad too young for a Brian. A Grieg? A Chris. I'm feeling Chris. Yeah, Monica and Chris. Chris is that.

What a massive, massive name through the 70s and 80s for boys. Huge, yeah. Okay, Vaughn, you've got to pick one. You've got to pick one name. I'm not Grant. I'm not really. What is he? Grant.

Greg. Greg. Monica and Grant. Monica and Greg. Greg. Oh, God. It could be any of them. It could be Grant.

It could be any of them. Greg sits. I'm not a hard... I don't feel it in my bones, but I feel like I'm going to lock in Greg. Okay, Kida, what's your dad's name? Oh, wait, you're locking in? Greg, what's your dad's name? Richard.

Oh, I can't believe it's Richard. Of course it's Richard. Wasn't that... That was the Tom Selleck Character in Friends Rich Richard It was right there It was right in our face Of course it wasn't Chandler

It was season three It was Richard Proving once again That you can relate Everything in life Back to Friends Yeah truly You can

Sorry it couldn't be 200 But it can be 100 Yeah congratulations Thank you. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is that goosebumps can accelerate hair growth. Oh. How about that?

Wow. So the idea of goosebumps, when you get cold and you get goosebumps, when we were hairy beasts and in other mammals with fur, it makes the fur stand up a little bit more, giving you more warmth. It pushes it up away from the skin, causing the insulation to be a little bit further away from the skin. More puffed up. Yeah. And when you get it, when you're, like, frightened or, like, scared,

the goosebumps, that's the fright of flight. That's to make you look a bit bigger. I like how cats go like... Yes, the goosebumps, that's the fright or flight. That's to make you look a bit bigger. Oh. I like how cats go like. Yes, and get a big fluffy tail. Yeah. So goosebumps occur when tiny muscles in our skin's hair follicles called arachnopilly muscles pull the hair upright.

Now, when it pulls it upright, if it stays up there, it can encourage it to grow. Because it's pulling on it. Because it's pulling on it. Oh. Can encourage it to grow. Because it's pulling on it. Because it's pulling on it. Can you get goosebumps on your bald head? I did not think you were going to say on your bald head. I thought you were going to say can you get goosebumps on your

bald balls. On your bald balls. So there was the National Institute of Arthritis, Musculoskeletal and Skin... A whole lot of people, a whole lot of scientists got together. That's what they call themselves. They used drugs and genetic models to remove sympathetic nerves from the skin.

Now, that includes the ones that can cause goosebumps. And they were slow to activate and new hair production was delayed. So they said, well, if removing the ability to get goosebumps slows down hair growth, if we stimulate these muscles, would hair growth be encouraged? And would it go faster? And the answer is yes, it would. Well, you don't want to be paying hundreds of dollars for laser hair removal and then get all cold or scared.

That's me. And that's probably why you're having to go back for so many sessions. I've got a session today. It keeps coming back. The laser hair removal zaps it at the root. So when it pulls, it's not pulling on anything. I was going to say, but you can still get goosebumps. Yeah, you can still get goosebumps, but it's not pushing the hair up.

Right. So the hair's already dead at the root of it, so it's not going to encourage hair growth. It's not already there. Encouraging hair growth? I must have a very cold upper lip. All the time, just a very cold upper lip. Yes.

So, I don't know. Is that why cold people wear hair? No. That was the only thing that blew my mind. We're getting laser hair removal. They said, oh, in summer your hair grows quicker. When you're warm, your hair grows quicker. I was like, that seems counterproductive to the original purpose of hair and fur.

But it's like animals shed for summer. Yeah. When they're warm. We seem to grow hair quicker. We're weird. We are a weird little mammal, aren't we? So today's fact of the day is goosebumps can actually encourage hair growth. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. I just realised maybe I shouldn't advertise this. Remember Aaron saying to me, whenever I'm away, don't say it on radio because someone will come over to your house and kill you. There you go. Well, luckily you have a Rottweiler and a shotgun. Yeah, I do. It's Raleigh. I'm a cat.

So, yeah, Aaron's away at the moment. He's filming something, a big top secret project. Is it another commercial for? No, it's not a new Nova. Not a new Nova. We've only just got the first one. The ad 2022 is Nova. No, I've got a question.

How is it on the new Nova ad with Greg Rover there's three of him? Aaron's triplets. Yeah. Did you not know that? He's one of five, three of whom are just Aaron's triplets. And they all just got the exact same hair and outfit. Well, they did it for the acting. That is wild.

You know when the Olsen twins both played Michelle Tanner at Full House. That's what they do. They tag in and out. Amazing. But then this time there was an argument over who was going to be Greg Rover, so they all got to be Greg Rover. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, wow.

That's some magic. Pretty fun. I actually had an orgy with that old woman. That couple. What? I don't know. Tell me about that.

Okay. He didn't tell me about that. I'll fill you in on the details of that. Moving on. Aaron's away filming something else and so I'm at home

and then for the last two days he left on Sunday. I don't know what it is. I really keep myself together all the time and I do well. And the moment Aaron leaves, I turn into trash. Like I'll come home and I'll like sort of consciously kick the shoes. If it's any consolation, I see you as trash all the time. Even when Aaron's home, I think that you're trash.

Thank you so much. Thank you. You're welcome. Imagine if this is the revelation. It's like, no, that's just you in general. I just mean my behavior. Like I treat the house gross. I eat terribly.

Aaron, like, bless this man. He stocked up the fridge with like fresh, healthy salads and there's some fish to cook. Fish goes off quite quickly. How does he got to hit that fish almost immediately? Oh, God. I got butter chicken last night. The fish is done.

Is the fish in one of those heat-sealed envelopes that the supermarket puts in for you now? Yeah, in the paper bag, in the paper heat-sealed thing. Oh, no. I just wanted curry because I don't get curry when Aaron's around because that's, you know what I mean? Like, it's a private meal. It's a private thing. And I got two naans. I got a cheese naan and a garlic naan.

You know they do a cheese and garlic naan. You could have gone one naan. Yeah, I know. I got a cheese naan and a garlic naan. You know they do a cheese and garlic naan. You could have gone one naan. Yeah, I know. I got both. Wow. And I dropped all my clothes, bra off, fling. I don't know where that's gone. So to walk into your house at the moment, it would just look like an absolute mess. And it was perfect. And then he left and I came home and it's

trash. But then when he comes home, you don't do that. No, God no. And I have to sort of hope to give it a quick spruce. I'm terrible at watching bad TV. Fart. All sorts. Don't do that. No, God no. And I have to sort of hope to give it a quick spruce. I'm terrible at watching bad TV. Yeah. All sorts. Don't flush. You are trash.

Wow. What does it matter? Doors open. Go wine. I just nicked it from the bottle last night. What's the point? I like that. And it saves on dishes.

Yeah, I only have a glass for presentational purposes. To not look like trash. I do like when no one's home, everything's a doors open policy. Yeah. Showering, door open. Oh, this is my life. I know, it's a wild life. Yeah, beautiful.

But I don't do that thing. It is easy to kick your shoes off and make a mess because you are the only one that lives here. Exactly. But for me, because it's only short-lived, I'm just sort of like enjoying this slobbish behaviour.

Yeah. Just sort of, I'm just nude constantly sitting, I'm putting my nude butt on the furniture. It is weird because I,

because I live alone, I never shower or use the toilet with the door shut. And then when people do come over and I shut the door, I'm like,

that's what the back of my bathroom door looks like. It's weird. Yeah. Yeah. You've got to paint that. Just so I of my bathroom door looks like. It's weird. Yeah. Yeah. You've got to paint that. So I've got a hook on there. I should have put something on there.

I forgot about that hook that I never use there. Yeah. So this is what I wanted to talk about. I sort of want to make myself feel a bit better that I'm not the only person that does this. What is the bad habit that you pick up when your partner's away? I also go to bed super late. I'm exhausted.

And then for some reason I'm like, there's no one there to tell me go to away. I also go to bed super late. I'm exhausted. And then for some reason, I'm like, there's no one there to tell me go to sleep. You should go to bed. You've got to get up early. Yeah. And we're trying to conserve our wood at the moment because we're running out. I lit that thing at 3.30.

And then I stoked it up so it was burning all night. All right, well, 0800DANZATM, give us a call now. Text as well, 9696. What are the bad habits you pick up when your significant other is away? Well, Hayley, living the life of a bachelor at the moment. Bought a chicken last night when there was food in the fridge. Yeah, sat in my undies, ate a curry. Wine from the bottle, clothes on the floor.

Watched trash. Went to bed, didn't shower. Went to bed super late. I'm tired. I'm just,ed all the wood So we want to hear From you this morning When your partner goes away

What bad habits Do you get into Adam And we are hearing From the guys This morning Which I am quite surprised Because

Yeah usually the women Absolutely cut loose Yeah Adam What bad habit Do you do Well I'm going to call it an opposite bad habit. I'm quite a clean person.

I have a lovely wife and two kids. So keeping the house clean is not super easy sometimes. So when I'm at home, it's not so much I make a mess or I'm a pig. I'm the opposite. Whereas I won't stop cleaning because I love a clean house. But what's the point of cleaning when they're home? Yeah, they come home and just stuff it up in an hour.

Yeah, but I don't mean like I'm at home and they come home in an hour and I clean it. I mean like, oh, I've got at least a day where the house could be clean and immaculate. Adam, I might need you to come over at the end of this week and sort out whatever I'm laying down before Aaron comes home.

You're going the opposite way. Some more messages in. Thanks, Adam. Someone said, my dad's partner had Weet-Bix for every meal. He often goes away for two weeks at a time, and I'll eat nothing but Weet-Bix in his absence. That is going to be like, is that good for the digestive tract? I think it's really good fiber.

Only fiber? Only fiber. Cardboard fibre. Yeah. All right, the bad habits that you get into when your partner goes away. We're talking about how garbage we all are when our partners go away.

Turn into trash, use the house as a trash can. Connor, what habit do you get into when your partner's away? Yeah, I suck at remembering to brush my teeth with my partners away. Connor! Is it just seeing her brushing hers that reminds you that they need brushing? No, it's just

the human common decency. I don't want to crawl into bed next to her with a shitty breath. Yeah, but aren't you then going to go to work with your shitty breath? Yeah, but I'm in engineering. No one really cares. God bless the masks.

Do you remember when the first lockdowns happened? All those stories came out about how people just stopped brushing their teeth because they weren't going out. My teeth were amazing during lockdown. Really? Because you were stuck at home with your partner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

Yeah, but I think people that were either flatting or didn't have a partner and living alone were just not doing it. God. Because they weren't going out. Yeah, that would not be good for me. Connor, thanks. You called Leanne. What's the habit you get into when your partner's away?

Leanne. Oh, hi. How are you? Hi, Leanne. What's the habit, Leanne? Well, it's dinner, which tends to consist of wine and cheese for me. Yeah. And something like Weet-Bix for the kids.

Yeah, yeah, great, great. So is that because when the husband's away, he takes care of meals? No. Well, when he's away, yeah. No. When he's there, I do. Oh, right. When he's away, yeah. No, when he's there, I do. Oh, right. So when he's away, I need a rest.

Yes, you're just going, I don't need to put in the effort. Kids are easy. I need a treat. Kids need plain pasta 24-7 if you let them. So Weepix for dinner is probably a bloody treat. It is. Leanne, thanks. You call more messages in.

Somebody said, I always nut off at my partner for eating in bed. But when he's away, it's like a picnic in the bedroom. I have it all laid out on his side of the bed and I'm just sitting, dipping, sitting, dipping and eating. When you said nut off, I've got to say, I didn't think that's what it meant. Oh, really? No one's messaging with the obvious one either, have they? Yes, they have. They have a lot.

A 33-year-old female. When husband and kids go away, I watch something on the TV speakers. On the TV speakers? On the TV speakers. That's living. That's living.

My Catholic guilt would stop me from doing that. Yeah. Have the volume up a bit louder than normal. You live rurally, though. You've got free range. Although the trees carry you.

And we've got those huge glass doors with no curtains on them. So, I mean, no, it's never happened. Someone's driving down the road and I see the 80-inch TV through the window and I'll be like, what's he? Oh, my God. Be on the community page. Who lives in this house? They're watching adult content

on large screen TV and my children were asleep but I awoke them as we were driving down the road to alert them to it and now they know

what it is they've got questions he's all to blame obviously someone said when my partner's away I just don't go to bed yes

I just stay awake way too long and then in the morning I'm so tired I'm like why did I do that the next night I do exactly the same thing

yes it's the minute you take out one sort of pillar of your and then in the morning I'm so tired, I'm like, why did I do that? The next night I do exactly the same thing. Yes. It's the minute you take out one sort of pillar of your habit and routine, the whole tower crumbles. But it's also like I do love a little bit of quiet time to myself and so by going to sleep I'm wasting it unconscious. I might as well be up and watching trash and eating curry. It's weird when you've got nothing to do, sleeping seems like a waste. Oh, yes.

I hate anything I'm not conscious to enjoy. Sleep, waste of time. I'd skip it if I could. You're a glutton for sensory. I am. Like, please, yeah. I certainly am.