ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 14th October 2022

Episode Date: October 14, 2022

Silly Little Poll!    Top 6: Pet Obesity    Final Rankings: Whittakers    Dr Siouxsie Wiles!    Boomquifa!    Big Show Update!    Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, download, scan and play the Monopoly game at Maccas to be in to win. What do we have here? Oh, it's the podcast post office. And somebody got some mail today, didn't they? Now, I have, I prematurely opened this because it was all like taped up in this massive box. And then Vaughn had to use his knife skills.

I had to knife it. To get into it for me. Why do you carry a knife? For this exact purpose. I will say, before you tell the podcast listeners what you were sent, Hayley, I did notice the same box at reception For Newstalk ZB host Kerry Woodham Oh That is

That's really painted a picture for me Based on what this is Yes So then I pulled it out of the big box And there is another big box A nice big black box And it says on it Share

Satisfaction Wow So we start Sharing Satisfaction Satisfier We immediately start jumping around And it says on it, share satisfaction. Wow. So we start sharing. Satisfaction. Satisfier. We immediately start jumping around. Black discreet box.

And I said, I'm off to a hotel room this afternoon on my own in Christchurch. No better time or place for a box. So then I open up that box. You're not going to believe it. There's another box inside. Oh, my goodness. This is my third box. An absolute babushka of pleasure.

Next to that is a little Doots Bubbles. Oh yeah, nice. I was going to allocate it as a car wine, but that's a terrible thing to promote. So I'm going to put this in the fridge. Yeah. You know those little mini bottles? Yeah, a little fun one big glass or two small glasses. Perfect for a brekkie.

Something you'd get at a concert at a stadium and they pour it into a plastic cup. This is what I love because you're like, I always get these and it's like, I'm going to get a beer. And I'm like, I'll just get a wine. And I order a Bubbles, they give me this. That's 1.9 standard drinks. I got two. Yeah, good thinking. No, I'm a heist.

That's so Kiwi of you. Okay, so here's the other box. And I open that up. Oh, and then there's a little thing saying, Bound Launch. And it's an invitation to a bondage party. Oh my God. You got invited to a bondage party?

With Kerry Woodham? Kerry Woodham's going to be there. Yeah, we'll sit next to each other. And rough each other up a bit. By the sounds of things. So within this third box, I open it, and there's a little... This is what I love. A little tissue paper number.

Yeah. And then there's a little box called Bound. Bondage by sheer satisfaction. So it's like a... Well, I looked on the photo of two very sexy ladies in bondage, kind of kinky... Ariana Grande used to wear those outfits. Kinky wear, yeah.

It always looks like Ariana Grande, too. Ariana Grande cover album. I'm talking leather harnesses. I'm talking they're wearing leather cat masks. And I was thinking... Oh, for God's sake, tell me what's in that box, woman. It must be so exciting. It's like a man's business tie. That you tie around your, like, woman. It must be so exciting. It's like a man's business tie.

That you tie around your blindfold. What they've called it is a luxury bondage tie. Oh, I could get out of that. In midnight blue. But it honestly looks like... Oh, okay. I was going to say it looks like a man's business. It's got a dome.

Oh, no, it doesn't have a dome. Oh, you're going to get out of a dome. Now, that's not really... This might be too much for the boys to see. It's got a dome. Oh, no, it doesn't have a dome. Oh, you're going to get out of a dome. Now, that's not really. This might be too much for the boys to see. I'm tying it around my eyes. This would actually be. Do you know when we need a blindfold in the studio? No, because you'll be able to see under that, right?

Yes. Oh, surprise. Surprise, here I am. Is that more of a tie their arms above their head to the bed frame situation? Yeah, it is, but I've already got one. Oh, just go to Mitre 10 and get some rope. If I've got a big... Okay, calm down.

Mitre 10, get some rope over here. Jesus Christ. We've seen your hard parts on the ceiling. Go to a marine store and get some rope that'll withstand decades of salt water. You know, people that have those old school four-poster beds, you're like, we know why you've got that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know those people? You're like, why are you... We like to sleep in what feels like luxury. The fuck you do. Yeah, man. You like to ride each other like a pony. Yeah, you've got a truck strop tie down under the bed. Clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank.

Stretching them out and tying them down. They're not going anywhere with that. Yeah, absolutely not. Two and a half thousand kgs of sheer force holding them to the corner of the bed. I'm not saying I'm disappointed. I love the gift. Thank you very much for this silky tie.

Have you thought about when you go to the hotel in Christchurch this afternoon, have you thought about what happens if you tie yourself up and can't get out? Yeah, but what if I do successfully tie myself up? Then what?

Well, then you're going to have to be reaching. I can't reach. I can't reach. Oh, so you have to wait for room service. I have to think myself. Think yourself to the point of orgasm. Of orgasm. I'm just more worried about you being stuck there until room

service or housekeeping. I'll be like, hey Siri! Call reception. Oh dear. My Siri just tried to call reception. Oh no, don't call reception. She can't save you now. I was really hoping it was sort of like a leather gag or something sort of real wild.

And you know, like something that I've never used before. And they'll be like, ha ha ha, I'll bring it home. And then one night we'll go home and I'll be like, I don't know. It's happening, it's happening. I don't know. And then I'm like, guys, I'm into it. Wow, okay. I could use this around like my, you know, just cinching my waist in a dress maybe.

Well, that looks like the kind of thing you put around the curtains to tie them back up to the wall. Curtain tie. Yeah, that looks like the kind of thing you put around the curtains to tie them back up to the wall. Curtain tie. Yeah, that would be nice. Or if you're planting some fruit trees and you don't want a hard, like, thin cord against them. It's sort of a softer support. But again, I need more than one for these. Do you think Kerry Wooden would give me hers? So you can have matching curtain ties.

Do you think it's too much for me to reach out to Kerry and say, can I have your bondage tie? And she'd say, I didn't get one. I got a ball gag. And I'll be like, trade? She'll be like, I've already used that. I'll be like, it's all good. Just give it a wipe. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Congratulations to the youngest mare. Did she say 23? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God.

I saw the sprightly young chap on the television the other night. Yes. Oh, yeah. I thought, that's a young go-getter. How are these old mates in Gore going to take him seriously? Well, they didn't put their bloody hand up to do it, did they? Nah. I don't know why anyone does.

Nah, neither. What a horrible job. Just any kind of political. A servant. Yeah. Just everyone moaning the whole time and whinging. They get paid all right. Yeah?

Do they? If you're used to dealing with hearing from people whose opinion you don't care for, I mean, they elected you or didn't elect you. They get paid okay. Okay. So, you know. You don't need any qualifications to be mayor, right?

I don't think so, no. Did you say they get paid okay? Yeah. Wasn't Wayne Brown getting paid $300,000 a year? Oh, no, I wasn't thinking. Yeah, big city mayors, definitely, but I was thinking small town. Yeah, I don't know how much the mayor of Gore gets. Shall I have a Google?

Have a Google. There was a regional mayor that was running unopposed. It was in line to earn like $100,000. Oh, yeah. Was it $160,000 or $116,000 or $106,000? Jesus. Yeah earn like a hundred and... Oh yeah. Was it a hundred and sixty or a hundred and sixteen or a hundred and six? Yeah, like Central Otago. Yeah. Not bad. Just eat some stone fruit. Yeah.

Drink some delicious Pinot Noir. Delicious Pinot Noir. Take a weekend, go skiing. Gore District Mayor. This is a story from 2019 when Tracy Hicks was the mayor. This is who the 23-year-old beat. Her salary was $98,500.

Jeepers. So just shy of $100,000. Not shabby. Not shabby. You do have to live in Gore, though, don't you? What? Have to? I've seen some beautiful photos of Gore lately.

When it was snowing. When it was snowing, yeah. Your Sharon, who listens to the show, our Gore correspondent. Our Gore correspondent, yeah. She does a great job promoting Gore. Yeah, and they do have a show sponsor, too, a McDonald's. I'd be fine. Do they really?

Yeah, I believe so. Does Gore have a McDonald's? Yes, it does. Not for them. Big trout statue, country music. Yeah, and you're close to the lakes in central and Queenstown, you know, so it is a beautiful spot. Okay, I'm on board.

You're on board. And they've got the country music fest. Yeah, they do. The Golden Jetta. Let's move the show to Gore. I'd be happy to. It's terrible if the greatest thing about your city is that you're close to Queenstown. The greatest thing about your city

is that you are close to a better city. But go go. Go go. All right, coming up on the show this morning. After seven, we're going to play Macklemore or Less. We've got an item from a thrift shop and we're going to play like the price is right. So you guess how much you think this thrift shop and we're going to play like the price is right. So you guess how much you think this

thrift shop item is. If you bang on two tickets to Friday Jams Live and if you're the closest just a double pass. Okay, we'll give you the chance to call after seven this morning. The top six is on the way. Yesterday the SPCA

World Obesity Day. Yeah. Pet obesity. Pet obesity day. A day to look at your pet and be like... Yeah, Raleigh's on a diet at the moment. Is he?

Yeah, because he's a runt, right? He's a small cat. Yeah. So when you look down on him from the top, he shouldn't get wider in the middle.

He's a bit wide in the middle. He's a bit wide in the middle. A little bit. A little bit wide in the middle. My cat's just wide the whole way down. Yeah. Like a meatloaf.

He's a chunky boy. He's a chunky. But since we put Rolly on a diet, he's killed three animals. Okay, so you forced his hand. We forced his hand. I'm sort of proud of him. It's paleo. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, except those three animals are native, aren't they? No, absolutely not. Rat? Sparrow, two rats. Yeah, that's good numbers. Well, you just feed him a tiny bit of food and then you'll help with the pest control. Yeah, actually. No, he's not helping with the pest control.

He's bringing them in. Oh, okay. They're not in. Yeah, maybe. They're not in the house until he brings them in. Well, the top six dealing with this soon. Yeah, the top six signs it's time to do something about your pets' obesity. All right, it's next.

Silly little poll as well. Are you a light or a heavy sleeper? And apologies to ex-Gore Mayor Tracy Hicks. We wrongly gendered you. You are a man. Oh, my goodness. Sorry, man. Sorry, sir.

Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. I feel like I've just got to apologise to Gaw. Oh, I'm so sorry. For wrongly gendering there. Yeah. Yeah, it's... Tracy.

Tracy, man Tracy. Man Tracy. Always been a man Tracy Tracy. Yeah. It looks like Steve. Stevie. Stevie. Yeah.

Is it Stevie or Steve? No, it's Steve. The female mayor. Yeah, the female mayor. With a more traditionally masculine name. I mean, we're all learning. God, yeah, it's great, isn female mayor. Yeah, the female mayor. With a more traditionally masculine name. I mean, we're all learning. God, yeah, it's great, isn't it? Apologies.

Yeah. And Barry? I'm going to be banned from gore. Barry. Barry's a woman mayor as well. Oh, okay. Of where? I just made it up.

I was just trying to get another example. Lovely Keith up north. Can't be bothered following this lie through any further. Keith, that's a... Lovely lady. north. Can't be bothered following this lie through any further. Keith, that's a... Lovely lady. Lady. Picking off the show with silly little pole. It's an unusual move.

Is the show all out of kilter because I've claimed 18 for Boom Kwefa? It is. Boom Kwefa. If you missed it yesterday. Tune in, 18, Boom Kwefa. You almost lost Boom Kwefa's 18 spot to what is loosely targeted about 8-17 as well. Someone tried to muscle in on your 8-10 again. Well, because you muscled in yesterday and stole my boom coiffer slot.

Yeah. And today, I'm not budging today. 8-10, boom coiffer. We'll see you there. Won't budge for boom coiffer, 8-10. I mean, what this means, I have no idea. I would love if boom coiffer, whatever boom coiffer is, somehow got bumped again. We'll deal with it on Monday.

I won't stand for it. Okay. Hashtag justice for Boom Kwefa. Hayley's been trying to get Boom Kwefa on the show since Monday. Today's silly little poll. Are you a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper? Man, I remember the days of being a heavy sleeper. How nice would that be?

It was good. What changed? I don't know. I wake up when rain falls on the roof. What the hell? It's good. And now I wake up, I don't know, I wake up when rain falls on the roof. What the hell was that? Bloody hell. It's bloody rain, aren't we?

Do you think it's because you live in absolute silence on the farm lead? Maybe. So little noises. Whereas I live in the city and I'm just like

so heavy I just sleep through anything. And you're all dosed up. Yeah. You're on gummies, aren't you? Every night a couple of CBD gummies. The show night a couple of CBD gummies.

He's got it. The show brought to you by CBD gummies. And before I go to bed, a horse tranquiliser. Whoa. Yeah, and then you punch yourself in the head and hope for the best. Horse tranks, suppository up the old. Yeah. A couple of gummies and a punch in the face.

That's the key to a good night's sleep. That's the key to a solid 14 hours, that's for sure. I can't sleep. I wake up busting to pee about four times a night. That's sleep. It's the key to a solid 14 hours, that's for sure. I can't sleep. I wake up busting to pee about four times a night. That's rough. See, I always have to do one. Yeah.

And it's bad when you don't know why you want to wake up and you're kind of tossing and turning. Wriggling, eh? And then you have that dream when you're on a toilet.

Yeah. Mine's touch and go every night. Well, are you a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper? Light sleepers take this one out. But not as big a majority as I thought. 57% of people consider themselves a light sleeper.

43% are saying heavy. Kushla used to be a heavy sleeper, drool included. Then I got a dog. Yes, she sleeps on the bed, Vaughn. I'm not a monster. Yes, you are. You've done that to yourself. You opted out.

You opted out of deep sleep. I like that you're that well-known for being anti-dogs on the bed. Anti-anything. Cats are worse. Sometimes dogs will sleep on the floor at the end of the bed, and they'll sleep there and not make a noise, and occasionally you'll just hear them all roll over. But cats will be like, well, it's 3 a.m.

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. They'll start kneading your face like you're some sort of pizza base. Mine will tap the blind with his paw because it goes tap, tap, tap, tap. And then he'll scratch the side of the bed and I'll be like, oi. And then he'll jump up on me and stand on me. Yes, Rolly stands. And then it just wants to be fed at 3 a.m. I'm like.

Rolly coos. When he jumps up on the bed, he goes. And it wakes you up. Can you get cats shock collars? You know, you can get dogs behavioural collars. Oh, my God. Those collars are bad. Because I've got a cat that won't stop jumping on the bench.

If there's an electric collar for cats, I would absolutely hit him. No, we just clap. No, you squirt him with a water bottle, but then you've got to get the water bottle and get to the bench. No, but see, that doesn't work for my kid because he loves water. He waits in the shower for me to turn the shower on. Yeah. Freak. I think he more loves

to see the bottom of your balls. Yeah, he loves that. Are you saying he's a pervert? He's a pervert. He's a pervert. He jumps up on his hind legs and bats at them. Very saggy.

Right down there. Wack, wack, wack, wack. Steph says, since having kids, now I'm a light sleeper. Before that, nothing could wake me. That actually might have been the first step towards light sleeping. That's why you can never sneak home when you've been out drinking when you're a teenager

because mum will always hear you come home. Yeah, unless, of course, you gave your mum a couple of CBD gummies. And a horse drink. Suppository to punch from the face. She'll sleep right through it. Rach says, my flatmate set off the smoke alarm outside my bedroom door

to see how heavily I really slept and I did not hear a thing and I did not wake up. Wow. You need a smoke alarm, Rachel, in your room above your bed. It needs to be as close to you as possible because if your house catches on fire,

you want as much chance to get out as possible. Shona says, my partner wakes up blinking. I can hear his eyelashes brushing the pillow. That's how lightly I sleep. What? How good is your hearing? That's terrible. You are lucky they don't snore.

Yeah. So lucky. Sheldon says both. I am both heavy and light but I did once sleep through a burglar alarm and the police turning up looking around the house. The grandparents got a photo of the police by me as I was still asleep. Oh, my God. How heavy is that?

That's insane. Wow. I started tracking my sleep on my Apple Watch. I thought I was a heavy sleeper, but apparently I wake up eight to nine times a night. I wouldn't recommend tracking sleep unless you want to obsess over it. Yeah. You track yours, eh?

I track mine on my watch, yeah. It's pretty good. It'll tell you, yeah, if you, like, get up and stuff. Wee-wees. You move. Tessa, heavy enough to sleep right through a car crashing into our house once? That's heavy. Al, I was staying at my Nana's house, an attack on shed,

and I slept through a tornado that made it levitate off the ground. What? These people, imagine being that heavy sleeper. Imagine sleeping on planes. Nothing would wake you up. Oh, glorious. I've got a good tip. Whiskey.

Yeah, and a couple of CBD gummies and a horse drink up the bum and get the flight attendant to punch you in the face once you've got your night mask on. You'll sleep too. Absolutely sorted. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Do you guys have a drawer or anywhere in the house where you've got unused, unwanted electronics items? Not items, cords. I've got some cords. Oh, my God. Some big cords. I had to chuck out of the cords. So you're like, you know, like they're not USBs.

They're those little mini ones. What are those? Or like printer cords. Yeah, USBs. What the hell do I need that for? Like a landline or something? AV cords. Yeah, what is that?

Yeah. HDMI cords. Loads of cords. But you can't throw them out. One day you're going to need that cord. Exactly. I threw a whole lot of cords out when we were taking down the garage. You were rude to Dad.

No, shout out to Dad when he moved to Thailand in like 2000 when did he move there? 10, 11 whenever. Is it vital to the story? To give you an idea of the fact that when he left it there in 2010 those chords were already 20 years out of date. Oh wow. So there was VHS chords

one of those UHF chords. Goodbye. And there was all these chords and he's like, hold on to these. I'll need them. Right. And you know what? I took great pride in just the whole bag. I just looked in there, and I just chucked the whole thing out.

Yeah. The reason I ask is because, now, this stat comes to us from the UK. UK households are hoarding 527 million unwanted electrical items. So that works out about 20 unwanted electrical items per home. E-waste totaling 95 million tons of metals, gold, silver, and palladium. Remember this was the Japanese games, the 2020 slash 2021 Olympic Games.

Japan said we're making all of the metals out of recycled electronics. Oh, that's so cool. Because it's one thing we've got a lot of. Yeah. And so, yeah, all the gold and the gold medals

was retrieved from the backs of mobile phone screens and stuff. Because I read something today that said that it's like five billion phones are going to be thrown away this year. Like unwanted or old phones. And that's enough phones

to wrap around the equator. Oh my God. And there'd be enough stuff in those phones wrap around the equator. Oh, my God. And there'd be enough stuff in those phones that they could reuse. Oh, so many valuable materials. But also, like, if you've got an old phone, you know, like, you telling me, Fletch, about if you've got a phone, an iPhone, and it's in perfect order but you want to upgrade it, you can do trade-ins and they take it off the cost of a new one.

I think some people do trade-ins, yeah. So, yeah, it's a real problem because there's a chip shortage. Not yummy potato chips, but the chips in your technology, your electronics. Microchips. It's the reason a lot of people have been waiting for PlayStation 5s.

You know, a lot of chips are in everything electronic that we use. My cat's got two chips in it. A microchip. Would there be any precious metal in your cat on a microchip? Yeah, they put one in and then it didn't work, so they put another one in. They put another one in on top. Right.

Yeah. Man, your cat's fat. I was just about to say. Your cat's so fat it needs two microchips. No, he's a little boy. I remember Starship used to collect secondhand phones and recycle them. Yeah. And then they found a news article in 2015.

After more than six years, one million phones donated in an excess of $2.3 million raised for the National Air Ambulance. Starship's bowed out of their mobile recycling game. So I don't know who's doing it now. So what should we do if we've gone old? Can you recycle, like, your old phones and your old... I don't think you put it in your recycling bin.

Oh, no, definitely not. Where to take e-waste? Near me. Right. I bet the concourse. We're still going on a concourse if we're somewhere to take it. In the average smartphone, there's 25 grams of aluminium, 15 grams of copper, 0.034

grams of gold. We've got gold in my phone. There's gold in your phone, and there's the same amount of silver, and there's also 0.015 grams of palladium. Ooh, that's what my wedding ring's made out of. This is what my engagement ring's made out of, palladium white gold. Yeah, right.

Well, I mean, you straights are not going to be able to get engaged if you keep this up with your wasteful electronics. The gays love an engagement token as well. I've got a ton of... They're more of a watch. Gay married friends and... What do you think watches are made out of, you silly clown? What do you think watches are made out of?

Precious medals as well. Everything. An engagement token. Chances are it's made out of precious medals. Apart from my friends that got an engagement boat that was just made out of other metals. I had a friend who got an engagement bike, like motorbike. Yeah.

Yeah. Good fun. Engagement boat. Wild. That was their agreed engagement present. Yeah, why spend thousands of dollars on rings? We don't like that. They're not ring people.

Wow. And also, I'm going to get my ring tattooed on. Oh, right. Yeah. That's classy. And then what? Melt it to get my ring tattooed on. Oh, right. Yeah. That's classy. And then what? Melt it down and give it just to the global chip economy. Yeah.

Where do I recycle this trash engagement ring? I don't want a tattooed one. Next on the show, the top six. Yesterday was World Pet Obesity Day. I found a list of North Island locations where you can recycle e-waste. This is becoming a five-minute passion of mine. You've jumped on a cause. Computerrecycling.co.nz.

Oh, yeah, good. And that's got sites. There's like Auckland, Hamilton, New Plymouth. Oh, okay. That's good for you. Go the next. Because normally I just...

A few other spots. Normally I just chuck an old computer monitor in the wheelie bin and then put a rubbish bag over it. Oh, that's good. That's good for the environment. No, I just like to store them in my parents' garage.

Yeah. And I've got four of my old computers in there. Might need that old CRT monitor one day. Don't you throw that out. No. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley from the Panoramic ZM Think Tank. This is the Top Six. Hi there.

Yesterday was World Pet Obesity Day, and the SPCA took that day to remind owners that well-loved is not equal overfed. And animals are suffering senselessly under the guise of being spoiled with treats and extra portions. That's what my vet said to me once. She was like, you know, you just don't want it having arthritis later when it's so fat it can't even hold its own weight. When it's got arthritis

it'll then never treat though. You've got to wrap its arthritis medication in a bit of cheese. I think my one's 6 point something kgs. I haven't weighed him lately. Rolly's should be about 4.5. Well, that's not bad. Your cat's all good.

Yeah. But whereas your cat, Bear, is a chonky monkey. He's a chonky monkey. But he's big band. Come here, guys. This cat, Honey the Cat, was surrendered to the Wellington SBCA. Mid-August weighed 9 KGs, more than twice the weight of a cat her size should be. And she looks about bear's size.

Yeah. Have you weighed your cat? Well, Indy did that thing where she weighed herself, picked up the cat, weighed herself again. Did you not want to do that? God, no. Dude, I did that this week. Do not recommend.

I don't know if my scales can go that. With a fat cat and a fat horn, it might be a bit too much for the scales. But yeah, she reckoned he was rocking at eight. Whoa. Like eight point something. Eight point two, I think she said. And he is fat, but he does this thing

where he sits on his back legs at the cupboard where he knows the biscuits are, and he goes, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor. And I'm always like, you've been fed. Get out of here. I throw them out.

Yeah. We've got a couple of good. Is it? Ginger cats are particularly greedy. Well, yeah, Garfield. Very greedy. I love ginger cats. Loves lasagna.

Bad romance. Loves lasagna, yeah. Now cats would 100% eat lasagna if you put it on a plate for an hour. How good's lasagna, though? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Far out. I just thought about lasagna. It's been so long. I'm salivating. Sade makes his three cheese lasagna. Stop it. I'll believe it once I eat it, you know? Oh, you'll eat it, all right.

And you'll feel your heart go, what's this? The top six signs it's time to do something about your pet's obesity. Number six, when they jump on the couch, you see the couch tense and go, oh. Number five on the list of the top six signs it's time to do something about your cat's obesity. Well, they can't even jump on the couch and the couch looks very relieved. Number four on the list of the top six signs it's time to do something about your pet's obesity.

You're thinking of upsizing the cat door from a medium to a large and it was initially a small. Yeah. But when you get the large cat door, that's when small adults can get into your house. That's when thieves bring their children to work for the day. Number three on the list of the top six signs it's time to do something

about your pet's obesity. Your dog is less dog and more log. That's what it identifies now as a big old log. Number two on the list of the top six signs it's time to do something. You bet your pet's obesity.

Your budgie is going for the flightless bird thing. They're saying it's because the kiwi's so popular and cool, but it's not really. It's an addiction to bread. Fat budgie. Fat budgie. And you can walk around the belly of my cat.

Oh, fat budgie, why don't you fly anymore? Because I identify as a kiwi now. Number one on the list

of the top six signs it's time to do something about your pet's obesity. Your hamster turned its hamster wheel. You know, the one that gets in and does its daily

little cardio. It's turned it into a spinning wheel to work out what snack they'll eat today. So it goes, oh, donuts. Gimme, gimme, gimme. That's a bad sign. But you've got a

very intelligent hamster, so maybe you can talk to them about it. That is today's top six. So obviously these days you can get a scientific Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. So, obviously, these days you can get a scientific explanation for nearly everything. Yeah. You know, why we think about cabbage. Sure. Around 3pm every afternoon.

Yeah. Cabbage with Kewpie mayo. Why that pops into my head is a scientific reason. Cabbage time. It's cabbage time. But when it comes to when is the best time to jump on dating apps, if you're looking for a quick bang bang. Oh, not just like a long-term relationship.

No, no, no. If you're looking for a hookup. Okay. Is the answer anytime? Well, yeah. I mean, you can definitely hop on anytime, but one TikToker has conducted her own research. Okay.

And it's so extensive, I'm taking it as right. Okay. Her goal was to find the most optimal horny hour of the week. Of the week, not just of the day. So we're going to get A day and an hour Because I know In the past We've talked about

Bumble and Tinder Have released Different stats And is it When it's peaking Normally when it's peaking Is like late at night Like 10

Like between 9 and 11 Yeah and they say Thursday and Sunday Yes This is what TikTok Has given The information they've given Right okay

Thursdays and Sundays are the days where it's like peaking like that. Thursday? Is that because you're like the weekend's coming up and you're... So this TikTok worked out

before she conducted her own research. Based on that, she said, well, Thursday's happy horny. Okay. Everyone's excited for the weekend.

They're gearing up, trying to find their matches. Yeah. You know, maybe on Thursday they're setting up for Friday. Okay. Setting up camp.

Sunday, a little bit more like introspective. Hungover. Hungover. You just want a little cuddle. Yeah. Alone on the couch or in bed. Indeed. So she wanted to test this theory out.

She used Hinge. Which one's that? Hinge. What's its special feature? Is that the one that you've got to fill out heaps of information? I'm not sure. Hinge dating app. Unique selling point.

Everyone on Hinge, we apologize. Hinge is a dating app that claims to be the only dating app that emphasizes long-term connections between users. It's aimed at a younger demographic than matched or common in any harmony, such as the demographic using Tinder. Okay. Right. Well, she went on Hinge, and you can super boost yourself

so that more people see you to put that to the test. And then she actually found that Sunday night and Monday morning. Monday morning? I know. So Sunday night makes sense, I guess. But Monday morning, she said, was the best time to get on the apps if you're looking for a little... Who has the time on Monday morning?

Like, don't most people have to go to work? Yeah. She theorised that maybe the Monday gang are lurking online to find someone after failing over the weekend. Right. You know, like, you might have a Tinder date over the weekend, it goes so bad, or a Hinge date or whatever. Yeah.

And on Monday morning, you're like, I want someone else. See, that sounds to me like the most desperate hour. Yeah. Yeah, but what about work? No, this is the thing. Jesus, would you stop with work? I'm just saying,

people have Christ alive. Get your end away. You know what I'm saying? Get some fun. Get some orgasm, for Christ's sake. This is literally it. As you're going,

you turn up to work on Monday, you're like, oof, the whole week. So you sit there on the phone. Not flinch. Apparently you can't bloody wait to get here on a Monday. What about work? What about work?

Jesus. When do these people go to work? Oh, my God. They're using it at work. To distract themselves from the monotony. From the monotony of the day. I thought they were hooking up on Monday morning. They're just organising the hookup on Monday morning.

Yeah. Okay, after work then. Jeez. I don't care. I'm at work. Who cares? Fletch can't fathom doing it at work because this is how quickly it happens for him.

Happening. It's there though, at his house. It's ice. That's how it works. You me? Is that us? Uh-huh. Off we go.

Yeah. So that's why I can't start it at work because I like to finish it at work. And that's not appropriate. Well, we do this every Friday. Final rankings. Yeah. Where we rank something. It's normally food. Normally. Normally we rank something. It's normally food.

Normally. Normally today it is. It's easy. It's our passion. Today, we will argue and bicker over our final, our favourite, Whitaker's flavours. Now, I love Whitaker's chocolate so much, I think this could get physical if we don't agree. I just am on Whitaker's and I'm scrolling through all their products. Yep. I just want to give a

shout out, these aren't in the running, we're going classic blocks, but I want to give a shout out to the Sante Oh! The little Santa. The Oga. The Oga Sante bar. And the peanut slab. Because I had this discussion just yesterday with my daughter Indy who said to me, Dad why is it that I don't like peanuts

but I can't get enough of these peanut slabs? And I said, it's a very good question, where did you get that peanut slab from? And she said, I found it in your car glove box and I smacked it out of her hand

and I said, that is my secret sachet. She just found your chocolate bar and ate it. Yeah. I mean, I had to admire it and then she literally showed me she was doing it.

It's like, Macbeth, man, like he was just shunting. Just absolutely came for the father. Wow. So, youbeth, man, like, he was just... Shunting. Just absolutely came for the father. Wow. So, you know, I know I've got to watch that one now and find a better place for hiding my peanut slabs. So we're not including, and I say this with respect,

Whitaker's, the little measly skinny blocks. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. The Cocoa Lovers skinny blocks. Trash. With the big squares, surface area, but, like, not enough chocolate. No. It's what you take to a dinner party when you know no one's doing pud, but you're like, I'll bring a chocolate block. Yeah.

And there are some amazing flavours. Oh, there are, but we're not ranking those. We're ranking the big, booty, thick blocks. God, these are good. Give me your king size. I've got four, my go-to four. Okay. I've got a go-to four as well.

I'm having trouble thinning it down to a three. Should we do four today? I will say that Hayzella, the new Hayzella. No, it's not included. It's straight in. Yes, it is. It's a specialty block. No, it's straight in there.

It's number two. It's here to stay. Number two? Hayzella will stay. That thing, have you seen the shelves at the supermarket? I know. You can't get it. But this is classic Whittaker's new product craziness. People just

go, remember when people were stopping the trucks delivering that Lewis Road Creamy Whittaker's chocolate milk? They were stopping the trucks. And how when, I know it's not Whittaker's, but when Caramel came out, you just couldn't keep it on the shelves. Yeah, when it made its return as well. Jelly Tip,

my all-time favourite, and I know you'll hate this. I can't believe we work with this dude. I cannot believe we work with him. I love it. I love it so much. Hazella, straight in there. I think it would be

my second favourite. So Jelly Tip's your number one? Yeah, Jelly Tip's my number one. The one you've only had a couple of pieces of is number two. I mean, I've had a few pieces.

That is, oh, have we? I'm sorry, have we smashed a block? I thought the three of us went on a journey to hell. Oh, no, this is pre my journey to hell. Did you take a detour to a journey to hell Oh no This is pre my journey to hell

Did you take a detour to Hazelville? This is pre my journey to health I smashed a whole block White chocolate It's not chocolate It's not chocolate Don't come at me with that But were they blondie or white chocolate?

No white chocolate You like their white chocolate over their blondie Yeah Blondie's very sweet Very sweet And berry and biscuit Those are my four all-time faves.

Berry and Biscuit is an absolute. Is that on your list? It's on my list, yeah. It might even be my number one. It might be my number one. Because they do another one, eh, that I get confused with. Berry Forest. Yeah, no.

I don't need that gummy forest stuff up in here. That's in there, but it just doesn't have the biscuit. Yeah, I want the biscuit. And there's the fruit nut as well. But then sometimes when I eat the biscuit, I'm like, there could be chocolate where this biscuit is. That's true. Imagine someone turning up to your party with a block of chocolate,

fruit and nut. Fruit and nut. Oh, get out. You're uninvited. So my four, number four is hazelnut. Yeah. I love the hazelnut. Same, same, same, same, same.

Such a good block. And they're like, it's hazella, but for people who aren't four years old. Number three, coconut. Yum. Their coconut block is off the hook. You put it in your mouth and you just move it around and it melts and then you get the texture of the coconut. Yum, it's so good.

And then you crunch and get a little desiccated coconut in there. And they do a slab in it. They do a slab. Do they? Yeah, they do it like a peanut slab size. I have not in there. And they do a slab in it. They do a slab. Do they? Yeah, they do it like a peanut slab size. I have not had that. That can be what I replenish my stock with. Mitre 10 at the pack.

I can't help myself at Mitre 10 when I'm on the way out. Every time I grab a three pack for the car. You need a three pack at the slab. You're such a tradie. Such a tradie. Thank you. Dark salted caramel. And at number two.

I love dark chocolate And I love caramel I am Exactly your order Finish off Berry and biscuit I'm exactly the same Exactly the same

Hazelnut number four Coconut Block Number three Dark chocolate Salted caramel They do a milky Yeah

I'm about the dark You gotta get the dark It gets a bit It gets a slight bitterness To offset the extreme sweetness of the caramel. Berry biscuit number one. We're identical, and you've got the trash flavours. What are you? The dry chocolate.

Are you late for course, Becky? Because those mannequins aren't going to cut their own hair. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. I want to talk now about checkout charity anxiety. Because, you know, pretty much maybe the supermarket doesn't, but a lot of places, if you're using a self-serve checkout, they're like, do you want to round up and give the money to charity? The Warehouse does.

The Warehouse does. Briscoe's does. Kmart? Does Kmart do it? Kmart, no, because Kmart's mostly self-checkout. Yeah. Cotton On. Cotton on. Cotton on.

Yeah, a lot of places. And it's big overseas. Because I remember seeing it in Australia and I was like, oh, this will come to New Zealand. And sure enough, it did. Oh, yeah, charity. Oh, easy, accessible charity. They surveyed people and asked them how they felt about rounding up

and being asked as well by cashiers and it goes against like you know the idea would be most people think oh it's just 20 cents or 75 or 80 cents. Trade me. Yes they do. Round up your thing. The thought is it'll make people feel good

but it doesn't. Only they did a study and only 30% of people described any kind of feeling of... Positivity. Yeah, of compassion or feeling nice or positive about the transaction. 70% get very anxious. Pressured. They feel pressured.

They don't like it. 70%, that's a huge number. Do you know who loves giving to charity? Drunk Hayley. So you know those, at some bars and restaurants, they have those little scan pads and you just hit your card on it and it gives $5 to whatever charity. So drunk Hayley, she's like, boop.

And I walk by and I'm like, boop, boop, boop. And then you're like, dude, this happened a couple of weeks ago and I looked at my bank account and I was like, what's this? boop, boop, boop, and then, dude, this happened a couple of weeks ago and I looked at my bank account and I was like, what's this, $5, $5, $5, $5, $5, and I was like,

oh, that's right, they've got one of those Tappy machines. But they're good, they're so good because like part of it is like, I feel like a lot of the anxiety comes from the admin of it, right?

Yeah. And when you're like, it's five bucks or it's, you know, it's 20 cents or rounding up, it's a dollar to charity, like cotton on is always like a dollar. Whereas if that. And when you're like, it's five bucks or it's, you know, it's 20 cents or rounding up or it's a dollar to charity of like,

cotton on is always like a dollar. Whereas if that thing, you're just like, you pay for your scone and then you're like, oh yeah, boop. A drunk Haley, like up at the bar

for more drinks, boop, boop, boop, boop. I guess it's different though if you see that that's a decision you've made in your own head. Yes, you're not prompted to.

Whereas if a human being is saying to you, do you want to round it up and pay a dollar to charity? It's very hard to say no if you don't have the money like you could be really struggling especially with the cost of living at the moment. And you know, if you're going to a store every week and then you're donating, you know

It all adds up. It all adds up. Narbo! That's the nice casual way of saying it. Ask me. Like, I'm just there And that comes to $27.90 Do you want to round that up to $30 And add the rest to charity? Nah, boo

Why not? Hey, not a problem Nah, boo No, had to ask them why not No, you're not allowed to ask them why not You are not allowed to ask them why not It's only $2.10 Nah, boo

Nah, boo But it's going to a really worthy cause. Blind children in four countries. Yeah. Nabo. Homeless blind children in Cambodia. Nabo. With no legs.

And no legs and no parents. Also, you can't do this to me. Yeah, no parents. That's a customer. You can't do this. And they're surrounded by landmines. Yeah, well, how much of your wages are you donating to this charitable cause that you obviously love so much? How much is your company taking out of their own pockets

rather than, you know, depending on people who are shopping here to, you know, make their profit margins, you know, effectively look lower because now they're making a charitable donation so they're paying less tax to our government to look after the people on our shores. Sarah, it's only 40 cents. Nah, bowl. You didn't hear me when I said, nah, bowl.

You tried to make me out to be the bad guy. When we know big corporates are the real bad guys here. Are you looking after the environment that you're polluting with this fast fashion trash? Nah, bowl. Speaking of fast fashion trash, I won't say trash because I know that they've got a whole thing. But cotton on is the worst. And then they give you something for it. Carween, we were talking about this a little bit earlier.

Carween hates the pocket tissues. They always say, oh, would you like to donate? I'm like, yeah, sure, whatever. And then they go, here's some, thank you, thank you so much. Here's a hair tie or here's some tissues. But then I've just purchased that, haven't I? Yeah, you have. Oh, yeah.

A donation is when you give money and you don't get anything back. You don't get anything back but bragging rights on social media. Yeah, that $1. And a hot sausage and white bread with onions and sauce. Yeah. I mean, all these places are doing great, you know, with raising the money for charity. Let's not.

We're not dissing that. Oh, my God, we're not poo-pooing charity. We're just saying that there is some pressure at the checkout for people. Yeah. And, I mean, yeah, according to the study, people don't like it. Yeah. They just feel awkward and under pressure. Yeah, totally.

Somebody messaged in, as someone who works in retail, we have to ask, please don't take it out on us. And we definitely don't take it personally if you say no and we will not persist. Nah. Bowl. Nah, bowl. That's where you go. Nah, bowl.

Nah, bowl. All right. Joining us next on the show. The. Bowl. Nah, bowl. That's where you go. Nah, bowl. Nah, bowl. All right. Joining us next on the show. The lovely. The lovely Dr. Susie Wiles. She's so intelligent, but also lovely. And we'll guilt her into donating to a charity. And we're going to ask her to give us a little hot money.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. The Ministry of Health confirming just a couple of days ago nine new cases of monkeypox in the community, bringing the total confirmed cases to 20. Now seven of those are in Auckland and two in Wellington. There's a bit of mystery around monkeypox still, so we called in the only woman I want to talk to about this,

the lovely Dr Susie Wiles. Good morning, Susie. Good morning. In the nicest possible way, I thought we were done with you. I'd hope so too. It's nice to talk to you about something different, to be fair. Are you having a bit of a reprieve, at least, from COVID chat? Yes. Although, I mean, it's kind of a bit of a reprieve at least from COVID chat? Yes, although I mean it's kind of

a bit sad really because obviously the pandemic is still raging on. Susie, sorry, I don't know if you've heard. It's done. We're done. It's gone. We did it, Susie. We did it. A friend of mine in the UK said public transport and masks are back. Oh, really?

And the part that he lives in, yeah. And he's like, oh, I thought we were done with this. I was like, no, no. Yeah, well, cases are rising again there, and I hate to tell you, but they're starting to rise again in various bits of New Zealand. We must be due for another. One question about COVID.

We must be due for another spin-off. What do they call them? Variants. A spin-off. A do they call them? Variants. Spin-off. A sequel. There are, gosh, about 10 or 12 new variants at the moment all kind of fighting for space. They're just not making the same splash as Delta. I mean, remember how big Delta was. Well, and I think that's because everybody's kind of over it

and so people just don't want to hear about it. And unfortunately, that's not how we solve problems. But anyway, so just, what I will say is this, the ESR has an absolutely fantastic website where they show you the wastewater results. So this is a way that we can know how much COVID there is without testing people, because people, you know,

release it into their poo and various things. Anyway, so you can have a look on there and look in your area and see whether cases are, you know, whether numbers are rising again and then you know, it would be advisable to start popping a mask on and various things like that. I live rurally. I shit into an effluent tank that then goes out into

a field by my house. I'll send you a couple of cotton swabs though. Not me. Too late. They're in the bag. They're in the mouth. Oh, wow. All of these graphs are going up, aren't they? I'm just on the dashboard now. Anyway, let's talk about monkey pox because this is quite a scary thing.

It is indeed, and it's sort of shrouded in mystery. People don't really know how can we catch it. Is it just within the gay community that's sort of an image that's being spread around? Yeah. Is it just within the gay community that's sort of an image that's being spread around? Yeah, so monkeypox is one of a family of these pox viruses, and there's loads and loads of them. There's lots of different animals, and so this got its name because it was very first identified in monkeys. You don't catch it from monkeys.

They're just like us. They're able to catch it. I think, in fact, this one comes from rodents. Anyway, so these viruses are in lots of different parts of the world. And until very recently, they've mostly been in countries like ours or in Europe and North America. If you had monkeypox, it's because you'd caught it, you know, from traveling overseas.

And then in about May, there was a case in the UK where there was no link to overseas travel. And so that was like, okay, that's unusual. And then it turned out that it was the start of this big outbreak that there's been outside of these countries where they normally find it. So at the moment, there's something like 70-odd thousand cases in about 100 countries. And so the thing about monkeypox is that it requires very close contact for it to transmit.

And so in this outbreak in particular, it is happening in the majority in men who have sex with men. So that's a really close-knit community. And because it requires this really close contact and it's usually sort of household contacts who get it or people who have this very close contact, like, for example, when they're having sex, that's where this outbreak is happening. But it could have happened in any community. I guess it just depends on where it sort of first started.

Yeah, right. any community I guess it just depends on where it sort of first started so we've had so so we've had cases here associated with travel to Europe which is you know because of this big outbreak and the news over the last few days has been actually now we've seen in fact up to 20 to 23 cases and we've had 14 cases of community transmission so that shows now that it's moved beyond just catching it overseas and there is now transmission happening within New Zealand. That's awesome. Well, no, so it's no reason to panic because actually one of the really good things

the data from overseas shows us is that if we put the right measures in place, that outbreak, you know, you can bring the outbreak under control and that's exactly what's happening overseas is we're starting to see those case numbers come down. And so the way we find, you know, the way we bring it under control is testing people if they have any symptoms. And if they have it, contact tracing everyone around them so that they're aware that they've been exposed.

And then basically getting people, I mean, the ideal thing would be putting people in isolation, but it's a long isolation for this disease. Well, how long? How long? It's about 21 days. Oh, God, I love three weeks off. So that's not what's being done, right? So it's not what's being done. What's being done instead is because it is only transmitted through this really close contact is saying to people, right, you know, if you have symptoms or if you've been exposed,

please, you know, do not have this really close contact with others. Please wear a mask. And then that will help to stop transmission. It's more than just safe sex, right? Because you could wear a condom, but yet if you're grinding up against someone, your skin's on skin, they're getting it, right? Or kissing? Yeah, well, so it depends on where you're... Okay, so the transmission is through...

You get these lesions, these little blisters filled with the virus. So it depends where your blisters are. So some people get them in their mouths. Other people get them around their genitals. Sometimes you can have them in both. So it kind of depends what sort of contact you're having. So really, the important thing is to is to unfortunately refrain from those kinds of activities for the time that you are in, that you might be, well, that you have the lesions definitely, or that you might be in this, you've been exposed.

Or at least get people to check, because sometimes the lesions can be really, really painful. And other times they're not painful at all. So if you've got a significant other, get them to sort of check you out. Do you, you know, do you have any lesions? Can you find them? And then you really have to refrain from, you know, doing anything with those lesions until they've crusted over

and until the scab has come off. The other way it can transmit is also through contact with contaminated clothing and bedding and things. So there was a really interesting case, I think it was in Europe somewhere where two men had got it

and they sleep in the same bed as their dog and their dog got it from basically sharing their bed. Wow. Yeah. So that's why it kind of, you know, can end up transmitting within households is because, you know, there's a virus on things like towels and stuff. So again, use your own towels. Don't share your bed with anyone.

But the most important thing is that people get tested. And the other really important thing to remember is because, so while we know the outbreak is happening predominantly in men who have sex with men, you know, it's not, it does transmit to other people. And so just because somebody's got monkeypox doesn't mean they're gay. And one of the things that really stops people getting tested is the kind of stigma. Yeah. Because we know that lots of communities have got that stigma against, you know, against gay and bisexual people.

So it's really important that we fight that stigma so that people don't feel like they can't come forward for testing. And if you're concerned about going to your GP, call one of the sexual health clinics. You know, there are other places that you can go to get tested or to seek advice, you know, if you're not comfortable going to the GP. And we saw overseas as well, this was spreading amongst everybody, wasn't it? Kids?

Yeah, everything. Yeah, everyone. Yeah, because, I mean, we know so predominantly it was in men who have sex with men because they're a very tight community, but it can easily, you know, it can transmit within households and things. I was just reading a case today that was actually a baby that got it because it sounds like the whole family had it. And so basically, it was actually, it got infected during the birth because the mother

had it. So, you know, it's not, it can be everyone, but it's not a cause for panic. Okay. So where... It's a cause for, you know, just if you've got sort of's not a cause for panic. Okay, so where... It's a cause for, you know, just if you've got sort of symptoms, if you want to know what the symptoms are. So unfortunately, it starts like everything else. It's like flu-like symptoms, but then they progress to these little lesions.

So if you get these little blisters, and as I said, it can be incredibly painful. And if you get those, then please do seek some help. And please be honest about who your contacts have been, because it's really important that those people are notified to look out for symptoms over the next kind of three weeks, because that's how we stop those chains of transmission and ensure that they don't go any further. For sure. And finally, where are we at with the vaccine?

Because I know we're kind of down the pecking order, aren't we? So this, honestly, this is such a, oh, it makes me really mad. So one of the problems, so there is a vaccine, but there's only one company in the world that makes it. And that company actually shut down their vaccine manufacturing facility earlier this year because they are going to start making some other different types of vaccines. And so they haven't bought it back online

and they're not planning on bringing it back online until next year. So the global supply of this vaccine is really, really limited. And then the US basically ended up buying huge amounts of what was available. So it's not that we've been late to the party. It's that actually globally, this is in, you know, in really short supply and the company involved were not interested in letting anyone else make it. So it's another one of these, like how, how in this day and age, especially after what we've been through with COVID, can this be an acceptable way to make, you know, medicines and vaccines?

It's just ridiculous. So that's, yeah. So what I heard is they're hoping there might be some doses by December. Okay. But again, we can stop this, you know, so vaccination would be fantastic because that would stop people getting infected and this is very effective, but we can stop it in other ways.

It involves people getting tested, you know, and then basically keeping themselves to themselves for that period while they're infected. Wise advice from a very wise woman who we absolutely adore talking to. Dr Susie Wiles, thank you so much for talking to us this morning. My pleasure. If you're looking for a new Facebook group, you know, a new Facebook group to join, might I recommend Time Travel?

Do you have to be accepted into this? Time Travel Facebook page. Do they ask you three questions to make sure you're an authentic person who's interested in time travel? Yeah, I'm sure they do. Okay. What's your favourite time travel movie? Back to the Future.

Back to the Future. Flawless. 32.5 thousand members. Okay. They were having a chat, as they do, about, this may shock you, time travel. Wow. And a guy, a user, Aaron, said, what materials, energy and budget will we need to make a real time machine

that lets you travel back into the past and into the future? And then a fellow enthusiast, Alex, said, well, a humble, a tentative budget, 100 million might suffice. It's actually cheap. The materials, superconducting magnets, what kind of spaceship, it depends. However, without the boosters, we might not know how far we could go back. The energy of magnets are used

and this energy amount can be assessed in Teslas. Optimization might reduce. Anyway, on he goes. And he says, actually, this is all possible. However, everyone's going, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it'll be fun, man, time travel, time travel. There is a clause. He said, if you go back in time, you would effectively have to stay there.

Right. So whatever time you went back to. Yes. Right. Because he said the moment, butterfly effect, we talked about this. The moment you arrive in a time, you are part of the past. And so the future changes. So you no longer exist in the time that you've left.

You've undone the future. You've undone that. That's a generally agreed upon situation. This is what I wanted to ask firstly to you and then open it up to our callers. Where would you go if you knew you could never come back back and it would be like for you, Vaughn, you'd be saying goodbye to your family and then you would leave. I don't want to go.

Well, you have to. You have to go. I don't want to go. Sade is it. Maybe you could meet her in the past. Maybe. Oh, my God, what if she didn't like you the second time around? Oh, my God, you were like.

But I'd be way older than her like I'd be way older than her. How far back am I going? Yeah, you would be. When we met in 2004, I'm no longer 22, I'm 40. Creep. So yeah, she's a hot young 19 year old working at Wildpear.

Lippy. And I rock it and I'm like, hey babe. She'd be like, yuck. Yuck. Great. Okay, well, let's say you can take your family with you. We're going alone, Fletch. Where would you go?

Wait, you have a partner. I don't want to take my family with me. We're not going anywhere. We're not going anywhere. Okay, just... I forgot about Aaron. For the sake of this hypothetical situation, you get in your one-way time machine.

Where are you going? The process is miserable. I'd go back to-way time machine. Where are you going? The price is miserable. I'd go back to the 90s. Ooh. Is that all? Because then I can remember everything that's coming up, all the stocks to buy. No, but you've changed everything by going back.

You've changed it. You don't biff tan in this situation. What are you doing now? What are you taking the sports almanac back for? I'm going to buy the stocks. I'm going to buy housing in the best suburbs. Oh, my God. I'm going to buy so many houses.

And then you'll wait for the markets to go up, and you'll know when they're going up. Go back to the 1970s and buy up a whole lot of Ponsonby, Herne Bay, and everyone's like, what are you buying those drug dens for? You're like, you wait. You wait. Yeah, exactly. You wait.

I would go back to the 70s. 70s into the early 80s. Just an amazing time for music, concerts. Yeah. You know, I just had my boobies out at a concert, you know. You can't do that these days. Well, you can. Everybody's scared of the nipple.

Everyone's so afraid of the damn nipple. We all got them. Some of us have more than two. I don't know what time I go back to because, like, I like the idea of the Wild West, but I die real quick. Oh, you die real quick. I die real quick. Oh, you die real quick. I die real quick. Yeah, you're not a quick hand, are you?

No, exactly. I'm slow. I'm a big, clumsy, slow hand. Yeah. Imagine if you stuffed up and you missed a number when you were boop, boop, boop into the machine and you went back and dinosaurs were next to you and you're like, oh, my God, there's no humans. Oh, no.

I don't know who to talk to. Or you're going for like 1889, except you just go 889 and then there's nothing around. There's nothing. BC or AD. Yeah, yeah. I don't know who to talk to. Or you're going for like 1889, except you just go 889, and then there's nothing around. There's nothing. BC or AD. Yeah, yeah. It would be so boring.

Anyway, we want to take your calls. I had a dial ZDM text as well, 9696. Where would you go if you can't return? Back in time. So you can pick any date. And to remove the sort of moral conundrum or the heartstrings, you can take your family. But you're not coming back.

You can take one member of your family. Okay. Do you get 23 kgs checked luggage? Yeah, you can take stuff. Yes, you can take your cat, for God's sake. I don't think you should be allowed to take anything because you could be taking something like an iPhone back. And it will stuff it all up. And it will ruin everything.

But I don't want to go back. No, you arrive nude. You arrive nude. Like the Terminator. Like the Terminator. And you land in the Terminator pose and then the music plays. Do, you arrive nude. You arrive nude. Like the Terminator. Like the Terminator. And you land in the Terminator pose, and then the music plays. And you slowly stand up. And you've got to go find some clothes.

All right, well, it's a complete hypothetical, but if you could jump in a time machine. Hey, this guy reckons he can do it. Okay. I mean, at least he's not on a QAnon Facebook page. Pretty close to it. He's right next door. He's right through the wall. They can hear each other talking to it. He's right next door. He's right next door.

They're through the wall. They can hear each other talking. 0800 dials at M-Texas. Well, 9696. If you could travel back in time, knowing you can't return to the present, where would you go? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Right now, though, talking about this is actual science, really. This is huge technology news. Yeah, a guy reckons he can make a time travel machine. However, you can go back to wherever you want to go, but you can't come back. You've got to stay there. You've got to stay. So we wanted to know,

if you could go back knowing you cannot return to the present, where would you go? Edward, whereabouts? Hey, how are you guys? Good, really good. Bloody good. Well, I just thought it would be really interesting to go back in time to see, for instance, the construction of the pyramid.

But what part of it? Because they took bloody years to make. Yeah, they took ages. You're just going to pull up a deck chair and watch them get made, are you? Oh, you're probably right. I'll end up a slave and I'll end up making it myself. Yeah. Because I'm the same, right?

There's all these moments in history you want to see, but you then have to stay in ancient Egypt, as you say, and Edward, you've got big slave energy. You know? That's true. You don't strike me as a pharaoh, you know? Well, what about

going back to the birth of Jesus, or perhaps when he was resurrected, looking at those sorts of times and seeing how... When he was resurrected. I feel like you might arrive and be disappointed by it.

Yeah, then you're like, oh, yeah, there he is. And then you're like, oh, now I'm here for the rest of my life. Yeah. All right, you're right. All you get there and nothing's happened. Yeah, you're like...

You see some guy with a ripping hangover and a dart in his mouth, and he's like, you guys aren't going to believe this. You chucked me in the bloody cave for three days. I slipped off this rib. Right, what about the... Would you go back to the dinosaurs?

Yeah, well, that's the other option. Going to the sea of dinosaurs, I think that would just be absolutely incredible, but I'm probably going back. I'll end up getting eaten. All of these viruses, all the bacteria that we don't have anymore that were back then, you know,

we could be dead within a day. Just let Edward see a brontosaurus. You know, but once he's seen it, then he's just hanging out with a brontosaurus. And then your food, really, aren't you, for the T-Rex? You know what you'd love, Edward? The History Channel. It's a little TV channel.

It's got all of this shit that you want to go see. And you don't have to go back, do you? You don't have to go back. You can have a beer and a sandwich while you watch it. Thanks, you're cool, Edward. Time travel, you can go one way, you can go back, but then you can't come back to now. That's the rule.

We're stuck in the past. Where would you go? I'll tell you what the most popular one is. I'd go back to the most recent massive lotto win. Yeah. And get it the week before it was won. Would you go back when it jackpotted and no one had won that week? Yeah.

So they're talking if it got won at $34 million, they'd go back and do the $30 million week. So they were the only winner. That's good, and now you're only a week older, you know? Yeah, that's true. If you're going back a week, you're fine. You just pick up life as it was. Yeah.

Forever altered, though, because now you're a millionaire, and that could actually lead to a world of pain. Yeah. Somebody said I'd go back a week. When I got through for Secret Sound, and I would have said egg. Oh, yeah, I'd go back a week when I got through for Secret Sound and I would have said egg. Oh, yeah. It was a slightly. Lots of people going back and meeting relatives

or getting to say goodbye to someone they didn't get to say goodbye to. It's quite a popular one. And that's quite recent too. So if you lost someone within the last few years, you know, you might age five years. But imagine if a friend turned up. Oh, yeah. If you go back. You'd have to kill your other person.

Sure. Would you? Would you hook up with yourself? Well, it's just playing with yourself, isn't it? Wait, you'd hook up with yourself? I'd give it a go. Oh, no. What if you're hysterical impaired?

Oh, my God. You you just figured it out. It's a, I mean, but then would I be able to join myself and my wife in bed? Well, she'd have some questions. She'd be like, why is there another Vaughn here? I'd be like, it's a long story, but Aaron on a Facebook group called Time Travel invented one-way time travel. Yeah. So here I am. Here's someone here who would have gone back to the day of the Kennedy assassination.

And they would have... But then you're stuck there. Stopped the other guy. Why? Why would you have stopped them? Become an historic figure himself for being the guy that stopped the assassination. Oh, here's a message. But it would never have been a big deal.

You don't remember who stopped the assassination against like Reagan and stuff. You just know that somebody did. It's not a big deal. The guy that did it is a big thing and you don't know what's the butterfly effect of stopping an assassination

of a major political figure. But also, you're going back to stop the assassination of one person. Why not go back and stop a dictator? Yeah.

Hitler. One of many. Someone's just messaged in saying, in stew, you are from my own heart, queen at Wembley in 86. You'd go back for a concert. Hell, yes I would, queen at Wembley in 86. You'd go back for a concert. Hell

yes I would, Queen at Wembley 86. For everything. You're giving up everything. You've still got to start again. I love that band. Play ZM's Fletch for the nightly. Play ZM. Now look, on Monday, on Sunday

in fact, Sunday, we did prep for the show. We all scanned the internet for interesting things to share with you, our listeners. We care. We spend our weekend thinking about this. And I put on a list that I thought, oh, you know, we've done this a lot. It's exhausted.

It's not going to make it, but I'll put it in to bump up, you know, pad out the email a bit. You know, it's not going to make it, but now it looks like I've done a lot more work. Yeah, that is exactly how I also approach every evening's preparation email. Yeah. It's been noted, Vaughn.

That's not going to make it. That's not going to make it. That's not going to make it. Fact of the day. It's noted, Vaughn. It's noted. On Wednesday, the article came across my eyeballs on a different website. And I thought, you know, I need some padding again. But I read it. And I was like, actually, this is better than any other version that we've done of this.

So I vouched for it. And I said in the email, hey, guys, this is actually pretty funny. Yeah. I really think we should include it. Okay. For example, and I put hyphen, boom quiefer.

Yeah. It failed to catch the attention of the group. So Thursday morning, I, as we sat around and we chat, what are we going to put in the show? I said, guys,

let me do this list. And he was like, no, we're not doing the list. And I said, please guys, boom quiefer. Hear me now,

boom quiefer. All we know is this is a list and it's got boom quiefer on it somewhere. Boom quiefer. Hear me now, Boom Kwefa. All we know is this is a list and it's got Boom Kwefa on it somewhere. Boom Kwefa. Then I was, it was booked in. It was in the sheet. I was looking forward to it. It was going to be on the show yesterday. Yeah. And then Vaughn said, actually this happened with me and the girls the other day. And they

said, we'll put that 18. Yeah. The pickle, the apron that looked like your doodles. And I want to say, Vaughn, the delivery of your story was fantastic. I enjoyed myself. Entertainment. It was, you would say that we were justified in bumping Boom Kweefa yesterday. We were justified in putting him in the shock. Because my kids created some more content. August is doing magic tricks now.

Oh, my God. Dude, we need to talk about this. Because I was texting Sade last night like, what is happening? Everyone is so angry. Do you want to encourage your kids into that kind of industry? I think so. Magician industry? I think so. Magicianry. I think so.

I had to really tell her that you really have to spice things up. You can't just be like that there, that there, that there, that there, that's gone. Yes, hands. Well, anyway, so I was steamrolled and I didn't get to have my boomquefa. And so I said, you cannot keep doing this to me. I will be heard. Listen to women. Boomquefa, 8.10 Friday. And then we were worried that if, after she took that approach,

that this is, you know, silencing a woman. Yeah. I don't want to be cancelled. Yeah. Personally. So here we are. I'm an ally. Yeah, but we've got some big news.

Yeah, I know. And it's bigger than Boom Kwefa. That I'll admit. But it's next. That's next. Because we couldn't do this because it would be silencing a woman. It would be. So I have a list of their worst baby names.

Boom, Kwefa. I have a list of the worst baby names. And we've heard this before. It's like Keith. Don't call a kid Keith and all this. But then I read this list and honestly, these are my favourite. Okay. I'm going to give you an example.

There's 50 of them. I'm not going to give you all 50. Olivia, beautiful name. Not when you spell it A-L-I-V-I-Y-A-H. That's more like A-L-I-A.

Yeah. That's on the list. Also on the list, Jedi. One of my personal favourites, Anus. A-N-O-U-S.

Anus. Does that mean something else though though, in like another? I know. I was like, is it like Hebrew or something? There's Anoushka. I know an Anoushka. I know an Anoush. And an Anook, not an anus.

I don't know about Anook. I don't know an anus. Also topping my personal list, I've been through all of them. I've slaved over this, Beverly. Beverly. My mum's called Beverly've slaved over this, Beverly. Beverly. My mum's called Beverly. No, she's called Beverly, not Beverly. Your mum is Beverly.

Beverly. Beverly. And by the way, these have all been verified. These are real names. They're not just made up. Right. Hoopla. Beverly.

Beverly Sproul. Imagine. Also, Vajonica. Vajonica. You should have led that instead of. Vajonica Vajonica You should have led that instead of Vajonica. Yeah, what do you know the Beverly, it's between your Vajonica and your Anup. Yeah man I've got a Vajonica appointment after this

Yeah, God I You could have just let a stranger look up your Vajonica Yeah, absolutely. Now there are some classic names on there, your Bart's, you know there's your Adolph's, your Boris, all that kind of stuff. But, of course, my favourite, following closely behind L'Oreal, is Boom Kwefa. B-O-O-M-Q-U-I-F-A.

Boom Kwefa was registered as a baby name twice in Australia. What? I was expecting America. There are two. Can you go on Facebook? I'm going to search. I found my Facebook. I am at all connected to a Boom Kweefa.

I just Googled Boom Kweefa. There's Boom Kweefa Johnson. She's the chief executive officer of Kylie Cosmetics in Wichita, Kansas. What? No, they've got to be fake profiles. That's a fake profile. That's a fake profile. He's got no friends.

His profile and the name is Boom Kwefa Laquanka. Anyway, I don't want us to forget Boom Kwefa because at some point you never know. I mean, it's not in the plan, but maybe I'll have a baby and I'm happy to lose a bit and call my baby Boom Kweefer courtesy. Producer Gerard, I know yesterday when we were leaving work, the lovely barista hit you up, didn't she? And said, I'm waiting for Boom Kweefer, can you tell? I know it was Vaughn and I.

Yeah. Oh, no, I was there. You were there? We were all there, we were second auditions. And she said, can you tell me what Boom Kweefer is? Can you just ask if it was worth the wait for 24 hours? Because she said tomorrow is not the ZDM radio day in the iHeartRadio lounge. It'll be one of the other ones.

What's she saying? Not worth the wait. No, not worth the wait. Hannah, what? What? So I feel somewhat justified and kind of. I think they've got the hits on out there. I think Boom Kweef was well worth it.

That's, um... I mean, I'm... Yeah, okay, Boom Kweef. I liked it, I liked it. I'm going to give you two more. Cletus and Ebola. Anyway, if there are any Boom Kweefers listening, text us 9696 with verification of your ID.

Next on the show, we've got some sad news. We do indeed. Nicki Minaj. This is the song to play before sad news. Keep it up inside. There's some sad news to announce now on the show. Oh my gosh. Oh, blunt.

Is this blunt? Yes. This is blunt. Lovely. She's washed her hair especially. She has. She's even chucked on a blazer, hasn't she? She's put on a professional blazer because she's very professional.

The floor is yours, executive intern, Anya. No. Executive producer of the show, Anna Henvest. Good morning. Hello. Hoo-wee. Just come closer into the mic. Okay, sorry, it's my first day.

Yep. I have decided after six years that I'm going to leave. There it is. To be honest, it took a lot longer than I thought. We laugh. Have you finally had enough? Yeah, I've had guts full of water. The tears, it sounds like she's sad to be leaving.

The tears of joy, pure joy. You should see the smile on her face. Yeah. Now I'm going to move to Sydney and work a nine to five, work in podcasting, so I have some sleep-ins. Oh, you son of a... B-word, sleep-ins. Yeah, it's going to be good.

Eight hours sleep, here I come. At least when Caitlin left, she was going to be a shift nurse. So you knew she was still going to be sleep deprived. You're going to be getting eight to nine hours of solid sleep a night, waking up like an ordinary person, probably having breakfast before you leave home. Obviously, Anna, this is like, it's a great job opportunity for you and your lovely partner has already had an amazing opportunity over in Sydney and you guys have been doing

long distance. So it's very sad for us but extremely exciting for you guys. Yeah. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make and you guys are like my family. Vaughn, you're like my super annoying big brother.

Thank you. But at the end of the day, at four o'clock in the morning, you see every side of someone and I love you guys to bits and it's been a really hard decision to make. We are pretty good. I can see what she's saying, guys.

I truly, I mean, obviously, I mean, these two, you've worked with them the whole time. I've only been here for 10 flawless months. But I already, I mean you're the only radio producer I've worked with, but I already feel like we are losing, we're losing a limb to our lovely group of six. You're such an important part of the show.

You look after us so well. And it's almost unimaginable. No, because you lack sincerity. And I know that we all feel the same. I save sincerity for the last day. Because today's not your last day, right? No, two and a half weeks left. Two and a half magical weeks.

But truly, you're just an incredible producer and a wonderful team member. Your first job at a broadcasting school was here, right? Yeah. So I taught you everything you know. Oh, my God, Fawn. It's not about you. It feels.

So again, the sincerity. So really, I got this job in podcasting, guys. You got, right. We all got this job in podcasting. Yeah, wow. Yeah. Well, you're going to leave a big hole in the show. I'm really going to miss you, Hayley and Fletch.

So much. It's because she won't miss me because I've got news for everybody. I'm going with it. Oh, God, Christ, no, please. I'll do anything. No, he's not. Jared, Carl and Georgia, my three best pals out there. I love you to bits.

And it's going to be really hard to not see you guys every day you will I'll send you a photo of my face every day if you want Vaughn again not about you

she's moving countries to get away from you it's going to be really hard to not see our faces every day specifically those three those guys sorry I hate to use this

as an opportunity but you can listen to us on the iHeartRadio any time you want in fact we've got a podcast you're probably aware opportunity, but you can listen to us on the iHeartRadio any time you want. In fact, we've got a podcast. You're probably aware of this. So you're going to be making podcasts like in Australia against us. Yeah.

I'm going to take you down. Who have you got on the books? Labo, Babby and Stavdev? Because if you're looking to commission two white men with opinions. I know a couple. I know a couple. I think white men only travel in pairs. They do. Having strong opinions. I know a couple. I know a couple. I think white men only travel in pairs.

They do. Having strong opinions. They do. Yeah. Oh, you've got that new rugby league show. Ready, gab, gab,

bozzo. Oh my God. Talking about the Penrith Panthers. Go back to Boom Queefers. The lifestyle show, the lifestyle podcast. Anna was so nervous about doing this announcement

that she, having resisted Boomqueefer all week in the spreadsheet, demanded we do Boomqueefer twice instead of making this announcement. Because I know you love this job and you love this team and you've done such a fantastic job with this show. And we're going to miss you so dearly. But silver linings, because I

do love, I'm a glass half full guy. Yeah. I am now going to be able to sublet my car park to somebody else. That you use my car park. Your car park's up for grabs. Yeah. I hope we're not still on out there because you know that I know you do that. No, I carpool with Anna every day.

Every morning. Blue pole. That doesn't make sense. You don't live anywhere near each other. She goes out of her way because she gets a car park to use my car park. Oh, I see. This is good. This news sucks for us, Anna. It does. So when will your last show

be? Wednesday the 2nd of November. What, you're not even doing a Friday? Nah, I thought finish it mid-week. What? Unbelievable, this generation. Unbelievable. It's no special Wednesday. It'll be a treat.

I won't cry. I don't think. You are... I will say this song, I didn't choose the title of this song. Oh, Jesus! Oh, no. It was just in there. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's our fact of the day is I knew this. But Jesus, I'm a genius. No, I knew this, but then I didn't know people didn't know this. Okay, and what is it? I saw this and I was like, oh, yeah. And then I said to my wife, I was like, do you know how nuclear power plants make power? And she's like, it's the green stuff.

It's nuclear, isn't it? Yeah. And I was like, yep, that heats up. Mm-mm. There's nuclear in it. Yeah. And I was like, yep, that heats up. The control rods like heat up heaps. And she's like, yeah, that creates electricity. Yeah.

No. I said it spins a turbine. Like, just like hydroelectric power does. Like a wind tunnel. You didn't know this? No, I didn't. Yeah, no. So this is today's smack to the day.

Right. Because it's, maybe I knew it because, I remember I looked it up when I was learning about Chernobyl. I was like, how did it explode and what went wrong? And it got too hot. It got too hot. By the way, can I just say I'm still alive and I went to Chernobyl.

Did you go to Chernobyl? Yeah. I've got a third nipple. Are you saying it's a conspiracy? The entire thing was a conspiracy? I'm not sure what. Or are you, when I touted myself as a genius for already knowing this, you're touting yourself as some sort of superhuman for resisting nuclear.

Yes, that's it. Right. So you're the strength, I'm the brains, you're the charisma. I'm the strength, brains. You're the whole package. I've got it all, baby. And boobies. Well, there's no denying that. Wow're the whole package. I've got it all, baby. And boobies. Well, there's no denying that.

Wow, he's choking now. So the water goes in. Yeah. This is why nuclear power plants are always beside lakes or rivers. That's how that three-eyed fish on The Simpsons. Yeah, yeah. So the water goes in and then these control rods, you know, hyperheat the space.

Yeah. And the water turns to steam and it shoots through a turbine that spins it and that creates electricity. And then the super hot like steam and water flows back into, you know, that big chimney. Yeah. And that's the cooling tower and it cools and then the water vapor comes out the top.

So it's only the steam coming out the top of a new power plant. Wow. Yeah. So it's I don't. Why did you think it was just green goo? No, no, I knew it was water. Yeah. Sade was like, well, I've never thought about it. I thought I'd leave it to them. She's got

a great point. It must be lovely to have that ability because I'll wake up at two o'clock in the morning and I'll be like, how does that work? And then have to Google it. And then that's me for the night. I'm up from 2, can't turn the brain off once again. But I wish I could wake up in the middle of the night and be like, how does that?

Ah, leave it to them. I trust them. Leave it to the professionals. They've made a couple of mistakes, but, you know, leave it to them. But, no, I don't have that sort of inquisitive brain. So today's fact of the day is that nuclear power plants make power by a spinning turbine, not the green stuff. Just going through a tube.

Not just the green stuff. And blasting off electricity. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. This is something so dear to my heart as the daughter of a woman who only uses this to respond to literally everything. I've mentioned it before

and I see that she's not online and I do hope she's listening because young people, millennials and Gen Zs, one, thank you so much for calling us young, have taken online, it was spurned by a Reddit thread saying, can people stop using the thumbs up emoji as a response to literally everything? I love the thumbs up emoji.

If it's as an acknowledgement of like, yep, I've seen this. Like sometimes in the group chat, it'll be like, do you guys want to do this tomorrow? And I'll just thumbs up it or heart it, done. And then that's an acknowledgement. Absolutely. But you wouldn't use it in the case of saying, I don't know, for example,

Mum, did you see me on TV last night doing my set? Oh, wow. You've got to say, yes, I did. I saw it. But that's what you get from the older generation. You write a text message to Mum and they'll reply, yep, good. Yes, I know.

So young people are saying it comes across as really passive aggressive, super rude if someone just sends you a thumbs up, nothing else. Oh, that's too bloody sensitive. You know, back in my day your father didn't tell you he loved you. Your bloody boss didn't tell you you'd done a great job. No, I know. Your wife only ever bloody

wanted to whinge at you. What do you want? Too much pampering. That's one of those comments on the thread. It says, damn, I'm embarrassed to be a Gen Z. It's just a thumbs up. Don't search so deep. Yeah. But it's so impersonal.

And I think that's the thing. That's the reason I hate it. It's such a discredit to what you've given them that they're responding to. Yeah. And it's so lazy. You know, is this a good yep? An angry yep? You know, it's like when someone says okay

and you're like, oh no, you've got to give me more than okay. Yeah, yeah. Hey, are you able to do this? Okay. Yeah. Is that okay? Or is it okay? Or is it okay?

You know, I need more. I need more. I need hearts. I need Xs. I need something that gives me the tone. That's why I use a lot of exclamation marks in my emails to soften the blow. Exclamation marks don't soften a blow. They heart.

Stop yelling at me. Stop yelling at me. Yeah, yeah. Hey, thanks for getting in touch. Exclamation mark I do, which is like, hey, thank you so much for getting in touch. Oh, no, see, that sounds. I do a lot of ha-has instead of full stops. You're softening yourself.

Yeah, yeah. Ha-ha. What of ha-ha's instead of full stops. You're softening yourself. Yeah, yeah. Ha-ha. What a ha-ha. To soften the blow like, hey, I really didn't like the way you spoke to me yesterday. Ha-ha. Yeah, so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum. Ha-ha.

Ha-ha. It's just a habit. It's an accident. I might have a formal complaint to make about my workplace. Ha-ha. Ha-ha. So the thumbs up emoji. I'm saying it. Stop it. Stop using it. Stop using it. You. I'm saying it.

Stop it. Stop using it. Stop using it. You passag. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley's Monday Maestros. Well, Monday Maestros, come Monday, we're going to deliver you our homework.

We get to set a challenge over the weekend. You haven't won one yet. I'm an absolute loser. I've never won one. Hey, hey. Hey. Hey. You just need to actually work on it.

Not be a loser. Yeah, but it's very hard to master a language over a weekend, isn't it? We don't have to master it. You can master it. You said it better than two other people, which you fail to do every week. Yeah, but also I treat this much like my school life and that I don't do homework. Yeah. Well, I'd be surprised if you didn't do homework

because you don't go to school, so. Producer Anna, what's our homework this week for Monday Maestro's? Well, this I think you might actually have a shot at because you have twice the opportunity to prove yourself. Oh, what does that mean? Now, Fletch.

Is it something to do with my tiny nipples? If it's a nipple competition, that's not fair. No. I'm going to bring my back to sort. And mine are slightly grated down from a gym top. You're running. Oh, right. No, it's not nipple based this week.

But we should do one with nipples because I've got the smallest nipples. They are very small. So petite. I know. I saw myself in the mirror the other day. I was like, God, those are tiny. Little beans. Yeah.

So you have been working on your character work. Oh, no. I can't do character work. Oh, no. I can't do character work. This is, you are now being handed a script from my favourite movie, Bridesmaids. A 2011 hit. And Vaughn will be playing

Lillian. Hayley will be being... Who is Lillian? Maya Rudolph. Oh, yeah, okay. Hayley will be Annie. And Fletch will have two opportunities to prove himself as Helen and the flight attendant. Now again is this slightly advantageous to me?

I have a degree in acting. So you'll be judged harsher and also everyone will be based on their ability to learn lines. I have so many lines, a whole third page is me. I know, I know me I know I know I know

do you know learning lines is my secret power well we'll see Monday 8.40 we'll see how do you look at my lines I'm

this is okay you've got as many as me how do you learn lines like what is the way that actors do it I'm just so good at that you just read it you just say it out loud

again and again and again so many people have different ways but I'm I can just read it and it's in out loud Again and again and again So many people have different ways But I can just read it And it's in I don't know That's just my superpower There's swear words in here We'll take those out

Oh goodness It's a family show And I know you're leaving But gee You don't need to sink the ship Before you leave God yeah How many C's can you drop

In one script Yeah I feel like you've actually Put most of these in Yeah I don't remember these In the movie Well they are in pen, aren't they?

Yeah. Okay, well, there you go. That's our homework Monday maestros. We're learning a script. We're learning a scene from Bridesmaids, and come Monday we will deliver that scene for you. Eat my dust, mate. I've got a degree in acting.

Again, this famous Hayley. Unbelievable. Okay, if you had to rate, review, or marry Fletch, Vaughn, or Hayley, what one would it be? Okay, I would had to rate, review or marry Fletch, Vaughn or Hayley, what one would it be? Okay, I would marry Hayley. I would have sex. Wait, which one is it? No, no, no, no.

It's only rate, review, marry. Oh, okay. No comment. If I have sex with the podcast, I don't know how that would work. Give us a sexy little review though. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.