ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 15th August 2022

Episode Date: August 14, 2022

*Explicit Intro*Shoey  Top 6: Pete  Parental Wingpeople  Lisa Kudrow in NZ?!  Hayleys Dating App Tips  Asking for a Friend  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. I ain't worried about it right now. Hello, welcome to the Fleach, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the McDonald's app and earn rewards on your coffee. Hayley's just been confronted with the fact that she's now a screen time addict. 23%! On last week.

I got my little Monday ding on my watch. Oh, do you know what it'll be? Because we went away for work. You would have been on your screen on the plane. On the plane. At the airport. And I also filmed a couple of shows. And I always sort of have my phone sitting there and da-da-da-da-da-da.

And then... All excuses. Look up. Look up, man. Look up, man. Look up. Look up. Look up.

What are you doing? I'm booking for this fucking BSA stupid fucking seminar. Now tell me what this is because this is my first ever Broadcast Standards Authority seminar. Yeah, so the Broadcast Standards Authority have changed a few. As of July 1st, there is no longer a standalone radio code. Free-to-air television, radio and pay TV are now all subject to the same standards. However, each standard may apply will vary. What?

How each standard may apply will vary between broadcast mediums. Did you? Can I say the C word on the podcast? It's quite full on. You could. You can. It's quite a defensive word to say. Oh, no, no.

Jared's telling me no. Why can't we say that word on the podcast, Gerard? Is it because we don't have a warning? I can't hear you. No, your thing's not working. Your end. It's your end. Test one.

There you go. Jared's saying why not? Because then I have to put an explicit tag on the podcast. That would draw me towards the episode. It also cuts off a lot of perhaps younger viewers. If you liked this, you might episode. Yeah, but that would pull me, that would draw me towards the episode. No, but it also cuts off a lot of perhaps younger viewers. Like if you liked this, you might like. Yeah. Underneath there.

Like you might like the Wiggles, you might like Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. But if you say the C-bomb, there's no way that referral's happening. Okay. Well, because I was wondering if the TV and the radio broadcasting standards authority are like merging if we get a quota.

Because in TV, there's a C-bomb quota. What do you mean? So depending on your hour, if you've got a season, say, of 10 episodes, and you are at a later time, so post 8.30, you have a quota of C-bombs that you can say in your season. Oh, I didn't know that. Because I used to go on, I'll say it, seven days, and they'd say, now, hey guys, we've got no C-bombs

because, you know, Die Henwood's used them all. Wait, would they drop the C-bomb? Oh, every episode. They'd go into a live record a lot. No, but it wouldn't end up on TV, would it? Every now and then you're allowed to a block. What? To a block or something like that.

Are you kidding me? They let the C-bomb through. Yeah, so I'm just going, you know, is our C-bomb quota coming up to meet that? I don't, well, we don't have a C-bomb quota at all. We can go to zero. And a negative C-bomb quota. But yeah, there's all these rules which have been set forth in an email. But now I have to go to a meeting about it. But now I have to go to a meeting about it.

Why do I have to go to a meeting about it? It's been in an email. I can read this email. I would now take five minutes to read this email, of which is all common sense. I know these rules. Have you ever been in trouble? Yeah. A couple of times.

What have you seen? We don't talk about it. Okay. Oh, no, nothing major. Well, one major. A couple of majors. It wasn't our fault. A couple of semis.

A couple of semis. A couple of semis. No hard stiffies. Yeah, way back in the day. No big, like, yeah. No big stiffies. Just a couple of semis. One definitely wasn't our fault.

One was Vaughn's when he read out somebody's phone number on air. Don't do that. That was also your fault because you recorded the conversation and broadcast it without their knowledge. So that's actually very illegal. That was actually Vaughn's. I said to Vaughn, we shouldn't do this. And Vaughn said, you fucking play it or I will kill you

And then I said the C bomb So he threw it in my life And so under duress I played this call Under duress of course Naughty boys I also just looked at the ranking of Unacceptability of words And the C bomb is number one still

Still number one Just beating out the N word As if we would Absolutely fair enough As if we would Three is MF Four is

JFC See JFC Jesus fried chicken We can't say anything Can we on the pod Otherwise Jared Will have to put his explicit

But a sea sucker Is the next one So that is number five Yeah Sea sucker Yeah get F Above an. Yeah, get F. Above an F. Yeah, get F.

No, that's five. Seesucker is number five. No, no, no. But where's the slanderous F? Oh, no. Slanderous F is, so it goes Seesucker, GF, FO, F, and then F. See, to me, FO is F. Like, just put F in

and it has F except for JFC because it's one of my favourite And then the bad the homophobic F word is nine on the list Okay And then that's followed by

Ten what? Just C Jesus Which is actually as a chicken as a male chicken Yeah cock-a-doodle-doo Cock-a-doodle-doo

is ten on the BSA list. Cock is 10! There's so many worse words than that. Please only say it's cock. Imagine if you were doing a study and found that men with tiny little cocks wouldn't even like... It's inappropriate.

I'd be like, I would have probably said penis if I was doing a study because a study's got to feel scientific. 20% find cock totally unacceptable. Why do you whisper it like that? You're saying it's sexy. 25% find cock... Fairly unacceptable.

That is so... Now it's skyrocketed to fifth most offensive to me. I've used it like that 25 find it fairly unacceptable I've heard too much And 54 find it neither acceptable Jesus fucking Christ Thank you Sam

Good morning, welcome to the show Fleets Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Happy Monday. Happy Monday. Happy, forgot your breakfast? Off to such a rough start. Got here. I felt really prepared.

And yesterday I thought, I'm just going to make just the best day of food. I packed it all up. I did a beeswax wrap of the toast and little containers of crackers and fruit. Various condiments and spruits. You packed your lunch boxes and then you left them at home. I did just send a sad face photo to Aaron

like, aww, as in get out of bed and bring it to me. But he's asleep. He's asleep. Do you think he would bring it to you? He would, but I don't need him. I've got the other man in my life. Fletch has given me two kiwi fruits. That'll keep you going.

You'll have to deal with me later when I'm grumpy because I don't have as much food. Because you don't have 18,000 pieces of fruit. I feel like you donating your kiwi fruit to me is really going to upset the bowel movements as well. The whole day? Yeah, they go right through you. Those things, that's for sure.

Oh, wow. Anyway, I appreciate it. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yep. What is it? Can anybody remember? No. The top six names.

No. Was it? No. The top six Names No Was it No Top six Things Top six people The top six Charades it to me

The top six Oh The top six P E Oh Pete Davidson The top six Women that Pete Davidson

Could be seeing right now. Oh, yeah, there's rumours, eh? That Martha Stewart. Martha Stewart. He's not sleeping with Martha Stewart. I would have primarily because of her closeness to Snoop Dogg. One step wrong, he's going to get you. Yeah, yeah.

He's going to get you. I would have because of her terrible criminal record. Oh, it's a hot criminal record. For tax evasion. For tax evasion. She's on time. She's on time. She's on time. She's got a homewares line, though, doesn't she?

Oh, she certainly does. Yeah, she's got it all going on. Yeah. So the top six other wahine that Pete Davidson might currently be courting. Okay, next on the show, we need to discuss something that I'd say TikTok is to blame for this. Yeah, and you just explained it to me and I was like, what? Why?

I obviously haven't done it. This is something that women are doing. It's called vabbing. I mean, maybe sort of put some earmuffs on your kids for a little bit. We'll discuss this next. Another thing we can blame TikTok for? Vabbing.

Now, the V is what you think it stands for. Yeah. Doesn't it? Yes. And abbing as in dabbing. Dabbing, yeah. So TikTok users wearing their own, I don't even know how to say this. Their own. Scent from down there, from the V area.

Yeah. To attract men. Now, I think, is vabbing exclusively people with a V area? I'd say so, yeah. And not a C or B area. You ever smelled a scrotum? Yeah, I don't want a B perfume. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

So TikTok users are doing this. It can actually be traced back to a sexologist called Shan, who a number of years ago wrote a book, and she said, I've been doing this for 15 years, and trust me, it works. So I know someone that was doing it. Oh, we're going back now. When did we start?

In 2004. How long ago was that? 18 years ago. Yeah. Yeah. And she swore by it. Absolutely swore by this. Seriously?

Absolutely. Like a deviant, let's say that, but in the nicest possible way, I'll say that. But yeah, she swore by it. She did. So Yahoo News have picked up on this story and they talked to an evolutionary biologist who studies pheromones and they say that there is no definitive proof that VABing works.

If anything, it's probably more of a placebo. Well, yeah, it gives you the confidence. You're like, I'm doing this. Okay. So what is the method of application? Use your imagination there, Hayley. Use your imagination. You know, are you putting it into a spritzer?

Are you getting a little, what are those little dab sticks? I mean, maybe. I don't know how they're doing it, but yeah. They've never heard of them, honey. No, yeah. You know, Juicy Couture or Elizabeth Arden. The good Lord's given you all the tools you should require for this, I believe.

Yeah. Okay. Five on each hand. And just on the neck? I don't know. Yes, apparently. Our friend did it behind the ear so that when guys lent in to talk, they entered the pheromone zone.

Look, I'm going to be honest. It's pretty grim. Shall I do it one day? Here's what will happen. No. No. It is Monday. We have five days that we are hanging out.

I will do it one day this week. I wouldn't. And I'm just going to wait for the boys to go wild. I wouldn't. Nah. Don't do that. I'll take. Nah. Don't do that. I'll take you to HR if you do that. What I'm saying is it's a powerful tool to mess around with. I want you guys to pinpoint the day that you think that I'm absolutely rock-a-mole. Who are our guest quiz masters on? Have you been paying attention this week? Oh yeah,

I could do it on a Thursday when we film. Yes. And just absolutely have them going wild for me. And they'll go, what is that? Because women do it all the time. What is that? What perfume are you wearing? Oh, my God, is that? I'll be like, nope, try again.

That's making me crazy. This is grim. It's a bit grim, eh? Oh, TBC. TBC on the show this week. I just found our call sheet. TBC on Guest Quiz Masters this week. Oh, bugger.

I wonder if it would have worked over Zoom for Jock off. Master Chef. Oh, yeah. So scientists, they don't even know if humans have pheromones. No, so they found them in like animals, some animals and mammals. They assume that we do. They assume that we do. But there's no proof. No.

So if you're doing this, you're really just doing it for yourself. Bit of confidence, hey? You do what you need to do for a little bit of confidence. You'd hate to get a rash, wouldn't you? And then you'd be like, your doctor would go. That means you'd be allergic to yourself. That means you'd be allergic to yourself. Oh, God, this is grim.

You know all the talk of, you know, like, banning TikTok because it's a security risk and the Chinese are spying on you? Now they should ban it with stuff like this. Absolutely fine with it at this stage. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. A true hero, a man that's welcomed back the Warriors to Mount Smart, which will always be Ericsson Stadium to me, by the way. Yeah.

Ericsson, especially when Warriors. When did it change? Like 2005? Yeah. Didn't they make smartphones, like phones? No, Ericsson made like the most, the entry-level cell phones. Like the first cell phones were Ericsson. Oh, right.

Yeah, and they must have purchased a long sponsorship deal. So long that they went bust. They might have prepaid. They might have prepaid. And I don't know when it stopped being Ericsson and went back to Mount Smart, but when the Warriors are playing there, it'll always be Ericsson City.

No, they still do communications. Fantastic news for them. They did like the big black thick phones. Yeah, yeah. Right. They did like the big black thick phones. Yeah. Yeah. Right. They make 5G networks. Oh, the actual networks

themselves. The actual networks themselves. Look at all the Ericsson. I was hoping you were going to Google when it stopped being called Ericsson Stadium.

Not so much what the Ericssons are up to now. Yeah, now they don't do any phones now. It's all like IT and broadcasting communications. They saw the writing on the wall.

Sometimes in careers you've got to pivot. Yeah, you've got to do it. You've got to go back up the supply chain, you know. Well, out there at Ericsson Stadium, he says again, the Warriors have got a new little cult hero popping up. Nicknamed Roger Shuey Varsashek is a man that Kelly Gibbons, 31-year-old Auckland bricklayer, and since the Warriors have been playing at home,

three games, I've played three games at home now, he was popping up in front of Stacey Jones and the coaches and knocking a Shuey. This is where you drink a beer out of your shoe. I personally find it repulsive in every aspect. I've never done one, and I will never. I just find shoes areulsive in every aspect. I've never done one and I will never. I just find shoes are too absorbent. Yeah.

They just soak in the shoes. I'm not filling up my shoe with a nice Prosecco. Like you say, half of it will soak in. It'll soak in. Or just spill out. Yeah. But anyway, with the shoe that, very clever from The Crowd Goes Wild, Prime's nightly sports show, who gave from the Crowd Goes Wild, Prime's nightly sports show,

who gave him a Crowd Goes Wild branded Converse to drink out of. Brilliant. Converse? Yeah. Even worse. Yeah, so absorbent. I hope they lined it with some sort of Scotchgard, some kind of silicone spray. Yeah, I feel like that's going to taint your beard and you're going to be drinking beers. That's the other thing.

You're drinking out of something that God knows what's in it. Oh, yeah. I've done a shooey once with a marching boot. Yeah, and we cut the top off of a pump bottle and put it in the boot. Oh, see, that's cheating because we're eating. Otherwise the leather would have absorbed the... It's cheating. Whatever we were drinking.

I know when he first popped up at the Tigers game, the Warriors versus the Tigers, the first home game for the Warriors when he first popped up and everyone was like, I like this fella. There was accusations that he did have a cup sitting inside a shoe and for the shoey community, that's a big no-no. It's a big no-no. The shoey community has rules. The shoomunity.

Proud group. It's a huge no-no. So he popped up at the Tigers game, at the Storm game, and then he was only around for the first half of the game against the Bulldogs because he got dragged out by security and has apparently received a lifetime ban from Ericsson Stadium. Oh. For doing a shoo-ee.

For doing a shoo-ee. Now, the Warriors apparently were totally unaware of this. Right. Like the management and people involved in the Warriors. So they say, they haven't come out and said it, but I don't think they want,

you know, it's not them. Well, I don't see any rules when I go to a stadium saying you must drink your beer or wine out of the plastic cups. Yeah.

Yeah. Doesn't specify the vessel, does it? That's what he said. He said, I wasn't intoxicated. That was the first beer I'd had. Yeah.

Gee, it was your first beer out of the shoe. And you're out. And he said, I bought the beer from inside the stadium, so I haven't broken any of their rules about alcohol consumption. What rules has he broken then? Is there anything else like behaviour? What gross rules? Not that we can see it.

Well, no, it wasn't abusive. I mean, we've all seen worse at Mount Smart slash Ericsson Stadium, haven't we, over the years? Have we we? Have we what? The big day out. Oh my God, big day out. Or any, like the Adele concerts. How many middle-aged women were doing worse than a shooey? Chardonnay out of their bloody kitty heels.

I went to the Eagles at Mount Smart slash Ericsson Stadium. Oh God, they would have been using their shoes as bongs for that. They were, it was absolutely wild. Put a bit of weed in the part where your lace goes like that and suck it out of the hoof of the boot. Don't teach everyone how to make a bongy. Oh, shoe bong. Yeah.

A bongy. Has there been any, do you think? Well, there's an online petition at change.org to get his band overturned. As there should be. Wow, as there should be. It's the right thing to do. Well, if you feel like sticking up for putting it to the man. Yeah.

Helping out. The cult hero, Roger Shuey. That's the shit. You can do that at change.org. 622, next on the show, the world needs a new name for monkey pox. Are the monkeys upset? Try calling us. Yes.

Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Ailey. Well, the World Health Organization has announced that there will be an open forum held to search for a new name for monkeypox. Oh, good. So I don't know what an open forum is. Is that where, like, you know when they name a new tugboat or a train?

Yeah. A city, and they call it Tuggy McTugface or whatever they are. Yeah, so Poxface is going to be I won't call that now. Cool. So they've said that they don't want to cause offence to any cultural, social, national, regional, professional

or ethnic groups. Good bloody luck, am I right? It's a minefield out there. Can't say anything these days. Some people arguing, yeah, monkeypox has racial connotations. So they are going to come up with a new name. But what? What?

Give me some options. Pussypox. Pussypox pox. Sexier, sexier sex of stuff. Because it's going to need pox in it, right? We've all agreed it is pox. Yeah. Because what did they change?

What was the corona they changed? Corona they... They changed to COVID. Yeah, and they stopped... Remember the... Strands. The strands, the evolutions. Yeah, they'd be like, here's one from South Africa.

Yeah, and then South Africa had like three. Yeah. And South Africa... Baddies. I bet we'd give some of the S a go. Yeah. And I think India had a couple. Yeah.

The British one. There was the British one. Do we make any variations as a nation? Not that I'm aware of. That's really disappointing, New Zealand. We could have done that. Per capita. Where are we on the charts per capita?

Yeah. I don't know. What are you? It's hard because you don't want to call it someone's name. You don't want to call it the Emma. Kyle Pox. Kyle Pox. Yeah.

Vaughn Pox. Because then all the Vaughns. It'd kill the name. Yeah. Or like ISIS. What about Hitler Pox? Hitler Pox. It's already dead.

Is anyone still naming their kid Hitler these days? No. No, it's right down there on Adolf Pox. Adolf Pox. Yeah, that's good. Adolf Pox. He'll have that name too. But then there's the connotation to everything that happened in World War II, isn't there?

Yeah. Okay, so. Poxy Pox. I'm just Googling monkey synonyms. Full about Pox. Well, I guess you get it from full of the bird. Full about. Full about.

They've got monkey as in the verb here. Right. Whereas I want monkey noun. I don't think. Primate pox Ape pox Baboon pox But then that's not different to monkey is it?

Chimp pox Chimp poxy Chimp poxy Chimp poxy It's good I think they want to get away from the animals so Right Oh yeah because it's not going to do great things

No one's going to want to go and see the monkeys in the zoo, are they? Is there some kind of scientific lettering or name? You know, everything has a scientific. Yeah, what's the herpes? Monkeypox. Chemical makeup or whatever. Monkeypox. Scientific name is human monkeypox.

It's called human monkeypox. Monkeypox. HP? I see what the problem is. Could we just call it HP? No, but think about all the printers and stuff. You know, and the computers. I'm so upset.

HM Pox. HM Pox? I got the... Surely it's got a more scientific name than that. Yeah, I would have thought it would have had. Do you know what I saw? Can you see on my collarbone I've got a little white... Monkey pox.

That's my chicken pox, adult chicken pox scar. It was the only one that I saw. Can you see on my collarbone I've got a little white monkey pox. That's my chicken pox, adult chicken pox scar. I've got, it was the only one that I popped. Yeah. I've got heaps of chicken pox scars.

Yeah, it was the only one that I, and I was just like, oh God, I don't want monkey pox. I was put into a straight jacket

as a child when I got chicken pox as to not blabber you this flawless complexion. I had one right in there and it's still got a little scar right in my eye. Even from when you were a kid?

I could have gone blind. Oh, wow. I could have gone blind, guys. Yeah, well, we don't want this. A couple of times. Whatever they call it, there is a new name coming. Is there, how many, where are we at with the cases? Four.

Four in New Zealand. But surely the first person is recovered. Yeah. So I'd say there'd only be one or two. Stay indoors. Hopefully no two. Stay indoors. Hopefully no transmission. Stay indoors. Do you know what would be nice right about now?

What? Just a little lockdown. Absolutely not. Are you kidding me? I'm tired, man. I'm tired. I've got so many gigs on. I want a little lockdown.

Right. A little forced cancellation. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, because then you're not the bad guy. You didn't promise to do something and then cancel on them. No, no, no, no. No, it's the lockdown. It's Jacinda's fault. Two types of people. People that want and love the lockdowns. You didn't promise to do something and then cancel on them. No, no, no. No, it's the lockdown. It's Jacinda's fault. I feel there are two types

of people. People that want and love the lockdowns. I hate lockdowns. And people that hate them. I'm busy. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM. Well, I said the countdown's on. Fire will reign a week today. HBO's House of Dragon premieres August 22nd.

That's a week today. Next Monday, you can get it on Neon. This is the prequel to Game of Thrones and is nearly here. This is one of those shows that's been in my calendar. You know when you're so excited for a show that you literally put it in as like a work meeting? Like, oh, I'm not going to do anything on Monday night because I'm going to be watching that. This just gives me flashbacks

to, do you remember, because when did Game of Thrones end? 2019. Yeah, 2019. And we'd just be hanging out for that Monday and then you'd be like avoiding online because you didn't want to see spoilers. Yes. And then it ended and then our lives were a avoiding online because you didn't want to see spoilers. Yes. And then it ended

and then our lives were a little hollow. Do you remember when people would post fake spoilers? Yes. So they'd be like, oh my God, I can't believe

that so-and-so died. They'd put a post on Facebook and you'd be like, what? And then you'd watch the episode and be like. Another fake spoiler. Another trickster.

I feel like spoilers are synonymous with Game of Thrones and this world because, like, as we know, in this world, anyone dies at any given moment. I'm so excited about this. Same. So you've been reading a little bit about the cast.

Yeah, Matt Smith, probably most well-known as Doctor Who. And he was in The Crown a lot, wasn't he, as well? Yeah, that's right. He played Prince Philip. He is Damon Targaryen. It's sort of the story of the Targaryens. They are the House of Dragons. The Blondies.

Yes, the Blondies that it is thus known for. I wonder if the shoot got a Schwarzkopf sponsorship for all that bleach. I mean, I'm not one to speculate, but it may have been wigs. Really? May have been. May have been wigs. There'll be a lot of actors with their hair snapping off otherwise

at the end of hopefully lots of seasons. Yeah, it would need to be conditioning and moisturising, keeping the hair lush. Using the Olaplex. Yeah, but heaps of faces you'll recognise. I mean, just look at this. And this is the other thing about these shows is the insane amount of people involved in it.

Yes. Those are all considered main cast, all named characters. Don't you think Aaron needs to be on In This World? As like a mountain... Your fiancé? Yeah, my fiancé. As a seven foot... As a mountain character. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. Playing an actual mountain. As a mountain. Maybe.

What, playing an actual mountain? Yeah, yeah. Do you just want him out of the house for a few months? It would be nice to just have a little break. Right, okay. You might not get him back. Yeah. Everybody else will want a slice.

All right, so it's a week today. Yeah, week today. Countdown is on. Sorry to interrupt, but the other day I was talking about this saying, oh my God, it's nearly coming out. And I genuinely, this is not me protecting identity. I cannot remember who I was talking to. And I was saying, I'm really excited for it. And then they said, I haven't even watched Game of Thrones yet.

And I was like, how did you miss that? They said, oh, I don't know. I just sort of missed it and I'm saving it up to watch it. And I was like, you have to do it, but you're not going to get it in time. And then they said, is it based on like historical, you know, like actually historical events? And I was like, I mean, there's dragons. And they were like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. And I don't think they knew they're dragons.

Spoiler alert. Who was that? You need to remember who that was. I'm trying to think. I literally just was looking through my calendar before being, where have I been? Who have I talked to? Who thought dragons were real? It was a woman, and they said,

is the Game of Thrones House of the Dragons universe based on historical events? They think it's a documentary, don't they? They think it's, yeah. Well, no, don't be silly. It's not a documentary. They didn't have cameras when they were dragons. Oh, yeah, yeah, of course, of course.

Well, HBO's House of Dragon, it's on a week today. We've got a chance for you to win cash at 8 o'clock with a game. Good fun. So make sure you're listening out at 8 to win some cash, and you can sign up now for your seven-day free trial at neontv.co.nz. T's and C's apply. Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. ZM Think Tank. This is the top six. Hi there. Pete Davidson separated with Kim Kardashian. Was it last week or the week before? Last week. Woman everywhere rejoicing.

There's something about this man. Well, it's the BDE, isn't it? It's the BDE. It's the BDE. Yeah. And it's, I don't know, is he a bit of a fixer-upper? You could make him,

you could tidy him up. You ground him. I mean, she did. He became quite fashion. Yeah. And he bleached his hair. He didn't get a tattoo saying, my girlfriend's a lawyer.

Oh, yeah. It just means every girl going forward has got to be a lawyer now because he's got the tattoo. And her kid's name? Her kid's initials. He's going to get some laser, surely. Well, he's been getting heaps, but then he just keeps adding.

It's a vicious cycle. It's an addiction. And then over the weekend, Martha Stewart saying, I'm sure he's a lovely boy when asked if there's any truth to the rumours that he's currently courting 81-year-old, we just recently learnt. Martha Stewart.

I can't believe she's 81. Probably just wanted some weed, to be honest. He wanted weed off her. Yeah. Or she wanted weed off him. Either way. Either way, yeah. It could work either way.

Are the top six other woman Pete Davidson could currently be courting? Number six on the list, Melania Trump. Yeah. Oh, yeah, okay. He's busy, isn't he? Yeah. Dealing with the

treason charges. Espionage. What did he get? Espionage. They released what he was officially, the warrant that they used

to raid his Mar-a-Lago resort. Yeah. They released the number and that number corresponds to espionage.

Oh, damn. He had like top secret classified documents. And he was flushing them down a loo. Some of them. It's wild. He started slandering off the guy in charge of the FBI and it turns out he was the very one that gave him the job. Yeah.

Donald Trump. What a waste. I mean, Melania's probably ready for some Pete Davidson BDE. Oh, she is. She deserves it. I would have thought she would have been out of there a lot quicker after the presidency. Yeah.

End it. Absolutely. Number five on the list of the top six other woman Pete Davidson could currently be courting, Jasmine from Aladdin. Oh, okay. Yeah, nice. She's hot, man.

She's the hottest Disney princess. But he also knows no boundaries. Like, Vaughn, she's animated and not even real. He doesn't care. He doesn't care. He doesn't care. That's not how Pete Davidson works. Animated Pete would get it. Number four on the list of the top six other women

Pete Davidson could currently be courting. The Virgin Mary. Oh, okay. Jesus' mother herself. Wow. Good enough for God? Good enough for Pete Davidson. He is our modern day God.

He is. Sort of a Jesus-y type, isn't he? Number three on the list of the top six other woman Pete Davidson could currently be courting are the ghost of Marilyn Monroe. Okay. After he saw that dress. Well, his last girlfriend wore the dress. Yeah, right.

Now he's courting the ghost of the woman who originally wore the dress. So on brand for him. Number two on the list of the top six other women Pete Davidson could currently be courting, Minnie Mouse. Okay. Again, a cartoon. She's quite sexy. Very high profile.

Yeah. Again, a cartoon. Again, yes, and not even a human one. No. You try telling him that. There's some problems there. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six women Pete Davidson could currently be courting,

number one is your mum. Goodness. Any one of us. Patsy, you'd have to go to Italy, wouldn't he? Yeah. No problem. And your dad's there. Would he be okay with that?

Oh, he's the antithesis of my dad. Yeah. Players got to play. Yeah, I reckon Patsy would have a play. Patsy would have a go with Pete. She'd see what was happening. She'd see what it was all about.

See what all the fuss is about. He's got that smile, you know. And my mum loves a funny man. That's why she loves my dad,

an entertaining, funny man. Right. So she'd get all giggly. Oh, I don't want to think about it. Put a towel in her pocket, Craig.

Sounds like she might be out on the town with Pete Davidson. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I like this story a lot, actually. There was a girl who, we're going to talk about dating apps a little bit later on, but I had a little. You had a play on a dating app.

I had a little play, a little dabble on the weekend. I've got some thoughts around it. You're not happy at the state of being. And it just seems to me to be so straightforward, the way to make it all better. Right. More on that later. But this chick was feeling about the same. She was single.

She'd been on all the dating apps for a while. It wasn't going well. In fact, it was all making her feel like crap. She was like, I am done with this. Deleted all of the apps and was like, it'll just happen. You know, it'll just happen. I'll just chill out for a bit. Love will find me.

Love will find me. Three weeks later, she was at the pub with her dad. And they were just having a beer and shooting the breeze and whatnot. And she was telling him, you know, I'm off all the dating apps. I can't be bothered with this anymore. And the dad goes, nah, fair enough. You know, you're worth more than that. And he said,

God, there's a fella behind you who's absolutely keeps looking over this way. Right. And she sort of turned around, you know, did the whole like, don't look now. Don't look now. But there's a person behind me. Oh my God.

Vaughn's the worst for don't look now. You're the worst at this. You say to Vaughn, don't look now. Like, just be real casual about this. And Vaughn will be like, yeah. Because there was a woman the other day, and I'll just say it. She was wearing a very silly hat. The silliest hat.

The silliest hat. The silliest hat. At the airport. At the airport, yeah. And then Fletch put in the group chat, don't all look at once. There's a woman wearing a very silly hat at 9 o'clock. And literally everybody looked. It was a very silly hat at 9 o'clock. And literally everybody looked. It was a very silly hat.

Everybody looked. I think some of us even said out loud, gosh, that's a silly hat. That's a very silly hat. Anyway, so we said this basically, and then she had a look and was like, he's cute. And the dad just goes, leave it with me. So he leaves his daughter and he heads up to the bar as if he's just going to buy a drink. And then the footie's on, on the TV, and the dad just connects with the guy and starts saying, oh, you're watching the game?

Chat, chat, chat, chat, chat. Yeah. So the dad just gets chatting with this guy, discovers he's a really nice guy, and then he just slips it in saying, are you single by chance? And the guy said, yeah, I am. And the dad goes, oh, that's my daughter over there. And then the boy said, yeah, I am. And the dad goes, oh, that's my daughter over there. And then the boy said, I didn't notice. And then the dad is like gesturing to the daughter to come over.

They join. They all chat for a bit, but then the guy's got to go. And the dad says, well, go on, give her your number. Go dad. A few weeks later, they've gone official. Oh, wow. They are boyfriend and girlfriend. They went on a couple of dates.

They chatted for a bit, went on a couple of dates. Now they've made it official. They are boyfriend and girlfriend. They went on a couple of dates. They chatted for a bit, went on a couple of dates. Yeah. Now they've made it official. They're boyfriend and girlfriend. Happier than ever. It's because Dad made them talk to each other, which they wouldn't have done. Dad took the leap of faith.

Yeah. Like, immediately after she was saying, look, it'll just happen. I don't want to do it on the apps anymore. Yeah. And it did, thanks to a little help from Dad. Yeah. So this is why I wanted to get some callers on the line.

And all of those callers, of course, will be in the draw now. Yeah, go to Fiji. Have a little Fiji adventure. When were you a mum and dad, mum and or dad, your wingman? When did they hook you up? It's a classic, now, look, I've got someone for you. My daughter. Oh, yeah, no, that's not always the best.

A lovely girl. It doesn't always work, does it? Yes. Oh, you're a doctor. Oh, I tell you what. Well, my daughter loves doctors. She goes to one. Yeah, you'd love my Renee.

Love doctors. Oh, my Renee. Oh, she's got a heart of gold. Yeah. Look, I'll show you a photo. But when does that actually work? I know. Maybe you've got a story of this happening to a friend.

Their parents were their wingmen and sorted it out. When were the parents the matchmakers? And hopefully, ideally, like, not with, you know, someone in the family. Well, obviously not. Obviously not. Not your cousin. No. Or something like that.

0800 DALESATM. Give us a call. You can text as well. 9696. When was your mum or your dad or both even your wing person? Yeah. We are talking about when your parents hooked you up with

someone. When they acted as a great wing person. Yeah. To you. A great story about a girl whose now boyfriend was seen at a bar by her dad. And dad just... He pulled some strings and made it all happen, played Cupid. And now they are happy and a gorgeous couple.

So we want to hear your experiences of these. Because usually I would find it's the other way around. You know, your parents have been like, oh, don't date that person. Yeah. You know, oh, no. Oh, he doesn't have tattoos, does he? Oh, no. Yeah.

So some messages in on the subject as well. Somebody said, yeah, I didn't want to make a deal out of it. Can you get that? That just flew in. Sorry, there was a moth. Hayley's deathly scared of moths. She didn't see it until it was like right on her. Can we ask the building people to get moth traps and moth balls?

This is the painted apple moth. All over the show. I don't know. It's okay. Feels like weevils, doesn't it? Feels like someone got some dry powder around here and weevils have set in. They're probably after my oats, which are not a breakfast cereal. They're definitely a cereal.

Oats are oats. Oats are oats. Oats are a cereal. Are you okay? Can you continue? It's mostly the big moths that you don't like. It's mostly the big body. Those little ones are weird, though.

Really are. They're gone. I killed it. Look, it's dead. Somebody messaged in, does it count if I, the son, wingman, my mum? They're not even engaged. Oh, no, you have to call back when we do,

when have you hooked your parents up? Yeah, keep listening. That'll be in a few weeks. It's a ticking time bomb. It'll be on its way. Because we'll write it down that we received some calls about this. So we'll do that again in a few weeks. Probably on a Monday too when the CBF levels are pretty low.

Yeah, like today. Sarah, good morning. Good morning. Now, what happened? Well, I was out with my friends and looking to meet somebody and wasn't seeing anybody likely. And it was about midnight and my mum rang saying, I'm coming into town at midnight, as you do.

And I popped into the Fiddler, which my mum and I frequented a lot back those days. Okay. And, yeah, so I was just chilling out with her, and she kept sending people over to talk to me of the male persuasion, and I was just like, seriously, mum, will you stop? Wait, she was sort of, like, ushering people through. Yeah, kind of like it was a dating show. Yeah.

Kind of, yeah. Like, she usually knows everybody in that bar. It's a really small bar, and we knew the staff and everything. And, yeah, like, just everyone that she didn't know the name of, she would end up sending over to me. I was just like, my police stop. Did any of them tickle your fancy? Well, yeah, there was one named Jason,

and he was the second Jason of the night. God, that would have been confusing, especially if you had a couple of brewskis and being like, yeah, which Jason are you? Right. That's right. Yeah, but, you know, she was chatting away downstairs, and I was upstairs with this other person,

and, yeah, he was having a pint, and he looked pretty sober, and my mum was chatting to him. He looked sober? Oh, God, it's slim pickings out there. It was about one o'clock at night. Yeah. So turned out he was working at a bar down the road and he was just having a quiet one after work.

So he was quite reasonable. Yeah, so she sent him upstairs but she said, you know, hang on a second, can you stand up? Oh yeah, you're tall enough. And that makes me sound really bad. But yeah, she's just checking his height. She sent him up and how did it go? you stand up, oh, yeah, you're tall enough, and that makes me sound really bad. But, yeah, she's just checking his height. She knew you prerequisites. She sent him up.

And how did it go? Where are you guys now? Is he still on the scene? Yeah, we met in 2005, so we're married 16 years. Oh, that's nice. That's what we love to hear. So Mum knew. Yeah, she knew.

She knew he was out there somewhere. Or she sent a couple of dubs upstairs, but by the seventh one. She was getting it right. You found a husband. Hey, congratulations also in the draw, Sarah. It's our Fiji happy hour in the draw to win that $5,000 Flight Centre voucher to go towards a sun-kissed Fiji holiday. Well done.

She could take a look at her husband. We could do with it. Thank you so much. All right, in the draw, good luck. Let's go to Stacey, also in the draw for our Fiji happy hour. Stacey, good morning. Good morning. How are you all?

Good. When did, what happened? When did mum or dad hook you up with a partner? So when I was 17, I was working in a care home. Okay. And this lady came in called Sandra, who I trained up. And she said to me, oh, you should meet my son. He's in the army.

He only comes home weekends. You should meet him. And there were people around, so I thought I'd be a bit bigger. I was like, yeah, of course, I'll meet him. And so she set us up on a date, and I got a taxi because I thought, if he's ugly, I'm not going to stop. But I did stop. You were going to just do a drive-by chick?

Yeah. Yeah. You never know. So you said you'd meet him without even seeing him? Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. And we've been together seeing him. Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah.

And we've been together 25 years. We've got three kids. Oh, wow. So he wasn't a complete drive-by uggo. Well, maybe one day if you just get in a taxi and leave, that was only too nuggly. Stacey, good luck. Oh, wow.

All right. Well, good luck in the draw for that Fiji holiday as well. Thanks to Fiji and Flight Centre, that $5,000 voucher. Good luck. Put more people in the draw soon in the next 20 minutes. Some messages. Yeah, my mum introduced me to a girl, watched as we got to know each other and chipped into the conversation with anything that made me look good.

Oh, okay. And mum was eventually the celebrant at our wedding. Married three years this month. Oh, that's nice. That's early days. Yeah. You were just literally saying this morning, why is everyone divorced now?

I know. I was. I've lost faith. Everybody's pulling the pin. Everyone's pulling the pin on their marriages. Yeah. My mum said to me, a boy I went to primary school just started working with her.

Did I remember him? No, I didn't. She introduced us next time I visited her. We've been married six years and she's had her third baby. Oh. How about that whole situation? My mum gave my... What?

Did that not sound... Can you calm the enthusiasm down? Did that not sound positive? I said at five minutes past six, I thought we should all just go home and try again tomorrow. You need to chill out. You're yelling at me, Simon. Did you have a big weekend?

No, I didn't. No, no, not boozy at all. Right. Not enough sleep? How about all that then? How about all that love? Like, not even I say that. Yeah.

Set my daughter up with my hairdresser's son. Six months later, still going strong. That's early days, though. That's like, if we can be realistic, six months. People get less for bloody ram raiding a shop, don't they? That's good for me. True, yeah. That's bloody prison time.

My mum gave my now husband my phone number. Okay. Yeah. Mum knew. Mum knows. How's about all that, love? Mums know, though, eh? Mums know. How about mums? Yeah, they knew. Mum knows. How's about all that, love? Mums know, though, eh? Mums know.

Yeah, they do. Mums know. How about all that? How about all of that? Next. We've been doing all this late night talking. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM.

We may see this pop up online. Android, Google have paid to get this campaign rolling. The hashtag get the message campaign. And this is a campaign, and you'll see American influences popping up. This is a campaign to convince Apple to support the messaging. It's called RCS messaging. And that means that we could all have blue messages, blue text messages. Instead of, you know, when you send someone on Android a text that goes green.

Goes green. And that's how you think they're not cool. That's how you know that they're embarrassing. Yeah. But then if an Android user sends that, that's how they know you're one of those people. Yeah. So why, so why, why? False question mark.

Question mark? So I'm just going like, is this really, like we've got a campaign, we've got social media influences behind it. Is it that big a deal? Or do they think it's like discrimination? Well, I would have thought that like, do you even text people much now? Like, isn't it all like on Messenger? I text Aaron.

Oh no, I text quite a bit actually. I text. Right. Well, yeah, the whole idea is this. It's called Rich Communication Services, RCS. And they want Apple to adopt that. If they do, then everyone can have blue messages. I mean, that's the gist of it.

I believe that's pronounced gist. That's the gist of it. That's the gist of it. So that's gist and the other one's a gist. Right, yeah. God, it's hard with the Gs out there, isn't it? The Gs and the Js are really just stay on their lines. So, okay.

You just, I feel like like We were saying this before What were we talking about And we were saying Like oh it's up on Change.org Oh the guy That's been banned From Mount Smart Stadium

For drinking out of a shoe Now I went on I went on change.org Because you were saying You know there's a bit of a campaign On the go Yeah yeah There's some insane

Change.orgs Go on But you know, like, help South Africa do this, help this family with their sick child, and you're like... 100%. Change the policy of... Fund some drugs that we don't have

access to. Yeah, totally. So when it's like, let the shooey guy at the Warriors game, or let's all have blue messages. You've just got to question the time and effort that's gone into it. at the Warriors game or... Let's all have blue messaging. Let's all have blue messages. Yeah. You've just got to question the time and effort that's gone into it. Does that compare to the one where they're asking Pharmac

to consider sponsoring a drug that would save people's lives? That would actually change lives. Just so you, when you're hooking up with someone, don't get a green message and are like, yuck. Yeah. Like the featured topics on the rightofchange.org. If you're just looking for something to get behind, Indigenous rights, consumer rights, women's rights,

the Defence Force, farmers, arts, economic injustices, and blue texts. And getting a blue text regardless of who you text. We've got cake in the studio now. Like everything's better Yeah producer Anna's birthday yesterday Happy birthday Anna We love and respect you

Without you this show What are you doing? Just would fall apart And you gave her a hug You got a hug for your birthday Thank you so much Yeah whose birthday is it? Is it my birthday?

Because I got a hug Yeah your birthday. Thank you so much. Yeah, whose birthday is it? Is it my birthday? Because I got a hug. Yeah. Now, I'm also very excited because my, like, comedy career, who I want to be idol is in New Zealand. Is in Wellington, in fact, my favourite city in the world. Well, your hometown, yeah. Lisa Kudrow. From Friends.

And, I mean, for me, Friends is the least interesting thing she's ever done. But, yes, Phoebe Buffay is in Wellington. God, she'd set up a good little smelly cat gig in a Wellington trendy cafe, wouldn't she? You know, like Phoebe Buffay would

fit in. At the Central Perk. Like San Fran Bathhouse, maybe. Oh my God. She should. Do a Smelly Cat concert. People don't know why she's here. Like, there's rumours, because she's producing this season of America's, like, Where Do I Come From?

You know, where they get a celeb and they trace back, you know, and they find out and they travel around and tell them about the history of their family. So someone's like, well, maybe she's here for that. But if she produces it, does she produce it or host it? Produce. Right. I don't think she hosts it. Okay. Or could she just be here for a holiday?

Could be. Is she going to be an avatar? Maybe she's an avatar. Who spotted her? Well, she was seen at a restaurant, Loretta, which is on Cuba Street. It's such a nice restaurant. It's so nice. Okay. That she was eating there.

She's just been enjoying the food that the capital has on offer. Where would she be staying? What's the nicest hotel in Wellington? The QT, do you reckon? Or Nomi? Should we be staying at that one we stayed at that time that's got to be pulled down by 2027 because of its horrendous earthquake kindness?

Where you could hear the wind whistling through the windows. Or I think that might have just been whistling through the cracks. Is that the Abel Tasman hostel on Kent Terrace? No, it wasn't that one. I forget the name of it. It was bristly. It had a low ceiling, possibly asbestos. Yeah, I think she's better than that

I hope she's better She's worth like A bajillion dollars So I doubt it So the The person who Worked at Loretta Who said like

Yeah she's here Was like Everyone was like Well did you talk to her Did you get a photo And he was like No I'm just trying to Respect her privacy

Cause that's As Kiwis That's what we pride ourselves on is like when celebrities are here, we just let them chill. Playing it cool. Almost ignoring them. When they were filming Lord of the Rings, you'd always see like people just wandering around the city.

Elijah loved Cuba Street. So she is here and I'm freaking. I love her. Right. Web therapy, so good. The Comeback, my favourite show of all time. You said that before? That was your favourite. You've got to watch it. She is so good. The Comeback, my favourite show of all time. Yeah, you said that before. That was your favourite.

You've got to watch it. She is so funny. Like, you know, people say, oh, she's my favourite ever. Yeah. And then next week they've got another favourite ever. No, no, no, no, no. She's my, like, number one. Because she's such an amazing writer.

She's so funny. And then, like, she's so different to Phoebe Buffay. Yeah. Somebody said she stopped by my workplace. Oh, what's her workplace? I'm just saying, where do you work? Although they're probably hearing us. Oh, it might be Peaches and Cream.

Peaches and Cream. Might be Peaches and Cream. Apparently she's here for three months. That's what the person who said she stopped by my work said. You simply must meet her then. Will she be coming up to the Big Smoke? Why? I know.

Why would you come here? Why would she? You're in Wellington. No, she'll be... She's here for three months. What's she working on? She must be working on something. I don't know.

Yeah, it must be working on something. What is filming here at the moment? I mean, we film a lot, but I don't think she's going to have like a pop-up on like

Broken Wood Mysteries or something. I don't think you should be stalking her. I don't think I'm going to stalk her. I-up on like Broken Wood Mysteries or something. I don't think you should be stalking her. I don't think I'm going to stalk her. I'm just going to follow her with keen interest. Yes. Which is another definition of stalking.

Isn't it? No, because stalking's creepy. Following with keen interest is passionate. I also just want her to know that I think that we should be together. Okay, wow. I'd jump back on this side of the line for that statement. I really think that we should be together. Okay, wow. I'd jump back on this side of the line for that statement. I really think that we should meet each other.

Oh, yep. Maybe. With keen interest. Meet each other with keen interest. And I would finish my letter, sincerely yours, your biggest fan. This is Hayley Jan. So I was also, yeah,

I got my hair done on the weekend. Thanks. I did notice, yeah, I got my hair done on the weekend. Thanks. I did notice, actually. Did you? Yes, but I forgot to say anything. So it was just a freshened and a little trimmed lip. Right, yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah, no, it's good. It's cute, thanks. I just wouldn't say anything to a male colleague, so I wouldn't say anything to a female colleague, you know. Oh, right. Whatever, you said nice ass today. To who? Me. Yeah, I know. But I'd say that to a female colleague, too. He said it to me on the way in as well. Oh, right. Whatever, you said nice ass today. To who? Me.

Yeah, I know. But I'd say that to a female colleague too. He said it to me on the way in as well. Oh, right. He said, man, that badonk. Yeah, yeah. I love a shirt, I'm a donk. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then they say, what about my hair, Vaughn? And I say, well, no, I wouldn't comment on a male's hair, so I wouldn't comment on a female's. No, that's fair. But asses, we all got them. The amount of times I walk into this room and I hear auger. No, that's fair. But asses, we all got them. The amount of times I walk into this room and I hear auger. It's like a building site, isn't it?

In the 80s. It really is. Anyway, I was over at my friend's so my hairdresser is my friend and I went around to her house and we had McDonald's and wine as she did my hair. she is-

Wait, do you spill lettuce and stuff on the bib? Do they put one of those things over you? Yeah, she puts a cape on me. A cape, yeah. Yeah, a cape. And so there's not just hair, there's like little lettuce bits. Well, I went for lettuce-free McDonald's over the weekend. I got nuggies and cheeseburgers.

Okay, right. It was like the perfect day. Wine, nuggies and cheeseburgers. Okay, right. It was like the perfect day. Wine, nuggies, cheeseburger, gossip, music on. It was so good. Never going to a salon again. Fresh do. Anyway, so I'm always asking about her dating life because she's been single for a few years

and she's on all the apps and whatnot and a few chit chats and stuff. And she was telling me about a kind of a disappointing interaction. And I was like, oh, that sucks. And then I said, can I have a little go? I'll just have a little go and just like flip through some of these things. Oh, yeah. You're like Vaughn.

You're like Vaughn because you got into a relationship. Before the apps. Pre-dating apps. Yeah. You find them so fascinating fascinating whereas the rest of us are like done with them and i also like when i hear about them all my friends that are on these apps i'm always like i would have thrived like what do you mean you're not meeting nice people there's so many people on there you're just you're just not you're being too picky or you're being

too whatever you've got your settings wrong so i hopped on and it is dire. It is dire out there. If you were to compare like the dating apps to a real life scenario, what kind of crowd are we dealing with here? Like where are you going? Just like men, like clueless. They're just clueless. Okay. I'm like in what world would you upload that to your profile?

For example, men, if you are on these dating apps, whakaronga mai, because if you don't smile in your photos, we think you're going to attack us. We think you might kill me. I know someone who's married to this guy and he never smiles in photos and I say to people who know them, I'm like, is he like a prick? No, but do you know?

No, that's just his face. He's a nice guy who doesn't smile. I'm like, because I've never met him. I've only ever seen him online and I can totally see that. But do you know, I know some people, they don't smile in photos because they're super conscious about their teeth

and their smile. No, I mean like you can do a closed mouth smile. A smirk. No, but that looks even more psycho. No, it doesn't. I would say like 95%. Don't do that. Don't do that.

That's a closed smile. That's my smile. No, just like, I'm pleased. No, you're trying to. Why are you trying to calm it down? Your lips have disappeared. They're rolled inside. Okay, I'll just smile with my mouth open and show my manky teeth.

Just show your teeth. Like, this is what we were both screaming. We need to see your teeth. Not to go, like, do you have good teeth, bad teeth. It just shows us that you're, like, open and bright and, like, not going to murder us. Right. I would say 95% of the photos I saw were just, like, they looked like terribly lit mug shots. No, but just, like, a neutral face. If I just went, and I'll be like, they looked like terribly lit mug shots. No, but just like

a neutral face if I just went and I'll be like, oh, upload that. Yeah, right. It's so simple. So that would be your first tip is men, smile. Yeah. Even if you're self-conscious about your teeth, smile. You gotta smile. Work out what smile works for you, you know. Practice in front of a mirror.

That's what they told me to do when I worked at that petrol station. There you go. We've got to see your teeth. Because the moment I'd swipe, I'd see a guy with teeth, like a bright, bright smile. And even if he wasn't her type, we were instantly like, he looks nice. Right. And did you see any guys with like

dead pigs and fish? So many. And I was like, it's a cliche now, the idea of holding a fish. And I just still couldn't believe that people were still doing it. I thought it was a joke at this point. The amount of shirtless scrawny men holding fish. I was

shooketh. And then the interactions she was showing me some of the interactions the chats that she has with people. I'm like where are your communication skills? I just don't think it needs to be this hard. Don't you know how to be this hard. But what were they saying to her? Just weird stuff.

And then they get like hoity. They get like shirty with her. What did they get shirty about? Nothing. Like if she would delay in sending a message and then I'd be like, I'll be like, whoa, what a child. Well, yeah, because you might not be on the app 24-7. You've got to work.

But then like Did it make you appreciate What you got at home Yeah What No it did It did But it's just

To me it's like I'm not You don't need to be An absolute 10 With a PhD In medicine To get a date on Tinder Yeah Just show us

your teeth so we know you're not going to murder us. You're about to say something else for a second. No, don't show us that. They'll probably show them that before they show them the teeth. Oh my god, the amount of sort of like groin, because you can't put your willy up, but like groin leading down. I'm like, that is not

what we're here for. What do you mean? People had their groins on there. You know, like an ab with like a low under. Oh, gutters. The had their groins on there. You know, like an ab with like a low. Oh, gutters. Under, the gutters. Yeah, right. And I was like. Top of the pubes.

Top of the pubes to ya. Top of the pubes to ya. I'm sitting alone in case you don't already know. Pack up your shit and go. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley play ZM hey just asking for a friend it's how's he been

asking for a friend yeah so there's you know other moments we ask you to call up and tell us your own problems or your own stories this one you wouldn't do that because you're asking obviously for a friend yeah obviously friend we have received an email hi FVH This one, you wouldn't do that because you're asking obviously for a friend. Yeah. Obviously.

Friend. We have received an email. Hi, FVH. I like that. Nice and simple. Some people overthink it. Some people write the full name and it's just a waste of time. Yeah.

Isn't it? When you can just write FVH. Now, this one is definitely asking for a friend because they say, asking on behalf of my dot, dot, dot, flatmate, question mark, sure. Okay. So there you go. My flatmate is in an awkward position with their close friend. Stay with me.

The friend has been with her boyfriend for a couple of years now and her best friend, they've been friends since primary school. The boyfriend is nice enough, but the friend thinks she could do way better. He's messy, lazy, and it always seems to be his way or her way. They never seem to do activities that she wants to do. It's always stuff for him. An example, he recently took her for a weekend away and then, quote, bumped into the lads and ditched her for the pub for two days.

Oh, okay. Was she allowed to go to the pub for the boys weekend? I think it might have just been the lads. A boys weekend. Stitched, it says. Yeah, right. So it sounds like, wow. Now, asking for my flatmate,

should she give her two cents on their relationship, on her best friend and this pub guy's relationship. Should she say something? Yeah, it's not like he's cheating or stealing or doing anything majorly terrible. So parts of me wonder if she should just stay out of it, but they genuinely think that she didn't realise that she's

worth more than what she's getting from this guy. Help, help, help. So basically, should this person stick their nose into this couple's business and say to their friend, their very close friend, hey, you're better than this. Your boyfriend's a douchebag. A douchebag, yeah.

He's not worth it. He's got big douchebag energy, I will say it. But it's, I mean, it's not their place, is it? Yeah. All I can think of is if this was my best friend I would stick my nose in. You'd say something?

Let's be a good friend. How would you do it? Pretend Fletch is your best friend and his boyfriend's a slob that likes going to the pub. Don't get me wrong. Go to the pub. But like you know

there's got to be a bit of balance. I would just say I want to go away for a lad's weekend. There has to be more of these kind of instances, though. I would just say it straight. I'd be like, babe, your boyfriend's a dick. Yeah, if you went away, if any of my friends went away for a weekend and then they said, oh, yeah, it was going well until all of his mates

showed up and then he was off to the pub and I just stayed in and watched Tally. Yeah. What? And if she was texting me on this weekend and was like, oh to the pub, and I just stayed in and watched Tally. Yeah. What? And if she was texting me on this weekend, and was like, oh my God, I haven't seen him for two days. He's been at the pub with the boys. I thought he'd taken me away. I'd be like, come home.

I'll pick you up. Let's go out. Yeah. In fact, drive the car home. Yeah, leave him there. Don't go back and get him. Let his boyfriends bring him home. But if you've gone to like Queenstown or something,

you don't know anyone. You can't be rescued. Oh my God, you simply must book into Blue Canoe. I'd go by myself. If you're like Queenstown or something you don't know anyone, you can't be rescued. Oh my god, you simply must book into Blue Canoe. I'd go by myself. If you were in Queenstown on your own, it'd be better on your own. And they'd be like, are you expecting company? I'd be like, I bloody hope not.

Now, pack me up all of these things in a doggy bag. This is hard. Women do this. We do this. We go like, we would be honest with a friend and say, I don't really, I got to say, like, I know you like him. He seems like a really nice guy,

but these things are red flags for me and I don't think that you should stay with him. I think you deserve better. And then they can get annoyed with you more, but you've done what you can do. But I know the boys are like, ah, let him figure it out on his own. Right.

All right. Well, we want to know what you think. Asking for a friend today. 0800 dials at Amazon. You can text as well. Right. All right, well, we want to know what you think. Asking for a friend today. 0800 dials at Amazon number. You can text as well, 9696. Should this person give their two cents on this relationship or just stay out of it? Just asking for a friend.

Asking for a friend. We're asking for a friend. Whether or not a friend should stick their go sticky beaking into someone else's relationship because they think that that relationship is dodged. The guy's a bit of a dick. You've got that friend that could be doing way better. Yeah.

That is an angel on earth. This could work either way by the way. This can work both male to female, female to male, male to male, female to female. Well, Fletch, should we do it now? Vaughn, Sade is a bitch. She's got to go. She's got to go, man.

She's got to go. She's the only thing holding me back from moving to the bush. I'll tell you that much. Yeah. I think I would never see you again. You would not. But that's what you want, man. She's holding you back from your dream.

You'd have booby traps around your house. I'd have boobies too. I'd make some boobies. You'd have booby traps and boobies. And boobies everywhere. And you'd have a bunker. You'd be on some kind of conspiracy forum website. No, no, no, let's not go there.

No, you would because that's what happens when you isolate yourself. Okay, you just fall into that trap. You fall into traps. Oh my God, I reckon a couple of years in, all of his T-shirts would be like threadbare. Patched up with possum fur. Yeah, they would be. So we want to know, yeah, asking for a friend,

what should she do? Stick her nose in? Or stay out of it. Or stay out of it. Now, I'm on the side of give your two cents. Same. If they're that close of friends, your friend will understand where you're coming from

and appreciate your insight. Especially if you get dragged away for a nice weekend away, but it's actually a lad's weekend and you get left alone. Liz, what do you reckon? Asking for a friend, what should the friend do? Well, my logic would be is have a chat to your friend originally and just ask them whether they think that behaviour is offensive before you jump and boot to no one and give your opinion.

Yeah, like do a vibe check. But then sometimes they like... By the sounds of it, she came back and said, I just got left behind for the whole weekend while they went. So obviously she wasn't like, oh my God, it was fantastic. You went to the pub and I just, nothing. Yeah, but I know what you mean. You just like put the feelers out and being like...

Just put the feelers out. Gentle, gentle because she would have gone, oh, well, maybe, you know, read a book or went to a pub and had a great time. Yes, gentle, gentle. Yeah. Gentle, gentle because, yeah, that's one of the reasons it can absolutely blow up in your face.

Also, if you're just a little bit upset and going, oh, he could have really been here, then you go gentle, gentle and and you just sort of encourage them along rather than going, your boyfriend's a dick. Also, because if you come in hot and you say, ah, your boyfriend's a dick, and then they get married, you can never take back that you've said that your husband's a dick. The toothpaste is out of the tube.

It's out of the tube and it's not going back out. Have you ever tried to finger toothpaste back into a tube? No, you do the little sucker where you're like, impossible. Yeah, it's impossible. It's too thick. You'll never get it all back in there. It's too thick.

And then you've got a messy mouth hole, don't you? Yeah, you do. Jenna, what do you reckon she should do? Hi, team. Look, she's wasting the best years of her life with this loser. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But, you know, some people are just blind to that, though, aren't they? They're just so in love. Yeah. Some people are just blind to that though, aren't they? They're just so in love. Yeah, but they'll regret that when they're old and haggard and they're still single. Haggard! Oh no, it's coming for us. No, no, it's like, in real life if that was your best mate, yeah, so gentle like the other caller said, but then just

be like, look, you deserve better. Yeah. You do. Yeah, because she's using the best years of her life, but men, of course, all age like George Clooney, so we're only getting better. Yeah, we are. Fun one. Yeah.

Let's be honest. Gravity is not kind to women. I mean, your balls are in a sling, so. Your balls are in a sling. My balls are in a sling. I mean, technically, you would call underwear a sling, wouldn't you? Yeah, a bra is somewhat of a sling, but maybe take it off.

I thought she was referring to the scrotum itself there. Yeah, but I mean like everything, everything that happens to a woman as we age is just not fair. Yeah, I agree. I think once you hit 40, you start turning into a man, don't you? You're right because the estrogen levels go down a bit, right? Yeah, yeah. I mean, obviously, I'm not there yet.

Hayley, you and I are the same age. Oh, thank you very much. We're young, keeping it tight. Yeah, we are. We're cool. We're fine. Keeping it tight, keeping it light. But this girl, if she's going to get to that age,

and she's going to be like, oh, my God. We're going to get the best of her out there. Yeah. Okay, all right. We do. Gina, amazing. Thank you. Thank you. to get the best of her out there. Yeah. Okay. All right. We do. Gina, amazing. Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah, great insight there. I'm definitely not arguing with that. No, no, no. No. Vaughn, some messages in. From a man? Yeah. He would say that, though.

He would say that. He would say that. Wait to hear what he's got to say. No, but he would say that. Wait to hear what he's got to say. Cancel that noise. If I tried that business with my wife when we were dating, she would have given me the boot. Is this the standard we now expect

from our men? Thank you, man. Yeah, that's from a man. Actually, that's glorious. Yeah, man. I knew, yeah. This is a man who smiles and shows his teeth. Yes. I would say, baby, deserve to be treated better than this and leave it at that. She needs to find her own way, but you could point out occasionally that she's worth more. My mum likes

to call this putting the cat on the roof. Well, don't put the cat on the roof. Cats famously can get up places, but can't get down. Famously don't like hot tin roofs. What do you mean cat on the roof? Cat on the roof. Cat on the hot tin roof? When she's like, I'm going to let you sort it out, but I'm going to put the cat on the roof,

and then plant it in the ceiling. No, she puts the cat amongst the pigeons. No, no, she puts the cat on the roof. She gets the pigeons to get it. The cat on the roof is not a saying. Cat on the roof can be a great communication tactic, but if done incorrectly, you're manipulated. What is the cat on the roof?

You keep looking for what the cat on the roof is. I've got some other text messages. There's a cat on a hot tin roof. Yeah, well, that's a musical. Straight, say, the fiddler on the roof? Should I let my cat on the roof? Someone's on the roof. Roof shout.

Something is on the roof. There's a fiddler on the roof, and there's a cat on the hot tin roof. But when you put the cat on the roof? Someone's on the roof. Roof shout. Something is on the roof. There's a fiddler on the roof and there's a cat on the hot tin roof. But when you put the cat on the roof, it means... Boy, I can't wait to hear what this is. See, you... Okay, it's an excellent method you can use to transition people over time to something new. So you're just going, boop, planting a seed.

See, the cat being on the roof is the new thing for the cat. A cat can't live on the roof. Why don't you just say, plant a seed? I'm going to plant that seed. Yeah? I'm going to plant that seed. Plant the seed. Yeah, I'm going to plant that seed. Plant that seed. And then I'll leave it up to you to water the garden.

What about the leading the horse to water? What's that one? You can't lead a horse. No, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't force it to drink. Yes. That's the same. That would be a good saying. You can kind of show them the way that you can't force them to pull the trigger on it.

Stop trying to make us say this cat on a roof thing. It's not. There's two that already do the thing. I'm going to climb the cedar. You can't lead a hook. We've already got sayings. You don't need to start a new one with a cat on a roof. No.

Because a lot of us live in apartments and don't have a roof. You must have a roof. There is a roof, but not a communal roof. My mum is usually listening from Italy, and now she's abandoned me in my hour of need. I need her to explain her saying cat on a roof. She's probably got a cat on the roof trying to shoo it off. Yeah.

She's thrown it up there and now it's meow, meow, meow. We keep trying to find the origin of cat on the roof. Someone, oh, wow. I wish my friends had done this because now I've been with them for 17 years. We've got three amazing kids, but I'm miserable. Oh. You've got to pack up and get out of there. That's heartbreaking.

But I get it because I've been on Tinder over the weekend and it's awful out there. Yeah. So you're better just to stay miserable by the sounds of it because Tinder sounds awful. That's my advice. Was that what you said? I've been trying to rack my brain as to what you compare Tinder to. Oh, a cat on a roof.

Not a cat on a roof. It's like putting a cat on a roof. Is it like looking a gift horse in the mouth? No. Would you describe it as sort of post-apocalyptic? Tinder. To me, oh no, that was going to be mean. But it feels like the dregs.

The dregs. The dregs. And I'm not, this is the thing, I know it's not the dregs, but the way they present themselves makes them feel like the dregs. And I'm not, this is the thing, I know it's not the dregs, but the way they present themselves makes them feel like the dregs. Right. For those that missed earlier,

Hayley, you went on your friend's Tinder at the weekend and you want people to smile more. That would be your takeaway.

Yeah. That's all you've got to do is show us your teeth, you'll get more dates. I promise you, smile in your first photo. And it'll get you done.

And put your gutters away. So what is our outcome asking for a friend? I think gently, gently was for Liz. Liz that said gently, gently. That seems to be the way. But you don't, I mean, you only get one of these, don't you? These lives of ours, you only get one of them. Lead the horse to the seed on the cat roof.

And don't shoot it. And Muhammad to the mountain. There's a saying out there somewhere that'll work. Lead Muhammad's horse to the water. Don't shoot it or Muhammad to the mountain. There's a saying out there somewhere that'll work. Lead Muhammad's horse to the water, don't shoot it, or it will gather moss. That's how the saying goes. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it is. I'm glad we answered that. Play.

Zed-In's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about when chips go bad. Okay. What are you doing? I'm buying cat food. I just got an email saying it's 25% off. And also, he said it was 25% off, and then he just tried a code and got an extra 10% off.

What was the code? I just put 10 off. Do you ever do this? I just like, when I get to the checkout, I'm like, 10 off, 20 off. I always try Simone 10. Yeah. Shall I try Simone 10?

Yeah, try Simone. Sometimes Simone 20. How do you spell Simone? S-I-M-O-N-E. 10. Not Simeon. I don't know if Simeon. Sometimes it's Simone Twinnett. How do you spell Simone? S-I-M-O-N-E. Ten. Not Simeon. I don't know if Simeon has a... No, that's got a red line.

No, that didn't work. Simone's not got a code for that. Ten off. No, she can't have a cat. Try Clint. Ten. No, she's got a dog. I think he's a different brand of cat.

Oh, is he? Ah, bugger it. I know he does cat stuff. All right, well, this is when chips go bad, ladies and gentlemen. Chips. Chips. Crisps.

Crisps. Okay. I'd also like to introduce you to Olestra, known by its brand name Olean, a fat substitute that adds no calories to products. I listened to a podcast on Olestra. Did they talk about when Lay's chips reduced their diet line of chips yeah well welcome aboard

okay i'm intrigued in 1998 frito-lay introduced wow chips now this is a brand in a you don't get you can't get them here right lays i think you get them in australia you get like here's it australia you can get them in yeah america yeah i've had them though. They're really thin. Real thin. Kind of like a Pringle. More like a Pringle. But in a bag. Yeah, more like a Pringle than a kettle chip. And they've always got kind of interesting flavours as well. Yeah, they've got a great range.

Like tomato sauce. Flavours. So in 1998, they introduced Wow Chips, fat-free chips. So, I mean, that's the dream, right? A chip that's no fat, no calories. However, it was made with Olestra whose molecules, when

you eat enough of them, act like a laxative. Yes. Like chewing gum and those mints that are artificially yes. I think Olestra was like worse, right? Olestra was like proper laxatives. Really?

Not just like, oh, I've got a slightly loose stool because I accidentally ate a whole thing of Eclipse mints. Not that. So it was originally developed by accident, as all great inventions are. Yeah. It was originally invented by accident by Procter & Gamble. When they were researching fats,

it could be more easily digested by premature infants. When babies are born early, they haven't fully developed the digestive system. And breast milk is so full of those fats and everything, it makes a baby all chubby, chubby, woley, woley. It's what they need. They put on the fat, they can stay warm, everything like that. But when they're born premature,

they can have trouble digesting it. So they were like, we need something that can be digested easily. This was not it. This was an absolute accident. They didn't give it to any babies. They didn't even get to that part. But they did realise that it was a substance

that would quench the hunger. Quench the hunger? Satiate. Satench the hunger. Quench the hunger? Satiate. Satiate the hunger without additional calories. So one could gorge. Okay. However, there was a side effect. The side effect is it will just absolutely tear through you.

So no calories and it'll flush you out. This sounds great so far. I need these. So they went through the process. They said an ounce of Wow Chips has zero fat and only 75 calories, whereas an ounce of regular chips, 10 grams of fat and 150 calories. So you got half the calories, zero fat. Everyone's like, what's not to love?

Next came the taste test. But when you taste test, of course it's one chip, one at a time, isn't it? Yeah. How's that taste? Which one's that?

Oh, I can't tell the difference. Fantastic. Next stage, obviously we have to put a warning label on because it's something a little bit different. Yeah. But it made it to market.

Okay. So then you had people and we've all been one of them, you opened the bag of chips with the intention of just a couple. I'm going to pour a small bowl. I'll pour a small bowl. And then you're back to the pantry before you know it to top that bowl up.

Yeah, and then the third trip back, you just ditch the bowl altogether and you're just like, well, I might as well finish the bag because that'll just go to the loose. It's crunch. Tipping the crumbs at that point. Yeah, tipping it in. However, that's when people were ingesting a dangerous amount of olean and it just blew straight through them.

Wow. So people were eating a bag of chips and then having extreme abdominal cramps and very loose stools. From chips to squits. Yeah. Wow. Straight away and apparently quite quickly too. And that managed to make it to like supermarket shelves in America. Yeah. Wow. Straight away and apparently quite quickly too. And that managed to make it

to like supermarket shelves in America. That's crazy. Still can be in food. In fact, some foods that are, you know, you can get in America

and you're like, why can't we get them here? Sometimes it's red food colouring. Sometimes it's the blue food colouring. Yeah. And sometimes it's the fact that it's got Olestra in it. Olestra is prohibited from sale

in the European Union, Canada, and many other markets. It's so crazy because at the moment, there's all these New Zealand companies that want to get their baby formula to America because they're experiencing so much shortage. Record shortages, yeah. And they just won't accept some of it.

Yeah. And it's like, well, but you'll let all this other stuff go through. Oh, yeah. But it's who's got the money, right? I'd say so, yeah. It's totally who's got the money. And also a product that promises chips, but with half the calories and none of the fat.

That's a moneymaker. And if you can't taste the difference. Yeah. Wow. However. America. Your butt can taste the difference. Yeah.

And you can't trust even the slightest passing of gas after eating a whole bag of the fat-free chip. So today's fact of the day is in 1998, there was a chip on the market in America that could quite easily make you poo your pants if you coughed. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. This is really funny that we're bringing this up because I actually just remembered I have to order some flowers from this flower shop for my personal trainer who you also think it's weird that I hug and am friends with.

You hug everyone. I make friends very easily and I get close to people, even people I shouldn't get close with, like my doctor, who if you missed it last week is moving and so she basically had to dump me, and I cried, and we held hands, and we had a hug. And then... And Friday you booked an appointment

and picked up the flowers from the florist, and you broke up with her, officially, kind of. Officially, we parted ways, although we have exchanged personal emails, and we're going to keep in touch. I know you find that weird. That is... She's invested in my health journey.

You're not going to message me like, hey, you know that rash? It's still there. No, no, I think we're moving from medical to friendship. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. As I have with my personal trainer from fitness, you know, to the shred life, which I'm obviously still rocking, to more of a friendship-based relationship. Do you

drink with your personal trainer? No, she's not a drinker. Oh, right. Okay. It's the only thing that's stopping me. Do you drink with your personal trainer? No, she's not a drinker. Oh, right, okay. It's the only thing that's stopping me. Are you paying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, we work out as well. She puts me through a- It's a professional relationship.

This is like when waiters flirt with you in America. It's because they want the tip. They want the tip. You thought that guy was so keen on you, eh? Yeah. Remember when we thought the waiter was keen on Fletch and then turns out he was just a fan of Have You Been Paying Attention?

And Fletch was really upset. Yeah. Fletch and then turns out he was just a fan of Have You Been Paying Attention and Fletch was really upset. Fletch was like ripping off his jumper trying to show off to this wait staff. We had to make BFFs. This is outrageous lies. And they came up and they were like, hey, I've been looking over. And we were like, yes. And they were like, because I'm a big fan of Have You Been Paying Attention. Anyway, so on Friday, you guys were giving me a hard time

because I was picking up flowers from a florist to take to my doctor. Now, I saw you put these. Did you send them to the group or did you put them on Instagram stories? They were huge. Yeah. Like an expensive, huge bunch of flowers.

Yeah, I know. But they're really beautiful and my doctor deserved it for everything she's given me over the years. You know what you want to go for flowers? What? Dried flowers. Yeah, I love a dried flower.

They last way longer than dumb, dead, dying flowers. I mean, they've just been dying. What, do you hang them upside down in your house bus? No, no, no, no. You buy them dried. You buy them dried so they never have to be upside down. Nah, go back to your house bus with your dried flowers. No, but it doesn't have the same kind of wow.

No, it doesn't. And I really wanted to walk in and I got a fancy bag. I go to this place called Kingsland. I'll give them a little shout out because it's like wild flowers. You know, they're kind of like... I'm not buying flowers from any inner city suburb. I'm literally on the website now. Look how beautiful they are.

Because I'm going to order some more for my personal trainer whose birthday it is today. Anyway, so then you guys said to me, because I said I hug my hygienist who does my teeth. That's weird. I hug my doctor and I hug my personal trainer. And then you said, God, you hug your florist. And I said, well, no, not really.

Then I went into the florist and I said, oh, hi, I'm Hayley. I'm just here to pick up some flowers. And they said, oh, yeah, hi. They said, we heard you talking. We knew, you know, that it was you because we heard you talking on the radio this morning about picking up these flowers and how the boys were asking if you hug your florist.

And I was like, ha, ha, ha. And I grabbed the bag and as I left, I was like, so are we going to hug? So now, yeah, I hug my florist. Oh, no. Jesus. Stop hugging professionals. I hug my florist.

Now I hug my producer. It was Anna's birthday yesterday. She doesn't want to. So I've got to cuddle. She got a birthday hug. Yeah. Yeah. You guys are next.

Would you hug your arresting officer? Yeah, if he let me off. Probably what would get her arrested in the first place. If he let me off a little bit. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little po. Silly little po. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole.

And do you floss your chompers before or after brushing your chompers. So what's your order? Me personally, mouthwash and floss before the brush. Yeah, because isn't there the theory that if you brush your teeth, sometimes if you've got lots of food in your mouth, you can jam it in further. Oh. Because a lot of people think they're like, oh, if there's too much, I've got to brush it first to get most of it out

and then floss. But you're supposed to floss first and then brush because you open up the gaps with the floss and then the toothbrush can get in. That's what I thought. And then you mouthwash at the end because the gaps are all free. I don't mouthwash.

You don't mouthwash. I do from time to time. I mouthwash while I floss. Oh. Because I've got one of those flossers on a long stick, so I get a mouthful of mouthwash and I like use it as a... You must dribble. Yeah, but a dribbly.

But I generally do it in the shower. So I just dribble. It just goes straight on. Straight on to your... Yeah. And then it tingles. Cheap thrills, baby. Clean teeth and a tingly doodle.

It's the name of my book. Clean teeth and a tingly doodle. It's the name of my book. Clean teeth and a tingly doodle. The Will Smith story. I've gone back to the water flosser because I went to the hygienist and I was like, I've got to keep these all nice and sandblasted, you know? Yeah. And I was doing it yesterday and you do kind of like, ha, ha, because the water's all coming in so it just all like falls out of your mouth.

Yeah. And then one bit hit the bottom tooth, which I will say is a little sensitive, it's been neglected. And I went, ah, like that, and the water was still spraying and it like sprayed all up the back of my bathroom and in my hair. It was a mess. How much water comes out of the water sprayer? You like fill up a tank, like, I don't know,

like a 10 centimetre tank, and it just like squirts out high pressure. Wow. I'm into it. Highly recommend. Because I voted in this and I was quite surprised that people were the other way around when I voted. Do you floss before or after brushing your teeth? Yeah, people, 61% of people floss after brushing their teeth. No. You floss before, you floss and mouthwash, get it all warmed up.

It's like taking your car to the car wash and giving it a pre-wash. Yeah. Do we have a definitive, what do dentists say on this? You said you're close with your hygienist. Isn't the best thing to have in your mouth last the toothpaste? Because it kind of sticks, it can stay on the teeth a little bit and provides a little bit of extra protection. I mean, if there are any dentists listening,

I mean, call us and let us know. Dentai. I mean, if you look, dentists, if you give it a quick Google, it all says floss, then brush. It's more effective because you've got to get out the big chunks. Okay. This is on Big Toothpaste website. Yeah.

Censored Dye. Yeah, I'm on that. Are you on that? Yeah, yeah. The short answer. And then, so they say, while it may be surprising, flossing first followed by brushing is most effective. Why is it surprising to everyone? It is the logical step.

No, but I get it. To remove the gunk from your teeth and then brush and then mouthwash. But if you'd just eaten a big nutty granola and you've got it all stuck in your teeth, you would think like, God, I'll just bloody give it a quick brush out. Then get a brush out. Then floss. Oh, yeah, yeah.

So Jessie's reason she flosses before she brushes her teeth is if you floss afterwards, it can make your breath smell because I guess you're dragging everything out that the toothbrush must. That's why you mouthwash last. No, I always mouthwash whilst I'm flossing. Pre-wash, if you will. You're the only person that does that.

No, you've got to lead in. Nobody wants a tingly bit. Try it. Nobody wants tingly bits. Everybody try this for me. You're the only person that does that. No, you've got to lead in. Nobody wants a tingly bits. Nobody wants tingly bits. Everybody try this for me. You won't regret it. But mouthwash beforehand, it loosens up all the business. I remember when I was a kid, the big thing was you mouthwash before you brush

because it loosened everything up. No, I would have loved brush. Oh, yeah, like get it moving. Brush, floss, mouthwash. That's the logical way, says Harley, who is apparently one of two Staffordshire Terriers. Oh, okay. Claudia says you

floss beforehand because it gets rid of the gunk between the teeth and then when you brush it cleans where that gunk was. After doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Yeah. Andre said third option, don't floss but tell the dentist they do. They know. They know, Andre. They've seen through your

web of lies. Hayley says you floss beforehand. It's like scraping the dishes before you put them in the dishwasher. Yes. That's a good one. Sensible. And then the water you run on the dishes while you do it, that's the mouthwash. So always do that beforehand too. Okay.

Kate says I floss afterwards and then another quick brush post floss dentist recommended flossing after you have the toothpaste foam in your mouth

this is why I use a mouthwash Kate yeah Paige says I'm a dental assistant and it's more effective to floss afterwards flossing gets all the parts

you didn't get with your first brush nah go back to dentist school yeah I won't hear it I don't know if they went to dentist school because they're a dental assistant.

They do a lot of study. To be a dental assistant? Yeah, they must have gone away. You can do lots. How many years are they studying to suction the back of your mouth with that thing, even though it's very, like, surely not keeping them five or six. It's a lot. It's five or six years. What, is year one

holding the suction thing still? So it doesn't go... It doesn't suck up your tonsils out. Oh yeah, ove lovely. Erica says, this is a huge debate in my house. I floss after brushing, but my partner flosses before. I'm very invested to hear people's opinions. Your partner's sensible.

Yeah, and you're a fool. A damned fool. Part of the majority. Someone said, have you ever smelt the floss after you've used it? No, I don't do that. Why do you sniff? No. What are those inquisitive people that have to sniff everything?

I do love a sniff of things. Okay. I'm a big fan of the sniff. I don't want to sniff things in my mouth, though. Just to see how bad it was. Yeah, but somebody else might have had to, wouldn't they? Yeah. Today's still a little pile.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Oh, another one in the bag. And it's a Versace bag as well. If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell your mates. You don't sound sincere there, Vaughan. I'm just reading what's written here. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.